#anyways this was inspired by that one fic where jin ling got 8 versions of the talk

[qiu-yan]

shenshen = qin su

[erza155-writes]

Author Commentary: Taste of forever

So, after a whole year of tormenting myself & the homies, I have finally published the NHS x JL fic that has been occupying prime brain real estate.

It would be better to read it before you subject yourself to this author commentary, but if you’ve read it already, commentary below!

I’ve been writing this story on and off for like a year now, and well…. Yeah. It’s been a thing. I’ve kinda had fun because I don’t know if anyone else has done this yet, but here we are!

This pairing has been living in my head rent free for a hot minute, but it was originally inspired by a scene in chapter 8 from A bit of ruthlessness by Jirluvien on ao3. It’s a xicheng fic, but this throwaway interaction between these 2 sparked something within me, I taunted my friend with it, wrote an initial concept that got way too long and unmanageable and then took the cowards way out by writing this. I haven’t linked it as inspired by A bit of ruthlessness on ao3 cause I still need to ask permission from Jirluvien because I’m not sure if they’d wanna be associated with all of this.

Anyway, after I initially thought of it, I was like ‘yo is there fic for this’ & surprise surprise, fucking nothing. So I tool it upon myself to craft the narrative I wanted to witness. But as I publish this, it is the 3rd fic in the tag, so maybe there is hope yet!

This is still only the first half after various edits. I had to split it in half because NHS pov is different from JL pov.

So the story starts at 9:46pm on January 19 2021 when I text my friend:

I just wrote the outline for a Nie Huaisang/Jin Ling fic and titled it after that one Icarus meme playlist; Pretty Fly for a white guy

I'm about to cry

There is so much that is ridiculous about this 

And no one was able to stop me, so everything kind of snowballed into what I have published. (Hilariously enough, this fic was supposed to be only 500 words long, yet here we are...)

The thing is that I really do unironically love this ship and thinking about it and writing about it. They’re both such fascinating characters with a lot of depth and I was kind of curious as to how a relationship between the 2 of them would develop considering the wealth of trauma and issues between them. But in this verse I chickened out and gave y’all the soft version. But I’m like 5 steps away from writing a ship manifesto for these 2.

I decided to post this commentary here rather than in the author’s note section on ao3 because I have too many feelings, too much to say, and it would probably constitute as cruel & unusual punishment if I subjected people to this without any warning whatsoever. (Can you imagine reading a fic and the author’s commentary is just as long as the fic itself? I’m obviously not going to blaze this trail, but if this becomes the norm, I would be so excited because I love seeing how different everyone’s writing process is!)

Anyway, enough of my infodump exposition, here are my actual comments on the content of the fic!

The title of the fic is from 12345sex by Upsahl because when I was initially writing this, I listened to a lot of her music. I am halfway certain I have a playlist for this fic/verse laying around somewhere, but I am not organized on the very best of days so idk where it is. If I do find it, I would be more than happy to publish it.

I could have titled this story after Moment for life by Nicki Minaj, to really fit the theme, but I didn’t. Because by the time the idea occurred to me, I was already attached to the current title. And also, Nicki’s whole thing.

This story/verse was initially titled: ‘pretty fly for 2 dope guys’ after the offspring song and because when I started planning it, it had a very differnt vibe. At one point, I seriously considered titling it “Kiss, Kiss, Stab” so make of that what you will. 

Anyway, here are the most memorable lines of this story for me.

Jin Ling is trying to be less dramatic than the adults who raised him, but given half the chance, he would push everyone on his list down the very long Koi Tower stairs.

Writing this line was kind of fun because immediately after I finished typing it, I kinda did a little villain cackle because I’m assuming that Jin Ling doesn’t know how cruelly ironic this statement is.

His name on Nie Huaisang’s lips becomes an achingly beautiful sound; the chirping of birds in spring lifting his mood, the rushing of lakes in summertime cooling him to bearability, the rustling of autumn leaves granting him a small moment of private reprieve, a winter hearth crackling and bringing warmth to his bones.

Ok so i actually had to google autumn sounds cause I don’t experience that, but everything else was courtesy of my reading experiences. Additionally, I’m 93% sure that ‘bearability’ isn’t an actual word, but fanfiction is meant to be transformative, so I am absolutely going to stretch my artistic license in this one instance.

Speaking of which, if anyone can recommend autumn themed texts (movies, tv shows, books, music, video game walkthroughs) I would be more than happy to experience them! I don’t think I’ve consumed enough autumn centric media. As long as there is either an English or French translation, I’ll be able to understand it.

Anyway, this is more like a mini journal for my own edification and archiving purposes, but if you actually made it this far, that’s kind of amazing! And thank you for your attention, I hope you have a nice day.