#fully believe at some point you gotta acknowledge and have the skill to know when something isnt your tastes or you arent a target audience

[martyrbat]

batman/tmnt adventures #3

[ID: Dick Grayson and Barbara Gordon in their respective costumes as they talk to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Mikey is oversharing to Robin, “Your cape is so awesome. I'm not allowed to wear one anymore. There was an incident with a blender. I don't really want to get into it.” Dick looks dejected as he says okay but Mikey continues anyway, “It got caught in there and I was sent flying around the room.” Robin tells him, “You don't really have to talk about—” but Mikey still talks, “Got pizza stainss in my favorite pair of underwear.” Robin begs Michelangelo, “Please stop.”

Meanwhile, Donnie is staring at Barbara enamoured. He tells her, “So Batgirl, I like your cape, too.” Babs bemusedly responds, “Thanks? You have a nice shell...?” Raph walks away while sarcastically commenting, “Nope. This isn't awkward on any level.” as Donnie beams at the awkward compliment! He boasts, “I was born with it. I think it really accents my—” he's cut off by Babs exclaiming in surprise at the arrival of Master Splinter! In the background, April is eyeing a befuddled looking Robin with a slight smirk. END ID]

[vickyvicarious]

Hello! I love your posts about both of the Leverage series. What role does Breanna as a Maker fulfill in the team?

First off, sorry I took so long to answer this. I was holding off until I watched all the episodes because I wanted to see how much more was or wasn't done with 'Maker' Breanna.

And the short answer is? Not much.

But the long answer... well, to sum it up, that might change pretty soon in the next part of the season, and it's actually pretty character-based that we don't see it yet. Let me explain my reasoning.

Breanna tries to sell herself as a team member like this:

Breanna: "I'm not as good a hacker as you."

Hardison: "Damn straight."

Breanna: "But hacking's kinda old-school anyway, it's like any script kiddie can do that. I'm really better with, like, the social media part. Or like, drones, physical builds, you know, like... relevant skills."

So. First off, in this scene she's clearly trying to make herself sound valuable to the team. She doesn't want to just present herself as 'Hardison, but not as good.' She acknowledges that he's a better hacker but then tries to point out her own skills that could be useful, and the 'relevant' dig is just a joke because she's nervous and also he's her sibling so she's gotta.

No one really responds, so she asks them to give her a shot, to let her in because she found them and she's earned this. Hardison, though, is still stuck on her calling him a "script kiddie":

Hardison: "S- I'm s- scrip-script who? Who you calling script kiddie?" [to Eliot, standing behind Breanna] "Bruh, script kiddie? You hear this?"

Eliot: "Hey. Head chef." [pauses, tilts his head towards Breanna] "Chopping lettuce."

I bring this up because I think it's pretty relevant to what we see from Breanna. She literally just tried to present herself as different from Hardison, to emphasize her own skills in drones and social media manipulation. But the very first thing she hears is "head chef/chopping lettuce." Without the context of Eliot and Hardison's earlier conversation about Hardison being torn between his other work (that only he can do) and needing to let go and delegate some stuff, all she's hearing here is Eliot essentially calling her the less experienced cook. Same job really, just not as good at it.

We don't see much reaction on her face to this line. But throughout the rest of the season, a recurring aspect of her characterization is that she gets frustrated or disheartened when people shut her ideas down, and she tends to be less confident in herself/hesitant about offering ideas or surprised by getting praise.

She tries to prove herself quickly in the Rollin' on the River Job by going for the pearl despite being told not to, and then gets very upset and resentful when she's confined to the van for the rest of the con. Thing is, she was trying to prove herself by demonstrating Parker skills - skills which Breanna does not have at this point.

She's also compared negatively to Hardison in I think the same episode or maybe the next one? When she finds the shell corporation and is all proud of herself and then the team just kinda goes "even Harry coulda done that." They're not mean about it, but Breanna clearly isn't going as deep into the research as they like or are used to. Similarly, Eliot complains about having to apply for a job instead of just having it given to him and changes his backstory on the fly when Breanna really isn't ready. She doesn't have all the backups built like Hardison, she isn't able to change them as fast as he can. Again, there's a scene where he left her manuals and she kinda skimmed them but failed at something that would have been explained in the manual if she'd read it all.

She showed up wanting to be an addition to the team, to fill a different role from Hardison. But he took that as the impetus to leave and do his own thing, meaning Breanna now feel like she has to fill his role. And it's not going super well at first because that's not what she's good at. Not that she's bad by any means - but the Leverage team is very used to Hardison, and they aren't slowing down enough for her, or aren't always clearly explaining what they want from her.

Also, they're planning their cons with two things in mind for her: a) her safety, and b) her doing tech. Parker tries to teach her thieving skills onscreen, and just generally be a mentor. They put Breanna in the van early on and hesitate to let her out too much until they're more confident in her skills. This isn't helped by the whole pearl fiasco, obviously, but in general, they build plans around her being with someone else guiding her at first, or her being back at base doing Hardison's old job. Partly because they see that as safer but also because that's just, what they know to plan for.

Breanna is someone who feels bad about herself pretty easily, in my opinion. She gets discouraged. Eliot's early comment and Hardison leaving was enough to push her into the reckless pearl grab to try and impress the team with her skills. When that backfires, she gets a lot less bold about protesting a plan. Part of that comes from Harry's pep talk to her, as well. He encourages her to work as part of a team with the rest of the crew. And she basically takes that and throws herself into being what she thinks they want her to be.

Now, I'm not saying she never offers any ideas of her own. But it takes a while before she's very confident doing so, and it's not until the Card Game Job (which happens to be very emotionally significant for her personally) that she really tries to argue her point. (She repurposes her Halloween decorations to help the con the episode right before, but it's not quite the same situation.) And then she's still shut down. This is partially due to Parker's own hangups about being a mentor meaning she should always be the wiser one and not have to learn from her own student, and that does change over the course of the episode. But Breanna doesn't push super hard for Parker to use her notes at first, despite clearly wanting to. However, she does grow in confidence once her relevant knowledge starts being the key to figuring out the riddle. And at the end of the episode Parker makes a point of mentioning that Breanna's a good teacher.

The very next episode, she brings a drone to a job.

Now, sadly poor little Frodo the drone is killed basically instantly, but that timing seems pretty telling to me. The other incredibly important thing that happens that episode, is that Breanna opens up, at first to Eliot, and then to the rest of the team (minus Harry), about her past and her regrets and mistakes.

We never actually learn what those are, because the team tells her it doesn't actually matter to them. Eliot tells her directly that they don't need her to be Hardison. Parker goes a step further and says "All we need from you is to be exactly the person you are."

And I think that is the key. Breanna was trying really, really hard to show them that she's a worthwhile member of the team. She was trying to live up to their perceived expectations of her, trying to fill Hardison's shoes. And because they aren't familiar with any other skills of hers/don't often work with things like social media and drones, they don't make plans for those. Breanna needs to take the initiative to offer her own skills and ideas, because unlike Nate in the original show, Parker and Sophie don't have the same knowledge of everything Breanna is capable of. They put her in plans in ways they knew she'd be safe, and doing things they expected she could do. And it wasn't exactly wrong of them, but it didn't give her the opportunity to bring many of her own unique skills to the table.

Now, the Double-Edged Sword Job (where they tell her all this) is the second-to-last episode, and the finale is entirely focused on Sophie and the ghost of Nate. Breanna plays a relatively small role in that one, so we don't see instant payoff from this conversation. But I do believe that, now she's no longer carrying the yoke of 'being Hardison', we will see her feeling more confident in offering up her own skills. We will see them succeeded and her own ideas and techniques becoming something the rest of the team learns how to account for in planning cons.

The two things Breanna brags about at the beginning are social media and drones/physical builds. As of yet, we've seen her utilize social media once (to throw the rave in her first episode - when Hardison was still there), and a drone once (the episode after her knowledge was key to the con succeeding). The drone didn't work that time, but I hope to see more, and see more clever applications of whatever "social media manipulation" and "physical builds" even means, in the second half of the season.

(Granted, Hardison never fit fully into a box of just hacking in the first place, and I'm sure there will still be a lot of overlap with Breanna being the primary tech person, but I'm excited for more variety as well.)

[free--therapy]

Dealing with Change on a Personal Level

"Change is hard because people overestimate the value of what they have—and underestimate the value of what they may gain by giving that up."

– James Belasco and Ralph Stayer

Change is a scary thing for all of us. We get used to things being one way and have a hard time readjusting to things when they change for us unexpectedly. Unfortunately however, change is inevitable and unavoidable in life and it's up to us to adapt to the changes we have to endure. Change is one of those uncontrollable things that we wish wouldn't have to happen, but it's a lot easier to control how we react to the changes in our life, rather than trying to control the changes from happening themselves. 

When it comes to being able to control ourselves though, it will likely include having to make personal changes that we may not like or feel comfortable with, but will likely have more of a positive impact in the long run than stressing ourselves over something we have no control over. Short-term pain for long-term gain. But how do we go about making these personal changes?

Stages of Change

Pre-Contemplation

While in this stage, we are usually not thinking seriously about trying to change anything and are not interested in having anyone help us out either. We tend to defend our current habits, even if we know they’re not good for us because it doesn’t really feel like a problem...yet. We can get defensive whenever someone tries to suggest we need to change, even if they’re being kind and loving towards us (it’s hard to tell someone we love that they need to change something about themselves!) We don’t focus our attention on quitting these habits and end up not even wanting to tell anyone about them because we know people will likely judge or criticize us and tell us we need to change. Usually in this stage, we are in denial of our problems or think we have the ability to fix them whenever we want to. Do you think you might be currently in this stage? Likely not if we are interested in understanding how change works, we’re looking to seek help, and are starting to wonder how we can implement the changes we know we need in our lives towards habits, problems, or behaviors we have that we know needs fixing. However, perhaps we were all at this stage at one point in our lives.

Contemplation

This is the stage where we are aware that we have problems that need fixing, and that there are personal consequences for them. We know we have a problem, we may spend a lot of time working towards acknowledging and accepting that we need help and need fixing, but we’re struggling with ambivalence towards making that leap. We tend to weigh out the pros and cons of starting to make a change by either quitting these habits or changing our behavior. Even though we weigh out the negatives of staying the way that we are and the positives of changing to become something better, we experience a lot of doubt that there’ll be any positive outcomes in the long run because we have to deal with some short-term pains or losses. It becomes hard to see how going through short-term pain could possibly lead to long-term gain and a lot of us believe and try to convince ourselves that we can’t see ourselves getting better or not believing that we can overcome the battle ahead of us. We fear failure before even trying.

It may take anywhere between a few weeks to a lifetime to get out of this phase though. It’s all about taking that leap of faith towards recovery and doing everything we can to make sure we make it out on the other side. Thankfully though, we are usually more open to learning more information about our bad habits and prefer to use educational interventions and self-reflection on how we feel concerning our bad habits, and eventually we make the leap! The idea is to hype ourselves up enough to take the plunge towards recovery (trust me, it’s so worth it!)

Preparation

This is also known as the Determination stage, and this is where we start making a commitment to change. Our motivation for changing can sound like telling ourselves, “Something’s gotta change!”, “I’ve got to do something about this.”, “This is serious, what can I do?” This stage becomes a “research” stage where we are now starting to explore all the small steps we can take towards helping ourselves and our problems. This is when we either seek help be it from other people, online research, find a mental health professional, read self-help books, go onto online forums, support groups, watch videos, and so on so we can hear from others as to how they embarked on their journey towards changing their lives. 

This is a phase that shouldn’t be skipped however, but a lot of people tend to. Without getting the user manual and the tools needed, how will we know how to put something together? Education is important so we may gain the knowledge to make the change that we want for ourselves instead of falling flat on our face. When we attempt to do something without having all the tools at hand, we usually end up giving up on ever wanting to try again because we failed to realized we were not well-equipped to do so in the first place. The journey to healing and recovery is a long and rewarding one, requires a lot of self-patience, -love, and -compassion, but we have to make sure we’re fully aware of the commitment we have to make in order to commence.

Action

Also known as the Willpower stage, this is the stage where we believe we have the ability to change our behavior and are now taking the right steps to begin that change with a variety of techniques and skills we have learned from our preparation stage. This is considered to be the shortest stage of them all since the amount of time we spend in this stage can vary. It can be anywhere from 6 months, 1 hour, 2 weeks, etc. It’s a stage where we are expected to rely on our willpower. We end up making overt efforts to quit or change our behaviors and habits, and this is when we are most susceptible for relapsing.

We will have to mentally review our commitment to ourselves and try to develop plans to deal with internal and external pressures or temptations that can lead us down a slippery slope. We’ll use things like short-term rewards to help maintain motivation, we may analyze our behavior change efforts to enhance our self-confidence, and so forth. This is also where we are most open to receive help and support from others who are going through a similar thing, which is vital to our recovery journey. It helps to know we’re not the only ones going through what we’re going through and to seek out other people that have a lot of invaluable advice to offer to keep us motivated as well.

Maintenance

This stage is definitely where the work needs to last for the longest amount of time as it involves being able to successfully avoid temptations and pressure to return to our bad habits or behaviors. The goal is to maintain the new circumstances we’ve worked so hard to implement in the first place. We will have to continuously remind ourselves of the progress we’ve made. We also have to find new ways to reformulate the rules of our lives by either acquiring new skills or learning more about our behavior and psychology to deal with temptations in order to avoid relapsing. We will get to a point where we’re able to anticipate the situations in which a relapse could happen and prepare healthy coping skills in advance to deal with them if we end up slipping.

We have to remain aware that what we strive for is worthwhile to us on a personal level and has meaning. We have to learn to be patient and kind to ourselves, and recognize that it will take a while to let go of old behaviors and habits. We will have to come to an understanding that we need to continuously practice our new skills until they become as habitual as our old and negative ones were. Even though we may have thoughts of wanting to return to the old way of doing things because they feel comfortable and familiar, we will have to resist doing so and stay on track.

As we progress through our stages of changing, it’s helpful to always re-evaluate our progress as we move through each stage. It’s important for us to remember that it’s normal and natural to regress. Healing and recovery are not linear and some days we’ll have moments where we feel like we’ve gone back in our progress, but it’s not out of the ordinary. We need to be forgiving towards ourselves, being our cheerleader. At the end of the day, it’s up to us to make the changes we want for ourselves.

Relapse

Although this is everyone’s fear when it comes to recovery and making changes, it is not uncommon for anyone to relapse on their journey. It is a lot more common to have at least 1 relapse than to have none while on the road to healing, so we should take solace in knowing this because no one is perfect. Relapse is often accompanied by feelings of shame and discouragement because we believe we are failures and will never get better. While it is definitely a discouraging thing to go through, it’s important to note that there is always a positive way to look at failure. The majority of people who have been on the journey to healing will even tell you that it is not a straight path. There is always something to be learned from our moments of failure and it’s up to us to change our mindsets to see where we went wrong in order to avoid making the same mistake again. These people cycle through the 5 stages several times before being able to achieve a stable lifestyle change and it should be encouraging to know this. The Stages of Change diagram above considers relapsing to be a normal part of recovery. It’s up to us at the end of the day to be determined to pick ourselves up again when we fall and get back on that horse.

There is definitely a real risk that people who end up relapsing will experience an immediate sense of failure that ends up undermining their self-confidence. Remember that relapsing doesn’t have to be seen as failure since those habits have been so engrained in our minds that we can easily end up back there. We have to make sure that we encourage ourselves as well as others to see where we went wrong, where we were experiencing that moment of weakness, and how we can use it as an opportunity to learn how to cope differently and in a healthier way, strengthening those weaknesses. Relapses are important opportunities to learn and become stronger. We have to make sure that we don’t end up back in the Pre-Contemplation or Contemplation stages when this does happen, but rather restart back at Preparation, Action, or even the Maintenance stage.

With those who have relapsed, they will need to learn how to anticipate any high-risk situation that could possibly enable them to relapse more effectively, and control any external cues or environments that will tempt them to re-engage in those behaviors they’re trying to recover from. Doing so will give us a stronger sense of self-control on top of having the ability to get back on track.

Transcendence

This is the goal of where we all want to be. Eventually we will end up reaching a point where we’ll be able to regulate our emotions and understand our behavior/psychology in a way to see it in a new light. This is when our bad habits or behaviors no longer are integral to our life, along with knowing that returning back to that lifestyle would be seen as weird or abnormal to us. When we reach this stage in our process of changing, we will know that we have now transcended the old habit/behavior and that we are becoming a new person that no longer needs our old unhealthy coping mechanisms, skills, or behaviors to sustain us anymore. We have become successful in making that change we set out to do in the first place and know that if we can accomplish it for one thing, we can accomplish it for just about anything!

[pines-troz]

Weekend With The Warners: Chapter Eight

Summary: When the CEO assigns Pinky and The Brain with the important task of watching over the Warners for the weekend, Brain is prepared for any antics that the children have in store. What he didn’t take into account was forming a familial bond with the kids.

Warning: The last third of this chapter includes animal testing (albeit not a graphic depiction) as well as PTSD and trauma.

Word Count: 11,403

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27849962/chapters/75446471

Before the break of dawn, Brain awoke from his slumber to find his left arm trapped underneath his slumbering partner. The mouse prided himself on being the big spoon, there were moments where he preferred to be the little spoon. He loved feeling the warmth from Pinky's soft fur while contentedly nestling in the taller mouse's affectionate embrace. Try as he might, Brain could never fully achieve success as the big spoon. While he tried his hardest to assert his protective nature when he wrapped his arms around his tall partner, he always felt like a little backpack.

Brain snaked his left arm, which fell numb from supporting Pinky's weight. Feeling an itch underneath his chin, he took his right hand to ameliorate the situation only to feel the scruffy grey hairs growing from his ivory fur. The mouse groaned in irritation. He was going to take Pinky and the Warners out for an exquisite brunch at an upscale restaurant and he needed to clean up if he wanted to blend in with the other patrons. Well, about as much as a small laboratory mouse escorting three toon children of indeterminate species could.

Not wanting to wake Pinky up, Brain carefully snuck out of bed and trotted over to the bathroom to shave. However, the mouse didn't take into account that only two of the Warners were still snoozing in the other bed.

When Brain opened up the bathroom door, he was shocked to find a most horrifying sight.

"Oh, dear God!" The small mouse shouted as he stared at Yakko, still dressed in his pajamas, setting up a guillotine while happily humming the tune to 'Yakko's World'.

"What, in the name of Socrates's tainted tongs, are you doing with that guillotine?" Brain demanded.

"Oh, this old thing" Yakko mentioned, pointing a thumb at the execution device. "Well, I'm in a little bit of a dilemma. This morning I woke up to find little hairs growing around my face." The teen explained. Taking out a magnifying glass from his hammerspace, he leaned towards Brain to show him the few, practically microscopic black hairs that sprouted around his face. "So naturally, I figured that I shave off those pesky facial hairs before going out for brunch."

Brain smacked his paw against his giant head. "Yakko, I admire your eagerness, but a guillotine is not considered to be a proper tool for shaving." The mouse headed over towards the execution device, which was supported by small black wheels, and pushed it as hard as his little mouse body would allow. "Perhaps we should set aside this device for more serious matters, like dealing with corrupt politicians or heartless billionaires." He explained as he pushed the guillotine out of the bathroom, which then disappeared upon crashing into the wall.

"Well, then how else am I gonna shave." Yakko inquired impatiently.

"With a razor, Robespierre," Brain sarcastically answered.

"Oh, I gotcha!" Yakko acknowledged with a grin. The teen reached into his hammerspace once more and retrieved an old Motorola Razr model flip phone.

Brain frowned indignantly with furrowed brows. "Now you're just teasing me." Yakko flashed a playful smile in response.

"Allow me to assist you in the proper etiquette of shaving." The pudgy mouse remarked as he took the tape measure elevator up to the counter. "There should be some shaving cream, exfoliator scrub, after-shave cream, and a couple of disposable razors in the drawer."

"Since when do mice grow facial hair anyway?" Yakko asked.

"A strange inquiry coming from the boy who summoned a guillotine out of thin air." Brain responded in a sardonic tone. "No, it's impossible for the average mouse to grow facial hair. I believe that this is yet another side effect of having gone through the gene splicer, in addition to having an increased life span and the ability to take in a comical amount of pain."

"Now go fetch me the necessary tools from the drawer." Brain firmly commanded. "There should be some shaving cream, exfoliator scrub, a couple of disposable razors, and a bottle of after-shave."

Yakko opened up the drawer and saw two navy blue razors covered with a plastic shield and a blue bottle of shaving cream. "You mean these things?" The teen inquired as he held them up.

"Yes, Yakko," Brain answered as he headed towards the sink faucet. With tiny paws, he lifted the rod and turned on the handles. He looked over at Yakko, who began to shake the bottle of shaving cream. Just as he started to dispense some of the creams, Brain approached the teen.

"Now let's not get too excited with the shaving cream. You must first wash your face." The mouse explained. Once the sink was filled with an appropriate amount of water, he turned it off. Cupping his hands, Brain dipped them into the warm water and spread them across his face. "The warm water will relax your skin and make it more receptive to the razor and less prone to razor bumps."

Yakko copied Brain's instructions. But then his playful side kicked in when he dunked his gloved hands into the sink and flicked a few droplets of water onto Brain. The mouse flinched the moment he was assaulted by the sink water.

"Yakko," Brain grumbled.

"Sorry, teach!" Yakko playfully apologized.

For the next five minutes, Brain continued to teach Yakko the proper shaving etiquette. While the teen got a little overboard with applying too much shaving cream, he managed to do a decent job with his first go at shaving. Brain was thankful that Yakko didn't do anything remotely crazy while using the disposable razor. After they rinsed off with cold water, Brain taught the teen how to apply the after-shave.

Once the little impromptu shaving lesson was complete, Yakko admired his clean-shaven face, feeling like a million bucks. Brain smiled at his eager pupil. "Well, I commend you for your quick learning." The big-headed mouse complimented.

"Thanks, Brain," Yakko replied. "Though, I gotta ask you something, who taught you how to shave anyway?"

"I taught myself," Brain answered. "I learned most, if not all, of the important life skills all on my own and without any assistance."

The room grew silent. Yakko stared at the mouse with a concerned expression. Brain seldom brought up his life as a laboratory mouse. "So no one taught you anything?"

Brain only shook his head. "I was only a young child when scientists separated me from my family and home in the wilderness to be incarcerated at Acme Labs."

Yakko instinctively rubbed the back of his head, feeling a pang of empathy for the mouse. He knew what it was like to be self-reliant at a young age, but he never had any loving paternal figures before he was locked away at the tower alongside his younger siblings. Even still, the teen was curious about Brain's youth and carefully crafted his question before speaking up.

"Do you remember anything about your parents?"

Brain's eyes widened at the eldest Warner's inquiry. It was an innocent question born from genuine interest and curiosity. So the mouse decided to provide a satisfactory answer. "My memories of my early childhood are fairly hazy, but there are aspects of it I distinctly remember. The warmth of my parents' fur whenever they embraced me, their ruby red eyes that glimmered in the sun, the richness of my mother's milk, and the nights spent snuggling close to them as we slumbered in our tin-can home."

Yakko noticed the sad smile on Brain's face as he reminisced of his early youth. The teen couldn't imagine how horrifying it must be to be permanently separated from his family. "And you never saw them again?"

Brain looked at the eldest Warner. "Well I did encounter my parents years later, but the reunion was not as joyful as it could have been."

"What happened?" Yakko asked.

"Let's just say that they don't necessarily approve of my life choices, save for having Pinky as my roommate." Brain answered flatly.

"Ah," Yakko noted. The teen felt sorry for the mouse and tried his best to provide some consolation. "Well, at least you got to see your parents again,"

"Yes," Brain muttered, casting his eyes down on the countertop.

Yakko sadly frowned, noting that his words of comfort didn't do the trick. He drummed his fingers on the countertop. There was something else that Yakko needed to get off his chest, but he didn't know how well to articulate it. "Well, you're not the only one who had to learn everything on their own."

Brain looked up at the eldest Warner. The mouse thought back to the early days of his acting gig on Animaniacs, and the various stories he heard about the three troublesome toon siblings who were locked up by the studio for over sixty years because they were too much to handle. When he first heard of these tales, the mouse was initially intimidated by the toon children due to the sheer chaos they possessed. But as he and Pinky got to know their co-stars, Brain's fears melted away, and as he pondered over their backstory, he became sympathetic to their plight. He couldn't begin to imagine the difficulties the children faced of being isolated in a water tower for so long. This hardship must have been harrowing for poor Yakko, who had to learn everything on his own on top of having to care for his two younger siblings.

Brain rubbed his left arm up and down. "I guess so," he said softly. As much as the mouse wanted to ask questions about the teen's upbringing, he couldn't bring himself to do so. Instead, he wanted to reassure the boy.

Brain looked up at Yakko and carefully approached his hand, which was leaning on the countertop. "I am well aware of the unfair circumstances that forced you to become the sole caregiver of your dear siblings," he gingerly addressed. "And while you have done a tremendous job, you should not have to be the only one providing for your family."

Yakko was stunned by what he was hearing. He gave an astonished look at the mouse, who placed his firm, yet gentle paws over his hand.

Brain stared up at the eldest Warner with a steadfast expression on his face. "I don't know what it's like to be an older sibling, but I recognize the responsibility that comes with taking care of the ones you love."

Yakko didn't have to be a rocket scientist to realize that Brain was referring to his dearest Pinky. Ever since he first met them in the early nineties, the mice were as close as can be and were always seen together whenever they went about in the studio lot. Much like how he was always with his siblings whenever they caused playful pandemonium.

"And if you need any help, you can always call upon myself and Pinky." Brain solemnly offered. "We're more than happy to assist you in any way if you so choose."

Yakko was surprised to hear such a suggestion coming from Brain. Wakko and Dot were already enamored with the idea of having mouse parents, and the mice were willing to step up to the plate. Perhaps he no longer had to bear the solitary responsibility of taking proper care of his siblings. What's more, the constant attention he would receive from two guardians was another enticing aspect of the deal.

"Well Brain, I just might take your offer into consideration!" He responded with an eager smile. The teen carefully scooped the big-headed mouse into his hands.

Brain allowed a small smile to cross his lips. He was finally getting through to the boy!

"And Brain," Yakko spoke up. "I forgot to tell you this earlier, but I wanna thank you for helping Wakko find his drawing from the library."

The mouse's ears perked upwards at the grateful tone.

"It made my sib's day and I'm grateful that you went the extra mile for them," Yakko explained with a smile.

At that moment, Brain was speechless. What he once saw as another wacky situation was seen as a genuine act of kindness. "You're welcome." He quietly replied.

The sudden noise of bouncing bed springs followed by jovial laughter reached their ears. Brain and Yakko emerged from the bathroom to find Wakko and Dot playfully wrestling on the bed while Pinky cheered on, thrusting his purple pom-poms into the air.

"Alright, that's enough roughhousing children!" Brain alerted the two Warners in a slightly strict tone before turning his attention towards his partner. "And quit enabling their shenanigans, Pinky!"

"Oops, sorry Brain," Pinky quickly apologized with a hint of regret in his tone.

Brain leaped off of Yakko's hands and landed on top of the mattress. "Now, I'm taking you all out for breakfast and I want you all to dress to impress!"

-                     -                        -                             -                            -

The group was seated at the round table at the nearest upscale restaurant, happily enjoying their brunch. Everyone dressed their best for the special meal. Pinky wore a flowy strawberry-printed dress, Brain wore a purple blazer and matching skater skirt, a black turtleneck sweater, and a gold chain necklace. Yakko wore a billowy puffy white shirt with rainbow suspenders attached to his brown slacks, Wakko wore a red-and-black plaid kilt in addition to their blue sweater, and Dot wore a red T-shirt and blue overalls with a small rainbow across the front.

Everything was running smoothly during their brunch. Brain indulged himself and Pinky in the finest dishes on the menu. The Warners even made the effort to be zany to a moderate degree. They all engaged in playful conversation. Brain looked over to see how happy Yakko was, laughing with his siblings. Some of the other patrons looked at the toon children with a mix of fear or disgust, but Brain didn't care. As long as they were happy, then he was happy.

While they waited for the check to come in, Brain took a spoon and gently tapped it on the side of his glass of water. "Attention!" He called out.

The Warners and Pinky turned their attention towards the big-headed mouse. Wakko was especially excited. "Are we gonna bust into an elaborate musical number?" He asked, taking out a pair of drumsticks from their hammerspace.

"That won't be necessary, Wakko." Brain addressed. "Now, since our day is winding down, I have one more important activity for us to engage in after we check out of the hotel and bring your luggage back to the studio lot."

"Are we gonna help you take over the world?!" Dot asked excitedly.

"A valid guess, but no." Brain answered though he was pleased to hear the Warner sister's suggestion come off as genuine. "Instead, we shall spend the afternoon at the park!"

"Poit! We'll play all sorts of games, like frisbee, and flying kites, and pet any doggies that walk by!" Pinky joyfully added.

The Warners exchanged eager glances at each other. "And if we're lucky, we can drop by the Wheel of Morality!" Yakko suggested.

"Egad, that sounds fun-fun, silly-willy!" Pinky cheered.

The waitress approached the table and handed Brain the black flipbook that contained the check. The mouse thanked the waitress and proceeded to inspect the check. The expensive brunch totaled two-hundred and fifty dollars and twenty-four cents. He was grateful that the studio would be paying for this extravagant expense. Without a word, Brain retrieved the golden credit card and placed it in the folder, slapped the flipbook shut, and returned it to the waitress.

Despite the wacky antics, he endured all weekend long, he was thankful to have his fine-dining experience.

-                     -                        -                             -                            -

A blue Uber van pulled up at the front of the Warner Bros. Studio lot. Once the side door opened, the Warners and the mice quickly emerged from the vehicle with their luggage in tow. Brain piloted his mechanical human suit once again, grabbing some of the suitcases. He was thankful that the process of checking out of the hotel and commuting back to Burbank went off without a hitch. Once the van sped off, the group looked up at the studio lot.

"Home again, home again," Yakko blissfully sighed.

"Unfortunately, the CEO doesn't want any of us to set foot in the lot until sunset." Brain advised the Warners. "Why don't I fly over to the water tower and drop off your belongings there before we head to the park."

The Warners happily agreed, giving the mouse the rest of their luggage. "Pinky and I will be back in a minute, so don't do anything rash while we're gone."

"We weren't planning on it, since neither of us has any ointment," Wakko replied.

"And remember, the door's a pull, not a push!" Yakko quickly added.

"Duly noted," Brain acknowledged as he started his engines. The jet boosters in his shoes ignited and the suit was launched into the air.

Dot's eyes widened with excitement as she felt her hair and skirt blow through from the suit's jet engines. She remembered the excitement on Wakko's face when he gushed over how fun it was to ride on Brain's suit. Not wanting to be left out, the Warner sister wanted a piece of the action.

The girl reached into her hammerspace and took out a megaphone. "Hey Brain, I just remembered that I forgot something in the water tower and I need to go get it."

The mice heard her request. Brain yanked the controls, turning the suit around to retrieve the Warner sister.

Dot bounced in excitement when she saw the suit fly down.

But Yakko grew suspicious of his sister. "Do you even need to go back to the water tower?"

"No," Dot casually admitted with a confident smile.

But before any of her siblings could react, Dot was swept off of her feet and carefully secured in Brain's mechanical arms. The task of balancing the Warner sister and the various suitcases proved to be a challenge, but not an impossible feat. After shifting his position, he found a satisfactory position and maintained his steadiness over the controls.

The first thing she felt was the wind flowing through her fur. She then glanced down at the various buildings in the studio, admiring the aerial perspective of her beloved abode.

Dot's eyes widened as she observed the movie lot from above. "Woah,"

"Isn't it so much fun!" Pinky exclaimed from the comfort of the coat pocket.

"The greatest!" She eagerly replied.

Brain allowed a small smirk as he listened to their conversation.

But the fun didn't last long when Brain shifted the controls of his suit just before they arrived at the water tower. With a hard tug, he managed to stop the suit before it could collide with the water tower door. He carefully placed Dot down on the steps first before proceeding to drop the luggage.

Dot opened up the Warner Bros. logo door open, gesturing the mice to enter. She swiftly turned on the light switch, illuminating her humble home. The interior of the water tower was in a somewhat pristine state, ignoring the crumpled up bags of potato chips and napkins scattered across the floor.

Pinky hopped out from the pocket and landed on the floor with a thud. Laughing off the pain, he got up and explored the interior of the water tower. "Poit! A lot has changed since the last time we were up in the water tower." He observed.

"Yup," Dot agreed. "My siblings and I made some adjustments to keep up with the times."

The mice looked at the three bunk beds stacked on top of each other. But Brain wore a frown when he noticed Yakko's bed was merely a ball pit.

"Is that supposed to be Yakko's bed?" Brain addressed, pointing the suit's hand over to the ball pit.

Dot hummed and nodded in response. The smaller mouse rolled his eyes. "I bet his chiropractor is having a field day."

His eyes then darted over to a few books scattered near the bunk beds. There were a few amoral paperback romance novels that must have belonged to Yakko. But among the myriad of inappropriate literature laid the cover of a particular picture book that featured a colorful red and green caterpillar. The innocent-looking bug caught Brain's attention and he gingerly picked up the book. As he inspected the book cover, his mind began to flashback to the early years of his acting career.

Warner Movie Lot, 1992

Pinky skipped gaily, tugging Brain by his wrist as he led his roommate over to the iconic yellow and red water tower that lay in the heart of the movie studio. Brain stared up at the tower, trying his best to conceal his fear of the Warner siblings.

The mice just started their work as actors after a plan to take over the world gone wrong had serendipitously landed them starring roles in an upcoming variety show called Animaniacs, which was set to air the following year. Brain intended to use this opportunity of acting in a prestigious television program to gain the admiration of the masses who would pledge their unyielding loyalty to him as Earth's leader. However, the megalomaniacal mouse rarely interacted with the other co-stars and crew members. His years in the lab instilled a distrust towards humans that was hard to shake off, and he mostly kept to himself. But Pinky seemed to be living his best life on the set. Always chatting with the cast and crew members and charming them with his cheerful disposition.

While on the set, Brain heard numerous horror stories from various crew members about the three toon children who recently escaped from the water tower and caused all sorts of chaos all over the movie lot. And it just so happened that one of Pinky's newfound friends was the Warner sister, Dot.

She initially invited Pinky over to the water tower to play dress-up, but the obtuse mouse insisted that he bring along Brain as well, and the girl was not opposed to having an extra guest in her home.

The mice arrived at the bottom of the water tower. Brain stared up at the yellow and red water tank, calculating how he and Pinky could reach the top. He regretted not bringing his human suit along for the playdate. But before he could come up with a plan, the water tank began to descend as if it was an elevator. Once the tank hit the ground, the Warner Bros. shield opened to reveal Wakko and Dot wearing admittedly adorable bellboy uniforms. Pinky clapped his hands and hopped on each foot upon seeing two of the Warners siblings.

"Going up?" Wakko inquired.

"What other option do I have?" Brain dryly remarked as he followed Pinky through the door. Once the mice entered the water tower, Dot slammed the door shut and Wakko pulled the lever, causing the water tank to ascend back to its original place.

Wakko and Dot swiftly took off their uniforms to reveal their regular attire; Wakko dressed in their signature oversized blue sweater and backward red cap while Dot wore her pink skirt and yellow flower hair tie.

The Warner sister approached Pinky and scooped him up into her hands. "Oh, it's so good to see you again!" She chirped as she twirled around, causing the lanky mouse to laugh heartily.

"Thank you for inviting Brain and me over to your house. Narf!" Pinky exclaimed. "Oh, I know we're going to all have a fun-fun, silly-willy time together!"

"I should show you my new playhouse and all the doll clothes I recently bought!" Dot suggested.

"Oh, that sounds like tons of fun!" Pinky merrily replied.

Brain looked over at the two with a raised brow. While he was secretly glad that Pinky was occupied in his own inane activities, he was at a loss of what to do. He was stuck in the infamous water tower and had to endure the chaos of the Warners for who knows how long.

But his ponderings ceased the moment he was scooped up in the hands of the middle Warner sibling. He looked over at Wakko, who must have sensed his loneliness from being excluded from Pinky and Dot's antics.

"Can we hang out together?" Wakko asked with twinkling eyes.

Brain glanced at Wakko and didn't know what to make of the young toon. After listening to the various stories about him, he was the most chaotic and violent of the trio, always quick to whack people with a mallet or any other cartoonish weapons at their disposal. The mouse decided that it would be best to appease the middle child in the hopes of forging a solid acquaintance so that he would not face their wrath.

"I would be delighted to accompany you in whatever activities you have in store." Brain answered with a nervous smile.

"Great!" Wakko cheered, leaping from the floor while holding Brain in their grasp. He bounced over to the couch.

"We could share my snacks and read my favorite story of all time!" Wakko said as he placed the mouse on the sofa before bounding over to the refrigerator. Only seconds have passed when he returned to the couch with a whole platter of different snacks: bags of chips, bananas, different types of cheeses, pudding, and cookies.

Brain stared at the small buffet laid out on the coffee table before looking back at Wakko, who reached into their red cap and took out The Hungry Caterpillar and gave it to him.

The small mouse inspected the cover of the book before glancing back at the snacks and over to Wakko. "Well, I can understand your enthusiasm over this particular book."

"I have never related to any character as much as that caterpillar." Wakko declared with a nod.

"I see," Brain muttered. "Well, to make this activity more interesting, why don't we take turns reading."

"Sounds fun!" Wakko agreed.

For the next five minutes, Brain and Wakko read aloud the story about a caterpillar with an enormous appetite who then turned into a beautiful butterfly. As they took turns reading, Brain noticed the glimmer of joy in Wakko's eyes as he observed the colorful illustrations. Perhaps the young toon was not as bad as he thought and was unfairly mischaracterized by the other studio workers. Once they were finished with the story, they heard the door open. The two glanced over to see Yakko Warner entering the water tower.

Once the eldest Warner shut the door behind him, he glanced around his abode to see his siblings interacting with their co-stars and, presumably, friends. WIth Wakko sitting with Brain and Dot dressing Pinky up in a pink flower hat and purple sunglasses.

"Oh, I didn't know we had company over!" He exclaimed as he gazed at the mice.

Wakko bounced off from the couch and landed in their brother's arms. "Big brother, you've come home!"

Yakko laughed as he carefully placed Wakko back on the ground. "I was busy filming an important song segment about the countries of the world."

"A song about countries? That'll never catch on." Wakko disagreed, giving their older brother a shove.

"Oh, we'll see about that, baby sib." Yakko playfully ruffled Wakko's cap.

"Yakko!" Dot exclaimed, tackling her older brother in a surprise hug.

"Hey, sis!" Yakko replied as he hugged her back. He then glanced over at the two mice: The lanky mouse that wore a purple scarf and the big-headed mouse that was on the couch. "And who else do we have here?"

"Our new co-stars and our new friends," Wakko answered confidently.

Yakko's eyes lit up when he figured out who they were. "Oh yeah, Binky and the Pain, is it?"

"Actually, we're Pinky and The Brain!" Brain corrected as he hopped off the couch and trotted over to the siblings. "But rest assured, Sakko, we're not only your co-stars and acquaintances, but we're the future world leaders-"

"Actually, it's Yakko." The eldest Warner corrected with a pointed hand.

"Right, and now you know how it feels to have your name mispronounced." Brain curtly acknowledged.

"Eh, fair enough." Yakko shrugged in agreement.

"So, now that we're all here, what should we do next?" Dot asked excitedly.

Wakko looked over at the mice and smiled. "Could you guys take us to McDonald's?" He asked.

"What?" Brain sputtered. "Pinky and I don't have enough money to pay for such frivolities, and our next paycheck won't come in until Friday!"

"Oh, there's no need to worry about that, I've got ya covered!" Yakko assured as he took out a brown sack full of money from his hammerspace. "Scratchy is already busy with his patients and we need someone to take us out for some fast food!"

Dot approached the mouse, batting her glowing black eyes and wearing the most adorable pout. "Oh, pretty please Brain!" She pleaded in a cutesy voice.

Brain crossed his arms and frowned, refusing to cave into Dot's powerful cuteness. "Pinky and I have important work to do soon back at the lab!"

"Like watching the latest episode of Seinfeld?" Pinky asked.

"No, Pinky. Our plans for global conquest!" Brain curtly replied.

"But you can't take over the world on an empty stomach!" Wakko argued.

"Ugh, I'd rather consume my hat than McDonald's," Brain sourly remarked.

Yakko carefully inspected Brain with the intention of breaking down the mouse's barriers until he gave in. He tapped his siblings' shoulders and grinned mischievously and began to chant. "McDonald's! McDonald's!"

Soon Wakko and Dot joined their brother in the chanting. "McDonald's! McDonald's! McDonald's!

Brain's eye twitched at the incessant shouts. The Warners began to circle around the mouse. The moment Pinky joined the toon siblings in their parade, that was the final straw. Brain raised his fists and the air and shouted. "Oh, all right! Pinky and I will take you out for some cheap fast food!"

The Warners bounced around the mice in jubilation. While Pinky eagerly clapped, Brain pouted as he bitterly crossed his arms once more.

"Don't be so glum, Brain!" Wakko said in earnest as he picked the grumpy mouse up. "Maybe some happy meals will cheer you up!" He explained while placing the mouse on top of their head.

"Ready to go, sibs and mouse friends!" Yakko asked excitedly.

"Ready!" Dot chirped as she scooped Pinky up in her hands and placed him on top of her head.

"Ready!" Wakko added with a thumbs up.

"Affirmative." Brain tiredly sighed, gripping his paws on the red hat.

"Narf!" Pinky called out.

"I'll take that as a yes," Yakko mentioned. "Now let's roll!"

Yakko opened up the door, hopped on the railing, and leaped off. Wakko and Dot followed suit as they jumped off the water tower to catch up with their big brother. Pinky cheered while Brain let out an anxious "nyaaaah" as they made their descent. Fortunately, the Warners bounced upon the concrete ground with great nimbleness.

"Boingy! Boingy! Boingy!" The Warners chorused as they bounced around the movie lot. Both mice grabbed onto their respective toon siblings as they moseyed about.

On their trail, they passed by Slappy Squirrel, who walked in the opposite direction whilst carrying her green purse. The veteran toon star smirked as she waved at the three children and the two lab mice. "Have fun, you crazy kids." She called out.

As the Warners continued on their merry way, the loud shriek of the officer's whistle shattered their merriment. They looked over to see Ralph the security guard, running up to them as fast as he could with a comically large net.

"Yikes!" The Warners shouted. Revving up their legs, they made a mad dash out of the studio, carrying the mice along with them.

"Alright children, we better make this trip to McDonald's a quick one. For Pinky and I must return to the lab by seven."

"Why Brain?" Wakko asked. "What are you and Pinky doing at seven?"

"The same thing we do every night, Wakko," the mouse grimly replied. "Try to take over the world!"

"Hey, Brain!" The Warner sister sang while snapping her fingers. "Earth to Brain, you come in?"

The mouse shook his head as he looked over at Dot, who cradled Pinky in her hands. His perception of her and her siblings has drastically changed over the years. His fear of the toon children's playful and unpredictable nature was replaced with endearment. Brain regained his focus and returned to the present. "My apologies dear, I was just reminiscing."

"Totally understandable," Dot replied with a warm smile.

The mouse placed the picture book back on top of the pile and approached the Warner sister.

"So did you find all the things you were looking for?" Brain inquired.

"Actually, I lied to you. I only said that just so I could get a ride on your mechanical human suit." Dot confessed without a twinge of regret. "Are you ready to head over to the park?"

"Yes, always." Brain replied flatly as he exited the water tower. After Dot closed the door, he picked her back up, with Pinky in tow, and they flew off.

Back at the studio entrance, Yakko and Wakko were in a heated game of checkers when they heard the loud jet engines purring up above. Brain descended from the air, landing on the sidewalk on the suit's two feet.

"Thanks for the lift, Brain!" Dot chirped as she hopped off from the suit and passed Pinky back to the big-headed mouse, who securely tucked him in the front pocket.

"So, how about we head over to the park for some wholesome fun and merriment?" Brain asked with a wave of his mechanical arm.

Yakko, Wakko, and Dot cheered as they bounced around the suit. With a resounding yes from the siblings, they started to make their way over to the park.

Dot approached Yakko. "Can you give me a piggy-back ride? I wanna save all of my energy for when we arrive at the park."

"Your wish is my command, princess," Yakko answered as he propped his sister onto his back. Dot giggled contentedly as she adjusted herself on top of her brother's shoulders.

Wakko sadly looked on. He couldn't help but feel left out by the sibling bonding. "Can I get a turn soon?"

Yakko looked over at Wakko with sympathetic eyes. "Of course sib, but you have to wait a little while."

While Wakko was relieved that Yakko had not forgotten about them, their shoulders sagged with impatience.

Brain noted the middle child's forlorn frown. The mouse knew exactly how to cheer Wakko up. "You don't need to wait any longer, sport." Using the man-suit, Brain lifted Wakko up and placed the middle child on his shoulders.

"This is awesome!" Wakko cheered, raising their hands in the air.

Pinky looked up from the pocket. "Aww, can I have a turn soon?"

"Don't worry, Dad," Wakko assured. He tried to reach for Pinky, but Brain recognized what he was doing and grabbed Pinky for them, placing the taller mouse into Wakko's hands. Wakko then placed Pinky on top of their hat.

Yakko looked up at Wakko and the mice and smiled. As he carried Dot, he thought of a wonderful idea.

"Hey Brain, I betcha Dot and I will get to the park first." He declared with a mischievous grin. The teen revved up his feet and began to race down the sidewalk. Dot giggled as she held onto her older brother.

"Last one there is a rotten egg!" Dot shouted gleefully.

Wakko looked at their siblings, who were already many paces ahead, and frowned. "Brain, we have to beat them!"

"Don't worry, Wakko," Brain assured. "For I have an ace up my sleeve."

The mouse pressed the buttons on the control panel, causing the jet engines to fire up. A few seconds later, the mechanical human suit rose a few feet above the sidewalk.

"Now that's what I'm talking about!" Wakko exclaimed.

"Hold on, you two!" Brain ordered as he took off.

Wakko gripped one hand on the suit's shoulder and the other hand on top of Pinky, securing him onto the red cap. The lanky mouse and the middle Warner cheered as they flew above the sidewalk. The trio managed to catch up with Yakko and Dot within seconds. Gripping the control lever, Brain maneuvered the suit's arm and swiftly caught the other two Warners in his hold. The pudgy mouse steered the controls and lifted up the suit to a higher elevation.

Yakko and Dot laughed as they were reunited with Wakko. Pinky felt his eyes watering at the sight of the siblings enjoying themselves while Brain drove the suit. Once Brain located the park, he made a swift descent towards the destination. Pinky and the Warners cheered as they approached the park. Brain slowly turned off the jet engines as he landed near an empty picnic bench. He was able to land the suit on both feet while carrying his passengers.

Yakko, Wakko, and Dot leaped off of the suit and landed on the ground. "We won! We won! We won!" They chanted as they bounced around the picnic table.

Pinky and Brain smiled at the children. They took in the beautiful scenery of the green trees and bushes among the luscious green grass. The mice were eager to have a grand old time at the park with the Warners.

Yakko and Dot reached into their hammerspaces and took out their kites. Yakko's kite had rainbow colors, while Dot's kite had purple and gold stripes. At that moment, Pinky had an idea. "Hey kids, can I fly with you?" He asked.

"Of course!" Yakko answered. "But I don't know if I have a mouse-sized kite anywhere."

"No, no, no," Pinky gently dismissed. "I mean, I want to fly on the kite!"

Yakko and Dot looked at each other before turning their gaze back at the lanky mouse. "Well, in that case, I don't see why not!" Yakko said as he took out some tape from his hammerspace.

"Fly on my kite, Pinky!" Dot cheered as she laid out her kite.

Pinky happily hopped onto the kite and spread himself out. He always had fun when Brain taped him up tight to a chair or the television screen during past plans for global conquest, but the thought of being taped to a kite exhilarated him. "Now don't hesitate to use extra tape! Zort!"

Meanwhile, Wakko took out a blue frisbee and approached Brain. "Hey Dadoo, wanna play frisbee with me?"

"Certainly," Brain answered with a small smile.

Wakko handed the frisbee over to Brain. The mouse gently held the plastic disc in his grip and looked out to Wakko, who ran about twenty feet away.

"Ready!" The toon child shouted.

Brain gripped the disc as he maneuvered the mechanical arms back. Thrusting the lever, he launched the frisbee. The blue disc glided across the air until Wakko leaped up and caught it in their mouth.

Wakko landed on all fours and sprinted down the grass like an eager dog. He then skidded to a stop when he was close to Brain, but managed to dig their heels into the grass and stop before he could collide with the mouse. Wakko contentedly dropped the frisbee in front of the suit's feet, wagged their tail a mile a minute, and panted eagerly with their tongue lolling out.

Brain snorted at Wakko's silliness. While the mouse wasn't sure what animal the Warners were supposed to be modeled after, but he was certain that the middle child inherited many traits found in the average canine. "Do you even know how to throw?"

"No throw!" Wakko replied with an ounce of ferocity in their tone. "Only give!"

The mouse rolled his eyes. "Alright, I think it's high time someone taught you the art of throwing."

With a wave of the mechanical hand, Brain commanded Wakko to stand up, to which the middle child eagerly obeyed.

"Now, the most important element of frisbee is about using the flick of your wrist to impart gyroscopic stability and to accelerate the mass of the disc to a certain velocity."

Wakko tilted his head in confusion.

Brain dejectedly sighed. He thought that his scientific jargon sounded rather groovy. But if he was to properly bond with Wakko, he needed to meet them halfway. "To put it in terms that you can understand, you must be able to use your arm and wrist to throw the frisbee so that it can glide in the air at a decent speed."

Wakko's eyes glistened. "Oh, now I get it!"

To demonstrate, Wakko whipped his arm and released the frisbee, which wobbled in the air and landed straight into a tree with an unceremonious thud.

Brain looked at the disc, which laid limp by the tree trunk, and back at Wakko. "We have a lot of work to do…"

Yakko and Dot were flying their kites, with Pinky strapped to Dot's purple and gold kite. The lanky mouse laughed heartily as he flew up in the air and admired the city from a bird's eye view.

But the fun came to a halt when Pinky and the kite crashed into the tree branch.

Yakko and Dot looked up at the tree with concern for the lanky mouse. "Are you okay, Pinky?" Dot called out, using her gloved hands to amplify her voice.

Spitting out the leaves from his mouth, Pinky responded to the girl's inquiry. "I'm right as rain, sweetie!" But Pinky spoke too soon as he struggled to liberate his limbs from the adhesive of the cheap tape.

"Uh Brain," Pinky called out from above. The big-headed mouse turned to see his partner stuck at the top of the tree.

Brain retrieved the kite (and his partner) from the tree branch and descended back to the ground. He carefully took the tape off of Pinky's limbs, placing the adhesives in his pocket to be disposed of later. Pinky hopped off of the kite and landed in the palm of Brain's robotic hand. Brain carefully picked Pinky up by the fur on his back and gently placed him in his front coat pocket.

"That oughta hold you." Brain told his partner.

Pinky chuckled. "That's funny. You always say that to me before our role-playing sessions."

Upon hearing the innuendo, Yakko looked over at the mice and stared at the fourth wall. He pressed his right hand to his lips, gave it a smooch, and flung it to the side. "Goodnight, everybody!" He exclaimed.

Brain felt the heat rise up in his cheeks at Yakko's iconic catchphrase. "Pinky, the park is a family establishment! There will be no mention of our licentious activities in front of the children!" he berated, pointing over to the Warners, who only giggled in response.

Yakko let out a contented sigh as he fished out his pen and notepad from his hammerspace. Clicking the top of the pen, he placed a checkmark on the box next to 'Making a witty response to a suggestive remark', marking off another goal on his To-Do List. The teen noted the second most important thing he needed to do next. Revisiting a certain segment that was sadly absent from the reboot.

Yakko then turned over to his younger siblings. "So, who wants to help me find the Wheel of Morality?"

"I do!" Dot exclaimed.

"Maybe later," Wakko replied as he fiddled the frisbee. "I wanna play with Dadoo some more, and I think I'm getting the hang of frisbee!" To test out their theory, Wakko threw the frisbee, which landed square in the middle of Brain's mechanical suit and ricocheted back to Wakko, hitting them square in the face. Despite the injury, Wakko eagerly grinned at their siblings and gave them a thumbs up.

Yakko noticed how happy Wakko was with the mice and shrugged. "Suit yourself, middle sib."

"Now let's go!" Dot exclaimed as she tugged at her older brother's wrist. Yakko smiled at his sister as they raced down the walkway in search of the coveted Wheel of Morality.

Wakko waved at their siblings as they bounced off into the distance before turning back towards the mice. He threw the frisbee once more at Brain, who was caught off guard by when the frisbee smacked him on his forehead.

"Ow!" Brain remarked as he took his own hand to soothe his head.

"Sorry!" Wakko replied with a sheepish smile.

"It's fine," Brain dismissed as he approached the middle child. "You have a lot of energy in your throws, but now it's time I taught you how to aim properly."

With Pinky now secure in his suit pocket, Brain returned his game of frisbee with Wakko. The pudgy mouse piloted the suit as he approached Wakko, and guided his mechanical arm to properly show them how to hold a frisbee.

"Now you want to grip the disc like this," He explained, as he moved Wako's hand to make a backhand grip on the frisbee. Wakko watched carefully with their tongue sticking out as he listened to Brain.

"With the disc secure, you want to position your arm backward." Brain continued as he carefully guided Wakko's arm towards their left side. "And then you flick your arm back towards your right and release the disc."

Wakko moved his arm and flicked the disc, which smoothly glided in the air for about ten feet before making a gentle landing onto the grass. The middle child flashed a proud smile at the frisbee and then back at the mice, who gave encouraging smiles in return.

For the next ten minutes, Brain and Pinky enjoyed themselves as Wakko's throwing greatly improved. They started out with five-foot throws and eventually managed to find a steady rhythm as they made more long-distance throws.

Brain tossed the frisbee twenty feet over to Wakko, who caught it in the grip of their gloved hand with ease.

Wakko grinned as he looked back at the mice. "Go long!" Wakko shouted as he made a particularly long throw.

Brain maneuvered the man-suit fast enough to where the frisbee would fall. Taking a big leap into the air, he caught the frisbee but lost his footing. As the suit tripped over to the grass, Brain fell out from his controller's chair, with Pinky following suit.

The two mice tumbled about thirty feet away from the suit and landed near the base of a tree, causing the bluebirds to scatter. Colorful stars swirled around their heads when a blue feather gracefully fell on top of Brain.

Brain pondered for a moment, recalling his childhood days in the meadow when he spent his free time playing 'keep-it-up' with any feather or leaf he stumbled across. As much a The big-headed mouse took a deep breath and blew the feather off of his head. The feather rose up a good measure above the air before descending again. Suddenly, Brain felt his playfulness reemerging after laying dormant for Lord knows how long and decided to keep the feather up in the air.

Pinky's vision eventually cleared and the first thing he saw was his partner merrily blowing at a blue feather while wearing the most endearing smile.

"What are you doin', Brain?" Pinky inquired.

"Playing a little game," Brain answered, his eyes still focused on the blue feather. "The objective is to keep the feather up in the air for as long as possible."

"Zounds, Brain, that looks like fun!" Pinky cheered. The mouse bounced back on his feet and trotted over towards Brain.

The big-headed mouse stared up at the feather, calculating where it would land. He was determined to keep it up for as long as possible. Before he could make his move, Pinky stood beside him and puffed out enough air to launch the feather up to an additional six inches.

Pinky gave a goofy grin at Brain, who chuckled in response.

They took turns blowing enough air to prevent the feather from falling onto the grass. The two mice quickly became so invested in the game that they lost track of their responsibility watching over the Warners.

When the feather was close to landing on a nearby bush, Pinky and Brain collided with each other and fell backward. The mice groaned as the feather swiftly landed next to them. Rubbing their heads, the mice looked at each other and laughed joyously. Brain got up first and eagerly helped Pinky get back up.

Just as the mice stood up, a giant net stealthily emerged from the bushes and swooped them up. Fear and alarm overtook the couple as they struggled in the chafing ropes of the net. Thrown into a fit of confusion, they were unaware of the men in white lab coats until they spoke up.

"Looks like we found the perfect specimens for the separation experiment," A red-headed scientist said.

"You know, it's a good thing it was delayed to this evening. These little mice would make excellent candidates!." The scientist with square glasses remarked.

Pinky and the Brain exchanged terrified glances. The experiment they thought they had evaded was put on hold. A weekend filled with light-hearted antics and bonding was to end with the close mice being separated for an entire month.

Brain looked outside the picturesque park through his roped prison, recalling the tragic day when he was stolen from his family in the meadows as a young field mouse and was unceremoniously hauled away to Acme Labs. Where his innocence vanished and was resigned to the fate of a mistreated laboratory rodent.

Raw determination grappled his fear. Brain refused to allow history to repeat itself again. He refused to be separated from his family once more.

"Hurry Pinky," Brain called out. "Use every ounce of strength you have to tear a hole through this net so we could still escape while we have the chance!"

But the red-headed scientist swiftly picked them up by their tails and carelessly placed them into an iron cage.

Pinky and Brain ran over to the bars. Out from the horizon, they saw Wakko skipping along, carrying the frisbee in their hands. The mice reached out their arms through the bars, using every ounce of energy in their voices to alert the middle child.

"Wakko!" Pinky cried out as tears poured from his eyes. "Please help us!"

"Please, my child! You must do something!" Brain shouted, his voice laced with desperation. "You're our only hope!"

Wakko's ear stood up the moment he heard their frightened pleas. He scanned over the horizon to see the two mice he dearly loved imprisoned in the iron cage carried by the adults in white lab coats. The scientists walked over to the back of the windowless van and placed Pinky and Brain into the back along with the other recently captured field mice.

Wakko felt their heart breaking. Pinky and Brain gave them and their siblings a wonderful and memorable weekend. He recalled Brain standing up to them and taking a last-minute trip to the library so he could get the drawing back. Even Pinky showed his true colors of being a loving and reliable guardian. The mice helped Wakko out and now it was time to return the favor.

"Hey! You let those mice free!" The middle child shouted, running as fast as he could to reach the scientists. "They're my dads!"

But the scientists ignored his pleas as they entered the front seat van. Wakko picked up their pace the moment he saw the van doors shut. But the Acme Labs van started up its engines. Before Wakko could approach the vehicle, it quickly drove from its parking spot and departed from the park.

Wakko tried to pick up his pace, but the van turned a corner and disappeared out of sight. The toon felt their heart thumping in their ribcage. He was the mice's only hope for salvation, and he failed.

Wakko fell down to their knees in defeat. their face crumpling as tears began to fall. He pulled his ears, berating himself for not saving his dads when he had the chance. Tears began to pool from the middle child's eyes. Blinking away their blurry vision, the tears streamed down their face as a sob broke.

"Hey Wakko, we found the Wheel of Morality!" He heard Yakko cheer from a distance. Wakko's stomach dropped. How was he supposed to tell Yakko and Dot that Pinky and Brain were captured?

Yakko and Dot skipped merrily with the intention of showing Wakko the coveted Wheel of Morality. But the siblings stopped in their tracks when the middle Warner didn't budge from their spot and their frame shaking.

Yakko carefully approached Wakko in an earnest effort to alleviate their woes. "Hey Wakko, what's wrong?" He comforted his sibling.

"The Acme Labs scientists took Pinky and Brain away!" Wakko tearfully explained. Yakko and Dot gasped in shock.

Wakko sniffled. "I-I tried to keep up, but the van was too quick…"

Yakko and Dot sympathetically looked on, not wanting the middle child to feel too hard on themselves.

"Dad and Dadoo are in trouble and we need to do something!" Wakko cried. Yakko instinctively knelt down and rubbed his siblings back in a soothing manner.

Dot's face scrunched up as she pondered. "Acme Labs…" She muttered to herself as she retrieved her smartphone from her pocket. She opened up the internet and searched in the lab. She managed to find the establishment's address.

"The lab is only a few miles from here!" Dot informed her older siblings. "If we can hail a cab, then we'd be able to break them out before sunset!"

Yakko grinned at his sister, feeling proud of her initiative. "Sibs, if we want to save our family, then we gotta act quickly!" Yakko announced as he bounced up on his feet.

Wakko beamed at their brother, elated that eldest Warner finally recognized the mice as family. "You mean it, Yakko?"

Yakko placed a gentle hand on his sibling's shoulder. "Of course. They looked out for us, so it's only fair that we look out for them!"

The eldest Warner offered a helping hand, and Wakko immediately clapped it and rose on their feet. With the aid of their siblings, the middle child was determined to save their two dads.

Dot approached the sidewalk and turned over to the oncoming white taxi van. She stuck her hand out in the air and gave a loud whistle. "Taxi!" She hollered.

Right on command, the white taxi pulled up to the sidewalk. The doors to the minivan opened and the Warners clamored into the backseat.

"Where to?" The driver asked.

"Acme Labs," Dot gravely commanded. "And put the pedal to the metal!"

-                     -                        -                             -                            -

The mice were surrounded in darkness. Pinky and Brian were locked in a protective embrace throughout the duration of the car ride over to Acme Labs.

Brain listened to the frightened cries of the other field mice. He couldn't help but remember the day he was locked away in the Acme Labs vehicle to be separated from his family and home. He never thought that he would relive that painful day.

Pinky held Brain close as his mind raced with all sorts of worrying things. The weekend wasn't supposed to end like this! He and Brain should be back at the park and watching the Wheel of Morality. Brain should be bringing up the proposal to officially adopt the sweet Warner children and start a big happy family together. They should have successfully avoided the separation experiment.

Pinky felt his stomach drop. He didn't like the idea of being separated from his dearest Brain. He remembered the different times he and Brain were apart. Snowball was almost successful when he offered him the amusement park. Then there was the time Brain had a mid-life crisis and insisted that he was better off with his career as a ski instructor. Or the time his hit musical caused Brain to run off. But worst of all was when Mr. Itch planned on separating him and Brain for the rest of eternity.

He detested the thought of not being by Brain's side for an entire month.

"Brain…" Pinky wobbled. "Poit! I haven't been this scared since Mr. Itch tried to separate us for good!"

Brain tightened his grip around Pinky at that painful memory. "The feeling is understandable, dear Pinky," He sullenly replied as he cast his eyes downward.

"And we were just going to start our new lives as parents," Pinky sadly added. As the words escaped his lips, he felt a small ray of hope. "Troz! Maybe the Warners will bust us out of here before the experiment starts!"

Brain's ears twitched at Pinky's relentless optimism, even in the face of hopelessness. The mouse loved to think that he and his partner further strengthened their relationship with the three toons, perhaps to the point of something familial.

The pudgy mouse looked back at Pinky with a small smile. "Perhaps you're right."

But the van screeched to a grinding halt.

Pinky looked through the bars, his long tail wagging excitedly. "Maybe they'll bust through the doors right now and take us back to the studio!"

The backdoors flew open to reveal the same scientists who stole their freedom.

Pinky retreated from the iron bars and launched himself onto Brain with open arms. The smaller mouse instinctively wrapped his arms around his partner's lanky figure, holding on as tight as he could. Their hopes of escape were snuffed out.

"Well, the thought was nice while it lasted." Brain commented in a dejected tone.

One of the scientists picked up their cage and swiftly placed it on a metal cart. Pinky and Brain held each other in a protective hug as they watched the scientists place the other cages onto the cart. Brain couldn't help but notice the terrified squeaks of the various field mice who were robbed of their freedom and to be incarcerated in Acme Labs. The mouse shut his eyes. The memories of his arrival at Acme Labs to the horrific experiments he underwent returned to him.

The first night spent in the cold steel cage. The learned helplessness experiment. Being strapped to a chair and watching painfully bad political advertisements. Receiving painful shocks from the stunning plate in an earnest attempt to obtain some cheese. He and Snowball riding a red toy car that launched straight into a brick wall, rendering them horrifically injured. Undergoing the gene splicer while wrapped in bandages. Losing his first friend after a terrible falling out. Being force-fed cigarettes against his will. Having to pilot a faulty toy plane that ended up becoming a major fire hazard.

Brain's breathing hitched. Thankfully, he felt Pinky's paw lovingly stroke his back in a soothing motion. The pudgy mouse rested his head in his partner's chest. He had to savor the physical comfort while he still could.

Pinky, too, thought about his arrival at the lab. When the scientist first purchased him from the pet store, he thought nothing of it and assumed that he was going on vacation. But as the nights passed, the reality of the situation dawned on him that he might never see his family again. Pinky was thankful that Brain helped him reunite with his folks years later, but for the longest time, he thought that would not be the case. He whimpered at the thought that he might be separated from Brain and the Warner siblings for good.

Once the cages were transferred from the vehicle and onto the cart, the scientist wheeled them away into the research facility.

Pinky started to sob when the fluorescent lights of the lab hit. Brain looked over at Pinky with worried eyes. Although emotions were not his strong suit, he was determined to provide his roommate with some level of comfort.

"Have courage, Pinky," Brain consoled his partner, gingerly caressing his paw. "It'll only be for a month, and we'll soon be reunited."

Pinky gave Brain's paw a tight squeeze in return. "I-I'll try, Brain." He stammered as tears poured from his eyes.

The cart stopped in the middle of the hallway and one of the scientists opened up their cage.

Brain squeezed his eyes tight as he clung to Pinky. While he was aware that being placed in a separate cage that included all of the basic necessities for an entire month was bearable in comparison, being separated from Pinky proved to be its own type of torture in and of itself.

"I love you, Brain." Pinky warbled.

Brain's stomach dropped when he heard those words. Gathering up enough courage, Brain made his feelings known before he was to be separated from the most important thing in this world.

"I love you too, Pinky." Brain solemnly whispered.

The small door to the iron cage opened and a gloved hand dipped down to retrieve one of his victims. The hand tried to pull the mice apart but was having difficulty. Brain instinctively sank his teeth into the gloved hand to retaliate.

The scientist yelped as swiftly yanked his hand out of the cage. "Looks like we've got a biter." He told his associate.

The other scientist snaked his hand through the opening and swiftly grabbed Brain. Pinky's eyes widened when he saw Brain in the clutches of one of his captors. When the other scientist reached his hand into the cage, Pinky was determined to fight back. But the scientist proved to have quick reflexes as he secured his grasp around the lanky mouse and plucked him from the cage.

Brain struggled to release his arms from the scientist's grasp but found it difficult to squirm his way out. He looked over to see Pinky squirming in the other scientist's hold whilst looking at him with pleading eyes.

"Brain!" Pinky cried out.

Brain stared at his partner as they were forcibly separated by the callous scientists.

"Pinky…" He exhaled, tears dampening his ivory cheeks. Brain watched helplessly as he was carried away into a testing room.

A scientist with blonde braided hair shut the door right away. Brain inspected the room and the many white coats. Two of the head scientists he recognized. The older gentleman with silver-grey hair and a middle-aged woman with brown hair that was held together in a ponytail. There were six other scientists, all of them in their early twenties and straight out of college.

The red-headed scientist placed Brain on when the middle-aged scientist with red hair cleaned the tip of his right ear with a disinfectant wipe. Just as he twitched at the moist sensation, he felt a hard sting when the scientist pierced his ear with a silver metal tag.

The mouse was overcome with shame. While the piercing was far less painful than the time he was branded with the black A tattoo on his leg during his youth, it wounded his pride just as much. The silver ear tag was another cruel reminder that he was not a mouse with autonomy and ambition, but a mere piece of property to a corporate laboratory.

"Subject A-93," The woman muttered as she scribbled his notes onto the clipboard. Brain grimaced at his slave name.

The older scientist grabbed Brain from the table. He walked over towards a glass cage that was placed in the middle of the room, opened up the top cover, and lowered the mouse inside.

Brain inspected the prison he was to reside in for the next month. The ground was covered in straw, there was an exercise wheel, a bowl of food pellets, and a full water bottle. Not much different from his old cage. The only thing that was missing was Pinky.

The mouse stared at his reflection in each of the four sides of his glass cage. "Drat!" He muttered to himself. If he were placed in a cage similar to his green one, then he would easily have picked the lock with his tail and made a daring mission to rescue Pinky.

Brain ran to the side of the cage and angrily pounded on the glass wall, desperate to make an escape.

He saw two of the scientists talking to each other as they scribbled down in their notes. Brain peered at the older man's lips as he spoke.

"Over the course of the month, we will be studying the emotional intelligence and cognitive thinking of the common laboratory mouse and how it will cope with a month of being separated from its closest partner."

"No need to remind me," Brain bitterly remarked, knowing full well his sarcasm would go unnoticed by the scientists.

The mouse paced around the straw floor, pondering the different means of escape. There was the matter of telekinesis. Brain hoped that Pinky would use his special abilities to break free and rescue him. But the more he thought about it, the more doubtful he became. While Pinky had no issue with controlling his telekinetic powers, the only problem is that his partner's powers tend to come and go.

He then thought of the Warners. Perhaps Pinky was right, and that the Warners could liberate them from the lab. Brain was certain that he and Pinky made a great impression on them so that they would be willing to rescue them from the lab, right?

But Brain shook his head. He didn't want to get his hopes up only to be let down if they didn't show up.

The mouse looked over at the scientists, one of which was by the refrigerator. Perhaps if one of the scientists opened up the cage and lowered their arm, Brian could climb up and make a run for it. He would somehow rescue Pinky and they would make their escape from the lab.

The lid of the cage opened and placed a small plate of cheese in the center.

Brain set his sights on the slice of swiss cheese just as the scientist quickly shut the lid on top of the cage.

The mouse felt his heart slam against his chest as he stared at the large piece of swiss cheese.

Brain knew that there was no stunning plate underneath the cheese. There were no clamps or electrical wires that connected the plate to the shock device. But the familiar image was a painful reminder of the trauma he endured as a child.

He glanced over at the scientists, who were not the same ones who performed the experiment during his youth, as managed to read the head scientist's lips. "The objective of this first test is to see how the subject will react to new stimuli without the aid of his partner. During the first week of testing, we'll examine how the mouse would react to different types of food before moving on to common household items."

Brain looked back at the cheese and took a few steps back. He clutched his jagged tail, noting each zig-zag mark was the result of being electrocuted by the stunning plate. He shook his head in disbelief. This had to be some cruel trick. To be separated from his beloved Pinky only be stuck with a painful reminder of his childhood trauma.

Closing his eyes, the mouse turned away and ran towards the wall, slamming into it. Brain curled his paws into fists and began to pound at the wall in a desperate attempt to escape. With each punch, he was reminded of how utterly helpless he had become. No longer was he an ambitious intellectual with dreams of world conquest. As the punches slowed down, he stared into his reflection, reminded that he was a sad and pitiful rodent only to be used as fodder in the name of science and human curiosity.

Tears flooded his eyes and blurred his vision. Brain shook his head once more. He hated feeling vulnerable. The mouse blinked away the hot tears as he continued to pound at the glass wall. The scientists stared at the mouse with indifference as they scribbled into their notepads.

Brain fell to his knees, feeling a great sense of despair from the unfeeling researchers. Bowing his head down in defeat, the mouse continued to sob, feeling totally helpless.

AN: This is the beginning of the end of this story.

I apologize for the long hiatus. I had a lot going on with my personal life, as well as experiencing writer’s block. Fortunately, I managed to overcome that hurdle as of late, and I’m already polishing up the last two chapters, so I'm hoping to finish them as soon as possible.

This chapter was a little challenging (especially the tone change in the last third), but everything is gearing up towards the climax. I had a lot of fun putting in several references to past episodes from the original Animaniacs, the Pinky and The Brain spin-off, and the Animaniacs reboot. I also decided to place a flashback to when the mice first met the Warners because I wanted to establish how these two groups initially crossed paths and how their relationship was founded (as well as having a callback to the McDonald’s joke from Chapter Three).

To the folks who are still reading this story, thank you for your patience and I’ll do my best to wrap up the last chapters on a shorter schedule.

Thanks for reading!

[himbeaux-on-ice]

Hello! I was wondering if you could please explain to me what Robin Lehner said yesterday about vaccination and competitive edge? English isn't my 1st language and from what I gathered NHL and PA promised VGK that if they get vaccinated the restrictions on them will lessen and they can freely leave their houses. And when they players got vaccines, NHL changed their promise and said players can't do that until all of the teams across the league are evenly vaccinated (shitty move from NHL, 1/2

2/2 as always). But what did Robin mean talking about competitive edge? I rewatched the video 3 times and I still don't understand :( Did the league make it a competition between the teams? "The sooner you all get vaccinated, the sooner there'll be no resctions on you?" I hope, I'm not completely missing the point, sorry about that. Big respect for Robin for speaking up and calling out the league. I'm really happy seeing players speaking up for themselves and their teams

Hi anon! I’ve spoken about this already a bit here and here, in case you haven’t seen those yet and think they might answer some of your questions. But I’m happy to elaborate further! I hope I can clear this up for you.

First, just as a note: Right now it doesn’t seem to exactly be clear what the NHL and NHLPA did or didn’t promise players in terms of easing restrictions, but it seems like Lehner was definitely given the impression by somebody that a team getting fully or mostly vaccinated was the ticket to not being under such strict isolation. The NHL for their part seems to be claiming they promised no such thing, but it’s hard to know right now whether that’s just them covering ass, or if there was just a misunderstanding somewhere in which what they actually said was not fully clear to the players. [Elliotte Friedman voice] More news may be yet to come on this.

Right. So as far as “competitive edge” goes, I can definitely explain that. You’re only a little off the mark. What he means in this case is that the NHL is concerned that letting more fully vaccinated teams live under a less intensely restrictive set of internal rules (regarding things like dining together, exercising together, sitting next to each other on planes and busses, having more group off-ice social time, sharing hotel rooms, having in-person coaching meetings again, etc) will lead to that group having an on-ice advantage in their play over other teams who are less vaccinated and still have to live under full restrictions.

Because the NHL is intensely obsessed with “parity of sport” (trying to make the conditions of competition the same for all teams regardless of outside factors wherever possible), they always in as many situations as possible want to eliminate any potential leg up one team could have over others. This is why we have things like the salary cap, rules about scouting players, rules about how draft picks are distributed that try to make sure struggling teams have a chance to draft well, rules against signing your best players for 20-year contracts so nobody else can have them, etc.

In general theory, being parity-oriented is good! It aims to make sure that the success of teams on the ice and in the standings is determined by the hockey play/skill alone as much as possible, not by franchise wealth or other things they did to get an unfair jump on the competition. And that should make the games more fun and less boring/predictable in most cases! As far as sports leagues go, the NHL has pretty good parity of play overall — there are only a few REALLY good teams and only a few REALLY bad ones, and everybody else performs within a pretty similar range most years. This is why back-to-back Cup wins are so rare in the current era, because due to all the rules to enforce parity there are relatively few teams that are THAT dominant over the competition for a long stretch of multiple seasons in a row, and the odds of any given team winning each year are much more similar. (As compared to like that period in the late 70’s when it was like “who won the Cup? oh surprise surprise it’s the Habs AGAIN 🙄” lol).

However, sometimes the NHL gets unrealistic in its pursuit of making sure everything is exactly the same for all teams. We’ve seen it already this season with the stubborn insistence on making sure the Canucks play a full 56 game season like everybody else, regardless of whether it is safe or reasonable to do so in the time they have left.

This time, the fixation on parity seems to be rearing its head in the form of the League insisting that even if a team has most or all of their players and staff vaccinated, they still have to maintain the same intense restrictions within team spaces as other teams which may be WAY further behind in getting everyone vaccinated, rather than getting to benefit from the lowered risk that being thoroughly vaccinated brings within a closed group like that. And they seem to be insisting on this not because it would be unsafe to change things for vaccinated teams, but rather because of concern that doing so might make that team perform better as a hockey team.

That’s the key part here: The NHL seems to consider getting to (safely) return to a mode of team life that is somewhat more similar to what these guys have been habitually used to pre-pandemic, to be something that could translate into an unfair on-ice advantage in the quality of their play, over other teams who are still doing it all “the hard way” under strict restrictions because they haven’t been vaccinated yet. And because of trying for parity, they want avoid giving teams that “advantage” by basing restriction changes around each team’s individual situation, and instead plan to ease restrictions for all teams at the same time at some point once all teams are similar levels of vaccinated.

Now, US teams seem to be getting vaccinated faster and faster every day, but Canadian teams probably have not started vaccinating their players or any team employees under age 50 at all yet, because Canada’s vaccination process has been painfully slow. So waiting on them to catch up could leave US teams who are already mostly/fully vaccinated still stuck in those restrictive mentally draining conditions for quite some time before the other teams catch up — again, not because it isn’t COVID safe to ease their restrictions if done properly (that doesn’t seem to be a problem), but because the League sees the improvements to their mental state and team morale/cohesion that would come from living a less restricted life together and getting to return to familiar off-ice hockey routines as gaining a “competitive edge” over unvaccinated teams, which would lead to them playing better hockey to a level that can’t be matched as a result.

Which, Lehner is right, is a pretty fucked up way to look at it! “It’s an unfair advantage for you to not be miserably alone and depressed by that and frustrated and doing everything with 16 extra steps you’re still not used to, it’s an unfair advantage to get to actually act like a team off the ice when playing a team sport, so no, we’re not gonna let you eat lunch together or share hotel rooms or whatever” is not exactly a compassionate argument!

Anon I’m also really glad Robin said something about it, and I was glad to see VGK captain Mark Stone put full and vocal team support behind him when asked about it last night on the broadcast too. The mental price of these intense restrictions is something that has been weighing on my mind ever since I first heard they would have to spend all their time on the road locked in hotel rooms alone when not playing and thought “oh god, five months of that is going to be psychologically devastating”. It’s a relief to hear it acknowledged.

I’m not fully sure what the best solution is here, but that mental wellbeing factor absolutely must be discussed in all decisions. It would be fucked up if the League is treating that as something purely technical to be controlled like the salary cap, rather than as a key determinant of health and life (in the short and long term) that is just as important as COVID safety. The old hockey culture of “just suck it up” cannot cut it anymore.

Aside: I think it’s also worth mentioning while we’re here, that I think I do understand why players may be angry about have been talked into getting the vaccine because they thought it would lead to eased personal restrictions, and why I don’t believe that anger necessarily represents an “anti-vaxx” mindset. There are reasons they may not have planned on getting vaccinated just yet which aren’t necessarily “anti-vaxx” cult thinking (though that doesn’t mean they’re smart reasons lol) and would likely seem reasonable to players in-context. I’m gonna put that under a cut though bc this is already really long!

First, there’s the fact that we don’t know what medical conditions some players may or may not have which could make them hesitant to get some of the vaccines out of an abundance of caution. More prominently you also gotta remember, these guys are athletes currently competing their way through an extremely intense and extremely important part of the season as they try to secure playoff spots, playing sometimes as many as 4 games a week. Looking at it that way, it’s understandable why some of them would be hesitant about getting a shot at this particular time which we all know is going to whammy you with a nasty little bout of mild-moderate side effects that hit you like a bad cold for as much as a week. They probably don’t feel they can afford to be laid up with muscle aches, sinus suffering, fatigue, and all the other little fun (and eventually harmless in the end!) things that your body runs through while activating that initial immune response — because in the couple of days that it throws them off for, their team could play 3 or more REALLY important playoff-clinching games, which they could end up underperforming in or having to sit out.

If that is the situation you’re in, and you already feel like the current League restrictions are doing enough to protect you, you can see why you would say “I think I’ll wait and get it during the offseason/during the week break between regular season and playoffs, and just suck it up for these last few weeks dealing with the same ol lonely isolation restrictions I’ve already gotten used to dealing with all season long, rather than be hit with that curveball of possible temporary vaccine side-effects during this time when I need to give it my all every game.” That may sound like a selfish mindset, but I wouldn’t be surprised if that is how at least some of these athletes are approaching it, especially ones who may be single guys without families at home to worry about protecting. (Lehner, for the record, has a wife and two young kids).

BUT, if the League told you (or it sounded like the League told you) “Hey, if enough of your team gets vaccinated quickly, we’ll be able to lift some of the internal restrictions for you guys and let you like hang out and do stuff together within the team again”, and if you were REALLY struggling with the mental stress of that isolated living style, you might weigh the two options against each other and say “Okay, I’m willing to power through a week of potential side-effects and get vaccinated with the fellas if it means I won’t have to be so goddamn miserable and depressed every day.” and then you get the shot(s).

And if you did that, and THEN the League said “lol no, even though your team is fully immunized you still have to sit in your room alone every night and eat by yourself and not leave your house, because it’s not fair to other teams if you guys are no longer mentally miserable like them”, well now you find yourself in the worst of both worlds — still stuck in isolation, AND you’ve still got to play through all the potential vaccine side-effects that will leave you a little off your game during some of the most crucial games of the year.

Plus, that leaves you not feeling like you got to give informed consent — you agreed to get vaccinated (ie undergo a medical treatment) under the expectation that there would be certain rewards to be gained in terms of relief for your mental health, which made you decide it was worth the potential dent in your performance for a few games and any other worries you had about the vaccine, because the prospect of that relief was so worth it. And now, you are told by the League “that payoff you expected never existed, we never promised that, what are you talking about? we can’t change things for your mental health because that might make you better at hockey than the depressed unvaccinated teams”. I can understand how that turn of events could leave someone, as Robin expressed, feeling like they were “tricked” or “forced” into making a choice that they may have done differently otherwise. They felt that they were promised something in return that they didn’t get.

Note at the end of all this: Again, we still don’t know whether the NHL and NHLPA actually made any promises, or if they simply weren’t clear enough in communicating expectations to teams and the players misunderstood what was said to mean something else. Regardless, using the idea that being freed from having to be miserably isolated to an even greater degree than most of the US general public is an “unfair competitive advantage” to now justify not allowing reasonable adjustments to the restrictions for fully vaccinated teams is fucked up, and treats mental wellbeing as just another gameplay-impacting factor to be controlled rather than a deeply impactful part of a person’s overall wellbeing which can even threaten their life. The players must be treated as people.

[silverbastardgoldenfool]

Realm of the Quarantine Reread End-of-Book Questionnaire: Assassin’s Quest

Any differences between your first/previous reading experience and this one?

Keep in mind I’m writing this months after finishing the book lol (it’s mental illness innit). I have LOTS of notes to go off but yeah, things aren’t as fresh in my mind overall. With that said the biggest difference I can think of between my first and second experience with AQ is my feelings towards Kettricken. I think the first time around reading you know that Fitz is an unreliable narrator but you are still limited by his viewpoint so you can get a bit trapped seeing things the way he does. For this reason, I think I pretty much just forgave Kettricken when he did on my first read, whereas on this read I was like……. Waiting for her to actually apologise and show some sympathy towards Fitz and it just…. Never happened.

Like, don’t get me wrong, I still love Kettricken as a character and I fully recognise that she has been traumatised. I don’t expect her to be nice or act rationally, and in the case of being willing to take Nettle for the crown… It’s cold but she’s doing what she feels she has to. My issue is - do what you have to, but don’t expect Fitz to understand or forgive you (same with Starling). But I think what bothered me the most was how Kettricken would constantly confide in Fitz and break down to him and he was always there to let her do so, yet she NEVER gives Fitz the chance to do the same. The one time he does “open up” in a sense is when she forces him to air out his traumas in front of everyone, and she didn’t show him any sympathy for what he’d been through then or later. She has been through hell, absolutely, but while her plight may not have been any better than Fitz’s it certainly wasn’t any worse. She pretty much had two modes in this book: completely cold or a crying wreck - but she was only ever crying for herself. She lets Fitz console her but she never consoles him. Again, this is a result of her own trauma and I don’t expect her to act any differently, but it just reaffirmed for me that while she and Fitz care for each other deeply it is not an equal relationship. Fitz feels an obligation to serve her and she - knowingly or not - takes advantage of that. Like, after realising that this is their dynamic it is so obvious that the same is true in Royal Assassin as well, and it will be interesting to see how it changes (or doesn’t) in Tawny Man as I don’t remember it well enough to say.

Must reiterate: Kettricken is still a great character and I still have a lot of respect for her, unfortunately she just falls into the overfull camp of people who love Fitz but have an unhealthy power dynamic with him.

The other big difference I noticed was that the Verity stuff just wasn’t as devastating this time. Not because it was any less sad but it just didn’t tear out my heart like it did the first time. That’s not a fault with the writing at all, I think it’s just the fact that, knowing what would happen to Verity and that we wouldn’t see the real Verity again, I kind of already let go of him at the end of Royal Assassin.

Something you can’t believe you forgot

I guess more of a misinterpretation/wishful thinking but like, realising that there is no passage explicitly stating that Fitz and the Fool were actually spooning in the mountains murdered me and spat on my corpse.

Oh also!!! Fitz yeeting himself out the window at Tradeford castle jskaskjf

Favourite character introduction moments/scenes

I love Kettle in general and the way we’re introduced to her as a cranky old lady sets her up perfectly

Favourite character arcs

Man they’re all so fucking sad lol but I guess the Fool? He goes from thinking Fitz is dead and his purpose failed to reuniting with Fitz, their relationship growing into something really real for the first time, and actually completing his mission - at least for now lol. This book is really the first time you get to see the Fool be properly vulnerable. Even when he was getting beaten up by Regal’s guards he always had his veneer of snark and superiority to hide behind - and I doubt when he went through his sicknesses at Buckkeep he would have revealed his weakness to anyone in order to be helped. But in the mountains he lets so much of that facade of the King’s Fool fall away - at least when it’s just him and Fitz. When he and Fitz meet again he lets Fitz see his grief and pain and hopelessness and joy as the Fool looks after Fitz, and then later when it’s the Fool who needs looking after he lets Fitz look after him. When was the last time the Fool had anyone really care for him like that, ya know? Had someone protect him purely out of love? Ouch dude!!!!

Also he gets to kiss Fitz at the end so good for him!!!!!!!!!! Be gay ride dragons!!

Favourite quote/s

“I would kill Regal. It only seemed fair. He had killed me first.”

“I had looked into the heart of my enemy. I still could not comprehend him.”

“The more I drank, the less tolerable my situation seemed. And the more intolerable I became to my friends.”

“I had never thought to be disdained by a tree.”

“The Fool, the Fool, only the Fool. I sought for him. I almost found him. Oh, he was passing strange, and surpassing strange. He darted and eluded me, like a bright gold carp in a weedy pool, like the motes that dance before one’s eyes after being dazzled by the sun. As well to clutch at the moon’s reflection in a still midnight pond as to seek a grip on that bright mind. I knew his beauty and his power in the briefest flashes of insight. In a moment I understood and marvelled at all that he was, and in the next I had forgotten that understanding.”

“When you can either laugh or cry, you might as well laugh.” - the Fool

Favourite relationships

Fitzandthefoolfitzandthefoolfitzandthefoolbahslbghabfhalgngjba 

Also fitz and nighteyes (speaking of which, Nighteyes’ arc in this book is also fascinating and surprisingly complex) and Fitz/Nighteyes/Fool mwah magnifico chef’s kiss

Favourite setting

Kelsingra baybeyyy. I remember the first time reading this having no fucking clue what was happening in that chapter but I guess it was the gay agenda all along

Favourite chapter

It’s gotta be the chapter where Fitz and the Fool reunite, right? Catch me just gradually losing my grip on reality with every lingering stare 

Most loved character

Foooooooooool

Most hated character

Ya know, for a minute I was actually wondering if I would like Starling this time round but yeah no lol. She was actually okay for a while but as soon as she sold Fitz/Nettle out she became The Worst, just as I remembered her. It’s not even because she betrays Fitz but because, like Kettricken, she expects Fitz to forgive her for it, to the point of running to tattle to the queen because Fitz isn’t giving her enough attention (I’m also not impressed with Kettricken for actually getting involved instead of just telling her to grow up). Not to mention her constantly misgendering/gendering (??) the Fool or just assuming the Fool’s gender and loudly fucking proclaiming it to everybody is just truly fucking disgusting. Like I cannot even explain how furious I was reading her incessantly using she/her pronouns for the Fool despite no confirmation that her theory is right or that the Fool is comfortable with this and despite EVERYONE ELSE using he/him pronouns. God I’m mad now lol. She just acts like a spoilt brat and it makes my blood boil. But that’s probably because I have known many people like this so… Good character writing lol congrats

Raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimised by Robin Hobb (most heartbreaking and/or visceral moments)

The whole first chapter/s are just so heavy and carry on that gut wrenching feeling from the end of Royal Assassin. Fitz just has no real desire to live and watching him systematically severing the last few ties he has to his human life is just so sad.

Even though I wasn’t as attached to Verity this time, his goodbye to Fitz still made me cry

As did Fitz giving Kettle her skill back

Verity using Fitz’s body to have sex with Kettricken really got to me this time, mostly because I either didn’t notice the first time or had forgotten just how much it affects Fitz. It’s no wonder he doesn’t want to acknowledge Dutiful as his son when the event that brought that fact into being was so fucked up and traumatic. It’s really upsetting.

Burrich saying he almost took Fitz to Chivalry and he should have never let the Farseers take Fitz just …… breaks my heart. Just seeing Burrich so raw like that in general is so unusual it really takes you aback.

Details, observations, spoilery notes made with the benefit of the full picture

Strap in lads this part is lonnnngggggggg

Is it bad to immediately want to cry just from seeing “Sandsedge” on the map and thinking of Sandsedge brandy

I never really thought about how poor Hap didn’t get the real Fitz all those years and how their relationship could have been if Fitz hadn’t been partially forged

Pls I have no idea why but to picture someone as emotionally repressed as Fitz actually sitting down and writing about his life makes me want to fucking cryyyyeeeee

Fitz in the prologue talks about needing a purpose as something to distract himself from sinking [into his chronic pain, mental illness and addiction] and boy howdy if that ain’t relatable. As someone with mental illness and chronic pain Fitz is just painfully relatable way too often.

“I have never forgiven myself the triumph I ceded him when I took poison and died.” Fitz :(((( my guy :((((((( forgive yourself for surviving however you could baby!!!!!

This book mentions Bingtown providing slaves to Chalced

It’s so funny to me when people expect Fitz to have social skills as if he didn’t literally live as a fucking wolf for weeks at a time. It’s a miracle he bloody speaks

The state Fitz is in at the beginning of this book was literally Burrich’s greatest fear for him, yet Burrich doesn’t just say I told you so and leave. He stays, is patient and even optimistic.

“He (Burrich) is not bigger than I.” Why does this feel so wrong lol??? I just can’t picture Fitz as bigger than Burrich

“When you were younger and not supposed to go into taverns without me…” So it’s fine if the child goes into taverns and gets drunk as long as you’re also there. Got it, Burrich.

Fitz calling Chade “the grey one” wow get rekd old man river

Seeing Chade and Burrich interact is so bizarre

Fitz is still having seizures at the beginning of this book! I had forgotten that

God okay so idk if I can articulate this point super well but the whole thing of Fitz going through this extensive abuse and then essentially becoming an animal feels like a metaphor for the way your brain’s “higher” needs and functions just shut off sometimes under certain levels of stress. Like in order to cope with the trauma you don’t think about concepts, or long-term goals, or other people. You just take care of your basic needs - food, sleep, shelter, water - long enough that you start to feel safe and secure again, at which point your brain can open up a bit more and allow you to really think again; to want again, to plan again etc. Like obviously literally becoming an animal is a heightened version of reality, but the functionality of it is the same; our wounds and our fear stop us from fully embodying ourselves.

Burrich be like, Fitz was getting way too dependent on drugs before all this so let’s steer clear of those. :) LET’S GET HIM ABSOLUTELY SHITFACED INSTEAD

I  love how Fitz has his own unique relationship with Lacey and she’s not just Patience’s servant in his mind

Fitz talking about how even his memories from before his time in the dungeons are soiled by his trauma :( baby boy

Dude it’s so rich Chade lecturing Fitz about not making a life for himself, having friends or just chilling out like???? WHO TRAINED HIM TO BE AN ASSASSIN CHADE?? Like I get your point but what the hell kind of life did you think he was gonna have? Who ever took the time to teach him the importance of making connections with people for their own sake, and when would he have ever had the time anyway? I think Chade himself doesn’t actually know what he expects from Fitz.

Fitz saying he’s bad at making decisions because he’s never actually been allowed to make any is literally a point I’ve made lol. This is what happens when you teach teenagers how to murder in lieu of any basic life skills.

Burrich + Chiv were luv at first sight. No I will not elaborate.

“We kept you a boy, looked after you too much.” Huh??????? Fitz was never fucking sheltered lol. He didn’t have autonomy. There’s a difference.

I’m so fucking glad Fitz hugged Burrich before he left and that they actually left off on okay-ish terms. I didn’t remember that and it vaguely dulls the blow of knowing we don’t see Burrich again til Fool’s Fate (and that he thinks Fitz is dead the entire time between now and then).

“If I shaved my hair back from my brow” bitch disgusting

“Honey was the older of the two women. Perhaps my age.” jskfjnajgbl my guy those aren’t women then those are children!!!!!! U freak

I was wondering for ages why Fitz doesn’t mention the Fool like literally at all bc that’s so unusual right? Even in Assassin’s Apprentice he thinks of him when he goes to Moonseye and just in general the Fool usually enters Fitz’s thoughts pretty frequently. So why now, when Fitz doesn’t even know if the Fool is okay, is he just not thinking about him? And then I realised that that is exactly why. Because the only two people from his old life he doesn’t think about are the two people whose fates he knows nothing of: Kettricken and the Fool. So he can let his mind wander to think what Patience and Lacey might be up to at Buckkeep, or who Molly is with or whatever, because he knows they are all safe. But in such a fragile state I don’t think he can bring himself to really wonder whether Kettricken and the Fool made it to their destination - he probably doesn’t really believe they could have, and that is far too painful a road to go down when you are trying not to think at all.

I know the first act of this book is slow and that bothers some people, but I think it is so necessary, not only for Fitz’s arc but also because it really demonstrates just how severe the situation has gotten with the red ships and forged ones AND it shows just how destructive a king Regal is. Without this perspective it would probably be much harder to buy that the extreme measures taken at the end of the book are really worth the sacrifice.

Fitz is Demisexual, Exhibit A: when Honey is coming onto him, all he can think about is Molly.

Fitz is so scared of the Forged ones :( his trauma affects everything. He has no faith in himself and less heart for the violence than ever.

Speaking of trauma metaphors: the way Fitz tends to drift off into the wit or Skill after a traumatic experience is… pretty much just dissociation but magique

I forgot that witted folk can apparently communicate with each other mentally, not just with animals

“Her head was the size of a bushel basket.” Ah, yes, a bushel basket, a thing whose size we are all intimately familiar with.

Fitz finally finds others like him and even then he is not fully accepted. Told he is doing the wit wrong. Othered by the Others. It’s the queer experience innit.

Also forgot that apparently the forged are attracted to the wit as well as the Skill?

“I wondered if I had as many wolf mannerisms as they had halk and bear.” Yeah no probably not you only bloody LIVED as a wolf, Fitz.

Okay I know it doesn’t need saying but Patience is just so fucking cool!!!!!

Jesus fucking christ, Fitz skilling out to Molly when he knows Will knows he’s alive and is looking for him is just… so dumb. So so dumb. I know he’s just fixating on her because he’s miserable and she’s like this unsullied thing he had before everything went wrong but holy moly is it frustrating 

Not to mention he doesn’t connect the dots between the fact that Burrich went to “help a friend” and every time he reaches out for Molly he sees Burrich sajkdbshkhja dude

Nighteyes leaving just goes to show that Fitz cannot rely solely on Nighteyes for companionship. No matter how innately the same they are they are equally as innately different. Fitz needs Nighteyes but he shouldn’t have JUST Nighteyes (which is why he, Nighteyes and the Fool are the holy trinity). When Nighteyes leaves, Fitz is in way too fragile a state to be left alone, but Nighteyes cannot think of the future or what might happen. All he knows is he’ll be back at some point and that’s all that matters.

“My anger fed my competence” whatever you need to tell yourself sweetie

I think I had blocked out the fact the Regal was keeping animals trapped in filthy cages so they could ravage people in the king’s circle uggggghhhhhhhhh I hate him

Fitz is down on himself saying that without Shrewd’s largesse, Chade’s information and Verity’s protection his idea of himself has been stripped away and that he’s not actually competent etc. but like. This is an extreme situation!! You’re literally alone in the wilderness with nothing and no one!! Who would thrive in this situation? And nobody gets by without help anyway! The people in our lives do define us to an extent. You don’t have to be able to stand 100% on your own at all times with zero resources to be considered capable. It’s human to depend on others. Yes I am chiding myself as much as Fitz here :))))

Burrich’s earring is the repressed gay earring. No I will not elaborate.

Fitz refusing to sell Burrich’s earring is frustrating yet something I would 100% do lol

Direct from my notes: Celery hiding out in caves?? Bad bitch

“I felt I was within the flames looking deeply into the Fool’s eyes” um okay gay

It’s actually surprising that Fitz admits he would not have gone after Molly even if he had known she was pregnant when she left. On one hand so self aware yet this doesn’t stop him from completely idealising their relationship.

And then you have Molly who says he was supposed to come after her “so she could forgive him”, that he was supposed to be the one to light the candles for her childbirth etc. The fact that she in any way thought he was mature enough to be a father just shows how little they really knew each other.

Burrich treating Molly like a horse while delivering Nettle is way funnier than it has a right to be jskakjasd makes me think of Dwight treating Phyllis’ back injury in The Office lol

The first thing Burrich notices about Nettle is that she has Chivalry’s brow are you fucking kidding me. Gay!

Fitz is Demisexual, Exhibit B: He had no interest in Tassin whatsoever until she literally started kissing him. At this point his body reacted, which is normal, but as soon as he got a second to actually think about it he stopped, because for him it would not be satisfying to sleep with someone he didn’t have feelings for.

“It seemed to take years for the dried beans and lentils to soften.” Okay mood

I love how Fitz just assumes Molly will take him back. “I have a woman and child awaiting me.” Says who bitch?

Small ferret? More like big legend

Ya know, we give Fitz so much shit but honestly with so much physical, mental and emotional stress on this journey how can we expect his mental faculties to be at 100%? I wouldn’t be making good decisions either, in fact I would be long dead.

Starling telling Nik that the earring once belonged to Chivalry is truly a smooth brain move

“Do not fear, little brother, I am here to take care of you again.” Words can’t explain how much I love Nighteyes and how often his dialogue makes me smile :’)

It’s so cute how Nighteyes is worried about Molly and Nettle until he knows that Burrich is taking care of them

It’s really interesting when Fitz claims “I’d rather be with Molly even if it meant rocking a crying baby in the middle of the night” because, well, he’s literally made other claims to the contrary, saying he wouldn’t have gone with her even if he’d known she was pregnant. Because at the end of the day as much as Fitz is compelled by others to do work for the greater good, I think deep down a lot of the time it is what he would do anyway. Like I really don’t think he could actually enjoy being with Molly knowing that the world is burning down around them. He would want to get out there and help somehow; not only to secure their own future but to reduce other people’s suffering as well. He’s an empathetic boy even though he’d like to be selfish.

Every time Fitz calls Molly his wife I lose ten years off my life

Again, I understand why he’s thinking like this, but Fitz’s ownership of Molly is just so uncomfortable. The fact that he can’t imagine her not having a place ready and waiting for him in her life when he returns just illustrates that she is not a fully realised person to him. She is just a comforting idea.

Oh yes, it was definitely Starling’s “pillowtalk” that got you captured and not the fact that you fit the exact description of the witted bastard right down to having Chivalry’s earring and a whole ass wolf

Somehow forgot that Jhaampe is basically a city of tents with only a few permanent buildings and people constantly coming and going

Fitz’s first words to the Fool are “I’ve come to you.” I’m gonna fucking die

Literally every single word from the moment Fitz realises it’s the Fool and starts describing him is a full body assault and personal attack I am seeking reparations

God the tenderness, the angst, the relief……… shall i pass away

“I doubted he was much taller, but his body was no longer a child’s.” My dude this is a gay awakening if I ever saw one

Fitz be like *spends 87 pages describing the Fool in painstaking detail* anyway I love being a heterosexual male

I’ve heard ppl cite Fitz’s descriptions of Kettricken as evidence of a crush (hard disagree) but literally nothingggggg even comes close to the way he describes the Fool. Not just this once but over and over again it’s insane.

“Talk fell off between us. The bottle of brandy was empty. We were reduced to silence, staring at one another drunkenly.” skjakfnajghajgnaLNGJ is it gay to silently gaze into thine homie’s eyes

The Fool protecting Fitz from everyone - especially Starling - in Jhaampe is often hilarious and always heartwarming

Realising Fitz was skinny enough for the Fool to lift on his own ahhh no wonder he said the famous “When I recall how beautiful you were” line, Fitz is a total wreck

I love that the Fool actually gives Chade shit for his plan to take Nettle. I love him.

“Too few folk cared for me. I could not hate a single one of them.” Oh, Fitz :(

I always wonder how the Fool really feels about Molly. Is he jealous? Does he compare himself to this woman Fitz idolises and he doesn’t know? Does he know that Fitz is barking up the wrong tree or is he stuck thinking Molly must really be Fitz’s soulmate since he won’t shut up about how much he loves her and can’t wait to get back to her? He just never really lets on how it makes him feel when Fitz has relationships with women. We know Fitz gets jealous of the Fool (for litch rally like no reason lol), so with the Fool being much more honest with himself/in general about his love for Fitz and having much more legitimate reason to be jealous, is he? Or is it just something he’s made his peace with, that these women give Fitz something that he cannot? Is he okay with that cos he has to be or does he have a different, less monogamous view of love and relationships (he does have three parents after all). I dunnoooo dude I just have so many questions. Like obviously - OBVIOUSLY - if Fitz and the Fool didn’t have romantic feelings for each other before, there is no doubting that romantic feelings appeared the moment Fitz appeared in the Fool’s hut. Fitz won’t admit that but mere chapters later the Fool is talking about how he loves Fitz in every way so like. He knows. So how does he feel when Fitz is calling out for Molly in his sleep, or openly speaking of seeking her out when all this is over, and lying to the Fool to protect Molly and his daughter. Really makes u think!!!!

Fitz reuniting with Sooty and going to see her every day in Jhaampe is so cuuuute and made me so happy. Sooty is a good girl :’)

Fitz be like *leans against the table where the Fool is carving and watches his fingers at work like a true repressed gay*

Verity is literally so strong???? He submerged himself in skill and was able to pull himself back from the stream can u imagine? Go off king!

Bro I literally can’t with the Fool mentioning Jofron so casually and Fitz immediately thinking wow oh my god they’re definitely fucking oh my god the Fool has a girlfriend - Fitz sweetie calm down

I love how Fitz and the Fool just naturally walk together :))) and Nighteyes babysitting Kettle is so cute

Molly never once says that she misses Fitz. She says she always expected him to do the right thing, to come after her and not leave her alone with a child. But she doesn’t look back on their time together fondly or have much positive to say about him as a person. And all that is fair, but it’s also just… Not really the behaviour of someone who’s been separated from their soulmate. It’s more just someone who’s been left in a shitty position by someone they cared about but hardly knew.

Fitz asking the Fool what is between him and Starling when they’re literally just being civil is sooooo fucking funny. Not everyone finds the Fool as irresistible as you do, Fitz.

The Fool just casually finding a pretext to call Fitz the light of his life

Fitz telling Kettricken firmly that he will not travel if the Fool is ill is one of the only times he ever puts his foot down with her GEE I WONDER WHY

I’ve said it before I’ll say it again…… there really do be something about the way Fitz can’t meet the Fool’s eyes………. It’s not like they’re weird and colourless anymore like they used to be!!!

The Fool already talking about Clerres in this book!

Fitz and the Fool and Nighteyes playing in the stream is too fucking pure omg, it’s what they deserve

And then Starling has to bloody ruin it bc she’s homophobique

But seriously, Fitz actually lets go for the first time in ages and has a nice evening only for Starling to go tattling to Kettricken, and Kettricken having the gall to confront Fitz about it. And then Fitz solves the problem by saying he doesn’t disdain her when like!! He has every right to!!!! She sold him out, sold his daughter out. She never even apologised but instead has just been totally petty and self-righteous and stirring up trouble amongst the group. She hasn’t earned or even asked for his forgiveness. So fitting that she’s the one constantly judging Fitz for his relationship with Lord Golden in Tawny Man lol, she just cannot let Fitz and the Fool be the queer icons they are!!!

Verrrrrrrrrrry interesting that Fitz only “suddenly missed the human warmth and comfort” of Starling taking his arm or sleeping against him literally IMMEDIATELY after the plumbing and love confrontation with the Fool. I mean he has been doing all of those things with the Fool (sleeping together, walking arm in arm etc.) so it’s not about human touch at all, it’s about convincing himself that a WOMAN’S touch is somehow inherently different.

He does the same thing with Starling as with Kettricken. She technically apologises but it’s not sincere and that’s not why he forgives her. Same as Kettricken, she tells her sob story and he can’t hold onto his anger. It makes sense, but it’s just very toxic. It would be nice if at least one person would really recognise how much they’ve hurt Fitz and really, genuinely want to atone for it, or apologise without expecting forgiveness. The onus should not be on Fitz to forgive Starling but on Starling to grow up and not need Fitz to like her in order to remain civil and do what they have to. Also “I do not find your wit bond offensive” has the same energy as someone telling you out of nowhere like “It’s fine that you’re gay :)” like wow thank u?? lol

Fitz is Demisexual, Exhibit C: “I wanted her with a desperation that had nothing to do with love, and even, I believe, little to do with lust.”

“By his love he is betrayed, and his love betrayed also.” So fate agrees with me, Fitz and the Fool are in love? :)

Anytime the potential that Fitz might have to choose between Molly and Nighteyes I lose brain cells. That’s ur brother Fitz!!! It’s not even a choice!! How dare u

It’s just sooooo intentionally laid out for us in this book that Fitz’s relationship with Molly really wasn’t good or healthy and that his fixation on it is misguided, and I think that’s why I struggled sooooo hard with the ending of Fool’s Fate, because it kind of implied the exact opposite. I’m hoping on this reread I will pick up on it being laid out as a result of Fitz getting his memories/teen feelings back rather than it just feeling like a lowkey retcon, but I guess we’ll see lol

“I felt I was a bit in love with him, you know. That sort of lift to the heart.” the confirmation that the Fool KNOWS HOW IT FEELS TO BE IN LOVE sends me deep into the swamps goodbyeeeeeeeeeeee

“The one who loves him best will betray him most foully.” So fate agrees, the Fool loves Fitz best :)

“You do love me! … Before, it was words. I always feared it was born out of pity.” Godddddd Foooooooooool!!!!!!!!!!! 

Everything about Fitz, the Fool and Nighteyes meeting in the skill for the first time is just truly perfect iconic unparalleled.

Fitz’s love for Verity hurts my heart so much. Just think of the relationship they could have had if they weren’t stupid royals.

Kettle’s whole speech about Fitz and Molly… Just yes to every word.

Look I’m just gonna say it… The way Burrich reacts to Molly’s advances … like I know it’s probably not intentional but it just reads as very much fitting in with my headcanon that he is gay. As soon as she makes it clear she wants to sleep with him he like leaps across the room lol. I do believe he cares for her and loves her in his way, but it does feel mostly like he’ll just do whatever he needs to to care for her and the baby.  Sowwy

I wonder why the Fool wasn’t as affected by his giving up of memories to Girl-on-a-Dragon?? Or was he, and he just gets them back before we see him again in Tawny Man?

“Take my hurt that I never knew my father, take my hours of staring up at his portrait when the great hall was empty and I could do so alone.” um this is so fucking sad

It was the Fool who sent Starling to find Fitz after Verity uses his body and again I have to ask, wtf is going on in your mind, Fool!

Fitz is Demisexual, Exhibit D: Even once he actually sleeps with Starling he has no enthusiasm about it, he just kind of goes along with it, likely to prove to himself that he has really let go of his past/Molly. 

I always wonder why the Fool leaves now. Is it because he thinks their work is done and doesn’t want to risk messing things up by hanging around his catalyst like at the end of Tawny Man? Does he intend to come back and find Fitz again but get sidetracked by a lead or a new dream? Like it’s just weird because at first he was like “Prophet and Catalyst stick together” and was gonna stay with Fitz - or was that just an excuse because he was obsessed with Girl-on-a-Dragon? Fool u spicy lil enigma

It’s blood and the wit that wakes the stone dragons so does that mean King Wisdom was witted? Or is that obvious lol

Fitz isn’t even bothered by the Fool’s kiss, just shocked. I am looking.

Patience shouting orders at Verity-as-Dragon is beautiful ksjjk

Of courrrrrssse Burrich names his first son Chivalry

In the epilogue, the Fool is the only one Fitz actually says he misses. Exquisite.

I know some people have an issue with Regal’s death but personally I find it delicious

Okay that’s all (I say as if this wasn’t 139841989 pages long). See y’all in 92 years when my sister finally starts reading Liveship!

[popculty]

52 Films by Women: 2020 Edition

Another annual challenge complete!

Last year, I focused on diversifying my list. This year I kept that intention but focused on watching more non-American films and films from the 20th century. Specifically, I sought out Agnès Varda’s entire filmography, after her death in 2019. (I was not disappointed - What a filmmaking legend we lost.) 

I also kept a film log for the first time and have included some of my thoughts on several films from that log. I made a point of including reviews both positive and negative, because I think it’s important to acknowledge the variability and breadth of the canon, so as not to put every film directed by a woman on a pedestal. (Although movies directed by women must clear a much higher bar to be greenlit, meaning generally higher quality...But that’s an essay for another day :)

* = directed by a woman of color

bold = fave

1. The Rhythm Section (2020) dir. Reed Morano - Not as good as it could have been, given Morano’s proven skill behind the camera, but also not nearly as bad as the critics made it out to be. And unbelievably refreshing to see a female revenge story not driven by sexual assault or the loss of a husband/child.

2. Cléo de 5 à 7 (1962) dir. Agnès Varda - If you ever wanted to take a real-time tour of Paris circa 1960, this is the film for you.

3. Little Women (2019) dir. Greta Gerwig - Still my favorite Little Women adaptation. I will re-watch it every year and cry.

4. Varda by Agnès (2019) dir. Agnès Varda & Didier Rouget

5. Booksmart (2019) dir. Olivia Wilde - An instant classic high school comedy romp that subverts all the gross tropes of its 1980s predecessors.

6. Girls of the Sun (2018) dir. Eva Husson

7. Blue My Mind (2017) dir. Lisa Brühlmann

8. Portrait of a Lady On Fire (2019) dir. Céline Sciamma - Believe the hype. This film is a master thesis on the female gaze, and also just really effing gorgeous.

9. Belle Epine (2010) dir. Rebecca Zlotowski

10. Vamps (2012) dir. Amy Heckerling - With Krysten Ritter and Alicia Silverstone as modern-day vampires, I was so ready for this movie. But it feels like a bad stage play or a sit-com that’s missing a laugh-track. Bummer.

11. *Birds of Prey (2020) dir. Cathy Yan - Where has this movie been all our lives?? Skip the next onslaught of Snyder-verse grim-darkery and give me two more of these STAT! 

12. She’s Missing (2019) dir. Alexandra McGuinness

13. The Mustang (2019) dir. Laure de Clermont-Tonnere - Trigger warning for the “protagonist” repeatedly punching a horse in the chest. I noped right out of there.

14. Monster (2003) dir. Patty Jenkins – I first watched this movie when I was probably too young and haven’t revisited it since. The rape scene traumatized me as a kid, but as an adult I appreciate how that trauma is not the center of the movie, or even of Aileen’s life. Everyone still talks about how Charlize “went ugly” for this role, but the biggest transformation here isn’t aesthetic, it’s physical – the way Theron replicates Wuernos’ mannerisms, way of speaking, and physicality. That’s why she won the Oscar. I also love that Jenkins calls the film “Monster” (which everyone labels Aileen), but then actually uses it to tell the story of how she fell in love with a woman when she was at her lowest, and that saved her. That’s kind of beautiful, and I’m glad I re-watched it so that I could see the story in that light, instead of the general memory I had of it being a good, feel-bad movie. It’s so much more than that.

15. Water Lilies (2007) dir. Céline Sciamma – Sciamma’s screenwriting and directorial debut, the first in her trilogy on youth, is as painfully beautiful as its sequels (Tomboy and Girlhood). It’s also one of the rare films that explores the overlap of queerness and girl friendships.

16. The Trouble with Angels (1966) dir. Ida Lupino – Movies about shenanigan-based female friendships are such rare delights. Rosalind Russel is divine as Mother Superior, and Hayley Mills as “scathingly brilliant” as the pranks she plays on her. Ida Lupino’s skill as an editor only enhances her directing, providing some truly iconic visual gags to complement dialogue snappy enough for Gilmore Girls. 

17. Vagabond (1985) dir. Agnès Varda – Shot with a haunting realism, this film has no qualms about its heroine’s inevitable, unceremonious death, which it opens with, matter-of-factly, before retracing her final (literal) steps to the road-side ditch she ends up in. (I’m partly convinced said heroine was the inspiration for Sarah Manning in Orphan Black.)

18. One Sings, The Other Doesn’t (1977) dir. Agnès Varda – Probably my favorite classic Varda, this film feels incredibly personal. It’s essentially a love story about two best friends with very different lives. For an indie made in the ‘70s, the diversity, scope, and themes of the film are impressive. Even if the second half a drags a bit, the first half is absolute perfection, engaging the viewer immediately, and clipping along, sprinkling in some great original songs that were way progressive for their time (about abortion, female bodily autonomy, etc) and could still be considered “bangers” today.

19. Emma (2020) dir. Autumn de Wilde

20. Black Panthers (1969) dir. Agnès Varda

21. Into the Forest (2016) dir. Patricia Rozema - When the world was ending (i.e. the pandemic hit) this was the first movie I turned to - a quiet, meditative story of two sisters (Elliot Page and Evan Rachel Wood) surviving off the land after a sudden global blackout. Four years later, it’s still one of my favorite book-to-screen adaptations. I fondly remember speaking with director Patricia Rozema at the 2016 Chicago Critics Film Festival after a screening, her love for the source material and desire to “get it right” so apparent. I assured her then, and reaffirm now, that she really did.

22. City of Trees (2019) dir. Alexandra Swarens

23. Never Rarely Sometimes Always (2020) dir. Eliza Hittmann - To call this a harrowing and deeply personal journey of a sixteen-year-old who must cross state lines to get an abortion would be accurate, but incomplete. It is a story so much bigger than that, about the myriad ways women’s bodies and boundaries are constantly violated.

24. Paradise Hills (2019) dir. Alice Waddington

25. *Eve’s Bayou (1996) dir. Kasi Lemmons – I’ve been meaning to watch Kasi Lemmons’ directorial debut for many years now, and I’m so glad I finally have, because it fully deserves its icon status, beyond being one of the first major films directed by a black woman. Baby Jurnee Smollett's talent was immediately recognizable, and she has reminded us of it in Birds of Prey and Lovecraft Country this year. If merit was genuinely a factor for Oscar contenders, she would have taken home gold at eleven years old. Beasts of the Southern Wild has been one of my all-time favorites, but now I realize that most of my appreciation for that movie actually goes to Lemmons for blazing the trail with her story of a young black girl from the bayou first. It’s also a surprisingly dark story about memory and abuse and familial relationships that cross lines - really gutsy and surprising themes, especially for the ‘90s.

26. Blow the Man Down (2019) dir. Bridget Savage Cole & Danielle Krudy - Come and get your sea shanty fix!

27. Touchy Feely (2013) dir. Lynn Shelton - R.I.P. :(

28. Hannah Gadsby: Douglas (2020) dir. Madeleine Parry - If you thought Gadsby couldn’t follow up 2018′s sensational Nanette with a comedy special just as sharp and hilarious, you would have been sorely mistaken.

29. Girlhood (2013) dir. Céline Sciamma

30. Breathe (2014) dir. Mélanie Laurent

31. *A Dry White Season (1989) dir. Euzhan Palcy

32. Laggies (2014) dir. Lynn Shelton

33. *The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood – Everything I’ve ever wanted in an action movie: Immortal gays, Charlize Theron wielding a labrys (battle axe), kinetic fight choreography I haven’t seen since the last Bond movie…Watched it twice, then devoured the comics it was adapted from, and I gotta say: in the hands of black women, it eclipses the source material. Cannot wait for the just-announced sequel.

34. Morvern Callar (2002) dir. Lynn Ramsay

35. Shirley (2020) dir. Josephine Decker

36. *Radioactive (2019) dir. Marjane Satrapi – The story is obviously well worth telling and the narrative structure – weaving in the future consequences of Curie’s discoveries – is clever, but a bit awkwardly executed and overly manipulative. There are glimpses of real brilliance throughout, but it feels as if the director’s vision was not fully realized, to my great disappointment. Nonetheless, I appreciated seeing Marie Curie's story being told by a female director and embodied by the always wonderful Rosamund Pike.

37. *The Half of It (2020) dir. Alice Wu - I feel like a real scrooge for saying this, but this movie did nothing for me. Nothing about it felt fresh, authentic or relatable. A real disappointment from the filmmaker behind the wlw classic Saving Face.

38. Mouthpiece (2018) dir. Patricia Rozema - I am absolutely floored. One of those films that makes you fall in love with the art form all over again. Patricia Rozema continues to prove herself one of the most creatively ambitious and insightful directors of our time, with this melancholic meditation on maternal grief and a woman’s duality.

39. Summerland (2020) dir. Jessica Swale - The rare period wlw love story that is not a) all-white or b) tragedy porn. Just lovely.

40. *The Last Thing He Wanted (2020) dir. Dee Rees – As rumored, a mess. Even by the end, I still couldn’t tell you who any of the characters are. Dee, we know you’re so much better than this! (see: Mudbound, Pariah)

41. *Cuties (2020) dir. Maïmouna Doucouré – I watched this film to 1) support a black woman director who has been getting death threats for her work and 2) see what all the fuss is about. While I do think there were possibly some directorial choices that could have saved quite a bit of the pearl-clutching, overall, I didn’t find it overly-exploitative or gross, as many (who obviously haven’t actually watched the film) have labeled it. It certainly does give me pause, though, and makes me wonder whether children can ever be put in front of a camera without it exploiting or causing harm to them in some way. It also makes one consider the blurry line between being a critique versus being an example. File this one under complicated, for sure.

42. A Call to Spy (2019) Lydia Dean Pilcher – An incredible true story of female spies during WWII that perfectly satisfied my itch for British period drama/spy thriller and taught me so much herstory I didn’t know.

43. Kajillionaire (2020) dir. Miranda July - I was lucky enough to attend the (virtual) premiere of this film, followed by an insightful cast/director Q&A, which only made me appreciate it more. July's offbeat dark comedy about a family of con artists is queerer and more heartfelt than it has any right to be, and a needed reprieve in a year of almost entirely white wlw stories. The family's shenanigans are the hook, but it's the budding relationship between Old Dolio (an almost unrecognizable Evan Rachel Wood) and aspiring grifter Melanie (the luminous Gina Rodriguez) that is the heart of the story.

44. Misbehaviour (2020) dir. Philippa Lowthorpe – Again, teaching me herstory I didn’t know, about how the Women’s Liberation Movement stormed the 1970 Miss World Pageant. Keira Knightley and Gugu Mbatha-Raw’s characters have a conversation in a bathroom at the end of the film that perfectly eviscerates well-meaning yet ignorant white feminism, without ever pitting women against each other - a feat I didn’t think was possible. I also didn’t think it was possible to critique the male gaze without showing it (*ahem Cuties, Bombshell, etc*), but this again, invents a way to do it. Bless women directors.

45. *All In: The Fight for Democracy (2020) dir. Liz Garbus and Lisa Cortes – 2020’s 13th. Thank god for Stacey Abrams, that is all.

46. *The 40-Year-Old Version (2020) dir. Radha Blank – This scene right here? I felt that in my soul. This whole film is so good and funny and heartfelt and relatable to any artist trying to walk that tightrope of “making it” while not selling their soul to make it. My only initial semi-note was that it’s a little long, but after hearing Radha Blank talk about how she fought for the two-hour run-time as a way of reclaiming space for older black women, I take it back. She’s right: Let black women take up space. Let her movie be as long as she wants it to be. GOOD FOR HER.

47. Happiest Season (2020) dir. Clea Duvall - Hoooo boy. What was marketed as the first lesbian Christmas rom-com is actually a horror movie for anyone who’s ever had to come out. Throw in casual racism and a toxic relationship treated as otp, and it’s YIKES on so many levels. Aubrey Plaza, Dan Levy, and an autistic-coded Jane are the only (underused) highlights.

48. *Monkey Beach (2020) dir. Loretta Todd

49. *Little Chief (2020) dir. Erica Tremblay – A short film part of the 2020 Red Nation Film Festival, it’s a perfect eleven minutes that I wish had gone on longer, if only to bask in Lily Gladstone in a leading role.

50. First Cow (2019) dir. Kelly Reichardt – I know Kelly Reichardt’s style, so I’ll admit-- even as I was preparing for an excellent film, I was also reaching for my phone, planning on only half paying attention during all the inevitable 30-second shots of grass blowing in the wind. (And yes, there are plenty of those.) But twenty minutes in, my phone was set aside and forgotten, as I am getting sucked into this beautiful story about two frontiersman trying to live their best domestic life.There is only one word to describe this film and that is: PURE. I’ve never seen such a tender platonic relationship between men on screen before, and it’s not lost on me that it took a woman to show us that tenderness. Reichardt gives us two men brought together by fate, and kept together by a shared dream and the simple pleasure of not being alone in such a hard world; two men who spend their days cooking, trapping, baking, and dreaming of a better life; two men who don’t say much, but feel everything for each other. The world would be a much better place if men showed us this kind of vulnerability and friendship toward each other. Oh, and it’s also a brutal take-down of capitalism and the myth of the American Dream!

51. Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) dir. Patty Jenkins - My most-anticipated film for the past two years was...well, a mixed bag, to say the least. Too many thoughts on it for a blog post, so stay tuned for the upcoming podcast ep where we go all in ;)

52. *Selah and the Spades (2019) dir. Tayarisha Poe

I hope this gives you some ideas to kick off your new year with a resolution to support more female directors!

What were your favorite women-directed movies of last year? Let me know in the tags, comments, or asks!

[jordm]

Heartland 14x03 - Making Amends

We get to see Lily, with flashbacks of her saying of what a good place she’s in... but we know thats not likely to last so, here we gooo

Ps. I love Megan Follows

So far i’m really loving the introduction with Amy just standing there with Lyndy watching the horses. So simple, yet this is something I can see Amber doing with the Spencer twins at her own farm. It’s like they told Amber to just hang out with Lyndy in between scenes and happened to be there to film it. Love the simplicity of it all, with Spartan and the newly and aptly named Shadow. 

As a total side note, i love Amy’s hair in a braid. It’s such a nice change from her hair being loosely down.

Anyways, Lily is here - or rather, Nana! And Amy does not look impressed. Lily was not there for any of the major events, even the funeral and Amy feels abandoned after Lily and Wade flat out ignored Amy’s attempts to reach out. Frankly, I don’t blame Amy - not attending your only child’s funeral and ignoring your daughter in law when they could have used their support. However I don’t doubt that Lily had a valid reason - perhaps a relapse - that she’s hiding and once Amy calms down she might be amenable to listening. The good news is, Lily wants to talk, and Amy wants to listen... she just needs to get over her anger first.

Jack goes to confront Lily and Lily confesses that she fell off the wagon... and hard when Jack told her about Ty’s death. And that’s understandable - if she can’t even help herself how can she be there for other people? She even ended up in the hospital. She’s sorry, and Amy is sorry but will it be enough? Just when it seems like things are slowly getting better, Lily mis-steps. 

Should she have offered the money? No. 

Should she have listened to Amy and not let Howler race? Also no.

HOWEVER, is she right that Amy should consider seeing professional therapy? Also yes. Sometimes an outside sounding board or someone you can yell at with no stake in it helps or gives perspective.

Despite Lily’s insistence that she did not come just for Amy to work with the new race horse Howler (Amy is not believing her), Amy agrees to work with the horse. Hey, even we even get a Cass mention. We may not see Cass but we hear that she’s busy being a new mom... so that’s uh something. I know Kaitlyn Leeb wasn’t on set at all this season so it’s still nice to know that Heartland is acknowledging her existence. 

After some research, Amy learns that Howler is spooked because he witnessed a fellow race horse crash into the barrier and he’s traumatized to be around any railings. Hey, doesn’t this ring a bell about the current theme of the season? Everyone has traumas, everyone has demons and everyone is still dealing with Ty’s death in their own way. Everyone is coping and dealing with it in a different way as they all had different relationship with Ty.

Chad, a big travel blogger, according to Lou, wants to interview her in part of Lou’s mission to make Hudson the new tourist city - but something tells me that this won’t good as smoothly as she anticipates. She convinces Jen to work the weekend to get the dude ranch in shape and look who else is here... PETER! When Chad also arrives, Lou conveniently gets a last minute meeting and pushes Jen into showing Chad around and Jen isn’t happy. I also don’t blame her - she already had to change her plans twice because of Lou. 

Lou gets her amazing blog post by Chad, but the townspeople (unfairly) criticize her for fulfilling her one election promise - to put Hudson on the map - because of course she wants to increase tourism - her family has business in Hudson and it shows she’s not fully committed to the town. Is the criticism fair? No, not entirely, but at a certain point if you’re in politics you gotta just shut out the noise right? You will never be able to make everyone happy.

Side note: Jen and Peter broke up? GG Jen, it was nice knowing you. I hope the writers don’t put Lou and Peter back together they are so much better as co-parents!

This leads to an argument between Amy and Lou that while Lou the mayor is evident, Lou the sister is not. Amy needs her sister and Lou, while being busy with town with the positive of avoiding facing her feelings about Ty’s death, has just not been around. Lou lost a friend and a brother in law and Lou is dealing with her grief by refusing to think about it - denial. I hope to see more of how Lou deals with her grief.

We saw how Amy tried to talk to Lou while working with Howler, only for Lou to be pulled away, so I see where Amy is coming from. Likely, as Jack says, Amy’s anger is that she feels like other people are avoiding what she feels everyday and she feels it’s unfair and people are making excuses. Fact is though, everyone is grieving the loss of a loved one the only way they know how - and while they may not completely understand how the other is grieving, I do think a little understanding would go a long way (without feeling sorry for the other person).

Meanwhile Parker is running around turning off lights trying to save their eco footprint, to Jack’s annoyance. She suggests the idea of solar panels (my uncle has solar panels and it does save a lot of money!) and while Jack doesn’t love the idea, Lisa is into it. However, eventually Parker coaxes Jack to buy solar panels and i’m beginning to love their relationship! 

By the end of the episode, Jack is fed up with Parker when she gives him the wrong measurements and tells Parker that people on the ranch are dealing with much bigger things that solar panels. Harsh, i mean but... not false. Parker was just there in the wrong place at the wrong time and I don’t think Jack really meant to lash out at Parker that badly. 

It ends with a giant explosion. Is Lily going to be okay? My gut says yes. Imagine if Lily dies and the guilt Amy will have on top of it since she told Lily to go away. That won’t be pretty.

However, I do believe Lily will be okay and the next episode is the explosion where they work together to save the horses, so I am looking forward to seeing how the explosion works to make amends between the family.

I also hope that all the horse cases for the rest of the season don’t have to do with grief and maybe allow Amy to have some fun and learn new skills. I’d hate it every horse had a trauma related to death - I know its supposed to relate back to Ty’s death but we can have an episode where Amy has fun one time right?

[shuahoonie]

you. [tom holland] - six.

PAIRING: tom holland x female!celebrity!reader

SUMMARY: ah, to be young and in love. it sounds great if only you and tom were actually dating out of pure love and not for the sheer reputation of your careers. it also should be great if you two actually got along, but life isn’t that easy.

WARNINGS: mostly swearing! mentions of alcohol! a bit of fluff, a bit of angst. it’s haters to lovers / fake dating au so take that information as you wish! 

WORD COUNT: 2735

SONG INSPO: can’t take my eyes off you - emilie mover 

A/N: hiya babes, again, sorry if this chapter is posted very late. i have absolutely no excuses this time, it’s just me really. times are tough and if i’m being honest, i’ve had a rough couple of weeks. my academics really hit me in the worst possible way and i’m really am sorry if i wasn’t able to uphold my promises to post over the break. 🥺 also, beware of my plot timeline! i had a rough plan that i wanted this to take place during pre-ffh days! anyway, enjoy chapter six and happy reading! x 

UPDATES EVERY SATURDAY 11 PM CST WHENEVER I CAN  [I’M TRYING TO POST EVERY SATURDAY, I REALLY AM]

gif credits: @parkerpunology

vanessa’s masterlist | preview | one | two | three | four | five | seven | eight | eight.5 [interview excerpt] 

Two months. You and Tom were already dating for two months. The last two months were a whirlwind for both of you, more so for you. Once the news broke out that you and Tom were dating, it was expected that people would lose their minds over it. 

However, like how news typically withholds its relevance these days, it died down a week after. You both actually didn’t mind it since it put you two at ease. You and Tom see each other for thrice a week, dropping a few nuggets that you two are together. 

Some days, Tom would drop by at your filming location. 

“Y/N,” Steven, a stunt coordinator, sang your name with a teasing look painted on his face. “Guess who’s here.” He was helping you with your scene, making sure that you were safe as you did your stunts.

“Please tell me it’s Charlotte with my phone,” You moaned as you fixed your shirt as Steven began unbuckling your harness. You were standing on top of a high platform and had just finished doing your stunt for the show, the Alchemist. 

“Honey, do you think I’d be this excited if it was your assistant with your phone?” Steven rolled his eyes. “It’s your loverboy,” He teased, pointing to a figure. 

Based on the state of altitude you were in, you could practically see everybody. You can see some of the crew were busy with fixing the set for the following scene. You could see the producer busy speaking to whoever’s on the other side of the phone. You could also see your ‘loverboy’ talking to the director. 

Tom was standing next to Alissa, the director, as they talked animatedly. He was wearing a grey shirt that hugged his body like a second skin and a pair of black joggers. He looked very casual, but as much as you hated to admit it, he still looked good. 

Catching your gaze, Tom gave you a smile and a wave. 

You were still getting used to the idea that you were seeing him, so you turned your head as fast as you could. It’s as if your crush caught you staring at him in middle school. 

Steven let out a small giggle, “You guys are so cute. You two are like grade-schoolers.” 

“Oh, shush.” You said as you felt your face burn, embarrassed that Steven caught what just happened. 

“Shush yourself, hon,” Steven laughed “It seems like Tom found it absolutely adorable.” 

You turned your head back to look at Tom and there with his arms crossed, he was laughing softly. He had his complete attention on you. 

You signalled him to give you a minute as you descend from the platform to greet your ‘boyfriend’. 

Seeing that you both were actors, you had to use your skill sometimes.

“Tommy,” You’ve grown to love that nickname for Tom, knowing that he absolutely despised it. “What are you doing here?” You asked, your tone sickeningly sweet, as you greeted him with a hug. 

For a moment, his eyes flickered upon hearing the nickname you just called him. “Came here to surprise you, princess.” He said with a smirk as he squeezed you in a hug. He knew you hated that nickname too. It was obvious that you two were playing the same game. 

“Oh, but you didn’t have to, Tommy,” You said with a huge smile, the words practically gritting in between your teeth.

“I know,” He replied. What he did next caught you off-guard being that you two never really displayed that amount of PDA out in the open. “However, I do miss my girlfriend and I wanted to surprise her.” He said before he held the side of your face and placed a soft kiss on your cheek. 

Boy, you were surprised alright. 

Some days, you would drop by at Tom’s filming locations. 

Tom had just finished his scene with Jake Gyllenhaal. You decided to visit your ‘boyfriend’ at his set for Far From Home. As soon as the director yelled cut, Tom caught your eye and gave you a wave.

“Are you getting bored, babe?” You turned to the figure who just asked you the question and saw Zendaya wearing her MJ clothes. You’ve grown a huge liking towards Tom’s castmates ever since Tom introduced you to them, especially Zendaya since she’s been nothing but nice to you. 

You gave Zendaya a small smile and shook your head no. You’ve sat and watched them shoot for a little over two hours now, and it was only reasonable that he’d ask how you were doing. 

“You know, you two are absolutely adorable.” She commented as she gave you a playful nudge, sitting next to you. 

“We’re absolutely not,” You chuckled, feeling shy.

“It’s true,” Zendaya laughed “Tom seems like he’s at his happiest whenever he’s with you.” 

As if on cue, Tom started jogging his way towards you and Zendaya with a huge smile on his face. 

“Hi, princess,” Tom engulfed you with a huge hug. “Are you still good? What are you two laughing at?” He asked in the middle of the hug. 

The intimacy you two had to show in public was still something you had to work on-not so much for Tom though. You weren’t used to displaying affection even when you used to date your ex.

“Oh, we’re just laughing at you.” You said nonchalantly, a teasing smile hanging off your lips. 

“Me? Why me?” 

“Because you’ve got it bad for Y/N,” Zendaya answered cheekily, “You’re happier around your girlfriend, Tom.” 

“Yeah, that’s true.” Tom acknowledged making you roll your eyes playfully. “I am at my best whenever I’m around Y/N.” He said as cupped the sides of your face and planted a small kiss on the top of your nose.

You begged to differ. Tom had to act like he’s at his happiest whenever he’s around you. 

“Liv, I look ridiculous. I don’t even have the boobs for this.” You said as you finished putting on the bridesmaid dress and examined your chest, as the dress sported a deep v-neck. You and Veronica were standing in front of a mirror, wearing a floor-length burgundy chiffon dress. 

“Shut up, Y/N,” Veronica said as she fixed the delicately pinned flowers on your hair. “You look great, I think Tom might actually fall in love with you.” Ronnie teased. 

“Fuck off, Ronnie.” You mumbled. “I can’t believe you actually let me invite him, Liv.” You told Olivia, who was busy getting into her wedding dress. 

“Uh, of course. He’s your boyfriend, ‘ya doof.” Olivia, who was putting on her dress behind the dressing panel, said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Also can you two help me with my dress? I need someone to zip me up.” Liv went out wearing a gorgeous wedding dress. It was an off-shoulder sweetheart cut white dress with touches of lace and glimmer. 

“Oh, you look gorgeous, Liv.” Veronica sighed as she stared at Olivia with tears brimming her eyes. “I still can’t believe you’re getting married this soon, girl.” 

“I know,” Olivia agreed, fixing her hair, “but I just love him you know? He makes me a better person. I’ve never felt love like this before.” She said while trying to fight off the tears that were forming on her eyes. 

You and Veronica rushed in to give Olivia a huge hug, tears were close to shedding and all of you didn’t want to sit in the makeup chair again. 

You were so sure that Olivia was rushing to get married, that maybe she wasn’t thinking things through. However, as you saw your best friend be at the happiest she’s ever been, you figured that getting married was probably the most adamant decision Olivia has ever made. 

At 24, Olivia found herself in the arms of the person she’s bound to spend her whole life with. 

“I gotta walk down that aisle before I ruin my makeup completely,” Olivia said half-jokingly, fanning herself. 

And so she did. Olivia managed to walk down the aisle without completely crying her makeup off, Josh, however, lost it. He was fully sobbing as soon as he saw Olivia walk. 

You couldn’t help but smile at the sight of the two of them, you saw two people so full of love that the only way to express it was to cry. 

As the ceremony proceeded on, your thoughts were somewhere else. You’ve always wondered if ever you’ll find someone who’ll make you feel the same way as them, that tears would start falling because you were so in love.

However, that would have to wait as you were currently tied with the person you were sure you weren’t going to be in love with. Your gaze automatically went to Tom, who was coincidentally staring at you. You turned your attention back to the couple who were getting married in front of you, your cheeks burning. 

Your mind was about to come up with different possible reasons as to why Tom was staring at you, but you had to stop yourself. You don’t need that in your life. 

“You okay, Y/N?” Ronnie asked as she took a sip of her champagne. You nodded your head and finished your third glass of champagne. “Are you sure? Because I’ve known you long enough to know that you start to drink heavily when something’s bugging you.” 

The reception was over and the newly-wed couple has had their first dance as husband and wife. People were now just letting themselves loose on the dancefloor. 

“I’m fine, Ronnie,” You assured her as you called the waiter to give you another glass. “Don’t mind me, you know how weddings make me feel.” 

“Yes, which is why I’m terrified.” Veronica murmured. 

“Don’t be silly, Ronnie. I can handle myself really.” You said as you scanned the crowd. You saw Tom talking to a couple of girls, seeming like he was desperate to get out of the conversation as soon as possible. 

Soon enough, he caught you staring and it seemed like he was relieved to see you. Not long after, he was practically running to you. 

“Looks like prince charming is coming to get you,” Veronica chuckled as she grabbed her purse and drink from the table. “I’ll see you later, babe. Text me if you’re leaving.” 

“Where are you going and why are you leaving me?” You practically whined. Veronica wasn’t surprised, you were whiny after three drinks. 

“I have to go and meet Josh’s parents, they wanted to see me after mentioning that I was looking for a place that I could do my internship,” Ronnie explained “Besides, it looks like you’re going to be taken care of. If you aren’t, call me ASAP.” 

You huffed and dismissed your friend. As soon as Veronica left, Tom arrived at your table. 

“Oh, thank god I saw you Y/N. It was brutal out there, some people just can’t get a hint-”

“Why are you here?” You asked as soon as Tom sat down next to you. Tom was caught off-guard by your hostility. 

“I-uh, what?” Tom wasn’t really sure what’s happening, sure enough, what he did wrong to have you act this way. This wouldn’t be much of a surprise if he knew that he pressed your buttons way too many times, however, that wasn’t the case. 

“Aren’t you busy talking to those girls over there?” You asked, now grateful for the newly filled glass of champagne that was just handed to you. The waiter was about to give Tom too but he kindly refused. 

“Actually, I was desperate to leave the conversation. It was getting annoying and they kept insisting that I’m just dating you for clout.” Tom explained as he massaged his temples. 

“They weren’t lying.” You mumbled before taking a sip from your glass. “You looked like you were having fun though-which I didn’t mind, by the way.” 

“Y/N-”

“Tom, you know you can just leave all of this, right? Like no one is forcing you to stay this long because you won’t get the short end of the stick. It’s me who's going to get most of the damage.” 

“That’s not true, Y/N. I’m just as affected as you will be.” Tom stressed. “Where is this all coming from?” He asked, getting frustrated. 

Much like Tom, you were getting frustrated too. Why are you being hostile around him? It’s not like he’s actually dating you, you have no reason to act this way. 

“Alcohol makes me see things more clearly,” You muttered. It was all that you could say. After all, nothing was making sense for you.  

“That’s what got us in trouble in the first place,” He claimed as he grabbed your glass and placed it far away from you. Tom stood up and offered his hand to you. “Come, let’s dance. It’ll clear your head.” 

“I don’t want to,” You moaned as you threw your head back. “I planned on drinking so if you’re not going to join me, then just leave.”

Tom shook his head no. “I got a note from Ronnie that I need to stop you after three drinks and apparently, you’re on your fourth so ‘nough is enough, princess.” 

“Even if I’m not going to drink, I’m still not dancing with you.” You said as you crossed your arms. 

“Wanna bet?” You just sat there and listened. You were interested as there was no way in hell he can make you dance. 

“That wasn’t fair, you practically set me up.” You grumbled as Tom happily led you to the dance floor. The jig was if you stood up, you’re automatically going to dance with Tom. 

Being the ‘sneaky little shit’ (Veronica’s choice of words) that Tom was, he secretly texted Ronnie and asked her if she could potentially lure you into assisting her to the washrooms. 

You were skeptical at first, but you eventually obliged. It was Ronnie’s choice of words that made you do it. “Y/N, I swear to god, I’m about to pee. If you don’t help me unzip my dress, I will physically hurt you.” 

Tom was now short of 50 bucks because of that favour. 

“Oh, c’mon, princess. You know that isn’t true.” Tom tried to keep a straight face but obviously failed as he was now grinning at your annoyed face. 

“This is ridiculous, you know that I’m a horrible dancer right?” You said as Tom put your arms around his neck and he placed his hands on your waist. 

“I think I’ll manage, princess.” He chuckled. 

“No, I’m not kidding. You will leave with a huge bruise on your foot-feet. I might step on both of your feet, there’s a huge possibility.”

Tom stared at you for a moment before saying, “I guess it’s a price I’m willing to pay.”

They were playing a slower version of “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You” and you groaned softly. “What’s wrong, princess?” 

“You’ll never let that pet name go, won’t you?” You asked, rolling your eyes. 

“No, I don’t think I will.” He answered cheekily. 

You two slow danced to the melody of the song and you couldn’t help it but say, “God, I love this song. Why did they have to play it?”

“I guess it was meant to be- Oh god, it’s them again,” Tom said as he saw the girls who were trying to steal his attention all night. 

You took a look at the girls and sure enough, they were watching the two of you and were whispering amongst themselves. You didn’t know who they were so you were assuming they were on Josh’s guests. 

You weren’t one to start fights however, you were extremely petty though. It’s a habit you’re trying to get rid of. “Hey, Tom?” 

He hummed in response. “Do you want to finally get them off your back?” You asked him. He stared at you for a moment before nodding. 

“I’m going to do something but promise me you’ll forget it as soon as it’s done.” You disclosed, not even knowing why you’re actually going to do it. 

“Okay...” You knew he was getting curious. “What-”

You grabbed the side of his face and kissed the corner of his lips. To say that both of you were surprised was an understatement. 

TAGLIST:

@thomasthetankson @autty0314 @marvelous-tswiftfan @averyfosterthoughts @theolwebshooter @jackiehollanderr @sltwins @herondalescecilys @notjustpenandpaper @ihopethatwemeetinanotherlife @gothicwidowsworld @heartofholland @stxfxniexreads​ @peruvian-bae​ @hollands-osterfield​ @thenoddingbunny-blog​ @galacticstxrdust​ @sweartomendes​ @itsjstz​

Can’t tag:

@sectusempried

[miss-tc-nova]

Hey - Riku x Reader

Aha, Xeha-non! I tricked you! I wasn’t writing Roxas, I was writing Riku! It’s about time I gave this boy some love. 

~~~~~

               “Hey handsome.” I slide the book from the desk and take its place, grinning down at the boy. A snowy brow arches in response, before those teal orbs peer up at me. “Slackin’ on your homework?”

               “Maybe,” he grumbles. I display the text and he continues scribbling down his answers.

               “Ooo, even I got the homework done. You’re not tellin’ me I’m about to slip ahead on our grades are you?” I tease.

               He doesn’t even bother to look up. “Not even close.”

               I laugh. Of course it’s not. This kid could miss an entire month of school and still manage to beat me in almost every class. Not that I’m dumb or anything, he’s just that smart—now if only I could get him to realize that I’ve been hardcore flirting with him for over a year now.

               Riku and I have been neighbors since we were little. We were never really friends and that was fine by me; we only occasionally passed by each other on our way to school or in the halls. It wasn’t until we turned fourteen and actually had a class together that I lost my mind. He probably just views me as a mild nuisance at this point, but I can’t help myself around him anymore. He doesn’t acknowledge any of it though.

               The end-of-day bell rings and I stand up with a stretch. “Wha’chu think, Riku? Shall we do the project together?”

               “Hm?” Like a needle pricking at my heart, he wasn’t paying attention. “Oh, I mean we can. But it just sounds like you’re trying to keep that gap between us from getting bigger.” Gods, if I could turn that smirk into something sincere, I’d probably die happy.

               “Please. You may have me in maths and science, but you suck at English.”

               “I’m one grade below you. Also, what does telling a story have do with any career?”

               I count on my fingers. “Journalism, news, authors, basic communication skills.”

               “We’re communicating aren’t we?”

               “Barely.” Oh honey, there’s so much more than what we say…

               His eyes roll but we agree to meet tonight at six to work on this story we’re supposed to write. I waste the day away mulling over this nonsense between us. Clearly this boy isn’t going to get the hint; I could probably kiss him and he would just blow it off as an accident. Yet I still can’t tell if it’s because he’s not interested or just strangely oblivious to flirting. Eventually, I admit defeat—I’m going to have to just flat out tell him. I decide it’d be best to do it tonight, when there’s time for us to talk it out; though that does put me at risk for making this project insanely awkward. I suck it up and plan my words out for the end of the night until six rolls around.

               I pull open the door to find my classmate there, staring out at the horizon. “Hey handsome.” There’s still time to drop plenty of hints before the night ends, but he doesn’t respond. “You okay?” There are some gloomy looking clouds in the distance.

               “Uh, yeah,” he replies, shaking it off. “Let’s get this dumb project done.”

               “And here I thought you just enjoyed my company,” I say, letting him in.

               We start to flesh out a basic a plot for this adventure short, all the while he keeps glancing out the window at the approaching storm. I, on the other hand, am starting to feel the nerves gnaw at my gut.

               “Are you sure you’re alright?” I ask, pulling his attention from the window for the umpteenth time since we started.

               Looking away from his distraction, Riku scribbles on his paper. “Yeah.”

               He’s not going to tell me what’s bothering him. Perhaps it’s time to tell him what’s bothering me instead.

               “Hey Riku?” He hums that that he’s listening before meeting my gaze. This could be it: the end of my endeavors, the end of my shenanigans, possibly the end of a friendship. Here goes nothing.

               Taking a deep breath, I open my mouth to start again, but the storm lets us know that it’s here.

               When the lightning flashes, Riku abruptly stands. “I gotta go.”

               “What?” I stand with him but he heads for the door.

               “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” All those worries he’s been holding back all night have finally broken through. He hurriedly shoves his feet into his shoes.

               “But-” The boy rips the door open and takes off down the street, not even in the direction of his home. I stand in the doorway, stunned, confused, and a little heart-broken. “…Be safe.”

               The storm that night was terrible.

~~~~~

A year later…

               This last year or so has been kind of dreary. Since that storm hit, three kids disappeared from our islands. Days were spent searching, but only the ocean could’ve kept them hidden from us for so long. Then we came across a miracle; some weeks after their disappearance, Kairi had been found on the beach of the smaller island. From what I heard, she had been groggy and confused for a while, but remembered nothing of what happened. As for Sora and Riku, we never found them.

               I was upset for a long time but time heals all wounds supposedly. In reality, I’d just learned to think about it less and went about life. There wasn’t anything else I could’ve done. Even if my heart is still hung up on him, it’s not like I can bring him back. So, on the surface, I take my dreary days the same as my normal ones: one step at a time, no matter how hard the next step is.

               Nope. Don’t think about it.

               Clearing my head of memories I don’t have time to dwell on, I brush the hair from my eyes and readjust the bag of groceries in my arms. It’s Friday, school’s out, I’ve just done my shopping for the week, and now it’s time to go home and relax.

               “Hey.”

               My body freezes before I turn to person I just passed. He’s a tall, young man, his muscular arms bare. The first instinct is to put some space between us, but that mop of white hair is unmistakable; sure it’s longer than it was but it’s his.

               “Riku?” I breathe, afraid to believe it is. Have I finally lost it?

               His aqua eyes are just visible beneath that mess. “It’s been a while,” he tells me.

               That voice; it’s the same and it still makes my heart flutter. The bag in my arm is hastily set aside before I barrel into the boy, arms around his waist as tightly as I can hold. I could melt when he returns the gesture but I’m too busy trying to keep from crying.

               I step back, wiping at my eyes. “Sorry. I just…Everyone thinks you’re dead.”

               He’s taking the fact pretty lightly. “I can imagine so.”

               “What happened?” I murmur.

               “Uh, I can’t exactly explain it,” he answers, dodging my question. Something about him seems softer than before. “The storm took me someplace far away and a lot of stuff happened. But I’m here now.”

               Taking in his words, I want to question him. There was a whole year where I thought he was at the bottom of the ocean; of course I want to know everything. However, above all of that, I’m relieved he’s back.

               I smile. “Well hey, welcome back handsome.”

               Riku’s responding chuckle dies out to something hesitant. “Are you busy tonight?”

               Reaching down, I scoop my groceries back up. “No. Just making dinner and being lazy tonight.”

               “Do you want to hang out?”

               It takes everything I have to not scream ‘Yes!’ at him. “Didn’t you just get back?”

               “Yeah,” he says with a sheepish grin. “But Kairi spent a few long hours nagging me about being so oblivious.”

               “What?”

               His shoulders bounce but I don’t miss that old spark of mischief. “That whole year before I left, you were flirting with me.”

               It’s suddenly a bit too hot for me and my brain threatens to malfunction. Instead, I take my turn to answer sheepishly, “I mean, yeah. But I think you settling in again is probably more important.”

               “It can wait. I’ve got a lot of stupidity to make up for.”

               I may never stop smiling again. “Only two years worth.”

               “Then I’d better get started.” I could just squeal. “I’ll pick you up tonight.”

               “I’ll see you then.”

               I bid the boy goodbye and it takes everything I have not to explode before I’m sure he’s well out of sight. And that’s it; my brain is shot for the rest of the day. I’m not doing homework, none of my chores get done, and dinner is nothing that I had planned. I just lie around, giddy as a teenager should be.

               I force myself not to bolt for the door when I hear a knock; I cannot, however, help the swelling happiness in my chest when I see him waiting for me.

               “Hey handsome,” I greet. That’s an adorable blush trying to spread across his face.

               “Hey. Are you ready?”

               I tilt my head. “We’re going out? Isn’t it kinda late?”

               “Don’t worry. I’ll protect you from the monsters.” There’s a bit of the old self-confidence I remember him having.

               “Oh my knight in shining armor.” I follow Riku to the docks and I should’ve known he’d be taking me to the smaller island; it was his favorite place to hang out. But I’ve never been there at night so this will be a new experience for me.

               After he’s tied up the little boat, he offers a hand to me. “Careful.”

               “You’ve become quite the gentleman,” I tease, taking his hand.

               My joking goes right out the window when he pulls me up with absolutely no effort. “I think not wanting my date to hurt themself is just common courtesy.”

               “Fair enough.” I pray he doesn’t catch the mild quaver in the two words. “So what exactly are we doing out here?”

               “Whatever you want; just hanging out,” he says, walking out onto the moonlit beach. With a grunt, he plops down into the soft, white sand. With a bit more grace, I sit beside him.

               The ocean before us is dazzling. The water is calm, gently lapping at the land and reflecting the light from above. An endless sky is filled with millions of twinkling stars painting shades of blue and purple around the shining moon. There are no birds or strangers to interrupt the white-noise of the water; just us. And we’re not exactly quiet. We talk and laugh and joke about all sorts of things. I get vague hints that Riku’s time away had been quite an ordeal but we skirt around those topics. Still, I feel like I’m finally connecting to him; I’m not hiding anything or hinting at hidden feelings. I’m able to fully express myself. And though he may not be as snarky as he had been, I’m still enamored all the same.

               “It’s funny.” Riku says, looking up to the stars. “I wanted nothing more than to get off this island, but when I found out about you, I couldn’t wait to get back.

               Thank goodness it’s dark. “That’s kind of a silly reason to suddenly change your dreams.”

               “Not after the adventure I’ve had.” I don’t get a chance to dwell on the darkness in his words. Instead, my heart jumps into my throat when his hand sits on top of mind with a gentle squeeze. “Besides, I think you’re discounting yourself way too much. You’re worth changing dreams for.”

               What the hell do I say to that?! I sigh. “I know I was flirting with you but that doesn’t mean you have to do this. You don’t owe me anything. If you want, we can just-”

               My words are effectively silenced. It’s not smooth or gentle but Riku jams our lips together. I never would use the word awkward to describe him but this is terribly so. I still don’t hate it.

               I don’t know if it’s my own blush or the heat rolling off him, but the air between us is hot. When he breaks away, there’s that smile—I can die happy now.

               “If you end that sentence with ‘be friends,’ I’m going to throw you in the ocean,” he warns, a note of longing there.

               The astonishment in me takes a dive, succeeded by desire. Pulling myself up by his jacket, I swing a leg over Riku’s. My hands weave into his hair, pushing the locks from his face, revealing those beautiful teal eyes. Without another moment’s hesitation, I take a second kiss.

               First kisses are overrated. They’re awkward and never certain of both people’s feelings. But second kisses; with the confidence, understanding, and trust; those are the moments of passion that melt hearts. I am no exception. My insides are filled with thousands of butterflies but I can’t get enough—I will never get enough. I could live in this moment forever: just the two of us in this beautiful scene with our new-found love. I would’ve been gone only a moment too soon had I died earlier.

               Lips part, gasping for air. My eyes rapidly scan his face, trying to commit this moment to memory. Then the wave of euphoria washes over me and I let out a breathy laugh.

               “Fine. We’re not friends.”

~~~~~

Months Later…

               I trail through the sand, water lapping at my feet, birds cawing overhead, sun raining warmth on this quiet, little, lonely island.

               It’s been several months and it sucks. I got warning this time that he was going, but that doesn’t make me feel any better about his absence. The way he talked about it was like I may never see him again and he wouldn’t even give me any details. It was just ‘I gotta go’ and ‘I don’t know if I’ll come back,’ then he kissed me and disappeared; left me crying on the beach by myself. Even Sora and eventually Kairi disappeared too, but no, I get left behind. I’ve been flipping between anger and depression so much sometimes I just cry while I break things. Maybe it was ridiculous for me to think we’d always be together, maybe it would’ve been easier if he just said he was sick of me, but the fact that we were still so infatuated when he left makes this all the more miserable. I had less than a year to fall head-over-heels in love with him and, boy, did he leave his mark.

               Today’s one of those low days, where I miss him so much it almost hurts. So I’m on the little island, hoping for distractions; I’d even take memories of our little moments here—anything to dull the pain.

               Another round of sorrow creeps up on me and I take a moment to attempt clearing my vision.

               “Hey gorgeous.”

               My heart shudders so forcefully everything goes black and my ears ring. It clears quickly enough that I whirl around. He’s there, gasping like he ran a marathon to get here. I can’t believe it; also, I can’t take it. I take a running leap at Riku who falls on his ass to catch me.

               Sobbing into his shoulder, I manage to get out, “You’re not allowed to leave me again. I swear to the gods that I will tie you down if I have to.”

               Hugging me with his entire body, Riku answers, “I have so much to tell you.”

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-08-23

More homestuuuuuck

I’m a little tired today so I don’t expect much intelligent analysis out of myself, but if anything classpecty happens I doubt I’ll be able to help myself regardless.

oh, always

(EDITS: added note on horn colors, link to ask on potential Blood powers reference)

> CHAPTER 12. Really Convoluted Metaphorical Horseshit

cuuute

In the bowels of a different ship, at a moment in time that is not pinpointable in either direction from the previous interaction, another Dave raps quietly to himself.

another dave raps quietly to himself.  i am glad that phrase exists it brings me joy

(LATER EDIT: A friend on Discord pointed out that throughout this entire update, Karkat's horns are #FF0000 red. They were normal candy-corn colors in previous glimpses at the ship crew, though they used a dark single-color shortcut typical of old Homestuck at one point... but THIS time it stays STARK red even when we zoom in close later. Is this just artistic liberty? Did Karkat color his horns for fashion? Does this happen to red-bloods like the Sufferer after a certain age? Just how much time has actually passed, here? We might have to wait for the commentary for this one.)

KARKAT: I WAS SAYING I THOUGHT WE MIGHT GO, I DUNNO, ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE ENTIRE SHIP WHILE THE CLOTHES WERE WASHING. KARKAT: SEEING AS THIS DECREPIT MACHINE WE WERE SO BLESSEDLY PROVIDED WITH MAKES A WHIRRING SOUND SO PANCHAFINGLY ARHYTHMIC THAT IT THREATENS TO ERADICATE THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF TEMPO FROM THE UNIVERSE.

Karkat really has chilled out hasnt he?  like this is surprisingly level for him, and that fact is hilarious.

KARKAT: AND YET SOMEHOW BASICALLY ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE WE STARTED THE LOAD IS THAT YOU’VE BEEN USING IT AS A FUCKED UP BEAT TO WHISPER TO YOURSELF ABOUT FLOWERS TO.

oh gosh that’s why he’s rapping

> ==>

DAVE: kanaya was telling me this kids story the other day about this dude who didnt cherish a flower enough until it peaced out to do flower stuff idk its not pertinent to the story DAVE: except the flower was a person DAVE: because it was a metaphor

Oh right, coming back to the Little Prince stuff I was too lazy to metaphor-deep-dive into, and literally asking the same questions we were asking about who the Little Prince’s story applies to mapped here if anyone at all, like Dirk and such, or what biases were in the retelling of it and the way Kanaya phrased it.  So now we’re practically mocking it by deep diving it here, hence the last page’s “DAVE: i was just thinking through some really convoluted metaphorical horseshit”, which means we’re both about to further explore AND shit all over the existence of this story metaphor until it doesn’t mean anything and most of the meaning we drew from it earlier is made a joke~

well, not “we”, cause I was too lazy, so... y’all

DAVE: anyway what goes down in the story is that once the flower lady is out of the picture DAVE: the main character goes around making all these connections between her and everything else in the universe until every damn thing feels like a symbol for how much he fucked up and how much he will never see her again KARKAT: THIS SEEMS PRETTY FUCKING INTENSE FOR A KID'S STORY DAVE: yea thats pretty much what i said

Oh holy shit.  That’s yet another way to put it.  Are we doing a whole moral takedown of the Light aspect today?  cause it sounds like we’re taking a dump on the Light aspect and RoboRose getting too obsessed and immersed in it, which would be excellent

DAVE: but i guess its not so much what the story was technically textually about but more like the version of it kanaya internalized and then told me when we were talkin about how she misses rose

exactly

DAVE: so like now im taking the story she told me she was projecting her feelings onto and projecting my feelings on top of that

yes absolutely, you just rephrased it a different way with that exact same bias

DAVE: this is just one big game of emotional projection telephone so feel free to go paraphrase it to roxy later and make it about whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing

perfect. i need an emoji for that Italian thing for when you pinch your thumb and forefinger together and kiss it

ah this’ll do:

its like the expression “choice” but in nonverbal form

[...] whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing KARKAT: YOUR ABILITY TO GET TO THE POINT DAVE: gotem DAVE: anyway you’re not gonna have to miss that skill of mine for long DAVE: get ready for this shit because i am about to slap you with the point so hard youll fall ass first into the washer DAVE: just scrambling around in there getting all sudsy DAVE: but your brain is gonna be so blasted from the mindfreak of a point im about to make that there wont be anything left to clean

Anytime dave is told to get to the point he is contractually obligated to spend at least 20 seconds talking about how he’ll get to the point in a way that is not getting to the point

DAVE: so its genuinely cool that kanaya can go around creating meaning that may or may not be actually present in every little thing DAVE: connecting every feeling she has to the idea of her wife existing out there DAVE: so i told her she should keep that shit up DAVE: but im having the opposite issue where im struggling to find anything to be that kind of tether because every single thing i could possibly consider about what it is were doing just reminds me of yet another thing to be afraid about

Great examples of Light being good and bad!  Attaching strands of connective meaning to everything.  --though, in Dave’s case AND Kanaya’s case you could argue it’s both bad in terms of effects.  That it’s great for Kanaya to care, but that she should be able to divest herself and live on her own terms without idealizing Rose literally everywhere she looks, personal growth which would be useful in helping bring Rose back to her in the first place.  The struggle they’re looking forward to is largely philosophical, not just physical, and until Rosebot acknowledges that she was wrong it’s not over.

DAVE: everything fuckin sucks huge cosmic donkey sack and im terrified KARKAT: OK, SO I FEEL LIKE YOU SKIPPED A COUPLE NECESSARY STEPS IN YOUR POINT CLARIFICATION PROCESS.

Pretty sure Dave was on the same page as most Epilogue and start-of-HS2 readers.  This situation is pretty bleak to dump our heroes into, no matter how much we believe will be resolved in the long run.

DAVE: ok but were you going with sweet or savory please give me that much at least KARKAT: YEAH IT WAS GOING TO BE SUNDAE-BASED. DAVE: nice KARKAT: YEAH. KARKAT: DO YOU WANNA WATCH MORE GBBO AFTER THIS? DAVE: absolutely

--ah, Great British Bake-Off, can’t say I’ve indulged

do they still have that?? did they save it from old Earth?  or did they go where unflooded Britain used to be and say hey, new show reboot

KARKAT: GREAT. ANYWAY, LIKE I WAS SAYING, FOR THE LOVE OF SWEET HUMAN CHRIST, PLEASE BACK UP TO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU’RE ACTUALLY SCARED OF. KARKAT: ALSO COME HERE, IDIOT.

That last line is like, exactly as fucking sweet and awesome as we imagined their relationship to be.  :)

> ==>

OH MY GOD THAT’S ADORABLE

DAVE: ok yeah this is a better position to unleash all my inner fears n anxieties from

indisputably.

DAVE: those times its like my mouth was saying words about the situation wherein our friends are AWOL and maybe dead but my brain wasnt fully letting me experience the emotion that goes along with them DAVE: man its like i cant even start genuinely thinking about how afraid i actually am for rose and john without my brain flippin its wad and whiting out DAVE: like haha fuck i hope theyre ok DAVE: now i better make a fuckin joke before i succumb to the gaping mouth of despair waiting for me to fall in it as soon as i look down and acknowledge that its there ogling how juicy my ass looks as it trembles with terror

I really hope that the writers of HS2 know full well that this feeling? the one Dave is describing here? is what many of us who got way overinvested in the well-being of Homestuck’s surviving characters felt reading the Epilogues and Homestuck^2.  So I really hope they’re working through it in a way that will result in a preponderance of GOOD THINGS happening and hope-filled situations.  Cause that “can’t even think about X” feeling is too familiar, and if they understand it as well as it LOOKS like they’re getting to, I’d really like them to give us a helping hand healing.

I think that’s what they’re going for?  Seems hopeful for me to think so, but they HAVE been doing better as HS2 has been going forward, from an emotional standpoint anyway; definitely better than the Epilogues.  And I’ve worked through some of that stuff with the help of that, because it’s MUCH easier nowadays to think about Homestuck without my gut clenching.

DAVE: i guess im just fucked up about how to worry about dirk and be angry at him at the same time DAVE: because if i get as unholy pissed at him as i sometimes wanna be i also gotta admit to myself that maybe i coulda done something different there

Mhmm, Karkat’s potentially a pretty good person to speak with here since he’s done so much work trying not to feel responsible for everything that’s ever gone wrong.

DAVE: also like DAVE: and this by the way adds a whole other layer of guilt on there that i dont really know how to fuckin reckon with but DAVE: even with all the shit hes pulled and the fact that we are more or less heading toward having to take him down DAVE: whatever that is gonna mean and whether or not he planned it like that DAVE: i just DAVE: me and him had come so far with each other and it was really cool for a while to have him and i DAVE: ugh DAVE: i dont WANT to hate him

Yeah, Dirk and Jane’s heel-turns were really shitty for anyone who was a fan of them in the fanbase, as well.

KARKAT: WELL THEN QUIT FUCKING PICKING AT THE SEAM ON MY SHORTS AND SPIT IT OUT. THEY'RE BARELY HANGING ON TO THE DEFINITION OF "SHORTS" AS IT IS.

That is an adorably real boyfriend-laying-in-boyfriend’s-lap thing to do

DAVE: the part i mentioned before about how we really have no goddamn clue how long this trip is even gonna take DAVE: i cant help but feel like its barely getting revved up DAVE: and for me and roxy and jade and callie and kan thats normal shit at best and boring at worst but we all have our immortality to thank for that DAVE: we can just dick around in space for near-eternity waiting to catch up to our friends who may or may not be our enemies now and itll be fine DAVE: i mean no itll be categorically miserable DAVE: but well survive it KARKAT: HOLD THE FUCK ON. DAVE: but you KARKAT: DAVE. DAVE: no lemme say this

Oh god damnit.  Karkat’s limited lifespan.  As if we hadn’t ALREADY covered a nauseatingly extensive gamut of disheartening topics of conversation.  We really have to confront every shred of misery in their past, present and future one after the other after the other in the Epilogues and HS2, don’t we?  >:(

I guess it had to be discussed, though.

DAVE: we dont talk about it much and i got shit to say about it DAVE: its not like i never thought about how youre mortal before but i just thought wed be able to figure it out before it mattered DAVE: come up with some kind of plan DAVE: i was just distracted being happy with you i fucking guess and so i didnt think up a way to fix it DAVE: and now thanks to dirk we have to work it out right the fuck now DAVE: because i cant spend this trip just sitting around watching you get old and die

Jesus.  I mean, WE know(?) that it’s not gonna be THAT many years, but THEY don’t know that.

Unless it really IS going to be that many years and HS2 is going to shamelessly take a fucking sledgehammer to our feelings for no goddamn good reason.  Which it won’t!  Right???  >:T

> ==>

Dishwasher ding

> Dave: Grapple with the clean, soggy consequences of the passage of time.

Hey, don’t make it a metaphor here. --though, fuck.  I suppose we are dealing with everyones dirty laundry.  God damnit.  SURE, deal with it all story but then GET IT OUT OF THE WAY AND PUT SOME SERIOUS FUN AND LAUGHS IN HERE so we don’t feel like we’re wading through an entire garbage dump!!!  *click*

Karkat’s eyebrows-only mouthless frown is really cute.

> ==>

okay Karkat explain the nope you’re lodging

> ==>

*put*

> ==>

*foot*

> ==>

DAVE: ok go on

I mean I at least appreciate the time investment in adorable boyfriends.  That’s definitely something of SOME good value they’re giving us in exchange for this misery

> ==>

That Karkat image makes me wanna do that red-shaky-gif-thing with it

KARKAT: IT'S NOT LIKE I'M NEW TO THE PARTICULAR MOOBEAST WRANGLING EVENT OF SOMEONE I PREVIOUSLY LOVED BRUTALLY TURNING ON ME AND LEAVING ME TO TRY AND CRAM MY FEELINGS ABOUT THE SITUATION BACK TOGETHER ALL ON MY OWN.

True

KARKAT: HE DID THAT ON HIS OWN. AND WE MADE THE CHOICE TO GO AFTER HIM ON OUR OWN.

Yes, and you’ll possibly convince him more of that over time, though not in this short conversation

KARKAT: I WAS FOLLOWING YOUR LITTLE TRAIL OF COOKIE CRUMB FEARS UNTIL IT LEAD TO THE BIG SNACK FINALE OF WORRY ABOUT MY FRAGILE MORTAL MEATSACK. KARKAT: IF I HAVE SOMEHOW NOT BEEN CLEAR ABOUT THIS WITH YOU YET, LET ME GO AHEAD AND RECTIFY THE SITUATION RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. KARKAT: HANGING OUT WITH YOU ON THIS LONG TRIP TO WHO THE SHITTING FUCK KNOWS WHERE IS QUITE LITERALLY THE HAPPIEST I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY ENTIRE MEAGER EXISTENCE. KARKAT: I'M SO ABSOLUTELY BLISSED THE FUCK OUT OF MY MIND TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AT YOUR STUPID IMMORTALLY SMOOTH HUMAN FACE SKIN EVERY DAY AND NOT HAVE A COMPLEX ABOUT IT.

D’AWWW

And with that darkly angry expression too, that’s PERFECT

I mean it’s true.  What exactly would they be doing DIFFERENTLY on Earth C other than enjoying each other like this?  It’s pretty fucking great.

...hm.  Isn’t this journey-not-the-destination stuff pretty Breathy?  Karkat’s proving more balanced by the moment.

KARKAT: AND I'LL BE STRAIGHT WITH YOU. IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVEN'T BEEN EXPERIENCING SOME COMPLICATED GUILT, MYSELF. KARKAT: THE FACT THAT I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE JUST FUCKING CHILLAXING AND BEING IN LOVE IN SPACE IS A CLEARLY INCONGRUOUS WITH THE REASON I'M ACTUALLY HERE CHILLAXING TO BEGIN WITH, AND I'M NOT LETTING MYSELF FORGET THAT, EITHER.

Pff.  He feels guilty for ENJOYING IT so much.  <3

KARKAT: BUT I RESENT THE IMPLICATION THAT MY HAPPINESS IS REGISTERING FOR YOU AS YOU HAVING TO JUST "SIT AROUND AND WATCH ME GET OLD," BECAUSE I KNOW YOU KNOW IT'S MORE THAN THAT.

I’m glad Karkat knows that DAVE knows somewhere in him that it’s more than that, because yeah, if Karkat thought he DIDN’T know that at some level that’d be a reason to take MUCH MORE SERIOUS offense.

KARKAT: LIKE, JESUS, DAVE. YOU KNOW I'M AFRAID FOR YOU, TOO, RIGHT? KARKAT: OR DID YOU FORGET THE WHOLE HEROIC DEATH THING? KARKAT: I WORRY ABOUT LOSING YOU FAIRLY FUCKING REGULARLY.

Hah!!!  Point taken.  Karkat must view Dave as practically more fragile than HIM.

KARKAT: ONE: WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA THAT I REFUSE TO NOT ENJOY THIS SHIT WHEN I FINALLY FUCKING GET IT, NO MATTER HOW LONG IT MAY OR MAY NOT LAST. KARKAT: TWO: IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE DOING NOTHING. WE’RE MOVING. WE’RE WORKING. WE’RE HEADED SPECIFICALLY TO A PLACE WHERE WE WILL UNDOUBTLEDLY ENDURE YET MORE FUCKING HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA. KARKAT: AND THREE: WE'RE DOING THAT BECAUSE WE HAVE FRIENDS WHO WE CARE ABOUT THAT NEED US. THAT IS OUR FOCUS, HERE. NOT OUR FEAR. IT'S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WE HAVE TO SAVE. KARKAT: SO DON'T FUCKING WORRY ABOUT ME, DAVE. I'M FINE.

Okay, this is great and wholesome.  I am now retroactively GLAD that this topic got brought up.  :)

> ==>

Dave is still afraid. There is a part of him that will always be, he thinks. He has accepted this about himself. There is another feeling coursing through him too, though. It’s something he's felt before, though never quite so intensely. He looks up at Karkat and understands, viscerally, the simple power his words have. They pump through Dave’s own body, alive and warm and true.

He wonders if Karkat realizes it, or if he’s just, as always, saying what he feels as he feels it. Dave doesn’t attempt to dissect it further. There will be time for that later.

Every really loving moment like this is sort of undercut by the fact that it’s also, in some senses, part of alt!Calliope’s narration and, by extension, her fanfiction.

EDIT 2: There's also either a hint to potential Blood powers or even an explicit Blood power use here that I didn't recognize. I'm leaning towards it's-laying-the-groundwork-for-future-use-of-Blood-powers-but-isnt-magical-in-this-case.

> ==>

Smooooch!

That was nice.  Still gonna wait on doing any commentary til next time or a Bonus update or two, cause I’m beat.  See y’all next time!

[freemanverse-casualcomp-au]

Behind GorgeousMan’s Legacy

When GorgeousMan’s name known across the international Tekken community? Well, it was started from Antoine’s first big tournament in EVO and creating history among North American Tekken community.

Most of all, Dean’s company was the true MVP behind his success.

(2 years before Antoine and Dean got hired by Black Mesa...)

.

.

.

(Antoine: 22 y/o. Dean: 21 y/o)

“WAIT, WHAT?! YOU MANAGED TO ENTER INTO EVO TOURNAMENT?!”

Antoine lightly laughed as he saw Dean’s shocked reaction, his body got shaken by the shorter man as he babbled in excitement. “Nie, you aren’t representing any org and you just put yourself there? Aw fuck, I can’t- ”

“Woah, dearie, I gotta stop you right there for a second.” The bigger man pulled himself from the shorter man’s grasp. “I purposely not telling you about it because I guessed that you’ll get stressed out and both of us know how you handling yourself when you got something stuck in your mind.”

Dean scoffed hearing his roommates’ comment but didn’t give any kind of rejection because he knew he was right about it. He saw the shorter man’s worrywart side, always reminded him to eat or take a good rest without knowing that he neglected himself. Even when they were still at MIT, he was his reminder to all his assignments and schedules.

Gosh, he’s the nicest man he’d ever met.

“There are thousands of contestant to beat, Nie. Like, all of them aren’t coming without any kind of skills.” Dean muttered out loud, he let himself fell down to his beanbag chair as he pulled out his phone and started to type something before showing the screen to him. A picture of a mocha-coloured short-haired man showing off his wide grin as he held a glass trophy. “Rick from Aperture Games is also competing there as one of the top 8 players on last year’s EVO.” He scrolled the screen lower, showing a short jet black-haired woman wearing a white cap with some sort of grey symbol softly smiling at the crowd. “And the infamous back-to-back champion of EVO, adv1s0r from Combine Tech!”

Of course, he knew both of them. Johnny “Rick” Grady was one of the more known players among those who know the American Tekken. He came to represent the Aperture Games as he mowed down his opponents with Eddy, a middle-tier and speedy Tekken character that packs quite a punch if people managed to master his quick movements. Meanwhile, the mysterious “adv1s0r” from Combine Tech is a Korean player whose known for being the daughter of the Combine’s CEO and a genius for playing Dragunov, one of the supposedly top-tier characters and a heavy-hitter.

In EVO, however, North American players were underestimated too much.

Maybe he could make it into his advantage?

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” He took one of Dean’s palm and squeezed it gently, “I got a plan for that.”

“...You still doing the nicknames, huh...” Antoine’s heart fluttered, he sat beside him and put his head under the crook of Dean’s neck. The shorter man flinched at first, but then gave in and nuzzled against the taller man’s hair.

“Ah, you don’t like it, honey? The shorter man lowly hummed as if he was thinking about it, although Antoine knew his answer already.

“...I don’t mind it.”

“If you say so, Boo~” And both of them stayed in that position for a while, Dean scrolling through his phone while Antoine watched him out. It took him a while before realizing he was looking for EVO tournament information. Dean looked up at him with his infamous deadpan stare. “Uhhhh, what is it, babe?”

“Three days until the tournament and the main location is in Las Vegas, huh?” He kept staring at him, Dean’s green eyes met his darker ones. “Are you going alone or with somebody? Do you need to book an Airbnb? How about the plane tickets-”

Dean’s train of questions got silenced by a single peck on his cheek. His only response to that was another dead stare. “Calm down there, sweetie,” He gave the shorter man some pats on his head, burying his hand under those dark brown strands, “I’ve planned most of them already. Plane tickets are ready to go, along with the Airbnb booking and some replacement parts for my Arcade Pad.” He took the phone out from his hand and placed it beside him. “I just need a travel partner to go with, so you know where this conversation is going.”

“...You smooth fucker, I’m in.”

“I’m glad you catch my drift there.”

--------------------------------------------------------------

“Nie, look, they also held Marvel vs Capcom 2 here, too! Wait, is that GO1*?! I can see him playing on Dragonball Fighter Z area from here!!”

Dean ran wild among the crowds and scanned his surroundings excitedly, while Antoine watched over him. He could see how his roommate’s green eyes sparkled upon arriving at the entrance, running around to every cosplayer and pointing at some of the players they both knew. Seeing his childlike side made his heart warm.

“Oh, and anyway,” Dean turned around to face him and pointed at him, no, his clothing, “most people are wearing t-shirts and other casual tops, and you really want to wear that?

Antoine looked down, checking out his black button-up blazer with a black hooded jacket under it, his white shirt and a navy-blue tie peeked out from the unzipped area. His black skinny jeans and white plimsoll sneakers accompanied his top perfectly. Meanwhile, Dean was wearing his favourite oversize navy blue hoodie with a pair of black 3/4 jeans and black-white running sneakers. His black beanie framed his clean-shaven face.

In his defence, he wanted to look a bit formal as a good first impression to his opponents.

Antoine looked back at the shorter man and shrugged, earning a small groan. “Damn, it’s hard to let go that old habit of yours, huh?” He flashed his smirk at his roommates, once again earning another small groan. “Guess I can’t really blame you. It suits you.”

“Of course it is, pumpkin~” He began to lightly flex his well-developed muscles, the result of going to the gym every day. “I am GorgeousMan, a North American Tekken player, ready to defeat my enemies in style~”

“Yea, I know you will...” Dean snatched on of his hands and pulled him as they walked together to the Tekken 7′s qualification booth. “There are more than a thousand and five hundred players, separated between seventy pools and you’re in the pool F602.” He stopped walking and pulled him to his front, then pushed him until they were facing the re-registration staff. “Remember to have fun when playing, Nie.” He gave him a single pat on the back and a small smile, then left him there as he walked towards the audience seat.

Well, time to have fun, shall we?

-------------------------------------------------------------

He couldn’t believe his eyes.

He beat all of them in just two rounds.

He didn’t even struggle nor break a sweat as he demolished his opponents with King’s WWE-inspired moves, eyes locked onto the screen while both his hands expertly tapping buttons and moving the joystick, creating a dance for his character to follow and making combos after combos.

He emerged victorious inside his pool, putting himself inside the winner bracket along with other pool victors.

He survived.

And most of all, he’s acting like himself while at it, finger gunned the camera while winking at the audience sometimes. Most of them were surprised more of a fact that he wasn’t sponsored nor belong to any org, while he was dressed like someone that didn’t belong on the stage. Especially on his last match with one of the player. he could feel the searching gaze as he scanned his entire attire.

“I’ve never seen you on the major tournament before.” Was his most asked question during meeting other players. He could recognize only a handful of them, and only one of his match got properly viewed by the casters and pro players noticed his presence in the match from his iconic appearance.

“Beware of The Player in Hooded Blazer, he’s strong.”

The Player in Hooded Blazer, huh...

“Hey, Nie, you’ve been staring at the ceiling for a while.”

His thought broke and he took a glance at Dean, playing Half-Life 2 on his laptop beside him. Knowing his roommates, Antoine guessed that he’s trying to break his own speedrun record again by dissecting the game even further or looking for corners he could cut. His focus hadn’t left his game yet, but he could feel the shorter man’s intense glare somehow.

“No, it’s just- today has been very overwhelming for me...” That statement was true. This is the first time people acknowledged him for his skills rather than his background. His look became his trademark among both rising starts and older pro players. Even one of his opponents complimented him, saying that he “really is a gorgeous man” and that thought alone brightened his day a lot.

His roommate hummed a bit before pausing his game and closing his laptop, eyes now fully focused at him. “Don’t push yourself too hard.” He patted his shoulder and squeezed it gently, almost affectionate. “You’re still in progress to adapt to this kind of environment. You got yourself a name and a reputation among those who have played against you and some who watched you play.” Dean’s lips formed a small smile. “You are no longer just another small problem to forget, you are now in their wanted list.” He gave him some more pats on his shoulder before packing his laptop back and laying down on the bed. “Your next few days will be harder than today, so take some good rest for tonight.”

Antoine knew personally that Dean was bad at comforting people, but this is the first time he’d seen his genuine attempt to comfort him.

...He’s too nice for his own sake...

The taller man smiled softly, looking down at the smaller figure beside him before finally laying down next to him.

...Maybe choosing the room with double bed for cheaper price wasn’t a bad idea, after all.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's the second day on the tournament and he hadn’t been lost even once yet. Some of those players that he’d beaten was known from their performances at many international tournaments, only for them to look in awe as Antoine’s King perform his infamous back break and body slam. Nobody was safe from his grasp, not even the legendary JeonDDing* and NOROMA*. Many agencies and gaming orgs were taking an interest at him and some of them even offered a place for him in there, but he turned all of them down.

Overall, he felt incredible.

He only needed one more win to get into finals.

“Nie, there you are!” He turned around to the source of the voice, watching as Dean jogging to him while holding two bottles of Pocari. “You’ve been playing for a while there,” He handed one of them to him, which he accepted, “so you might need to chill for a bit before meeting your last opponent.”

The bottle was cool to touch, he assumed his roommate got it from the vending machine. He opened the sealed cap and took a few good gulps. The cool, slightly salty liquid washed out some of his fatigue a bit and refreshed his mind a little. He let out a satisfied huff, throwing out the now-empty bottle into a trashcan beside him. “Thanks, babe.”

“Yeah, yeah, your wel-”

“Wait, is that the orgless player who put some top players under loser’s bracket?”

“Hooded blazer man...yes, it’s the dark horse of this event!”

“Did you see him kicking pekos* with those sick King combos?”

Their conversation was cut off short as some audiences walked towards them. Their gaze of him was awfully familiar, sending some chills under his spine. He tried his nervousness under his usual prideful smile facade. “Hey, what are you guys up to?”

“Bro, we saw your matches and we’re very impressed!” A̶r̶e̶n̴’̴t̴ ̶y̸o̶u̶ ̸t̷h̴e̶ ̶n̵e̷w̸ ̴s̶t̵u̵d̸e̶n̴t̵ ̴f̸r̵o̴m̷ ̸t̷h̶a̸t̵ ̶v̶e̸r̵y̴ ̷r̵i̶c̷h̷ ̸f̶a̸m̶i̶l̵y̷?̵ ̷T̸h̸a̶t̵’̸s̶ ̷s̴o̸ ̷c̴o̶o̸l̶!̷

Wait, what the-

“Yeah, can you give me tips for playing King? I wanted to main him personally now.” C̷a̵n̴ ̷y̷o̶u̸ ̷b̷u̷y̵ ̷u̷s̸ ̴s̸o̴m̵e̷t̷h̸i̶n̷g̶,̵ ̷f̷r̸i̴e̴n̵d̶?̶

Why those cursed memories have to come out now?!

“We’ll be cheering on you, man!” W̶e̷’̷r̶e̴ ̶c̴o̸u̶n̶t̴i̸n̷g̶ ̵o̷n̴ ̷y̸o̷u̴,̷ ̵r̴i̴c̶h̶ ̷g̸u̷y̶.̶

Nononononononoidontwanttogoback-

“Thanks for the support, guys!” Dean’s forced high pitched-up voice snapped those bad thoughts away in a single sentence, he could feel a pair of his roommate’s hands grasped onto his shoulder tightly and dragged him away from the forming crowd around them. Either it’s his imagination or he could feel slight tremble from both grips. After a while of turning and twisting their path, they’d found themselves back near the big stage and stopped. The trembling grip finally released and he heard a long shaky sigh.

“Dean, you goo-”

“No, that’s MY question to YOU!” Dean stomped his way to face him, pointing at his chest while maintaining eye contact. “You looked like you’re about to die there, and now I’m worried like hell!”

“You don’t need to worry about me, De-”

“I have the right to be FUCKING WORRIED, ANTOINE!!!” Dean rarely raised his voice, but it’s different this time.

Dean...frustrated?

“Please, Dean, calm dow-” Dean’s loud groan cut him before he could finish his words.

“See?! You just- you’re doing it again!!!” His breathing rhythm got shorter over time. “When you got stressed out or emotional, you don’t call me by those nicknames! I’m not that stupid, Nie!” He tried to hold his breath to slow down, but failed and now it's gotten shakier. “The last time you didn’t call me by names, you got caught back inside your dumb family drama and I need to wrangle you out from there.”

Ah, he didn’t notice the detail.

“I-I can explain-”

“GorgeousMan, please enter the stage right now. Your next opponent is waiting.”

He heard the announcement from the staff, but both of them didn’t break ther eye contact before Dean gently smacked his shoulder once and walked away.

Don’t get stressed out, that’s what his roommate’s indirect message.

Well, hope he could apply that advice on-stage.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

“Pardner, you’re one hell of a player back there.”

“...I screwed my combos for three times straight and almost lost to you. That’s not an achievement.”

“Tell that to when you went full ham and reverse sweeping on the match point.”

“Said the ones who interrupted most of my attempts at counter hitting on the first round.”

Rick, or Johnny, laughed upon hearing Antoine’s vent rambling, both sitting on a long bench outside the venue. Although he won against this southern player, the win wasn’t as good as those previous ones he’d earned in these two days. It somehow leaves a bitter taste to his mouth due to all those bad thoughts affecting his performance. He tried to loosen up, but Johnny’s Eddie only adding up more problems. It somehow helped him block out the thoughts and managed to beat him out of annoyance.

Meanwhile, Dean was quiet beside him, his eyes staring at the ground as if he wanted to avoid any eye contacts. He caught him glancing and the man immediately went back to staring down. Sometimes he saw him squeezing the pads of his fingers until they’re bluish or gnawing at his own thumb, littering it with bite marks.

From the looks of it, he’s badly anxious.

He needs to do something before Dean broke down.

“It’s been fun chatting with you, but we have to go.” Antoine got up from the bench and gently grabbed Dean’s hand. “Good luck on loser’s bracket, I heard you’re fighting qudans*?” The southern player nodded before pulling out his phone.

“Wait, can I have both of your contacts? We should meet up sometimes.” He raised one of his eyebrows.

“Both?” Johnny nodded again, his eyes shifted to the fidgety Dean.

“Aren’t you that Half-Life speedrunner DFree? One of my friends in the org is actually your biggest fan!” Dean stopped his fidgeting and now staring back at the player. “You might know him, he specializes in Portal speedrun-”

“You mean Ke- I mean spacey?” If there’s any trace of his anxiousness on his face before, it vanished into thin air, leaving only a pair of curious eyes. “The hyperactive space nerd who knows the entire space trivia?”

Johnny lightly chuckled. “Oh, you really do know him! Kevin would be delighted to hear that.”

“How’s Kevin? Is he still reading some space-related contents?”

“Hell, Ms Caroline bought him a dozen of NASA books and space encyclopedias and he’s now using that big brain of his to annoy Gladys.”

Dean cackled out loud, while Antoine watched him in awe. This is the first time he’d seen his roommate didn’t shy away from a conversation with other people other than him. “He’s legit older than me, and yet still as childish as ever.”

“True, right?” Johnny checked his phone screen and his eyes widened. “Aw shucks, ten minutes until the loser’s bracket begin and I need to go now.” And with that, he ran back into the venue, leaving both Freemans outside.

Now, time to tell him that-

“I’m sorry Nie, I’ve been pretty harsh to you.”

...Eh?

“I know I got out-of-hand at that time, I-I don’t want to see you like the first time we met a-and I got a bit panicky there and I shouldn’t raise my voice to someone older, but I di-”

He wrapped Dean with the warmest hug he could’ve possibly made. Slowly, his hand stroking the dark brown strands below the beanie the man was wearing while rubbing circles on his back in a comforting manner. “That’s okay, dear. You have every right to do that.” He smiled, a small sigh of relief escaped from his lips. “I’m also sorry for making you worry back then, too.”

Both of them were now hugging in the middle of Las Vegas’ cold autumn and nobody disturb them.

“...We forgot to give Rick our contact, huh?”

“Don’t worry, he should know my Twitter username and send a DM there.”

They chuckled, the tense atmosphere between them has vanished.

This is nice...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

EVO’s Sunday Stage is always the biggest part of EVO, with variations of arcade fighting gamers and fans gather around under one building for one thing; watching the peak of the tournaments.

In Antoine’s case; Tekken 7 finals.

To be honest, he’s not fully ready yet. As in “How the hell he managed to go to Top 4 while orgless and a newcomer?” kind of not ready. In addition, Rick got eliminated by qudans*, making him the only North American player in this big Sunday Stage.

The stage is way bigger than the last two days. Big screens, big stadium, a big number of audience, everything just overwhelmingly big.

He’s not just nervous; he’s incredibly anxious.

“Today’s first semifinal match is going to be an interesting one, between a newcomer who has turned himself into the dark horse of this tournament, the rumoured Man in Hooded Blazer GorgeousMan, versus The Defending Champion of EVO adv1s0r. Who will move on to the final stage?”

The crowd explodes with cheers as he and his opponent entered the stage, his hands gripping down the arcade pad tightly. Now as he looked at adv1s0r’s face, she looks like one of those cold villains. Her lips pulled into a small frown and her black eyes lacked any kind of liveliness.

He feels threatened by her presence alone.

But he couldn’t back down.

Not now, not ever.

Whatever is the result, he’ll face it on.

He grinned widely, putting up his prideful facade once again.

.

(Goddamnit, he’s nervous, isn’t he? He couldn’t help him from the audience seat, but what if he...yeah that could work.)

-----------------------------------------------------------------

“And what a devastating defeat at the start of the round, with adv1s0r leading the match!”

Ah, he’s fucked.

He made mistakes around the combos and that little shithead’s Dragunov just fucking up with him from time to time. His hands were trembling as he fumbling with the stick and buttons. With the added pressure of stress, he’s not in his top form.

Overall, he feels like shit.

It’s been a long time since he cursed this much, but yeah fuck this.

He took a big gulp of bottled water and tried to re-calibrating his fingers again, reciting every combo from his head, but his nervousness still sticking there.

Also, this fucking headphone is uncomfortable as hell, he better let this go or else-

As soon as he pulled out his headphone, his ear was greeted by the loudest cheers he’d ever heard from the audience. Although he’d heard many kinds of cheers from many EVO tournament he’d watched, this cheer, however, was different.

The crowd were cheering for North America.

They were cheering for him.

He is their last hope to show what North American players could do.

And somehow, it replaced all the pressure in his mind with a newfound determination.

Grinning with pride, he relaxed his grip on his arcade pad.

Time for GorgeousMan to defeat his enemies with style~

.

(From the audience seat, Dean smiled. Looks like his plan worked perfectly.)

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Up forward, 4, 4, dash, 1, 2, dash, 1, dash, 1, 2, forward two times, 1, forward three times and press 2 and 4 at the same time.

That’ll be the final hit and-

“- and then OH MY GOD, HE DID IT!!!”

He jolted out from his seat and started to shout out of his mind, joined by thousands of the crowd’s erupted cheers.

His clothes were soaked with cold sweat and tears were falling down his cheek, but he didn’t care at all.

He’d reached the level he’d thought he never reach with his own skills.

Screw being a politician like his family once wanted, being himself is already addicting enou-

“NICE JOB, NIE!!!”

His body got tackled by a familiar hug of Dean’s, which he then returned the hug tightly. A warm feeling crept into his heart as he saw his roommate also tightened the hug. “I couldn’t do it without you, darling. Thank you for your companion.”

Dean flashed the brightest and most beautiful smile he’d ever seen. “Nah, Nie. You did it yourself.” He pulled himself out from the taller man’s side and pointed out at the crowd. “They’re for you. You proved that American players aren’t weak at all, and the cheers are their way of saying thank you. The only thing I did was just to convinced them to cheer for you.”

“Their cheers are your reward now. Go and respond to them.”

And then, he broke down in tears, sobbing out loud in both relief and happiness.

He was lucky to have a friend like him.

.

(Dean glanced at adv1s0r’s frustration face, he swore he saw a man in a suit on the corner of his eyes, but then he’s gone when he tried to take a good look at him, along with adv1s0r herself.)

--------------------------------------------------------------------

XXth October 20XX, the day when its Match of The Year became one of the most memorable among Tekken players, a name was known to the entirety of every North American player and worldwide as one of the sole North American Tekken players who managed to reach the finals through the winner’s bracket. 

After placing himself on the 3rd place of EVO Tournament, he kept moving forward to annual EVO Japan and later Tekken World Tour after getting accepted by Black Mesa org.

Since then, he was feared as The Player in Black Hooded Suit, GorgeousMan.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Footnotes:

- Players with (*) mark exist IRL. GO1, however, isn’t a Tekken player.

-(Up forward, 4, 4, dash, 1, 2, dash, 1, dash, 1, 2, forward two times, 1, forward three times and press 2 and 4 at the same time.) : One of King’s combo, resulting in 69 damages in 9 hits.

[twdeadfanfic]

Silent, fast, and lethal Pt.3

aDaryl Dixon x Reader

*Summary:  The reader is very good at sneaking, moving fast and silent, lethal with her knives. She lost her camp and is wanfering the woods when she finds Maggie and Glenn being attacked by some men and she helps them, sneaking not only on the men but also on Daryl, leaving everyone impressed with her skills, and she’s taken in into the prison. Badass but rather insecure reader and shy, confused Daryl.

Slow-burn, hurt/comfort, fluff, angst, smoking, language and violence twd style. (Request turned mini-series of eight chapters)

4735 words

Chapters: 3/8

Link to masterlist with more  stories in the info of this blog.

This story will be updated on Monday and Thursday.

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As you had predicted, after having been awake for the most part of the night, you were beyond sleepy when you went out hunting with Daryl, but as you walked with him through the woods and Daryl began pointing things at you, as if he were actually making an effort to try and teach you something, you felt fully awake, paying total attention to it.

It seemed today you weren’t going to see him fail a shot either, and you couldn’t help but watch him and admire the way in which he moved with such confidence and skill, as if he belonged in those wood, noticing everything around him, every little track, movement, and sound, how quick and skilled he was at aiming his crossbow in a second without never miss the shot.

He had several squirrels attached to his belt when you reached a clearing and Daryl stopped, looking around without saying anything to you. He took a piece of charcoal out of a pocket and draw an x on a nearby tree before rummaging into his bag, taking out something else and walking to you.

“It’s a silencer for the rifle.” He said as he took the rifle you had been carrying, placing the silencer on it. “I borrowed it. Thought you might want to practice or something.”

“Thanks…” You were taken aback but you gave him a grateful smile as you took back the rifle, looking at it and then at the mark on the trunk, feeling rather unsure. “I don’t think I can even hold it right.”

“Try to aim.”

“Okay…” You lifted the rifle and aimed but didn’t shoot, waiting for Daryl’s instructions. He approached you and reached out as if to reposition your arms but he didn’t touch you, seeming unsure and hesitant. “Told you, the bruises don’t hurt or nothing,” you told him, wondering if it was that.” He just nodded and then you barely felt his hands on you as he guided your arms ever so gently.

“That is, aim and shoot.”

You did your best, but you failed the shot. “Ouch,” you groaned as you felt like the rifle had kicked your shoulder quite literally.

“That’s normal. You’ll get used to it and you’ll get better.”

“Thanks.” You gave Daryl another shy smile, glad he was encouraging you instead of seeming disappointed at you.

“Come on, again.”

You spent quite a while there, missing most of the shots, though each time you hit the target, Daryl made you try further away. Eventually you stopped, you didn’t think you could handle to keep shooting with the pain you were feeling in your shoulder.

“It kind of feels like a waste of bullets…” You murmured.

“No, you missed but you hit it sometimes too.”

“Those were wasted bullets too.”

“How you wanna learn then?” Daryl frowned.

“I know, just…we’ll run out of ammo eventually.” And it wasn’t like you could make more, you didn’t think so.

“Yeah, but we still have plenty of that and you gotta learn,” Daryl shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal. “We’ll get more ammo in some runs.” Eventually, though, you knew the nearby places would run out of ammo too, but you didn’t say anything else about it.

“It’s difficult to find arrows?” You asked, pointing at his crossbow.

“Don’t know, I make them.” Daryl began walking again and you gaped at him before you began following him again.

“Whoa! That’s really impressive!” He didn’t stop surprising you with his knowledge and skill, but Daryl just shrugged at your words without saying anything or looking at you.

It kept going like that, when neither Daryl or you had to go to a run, he kept taking you with him to the woods whenever he went out hunting, kept telling you some things about tracking and helping you practice with the rifle. You’d kept complaining about being wasting bullets and so since the third day Daryl had you trying to shoot at the squirrels and rabbits he found, which you missed most of the times, doing nothing to ease your feeling of being wasting bullets. More often than not you ended up leaving it to Daryl, or else you’d have barely anything for eating to bring back to the prison. When he seemed to think you were feeling down or beating yourself, Daryl told you that you were improving, and you guessed you were, but you couldn’t really see it.

The first time you managed to hit a squirrel you couldn’t believe it yourself, gaping as you looked from your rifle to the squirrel in disbelieve. You couldn’t help your grin when Daryl smiled to you, clapping your back before going to pick up the squirrel. It took you several times to be able to shoot anything again, though.

Despite your self-deprecating thoughts every time you missed a shot or weren’t able to track anything yourself, you enjoyed being out there with Daryl, and you were glad he still seemed to want to take you with him. Day after day, you were more impressed with him and you liked more and more to spend time with him, he was a nice guy and an interesting one, even though you still didn’t know much about him. You felt like you wanted to know him better, and so you tried to talk with him every time you were together, but although he wasn’t rude, he wasn’t talkative either. You felt he knew way more about you than you knew about him, with him barely getting to share anything about him, but you didn’t let it discourage you.

You still joined him some nights for a smoke too, quietly sharing your mind with him, even though he usually didn’t say much, but you felt like he listened to you. You liked it. And so as days passed, you felt Daryl and you were becoming good friends, and slowly you started to feel more integrated into that new community, getting to know everyone a bit better. You still had your lost friends and community on your mind every night when you tried to sleep, and you didn’t think it’d stop hurting, you didn’t think you’d ever stop thinking about them and missing them, but slowly, the pain was becoming more bearable.

“Still can’t sleep?” Daryl asked you one night when you flopped down next to him on the table.

“It isn’t easy to fall asleep.” You shrugged. “But I don’t mind it. I like this, you know, being out here at night talking to you when everything is quiet…” You told him shyly, feeling a bit silly, but it was true, you looked forward to going hunting with Daryl or to share a moment alone with him at night.

You wonder what he might think, if he enjoyed it too or if he just tolerated you. Most times you thought he liked to sit down with you too, but sometimes you couldn’t help but fear he might be tired of you by now. He never said anything about it, though, and that night wasn’t an exception.

He turned to look at you, though, soft smile on his face, and you couldn’t help your own. Maybe Daryl did like to be your friends and have you around after all.

About a month and a half after Daryl took you out hunting with him for the first time, you were once again walking with him through the woods, this time him following you as you tried to track something yourself. You thought you had found a trail and you had been following it, but for a little while now you’d been unable to pick it up again, and no matter how much you tried, you couldn’t find it again. Finally you stopped, deciding to admit it, and turned to face Daryl, looking down in embarrassment.

“I lost the trail…”

“I know.” Daryl nodded, not seeming mad.

“So why you didn’t say anything?” You looked at him confused.

“I wanted to wait for you to realize it yourself.” He shrugged.

You let out a frustrated sigh. “I made you lose your time.”

“Nah, come on.” You followed Daryl to the point where you had lost the trail, still feeling like you’d made him waste his time. “See, this is where you took the wrong turn, you should have gone through there. Come on, try again.”

Once you both made your way back to the prison, you hadn’t hunt anything, though you had practice your aim and it hadn’t been too bad. On his side, Daryl had a couple of rabbits hanging from his belt. You stole glances at him as you walked until he caught you.

“What?”

“Nothing, just…” You looked down, blushing in embarrassment, not sure about how to put your thoughts into words. “Thank you for not getting mad when I can’t hunt or track or nothing.”

“Ain’t like that.” Daryl shrugged. “You’re learning.”

“Yeah well, I know I’m pretty much a disappointment, so-”

“You ain’t that.” Daryl stopped you.

“Yeah, well, ask my parents.” You chuckled bitterly.

Daryl looked at you but didn’t say anything, and you both walked into the prison in silence before heading to clean the rabbits and got them ready to stew. That night, though, as you joined Daryl on top of a table as you always did, you picked up the conversation again.

“You’re a good teacher, you know?” You said shyly and quietly, and Daryl scoffed. “You are, you got patience.”

“I ain’t that patient.” Daryl shrugged. “But you ain’t as bad as you think, you got skill.”

“Thanks…” You whispered, ignoring the way in which your stomach did weird twirls at his words, the same way it did sometimes when you looked at him. You rather didn’t acknowledge it. “I guess…don’t know…I guess I always knew I was a bit of a disappointment to people, like to my parents and all that, so…” you trailed off, feeling embarrassed and silly at being sharing that with Daryl.

“Why you think that?” Daryl asked you after a couple of seconds of silence.

“They told me.” You shrugged, trying to sound like you didn’t care even though it still felt like a dart to the chest even after all those long years. “Like…I don’t care, never wanted to be their perfect daughter or something, but I guess I just disappointed them in everything…” You felt rather silly about being telling all that to Daryl, but he hummed and glanced at you as if waiting for you to keep going, and so you found yourself sharing more about yourself with him.

“Cos…you know, they had this idea about how they wanted their daughter to be, and I guess I wasn’t exactly that. And they wanted me to have great grades, and go to a good university and study to get an important job and what not. But I was a disaster at school, dumb as a brick, barely got to finish high school, never went to college…” You blushed, couldn’t help the embarrassment. “So yeah, just a big disappointment.”

“Don’t think you’re dumb…” Daryl muttered.

“Thanks…” You gave him a weak smile. “But I know I’m not the smarter person…so yeah, I was a disappointment as a daughter, they told me again and again, how awful I was and how bad at everything. Only thing I was good at was sneaking around and they hated it since I could spy on them or sneak in and out of the house without them noticing.” It had cost you a lot of fights with them.

“They’d be glad you’re good at it now, with how you kill walkers and all.” Daryl’s encouraging words made you blush and feel those twirls in your stomach, but when you looked at him he was looking away.

“Honestly? I don’t even know where they are. I left them once I turned eighteen, went to the city, got a job that was another disappointment for them, didn’t speak much with them anymore…” Were they alive or dead? You didn’t know, had barely spared them a thought, and now guilt ate you as you thought about it. “Gosh, I’m a shit daughter aren’t I?”

“Nah,” Daryl shook his head, finally looking at you. “Doesn’t sound like they cared, like all they cared was what they wanted of you, not really you, don’t know…” He trailed off, shrugging awkwardly.

“I guess…” You nodded, rubbing your eyes quick when you felt tears on them, mortified.

“Sorry,” Daryl said when he realized it, looking like he didn’t know what to do.”Didn’t mean to…I just…” It seemed like he didn’t know what to say either, and you rushed to stop his babbling.

“No, it’s okay, you’re right. I haven’t cared about them or what they thought about me in a long while. It’s okay, I’m not one of those persons who wanted to make their parents proud or something, I’m just me...” You smiled awkwardly.

Daryl just nodded and for a little while he didn’t say anything, smoking as you two passed a cigarette back and forth, and he didn’t say anything else until he finished his smoke.

“I guess I was a disappointment to my old man too, or I’d have been if he’d have given a shit about me.” You looked at Daryl as he spoke, but he was looking ahead towards the darkness of the yard. He’d never told you something about his past and family, and even though it was sad, you wished he would keep going, eager to know more about him. “But I know I was a disappointment to my brother. Told me plenty of times.”

You hadn’t known Daryl had a brother, but the fact that he was talking in past made you think maybe he wasn’t around anymore or that Daryl hadn’t seen him in a while and so you decided not to say anything, not knowing Daryl’s feelings about it, you didn’t want to be a sad reminder. Still, you didn’t like that his brother might have told him that and that Daryl believed it. You had the feeling Daryl’s relationship with his family hadn’t been the best either, and his father and brother didn’t seem to be the best people.

“I don’t think you could be a disappointment at anything,” you said quietly, shyly, and Daryl looked at you weird, scoffing and shaking his head as if you had just said some nonsense.

“I was useless at school too,” he surprised you by keep speaking. “Didn’t finish high school or nothing.”

“Yeah, well, you are one of the smartest guys I’ve known anyway.” You shrugged, giving him a shy smile, but Daryl just scoffed again.

“Yeah, sure.”

He was not only smart but also skillful and resourceful, but you felt if you told him Daryl would only scoff again and get uncomfortable, and so you didn’t say anything else about it.

“I guess I was a disappointing friend too, my friendships never lasted long.” You said after a little while, letting out a sigh.

“Why?”

“Don’t know, I guess you should have asked my friends.” You shrugged, self-conscious. “I think the only time I had real friends, people to rely on, was in my old camp…” You all had helped each other, took care of each other, developing a tight relationship, they had taught you everything you knew about surviving. You couldn’t believe they were gone. “I don’t think it’ll come a day when thinking about them won’t hurt.” You whispered, hugging your knees to your chest.

“It won’t…but it’ll feel different…” Daryl said quietly and you just hummed before turning to look at him and give him a sad smile.

“I’ve gotten really lucky though, with this place and all you. Hope I won’t disappoint you all eventually…” You felt you were getting to have good friends again, and you were scared thinking you might do something wrong and lose them, and the idea of disappointing Daryl and him not wanting to hang out with you any more hurt.

“You won’t.” Daryl gave you a soft, quite awkward pat on the shoulder before getting up. “We gotta get up early to go hunting tomorrow again.”

*

“A squirrel’s gonna jump into your mouth if you keep yawning like that.” Daryl joked and you snorted, rolling your eyes. You both had gone out hunting right when the sun went up, and you had gone to sleep late at night as you had spent part of the night sat down together on the yard watching the stars.

“At least that way I’d hunt something.” You retorted and Daryl smirked, nudging you with his shoulder so you’d keep moving and trying to find the trail you knew he’d noticed.

You were glad Daryl had loosened up around you during the time you’d spent hunting together. He seemed a rather serious person, and he was, but he also was a fun guy to be around when he wanted to, on his own way, and you liked it when you got to see that part of him too. You didn’t think many people got the chance, just the ones who were really close to him. You were glad that slowly, he was letting you in more and more.

You didn’t know what to do with those feelings it gave you, though, those twirls you got in your stomach sometimes when you thought about him or when you managed to make him smile or he shared something about him with you. You didn’t want to dwell on that or acknowledge the feelings, knowing nothing good could come out of that.

Even if you maybe, maybe, might like Daryl in a way that was beyond friendship, he would never look at you like that, you knew it. He didn’t seem interested in relationships or anything like that, seeming to like to be alone, and besides, even if he were interested, he wouldn’t be into you. You didn’t think you had anything he might look for in a person, any trait he might want in a potential partner. And so you pushed those unwanted feelings down and ignored them as best as possible. At the very least, Daryl seemed to like you as a friend, and you were grateful for it. His company and friendship kept getting you through dark, sleepless nights, and you didn’t want to lose it.

“Where’s your mind today?” Daryl’s grumble took you back to earth. “You just stepped all over the trail without noticing it.”

“Sorry, just…sorry.” You apologized, blushing a deep red, and Daryl raised an eyebrow at you, seeming confused, before pointing the trail.

You followed it for a while until you found a rabbit ahead and both of you stopped still and quiet. Daryl nodded at you and you aimed your rifle and shot, smiling when you didn’t miss even though the kickback of the rifle still made you grunt in pain. You’d be dinning rabbit stew that night.

“Good.” Daryl gave you a smile and you nodded in thanks, rushing to take the rabbit and hung it from your belt as you tried to ignore the way in which his compliment made you feel.

“Is the crossbow harder than the rifle?” You asked him as you began walking again.

“It’s different.”

“But harder?”

“Don’t know, maybe.” Daryl shrugged and you nodded, silent for a little way, until Daryl glanced at you. “You gotta try it? The crossbow I mean.”

“Really?” You stopped to look at him surprised. “You don’t mind?”

“Nah.” Daryl shrugged and took off his crossbow, passing it to you.

“How do I load it?”

Daryl showed you the right way and then you tried yourself, trying not to curse at the effort of pulling at the string until it was where it should. Then you lifted it, aiming at a tree and allowed Daryl to carefully reposition your arms, different from how you held the rifle.

“Now, lose the arrow.” Daryl’s low voice close to your ear made you shiver ever so slightly, goosebumps forming on your skin, and you forced yourself to stop the nonsense and focus on your task, pressing the trigger.

“Damn it…it does feel different.” You weren’t even surprised you had missed your target.

“Told you,” Daryl smirked and to your relief, he didn’t seem disappointed at you. It seemed he never was, somehow. “Do you want to try again?”

You nodded, lowering the crossbow to take another arrow and load it but you stopped when you noticed Daryl looking around with a frown on his face. “What?”

“Thought I had heard something…”

“I don’t hear-” Before you could finish the sentence you noticed it too, muffled noises of what could be voices not too far. “Wait, yes.”

Daryl began walking towards where he thought the sound was coming from and you followed him until he made you stop and crouch down. You could see a woman ahead pointing her gun to a man on his keens while another man went through his bag, taking out supplies.

“We gotta help him.” You whispered to Daryl, who nodded. The woman and man had their backs to you and so you sprung into action, quickly and quietly.

“Y/N, wait,” Daryl called after you quietly, but you ignored him.

You reached them without them noticing you and swiftly you drove the butt of your riffle onto the man’s head and he fell down to the ground, unconscious. The woman dropped the bag, seeming surprised and turning to face you, but before she could do anything Daryl rushed to you, aiming his crossbow at her.

“Don’t move!” He warned her and you reached out to help the captive man up.

“You okay?” You asked him gently and he nodded, seeming dumbfounded as he looked from you to Daryl and back at you.

“Y/N, watch her,” Daryl told you and you rushed to aim your rifle at the woman while Daryl rummaged into his bag, taking out some cord. He pushed the woman onto her knees and tied up her hands. “He’ll untie you when he wakes up.” He nodded towards the unconscious man.

“Meanwhile you better not make a noise so walkers don’t notice you.” You added, and the woman glared at you both but said nothing.

“Come on.” Daryl began walking and you gestured to the man to follow you. Once you were far enough Daryl stopped and turned to look at the man who still seemed rather shocked and a bit intimidated under Daryl’s stare. You gave him a soft smile, hoping he knew he didn’t need to be scared and he was safe with both of you. “How many walkers have you killed?”

You stayed silent while Daryl did his questionary and by the end of it, he’d decided you’d take the man, whose name was Mark and who had gotten separated from his group and lost in the woods a couple of days ago, back to the prison with you.

Once there, you were joined by Rick who wanted to know who that man was and what had happened, and you let Daryl dealing with it while you went to the kitchen to work on the pieces Daryl and you had hunted. When you finished stewing them and went out, you noticed Mark approaching you.

“Hey, you doing okay?” You asked

“Yeah, yeah…this place is incredible though.” He looked around as in awe and you smiled, nodding. “I wanted to thank you for what you did, for helping me. It was awesome, really, I didn’t even notice you until you were knocking off that guy, you were like a shadow or something.

“It was nothing…” You shrugged, giving him an embarrassed smile.

“No, it was something! By the way, I was wondering if you’d show me around?”

“Have none given you a tour already?”

“Yeah but I still think I’d get lost just trying to go from the infirmary to the bathroom.” Mark chuckled awkwardly and you smiled, you knew it was hard to get used to this new place.

“Alright, come on.”

That evening, you were sat down for dinner next to Maggie, Daryl a couple seats away next to Carol, when Mark went to sat down next to you. He greeted you and then looked at Daryl.

“Hey, Daryl right? I wanted to thank you for helping me today.”

Daryl just nodded without saying anything, eyes on the stew he was eating. You began to eat too and so did Mark.

“Can’t remember the last time I ate something that wasn’t canned,” he said.

“We eat fresh meat daily thanks to Daryl, he’s a great hunter.” You smiled when you noticed Daryl rolling his eyes. “And with all the crops that we also have, we’re pretty lucky in the food department.”

“Yeah, I can see than, I’ve gotten lucky to be taken into this place!”

“You and me both!”

Later that night, when everything was dark and silent, you went to the yard to find Daryl, sitting down on top of the usual table.

“Hi.”

“Hey,” he passed you the cigarette, your own little routine. You had asked him once, a couple of weeks ago,  if he minded that you went to sit down by him, telling him you could stop if he wanted you to, afraid you were annoying him night after night, but he’d awkwardly shut your rambling, and so you’d kept joining him and having your quiet conversations.

“This is going to kill us.” You chuckled, taking a drag and passing the cigarette back.”

“Or that.” He nodded towards the walkers that you couldn’t see but that you could hear outside the fence, rattling it.

“I guess…” You let out a sigh.

“Anyway, it’s the last one I got.” Daryl passed it back to you.

“Really? That means we can be healthier from now on…or that we can try and find more next run.” You chuckled quietly and Daryl gave you a lopsided, soft smile. Honestly, it wasn’t the cigarettes what you cared for, but the company.

“How’s Mark doing?” Daryl asked you after a little bit of silence.

“Good, I think, getting to know the place, grateful we helped him.” You smiled at Daryl but he was looking ahead.

“Saw you walking him around.”

“Yeah, I know it can be difficult to get used to this and a bit overwhelming. I was lucky Maggie and you got me under your wing…especially you, you know.” You said as you pointed at Daryl’s winged vest, though as the words left your mouth you cringed at how lame it was.

Daryl looked at you seeming confused and then amused as he realized what you meant, rolling his eyes but giving you a soft smile that helped you feel like maybe he didn’t think you were silly.

“So that’s what you gonna do now, get the guy under your wing or whatever?” Daryl said as he looked ahead again.

“Guess I’ll help him around if he needs it, yeah.” You shrugged and he just hummed, and for a little while, none of you said anything.

“You did good today, those people didn’t notice you approaching.” Daryl’s words made you blush and you muttered thanks. “I’ve been thinking…just…” He didn’t seem to be very sure of what he’d been thinking and you looked at him, curious. “Cos you’re good at moving in silence, so maybe…dunno, maybe you…nah, nothing.”

“What?” You couldn’t help your confused smile, not used to seeing Daryl that babbling. “You want me to silently kill someone for you?” You teased.

“Not yet.” Daryl snorted, seeming to relax a bit. “I’ve just been thinking, that maybe when we’re out there, maybe you could like…try to sneak on me and then I could see if I can notice you.” He shrugged awkwardly and you blinked, surprised by his words.

“Really?” He just shrugged again, seeming more awkward. “I’d really like to! Like…we could train, it’d be so good, it’d help me improve too! And like…we could train with the knives too, maybe? I’ve seen how good you are too…” You wondered if maybe you weren’t getting a bit carried away and overexcited, but Daryl looked at you with a smile that had your stomach doing those weird twirls again.

“Okay.” He nodded. “Want to try tomorrow?”

“Yep! This is going to be so fun!”

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They kind of get along nicely, don’t they? If you have a moment, please, let me know your thoughts about the chapter!

As always, English is not my first language so sorry if there are mistakes.

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[littlebitoffanfic]

Playing The Part

Fandom: The Hills Have Eyes Characters: Lizard, others mentioned Relationship: Lizard/reader Request: Hm, maybe following the typical she was kept from one of their wrecks, and being trapped. Maybe she had some sort of skill that provided something to the village, or she was one of the few to have a successful delivery and was kept alive? I'm not sure. Yes, but like full textbook Stockholm Syndrome. He would kill her if she weren't needed and convenient to him, and she starts to cling to his rare moments of tenderness thinking he loves her maybe? A.N: im have some ideas for a part two as well.

 You couldn’t pinpoint the moment that you fell completely into the role you were playing. You couldn’t tell when your feelings went from pretend to real or when you genuinely started to believe that you really wanted this life. That you really wanted him. In that start, it was a game of survival. You played your part well, so well that even you began to believe it. You couldn’t remember much between standing at the gas station talking to the old owner to waking up in a dark room, your ankle tied to the bed.

---------------- flashback ----------------------

You were awaken by a pain in your head. The world around you felt like it was spinning and, for a moment, you thought you were just waking up from a bad night of drinking. But nothing felt the same. The bed was uncomfortable, the smell unpleasant and your skin felt grotty and dirty. Lulling your head to the side, you blinked, trying to focus your eyes. The room you were in was dull, with only the tattered old bed with no bedding on it which your ankles were bound to, a dresser unit and closet in the corner. You had little time to take in your surroundings as you heard heavy footsteps coming from the other side of the door. It swung open to reveal a large man who you later found out was called Pluto, followed by a skinner, smaller man, Lizard. Both were deformed, making you wince a little when you first saw them. Lizard stood at the door, waiting impatiently as Pluto unbound your legs. “C’mon.” Lizard snarled at Pluto, who huffed, pulling you to your feet and pushing you out of the room. You stumbled, barely able to comprehend what had happened as you were roughly guided through the hallway and down some stairs. At the bottom was a young looking girl, Ruby, watching you with wide eyes. Lizard pushed you down the last few steps, making you nearly fall into her. Pluto, protecting her, grabbed your arm and hauled you into the living area, where you met Jupiter. “First things first, we will kill you if you don’t do as we say, so don’t think of runnin’ or trying to fight us.” Jupitar grumbled as he, like the other two, towered over you. Nodding your head, you confirmed that you wouldn’t rebel. “Good. Look, we aint gonna hurt you if you’re useful.” Jupiter sat down on the edge of a chair, watching you carefully. Both Pluto and Lizard stood behind you, in an intimidating fashion. “How, how can I be useful?” you asked, your throat so dry that you had to start again. “Heard you’re good with cars. Got limited transport out here so we gotta keep on top of the cars we have. But the new ones are provin’ harder for us to fix. Plus, some medical knowledge would certainly be handy.” His eyes darted to Pluto, who you had noticed had a nasty infection in his eyes with a lot of puss. You assumed by the way his face and skull looked that he was deformed, but seemed to have a bit more swelling than normal. “How do…” you trailed off as you suddenly remembered the gas station owner. You had spoken to him for a bit and you told him about your medical background as well as your interest in cars. You had laughed with him, making a remark that a body is just a machine and can be fixed most of the time. Somehow, he was part of this. Somehow, he had told them about you and, somehow, that had kept you alive. “The human body is just like a car. It can be fixed if you know what you’re doing.” You nod to yourself, suddenly understanding exactly why you were here. Why you hadn’t been slaughtered. A voice whispered in the back of your mind. ‘play the part’. Keep yourself alive, play the role they want you to for now.

------------  

And so you had. You had played your part well. So well that you had somehow managed to fool even yourself. As you fought to earn trust from each of the family, you found a sense of joy when you realized it was working. Pluto and Ruby had been the easiest since you had spent the most time with them at the start. You cleaned up Plutos right eye, ridding the infection and allowing him to see slightly out of it. At first, his size and stature had intimidated you the most, but you quickly realized that he was a gentle giant, only looking out for his family. Ruby followed you wherever you went, with strict orders to report if you escaped. But you ended up watching out for her more often than not. Like when she had stumbled and nearly fell. You had managed to grab her arm, saving her. She thanked you but you waved it off, not knowing Goggle had seen the whole thing and reported back to the family that you had saved Ruby. That certainly helped your status. Lizard, on the other hand, had kept you at arms length when he wasn’t pushing you out the way. He would sneer at you, often leaving a room when you entered. You had seen his anger in full swing and tried to keep out of the way of it, but something else drew you to him. It was almost like a challenge. Like when you find a stray dog that barks and bites at you, but you could see something other than a deranged dog. That was Lizard. At least to you. you started small, with baked goods. Ones which you would give to everyone just to ease him into your new presence within the family. Then you moved on to more direct ways of helping him. When you were dropping off a new radio at Jupiter request, you found Lizard passed out on the sofa. You had slowly managed to remove his gloves from his hands. They were tattered and wore with massive holes in them. Taking them back to yours, you sew the holes shut and washed them, so they were clean. When you took them back, you didn’t both trying to put them back on. You left them on the table as well as pull the blanket over him. Lizard never acknowledged what you had done, nor did he ever. Not when you had mended his trousers or tops, or when you had managed to fix his spikes. But he did allow you to get… closer to him. He would stay in the same room as you, and even listen to your rambling while you were doing something rather than just cutting you off with a cruel “I don’t care”. That didn’t mean he had gone soft. Once, when you had been trying to figure out if a car was working again, you had turned it on and taken it for a drive to test it. And you hit spikes. Once you had managed to stop the car, the door swung open and you were hauled out by your hair. A hand wrapped around your throat and instantly began to cut off your air flow. You clawed at Lizards hand, thrashing as you tried to free yourself. In a moment of desperation, you threw your elbow back, swiftly jabbing him in the face and causing him to stumble back. Lizard, now with a bloody nose, managed to regain his footing. In three long, powerful strides, he walked up to you and slapped you across your face, so hard it caused you to fall to the ground with a cry. “Jupiter asked me to fix it. How else can I tell if its done?! You want Pluto taking it out and it exploding or some shit!” You cried out, adrenaline pumping through your body as you realized exactly what had happened. You placed a hand over your now burning cheek. Daringly, you look up at Lizard who was trying to wipe the blood away from his nose. But he wasn’t coming after you anymore, which meant he knew you weren’t trying to escape. Or, at least, had good enough reason to be in the car. “Tilt your head back.” You mumbled, stumbling to your feet as you rubbed your cheek. You were quite proud in some strange way. You had certainly gotten your own back, even if Lizard had landed the final blow. At least you weren’t bleeding. But you knew you had to make the next move. There was no point keeping any grudge or letting this carry on, especially after how far you had come. Pulling off the cardigan, you approached him like you were approaching a wolf. You kept a close eye on his movements as his attention was fully on yours. Gently, you used the cardigan sleeve to wipe away the blood from around his warped lip. He watched you like a hawk. Suddenly, he grabbed a hold of your wrist, squeezing it so tightly that you winced. “I’ll kill you if you ever try to escape.” Lizard suddenly growled but something felt… off. He had threatened you a thousand times before with real hatred in his voice. But this time, he sounded like he was trying to convince you, or maybe himself. “Im sure you will.” You nod, not daring to doubt him despite the change. “But, if Im not trying to, I’ll argue my case. In any way I can.” You look up at him, right into his piercing blue eyes. The bleeding had stopped, but you used the opportunity to be this close to him physically to speak to him. It felt a lot more intimate and maybe that would drive home what you said. “I might listen.” He partly sneered, but again, it was different. It felt almost as if it were a friendly joke as he let go of your wrist. A smile spread across your features as you laughed a little, but the adrenaline of the situation plus the blazing heat of the dessert plus your empty stomach seemed to have truly taken its effect as your giggles turned to full on laugher as you stepped back. “Yer insane.” Lizard remarked, but a small smile twitched at his lips, as if he found it endearing or something. “Look whos talking.” You giggle as you start to walk towards the car, throwing the bloodied cardigan in the open door. You didn’t see Lizard looking after you, or how his eyes travelled down your body, lingering in certain areas. But something snapped your attention in the distance. “Shit.” You mumbled, backing towards Lizard who followed your line of sight. A car was travelling down the road. “At least you have some bait.” You try to lift your uneasiness at the situation. You never got involved with kills. Never. “Get up tah Goggle. Don’t fuckin’ run. Yah hear me?!” Lizard demanded as he grabbed your arm, shaking you slightly. “Yes.” You nod, your eyes darting to the wrecked car before Lizard let you go, allowing you to run into the hills. Of course, Goggle had alerted everyone and within 3 hours, it was all over. The event did open a new level in terms of your relationship with Lizard. You quickly found that you actually preferred his company out of everyone elses. He had a dark sense of humour which only you seemed to be able to bring out. And you loved that. As you gained more trust in the village and, in turn, gained more responsibilities. Big Brain still hated you, but after some sharp looks from Big Mama (who had taken to you after she saw how much the children, Pluto and Ruby adored you), he became quieter. Of course, he would mumble to himself every time you entered the room, but you started responding as if he were speaking to you in normal conversations. “Breakfast.” He sneered one morning when you had been looking for Big Mamas brush. “Good morning.” You called, chirpily. “Do you want the curtains open?” “Weak, filthy.” His eyes followed you round the room. “How about just the back ones. so you don’t get the sun in your eyes when it hits 11.” You nod to yourself as you briskly walk across the room and pull open the curtain. “Crazy.” He sneered. “I slept well, thank you.” You smile and nod, using the time to pretending that you were having a conversation with anyone who would actually cared. But slowly, over time, you noticed he stopped with the truly nasty names. He started making demands like “open those curtains” or “I want water”. You always fulfilled the requests because, despite his nasty personality, you did feel sorry for him. He was trapped in this little room, unable to do much. “What if we painted this room?” you suddenly asked one morning, looking around at the faded wallpaper. “Don’t care.” He sneered, a little too quickly for you. “Well, how about florescent pink?” You asked, smirking at him, getting an immediate and resounding “NO!”. But he thought about it when you left, and when you returned that evening, he said one word to you. “Blue.” “Im sorry?” You ask, having been in a world of your own. “Blue. Like the sky.” He tried to spit the words at you, to make it sound like he was berating you for not listening to him. But when you looked at him, he couldn’t hold your gaze. “Do you want the ceiling done as well?” you ask, genuinely happy he seemed to be responding well to you. He barley tolerated his own family, so this was a big step. “Yeah.” He wheezed seeming a lot more relaxed from them on. OF course, when you walked up to Jupiter who was standing talking with Lizard and Goggle and asked for blue paint, you got some strange looks. “Why the fuck you want that?” Lizard snapped, obviously in the middle of a heated discussion with his father and brother. “To decorate Big Brains room. He didn’t like florescent pink so blue it is.” You tell them. Goggle cackled at the idea of painting the room pink, and you were honestly scared that he would get his hands on pink paint and do it just to piss Big Brain off. But he didn’t. Within the week, you had done the room. You never got a thanks, but Big Brain showed you he was grateful in other ways. Like not interrupting or snapping at you. Of course, once he was on your side, there was a change. And you started to be included in the killing. First, you joined Goggle as look out. And became fascinated with something you shouldn’t be. Watching Lizard as he killed. There was something so strong and primal about it that made your insides turn. He was violent and you noticed he was worse when you were around. As he was trying to prove something. Goggle told his brother about how your eyes never left him. Somehow, he fell into a pattern of coming up to you after a kill, where his hands are bloody, and touching you. Normally on the cheek and just in passing, leaving blood smeared on your face. What was worse was that you wanted more. You started to crave that touch which you knew would happened. The first few times, you and winced and rushed away to clean it off, but then you started getting to obsessed with Lizard to notice till he had left. He had just killed someone with his bare hands, in the most violent ways, but he was gentle when he touched your cheek. Almost affectionate. The touches started to send shiver through your body as you craved him more than you had ever know possible. Then, Jupiter made an announcement. On the next kill, you were to accompany Ruby down to the wreck. She would normally scout things out, running around and figuring out who had what but not getting her hands dirty. You could do that. It was late, nearly midnight, when Goggle called in a car coming along the road. It was a race to get ready before the others and meeting them at the edge of town. As you all raced to the road, Lizard had grabbed your arm. “Don’t do anythin’ stupid or get in the way.” He hissed in your ear, squeezing your arm a little too tightly, but you nodded anyway. “Good. Aint worth losing your head over ‘em.” As if to emphasize his point, Lizard pulled out the gun, letting the moonlight catch the silver before following Jupiter and Pluto while you were left to Ruby. She showed you the places to hid and sneak between as she gathers her information. “Wait here.” She whispered to you before disappearing into the hills, leaving you behind the bolder. You kept peeking out, keeping an eye on the situation. 5 males, mid 20s and they smelt stoned out of their heads. It should be pretty easy for Lizard and Pluto. Of course, Lizard got to one of the guys quickly, making him cry out of Lizard wrapped the spikes he had gathered back from the road around the mans neck. The friends when into panic and that allowed Pluto to get in and grab one, dragging him over to Lizard who dropped the body of the first. Shots filled the air as Lizard shot two in the leg for attempting to run. So one was dead, the second with Pluto and the third and fourth injured. But the fifth ? You had blinked and he was gone. Stepping out from behind the bolder, you looked around wildly. He had been near you, on the road. Where had he gone? Shit. Then your eyes caught the movement and saw the guy scramble behind the rock on the other side of the road just past the car. That didn’t worry you. What worried you was the knife in his hand. Shit, you had to follow him. That’s what you were there to do, right? You moved towards the road, your only motive to find out where the guy had gone. What if he snuck around the rock? What if he was watching for someone? Ducking behind the car, you didn’t think the other two had noticed you. You should have called out where you were going, but you wanted to please the family. Three more gunshots filled the air as Lizard headshot each of them remaining ones. If you bought home a kill, or at least kept tabs on a victim, that would certainly do you a favour. It would impress them. It would impress Lizard. Then you saw the man run to the next rock, and you panicked. He was making his way around. Taking off in a sprint, you knew if he got into the gap in the hills, it would be hell to find in the low light with only the headlights of the car to work by. No, you had to keep close to him. A hand grabbed you by the hair and hauled you backwards. You let out a screech of pain, your hands flying up to try and free yourself. “Where yah goin’?” Lizards voice hissed in your ear and you felt your blood run cold. No, no, no, this was going to earn trust, not break it. Panting slightly, you could hear the anger in his voice. And he wasn’t one you could reason with easily. “I-I was going to help you.” You stammered, tears starting to prick your eyes. “Liar.” The voice condemned your statement and then you felt a sharp pain in the back of your knees. Lizard kicked your legs, making you collapse to the floor as he let go of your hair.   A click made your heart stop as you look up. Lizard moved in front of you and stood over you, a gun pointed right at your forehead. He had stepped in front of you, blocked your view. You had to think quick. “You’ve only got one bullet left, and I’d suggest saving it for the guy hiding behind that rock.” You tried to keep your voice from shaking, but failed half was through your sentence. The barrel of the gun pressed against your forehead, the metal cold against your heated skin. “Liar.” Lizard snarled, his voice low as he glared down at you. But movement from behind him caught your attention. Glancing past him, you saw the man. Except, instead of running away, he was running toward you with a knife in his hand. Oh god. You realised that it looked like you were a victim, just like his friends. He was going to get Lizard while he was distracted with you. Oh god. You acted quick, so quick that you didn’t get a chance to think. Your instincts kicked and took over your body. With a quick slapped, you managed to knock the gun away from your head and you moved quickly upwards onto your feet. Grabbing the knife from Lizards belt, you used all the force from your quick movement to knock Lizard to the side just as the guy got within a foot of you both. Raising the knife, you brought it down and into the side of his neck. All this took place in the space of seconds as the man starts to splutter. The knife he had was dropped to the ground as he gasped for air. As if to finish the kill, you pulled the knife out of his neck and stumbled back. The full weight of what just happened hit you. You were now a killer. There was no going back. But you had killed to save Lizard. This was all just meant to be a game, an act to try survive. But then why did you feel a genuine concern for him that went beyond just feeling it, but to the point you would kill for him. Your mind raced as you forgot where you were. Until you felt a palm on your cheek. jumping, you saw Lizard standing in front of you, his eyes trained on your face while his hand moved over your right cheek. You felt his thumb brush under your eye, making you think he was just wiping away tears, but as his hand pulled back slightly, you saw blood. Some blood must had splattered on your face during the kill.   Lizard stepped closer, his other hand coming up to grasp at the back of your neck as his front pressed against you. The thumb with the blood lowered to your lips and you felt him gently brush your bottom lip as he silently commanded something of you. Opening your mouth slightly, you allowed him to push his thumb past your lips to meet your tongue. Closing your lips around his thumb, you gently sucked and licked, cleaning it. Lizards eyes never left your own, but his mouth opened slightly and something much more primal stirred in both of you. Pulling his thumb back, he ran his hand in to your hair as he grabbed a handful and crashed his lips onto your own. Rough and dominating, you allowed yourself to completely submit to him in a selfish desire for something completely fucked up and insane. You… wanted him. kissing him back, you pressed against him, raising your hands to his chest as you grabbed fistfuls of his top. A soft snarl left his throat as he pulled away from your lips, simultaneously pulled your hair to tilt your head backwards. Ducking his head, Lizard slowly licked the side of your neck, where more blood must have splattered. Looked up at the stars above, you couldn’t help the coy smile at pulled at your lips. “I don’t mind it when you pull my hair like this.” You said, playfully, like the two of you were in some nightclub or bar, not standing beside a body. A body that had been forgotten about. You felt Lizard smirk against your neck and a soft chuckle left his lip.   You didn’t know what you had gotten yourself in for, but the thrill of the moment silenced any doubts or worries you had.

[stilladoctorwhofan]

My Journey Into X-men / Curse of the Mutants

So I’ve been reading pretty much everything X-men related from Decimation era (except Wolwerine solo stuff) for a while now, so I thought with the quarantine upon us, I might start posting some thoughts on it.

Era: Decimation

Current arc: Curse of the Mutants

Year: 2010

List of issues:

Death of Dracula #1 X-Men Curse of the Mutants Blade #1 X-men Curse of the Mutants Saga #1 X-men (2010) #1 -#6 Curse of the Mutants Storm & Gambit #1 X-men Curse of the Mutants Smoke & Blood #1 X-men vs Vampires #1- #2 Namor The first Mutant #1 - #4

The story:

For any fans of Marvel vampire comics out there, please bear with me, Death of Dracula is the first ever thing from that world I’ve ever read. The first issue of this arc Death of Dracula #1 starts with a huge gathering of various vampire sects. As the title suggests dear old Dracula gets killed in this one by the younger of his two sons. Most of the issue then is about some infighting among the vampire sects and trying to find out who’s loyal to the new master’s cause. As that gets settled, it’s time for a new plan - the vampires need to get out of the shadows and become creatures of days, thanks to this new gizmo watch looking thing that prevents them getting burned once they step into the sun. This is what also saves the older and more likable son of Dracula, Janus who would have otherwise been killed as a traitor.

The first step en road to world domination is picking up the world’s vampire slayers one by one, until ultimately only Blade survives. Figuring that the vamps will go for the mutants next in order to make already super-powered people into vamps, so he makes his way into Utopia. That’s basically Curse of the Mutants Blade #1  in a nutshell.

I’ve pretty much skipped over Curse of the Mutants Saga #1 as this one serves solely to introduce the X characters to readers and as an advertisement for the next issues of X stuff.

Over in X-men Cyke sends Pixie to check on de-powered Jubilee who is still living in the Bay Area. As the two try to catch up, they get rudely interrupted by a vamp who blows himself up. Jubilee gets caught in the blast and is brought to Utopia where Dr. Nemesis figures out that Jubes got infected. What he and the other mutants don’t know is that she was the intended target of the blast with the other people caught in the explosion being pretty much just cannon fodder. As all of them make their way to the vamps, not being able to fight the call, Jubilee keeps resisting and fighting at first.

The mutants and Blade try to figure out what to do next as they see the crazy numbers of vamps they’re standing against thanks to a re-calibrated Cerebra, with Cyclops acknowledging that they are in no way ready for an all out war with the vamps. Therefore the best solution they can come up with is Emma’s - better the devil you know, then the one you don’t. Hence mutants + Blade decide that reviving Dracula is their best course of action. As they figure this out, Jubilee is no longer able to resist and joins the vamps and as these guys are no Edward Cullen and co. but real vamps, she gets turned.

In Curse of the Mutants Gambit and Storm #1  Storm accompanied by Gambit make their way to vamp island in order to retrieve Dracula’s body. They run into Janus who prefers the X-men’s plan over his brother’s leadership, so they form a temporary alliance, but surprise, surprise, they get attacked. Storm ends up falling down into a pit where some vamps are hibernating in order to block access to the island, unfortunately for her these are connected by  tubes and are feeding on some poor suckers who are still alive and conscious. They beg Storm to save them, but Gambit and Janus run out of time and unless she destroys the vamps, Cyclops won’t be able to send in his X-team. In the end, she has no other choice but to put down vampire and human alike in yet another showing of the whole “X-men don’t kill” thing being BS, but at least this time is somewhat forgivable. With the protection down, the X-men come in and end the rest of the vamps who were attacking Gambit and Janus. Janus takes off and Storm  has a depressive exchange with Remy about having to kill (once again).

Meanwhile over in Curse of the Mutants - Smoke & Blood #1 the X-club tries to devise a cure for the poor suckers who got hid by the vamp!bomb and who have gone a little crazy. Nemesis, Rao and Jeffries get shut in the lab with the crazy vamp wannabes and the vamp corpse. Cyke is off island, so Emma is running things on Utopia which doesn’t make Nemesis happy. Jeffries figures out that the vamps have hijacked his brain and mutant abilities and intends to go the suicide by Dr. Rao way. But by then  Nemesis figures out that the change in Jeffries and the vamp people is not caused by anything physical, rather it’s psychic influence causing it. So Emma comes to the rescue as she delivers a blow to poor Jeffries brain. So in the end it’s psychic powers vs. magic powers which once again doesn’t make Dr. Nemesis happy at all. For some reason some of the scenes in this issue cracked me up:

Dr. Nemesis & the astral twitterfeed:

Dr. Nemesis day in this issue in a nutshell:

Dr. Nemesis rocking that constipated look:

SF is in for a psychic enema:

X-men vs. Vampires #1 & #2 are two anthologies of stories of mostly second-tier X-men characters and their more or less accidental meetings with the vamps. There’s Husk, there’s Dazzler, Rockslide & Hisako on a supply run and so on. There’s also a short story on Angel vs. Archangel and their lust for killing when it comes to the vamps. The two stories that stuck with me were the one with Gambit - I don’t even remember what the story was though completely, it’s just that the color scheme of that story was really pretty:

The second one was the one about Magneto and while it also had great art, it was also an interesting glimpse of a story. Magneto runs into someone who he thought long perished in the holocaust. It turns out that on the train from the ghetto, the boy was picked up by a vampire and turned into one himself. Two guesses how this story ended though...

X-men #3 - #6 is where we finally get to the action. Cyclops sends Wolverine to retrieve Jubilee while Namor brings back Dracula’s head. The mutants on Utopia revive Dracula and end up losing him without making any kind of official agreement with him. Meanwhile Logan tries to rescue Jubes but as she has been completely turned she ends up turning him into a vampire. Xarus and the vamps plan their assault on Utopia while Cyke plans the defense. Everyone on Utopia who can’t turn himself into some unbitable form goes into hiding with the exception of Scott Summers because leader’s prerogative y’all. He unleashes Archangel on the vamps’ air troops who end up getting decimated. The Atlanteans fight their way through the underwater!vamps. Xarus is not giving up and drop Vamp!Logan on Utopia who goes on a tangent about Cyclops dictatorship over mutants. What the vamps didn’t count with was Scott Summer’s tactical skills - he was fully expecting Logan to be turned into a vamp, so he had Dr. Rao and Nemesis make sure that they can have Logan switched back to normal like flipping a switch - when they were investigating Logan’s healing factor and it’s effects on vampirism they made sure to inject him in order to turn off his healing factor temporarily. Logan is not happy with Cyclops once again and they’re gonna have words eventually, but first they both wanna take care of Xarus.

Except Vlad Dracula himself beats them to it and kills Xarus himself. Blade still wants to kill Dracula, but Cyke stops him given their unspoken agreement with the vampire lord, so he ends up knocking Blade out with his optic blast. Dracula points out that he could still technically continue Xarus’ plan to turn Utopia’s mutant population into vampires with a cooler head. Cyke’s not having it, even if he’s bluffing his way out of the situation. Dracula doesn’t really believe his bluff, but still calls it a day given Cyke’s guts and leaves the X-men a small gift in the form of vamp!Jubilee.

Blade tells Logan that the only way out of the situation is a wooden stake through Jubes’ heart, but Wolverine can’t bring himself to agree. Elsewhere Cyke and Emma also consider the situation and Emma can’t help but agree with Blade, Scott wants to keep his hopes up for now.

That concludes the vamps. vs mutants battles for now. The first issues of Namor The First Mutant were also a part of this arc and I long fought with myself to decide if I was gonna read those as well. If there’s one Marvel character I can’t stand, it’s gotta be Namor. I guess it’s his arrogance - I know there are plenty of arrogant characters in Marvel and I even like some of them, but they just have soem redeeming qualities and I have yet to find any for Namor. So I tried the first issue and just couldn’t finish it to be honest.

All in all, this wasn’t exactly the best X-men arc, but I really enjoyed the conclusion of it in the later issues of the X-men. It showed why Scott Summers is often considered to be the No. 1 strategist in the Marvel Universe. At the same time, I know that this came out not so long before Schism, so while this is vamp!Logan talking, at least some part of regular Logan probably agrees with the notion:

Is he right? Probably to some extent. At the same time, unfortunately given the situation that the mutants are facing at this point of time, someone like General Summers is exactly what they need. Would they have survived either Osborn or the vampires or both without his leadership? Probably not.

To end this, have some panels of Scott Summers being the kickass strategist and leader he can be at his best:

[tingfeiart]

Unloved Tragedy - Chapter 3 - “No Longer His”

Chapter 3 of Unloved Tragedy, a Peter Pan x Treasure Planet Fanfiction

Word Count: 1,499

Table of Contents

A wave of nostalgia overwhelmed Peter as he descended from the dark clouds. London hadn't changed at all. He had honestly forgotten how it looked since he had last visited, but the familiarity returned to him very quickly. The bridges, the streets, the roads filled with vehicles. It was like re-awakening a sleeping memory. He paused by stopping on the minute hand of Big Ben, to take in the beauty of the city in the nightlights.

Why didn't he visit more often?

He quickly shook off the question. No. If he came too often, he might change his mind about staying in Neverland forever. The longer he stayed or the more often he visited, he would get all these weird ideas in his head, conflicting ideas that challenged his morality. No. It had to be done sparingly. Besides, if he came too often, he would grow bored over the beauty of this enormous city!

So taken with the beauty, absentminded Peter realized he almost forgot about why he was here. Oh shoot! Wendy! I've gotta see her! He immediately darted from his spot on Big Ben for Wendy's house on the corner of Bloomsbury Street. Peter didn't need to know its exact coordinates. He just knew where she was. He couldn't explain why or how it worked, but he had developed a sharp skill that allowed him to sense where his true believers were. The best way to describe it would be like a dog searching for food by its scent.

He didn't actively think about looking for the house. His body just knew how to fly. It left him room to think about Tink's words before he left. Why was Tink so insistent on me not seeing Wendy? And why couldn't she just tell me what she saw? She's hiding something, that fairy! And no one can keep things from Pan! The stubborn boy decided to dismiss her warning and continued to invest his excitement toward reuniting with his long lost friend.

He realized, he was making an awfully long journey just to hear Wendy tell stories about him. At least, that was his justification for coming here. But was there something more? Did he want to speak to Wendy? He wasn't sure what he would even say. He couldn't remember some of the things they've talked about that he would bring up. How would he go about doing that? Hey Wendy, great storytelling! Hey Wendy, missed me?

Wendy, I need you.

Wait.

NO!

He didn't need Wendy. Pan needs no one!

But he could not deny that words Hook spoke in his dream aroused in him a deep despair that he stubbornly fought. Wendy leaving him? No, why would it bother him?! He let her leave!

Someone in his place? Husband? No way, Wendy wasn't pretty enough to find a husband! And no one was better looking or more marvelous than Pan!

There it was! The corner house! Wendy's house! His eyes traveled the brightest speck - the window he knew all to well! That means Wendy is awake! He accelerated his flight toward that window, his breathing rate increased with his elevating excitement. Wendy, it's been too long! He stuck his nose to the window glass and narrowed his line of sight to the details of the room.

His excited breathing stopped. Something was not right. What was he seeing?

A young woman with soft curves, wearing a loose, revealing, blue camisole, with her long, messy hair let down, was sitting arched back on a bed, breathing heavily.

And there was a man... well, perhaps not a man like Hook, but somewhere between the age of Peter and Hook, with his mouth on the woman's neck. His mouth moved from her neck slowly to her lips, and Peter knew exactly what he was doing.

A thimble.

When Peter was at his lowest point, nearly about to be finished by Hook, he had experienced something he had never felt before. And yet, suddenly he was reminded about how wonderful, invigorating, and powerful it felt. The chills from his spine rising, he could recall the exact sensation he felt when Wendy gently placed her lips on his.

I remember now. That's what Wendy had given me.

Wendy had risked her life to save him from nearly getting killed. She had muttered the words "This belongs to you, and always will." How could he have forgotten, after all this time? Wendy had given him one of the greatest gifts of all, and he took it for granted.

The woman let out a deep swoon as the man's hands, originally placed on her shoulders, began to travel down to her waist. As she turned her head, her face was cleanly revealed.

Wendy?!

Peter immediately stopped himself from calling her by cupping his mouth shut. Now that he had fully registered what he was seeing, he couldn't believe this was happening. His worst nightmare had come true. This new, older, beautiful Wendy, was embracing another man, and giving him her thimble.

There is another in your place. He is called husband.

"Stop, stop it! Go away!" Peter growled under his breath. Tension began to rise in his insides as he gathered all his energy to expel the memory of Hook's words from the dream.

With the anger ignited, Peter could no longer behold this beautiful Wendy with pleasure. His memory of her thimble was now shattered by the strong contempt for this strange man, and by his gullibility. Everything he knew and believed about thimbles, none of it was true. He was lied to! He was fooled!

This man had brown, curtain-like hair and a rat-tail. He had a sharp jaw-line. On his left ear, he wore a single gold earring. While locked in a thimble with Wendy, he removed his shirt to reveal a chiseled body. Peter wasn't sure how he knew this, but somehow he knew that this man was handsome, more handsome than he.

For the first time in forever, Peter felt unworthy, even disgusted with himself. He never thought he would feel jealous over another man more marvelous than he, but acknowledging his jealousy made him feel sick. Pan could not be vulnerable. He would not allow it. Pan would be disappointed with himself.

Without wondering why he wanted to, Peter lifted up his shirt to looked at his torso. He pressed on his ribs, but felt nothing but bone, to his dismay. Dropping his shirt, he then pressed his cheek bones and stroked his chin. Nothing about him was chiseled at all. He still had the body and face of a boy.

What happened next, made Peter gasp. His beautiful Wendy slid her camisole off. She and the man went underneath the covers of the bed and tightly embraced one another. Aghast, Peter immediately turned away. He knew that if he continued to stare, he might vomit, or let the fire of anger burn beyond extinction, and cause him to do, or say, the despicable.

That was his Wendy. His Wendy! Giving a thimble, a thimble that would always belong to him, to another man, a man older and more handsome than he! How dare she? She had made a promise, and she destroyed it!

He would not have it.

He never thought he would wish ill things on Wendy, whom he had permitted to leave Neverland to grow up. He had wished her happiness, however, not at the expense of his. For the first time, he knew what it felt like to have his heart cut in half. Betrayed, even. He wasn't used to these emotions, and his inability to understand them only made him more frustrated. He could not deny it anymore. He wanted Wendy for himself. No one could have her!

No longer wanting to continue watching Wendy and this strange man embrace, Peter made his exit by elevating to the roof. For the first time, he struggled to summon the will to fly. He couldn't gather those happy thoughts he relied so much on to defy the gravity of tragedy that weighed him down. He sat on the roof and heaved a deep sigh. He knew if he tried to fly back to Neverland now, he wouldn't make it. He'd fall.

He needed to be alone with his thoughts. He didn't even know what he had just saw, and yet, why was he so angry by that?

Someone in your place.

Husband.

Incomplete.

Unloved.

Tragic.

"Shut up!" He grabbed his head and hunched over, his forehead touching his knees. "You're wrong! You're lying, Hook!" He began to stomp his feet on the tiled roof as if he needed to throw a boy's tantrum. His breathing accelerated once more. He was breathing so fast, that he started to hiccup.