#fucking homophobic sexist piece of shit. GOD- I hate him so MUCH.

[eightspringdays]

if fucking ohba didn't explain clearly the whole mello kidnaping takada thing, then I will assume he did it for me to explain it as gay as absolutely possible

you know. since he loves gay people.

[letoscrawls]

How would you rate each version of Duncan from the Dune series and of his love/shipping interests whom do you think he had the best and worst compatibility/chemistry with?

Oh i love you for this question because i've been making silly little rankings in my head for YEARS and you just gave me a reason to unleash them in the wild

So, when it comes to Duncan i think the first thing you gotta take in mind is that his original version had a thing for lady jessica (love or whatever), and it's implied in some of his other relationships that she's always there in the back of his mind somehow.

Duncan and Alia: okay let's start with the one that irks me the most. Alia is my daughter, my beloved, my everything and i hate that she had to be overshadowed by her mother even during her marriage. but it's not jessica's fault, it's stupid duncan that saw jessica in alia, and someone even told him at some point. i don't remember who, i think it was jessica herself??? also you're a psychic living computer whatever HOW can you not see that your wife is being possessed by an evil presence. GOD. i'm obsessed with the tragedy of alia and i loved those scenes when duncan realized she was gone and he started crying ugh. chef kiss. very shakespearean if you will, but yeah Alia deserved a better companion so i'd rate this a 4/10 at best. four points for the tragedy and nothing more

Duncan and Hwi: 0/10. -1183948/10. this is the worst. not even tragedy can save this mess of a ship. hell it wasn't even a ship it was just wrong. poor hwi was paired with the worst men ever and then died??? wtf!! that was terrible for women in general. Not to mention god-emperor duncan is the worst duncan of them all i hate him so much you have no idea. he was a sexist homophobic dumb piece of shit and i hate that he survived and probably died peacefully with siona. also something tells me his encounter with hwi wasn't very consensual you know? maybe the way it was written was ambiguous, but i got the feeling she wasn't really sure of it and it did nothing for the plot, it made no sense. just a bad vibe in general

Duncan and Siona: meh, we don't see much of them, we just know eventually they got together and had a lot of babies and saved the atreides. i've always felt like siona was a half written character, we saw her in the beginning and she's a fearless rebel with a mind of her own, but then in the end she succumbs to the insanity of leto II's grand scheme of things and she seems more like a puppet in his hands. i don't know i'd rate this a 3/10 just because we don't see much and i think they were forced by the events and nothing more. P.S: i would have to look on the dune encyclopedia for more details, maybe they actually liked eachother like ghani and farad'n but i'm not sure

Duncan and that Jessica pseudo clone: they are mentioned briefly in god-emperor i think and it proves once again that this man had un unhealthy obsession for jessica (an assumption based on the fact i don't like him and jessica didn't either. stay with me you know i'm right). but yeah they were happy i guess??? i'm sure if some guy resembling duke leto showed up that jessica lookalike would have dropped duncan's ass in one millisecond though. 6/10

Duncan and Murbella: oh we really are in it aren't we. now THIS is a fucked up relationship. they get a higher score because she's as fucked up as him, and i appreciate equality. But hell duncan and murbella are insanity at the highest level. She imprinted on him when he was a teen and he reverse imprinted on her and they got stuck in a weird sexual curse???? peak madness i just. i don't even know what to say, if i didn't read god-emperor before heretics i would have said this is the most insane thing frank herbert did in these books. but anyway, we actually get to see a little more of their relationship (or maybe situationship, i don't even know what to call that thing they had) in chapterhouse, they are addicted to eachother and made a ton of babies for the bene gesserit. i would say there's tragedy in them as well and even though i know they dynamics that got them stuck together is not healthy and ok and they are by far the weirdest pairing in the entire six books, i'll be honest i was saddened when murbella eventually choose the bene gesserit over him. the scene when she's going through the ritual to become a bg and he's desperate to lose her might have moved something in me. idk. i give them a pass because they are fictional and weird, but overall they are a solid 8/10 to me. and i appreciate the fact that duncan was finally able to have feelings for someone who didn't have 95% of lady jessica's genotype

Duncan and Sheeana: meh. they were meant to be according to the bene gesserit plan, and they did seem to have some sort of bond in chapterhouse. but i don't know, i feel like they were two kids manipulated by the bene gesserit in different ways, and nothing more. But since the saga is incomplete, i'm sure the final book was supposed to explore their dynamic as well. i would say 5.5/10 for the potential (sheeana was super cool on her own and i like to think they could have joined forces to take down the bene gesserit and fall in love while they were at that. but it's all in my head so idk.)

i'm at the end of this long ask and i realized you asked me to rate Duncans and not his relationships. oh well (i had a drawing planned for that years ago). my apologies

Original Duncan: 10/10. bestest boy. gone too soon. he was one respectful king

Messiah Duncan: you know what despite everything I DO LIKE THIS DUNCAN. 9/10 bc he has cool metal eyes and he's very similar to the original Duncan in a lot of ways. should have treated alia better though.

God-Emperor Duncan: get this fucker out of my sight. 0/10.

Heretics baby Duncan: just a baby. an innocent soul. my son. you deserved to live a happy life with your adoptive dad Miles. 8.5/10

Chapterhouse Duncan: a pathetic loser trapped in a toxic situationship with a computer inside his head. he did try his best let's be honest. also a skinny legend. 8/10

[scoupsahoy]

Okay, so I made a post few days ago detailing as to why Buddie fans hate Tommy so much. Might wanna give it a read. https://www.tumblr.com/chaoticbiguysblog/759077831483457536/i-feel-like-initially-most-people-were-on-the-same?source=share

I feel like you're only focusing on what Buddies say to BT fans and not what comes from the other side. People have literally called us homophobic and what not for not shipping BT, and that's like the most PG comment I've gotten.

You're obviously coming from a good and genuine place, but I hope my post cleared some things about why people dislike Tommy and his fans so much. As for expanding on the racism and sexist points, ofc people grow, but he was shitty to two fan favourite characters, you don't see everyone advocating for people to like Taylor who has also hurt Bobby, Hen and Chim so why are we obligated to like him?

Thank you for this!! And I agree! I fear my intention in writing the post wasn't entirely clear because I do agree! And I read your post and I think it's really well put! You are not obligated to like any ship I would never say that!!

Sorry for all the exclamation points it's just important to me that you know I'm being genuine when I say that.

Though, side tangent, I care way more about character analysis than I care about like. Ships? I like Abbie. I like Taylor. Not in a "I think they're good people" way but in a "I think they're interesting people with clear motivations and interesting trauma" way. So I love Taylor I love that she's fucked up and I love that she has problems and I love that she's a little freak who in canon self-flagellates with sex. But that's me and that's sort of where I'm coming from even though I am a Buddie shipper I am way more interested in character than I am about fandom interpretations of fuckin anything. AND I think in my post I do literally say verbatim: I am not going to tell people they HAVE to like/forgive/give the slightest shit about ANY character, least of all Tommy, who I mainly find boring at best and annoying at worst.

My post is largely about fandom etiquette. I do even point out in that post that the BuckTommy retaliation of "oh so you guys hate gay men" among the other ridiculous shit is immature irrelevant and annoying. I'm not doubting AT ALL that there are BuckTommy shippers who have said heinous, racist, backwards, and inappropriate shit. I have seen a lot of it.

My problem is that Buddie shippers by and large have been inappropriate on a much larger scale and JUSTIFIED it by saying that anyone who ships BuckTommy is 1. fetishizing gay men 2. racist by proxy 3. literally belongs in a mental hospital. None of these things are actually true and none of these things are moral justifications for treating people like shit. (I mean you can treat racists like shit but god isn't that exhausting. Especially when it's like. You are making an assumption that they're racist because they like a ship that some people who are racist like. That's really it.)

BECAUSE and this is my BIGGEST point: you do not need a moral justification to dislike a ship, or dislike a person. There are AT MOST like 150 active BuckTommy shippers on twitter. And most of them are fucking with you. You (the Royal You, not like. You Personally. I'm sure you've literally done nothing wrong I'm sorry if this is coming across as aggressive) can block them and you don't need to make an example out of them. The need to justify MORALLY that These People Are Doing Something Wrong for Consuming A Piece Of Media In A Way I Don't Approve Of is the problem that I have.

[fakevariety]

0: Height

5'2

1: Age

14

2: Shoe size

women's 8 i believe

3: Do you smoke?

nope

4: Do you drink?

nope

5: Do you take drugs?

only medicated ones

6: Age you get mistaken for

um i really don't know it doesn't really happen

7: Have tattoos?

not yet, hopefully when i'm older

8: Want any tattoos?

see above ^^^ (yes)

9: Got any piercings?

just one on each ear

10: Want any piercings?

i want a septum piercing

11: Best friend?

yes.

12: Relationship status

single

15: Favorite movie

(currently) good will hunting

16: I’ll love you if…

i don't know how to answer this, it feels so hard to narrow it down.

17: Someone you miss

my dog, so so much

18: Most traumatic experience

um probably when my brother threatened to kill me with a knife, but idk it was a while ago. i'm lucky enough that i don't have that much trauma, at least i don't think

19: A fact about your personality

I'm very loyal.

20: What I hate most about myself

Oh god. my body and idk, a lot of things

21: What I love most about myself

i am good at giving advice, i think

22: What I want to be when I get older

author

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

besides the fact that we fight all the time i think i actually have a good relationship with my brother

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

um it's had some pretty bad parts but i'd say mostly good

25: My idea of a perfect date

idk, it really depends on the person. i also don't think the situation really matters, it just is a good date if you really enjoy it and feel comfortable

26: My biggest pet peeves

ok i always come up with some and forget but one is when people publish a piece of writing and instead of spelling out okay they say OK. that shit pisses me off it annoys me idk why

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

don't like anyone :)

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

hmmm idk how to describe him he is tall and has an ugly buzz cut and he's reallyyy fucking annoying luckily i only have one class with him. oh my god don't get me started on this boy he has said antisemitic things to me, he's homophobic and sexist, ughhhhh

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

to not hurt their feelings or hide something about myself i don't want to share. but it doesn't happen often i rarely lie to my friends, so any irls pls do worry if you see this lol

30: What I hate the most about work/school

i hate how the teachers are so fucking inconsiderate and don't do the work to communicate with each other at all and so they stack all the work up on us and it's so fucking stressful and they don't even give a shit

31: What my last text message says

"i am now dw"

32: What words upset me the most

basically any slurs used by people who shouldn't be using them

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

idk, pretty much just any nice word about me makes me feel nice

34: What I find attractive in women

where do i begin tbh

35: What I find attractive in men

nothing except for the fact that i want to look like some of them

36: Where I would like to live

i don't completely know but i LOVE Seattle

37: One of my insecurities

my body ig idk

38: My childhood career choice

professional soccer player

39: My favorite ice cream flavor

mint chocolate chip and chocolate love from taharka brothers

40: Who I wish I could be

someone who was happy with being happy

41: Where I want to be right now

physically? sitting at my dining room table eating dinner bc i am hungry. otherwise, idk

42: The last thing I ate

goldfish

44: A random fact about anything

the average person swallows six spiders in their lifetime :)

nosy anons let's go

0: Height

1: Age

2: Shoe size

3: Do you smoke?

4: Do you drink?

5: Do you take drugs?

6: Age you get mistaken for

7: Have tattoos?

8: Want any tattoos?

9: Got any piercings?

10: Want any piercings?

11: Best friend?

12: Relationship status

13: Biggest turn ons

14: Biggest turn offs

15: Favorite movie

16: I’ll love you if…

17: Someone you miss

18: Most traumatic experience

19: A fact about your personality

20: What I hate most about myself

21: What I love most about myself

22: What I want to be when I get older

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

25: My idea of a perfect date

26: My biggest pet peeves

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

30: What I hate the most about work/school

31: What my last text message says

32: What words upset me the most

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

34: What I find attractive in women

35: What I find attractive in men

36: Where I would like to live

37: One of my insecurities

38: My childhood career choice

39: My favorite ice cream flavor

40: Who I wish I could be

41: Where I want to be right now

42: The last thing I ate

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

44: A random fact about anything

[beeblackburn]

The First Law for the fandom ask! 😁

The first character I ever fell in love with: In hindsight, Logen Ninefingers, given how much he eviscerates his character trope so completely even then, but in the immediate, at the time, sense? The moment Sand dan Glokta first complained about the steps, my heart was gripped and it took awhile.

A character that I used to love/like, but now do not: On a personal level, too many to count, everyone’s either such a piece of shit or were written sympathetically enough before Abercrombie knocked the pedestal off them in this series. That being said, Sand dan Glokta. I still really like him, partly thanks to The Trouble with Peace and one hell of a choice scene, but after what he did near the end of Last Argument of Kings, and revising the series, I can’t help, but realize what I liked about him was the potential that he’d grow a heart and stop doing awful things, and him doubling down at the end was disappointing, if not surprising.

A ship that I used to love/like, but now do not: Jezal/Ardee. It was cute when I first read it, and I generally think Jezal had enough strength of character to try to do right by her, if the kingmaking business hadn’t been a thing, but I think it’s super telling that, upon being king, he thought about making her his mistress instead of realizing that wouldn’t have placated Ardee and she’d be bitter about the broken promise. In the end, they never fully knew each other, Jezal never knew the full extent of Ardee’s past, and what attracted them to each other was the dream of something better rather than anything substantial. I pity them, but they absolutely wouldn’t have worked out like Glokta/Ardee ended up doing.

My ultimate favorite character™: Logen “The Bloody-Nine” Ninefingers. But Black Calder and Crown Prince Orso are really close behind and they could easily climb overhead Logen with The Wisdom of Crowds. I’m expecting it with Crown Prince Orso, depending on how his character goes.

Prettiest character: Probably Crown Prince Orso? I know Leo dan Brock, Jappo mon Rogont Murcatto, and Stour Nightfall (though Jappo and Stour’s more my type) are objectively more handsome, but I like a little pudge in my handsome boys and Orso’s got that while having a prettier personality.

My most hated character: Collem West, easily, but I think Malacus Quai could've been better, character-wise.

My OTP: Everyone/Therapy. Seriously, Shy/Temple. Abercrombie can write some really sweet couples for such a self-professed cynic, given Calder/Seff, Bethod/Ursi, and Shenkt/Vitari.

My NOTP: Bayaz/Power. Seriously, Shev/Carcolf. Shev, please stop going after someone you know is toxic. Walk away and close that door forever. You deserve so much better, you gay babe.

Favorite episode: Red Country or The Heroes. 

Red Country has such a somber tone of bittersweet past and longing for redemption that I just ate up and broke my heart against. Lamb, Temple, Cosca, Shivers, Shy and the Felllowship, so many people want to do better from their pasts like in his past books but this time, maybe, just maybe, Abercrombie lets some of them win against their inner demons. It’s such a haunting book, men with the ghosts of their pasts hanging around them and the inevitability of changing times creeping onto them as they trek the Near and Far Country.

The Heroes is basically a typical cookie-cutter war story except it’s Abercrombie writing it. The entire Northern subplot of The First Law distilled into a narratively and thematically tight book, with some tremendously strong supporting characters, some of my favorite POVs (PRINCE CALDER! FINREE DAN BROCK! BREMER DAN GORST!) and carrying some of my favorite scenes of the entire series! It’s such a treat and I’ve loved each and all of my five rereads. This book puts all other war stories to shame for not even coming close.

Saddest death: Count Foscar (Monza relating him to the boy Benna was, laughing in the wheat, breaks me every time). Antaup (how dare you take a chapter to establish how heartbreaking a cock-blocker’s death would be, Abercrombie!), Tul Duru Thunderhead and Scale Ironhand. Oh, those hurt. Those hurt so much. And, despite how much of a shithead he was, Nicomo Cosca’s death hit me surprisingly hard. Sad and pathetic and broken.

Favorite season: Tricky. Because The Great Leveller and The Age of Madness have my favorite books in the entire series and the former’s got The Heroes and Red Country... but it’s also got Best Served Cold, which was I admittedly colder (heh) on. I’ll take the bullet that it’s a me problem and it’s still a fundamentally well-written book. The latter’s got A Little Hatred, which was a far better The Blade Itself in some ways, and, especially The Trouble with Peace, which was a roller-goddamn-coaster of a book with absolutely some of my favorite material by far. I’d say The Great Leveller for now, but I’m holding my breath on The Age of Madness usurping The Great Leveller in the end, given The Wisdom of Crowds sounds like it’s getting into all the revolutionary and freaky stuff I love about the trilogy, a relentless inferno for society and the soul.

Least favorite season: Look, I love every book in the Circle of the World, but The First Law was the result of Abercrombie stretching his legs for the first time, writing-wise, and it shows. Logen’s wife and children never fully breathe as a necessary part of him and his early magic shows growing pains in Abercrombie’s writing, West’s material isn’t as incisive a character deconstruction as it could’ve been (dude should’ve been more insidiously a piece of shit in his mind to subvert his “good commoner” trope), Dogman’s only gets by himself particularly interesting at the leg end of Last Argument of Kings, and Craw does his character better I’d say, Cathil and Ferro were underwritten (though I think Ferro’s got interesting stuff in her POV), and everything to do with Terez. Just. That. Ugh. The writing bones are solid and the main trio, Logen, Glokta, and Jezal, are all wonderful POVs, but I think it’s safe to say The First Law is Abercrombie’s freshmen writing, compared to his more affecting material in The Great Leveller and The Age of Madness.

Character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: ... Shivers? I do love him in The Heroes, Red Country, and The Age of Madness, but it always drives me a little crazy how much Shivers’ worsening moral decline is linked to Monza fucking Rogont and not him instead, making him out to be an entitled hyper-jealous asshole, and I ended up being disgusted by him. Add in the fact that he knew what he was getting into when he took a violent job and kept going, despite at least two targets, and kept caving into Monza’s higher payments, Shivers was always a piece of shit in his own right. He fell, he wasn’t pushed by Monza. I like enough of Shivers’ Best Served Cold material, but I just like his later material far more, even if I respect his earlier journey.

That being said, if he sacrifices himself for Rikke’s life in The Wisdom of Crowds, I’m going to rescind all this, because that’s the sort of perfect grace note to the anti-Logen and paaaaaaaaaaaaain. So let’s just go with Threetrees because, by god, he’s a relative snooze compared to the other “straight edges” of the series.

My ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: This could define almost anyone in this series, frankly. I guess Logen or Gorst? I really love their material, but they both definitely belong in a landfill.

My ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: Can it be anyone but Crown Prince Orso? Dude’s the only one in this world who thinks “there’s a moral question” to rulership aloud to another and isn’t homophobic, racist, or sexist (looking at you, Leo). Even Calder’s got murdering Forley and Reachey in his dark deeds and Temple’s spent years helping Cosca, which... shudders.

My ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: Monza/Shivers. It’s got some good material and I really hope they can make peace in The Wisdom of Crowds, but also *waves hands* everything else about them, honestly. God, they really did both suck to each other.

Also, Leo/Stour. It’s so wrong, yet so right. I don’t even know if it’d be hate-fucking if they got together at this point, but these two morrions deserve each other.

My ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: Jurand/Glaward, Rikke/Orso, and Cas/Vick? They’re pretty cute and could easily give each other some happiness, I feel.

[mitchmarnier]

i took too many hits off this memory (i need to come down)

pairing: eddie kaspbrak/richie tozier [reddie]  rating: teen audiences and up chapter warnings: mentions of past drug abuse, mentions of past child abuse in terms of s*nia kaspbrak, mentions of minor character death/near death word count: 3,515 chapter count: 4 of ? summary: Eddie Kaspbrak doesn’t remember much from his childhood. He doesn’t really know he doesn’t remember. He also doesn’t know why he’s so drawn this terrible comedian on tv, but when Eddie runs into him in a bar, and they spend the night together, Eddie’s life is changed forever. It’s finally back on track- and he doesn’t know anything about it

read on ao3. moodboard by @isaacslaheys​​

perma taglist: @jwilliambyers​, @stebbins​, @isaacslaheys​, @s-s-georgie​, @transrich​@eddiefuckinkaspbrak​, @edstozler​, @emgays​, @anellope​, @thorn-harvester-ven​, @wheezyeds​, @vipertooth​, @tozierking​​, @billdenbrough​​, @starrystoziers​​, @trashmouthtozierr​​, @willelbyers​​  @loserslibrary​​ (let me know if you want added!)

June 5 2009

Richie wasn’t sure how to tell his manager that he didn’t want to do stand up anymore. That maybe he’d never really wanted to do stand up. He liked making people laugh, and he vaguely remembered wanting to be a vanquilist when he was a kid but he’d never been able to stop his mouth from moving with the words. It was fitting that now, Richie’s job was almost just exclusively moving his mouth. Richie had gotten terrifyingly good at walking on stage, flicking off his brain and transforming into Trashmouth™. That had long since stopped bothering him, but as his career took off, Richie found himself having to be Trashmouth™ more and more and Richie less and less. He was suddenly surrounded by people who only really saw him as the foul mouthed, sex crazed misogynist his ghost writers had him portrayed as on stage. They’d promised him that kind of shit sold, and they’d been right, but suddenly all his friends actually thought and spoke like Trashmouth™ and it made him queasy. He could only handle sitting through so many homophobic and sexist conversations before he felt Richie would melt right out of him and Trashmouth™ would be all that was left of him. He couldn’t let that happen… he just didn’t know how to tell anybody. 

He was doing a string of shows in Georgia, because Richie’s shows always sold better the further south he went. Richie hated the South, and not just because of his whole bisexuality thing, but because the weather sucked, the accents annoyed him and Richie Tozier did not belong anywhere where the potential of rodeo or circus existed. (Richie Tozier didn’t know anything about the Southern United States). 

Richie had been born in Maine, one of the coldest states in this god forsaken country, and in 1992 his family had moved up north of the border. Richie had come back to the United States after university, because everybody told him that he would be better off getting a job in show business in America rather than Canada. He hadn’t been totally sure that was true, but he’d gotten successful pretty quickly after moving back down here so he wasn’t about to argue it. 

“I don’t know what you’re upset about.” Audra Phillips, one of Richie’s few true friends, was saying to him while packing up Richie’s hotel room. He was so ready to leave the Devil behind, and get started on his break. He was fully debating on going to Canada to see his parents, it had been too long and every phone conversation with his mom felt like a guilty knife to the chest, but Richie had things he needed to take care of.

“You’ve been doing this for years, Rich.” Audra carried on, scowling at one Richie’s ratty overshirts before tossing it directly into the hotel bedside garbage. “You’re good at it, you’re making great money, you get to stay in the nicest hotels and see the country. What else could you possibly want? You’re doing things most people dream of.”

Richie huffed out an aggravated breath. “You’re telling me you never think of leaving all this behind? Not even when paparazzi follow you around the grocery store or TMZ leaks half truths that destroy your relationships.” 

Audra crossed her arms over her chest. “First of all, no, I don’t. I’m living my dreams, Richie, that’s more than most people can say! And when was the last time Paparazzi followed you anywhere? Never? What’s really bugging you out, Richie?”

“I don’t know,” Richie said, only half-lying. “It’s like… sure, I’m doing great financially, and it’s nice that people want to see my shows but it’s not like they actually like me. The person they’re coming to see is basically the anti Richie. If I come out, I will lose all my fans because they’re a bunch of homophobic asstwats because that’s the audience I have to cater to.”

“Are you thinking of coming out?” Audra asked.

“Not like… tomorrow, but someday, yeah.” Richie said quietly. “I’m not going to live my life in the closet. It’s not like it’s the 1980s anymore. Honestly, if it wasn’t for my shows and how coming out would basically make all my content unuseable, I probably would have come out already. Or at least not been so hard on sneaking around.”

Audra dropped down on the hotel bed and smiled sadly up at him. “You shouldn’t have to live a lie forever, Richie, but you’ve got to be reasonable about this, too. You can’t just up and quit, you know that. You’re on a contract, Steve will not hesitate to sue the fuck out of you if you try to skimp out-” 

“My contract ends with this tour,” Richie said. “That’s why I’ve been thinking about it so much, they’re trying to get me to sign  on for another three years and I just… I’m 30, Auds. I don’t want to spend another three years of my life touring around to states to hate, telling jokes I don’t relate to and letting people think I can for things that I don’t. I hate that people can use my acts to justify their bullshit, you know? Three more years of that would literally make me want to kill myself.”

Audra froze for a moment, then shook her head. “If you’re having thoughts again then we can-”

“No.” Richie snapped. “It’s not like that, and before you ask- no, I’m not using anymore. I’m not going down any sort of self destructive path. I’m just… tired. I’m 30, and I’m in the closet and I’m tired.” 

Audra nodded slowly. “Okay, then here’s what you’ve got to do, then. Go to talk to somebody at your bank today before you head out, just see what you’re looking at financially. Figure out how long you can bank on your ass without working while you figure out what you want to do. Then go home and see your momma, because she probably misses you, and tell Steve that you will give them an answer to resigning when you get back.”

“And what if I don’t want to come back?” Richie asked quietly.

“Then you don’t have to.” Audra said simply. “But Steve the bullshit excuse anyway. It’ll get you across the border way easier then if you tell him that you tell him to go fuck himself and that his biggest profit client is leaving him.”

There was only one branch of Richie’s bank in Atlanta, and Richie took a moment to appreciate Steve’s power as he was ushered through the bank and immediately back to meet with one of their accountants. The man on the other side of the desk wore a simple grey suit with the jacket draped over the back of his chair. His white button up shirt was rolled up to his elbows, and his hair was in tight, proper brown curls around his head. He was, in short, somebody who usually made Richie’s mouth water just at the sight but for some reason, he wasn’t attracted to the man despite how his energy put Richie immediately at ease.

STANLEY URIS, according to the sign on his desk, gave Richie a polite smile. “So, Mr. Tozier, what can we help you with today?”

Richie let out a long, slow sigh. “I’m gonna be honest with you. I’m here because I wanna quit my job, but my best friend told me that I should make sure that isn’t the world’s worst idea ever.”

Stanley Uris chuckled, and clicked on a few things on his computer. “I’m not usually prone to telling people to quit their jobs, but based on your accounts here, you’d be able to make due for at least a year if not more on your savings only. Permitting you don’t go around making any outrageous and sentrous purchases. Basic costs of living wouldn’t be a concern for a while.”

Richie had already known that, mostly. He’d only agreed to come here to soothe Audra’s nerves. Money hadn’t been a concern of Richie’s in many years, but it was nice to know he’d be okay for a while while he figured out what it was he wanted from life. What he could do. 

Stanley turned in his chair and met Richie’s gaze with a wiry look. “I’m not prone to getting involved with my consults personal lives, but I have to ask Mr Tozier- why are you thinking of quitting your job? I won’t pretend your particular brand of comedy is up my alley, but you seem to have made a name for yourself in the business. Is it wise of you to walk away now?”

Richie blinked. “I don’t know anything about what’s wise or what isn’t, I never have. But I do know that this name I’ve made for myself, like you said, isn’t the name I want to carry forever. It isn’t me, and I guess I want the world to see me for who I am now.” 

“Well.” Stanley’s lips twitched up in a hint of smile. “As you inquired, you’d certainly be able to make due for a quite a while figuring out what it is you want your name to be, Mr. Tozier. And a piece of advice, if I may?” Richie nodded. “There’s nothing wrong with trying to find yourself, Richie. I went through most of my life mocked for who I was, or who I hung around, or what my religious beliefs were. And it stung for a long time, but I’m glad that I stuck it out. I’m a loser and I always fucking will be. It’s often not worth it to put on a mask and pretend all the time. Be who you want to be, be proud.” 

Richie definitely was not tearing up in the middle of a bank office. This strange accountant had somehow struck something deep within Richie that not even his trained therapist or NA sponsors had ever been able to reach. Almost like he knew… but that wasn’t possible.

“Yeah.” Richie said through a voice crack. “Thanks, Stan the Man. I’ll do that.”

Richie made a quick exit from the bank, truly worried for a moment that he might begin to cry in the middle of this poor man’s office. He made a rushed phone call to Steve, just Audra had advised, telling him that he needed some time to clear his head and he was going back to Canada for the short while between legs of his stand up tour. That he’d have an answer for Steve regarding his contract when he got back. Steve hadn’t been thrilled with the whole thing, but Richie supposed he was thankful that it wasn’t a straight up no. Previous attempts at negotiation hadn’t looked good, and Richie knew that. 

As Richie was getting onto the plane, his phone buzzed. He pulled it out, ready to turn the device off as he boarded and he frowned at the notification. Steve had said he was going to give Richie the space he’d requested and he usually waited a couple days before he broke those promises.

Hey Richie. I know you said you needed time but SNL is interested in signing you as a full time cast member when your tour is over. Call me when you land. -Steve. 

“Aren’t you worried about the cold?” Eddie Kaspbrak asked, legs draped over Richie’s in the front steps of the Tozier house. It was nearly completely packed up, the family only waiting for the school year to finish out before they took off. They wouldn’t even be staying for the summer. Eddie wished he’d known that last summer was truly going to be their last summer. 

“Why would I be worried about the cold?” Richie replied with a snort. “We live in Maine, Eddie boy! I’m used to the cold by now.”

Eddie wrinkled his nose and smacked Richie in the shoulder. “In the winter, sure! But Canada- That’s winter all year ‘round, isn’t it? Won’t you miss swimming and shorts? How are people supposed to know that you have terrible fashion sense if you have to dress in parkas all year long?”

Richie laughed, and it made Eddie’s heart flutter in his chest. “Canada has four seasons just like every other country, Eds! My momma says that their summers can even get pretty hot. It’s not a land of make belief, or anything. Why are you hating on it so bad?”

“I’m not hating on anything.” But Eddie thought maybe he did hate Canada, a little bit. He hated that Richie was moving to Canada, a whole other country. It was hard enough when Beverly moved to Portland and Ben moved to another state. Another country might as well be an entire other world. Mike believed that the further people got away from Derry, the more they forgot and Eddie was having a particularly hard time thinking about Richie forgetting him while possibly living in a snowbank.

“Stop.” Richie suddenly groaned. He reached out and shook Eddie’s shoulders. “Stop thinking so damn hard, you’re making my head hurt. I don’t wanna think about it, and I don’t want you thinking about it! We can’t stop it, so can we please just spend the next month having fun and being us and NOT thinking about it?”

Eddie sighed and in a moment of weakness, dropped his head down to rest on Richie’s shoulders. He knew they were out in the open, that anybody could walk past and just… see them like this. It wasn’t safe, but for the moment, Eddie didn’t care. Derry was already hell, and nothing could make it worse than Richie leaving. 

“I’m not trying to dwell on it.” Eddie said quietly, curling up into Richie’s side fully. “I’m not, it’s just…”

“Nah, yeah, I get it.” Richie wrapped an arm around Eddie’s shoulder and jostled him slightly. “But there’s no sense stressing about the things we can’t control, you know? Life in the moment, Eddie my love!” 

Eddie exhaled hard. “Richie… I need to tell you something.” 

August 10 2009

Eddie Kaspbrak hated airports. There was something about the energy in the place that just made Eddie feel wild and horrible. He always drove himself, always. No matter how many times people told him that flying was safer than driving, that it was stupid to drive across country when flying could get him somewhere within a day. Eddie Kaspbrak hadn’t flown since 1999 on a forced family vacation with his mother and aunts. Until today. 

Eddie would much rather be making the drive to Derry rather than getting on a plane at JFK but his aunt Darlene had insisted that Eddie fly out to Bangor, that six hours was much too long. His mother might not last that long, and Eddie would so regret it if he wasn’t there with her when she passed. Eddie wasn’t sure if that was true, but he’d bought the last minute plane ticket anyway. He wasn’t too sure what a difference five hours would make, but it was never worth it arguing with his mother or his aunts. 

From what Aunt Darlene had told him, Sonia Kaspbrak was as good as gone already. A stroke, late last night. The doctors weren’t hopeful for any recovery, or even for the woman to regain consciousness. It left a sick feeling in Eddie’s stomach, thinking of his mother in a hospital bed, as good as gone and being kept alive by machines. It made him feel even sicker to know that it was exactly how she’d want to go, holding onto life and sucking up resources and doctor’s time right up until the very end. Eddie had kept his mother at a distance as much as possible since leaving home for college, and in the last two years he hadn’t spoken to her at all. He’d felt no desire to. She’d made his life hard, so much harder than it had ever needed to be. He was certain that if it hadn’t been for her, he would have come out long before he did. Myra would never have happened. To this day, at 30 years old, Eddie was still trying to figure out what things are true and what are lies from her influence. He wasn’t sure he ever wasn’t going to fuck up from her, and maybe she didn’t deserve him by her bedside at all. Kay had told him that she didn’t, that Eddie shouldn’t put himself through it. He didn’t owe her a goddamn thing, and Eddie knew she was right.

Eddie Kaspbrak hated airports, he hated flying, he hated goddamn Maine and he fucking hated his mother. His plane was going to start to board any minute and Eddie was still sitting in the waiting area with his emergency overnight bag tightly in his grip. He was rapidly running out of time to make good on this plane ticket that he’d bought on his messley cab driver salary. 

“Well, I’ll be damned.” A familiar voice carried over to Eddie through the waiting room. “Is that Eddie fucking Kaspbrak?”

Eddie turned in his seat, and grinned when he noticed none other than Richie Tozier walking towards him. His clothes were rumbled and he had a five o’clock shadow around his jaw that made Eddie’s stomach tighten. It was almost weird how little Richie Tozier crossed his mind, despite how intense his reaction was every time he saw him or even thought about him for too long. 

“Richie Tozier,” Eddie said slowly, face breaking into a grin. He stood and walked over to Richie, with his overnight slung over his shoulder. “Back in the world of the living I see. I think your fans were starting to think you died somewhere.”

“Awe, Eds. You been keeping tabs on lil ol’ me?” Richie chuckled, reaching out to pinch at Eddie’s cheeks. “No need to worry, Eddie boy. I was merely taking some me time in the great white North. My parents live in Canada, I went to visit them and clear my head.” 

Eddie’s chest twinged. “Well, welcome back to civilization then, I guess.”

“You’ve always been Canadianphobic huh, Eds?” Richie laughed but Eddie frowned deeply.

“What do you mean always?” 

Eddie and Richie looked at each other for a long moment, before Richie shook his head. “I don’t know, you just strike me as the type, I guess. What are you doing here? You don’t really strike me as the flying type.”

Eddie shuddered. “God, I’m not.” He said honestly. “But my mom is dying or some shit, and my aunt is pitching some drama fit about how a six hour car drive is too long so I have to take the plane.” 

Richie froze for a moment, mouth half open and eyes wide. Eddie braced himself for the evitable awkward apologies and sympathies that always came with the whole dead parent card. 

“That sucks man.” Richie said finally, with a shrug. “You going back to Derry all by yourself?”

Eddie had given up on trying to figure out how Richie just seemed to know things about him. It wasn’t even that weird anymore. “Yeah.” He answered with a sigh. “If I get my shit together and actually catch my plane. I’m cutting it pretty close.”

“Well…” Richie gave Eddie a soft smile. “If you didn’t want to take the trip alone, I’m not doing anything interesting. I’m supposed to be settling into my new apartment but that’s boring and I think it would be way more to go back to Derry with you and wreak havoc on your aunts.” 

“You’re moving to New York?” Eddie asked with wide eyes. He tried not to think about how a big reason he and Richie had never really been together was the constant distance and Richie’s travelling. He wasn’t sure Richie had even had a home before. 

“Yeah.” Richie suddenly seemed embarrassed. “I was trying to get out of the whole stand up game, and my manager got me a steady gig on Saturday Night Live.” 

“SNL?” Eddie gasped. “Richie! That’s huge! Congratulations!”

Richie’s cheeks reddened. “Thanks, man. But I’m serious about the offer. It’s no skin off my back at all. We can go see if they have tickets left, how many people could possibly be going to fucking Maine?”

Eddie should say no. It couldn’t bring Richie home with him, to his crazy aunts and his dead mother. To Derry at all. Eddie barely remembered Derry, outside of spending almost all his time locked up in his bedroom. But he remembered enough to know that it was a horrible place, almost like it was permanently stuck in the 1950s and there was something… evil about that place. Just thinking of it made Eddie’s palms sweat and knees shake. But on the other hand…

“It wouldn’t be good for our friendship for me to reject you twice at this stupid airport.” Eddie said, forcing his voice to be light. “Let’s go.” 

[hoeforelu]

why the world is unfair

look, I know not a lot of people will see this because I have a really small platform here, but that doesn’t mean I don’t take the opportunity to address this issue. so please if you see this, take the time to read it and maybe share so more people will talk about it.

there have been moments where I just want to cry about how unfair and cruel this world actually is. the fact that people are being treated differently because of their gender, skin colour, sexuality or religion just hurts me so much. 

women are in need of much more ‘luxuries’ than men, women need pads, tampons, bras and other sanities men don’t need, yet they still get payed less for the same work as men. just because women have boobs doesn’t mean they are capable of less. women need to dress properly, because they can ‘sexually distract men’ they don’t , or they’re ‘asking to get r*ped’. no. they don’t. men can walk around without a shirt while women can’t even wear skinny jeans because, yet again, ‘they’re basically asking to get r*ped’. no chad, it’s not their fault that you can’t calm down your hormones. women can’t have any type of body hair while men can walk around like they’ve never even heard of the concept shaving. women need to have the perfect body to be considered beautiful, they need to be skinny and need to have a flawless skin, while true beauty is on the inside. either raise your standards for men or lower your standards for women. (I prefer the last one)

why do white people think they are better than black people just because the colour of their skin? your skin colour does NOT define you in the slightest. little funfact: the human species is from africa. therefore, the default skintone is BLACK. meaning that white people are mutated. so no chad, black people are not less worth than you, you’re just an ugly mutated rat xoxo.

why in the f*ck do people care about someone’s sexuality? it’s not your fucking problem, is it? love is love, whatever someone has in their pants or whatever they identify doesn’t define that. didn’t god say to not hate others? listen to him if you use religion as a reason to hate. also, YES bisexual boys exist, and STOP fetishizing bi women. them being bi is not your fetish, it’s their sexuality and therefore not your problem. same goes for women liking women. it’s very pathetic of you to be disgusted about homosexuals but cheer when you see two girls kissing each other, chad. leave them alone, it’s none of your business and not your problem.

lastly, religion. who cares who believes what. no, not all muslims are terrorist. yes some are but them being muslim is not the reason for that. (note: terrorists who claim to be ‘muslim’ aren’t actually muslim, they think they are) some christians are terrorists aswell, and you just simply ignore that, just ‘because they are christian’? how pathetic of you. let everyone be, it’s none of your fucking business anyway.

giving minorities more rights doesn’t mean less rights for you, chad.

thanks for everyone who has read until here. sorry if I made any mistakes, i’m not fluent in english. please share so many people will see it and hopefully realize how fucked up this world is. also; no hate towards any chad, unless you’re a sexist, racist, homophobic, islamophobic piece of shit. 

everyone is valid. no matter what their gender, skin colour, sexuality or religion is, you are beautiful. and you are valid

[ingayderzim]

not to be that person who asks a googleable question but wtf is hazbin hotel bc i googled it and the only “critical” thing i could find was a typo-ridden article of someone saying it has good animation and its haters are stupid. i was able to glean what it is/what it’s about but idk about the discourse lmao

Im actually so glad u asked this. Here's the lowdown, this is my definitive answer to hazbin shit from here on out, unless new info comes about of course.

Hazbin hotel is an independent cartoon by vivziepop. Most people (that ive seen) have agreed that the pilot of the show really isnt that great but the reason it has so many fans is bc of the entertaining livestreams, massive amounts of canon content produced (she has had these characters for years), unique art style, and the characters. (Ass ugly but unique.)

Its haters are totally justified bc of some of the "controversial" (read: bad) things vivziepop has done. Here's the conclusion that my friends and classmates (several of whom are Black, one Hispanic woman, and one trans woman...nellie if ur reading this i 💜 u) and i came to after discussing this stuff. I am NOT saying "well my black/trans friend said it's ok so i dont have to think about it!" this is based on a few different conversations that my friends and i have had about this topic so what im saying is that my opinion was formed by talking about this situation with multiple people affected by the controversy.

One controversial thing is a drawing u can easily find on google (called beastiality.jpg i believe?) It's a cropped (chest and up, but hes obv naked) drawing of vivziepops character, drawn by vivziepop, moaning, with a snake around him. The character is 17. Many people have interpreted this as child porn. I dont think this image is pornographic, i think it's a stupid joke (it was even tagged as a joke iirc) and completely inappropriate but since it's 8 years old on top of not being porn, i think it's just an example of a dumb drawing. That being said, i would NEVER argue that someone who is uncomfortable w the drawing (im uncomfortable with it! It's gross just not porn) or considers it porn is wrong. They are entitled to that opinion and i would never expose them to vivziepops work or talk about her stuff around them if they expressed to me that they disliked the image.

Another thing is that she drew a doodle of two racist TERFs. This is the one where my friends of color, my friends who are black, and my friends who are trans women took the lead. I sat back for this part and here's their and my opinion on this after talking about it and verbally going through this whole situation.

She was following these women (who had done blackface and stuff) and drew art of them. The art was a "quick doodle" that she did apologize for and she said she didn't realize the extent of their beliefs. She knew they werent great but hadnt consumed much of their content in depth. I believe her bc while ive never followed anyone as bad, ive certainly followed some pieces of shit and didnt notice for months simply bc im not online all the time and bc of the volume of people i follow, combined with the non chronological algorithms lately.

At the risk of screwing myself, im going to admit that there was about a year or so of my life where i enjoyed The Amazing Atheist. I was even subbed to him. I was a nonbinary lesbian (2 things he cant stand lmaoo) in catholic school and therefore i strictly watched his videos about theological stuff since thats what was frustrating me at the time. I had no clue the type of evil racist, transphobic, homophobic (yes ik hes bi), misogynistic things he thought, said, and did, bc i didnt watch those videos. I literally only watched select theological ones that could be of use to me while edgily debating my teachers (sorry mrs macdougal but u had it coming). I was about 15 at the time and im 19 now. Im sorry to everyone i hurt by ever having supported him. I had one of his quotes written in the inside of my religion notebook in high school. I regretted it and ripped the page out the moment i discovered the truth about him. I cant stress enough how much I HATE HIM. Thats an example of what i think happened here tho.

One of my friends who is a trans woman said (paraphrasing) "i think the worst thing shes done is that terf art but i believe the apology especially bc it was a quick drawing."

That being said, i would NEVER argue with someone who wanted nothing to do w vivziepop bc of this. That's their right. 100%. I would never expose them to her work after that.

The last thing i remember is something about a pedophilic couple in a comic but i heard it was a 17 year old and a 19 year old. Im 19 and if one of my peers did that i wouldnt say pedophile but id say ur a fucking weirdo, BUT, the kids were fake and being written by an adult so i can totally see her thinking that age gap is much less of a big deal than it really is. Like she forgot what it's like at this age. Idk how true any of that part is tho, i heard that info entirely secondhand.

Another thing to do with racism is that there's a joke within the show where one character says to the other

"don't get your taco in a twist"

"Was that supposed to be racist or sexist?"

"Whichever one pisses you off more"

I thought that was gross but one of my friends pointed out that vivziepop is of el salvadorian descent so that's her business. Like if i made a lesbian joke of equal or greater offensiveness than that and someone tried to call me lesbophobic over it id be like "that's literally my territory."

Oh speaking of which that character's name is vaggie and shes a lesbian but it's not pronounced w the same G you'd hear in "vagina." Vivziepop seems to name characters weirdly (like how in helluva boss theres a guy named blitzo and the o is silent) so maybe it's a pussy joke but i have no idea.

The animation was.................better than i could do, i wanna say the faces and gestures were good but god i remember there was a part with a car and my gf had to pause so i could laugh my ass off at it. I wouldn't describe the animation as a highlight but i liked the style in motion i thought it was a fun change. Vivziepops style is not appealing imo but i appreciate it as an art student and as someone whose friends all like she ra and steven universe where every character looks the goddamn motherfucking same, and while its chaotic and i dont care for it, the style actually works way better in motion than you'd think.

A good rule that i def use is to assume hazbin fans are guilty until proven innocent. If someone says they dont care about the discourse surrounding it and like it no matter what, RUN! They would support the show even if the creator was in fact a pedophile, or had done the blackface/was a terf herself! They probably support some horrible ppl and are probably "anti antis." A lot of them are minors tho so i'd say block and move on.

So, do i like it or not? Im an art student and all my friends like it so while i didnt think it was funny, i do fuck with it. At the convention this weekend my friends and i had a convo that led to me drawing an ahego hoodie where the faces were angel dust (a character's) face. It was a joke that i could make a killing by selling that in a booth at a con.

Theres really nothing compelling about the show but my friends like it so i join in on their conversations, and i do have a soft spot for angel dust bc he's like a worse, less amazing and gorgeous version of one of my characters, Candy, the love of my life.

A lot of people say the show was edgy/offensive and maybe im just desensitized but besides the taco thing i didnt pick up on that whatsoever??? The Archer episode "Swiss Miss" is worse than helluva boss and hazbin combined and even archer isn't offensive.

Im probably not aware of all the "discourse" (aka people being reasonably uncomfortable by weird and bad shit this random woman has done, and other ppl saying their opinions are wrong when it's literally just an opinion about a show) so if anything she's done isnt included in here it's not to defend vivziepop, this is genuinely all i know. I wouldnt describe myself as a fan of hers.

[meshkol]

Twitter Threads (or That One Time Tony Dialled It Up to Eleven)

Summary: Social media is hard and full of trolls, and Tony has poor impulse control.

Notes: I hate this so much. Less cracky than I wanted it, because I suck at writing humour. Fill K-3 for the Tony Stark Bingo 2019: Gossip Press. Unbeta'd as per usual. Any relation to existing twitter handles is entirely coincidental.

Warnings: Social Media, Twitter, Homophobic Language, Sexist Language, Ableist Language, Internet, Trolls, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Goes On A Rampage

No one can say that Tony’s ever had good impulse control, especially about people he loves.

@1234ideclareathumbwar posted: I donno what it is about dr strange but he must suck dick like a pro if hes got iron man whipped god knows theres nothing attractive about him except those dick suckin lips #drstrange #ironman #wtfisstarkthinking

 @100percentDONE-xxx replied: yeah its not like he can give a decent handjob ffs must me the lips or maybe hes just tight every1 knows stark loves a tight whole hes prolly cheating neway poor cripple

 @itsawrapandimreadytoparty replied: Probably just lays there and thinks about the wizard gods just to get that $$$...I’d think of England even for a nymphomaniac drug-addicted sugar daddy too, tbh.

 @BlessYouThor-ness replied: still can’t believe he chose strange over THOR like everyone can see the chemistry between them and tony is such a bottom he’d take thor’s cock so well fuck yes

 @they-did-the-thing777 replied: is it just me or does strange look like an alien maybe there’s no magic at all just aliens and he’s got a tentacle dick and stark just wants to mark off another box on his worlds-biggest-slut checklist #tonystarkispathetic

 @snowflakes_makeme_lol replied: hes just fkn ugly i s2g stark id spread 4 but strange??? that bitch be ugly asf n not worth gettin my dk wet prolly get aids

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: You guys are the pinnacle of our evolution and I am in awe of your genuine kindness and polite generosity (and grammar). Wow, I can’t believe Stephen Strange saved all of your jerkass lives TWICE for this shit and you know what? Everyone knows I’M the cocksucker in this relationship, dumbfucks.

 @kiki_blow_this_popsicle_stand replied: HOLY SHIT LMAO

“What are you doing?”

He doesn’t bother looking up from his tablet, backing away from that thread because he has no interest in seeing the replies, and hunting for the next war he can wage. “Destressing,” he replies gleefully, clicking on a thread that mentions Pepper. He can feel Rhodey behind him – and, what’s more, he can feel the disapproval seeping out of his pores too now that he’s peeking over Tony’s shoulder – but he’s on a roll, and fuck impulse control when he can sass and bitch on twitter. Some people just need to be removed from the genetic pool of the human race and not be allowed to procreate, honestly.

Somewhere in bumbfuck-nowhere, Fury is having a coronary and Stephen is rolling his eyes so hard they’re permanently lodged in his cranium.

@rudethatyoureallamatwink posted: Does anyone else think that Pepper Potts only got the job at Stark because she’s got awesome legs and a great twat and Tony Stark wanted to stick his dick in? #idfuckher #pepperpotts #starkindustries #idfuckhimtootbh #tonystark

 @MyNameIsGoFuckYourself replied: lol ur gross shes like 35 or smth but wvr u want crusty ol lose pussy u do u bro #oldchickgross #getbotox

 @shredderinmymetal3-14 replied: @MyNameIsGoFuckYourself lmao wtf?? He started fucking her when she was like twenty or something so she was still nice and tight back then. I mean I’d still fuck her right now cause she’s one hot cougar and I bet she’s learned a thing or two from the Slut Extraordinaire. And anyway, how tf do you know what her cunt’s like?? The only hole you’ve fucked is your mom.

 @queeen-bee-says-hi replied: Wow, you guys are pigs. Pepper Potts is a strong, independent, beautiful woman who is worth a thousand of all you, and your mothers would be ashamed of you all.

 @gags_are_the_best_fight_me_bitch replied: @queeen-bee-says-hi hey look theres the feminazi if you want i can replace that stick up your pussy with my dick you know you need it ill fuck you real good show you what a real mans like

 @truthisanillusion replied: I’ll fuck @queeen-bee-says-hi AND @OfficialPotts_CEO at the same time fucking feminazi cunts, god knows you bitches would be grateful for my prick in your gaping lesbian pussies

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Wow. So. Uh.

1. That’s revolting and my AI just delivered the IPs of @gags_are_the_best_fight_me and @truthisanillusion to the authorities for premeditated violence, rape, and hate crimes. You’re welcome, and feel free to send a cash donation to the charity of your choice for my thoughtfulness. I’d recommend something for women’s or LGBTQ+ rights, and I’ll match it with a multiplier of 1000x.

2. @queeen-bee-says-hi, good for you, and I can see from your profile that you’re a student. Consider your crops watered and your schooling paid for, all the way to your twelfth PhD if you want it.

3. @OfficialPotts_CEO can and will murder you with her pinky nail. I’ve taken on Thanos and I’d rather go ten rounds with him than piss her off. THAT’S why she’s CEO, not because of her admittedly awesome legs.

4. I hate this hellsite. If I buy it, can I kill it?? Rhodey says “technically” so I’m gonna look into that now.

 @i_stan_one_legend_named_virginia_p_potts replied: IRON MANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! DEFEND THE QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!! #PEPPERPOTTS4PRESIDENT

 @iaminlovewithcapandimunashamed replied: lmfao incels be fkd when #ironman comes to town

 @truthisanillusion replied: Hey @YouKnowWhoIAm No one trusts you or likes you, you fake ass super “hero” taking it up the ass like a faggot stfu and die already, kthxbye

 @queeen-bee-says-hi replied: whAT OH MY GOD THAT IS NOT NECESSARY

 @OfficialPotts_CEO replied: Tony, stop picking fights and threatening to buy twitter or I’ll ground you. And just accept the gift, @queeen-bee-says-hi - after all, he’s already done it.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Shut up Pepper, you aren’t the boss of me.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: And jokes on you @truthisanillusion because I’m already dead inside come at me bitch I’ll be the one in the multi-billion-dollar suit of armor surrounded by Avengers

 @OfficialPotts_CEO replied: Actually, I am. Don’t make me take away your toys. Or call @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel. He’s on speed-dial, sweetheart, and he likes me better than you.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Rude.

 @Sorcerer_Surpreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: The last time you threatened someone, your house got blown up. Please refrain from egging on internet trolls or I’ll dump you for Rhodes for my own sanity.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: ALSO RUDE.

“You know, I’m not even remotely bi-curious and I would totally tap that,” Rhodey says absently, though his lips are quirking into a smirk.

Tony rolls his eyes. “Hands off, you little shit, or I’ll tweet about that one time in MIT when you ate that—”

“Fuck you.”

“Been there, done that,” Tony quips cheerfully. “Not remotely bi-curious my ass—”

“You know what’s better than picking fights with twelve-year-olds on twitter? Kicking your ass right here. You come at me, Stank.”

Tony opens his mouth to reply but then gasps, already losing himself in another thread after sending a middle finger emoji into the last one.

@mwahahaha-666 posted: You guys can wax poetry about Tony Stark all you want, but screw that basic-ass rich boy - everyone knows Doctor Strange is the smokin’ hot one. #takemenow #mybodyisready #drstrange

 @ukulele_jedi_master replied: PREACH!!! stark may be loaded but stephen is the one that looks like a prada model giMME THAT MAGICAL DICK

 @xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied: Fuck both of you. I just wanna be a fly on the wall when they’re fucking each other...or better yet, DIRECT them on how to ruin each other #ironstrange #otp

 @highpercentageofuselessnessachieved replied: i wonder if he can clone himself like can u imagine?? being fucked from all ends by #drstrange cock?? what i wouldn’t give to be tony stark omfg i don’t even want the money just the hard dickin from that fine piece of ass

 @its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied: He’s got Iron Man wrapped around his little finger so he must have the biggest dick and the know-how to use it properly. Yes pls and thank you very much, I’ll take that monster dick pronto.

 @TGBYHN_4_LYFE replied: dude i tell u what i would do what @xxx-foreverfit-xxx said: sit in the corner w a ridign crop in 9’’ stilettos rubbin myself while directing them 2 do what i want...make em touch n stroke n suck n bite n fuck each other til they cant walk anymore n then cuddle w them n stroke their hair

 @catcatcatcat-cat replied: I would give my college education, my life, my cow, and my internet access away for the rest of my life for a sex tape

 @xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied: @TGBYHN_4_LYFE omfg fuCK YES CAN YOU IMAGINE listening to them moan as they lost themselves in each oter, so fucking desperate to get off that they’re begging you to let them cum even as they try their hardest to obey, covered in precum and sweat and hot as fuck

 @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied: I s2g the amount of fanfiction I write about those two alone should have me committed but I literally can’t stop the two of them are so fucking hot together that it should be illegal god bless Iron Man and Dr Strange and their sexy, sexy chemistry and sexy, sexy bodies #killme

 @one-upon-a-time-in-asgard2 replied: They are the hottest couple in the history of the universe and so fucking pure I love them both so much also @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 I demand a link to your fics cuz I’m always looking for more ironstrange porn #otp #ironstrange

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel Hey, they think you have a big dick. Little do they know that they’re totally right and that you also have the added bonus of actually BEING a big dick too! #dontthreatentoleavemeforplatypus #orilltagyouinthirstposts #awesomethirstposts #stephenhasabigdick #andiloveit #goodshit

 @mwahahaha-666 replied: OH MY DUCKING GOD

 @its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied: Well, I’d be mortified that Tony Stark is replying to this except Tony Stark is acTUALLY REPLYING TO THIS BLESS YOU IRON MAN

 @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: One of these days I’m going to murder you with your own bravado and not lose a night’s sleep over it. And fine, I won’t touch Rhodes...I’m sure Rogers is free anyway, and he’s always so polite when I visit.

 @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied: Please don’t read my fanfiction I will literally combust in embarrassment also I am dying over here in Copenhagen omfg

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: BRO CODE, DUDE. YOU’RE VIOLATING THE BRO CODE. I HATE YOU SO MUCH AND I WANT A DIVORCE.

 @catcatcatcat-cat replied: ...oh my god what does that mean you guys are MARRIED??!?! BLESS THE WIZARD GODS!!!!

 @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: Rhodes, I know you’re reading over his shoulder, so if you could please take away his phone now before he ends up on the cover of the Times...or breaks the internet. Again. Thank you in advance.

Tony reacts immediately, trying to make a break for it, but Rhodey’s already tackling him into the couch, a hundred and ninety pounds of lean muscle and pretty Class As. Tony hisses breathlessly, the wind knocked out of him, and he struggles valiantly to keep his hands on his tablet while Rhodey does his best to rip it away. He doesn’t have a very good position so he makes a hair-brained, split-second decision to throw his body weight to the side, making them both roll off the couch. Rhodey’s a jerk though, and manages to react fast enough so that Tony takes the brunt of the impact, and he can’t even help but groan in a mixture of mild pain and disappointment as he feels the tablet being removed from his lax fingers.

“Sucks to be you, Stank,” he says breathlessly, fingers flying over the keyboard, and Tony cranes his neck until he can read Rhodey’s reply (and on Tony’s fucking account what in the hell!):

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: I think I broke your hot mess of a husband, Stephen. Come collect him before he murders me with his eyes or gets his hands on another electronic device. We’re in the lab.

Three seconds later, Stephen walks through a portal, looking oh-so-fucking-gorgeous in his battle robes, and wearing a scowl of irritation that bodes well for rough, mock-angry sex in the near future.

Tony grins unapologetically, and abandons the lure of social media in exchange for his pseudo husband.

It’s an easy choice.

Also read on ao3.

Feel free to prompt me things on my Bingo Card!

[destinyguardians]

yes for the four headcanons: Your Spear Squad, Wally, Kuasa, Nora

wow leave some characters for literally anyone else 

also this is 28 hcs, so blocked- 

—

Stargirl/Courtney Whitmore

(Headcanon A:  realistic)

She’s not a morning person; unless she’s being bombed (which has happened a lot of times lets be honest) she will not wake up early. She will fistfight the fucking sun if she has too. 

No, I’m not joking, she fist fought Apollo once.(yes the greek god it’s a long story)

She won. 

(Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious)

She use to put alcohol in her coffee all the fucking time. 

All. The. Fucking. Time. 

It was the only way to survive being a young rather gorgeous woman in the military surrounded by a bunch of old white dudes. 

She shared her secret “deal with all this bull-shit” recipe with Charles because a) he can smell the alcohol and the only way to keep him from telling like the Boy Scout he is was to share and b) she could sympathize with him being a blind black man in the military surrounded by old white men.  

(Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends)

This is one I refuse to accept, but always haunts my mind, is that because the Legends are pieces of shit she never found out what happened to the Spear, Henry, or Rip. She spent every night looking up at the stars, waiting to be told, until the night she died and drifted off thinking that the Legends had failed. 

That she had failed. 

(Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.)

She was actually very upset about Amaya leaving in 1942, and has never really forgiven her for abandoning the JSA (and letting them find Rex’s cold and bleeding body the morning after with no answers to that, which is MESSED UP) and letting them think she was dead for 14 YEARS!14 FUCKING YEARS!

—

Commander Steel/Henry Heywood 

(Headcanon A: realistic)

His parents were really terrible people; not abusive to him personally, but they were basically borderline Nazis. Sexist, homophobic, racist, religiously intolerant of everything but Christianity, you name it. Henry was a much different person who despised his parent’s ideals, and he left the military partly just to escape them. 

As you can imagine they hated the JSA and threatened to disown him. Henry couldn’t give two shits about that. His team was more of a family to him then they had ever been. 

(Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious)

Henry thought the JSA recruitment training was actually a musical audition; I mean, can you blame him the poster was talking about joining a team of super powered people to save the world on like a weekly basis. What else was he supposed to think? 

(Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends)

Since comic book wise the Hawks were a part of the JSA we’re going to go with that here too, and the hc is that Henry, after hearing about their plight, invited them to join the JSA; not just for their abilities but to keep them safe as well. They spent two years in the team before Savage caught up to them. 

Henry was there when they died, and was helpless as he watched the madman stab his friends, despite him promising them that he could keep them safe. It is to date what he views as his greatest failure. 

(Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.)

Henry was bisexual, fuck you. 

—

Charles McNider/Dr. Mid-Nite 

(Headcanon A: realistic)

He’s the smartest person in DCTV universe. I mean, he’s a black blind man from the 1950s (that level of education) who got dropped off in a future a 1000 years from his own and not only does he survive but he becomes proficient enough to get his eyes back and make mind control devices. Cisco Ramon, who is a genius don’t get me wrong, saw a device from 100 years into the future and had no idea what to do with it!

Mind control devices! 1000 years into the future! T h e  F u T u R e! Don’t argue with me!

(Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious)

Charles doesn’t swear. But he does say things like “Gadzooks!” and “Gee willickers” and “darn it to heck” and “dang nabbit”. 

Doesn’t matter what’s happening, the multiverse could be ending and all you’re going to get is a “aww, cheese whiz!” 

(Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends)

Charles is the only person who knows the exact number of people he’s killed, even the faceless ones he knows wouldn’t have survived his blows. He has a standing philosophy that for every person he kills he must save two more people, no matter how much someone might have deserved it. 

No one knows how many people Charles has killed, not even the JSA, his family, or the government themselves. All they know is that he’s saved more people than they can count. 

(Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.)

Charles is like a really good dude right; he’s got a super soft heart and is very sweet, always believes that kindness is the answer, just a big teddy bear of a dude. This means that he makes friends very easily, and the kind things he does often get him a lot of allies.

Some of these allies end up being some very… very powerful creatures; I’m talking minor deities level of powerful. As some very unfortunate enemies have learned, he’s kind of got this small army of a bunch of people and things and everything in between that are ready to fuck shit up for him and keep him safe. He has a list. It makes him very happy.

—

Rip Hunter/Time Master/Director of the TB/mr. ‘no body so he’s alive fuck you’

(Headcanon A:  realistic)

Rip knows Booster Gold is his father; their timelines are slightly out of sync, but it’s generally on track and they do meet often enough to have a substantial relationship. (Sometimes Rani’s there and sometimes she isn’t but that’s a hc for another day) 

And as much as Rip likes whining about how ‘god awful’ his father is, and Booster is, to say the least, unorthodox, they genuinely love and care for each other, and like all father’s do, Booster embarrassed him in front of Miranda. 

(Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious)

Rip has a pet cosmic dragon floating around somewhere in space. It’s name is Jessica.

No I’m not going to elaborated. 

(Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends)

Miranda, Jonas’s death day happened while Rip was in prison; no one knew, no one checked up on him, so no one was there to comfort him. 

No one told him about Martin either, until sometime around the 17th episode, because the Legends were awful like that in season 3. He had no time to process it before they jumped right into trying to defeat Mallus. 

(Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.)

I don’t know what else to put here besides he’s alive and off doing his own thing away from the Legends and the TB and bringing back the JSA and just having the time of his fucking life while literally still being more competent time traveller than literally anyone else. 

You know, as Rip Hunter does. 

…

he’s aliVE OKAY-!?

—

Kuasa/Water Assassin (idk does her comic book version have a superhero name? And a fair warning I’m working in a universe where Kuasa was still a bad guy but turned anti-hero because it’s just... way more interesting) 

(Headcanon A: realistic)

Kuasa really loves dolphins. Like, if it was a choice between the entire Legends team and a dolphin, she would choose the dolphin without hesitation. She doesn’t even need to hear the other choice, it’s the dolphin. It’s always the dolphin. The dolphin triumphs all. Mallus was going to kill all the dolphins cause he’s a piece of shit like that it’s why Kuasa turned traitor to him. 

But in a more realistic sense this is because her little sister, Mari, use to love dolphins as well and would always craft little art pieces of a dolphin and Kuasa always helped her make them with their grandmother’s help. The memories of making those little things are one of the best she has. 

(Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious)

Working slightly in my Club Kill Mallus AU, everyone remembers Kuasa as a villain, so it makes her going around out in public very difficult. To counter this Kuasa has often asked Rip, Wally, or a member of the Legends to tote her around (water form) in a clear water bottle so she can go around and see her favourite museums, or sneak into government agencies, or the arrow cave cause Oliver would be the type of person to not let her in there. 

It also makes her a very unsuspecting and hilarious secret advantage, as there is nothing funnier then seeing someone yeet a full water bottle at a villain and have an angry water witch burst out like some sort of Assassin in a Bottle type of shit. 

(Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends)

Kuasa in episode 3x16 died believing she never found another family. 

Press f to pay respects, am i right guys, am-am I right, Am I RIGHT-?!

(Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.)

TBH, low key in my Club Kill Mallus AU I think Kuasa might have fallen in love with Rip a little bit, just like that sort of crush that’s not really a crush but you know your feelings for someone are a little stronger. She would never admit it if her life depended on it, but sometimes she thinks that those feelings might be reciprocated just a little bit as well. 

However, I respect that some people would probably be against this for various reasons, so to all of those people I will say that my HC for here is Club Kill Mallus happened and Kuasa was Rip’s double agent the whole time and with Wally they were the dynamic trio that we DESERVED. Kuasa continues to be Rip’s kinda sort of right hand alongside the JSA in the TB because fuck you he’s alive, they’re all alive!

---

Wally West/Kid Flash 

(Headcanon A: realistic)

Wally actually worked alongside Zari as the Waverider’s mechanic because he worked a lot with prototype engines and future concepts for different types of transportation and he’s actually a very, very intelligent man who, due to speedster abilities, learns literally in the blink of an eye. 

Gideon is very fond of him because while he works he constantly chats about this and that with her, and his optimistic and bright eyes nature reminds her a lot of a young Rip Hunter, still new to the ship. Zari really likes him as well, as not only does he remind her of her brother but its nice to have a fellow ‘newbie’ on the ship who is constantly by her side (even if he did beat her high score). 

(Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious)

Wally won’t take off his fucking cowboy outfit. 

He won’t take it off they can’t get him to take it off he just keeps running away. 

The friction of his speed keeps setting his clothes on fire, but he just fabricates more. He’s having Cisco make him one he can run in. 

He is going to die in that outfit or he’s never going to die. 

He is going to die in that outfit or he’s never going to die. 

(Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends)

You know I think everyone keeps forgetting that Wally was stuck for some timeless span in Savitar’s speed force prison in season 4 where he literally had to watch his mother die over and over again like, hundreds of times or something like that? 

I think that it wasn’t just his mother that he had to watch, but it was just everyone he’d ever loved or cared about, again and again and again, for the rest of eternity. Everytime he got use to the pain it changed into something different, and something far worse. 

(Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.)

He and Jonah shared a moment in the season 3 finale where the two of them reminisced over Rip and what he had meant for both of them. They both needed that time to grieve away from people that they couldn’t help blaming for his death. 

---

Nora Darhk/Wake Me Up Inside the physical incarnation. 

(Headcanon A: realistic)

Mallus wanted to use her for the Death Totem, and even slowly twisted her being in an attempt to get her to be able to wield it despite never actually having died. He failed, but his attempts to twist her soul created the perfect darkness that would let her be his host, which means that no matter how hard Nora ever tries to fight it there will always be an inherit drive to kill and hurt, an instinct more than anything.

Still, even as she drags her feet and tries her best to pretend she isn’t trying, she works every day to try and leave the demon behind. 

(Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious)

Nora is an incurable prankster, and by prankster I mean she loves scaring the ever loving shit out of both the Legends and the TB. She uses her magic to make the walls drip with blood and the lights to flicker and her eyes go black. She learned how to crawl on the ceiling, turn her head 180 degrees, cough up dark goo. She draws random pentagrams with fake blood and talks to thin air as if it can respond. 

For those who are more experienced they no longer even blink. It also leaves Ava and Rip with a lot of paper works that complain about her “attempts to give them all heart attacks”. 

(Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends)

She suffered a lot of abuse (physical and mental) through her childhood as Mallus’s cult did everything in their power to break her and make her malleable to their master’s wishes. When her father found out he obviously killed anyone who’d laid a hand on her and brought her to a different people that didn’t inflict such awful things, but the damage was already done. She still has many scars from her time. 

(Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own) 

Nora is lesbian, and honestly I despise the concept of Ray/Nora because Nora has consistently shown that she doesn’t have any interest in him and has also hit him, insulted him, and downright tried to murder him; if the gender’s were switched around everyone would be screaming about the ‘abuse’ but because it isn’t no one says a thing. 

Also Nora is a lesbian. 

[sinto-hell]

boys n fashion

i have uuuuuh very specific ways to imagine how the boys look because i’m never satisfied with canon and i Cannot Fucking Draw™ and i scream a lot about fashion so (mostly because what the fuck is fashion sense in otome i’m looking at u dmmd what the FUCK were those yellow socks and that jacket AN ALSO NOIZ’S ENTIRE FUCKING OUTFIT IM SO ANGRY) anyway this got a bit out of hand lmao i love clothes

nathaniel

LOTS OF SWEATERS

wears a shirt under his sweater with the collar poping out

“preppy” but not frat boy preppy. like comfy casual pretty. soft n warm like marshmallow. he looks soft but he could easily deck u into next week

lots warm cardigans 

lots of light wash jeans. doesn’t really wear black or dark colored jeans. also always cuff his jeans

white adidas are the shoes he usually wears to school

he fucking despises flannels they’re the ugliest thing in his opinion

owns a lot of scarves; never wear any of them

he knows he looks good in stripes so he has a lot of stripped shirt

hoodies are for lazy days

one (1) pair of black ripped knees jeans. usually pair them with a creme sweater

also tries to make his hair behave but he just. can’t. so he tries to make it fashionably disheveled.

owns one of those jacket thats like denim but the sleeves and the inside are like a regular sweater and theres a hood god i want one of those

probably has glasses he wears to read

(i remember i saw an artist that basically drew him dressed like this but i cant remember their name so there’s that)

castiel

boi is a punk 

his wardrobe is 90% band shirt, they’re literally almost all he wears

owns 4 my chemical romance shirt

he has two denim jacket: one black with various pins and small patch on it and one light wash with a big ass misfits patch on the back

also probably found his leather jacket in a thrift store

unironically buys those bad translation shirt that says shit like “try my delicious salt beef” or “way the bridge i burn high the way” credit to @mclfutarinotamashi for that one 

90% of his band shirts are really worn out because he wears them so much

owns a pair of og black converse and red doc martens

usually always has his roots showing and has taken a liking in tying his hair in a half bun. sorta. but he mostly live in his natural bedhead

lys once braided his hair and he didn’t like it on him but he thought it was really relaxing

has a fuckton of spiked bracelet and rubber band bracelets, but only wears one or two at a time nowadays. he used to wear a lot more. like. a lot.

black jeans all the way

also ripped jeans

also own two or three big sweater, and one of them his hands just. disappear when he wear it.

lysander

don’t get me wrong i love the victorian fashion but;; it aint realistic

peg leg trousers. google it. he’d wear the heck out of that.

owns a lot of fancy black pants 

he has those weird pants i’ve been looking for, they’re high waisted and really flowy and they’re called culottes. his are black with white stripes and he owns a black only version

he totally owns a green velvet skirt fight me on this

has a lot of scarves and wears them all

has a simple but very nice pair of brown boots for casual days and fucking 5 inches new rocks platform shoes with buckles all over for when he’s extra

a true Goth™

lots of turtlenecks and long sleeve black shirts. did i mention turtlenecks

he totally owns this sweater in green and black

he loves high waisted pants

plays a bit on androgyny, as he knows he’s pretty tall, but also very delicate so skirt  are the fucking shit on him

owns a trench-like coat. with a hood. also long cardigans

sometimes when he’s extra he’ll play a bit into the steam punk territory

experiment a bit with makeup, but only on his eyes, he still shy away from lipstick

he braid his hair to sleep so it has nice waves the next day. cares a lot about his hair actually 

also basically how @veroww dresses him what a babe

armin

oh boi what a mess

lots and lots of hoodies and generally clothes with hoods so he can hide in them and sleep

literally owns this and that (i have that one and it makes me look like a jedi, so another reason why he’d wear it)

nerd shirts. you know the type.

like he has 3 pokemon shirts and 4 marvel. alexy will not let him go out of the house wearing those. the only one hes allowed to be seen with in public is his star wars one

and fucking memes shirt

like he probably has a white shirt with a shiba inu on it

got that shirt that says “why be racist, sexist, homophobic and transphobic when you could just be quiet” with alexy so they match

one of these guys that only wears black skinny jeans or sweatpants

 basically nerdy emo

has like. 2 pair of shoes. really dirty vans that he wear everywhere and a nice pair of boots for like. ass kicking purpose. kidding alex probably made him buy them

“vans or converse?” “vans what the fuck am i an animal”

probably owns a trasher hoodie (ok now thats me projecting bc i headcanon the only sport he can kind of do is skating so) (beside SK8ER BOI ARMIN AM I RIGHT)

also yes, a lot of beanies

anything comfortable, really; doesn’t really own a lot of fancy or statement pieces he wears regularly. 

kentin

alex is right ok the military pants looks great and he probably has a great ass in it but jesus boy please change up ur game 

i actually haven’t thought a lot about his fashion sense probs because i dont write him as often as the twins or cas or do i thirst over lys

but @ne-neptune has drawn him with glasses and a big jacket today and im lov

probably owns a carhatt jacket thats a bit too big on him

rolls up his sleeves. always. wether his shirts are long sleeves or short sleeves. he. rolls them up. sip sip THEM ARMS THO

wears a concerning amount of beige and green. 

LIKES KNITTED SWEATERS OK. HE IS SOFT™

has a camo jacket

wears a lot of baggy pants but is also warmin up to more slim jeans, (not skinny bc its too tight and he doesn’t understand how armin and castiel do it) bc he knows his ass looks gr8

finally bought himself a new pair of fancy glasses he think he look ok with. hint: he’s both cute & fucking hot with them and everyone is thirsty.

combat boots all the way. he does own a pair of old converse that are seriously starting to be worn out, but he still wears them sometimes

alexy because i fucking can

now that’s my B O I

Thriftshop Fashionista™

seriously this boy love thrifstores. he once fucking found gucci shit in there. he’s lucky.

vintage/90s clothes aesthestic. 

lightwash jeans with a big belt, weird dad shirt tucked into his jeans

HE TUCKS HIS SHIRT IN HIS JEANS

AND ALSO CUFF THEM WHAT A FASHION ICON

probably also own some peg leg trousers like lysander

his favourite pair of jeans is one he found in a really sketchy store, theres hole at the knees and the bottom of the legs are ripped and there are flower patches going down the entire left side (fun fact: one of my friend has these exact pant he found in a thriftsore and every time he wears them i’m just like. vogue is shook. what a fucking look. fashion icon.)

also probably owns a sweater with roses embroidery

has like 4 denim jacket, each very different; one with patches all over it, one with a giant gay flag on the back, one black with rips in it, and one plain light wash

has one of those weird flashy colored 90s jacket that’s like baby blue and bright orange. it was his mom’s. he stole it from his mom. she let him keep and re question her fashion choices every time he wears it.

weird 90s and dad shirt are his shit. also really big sweaters. weird colors. this boy own a purple knitted sweater with a yellow wolf patch on the back. rosalya hates it. he probably bought it out of spite.

also owns vans. and a pair of combat boots. and a pair of converse. and one pair of black high heels. and orange sneakers. and brown fancy leather boots. and-

he probably steals armin’s trasher hoodie for the aesthetic

also steals his beanies bc what he has like 10

loves embroidered clothes or things with patches or weird flower designs on them

also big ass red sunglasses worn ironically.

vogue is fucking shook by this boy

and that’s all folks

[knightofbalance-13]

http://saltwukong.tumblr.com/post/173979310856/miles-luna-is-unequivocally-the-poster-child-for

Well then, let’s give you a bit of criticism yourself then.

Miles Luna is unequivocally the poster child for immature assholes who should not be in charge of other people or creative writing and the sooner people realize that the better.

Says the guy who threw a fucking fit over Scarlet being gay and calling it ‘insulting’ like a whiny bitch. (http://saltwukong.tumblr.com/post/174002001031/actually-let-me-say-this-clearly-no-praise-is)

Be polite in your criticism” fuck off. Miles is every bit as immature as his fandom who have famously taken every bit of criticism, no matter how it was phrased, as hate. Miles Luna and his rabid fanboys can fuck off.

Of course, rationally sitting down and explaining why something went wrong and showing it like in Faboover’s ‘Thoughts-RWBY Volume 4′ Series (https://www.youtube.com/user/Fal3oover/videos) is the same as flailing your arms around and crying like a child who was told no. I mean, only a whiny, immature, self obsessed, selfish, sociopathic piece of shit would say that because they are so far removed from what defines a human fucking being that the concept is foregin to them.

By the way, you seem to have uh, blocked me for criticizing you once (https://knightofbalance-13.tumblr.com/post/167961927725/a-girl-with-sparkling-lies-saltwukong). I mean surely, this must be a mistake. After all, why would you block me unless you’re even more immature than Miles?

I’m tired of dancing around this, I’m tired of being nice. I’ll be nice some other fucking night. All blind RWBY stans can fuck off. MKG can fuck off. Rip the goddamn veil off. Acknowledge that your favorite content has a flaw or five. Acknowledge that your favorite “writers” are people too, which doesn’t just mean they’re people with feelings, it also means they’re people with flaws, who are responsible for those flaws and doubly so if they refuse to work on them, and triply so if other people have to sit through the results of them.

Okay then!

Miles has a SEVERE tendency to put in more characters than necessary. I have said this multiple times.

The time skip retcon is an ACTUAL retcon and was fucking stupid. I have also said this multiple times.

And they need a professional writer on staff to teach them how this is all done. I have said this multiple times...

No veils here. I’ve always seen them as people with flaws....

But I guess you don’t want me to see them as people with feelings though.

Okay then, let’s test this out on you people:

You are a fucking coward. You sit there acting all high and mighty while you block everyone who might disagree with you because god fucking forbid any hurt your pwoor prwcious fweelings while you preach hate and destruction on a level that would make the KKK question their life choices.

You are also a fucking hypocrite, saying that Miles and Kerry should be held accountable doubly and triply so when YOU refuse to work on your flaws and I have to sit through it with you. And yet, YOU fucking hide like the cowardly little shit you are behind a blocklist because the mere thought of someone even saying in the most polite manner possible that your ego is fucking massive and wholly undeserved.

You’re also a fucking sociopath since you think that people sending Miles DEATH THREATS and ACTUAL HARASSMENT are JUSTIFIED and that Miles should eat up this shit without realizing that a skill a writer MUST have is discerning constructive criticism from DECONSTRUCTIVE criticism. But god fucking forbid someone post Sun hate in the sun tag when you can just ruin a man’s life (http://saltwukong.tumblr.com/post/173391967376/dont-fucking-post-sun-hate-in-the-sun-wukong-tag).

In general:

You’re all fucking bigots. I have not met a single RWDE poster who wasn’t racist, sexist or hetero/homophobic. Dudeblade outright thinks that the writing is bad because they’re white men, Soku thinks Jaune being white is a flaw, Invested In Your Future adamantly REFUSES to see a female character as anything other than in the right ect. 

You’re all fucking cultists. You people will regularly attack anyone with different opinions than you while preaching your opinions as right. You religiously hate on Miles and Kerry to the point I’m pretty sure youd hear their names if I said ‘satan.’ And you indoctrinate people into your line of thinking all the damn time.

And you are all fucking SHIT at your jobs. Name five flaws in RWBY? I can name FIFTEEN!: Villians need a bigger presence, Aura needs to be explained, more racism against the fanaus needs to be shown, the fight scenes need a LOT of improvement, Ruby needs more focus, We need to spend time in locations in order to get a better feel of them, show don’t tell, the Maidens need more clarification, Volume 4′s plots were messy, Yang needed more screentime in Volume 4, Salem needs more focus, they need to show Aura breaking more, Ozpin’s morality needs to be more defined, the actual retcon of Volume 4s time skip, we need more interactions between Ruby and Blake.

RIght fucking there, I just made a list THREE TIMES LONGER than what you asked for. Thing is, I didn't lie about them, they aren’t formed from my delusions, they have an actual Impact on the quality, they are reasonable for RT to handle and I didn’t use misinformation to make them. That’s ALL YOU PEOPLE DO. You lie out of your asses so much if I hadn’t left I would have drowned in your bullshit, you demand fucking shit that would contribute to NOTHING except your egos, you demand RWBY handle shit more than RT can handle (which is one of the biggest problems with RWBY) and you rely on people forgetting certain parts of the show to make them work. You people aren’t getting shit for pointing out flaws: you’re getting shit because you are so BAD at it that you make people want to forget about them and thus enforce the idea that RWBY has no flaws. That AND as someone who tries to be critical of RWBY, I have to deal with you asswipes.

Actually, let me repeat that for the hard of hearing: “the writers are people too” means they are as deserving of criticism as the rest of us, no more, and definitely no less.

So...none at all, considering you people think you’re all SO flawless and perfect that if anyone criticizes you, they MUST be wrong.

Let me inform you of something: You DON’T see them as people. You see them as fucking SLAVES, you arrogant stain on the face of the Earth. You see them as slaves that you can beat and abuse and harm and harass and belittle all while expecting them to do as you say. You people are so fucking removed from humanity that unless people think like you, have ZERO empathy towards them.

Start thinking critically.

How about you lead by example?

Oh wait, if you thought critically for even a single moment of your life: You’d realize that half the shit you say is fucking delusional, that you sound like a ravening sociopath with zero humanity in him, that you are surrounded by people who will turn on you in a fucking instant if you step out of line, that 99% of the shit you preach if applied to you would make your life miserable and that you have likely driven away anyone who actually cares about and isolated yourself in a cage of hatred that you have no one to blame for but yourself. And when that all hits you, you’d try to scream but end up choking on whatever fatty soda is in your gullet and you’ll die choking on it, cold and alone. So you completely turn off every single part of your brain that performs critical thinking because let’s be honest: Critical thinking requires self awareness and said stuff is basically LETHAL to you at this point.

... Oh what, you have a problem with what I am saying? Well, all I’m doing is following YOUR rules. I’m just treating you as YOU treat Miles. You OBVIOUSLY don’t want things like compassion and empathy applied to you because you’ve never even shown a capacity for such a thing, let alone towards Miles. You wanted this and now you have to fucking take it, because even you know no one listens to a hypocrite. 

Now how about you unblock me eh? Let’s see how you handle your veil being ripped from you.

[skyofinfinitestars]

“House on a Rock”:  Reflecting on how our personal philosophies are rooted in basic ideas, and how it is possible to change that foundation for God

“How does your positionality bias your epistemology?”

That was the title of the first essay I had to read for class, which I would need to write a response paper to. I probably read this title four times over before thinking “ok. I’m not ready for grad school. Fuck me.”

Thankfully the author of the essay explained what that question meant in English: how does “who you are”, your background and experiences, affect how you view the world?

Basically it was a call for the reader to examine their own biases, and why they hold the assumptions that they do. Ended up making for an easier response essay.

Around this time I was being more active on the sub again and had run into a homophobe. By that I mean someone who thinks “homophobia” isn’t real, and who spends most of his time on Reddit throwing slurs around on the_Donald. Whose entire account seemed to be based around how much he hated queer people.

Scrolling through his account on my phone I felt my entire being tense up. This wasn’t anything new, these people exist all over online and I’d run into a lot of them growing up. Thankfully I’m older now and at a point where these things don’t affect me like they used to.

Even so, he was just another bigot. Another dick online. I hate people like him, I thought, god I fucking hate people like you.

In our back and fourth of him showing off the levels of horrible opinions he held, and me trying to come off as condescending and dismissive, he started opening up about another issue and for some reason I invited him to PM me about it.

In private messages, he was a completely different person. He told me about how his parents hadn’t raised him well, how he’s always angry, how he hates himself for looking at porn, how he’s stressed about college, isn’t sure if he likes his classes, and hasn’t made friends because the environment isn’t very social. He feels that there’s nothing that gives him joy except porn and he hated that his life has become so empty.

And I was scared because this person sounds a lot like myself.

When I was in high school I wasn’t really...popular. I guess. I wasn’t attractive, I wasn’t in shape, and I was gay but kept that hidden (some people could tell it in my voice and all kinds of rumors spread about me). I’d heard people behind my back saying I was annoying, and gay, and that they wanted me to shut up. I tried being funny to get people to like me. If I made them laugh they’d like me. Sometimes I’d joke about other people’s looks and mannerisms.

On the I side I was filled with a lot of hate. I hated the “popular” people and how they were always going on about drinking and drugs and sex. Part of me was jealous that I was “missing out” on all three. But it felt better to judge them for it. I hated girls. I’d never say that outright but I grabbed onto sexist ideas of women from seeing other guys online say horrible things. I kind of resented them because they were a reminder that I’d never live a “normal” life. I thought a lot of people at my school were vapid and that I was smarter than most. I felt like I didn’t have any friends so I thought that most people had “fake” friends.

I was filled with so much hate for myself, the only way I could cope with it was to throw it into others and assume the worst in everyone I knew. Because I was always talking bad about people behind their back, I assumed they were doing the same for me.

One time I was walking in the cafeteria and my eyes met a guy who was laughing devilishly with his friend. They both looked at me and went back to laughing. There was nothing to suggest they were laughing at me. They were most likely not aware of me at all. But my first thought was that they had heard something about me and were laughing at me. I went to the bathroom and cried.

I didn’t realize it until college, but one major factor to my constant depression was the assumption no one liked me, and that everyone was horrible. This foundational idea was the source of a lot of other ideas and assumptions about the world that would eventually trickle down into maintaining a negative outlook and personality.

And I could see something similar going on in this online “bully”. I noticed that whenever he talked about any individual or group of people, he would always pair them with a negative adjective. He couldn’t even say anything positive about our President...he supported the President but he would show his support by degrading others around him in news stories. He could only describe people in negative terms.

Of course he wasn’t doing that on purpose or with intention, instead I think this is revealing something deeper. In talking about him and his life he’d pointed out that he is Reformed Christian, and I can’t help think that combining “Total Depravity” with the cruel ways his parents raised him [he didn’t share any details of course] could have lead him to create “everyone is evi no matter what” as the foundation of his outlook. And it would explain why he has so much self hatred for looking at porn, and why he describes any sinner as “degenerate” or “barbaric” or “depraved”. I think that he is so caught up in hate that he hasn’t internalized the loving forgiveness of God.

How can I pretend to be better? Sure I don’t throw around slurs, but my first reaction to him was “I hate you, I hate people like you”. How am I better if I reflect hate? Had I not invited him to reach out to me [on a whim], I wouldn’t be thinking about this stuff now. I’d go on praying and chatting with Christian friends and stuff and wouldn’t have thought I needed to change. How can I pretend to be better when I felt the same way about the world, and I had thrown out hate at others as well?

“So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” - John 8:7

In thinking about where our biases come from, how we grow up to view the world, I think about how easy it is to use experiences as the bases for our assumptions, and how we keep building assumptions based off of them.

Months ago I tried out a meditation place, and there the woman explained the process to me and the idea behind it. That there is one reality, objective reality, and then there are people, and because of our limited experiences we can’t observe objective reality without the filter of subjectivity, and our reaction to the world is rooted in our experiences. We look back at our memories of events and it’s normal for our memories to be distortions of what actually happened. So when thinking about ourselves, it is easy to make the mistake of thinking of our memories through a lens of negativity. If I assume “no one loves me”, and I look back at my memories through that lens, I’m going to “create” new impressions of memories and assume they all point to the “fact” that “no one loves me”.

And I think that’s why low self esteem makes it harder to break out of addiction. Any addiction you want; drinking, drugs, food, porn, internet...if you have the presupposition of “I’m a piece of shit who’s going to fail at life anyway”, then well you may as well reach for the bottle.

I came back to Christianity from a negative outlook on life, and realized that if I am going to serve God in a meaningful way then I would need to change the foundation of my personal philosophy to one that was more positive in ways that Jesus was “positive”. What I mean is, we are all sinners, so it is pointless for me look at others with cynical eyes as if I were any better than them. Instead, I need to look at others with forgiveness and compassion. I needed to love others as God loves me.

“Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” - Matthew 18:21-22

A favorite idea that I learned from Orthodox theology is that everything Jesus did was an act of sanctification. For example, Jesus got Baptized, not because He had sins that needed washing away or anything, but because He is setting an example for us to live, and He is sanctifying the act of Baptism so it becomes a Sacrament.

Like how He sanctifies water, God sanctifies being human. Humans aren’t just humans. Because of Christ, we are now reflections of God, windows to the Divine.

We are Ikons of the Living Christ.

And so, for the purpose of having something direct, brief, but also concrete, the foundation of my philosophic outlook as a Christian is,

“I am an ikon of the living Christ”.

That has so many implications. That means I must work to reflect Christ in everything I say and do. That means that I must treat others with love as God loves us, and that means that everyone is sacred at their foundations, in spite of their flaws. That means limitless forgiveness. And more.

Not going to pretend like any of this is easy. It’s super easy to type and say. But it’s hard to internalize. It’s hard to actually forgive others, to look at someone who has wronged you or insulted you or has thrown so much hate at you and to reply “I forgive you”. Being loving to everyone is so difficult. But in making this the new foundation of my outlook, it has made it easier to deal with problems.

Of course when talking about stress and depression, changing your outlook isn’t going to solve all of your problems. It would be silly to say that all you need is an outlook change in order to overcome a mental disorder. But it does make it easier to cope. If I fall into a depressive state, I’m less inclined to think the worst about myself. I don’t even believe the thoughts I have in my head. “Nobody loves you”, I don’t even take that seriously anymore. My family loves me. My friends love me. God loves me. And I have to love them back.

This ended up much longer than I hoped, but this has been bugging me for a couple days. If you have been going through a rough time, or if you’ve “always” been in a rough time, then maybe self reflection is something you can do to work on coping with negative assumptions. Maybe you will realize that you’ve taken these assumptions for granted for so long that you have ignored other options. Maybe it will help you find more comfort and trust in Jesus.

No matter what, I hope this encourages more people to plant a new seed and let something beautiful grow.

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” - Matthew 7: 24-27

[skeletonsandrosescrisisline]

School Fucking Sucks

Some might look at this post and think that it's just another bullshit one by a teenager who hates school. Today that isn't the case. Small Schools in my opinion suck more ass than big fucking schools. At the end of my last school year (my Sophomore year) students from I think Seventh grade up we're given these bullshit papers that said 'Sign Out Sheets.' Basically you got your teachers, all eight of them, to sign this piece of paper bullshit and put down your grades, if you have any work and their signatures. I've gone to big schools almost my entire life, I've moved back and forth from California and Nebraska since I was six, currently I'm seventeen. Well in my Freshman year at a huge school with almost two thousand students or more, we didn't have this sign out sheet bullshit. When we took our Final, we were told our final grades and by the third day of school left, we already had our grades. For those who didn't do Finals for a class, they were told what their grades were on the last day of that class, either way we got our final report cards by the end of the school year. Now let me tell you a flaw in this tiny ass bullshit school's plan, teenagers are not going to want to go to every class and get a stupid sheet signed, have to deal with asshole teachers and peers at the end of the year and have to fucking come back to school during Summer, in order to get this bullshit signed. I know for a fucking fact I wouldn't and my friends wouldn't, normal teenagers wouldn't. Well one of my teachers and I got into an argument over this bullshit. That dumbass teacher who decided to tell me that my fucking school, the school that I adore, is a piece of shit and doesn't care for anyone, her name is Mrs. Trampe. I kid you not, her name is Mrs. Trampe and everyone, EVERYONE fucking loves this stupid bitch. So, me and that stupid bitch argued, because I asked a fellow classmate, why we have to have these stupid things when this school is the only one who probably has this bullshit in place. Well Mrs. Tramp (See what I did there) told me that it's because 'We care about our students and want them to pass' yeah sure bitch. You guys care sooo much about us, you let a thief back in after being expelled, an asshole back in after threatening to bring a gun and shoot me for the second damn time and the first time, he fucking brought the damn gun. You guys let your stupid fucking students corner me in a fucking bathroom and threaten me, than get mad when I tell your asses that if it happens again to me or my niece I will beat someone's ass. Fuck you, you bullshit ass school. Well I told her that they don't care and she says 'Oh we care more than your school in California does'. I swear I saw fucking red when she said that, I told her that when my great grandfather got into a fucking wreck the principal and superintendent dropped their shit, along with the security guards and other staff members, they dropped their shit and went to him. When my great great grandfather died of fucking cancer the principal told me that I don't have to go to class and she will tell my teachers to give me a B or an A on my assignments and my Finals. Bitches, they fucking care, you guys don't! This school sucks fucking ass and I hope everyone who supports it burns in fucking Hell. They're all homophobic, racist,, inconsiderate, sexist assholes who need to go burn in Hell. Why I say that is because I haven't dealt with the death of my great great grandfather, who I was extremely close to and I fall into a horrible depression. I did and they told me that I need to suck it up and that it's my fault he got fucking brain, cell and bone cancer, on top of other cancers from when he died. I about murdered a cunt and at the beginning of the fucking year, my first damn day of school since seven years ago (last school year) the fucking sexist principal knows about my medical problems. I have lung issues, on top of asthma and heart issues, along with a weak ass immune system. I only have about ten percent lung capacity, so five in each lung and I have bad time breathing as it is. I get easily winded because of it and when I sleep, my body has to work four times as hard as the normal human being. Well I also have anxiety and other mental illnesses, the first day of fucking school they do a bullshit rally welcoming everyone back. Me, wearing pure black, not giving a shit and sure as fucking shit not wanting to be anywhere near SEM or any of these stuck up pricks, sticks up and isn't wanted already. Well I'm in the back, earbud in, blaring fucking Slipknot or some band that's considered 'Satanic' in their eyes, having bad anxiety and they announce that we are gonna play a game. Yay! Fucking not! It's where you blow up a balloon and do a relay, blow down all these cups, pick them up, run around in circles and run to the back of the line. He calls out my name and I try to tell him and other asshole staff members I can't, they told me I can and that I'm just an attention seeking whore. Being the bitch that I am, I did the game bullshit and had a fucking panic attack, because I couldn't breath. They got mad at me, because I not only was sobbing, trying not to hyperventilate, but I also had assholes telling me I could do it and to suck it up. I couldn't blow up the fucking balloon and it had to be huge, they got mad at me because I couldn't fucking do it and I had a panic attack. So basically Small Schools Fucking Suck and I hate everyone at SEM. 🖕🏻Also, this post wasn't meant to offend anyone or anything, it was just a rant because people have shitty experiences with school and bullying and teachers. It was also to express what I'm feeling since I don't want to go back and have another fucking year like last year because I'm the only one who likes metal, the color black and because the teachers and students all harass me. As I told the principal who told me I should join one of their few clubs and shit, why on God's green earth would I support a school that I hate with a burning passion? The only thing I'm 'doing for this school' is getting good grades and graduating, so I have to see none of your asses again till I'm a fucking famous writer and all of you, can kiss my fucking ass. I didn't use the language to him that I did in it, because kids were around and I respect children. So yeah, rant over. #Skeletonsandrosescrisisline #Skeletonsandroses #Rant #Elle #SEMcomeaftermyassIdareyou