#fully filled with koskela art

[koskela-knights]

Lost at sea

[koskela-knights]

It's Alan Wake 2's first anniversary damn....

I played the first game back in like 2018 or 2019 for a school assignment and am familiar with Remedy through PoTF instead of the other way around (many people who got to know the band through Max Payne 2 ofc)

Honestly, I didn't expect AW 2 to become such a hyperfixation but here I still am. My creativity regarding the game has decreased significantly and so have my posts but I still think about the Koskelas almost daily lmao.

(More of a vent and lament beneath the cut lol)

But to end a positive note, AW2 did incite my creativity again. So much, that in less than a year, I've written almost as much AW fics as potf fics which spans multiple years lmao

Plus, it made me fill over 10 sketchbooks, maybe another record in my fandom eras. LIke many others in the fandom, did AW2 lift my artist's block. For that, and some friends I made along the way I'm definitely grateful.

Hopefully, there's a day my pc or my console can run AW2 properly so I can actually experience the game itself.

I briefly browsed the Alan Wake tag as AW2 was about to come out and found there wasn't much of a fandom presence as there is now.

I think I came into the (awaking lol) fandom somewhat naive? Legit thought Ilmo would be more popular and thirsted after but boy was I fucking wrong.

Sadly I cannot fully share the sentiment of other fans and their sense of a family. I've ranted and vented about it multiple times before but I felt that majorly becos of my focus on unpopular characters, I kinda fell out of the fandom boat. Besides, my art style not being interesting/pleasing or whatever it was that kept and keeps notes low. I don't create just for notes, but I wish that my Koskela love could've reached more people and there could've been more interactions with other fans but often bumped into dead ends :P And in a way it just sucks that your works specifically don't get interacted with (versus others' similar works)

Also, I couldn't help but notice Remedy's own favouritism and how they don't promote some characters, even Saga who is a dual protagonist but oh well.

After the first months of hyperfixation and overdrive in drawing art and writing fics wore off, did I start to notice that clique vibe.

In that regard, I'm trying to just focus on the handful of contacts I have with some people and cherishing those friendships instead of trying to 'break into the circle' or get noticed 😂

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