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mrarchewannabe · 4 years ago

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First Contact and it's Complications: Part 2 Biology Lesson

This is head researcher Bea'zikal following up from my previous reports as I stated before, I do apologize for the lack explanation and detail in those entries and I will now give you the full documentation of what I have observed with my time spent with Humanity and more specifically Human Head researcher who is referred to as Jamal Alteriq, a very fine scientific mind and excellent guide as he was the one to be our ambassador through Human space and of course to keep eyes on us. We saw many incredible things on our journey and I will explain in due time, but I thought it wise to give a basic run down on human biology to better help visualize the scenes I will explain in later logs. (Note: I advise you to open the attached encrypted files for observation while reading)

Humans are lightly Haired mammals that evolved on a rich but highly diverse Planet that was covered in approximately 71% water with humans living on the 29% of Land, resources were plentiful but competition was fierce as many species competed for control of those same resources, the resources in question being food and 'fresh' water which is a specific term as humans cannot drink water that is above or below a certain Ph. Level or a has a heavy imbalance of minerals;They also cannot drink any water that is contaminated with parasites, or Planetary elements such as dirt. This of course isn't to say humans have entirely weak stomachs as they are capable of consuming certain acids such as Malic and Citric Acid which is used in food flavoring, and of which would result in violent death should either substance be consumed by a Zeatikian, in addition to consumption of such compounds they can digest Certain forms of Alcohol and many forms of Capsaicin which many of course know isn't poisonous but considered non-edible to all Zeatikians and instead sees a use as a defense weapon. Moving on from the topic of consumable and non-consumable liquids brings us to eating habits; Humans specified as Omnivore 'Persistence' Predators, and can consume a wide variety of Meat and Plants, which a balance of both is needed to maintain peak physical form and a healthy digestive and immune system. From what Human Head Researcher Jamal Alteriq has told me ancient human hunting wasn't chasing down prey at high speeds but rather simply outlasting it in a slower walk chase(Note: Humans have a extreme amount of stamina and can walk for hours at a time as they evolved to efficiently maintain a pace of speed) and when the prey was tired and unable to continue on humans would slay the creature and bring it back to be cooked then consumed. (Note: Cooking is one of the few things that are shared in Both Zeatikians and Human evolution) Head Researcher Jamal Alteriq also informed me that eventually ancient Humanity began Agriculture and that is what primarily began to start up human culture and civilization.(Note: again one of the few things that are shared amongst our history)

Head Researcher Jamal Alteriq told me of the Human Life stages which are of a very different cycle of our own from our People the Zeatikians, conception of offspring is relatively the same between our two species, but with various degrees of success in humans as their method of reproduction is relatively different between Human to Human. Head Researcher Jamal Alteriq Suggested that's all we do to speak on the matter and I obliged his request how ever odd I thought it was.(Note: After doing research on this topic myself I also now recommend that all Zeatikian researchers stay away from this topic as well as it's very traumatizing to look at) Humans generally can only have one child every half a cycle but it can be more numerous if chance allows it, and human offspring is extremely vulnerable and must be cared for by it's parents constantly otherwise it will most likely guaranteed to perish; of course in this time human 'infants' (Note: Infants are the name for children that under a cycle and half old) are cared for by not only the parents but also other humans hired to be care takers as well that can give the infants whatever they need at anytime while the parents set off to complete tasks.

Humans possess what is called an Endoskeleton(Note: Observe attached files) which gives their bodies structure and allows an anchor for their extremely complex muscular system as well as keep internal organs safe and secure. This Endoskeleton is made up of bones of very high calcium content and is extremely durable and strong, shown being able to with stand many hits that could cripple, paralyze or downright kill a healthy Zeatikian. Infant humans start out with more numerous but weaker bones and cartilage numbering around 300 individual structures but eventually after many cycles they all fuse into their respective positions and become stronger and thicker; this is most prominent around what they call their 'Skull' which is a bone structure that contains their brain and connects to the spinal column (Note: Observe Highlighted Area) and starts out segmented and eventually becomes fully fused and one solid structure in about 22 cycles. Part of the function of the skull is a basic one hinged jaw that contains anywhere from 32 to 36 bone structures they call teeth which allows them to tear through tougher foods and aids in digestion, the human jaw is relatively weak surprisingly only able to produce 300UPSQ which would absolutely be enough to hurt a Zeatikian so I would advise you be careful.

Adolescent Human offspring undergoes a change around 9 Cycles in males and 7.5 in females, as they approach sexual maturity they begin to swell on muscle mass and increase in growth exponentially over a time period of 4 cycles, during this time hormones are pumped through and over about 1.5 to 2 cycles the voice deepens and body hair is increased, this incredible change is known to cause certain behavior changes as well as changes in diet and appetite. Many human females have certain large orifices located on their chests that are used primarily to feed their young, which should have been obvious seeing how I have already stated they are indeed mammals,(Note: I have been told to report on this much only as logging anymore would make many among the human population uncomfortable, I do not know why but I shall oblige) and as mammals they are indeed warm blooded, which means they do not take too well to fluctuating temperatures as Being in below freezing temperatures for too long can lead to a humans death in about 20 minutes should they be naked in said weather; and so if in the future you have humans boarding your vessel be sure to keep it atleast a median temperature of 400TM and provide them with necessary heating elements if they do not have any.

Humans possess a 'Circulatory system' much like our own that pumps blood all across it's body at a very steady rate of 60 to 100 beats per tick, which is quite slow compared to our 120 to 150 beats per tick. Humans also possess a blood color that shines a bright red compared to that of a Zeatikian that has a bright purple hue, both of our species have iron in our respective Hemoglobins but our kind carries what they call 'Hemerythrin' while they carry whats called 'Heme' and thus that's what gives the difference in blood pigmentation. They also possess various different organs that process everything from sugars and proteins to alcohol and carbs, the 'Liver' which is described as a 'Blood Filter' cleanses the blood as it passes through it, while organs like the 'Kidneys' process liquid waste, sugars, salts, and all minerals to help keep it stable within the body.

The Human 'Immune system' is a very strong and very important system in the human body as humans do not have segmented Carapaces like all Zeatikian's have, rather they possess a skin of 7 layers and this layered skin protects the body from the outside world, when penetrated or slashed open blood will began to flow out much like a broken carapace or cut joint segment would, the cells in the human would try to seal the cut with platelets which will form a scab, which is a temporary seal while the skin is being repaired anew; as this process does share similarities with the way our Carapace heals itself our process is much slower while the humans can heal their skin in a matter of a few rotations depending on the severity of the injury. Of course during the cut possible bacteria and other such microorganisms could have infiltrated the bloodstream and usually once successful they become targeted by the protector cells or as humans call them 'white blood cells' for destruction.

The 'Digestive track' is relatively self-explanatory so I will be brief on the subject, when food is consumed it is first chewed and made wet by the 'Saliva' a human produces in their mouth which helps break it down further and eases the transfer of food from the mouth down the 'Trachea' as they call it and into the 'Stomach' which becomes broken down by 'Stomach' acid,various compounds,and gut bacteria that absorb the nutrients and forward the waste through what humans call the 'Large Intestine' which then transfers through the 'Small intestine' which is the excreted by the Human, relatively the same processes any Zeatikian goes through.

Humans of this modern era however are nearly perfect as about 1000 cycles ago an event on their home world that was put into motion made humans as nearly perfect as they could be biologically, but this change however was not a instant process as the changes would only take place slowly after every generation, each one living longer then the last, getting sick less, and less in the population being born with genetic conditions that had debilitated humanity for eons. Nowadays it is rarer for humans to catch a sickness, but impossible for any human being to be born with a genetic condition aside from the few they found desirable. Many live long fulfilling lives from what I'm told by Head Researcher Jamal Alteriq, some living their full total lifespans of 200 cycles which I can only dream of living a mere 40 cycles let alone a long 200 cycles.

This concludes my report on the basic biology of humanity I hope you found it informative and helpful, I shall work on my next log about human economic and social status, which Human Head Researcher Jamal Alteriq Helped immensely on.

Head Researcher Bea'zikal Signing off

(I hope you enjoy the sequel to what I wrote first I'm really proud of this one but please tell me if there is anything I could do to better my writing? Constructive criticism is appreciated, more parts on the way)

#science fiction #humans are space orcs #sci fi/fantasy #sci fi #writing #aliens #scifiandfantasy

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gloriousprofessorhan · 4 years ago

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Locked

You’re locked in a building with EXO D.O!

(re-upload ‘Locked’, AFF, 2018)

You looked around and found the building is almost empty, only one last person beside you standing in front of a big glass door.

“The new security system seems good.” he said while you made your way towards him to look at the thing he was talking about. You’re the brand manager at one of most luxurious boutique in your city, the boutique takes place in the heart of the town and sell limited goods of luxury items. “You’re gonna stay in late?” your co-worker asked you.

You nodded, “year end report...”

“Good luck.” he playfully jabbed your shoulders, he’s the engineer of the building who is also your friend in college, so you kind of close with him, as friends, and he already have a lovely girlfriend. “if you feel threaten remember the CCTV that works is the one in west side, also remember the blind spots.”

“You guys haven’t repaired the east wing?” you know there’s some problems with the CCTV at the east wing which is facing the storage and part of the office. your co-worker shook his head, “this boutique sell many expensive items, your team should fix it soon!”

“I will, ma’am.” he often teasing you because you’re practically own the high position in this boutique.

You snickered before pushing him away, “go! spent this lovely Christmas eve with your girl.”

“Should I feel bad for you?” he asked.

“Yeah, you better feel bad for me because even the security decided to take leave today.” you rolled your eyes and he laughs. you stretched your arms after he left, peeking gently to the see the clock. 10.11 pm. your working hour ended 5 hours a go and you went home to take a shower, and prepared to stay at the office because you need to do your report.

This task could actually be done during the working hour if its not for the chaos happened to your department during the day. There’s a big fashion event and year end award event held in your city since three days ago, all fashionistas and celebrities need to be dressed up and the boutique where you work is one of the place who sell the bottomline of trendy yet luxurious items which makes all the stylist came and fight for a piece for their clients.

You walked around and checked every corner of the store, the window display, you nod in satisfaction for the work of your visual merchandising team. then you went to the jewellery section, admiring the new pieces of Tiffanys and Franks. you move to the shoes and bags section. silently loving the silence.

You went to the back where there’s a small coffeeshop in the middle of beautiful indoor garden full of flowers and tropical plants, this coffeeshop is free of charge for client to wait for their shopping bags. you made yourself a cup of coffee while scanning the cool chiller which have mini cakes, scones, and pastries. This boutique is surely a wonderful place.

Suddenly you hear something rustling.

You froze on you place and sharpened your ear.

Krssk.

Is it a rat? no, impossible. you knew the cleaning team here is more than professional to let one little mice sneaking around the building.

Krsskk.

You started to feel scared. is it a ghost? nah. You don’t believe in them.

“W-who’s there?” you tried to sounds fine. You hands are looking for something you can use as a weapon. “WHO”S THERE???”

suddenly the wall storage--storage which seamless on a wall--door is open and a man came out. You gasped and he looked surprised too.

“DO NOT MOVE!!” you shouted at him. “I have a knife in my hand!” you showed him your hand.

His big round eyes turn his gaze towards your hand and looking at the knife you brought, “but that’s a plastic knife...” he said in a funny english.

“You never know what i can do with this.” you tried to sounds violent.

“Okay. i’m scared. now let me explain.” he said.

You scanned him from head to toe, and as someone who work for fashion world you know exactly what he wears. a good branded stuff... “YOU’RE A THIEF!!”

“What??” he scrunched his eyes.

“Take off your clothes!!”

“WHAT???” he raised his voice.

“You heard me! you’re a thief! you took ‘em all from here!!”

“This??” he pointed at himself, “This is my clothes!!”

You paused. well, those clothes for sure are branded and his t-shirt was limited, but you knew it was from the last season, not the latest, your boutique doesn’t have them anymore. but still why would someone who wear such a nice clothes is sneaking around an empty store.

You suddenly ran to a corner to a button which only staff would know. A new security system that had been installed just now. you pushed it and the loud sound of machine working and clicking locking all the doors. “HA! NOW YOU’RE TRAPPED HERE, THIEF!!!”

The guy raised his eyebrows, “yeah, with you.”

oh shit.

You scoffed, trying to sounds relax, “nope, i know how to escape. i work here. so, i know.”

“No, you don’t” he chuckled.

You didn’t say anything but you still have the plastic knife in front of you, pointing at him.

“Would you let me explain now?” he asked.

You have no choice but to slightly nod.

“This might sounds crazy, but-uhm-I’m a celebrity who ran away from fans and ended up hiding behind those wall storage.” he explained.

You’re trying to look for any sane information there, “you’re a what?” you chuckles, bitterly chuckling.

“I’m not lying.”

“Pfft...hahaha...hahahaha...” you laughs, half mocking.

“Google me.”

“Hahahah... hahahaha... a celebrity who ran away from fans? if your fans is that many, why you’re walking alone?” you asked, “sir, i saw many celebrities come and go in this store, and if they’r really famous, they will walk around with a manager, one or two bodyguards... hahaha... you cannot fool me, sir.”

“Seriously, google me.”

You have no choice, you fished your cellphone from the back of your jeans and still with high caution, you open google app, “what’s your name.”

“Doh Kyungsoo.”

You lift your head to him, “huh??”

“Exo D.O” he said, “letter D, dot, letter O”

You typed EXO D.O and articles and images starts flowing in. Still very cautious, you click images and trying to match the face. the guy took off his hat and showed you his face and hair.

Okay, they looked the same. but you still need more proof. “D.O, when is your birthday?”

“January 12, 1993, come on, that’s too easy. go search D.O mole, or beauty spot. something other people can’t copy.”

You squints your eyes but searched what he asked.

“Here.” he turned a bit and pointing at some places behind his ears, “are we good now?”

You raised one of your eyebrows, “why are you here?”

“i told you i was running away from fans... okay okay, let me explain to you from the start.” he took a deep breathe, “i am D.O from EXO, i don’t know if you knew about EXO or not, but we’re kind of biggest K-pop boyband right now.”

“Really?” your voice doesn't shows that you're convinced.

He nodded, “and i came here for the award ceremony yesterday, and tomorrow we’re going back to Seoul. this afternoon i thought i’m just gonna stay at he hotel but, i suddenly feel like shop some new clothes.” he explains, “and about the manager or bodyguard, yeah, i supposedly go with them... but, my hotel is very near and i think being in disguise would be enough because you know, bodyguards draw more attention...”

You can understand what he meant, so you nodded.

“But, i met some fans outside the hotel and they recognised me. I ran and i saw this store, i know this store because it’s quite famous, so i get in, hoping the security would stop them, but i was wrong, they were able to follow me in. Then i found the storage, i get in, and stayed there.”

“Until now? i mean, how long you’ve been there??”

“I don’t know...” you saw a pink blush on his cheek, "running exhaust me... i kind of... fell asleep...”

You cursed yourself for find it adorable.

"Can you now put down the plastic weapon?" he asked, but you won't let your guard down, so you moved it down a bit but you still glaring at him. “So...” he said, “are we good now?”

You slowly nodded.

“Can you unlock the door now?” And that got you frozen, and he seems to realised that, “don’t say that...”

“W-well they just renew the security system here, and I,I,” you clear your throat, “I’m still figuring out how to-”

“Are you out of your mind??” he widens his eyes, “if i was really a thief, why would you mindlessly locking yourself with a criminal??”

You feel something strangely bubbling in your heart because he looked genuinely worried behind his high pitched voice, “I... uh...”

He shook his head in disbelief, “you’re unbelievable.”

“Don’t worry, okay, I’ll ask my engineer.” you took your cellphone and trying to call your friend. No answer. You’re looking at the small clock in the corner of your phone screen. 10.53 pm. there’s no way he’s asleep, “wait...” you texted him and waiting. “Should we, uh, call the police?”

“And tell them what?” he asked, “tell them that a celebrity is locked with you here because you think he’s a thief?”

“Maybe...”

“That’s not a good idea... let alone the fact my fans are gonna find out.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“If they knew you’re accusing me for something i didn’t do... i’m sure you’re not gonna like what they’re gonna do to you.” he sighs.

“Okay, okay, I really have no idea why your fans sounds more like an evil step mother, but okay, let’s just wait.” you sat on a chair and open your laptop, “meanwhile, i gotta work.”

he sat on the other table, looking around, “oh shit, is that a CCTV?”

you lift your head, “yeah, never saw one?”

“No, i mean, how you gonna explain this?” he pointed at himself and you.

You freeze like a deer meeting a lion. “Oh my... oh!” you suddenly shouts, “this is a secret but the CCTV in east wing is broken.”

“Broken??” he sounds about to say another ‘unbelievable’.

“Yeah, yeah, i know, but they’re gonna fix it soon.” you said, “let’s see the boon, you’re not caught locked here with me.” you fixed your eyes on the screen again while praying your friend reply the text soon.

But it was almost half an hour and your phone didn’t get any messages.

“Damn it! where is he??” you checked your phone for the third times, you pressed call again and he still didn’t pick it up for you.

“Ah.” you heard Kyungsoo whining and you saw him hold his stomach.

“You okay?”

“I’m just... hungry.”

You hold your laughter, “just take any cakes, whatever.”

He looked around, and rose from his eat to look over the chiller, “scones... can i have one?”

You briefly nodded, “make yourself coffee or any drinks if you want.”

He was making himself busy behind the counter while you continue working, and after another hour you wrapped up one report and about to move to another report when Kyungsoo called you.

“Hey.”

You turned your head.

“I didn’t know your name.” he said.

“Oh,” you said your name and he repeated it for you. Unknowingly you smiled.

“You want to order something ma’am?” he playfully asked you, “it’s kinda rude when you just sit in my coffeeshop, working, without ordering anything.”

And you decided to play along, you rose from your seat and went to the counter, “hmm... Can I have one...” you’re looking at the menu, “caramel macchiato.”

“We... uhm, we don’t have that at the moment.”

You raised your eyebrows, “why?”

“Because...” he clears his throat, “i can’t make that! you should be considerate to this not-so-expert barista.”

“Okay...” you put your finger on your chin, “cappuccino.”

“We... also don’t have that at the moment.”

“What?” you scoffed, “then what do you sell?”

“Iced americano.”

“I can’t drink black coffee.”

“Hmm...” he’s humming, “cafe latte?”

“Can you make that?”

“I just have to pour the milk on top of espresso, right?” he made a whispering gesture, and then he laughs, and his heart shaped lips captured your heart.

You spent the next minutes having conversation with him while he’s making the drinks. He asked you about your work, why you like fashion. You told him about the chaotic whenever there’s an award shows, or fashion shows, when all the stylist fighting for a piece of limited edition goods. And he told you about the situation in an award shows, where most celebrities are either bored or sleepy from long haul but they have to appear super fresh and happy.

“But of course not everyone is like that, some of us are actually excited to see other groups performance,” he said, “it’s rare for us.” he pour the milk after the espresso and ice, and slide it on the table for you to take.

You took it and stir it before sipping it.

“How’s it?” he sat across you on the table.

“I’ve taste worse.” you joked.

He laughs, “you remind me of my member who also can’t drink black coffee.”

“Member?”

“Uh, band mate, we called it member.” he said.

“So, you’re the vocalist? or?”

“No, no, i’m not in the band, it’s a boyband.” he said, “don’t tell me you never heard one.”

“Oh, i know that.” you playfully winked, “i was just joking, because you clearly told me that your band was the biggest boyband now?”

he smirks, “i’m telling you the fact.”

“So tell me about this band mate, i mean, member who can’t drink black coffee.”

“His name is Kai, he’s like a baby, but the babiest is Sehun. he’s the youngest and he really act like one.” he stirs his iced americano.

“So, it’s boyband or a daycare? why there are so many babies?”

Kyungsoo laughs, “smart!” he said while his gaze linger to study your face features.

“Tell me your band again? is it XO?”

He was a bit startled when you turned to him and caught him staring at you. “E-X-O.” he spelled it, then he pull his chair closer to you, “that one,” he pointed a picture and you click it and the bigger picture appear, “That’s Kai in the middle, and that’s Sehun, the tall one on the left side.”

“He’s so handsome.”

“Yup, he’s like the visual of the group.”

“Visual?”

“Face of the group. the most handsome.” he explains.

“What about you?”

“Well, i’m just... the ordinary guy in the group.”

“I don’t believe you.” you search for his name again and his profile appear, “awards for movies and drama?” you read an article called ‘things that makes you in love with D.O.’. “Super talented, voice of a true singer, great dancer, really?”

“No, no, Kai and Sehun is the dancer... i’m just a vocalist.”

“Sing for me!”

Kyungsoo a little startled.

“Come on.”

“I don’t know what to sing.”

“Just whatever.”

“Oh, never gonna let you go... Giving you my heart and soul... I'll be right here with you for life... Oh, baby, all I wanna do... Is spend my every second with you... So look in my eyes... I'll be by your side... Yeah, look in my eyes... I'll be by your side... For life.” his eyes never left you, and you feel warm creeping up your face.

You’re stunned, his voice is so good, the echo in the building seems to compliment him well, and you blame on his soft voice that made you couldn’t stop looking at his lips. “wow... wow...” you’re clapping, you suddenly feel awkward because the guy sitting next to you is now became more and more attractive. “Now dance.”

He laughs at your assertive voice, “seriously?”

You nodded.

“Okay, no.” he sips his drink. then he lift his head, “or, i could just teach you how to dance.”

“Me? no, i’m so stiff.”

“Come on, be fun!” he pointed at your laptop, “go look for our music video and you decide which one you wanna learn.”

You wanted to rejecting him but when you saw Kyungsoo in a music video you accidentally clicked, where he was rolling his body, your lips betrayed your brain, “let’s practice this.”

He peeked on the screen, “The Eve?? no, no, that’d be too... provocative.”

“Chicken out?”

Kyungsoo staring at you, “try search Love Shot.” he said.

You typed the word and watch the video, and you mentally cursing when the member you remembered as the baby who can’t drink black coffee starts dancing, “this should be illegal, no?”

“And yet you were asking for me to dance the Eve.” Kyungsoo playfully rolled his eyes.

“Hey, hey, hey, i think i have the costume!” you stood up excitedly because anything related to fashion excites you. “I’ll wear red suit like the middle dancer.”

“Kai.”

“Yeah, okay, Kai.” you said, “and you’re gonna be you. “Green turtle-neck, black suit...” you’re now busy taking some clothes from here and there while Kyungsoo is watching you.

“You’re very passionate about your work.” he murmured, and not sure if you heard him, but he continued, “I really like to se someone got immersed by their work... and you look pretty that way.”

You had some clothes on your hand, “what did you say?”

“Huh?” he paused, “you... need help?”

“Move your hand like this,” Kyungsoo stand in front of you facing the big mirror at the fitting room aisle, “and 3... 4... move you hips like this, move it using you leg, yup, that’s right.” he’s watching you through the mirror.

“See? i’m very stiff.”

“No you don’t, the clothes hides your moves but you’re actually doing great.”

“Maybe i should take off the shirt i wear, because Kai only wear the suit.” you nonchalantly murmured.

“What?”

You swore you saw a pink blushes on his face, and you want to see them more, so you mindlessly teased him, “What do you think? should i take off this shirt and wear only the suit?”

“Are you crazy? Kai’s a guy, he doesn’t have those...” he looked away.

“I’m wearing bra, for God sake, not gonna go naked in front of you, so relax!” you rolled your eyes.

Suddenly Kyungsoo turned his heel around and face you, “oh, is that so?”

You saw his gaze changed into something more... impassioned. He took just one... two... and a half steps towards you without breaking the gaze.

“You want me to help?” his voice is low, rasping but not hoarse. his hand reach a button of the suit and undo it, then it went to the button of your shirt, undoing it one by one from the upmost, “is this what you want?”

You were hypnotised, or you think you were because all you can do is just staring back at him and hold your breath.

your gaze move to his lips and when he lick his lips to moist it up, you couldn’t help yourself but licking your lips too, and the next thing you knew, you were leaning forward, asking him to kiss you. and he did.

His lips taste like marshmallow, it was soft and and pliant between yours, he caught your upper lips and suck it a little made you shivering, then he kissed you deeper, and leading you to the open mouthed kisses. Then he pulled himself away, and you grimacing the regret.

Regret that the kiss happened.

Or regret that the kiss ended?

You looked up and Kyungsoo is staring at you, then he leans down and meet your lips again, his fingers hooked under your chin just to keep you there. then he tilted his head, trying to get deeper access to your lips. you can’t help your hand from slipping on his hips, clutching it and pull him closer.

You hear a low grunts as he push you towards the wall and kiss you again, this time is more daring, because you sure you feel his tongue for the first time.

“Mhmm...” you moaned, and you feel like you have to return the favour so you nibbled his lower lips and Kyungsoo replied with a low grunt, the mixture of surprise and pleasure.

You and him were making out, and when you know it, all your shirt buttons are undone.

“Sneaky...” you whispers in his ear and you can feel he’s smirking on your neck then pull your hips closer to his, and creating this addictive friction between you and Kyungsoo down there. “Hmm... you’re hard.”

“Want to help me with that?” he whispers on your ear.

You and him knew the next thing happened is the desires take over, the hot kisses, the faint marks left on each others skin, how you impatiently undress him and how he throw the last piece of fabric on your body carelessly, it was all lust speaking.

Now you’re just a moaning mess, but you got the best view in the world, view of Kyungsoo above you, pumping you hard while biting his lips. Then he flips you, “on your four,” he said, he immediately entering you again without waiting and the pleasure of the new position brought heat pooling in your core.

“Oh shit.” you hitched.

“You close?” he asked between a harsh breathing.

“Ah, hm.” you could only replied with another moan, and another one.

He bent down just to squeeze your breasts and caught the nipples between his fingers, “wait a little longer...” he whispers and you saw his gaze right o you eyes through the mirror in front of you and you feel like cumming.

“Then stop being so sexy... or i’ll burst out in any second...” you replied and he chuckled.

“Have you ever seen yourself like this? huh?” is voice is low and husky, “you’re a damn hot mess...” he thrust you harder this time, letting you no space for breathing, just moaning.

“Ride me.” he said and after riding him and let him enjoying the view of your chest bouncing in front of his eyes, his back to the missionaries to end you both.

a long lustful moan heard from both you when you and Kyungsoo reach the peak.

You both lie down the wooden floor in the aisle of the fitting room with your head on his chest, the breathing is slower this time but the pound inside your chest is louder than ever.

“Do you listening my heart beat?” he suddenly asked.

“Uh-hmm...” you mumbled.

He chuckled then kissed the top of your head. “I really like you.”

You lift your head, “what makes you like me?”

“You didn’t treat me like a celebrity... you don’t care if i’m well-known... i like how you’re not worshiping famous people like me.” he said, “i feel like human...”

Something sting your chest, you knew this won’t last. he belongs to the other side of the world where thousands of people loves him. And you’re just... well, you.

“Will you forget what happened here?” you asked.

He took a moment before answering, “i would never able to, even if i want it...”

This was just a one night stand, and you’re no saint for never doing it before Kyungsoo, but this guy is different, not because he’s a celebrity, but the way he speaks, the way he’s staring at you, his little jokes, his heart shaped smile, his laughter... you like them all. And you know you might like him more if only he’s not someone famous.

“Then don’t forget this... and me.” you murmured and you felt his arms hug you tighter, you look up and he’s looking at you, then your lips, and you’re anticipating another kiss when you hear your cellphone ringing.

you grabbed your shirt and wear it before running to where your cellphone is.

“Hello.”

“Hey, sorry, i had a christmas eve party and got a bit drunk... i fell asleep and woke up just now to throw up then i saw your text,” your engineer friend called you, “you okay?”

“Yeah, I accidentally locked myself... uh can you tell me how to open the door?”

“Oh my God, how come??”

“just accidentally, you know... me being clumsy.” you add a small chuckles.

“You being clumsy is rare... but anyway, you want me to come and help you?”

“No, no, please don’t, you’re spending holiday with your girl now... you can just tell me how and i’m good.” you said.

Now here you are, standing near the door with Kyungsoo. Fully dressed and ready to send him out.

“How about the CCTV?” Kyungsoo said because the door is in the middle between west and east wing.

“I’ll erase it later... only this part, they wouldn’t realised.” you said.

Suddenly he cups your cheek and lean down for a kiss, “make sure to erase this or we both gonna get into a trouble.” he smiles between the kisses.

“Can i use this to blackmail you?” you asked.

“Yes, please blackmail me with this video...” he whispers and kiss you for the last time.

“Bye.” You shortly said.

“Hey, i’ll be here again in six months for a concert with EXO...” he shrugged his shoulders, “if you want to come...”

You just briefly nodded, and he turned away, “Kyungsoo...”

He quickly turned around. “Yes?”

“Merry Christmas.”

“Ah right!” he smiles, “thank you for spending Christmas with me.”

You smile, “pleasure’s mine...”

After he’s gone, you finished up your report and went to the control room to erase that one particular CCTV footage. Your fingers move above the computer mouse, cutting the video and watch it one last time, you watched how he put his palm on your cheek and leaned down.

You still feel the kiss on your lips, still feel the warm of his hand on your cheek, and now you feel the pain in your heart.

“I saw you get into your room at 3 last night.” Baekhyun sat beside Kyungsoo on the plane.

“What do you mean, hyung?” Kyungsoo asked.

The older smiles, “I really don’t want to know where were you... i’m just telling you, i saw you get into your room last night at 3 am...”

“And what were you doing in such hour?” Kyungsoo asked back.

“Me, Chen, and Chanyeol had a Christmas eve drink... the other two were wasted, they didn’t remember saw you.”

Kyungsoo didn’t say anything afterwards, just leaning his head further to teh backrest and scrolled down his phone until he found one new video in his phone.

Your video dancing Love Shot in a red suit.

Yes, he filmed you for fun that times, not knowing he’s gonna treasure the video, because it was the only footage he has about you.

six months later.

One of the biggest arena in your city filled with people queueing to get into the stadium, banner and posters about the current event is everywhere: EXO WORLD TOUR.

You got the ticket in your hand but you don’t know if you want to get in or not. watching a concert sounds great to refresh your mind, but can you control yourself if later you saw Kyungsoo on stage and realise how cool and untouchable he is for you? you gotta face another heart break.

But hey, during this six months you’re doing great, you didn’t lose focus on your work, your cool workplace keep being the best of the town, you attended some fashion event and meet another famous people. you’re doing just fine, so you let your feet step confidently inside the arena.

Fourth songs and Kyungsoo can’t keep his eyes from scanning through thousands of people in the stadium, it is hard to see with the spotlights turning towards you, but a man gotta try.

he ran around the big stage, to the small one, run towards the end of the jetty, and when they sing a song which all members has to spread around the stage his eyes met yours and he freezes. he didn’t move until Baekhyun came to him.

“This my place to stand, go to your place!” he pushes Kyungsoo, but he didn’t budge, and then Baekhyun follows his gaze and smirks appear on his face. “oh, i got it...” he went closer to to Kyungsoo, “come to think about it, it was this city where you back at the hotel at 3 am...” then the older left Kyungsoo who still staring at you.

He smiles at you and start singing,

Oh, never gonna let you go... Giving you my heart and soul... I'll be right here with you for life... Oh, baby, all I wanna do... Is spend my every second with you... So look in my eyes... I'll be by your side... Yeah, look in my eyes... I'll be by your side... For life.

-end-

#dohkyungsoo #exo #kyungsoo #kyungsooxyou #fanfic

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twitchesandstitches · 5 years ago

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enough time for one last case

There would never be enough time.

Audrey stirred, functions wearily buzzing into place. First the auditory receptors came on, so he heard things first, in clicks and misheard buzzes so that it felt that the world was maimed, and then slowly repaired itself into his hearing. Than his other senses, each more laborious than the last, and only then did his optics come online.

All this time, he had been in the dark, and it almost hurt as the world became a view to him.

Almost fifteen minutes. From boot up to full functionality, it had taken fifteen minutes.

He groaned as he stood up; he could remember when he had gone from consciousness to full alertness, in nano-seconds.

That had been a long time ago.

With a tired grunt, he swayed one leg into position. His joints refused to move, though he had had the leg serviced but only a few days ago.

The other leg dragged, and broke off at the shin, leaving him with a small peg leg. His pain receptors detected no pain, but it was more worrying that they detected nothing at all.

He glanced down. Past his thigh, below the knee joint, the adaptive modules of his leg pooled together into a cancerous, ugly mess.

He stared at it.

If Audrey listened close, he thought he could feel it catching up with him. Perhaps if he shut off visual, and focused his mind inward, he’d feel the rot of his nanites dying, one by one, faster and faster...

A week. He’d last had his body treated a go, and when it had once taken years for them to wear out, now it took only a week for them to start falling apart.

And, when this rot reached his inner reactor, and his processor, his heart and mind...

He kept staring.

And for some reason, he just felt numb.

-----

“It’s happening faster, kiddo,” he said later, on the screen.

The woman on the screen had a rabbit-like look, and a cybernetic arm in better shape than him, and she wore a worried look. “You haven’t told anyone?”

“Sure. I have. It’s just...” he clicked his fingers together, and fast as they were, he wondered how long it would be before it got too hard to do these little finger tricks. Before dexterity was an effort, and his joints started getting hard and painful. “No one knows how to fix it.”

Audrey did not have a face, as some robots did. His head had various sensors, discreet and too subtle to employ in emoting, so he made do with a screen that displayed emotional face holograms; something for people to connect with. He’d worked so hard to do it, and every bit of social understanding was a hard-won victory. And now, the hologram upon it was totally neutral and calm.

It was a lie, of course. But he didn’t want to worry the girl.

He slouched back. “You know, no one knows where the old AI overlord I came from even is at now? Damn thing skedaddled a long time ago. No one knows how it made me and the others like me, or how to fix the way we just start falling apart. Hah. After I left it, I doubt it would help a malfunctioning drone.”

The girl’s face twisted. She was hard, no doubt about that, but she cared so fiercely, and it hurt, knowing what was coming. For her, for him.

He hated the idea of leaving people behind.

He ran over the estimates of his projected remaining lifespan. He didn’t much care for the days being in double digits.

I have less than half a year left. I’m sorry. I love you, but I’m too broken down to keep trying.

He couldn’t ever say that.

He placed a hand on the screen. He felt relieved it wasn’t moldering, at least. “Don’t worry, kiddo, I don’t got any plans to fall apart on you just yet. You’ll have to deal with this old geezer for some time.”

She glowered at him. “Please, Audrey. For the love of Primus, please, retire. You cannot keep doing this!”

“One more case,” he said. “I volunteered for one more case. How about... we take this last one, alright? We make the world a little nicer, and then I’m done. We work on finding a way to get me a better body, or fix whatever’s tearing me apart?”

She smiled, and he felt glad that of it.

He felt a little bit like a father to her, and one thing he told himself was that parents shouldn’t let their kids now that they weren’t long for the world. Not unless they had to. No parent wanted to see the look in a child’s eyes at that.

At least it was easy to fake a smile when you had a face like his.

#/#//#///#////#/////#my writing #fics #other people's OCs #twitchy!ocs #twitchy!audrey #emphasizing the idea of him as a broken down old man on his last case #and piling up the angst and Sads #queued

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his-tori-an · 6 years ago

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This week I had the opportunity to visit Fishbourne Roman Palace, and was very excited to see how they portray a Roman site to the public and engage their visitors. I went with my grandma, who I remember a few years ago saying to me “I don’t like museums”, although she seems to enjoy them much more now when we go together, especially if there’s something pretty to see and take photos of. We had an amazing experience there and I’ve picked out a few of the things that stood out to me to talk about; the museum area, the walk across the mosaics and the gardens. I will be writing about the “hands on” area in my next article, and following this I’ll be summing up my thoughts about how they have portrayed their site and how -theoretically- we could portray Malton Roman Fort (where my department have been excavating) to visitors if it were to be an attraction and museum in a similar way.

A picture of me standing in front of banners showing different types of artefacts

Content warning: images of and discussion of human skeletons

(And yes, I’m wearing a Pokemon T-shirt in the featured image, I had to stick an awkward photo of me in here somewhere)

My grandma looking at a model of a Roman bathhouse

History of the Site

Fishbourne Palace, located in West Sussex, is the largest surviving Roman building in Britain and dates to about 75AD. Most of the palace was excavated in 1960 by Sir Barry Cunliffe after it was accidentally discovered by a water company laying a new line over the site. The palace is so big that a museum has been built over the site to try and preserve as much of the building in situ as possible.

In size, it is approximately equivalent to Nero’s Golden palace in Rome and in plan it closely mirrors the emperor Domitian’s palace (the Domus Flavia) completed in AD 92 on the Palatine Hill in Rome. Fishbourne is by far the largest Roman residence known north of the Alps. At about 150 square metres, it has a larger footprint than Buckingham Palace.

Museum

The museum is the first part you will see on your visit, it is laid out with information on walls in a numbered sequence which gives a background to the Roman occupation of England and the context of the site. These exhibits are very text heavy, and are balanced by the display of artefacts and images & diagrams.

Panel 1 was about the discovery of the site

Panel 2 explained stratigraphy and the display demonstrated this.

Panel 3 was about the site

Panel 4 explained the Roman invasion with diagrams

As well as these more factual exhibits there are interactive activities such as building a Roman road and identifying gods by matching pictures together on a low table. The scale model of the site in the first room attracted my Grandma, allowing for a more tactile experience than viewing a local map.

A scale model map of the area. On the glass there is a diagram indicating where the modern road is.

There were also a lot of kids when I went who were all fascinated by the example weaving activity, the scale model map and the bust of Vespasian, shouting “That’s what he looks like!!”. It is so important to have such tangible links for people to be able to relate to people in the past and see even emperors as “human”.

A bust of Vespasian

The curators of the exhibition have clearly put a lot of thought into weaving multiple themes into one, for example the “imported elegance” panel, which displays wall plaster from Fishbourne, explaining how the elaborate finishes would have been done by a skilled craftsman probably from Italy, and displaying two images of wall paintings found in Italy which compare to the evidence from Fishbourne.

Panel 24: Imported elegance. The display shows wall plaster from the site, and shows wall paintings from other sites which are similar.

The final parts of an exhibition are just as important as the introduction and can leave a lasting impact on the audience, and at Fishbourne the final space has three panels, “Disaster”, “Burials”, and “The Jigsaw”.

The disaster panel explains how between 270 and 280 AD the palace was destroyed by a fire, and how it cannot be certain if the fire was accidental or deliberate, but notes that pirates were raiding the south coast at that time, a neat way of painting a picture and explaining a narrative whilst not asserting facts we don’t know, a lot of archaeologists I know would say that if we’re not sure on the facts we shouldn’t tell stories, which are vital to public engagement and understanding.

The accompanying display is a show of the destruction, with puddles of melted lead, buckled window glass and broken and discoloured pottery which has been repaired and reconstructed for the exhibit. Personally my eyes are drawn to the reconstructed pots more than the disarticulated glass. On the top shelf by comparison, there are lots and glass from the late third century that survived the fire, it’s a massive shame that my photographs didn’t survive however.

The human remains in the museum lie in a glass case.

The burials section is in association with the human remains that lie in the centre of the room which is captioned with “a pagan burial, oriented on a north-south line and discovered in the demolished ruins of the Roman Palace”, which is on the opposite side of the room to the rest if the information. This is probably due to issues to do with space, but it did confuse me having the information, remains and the explanation all in different places.

The panel explains how the ruin was salvaged after it burnt down and that people would take things of value before further demolishing the building. They say that later, probably towards the end of the Roman period, shallow burials were made in the rubble, and one grave was in the north wing which was much deeper and is still there now.

Human remains in a grave cut into the floor

The ethics of displaying human remains in museums is contentious, and I won’t go into full details here. I think it is a lovely gesture to have left the skeleton in the north wing in its final resting place. The sign accompanying the burial simply says that there was no dating evidence in the form of grave goods, but we know that the graves were cut after the palace was destroyed. I was left feeling a little bit frustrated about the lack of information about the burials, although I’m aware that specific information is missing from our records as archaeologists, even more general information about human remains and osteology would benefit visitors. All in all I felt like this lack of information translated to a lack of “respect” for these people as individuals, and that they were seen as artefacts only.

Panel 34: The jigsaw

(Sorry for the image with me in the background.. I guess we can say I’m a treasure?)

The final panel is a neat conclusion to the exhibit, displaying modern and medieval artefacts which were found in the excavation such as coins and pottery which got there through ploughing, and captions this with the story of how the site was uncovered by workmen in 1960. Finally the last image of the exhibition is comprised of images of trenches, finds, archaeologists and analysis overlaid with a jigsaw which is a beautiful and emotive image. This choice to focus on archaeology and archaeologists as well as Roman history is masterfully played out, integrating the modern process of excavation neatly with the archaeology itself.

Image with a jigsaw overlay of archaeologists working on different aspects of the Fishbourne excavations

The Mosaics

Cupid on a dolphin mosaic

Walking around the bridges to see the mosaic floor was by far my favourite part. It was amazing to see the beautiful mosaics, each one different, laid out as though in the villa. The open layout of the room gave an immense sense of space and a feeling of awe, which is a key part of engagement at any heritage site. It is also almost entirely flat or ramped sections, making the exhibit one continuous experience.

My grandma looking at the mosaics

Practically, each mosaic is separated and labelled in a numbered sequence, meaning that you can walk around the room in a loop following the trail and and back at the start, although the route is not necessarily fixed. Each information board is located where you can see both it and the mosaic at the same time, with a description of the art style or purpose of the room and a reconstructed diagram of the art. Of course, at a basic level it is very important to be able to see both the information & diagrams and the mosaic at the same time to be able to understand and compare the information to reality and encourage learning and critical thought.

A shell mosaic

Something which I only spotted on my second visit was “the digital palace”, an amazing model which lets the user explore a reconstructed villa, clicking to walk into different rooms and looking around in 3d using the mouse. This was on understated computer desk in the middle of the exhibition which the user had to sit down to use, hopefully the museum will be able to find a way to make this technology easier to access for everybody to see and enjoy on a bigger screen!

The computer desk with “the digital palace” on the screen

Computer screen showing a digital model of a roman room, it says “Room N1, Hypocaust Room

Information and instructions about The Digital Palace; a representation of the North Wing made by Anthony Crew.

At the far end of the room there is a viewing platform displaying a slideshow of old and funny images of the archaeological process, and the options of three films called “1960s excavations”, “New Discoveries” and “Mosaic Care”. The use of audio and video technology allows a different way of presenting the archaeology than in the rest of the exhibit which gives the audience a different way to learn that appeals to them most, not to mention being very valuable for visually impaired or hearing impaired visitors. My only concern was that there were no chairs, meaning that visitors must stand to watch the films, which can be difficult or offputting- I also found the soundscapes coming from the viewing platform to be a bit odd.

The Hadley Trust viewing platform showing Barry Cunliffe working on the Medusa mosaic

Garden

The garden didn’t engage me as much but my grandmother loved it; she said she enjoyed the “colourful part with flowers and the pretty green shaped hedges”. It can be difficult for people without an interest in history to engage with museums, but the way the garden was portrayed clearly made an impact on her and she said that she would be happy to revisit based on that. It was designed to look like the grand garden of a Roman villa, with a beautiful scented lavender bed funded by the friends of Fishbourne Roman palace.

View of the gardens; a big grassy space surrounded by hedges laid out in angular patters.

The best part of the garden for me was the themed Roman flower beds. I thought it was an incredibly creative idea, with each flower bed representing a different theme, including medicine, herbs, beauty and all sorts. It smelled and looked incredible and that sensory experience made all the difference to me in enjoying the garden. I’m not sure if my grandma noticed the themes but she loved the flower beds in the same way as I did, noticing the strong scents and bright colours.

A flowerbed with a panel which says “medicinal plants”

Collections Discovery Centre

This building is separate to the museum, opened by Tony Robinson on Time Team in 2007, allows visitors to see artefacts in a more peaceful and very well lit modern area separate to the main museum. There are interactive drawers where visitors can open them to see collections of pottery, glass, bone and more and curated displays behind windows. Visitors are able to look through the window displays and see the store room and scientific research room, adding a new depth to the museum which isn’t just about the Roman history but also the archaeological process and storage of artefacts, which Fishbourne highlights very well.

A window into the conservation laboratory

Artefacts in drawers which visitors can open.

A window into the conservation laboratory

The Sensitive Store is behind a window display, which displays a variety of artefacts

All in all our visit to Fishbourne was very enjoyable, and I was inspired by the way in which they portrayed Roman history and culture to a modern audience. I’ll be posting soon about their “hands on” area, which was an incredible way of engaging all ages and types of audience in hands on activities related to archaeologists and archaeology. Following that I’ll be using this research to construct a theoretical plan of how we could portray Malton as a site if we were to have a visitor centre or museum, so stay in touch and make sure you subscribe to email notifications!

Let me know what you think in the comments or tweet me @EdgyTrowel!

This article was written by myself with help from Chloe Rushworth, you can check out her heritage blog and posts about the Malton dig here: https://archloology.wordpress.com/. Photos by myself and my Grandmother.

I visited Fishbourne Roman Palace: Here's my review on how they engage their audience... This week I had the opportunity to visit Fishbourne Roman Palace, and was very excited to see how they portray a Roman site to the public and engage their visitors.

#archaeology #children #featured #marketing #museum #Museums #student #tourism #travel #University

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blogjoannaphilly-blog · 6 years ago

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4.10.19

“I hurt myself today,

To see if I still feel…

Full of broken thoughts,

I cannot repair…

I will let you down,

I will make you hurt…”

The lyrics above are from the song ‘Hurt’ which was released in 1994, by the rock band Nine Inch Nails. About nine years later Johnny Cash did a cover of that exact song and it was released in 2002. Cash claimed that the Nine Inch Nails song is the best anti-drug song he has ever heard. Cash and the lead singer of Nine Inch Nails, Reznor, both struggled with addiction. The music culture, including country and rock, glorify the use of drugs and other substances. The lyrics in the song show the darkness that surrounds addiction and substance abuse, as well as the hurt. A close look at the two artists and their versions of the song ‘Hurt’ reflect the differences between their styles, music videos, and meanings.

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Reznor’s version starts slow and eerie. The listener hears static and then Reznor begins softly singing the first verse. The picking of the guitar echos and the static starts to grow louder. As the song enters the chorus, the tempo picks up. The strumming of guitars, the beating of the drums, and the distorted noise that follows Reznor’s voice provoke nausea, especially as the song reaches the end. Reznor’s music video truly captures how the song makes the listener feel physically, through the visuals he provides in the music video. The audience sees Reznor hunched over his microphone, drenched in sweat, as he gives it his all. Behind him is a massive screen playing various clips of nature, war, and death. It starts out with a sped-up clip of a decaying fox returning back to its lively state. Next, an explosion; soldiers face as he sees his fellow brother’s lifeless bodies. The audience then sees a snake looking directly at them. The clip begins to speed up again, it shows a chameleon being eaten by a venus fly trap and the fox from the beginning of the video returning back to its decayed state. The music video provides metaphors and symbolism which helps the listeners piece together Reznor’s purpose and meaning behind the song ‘Hurt’. His song is meant to be a cautionary tale of consequences and regret. He said the song is about a man who is desperate, lost in a world of drugs, who is stuck reliving his hurts with an addiction. “I was using the metaphor of drugs at the forefront of what was going on.” (Reznor) He was not an addict at the time of writing ‘Hurt’ but later struggled with addiction. During the 80′s and 90′s cocaine use was at an all-time high, and that was about the time Reznor began using.

youtube

Cash’s version of ‘Hurt’ is very different from the original. Unlike the instruments and noise distortion that was used in the Nine Inch Nails version, Cash uses only his acoustic guitar. Throughout the entire song, he only transitioned between five different chords. Although Cash’s version was much simpler, he was still able to give the same rawness and emotion as Reznor had done in his song. The lines “If I could start again, a million miles away, I would keep myself, I would find a way…” were demonstrated in Cash’s music video. The opening of the music video is Cash sitting down in all black attire at his home he had lived in for the past thirty years. While he sings to the strumming of his guitar, the viewers see 71-year old Cash with no makeup or any kind of cover-up to hide his current state of health. The director for this music video then shoots outside to an American flag that stands outside of Cash’s home, also known as the House of Cash, Museum. The camera then goes back inside, where Cash’s hands are placed on a closed piano, he then opens it and begins to play as if it were his last song. The music video begins to jump back and forth from the past to the present day. Then, a photo of his deceased mother is focused on as he sings the lines “everyone I know, goes away in the end…” Towards the end of the music video you see Cash sitting by himself at a large dining room table that is covered with delicious food, and he sings the lines “and you can have it all, my empire of dirt…” It then shoots over to Cash in the living room again, his wife June is watching over him from the staircase, her eyes full of love, pride, and concern for her husband. The music video begins to speed up, the viewers see glimpses of Cash’s past, and then Christ being crucified, white doves taking off for flight, and a body of water. The song ends with Cash shutting the piano for good. Johnny Cash covered this song to show the truth behind addiction and the hurt it causes on the user as well as others in their life. The director, Mark Romanek, try to capture the essence of Cash, contrasting the cocky younger singer with the increasingly frail 71-year-old man that he had become. The House of Cash had been damaged in a flood, and Romanek felt the museum was an honest and powerful reflection of Cash’s past life. His wife June passed away four months later, and Cash died shortly after.

Although the style and music videos were very different from each other, the meaning that both artists intended for the song is clear. They both struggled with addiction and the hurt that came with it. The music world glorifies drug and substance abuse without showing the reality of it. The song ‘Hurt’ gave Reznor and Cash the opportunity to share their stories. They pulled back the curtain so that people can see the truth, and not the fantasy that the music world had created around it.

If you or anyone you know struggles with addiction this helpline is available 24/7 and can provide information regarding treatment and recovery. http://drughelpline.org/

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shelovesrainn · 4 years ago

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Lost Scrivener

Perhaps, happiness is on your way. Perhaps, for you, every day means a new venture for hope, love, prosperity, and felicity. But not for me, because for me, witnessing how the sun rises from the east with its brilliant light complementing with the blue sky means darkness, a nightmare that keeps haunting, another set of torture, pain, and sorrow−a torment. Each morning, as I open my eyes, I used to pray with my knees bended, my eyes closed, and my heart fast beating. My plea may not be the typical one for a 20-year-old; my prayer revolves around I, hoping for meeting someone who can pull me out of this chaos or I, pleading for this ineffable pain arousing inside me to vanish. None of these was heard, though. So, I got exhausted asking for those pieces of crap daily and started embodying and accepting the fact that perhaps, I was created to crave for that so-called happiness; perhaps, I was given life to be miserable.

The bus stopped at a familiar spot which is way too ironic to say, because my feet never stepped in this place before. Maybe what makes it familiar thou, is the vivid picture of it that I’ve been dreaming of every single night. And the moment I wake up, my body would shiver as the deafening beats of my heart prevailed over the loud noises from a bunch of city vehicles, like of a teenager’s seeing her childhood crush. Since then, I unconsciously desired to reach that place someday. I worked every day excluding Sundays and saved most of the fee they’re giving me for that. If you will ask me, for what reason, I weren’t able to provide you an answer because to be honest, I don’t either know. I saw a reflection of a pale maiden looking at me intently. Her hair is short, her face is cute, her lips are bitsy and only her pink tip tint gives color in it, her pair of eyes are small like of the Chinese and as dark as the sky at night, her long eyelashes are curvy, and the moles on her face are what you’ll never fail to notice. However, she has several marks of pimples all over her face and some huge dark circles around her eyes−evidences of hundreds of sleepless nights and tiring sobs. She isn’t novelty, she is just an ordinary, she is me.

I got back on my senses when the bus conductor yelled telling that we already reached our destination. The people went out of the vehicle carrying their baggage with them. I assume that they’re having their vacation, but it’ll sound ridiculous because it’s already July which is supposed to be time for labor. I carried my bags and went off the bus. My body welcomed the fieriness that the breeze of air is offering early in the morning. The blasting sounds of the water hitting the immense rocks of the ocean is like a lullaby from a loving mother that an infant is longing to hear for decades. The salty scent of the sea creatures tingles my nose. I smiled, for I know I am here. At last, I am finally here. I navigate towards the bluish piece of solace as the delineate visual of it in my visions simultaneously flashes in my mind. I realized that the paradise I’m staring at the present is more flabbergasting than of in my dreams. I sat on the pure white sand of the brine, relishing my own company. I wonder how and when do this desire of mine started. When I closed my eyes, the answer rapidly popped.

It was one Sunday morning when a blaring voice of a woman awakened me. Her voice was full of worries. It was easy for me to distinguish that it was my mother’s because I knew how she sounded very well. “Where did he come from? Is he alright?” my grandmother asked from the first floor.

“I…I have no idea. Hand me a bowl of cold water, please!” she retorted almost sounded like crying. I stayed silent in bed for a while for I cannot understand what was going on. However, anticipations are all over my head. I felt my chest heavies but still, I managed to be at ease and shake the bad ideas I’m having away. I heard my father crying and repeatedly uttering, “I’m sorry. I should have died instead.” Based from his voice, I knew he was badly wrecked.

Nica, my older sister came and sat beside me, she said, “The car was severely damaged.” There is a hint of grief on her tone, yet she is covering it with her most fabricated smile. I went down to check my father and the car. Gladly, it wasn’t that critical. My father got few wounds on the head, and several bruises on his arms and legs. However, that morning, marked my very first heartbreak. It was because, that day, I found out with my own eyes, the affair of my beloved father with an unknown lady.

The family where I belong to seems to be an epitome of perfection for many. We barely brag each other onto serious arguments, we set barricades to each member of the family lower than of the others, and we are used to be happy and genuine. But even the firmest post has to give up. I accepted the fact that there is no longer a way to repair and reconstruct this broken pillar. Maybe it can be rejuvenated but the stability can never be brought back.

“Hey, cutie! Can I sit beside you?” A stranger suddenly appeared from nowhere. He noticed my frowning face, so he continued to speak, "Hi, I am Danni. And you are?" I should have ignored this guy, but my inner self is saying he isn't bad. So, there's no way running away from him.

"Veronica." He smiled. His reaction is telling me that he already knows who I am, but I shook that thought away because I might probably be hallucinating.

"It's nice to finally be with you again, Veronica. It's been 10 years and nothing much has changed." He said.

That was my first time meeting him. Well, technically, it was not because I discovered that Danni and I are classmates during our primary school days. He was once a mama's boy who always got towel at her back and baby powder on the face and neck. He was the blithesome child sitting beside me for three consecutive years, I think. We used to be that close before not until we moved into another place.

"You left without proper farewell. I searched for you every day, but I didn't see any hints of you. Every day without you is darkness. For the long 10 years that we were apart, I'm hoping for your return. I felt hopeless to see you again. Now, that you're finally here by my side, I cannot afford to lose you one more time. I don't want to miss you again." His eyes were full of sincerity that afternoon when he was uttering those words. I am not aware of his feelings toward me, so I was a bit surprised with his confession. I don't know what to say or how to react. I stayed unspoken. I stared at his eyes, they are as brown as my favorite caramel coffee during rainy seasons. Those were once what I adored about him because aside from reminding me my favorite beverage, they mirror his soul. However, those eyes were what I abhorred the most as well. Those eyes became my greatest foe. It began when the sincerity of it vanished; lies underlies those eyes.

Our first year were pretty blissful. Though far from each other, we never failed to express our affection. We ensured to find time for us. Nevertheless, happiness seems to be ephemeral; misapprehension aroused. I felt like I was being taken for granted. I left; he chased me. I was too heartless, but I only did that because I foresee how our ending will be. Perchance, this is where I am credible at−overthinking then, creating my own ending.

Unconsciously, I headed toward my consolation. My body trembled as the glacial salty water slowly soaks me. I sluggishly shut my eyes, feeling the placidity that this paradise is giving. Perhaps, I have the same fate as of my mother's. Perhaps, I am not meant to meet the valiant one who has the audacity to save me out of this abyss. Perhaps, happiness is too much to ask. Perhaps, for me, happiness is unattainable. Perhaps, this is what I've been yearning for, all this time.

"I'm sorry, Veronica. I know I made something bad. I hurt you. I'm crying every night because of what I've done. I'm crying because I don't know if you still love me. What I only knew is that I'm going to lose you again. I don't want that to happen. Please tell me you still do love me. Please, stay with me. I'm still here, waiting for you. I love you." That was the last words I heard from him, the same exact words my father articulated to my awful mother. I promised to myself that that was the last time I'm ever getting a glimpse back of our story. This will be the last time I'll be remembering how the sun rises from the east amd how its light gorgeously complements the blue sky because now, together with the sun setting to the west, I am closing the book. Up until the end, I have written my own finale. This is my ending.

#prose poetry #original prose #Spotify

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glittership · 8 years ago

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Episode #36 — "How to Remember to Forget to Remember the Old War" by R.B. Lemberg

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How to Remember to Forget to Remember the Old War

by R.B. Lemberg

for Bogi Takács

At the budget committee meeting this morning, the pen in my hand turns into the remote control of a subsonic detonator. It is familiar—heavy, smooth, the metal warm to the touch. The pain of recognition cruises through my fingers and up my arm, engorges my veins with unbearable sweetness. The detonator is gunmetal gray. My finger twitches, poised on the button.

I shake my head, and it is gone. Only it is still here, the taste of blood in my mouth, and underneath it, unnamed acidic bitterness. Around the conference table, the faces of faculty and staff darken in my vision. I see them—aging hippies polished by their long academic careers into a reluctant kind of respectability; accountants neat in bargain-bin clothes for office professionals; the dean, overdressed but defiant in his suit and dark blue tie with a class pin. They’ve traveled, I am sure, and some had protested on the streets back in the day and thought themselves radicals, but there’s none here who would not recoil in horror if I confessed my visions.

[Full transcript after the cut]

Hello! Welcome to GlitterShip episode 36 for April 13, 2017. This is your host, Keffy, and I’m super excited to be sharing this story for you. Today we have a return of R.B. Lemberg, whose story “Stalemate” was published in episode 7. This is the last story for the Winter 2017 issue, and Spring 2017 is right around the corner! We also have a guest reader, Rose Fox, for this episode.

R.B. Lemberg is a queer, bigender immigrant from Eastern Europe and Israel. R.B.’s work has appeared in Lightspeed’s Queers Destroy Science Fiction, Strange Horizons, Beneath Ceaseless Skies, Unlikely Story, Uncanny, and other venues. Their Birdverse novelette “Grandmother-nai-Leylit’s Cloth of Winds” has been nominated for the Nebula Award, and longlisted for the Hugo Award and the Tiptree Award. R.B.’s debut poetry collection, Marginalia to Stone Bird, is available from Aqueduct Press (2016). R.B. can be found on Twitter as @RB_Lemberg, on Patreon at http://patreon.com/rblemberg, and on http://roselemberg.net.

Rose Fox is a senior reviews editor at Publishers Weekly and the co-editor (with Daniel José Older) of Long Hidden: Speculative Fiction from the Margins of History. They also write Story Hospital, a compassionate, practical weekly advice column about writing, and run occasional workshops for blocked and struggling writers. In their copious free time, they write fanfic and queer romance novels. They live in Brooklyn with two partners, three cats, the world’s most adorable baby, and a great many books.

How to Remember to Forget to Remember the Old War

by R.B. Lemberg

for Bogi Takács

I do not twitch. I want to run away from the uncomplicated, slightly puffy expressions of those people who’d never faced the battlefield, never felt the ground shake, never screamed tumbling facedown into the dirt. But I have more self-control than to flee. When it comes my time to report, I am steady. I concentrate on the numbers. The numbers have never betrayed me.

At five PM sharp I am out of the office. The airy old space is supposed to delight, with its tall cased windows and the afternoon sun streaming through the redwoods, but there’s nothing here I want to see. I walk briskly to the Downtown Berkeley BART station, and catch a train to the city. The train rattles underground, all stale air and musty seats. The people studiously look aside, giving each other the safety of not-noticing, bubbles of imaginary emptiness in the crowd. The mild heat of bodies and the artificially illuminated darkness of the tunnel take the edge off.

When I disembark at Montgomery, the sky is already beginning to darken, the edges of pink and orange drawn in by the night. I could have gotten off at Embarcadero, but every time I decide against it—the walk down Market Street towards the ocean gives me a formality of approach which I crave without understanding why. My good gray jacket protects against the chill coming up from the water. The people on the street—the executives and the baristas, the shoppers and the bankers—all stare past me with unseeing eyes.

They shipped us here, I remember. Damaged goods, just like other states shipped their mentally ill to Berkeley on Greyhound buses: a one-way ticket to nowhere, to a place that is said to be restful and warm in the shadow of the buildings, under the bridges, camouflaged from this life by smells of pot and piss. I am luckier than most. Numbers come easy to me, and I look grave and presentable in my heavy jackets that are not armor. Their long sleeves hide the self-inflicted scars.

I remember little. Slivers. But I still bind my chest and use the pronoun they, and I wear a tight metal bracelet on my left arm. It makes me feel secure, if not safe. It’s only a ploy, this bracelet I have found, a fool’s game at hope. The band is base metal, but without any markings, lights, or familiar pinpricks of the signal. Nothing flows. No way for Tedtemár to call, if ever Tedtemár could come here.

Northern California is where they ship the damaged ones, yes, even interstellars.

Nights are hard. I go out to the back yard, barren from my attempts at do-it-yourself landscaping. Only the redwood tree remains, and at the very edge, a stray rose bush that blooms each spring in spite of my efforts. I smoke because I need it, to invoke and hold at bay the only full memory left to me: the battlefield, earth ravished by heaving and metal, the screech and whoosh of detonations overhead. In front of me I see the short, broad figure of my commanding officer. Tedtemár turns around. In dreams their visor is lifted, and I see their face laughing with the sounds of explosions around us. Tedtemár’s arms are weapons, white and broad and spewing fire. I cannot hear anything for the wailing, but in dreams, Tedtemár’s lips form my name as the ground heaves.

I have broken every wall in my house, put my fist through the thinness of them as if they’re nothing. I could have lived closer to work, but in this El Cerrito neighborhood nobody asks any questions, and the backyard is mine to ravage. I break the walls, then half-heartedly repair them over weekends only to break them again. At work I am composed and civil and do not break anything, though it is a struggle. The beautiful old plaster of the office walls goes gritty gray like barracks, and the overhead lights turn into alarms. Under the table I interlace my fingers into bird’s wings, my unit’s recognition sign, as my eyes focus resolutely on spreadsheets. At home I repair the useless walls and apply popcorn texture, then paint the whole thing bog gray in a shade I mix myself. It is too ugly even for my mood, even though I’ve been told that gray is all the rage with interior designers these days.

I put my fist through the first wall before the paint dries.

Today, there is music on Embarcadero. People in black and colorful clothing whirl around, some skillfully, some with a good-natured clumsiness. Others are there simply to watch. It’s some kind of a celebration, but I have nothing to celebrate and nothing to hope for, except for the music to shriek like a siren. I buy a plate of deep-fried cheese balls and swallow them, taste buds disbelieving the input, eyes disbelieving the revelry even though I know the names of the emotions expressed here. Joy. Pleasure. Anticipation. At the edge of the piers, men cast small nets for crabs to sell to sushi bars, and in the nearby restaurants diners sip wine and shiver surreptitiously with the chill. I went out to dates with women and men and with genderfluid folks, but they have all avoided me after a single meeting. They are afraid to say it to my face, but I can see. Too gloomy. Too intense. Too quiet. Won’t smile or laugh.

There is a person I notice among the revelers. I see them from the back—stooped, aloof. Like me. I don’t know what makes me single them out of the crowd, the shape of the shoulders perhaps. The stranger does not dance, does not move; just stands there. I begin to approach, then veer abruptly away. No sense in bothering a stranger with—with what exactly? Memories?

I cannot remember anything useful.

I wish they’d done a clean job, taken all my memories away so I could start fresh. I wish they’d taken nothing, left my head to rot. I wish they’d shot me. Wish I’d shoot myself, and have no idea why I don’t, what compels me to continue in the conference rooms and in the overly pleasant office and in my now fashionably gray house. Joy or pleasure are words I cannot visualize. But I do want—something. Something.

Wanting itself at least was not taken from me, and numbers still keep me safe. Lucky bastard.

I see the stranger again at night, standing in the corner of my backyard where the redwood used to be. The person has no face, just an empty black oval filled with explosives. Their white artificial arms form an alphabet of deafening fire around my head.

The next day I see them in the shape of the trees outside my office window, feel their movement in the bubbling of Strawberry Creek when I take an unusual lunch walk. I want, I want, I want, I want. The wanting is a gray bog beast that swallows me awake into the world devoid of noise. The suffocating safe coziness of my present environment rattles me, the planes and angles of the day too soft for comfort. I press the metal of my bracelet, but it is not enough. I cut my arms with a knife and hide the scars old and new under sleeves. I break the walls again and repaint them with leftover bog gray, which I dilute with an even uglier army green.

Over and over again I take the BART to Embarcadero, but the person I seek is not there, not there when it’s nearly empty and when it’s full of stalls for the arts and crafts fair. The person I seek might never have existed, an interplay of shadows over plastered walls. A co-worker calls to introduce me to someone; I cut her off, sick of myself and my well-wishers, always taunting me in my mind. In an hour I repent and reconsider, and later spend an evening of coffee and music with someone kind who speaks fast and does not seem to mind my gloom. Under the table, my fingers lace into bird’s wings.

I remember next to nothing, but I know this: I do not want to go back to the old war. I just want—want—

I see the person again at Montgomery, in a long corridor leading from the train to the surface. I recognize the stooped shoulders and run forward, but the cry falls dead on my lips.

It is not Tedtemár. Their face, downturned and worn, betrays no shiver of laughter. They smell unwashed and stale and their arms do not end in metal. The person does not move or react, like the others perhaps-of-ours I’ve seen here over the years, and their lips move, saying nothing. I remember the date from the other day, cheery in the face of my silence. But I know I have nothing to lose. So I cough and I ask.

They say nothing.

I turn away to leave, when out of the corner of my eyes I see their fingers interlock to form the wings of a bird.

Imprudent and invasive for this world, I lay my hand on their shoulder and lead them back underground. I buy them a BART ticket, watch over them as even the resolutely anonymous riders edge away from the smell. I take them to my home in El Cerrito, where broken walls need repair, and where a chipped cup of tea is made to the soundtrack of sirens heard only in my head. The person holds the cup between clenched fists and sips, eyes closed. I cannot dissuade them when they stand in the corner to sleep, silent and unmoving like an empty battle suit.

At night I dream of Tedtemár crying. Rockets fall out of their eyes to splash against my hands and burst there into seeds. I do not understand. I wake to the stranger huddled to sleep in a corner. Stray moonrays whiten their arms to metal.

In the morning I beg my guest to take sustenance, or a bath, but they do not react. I leave them there for work, where the light again makes mockery of everything. Around my wrist the fake bracelet comes to life, blinking, blinking, blinking in a code I cannot decipher, calling to me in a voice that could not quite be Tedtemár’s. It is only a trick of the light.

At home I am again improper. The stranger does not protest or recoil when I peel their dirty clothes away, lead them into the bath. They are listless, moving their limbs along with my motions. The sudsy water covers everything—that which I could safely look at and that which I shouldn’t have seen. I will not switch the pronouns. When names and memories go, these bits of language, translated inadequately into the local vernacular, remain to us. They are slivers, always jagged slivers of us, where lives we lived used to be.

I remember Tedtemár’s hands, dragging me away. The wail of a falling rocket. Their arms around my torso, pressing me back into myself.

I wash my guest’s back. They have a mark above their left shoulder, as if from a once-embedded device. I do not recognize it as my unit’s custom, or as anything.

I wanted so much—I wanted—but all that wanting will not bring the memories back, will not return my life. I do not want it to return, that life that always stings and smarts and smolders at the edge of my consciousness, not enough to hold on to, more than enough to hurt—but there’s an emptiness in me where people have been once, even the ones I don’t remember. Was this stranger a friend? Their arms feel stiff to my touch. For all their fingers interlaced into wings at Montgomery station, since then I had only seen them hold their hands in fists.

Perhaps I’d only imagined the wings.

I wail on my way to work, silent with mouth pressed closed so nobody will notice. In the office I wail, open-mouthed and silent, against the moving shades of redwoods in the window.

For once I don’t want takeaway or minute-meals. I brew strong black tea, and cook stewed red lentils over rice in a newly purchased pot. I repair the broken walls and watch Tedtemár-who-is-not-quite-Tedtemár as they lean against the doorway, eyes vacant. I take them to sleep in my bed, then perch on the very edge of it, wary and waiting. At night they cry out once, their voice undulating with the sirens in my mind. Hope awakens in me with that sound, but then my guest falls silent again.

An older neighbor comes by in the morning and chats at my guest, not caring that they do not answer—like the date whose name I have forgotten. I don’t know if I’d recognize Tedtemár if I met them here. My guest could be anyone, from my unit or another, or a veteran of an entirely different war shipped to Northern California by people I can’t know, because they always ship us here, from everywhere, and do not tell us why.

Work’s lost all taste and color, what of it there ever was. Even numbers feel numb and bland under my tongue. I make mistakes in my spreadsheets and am reprimanded.

At night I perch again in bed beside my guest. I hope for a scream, for anything; fall asleep in the silent darkness, crouched uncomfortably with one leg dangling off to the floor.

I wake up with their fist against my arm. Rigid fingers press and withdraw to the frequency of an old alarm code that hovers on the edge of my remembrance. In darkness I can feel their eyes on me, but am afraid to speak, afraid to move. In less than a minute, when the pressing motion ceases and I no longer feel their gaze, I cannot tell if this has been a dream.

I have taken two vacation days at work. I need the rest, but dread returning home, dread it in all the different ways from before. I have not broken a wall since I brought my guest home.

Once back, I do not find them in any of their usual spots. I think to look out of the kitchen window at last. I see my stranger, Tedtemár, or the person who could be Tedtemár—someone unknown to me, from a different unit, a different culture, a different war. My commanding officer. They are in the back yard, on their knees. There’s a basket by their side, brought perhaps by the neighbor.

For many long minutes I watch them plant crocuses into the ravaged earth of my yard. They are digging with their fists. Their arms, tight and rigid as always, seem to caress this ground into which we’ve been discarded, cast aside when we became too damaged to be needed in the old war. Explosives streak past my eyelids and sink, swallowed by the clumps of the soil around their fists.

I do not know this person. I do not know myself.

This moment is all I can have.

I open the kitchen door, my fingers unwieldy, and step out to join Tedtemár.

END

“How to Remember to Forget to Remember the Old War” was originally published in Lightspeed’s Queers Destroy Science Fiction issue in June 2015.

This recording is a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives license which means you can share it with anyone you’d like, but please don’t change or sell it. Our theme is “Aurora Borealis” by Bird Creek, available through the Google Audio Library.

You can support GlitterShip by checking out our Patreon at patreon.com/keffy, subscribing to our feed, or by leaving reviews on iTunes.

Thanks for listening, and I’ll be back on April 18th with a GlitterShip original and our Spring 2017 issue!

Episode #36 — “How to Remember to Forget to Remember the Old War” by R.B. Lemberg was originally published on GlitterShip

#GlitterShip #lgbtq fiction #queer fiction #short stories #science fiction and fantasy #podcast

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sadiceking · 5 years ago

Text

Human Trauma

Elda’s four pointed tips at the end of his segmented legs clicked softly, it was difficult to be quiet when your exoskeleton was hard against a metal floor. Human John sat at the mess room table with his back to the slowly approaching creature. The human John had not been the same since returning from the last planetside excursion. Elda had seen human john in combat before, exemplary, but human john had been a human soldier prior to life on this ship so it was not surprising. However, human john had never been like this before, why should this planetside mission have been different? There had been some combat, what human John had called an “ambush,” but everyone survived. Maybe his friend just needed something funny to happen, so Elda took it upon himself to “prank” his friend. Human John loved pranks and had taught Elda some of them, maybe this would fix his mood.

Elda slowed even more, his “feet” no longer making any sound as they were lowered carefully onto the floor. Human John sat completely still, a caffeine mug in his one hand and the other resting on his lap. The mug gave off no residual heat, which seemed odd until Elda realized it was most likely just empty. Elda was close behind human John now, he raised himself up to his full height with what could be called a smile on his face. A good scare always brought a round of laughter afterword, this would help his friend he was sure. As he opened his mouth a familiar human voice yelled from across the mess room, “Elda no! Stop!” Elda already started to let the loud roar come out though, and couldn’t stop to wonder why there was so much panic in Human Sam’s tone.

Human John turned quickly. He did not look at Elda, but in a curious why he seemed to look through Elda, as if he were looking at something far away, or maybe he was deep in thought as humans sometimes were. Maybe he needed to be brought back to what was happening in the present. Then Elda felt a great deal of confusion and empathetic pain from his chemical receptors as they focused on human John and his excretions. Human Johns scent was a chaotic bouquet of fear, hate, confusion, and other emotions, and those feelings assailed Elda and overwhelmed his senses. At which point Human John’s real onslaught began. The caffeine mug whipped around and crashed against Elda’s face, cold caffeine drink spilling over Elda’s shell. Elda’s visual organs instinctively shielded themselves, his mind perfectly remembering every detail of the room around him as he could no longer see. Human John’s eyes had been red and veiny, tears welled at the edges, but his mouth was frozen in a feral snarl as though he were about to bite at Elda. Human John’s clothes were unkempt and he looked dirty and unwell. Something was very wrong with Elda’s friend.

A muted concussion slammed against abdomen plate, then a second, and a third followed. Elda’s top arms snapped shut where he thought Human John’s head was, crying out that he was attempting to kill his friend who was trying to kill him. He met only air, though, and tried again and again in quick succession, lowering his arms each time hunting for Human John to stop the attack. A fourth and fifth concussive blow cracked Elda’s shell and an echoing pain resounded through his soft tissues underneath his armor. He opened the carapace guarding his visual organs out of sheer will, just in time to see Human John, still snarling and crying, crouched and pulling a knife from his boot, eyes focused on the broken part of Elda’s defensive skin.

“John stop!” Human Sam flew over the table and slammed into him with all her momentum. “Elda just run!” She managed to yell as she wrestled with Human John. As Elda scurried away in a hurry, he heard her words from behind him. “John it’s me! It’s Sam! You’re ok, we’re back on the ship! Look at me-“ Elda was too far away already to hear anymore.

————————-

John had been confined to quarters for two weeks, and Sam was doing her best to make sure he wasn’t tried as a criminal before the ships court. She finally brokered a meeting between herself, Elda (whom she insisted be present), the ship captain, and the head of security (who claimed his own right to be there in best protection of the ship). Elda was molted, embarrassed, and confused. He shifted in all directions, keeping his muscles moving to attempt to maintain whatever heat production he could without his insulated shell. The securities captain oscillated back and forth in what Sam knew was pent up frustration, the ship’s captain sat completely still between them. Sam looked at Elda and emphatically began what she knew would be a long and intense meeting. “Elda, even if these two hadn’t agreed to this meeting, I would have sought a personal communication with you, in order for me to explain to you, the victim, at the very least what happened.”

“There is nothing to explain!” the securities captain let out some of what Sam knew was an overwhelming anger.

“I requested this briefing and was allowed it, so clearly I think there is. Now there is a lot to explain, please keep any interruptions or questions for the end and I will speak on what I can.” The securities captain stilled and Sam continued. “Elda, john is overcome with sorrow and wishes me to pass his sincerest apologies-“ the securities captain stood suddenly.

“Then why did he attack and attempt to kill-“ he yelled, pointing a sharpened claw accusingly at Sam.

“Shut your mouth!” she slammed a hand on the table. After John’s show of force even her slight outburst pressed fear into those at the table. Elda jumped back, the securities captain bared all four arm-limbs, and the ship’s captain stood. “I’m sorry for that.” She gathered herself again. “John gave me permission to tell you the entirety of what happened and why, something that was not easy for him to do. With this trust he gave to me I will advocate as fiercely as I need to in order for you to understand what he is going through. Please, allow me to tell the story without interrupting and hopefully, by the end, you will be able to understand. John was and is afflicted and couldn’t control himself.”

The three chittered to themselves for a moment, concerned over this revelation. Had Human john gone mad? Would he attack more people if he were not stopped? Had something taken over his body, making him literally unable to control himself? Do humans go feral? They didn’t know how to react and their fearful conversation in their native language built into a crescendo until Sam cut through their cross-talk.

“Before he was a traveler John was a soldier. I’m sure you know that and I’m sure it’s one of the reasons you accepted his request to join us here. What you may not know, though, is that he was a part of a war we humans had against a species that attempted to colonize one of our planets. He was on that hostile planet for 18 of our earth months, which is just shy of two intergalactic years. I know many space fairing species think we, humans, that is, are the perfect soldiers and are built for battle and everything but there’s something most of those species don’t know about us. Even though we are good at it, being soldiers hurts us. Especially if we do it for a long time or in specifically intense situations.

“That planet that john was on? He was not supposed to have been there as long as he was. His people, his fellow soldiers and a few of the native civilians, got cut off from the main rescue force by the enemy and became trapped for a long time. They fought, killed, and died in horrible ways for 6 months. When they were finally rescued there was only a fraction of the original group of people, john was in charge and had more than once made a decision that cost lives. After that, he turned in his tags and walked away. He joined with us a few years later. When we went down to that last planet however many weeks ago that was, something happened. Elda I’m sure you can tell the captain what it was more specifically, but the short version is there was an attack that was unexpected. When that happened Johns brain was reminded of his time on that horrid planet and it opened his old wound.

“See when humans make memories like John did in those 18 months, they’re not normal memories, it’s more than that, something worse, and when reminded of those memories some very bad things can happen. It’s like when your shell gets damaged and there’s a piece that isn’t seated properly anymore. It’s irritating and painful. At that point, however, you would just remove the piece or the shell and repair it. When it is a wound in a humans mind, we cannot get rid of it. The pain is there forever.

“When you saw him, Elda, that morning in the mess hall, he hadn’t slept more than an hour a night for days. He was having something we call flashbacks, which is when a human brain doesn’t know it’s not at the place the memory happened. He thought he was back in those jungles, trapped in mines and hills waiting to be torn apart by monsters. When he turned and saw you his brain told him you were there to kill him, and he fought as he fought then, with everything he had. It wasn’t the friend Human John you knew that morning, it was the soldier who thought he was fighting a war. I had been there trying to help as much as I could, but there is little to do. His mind, though not broken, is injured. There’s no way to heal this injury though. When it happens, you just wait for it to scab over and then hope never to break it open again.”

Sam sat back down and waited. No one spoke, no one moved, they just processed. “Having a dislodged piece of armor stuck and poking sounds uncomfortable. Being unable to then remove it for the rest of one’s life, however, sounds absolutely unbearable. I didn’t know humans could be afflicted in such a way.” The ship captains quiet words were bolstering to Sam, who had been worried they would not understand at all. That metaphor, at least, had made sense to them.

“It’s something we only talk about to those we are very emotionally close to and only when we absolutely must.” Sam looked away and Elda noticed the same look in her eyes that Human John had when he was attacked, as though she were looking far away and at something else. Was she also afflicted? Suddenly she was focused again on the ship captain’s eyes.

“Elda, what do you think?” the ship’s captain asked. There was no immediate answer. Elda shifted around more, keeping warm and thinking to himself.

“Human John is my friend and has been there for me in times of need, including during dangerous situations. I believe he is sick and cannot be held completely accountable. We should do what we can for him, to see that he is as strong mentally as he can be. I would like to personally assist if possible.” Sam smiled brightly.

“That would make him very happy, Elda, and when you feel ready he would like to see you to pass along his apologies personally.” She beamed at him.

“I will do that. But maybe I will wait for my shell to be repaired.” She laughed and stood to tell John the news.

#writing

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spiritual-doctor4u · 6 years ago

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FLOW CHARTING DEPRESSION - for mental health

FLOW CHARTING DEPRESSION - STEP BY STEP

DIS-MEMBER / DIS-AT-EASE ENVIRONMENT

/ I \ I

#HURT DEHYDRATION HARM EXTERNAL STIMULI -------Death of loved one

I I I / \ Loss monetary

INJURY I DISEASES COGNITION BELIEFS Broken Heart

\ I / Migraine I I Divorce

\ I / Asthmatic I I Separation

\ ------- PAIN-------/ I NEGATIVE EMOTIONS I

I Anginal DOUBT Empty nest

I Spondalitus ANGER Loss of Role

I Dyspepsia REVENGE Vacuum

I Colic LOOSE HOPE Retire

I Arthritis I

I DEEP MELANCHOLY

I FRUSTRATED

ACUTE ----- I----------------------------------- CHRONIC-------/

I I

I Blood/Urine/Stool I

DOCTOR & TESTS D E P R E S S I O N

I Ultrasound/X-ray I I \ COGNITIVE AFFECTS

I I I Vituperating

POSITIVE -----------------------------------NEGATIVE I Malingering

\ I Ranting

F I X I Blaming

/ \ I Bracing

#SURGERY MEDICATIONS----SIDE-EFFECTS PHYSICAL AFFECTS Whining

Rashness Blur Vision Frowning

Wt. Gain Memory loss Rubbing

Indigestion Slow movement Twitching

Dry Mouth Use of Crutches Grimacing

Constipation Support of Cane

Less Urine Appetite loss

Sleep disorder

High fatigue

SINKING INTO DEPRESSION

How does one get into a depression? Clinging like a leech to the past. Our own memory gets us into this black hole of depression. The events in the real world affect us so strongly, that we break down mentally and physically.

LIFE IS A SERIES OF MISHAPS FOR MOST

Broken heart is bound to happen someday. You put your head in the sand like the crane and refuse to see it coming. Divorce, is a way of going on separate paths with new partners or even alone. You cannot bear this loss. It is better than suffering, in a troubled marriage. Empty nest situation is inevitable in your life time. Children will grow up and fly away to find their own nests. This loss of role leaves, a giant hole in your life and you are shattered. Death of a loved one is truly shocking and you were not prepared for it. But this is how life is, highly unpredictable like the other situations: Job loss, retirement, accidents.

UNEDUCATED IN ANGER MANAGEMENT

When any of the above events happen in your life, you are jolted to the very core of your being and thrown out of balance. The first reaction is of shock, denial and disbelief. Anger kicks in. Why me, is the first question, we want an answer for? But there are no answers. Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal, with the intent of throwing it at someone else. But you are the one, who is getting burned, by holding on, to that hot coal.

PAIN IS NORMAL FOR MOST - ALLERGIC TO HAPPINESS / JOY

Sadness followed by fatigue sets in, next. This ball of pain starts as an ache in your heart. It starts to grow bigger and bigger. Soul crushing sense of hopelessness is followed by deep melancholy and despair. This combination of complex feelings and emotions should not last very long. A normal person must be out of this predicament, in a week or two. But when they persist, showing no signs of leaving you, then you are in big trouble. The ball of pain is now a snow ball of anxiety, pessimism, and dread out of proportions.

SOCIAL ILLNESS

A full blown depression is on its way. It is a social illness, because it affects all other people around you. Now the depression moves a step further and takes over the body. A feeling of NO-SELF is experienced. Depression is flat, hollow, and unendurable aloneness. You become slow in the mind, cannot walk normally, lacking in grace, polish, and coordination. It does graduate many times to a higher level of violence, or total with drawl. Depression bleeds relationships through suspicion and lack of confidence. Your own relatives and friends keep their distance now, just in case. So you end up being all alone, more and more. This is an enormous stress on you, taking you downhill, even faster. Next, you know that you have a full blown depression. For the second time, you get into denial and try to keep it a secret. You are mortally afraid of the stigma of depression. Hence you are prepared to suffer, in greater pain of shame and silence. To complicate the situation further you get into the victim and victimizer mentality. This is the third stage of depression and a pretty advanced one. All your time and energy is focused on blaming others for the unhappiness in your life. Emotional pain is expressed by criticizing, vituperating, ranting, and whining.

MENTALLY AGILE, BODILY IMMOBILE

Psychic scars are left behind when you believe that you are ugly, goofy, and incapable. Then you go into depression. What is the way out of your self-created sorry state of affairs? Be depressed, don’t fight it. Be aware, even trying being happy. It will go away. Many times, we take drastic measures to get out of these deplorable situations. Extreme actions, can lead us to even bigger problems and we can end up being paralyzed. Now you are lying down in bed, and cannot move at all, physically. But what is the mind doing. It is mobile. It is thinking and thinking in the wrong direction. You cannot move any part of your body. This is the single thought that is recurring. You are reinforcing the belief that you cannot move.

THE POWER OF AUTO SUGGESTION

Auto suggestion is working for you, of course in the opposite way. The body cooperates with the mind and the muscles do not get the electric charges essential for the muscular movement. How to get out of this predicament? You have to put in the reverse gear and drive away. The same auto suggestion has to be made to work for you, in the correct manner, the positive way. Think, and think that you can move. Imagine yourself doing all the normal activities. Visualize that you are running the marathon and winning it. Belief is the only factor that is holding you down on the bed. You do not need a doctor to help you. You need a hypnotist to get you up and running. When a hypnotist puts you in a trance and suggests that you can walk and move, the body cooperates immediately. You begin to walk as normally as before. We replaced auto suggestion with external suggestion and it worked. This proves beyond doubt, that there is nothing wrong, medically with the body. It also proves that the mind is the chief culprit. If you are alone in the house and god forbid, fire broke out in the room. You will get up and run out of the house to save yourself. This is the power of the mind over matter, or the body. Do not wait for external suggestions; change your beliefs with auto suggestion. You have the power in you. First say to yourself, what you would like to do or be? Then do what you have to do to get there.

HEALING YOUR PAIN

A doctor or a surgeon, can repair a damaged heart, but never repair a broken heart. It is only YOU, who can do this. Of course a healer can help and assist. When you discover that something is broken in your life, mind, heart, or spirit, you must go deep down, to find out the cause of the breakage. So you open up the component, examine it minutely; find the origin of the breakage or malfunction. Then, you decide to fix it or replace it. If fixing is needed, got to do it very carefully, delicately and give it a test run. Otherwise throw it away and replace it. Clean up the place, it once occupied. This is called Closure. It is a prerequisite, for HEALING. Many times, when love or lack of love, breaks our hearts, we allow our hearts to become brittle, hard and we close up, totally.

We do not have to be so harsh, on ourselves. For your own sanity, accept it. It is another lesson to be learnt. The trick is, to LET GO.

Letting go, is accepting, learning and experiencing it, as you grow up.

Letting go, is to be thankful for the experience that made you laugh and cry.

To let go, is to cherish the memories, to overcome and move on. To let go, is not, thinking sad thoughts, and forgetting.

It is having an open mind and confidence in the future.

It is neither winning or losing, nor giving in.

It is not about pride and how you appear.

It is not obsessing or dwelling in the past.

It should not leave feelings of emptiness, hurt, sadness, anger, jealousy, or regret.

It is certainly about you; all you have had and will have, soon again.

COURAGE TO CHANGE

Have the courage to accept change and summon up strength, to keep moving on. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. Love is not a thing or a material object, which can be lost, when given. It is like an ocean. It is bound to come back, if you allow it. Be prepared to open a door, clear a path, and set yourself free. Break up! No, never. You have to do it gently, respect fully, do not be hard on yourself and the other person. Don’t fight sadness. Try to make it go away. Welcome it, indulge in it, feel it. Buy yellow roses as friendship signal and become stronger.

YOUR BELIEFS ARE THE REASON FOR YOUR PAIN

Pain and suffering is inevitable in this world, but being miserable is optional. This brings the ball back into your coat. Pain in the human body is a signal for action. Physical harm or hurt, like an injury or a disease will cause severe pain. Now, is the time to get a doctor to make a house call on you? The doctor will examine you thoroughly and conduct a couple of tests, to make sure what and where the malady lies. If the results of the tests are positive, the doctor will take corrective action and fix your problem. If the results of the tests are negative, you are stuck with a bigger problem, which this doctor cannot fix. It is chronic pain syndrome. Chronic pain is long lasting, irritant, dis-enabling you, from doing your normal social activities: working a job, loss of memory, upset appetite, sleeplessness, perpetual fatigue, slowing down in movements, saying no to sexual pleasures and missing out on laughter and joy, which life has to offer. Your cognition, about chronic pain is fundamental to this cause.

In the primitive days, pain was associated with evil spirits.

In the Judeo-Christian era, pain was accepted as punishment for our sins.

In Greece, pain is taken up as a challenge to deal with.

In China, pain is identified with imbalance in Yin-Yang energies.

Today, pain is the basis of disease-medicine model by our doctors.

CHRONIC PAIN SYNDROME

When you continue to accept your cognition of pain syndrome, the pain persists and gets you into a vicious loop. Doubting emotions are self-fulfilling beliefs. First you lose hope and then lose control over self. The next set of emotions that take over, are anxiety, anger, revenge, for the person who you think, is responsible for your pain, depression, despondency, and finally frustration. All this is in your mind. The experts call it cognition dissonance. It is your inner turmoil resulting from contradictions in personal beliefs and behavior. Cognitive behavior embraces a whole range of mannerisms. You become visible to others, by using supports, canes, crutches, chairs. You also use rubbing, frowning, twitching, jerking, sighing, to draw attention. You voice yourself by moaning, complaining and verbalizing. When you are all alone you reinforce the thoughts by silly self-talk in your head. Why me? The pain hurts and hurts badly. The mind helps the body cooperate, by the absence of all brain-chemicals specially, endorphins.

Chronic pain management encompasses three primary stages. Cognitive restructuring, is achieved by asserting yourself positively. You stop self-talk thoughts, by giving a command to self. Gradually you become useful, thus boosting up your self-esteem, to get out of the loop. Relaxation and deep breathing are recommended as the second step. Self-hypnosis, by visualizing on pleasant events, helps on mental level. Lastly you must exercise to release brain chemicals in the system. Exercising additionally helps reconditions your muscles, tissues and stamina on the physical level.

Personally, this chapter is not applicable to me because I was a born healer. I was consulted by my friends on many different problems as early as 16 years of age. I would ask them their monthly consumption of oil, sugar, rice and wheat in kilograms. Next I would advise them to simply change the ratios and see the results. It always worked. I was a social scientist right from start. There were no heart breaks because we were taught that right things will happen at the right time. Since we studied in coed schools we always had friends of both sexes. On the home front, we had a dozen she cousins & very close family friends to interact with and grow up congenially. I was the lucky one to go and live with my uncles, aunts for long extended periods. I was introduced to yoga exercises at a very early age. In college I played all racket games like badminton, lawn tennis, squash, & table tennis to keep myself in perfect shape. So fortunate........ unbelievable.

Rohit Khanna - Before knowledge Insane, After knowledge IN-SANE

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amberdscott2 · 8 years ago

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Top 10 Questions iMend Technicians Get Asked

A day in the life of an iMend.com mobile phone technician is never the same as each broken device presents its own set of problems. There are however a number of questions that a mobile phone & tablet repair technician gets asked on a regular basis. We thought it would be useful to share the answers to these questions.

So let’s hear it then, the Top 10 Questions that an iMend.com Mobile Phone Techie gets asked…..

Question 1

Can you just replace the glass only on my device screen rather than having to fit a new LCD as well?

An iPhone Screen Replacement comes as a fully bonded unit including the LCD & Glass

Answer

Most phone & tablet screen replacements come as fully bonded units which mean that the glass and LCD are fused together in the frame, so the glass & LCD will be replaced in full. Glass only replacements can only be done in clean, workshop, dust free environments with specialist tools and equipment and on selected makes and models. This is why an iPhone Call Out Technician could not offer this option. There are occasions when a glass only repair can be done on some Samsung and iPad screens. These can only be done at the repair centre and will be specified on www.imend.com/repairs. We will only complete a glass only repair if we recommend that they are a stable and high quality repair.

Question 2

Will the technician access my personal data and imagery during the repair?

iMend adheres to strict Data Protection protocols

Answer

No the technician will not do this. A call out technician will perform the repair in front of you so you can see exactly what he/she are doing and you can even put the passcode in your phone without the tech seeing it. Our Repair Centre is fully data protected and technicians all DBS checked, which means that anyone that works on your device has been background checked by iMend.com. As we are listed on the data protection register we adhere to these regulations and we cannot access any of your data!

Question 3

My device has been immersed in water. Should I put it in a bag of rice?

Putting your phone in rice will not remove water from the device

Answer

No, a bag of rice will not remove the liquid from inside your device. It’s an urban myth. Rice has actually got the potential to clog your charging port and the starch in the rice could in fact accelerate the corrosion process and cause motherboard damage. The only solution is to send it into iMend.com for a full chemical clean. For further information read our recommendations about what to do after your device has been exposed to liquid. Water Damaged Device – What do i do next?

Question 4

Can my iPad be repaired onsite?

iMend ensure best practice iPad Repair

Answer

If you want a high quality repair we recommend that an iPad is not repaired onsite. iPads have a large surface area of glass and as such will cause a mess in people’s homes and offices with small, dangerous shards of glass that could be exposed as part of the screen removal. iPads also need to be heated up to high temperatures to remove the glue from the screen competently and then after the repair need to be cooled down and wrapped in a cling film/tape/clamps to ensure that the screen bonds with the frame effectively for several hours afterwards. If this is not done there is every chance that the screen will start to lift off the frame. Take a read at why we recommend iPad repairs are not done on site. iPad Screen Replacement

Question 5

Can you replace my screen if the device or housing on the back is bent?

Rear Housing repair on an iPad Mini

Answer

After a device has been dropped or suffered impact there is a good chance that the frame has been bent or misshapen. A repair technician will be able to to their very best with straightening tools onsite to straighten out the frame but in many cases the frame or rear housing will need to be replaced so that the device is straight enough for a screen to be mounted without it lifting off again in the future. If the screen is not set to a straight rear surface when the device is used there is a good chance that the screen will move, lift or dislodge.

Question 6

Will i void my warranty if I have scratched, dropped or cracked my device?

Will warranty be voided if i crack my phone?

Answer

All repair companies warranties (including iMend.com/warranty) state that accidental damage voids the warranty and you will require a new repair. If a screen is cracked, has signs of scratches, dents and wear and tear caused by the user this would not be covered under a typical warranty as this would be termed user fault. There are occasions however that technician error when fitting the part can cause small cracks to appear on the device for instance if key screws have been overtightened. If this is the case then the device would be covered under an iMend.com warranty. A trained iMend.com technician would be able to run thorough checks to identify where any responsibility lies and provide a clear recommendation quickly.

Question 7

Can I trust an iMend Technician in coming to my home address?

iMend.com Approved Call Out Technicians

Answer

Absolutely, all iMend technicians have been vetted by the iMend.com Recruitment Team. This means that each technician that comes out to a home or business will have passed technical, customer service and completed background checks to ensure they can be on the iMend.com system. All technicians are DBS checked for your peace of mind. When an iMend.com technician is approved they will be given an iMend Security Tag or branded top which they will wear on every job and can show you at the front door. If you visit a technician in Glasgow, London or Manchester they will all follow the same iMend.com protocols. It might be useful to see how a iMend.com call-out repair works

Question 8

Will my Touch ID (fingerprint recognition) still work on my iPhone after a screen replacement?

Touch id & fingerprint recognition advice

Answer

Some iPhone models have fingerprint recognition set in the home button including iPhone 5S, 6, 6 Plus, 6S, 6S Plus, 7 & 7 Plus. This enables you to use the security enclave in the home button to safely pay for items via Apple pay etc. Provided that there is no damage to the home button a screen replacement on these devices will not affect this feature. An iMend.com technician will always pre-test a phone to see if the home button is working before they start a screen replacement and then the tech will transplant the original home button as part of the repair to ensure the touch ID functionality is still operable.

Question 9

I am not sure what model of device i have – how do I check for this?

Effective iMend.com model checker

Answer

All devices will have a model number that will help you to identify which device you have, so that you can book in for your repair. The iMend.com site provides many links to help you identify which model you have across all major brands. Some of the model numbers will be on the back of the phone, some are kept in the SIM tray and others are in the settings of the device. Simply visit https://www.imend.com/repairs/iphone-repair/ and then select the manufacturer eg Apple, Samsung, Sony and then click on the tab “Not Sure Which Model”

Question 10

What is a mobile phone or tablet diagnostic?

iMend.com Mobile Phone Diagnostics

Answer

A diagnostic is beneficial when you can’t specify what is wrong with the device. For instance if the device won’t turn on, if it has intermittent issues or is just not performing as it has in the past it is useful to run a diagnostic to quickly and effectively pinpoint the issues, rather than manually changing parts on site. iMend use computerised diagnostic software that test all areas of the device including battery life cycles, bluetooth, camera, microphone, screen, GPS, headset and much more. Combined with other visual checks this will enable the Diagnostic Techs to quickly identify the correct repair issues first time and backed with a full report. The other bonus is that a diagnostic is only £19.99 with iMend.com and as if the customer goes ahead with the repair this diagnostic fee is deducted from the overall cost. Read more about how an iMend.com Diagnostic works.

So there you have it the Top 10 Questions that are asked by our customers. We hope these have been helpful. If you have any more questions or a general query the iMend.com site is packed with helpful hints, tops tips and information to help you make your repair decisions.

Here are some places that may be helpful.

iMend Blog

iMend Frequently Asked Questions

Facebook

Twitter

If you can’t find out the information that you are looking for or would like to talk through a fault with your device call us on 0333 014 4262 or email [email protected]

The post Top 10 Questions iMend Technicians Get Asked appeared first on iMend Blog.

from Amber Scott Technology News https://www.imend.com/blog/top-10-questions-imend-technicians-get-asked/

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