#fucking hilarious highly recommend

[qiu-yan]

shenshen = qin su

[anotherdescentintomadness]

Rénjiān Zhì Wèi Shì Qīng Huān (Love Actually)

WANG YIBO as Zhai ZhiWei (2017)

And a little treat for all you thirsty bitches

[chelstory]

I've been movie binging for the last few months and I finally watched Jojo Rabbit-- GOD, THAT MOVIE DESTROYED ME IN TOO MANY WAYS. TOO MANY.

It destroyed me SO much to the point where I consider it one of my all time favorite films now!

Definitely doing more scene exercises from this film because it's just too GOOD AGHHHH 😫😫😫😫 Just a visually stunning, disturbingly beautiful, hilariously executed film.

[ninallthatjazz]

The weird squeaky noises David Tennant makes in Much Ado About Nothing live rent free in my brain. Have been for days now.

I keep bursting out laughing at random times during the day. Help.

[someseriousthot]

Bear in mind I'm not talking about "oh I joined this fandom server" or "I joined this one server to get some co-op help in a game I like"

no

I'm talking "discord server I made with a group of friends so we could talk about all sorts of stuff in one place and we just kept adding rooms for new topics until it became its own ecosystem"

I'm talking "we have so many channels in so many categories that we had to create another channel specifically FOR searching for those channels because trying to memorize where everything is just isn't possible by this point"

I'm talking "there is no such thing as 'deleting a channel that isn't used anymore', it's there forever for you to stumble across when stumbling through the absolute fucking maze of a server like discovering a mosquito trapped in amber of old long-forgotten conversations for you to post a new meme in to get people to go into that room to find out who's posting in it again"

[inevitablesurrender]

Dub good.  Good dub good.  Dub.  Good.  Yes.

Next week’s will kill me.

[allergictokiwis]

x

[murderoftheuniverse]

the next three of those meme posts better not flop compared to the original two or ill spray tears out my eyes like a cartoon /hj

[cacaitos]

no one like step incest manga and mangas w big ass swasticas in the cover to gaslight you abt what the plots about thru the synopsis.

[crazy-hand-official]

guess whos treating herself after a long day (^_-)-☆ spent the morning rummaging around in the woods and then went on a lil shopping spree where i picked up some cute shit and HAIR DYEEEEEEEE hehe also spent the afternoon at the library where i read some graphic novels two were good and this one sucked but i liked the colors.

[archangeldyke-all]

Sevika and tarotreader!reader. Reader showing up in Zaun all of a sudden. Basically taking residence in a dark corner of the last drop. Sevika may have seen them from the corner of the eye but never played much mind until rumors spread that their prediction always come true. Sevika, who may not believe in fate, is intrigued.

i love this so much hehehe

men and minors dni

technically, all magic, whether it's derived from the arcane, divination, or religion; is outlawed in piltover and zaun.

technically.

but realistically, you and every other person you know with any kind of magical gift are highly valued commodities for the wealthy families in the city.

you see, good business decisions and solutions to political struggles are rarely born out of human ingenuity. nine times out of ten, if the city of progress is making any progress at all; it's because the powerful and wealthy have double and triple checked with their various psychics, priests, and mages that whatever they have planned will be beneficial to them, too.

for a while, you made some real good money working as mrs. kirraman's personal tarot reader.

you were under the assumption that because you avoided consulting her on any political or financial matter, that your background as a zaunite wouldn't come into question when you give your (sometimes hard to hear) fortunes and advice.

but when the cards started letting you in on secrets mrs. kirraman wasn't keen on letting out ((and yes i'm talking about @micronreadzztuff22 's garnet-- an oc that's having an affair with cassanda eheh)) the woman you once admired for her ventilation systems in your home city shows you a nasty side of herself.

"mrs. kirraman... i don't mean to accuse you of anything... but the cards are asking you to be careful about any secrets you might not want getting out."

"pardon?" the woman asked, her face paling in the candlelight.

"i... i worry your husband's growing suspicious of y-your... loyalty."

"what, exactly, are you accusing me of?"

"i'm not judging you, ma'am, and i promise you all my clients have my full confidenti--"

"who put you up to this?!"

"n-nobody. it's in the cards."

"oh, i should've known better than to trust some scamming sump-rat--"

"ex-cuse me?! mrs. kirraman, i've been advising you for three years, and the cards have never led you or i astray--"

"i recommend you shut your mouth and leave the premise before i call for security." she said as she stormed out of the room.

so, that was the end of that gig. you left the premise in the strong arms of a kirraman guard, muttering about summoning janna and cursing the family and woman. of course, you aren't capable of casting curses, but you enjoyed the spooked look your empty threats got out of her as you were dragged off of her property.

it's for the best. or at least, that's what the cards tell you.

you've got a little shop set up in the undercity now, just across the street from the last drop in the heart of zaun. your busiest hours are the evenings when people stumble out of the bar, a little buzzed and needing some advice.

business is fine. you're happy to be working back at home. you just can't help but feel like you're missing something.

and then you meet sevika.

from the moment she steps into your shop, you know she's gonna be trouble for you. she's all skeptical and guarded, looking at you like she can't tell if you're crazy or scamming her. it's hilarious.

"care for a reading?" you ask.

she raises an eyebrow at you. "...so are you a psychic or...?"

you chuckle. "a tarot reader. i don't read minds, just cards."

"hm." sevika sits down at the counter. "alright, fine. how much are you chargin'?" she asks. you chuckle.

"depends how hard your question is."

"what am i doin' tomorrow night?" sevika asks. you roll your eyes and shake your head, pulling two cards. wheel of fortune and the devil. you chuckle.

"gambling?" you guess.

sevika smirks. "easy guess."

"fuck off. you got a question or what?" you ask. sevika sighs.

"what do you know about silco?"

"i told you i'm not a psychic--"

"no no--" sevika cuts you off with a laugh. "i mean, you've heard of him, right?"

"sure." you say, nodding.

"he... might be interested in hiring you as an advisor." sevika mutters. you chuckle.

"you don't sound too happy about it."

"i don't believe in psychics."

"oh, janna, this is gonna be miserable, isn't it?" you groan. sevika huffs a laugh.

it isn't until you've been working with silco for a full month that sevika starts to respect your predictions' accuracy.

it takes another month for her to start being friendly to you.

and then, by month three, sevika's one of your closest friends.

and she asks for a reading.

"you sure you trust me?" you ask with a giggle as you shuffle your deck. sevika huffs and rolls her eyes.

"i've seen the shit you predict for silco. you knew finn was gonna flip before we even knew he was upset. c'mon, give me your worst."

you chuckle a bit, then flip a card. "huh." you mumble. sevika raises an eyebrow at you.

"what?" she asks.

the lovers. you chuckle and shake your head. "you got a crush on anybody?" you ask, flipping another card as sevika sputters across the desk.

"wh-- do i-- what the fuck are you talking about?" sevika's eyes are darting around the room like she's nervous, or something, and you don't understand why she's suddenly so antsy until you look down at your cards.

the high priestess. "oh." you giggle.

sevika's eyes fly to yours and she groans. "shoulda known better than to ask the fuckin' psychic i'm crushin' on to give me a reading, huh?"

you laugh. "only if you were hoping i wouldn't find out."

"fuck. i thought you were gonna tell me to quit smoking or something."

you snort. "i can tell you that, i don't need the cards for it."

"well..." sevika grunts and flails her hands out.

"well?" you ask. she groans again.

"you gonna charge me double if i ask you another question?" she asks. you grin.

"depends what the question is."

"for fuck's sa-- will you go out with me?" sevika whines. you grin.

"i knew you were gonna be someone special to me."

"oh yeah?" sevika asks with a hesitant smile. "the cards tell you that?"

"nah. didn't need 'em to know that." you say with a shrug.

sevika grins, and your cards flutter to the ground as she darts across the table to kiss you.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@kissyslut @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@lavenderbabu @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @my-taintedheart

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp

@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen @annesunshiner

@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom @lushh-s3vik4s @katyawooga @lesbodietcoke

@strawberrykidneystone @sevikasfan @fict1onallyobsessed @greenhazes

[pearwaldorf]

I know I've reblogged it before but I cannot recommend F.D. Signifier's video on the Kendrick/Drake beef highly enough. This is extremely good analysis of a subculture from an expert and enthusiast that's accessible to a layperson, with the necessary historical context.

Also he dunks on Drake fans in a hilarious but mean way and I respect that. But he also has enough critical distance to step back and acknowledge some of the kinda shitty ways Drake's been treated, while keeping in mind that Drake just fucking sucks.

It's well worth your time and I'll be checking out his other stuff.

[ilovemesomevincentprice]

I've been asked multiple times which Vincent Price film is my favorite. First of all, there's so many. SOOO many.

But this one is probably my absolute favorite.

The Comedy of Terrors (1963)

Vincent Price stars as Waldo Trumbull, a drunk undertaker, who, with the help of his bumbling assistant, Mr. Gillie (Peter Lorre) - they attempt to drum up a little business since his rent is due and he's a year behind.

So, they embark on a mission to get some "customers"...which pretty much means that they will murder anyone and everyone in order to keep the business afloat.

It's a hilarious horror spoof and it's just fucking fantastic. I highly recommend you watch it. You'll love it. Thank me later.

[giantkillerjack]

Update: Having finished Smile (2022) with only minimal fast-forwarding (I'll go back and re-watch it fully at a much later date), I can confirm 3 things:

I am an absolute fucking pineapple for starting a horror movie past 10pm. The previous personal rule I had was "no starting horror media after midnight", and I started this movie at 11:54pm. I see now that my previous rule was... insufficient. My adrenaline isn't going to go down enough to sleep until at least 5:00am. I am a kumquat of a man. I am a silly little transgender kiwi-lime spritz. I am a passionfruit-strawberry smoothie with boba for brains, and I have made an error.

Most people who are suicidal should not watch this movie. Just-- go watch The Babadook for now if you absolutely must watch a movie about a literal trauma monster, and come back to this one when it has less of a chance of causing harm to you. Both are great movies. Smile is just a lot more bleak. - And that is in comparison to a movie where a woman snaps her a small dog's neck in front of her 6-year-old child. I mean, The Babadook is absolutely hopeful in comparison.

This movie fucking slaps. It is extremely fucking good. If you are in a place to watch a bleak and TERRIFYING movie about suicide, this is an excellent fucking movie. (If you're not sure, please save it for later! It's not going anywhere!)

I mean, I want everyone in my life who failed to support me in my own time being suicidal to have to watch this movie because it is a brutal look at what it is like to have a deadly mental illness that you don't have the language to explain and that you just can't get people to understand the danger of. Gods know those folks who failed me would probably STILL fail to understand what I'm showing them, but MAN, it is a BRUTAL message about not believing mentally ill people.

My only real complaint tbh is that the character of the white cop ex-boyfriend was WAY too helpful and understanding to the mentally tormented main character. Which ultimately means that the film did fail to understand and highlight the way that the cops play a direct role in perpetuating the very same abuse and neglect of the mentally ill in America that this movie is about!

(The fact that the main character's therapist mentions that she is legally obligated to call the cops if she determines her patient is dangerous shows that the movie is at least partially aware of this issue, but it fails to commit in this respect.)

But otherwise, yeah, this is an amazing fucking movie and the most visceral demonstration of the horrors of psychosis and untreated PTSD that I've seen, while actively challenging the ableist horror movie tropes I've come to expect from any horror movie that shows ANYTHING related to mental health.

This movie really said, "NO, you're not gonna get murdered by a bunch of crazed lunatics. That's fucking stupid. You're MUCH more at risk to BECOME someone other people CALL a lunatic for reasons outside of your control... and then there will be nobody that can help you."

And THAT'S the horror story I think neurotypical people need to fucking hear. The same way I don't need another "oh man wouldn't it be scary if you met some POOR PEOPLE with FACIAL DEFORMITIES" cannibal hillbilly movie, when the REAL horror of THAT situation is the kind of treatment a poor person with an unusual face could expect from a group of lost college kids who represent wealthy society at large.

I give Smile a 9/10, with the caveat that, again, this story is a tragedy about mental health. And it's an important story to tell...

But as a person whose life was saved by the patients and counselors at a mental hospital's intensive outpatient program, I want to emphasize that this movie would have fucked me up really badly back then, and it could have even discouraged me from seeking the trauma treatment that helped my life stop being a living hell.

So I wanted to emphasize one more time to please be careful with this film if you're currently having a Bad Time, and also emphasize that not all of our stories end in tragedy. I'm alive and loved and often happy, and I don't want to die, and I once thought that was an impossible state of being for me.

Even though it was fucking chilling for me to recognize that twisted titular smile from this movie as the one I used to draw on my artistic representation of my own suicidality (her name used to be Sue), if i were to draw my trauma monster now, it would look like a small strange little creature that needs love and patience (they don't wanna hurt me; they're just... horribly scared sometimes. But they haven't been Sue in a long time). Things are so different now.

So. Good things are possible. And while sometimes good movies benefit from NOT showing hopeful endings in order to emphasize the real-life stakes of a societal problem, YOU, reading this, are not yet lost.

The possibility of a better life - however slim or grim - cannot truly die so long as you draw breath.

And I happen to personally know a lot of people working to help make that chance bigger and better because doing so is MY life's work, and this has led to me making a lot of awesome, radical, kind friends. We are Many.

And that matters. You matter. And even if you, now, are the only person who ever reads this - if you can be even a hair's breadth gentler to yourself today in any way, then, by my metric, I have written a wildly successful movie review.

(Especially considering that I am, at my core, a sapient mango who now has to watch funny YouTube videos until 5-fucking-AM because I am JUST A SILLY LITTLE GUY OKAY.)

The cool thing about a horror movie that takes place in a mental hospital and, shockingly, actually turns out to be on the side of mentally ill people is that it avoids all the common disgusting pitfalls of mocking, demonizing, and infantilizing mentally ill people.

The downside is

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

[It's much scarier.]

[aleppothemushroom]

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE SEE TRANSFORMERS ONE! It is exactly the type of movie Transformers fans have been waiting for while also working as a great entry point for newcomers. It also, surprisingly, takes itself fairly seriously and isn't afraid to go into some darker subject matter. If you're wondering why the trailers focused so much on the comedy, that's just how the Hollywood suits think an animated movie will sell. The movie itself is more in tone with other Transformers movie but also really dives into themes of political corruption, injustice, inequality, and idealism versus extremism. The friendship of Optimus Prime and Megatron (or Orion Pax and D-16) and they're inevitable falling out is one of the film's strong points. Sure, it' pretty much is a family-friendly comedy for it's first half. But once it gets into the juicy stuff, you're glued. I would even say that first comedy-centric first half is necessary for the more serious second half to really hit you. And Cybertron is so fucking beautiful. It feels like a full, alive world. The voice cast is also stellar. Chris Hemsworth surprisingly works as Orion Pax and shows he can pull off the wise and powerful Optimus that he becomes near the end of the movie. Brian Tyree Henry steals the show as D-16 and Megatron, perfectly capturing his turn to villainy. There are also some twists and turns to keep the movie from being too predictable.

If I had any complaints, the film can feel a little too fast-paced at times. The important stuff is given time to develop, but everything else feels like it's in fast-forward (Elita and Bumblebee's friendship with Optimus feels a little rushed). This also applies to the action which can feel overwhelming. Not all the time, but most of the time. Bumblebee I can also see being a bit divisive. Some people may find him hilarious, others I can see being incredibly annoyed by. But I'm sure he'll be popular with the kids.

This movie apparently isn't doing so well, which sucks because this feels like THE Transformers movie. If you've enjoyed this franchise in the past, I'd highly recommend it. I want there to be so many sequels to this thing, I'm not even kidding.

[thegoldencontracts]

Rec-list!

This is a little compilation of all the twisted wonderland works I personally recommend. Feel free to DM me, or comment anything you think should be added. If you're on this list and I haven't commented on your fic, I'm so sorry! I hope my words of praise here can somewhat make up for it.

Bold Fics/Creators are/make X Reader!

Italicized ones are ones I find underrated, so I highly recommend checking them out!

Tumblr:

Kisses - by @thehollowwriter, a fluffy OC X Azul fic that made me sqeee aghhh it's so cute <3

Azul, Idia, and Riddle With A Flirty Reader - by @etheries1015, tooth-rottingly fluffy tsundere!twst xreader, I love it sm. Ft. Azul, Riddle, Idia

Ashes - by @thehollowwriter, Azul angst and it BROKE my heart, trust me it's painful in the best way.

Untitled Azujami Drabble - by @poisoned-pearls, and though they're popular probably I still think this awesome little fluffy masterpiece is criminally underrated aghhhhh

Ace, Leona, Azul, and Jamil With A Talented Baker - by @atierrorian, super fluffy and I absolutely adored it.

Group Hug - by @whats-it-mean, Ace, Floyd, Jade, and Azul all in a group hug with the reader, it's such a funny premise and yet so well done.

Arms Tonite - by @thesunshineriptide, I honestly believe it is the gold standard for hurt/comfort fics, it's absolutely amazing and honestly one of the best twst fics I've ever read.

Please Don't Leave - by @just-patchy; octatrio poly (no twincest) hurt/comfort, it is so good, don't listen to the a/n saying the writing's bad trust mee.

Azul + Anniversary - @cloudcountry; azul x reader and it's so cute ashdhfdhsfkdlj I'm dyinggg

Coin-Flip - @pomefioredove; this one was so cuteeee azul x reader, it was so fun seeing him get all flusteredd fhjdfkjh

Ao3:

and who'll love me if i'm not the top of my school - by @idia-shroud-is-tmasc/shatteredcoll on ao3; heart-wrenching riddle angst fic in the absolutely best way. If you're a riddle fan, seriously I recommend checking it out.

Of Rosy Snapshots and Deep Dives - by bedtime_at_four_am on ao3; I may be biased but honestly I love all their works, seriously recommend reading it's such a good azurido fic and even if you don't like the pairing you'll find it hilarious.

Rock and a Hard Place - by @thateldribitch/ThatEldriBitch on ao3, it's such a short but sweet fic and honestly I've reread it so many times I've probably ended up skewing the stats HELP-

Fungi Makes A Fun Guy - by Foxyexy on ao3. Azul x Jade and It's sooo cute aghjfdjdk I'm dying I'm deadd-

Business Soulmates - by Mell(MelMystery) on ao3. Platonic octatrio; It's so perfect imo, and one of the few twins meeting azul fics i like.

Indebted - by Midnight_Archives on ao3. So cute, and it's SO underrated, especially compared to other Jamiazu longfics.

Misc. (Follow Recommendations):

@malletsum - hilarious tweets and banger malleus + twst takes imo

@dailytwsttweets - Absolutely fucking hilarious every tweet of theirs is a banger imo, never forgetting "yaoi pills"

@thehollowwriter - banger takes and a bunch of good fics!

@poisoned-pearls - SO MUCH GOOD JAMIAZU STUFF it's actually insanee

@skyephobic - Banger art absolutely EDIBLE imo

@traumxrei-archive - Everyone probably knows them but they write SO MUCH good flustered Azul content it's insaneeee

@luciferzstar - Underrated Azul artist imo, lots of great memes <3

@pomefioredove - Great fic writer imo SHJFDJHKFKJFDS

@jovieinramshackle - Great artist for Azul content, I love their ocs <3