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#fun fact! my stuff I deleted document for 2023 was 118943 words long and most of that was from Prince
aohendo · 3 months
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Prince for Hire Deleted Scene: Part 12
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Amount Deleted: 343 words
Reason for Deleting: was working on setting up the kidnapped sorcerers thing (relevant with Batar's story-line and then a bit later with a recurring inquisitor who would make a fantastic drinking buddy), but this is still first half. Focus needs to remain on Prince Thaav, rather than the chaos that Kiris is resolutely ignoring.
Ways to fix: continue emphasizing Kiris' blinding loyalty to Prince Thaav, and continue deleting or winnowing those bits which don't support that. Other plot points should be hinted at and set up, but not emphasized.
Excerpt length: 343
Context: It's Kiris' first night in the Turre's Tesendi fortress - his first night surrounded by legit enemies - and while working out his plan to save Prince Thaav, he gets distracted by torn-out confession journal pages, which contain the last remnants of their owners' souls.
I'll be getting around to updating the WIP intro in a short eventually, so keep an eye out.
As for taglist: since it has been a hot minute since I was last actively posting, please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed to/from the taglist. @whimsyqueen @on-noon @houndsofcorduff @stuffaboutwriting @shrunkupthejams
Kiris was sure that if he were within Prince Thaav’s quarters, he would find the old prince snoring loudly enough to shake Tesendi’s walls. As it was, he could only hear their snapping soul, see it in flickers of sunshine yellow through the haze of ryd, and imagine its warmth. He knew where they were. He didn't know about the journals’ owners. Kiris listened behind him for the guards and found them safely distributed between their chambers and the living quarters, and braced himself against his desk. The pages fluttered like slaughtered things beneath him.
Carefully, Mahehv as a fluttering, scarlet anchor, he lead the realms thinner. Beyond and before Prince Thaav: their fellow princes, servants, and guards. Walls. Turre dead—long dead. Servants like Verosa hustling about in oddly narrow halls.
Farther.
Prince Ysiik, awake. In her quarters, however, and not near Prince Thaav’s: no concern tonight. Those other Prince Thaav-irritated princes, asleep.
Farther.
Ta Ritasa in his quarters, with company. Kiris moved by swiftly.
‘L Tuola in hers, the same dead soul which covered her quiver in crystalline clarity next to her bedside. Within her bed, Kiris corrected, and then moved even faster from her. Downwards.
Aathriok’s parent, weeping on the unyielding floor of the dining hall. Weeping, pulling towards Empathy and singing of dolorous bells, tolling and crying and—
Mahehv twitched against his neck.
—farther.
The green sanctuary goddess, barely existing under the Currents’ skies. Somehow surviving. Her hunger was like cracking ice, her desperation like drums, her—
Farther.
Here.
Polarized fear.
Studies, and restraints.
His people.
When Kiris withdrew from ryd, it beat into his body and collapsed him under his desk, Prophecy pounding for release and promising relief. When he could feel Mahehv’s claws again over his own pain; when he could hear it chirping and its feathers rustling over the lives of countless people and innumerable things; when he could open his eyes and see solid outline; when he could think again, he realized by choosing not to be oblivious, he’d taken a bathtub to his ‘save Prince Thaav’ plan.
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