#fucking losing my mind i cant even see straight after looking at this

[lordundying]

i have elected to become monster & beauty & grace & terror. i will not go.

had the pleasure of commissioning my most beloved @delicateweapon for a piece of my d&d character jinx after her recent transformation into an aasimar & departure from the party on her villain journey and i am just absolutely awestruck!! every single detail in this is incredible, stunning, showstopping—i was already emo about not having her as my player character in that campaign anymore but this just floored me. thank you nika for your gorgeous work, i love you my friend! and please everyone, commission nika if you get the chance, you won't regret it!!

[cathartic-crypt]

im continuing my benny posting by sharing my benny hcs. in no particular order. and very quickly typed up. enjoy ^_^

- tattooed. he has lots and lots and lots of tattoos from when he was a boot rider. all kinds of tattoos. some desert themed, some things based around him, some others depicting things he just likes. he doesnt mind them much nowadays, hes so used to them that he sees them as part of his skin. although hes a little bit iffy about showing others his old tattoos. hes got an image to upkeep after all - speaking of boot riders. he got a canine knocked out by bingo during their fight. so he got a gold one fitted shortly after he became the leader of the chairmen. and it glints like hell - he wears lots of gold jewellery. especially pre-war rings. he prefers engraved ones, ones with little images etched into the metal or ones with short messages rather than ones with gems. he also wears a cross necklace under his shirt - despite his gun and necklace...hes not christian. like at all. he doesnt care for religion and hasnt read anything about the engraving on his pistol or the meaning of necklace. he just likes how flashy and elaborate the imagery looks - by the time the courier rolls around hes 31. he's also 5'5". - he has a dad bod. i will personally fistfight anyone who draws him muscular and dehydrated. living the cushy and comfortable life of a casino boss means hes not some lean bodybuilder - however...thats not to say he ISNT strong or that hes unhealthy. he has a really high endurance, and can last for a long while out in the desert. also he doesnt like admitting it but hes probably a fraction better at straight up punching someone than shooting them at point blank range - since he was always outside and always doing something, he used to have super calloused hands. but again, casino life means theyre much more pampered and soft now - however hes still got one hell of a grip. he can very easily grab you by your shirt and throw you out of the front door without even breaking a sweat - hes Bi. theres literally no way he isnt, fuck you. BUT he really isnt one for meaningful romantic connections, he much prefers something quick with zero extra baggage (i.e. one night stands, friends with benefits) - hes super nosy. and almost terrifyingly good at recognising and remembering faces. he sees a new face in the tops that he doesnt instantly match to a regular? he needs to know their name. and then he promptly loses all interest because the mystery is lost and the people turn out to be, by all things considered, really fucking boring - even further...anyone who doesnt fall for his charismatic charm (or, even worse, doesnt care about his reputation) becomes a nuisance and he NEEDS to at least form some sort of impression on them, be it good or bad. like full on “if you dont form an opinion about me i will pull my own hair out” - he used to have an absolute love for geckos. he didnt tame them, he was more so inclined to hunt than to nurture, but he would feed scraps to the younger ones - which meant they began to follow him around from time to time... not anymore though. he thinks theyre dirty and brutish and a reflection of what it was like to be a boot rider - hes called Benny Boots (mockingly) by people around the strip. at least by those who knows about the three families past. other than that his last name is Gecko. he also personally calls himself Benny 'New Vegas' sometimes as a sort of boastful title because he thinks hes the shining face (not the heart, mind you - thats House) of the strip - hes a huge morning person. its something he picked up, and cant get rid of, from the boot rider days. he wakes up super early in the morning, rising with the sun - and hates sleeping in because he feels like hes wasting time. he goes to sleep pretty late, since new vegas is awake at night, but he doesnt feel tired. a couple hours of sleep is good enough for him.

[kiwibirb1]

Okay here to create an entire au based on just one song lyric but:

"What if the protagonists just died in the first scene?"

Anne did NOT survive that first week. But the guardian is like "shit didnt think this far ahead ummm ghost?" So Anne is this visible but *mostly intanglibe spirit. she panics at first bc "OMF I DIED" but gets used to it. shes visible, can still interact with people. she has cool ghost powers now. aint all that bad, aint it?

*If she focuses reallyyyyy hard than she can get like. half an hour of tangibleness. MAX

anyway now to over exlpain stuff as it pops into my head but ill put it under the cut dont worry. got the basic stuff anyway alwaredy

So: Reunion. Anne of the year happens and stuff and Toadie is like "some one says their a friend" yada yada yada stuff so anne is still ghost when she goes up to sasha. BUT she has learned that its best to pretend to be alive at least when approaching someone so she float walks up (looks like shes walking but is actaully floating) and then realizes its sasha and goes "Oh shit" and tangibles herself just before the hug. during the ride she lets herself go untangible but still trys to keep herself not see through so sasha doesnt know whats up. anyway while theyre at toad tower she tangibles but is really fucking tired most of the time. fight happens and anne is holding on with everything shes got. except she can feel herself losing focus. Sasha says the whole 'better off without me" line but right before she can let herself go Anne goes intangible again so sasha drops but she knows she was still holding on and she could feel anne so what happened? sasha has a lot of questions. Anne has extra grief bc she was the one who dropped sash. yeah...

Marcy at the gates! Anne is fully prepared to float over the wall and stuff but doesnt bc fam is in danger and oh hey theyre saved and thats a weird looking newt let me float over and help them but- oh. that is a human. who has just seen me be very much not alive. shit.

Anne pretends that nothing happened for a bit and goes tangible and all that while theyre doing the barbirant quest thing. Marcy is like "well, since she's not mentioning it, I must have imagined it!" Until that one bit where Marcy like shoves Anne out of the way. And just goes straight through her. Both girls eyes widen as they process what just happened but Anne takes control and is like "I'LL EXPLAIN LATER LETS FOCUS ON THE FIGHT RN" so yada yada yada thing happens except Anne kinda hides ghostyness a little less bc the secret is already out, not much you can do now. After fight she explains and marcy is broken. She brought her best friend here and now shes dead. She killed her best friend. Breaks so hard in fact that she spills the secret to Anne who is like "what. i- i need time to think" so they dont talk for multiple days besides the king andrias meeting**. Anne eventually lets Marcy explain why and friendship is very strained but Anne learns to move on. Not forgive, not yet, maybe not even ever, but move on. It happened, and all she can do now is deal with the consequences.

**CORE LORE HEHEHE. So actaully gonna slightly change some core lore and shit. Anne takes one look at the crown and it like "that thing is evil and I dont know why" bc she has some extra spirit senses now. She tries to focus in on it and her eyes flash blue for a second and she catches a glimpse of thousands of orange spirits, all with to many eyes, floating around the crown and whispering in Andrias's ears. She cant see them again, but is very suspicious of Andrias now. Thankfully, the core didn't see her. Or did it?

One little spirit, mostly ignored by the rest, saw her looking. For some reason, it doesn't feel compelled to tell the rest of the hivemind. It knows they wont look in it's mind, it has long lost all usefullness, only around because it was forgotten. It itself can't connect with the rest, and has no reason to want to. It follows Anne, leaving the core behind. It watches, silent. Until one day, Anne catches a glimpse of it following her. She doesnt day anything until she is alone. She calls out, "I know you're there." It is surprised, but becomes visible to her. (only her. thats important. but yeah the core ghosts have more control over theyre visiblity and shit.) She is surprised. It seems... so small. "Who are you?" It seems to think. It does not know. It's name has long faded from memory. It tells her so, and she softens just a bit more. "What are you?" It perks up. This it knows the answer to! It tells her of the Core, the collection of Amphibia's greatest minds. She understands why she dislikes the crown now, and what she saw that day. But she also knows that this little fellow wont hurt her.

Anne has a little ghost buddy now. She names it Clementine. (It's faintly orange, just like all the other Core ghosts, but slightly less as it is nearly entirely removed from the hivemind.)

[baahsu]

hi hello baahsu its me the person who wrote two (give or take) whole ass vscest smut fics in your inbox now returned after a sudden month long disappearance to (hopefully lol) continue yelling happily about this ship with you!! :]

tldr i got back into op again and noticed how incredibly dry tumblrs vinsmokecest tag is and realized itd prolly be best to add to it lol, but alas i don't rlly know what to talk about rn :,)

uh. how about this!! what do you think would be the siblings' favorite outfits to fuck in, iydm me asking??

kinda generic but i think 124ji would lose it (/pos) if they got the chance to fuck sanji in his raid suit, mumbling and raving in his ear about he should just keep it on all the time as they take turns destroying him. reiju, although not as crazy abt it bc shes a *liiitle* more sane lol, would probably find it decently hot as well. sanjis no better tho- he sees his siblings, (especially yonji and reiju cause. tits :o]) all hot from battle in those skin tight suits and his nose is GUSHING

and heads kinda empty rn so cant think of much BUT i do have two ideas that im curious abt ur opinion on (and these are purely self indulgent lmao):

i srsly think ichiji has a feminization kink, though he doesnt really realize it 'less he gets emotions. it mostly crosses his mind whenever he sees sanji or niji in more effeminate clothing, like blouses, dresses, and ESPECIALLY skirts and is abruptly hit with the Vinsmoke Horny Gene™. he probably wouldn't piece it together unless reiju (ever the attentive vouyer) just straight up told him lmao

and SPEAKING of reiju, whether its her or one of her brothers wearing them, i feel like she has a thing for stockings. especially fishnets 🤲. especially TIGHT fishnets 🤲🤲. obviously all of them have good bodies that could rock stockings, but if we're going for a lower/bottom heavy build clearly sanjis the way to go. idk i just think that if reiju were to ever see sanji in any type of stockings (ESPECIALLY nice, snug fishnets) she'd just destroy him. like suck the soul outta him lol

YEAH thats all I got rn hqdyaduqfuqf good to be back yelling in your inbox about My Thoughts again have a good day/night :,]]

Welcome back anon!! I missed you 💜💜

I've said this before but I don't even bother looking at the vinsmokecest tag here bc I know there's never any new content in it (tho I'm surprised there's no hate either, guess this ship is unpopular from all sides lmao)

I actually never thought about any of these outfits options and my mind just went 🤯 at sanji's raid suit. Like, I can totally imagine the brothers praising sanji so much while wearing it?? "You're so pretty in it, it fits you so well, look at your thighs, it was made for you, you should just come back to us so you can always wear it, your ass looks so delicious in it too" they'd do it so much even reiju would have to say something, maybe just a subtle "they're right, you know" that would instantly disarm sanji

A more obvious outfit is lingerie, with how they are just the sight of a lacy bra strap or the peak of a garter belt or thigh strap would get them going. They'd be walking around the castle and catch a glimpse of it through the collar of a shirt, see the lines under one of their pants, and they'd pull the other into the closest room, sometimes not even that, the hallway is good enough and the staff passing by doing their jobs be damned (I can't decide if they'd enjoy putting on a show or if they'd get ridiculously jealous and rip their heads off tho)

[wazzappp]

anGR RE7 au part two electric boogaloo

(Edit: OUTDATED. I have since remade this au)

part 1

Robbie thinks he’s protecting himself and Gabe by not telling the BSAA, but they totally already know they're both infected. Mandatory blood tests revealed incredibly high concentrations of the mold in both of them. Sidenote with the blood testing: Robbie would absolutely use the fuck out of the psychostimulants. In the game they reveal hidden loot so I think that would translate to hyper-vigilance and oh jeez would he use the hell out of that in a survival horror situation. But what the fuck are the psycho stimulants? Addaral? Meth? COCAINE? Idk dude but I think it would be funny as fuck for a scientist to go “Yeah with this mold concentration he should have mutated into a horrifying monster by now and he hasn’t but WHY THE FUCK HAS HE TAKEN ENOUGH COKE TO KILL A HORSE?” Anyway, tangent over. 

The BSAA has decided to just observe for now. They briefly considered separating them just because Gabe’s virus concentrations of the mold were significantly lower than Robbies, and then remembered that Robbie just single handedly fought through what would have killed two of their teams. If they wanted to try and take Gabe away they should be ready to lose an entire compound of men. Besides, the kid is like a built-in handler for them. He makes Robbie happy, keeps him wanting to be as human as possible, and most importantly keeps him fucking docile. The havoc someone who just cant fucking die (along with probable other powers) would be able to wreak… better to just keep them together.

And the most annoying part for Robbie is that they are probably right. Gabe is his tether to humanity in this AU as much as he is in canon. The hive mind aspect of the mold could make it incredibly easy for Robbie to lose himself without someone to center him. Gabe keeps him focused on things like; needing to eat, needing to drink water, needing to breathe (his skin isn't actually skin, just a mold approximation of it so he doesn't technically need lungs). On that note, after receiving a lot of damage Robbie looks significantly less human. The mold and his subconscious are no longer focused on blending in, but on healing themselves and attacking the threat. Places where scars from past injuries at the Baker house are most apparent usually start to turn black and spiderweb out, along with whatever area received damage. It takes a few hours and a feeling of safety to go back to normal.

I've been thinking about how to fit Lisa into this au because I really like her, and I'm thinking she should be a scientist. She's sent once or twice a month to collect blood samples from both of them to monitor their health. At first Robbie does not trust her in the slightest. The mold is still at work combined with his traumatic experiences and she is very much an intruder from an organization he does not trust. Gabe is an entirely different case. His mind isn't as influenced as Robbies and he still desires more social interaction than he's presently getting (hence talking to the mold in the walls like I said on my previous dump) So he's also skeptical about Lisa at first but warms up to her pretty quick. She doesn't get annoyed when he asks her about her cool equipment like some of the other people who come by, and she actually talks to him like a person. 

Goldendaydna made a BEAUTIFUL suggestion for getting Robbie to trust Lisa more quickly and it translated into my brain as this so here is how their first meeting goes: Lisa comes in early in the morning and introduces herself as a doctor from the BSAA here to make checkups on them. Both of the brothers are pretty suspicious and really don't trust her. But she explains that she's just here to take a few samples and run some cognitive tests while she's emptying out her bag. She sees Gabe eyeing the equipment and starts to explain what each thing does while taking it out. Robbie is straight up not letting Gabe even get close to any of that shit and staring daggers at Lisa but she says she can't leave until these tests are completed. She basically just sits in the kitchen refusing to leave. Hours later Gabe finally gets too curious to leave her be, and starts talking to her while Robbie is outside cooling off. She's been making attempts at small talk all morning and every time Robbie ignores her she writes a fucking memo in her stupid little notebook who the hell does she even think sHE IS GOD DAM- anyway. Gabe agrees to do some bloodwork after she offers to show him how her equipment works. She seems nice and what she's talking about isn't scary at all! The mold in the house lets him know what's happening and Robbie just BOOKS it back inside while tendrils of black start to creep out the crevices of the walls. Lisa gets that she is very clearly not welcome and puts her hands up while still holding her notepad “Ok, ok I get it. I’ll leave.” She takes a look at Gabe, who is currently hiding behind Robbie looking very worried and sets her notebook down on the table with the rest of her equipment. Then takes a couple steps back towards the door. “Don't worry, I won't tell them about all” she gestures at the walls “this. If you want a different doctor the BSAA will send one in.” she says, trying to defuse the situation because there is a very angry Bioweapon in front of her right now. And Robbie actually manages to think through the overprotective moldy haze and realizes that 1. There's no guarantee that she will keep her mouth shut and he can't keep track of that if she goes away forever. 2. Maybe if he’s careful with his words and questions he can try and learn more about him and Gabe's respective infection levels. 3. This is… kind of an overreaction, he can see that. Robbie’s noticed that he's becoming more territorial (he's paranoid not blind) and he very VERY much does not want the mold to affect his mind more than it already has. Maybe she can be practice for not wanting to shove everything that isn't molded out of the house? The mold slowly creeps off the walls and he flops down in a chair and puts his arm on the table basically saying ‘FINE’.

Lisa serves a double purpose; collection of samples and observation as well as socialization. She really did mean it when she said she wouldn't tell the BSAA. Mostly because she doesn't need to, they already know Robbies infected (Robbie just doesn't know that they know oh god it's like a bad detective novel up in my brain rn). But getting the samples at all when her coworkers were expecting extraordinary violence definitely earns her some brownie points at work. Robbie seems perfectly fine keeping his own little world isolated to himself and Gabe, but if he ever begins to feel trapped the BSAA needs to know how safe he is around other people and if the brothers can be reintegrated into less isolated areas. They are mostly concerned with Robbies aggression because.. well… he has shown to be VERY AGGRESSIVE when fighting through the Bakers house (I mean Ethan and by proxy Robbie cut Jack Baker in half with a chainsaw to be fair). 

Because Lisa is more trusted by the brothers, she is often sent ahead of time if someone else needs to come by the house. In this way she acts both as a buffer for the mold's hatred (and subsequently Robbies hatred) of unfamiliar people coming into what is supposed to be a safe place. For example, if the electricity goes out she might show up an hour before the electrician to prepare the boys for someone new arriving. When she shows up they're both just sitting in the dark around a candle with the light reflecting off their eyes lol.

I think with Ethan being trained by the BSAA (probably to be used as an agent) they would probably do the same with Robbie at first. If they can use his brother to keep him under control he could be incredibly effective at neutralizing new bio threats. I think Robbie would be skeptical about what they're training him for but I don't think he would object to learning more about how to defend himself. Eventually I think the BSAA would decide that he's too volatile to be used as an agent… but maybe Gabe could still be useful. It's important to remember the BSAA aren't really evil, but they are desperate and probably corrupt to a certain degree (so..kind of evil? Whatever lol). They're not like the old Umbrella Corporation but they aren't any kind of morally pure. I think they would try and find a way to sedate Robbie so Gabes skills could be freely utilized. 

[sidesteppostinghours]

9 and 25 for all of them !! :)

evening gideon!! thank you for the ask :]

9. Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?

ok. so. the thing about me is that i dont actually listen to music all that often??? its mostly when i draw digitally, and im primarily a traditional artist so i dont really know that many songs. i also have shitty memory so its hard for me to remember quotes. aka this is a pretty hard question for me to answer, but i will try my best:

Caine-"Oh, captain, make up your mind/Before the salt burns your eyes and you run out of time/'Cause you're popping the cork, you get lost in your brain/And you lose touch with all the things that made you feel sane" - Ship in a Bottle (fin)

honestly ive never really associated this song with him before but i looked into the lyrics just to see whether it had anything i could think of them with and theres??? actually a bunch of lyrics there that fit???? like to the point i was struggling to decide which one to use for this. but i think this one, the second chorus, really encapsulates the biggest parts of their character. hes the decision maker out of all my steps, the one that knows how to make the logical choices and think his way out of a problem. but hes on a time limit. he doesn't know when it will end, just that it will at some point, and they cant stop if they want everything done in time. also sight and eyes is something i associate caine with a lot, especially closing your eyes/refusing to see. "you get lost in your brain/and you lose touch with all the things that made you feel sane." COUGHS. coughs. caine has the most gates open out of all my steps. i also fully intend to make them the source of hb 2.0. yeah.

Cyrus- HE WAS THE ONLY ONE I THOUGHT OF AN ANSWER FOR STRAIGHT AWAY AND I SPRINTED TO HIS TAG JUST TO FIND THE POST

look him in the eyes and say this to his face. he will look like he got hit by a freight train.

Cecilia- another quote!

im just gonna go ahead and put my own tags to this one because thats where i put it best:

#thinking about this again with ceci#the best part is the bullet hole#like yeah shes not ready to face the fact that everything shes been doing up till now#was just to distract herself from the absolute misery life became after heartbreak#she has FRIENDS she has people she CARES about and they even seem to like her back!!!!#she even has a girlfriend!#isnt that enough?#tell her thats enough#cecilia rider

theres a reason shes a thrill seeker yall.

Cynthia- "I swear, I'm so fucking sorry/I'm not a good person, I'm barely a person at all/But someday I'll be perfect, and I'll make up for it all" - Against the Kitchen Floor (Will Wood)

uh. *looks at cynthias relationship with ortega* uhhhh. *looks at cynthias relationship with sidestep*. uhhhhhhhh.

this song was also difficult to choose lyrics out of, but there is just something so special about girls who simply have to be the best they can to make up for the sin of being. there is something equally as special about girls who take their past selves as judge, and their lover as executioner. also "im not a good person, im barely a person at all" kills me. the regene flavouring on that line??? utterly insane of mr wood to make a song just for her.

25. What is your favorite thing about your OC?

THESE BITCHES ARE SO CONTRADICTORY!!! THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING CLASHING ABOUT THESE FUCKERS AND ITS DELICIOUS. not even just trait wise, but with their themes? their core ideals? their relationships???? its always some sort of fucking fundamental difference shaping the way they act and i am Obsessed with it. also all of them are dangerous and it makes me vibrate a little bit. rangers you are so lucky that none of them are interested in leaning into being a full blown villain. but this question is,,, also difficult to answer because idk how to pick just one favourite lmfao. i will attempt it though.

Caine- he is the normalest guy around. there is also something Deeply Wrong with him. my favourite thing about caine would probably be how fun it is to dive into his psyche! ill often have times where i get bored of them and wonder why i got so interested in the first place, and then i get hit with another round of it and i remember "oh right! its because hes insane." his whole character revolves around what is going on inside their brain, from their high subterfuge to their connection with heartbreak and his relationship with the puppet. theyre the most fun to play with in their mind.

Cyrus- god. my favourite thing about him is a tie between his stubbornness and his surprisingly strong sense of empathy. both of those were the things keeping him from becoming a villain in the first place, and now its whats stopping him from going back to being a hero. i want him to confront what hes become so bad yall dont understand-

Cecilia- cecilia is just. a breath of fresh air. shes easy and super fun to play, and while she certainly has her moments (i am looking directly at the checkpoint three mortum reveal scene), shes mostly lighthearted fun cruising through the game as nothing more than a silly guy. i think the next game will actually dig into her character more deeply and allow me to showcase the parts of her shed usually keep hidden, but for now im having a good time getting her to kiss argent and embarrass her friends.

Cynthia- somebody come pick her up please before she starts crying in this club. she is crying because of me but lets not talk about that. i think my favourite thing about her is the contrast between her general wimpy sad lovergirl disposition and her revenge scar, and how she chooses to cope with it! because like,,,, it is just so so tasty watching her fumble with the overwhelming emotion, Especially since the emotion is hurting people. she never learned what to do with the anger! she does not want it! she wants to be as kind to other people as possible! "im not a bad dog, i dont know why i bite" etc etc. eventually she might figure it out, but Definitely Not Now lmfao.

questions from here!

[playboynanners]

i wanna start off by telling u i am sorry!! i wanna tell u about all this crazy shit in my head, and want to open up and want to talk about my feelings but no matter what, i just cant make out the right words...? like it feels like cant properly put my thoughts and emotions into words i guess??

all i want to do right now is cry and scream and let it all out because its killing me inside. i cant take it anymore. i feel weird. i dont want to do anything. i always feel tired. i dont have any energy. a part of me broken. something is def weighing on my heart. i just feel so fucking suffocated. i feel like i am so far behind in life that i will never catch up. everyone is doing so many things with their lives. and i am just here. i really dont think i can do this its getting dark again. and im afraid. im too tired to carry on. i want MYSELF back bro is that too much to ask for? i deffff know its getting bad because even sleep and music dont help and i feel sick all the time and i just want to disappear. i really feel like there is no happy ending for me . thats why getting through the days is hard rayen i honestly from the bottom of my heart know its all for nothing. u guys are waiting for me to get over it, to finally do something with my life, and i know u guys are getting impatient. but what u guys dont know is that im already gone. i dont like who i am. there is nothing good about me. i am sick of wasting my time. i am worn out. i so fucking tired. the anxiety consumes me at times i feel like i cant breathe i cant think straight intrusive thoughts of self distraction consume my mind i am sooo fucking sick of this version of myself!!!!! im fucking tired of the poor choices i keep making. i truly believe i have hit rock bottom. this is the humblest i have ever been because my ego has nothing to be proud of. i know i knowww it is important to be gentle with myself but its also crucial to be honest. im not taking care of myself. im doing drugs, im on social media all day. i either dont eat healthy, or i dont eat at all. i dont exercise. i watch things that arent positive and go to sleep and wake up late. i am sick to my stomach as i write this. i just want to go up from here because i cant live this way anymore. i dont wanna live this way anymore. but like if you never felt like the way i do right now... the drained , depression . WORTHLESS feeling ... then u cant say shit about me "getting better starts with yourself bs" LIKE UH ? YEAH I HATE MYSELF AND DONT GIVE A FUCKKKKK ABOUT NUN SO WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN??? like i honestly didnt even think i would be alive at my age i thought i wouldve been dead by 20 so u can only imagine how lost i feel lol. i dont know what to do with my life and i feel like im just wasting away most days. and i dont fucking know how to fix it. maybe this is my time for me and im supposed to be enjoying it for exactly what it is? like i dunno i just know i always fucking ruin EVERYTHINGGGG . i casually sabotage all my positive relationships with negative delusions because my life doesnt feel real unless something dramatic and destructive is constantly occurring. i really want to kill whats inside of my head. i hate living like this day after day. i just want my pain to end bro . i see how everyone looks at me like i’m a burden, how they fake concern only to switch up at me the next second. i don’t want to be this way, im so lost and alone and i just don’t see the point anymore. this is the loneliest i have ever felt. i don't have a shoulder to cry on when im sad, i have got legit no one to go to. i have noooo tears left to cry dude. my heart hurts so much. my insides are burning. i dont know how to help myself. i legitimately try and i make it worse. i wanna scream all this hurt and pain out. can i just lose my memory just so i can take a break from feeling this way? im not sure how long i can handle this alone anymore all honesty .

AND i wouldnt say im "addicted" to drugs and alcohol (JUST YET lol) butttt what i hate about liking them is that once you know how that high feels and the break from reality you get from everything you will FOREVER know how good it felt and thats the problem. u can be days, months, years of being clean. but i know when you quit its gonna be hard years down the road. i would take it alllll back and not start doing any of it. it turns from "just one time trying it" to "i promise this is the last time" but all honestly i dont know how to stop or be normal in this world sober anymore.

and to sum it alllll up i just want / need someone who can hug me and tell me that im not as worthless as i think i am i feel so fucking empty sometimes and its so exhausting to feel nothing and everything at the same time.

[fataleefemmee]

him

i sound selfish when i sit here and type that im feeling some sort of lonesome when im not with him.. i have to wait five days to feel him on a more emotional, intimate level and i cant take it most days.. when im craving his hands on every inch of my body. i see him every day, and kiss him every night, but its not enough... i need more, i need him in so many ways it makes me feel so weak not being wrapped up in his bed naked with him. i long for his lips on mine.. both of mine.

on our night i just went straight to his house, i couldnt think of anything other than being in his bed waiting for him and being submissive for him. i waited on his bed in sheer lingerie until he came home.. i couldnt take it anymore, i needed him all over me the second he came into the house. he immediately got ontop of me and i instantly was wa soaking wet just from his lips on mine. i knew he was feeling it to because he had to go down on me to calm himself down. i never stop him when he does, but i couldnt take him being down there any longer and not being inside of me. he had to pause several times because it was to intense for him, so i took my time and brought him to his couch, where he bends me over from the front and fucks me so deeply. its such a state of euphoria in that moment, every being in my body is on a different planet, my mind is everywhere and anywhere but where it needs to be, i feel him in every part of me, i swear i could be in that state for the rest of my life and never compain. this is how he hooks me. i cant leave when he makes me feel this way. i lose all senses of myself when he holds me there. he grabs me by my hands and picks me up to walk me back to his bed, i watch him in the mirror as he holds me so effortlessly.

i begged him to finish in me. begged. i needed him so much more. after things calmed down we talked like we normally do until we picked it back up again, then he fucked me even slower, and then from the back until i felt like i was going to black out. when he flipped me back on my back and held my throat, i looked him right in his eyes and i swore i could mentally hear him say it. i wanted him to say it, i wanted to feel him say it. he knows im feeling it. i know he is i can just feel it. so say it. he wont because of his situation.

three words. say it.

i cant keep being this vulnerable in this position with him. he fucks me in such a way, its not even fucking, he makes me feel like im the only girl hes ever wanted to have sex with..

saturday during the day he had his bday party to attend for her, but he knows i know we spoke about this being the last thing he does for her, he knows im getting annoyed. we spoke about it on monday night and i told him i felt our fridays have been different lately and he was asking me what i meant by that but i wouldnt tell him. i dont like being vulnerable with him. i dont like being vulnerable in general. but fuck i want him in such a way that ive never wanted anyone else before.

[alonelymidwestdreamer]

fuckin peachy

———

i really thought i could do it

i dont know why

well, no

fuck that

i do know why

i thought i could get my shit together, finally, because people are supporting me

because im not keeping myself in a shitty relationship

because im forcing myself to sit with just myself and learn to be ok with that

because im trying to be a good person

because i was making fucking progress

i was taking steps

someone, maybe everyone, is gonna say that progress isnt linear

but have you ever been forced off road after just getting off a detour, just getting used to a nice straight highway

it doesnt still feel like progress

in fact, it feels like why not take another drink, why not feel good instead of crying over a cancellation

it feels like why not pick that pocket knife back up, why not take a hammer to your knuckles till theyre all purple

why not see if that one girl you ruined ur life for over and over finally has u unblocked

it doesnt feel like progress

it feels like derailment

im losing my fucking mind

ive been watching this show

its sadder than hell but i can’t stop watching it

it reminds me of that girl who i, yk, ruined my life over

she was a pisces

it reminds me of her because it reminds me of all the trauma she sat through with me

it reminds me of being homeless and of my parents fights and my fights with my parents and just

everything

it reminds me of things i buried pretty damn deep

this show triggers the fuck out of me

i cant sit with myself reliving this shit, but she sat through all that with me as it happened

she was the only constant in my life for so many years

but me wanting to get better was the breaking point

that was the line

we used to scream at each other

shed trigger me on purpose when i made her mad

how fucked up is that

but when i wanted to fix myself, when i wanted to create a life that could hold her and i both in it without all the fucking anger

that was that

she still has me blocked

i havent told almost anyone, although now youll all know, but i made a new account, just to try to talk to her

when someones in ur life for so long and so deeply it just feels wrong when they leave

or maybe thats just me

i hadnt talked to her in like two years?

i just wanted to know what her life looks like now

she did not believe that

and shes still mad at me

ig i never realized she ruined her life over me too

when i asked how she was she said “what are you drunk or something?”

i really thought i could do it, i thought i could be ok

i just wanna get drunk

all the time

i wish i was drunk when i messaged her

i wish she was right

i wished a little too hard ig cuz i did start drinking again

i keep pretending its not all i think about

its not that serious, cant be

if it was that serious someone would notice right?

being drunk doesnt even feel great anymore

but if im gonna fuck up by just existing, at least i get an excuse if im shitfaced

i tried so hard

i mean im still trying

but every day i get closer to doing it again and again and again

isnt that embarrassing?

i dont like it, i dont want to

i just also dont like me very much

and who would even care

no one noticed the first time until i told them, i think honestly everyone preferred me buzzed all the time until they knew thats what it was

no one knew i was overdosing in bledsoes room either tho

sitting behind keleah in college algebra trig

the room spinning so violently i thought i was dying

i guess i was dying technically

after, i sat in the rose garden with someone and tried to breathe

i walked my siblings home

i thought i was gonna die

no one even knew

i went home and threw up four or five times

i threw up so much i thought i was gonna suffocate cuz i couldnt catch a breath

my mom didnt even ask why i threw up

so at least its just drinking again

and its not as frequent anyways

fuck i really was doing so good

i swear i was

[ohwonzs]

If it’s possible two nsb reactions? Nsb reaction to you being a baddie and nsb reaction to you being a gamer god/godess/royalty. love your writing btw 💕

(sorry if I took a lot, hope you like anyways<3)

𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙨/𝙤 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖 𝙜𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙧🎮

PAIRING(S):: nsb x reader

GENRE(S):: soft/fluff, reaction, req

W.C:: 0.9k

WARNING(S):: none

NOT CHECKED TWICE

AU:: hi everyone im back!! Sorry for being dry, but i was on vacation and I’ve also done a few things so I didn't have so much time to post, sorry:// Anyways hope you enjoy! <3

🎮 | Oliver

So, Oliver doesn't play video games that much as the other ones do, but I don't think that would be a big deal if his s/o was a gamer. Of course he’d rather spend time with you as much as possible, so he might interrupt and distract you from your games, but I don’t think he’d turn it into a big problem, yk. “Babe can we go out?” “Babe i want your attention, you’ve been playing for 2 hours straight now” and ofc, as a good simp, you would stop playing and start giving attention to your boyfriend. He’s a really sweet guy, he would do anything for you, so when you’d ask him to play valorant with him, he’d hesitate at first but accept it. He looks so cute while sitting between your legs, with you behind him explaining and helping him with the game I'M SOBBING.

🎮 | Kane

Kane doesn't really mind, tbh. I think he’d just lay on his bed and watch anime till you’re done playing. Otherwise, he’d watch you playing and try to learn more from you. “OMG HOW DID U DO THAT” “Damn my girl is a pro AHAHA” bet he would say things like this. I think he’d also try to challenge you “We all know i am going to win, come on” then lose IM LAUGHING SO HARD PLS- as we all know, he hates losing even tho he always do LMAO so i think he’d get “mad” at you for laughing and making fun of the words the said earlier. Just know that everything has a consequence, so be ready for a revenge cuz this boy ain't letting you rest

🎮 | Justin

Oh lord, Justin won't leave you alone, especially after you started playing valorant. He’d ask you to play with him whenever you both are free, it’s so cute of him😭 “Fuck y/n did you train or something? How come you are beating me at killing??” He’d start bragging about how good you are at playing and this shit. Probably you would go to one of those computer cafeterias for some gaming date or to relax after watching a movie or sum. Just go play with him when u can, he loves to see your concentrate face while u play HE IS SO CUTE PLEASE

🎮 | Regie

He wouldn't believe you at first, but after you showed him your skills at playing valo, he immediately changed his mind. I dont think he plays valo that much, but Dota, so he’d probably ask you to play with him. If you dont know how to play it, he’ll teach you how to do it. Same as Oliver, but this time you are sitting on his legs while he leads your hands on the mouse and keyboard. You’d get excited because you are slowly learning and he cant help but giggle and smile while thinking about how cute you are. The urge to punch him for being so pretty and adorable damn it

🎮 | Ryan

So, as we know way too damn well, Ryan is a gamer, so bet he’d be more than happy to have a partner who’s too. He would ask you to join him to play valorant together. Ofc you’d play other games too, like Fall Guys or League of Legends, but he just finds it so cute how competitive you become while playing. You two would yell so loud that even the neighbors would come to your place to complain abt it LMAOAOAOAO DEF ME. It seems all cute but man don't be fooled by his rbf, ryan could get pissed if u win the game PLS💀💀 “Babe what’s wrong?” “Nothing sigh” you can clearly tell he is pissed so let him win the game so mf doesn't complain that much😭😭😭 He’d probably download and buy more games just for you to play together AWWW MY BABY

🎮 | Darren

As much as he likes playing video games, I don't think Darren plays that much tbh, but still he thinks it’s really cool that his s/o is a gamer. Like Justin, he’d probably go around and brag abt u being a gamer. Sometimes he’d look at you while playing, but usually he prefers lying down and putting his head on your tights while looking at his phone. BIG ASS HEAD BEING SO CUTE HELP After you are done playing he’d probably take you out for an ice cream or something. Make sure to give him a lot of attention tho, or mf will interrupt you in the middle of the game to kiss your lips fight me darren🤺

🎮 | Sebastian

Like Oliver and Darren, Seb doesnt play that much, maybe less than Darren, but still it doesnt bother him if you were a gamer. He’d let you play as much as you want, and while you do so, he’d work or watch Netflix. “What game is this? Oh I've never played it before, can I try?” such a cUTIEEEEE CRYING He can be annoying as HELL sometimes, but he just loves you a lot, and he wants to keep you as close as possible because you are his first partner (cap), or at least he considers you as it. He be trying to interrupt your game but fails miserably, like many Kane’s pranks😭😭😭 Sometimes you are too focused on your game, that you dont even notice that he went for a motorcycle ride like 2 hours ago 😭 PLEASE THIS IS SO ME💀💀

[octuscle]

You are worried about your friend. He has said that he has to take care of his family for the first few days of the new year. But that he would be in touch by Epiphany at the latest. But you just don't hear from him. No call, no WhatsApp message, no new post on TikTok, Instagram or even in your WhatsApp status. Silence. On January 8, you can't take it anymore. You call him. But it goes straight to voicemail. Does he have no network? Is the battery flat? Or has he blocked you? You go through the pictures on his Instagram account. Mostly motifs that he has tattooed on customers. Or subtle landscape shots. The skyline backlit by the setting sun. You miss him so much that it hurts. "big_country_boy_230, who you might know, is on Instagram". A strange message… What do you have to do with any hillbillies? Take a look at the profile… A beefcake who posts selfies in pigsties and in front of cotton fields. A picture of a man. You know that face from somewhere. But above all, you know the tattoos!!!!!! Bloody hell!!!!!!

"Honey, what happened to you!"

"bruh, dope tht ur getting in boop! ive a new cell ph1 and didnt have ur # anymor."

"Why are you calling me bruh? And what have you done to your body?"

"totally sick, rite? i tilt every 1 of dat bois @ arm wrestling. And whoever loses gets fucked."

He sends you a dick pic. A magnificent piece of meat. But he was circumcised. Still, you can't help it, you have to get your cock out and wank.

"i bet ur wanking rn"

Can he read minds? "Bruh, who wouldn't" Why are you writing "bruh" now?

"when r u getting off werk? cud use a tite ass 2 fucc."

You're a few hundred kilometers away. Uh… A few miles away. "I'm about to call it a day here. But before you fuck that ass, I'm going to pump my body again"

"sicc shit, bruh. I still have a calf 2 give birth 2 her. After tht ill show u how calves r made."

You wipe your oily hands on the dirty cloth in your back pocket. No more customers are coming today anyway. And you can still finish off the Millers' tractor tomorrow.

"hehehe, i cant w8, u bull!"

It sucks that you have to work out alone today. Otherwise your bruh could have shown you how to sire calves in the shower. But this way you save yourself the shower after training. And drive straight to the farm in your monster pickup. You arrive just in time. The calf sucks greedily on its mother's teats. Your friend is washing his forearms and taking off his rubber gloves when he sees you coming into the barn. He grins. And puts the gloves back on. You can only hope that he has enough milking grease to hand.

Pic found @hornyalphastuds

Every year around new years my family always gets on my case about how I don’t have a “real job” (I’m an intern) and this year my dad gave me an ad for some stupid farm job. I’m only going to get my dad off my back, right?

Every year around New Year's Eve, my family makes fun of me for not having a "real job" (I'm an intern), and this year my dad gave me an ad for a stupid farm job. I'm just going to get my dad off my back, right?

It wouldn't be so bad if your dad didn't challenge you to arm wrestling like he does every year. You're a graphic designer. Some of your pencils are thicker than your upper arms. But you do your old man's bidding as usual. Actually, your whole stay here with the family is one big humiliation. It doesn't matter anymore. Your father rolls up his sleeve. You roll up your sleeve. You put your fists together. And your father starts to sweat. So are you, but you have the advantage. Veins pop on your tense muscles. Your fashionable black T-shirt loses its sleeves. It turns a washed-out gray. Sweat stains form under your hairy armpits. You love watching your father suffer. "So, ode man? Reddy fahwar chur destruction?" You increase the pressure a little. Your father's eyeballs bulge with exertion. And then you release him and smash his arm on the tabletop. "Not bayud fahwar sumone who draws fahwar uh livin' in thuh big city, hiduhnit?" you say with a grin. Your father chastises that he has to apologize, working as a tattoo artist obviously wouldn't be bad for you. You grin again and make his artfully decorated pecs dance. You shake your father's hand and say that you'll give him a chance next time. But now you have to get to your vacation job. Your neighbor's stable won't muck itself out.

Yes, you're a big city kid. But sometimes life in the country isn't so bad. Give it a chance!

Pic found @militarymenrbomb

[shirmxie]

this can't be!

7 unfamiliar but not entirely unwelcomed

↣6 ..you can come  ↬m.list  ↣8 tba

you hadn't expect this much from ayaka since its just a small party with your friends and also its just to congratulate your defeat. now that you think of it, that's kind of cruel but who are you to complain for a party anyways! plus your pocket wont be emptied since your friend would be the one who takes care of all the funds. perks of being childhood friends with the rich kid.

everyone gets comfy inside the limo as venti started "i cant believe were riding a limo to names "congrats to losing party"! its literally so random..", "you can all thank me for having that idea mwehehe!" hu tao gave a proud smile to all of you, "yeah but your pocket isn't the one funding this idea of yours dumbass." hu tao just glared at xiaos words.

as your friends start to converse with each other, you just stayed quiet, thinking, thinking about anything and everything as someone pokes your cheeks; which startled you. you turn your head to look at the culprit only to see heizou besides you with a grin, ah you forgot he was coming with.

"you're all over your pretty head again, cmon just enjoy the ride." he gets close to your ears and whispers, it sends shivers down your spine as he chuckled. my pretty head? pretty..? you were really red. he looks away from you, not waiting for you to answer as he chatted with aether.

all of you arrived at the bar as one by one of you step out the ride, making sure not to trip. but still, you almost tripped since you're really inside your head even deeper after heizou said that. xingqiu grabbed your arm as he talks "nameee! you're really distracted are you? just ignore the thoughts for tonight and enjoy," "its difficult.. but sure i'll try i guess." you frowned, knowing that you've been trying to ignore your thoughts for the whole ride but still failing.

venti grabbed your face with both his hands "why are you so sad name? cmon lets go inside and drink, drink your thoughts away!" he tries to make you smile, you did anyways. you just realized that one of ventis friends didn't come with all of you in the limo, "venti, your friend, kazuha, why isn't he with us?" "ohh he said your cousin borrowed his moms car so they'll be coming together!" borrow? he probably stole it.

you were drinking as you heard the door bell, looking to see a pair of oh so familiar purple eyes; which you subconsciously glared at. he found your eyes and he grinned. this piece of shit. you were about to charge at him as you tripped on your own feet, you're already a bit tipsy just by 1 bottle of beer.

"hello rat, congrats to losing by the way, loser." "shut the fuck up bitch boy. don't talk to me like that after skipping all your classes." the both of you glared at each other as kazuha pulled him aside, "good evening name! i didn't expect for the both of you to be so against each other," venti butted in to pull you away as he says "if only you saw how they fought as kids, archons it felt like the whole house was a war zone!"

ayaka randomly popped up besides you to greet kazuha and his boyfriend "hello kazuha, hello kunikuzushi. also yes, they fight like wild dogs when we were still kids hahaha," scaramouche only rolled his eyes on the name 'kunikuzushi'. "babe lets go." he pulls kazuha away from the three of you. "god i still hate his guts." venti whispered, "i couldn't agree more..!" you whispered back as ayaka only giggled at the both of you.

after a few rounds of drinks, you decided to go to the restroom to reapply your lipstick since it smudged; unknowing that heizou was trailing behind you. you were about to go in as you feel a hand on your shoulders. you look up to see heizou yet again. "helloo! how's the loser doing?" he grinned. he didn't mean to come out as rude but you're mind was fuzzy and you can't think straight.

"c-can you stop being so full of yourself just 'cause you won! you- i do.. ugh.. i don't even know why i invited you..! maybe out of pity but-" you slurred on your words a bit as you continued, leaving him shocked at your sudden outburst, "maybe its better if i hadn't invited you.. your presence it- it annoys me!".

you don't know why you said that, you never minded when you lost, especially to him. what's wrong with you exactly? this isn't like you. you realized what you said and regretted your words almost instantly when you see him frown, "i.. i apologize, i never thought you felt that way, i'll leave." you felt a pang of guilt when he started to walk away.

"w.. wait no sorry! i'm sorry! i-i didn't mean it! its just- i've been in my mind a lot, i don't know what's gotten into me-" you started to ramble as you grabbed his wrist, he looked at you sadly. you felt really really guilty now, he just wanted to joke with you.. this grabs the attention of yours and his friends as they started to watch the scene they're witnessing. they only looked now since you apologized so loud even the planets across the universe could hear you

he sighed looking at your figure apologizing again and again, obviously feeling guilty. he doesn't know why but he just pats your head. it startles you and everyone looking at the both of you. "its fine, you've had a lot to drink. you should reapply your lipstick tho, not that i'm complaining! you look pretty with smudged lipstick anyways." he smiles as he succeeds to lighten up your mood a bit.

now its your turn to be shocked. you felt something inside you, its unfamiliar but not entirely unwelcomed. your friends started to coo at the both of you as you rushed inside the restroom, catching your breath. what's wrong with me?

you didn’t mind losing to your long time academic rival but somethings off about you lately…

taglist: open, send ask or reply

— @stanshizuki

an: i wrote this under 3 hours and its so short and bad.. im so sorry. also school is being a bitch to me rn so i cant update frequently

[thefanficmonster]

Interesting Encounters

Corpse Husband *& Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Paranoia and Fear of Invasion of Privacy

Genre: FLUFF, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Corpse has an interesting run-in with his regular delivery girl, having the chance to talk to her for the first time despite her having been delivering to his door for months. It’s a big step in overcoming his anxiety and paranoia when talking to strangers.

Requested by Anon. Hi darling! Thank you so much for your wonderful request! Hope you come across the final product of your request and give it a read and if so I hope you like it! Sorry for the wait, I hope it was worth it though! Love, Vy ❤

It’s a regular Monday morning, close to 10AM and Corpse’s face is practically glued to the sound editing app he’s downloaded, playing around with some cool effects to add to his voice in the background of the new song he’s been working on. He hasn’t been able to sleep a wink thanks to the immense excitement, not that he would’ve been able to regardless, but the tune and the lines have been stuck in his head all throughout the weekend and he knows they’ll be bothering him until he turns them into something other people will be able to listen and give an opinion on as well. So far he’s done plenty of work but there’s plenty more to go until it’s done. He’s at that point he usually needs feedback and wants to ask for it but would rather not to avoid either too harsh judgement or fake praise.

He slides the headset off, deciding to take a break for the sake of his sanity before he drives himself to insanity with the intensity of his focus on this new piece. His brain just so conveniently sends him a reminder that his groceries are probably waiting for him outside the door. He has, as of the last half a year or so, had someone deliver his groceries to him to avoid trips to the grocery store with both the whole pandemic situation and the growth of following which translates to growth of the risk of him getting recognized. That’s the main reason - and maybe the only one - as to why he doesn’t interact with the people who deliver to him either. He always gives his delivery person the instruction to leave whatever he’s ordered at the doorstep and if it’s not takeout to not even ring the doorbell. 

That being said, the deliverer of his groceries doesn’t ring the doorbell to give him the kind reminder to be responsible, but luckily he hasn’t forgotten to collect them yet in the six months he’s been practicing this delivery technique.

Going to the front door and looking out of the peephole, he confirms there are several full plastic bags waiting to be picked up on the mat. With the person who brought them not in sight, Corpse unlocks the door and steps out to bring in the groceries for the week. Taking them to the kitchen, he unpacks the goods in the three bags. At first glance he would’ve been fooled, seeing as how it seems that all he has ordered is there. But, each Monday, he receives exactly four bags of groceries. One is missing. He rolls his eyes thinking he didn’t see it outside and left it there while he was hurriedly collecting the rest so he gets up to go grab it real quick.

While in the meantime...

Y/N looks through the remainder of bags in her minivan, making a route in her head for what roads and shortcuts she can take to deliver the last of the groceries to the respective homes they need to be taken to. Upon looking through them, however, she sees a bag labeled ‘MM’ that she uses short for ‘Mystery Man’, aka the guy who never opens the door to greet her whenever she delivers him anything. She works for several delivery services such as takeout, groceries, clothes even and has delivered to that apartment hundreds of times but has never met the resident, giving her the right to call him Mystery Man, aka ‘MM’.

“Ah, shit.“ She mumbles under her breath, realizing she failed to grab the fourth bag when on her way up to MM’s apartment.

Coming to terms with the fact that she’ll have to lose another five minutes going back up to his floor, she grabs the bag and takes off running back inside the building and up the stairs, deciding it would be quicker than taking the elevator.

Just as she arrives to the floor, heading straight for the door, it opens, freezing her in her tracks as her eyebrows shoot up.  At the doorstep stands a guy with an eye patch who looks more surprised and maybe even a little terrified than her. Taking in that Mystery Man is not such a mystery anymore, she returns to her professionalism, remaining at a distance and outstretching the hand holding the bag towards him.

“Sorry, forgot to drop this one off as well, I’m a bit all over the place today.“ She says in her most professional voice.

Corpse too regains his composure and takes the handed bag from Y/N gloved hand. Before he can think twice about it he says, “Thanks, uh...”

“Y/N.“ She says, “I’ve delivered to you countless times, it’s funny you don’t know my name but it’s to be expected since I’ve never seen you. This would be a good time to tell me your name so I don’t have to call you Mystery Man anymore.“ She laughs, cutting her own laughter off barely a second later when she realizes what she’s said, “Oh, fucking shit...”

Corpse chuckles, clear amusement in the sound, “Mystery Man? Interesting, interesting. If I ever become a superhero I’ll make sure to pick that name.” He fails to even pay mind to the fact that he’s spoken a lot more than he’d usually feel comfortable with.

Y/N laughs a little awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck, “Yeah, sorry about that. I promise to come up with a better one if you’re not willing to tell me your real one. Like....Pirate, for example?” she suggests, raising her shoulders.

He can’t help but let out a laugh, “You’d be surprised, but my name is not so far from your mark. It’s, um....” He’s not looking forward to the judgmental look or the questions he might receive in response to his statement but he succumbs to the expected disappointment, “My name’s Corpse.”

Surprisingly, she just smiles - a smile he cannot see due to the surgical mask she’s wearing but the crinkle at the corners of her eyes gives it away. “Cool! Well, I better get going then.”

Just as she turns to head for the elevator this time, seeing as she’s still out of breath from the run up the stairs, Corpse gets an idea he’d probably not be too fond of if he gave himself time to think it over. Which is exactly why he didn’t.

“Hey!“ He calls after her, gaining her attention immediately, causing her to turn around, “You got a minute? I need a little help with something...“

Y/N’s eyebrows raise a little, a moment before she shrugs her shoulders, “Meh, I’m already behind schedule, what’s an extra minute gonna do?” And just like that, they strut their way back towards his apartment.

He can’t help but chuckle, taking the opportunity to crack a joke, “This is how people often get killed. You don’t just walk into a stranger’s apartment like that.”

She scoffs as she passes the threshold, “Believe it or not, you can learn a lot about a person based on the groceries they buy. And trust me buddy, you’re not a murderer.” Earning herself a laugh and a nod with that remark, she continues, “You do appear to be an artist with all the cheap food you’re buying though.”

Corpse laughs yet again, a hint of nervousness is sensed in his laugh this time around though, “Yeah, well, I don’t know if you’re still gonna call me an artist when you hear this song I’ve been working on. Not even out of the box yet.”

Y/N stops in her tracks, “Well, well, well, aren’t I honored to be one of the lucky people hearing this before its release.”

“The first hearing it before its release.“ He corrects her with a pointed look, not missing the excitement that arose in her eyes.

“Let’s hear it then!“

Of all the friendship stories that exist, no one can say this ain’t a unique one.

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[sukunasfourtheye]

Late Night Texts- Eren x reader

Minors DNI, 18+ Adult Content 🔞

Masterlist

Summary: It’s midnight, you’re kinda tipsy, and you text your friend Eren.

Warnings: Smut smut smut, minors DNI. This is pure pure fucking filth. Yoinks.

Contains: swearing, sexting/texting, sexting turned to FaceTime sex/phone sex, dirty talk, ‘good girl” used multiple times, masturbation

Words: 1.2k

Note from the author: I personally have such a thing for phone sex/sexting so much so this is a personal fav gahhhhhh. I debated this being a Levi or Eren fic but feel like Levi would literally just get up and go to your house and wouldn’t have the patience for sexting LOL so Eren it was

———————*~*~*~*~—————-*~*~*~*~*~————

>>> heeeeeeey haha whats upp

Eren raised an eyebrow as he glanced down at your text. Hmm, he thought. Kinda late. He squinted at the clock on his night stand that read 12:31am.

> Sup 

Probably just bored, he thought. He hit send, and not even 15 seconds later his phone *dings* again.

>>> nothing hahaha kinda tipsy but oh well

He hated to admit it, but he felt a small flutter in his chest reading your reply. You’d been friends for a while, but he never picked up on any flirty vibes from you, but drunk texting at midnight? Hmm...

> Fun. Did you go out?

>>> yeah clubbing with sashaaaa haha so fun:) you shoulda caaaaaame

Ok, this is definitely flirty, he thought. The thought of you in a tight dress, all dolled up, swaying on a dancefloor....phew.

> Damn, yeah I should’ve come. Would’ve been fun seeing you.

He hesitates, thinking he’s definitely breaching into flirty territory with this one. He thinks, fuck it before he presses send.

His phone *dings* and he sees the text preview on his home screen:

>>> [y/n] sent you a snap!

>>> now you see me :)

His excitement started to grow as he saw the Snapchat and text double notification on his screen. Despite himself, he felt his cock twitch in his boxers, and he reflexively reached his hand down to start to rub himself lazily.

He opens the Snapchat notification.

It’s a video of you laying in bed, your phone held up at arms length, smiling with your tongue sticking out playfully. You were wearing a strapless v-neck leather top and tight black pants, your face alight with glittery makeup and a clear drunken stupor. Your smile was radiant.

Fuck, she’s hot, he thought. His hand had a mind of it’s own and started to rub himself through his pants, with a bit more purpose now. He groaned, shifting his hips up at his own contact. He replayed the video, stroking himself.

>>> replayed my video? ;)  

Whoops. He forgot you get notified if he replays your video. He goes to at first make an excuse (”whoops my bad”) but instead decides against it. Fuck it shes drunk maybe she’ll forget it, he thought. He hesitates, but presses send:

> Yeah, damn you look good

Why did i just send that. The tension of seeing you typing back made him even hornier, letting out another groan as his dick began hardening under his boxers.

>>> reaaaally? :) youre not too bad yourself ;)

 Oh yes. It’s showtime. 

> So that’s why you’re texting me so late. Just wanted a little attention?

> Yeah, you’re low key hot as fuck

There’s a long pause as he’s waiting for you to reply, terrified he fucked it up and went too far.

Then....you sent a voice note. He hit play:

>>> “Mmmmm... I wish you were here right now.”

Your voice is almost a moan, going straight to his dick. Fuck, she wants it. That’s so hot. His hands go inside his boxers and frees his now fully hard cock, giving it a few pumps as he does. Before he can even respond, another *ding* makes his cock twitch.

>>> Attached: Image

It’s a picture of you leaning forward towards the camera, giving a clear shot down your cleavage as you looked up at him, a mischievous smile on your lips, biting your tongue

> Pretty girl. Tease.

>>> im not teaaaasing i actually want to fuck you :p

The blunt text you sent made him gasp, his dick hot in his hands as he worked himself. 

> You’ve got a filthy fucking mouth

>>> you can make it filthier if you want ;)

Fuck. His throws his head back jerks himself faster, before stopping to squeeze the base of his cock. Fuck I want her to suck me so bad. Before he even registers what he’s doing, he hits the “Facetime” button to call you.

>>> [y/n] is unavailable for FaceTime

He groans in frustration. Fuck, i wanna see her.... she really is a fucking tease.

>>> we cant facetime right now im doing naughty thingssssss 

>>> this convo is making me crazzyyyy shhh

> Good. That’s a good girl.

>>> *Incoming Facetime call from [y/n]*

Too easy, he thinks. He chuckles as he swipes open the call. The camera is angled at the ceiling, the room dimmed. 

He chuckles into the phone. “All I had to say was ‘good girl’ and suddenly you calling me now, huh?”, he says, cocky as all hell. 

“Hmmm....”, he hears you say, drawing out the ‘mmm’ suspiciously. 

“Hmmmmm?” he questions back, mimicking you. “What’re you doing right now, [y/n]?”

“M’, Ummmmm, nothing....” he hears you say faintly, innocently, phone still pointed at the ceiling. He thought he was imagining it at first, but he can barely hear the sound of fabric shuffling and shifting on your end. 

“Nothing? Doesn’t sound like nothing, pretty girl”, he teases, stoking his now leaking cock. He sighed heavily on purpose, suggestively, making sure you heard him.

“What’re you doing right now?” you asked lightly, breathlessly.

He feels himself starting to slowly lose his restraint when he hears your breathy voice. “If I tell you, will you tell me?”, he grumbled, panting obviously now, loudly and into the phone, clearly out of breath from the effort of jerking himself off, hard

He hears you sigh, the sound of shuffling fabric getting louder. He hears you shift in bed. “Yes”, you say.

Through obvious gasps, he grills you: “You promise you gonna tell me what you’re doing, hmm, baby? You gonna tell me what you’re doing after you made me so fucking hard for you?”

He hears you moan loudly now, obviously meant for him to hear, panting.

“I’m stroking my fucking dick right now, that’s what I’m doing. I’m thinking about bending you over and fucking you stupid” he moans in unison with you, hearing himself admit it making him feel even dirtier

“Are you touching yourself, [y/n]? Your pussy wet for me? Hmm?” He hears your high-pitched moan and your body shift quickly in your bed.

“Use your words, I wanna hear that pretty little mouth say my fucking name”, he commands, heat flushing his face. 

“Ung! - Eren...ugh....” you finally mewl, sounding just as desperate as he was to cum

“Fuck i wanna stuff my cock in your mouth so fucking bad, [y/n]” he moans, babbling off strings of dirty talk, barely able to catch his breath as he gets closer and closer. “You’re a naughty little girl aren’t you? Were you touching your pussy while you were texting me? Hmmm? Dirty girl. You wanted me to make you cum, yeah?  You thinking about my dick fucking into that messy little pussy? I wanna hear you say it you needy little---ahhh! fuck. speak to me.” 

You finally break your silence: “Ugh, Eren, ah!-- you’re gonna make me--fuck, you’re gonna make me--!”

Fuck

He lets out a string of swear words, cursing through both your orgasm and his: “ah, fuck thats such a good fucking girl yes, cum for me baby, cum on daddys cock, cum on this fucking cock babe, uuung...!”

As you both catch your breath from the thrill that just ran through both your bodies, he pants “That....was hot”. 

“Yeah”, he hears you say, the camera finally moving away from the ceiling and onto you. You looked dazed, a thin sheen of sweat smudging your makeup. Still, a satisfied smiled was painted on your pretty face. “You’re so hot. Wow. I haven’t cum that hard in a long time. Next time you’ll have to come over?”

“See you then, princess”

[crescentsteel]

Keeping a Secret - Part 13

pairing: Tsukishima x f!manager of Sendai Frogs genre: fluff, crack, slow burn, sexual tension, angst, smut wc: 5.4k

[a/n]

First and foremost, I want to thank everyone who donated in my tip jar. To be honest, I didn’t think anyone would. I was so surprised by the amount of love and support. 

I used it to give my beta lil gift for her hard work. 

AND YES, LOOK AT THE NEW HEADER. I commissioned an artist so we can get a softer Tsukki since a new arc has begun. He looks freaking good. I can’t. skanifefwq

AO3 link is at the masterlist’s page for those who want to read there.

Keep on supporting me if you can. Here’s my tip jar. Forever in need of alms.

Part 12 || Part 14 || masterlist  

He quickly changes his shirt and walks out the locker room. His strides are long as he reaches for his phone. He hears Kogane call him but he can’t even spare his teammate a glance. He only waves once then continues treading distraughtly out of the gymnasium. 

He presses your number and puts his phone against his ear as he heads for the bus station leading to your dormitory.

He didn’t see this coming at all, not even a hint that you were leaving. If he knew this was going to happen, he wouldn’t have waited. He was only able to wait because he knew… No -- He thought that you’d always be there the next morning where he expects you to be, helping out his teammates, conversing with Coach, or training the new manager. 

The alarming thought of your permanent absence not only bothers him... 

It terrifies him. 

He was convinced that he has at least some time to sort out the tangles of perplexity with his feelings for you, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. As always, you have the last say in the issue at hand, but unlike before, there might not be a next time for him to get back at you. It’s usually irritating but at present, there’s nothing but trepidation in him. 

He sees the bus arrive from afar. He grits his teeth then starts walking briskly. However, the rancid unpleasantness in his thoughts worsens when he imagines the bus leaving. He’ll lose his mind waiting for the next one so he makes a run for it with his phone still pressed against his ear. 

‘The number you dialed is either in a place where signal cannot reach, or has no battery, so your call cannot be connected.’

Fuck. 

Even though his dash is only a short distance, he huffs heavily as he boards the bus. His sudden sprint is exacerbated by his frantic distress, making him catch his breath as he sits on the closest available seat. 

Not even a minute after he gets on, the bus leaves. He made the right call to go after it before it even showed signs of leaving. 

If only he did the same with you. Then he wouldn’t have to experience this panic-stricken chase.

He’s tried calling you four times, but he hears the same thing.  He yanks his phone down from his ear and sends consecutive texts one after the other in hopes that at least one will reach you. 

‘Where arr yoy?’

‘I cant call did somethimg happeb?’

‘Y/n?’

He doesn’t bat an eye at the typographical errors anymore. He just wants to send as many as he can as fast as he can. 

‘Im on teh way ther.’

‘Call mw whrn you see my mssages’

After that last message, he looks out the window and tries to hush the pandemonium ensuing in his head. What’s the best solution to the problem at hand? He’s called, he texted, and he’s on his way to your place. What else?

He harshly tips his head back on his seat as he shuts his eyes close before his head hurts. He hates the obvious answer - waiting. He doesn’t want to wait. The wait is eating him up viciously. 

He sits up straight and looks at his phone again. Shit, the characters are a little blurry and difficult to read clearly. He doesn’t like looking at his phone while in a moving vehicle. It makes him dizzy. The first few messages already took a toll on him,

Still, he can disregard the discomfort for he’d rather squint than wait and do nothing. He opens his contacts and dials your number. Before he presses the call button, he notices the slight tremor on his thumb.

He places his phone on his lap and clasps his hands together instead.

He didn’t realize that he’s this bothered just thinking about you leaving for good. It never occurred to him that you’d quit the team. He knows that someday you’re most likely to. But not right now and not this abruptly.

‘She couldn’t say goodbye for personal reasons.’

What fuck does that mean? 

Did the call from the other night have something to do with it? Is it family-related? He’s never heard of them from you. But why couldn’t you at least say a proper farewell to the team? He knows they meant something to you. 

Unless it's because of a totally different reason.

Is it... him? No. That’s not possible. He’s been keeping his distance but he never asked you to leave. 

He lifts one hand to massage his temples while the other grips the arm seat. Did he push you too hard to make you want to quit? Is that it? He knows he’d been acting like a prick but he doesn’t think it would make you resign from your current role which you’re earnestly dedicated to.

He can’t imagine going to the gym and not seeing you there. You’re always there.

The ride couldn’t seem any slower with how his thoughts are tormenting him and the only thing that would silence them is you. 

He keeps his eyes on the road, counting how many blocks are left before the bus reaches your area. When he finally sees it, he stands up before the vehicle even stops. The driver gives him a side eye when he taps his foot impatiently as he waits by the door. 

He glares right back. Do drivers always wait this long before opening the damn door? Fucking hell.

As soon as it does, he gets off the bus and treads the street rapidly to get to your dormitory. The night breeze is cold but he can feel the droplets of sweat as he walks.

When he arrives at the building, the guard pays him no mind as he goes in right away. They probably still recognize him since he’s been a frequent visitor not too long ago.

As he gets closer to your room, his heart pounds harder. He’s not sure if it’s because of how fast his steps were or because of how agitated he is. By the time he makes it at your door, he can feel his temples throbbing. Nevertheless, he knocks. Exhausted and perturbed on the way there, his hand falls heavy on your door with each knock.

“Come on. Open up,” he hisses impatiently.

He knocks louder and with the lack of answer from you, he checks if the door is open. He turns the knob, the click of it opening up placates his fervid worry.

...Only for it to double when he sees the room dark and devoid of your presence.

He sees the double-deck bed frame right where it should be but it’s empty. Your messy pile of stuff isn’t there either. The room no longer smells like you. There’s nothing and no one there.

He can feel panic rising so fast that he has to consciously quell it and reason out with himself. He might have gotten the wrong room. He was in such a rush and he wasn’t thinking clearly. Dormitory rooms are structured similarly after all. He might’ve barged in some vacant room instead of yours. This is too drastic that it’s fucking incredulous. 

As he turns around to leave the vacant room, he catches something that halts him from going out. He harshly tilts his head to the upper right corner where he sees a disturbingly familiar object. He keeps his gaze on it as he slowly walks towards it, narrowing his eyes in the dimness to look closely. 

He gives his glasses a slight push to better his vision, hoping that he’s just mistaking it. Sadly, it only confirms that it is indeed what he thinks it is: it’s that crocodile stuffed toy that instantly reminded him of you when he saw it.

Initially, he was planning to give you a mug because of your borderline addiction to coffee. But the moment he saw the toy, he scrapped his plan and got the toy instead.

He extends his arm up and gets the green doll. As he holds it with two hands, he accidentally touches the trigger that sets off the recorded growls.

Has the sound been this loud when he bought it? Perhaps it’s the emptiness of the room that makes them louder than they seem.

He looks back and eyes the desolate room. It looks big without your cluttered pile of stuff. As his eyes drop to the floor where you two used to work on the projects, disbelief starts to dissipate and the reality begins to sink in.

You did not just leave. You disappeared.

He can try to contact you again but seeing this plush left alone in this dark room tells him that you do not want to be reached. Even though he didn’t get to talk to you, his relenting question on the way there has been answered. 

You left because of him. You left him. 

It’s haunting, being in your room without your scent, without your belongings, without any sign of you except this gift you were supposed to keep. 

When did you think of leaving? At what point did he push you too hard?

He’s trying to dull out the prickling pain that’s fulminating from every part of him you’ve touched, including his heart. 

It’s ironic that the reason he kept putting you off was so he would never experience what he’s feeling now. He doesn’t want to get hurt. He knows how immense his feelings are for you. He knows it too well that he tried to thwart it before it gets too overwhelming for him to control. He’s scared that if he let you in his impenetrable wall, you'd have the power to hurt him. 

How naive.

He thought he was able to restrain his feelings for you before it got out of hand. Only now does he realize that he never did. 

It’s ironic that your absence crumbles that very wall he kept up to protect himself. He didn’t let you but you forced your way in without him knowing. He knew that something was chipping on his guard so he tried to remove it. Little did he know that your presence that cracked his defenses was also the only one that’s holding it together. 

Now he’s with no one but himself as the agony seeps in. If only he didn’t hamper his feelings when it began to surface, if only he wasn’t such a coward, then at least you’d be here to guide him. It would still be scary, but at the very least, you would be here. He wouldn’t be having this overflowing surge of regret and raw heartache with not a single clue how to make it stop.

With the crocodile still in his hand, he slowly walks out of your room. He glances back as reaches for the doorknob. With the toy in his possession, your room is totally empty. It’s not your room anymore. It’s just a vacant space.

He has nothing else to do here so he goes out and slowly closes the door.

He hails a cab on the way home, needing the silence and privacy it offers. When he arrives home, he doesn’t bother waiting for his change from the driver and heads inside already. He disregards the need for dinner and goes up to his room immediately. 

He puts the plush beside his pillow then pulls up the chair on his desk and sits on it. To distract himself, he decides to read the museum’s guidelines and policies even though he’s gone over it a few times already. As he grabs the folder on his wall mounted shelf, he instantly sees the boxed figure you gave him. 

Without even meaning to, his hand grabs it instead of his papers and puts it on the surface of his desk. He sees the tampered seal and trifles it open once again. He takes it out of the blister then returns the box on his shelf. 

He plants his elbows on his desk then clasps his hands together to cover half of his face as he stares at the figure. 

As his eyes linger on it, he tries to grasp for his reasons on why he was so adamant to keep it inside that box. He wishes he didn’t know why. He wishes it remained a mystery because as he thinks about it, the more futile and pointless it all seemed.

-- 

Akiteru left the door of his room open because he wants to hear when his brother arrives. It’s none of his business and it’s his brother’s life, but he wants to know what happened between you and Kei. 

He was hoping that you two will patch things up but that doesn’t seem to be happening. For the past weeks, you never went back to their house again. Kei has been at home most of the time when he’s usually out even when it’s not in his schedule to train. 

Akiteru figures that Kei must have been going to your place during those days. But not anymore.

He knows his own brother. Kei would not spend so much time with you, even letting you celebrate graduation in their home if you did not mean so much to his brother. He was only waiting for Kei to break the news to everyone that you two are officially going out. He wasn’t expecting you’d storm out and not come back.  

On top of that, Kei dislocated a finger from the last game and is not allowed to play in what can be considered the most important match for the Frogs. Kei might look like he’s impassive and fine, but Akiteru knows better. 

When he hears the door from Kei’s bedroom open, he immediately puts his phone down and stands up to go there.

He’s expects the door to be closed but similarly from the night when you left, it’s slightly ajar. He sees Kei staring at one of the dinosaur displays except he hasn’t seen the one his brother is currently looking at. It’s probably that figure that he’s been keeping unopened.

Akiteru stands by the doorway then knocks twice with his knuckles.

Kei suddenly flinches and turns to face him abruptly. He’s about to apologize when he sees liquid pooling at the corner of his brother’s eyes even through the fog of Kei’s glasses. He must have realized it too because he suddenly veers away and tilts his head down. 

“Is it her?” Akiteru asks with a careful tone, hoping that he won’t be perceived as nosy but concerned.

He sees his brother take a deep breath before answering, but even then, Akiteru hears the thick angst in Kei’s voice as it rasps a little. “Yeah.”

Akiteru presses his lips together, fighting his own sentiments as the situations years ago reverses. He was in high school then, when Kei saw how something Akiteru loved ruined him because of his dedication to it. 

Now it’s his brother's turn. He’s uncertain which is the reason, you or the injury, but seeing Kei shed even just a tear lets Akiteru know that his brother cares about it more than he expected.

If Akiteru is honest, he was hoping that Kei could fully devote himself to something to get rid of the concealed guilt Akiteru is holding. He is aware that the effect of his lies from a long time ago are deeply seeded in his brother’s psyche. 

Kei has always been aloof but it was because of him, the older brother - the supposed role model, that made his younger sibling cold and guarded. It would’ve relieved Akiteru if Kei found something to sincerely care about even if it reaped no benefits for him. 

Akiteru saw the change in his brother when he joined Karasuno. That’s why he continued playing even in college. Karasuno taught Kei that it’s okay to care.

But he never truly let go, still holding reservations to serve as his security blanket.

Akiteru has been waiting for him to fall in love with something like he did with Volleyball.

Then his brother found you. 

However, unlike the sport, people are receptive. Unlike the sport which is just there for anyone to divulge themselves into any time they please, humans are not. People get fed up and when they do, they can choose to go.

Akiteru can only speculate based on what he’s witnessed and Kei’s current situation that you won’t be coming back.

He takes gentle strides towards Kei, not to say anything, but to give his brother two taps on the shoulder to silently let him know that it will be okay.

The older Tsukishima strongly sympathizes for his younger brother who’s only grasping at the straws from how novel this must be to him. 

Kei might not be weeping devastated on the floor like Akiteru was, but he knows the weight of the despair that’s hanging on his hurting brother. Despite that, Akiteru thinks it’s vital that this happens.

It hurts now but it will go as time passes by.

Experiencing pain this way is normal. If Kei is going through this anguish, that only means he cherished you just as immensely. That’s better than not having experienced it at all. 

As Akiteru feels the slight trembling of Kei’s shoulders, Akiteru removes his hand and goes out of the room. He gently closes the door behind him and gives his brother the privacy he needs.

—

Tsukishima is not supposed to come to practice today. It’s supposed to be his day to work out his lower body and plan his endurance training with the team’s fitness coach.

However, he still went because of the slight chance that you’d be there. He knows that it’s very unlikely that you’d just come back but there’s a possibility that you might change your mind about not saying goodbye. You might decide to drop by and see the team, even if it’s just for the last time. 

He knows you adore the team even if you ended up loathing him for his folly. 

“Tsukishima!”

He hears the telling voice of Coach who he’s absolutely certain is about to castigate him for not following her scheduled training days. Although, he is ready for it. He knows Coach will definitely say something, but he’s willing to accept whatever it is if it gives him the opportunity to see you.

“Didn’t I say you should be at the other gym today?” 

He meets her eyes then looks to his side before nodding. “Sorry. I forgot.” It’s a lame excuse but it’s really the best one he can come up with. He hears her sigh as she puts her hands on her hips. 

“I would send you out if it wasn’t so counterproductive.”

He lifts his gaze a little, waiting for her approval to let him stay and help with the blocking scheme again so he can be there in case you decide to come back. 

Like he predicted, she glances at the court where his teammates are doing their assigned drills. “Help Itsuki for today. But I better not be seeing you here again the next day. Got it?” she asks stringently as she gives him a scolding look again. She tips her head to the court and tells him, “Go run your laps first.”

He bows politely then goes inside the locker. He changes quickly so he doesn’t miss it in case you do arrive. He walks back to the court, still pulling the hem of his shirt down. As he jogs around the gym, his eyes keep darting on the entrance, hoping and waiting for your arrival. Even when he’s doing the blocking drill with his teammates, he can’t help but look at the main door. He should be giving up when the sun starts setting with still no sign of you, instead, he wishes for sunset to slow down and give you more time to appear. 

It doesn’t happen though. 

The training concludes with him watching Shiro lock up the gym. 

“U-umm.. Tsukishima-kun?” the new manager slowly turns to face him, half-confused and half-scared. “I-is there anything I can help you with?”

He shakes his head and makes up another lame excuse to stay a little longer. “I might have forgotten something inside.” She freezes on the spot then looks at the lock she’s holding. She visibly deflates as she turns to him again. “Do you need to check?” she asks even though she obviously wants to leave already. 

“No. It’s fine. I can check on the next training day,” he takes pity on her and lets up. He pockets his hands then starts walking away.

However, he does not attend the next training because Coach will probably take him to the fitness gym herself. When he comes back for his scheduled training day, he keeps an open ear for any news of you. If you did come to visit, his teammates would be talking about it or mention it at least once. 

But no one does, and he refuses to believe what it means. 

With no way to reach you, he waits until that day of the promotion match. You’ll be here. He’s sure of it. You will want to know how the match will go just as much as everyone else does.

From the benches, he keeps looking around, hoping for your presence. He even walks around the gymnasium because he refuses to acknowledge that you’re not coming to support the team. 

But as the game concludes, he spots not even a ghost of you. You aren’t here. 

This is enough to let him know that you’re not coming back anymore. Whatever compassion you felt for the team was overshadowed by your palpable aversion towards him. There’s nothing he can do but accept that. 

And so, days after, he finally believes it. You’re really gone, and will never step foot inside the gym again. 

--

It was a difficult pill to swallow. The first weeks after the promotion match were especially harder. The training hours felt longer for he was always waiting for you to show up by the entrance. It didn’t even have to be for him. He just wanted to see you. He could even tolerate it if you came back and said it was all a prank. 

But you didn’t. 

He had to hide the Spinosaurus figure away from his sight after that promotion game. He couldn’t look at it for he’d always remember the look on your face when you told him you loved him. 

People say that regret always comes at the end and how he furiously hates that saying for how it rings so painfully true. When words were uttered, wrong decisions were made, and now everything of it is gone, and he can no longer apologize because you're no longer there. What’s left is the crippling regret that he has no choice but to endure.

It took a while, but time really heals all wounds just like Akiteru said, even those he caused himself. His finger healed and he was able to play again. He also stopped glancing at the gym entrance and no longer searched for you during official matches. 

Life went on. 

Training hours went back to its usual pace and one day, he put the dinosaur figure you gave to him back to his shelf for him to glance upon once in a while. It was agonizing when he finally sorted out his feelings and came to terms that he did love you back - the kind of love that terrified him.

Despite his vehement regret, he doesn’t want to forget. Your gift to him is a keepsake, a reminder that someone like you was once part of his life. He thought he couldn’t be with someone as beautiful and captivating as you, but in a way, he was. 

He wants to remember those little things you did which he found silly. All those were privy to only the both of you, from one secret to another until it became one big enigma that he wished he uncovered before it was too late. 

As weeks turned into months, the regret became manageable. Everything became back to normal, apart from still missing you at times and wondering how things would’ve been different if you were there.

They were only lingering thoughts though. They go away as fast as they come because he knows there’s no sense dwelling in it anymore.

He can only focus on the present which is mostly occupied by his job which he’s well-acquainted with now.

Lot of the time, he’s just inside the office doing research work for the museum since that’s what he excels better at than touring the museum visitors. But for today, he’s assigned the latter. 

He looks at his wrist watch and stands up when he sees it’s quarter to two. When he was first assigned to tour visitors, he thought it was going to be fine and it did end up being okay. It was just a couple of people so it was manageable. 

Touring students, on the other hand, is another story. He had the most unfortunate experience of being assigned to be the guide to high school students who were on a field trip before. He found out that his patience can be stretched thinner than it already is. There was a lot of unnecessary tittle-tattle from the bunch that he was being talked over when he’s giving his small lectures. He couldn’t help but put on a sour face as he’s explaining. 

He’s been a high school student before and he knows how rowdy they can get, but still, he despised every second of it. He felt like a babysitter more than a guide. 

He hopes college students are a better crowd. He doesn’t want to have a splitting headache on the way home later. 

He gets his ID and lets out a big sigh before going out of the office to greet the students that are scheduled to arrive at three in the afternoon. He waits by the underground entrance and readies himself for the worst that is in the form of pesky students. 

When he sees a group of people wearing IDs, he takes a deep breath and approaches them. As he expected, they are chatty and too eager for his liking.  He clears his throat and makes his voice louder and firmer than usual. 

“Welcome to the Sendai Museum. I’m Tsukishima and I’ll be your guide for today. Please refrain from playing with any artifact and I would appreciate it if you do your best to keep silent while the tour is ongoing. If you have any questions, please raise your hand.” His colleagues would say that his voice is dead and cold, but to him, this is the way he accommodates visitors. He’s not being rude. He’s being professional. 

“This way please,” he says before turning around and officially starting their visit.

He walks ahead and expects the rest to follow. He’ll let them chat but when he starts talking, they have to shut up. The first site is an enclosed space because it is an underground facility. Voices echo even if they’re not talking too loud.

He turns again to face the group. “What you see here are the remnants of humans who resided right at the very spot you’re standing.” Right after he says it, someone grabs onto the preserved bark inside the domed open glass. “Excuse me. I just announced earlier to not play with it. Please take caution when you touch anything.” The student retracts their hand immediately and gives him a wide apologetic smile as they say sorry. 

He tries to keep his sigh to a minimum. If one of them reports him for being ‘rude,’ he’ll be told off by his supervisor again. He already promised to be on his best, amicable behavior in exchange for getting more research work because he really prefers to be at a desk than interact with visitors. 

“Thank you for understanding,” he adds before he continues the tour. 

“This section of the museum is a time capsule. Nothing was moved. Everything you see is exactly how it was when it was founded. The museum was built right on this site where people from the Paleolithic era thrived. This building provides a temperature-controlled climate that helps preserve the remains,” he explains to the group of which half in front are listening while taking photos and those in the back are taking photos and no surprise, talking amongst themselves. 

He lets them be as long as it’s still his voice that’s mainly heard in the area. After he gives an overview of the underground exhibit, he lets the students check the displays on their own. It’s only one third of the entire tour but his throat is already dry. This job makes him speak more than he intends to. 

After thirty minutes, he gathers them again and leads them to the upper floor where more artifacts are located. He allots five minutes for the group to head up after him before continuing on the history for that floor.  When they have all lined up again, he directs them to the middle section of the floor. 

He begins discussing the stone carvings on the wall when he hears very loud, very distracting rushed steps on the stairs. Did someone stay behind and when they looked around, their classmates weren't there anymore? Because that’s what it sounds like. Even the group seems to hear the hasteful steps with how some of them are looking at the stairs they just climbed from.

“As I was saying,” he decides to ignore it and gets their attention. He did his job and gave time for everyone to be there. It’s not his fault that someone was left behind. 

He redirects his focus to the stone tool he was about to explicate. “In the early stone age, there were only hammer stones, axes, and scrapers as tools. However, the Tomizawa site was founded only 20,00 years ago. Human civilization has then discovered that stones had other purposes other than survival.”

He should’ve drank water during the break. His throat feels scratchy with lengthy sentences and phrases. He takes a deep breath then glances back at the group to check on the student who was shameless enough to run on the stairs.

She’s looking down while she scurries to put her earphones on her bag and get something from it at the same time. She pulls out her ID and wears it hastily. She’s at the end of the line and he couldn’t make out her features that well. However, there’s that feeling of uneasy hopefulness that’s brimming in his chest. He knows that stance. The way she rests her hip to the left is hauntingly familiar.

She sweeps her hair back then lifts her gaze when she finally appears to collect herself well enough.

He can’t quite describe the feeling. For the past few months, he can’t count how many times he looked around the gym while doing the drills just to see if you’ve visited. There were even nights that he wished  you’d be in front of their house again, staring at his window.

He had no news about you after you left. He had no way to reach you because even your social media accounts were no longer there. He can only hope that you’ll come back because he doesn’t know where to find you.

And with no warning, there you are, standing only a few feet away from him. 

He should get on with the tour and continue. He shouldn’t be taking step after step, heading to where you are. However, that’s exactly what he’s doing until your features become clear enough to remind him how much he missed you and still does.

You look surprised and confused, which he doesn’t blame you for. He is too. It’s just that he has been wanting to see you again for so long that his yearning is more prevalent than his shock.

But what does he say?

‘I’m sorry for how I treated you’

‘I missed you’

‘Where have you been?’

‘Why did you suddenly leave?’

‘How are you?’

There’s so much to say but none are appropriate because he doesn’t know where you two stand now. But he knows one thing for sure.

He’s found you.

Part 12 || Part 14 || masterlist  

Taglist (I removed those who haven’t been visible for a while now)

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[freindly-neighbourhood-anarchist]

☀︎︎-: 𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍 :-☀︎︎

Kimetsu no yaiba x reader

°•.《 characters 》.•°

Rengoku, Giyuu, Shinobu, Sanemi

Tw: Swearing because Sanemi is Sanemi

____________________________________________

I'm definitely gonna binge write this series after watching the movie, I literally cant stop thinking about it--

Send in as much requests as you want!! :))

I do fluff, different AU's, angst and NSFW(we'll see).

Keep in mind, I havent read the manga. I'm caught up to the train Arc and that's it, so try not to spoil anything by requesting characters that havent appeared yet lol

« `` •"𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞~"• ´´ »

☼︎ ☀︎︎ʀᴇɴɢᴏᴋᴜ ᴋʏᴏᴜᴊᴜʀᴏᴜ☀︎︎ ☼︎

Holding hands is sort of a need for him-

He's huge with PDA and holding your small hand within his reassures him quite a bit. He never needs to ask to hold your hand, he just grips it whenever and wherever.

I feel like he'll sense when your nervous and be really perceptive, so he'd hold your hand to ground you in a way

It's highly effectve.

"Delicious!" Your energetic boyfriend chirped, eating his takoyaki with fervour and a bright smile.

You ate your own food from across him, shaking your head a little with a slight smile slanting onto your lips.

It's definitely been a long day, so winding down and eating with your amazing boyfriend is definitely a preferable way to end it.

He sort of sensed your stress as you came back from training, sweat sleek across your forehead. And thus, he ran a bath for you and then took you out for dinner to take your mind off of whatever was bothering you.

He's always had a keen intuition and was brilliant at reading emotions on others. It was a weird super power at this point. But he noticed how relaxed you were now that you were with him, it melted his heart.

His eyes flickered over your expression, his eyes soft with adoration and affection." This is certainly calming after a long day!" He exclaimed happily.

At his jolly aura, you nodded in agreement," Honestly... It's like you have some weird superpower to make me forget about whatever was annoying me. Kinda freaky." You shivered.

Letting out a hearty laugh, the man reached out, interlacing his long fingers with yours suddenly. The warmth of his skin sending goosebumps over your arms.

"I just know you too well! Nothing wrong or freaky about that!" His grin was filled with light.

Your fingers tightened around his, his warm skin seemed to be heating up your own body as well. Thank God, you were beginning to get cold anyways.

"Have I ever told you about how cute your hands are!" It was more of a statement than a question, pulling his hand and your hand closer to him so he could get a better glimpse at your soft hands." So tiny... So soft. It's like I'm being touched by an angel!"

"Geez, you're cheesy."

"You love it~!"

"... Fair point."

•«☔︎ 𝙜𝙞𝙮𝙪𝙪 𝙩𝙤𝙢𝙞𝙤𝙠𝙖 ☔︎»•

Bro I'm sorry, but I dont think he holds your hand much-

I feel like he thinks he doesnt need to show how much he loves you through actions, more so through blunt words.

But he will get the sudden urge to hold your hand every once in a while, so be prepared because he could get the jump on you at any point.

Doesnt like PDA that much, it makes him slightly uncomfortable because it's in public but I feel like he would get used to it later in your relationship.

Ocean-blue eyes stared at you hesitantly as you continued to speak about the new breathing technique you had learned.

Both you and Giyuu were walking peacefully through the garden you had grown over the years, the plants varying in different colours and sizes. They reminded him of you.

Your peaceful personality cued him to remember the petals of the flowers blowing gently in the breeze. Not to mention you smell very distinctly and sweet just like the flowers as well.

But as he walked with you in this haven, he felt pretty agitated and frustated. He hid it well with his usual deapan expressions, but he could feel the pit of the emotions growing bigger.

His hand twitched suddenly when the back of yours brushed against his, his cheeks tinting pink at the abrupt contact.

Gulping, he looked straight ahead with sharp eyes and a furrowed brow.

The atmosphere shifted.

And when you had stopped talking, he knew that you had noticed the harsh shift as well.

"Giyuu?... Are you feeling okay? You look like you're burning up." You questioned out of concern, a worried expression upon your face.

Shaking his head briefly, the ravenette continued to walk with his head staring straight ahead," I feel optimal. Why do you ask?" He was so obviously trying to change the subject.

You frowned a little at the stiff response and opened your mouth to respond but your boyfriend had beaten you to it.

"Let me h-... Hold your... Hand... Please." He uttered, looking down with red cheeks, an embarrassed scowl squirmed on his lips.

You were silent for a long while, making him wait nervously for your answer. What he wasn't expecting was the cute snort of laughter coming from you and grabbing his hand tightly within your own, your other hand wrapping around his forearm like it was a substitute teddy bear.

His cheeks heated up tenfold and he had to look away before you noticed.

"You're such a cutie. You don't need to ask to hold my hand you know?" You teased lightly, nudging him playfully by bumping your hip against his.

"I-it's embarrassing." He retorted.

"Whatever, cutie."

"No."

"Yes."

"Stop it."

꧁ꕥ 𝑲𝒐𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒖 𝑺𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒐𝒃𝒖 ꕥ꧂

She would sooo tease you for wanting to hold her hand-

Like, she would hold it obvi, but she'd tease you about it for a good 5 minutes before finally giving up lol

Flustering you is one of her favourite pastimes, it was what your relationship was built on top of in the first place. Teasing eachother was always a thing you guys did.

But Kocho takes teasing to a MAXIMUM.

It's like you guys are challenging eachother to a tease off and she just refuses to loose. She'd rather die.

Dramatic but true

What a fucking queen-

"Ara, ara~ what was that? You want to hold my hand?" The raven haired woman pressed her hand against her lips, raising a suggestive eyebrow at you." Oh~ How scandalous! You're saying we should do pre-martial hand holding? why, that's practically a crime!"

You deadpanned at your girlfriend's words," Holding your hand is a crime?..."

"Mmhm!"

"But we literally made-out yester-"

She smiled at you passive-aggressively," I'm afraid we can't hold hands until we're married! Too bad!" She sighed, pretending to seem devastated ," How could you suggest we do such a lewd thing? In public, no less! You're quite the little scoundrel, hmm?~"

Your deadpan only deepened," Well then... I guess I'll just have to marry you then, hm? So I can hold your hand for the rest of my life." You chimed out, a slight twinkle in your eye. At the sight of Kocho's cheeks tinting a bright red, you smirked in triumph." Oya~? What's that I see? Is that blush?" You poked her warm cheek affectionately," I think it iiiis~!"

Biting her lip, Kocho scoffed and rolled her eyes," Just because you won doesn't mean you-... Shut up." She huffed out, losing her composure.

" Aha! So I won." You grinned out," I think I deserve a prize for winning for like... the first time." You said that last part quickly.

" You're not getting a kiss, if that's what you're referring to!" She smiled up at you passive aggressively.

Now the win didn't even feel like a win.

I guess, Kocho will always win in the end.

You pouted at her, eyebrows furrowed," You're so petty...." You groaned out, before a cheeky grin crossed over your lips," How about letting me hold your hand instead?"

Kocho stared at your grin with an unimpressed look, before her eyes softened and a gentle smile spread onto her perfect lips." Wipe that cheeky grin off of your face and I might consider it."

A bright smile instantly spread onto your lips and you held out your hand expectantly for her to take it. Her radiant smile only widened and her hand settled into yours, her warm fingers closing over your own as if she was keeping them safe in her hold.

" Now you have to marry me." She stated simply," I want to hold your hand in mine for the rest of my life as well."

᯾༄𖦹.𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕒𝕘𝕦𝕫𝕒𝕨𝕒 𝕤𝕒𝕟𝕖𝕞𝕚 .𖦹༄᯾

BRUUUUH THIS FUCKING MAN-

Ok, so hear me out lol-

I have read up on his character a tiny bit and bro he's such a fucking SOFTY like-

If you were to ask him to hold your hand he'd highkey have to process what you said for like a minute or two before finally agreeing to it lol

He has such a tough-guy exterior when on the inside he's actually really caring to those who are important to him.

Definitely one of those characters who seem like pricks but they like something cute like cats or something-

"Uhm... Sanemi?" You spoke up suddenly, interrupting the peaceful silence.

Your boyfriend broke out of his daze of appreciating your beauty and hummed to let you know that he was listening, picking up some of his uneaten rice with his chopsticks.

"Can... Can I h-hold your hand?"

He choked on the rice he was eating, coughing into his fist and thumping his other hand against his chest to try and get the rice that shot down the back of his throat to go down.

You went to get out of your chair to help him, concern etched onto your face, but he held a hand up to stop you. Instead, you simply passed your water to him, as of which he chugged greatfully.

When he had finally gained his composure, he held out a slightly trembling hand, his cheeks tinted red as he let out a gruff," yeah... Of course you can, idiot. You don't have to ask..."

Adoration bloomed in your chest at his words and you grabbed his outstretched hand, instantly interlocking your fingers with his. Absentmindedly, you ran your thumb up and down his hand comfortingly as you smiled like an idiot to yourself.

Ba-dump.

Sanemi's heart thumped in his chest at the look of love on your face, feeling his whole body heating up. The wind pillar was known for being ruthless, intimidating and quite frankly... A bit of an asshole.

But around you? He's a completely different person.

Between you and his little brother, he's always going to have a huge soft spot for you both.

So he'll always treat you well.

Squeezing your hand lovingly, he let a slight smirk curl onto his lips," You look like a dumbass smiling like that.... You must really like me, huh?" He tried to tease.

"I don't like you."

Arrows shot through his heart, his smirk dropping in an instant," Oi-!"

You giggled at his response," I love you."

The frown on his lips wobbled a little, threatening to break out into an idiotic smile. Clearing his throat, he looked away from you and pressed the back of his unoccupied hand against his mouth to hide the smile that threatened to appear.

"Oh..." He could only respond with," y-yeah... Same here."

"You're so socially inept."

"I'm damn not!!" He grumbled, eyebrows furrowing," I fucking love you too!! Is that better?"

You grinned childishly, bringing his hand up to your mouth and placing a light kiss to it," much better."

It's safe to say that this was the day he vowed to marry you.