#fucking hated me and i had to try not to use it much and also not limp. random bursts of increasingly worse pains in my legs ranging from

[aajjks]

RAW (m)

synopsis. Just Toji fucking you angrily from behind.

warnings: èxplícít smüt, ràw sèx, 18+ thèmès, fúckíng fròm bèhínd, ángry fúckíng, hátè fückíng, mèán tójí, únprótèctèd sèx. mdní

note. HAPPYYYY NEWWWW YEARRRRRRRRRRR GUYSSSSS!!!! let’s start this year with nasty filthy smut. lmao I hope this year will be great for us all mentally butttttt if yall follow me? Your year will be the greatest. <33 please re-blog. And follow me hehe

He’s fucking you so hard it hurts your tightening hole.

Toji Fushiguro’s anger and frustrations always have you laying on your stomach as he fucks you from behind, hard and fast as he grips your as, digging his nails into the fragile skin.

He’s been at it for hours, you don’t understand what has got him so frustrated and angry, but you don’t dare to ask him about that because whenever you do, he shoves something into your mouth and gags you.

“nghhh aghhh ahhh!~” you scream into the mattress as he shows your face deeper into the soft bed, his cock feels so hard.

He’s literally splitting you open, you can hear his labored breathing, his groans, the weight of his body is actually too much, he’s so freaking heavy.

He’s always been a muscular and big guy so this is really a struggle for you right now, but it feels so fucking good too.

That is the problem.

“ugh FUCKKK. This tight hole is fucking good.

His language has always been crude and the way he’s fucking you right now. It’s like he’s punishing you, but this punishment is so confusing because it’s pleasurable and yet so painful.

Your boyfriend is a man who is hard to understand, he loves you, but he also fucks you like he hates you.

His dick will probably kill you.

Hes came inside you so many times. It’s dark out at this hour, but he has no intentions of stopping.

“Oh yn- ugh I’m gonna fuckin cum.” He growls, his voice is going throughout the bedroom, the bedroom reeks of smoke sweat, and sex.

Your body feels like jelly. It’s like you have no energy to mutter a single word out. His hips keep working their pace.

It’s so painful.

You want him to stop but it’s impossible when he’s fucking knew so hard that you are seeing stars. You grip on the mattress tighter. He’s pistoning in and out of you.

Toji stands behind you, his eyes burning with unrestrained fury as he glares at your back.

He’s so angry, as he fucks your hole raw.

His hands are balled into fists, fingers digging into his palms.

He’s not angry at you—not directly… but you can feel it radiating off of him, the heat of his frustration simmering dangerously close to the surface.

“You think I don’t know what’s going on?”

he mutters, his voice harsh, like it’s barely holding itself together.

The words aren’t aimed at you, but the way he says them, low, threatening—makes your skin prickle. “You think you can keep pushing me without consequences?”

He steps closer, the air around you tightening as his breath grows heavier. His frustration is palpable, like a storm ready to tear everything in its path.

His voice drops, a growl building in his chest. “I’ve had enough of this shit. Do you have any idea what you’ve done to me?”

He’s so close now, his body looming behind yours, and you can feel the anger and something else, something darker, burning in him.

It’s not just the tension of being forced to hold it in—it’s everything building up that he can’t quite control anymore.

“You’re making me fucking lose it,” he seethes, his voice thick with irritation and raw need.

His hand brushes the small of your back, dangerously close, as if he’s trying to anchor himself in something real. “I don’t know whether to break something or… something else.”

“So gonna fucking break you instead.”

His words send shivers down your spine because you know that he means it and tonight your body is gonna be broken in more ways than one.

His breathing quickens, but it’s not out of desire for you—not entirely. It’s the anger, the frustration spilling over, and he’s taking it out on you, because it’s easier than confronting whatever’s really eating at him.

He’s going to cum again.

You’re driving me crazy,” he mutters, the words sharp and desperate. “And I’m fucking done being patient.”

Every word drips with pent-up aggression, frustration, and an undeniable hunger that mixes with his anger, making him unpredictable and wild.

He has always been unpredictable.

“ASS UP.”

He forces your ass up, angling himself deeper into you as he fucks you both renewed vigor

You’re drooling, he pulls at your hair hard, you’re scalp burns add the sensation, and you let out a yelp of pain, but it changes into a a moan of pleasure as he hits that one particular spot.

“Mhmm yeah you slut admit it you loved me and fucked like this with by me. You know what you are. You are my little fucking doll that I love destroying when I’m angry.”

You mewl, he’s right.

But no words coming out because he’s literally fucking you senseless. And you are loving it.

“This new year better not be shit or else. I’m gonna fucking kill someone.”

[blinkilite]

Crowley, looking flirty. 😏

By me (@blinkilite) 2024

This year has been a whirlwind. I’ve been so inspired by the GO fandom and it’s gotten me back to drawing again. (thanks ❤️). I participated in a few fan projects this year, but this is my first GO original.

All of the fan projects so far had me drawing Michael/Aziraphale, so I wanted to draw a Crowley. I love how he's changed his looks through the ages, and I wasn't sure which to do first. I also love how he likes to fuck with gender rules.

I was originally thinking of a Tokyo nightlife/streetwear kind of vibe. But a few months ago I started reading an amazing fic (Lay Thee Sinner by @thenerdalert) and hoooo boy I absolutely fell in love with their nonbinary Crowley. Then a few weeks in, a gorgeous artwork by @gleafer was added 🥵 and let me just say it was a big influence on how I finished this drawing. I’m not 100% saying he’s that Crowley, but he definitely could be.

I am also still a noob on Procreate. I have years of experience with photoshop and illustrator, and this seems to be a simplified combination of both. But I am still learning (winging it and hoping for the best). But I definitely like having it digital from the start. I can try something out and if i hate it, just delete the layer and not ruin the whole thing. it's wonderful. I used a lot of references for this, so I hope it looks put together. 😊

I hope you like it. I’ve been working on versions of this since the summer. But it didn’t fully come together until I found my inspiration 😊

This fandom is wonderful and creative and helped me so much this year. Thank you!

Happy new year! ❤️🥂

[flock-of-cassowaries]

I’m almost forty now, and I’m pretty sure that both my parents were in the category of people who had children intentionally, but only to check a box.

Growing up with them was hell.

(My mom pretty much told me that she conceived me “to save the marriage”, and my dad was very open about how much he hated children and teenagers, and I’ve read the draft of his terrible autobiographical Bildungsroman that ends with “[my mom’s name] and family destiny”. This manuscript precedes my appearance on this earth by 5-10 years.)

They raised me with the ethos of trying to find as many labour-saving shortcuts as possible.

Most of those shortcuts just involved bullying me until I learned never to ask for or expect any form or help, any kind of useful guidance, or safety.

They also involved screaming at me to discourage me from anything that might:

a) threaten to blemish uniform beige surfaces of their home, or

b) mildly inconvenience them in any way (i.e. having friends over).

I haven’t lived with them since I was 22, and I haven’t seen them in a decade, but I still I carry the legacy of their shittiness with me in many forms.

The funniest outcome is a paradoxically strong appreciation for HBO Succession (because seriously, fuck billionaires, but it’s excellent toxic family rep, Tolstoy eat your heart out).

But mostly, it just… sucks.

[cw for… a lot of bad shit below. Proceed at your own risk.]

~

~

~

~

- contamination OCD + generalized extreme risk-aversion (because as a kid, I lived with the suspicion that if I got sick, it would be my own fault, and no one would help me; given how negligently my parents handled my very, very visible and near-fatal eating disorder in sixth grade, I wasn’t entirely wrong about that)

- recurrent nightmares about them (even though for the past decade my contact with them has been limited to emails on major holidays to tell them I’m alive, and their responses, which are mostly guilt trips and - so far, false - assertions that one or the other of them is on death’s door)

- a general feeling that there’s something wrong with me and that no one likes me. (I was extremely socially isolated as a child; absolutely could not make a single friend. I was a pariah, and it was agony. My parents didn’t give a shit, and my dad actively antagonized any child I tried to befriend by screaming at them on sight.)

- Complex PTSD, both from my childhood, and also from a kidnapping incident that happened in my adolescence, which I never told my parents about and which I blamed myself for. (Adding to the fun, the fallout from that traumatic event metastasized into many years of absolutely vicious internalized misogyny that made me hate myself even more, and isolated me from anyone who wasn’t a cis man - even though my kidnapped had all been cis men. (10/10 analysis there, Traumatized Adolescent Me.) The reasons for that had a lot to do with culture overall, but also, more specifically, with my dad.)

A lot of parents shouldn’t be parents. Which is not me advocating for eugenics. Sex ed, abortion and birth control should be free and easily accessible and we should create culture that doesn’t treat reproducing as inherently altruistic and moral and makes it more acceptable to choose not to have kids. It’s an extremely weighty irreversible choice but it should always be a choice. You should have a damn good reason to have a child instead of it being something you do to tick off a box. If you don’t like kids and you don’t want to sacrifice your time and money to your kids, don’t have a kid. This isn’t an anti-parent anti-kid kid rant, it’s just so sad to see how many parents are kind of meh about their kids or straight up open about regretting them and to remember how many of my friends and classmates growing up had shitty parent horror stories.

[totallynotashieldagent]

His Sweet Treat

Pairing: Beast World Jason Todd/Reader

Summary: Reader and Jason were together before he turned into a Beast. They're still together even now.

Author's Note: Everyone say thank you to @peachyyydrawz for making this Jason in this muzzle that inspired this monster smut for the new year.

hopefully this monster cock will bring prosperity and good fortune for us all in 2025.

“Don’t you dare whine now.” You huffed as you tied the muzzle around Jason’s snout and clipped it snuggly behind his head. 

The big burly beast tried to give you his best green puppy eyes and whined again. Pawing at the muzzle once more, nuzzling against your knee, begging to be let loose. 

“Nuh-uh!” You shook your head again. “This is staying on .” You glared and his ears flattened out. “We wouldn’t be needing this if someone didn’t lose control last night and tried biting at me while we fucked.” 

Jason immediately deflated at your crass words. 

That trait was still extremely human about him. How he got so shy whenever you talked about sex or anything sexual. 

“What?” You mused, “Don’t wanna talk about it now, huh?” You giggled softly, pulling at his muzzle, bringing his face close to yours, “You were very vocal yesterday.” 

He growled, pawing you away, trying to hide his face or himself entirely. Neither was possible. He was still too big, and you were still too confrontational. 

Jason finally managed to get away from your hands. Both his front paws hid his face as he crouched down to kneel at your feet. His muzzle scratched at your legs in protest. He was still very unhappy about it and deeply embarrassed of how crude you were now being. 

“Don’t be shy, baby.” You petted him like a dog. 

God, he hated how good it felt. How much he loved it. 

If he was still human, he would’ve told you to stop treating him like a pet but right now? Right now he felt like the world could burn and he wouldn’t care since your hands were touching him like that. God - His tail thumped against the ground. 

It didn’t matter that he was a seven-foot giant beast. For you? He was a docile little puppy. Eager to please, eager to be good . 

“Muzzle stays on, okay?” You cooed at him, “And I’ll let you do that thing again that you did last night…” 

Incentive? Jason’s ears perked up, his tail swishing side to side in anticipation. He nudged your knee and nodded quickly. He still hated this stupid muzzle. He couldn’t nip at you, lick you, and more importantly, he couldn’t leave any bite marks on you; which were very important to him because he liked marking you so much. But he knew he’d also do anything to be rewarded for being good. 

The whole day, he followed you around like a puppy. Helping however he could with whatever needed to be fixed in the safe house. 

After dinner, he laid flat on the floor, looking up at you. All four paws tucked underneath him. 

“You’re making a mess, Jay.” You laughed softly, a little salvia dripping from his muzzle. “Drooling like a puppy …” You said sultrily, just to egg him on.

A soft growl escaped him. He was already apologetic about misbehaving and being put in the stupid muzzle and now he felt like you were mocking him on top of it. He leaned up on his front hinds, his bright green eyes showing clear intention of Take off this muzzle and I’ll show you a mess.  

“No, baby. You lost control last night, remember?” You petted him gently. “I like the tiny bites here and there but you tore through the pillows. The couch is completely unusable now.” You pouted, scolding him and trying to keep yourself calm in the process too. As if him being a feral beast didn’t turn you on even more. 

In reality, you’d cum hard when he’d lost control. But in hindsight, currently, you were trying to make sure everything stayed safe if you two continued to … well, stay a couple.

Jason had always been bigger. Even as a human. But now? As a beast? He was huge. But you weren’t deterred by that. He was still him and he was still yours . 

He whimpered again, leaning up more, carefully treading further and further. Looking up at you, hoping you’d just give in if he gave you his puppy-eyes long enough. It usually worked. He knew it worked. You never stayed mad at him long, it was easy to sway you. You were so weak for him. 

The muzzle pressed against your thigh as he put his big face on your lap. He wanted to ignore the way you smelled but being this close, all he wanted to do was bury his snout in between your legs. Devour you whole but this godforsaken muzzle was in the fucking way. 

Jason growled again. This was more aggressive. Not the pleading, whining one from a few minutes ago. This was a warning for you to remove it or he’d make you sorry. 

You swallowed, looking down at him, his bright eyes looking up. Challenging you. A part of you wanted to take it off but the stronger part of you, wanted to say no. Wanted to push him, to make him get angry and rough. To lose control again. 

“Muzzle stays on.” You said again, your voice lacking conviction this time around, however. 

Jason purred at your shaky voice, pulling back and standing to his full height. You gulped audibly, looking up at him. The sheer size of him shooting straight to your core. He took in a deep breath, hunching over, his muzzle almost touching your face. 

He couldn’t speak anymore, but some words. Some choppy, growly, barely understandable ones would leave him if he forced it enough. 

“ Off .” He snarled and you shook your head. 

Your fists clenched at the edges of your dress. He gave you a once over. You were so fearless otherwise. But times like? In this safehouse, when he towered over you. You looked so small, so edible . He felt like the big bad wolf, and you? Fuck- You were his little red riding hood. 

One arm wrapped around your waist, hoisting you up against his furry chest. You squeaked at the sudden movement but didn’t protest or try to get away. Why would you, anyway? Your hands pressed against his chest, disappearing into the thick coat. 

Jason nudged at your face and like a docile prey, you craned your neck back for him. He inhaled deeply. You still smelled like him but the scent was fading quickly. 

He growled again, his teeth scraping against his muzzle, drool dripping down. How badly he wanted to bite at the column of your throat, leave his mark, mate you even though it had already been done countless times over. But you made him feel a certain type of way and he used to be able to control it better when he was human. But now? Now, it was near fucking impossible .

One whiff of you was enough to send him into a spiral and bring out all his animalistic instincts to the surface. 

You whimpered his name softly. The same way you’d last night when you’d arched under him and his claws had ripped into the sofa so deeply that it was a mess of cotton and wood right now. 

Jason’s other paw clawed his the back of the muzzle. “ Off .” He growled darkly again and this time you were sure that your underwear soaked through.

“You’ll behave?” You shivered against him, your hands reaching out and resting at the buckle lock, not undoing it but giving him the opportunity to be good for you. His tail swished rapidly and he nodded. “It’ll go back on if you lose control again.” 

That was a bald-faced lie. The muzzle wouldn’t go on unless he was actually close to causing damage or you wanted to rile him up to fuck you into oblivion. 

His intense eyes were laser-focused on you. Like a dog waiting for his treat, his body was practically vibrating for you to take the offending muzzle off. As soon as the buckle lock clicked open, he snarled and moved with such quickness that you didn’t even have the time to react. 

His warm wet tongue licked a stripe across your neck, tasting you and relishing in the saltiness of your skin. 

“ Mate. ” Jason grumbled the single syllable and moved through the safe house swiftly. 

The couch was destroyed. He didn’t want to take a chance and ruin the bed. It would be too hard to replace it given how difficult the world had become. 

“Uhh- Jay?” You looked at him, he was holding you up and looking around for something. “Is everything fine?” You asked gently.

Jason nodded one and set you down on your feet, padding around the place. Using most of the destroyed parts of the couch and the cushions, he created a small den. When he was satisfied with the comfort of the surface, he came back to you, nudging at the small of your back, begging you to lay down for him. 

“Okay, okay-” You laugh a little, “No pushing… yet .” You smiled at him, pulling off your clothes and moving to get comfortable on the pile of pillows, cushions and blankets. 

Watching you, his tail was swishing so quickly from side to side in excitement. His was chest heaving with heavy breaths as his keen eyes followed every move you made. 

Kneeling in the middle of it, you patted infront of you. Jason followed down immediately. His ears twitched with anticipation. His snout pressed at your knees and he inhaled deeply. Fuck- Your smell made his spine shiver and his chest puff up. 

His tongue lapped at your knees, up your thighs, begging for you to open your legs for him. You bit your lip and leaned back onto your hands, your legs opening a little more for him. He growled softly, your scent getting stronger by the second for him. His snout pushed further up, his large body hunching over you until you laid under him. Submitting to the beast. 

“ Mate .” He purred again, his paws wrapping around your waist and pulling you up at an angle that made you gasp. 

Your back was in the air and as soon as his tongue dragged across your pussy, his blood ran hot with liquid fire. 

His jaw closed around your pelvis and his tongue delved deep into your needy cunt. The sudden intrusion made your eyes roll back. You whimpered his name, your hands fisting at his fur, pulling and whining shamelessly.

Every pur, every growl he made, shivered up your spine and made you moan louder. And it only egged him on further. He was careful to not bite down too hard but the pretty noises you were making- they were making it very hard to keep it under control. He wanted so desperately to swallow you whole. 

His tongue circled at your clit and just as you’d buck against his mouth, he’d move it down and move it fuck you in the most torturously slow pace. His thick warmth was delving deep into you and you were so close to becoming a babbling mess. And you hadn’t even been knotted yet. 

You could feel his drool and your pussy juices dripping down your ass and up your back due to the angle he was holding you up at. You whined and moaned, but he wouldn’t let you cum. 

This was definitely payback for keeping the muzzle on him all day. 

Jason felt himself grow and harden as he devoured you, rutting against the floor to ease his ache. 

You held his fur by the fistfuls, arching, trying to move , to grind, to cum but he wouldn’t let up. His warm thick tongue pistoned in and out of your pussy at a relentless pace. And every time he’d feel your body almost reaching to the tip, he’d slow down again. You hurled curses at him, pulling his fur almost painfully but he didn’t care. 

You were finally under him and he was going to make you work for it. 

“Please-” You begged shamelessly, “I can’t take it anymore-” You were able to grab at an ear and pull harshly. 

Jason whined and pulled back, your body falling against the pillows with a soft plop . Your chest heaved as you caught your breath but he looked downright feral and annoyed at being made to pull off. He wiped his mouth, grinning and exposing his sharp teeth that had left dents into your skin. 

Looming over you, hunching and covering your entire frame, your eyes darted down to his cock. It was unsheathed and looked far redder than usual. One paw held you down by your hips, licking you so completely that you felt drenched . He purred at the taste of you and your body erupted in goosebumps when the air touched the wet skin. His tongue swirled at your nipples, nipping and sucking them so fully that his entire jaw was open against your chest. 

He pulled back just enough to admire your glistening skin. You smelled like him now. That’s exactly how he wanted you to be all the time . Wet, out of breath and his . 

Jason hummed in satisfaction and then his mouth descended onto yours. 

His tongue pushed into your mouth aggressively and his cock rubbed at your dripping cunt. He swallowed every needy sound you made and it only spurred him on more. With a sudden motion, he flipped you over and raised your hips into the air. You were putty in his hands and your desperate noises were a testament to that. 

Your pussy clenched at nothing, desperate for anything at all. His eyes zeroed in on it and growled with satisfaction. The vibrations of which rumbled through his chest and across your back. You arched more, pushing back, needing something- anything at all. 

The tapered tip of his cock pushed slightly into you, making you moan. 

No matter how many times you’d had him, every time, it felt new and different. The tip alone was so exciting. The tip being pointed and slowly easing into you, then the thickness increasing as he’d keep pushing. 

Jason was by no means small as a human- But as a beast? This felt so deep into you that you always felt the taste of his cum in the back of your throat. 

One arm was curled around your waist to keep you up against him as he bottomed out into you and the other, the claws were clenched tightly into the pillows and cushions under you as he tried his best to not push too quickly and too hard. 

He knew he could fuck you dumb one you were opened up enough for him but right now he had to be careful. He couldn’t break you. Not yet , at least. 

His chest rumbled again, the vibrations shivering through your spine as he buried himself to the hilt in you. He waited, letting you adjust, lapping at your neck and back in broad strokes. You gasped for air, your insides fluttering around his throbbing length. 

“ Please -” You whimpered, craving more- needing him to move. 

Jason slowly pulled out and just as the tapered tip was only in your pussy, he slammed back in. His balls slapping harshly against your clit. You cried out loudly, pain and pleasure swirling together so deliciously. It felt like he was splitting you into two but gods above , it felt heavenly to feel this much all at once.

The sounds that were escaping his mouth were becoming more and more animalistic by the second as he rutted into you mercilessly. You were a fleshlight at this point for him because if he hadn’t been holding you up, you would’ve been a mess on the floor already. 

With each thrust, he hit your cervix but it only sent a shivering sensation up your spine because the tip was soft and pointed. You moaned like a bitch in heat, matching his bestial pace. He leaned over, licking at your neck, craning your face back and lapping up the drool that was dripping from your mouth as you gasped every time he pistoned into you. 

You creamed his unsheathed red cock so perfectly- The smell of which was intoxicating to Jason. He grunted as he felt the base of his dick swell. 

You were so fucked dumb at this point, you weren’t even sure if you’d cum or not- or if you were simply so extremely overstimulated that every time he moved, your back arched and you mewled as if you were just as animal as him. 

Jason purred the same choppy word in growls again and again. Mate. Mate. Mate . 

His cock throbbed painfully as he continued his brutal assault into your cunt, your breath getting knocked out with every thrust. You gasped for air, your eyes rolling back, you weren’t sure if you were cumming or if you were about to pass out from absolute bliss. 

“ Mine- ” He growled against your ear and his spark teeth closed around your shoulder. 

You cried out at the harsh pain- His teeth didn’t break skin but it was still enough to make you dizzy. You felt yourself get stretched more again at his knot started to form.

Jason sat back on his hind legs and twisted you around to face him. You were a ragdoll in his hands as he held your smaller body in his massive paws and fucked you onto his cock like no tomorrow. 

His bright green eyes were locked onto yours. He couldn’t knot you unless you agreed. He held himself back- trying his best to not let go if you weren’t all here with him. You gave the tiniest of nods possible and that was all he needed. 

His tongue invaded your mouth, shoving deep into your throat as he moved your sloppy cunt up and down his red cock. With a final pull, he settled you down onto his knot and came. 

You felt like your insides were melting as he shot hot ropes of cum deep into you. Your head falling back and you crying out in painful pleasure. The stretch and the warmth mixing together so filthily. You could feel him dripping down your thighs but you were locked on and there was no going anywhere. 

Gently, Jason licked at your skin, nudging your face with his snout, making sure you were alright. You gave a barely audible hum and he relaxed slightly. He moved backwards and laid back into the den he’d made for you, letting you lay on top of him as his knot slowly subsided. 

He knew he’d help clean you up and help you sleep against his warm fur. But that was for later. 

For now, this was all he needed. You on top, locked onto him. 

. . . Fic Master List.

[ropebunnykant]

I've seen a lot of ppl frustrated at Kant/the Captain for meeting up outside the bar, but my take on it was that was a deliberate power play by CC (not that I don't think he's inept enough to do so out of sheer stupidity!) - Kant had clearly been ignoring his calls, as implied by his convo with Style and explictly seen in his convo with Bison (and when he says he's sick of his 'customer' flip-flopping and doesn't want to talk to him anymore, that's obviously a declaration of intent vis a vis continuing his relationship with the police), and what do cops do when their informants aren't co-operating? They pile on the pressure. And one way to do so is to turn up in front of their informants in public spaces, because they are happy to use the threat of blowing their cover as leverage - talk to us, or else we'll make sure everyone sees/knows what you are. Wouldn't surprise me if they had someone tracking Kant and CC sent him a message along the lines of 'either you come out or we come in.' Look at Kant's body language - he doesn't want to be there, he's frustrated, he's on edge, but at this point he's also visibly exhausted and probably on some level thinking slightly self-destructively - if he gets caught then at least it'll be over, at least CC can't use him anymore, at least he doesn't have to tell Bison himself and see with his own eyes what the truth does to him.

I know fandom in general is sympathetic to the ACAB sentiment, but I'm getting the feeling ppl don't fully appreciate just how fucked up the dynamic between a handler and an informant can be at the best of times, let alone when the handler is corrupt or at the very least abusing their position! I've seen (valid) accusations of grooming levelled against Lilly, but it's not something that only happens to children - all it takes is a significant power differential and someone who is at risk. And we've seen CC using the classic combo of praise and pressure - he switches from flattering Kant ('I know you can do this', 'you certainly lived up to my expectations') to threatening him (which goes beyond the initial outright blackmail - when he says stuff like 'you think they'll let you live once we arrest them?', that is a threat, that is him saying to Kant: we won't protect you - you quit now, you're on your own).

I really appreciated your tags on the height as power play thing, because that jumped out at me when I watched that scene, and it was so sad seeing Kant desperately trying to wrest back the upper hand and suddenly looking so much younger and more vulnerable as soon as CC stood up. And I admit we're veering into fanon rather than canon now, but it just makes me even more curious about his timeline - how old he was when he got caught? Did CC start off as a sort of quasi-father figure? Is that how he reeled him in? Did it begin, not with blackmail, but with manipulating Kant into wanting his approval? Perhaps my most burning question, however, is: what if this isn't even the first time he's been used as a honeytrap?? And I know it's most likely just First being incaptable of not having ridiculous chemistry with every single man who so much as breathes in his vicinity (let's face it, there's a reason the top three 'ghost ship' pairings on that poll are all First-based! But isn't it also because of the potential Kant brings as a character - the potential backstory tween him and Style/CC, the potential hate-sex with Fadel...), rather than anything deliberate but...the *vibes*! If you lean into that side of things and headcanon that yes, Kant did in fact fuck that cop, then phew, there is SO much to unpack there!

This is why I don't get viewers sleeping on Kant - imo he's the most interesting character! There are so many layers! Out of the main four, we probably know the least about him, and part of that is because we can't even trust that what we've ostensibly learned is even true! That whole riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma thing? That's him! And not even because he's that complicated a person deep down - most of the meta I've read here has, I reckon it'll turn out, already nailed it. It's just that a combo of the tricksy and subtle way he's been written/played and the narrative role he's been given requires us to do some of the legwork ourselves (by which I apparently mean, you know, actually paying attention and caring??) to determine what in his words/actions/feelings/face is authentic and what's not, and when, and why, etc (heaven forbid we have to read between the lines!). Maybe some more casual viewers aren't used to that in their bls, and I totally get that ppl go into shows for different reasons and some just want the light entertainment/aesthetic appreciation of it all and aren't interested in deep dives and 10,000 word analyses, and that's absolutely their prerogative! We've all been there! But equally, you don't then get to complain about the writing/acting/characterisation when, by choice, you've skipped/missed/misinterpreted what's being put onscreen (disclaimer: I'm not saying no criticism allowed - there's things I'd have tweaked - just not when it's unfounded cos it's based on viewer indifference/ignorance). I don't want to use the term 'spoon-feeding', it feels ungenerous, and yet...!

Eek, this got away from me. Long story short: don't underestimate the lengths CC will go to just to keep Kant dancing to his tune, including risking his cover by showing up outside his favourite bar!

first of all, thank you for such a long ask, i love getting things like this in my inbox and be prepared for an equally long essay of my own shskdhd i will put it under a cut since your ask in itself is pretty long, but i agree with everything you said basically

i feel like every complaint i hear about kant just leaves me so very baffled. like at a certain point, you’re just coming up with reasons to be mad at him. and like i really wish that people would just fess up to the fact that they just don’t like him. that fundamentally something about him annoys them and that’s okay! you don’t need to like every character, but it pisses me off when people try to justify their dislike of anything by pulling reasons out of their ass. and like, okay, i understand that i obviously over analyze the shit out media i enjoy, and there are a lot people that don’t do that and watch with their brain turned off or just don’t put all the little things together. and that’s fine, but if you’re gonna complain about things at least make sure you’re complaining accurately. like some people didn’t even realize that christ was a cop until ep6 and apparently thought kant was doing it all for money?? when in their FIRST scene together, it is made explicitly clear that not only is christ a cop, but that kant is being blackmailed into this in order to keep his brother in his custody. you may not personally agree with everything he does, you may disagree how much of a choice he has in everything he does, but that does not change his motivations or the power that christ holds over him - and if you don’t realize at least those things, it’s not even a matter of media literacy, you are just not paying attention! or you’re skipping scenes and like, im not telling you how to enjoy shows, if you wanna skip scenes go ahead! but you can’t then complain about things that aren’t actually happening just because you tried to piece together what happened in the scenes you skipped 💀

and this complaint is especially silly because not only does kant explicitly emphasize that he’s been avoiding the captain and therefore we can assume the captain showed up to put pressure on him, but i feel like it’s been made pretty obvious that he doesn’t really have a choice in the meet up spots regardless? like they either meet at the police station/christ’s office, or he shows up in places that kant already is to talk to him, like the pool or the bar. so, i feel like getting mad at kant for that is so stupid? especially considering even IF meeting at the bar had been kant’s decision… he didn’t know bison was gonna show up?? he thought bison was in hiding and it’s his friend’s bar, so it’s a perfectly reasonable place for him to be and to be willing to meet up with the captain like?? he could not have predicted bison showing up after disappearing for a week post-failed murder attempt. like be serious.

when it comes to the acab aspect, i think trying to dive into people’s actual beliefs on that is a can of worms that will not end well shskdhd but in the very least, looking at it from a media perspective, i think in general people expect us to be supposed to root for the cops. like whether or not what you personally believe, the general sentiment in most media is that the cops are the good guys - because that’s the way we’re trained to believe that in society at large, so more often than not, it’s assumed that the cops in most shows are the good guys.

however, when you walk into a show like the heart killers, where 3/4 of our main protagonists are criminals (two murders and a former car thief) and the genre is explicitly a romcom, you have to also understand that the cops in a show like that are not gonna be the good guys! and i think in general, you have to be willing to understand that your personal morals and beliefs are not going to line up with the things these characters are doing. this is a show about assassins! if you’re going to try and argue for who’s morally in the right or who’s the most fucked up one, maybe this isn’t the show for you. and that’s okay!

all that to say you SHOULD be suspicious of the captain and his intentions - you should not trust him as some morally good figure because he’s been explicitly shown to be blackmailing and manipulating kant in all of this! he is a villain, explicitly so. and while i know we don’t have an exact age for when kant’s parents died and he had to start raising babe or for when he got caught, it’s very safe to assume this has been a long time thing. kant says their dad died young, babe says that kant raised him, so kant had to have been young when he had to start taking care of babe, and i’m assuming also pretty young when he got caught for his car thefts. so, it would not at all shock me if the captain saw a young, college-aged kant, who’d just lost his father and was desperately trying to keep himself and his pre-teen brother afloat, and saw an opportunity to put on the mentor role and mold this kid into what he wanted and needed. i think the lilly comparison makes perfect sense - because we’ve already been shown time and time again the similarities between the captain and lilly and the ways they manipulate kant, bison, and fadel. this being another way theyre similar would be no shock to me.

nor would it be a shock if the captain also made the relationship sexual at some point and kant having daddy issues and therefore being into it makes perfect sense as well shskdhd like you said i think it’s a combo of first having insane chemistry with everyone but also just kant’s character making these dynamics interesting - which is why first was the perfect casting choice they could have made shskdhd kant’s character in general is exceptionally fascinating to me, but i feel like i’ve made that pretty obvious with all my kant posting, and i don’t get how anyone can just write him off or view him as being one dimensional in anyway when he has SO MANY layers to him. he’s incredibly complex and that’s what i adore about him.

[ahappydnp]

philm club rewatch #1

phil 7/21/12

detailed timestamp notes below the cut but my overall summary thoughts are

you could tell phil was still getting into the groove of liveshows so it's a little awkward and slow going in the first 15 minutes are so with lots of shoutouts and showing the camera random things. liveshows got sooo much better after just a year or so it's fascinating to watch them getting comfortable

mind boggling to think back to a time they were willing to show up to fan meetups and then made a point to state publicly why they weren't there AND share their location so openly constantly (obviously they were about to move but STILL they showed the outside of their flat So Much back then)

the juxtaposition of how naturally comfortable they were with each other (stealing hats, sharing food, having their little jokes and songs) vs. them remembering the chat and having to recalibrate (i don't want to procreate with you)

i'm gonna be sooooo real i still spent the entire hour kicking my legs and twirling my hair and having to pause to compose myself because that's my phil like that was my guy and it brought back all those giddy feelings :3

i love them both so dearly and i love that era despite the bad rep it gets in fandom now because it was also so exciting and new but they were growing up together and taking on the world like 2012 WAS dnp vs. the world and dnp won <3333

0:28- agrees to marry a girl and a boy

1:38- final broadcast from manchester!! moving to london

2:40- stressed bc logistics for moving (he’s trying to be a grown up). interesting that he is taking the reigns on coordinating and not dan 

6:27- PIGEON NOISE MY BELOVED

8:50- phil refers to processed ingredients as “skanky stuff”. sure. 

11:59- he's gonna put lion in his backpack during the move 😭😭 he doesn’t want to lose him

15:01- dan jumpscare popping into defending phil for not showing up to a meet up 

16:21- dan gives him an A star….girl

21:30- american phil i haaaaate it i hate it i hate it

21:57- “everyone just says awkward for everything now” okay this but now everyone says “help??” in the replies of every tweet WHAT DOES IT MEAN???

22:35- cornelia playing harpsichord at phil’s parents 

24:42- phil attempts a guest broadcast with a fan and he’s being so cute despite the horrors

28:42- they’re going to see muse again 😭😭 

30ish- fanfiction segment i love his brain

33:55- dan gets caught playing gw2 and not packing asdfghjl. omg their apartment is a mess they stress me out 

34:39- the way they used to show off their exact locations was truly a time like girl internet safety!!

35:21- he still wants to call his children jack and emily (cuts quickly to mo and slyvester lester joke and i won’t think too hard about what that means with this also being the era of dan being SO deadset on having 2 or 3 children like god they were just babies with dreams)

37:14- phil thinks max the guest is australian and has The Biggest Grin phil you slag ilysm and now he’s promoting him hard lmao

39:57- drawing game. he went too fast i couldn’t keep up so i stopped. unfortunate slur from the chat. 

44:38- had to check his tumblr archive to see the kstew gif he mentioned and found a mv a fan did of the manchester flat to i will always love you phil reblogged (phannies never change)

45:27- sneak peak of the “new” apartment WHAT IF I SOBBED!!!! the first london flat…god they had no idea what’s coming and all the things that will happen in that house ;___; living with danisnotonfire who is through that wall and Not Packing (married babies)

46:24- NEW I LOVE YOU FOR THE ILY SPREASHEET FUCK YEAH!!!

46:41- he’s getting a bit annoyed at the go get dan comments and it’s such a specific shift in vibes which makes sense because this was younow and god knows what that chat was also saying 

48:57- omg it’s danisnotonfire! what are you doing here get out of my house (you’re the same person dot gif) also sooo funny they already had their sides™️

50:36- that iconic dan hair push up and swoop is simultaneously the most comforting/nostalgic and single most anxiety inducing motion of all time

52ish- they’re sooo low energy in this one but it’s still comforting 

53:35- these two…

57:52- phil putting things on dans head because of course he does and taking dans thing because of course he does

58:00- i am not immune to phil in the trapper hat. 

58:24- them seeing all the screenshots and immediately making jokes (fun little note for those who don’t know is younow would have a pop up everytime someone took a snapshot so they knew every time they were being archived which had to have been a specific kind of hell and also what a shit feature??) their skin molecules are touching 

1:01:48- quite possibly the single most controversial shirt dan has ever owned. people haaaatedddd it for years (now im just soft bc its nostalgic)

1:04:06- dan and alexander mcqueen 4ever truly lmao also phil immediately having an opinion on the one he liked dan in better 

1:04:44- "dan played it on repeat all yesterday" “whenever i get sad i listen to it” :(( dan

1:05:15- dans fashion opinions haven’t changed and also the start of them being So conscious of revealing what they spend their money on because fans “didn’t like” when they spent a lot of money on things

1:05:46- we made it an hour before they read a gay comment but he’s handling it better than usual. phil saying “ don’t go there”

1:08:05- dan is STILL yapping about the hat god i love him he simply must elucidate 

1:09:29- aweeee a fanboy <333 he’s their love child (except dan reminds phil they’re not down to procreate with each other)

1:10:24- i love that phil has always thrown a random question at people to ease the tension like it’s suuuch a phil thing to ask what your worst fear is when you’re feeling awkward 

[justhereforthecupcakes]

I don’t believe Daniel went to Silver because he thought he was protecting Mr. Miyagi, but because he felt as if Silver was the only willing to help him.

Mr. Miyagi DID turn his back on Daniel. And it’s not like Daniel was keeping quiet. Daniel tried telling him, but he kept ignoring the situation.

It wasn’t until he saw with his own eyes what Silver, Kreese and Barnes were doing, that he finally realized the gravity of the situation that Daniel had been trying to relay to him this whole time.

That’s a scary reaction that’s carried over to the series and has become a very disturbing trend from characters towards Daniel — not listening… turning their backs on him… blaming him… then riding in at the very last minute.

Daniel only keeps quiet when it becomes clear they are not interested in hearing him or helping him. It’s not until he’s in dire straits do they finally get their head out their asses, but also have the fucking nerve to ask/say “Why didn’t he tell us? I’ve never seen him so defeated.”

Really, bitch?

But back to the main point.

What makes Silver so incredibly creepy and scary is that he specifically targeted Daniel.

*Daniel* was the motive — not the circumstances, him.

Johnny was being a bully, yes; but he wasn’t looking to destroy Daniel personally. He just wanted to feel powerful and get Ali back. It was teenage insecurity (among many other things, yes I know)… and the fact that his attitude towards Daniel has continued well into adulthood is just plain immaturity. (This is whole other topic I could discuss at lengths, but there are treasure troves of posts that articulate this point much more eloquently and thoroughly than me.)

Chozen’s hate was motivated by wanting to prove something to his Uncle, the village, and ultimately himself. That was there long before Daniel. And, clearly, he grew out of this… and into a very very handsome man… where were we?

Barnes just wanted a pay out. It was never personal with Daniel.

Their motives were honestly not about Daniel, himself.

In Silver’s case… I mean holy shit!

Daniel himself is the actual focus, and it was on such a disturbing level… and this was someone who, not only was he a just a kid, he was someone Silver had never met!

Imagine someone you have NEVER in your life met, has such an intense hate and motivation to destroy you… over something so ridiculous.

I disagree that Terry’s intentions were ‘muddled,’ they are exactly what you would expect from a stalker and narcissist.

Ironically TKK3 got it right in portraying someone with a personality disorder hyped by a cocaine addiction in Terry (the manic energy, the unstable personality, the psychotic tendencies, the crazy laugh), and portraying a stalking victim in Daniel, even though it’s clear they weren’t aiming for that.

The internal conflict comes from lack of support. Daniel was living under daily threats of violence and attacks — at a level he’d never experienced. This boy was being terrorized and all of it was orchestrated by Terry, who then (under the guise of being helpful) manipulated him into handling those emotions in ways that were harmful — and as a teenager, he was not going to be able to see that or fight it.

What you’re seeing is a victim who felt powerless against his stalkers and the entire situation, the one person who shoulda been helping him had his head up his ass (he was not as ignorant as the fandom likes to pretend he was), and then his actual abuser comes along and manipulates him into feeling empowered again.

Finally after prolonged fear and terror, there’s a lifeline. This is the answer to his prayers. This is gonna solve the situation. He’s gonna be okay.

And then — to his utter horror — no, he’s not in control, he’s even more out of control. Not only is the problem not even close to being solved, he’s in even more danger than he realized and the source of that danger was someone he never suspected.

Terry Silver was a terrible lesson for a very young Daniel about how dangerous and manipulative people can be. And how insane their motivations can be — a high school karate tournament.

He came across a true predator who wanted to do unspeakable damage to him.

What’s worse is, after all these years, he still has this obsession.

It’s very evident with how he treats others versus Daniel. No matter how many other people get involved, he does not focus on them the way he does Daniel.

Look at Chozen — You could say Chozen “betrayed” Terry, since Daniel turned the tables and tricked him with the exact same ploy Silver used on him all those years ago… a hero/friend riding in to help… and it worked, Terry was set to be his friend and partner, until Chozen accidentally gave himself away.

For this alone, you could say he has reason to target Chozen… he very clearly was jealous towards Johnny… and yet, he continues to all but ignore them. He practically ignored Mr. Miyagi in KK3, when it was very clear Kreese’s hate was geared more towards ‘the old man’ than ‘the kid’. It was Terry that wanted to focus on Daniel.

What we saw in TKK3 was stalking, and every action/reaction we see in Daniel is exactly what you see in a victim of stalking/terrorism.

And Silver cops to that, he openly admits he “terrorized a teenager over a high school karate tournament.”

I feel like Terry does have regrets in that he lost the opportunity to have Daniel as a friend. Even if he doesn’t have a high opinion of him, some part of him understands that, of all the people he knows, Daniel is the one person who would have been a true friend to him... this man, who has no real friends… the one thing he’s always wanted, and could have had, but lost…

But, over the course of the series, you see him come to the realization that it wasn’t Daniel lying to himself, it was Terry… that he doesn’t feel sorry for what he’s done to Daniel, and never did… that he enjoyed it, and he will continue to do it for as long as he can… perhaps (this is just my speculation) he’s never felt more alive than when he’s stalking Daniel. HE felt powerful and free, that whole scene in the convenience store was pure projection and manipulation.

Terry is, at his core, an addict, and somewhere along the way he got addicted to Daniel.

SPOILERS BELOW

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Based on the spoilers that Silver is dying… my theory: I think Silver wants Daniel to kill him. I think he’s trying to maneuver Daniel into killing him.

Based on TIG’s interview, he does recognize Daniel as a worthy adversary.

Not only will he die on the battlefield as a warrior like he was meant to (… yeah, okay), but he will succeed in finally making Daniel into something he never wanted to be — a killer... “You got that killer instinct!”… and he will cement that change he intended to make in Daniel and finally finish what he started all those years ago…

But he will fail. He will literally die trying, 😂.

I think Daniel will have him on his knees…. Honk his nose, and walk away. Because for a man with no forgiveness in heart, living is even worse punishment than dying. And because the roots are strong, so the tree will survive.

ok the reason i think silver is such a good villain isnt because of his cartoon-evil cheesiness or his character theme (although those certainly do contribute to it). the reason i think hes so good is what his presence means for daniel's character. throughout the tkk movies (and you can see it continue in ck) there's this really heavy importance put into the lessons that the students learn from their teachers. you see it with mr miyagi and daniel, you see it with kreese and johnny, you see it with sato and chozen. in the latter two cases, you can see the negative light of this, how a teacher with an inherently bad philosophy can carry over to how their student acts. kreese teaches johnny to be unforgiving and merciless so that's what johnny ends up being. sato is fueled by his anger at mr miyagi even years later and thus chozen is an all-around angry little dude that wants to kill daniel.

but in tkk3 you do not get a two-part villain dynamic like this! instead it's daniel who learns under a bad teacher and is taught all the wrong lessons from them. i think this theme is particularly hardlined by the fact that silver deliberately tries to separate daniel and mr miyagi so that he can become a presence in daniel's life. "there's no such thing as a bad student, only a bad teacher" is something that daniel hasnt experienced at all up until silver takes mr miyagi's place. and this sets up a really interesting internal conflict for daniel that you dont see in the previous movies. you have his inherent kindness + what he's learned from mr miyagi vs the conflicting things he's currently learning from silver. and it causes him to doubt/be frustrated with himself as he isolates himself more and more; he doesnt know whats right anymore, he's angry at himself for how he doesnt know, and thus a part of him doesn't trust himself to be around the people he cares about .

essentially: in tkk3, daniel isn't fighting against a fellow karate student that might have turned out different if they had a better/more forgiving teacher. barnes has always been like that™ from the beginning, even without silver hiring him. daniel's main battle in the movie is with himself, because he is the one that takes the role that was filled by chozen in tkk2 and johnny in tkk1 before that. and it's actually kinda heartbreaking to see bc, again, daniel is a really nice kid and he's unknowingly being manipulated into becoming someone he's not, and he has to struggle to find the person he is again through the midst of all of this .

i think from the beginning the entire reason silver wanted to train daniel wasn't just so that he could separate him from mr miyagi or cause daniel to hurt himself or even teach him to be more like him. it was mainly to construct the internal conflict that i talked about earlier. he knows that his and miyagi's philosophies are fundamentally incompatible and that daniel doesn't really want to hurt anyone. so when daniel takes enough of silver's training to heart to punch a dude in the nose, silver is ecstatic—not because daniel took out his rage on someone, but because of the meltdown that daniel has afterwards. it's why when daniel confronts him about it silver has no qualms about revealing that he's the one that hired barnes and that surprise daniel its been me thats been ruining your life all along. because that part of his plan is essentially done. he has already caused the big emotional damage and from there on out its only a matter of "beat the shit out of this child at the karate tournament". yeah his intentions are kinda weird and muddled (thank you to ck for clearing it up and saying he was high on cocaine the entire time) but you cant deny that his character does a LOT for daniel's arc in this movie .

also kinda unrelated but. love how daniel ends up following silver in the first place primarily bc he got manipulated into thinking "mr miyagi will get hurt if i don't do this/i'm not strong enough to defend him against barnes". it makes me feel feelings and emotions. like daniel just loves his karate dad so much he'll give up being his student if it means his stupid dream tree business can succeed. daniel my son /affectionate. im about to fall over and die

[romana-after-dark]

Fleshlight

Dark!Scott Summers x fem!reader x Logan Howlett

(Includes some Scogan)

Join my taglist : Masterlist

Buy Me A Coffee : Kofi : Go Fund Me

My submission #2 for Dead Dove December! there is still plenty of time, so I hope I can see at one or more other Oscar isaac Submissions and maybe a logan submission! Also, I love every single of the Pedro submissions, you are all so amazing!!!

Summary: After Jean dies, Scott blames anyone and everyone, and he hates that Logan has moved on and is happy. He wants to take that happiness, he wants to be able to forget, and he wants to know what Logan had that Jean wanted so much...

Warnings: SCOTT IS DARK! He non con/dub cons reader and also Logan, in different ways. I don't want to spoil things so just be aware THIS IS DARK! multiple themes here at play. Cucking Logan howlett tee hee. Put him in the cuck chair!!

DDDNE dividers by @clawdee

3.2 words

A/N: I tagged the logan tag list, but this isn't strickly or even really much logan x reader so if its not for you, don't feel like you gotta read it.

Tumblr does not have an algorithm. Although likes are always appreciated, and comments are what keep me writing, reblogs are how work is spread. things are not pushed by the site based on how mnay likes they get. Please consider reblogging, thank you <3

Jean was dead.

And Scott was a mess.

It had been a year now, and Scott refused to move on, refused to make a new life for himself. Somehow, Scott blamed himself, blamed Logan, and blamed anyone who was stupid enough to try and comfort him. Logan’d near taken off his head when he shouted at Rogue, finding some convoluted reason it was her fault. Logan had grown tired of his moping and how everyone just tip-toed around him. He had tried, really tried to be nice; he told Scott that Jean chose him, but that didn’t help, and despite trying a few times to comfort him or talk to him in a drunken stupor, Scott only replied with a mix of ‘fuck off’ and insults.

So, logan stopped trying, and he stopped moping with Scott. Instead, he found homeless a pretty little girlfriend. You!

That only seemed to make Scott worse.

So it wasn’t surprising when Logan found him downing booze in the staff kitchen. He wasn’t supposed to have it, but no one really had the heart to tell him to keep alcohol off school grounds. 

“You buy’n, Slim?” Logan tried to joke, grabbing two water bottles instead from the fridge.

Scott replied with a humorless laugh. “Don’t you have your girl to get back to?”

“Yeah.” he held two water bottles in his large hand, giving them a shake and winking. “Gotta keep her hydrated after the last 2 hours.”

He didn’t expect the depressed, tired man to slam him against the counter. Face to face, breath to breath, Logan was closer to Scott than he’d ever been, feeling him right there against him, Scotts lean but firm chest against Logan’s own white tank top. Up close, Scott looked worse off than he’d seemed; which was already bad. He was pale as always, but now his skin was sunken and damn near gray. Darkness peaked from under his visor.

“It’s not fair, y’know that?” Scott said, his voice barely above a whisper; it was an earthy gravel, like his voice had to claw its way out from rubble just to get here. “You get to just move on, and I’m stuck with this.”

“Don’t act like you don’t love your martyr act,” Logan sneered. “Like you aren’t making a fetish out of your sadness! She wouldn’t want you to be so fucking miserable you drop 30 pounds and smell like jose and puke! Jesus Scott,” he shoves at the young man, but not hard enough to push him away. “This isn’t for her, this is so that you can feel sorry-”

Lips on lips, chest to chest, crotch to swelling crotch Scott kissed him. It was hard, angry, not passion to it but a searching, a longing. Logan didn’t kiss back, and once his initial shock faded into recognition, Logan used his strength to shove Scott back. Hard.

The sound of Scott hitting the table and crashing to the floor probably would wake half the mansion, but Logan didn’t help the situation by yelling. 

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!”

“I’m not an idiot!” Scott shouted back from the floor, looking pathetic. “I know why she liked you, I’m not fucking blind, but christ, I was supposed to be her husband! HER HUSBAND! And she wanted YOU! You took her from me! And now you get to just move on and fuck your little toy while I’m miserable!”

Logan, breathing heavy still, took out a cigar and a lighter as he stared down at him. “I’m giving you a break because all this?” He waves the lit cigar in his direction. “Is pathetic. But touch me again, or call my girl anything shitty and I’ll claw out intestines and feed them to you.”

*

It had been a week since the incident, but Logan couldn’t get it out of his head. What the hell was wrong with Scott? What, he couldn’t kiss Jean so he kissed the last person who had? Idiot. Fucking idiot. He hadn’t even seen him since, and thank fuck for that. 

Logan was returning from another trip to the kitchen, this time some food to give you energy for continuation of your marathon sex. 

“Hey baby, I got you pizz-” He saw you in your little robe, sat on Scott’s lap, little lip quivering.

“Logan!” You cried for him, and Logan nearly made mad dash to rip you from the fucker and rip his throat out, but he hesitated when he saw Scott was wearing his visor.

The fucker smirked. “I wouldn’t.” He referenced Logan’s unsheathed claws. “Not unless you’d like your girl without a head.”

Fresh tears came from your face as Scott snaked a hand around your waist. 

“What the fuck do you want?” Logan gritted out.

“Close the door and take a seat.”

With slow movements, but doing what he was told, Logan shut the door to his bedroom and sat at the chair facing the bed. He didn’t normally think Scott was capable of cold blooded murder of an innocent, but he hadn’t been himself lately. Who knew what he was capable of? 

“Okay, I’m in the damn chair, now let her go.”

 Scott didn’t pay any attention, tucking his face in the crook of your wet neck and smelling your skin and hair. “Pretty little toy you got here, huh? Must be nice…” His hand around your waist nudged over the loose robe, revealing your skin.

“Scott, fucking stop or I swear to God-”

“You have no control here, Logan.” His eyes snapped up to the anxious older man. “You try to hurt me, I’ll kill her and you.”

“Don’t hurt him, please!” Your sniffle pulls his attention to you again. “What do you want? Please, just don’t hurt him.”

“Baby-”

“I want my wife back.”

*

You hear Logan growl in frustration; his knuckles whitening as he grips the table. “She’s not coming back!”

You worry that Logan’s temper and sharp words are escalating the situation, but Scott still speaks evenly. “I know. I know… but we have her, don’t we?” he reached up and squeezed your breast, and you cringe in embarrassment.

“We don’t have anything!”

“Well, you don’t. Not right now, anyway. But I have her, and oh, baby…” His voice drops an octave, and you can feel the swelling in his pants pressed against your ass. “I’m gonna make good use.”

You knew what would happen. What you had to let happen to keep each of you alive. Scott was going to fuck you.

“GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER!” Logan began to stand, but then Scott fired up his visor, ready to shoot. Logan backed down.

“It’s okay.” You whisper, wet eyes locking with Logans. “Just- just let it happen, Lo.”

“He won’t get away with it, baby, I promise, I’ll fucking-”

Logan was interrupted by a loud moan as Scott spread your legs, feeling the wetness inside you. “Still this tight after Logan took you? What the matter, sweetheart, big guy not working for much?”

Scott had your legs locked around his knees, spreading you open for Logan to watch as the robe dismantled down your shoulders. Logan was scowling.

“Bigger than you, Slim.” He spat.

Turning to you and nuzzling his nose at your shoulder, Scott mutters “I think the lady doth protest too much.” And chuckles to himself. 

His fingers were deep inside you, and you cursed the way your body betrayed you. It wasn’t your fault, Logan had made you cum 5 times already, but always left you wanting more, your cunt dripping with your arousal and his spend as you lay spread out on the bed. Even as Logan searched for food while you rested, you couldn’t take your hands away from your pussy. That’s how Scott found you.

Your thighs flex as your cunt spasms; Scott notices and laughs. The pelasure was dizzing, and you hated that he felt so fucking good. “Eager little toy, considering the circumstances, aren’t you? What the matter, Logan can’t take care of you? Big man wanted to steal my wife, but can’t make his whore cum?” Scott picks you up, and you’re surprised by his strength as he stands and tosses you on the bed, robe now splayed out underneath you and over the tousled blue sheets. 

With a smug, lopsided grin that was borderline charming, Scott looks down at you, holding up 2 dripping fingers. At first, you thought he was making fun of you for getting so wet, but as he loomed over you, popped up with just the strength of one arm, you see the white swirled in with you.

“This all Logan’s got for you, little toy? I think a pretty doll like you deserves more than a few little spurts. Don’t you worry, baby, I’ll take care of you.” Then, turning to lock eyes with Logan, Scott licks the seething man's cum off his fingers, grinding his erection between your legs.

*

It didn’t take long Scott to be butt naked, sliding his uncut tip between your folds. Quickly, you pant, and you hope Logan thinks it’s from being nervous, because it somewhat is… you hope he can’t see into your mind with those little powers of his…

“I want my toy to beg for it.” Scott says, his voice husky above you. He looks good like this, his slim body muscled still, more defined abs and pecs than Logan but lacking in the arms. Logan had great arms. And his back, oh my god, watching Logan take off his shirt from behind… Scott must’ve seen you drifting, so his large hands gripped your chin. “I said beg for it, toy.”

“Mmm mm” You shake your head, Scotts grip on you too tight to talk. 

Logan’s voice calls to you. “Baby.” You turn to him. “It’s okay.”

But you don’t relent, unable to take the humiliation. “Fine.” Scott sits back on his haunches. “Let’s try something else.”

Your body was already worked up from him finger fucking you, and your skin sensative from the rub of Logan’s beard earlier, so when Scotts fingers found your clit, you can’t help but yelp.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk” Scott teases. “Toys should be played with, not heard…” He begins to expertly play with your clit with his nimble fingers, learning quickly what made your eyes cross.

“I- I’m not a toy…” You try to argue, even are your orgasm begins to swell from where the finger fucking left off.

“Sure you are, that’s what you are to Logan”

Logan from the chair. “No, it’s not!”

“SHUT THE HELL UP” Scotts viser glowed, and as Logan shouted no, he burst open window to the room. Glass shattered on the floor, and for a moment the only sound were the birds outside. Neither you nor Logan dared move. In his burst of rage, Scott slaps your pussy. It stings, it fucking stings so bad but christ, it feels good. He goes back to his little game. “You’re a toy to him. Jean was a toy,” He’s breath, worked up. “He’s a user, and he’ll use you until you’re dead too.” 

Warmer, wetter, up, up, up your orgasm began to crest, read to cum despite the fear, despite your boyfriend watching. It didn’t matter at the moment. Up, and up, and up until- Scott pulled away, leaving your tense body shaking. Down, down, down… 

“You’re not coming on another but my cock, fleshlight.” Scott rubbed his dick on your folds again. “Toy’s don’t get pleasure, they give it. Are you ready to beg?”

Still shaking, your stomach cramping from the unpleasurable near-orgasm, you barely gather enough thought to whisper, “No.”

“Fine by me. I’ll just keep playing with you until you’re ready.”

Logan’s voice seemed far away now, telling him to stop, telling him it’s enough, he made his point… but you knew he didn’t yet.

Again and again, Scott took you right to the edge, right to wear your stomach tight, legs tensed, cunt clenched down on nothing and then- gone. Over, and over, until tears were spilling from your eyes, your clit aching in overstimulation, your sopping wet hole begging for release you couldn’t give. It hurt, all your muscles cramping and aching and there was no end in sight. Scott seemed to enjoy it. Still rock hard, every time you came down from a ruined orgasm, it was ready to go, ready to prode at your entrance, waiting until you begged for it. It felt like hours, although you knew it hadn’t been that long.

Until Scott threatened Logan, you wouldn’t give him that.

“C’mon, little fleshlight…” He teases you, tapping the tip of his cock repeatedly against your swollen clit. “Beg for it.”

“N-no.” You refuse, sobbing in pain, the agonizing torture and embaresment of the pleasure you did feel swelling up inside you. “I wo-”

“Fuck her.” Logan’s voice pulls you over to the corner, where you see him, jaw clenched. “I want you to fuck her, Scott. Please.” For a moment, you’re confused at what he’s doing but then you get it. He’s saving you the humiliation of begging, but he can’t take watching you suffer anymore. Logan slides off the chair, dropping to his knees. “Please fuck her, Scott. Let’s just end this.”

You give Logan a small smile. Groveling is not what he does, but he is for you. 

“Come here.” Scott beckons and Logan starts to stand, but Scott stops him. “Nuh uh. Hands and knees. No funny business. I’ll end us all right here.”

Cheeks burning, Logan crawls to the bed, clearly trying to stop himself from clawing Scott. Even if Logan got a stab or two in, it would take seconds for Cyclops to laser either of you, or harm some innocent person in the building; clearly, he was a man who felt he had nothing to lose, who knew what he’d do.

Knelt at the side of the bed, Logan looked up at Scott, his auburn hair falling over his forehead. Scott placed two fingers, fingers that smell distinctly of you, at his lower lip. “Beg me to fuck you.”

Logan swallows hard, Adam's apple bobbing. “Fuck me, Scott.”

With a satisfied grin, Scott slid his cock inside you. It was a stretch, the thick girth of him still not as much as Logan, but longer. Fuck, he felt good. You were so sensitive, you thought you could feel every vein of Scott’s cock. Whimpering and whining around him, your pussy drooling with relief, you see that Scott isn’t even paying attention. Instead, he’s staring intently into Logans eyes as he pushes his fingers into his mouth at the same pace her enters you. Logan, for his part, gazed up at Scott with a borderline entranced look.

As Scott fucked you, her fingers went in an out of Logan’s mouth at the same time. In. Out. In. Out. 

Logan’s pants were tighter than usual.

Scott barely acknowledged you, looking only at Logan, muttering things to him so quiet only Logan’s hearing could pick up, even if you had the ability to focus.

All you can here from Logan is a quiet, repeated whisper of “It was my fault. It was was my fault.” But you didn’t know what.

 Scott felt so good inside you, hitting deeper than Logan could, hitting places you didn’t know were reachable by cock. In a way, it was better. You didn’t have to look at the man assaulting you; he was nothing, he wasn’t there, he was a dildo inside you, unattached to a person, right? Right?

So why did you feel like the toy?

And why did you like it?

Whatever was happening between Logan and Scott right now, you weren’t so much on the outside, you were the barrier. You were the thin film that prevented this from being gay, that prevented Scott from throat fucking Logan even as your boyfriend gag with him knuckles disappearing past his lips. You were the condom. You were the “no homo”, in Scotts head. He fucked you, but he was imagining Logan.

You were the fleshlight.

Despite all this, there was something so new about Logan on his knees, something sick inside of you opening up that you liked seeing him, all 6 feet and adamantium and tough bravado drooling and gagging and fucking hard for Scott. He looked good like this. You even liked the little bit of fear in his eyes.

Scott snapped back to you. “Pretty little toy, aren’t you? Does it make you wet to see your boyfriend on his knees?”

Lost in it all, you roll your eyes back, only barely getting out a yes and pleasure begins to over take you. You were so close, your cunt tightening with little spasms around Scott as you begged him not to stop this time. Scott pulls his fingers out Logan and grabs him by his curled up hair, pulling him to your puffy mound. 

“Suck on her and touch yourself, Logan. We’re all doing this together, or not at all.”

*

It did not take Logan long to catch up; it was seconds, in fact, because he was ready to bust in his pants just with hearing Scott fuck you, the wet smell of your pussy, the fingers in his mouth he imaged a cock, and the filthy, degrading shit Scott whispered to him. He never thought he’d get off to being called subhuman, a disgusting animal, to being made fun of for what Scott perceived Logan couldn’t do for you, but Logan didn’t think he could get harder.

He liked feeling weak, for once. He liked knowing he was at Scotts mercy. He liked knowing you were at Scotts mercy and he was powerless to stop any of it. Logan didn’t feel powerless often. It was… freeing.

The three of you cum at the same time, Logan sucking hard on your clit and feeling as you writhe and twitch, feeling Scott hipbone ram into him as he filled you up with load after load of his cum in your guts while Logan squirted out pathetically onto the wood floor instead.

When it ended, ended with a cry and the final sound of Scotts balls against your ass, Scott collapsed onto the bed.

Just a slight bit, you scooted towards him, not away, and Scott wrapped an arm around you as he cried. It didn’t feel like a cry of sadness, but of relief. Scott had snapped, that dark side of him that he tried too hard to hide under his pristine exterior for Jean came out, and he had gotten Logan to admit it. 

Her death was his fault.

Logan knew this, because he felt the same. The same relief, being able to just… let go. And to just it, just admit out loud it was his fault Jean was dead, he should’ve stopped her, he should’ve done more, more, more. He should have done more to protect you, to stop Scott…  But with this, he didn’t have to do anything. He just had to let it all go.

It was his fault, and he never felt more free.

This was Logan’s chance. Scott was distracted, he could pretty easily decapitate him…

Logan made no move.

He bent over licking his cum from the floor.

Thanks for reading!!! looking forward to reading more of your ddd entries!

THERE IS STILL TIME! if you have an idea and want to enter it, just reach out with how much time you need! i probs wont have a masterlist until middle January to February. Thanks!

I appriciate you all so much! I've had a hard time lately with being sick, a car accident, relapsing on SH, and work issues. I havn't been writing as much, and im sorry. for that. Just know I appriciate the love you give so much, it means the world and i hope nothing but the best for you!

if you like scott, consider reading Our Gentle Sins. there no scott x reader, but he's the only sane person in this story.

more dark scott? heres a short piece!

Tagging the logan taglist, even though this isnt really logan x reader.

@soundofmassconfusion @miraclesabound @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @hornystan @del-ightfulling @madamerubrum @journal3sposts @tomhockstetter7-111 @and-claudia @yeaiamme2 @xoxabs88xox

[rise-my-angel]

every fucking person in this fandom hates brandon and i have no idea why 😭 like sure, barbrey dustin alluded that he liked sex rough but that doesn't make anyone evil. i cant believe that's something i have to explain to people. people forget that 1) barbrey was talking about it as something she enjoyed 2) she was only guessing that brandon liked it too 3) barbrey dustin is by no means an objective account of anything. seriously people are so quick to hate on him when hes a dead man who is rarely talked about 💀💀 the only times we recieve any actual info about him is either from the mouth of his lover whos a bitter old widow, the words of the obsessive maniac who challenged him to a duel and was severely beat up, or in the thoughts of his heavily traumatised brother. none of whom can serve as objective outlooks as to what kind of person he was, his traits and complexities. the guy is dead. the only concrete thing we know about him is that he was arrested for trying to save his little sister and was murdered when trying to save his father. which is enough for me.

I think because we never know anything of Brandon until after he's dead, it's really easy for people to project onto him.

A lot of people I think take what they perceive as flaws in the Starks and put them all onto him as if he was the epitome of everything wrong with the Starks, when in reality the most notable thing Brandon did in his life, was not hesitate to ride to Kings Landing to save his sister, and was murdered for it.

He got into a duel and mutiliated Petyr Baelish for life? Well, Petyr personally challenged him first, and when Brandon won, instead of killing him as is tradtion for that sort of challenge, he listened to the pleading of his betrothed, and spared his life. Yes he left a scar, but the alternative was ending his life and Brandon chose to fufill the wish of the woman he was going to marry, telling us that he valued Catelyn's wishes and did things to make her happy.

Barbrey Dustin is an unreliable narrator, because she is so bitter towards the Starks and Ned specifically, that it is very hard to know what she says is real and what is being said after being built up in her mind for decades of bitter resentment. She resented that Rickard Stark didnt betroth Brandon to her, and I think she somewhat resented the fact that he didn't fight it and he happily accepted the to be wife he was to have in Catelyn. Barbrey has a very skewed image of Brandon because she refuses to see him in any light but through the bitter lens of once lovers, instead of seeing him as the man he was outside of her.

Ned feels guilt that he wasn't closer with Brandon. The only reason they weren't as close was because they were both sent by their father as wards to two far away places. Brandon in Barrowton where he met Barbrey, and Ned in the Eyrie. He wishes they had more time together and it's clearly why he doesn't send any of his children away as wards. Brandon is literally the reason why Ned raises Jon and Robb the way he does. He wants Jon and Robb to be what he and Brandon never had a chance to be, each others closest companions. Ned would've stood by Brandons side as his closest advisor and he raised Jon to be that for Robb because he wanted them to have what he and Brandon didnt get a chance too. Ned knew Brandon best, he wouldn't wish he could've had those chances if Brandon were a bad person.

We know so little of his person, but a lot of people project their greivances onto him and exaggerate the details as if to justify why they hate him so much. In reality, we don't know enough about Brandon to say what he was truly like, but it also means we don't know enough about him to actually hate him.

They hate what they've decided he stands for, and not what he's actually done. Which is bravely ride to face the royal family beside his father to rescue his little sister, and died for it.

People think we don't know enough about Brandon to like him, but we do know enough about Brandon, to understand why you shouldn't hate him. But people do anyways, because thats easier then acually crediting that Brandon was probably a man who was nuanced and multi layered and not the short tempered meat head womanizer people have decided was all he ever was.

[velvetvexations]

"Trans women are women" used to be seen as this radical stance, a stance against the exceedingly popular standrd cis belief of "trans women are men" Now we're expected to believe that whole push was a lie? That "trans women are spicy women" is a belief that transmisogynists have? Transmisogynists?? The ones adamant about misgendering trans women as men? That's been their whole thing in fact...? They believe trans women are women and hate THAT?

They're just lying because it's fun to be mean to women. Such is the true beliefs of TRFs.

I wish I could submit a Patrick's wallet meme to you on anon because I swear every trf argument I see about how trans people are TOTALLY seen as our actual genders by cishet society really does feel like: "Terfs keeps creaming about how much they despise men and manly features, going so far as calling features usually belonging to people AMAB disgusting in great detail be they on women or men, correct?" "Yep." "And they talk in depth about how testosterone is poison and will turn you into a monster, correct?" "Uh-huh." "They speak regularly of how even male infants are evil, and cisgender lesbian separatism is the only way for women to be safe, you've noticed?" "They sure do." "And it's not just terfs either - plenty of transphobic talking heads otherwise all over the political spectrum conceptualize trans people as people 'pretending' to be the 'opposite' gender, as I'm sure you've seen?" "Yeah, I'm real sick of it." "So you understand, then, that much of the idea that trans women are an immediate physical threat to 'real' women and to straight men - the driver of arguably the majority of transmisogynistic violence - is based in misgendering?" "STOP CALLING TRANS WOMEN MEN AND STOP TRYING TO PRETEND MEN ARE OPPRESSED!!!1!!1!1 THEY'RE LYING ABOUT THEIR BELIEFS OR ELSE THEY WOULDN'T HAVE TREATED ME LIKE A FAGGOT BEFORE I CAME OUT, WHICH IS A FATE THAT HAS NEVER BEFALLEN A SINGLE MAN EVER!!!11!11!" ...come to think of it, do you think that last line is part of why so damned many of them are so determined to "crack the egg" of every GNC man or nonbinary person AMAB that they see? To prove that this kind of hatred is ONLY aimed at trans women and that proves their ~essential soul gender~ is real? Because honestly, fucking weak and pathetic.

kinna but that's mostly because they are just genuinely toxic whenever they see a man who could be a woman instead e.g. every crossdressing subculture

it's incredible that 'transphobes don't see trans women as women and they don't see trans men as men' is a controversial take now. what in the fuck is going on

unhealthy validation addiction

fellas, is it transphobic to acknowledge that transphobes are transphobic?

literally

The thing that bothers me the most about trfs is just how online they are, and I don't mean that to say they're harmless - I mean the opposite. I grew up in a VERY isolated neighborhood. I knew all of 2 other queer people in town. There certainly weren't hangouts for us. The nearest largeish city was a 3-hour, $100 round trip away - and that was also the closest other city-town-thing, at all. Going outside to meet queer community was NOT an option for me. What did I have? Why, I had the internet! As an adult I ended up moving to a relatively-nearby city. I also ended up being pretty badly disabled. Now I have access to outside queer gathering places...sort of. When I have the energy to go. Which isn't that often, and sometimes my choices of where to go are further limited because a lot of these things are in historical buildings with ADA exemptions so I can't actually get in the door in my wheelchair; I have to save those ones for the best of days. But the internet is still there for me! And no, offline queer spaces aren't utopian, you can still meet some REAL pieces of work there, the internet didn't INVENT exclusionist discourse - my (later admitted heterosexual!) mother had a whole stint as a political lesbian before the internet existed, so I know that from far too intimate experience - but the behavior there does usually seem to be tempered by 1) seeing as obviously as possible that the person you're talking to is a human being, not a disembodied source of words from the ether or a chatbot or whatever, and 2) being way more likely to get caught and thrown out and have the proprietor side against you if you start a fight. So who does this vile bigoted shit disguised as liberatory feminism affect the most? People who don't HAVE anywhere else to go, regularly or at all. Thanks, I fucking hate it.

Yeah. I'm completely alone out here and it sucks. People who don't have community need it the most.

tw for discussion of misogynistic hate crimes and things of that nature that happens in countries outside the global west it is SO glaringly obvious that the people in this stupid trans discourse are largely privileged and from western countries because they don’t think at ALL about people from other countries the trans woman in the middle east who can leave the country due to being AMAB is, in fact, more privileged than the trans man who can’t leave at all because he was AFAB and needs a man’s permission the trans women who aren’t being sold off as child brides ARE more privileged than the trans men who are forced to marry at age 12 and have children right off the bat like it is not that fucking cut and dry. there are more methods of oppression than transmisogyny and western problems. having privilege is far more complicated than that. and to be honest, i don’t think being ‘tme’ is much of a privilege when you’re the person AFAB who’s been murdered in an honour killing

Yeah, there's always complexity but people are obsessed with a black and white view where there's universally one good group and one bad group. It's why tankies exist. Cannot fathom that the West is bad and also maybe North Korea at the same time.

That - lady's entire blog is just her shitting on the "wrong" type of transgender person. Once again, people in our community are spending all their time infighting an attacking each other as opposed to actually fighting oppression. It's sad.

as ever

The fact that it’s now a cancellable offense to acknowledge that transphobes don’t see us as our actual gender(s) is so ridiculous I don’t even know what to say. I'm so sorry you consistently have people taking you in bad faith. This is one of the worst cases of wilful ignorance I’ve seen in a while. Seriously, I’m just dumbfounded. How the fuck did it get this bad?

this was sent right after I answered the anon mentioning a 'schism' so I'm assuming that's what it's in reference to specifically and dadgum it's more frustrating when it's people who should know better and have taken swings like this at me out of nowhere before

at least I know TRFs are going to TRF but it's exhausting having to deal with "so you're misgendering trans women??? the transandrophobia tag has officially become what it was always said to be!" from people in the same orbit, like disagree with me but can people please disagree with what I actually said before getting people apparently disavowing everyone involved in that thread?

and people have it rough sometimes and go through rough things and I feel for them going through rough things but that's not related to me so I'd appreciate not being swept into whatever other break is happening with other people who, again, aren't me

ppl be saying “to tmes it’s all genderfuck man in dress, until she asks you to respect her pronouns” like! i hate to break it to you but man in a dress isnt automatically a trans woman!!! that’s on you (general) for thinking that!!

they really fucking hate crossdressing men lmao and in fairness queer cis men have a lot of issues with misogyny but their identities are not mockeries of transfemininity and I need people to stop acting like it

ugh i hate that there are constantly posts in the transandrophobia tag that are like "well even though trans women are obviously more opressed and are totally right for hating us for our gender, could we maybe please have a word?? please we PROMISE we know we're evil for our male/afab privilege but just let us discuss our lesser issues a little bit" like omfg they're never gonna pick you

All of those people have me blocked lol.

[theinfernaldesiremachine]

I want to know more about the guy who threw three tons of type into the Thames, please! Thank you!!

So first, thank you for this ask. I love talking about this guy, and you gave me an excuse to fact-check all of the absurd things I’ve learned about him over the past year or so and, as a result, learn even more absurd things about him. But oh man, where to start. So those tags were about a guy named Thomas James Cobden-Sanderson (often written about as T. J. Cobden-Sanderson, TJCS here for efficiency). He was an absolutely fascinating dude – quit like three or four different career paths before actually becoming a lawyer and just fucking hating it. He was hanging out with his buddy William Morris (yes, THAT William Morris*) lamenting his lack of satisfying work when Morris’s wife Jane (yes THAT Jane Morris**) suggested he try his hand at bookbinding. (Side note (there are going to be so many side notes): TJCS is the one who coined the name “Arts and Crafts” for the decorative arts movement that Morris basically founded, and TJCS was hugely influential in that circle as well.) He started a bookbinding apprenticeship and just kind of blew everyone away. He was crazy good at it much faster than he should have been, and he founded the Doves Bindery (named after the nearby pub, not the bird) with capital from his wife.

(The biggest side note: TJCS was a hard core Wife Guy, and Annie Cobden-Sanderson was insanely cool in her own right. She was a famous suffragette, was arrested and imprisoned for demonstrating in the lobby of parliament, and was an evangelist for vegetarianism. This whole post could be about her, actually. TJCS thought she was so cool that he took her name – he was T. J. Sanderson, she was Annie Cobden, and when they married, they both took the name Cobden-Sanderson. She went to the U.S. in the early 20th century to teach the suffragettes there what she had learned protesting in England, so I feel like she is in part responsible for my right to vote. Love her.)

Okay, but back to TJCS. Our very talented, very egotistical, very tempestuous little dude was Not Satisfied binding whatever books came in the door because he had big feelings about what the Ideal Book should be. To that end, he teamed up with printer and engraver Emery Walker, William Morris’s former partner at the Kelmscott Press (yes, THAT Kelmscott Press***) to found the Doves Press so that he could create the most beautiful books by printing only the most beautiful words. TJCS was the “visionary and fanatic” (his words) and Walker was the technician. TJCS commissioned a new typeface to be used exclusively by the Doves Press. It was based on some of the most beautiful typography ever created – the capitals based on Nicholas Jensen’s 15th century roman that’s still considered one of the standards of perfection in type design (if you’ve ever used Centaur or read a book set in it, that’s kind of the contemporary version of Jensen’s roman). The Doves Press was unexpectedly successful and it along with Kelmscott Press laid the foundation for what would be the fine press movement of the 20th century. The Doves Bindery now only bound Doves Press books, and if you have a local library or museum that has examples in their collection, it’s well worth the trip to go look at these books.

(The opening of Genesis from The Doves Bible, widely regarded as one of the most perfect books ever printed, image from Jonkers Rare Books.)

Of course, “tempestuous” and “egotistical” are not a great recipe for long and healthy partnerships, even when coupled with “very talented,” and TJCS and Walker had a mega falling out. TJCS was a perfectionist the level of which it is hard to overstate. Walker was… not. He was a printer. You printed your pages, and that was that; sometimes there were going to be errors. Also, he liked to make money. The Doves Type was widely regarded as the most beautiful typeface in existence, and there were lots of folks willing to pay to use it in their own printing pursuits like advertising and other commercial work. I’m sure you can imagine how well this went over with TJCS. After what seemed like endless fighting, a mutual friend, Sydney Cockerell****, suggested a compromise: TJCS would get exclusive use of the Doves Type for the rest of his life, but Emery Walker would own it and could do whatever he wanted with it once TJCS died. Walker figured this was the best he was going to get and agreed. TJCS agreed at the time, but as he got older, he got even more tempestuous and obsessive, and this is where the river comes in. Dude grabbed all of the matrices and punches (the stuff you would need to make more of the Doves Type) and literally threw it into the Thames. Fine, now the only Doves Type that exists is what’s in active use by the Doves Press. That was not good enough for our good friend and Weird Little Guy TJCS. No, in addition to throwing the matrices and punches into the river, he ALSO threw every last piece of type in the workshop into the river. This is fucking hilarious because it’s not like a print shop just has a few copies of the alphabet laying around. A working press (even a small one) like the Doves Press had literally more than a ton of type in the workshop. TJCS was so petty and so determined that only HE would ever get to use this type that he made almost TWO HUNDRED trips to Hammersmith Bridge to dump type in the river.

And the story doesn’t even end there! And I’m typing this alone on my couch instead of trying to retell the abridged version over drinks with friends, so guess what? You get the rest of the story too! The Doves Type is still to this day considered one of the most beautiful typefaces ever created, and I get to introduce you to another single-minded, obsessive little guy who REALLY REALLY wanted to create the most accurate digital facsimile possible of the Doves Type. His name is Robert Green, and at first he was just looking at the texts printed by the Doves Press and trying to recreate it from the printed pages themselves. He did a pretty good job. In his quest, read everything he could about TJCS and the Doves Press, including TJCS’s diaries. I’m not sure anyone before Green really took literally TJCS’s declaration that the type had been “dedicated & consecrated” to the river but Green sure did. He even figured out that TJCS’s bridge of choice must have been Hammersmith. And then he started digging around. Almost a hundred years after TJCS donated it to the Thames, Green found a piece of the Doves Type in the mud under Hammersmith Bridge. With help from Port of London Authority divers, more than one hundred and fifty pieces of the Doves Type were recovered, and Green was able to revise his facsimile based on actual specimens.

The absolutely insane consequence of this is that YOU, dear friend, can buy your own license to the Doves Type and use it for whatever unhinged purpose you can dream up. Whether your interests align with TJCS and you also want to create the Ideal Book, or you feel like typesetting your favorite shitpost, one of the most beautiful typefaces ever cut is at your disposal.

Feels a little silly to put the footnotes under the cut given how long this got, but we're running solely on vibes now, so here we go.

*Founding member of the Arts and Crafts movement, iconic designer, you definitely know who William Morris is. Or at least you've seen his wallpaper.

**Similarly, textile artist, muse and model for the painters of the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood and Arts and Crafts movement, you know who Jane Morris is.

***If you know Kelmscott press, it's likely because you know The Kelmscott Chaucer. It is widely considered one of the most beautiful books ever printed, and it's likely that you've seen images of its pages if your interests run bookish at all (and I kind of assume they do if you've managed to read this far).

****Okay, so I footnoted Sydney Cockerell mostly to talk about his younger brother, Douglas. You probably don't know who Douglas Cockerell was, but I think you should! The fine binding tradition in England is an incredibly vibrant community of artists, and many of them can trace their education directly to TJCS through his apprentice Douglas Cockerell. Cockerell quickly became a giant in the craft and trained a generation of bookbinders himself, notably Bernard Middleton, another deeply talented binder and teacher who taught many, including Dominic Riley, from whom I have been lucky enough to take classes.

[puddlejumper38]

Wind and Truth thoughts under the cut

Spoilers for the entire book.

-Oof. The ending. I will come back to that, but its first up because its overshadowing everything else like a giant storm cloud. - :( speaking of. Goddamn it, I liked the Stormfather.

-I want to note, right here, that I still do not trust Szeth to make a single good decision. I don't think he should be the law. I hope he goes back to sheep farming and has no power over anyone ever.

-Interestingly, I like Nale better after this book. He was just a terrifying figure before, but now he's interesting as a person too. (He's still scary)

-What The Fuck Was With Moash Getting Spiked? As a devoted Marsh fan, I am against spiking in general. I have no words about how much I do Not like Moash being crystal spiked.

(side note: I think I dislike Moash properly now. Yes, the guy has some points, but.... he continued even with his own emotions. Attacking bridge 4. That's.... thats too far for me. If he'd decided to fight anyone Except bridge 4 I could have dealt with that)

-Saw that Gav was being prepped to hate Dalinar. Was still as tricked as Navani.

-So. We meet Auxiliary and learn what the fuck with Sigzil. I still don't like the Sunlit Man as a book and it coloured how I viewed the Shattered Plains fight here. I do like Aux.

-I trust Ishar even less than Szeth, therapy or no

-I really enjoyed the flashbacks in the spiritual realm. I loved getting all the gaps filled in, finally. (Or most of them anyway.) Also it just felt like WoK in vibes in a way that I just really appreciated.

-Appreciated the trick with Venli on the Shattered Plains. Not... Hmm. Not sure it matters anymore though. We'll see.

-I particularly liked the Interludes here. I remember those took me a while to get used to back in WoK.

-Had seen enough theories to be unsurprised about Shallan's mother being Chana, but I doubt I'd have thought of it myself

-Formless wasn't there! I thought that was off, because Shallan never fully manifested her, but still didn't clock it. I do love that. There's always details in Sanderson's books that I just don't see coming.

-Jasnah's povs... I just didn't like them. Can't quite put my finger on why, but she shouldn't have played by Taravangian's rules in the first place. She lost, but I don't feel like she lost in the way she thinks she did. I hate her lack of flexible thinking and nuance from someone who is supposed to be a good scholar. I liked her better in WoK Prime. We'll see how her book is, years from now.

-Renarin and Rlain's pov's were another real highlight. I was worried about this one, because Branderson - bless his mormon socks - can be as hamhanded as Dalinar sometimes. But this was just very well handled in my opinion. In character, not forced, and remarkably relevant to the overall plot. Nice.

-I should have known as soon as Adolin wanted to see Dalinar again that he wouldn't. That was a major hint.

-Ah shit I should get to Dalinar.

-That could be its own post.

-Kaladin first then. I.... didn't want that for him. In any way. I could see it coming - because fuck knows it couldn't be Szeth and once these ideas are raised something has to happen. But still. Its not good for anyone and I can only hope its more temporary this time. Yes, he gets a bit of a break. No, he has no friends with him. Poor guy.

-All right. Dalinar.

-I have been angry at Dalinar since Oathbringer. I think he's a good character! But yikes. I mean all of the Blackthorn behaviour, not only Evi.

-I did not want him to be Honor.

(actually I don't think I want Anyone to pick up Shards)

-Hey, he's not Honor, though. Anymore.

-INSTEAD TARAVANGIAN IS!! HEY WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

-Cultivation can try to flee all she likes this is still her fault.

-Taravangian of all people.

-It was a Good Ending, its also terrifying for Roshar in the short term - but better in the long term! - and the cosmere in general

-Odium needed to be freed from Roshar, for all the reasons thrown at us readers with all the delicacy of a chull in a china shop in those last few chapters (read fond exasperation here, I Got It The First Few Times)(last few chapters of YatNP were similar)

-Retribution is a little More than just freeing Odium.

-That said; It could never be as simple as one side winning the contest and I'm glad it wasn't. That would've disappointed me.

-So no more Stormlight in the Stormlight Archives?? Well, we'll see.

-And Dalinar is gone. I am sorry for it. It was going to happen in some way or other (I'm not sure taking up a Shard counts as surviving)(I'm not sure being bound to serve Odium would count either). But... I am sorry for it. I'll miss him.

[cruyuu]

What really gets me about the Sukuita dance is Sukuna's face, I know most of the fandom is using that to say "Sukuna hates it, Yuuji is forcing Sukuna to dance" but, even if we ignore that Sukuna could just... let go of Yuuji (he's so addicted to that waist man), I don't see the anger or hate everyone is saying he feels. To me, Sukuna looks distressed, surprised, and almost vulnerable. Especially his eyes. Idk I think he's emotionally conflicted about his feelings for Yuuji and that's what his expression is conveying 👀

Hi anon!

Ah... the dance and the vehement rejection of "Yuuji and Sukuna do care for each other". Idk why some people are so against them being happy tbh but then again I never understood this fandom.

It's a given that Sukuna can let go of Yuuji, anon. Hell, he doesn't have to do shit. If he's unsatisfied and he despises Yuuji, he would not be shown dancing with him. For that matter, why are we arguing about character's choices when Gege wrote these two and released this art? The right question is why in the hell's name, if this if that, did Gege think that drawing them dancing would be the right thing to do?

Unless...

If you know, you know lol.

Honestly, the takes to justify this art (that it totally means nothing) I've had seen just make me laugh. Some had also stated that Yuuji doesn't technically really care for Sukuna but that he's just too compassionate for his own good and therefore tolerates him which... hmm. Yuuji is compassionate, sure, but if he's as compassionate as these ppl claim he is then why didn't he also try to understand and accept Mahito too? Sukuna and Mahito were the same in Yuuji's eyes and both deserved death and yet look at here we are. Why when both live to cause ruin and also caused great suffering to Yuuji? It doesn't add up and never will. The dedication that Yuuji showed to Sukuna in the end was... rather something. He unleashed his Domain to try to change his mind and get him to come back and live with him. Like... how crazy is that? When he saw that couldn't work, he vowed to be there for him in the next life even if nobody accepted him. Like... what more do I have to say????

But, back to the art, yes! Sukuna does look he's five seconds from sprinting away in embarrassment or fear (if only he wasn't holding Yuuji's waist lol). He does appear like he's scared/uncomfortable rather than angry. Some of my friends had even pointed out that he appears similar to when he and Yuuji talked in 265 and how he was highly on guard there and just how much he tried to flee from saying anything that involves feelings. Maybe he's just uncomfortable with being open? Being caring? I wouldn't be surprised considering we know him as someone who never gave a fuck and now that he does... he doesn't really know how to process that.

[whoiwanttoday]

They say if you do what you love you'll never work a day in your life but this has always struck me as horseshit. In part because being forced to do something rather than choosing to do it is a good way to sour on said activity, at least in my experience. Do I like chocolate cake? Fuck yeah. If I had to eat chocolate cake 8 hours a day I bet I'd get real sick of it by the end of that first day. Maybe the second. Either way, that part always felt false but more so my issue is my favorite thing to do is nothing. I like having no obligations or responsibilities and my life and time being entirely of my choosing where I can follow any whim I want whenever I want. That means sometimes I laze around and do nothing. Sometimes I watch movies and make a fancy dinner. Sometimes I go for long walks and listen to music. Sometimes I do something that sounds cool and exciting and it's not that I am being vague because I can't think of anything cool and exciting to do but because it's so cool and exciting it has to be kept secret. My point is, no one on Earth is willing to pay me to be a layabout driven by impulse. Which is a long way of saying winter vacation is almost over. For some people I imagine it is over today. They're back in the office. For some it never started. You guys have my sympathy, I used to be that person. I basically didn't have a day off for over a decade before I decided to reassess and get a less demanding job. I am happier now but I also understand I am pretty lucky to have done so. Anyway, this is a long way of saying that because of the person I am I am already mourning my winter break despite the fact that I have two hole days after today when I can do nothing if I want. Which brings us around to Livvy Dunne, who it certainly seems must be doing what she is passionate about. Probably. I can think of few things that would make me hate my sport more than competing at a high level but that's probably why I played one year in college and decided literally everything else about my life would be better if I didn't play any more because I was never particularly driven so much as I did things like that because I was told it was key to a college resume to have diverse extra curricular and somewhere in the back of my head was the idea it would make me cool and popular. I mean, Livvy Dunne is cool and popular so maybe there is a lesson there about trying. But… she's at the end of her career, from here on out I guess she'll be an influencer only? I don't know but boy if I wanted to hate life that would be number one and I do wonder if anyone enjoys that as a job. I am sure they enjoy the benefits but the constantly needing to curate my life to make it looks awesome seems depressing. Maybe not as depressing as going back to work on Thursday but it's up there. What I am saying is Livvy Dunne is really attractive and I have found a way to suck all the fun out of that, so enjoy. Today I want to fuck Olivia Dunne.

[wardenparker]

In the Still of the Night, ch 6

Zach Wellison x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

Grown up and looking to the future, Zach Wellison and bunkmate Shane Morrissey are working for a new cruise line that offers its guests a vintage Vegas experience on the Mediterranean. The romantic atmosphere is rubbing off on many of the crew members, and Zach finds himself to be no exception when he meets the beautiful lead singer of Shane's band.

But being wrapped in the seductive arms of an atmospheric cruise is a far cry from real life. How will their relationship fare on dry land? They can't know unless they try.

Rating: M for Mature but this blog is always 18+ Word Count: 5.2k Warnings: *Blanket warnings for this story include: Cursing, alcohol, food, cooking, eating, discussion of clothing/costumes. Mentions of prison time served, mentions of past homelessness.* Brief mention of assumptions made about the homeless, family death. Summary: Things have been going so well, that of course life finds a way to interrupt bliss. Notes: We seem to have hit the drama button this week. As always, I apologize for an errors I may have missed, and gif is for vibes not physical representation of characters. Hope you enjoy 🧡

Ch 1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4 ~ Ch 5

It’s still astounding to Zach how much shit he has acquired since getting on the cruise ship. He’s spent so much time living in sea bags when he was in the Marines and then out of that same bag when he was homeless, it’s fucking surprising to have to make multiple trips to move his stuff from the cabin that he shares with Shane to the brand new soulmate suite he will share with you. “Fuck.” He hisses, nearly dropping a little trinket he had picked up in Athens.

“Careful.” Shane warns needlessly, lugging in the last box with both arms. This one is books and Zach likes thick hardcovers from street markets.

“Why didn’t you tell me I had too much shit?” Zach grumbles, even though it’s not Shane’s place to say anything. He never takes up too much space in their shared cabin and always keeps his side neat.

“Why the hell would I do that?” His now former roommate huffs. The fact is, Shane never wanted Zach to feel bad about a single damn thing he owned. Not when he had gone so long with so little. “Memories are fuckin’ important, Wellison.”

“Yeah.” He feels a little embarrassed though, that’s a lot of money compiled into that box. Money he could have been saving or using on necessities.

“Stop.” Shane huffs as he stands up again. “I know it’s—it makes you feel guilty. Like every single penny needs to get saved for a rainy day.” He had felt that way too, after getting out of prison and making it through a halfway house. He’d spent a year or so squatting and saving until he finally found steady work that didn’t ask too many questions. There are a lot of similar memories still working their way through Zach’s mind as he navigates the next stage of his life. “What are you saving it for if not to live? To have a life?”

One of the things that he loves and hates about Shane is his ability to read Zach easily. He guesses it’s easier since he’s walked the same path he has and can relate more than anyone else they know. It’s also comforting to know that Zach could possibly be as well adjusted as Shane one day. “You’re right.” He huffs, rolling his eyes. “Damnit.”

"You okay, baby?" The first thing you hear from the doorway of the suite when you arrive with your arms full of garment bags is Zach swearing, and your brow furrows.

“Yeah!” Zach pops his head up from where he was trying to fit the trunk into the tight space and slams his head on the desk above. “Ow! Fuck!”

"Babe!" You flinch when he swears again, mostly because it comes with hitting his head, and immediately drop what you were carrying onto the nearest piece of furniture. "Take it easy, honey. It doesn't all have to get done instantly."

“Shit, I’m sorry.” He groans, rubbing his head as he straightens up. “Thought I would have everything squared away.”

"There's no hurry," you remind him gently, checking his head for a bump and thankfully finding none. "Hi. It's been like four hours since I saw you last. Way too many."

“Hi.” He smiles even though his head still hurts, happy to see you. “It was too long.”

"Way too long." In fact, it's been long enough for your heart to start hammering just from being around him again, so you have absolutely no shame in going to wrap your arms around him in a tight hug.

He leans into your touch like he seems to always do. Basking in the simple intimacy that some might take for granted, but not him. “I’ve got all my stuff.” He tells you. “What else do you need to bring?”

“I’ve got one more trip to make.” You tell him, happily bundled into his arms. “I brought some stuff over this morning before bingo.”

“I can help you.” He promises. “I don’t have to be at the club for another hour to start prep.” He knows that he can have his staff do all the prep, but he doesn’t like to do that. It makes him feel guilty, like he’s not earning his paycheck.

“Are you sure?” Searching his face, you but your lip and frown. On the one hand? You’re not going to give up the help, but in the other you don’t want to make him feel like a packhorse.

“Of course I want to help you.” He would be offended, but you had confided that beyond a few friends like Shane, you hadn’t found many people who were willing to exert any extra time or energy when you needed help. Even though you had constantly helped anyone who needed it. “We can make quick work of it together.” He promises, flashing you a reassuring smile.

The instinct to push back and refuse is there, but you know that with Zach it isn’t necessary. Or at least, he had promised you it wasn’t and you have to remind yourself that he has no reason to lie to you. “Thank you, baby,” you murmur instead, dropping a kiss in the corner of his mouth. “It’s just one more trip.”

“Then we will get it all settled.” He loves that you are letting him help and he wraps his arms around you. “So let’s go before I want to drag you over to our new Queen sized bed to try it out.”

“That big bed is going to make such a difference.” And you won’t apologize for a second about sprawling out over him, either.

“Need me to stay?” Shane asks, smirking as if he knows the answer.

“We got it.” You promise him, tucked into Zach’s side. “Go call Diana and tell her that I said hi.”

“He’s going to be happy to have his room all to himself.” Zach chuckles. “I bet their sex talk increases.”

“Guaranteed.” The two of you close the door to your new suite behind you and head back toward your old room for the last of your things. “Ten bucks says he’s halfway back to your old room already for sex.”

“No doubt.” He snorts and knows that he would do the same thing in the other man’s shoes. “But enough about him.” He purrs playfully. “The sooner we get your stuff back here; the sooner we can have our own alone time.”

“Do we have time for a little homecoming before work tonight?” You wink for full effect, already giggling at your own joke.

“Hmmmmmm.” Zach pretended to contemplate it, grinning back at you. “I think it’s necessary at this point.”

Nudging him along the hall, you end up slipping right past him to practically pull him along. "Then why are you walking so slow, Wellison?"

His laughter follows behind you, a light, happy sound as his footsteps speed up to match yours.

The last trip is a few bags of every day items like your cosmetics, jewelry, and hair things, along with bathroom products. It’s nice to have a hand, and River takes it as a last chance to tease Zach about ‘taking you off her hands’. All the teasing in the world doesn’t make her hug you any less though, and you promise her one time that not being roommates anymore doesn’t mean a damn thing for your friendship. It just means hanging out will be even more special now.

“You’ve got a lot of jewelry.” Zach is uneasy holding the bag that seemingly holds hundreds of earrings and necklaces as you both walk back to your new home. A throw over from times where he would and could be accused of stealing a stick of gum. He keeps his hands where you can see them, even if it’s completely ridiculous, considering he is living with you and will be alone in your shared space with this stuff eventually.

“I like thrift shops.” Walking side by side, you lug your bags of cosmetics and bath things down the hall with a anime. “You can always find vintage stuff pretty cheap. A dollar or two for a pair of earrings I can wear on stage, ya know? Sometimes you can even find sets.”

“A couple of dollars?” He frowns slightly. “It’s…costume jewelry?” He asks incredulously. All of your outfits and accessories look extremely expensive.

“I mean…there might be a piece or two that’s worth something because some grandkid didn’t bother to have granny’s jewelry box valued after she died, but yeah.” You shrug, always having been more practical through your life out of necessity. “It’s pretty much all paste stone and glass. Looks pretty, though.”

His shoulders relax significantly and he nods. “Though I think you deserve real jewelry.” He frowns slightly, wondering how much something gorgeous for you would cost him.

“Maybe one day.” In an effort to make him smile, you nudge him with your elbow as you turn down another hallway together. “I’d wear a gum wrapper as long as you were the one who gave it to me.”

"I'll do better than a gum wrapper." He scoffs, but his lips pull up and his eyes are soft as he looks over at you. "That I can promise you." He'll buy you the very best ring he could find.

"My point is that the emotional weight of a gift means more than the price tag." It's something you've talked about just a little, the fact that you're both realistically broke when you're not living on the ship. "As long as it's something that made you think of me, I don't care what it costs."

“Hell, everything makes me think of you.” Zach grins and winks at you. “Hurry up and I’ll show you what I’m thinking right now.”

“Naughty.” The scandalized tone in your voice is just for show, and you pick up the pace considerably, practically racing him back down the hall to your new suite.

******

Both of you show up to work with incredibly smug smirks and a small skip to your steps. Zach rushes into the kitchen, technically late by thirty-five seconds but he couldn’t resist that one last kiss with you.

"Oh my god." Zach's sous chef and saucier are smirking right by the doorway when he walks into the kitchen. Both holding up their watches. "For the first time ever — Chef is only on time instead of early."

He couldn’t look stern even if he tried. Just too buoyed by happiness with you and the fact that you are just as giddy as he is. One day maybe the feeling will settle, but for now it’s butterflies and feeling lighter than a cloud. “Yeah, yeah.” He huffs, waving them off. “I know you have work. I might be on time but everything’s already outlined.”

"Oh, we were early today." His sous chef flashes him a grin. "We only stopped to wonder if you were actually going to be late."

“We were moving cabins.” He defends half-heartedly. He still can’t shake the grin on his face, so he knows they know that excuse is complete bullshit. “Get back to work.” He huffs, shooing them away.

“Any changes tonight? Last minute specials?” Zach’s team asks gently. They aren’t stupid. They know he’s been catering his specials to what the boss’s new girlfriend likes best. And if it weren’t so damn sweet, they might be annoyed about it.

He grins and shakes his head. “Nothing tonight, except I want to add a cherry cognac sauce to the chocolate cake.” He admits. “I appreciate you working with me on the unusual menu changes. You all have adapted admirably.”

“Keeps things interesting, chef.” His sous chef tells him, with a knowing grin. “But at this point we’re gonna be offended if we don’t get to cook your wedding dinner since we know what she loves already.”

"I couldn't imagine any other staff I would trust." Zach admits. Being in the trenches of the kitchen with this group had taught him how fucking talented most of the cooks on a ship where. Not only did they turn out the 'regular' foods served in the buffet for breakfast and lunch, but they also executed the finer dinning menu with the same ease. "Seriously."

“You heard the man!” The call goes out around the kitchen even as though few members of the staff closest to Zach are exchanging knowing smiles. He’s a good guy and an even better boss, and they would all walk through fire for him. Adjusting menus is the least of it. “Let’s get to work!”

The kitchen is a flury of activity from the moment they say 'go' and Zach just chuckles as he watches all the crew that he has assembled rush back to their stations. "Let's put a meal on the table they will never forget." He hums.

******

It goes from rare that you and Zach spend a night apart to downright impossible for the first several weeks of living together, but your old roommate River is having a little birthday party for her thirtieth and you can’t deny the request to join her that night. She’s forgoing a big party and just having a few of the girls over after hours, with wine and treats and gossip for all.

“Sweetheart, it’s okay.” Zach promises for the eighth time, leaning in and kissing the concerned frown off your lips. “Shane and the guys invited me out for a drink, so you go have fun. I won’t be pining away for you in misery.” He grins. “But I will miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too.” The bag with River’s gift in it dangled from the same hand that your purse does and you have the other hand on his cheek. “Have fun, baby. I love you.”

“You too.” You look amazing, but you always do. Zach watches as you turn and stride towards the door. “I love you.”

Down a few hallways and in the deck below where you and Zach share a suite, River has turned your old shared room into a boho chic crash pad with beaded curtains and scarves over her lamps, and the smell of patchouli in the air. It’s her happy place and you love that she is able to fully settle in and enjoy a comfortable place to herself until the quartermaster gives her a new roommate.

The music is on, but respectfully low to not disturb the cabins around hers if they are sleeping. The sound really coming out when she opens the door and grins. “Honestly didn’t know if you could tear yourself away.” She teases, lunging forward to wrap you in a tight hug.

“I didn’t either,” you joke, though it’s not wholly a joke. You squeeze her back and let her pull you inside easily. “Happy Birthday, honey.”

“Well, come in.” She grins as she pulls you inside. “Everyone else is on their way.”

“How many people are we going to cram into this place?” It’s nice to be back in a sort of nostalgic way. You had liked living with River and been fast friends with the philosophically-inclined bartender.

“Only four others.” She promises. “Intimate. Wine and gossip.”

“And snacks.” Along with River’s present, you have a tray of treats Zach made for you to bring for the party.

“Your soulmate is the best.” She gushes, eyes lighting up in delight. Zach had picked your brain for her favorites and managed to put together a finger food tray that was completely River. Right down to the mini cucumber sandwiches.

“He says happy birthday, too,” you laugh as she pulls you inside with gleeful giggles.

“What’s he doing tonight?” She asks, taking the tray and setting it down on the desk where she already has four bottles of wine and six glasses ready to go. “Pining for you?”

“Maybe.” You huff, though you can feel the warmth in your cheeks at the suggestion. “He’s having beers with the band. Boy gossip time.”

“Good.” She knows that you will be thinking about Zach, you have this almost dreamy expression on your face now. “Then I won’t feel guilty about pumping you for details.”

That only makes you laugh, because you had a feeling she would go that route, but she’s still your friend to tease. “Oh, so I’m the subject of tonight’s gossip?”

“Of course.” She huffs, rolling her eyes dramatically as if it was never in question. “No one else has anything as interesting going on in their lives.”

“Oh my god, you are not starting without me!” Madi — one of the hostesses from the ship’s high end restaurants and the most fashionable person you’ve ever met — comes in right behind you with a look of conspiratorial glee on her face. “I need to know everything.”

Quickly after her, the three other women who were invited arrive, all squealing about seeing you and soon all of you are lounging around the room with wine glasses in your hands. All of them waiting for the gossip to begin.

“Okay, okay.” You can pretend all you like, but getting to talk to some new people about Zach is actually nice. The guys in the band have heard every story already. Or they were there when it happened. “What do you vultures want to know?”

Tara grins, picking up a cucumber sandwich and examining it. “How much food play is involved in your bedroom life?” She asks, cackling at the joke. She’s a casino host from Zimbabwe and has a wickedly sharp sense of humor. Guests and crew alike adore her.

“Surprisingly very little.” You shouldn’t be stressed that that is the first question, but it still makes you grin. Zach doesn’t like food play because he still has hang ups about wasting food, but you use it in other ways. “Food is usually flirting with him. Seduction. Sometimes I walk into the club at night and his menu special is something I know he meant just for me.”

“That is so damn romantic.” Madi huffs. “I want a man who makes me special meals.” She takes a sip of her wine. “I bet he does that a lot, doesn’t he?”

“Almost every day,” you admit, hiding your grin behind your wine glass. “I swear I’m going to need a gym membership when we get back to New York. His food is so fucking good.”

"It looks like you are getting plenty of workouts." Jasmine snickers, lifting a brow at you. "You haven't gained a pound so you are sweating it off somewhere."

Zach doesn’t mind if you gossip a bit, you had made sure to ask how much he was comfortable with and he said it was fine. The broad strokes will surely be shared tonight, even while you keep the finer details for yourself. So you have no qualms admitting how active you actually have been. “I’m putting my birth control through the wringer.”

All of the girls erupt into giggles, happy about how proud of that fact you look and the playful banter starts to ping pong back and forth between them. All of them teasing you about positions and techniques to keep your soulmate making you fabulous meals for months to come.

“I know you guys didn’t invite me just to hear about how incredible my soulmate is,” you tease. Pouring your third glass of wine has you just as giggly as the rest of them. “Did you?”

A form chorus of ‘yes! is only counter by one ‘of course not! and that was only River who disagrees. Everyone starts laughing again and Tara hums. “We are all so happy for you babe. You light up at the mere mention of him.”

"He's..." The dreamy sign you let out is undeniable. Not that you ever would deny him. "He's the love of my life. I really don't know how I got so lucky."

"Did you know?" Jasmine asks quietly. "Before you actually knew? Were you like, drawn to him?"

"Hindsight is twenty-twenty," you admit, with a shrug of your shoulders that convinces no one at all. "I was definitely drawn to him, but I had no idea why. It was just..." The feeling had been there. It had blossomed in you and taken hold and grown so fast you couldn't keep it up. "I just thought it was the most intense crush I'd ever had. Like when you're a tween and have that very first puppy love experience? But as an adult it was so much more intense. I thought that's what it was...but it was the bond."

"Did Zach feel the same way?" Tara asks. "I can only assume he thought you were gorgeous, but every man on the crew thinks you're beautiful."

"Oh come on, don't be ridiculous." It's a lovely compliment, but it's definitely an exaggeration. "If you were to ask him, he would tell you that it was love at first sight for him. But he didn't think I'd ever like him, too. Which is patently ridiculous. Obviously."

"Obviously." River giggles. "Don't kill me, but Zach is hot."

“Why would I kill your for that?” You giggle over a sip of wine. “You’re right and you should say it.”

"Are you not jealous?" Tara asks, impressed by the idea that you wouldn't be. "I mean, I guess you wouldn't be, when he's so obviously devoted to you."

“I’m not going to be jealous that people have eyes. That’s silly.” Besides which, you’ve dealt with jealousy. You’ve seen it firsthand. It’s an ugly emotion that you never intend to face if you can ever help it. “As long as I’m the one he comes home to at night, I don’t care who else notices him. I know I’m damn lucky.”

"You are truly lucky." Madi sighs. "So lucky."

“Maybe you’ll find out Olaf is your soulmate,” you tease, grinning and making the other girls giggle. Madi had been long distance dating a Swiss hotel heir that she met while on vacation with her family in London. “You should get up the gumption to ask him if he has that tattoo of yours.”

"I would rather see it." She groans, rolling her eyes. "I need to see him. Tell the captain to sail around the continent. I have a man to jump."

"Get. It. Girl!" Jasmine crows, clapping and practically cheering.

Everyone laughs and you nearly spill your wine in the jostle of enthusiastic women.

It's a breath of fresh air to feel this happy and this free. This happy about your life. It might be the first time ever that you really are happy with exactly how things are, and that itself is a miracle.

******

Coming back to the room he shares with you, Zach is pleasantly buzzed. He had shared quite a few beers with Shane and the other guys, as well as shooting the shit and catching up. Trading jokes and stories. It’s different working back of the house in a kitchen and being up on stage in front of the same crowd of people. Both have interesting outlooks and everyone had laughed over the similarities and differences.

The click of the door startles you, mostly for reasons you can't quite articulate, but you jump out of your seat when Zach comes into the room. Cheeks stained with tears that you're still crying, your phone is clutched in one hand but you immediately reach for him with the other.

“What’s wrong?” Zach is immediately grabbing you, rushing over to your side and he sees that you seem physically alright. But your tears are aching, painful. He can feel how you are heartbroken. “What is it?” He demands, crushing you to him and instantly sobering.

"My, um—" You have to gasp between the tears, but you had hung up the phone with your mother just seconds before Zach came home and you haven't had time to process it all yet. "My Gram died." It seems so surreal, that sentence, and the very fact that you have to say it. She had seemed so well the last time you saw her. So capable and healthy. You had talked to her barely a week ago and she was perfectly fine. "It was—she had a stroke. This morning."

“Oh baby.” Zach has no family left to speak of, but he knows the heartbreak of loss. He closes his eyes as he holds you close. “I am so sorry.”

"They're organizing the funeral." Your voice wobbles, as uncertain as you feel, and you hold onto him tightly. "I—I gotta go home."

“Yes you do.” Zach squeezes you tight. “Do you want me to come with you?”

"Can you be away from the club?" Honestly you hadn't even processed the idea that Zach would offer to come with you, let alone that he actually could. "The, uh...the cruise—" You sniff back tears as best you can, trying to give yourself a clear head. "It's almost over. I have to talk to...I don't even know who. Someone. About going home."

“I’ll make sure I can.” Because of the pilot program on the cruise ship, they are docking and spending a week in port for meetings to make sure that there aren’t any changes that need to be made. It’s unusual, but it’s actually a good thing in this case. “My crew can handle the kitchen, even if it’s not new recipes.”

"Are you sure?" His willingness to just drop everything to be there for you is astonishing, and you couldn't be more grateful.

“Unless….you don’t want me to go?” He asks, unsure of why you’re so resistant to the idea of him supporting you during your loss. “I don’t have to if you’d rather go alone.”

"No, no — I want you to." Your hands tighten a little on his arms, silently begging him not to pull back. "I'm just...I'm still processing. And I guess I didn't expect you to offer it so easily."

“Of course I would.” He firms up his hold on you and leans into the embrace. “Whatever you need, I’m here for you.”

"Thank you." You lean your forehead on his chest and breathe an extremely shaky breath, trying to keep hold of yourself so you don't break down crying again. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." He promises softly, his hand running up and down your back to soothe you. "Come on, let's lay down and you can cry it out." He knows it's too late for anything to be done tonight, but in the morning will be soon enough.

******

The morning, it turns out, is a whirlwind. The crew is given notice that the docking in port will be for two weeks instead of one due to a necessary repair on the ship, so when you go into the office to ask for a few extra days of bereavement leave, you’re told to take whatever you need. Shane promises to keep the band rolling in your absence and Zach turns his kitchen over to his sous chef for the time being. Things at work will be perfectly fine while the two of you are on dry land. You keep telling yourself that over and over while you pack.

Zach doesn't have many formal clothes, so he frets over that while he packs the nicest ones he has. "I— I will have to get a suit." He tells you after a moment. " I don't have one, and I'm assuming you want me at the funeral?"

You nod, still feeling fuzzy and vague, like your whole reality is off center. “I’m sorry honey, I mean—yes. We can get you one. The funeral isn’t for a few days, thankfully.”

"Don't be sorry." He sets the shirt down he had been folding carefully and moves over to where you are stuffing a large black suitcase full. Sliding his arms around you and hugging your back in support. "I'm sorry that I have to get one, that it will take time away from family."

“It’s okay,” you promise him quietly, drowning in the feeling of actual comfort and security inherent in being held in his arms. You’re so fucking grateful for Zach all of the time, but especially now. “I have a feeling that an excuse to get out of the house will be helpful now and then.”

"Whatever you need." He assures you. "I know it's not the best way to meet the family, but I'm here for you. If you need time away, you just let me know."

“I thought I could show you around Tulsa a little.” The good parts, anyway. He’ll see enough of the shitty parts while he’s with you. “When we decided we needed to get out, I mean.”

“That sounds good.” Zach nods. “What time is our flight?” You had made the arrangements, since you knew what to do. He had offered, and he had insisted on paying for his travel since you wouldn’t let him pay for both of you.

“Seven tonight. It’s going to be a long-ass flight home. Two layovers and every flight is at least a few hours long.” That draws another long, low sigh out of you and you lean back against his chest. “You’re amazing for doing this with me, baby. I can’t tell you how grateful I am.”

“Of course.” He makes it sound simple and for him, it is. “Don’t forget to pack your book.” He murmurs. “And your sleep mask. Maybe you can get a few hours of sleep on the flights.” You didn’t sleep last night, but that’s almost expected.

“You’ll have to teach me the military trick for sleeping anywhere.” Zach’s ability to fall asleep at the drop of a hat is fairly spectacular, and you grab your sleep mask from the bedside table as he recommends. It can go in your carryon with the book you’ve been reading. And a spare, for good measure.

He grins at you and drops a kiss on your forehead. "Exhaustion beyond compare." He explains. "There's no other way to describe it."

“I have a feeling I might get there this week.” Slowly, methodically, the two of you work through your packing. Your little hometown right outside of Tulsa, Oklahoma isn’t much to talk about but you tell him little bits here and there. It doesn’t feel real to be going back like this. It doesn’t feel right. But it is what it is and cannot be anymore.

"It'll be alright." He knows you are bouncing back and forth between grief and nervousness, but he lets you talk it out how you need to. "If you need me to do anything at all, you just let me know."

“The fact that you’re coming with me means more than you know.”

"Baby, you are my soulmate." He reminds you. "We are a team, and I know that if it was me, you would be right beside me." He appreciates that and he takes your hand when you turn to him. "I want you to know you can lean on me anytime. I'm here for you."

“If it was you, I wouldn’t hesitate.” And that, you suppose, is his point. So you nod your head and to your head back, pressing a short kiss to his lips. “I love you more than anything.”

“I love you too, sweetheart.” He murmurs. “You’re my world.”

------ Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @littlemousedroid @harriedandharassed @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @haylzcyon   @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri @adancedivasmom @madiebear @tanzthompson @emilianamason @bigsdinger @xocalliexo @pedr0swh0r3 @avaleineandafryingpan @charlyrmv @avidreader73 @iceclaw101 @loveslide @elegantduckturtle @becsworld @julesonrecord @its-nebuleuse @itsrubberbisquit @mikeyswifie @guelyury @lizzie-cakes @for-a-longlongtime @vabeachazn @purplerain04 @weho2kcmo @madnessofadaydreamer

ItSotN: @greenwitchfromthewoods @copperhalfcent @ariavitiellos @spishsstuff @76bookworm76

[chillenby]

Okay. I'll try to explain it as best as I can without spoiling it and while covering everything you might need to now. (If you want me to explain everything else in detail just ask, I'll be more then happy to do so, but I certainly recomend for you to watch or play the game because it's great and has amazing retro graphics and soundtrack)

Since it's a bit longer post I'll just title the segment so that you can skip if you're not interested in something

Intro

It's a psychological horror with darker themes. Rape, murder, suicide and even canibalism. It's a game you can purchise on steam for like 12 bucks or watch a playthrough on youtube (most of them are about 2 hours).

It's about a crew in space. That's all I can say without spoiling it too much. It has a pot of metaphoric meanings and delves into a lot of different deeper topics (which is great if you're into more phylosophic type things and it can cause you to think about it a lot, from their catchy lines to just it over all) and they have a few characters that are very well written and really human.

Daisuke

For characters, Daisuke is the fan favorite, he's the youngest (18-20 years old) and he's the intern. People gravitate to him because of 2 things, 1) they see him as a silly guy (which compared to other characters he is because he jokes the most and is practically a lighthearted character) and 2) they find him relatable because he doesn't know what he wants from his life or his strengths.

Anya

Then Anya is also the fan favorite, she's a polite nurse that in the game doesn't actually have a lot of personality. Which in a nerative way makes a lot of sense. People gravitate to her because some of them have been in similiar situations and she makes them feel seen, while others feel bad for her and from a lot of different ao3 tags say that they think she deserves a hug

Sweansea

Sweansea is that typical old grumpy character you have in a lot of media and he's the engineer of the crew. He's Daisuke's mentor and a lot of people like to think of him as Daisuke's father figure. He's gruff, a bit blunt and in the end has one of the better monologs and opinions of the whole game.

Jimmy and Curly

Jimmy (co-pilot) and Curly (captain) are my favorites and the plot focuses a lot on them because we play as them, switching between their neratives. They're surtainly complex characters and most of the plot is built around them. Jimmy is that assholish character, mean, rude, greedy and selfish, while Curly is that guy people rely on and concider a nice guy. Polar oposites, but they are close friends.

Polle

And then Polle, the lovable mascot of Pony Express (aka the company they work for). She's also used as a metaphore and an amazing one at that. (Can't say anything else so I don't spoil anything and because I fucking hate that pony. Scared me shitless the first game thtough, literally friend had to be on call with me for the last 20 minutes of the game because that stupid Pony was practically haunting my ass).

For the plot, it's not too complex, but I personally find it impactful and as disturbing it is, I hold it close to my heart. It's dark and heavy and simple and complex at the same time. Though, the way the plot is handled through narative gives it that specific charm.

Fandom

For the fandom I'll just say this. Enjoy at your own risk and always check trigger warnings if you're sensitive to something. If you don't like something, just ignore it or go talk with your friend about it. Mouthwashing fandom has a lot of amazing stuff, like from psycho analysis, fanart and certain fanfics, while some miss the point intierly (which is fine, it's not, but if it makes a person happy who cares, I'm not gonna ruin it for them) and some which I personally consider that they go too far. Also, the fandom is perfectly split between people who want to enjoy the dark parts of the game and those who like the silly stuff (memes, jokes, fluff, and they probably do it to 'cope' with the game).

I'm not gonna go too deep into the shipping because everyone has their personal opinions on it, but it's a bit contreversial. At times diving into the proship vs the other side debate.

Music

Last thing, 'Headlock' by Imogen Heap is convidered the mouthwashing song. It's like about how you wanna persue your hobbies and interests, but you're stuck in place unable to actually do it. Which I personally think perfectly fits the game, atleast a very specific scene in the game that actually is one of my favorites and a bit not comforting, but it makes me feel a bit seen. But I think a lot of people actually just like it cuz it's a catchy song with a very nice and specific beat. Also, receantly JT music released the mouthwashing rap which actually covers a lot of the plot, meaning and other parts of mouthwashing. It's also a bop and in the intro they sampled actual sounds from the game which is very cool if you ask me

..

So yea. Sorry for rambling, I covered a few things, I thought would be important without revealing too much if you actually decide to play/watch the game.

WHAT THE FUCK IS "MOUTHWASHING"????

can someone tell me about what Mouthwashing is

my friend is obsessed with it and i wanna learn more about it for her, and i also saw it was a psych thriller and i love those.

lowkey i thought it was the sally face sequel so if anyone could rb and help me out itd be much appreciated

also whos that gay fuck daisueke or whatev