#fucking hate it when they complain about their fathers being rude l

[dosnotoevsky]

I know I'm a load. I didn't have a long line of peaceful family members - like you see in the movies. I seem to carry that in my blood. And I try everyday with every fibre of my being so that no one can point it out, "you're their blood after all." but my traumas seem to never go away. I know i distance myself and my energy seems off. it's me. I'm their blood after all. As i accept my flaws, I also know it's not entirely me. I just wanna know. do you really care about me and love me or talking to me is just your convenience? And do you really consider me your friend? I don't get it sometimes. When I'm gone, I don't feel like I'm missed but when you're gone I feel empty. I don't have many options for myself. None of you are unaware of that. I would very much like to be alone forever but the transition isn't easy especially at this point of my life so i really don't have the option here to fuck up my whole life and leave. Because I'm not courageous enough. The last time I was that courageous was the most peaceful and unbothered phase of my life but it ended soon. And so I'm always hoping that I get left. I look forward to it. It feels like a fucking paradox. I wanna be here but I don't find here being here. Here is not constant. Here does not want me sometimes. Here would kill for me sometimes. Here is confusing. Here is scary. I step back when I want to shout because here is fucking shallow and I hear my voice back and here is manipulating so it makes me feel like I'm a piece of shit to say those terrible things. And then here stays with me. Like a lump in my bile. Here is now at my throat. Here is suffocating and i can't leave here because here is in the air as well. Here is too far. Here has me in its claws. Here is also keeping me alive. Here is driving me insane. And let me tell you as respectfully as I can, NONE OF YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND. YOU NEVER WILL. I FUCKING ENVY YOU. That is not a thing to be proud of. That is my tragedy. That is here. And even for feeling like that here makes me feel like I'm a terrible person.

unsent messages

[iphisesque]

So like what's the deal with the incest stuff. Is it a bit? Did you actually fuck one or both of your parents? Do you just want to? You don't seem, like, upset about it in a way I'd expect if you'd been abused as a child, but maybe my expectations aren't right. Sorry if this is rude but your posts are confusing me.

it is a bit rude but i do want to answer it in earnest just to like clear things up and whatnot (and tbh i doubt there's any way to ask this question nicely so i don't blame you at all lmao).

[very long ramble under the cut in case you understandably don't care or don't want to hear about this; tw for parental abuse and incest]

i didn't actually have sex with either of my parents, i went through a lot of abuse and neglect on both their parts in ways i am not comfortable just enumerating online and that honestly i am not yet comfortable facing in general; i was also raised in a very weird way, which i don't even mean as a negative thing, but one of the things my family believes in (to varying degrees) is that i am on some level the reincarnation of my late grandfather, whom my mother has an actual proper electra complex about. i don't like to throw around the word "emotional incest", im not an expert or a professional and it's a word that gets thrown around way too much to have any credibility anymore, but i do think there was some of that going on with my mother, simply by virtue of our situation being the way it was — struggling single mom with a chronic illness and her eldest star prodigy daughter, tale as old as time or whatever.

i never liked my father, not since i was a child, and i honestly dreaded spending time with him whenever i had to; i definitely saw my mom as a respite from having to go to my father's place or even interact with him at all, not entirely deservedly, since with some distance i can see that he was trying to do his best and that my mother was almost as abusive as him. regardless, it was very much the least of two evils, and there was a long time when i was a teenager that i absolutely hated my mother nearly as much as i hated my father: part of that is definitely due to our clashing opinions on how i should dress and carry myself, she always wanted me to be more feminine-presenting and "sexual" whereas i wanted to be as masculine and modest as possible (which is definitely how i present now, and i do think with time she's grown to understand that it wasn't a phase). at the same time, i also understood this preoccupation as her just wanting me to be like my peers and not be socially ostracized, whereas my father's homophobia and dislike of my gender presentation i had trouble perceiving as anything but him being disappointed he couldn't control me (again, not entirely deservedly).

there would be a lot to get through here, but essentially: neither of my parents were good to me, my mother was the least bad and we clung to each other like lifeboats, my father i could not bear to be around and me and my sister would try as hard as we could not to go see him or spend time with him, so i adapted to my mother's toxic environment as best as i could. i recognized this situation as bad and unhealthy, and i was itching to leave, literally counting down the days until my graduation when i was 13: leaving home was always my dream, especially since my parents and especially my mother were never able to leave their own, and when it came time to make my decision for university i went to rome in a heartbeat (whenever i complain about this city it is with the utmost understanding that she is my ticket to freedom).

however, i was so excited to sever the umbilical cord around my neck that i underestimated the degree to which i would suffer from it: i obviously did not miss my father, and i missed my sister very much as expected (and she's now all alone in the same hell i was stuck in, so i feel really guilty about leaving her), but i found myself missing home and my mother very intensely, i longed and still long to go back home even though i know for a fact i would be absolutely miserable if i did go back. me and my mother both have been sublimating that same homesickness of each other in a "romantic" way, i guess, missing each other like you would miss a life partner and acting accordingly — i suppose we were life partners, in a way, and i can't help feeling like this even knowing what she put me through, i can't help making excuses for her even though i know the reality of her actions, in a way that doesn't ring true for my father.

basically to answer your question, i feel like this incest thing i have going on is a sublimation or like archetypal rendition of my very complex feelings about my mother and my father: it's not that i want to do anything with them, it's a way my brain has found to cope with their abuse and with my present situation, and while definitely not the healthiest, i don't mind entertaining it for now, since it makes me feel good. i am at a point in my life where i cannot impose restrictions on my mind, so i just let myself feel how i feel and experience the world how i do: i am sure in the future i will think back on this season of my life and cringe, but i hope i will have enough grace towards my past self that i will be able to forgive myself and move on with my life. at the end of the day, i believe everyone is entitled to their feelings and that someone's thoughts are not as important as their actions, so the fact that i feel these things doesn't prevent me from being the person i want to be, especially since i don't go around sharing my thoughts on this in real life and risk actually triggering people. i express my thoughts on the internet because it's the ultimate safeword: if you are an actual victim of incest or someone who's otherwise triggered by incest and my blog understandably makes you upset, you can just close it and block me and never look at it again, just as i do with e.g. eating disorder blogs: this says nothing about us as people, just that we know what we can and cannot bear to see and are able to act accordingly.

i hope this was a somewhat clear explanation and that i answered your question to satisfaction! it goes without saying that my fascination with fictional incest and its horror is somewhat detached from my own incestuous feelings, though there's obviously some overlap insofar as your personal experiences inform the types of art you enjoy: i was as young as 12-14 and fascinated by incest literature, i always understood that fiction and reality were two separate matters (and that fiction can treat horrific topics with the respect and gravity they deserve and that is often absent from real life discussion of those very same topics) — though i am sure my subconscious did pull from those very themes and archetypes i enjoy reading about when it was developing this coping mechanism, that's just how the human mind works.

[iwadori]

So I'm reading your works and I love them !! I was thinking of requesting some kind of drabble or whatever you like, about a female reader who has thick thighs and is somewhat plump and is in love with Tsukishima but he makes a comment about the food and she feels bad and when she meets Bokuto in the boot camp Bokuto is too cute and attentive to her asking for her number and a date. If you don't feel comfortable with this, just ignore it and good luck with your blog. Sorry my english is bad<3

When they make you insecure PT 5 (tsukishima,bokuto)

Part One Part Two  Part Three Part Four  Part Five Part 6

Word Count: 2.6K

Genre: Angst to Fluff

masterlist

Tsukishima

You and Tsukishima have been dating in your first year (as you both went to the same middle school together.)

You were in love with Tsukishima, you always have been to be honest, but once you became officially boyfriend and girlfriend your feelings amplified.

But recently, Tsukishima hasn’t been so nice.  

“Y/N we’re going on another training camp at Nekoma” Hinata exclaimed running up to you, as you leaning against Tsukishima “and you get to come too this time!”

You recently became the new trainee manager as the third-year manager, Kikyoko, is going to graduate. Tsukishima acted as if you being around all the time in practice was the worst thing in the world, but Yamagucchi always assured you that ‘Tsukki’ was just joking.

“Oh well that’s fun...” you say entertaining Hinata’s excitement. You were kind of excited to go to the training camp too, as it was in Tokyo after all. You were always a big fan of volleyball as your dad used to play for the national team and you were planning to play on the girls team this year but you felt that you didn’t have the body for it (which was obviously not true.)

Hinata kept on rambling on before Tsukishima insulted him. “Gosh Kei, you don’t have to be so rude.” you complained, he slightly nudged you off of him and put on his headphones showing you that he was not in a good mood.

You let the rest of the practice continue, making notes of things and basically being Kiyoko’s shadow. As it ended, you waited outside for Tsukishima to walk home with you, but one of the guys told you he left 5 minutes ago. You knew there was no point of chasing after him so you just walked on your own, making you sigh in defeat.

Tsukishima was what you would describe as hot and cold. Some days he was fine a ‘perfect gentlemen’ but other days, days like this Tsukishima was just Tsukishima.  

When you got home, you decided to watch matches of all the other schools just to get some insight. You were watching a Fukarodani V Nekoma match from a few years ago and something caught your eye, well someone did to be more specific. A beefy, bicolour haired boy who was hooting like an owl was mesmerizing to watch.

You saw that his name was Bokuto Koutarou which triggered your next actions, which were to internet stalk him. You learned that he was the captain of the team and the team’s ace and the 5th ace in the country which piqued your interest in the boy even more.

‘This is going to be an exciting training camp’ you think to yourself before going to sleep.

`Kiyoko gave you an itinerary of all the things you should bring, since you weren’t going to be joining in any of the matches you were reminded to bring things that would keep entertained.  

You get to the bus at the crack of dawn, ready to be driven to Tokyo. Hinata and Kageyama were already arguing (let’s pretend that they didn’t have to do the retakes in the test) Tanaka and Nishinoya were being loud, and the rest of the members were already asleep. You wanted to sit next to Tsukishima but when you were about to sit down, he put his carryon bag in the seat next to him.

The bus ride was around 4-5 hours, and you spent your time reading and sleeping. Daichi got the loudmouths to calm down making the bus ride more tolerable. You suffered from slight motion sickness but you powered through.

When you arrived there, you saw all the other teams and their buses too. You felt a bit overwhelmed, seeing these tall boys just crowd around an entrance way. But too your surprise, noticing your slight anxiousness, Tsukishima grabbed your hand in a hand-hold.  

The Nekoma coach, explained how the day would pan out and where each team would be residing for the week. There was a lot of commotion getting everyone settled, Hinata and Nishinoya were basically bouncing off of the wall commenting on all the people and the place and how they’re going to ‘crush the competition.’  

You could tell that when the other teams were looking at Karasuno they were all staring at Kiyoko. Inquisitive about how there wasn’t only one girl manager but there was two. As you were walking your eyes locked with Bokuto Koutarou’s making yours widen, you blush and turn your head quickly.  

What you didn’t know was, after your small interaction, Bokuto elbowed Akaashi and said “Akaaashi AKKAAASHI, did ya see that? did ya?” he was flying with happiness “That girl from Karasuno smiled at me. She’s really pretty.”

“I think she’s from Karasuno” Akaashi said “So maybe you’ll see her around”

Bokuto stared off in the direction you were walking in “Yeah, hopefully.”

The first day, everyone got settled in and then the teams went straight into games. There were two different gyms and today, in gym 1, you were watching Karasuno V Nekoma. (By the way I literally don’t remember the teams at the training camp besides Nekoma, Karasuno and Fukarodani.) The game was very back a point each team making point after point, you already knew of Nekoma’s captain, Kuroo Testurou and the setter Kenma, you’ve actually played games with Kenma online before so you were fairly acquainted with him already.

The games ended and it was now dinner time, the canteen was packed with all the boys rushing to line up for the food. You waited at the back of the line, not really caring about when you got your food. Suddenly, you felt a tap on your shoulder and you looked over to see Boktuo,  

“Hi.” he said “I’m Bok-”

“Bokuto Koutarou!” You finished “I'm a big fan..” you cringed immediately at your excitement ‘pull it together Y/N’ you scold yourself.

“Oh well hi, I’m glad you know who I am” he said “and may I ask for your name?”  

“Oh I’m Y/N L/N” you say with a slight blush “I'm the trainee manager from Karasuno.”  

“Cool! Well I hope to see you aro-” he starts  

“Y/N, I’ve been looking all over for you, I already got your food for you.” Tsukishima said pulling at your arm a bit harshly, dragging you over to a table with the Karasuno team.

“Gosh Tsukki, no need to be so harsh” you say rubbing at your wrist, he didn’t apologize and just started eating his food.  

You look down at your plate and see the small portion that Tsukki got for you. The Karasuno bunch was being loud, as they usually are, so when you whisper “Tsukki what the fuck is this” whilst nudging him in the side, he didn’t hear you (or atleast he pretended he didn’t.) You tried again but a little louder saying, “Tsukishima what the fuck is this.” you realised you said it a bit too loud as the whole Karasuno table stopped their conversations to look over at the slight commontion you caused.

“What do you mean Y/N?” he said with a slight smirk on his face.

“I mean what’s with the portion size of a bird that you gave me?” you ask getting upset “Do you really think im that big?”

“Well, you could start eating less that’s for sure.” he said earning gasps from you and some of the people sitting at the table “Y/N let's face it, you eat like a pig and you look like an elephant, me making your food portion smaller is the least I could do.”  

By now you had tears in your eyes, Tsukishima was a dick. You knew this, everybody knew this to be honest, yet you still loved him. He wasn’t like this in middle school, yes he was a bit snarky and rude (but wasn’t every middle schooler?) High school Tsukishima was like a completely different person. As much as you wanted to run away and hide, you knew you couldn’t.  

So you stood up and said “Tsukishima, I’ve spent 3 years loving and pining after you, because I thought you were this great guy, but turns out you’re a huge asshole” you start making some of the people listening in smile in laughter “Tsukishima, I’ve hated this past year dating you, you’ve been such a huge dick and I’m finally stopping you. I can’t do this anymore. I won’t.” You start making your way to exit before finally saying “Oh and by the way I’m not the pig here, you are... oh and I’m breaking up with you.” You left, hearing a few laughs and some claps behind you.

You felt relieved, like the massive cloud that’s been over your head is finally gone. You went to the gym since you knew it was empty and picked up a ball to just throw it around a bit. After a while of ‘de-stressing,’ you hear someone else enter the gym.

“Oh I didn’t know you’d be here.” said Bokuto  

“Well here I am,” you say awkwardly “I can leave if you want me too, I know this is for actual volleyball players.”

“No no it’s fine you can definitely stay, in fact do you mind setting for me?” he asks  

“Sure, of course I don’t mind” you reply, excited you get to play with someone.  You haven’t played in ages, you always begged Tsukishima to just throw a ball around with you but he never did.  

You set to Boktuo a lot, with him always asking for ‘another one’ everytime he spiked the ball. Eventually, you were tired of setting and wanted to spike. You originally was a spiker to begin with taking after your dad. Thats why you took a liking to Bokuto in the first place cause he reminded you of the joys you had when watching your father play.

Bokuto set a ball to you and you spiked it with great strength and accuracy smiling at the burning feeling you felt in your palm.  

“Woahh” Bokuto shouted going towards you in amazement “Where did you learn how to spike like that?”

“From my dad, I don’t know if you heard of him before but my dad’s name is D/N L/N...?” you say

“D/N L/N, Y/N he is my idol!” he shouted again “I want to be just like him.”

“I think you can, I see a lot of similarites in the way you both play.” you say

“Really! And you’ve seen me play before..?” he asks

“Yeah, I watched some of your games before coming here... you’re really good” you shyly admit.

“Wow.”

You and Bokuto spend the rest of your time, talking about volleyball you’re interests, things you have in common, your likes and dislikes. Talking to Bokuto was refreshing, he didn’t randomly insult you or make snide comments about your weight or your looks. He just genuinely looked happy to be there talking to you, unlike Tsukishima.  

Seeing your change in mood, Bokuto stops talking and asks “are you alright? I forgot to ask earlier, but I saw what happened in the canteen and I hope you’re okay.”  

“Yeah I’m fine, it’s just things with me and Tsukishima reached a breaking point, I guess...” you say sniffling a bit talking about it “But it’s fine now I’ve broken up with him and I feel better already.”

“So you’re saying your single...?” he asked blushing a bit

“Yeah I guess I am...” you smile blushing also.  

“Okay great...well I hope this isn’t too forward after everything happened with Tsukki and all but...” he starts “but would you like to go on a date with me?”

“Who me?” you ask as if you weren’t the only other person in the room

“No the volleyball” he responds sarcastically “Of course you Y/N.”  

“Are you sure, cause to be honest Bokuto you’re a really good-looking guy” you say making him smile widely “so I think you need someone to match your level in attractiveness” you look down and his smile drops.

“What do you mean?” he asks before realising all the stuff Tsukishima said about you “Y/N you’re beautiful, your face, your body just you.” you blush at his words “when I first saw you when you were walking past us in the entrance way the first thing I thought and said about you was “Akaashi who is that girl she’s beautiful.””  

“Really?” you ask with disbelief

“Mhm” he nods excitedly “So will you go on a date with me?”  

“I guess so...” you say a bit unsure

“HEY HEY HEY!” he exclaims “I gotta go tell akaashi!” he runs out of the gym in a hurry making you laugh, but he comes back to give you a quick unexpected kiss on the cheek making you smile.

You checked your phone for the time realising that you’ve been with Bokuto for 3 hours and you knew that everyone would be going to sleep now. As you are the manager you slept seperately from the rest of the team but before you went to your sleeping quaters you went to Karasunos.  

“Y/N where have you been? We’ve been worried about you.” asked yammagucchi  

“It’s fine yams don’t worry about it, guys” you say catching everyones attention “I just wanted to apologise to you for my outburst at dinner, it wasn’t my intention to cause a scence.”

“It’s fine Y/N” said sugawara “He definitely deserved it.”

“Yeah as your marvellous senpai we gave him a good telling off” said Tanaka and Nishinoya  making you chuckle.  

“Okay well thanks guys, I’m going to sleep goodnight.”

“Wait Y/N can I speak with you.” asked Tsukishima gesturing to outside the room

“Umm sure” you respond following him into the corridor.

“I just want to say I’m sorry for the things I’ve said and done over the past year and how I’ve been a terrible boyfriend, you don’t deserve that. So, I’m sorry.”  

“I can’t say I can forgive you yet.” you say making Tsukishima look sad “but maybe with effort from you we can become friends possibly?”  

“Just friends?” he said with hope in voice thinking that you could be something more.

“Just friends.” you repeated and confirmed “Besides I have been asked on a date”  

“With who?”  

“None of your business stingyshima” you mock the nickname that Hinata calls him making him scowl and you smile “Goodnight.”

After Bokuto’s confession and Tsukishima’s apology, the rest of the training camp went off without a hitch. In your breaks and lunchtimes, you got to know more about Bokuto and with Kuroo’s help you even got to sneak out to actually go on your date. You sometimes even went to practice with them getting to show off your skills, with Bokuto cheering you on and complimenting you every single time.  

Tsukishima kept his distance for the most part, and kept the snarky comments about you and Bokuto to himself (even though he was dying to say them.) You eventually fully forgave Tsukishima in your 3rd year but you definitely weren’t as close as you used to be. Tsukishima’s comments and actions did affect you for a while however with the help of your loving boyfriend, you were reminded how beautiful you are no matter what weight, shape or height you were.

You and Bokuto stayed together, you made sure to come to every one of his games and when you introduced him to your dad he fainted on sight. Your dad and Bokuto got along, and became very close friends, Bokuto always came to him for advice (especially volleyball advice.) You loved Bokuto and he definitely loved you too.

AN: I hope you liked it, since I didn’t want to make it too similar too the Atsumu insecure one. And I feel like it dragged out a bit but got rushed in the endd....but oh well...

[chickensarentcheap]

Sanctuary -Chapter 42

Warnings: none

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @alievans007​, @thunderintheshadows​, @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @valkyrie-of-the-light​

Despite the suffocating humidity and sweltering heat, it's a relief to get out of the hotel. She'd spent the last three days confined within the four walls of their room, trying desperately to keep her mind off of not only what happened at McMann's house, but the terrifying consequences that followed. Plagued by incessant worry about the safety and well being of the kids,  waiting on pins and needless for the random and all to brief updates that Ovi would send throughout the day.  And now the torturous minutes and hours before the IRA would get back to them with their decision.  The fates of the McMann kids...and their own...in the hands of the very kind of people that Tyler went into battle against while on the job.  It's a nauseating turn of events; having to put all of your faith and hope into individuals known world wide for the brutal acts.  To trust them to save lives instead of ending them.

Tanis sticks tight to her side. It was the one and only stipulation that she'd had to agree to for a short couple hours of freedom; the other woman could not leave her side, and under no circumstances was she to wander off on her own. Not even if it was only a couple feet away. There was no telling who was a threat now;  with McMann and the Buckmans working together, their reach is incredibly long and they have endless resources and people at their disposal.  If she wanted to get outside and attempt to function as a 'normal' member of society, she had to have protection at all times.  Tanis is pleasant enough;  talkative,  articulate,  educated on a wide variety of subjects that helps keep conversation lively and fresh. Tall and athletically built; broad shoulders and fit, well toned muscles, her blond hair cropped short to her head in a stylish and modern pixie, dazzling green eyes that are constantly taking in the people and the action around them.   She doesn't carry herself with an unabashed cockiness that most Marines do;  her posture is loose instead of rigid,  she smiles often,  she doesn't puff out of her chest in an attempt to intimate anyone that so as much looks in their direction. To the untrained eyed, they'd appear as if they were just two friends out for a day on the town; chatting and laughing, bags of shopping on their arms. But Esme knew the truth. Which the woman is really there.  And she knows that there's gun tucked into a holster on Tanis' right hip, hidden under the baggy white t-shirt she sports. This is a job. Nothing more, nothing less.  Once it's over, they'll each go back to their separate lives. It's the way things have to be; you don't fraternize with the client. All ties cut the moment the job is finished and money has exchanged hands. It's easier that way. No bonds formed, no feelings hurt.

Ovi is an exception to the rule.    He'd needed further protection; he wasn't safe in Mumbai, not with his father in prison, Saju dead, and Asif's associates looking for payback.  And most importantly, he'd needed a chance at a real life. He'd needed to know what it was like to part of a family. To have people that respect and love him. For far too long he'd gone through life being treated like a thing instead of a person, and it had been a difficult adjustment for him. Going from having 'handlers' and paid help to having parent figures and siblings. It had been a struggle for him to adapt; their rules were incredibly lax compared to those that had been placed upon him in Mumbai, but they were still things that were expected of him.  And he'd struggled to go from the rigidly strict to the rather relaxed and casual.  It wasn't just a chance of scenery, but an entirely different change of pace and a way of life.  No private schools, no chauffeurs taking him place to place. He had set curfew but was allowed to have friends; he could go to the mall, take in a movie, hang out a park. He no longer had people hovering over him and dictating his every move. And as much as he'd hated that life...his old life, it had still been hard to not be controlled in such fashion.

It had been good to talk to him that morning. He'd sounded tired, but he was happy. Secured in his ability to keep himself, Chloe and the kids safe. There was no evidence of fear or uncertainty in his voice. The trust that Tyler had placed him had been an enormous ego boost; he was confident, resolved, with no worries about who may be following them or may try to get to the kids. He would handle it. Those were his exact words. Whatever...whoever...came their way, he wasn't the least bit afraid.  A stark change from the slightly immature and self conscious kid that they'd left behind almost two weeks ago.  And it was the first time since Tyler had told her that he'd put Ovi in charge of their kids that she'd felt truly confident in his decision.

“Forgive me for asking this,” Tanis says, as they wander through the main shopping district; sipping smoothies and chatting like old friends. “And I hope I don't come off to personal or sounding rude.”

“I live with five males, I have been asked an obscene amount of personal questions and pretty much heard every possible rude comment under the sun in the past five and a half years,” Esme grins. “I have two four year old's that are obsessed with fart jokes and think the word 'ass' is the funniest thing they've ever heard. Do you know what that's like? That much 'boy' in one house? I mean, my husband has enough testosterone for half the planet, I swear. Never mind adding in his three mini me's and a teenage boy.”

Tanis laughs. “My parents had all girls. I'm the last of five. I thought that was hell to grow up in.”

“Oh don't get me wrong, I would take five girls over one boy any day. My girl has been a walk in the park compared to raising boys. I mean, she's full of attitude and piss and vinegar, but she's been so easy. She picked up everything so quick and she's been always so eager to learn new things. And she's obsessed with cleanliness and tidiness. But the boys? Oh my god. How do they get pee everywhere? Are they not paying attention? Are they waving it around like firehouse? How does it get on the floor, the baseboards and the wall but none in the actual toilet? Ughhh...” she shudders.  “...that's why I won't clean the bathrooms anymore. That's a man's job. So gross.”

“Sounds like there's never a dull moment at your place,” Tanis grins.

“It's a zoo. I'm not even joking. It's mess and it's noise and it's utter chaos. But at the same time, it's awesome. It's our mess and our noise and our chaos. You get used to it. And you miss it when it's gone. This last week and a half has been hell. Not being under the same roof as them. Not being able to hug them and kiss them and tuck them in at night. I complain about the craziness, but I miss it. As weird as that sounds.”

“That doesn't sound weird to me. That sounds pretty normal, actually. This will all be over. This whole nightmare. And we'll get you back home. Where you belong.”

Esme gives a smile of appreciation.  The words have a nice sentiment behind them, but there's still so much that has be done. So much risk involved.  And she tries to push those thoughts out of her mind.  Not wanting to think about what could go wrong, but what will go right. “What did you want to ask me?” she inquires, as she sips at the smoothie in her hand. It's about all she can stomach. If that. Nothing has been staying down despite the anti nausea (and baby safe) medication a local pharmacist had recommended her. It's always been bad; fatigue and all day sickness (never mind just the morning), but it's never been this bad.

“How the hell did you ever wind up with Mark? Because he's a bit of a...”

“Douche canoe?”

“Well I was going to say prick, but douche canoe works too.  I mean, he's my boss and I have to respect while on the clock and in his presence, but what the fuck is his issue? He's a total ass wipe.”

“And this is him being friendly and diplomatic if you can believe that. This is his good and charming side. Wait until you get to meet the rest of him. It's a real treat. To say the least.”

“How did you ever end up with him? You seem so...I don't know...normal...”

Esme laughs. “Don't ever let Tyler hear you say. He can tell you that I am far from normal.”

“Mark is just so...Mark...and you're just so...you.  You're just both so different from one another.  He treats everyone like shit and you seem so welcoming and friendly with people. I find it hard to believe that someone like you would even get mixed up with such a complete and utter tool.”

“He talked a good game when I first met him.  I hadn't been in the Corps for very long. I didn't have much life experience under my belt. And suddenly this older guy showing interest in me. He was mature, charming, he had a very authoritative way about him that was strangely appealing. He was my commanding officer, so there was that whole rush you get when you know you're going against the rules and there will be hell to pay if you get caught.  I was young. Inexperienced. And stupid. So very, very stupid.”

“Is it true he let a stewardess give him a blow job in the plane bathroom on the way back from your honeymoon?”

“Sadly, yes. That's one hundred percent true. I should have just dumped his ass when that happened. Got the marriage annulled. But he swore he'd never do anything like that again and it was just a 'one off' and he got all that kind of behaviour out of his system.  So I believed him. Stupid little naive girl that I was.”

“So it got worse instead of better?”

'Not right away. It got better. And it stayed that way for about eight months and then he just went off the deep end. He'd gotten back from Iraq and was having a hard time with some of the things he saw and heard over there. Which, don't get me wrong. I get.  That shit fucks with your head. There's even things now that still bother me. Images and sounds and smells that come back out of nowhere. But he went right off the reservation.  It's like something inside him snapped and he couldn't hold back his true self any longer.  I should have left right away...the first time he ever hit me...but...” she shrugs.

“People think it's so easy.  That it's as simple as just packing your things and walking out. That it's not. Nothing is ever that simple.”

“You've been through it too?”

Tanis nods. “My ex husband was the exact same. He was a narcissist. And a sociopath. A violent one. I stayed for three years. I lost everything because of him. My friends, my family. They didn't understand why I didn't just walk away. I tried explaining to them that it wasn't that easy, but they didn't get it.”

“People don't if they haven't lived through it themselves,” Esme reasons. “I used to be one of those people. Who used to judge the women for not leaving. Then I became one  of those women. It woke me the hell up right quick, let me tell you.  I put up with his shit for two and a half years.  And in a way, I'm still putting up with that. That crap never leaves you. It stays in the back of your mind. All the horrible things they've said. All the times they've told you that weren't good enough or that no one could ever possibly love you because of how messed up you are, or that someone could never love you the way they do.  You think you've gotten over it, but you haven't. It's always there.”

“And then when you do meet someone and are happy, all those come out and work against you. And you listen to them. And you believe them.”

“Exactly. It's a vicious circle. It's a horrible existence. And it takes someone really strong and really patient to help you deal with all of that.”

“You found that though,” Tanis smile. “Someone like that. You're one of the lucky ones.”

“I have put that man through hell. Or my brain has, I should say. I have snapped and said some horrible, horrible shit to him.  I think about some of the things I've said to him and I want to crawl into a hole and die. Tyler has his issues, don't get me wrong.  He is far from perfect.  But he sure as hell doesn't deserve the things I've said to him. But he sticks around. Shockingly.”

“Because he knows that's not you saying the things you say. He knows it's what you've been through. And he loves you. Anyone can see that. It really burns Mark's ass you know,” Tanis chuckles. “Seeing the two of you together. The one the two of you look at one another.  He can not handle it.”

“That's because he's such a miserable fuck, he expects everyone else to be too.  Can you believe my own mother stayed friends with him? Knowing what he'd put me through? How messed up is that? She loves Mark but hates Tyler because he's the one took me away from my home and forced me stay in Australia and blah blah blah.  That is her sole reasoning for not liking him. Yet Mark is a total sleaze ball who gets off on hitting women and she loves him. “

“She sounds just as messed up as Mark.”

“You think? She's a real piece of work. And now Nik is hooked with him? Of all people that I thought would be smarter than that, it's her. She is far from being a stupid woman. Or a weak one.  Yet she chooses to be with him? Ughhh...” Esme shudders dramatically.  “...if that isn't enough to make me puke, I don't know what is. And believe me, I don't need any extra reasons to puke. Do you have kids?”

“No. But I haven't completely ruled them out. I'm in a good place with my life right now. I've met a pretty good guy. We're taking things slow, but...”

“Zak, right?”

“How'd you...?”

“It's all in the way he looks at you. The way he watches you when you talk. That little smile he has when you walk into the room. It must be a guy thing.  Maybe they're better at expressing it with their faces than they are with their words. Tyler gets so embarrassed if someone brings up 'the look'.  And he tries denying its mere existence, but it's there. Whether he wants to admit it or not. He doesn't like to talk about those things.  But let me just say this, he's not always a hard ass. He's got a soft side to him, and a huge heart. But whatever you do, do not tell him I told you that. He will deny, deny, deny and I'll never hear the end of it.”

“I know Mark's my boss and I should probably watch the things I say out of respect for him, but...”

“No. Speak your mind, girl.  You probably don't have anything to say about him that I haven't said a million times myself.”

“...you really traded up the second time around. Like you went from here...” she holds her hand just below her waist “....to here...” she raises her hand way above her head.  “...and I totally didn't mean that to represent the difference in size, but I guess it's appropriate.  You went from like grade F beef to like Triple grade A.”

“The difference is night and day. In every respect.  And that's what makes thing even more screwed up. Because your brain believed everything some asshole said, so you have no idea how to even let someone love you.  You're so used to being treated like garbage that when a decent guy comes along, you don't know how to deal with him.  You expect the worst, get the best ,and then you don't know what to do with it.”

“So you get scared and push it away,” Tanis concludes.

“Exactly. And believe me, I pushed long and hard for a while. And he refused to budge.  He just tried even harder.  And believe me, there were many times he could have told me to go fuck myself and taken off and he would have had every right to do it. But he never did.  He's a stubborn shit, let me tell you.  Which is probably why he didn't die that day on the bridge in Dhaka. Everything has be on Tyler's terms. It's your way or his way. There is no in between. He has to be in control. I guess he figured he hadn't lost all control yet so why give up?”

Tanis smiles. “Something tells me you had something to do with it to. I mean, you stuck around for a guy you barely knew.”

“Well the sex was amazing and I wasn't ready to let that go yet. I wasn't finished using him for his body yet.”

The other woman laughs at that.

“In all honesty,  I did what I dd because I wanted to. Because it felt like the right thing to do. He was in that mess because of me. Well Ovi, too. But if he hadn't have kept us around, he wouldn't have gotten out of there and not ended up as fucked up as he was. Sometimes I wonder if he regrets it. That he did decide to keep us around. If he wishes he'd listened to Nik and just left us in the street.  I mean, he wouldn't have all the issues that he has now if he had have ditched us.”

“I have a feeling that he never even considered the ditching you guys part.”

“He says he didn't. That it was never an option. But I couldn't really blame him if he thought about it at least once. It's all about survival right? Self preservation? Sometimes the only person you can worry and care about is yourself.”

“It must have been hard. The aftermath. Of Dhaka.”

“It was...” she fidgets with the straw in her drink,  pulling it up, pushing it back down,  trying to find the appropriate words to describe exactly what it had been like. Without completely losing her grip on her own emotions. She's normally a sensitive person to begin with, but now the hormones have decided to cause havoc within her body and even the smallest of dirty looks from someone have her ready to burst into tears.  Just that morning she'd had a meltdown because the mint of the hotel toothpaste was 'too strong'.

“...hard...” she says.  “It was hard. To see someone like that. All the tubes and all the wires and bandages and stitches and what not. He was a mess. He should not have survived that. Even the doctors told me when they took him to surgery when we first got there that they didn't think he'd even get off the table alive.  And he almost didn't. He coded three times. They said if there had been fourth, they wouldn't even have bothered to bring him back. That the lack of oxygen would have led to a catastrophic brain injury.”

It's painful to relive it. Even more painful than those moments on the bridge when she'd fought to keep him alive.  The agonizingly long wait in the OR family are; that bloody and torn tactical vest clutched tightly to her chest. The one that she'd nonsensically tried to scrub clean in one of the public bathrooms because he 'might need it again'. The doom and the gloom that had been in the surgeon's voice and in all the voices of the doctors and specialists that had come and gone through his room in the ICU.  Not one of them believed he would make it. The blood loss was too severe. The damage too great.  He'd never be the man he was before. Maybe not even a fraction of it. And the more they tried to prepare her to say goodbye, the tighter she held on.

“And I know that sounds weird because I'd just met him and there's no way I should have ever felt that strongly about him so soon...” she continues. “...but I can't explain it.  I can't explain what I felt. I just know I felt it. And I wasn't ready to let him go. We had too much to look forward to. Plans we made. We were legitimately going to work at things and see where we really stood in each others lives. If there was more to it than those five days in Dhaka. But we never got the chance. It didn't go the way we wanted it to.”

“But things worked out,” Tanis reasons.  “In the long run.  It might have been what you had planned, but they still worked out. Look how far you guys have come. From that day until now.”

“Yeah, he's still trying to solve everyone else's problems and getting hurt doing it.”

“I don't mean in that way. As in the job.  He made it out of that hospital. Even when all logic and even science said he shouldn't. He survived that and now look.  You're married, you've got amazing kids, one on the way...” she gives a smile, and pats Esme on the tummy. “...it's a great life. Even if doesn't seem that way sometimes.”

“Yeah. It is actually,” she agrees, and then smiles as she lays her own hand on her stomach. It will be a while before her body starts to visibly change. She'd been nearly twenty weeks before even the slightest bit of a bump began to show with Millie.  The twins had shown earlier, obviously. And Declan had just been enormous right from the start.  He was easily going to be over six feet tall by the time he hit his teen years, and probably built like a linebacker.

“Last one?” Tanis asked, nodding down at Esme's stomach.

“Oh hell yeah. This is it. I thought we were done at three. At least we agreed to stop at three. After the twins, we were done. That was it. Declan was a complete and total shock. We were actually using birth control and that kid still made his appearance. So if anything was meant to be, it's him.  And then we decided why not one more , and well,  it happened a lot sooner than we thought it would, but it happened.”

“I like to think things like this happen for a reason,” Tanis says. “Everything says that your Declan shouldn't be here. In the same way that doctors and science and all rational logic say hat Tyler shouldn't be here. But they both are.”

“When you put it that way, maybe I should play the lottery. With those kinds of odds running in my house,”  Esme muses.  “I know how lucky I am. That Tyler even survived. I saw how bad he was; the amount of blood he lost.  He honestly probably should have never made it off the bridge alive.   And sometimes I think it take it for granted that he did.  That I take him for granted.  I'm just so used to him being around that I sometimes forget how close it came to him not being around.”

“I think we're all guilty of that. Taking the people in our lives with granted.  Their presence for granted.”

“Makes me feel like a shitty human when I think about it. All the times where he's annoyed the shit out of me and wish he would go away and leave me alone. What if I wished those things and it happened? What if the last words I ever said to him were awful? If I actually let him walk out the door without telling him I love him. Imagine having to spend the rest of your life with that kind of guilt?”

“It's why we can't let a day go by without telling people how we feel about them,” Tanis says.  “We have to live each day with someone as if it's the last we'll ever spend with them”

****

She's startled to see him when she arrives back at the hotel; there are still two hours before his meeting with McMann and he hadn't planned on returning until after it was over.   So it's a nice surprise...and a huge relief...to see him there lounging in the middle of the middle. Leaning back against the headboard with those long legs stretched out in front of him, his hand clasped at the back of his neck, his eyes closed.   He doesn't respond to the sound of the door opening and closing; not a single muscle twitching throughout his body or in his face. Chest slowly rising and falling with each steady breath he takes. And she ditches her shopping bags and purse in the closet by the door and kicks off her shoes, bare feet against the soft carpet as she wanders further into the room.  The mattress dipping slightly as she climbs onto it,  shuffling on her knees towards him and then climbing into his lap, a knee on either side of him, arms around his torso and head resting on his shoulder.  She closes her own eyes; he's warm and soothing, his body hard and strong, his familiar scent still intoxicating after all these years.. And when she sighs against him he finally moves; turning his face towards hers and pressing a kiss to her forehead, both arms wrapping around her.

“Hi,” she says, voice muffled against the side of his neck.

'Hi.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I'm staying in this room too,” he playfully reminds her.

“You weren't supposed to be back until later.”

“Well I came back early.”

“Why?”

“Because I missed you and wanted to see you.”

He can feel her smile against his throat.  “That's a very good reason,” she declares, a places a kiss to the scar that mars his neck; the one that will forever serve as a reminder to just how close he'd come to ceasing to exist.

“The best reason,” he says, his palm moving in slow, smooth circles in the middle of her back. “Did you eat something?”  He can't help himself; his protective nature is coming out in full force. It's bad enough when it's just her he's worrying about and trying to keep safe, but now there's a baby inside of her and he has twice as much to lose.

“A little bit. What your spawn will let me keep me down.”

“When we get home and we get you into a doctor you can go on that medicine you were on the last time. It helped, yeah? You didn't puke that much with Declan.”

“It was a life saver,” she confirms.  “You smell good.”

“You wouldn't have said that a half an hour ago, trust me.”

“Even on your worst days you don't smell that bad. I kind of like how you smell. Even on your stinky days.”

“You smell good too...” he turns his face towards her, nose against her temple.   “...strawberries?”

“Your favourite.”

“Yeah...” he grins.  “...they are.”

She relaxes against him; the curves of her body soft and supple against firm muscle.  She keeps her eyes closed; unable to look at that scar for too long. Normally it doesn't bother her; it serves as a daily reminder that he is still alive and she is lucky to have him.  But today it hurts; it cuts deep and vicious and she can't bear it.  

“Where were you when you called?” she asks. “Your cell reception sucked.”

“That's why I hung up and sent you a text message instead.”

“Where were you?”

“Just had a team meeting.  With Yaz, Mark, and his guys.  In an industrial park about ten minutes from town.  We didn't want to take the chance that the wrong people saw us all together.”

“Makes sense.”

“Did Mark call you?”

She hears the tension in his voice, feels the way his muscles tighten, how that vein in the side of his throat begins to pulsate. “No. Why? Should he have called?”

“I thought maybe he would. To rat on me.  We sort of got into a thing.”

“Yeah?” she runs her fingernails along his hair line at the nape of his neck. “Did you finally beat his ass?”

“Not as much as I would have liked to, no. I think I broke his nose though.”

“Well considering you could have broken his neck, a broken nose is pretty tame. What did you get into it about?”

“What do you think?”

“Awww baby....”  she pushes her hand through his hair; letting the longer strands on top slip between her fingers. “...were you defending my honour?  My knight in slightly tarnished armour.”

“I said some things I probably shouldn't have said. But I fucking snapped and it all just came out.  He's just so fucking ignorant and smug and everyone thinks he's this great guy. Which makes me hate him even more. So I lost it. Said some shit I shouldn't have said in front of other people. About you and him.”

“I'm sure whatever you said, he had it coming. So...”

“It wasn't my place to say those things. About you.  I should have just kept my fucking mouth shut. But he just pissed me so bad and...”

“Tyler...” she pulls back to look at him, holding his face in her hands. “...I don't care what you said. It's things that should have been said a long time ago, I'm sure. It's probably things he needed to hear. And if you just so happened to punch him in the face while saying those things...”

“It was an elbow, actually.”

“I'm not going to be upset at you for sticking up for me.  Everything I told you about him...about all the things he did...it was all true. So I don't mind those words being out in the open now.  Maybe now that someone has finally brought them up and holding him accountable for his shit, he'll straighten himself out. You know he's seeing Nik right?”

“Yeah, I heard.”

“It doesn't bother you?”

“I think she can do a hell of a lot better.”

“You don't think it's weird that my ex is doing whatever with your ex?”

“She is not my ex.”

“Well maybe not an ex girlfriend, but she's an ex something.”

“Putting it that way means I have a lot of exes out there.”

“You dirty boy,” she winks at him. “No wonder you know how to do things you do. You have lot of practice under your belt. All those different women in all those different cities. Do you have a score sheet somewhere?”

“It's not that many.  But hey, a man has needs, so...” he shrugs.

“I guess you don't like studying alone that much after all,” she teases, and he gives a scowl and then wraps one arm around waist, lifts her into his chest and then dumps her onto her back in the middle of the bed.  “Is this where you punish me?” she inquires, as he kneels between her thighs and leans over her, a hand on either side of her head, outstretched arms bearing his weight.  “Is there where I get in trouble for being a smart ass?”

Tyler shakes his head, then places a chaste kiss to her lips before sliding down the bed; fingertips gentle as he pulls up the bottom of her t-shirt, pushes down the waistband of her shorts and then presses his lips to her stomach. Where their baby...his baby...is safe and secure. And it's a moment that is so pure and so beautiful...a moment of vulnerability from such a big, strong, brave man...that it brings tears to her eyes.

“Baby...” she reaches down to push his hair out of his eyes.  “...are you okay?”

He nods.

“You don't seem...I don't know...you.”

“I'm fine,” he assures her, giving her that that half frown, half smile that reveals that he is in fact, not fine at all.  And his hands are on her hips as he rests his forehead against her stomach.

“Tyler...” she tugs at his hair, forcing him to look up at her.  “...what's going on? And don't say nothing. Because I can tell there's something happening inside that brain of yours.”

He attempts another smile. This one a little brighter and reassuring. “You know how I get. Right before shit's about to go down.”

“No. This isn't that.  You don't act like this. You're quiet and sullen and broody when you're going into a job. This is different. You're different.”

“I love you,” he says.  “So much. I need you to know that.”

“Tyler...” she frowns. “...what is going on?”

“Say it,” he pleads. “I need to hear you say it.”

“I love you too. You know I do. Tell me what's wrong. I can tell something is wrong.”

“I just wanted you to know that. That I love you. You know, just in case.”

“Don't talk like that.  Please. I don't want to hear you talk like that.”

“There's something I need to do. Something I can't tell you about. It's better that you don't know. I need you to trust me.  That what I'm going to do, I'm doing for you. And the baby.  For our kids.  I don't want you to ask me about it.  Because I can't tell you. It's for your own good. And for mine.”

“Tyler...what...?”

“Just trust me, okay? I need you to trust me. That this is the way things have to be done. I wouldn't do it unless it needed to be done.  Just know that it's for you and my kids.”

“You're scaring me. What's going on?”

“I can't tell you. I'm sorry. I want to tell you. But I can't. I'm so sorry, Esme.”

She see the tears that well in his eyes, hears the emotion that  causes his voice to crack.  “You're going to be okay, right? At least tell me you're going to be okay.”

“I'll be okay,” he promises, pressing one last kiss to her stomach before moving up the bed, once more kneeling between her thighs as he takes her face her hands and kisses her. Long and soft. Heart breakingly sweet.  “I'll be okay.”

[arcanesupern0va]

Rick In The Water; Ch8: What It Is To Burn

Summary: Morty's actin' pretty weird my friend, wonder what's up with that.

A/N:   A L S O, sorry for the delay, but I was having a really hard time trying to figure how I wanted to do where the ending was originally heading. BUT I'm much happier with this chapter and the way the story goes with my change to the chapterter and the next one go hand in hand so it'll pick up exactly where this one leaves off. CW: Violence against Mortys? Pairing: Rick Sanchez/Reader Word Count: 6186

My ao3

Masterlist

|Ch7: Shameful Metaphors|

+Nova+

After the assault on the Citadel, Rick and I spent most days holed up in his garage or out with Morty adventuring. Ryan would try stopping by a couple of times to try catching me but most of the time Rick and I were so wrapped up in whatever issue of the week we were dealing with that I happily pushed seeing him back to a later date. I was hanging around Rick so much I barely saw Beth even though every morning I could depend on her leaving a cup of coffee for me on the coffee table as I woke up.

“Please, please just let me set you up in Jerry’s office. I promise he doesn’t use it,” she would insist every morning to my refusal and Jerry’s ire. Jerry stopped really arguing after a while at Beth’s less than amused reminders of his joblessness. I would insist the TV helped me sleep and I hated that I was taking up space in her house at all. She always relented, saying she was just glad I finally got away from Ryan.

I didn’t know how to explain to her why I preferred sleeping on the couch. How was I supposed to tell her I liked that Rick, in a rare show of affection, would come sit next to me and play with my hair until he couldn’t stay awake any longer? That Rick and I were three seasons deep into a binge of Cornless? That her father and I were in lo-

No, not necessarily… that.

Despite my craving to hear them for longer than I had ever even realized, we hadn’t even talked about it. I didn’t doubt them though, in every light kiss, in every spared glance, they were so goddamn apparent. Rick wasn’t one to be touchy-feely with emotions and after years of emotional beatdowns every time I showed an iota of emotion, neither was I.

One afternoon, we were sitting at his workbench in near silence while he tweaked his latest invention and I desperately searched for a new job. The hunt was going dismally, despite my years of experience.

“Hey babe, don’t worry about,” he murmured in my ear, causing me to jump out of my skin. Somehow without me even noticing, he’d rolled his chair around the workbench to me. “You can just help me out all day,” he assured me, kissing the top of my head gently before rolling back over to his invention. “Check this out.” Smiling, he extended a small tube out, leaving me to stare at it in confusion.

“What even is that?” I asked bluntly, causing his smile to droop slightly.

“I-It’s an enhancement for my arm. This body came with some upgrades,” he told me as though it would be the most obvious thing in the world. As I continued surveying it, even taking it into my hand to inspect it closer, he continued, “It’s a new barrel for my arm mounted pistol. I’m trying to make it even more accurate.” He snatched it out of my hand, returning to work on it protectively.

“This is why I can’t just help you out all day. I don’t even know what half of this stuff is.” I told him flatly.

“I-I could show you,” he insisted, sliding his chair over to the large utility shelf next to the garage door.

“Rick, do you really want to spend every second of every day with me?” I asked with the same flat tone.

“N-No, of course not,” he stammered, digging through the boxes.

“Then I need to get a job, I have to at least help Beth with expenses if Jerry’s not going to.” He paused, seeming to consider my words for a moment before resuming digging. “Then we can just send Jerry to live with Ryan and Beth and I can just be nice lesbian parents to Morty, Summer, and Madi.”

“Trying to collect the full Sanchez set? Got me, now you’re going after Beth too?” He stopped digging through his current box, moving over to his workbench and pulling one down from the shelf above.

“Oh, I collected Beth a while ago,” I told him innocently. His eyes bulged for a moment so I elaborated with a carefree shrug. “Teenage years are a confusing time.”

“Oh, that’s… why’d you have to go and make it weird? That’s weird, you’re weird,” he recoiled, actually looking grossed out.

“We didn’t do anything,” I soothed him, “I was just fucking with you old man.”

“You’re still weird.”

“You like it.”

“Shut up.”

He abandoned his search and we fell back into a comfortable silence for a while. Rick started on another project, something that looked like a supersonic set of headphones and I went back to my job hunting. I was inches away from slamming the laptop shut in frustration when Morty stormed in, looking angrier than I had ever seen him.

“R-Rick, I want to redeem my adventure card,” he demanded, handing a small punch card out to Rick. I raised my eyebrow at Rick but he just rolled his eyes and handed the card back to Morty.

“I don’t feel like going out right now, kid,” he shrugged, turning back to his invention. The source of Morty’s irritation appeared at the door in the form of Jerry wearing a very serious expression.

“Come on, kiddo, I just wanted to talk to you about it,” Jerry explained, exasperated. “It’s a talk a man and his son have at some point-”

“Come on Nova, Morty. We have places to be,” Rick said flatly. Morty quickly pulled Rick’s portal gun out of his pocket, punching in a destination and opening a portal for us to disappear in, much to Jerry’s frustration.

*+*

“So what in the hell was that all about?” Rick asked gruffly, using a laser sword from his lab coat to try and fight his way through the dense thicket of the planet Morty had portalled us to. I had stopped asking questions about how he could always be so prepared a long time ago, I always got the same answer. When you’re good, you’re good.

“He wanted to have the ‘talk.’ Look, I’d rather not talk about it, Rick. I-I came out here to get away from it, not discuss it at length with you two.” Morty grimaced, not breaking his stride and using his anger to quickly work his way through the tall brush.

“Okay, rude. You wanna at least tell me where we are?” Rick asked, trying his hardest not to sound annoyed. I followed behind the two, letting their frustration with each other carve me a path.

“I just punched in random numbers,” Morty replied with a shrug. “I just wanted to get out of there. There’s gotta be something here that’s useful for you.” The bitter note in his tone had Rick and me exchanging glances before continuing after him.

“So, if Morty doesn’t know where the fuck we’re at, do you?” I asked Rick, my own irritation bubbling under the surface. He pulled out his space phone, typing into the screen quickly with a steadily more and more irritated expression growing on his face.

“I have no fucking clue,” he groaned, shoving the device back into his pocket. “Let’s just go somewhere else Morty, I-I’m not wasting my afternoon mowing some random fucking planets backyard.” He reached for his portal gun, only to find it missing from his pocket. I pointed to Morty when he shot me a look of confusion and further irritation bled onto it. “Come on asshole, give it back, let’s go,” he growled at his grandson, extending his hand expectantly.

“I’m not going back into that fucking house,” Morty shot back, holding out the portal gun for Rick to grab. He left it within his reach until the last moment, whipping it away from his grasp right as his fist had ready to grasp it. “I’m not going home. We’ll find something here,” he told him simply, forcing the portal gun into the waist of his jeans.

“Morty, he didn’t say anything about going home,” I told him softly, holding my finger up to Rick hoping to silence him before he could start berating my godson again. “We’ll just go somewhere else. It’ll be fi-”

“Nova, this is my fucking adventure.” Morty twirled around to face me, his usually kind face contorted with rage. “We’re going to find something here, got it?”

“H-Hey buddy, calm down,” Rick shot at his grandson, eyeing him carefully. “That’s your fucking aunt, d-don’t talk to her like that.”

“Wh-Whatever Rick. Y-Y-You’re so worried about her being my aunt until you’re trying to get in her p-pants.” Morty turned to Rick, eyes burning with rage.“Then it’s totally fine, right Rick? All because you’re in l-love with her or something equally as stupid? F-Fucking hypocrite.”

“Fuck you, Morty,” Rick shot darkly, not meeting my gaze. “I haven’t even fucked her, t-that’s not why she’s around you little piece of shit.”

“No, fuck you, Rick. L-Let’s just keep going alright?” Morty picked up his pace, going further ahead of us, mumbling under his breath.

“So, he’s a damn delight to be around today,” I murmured to Rick, brushing up against him to comfort him. He didn’t respond, storming off to catch up to Morty and continue his tirade leaving me to trail behind them alone.

We came across a dark cave, dripping with stalactites that almost came into the shape of a large vicious mouth. Totally not ominous at all and yet Morty was peering through the entryway eagerly. “Let’s check this place out.”

“Yeah Morty, we should absolutely check out the terrifying cave that literally looks like it’s about to eat us,” I told him sarcastically.

“Nova, it’s my adventure, we’re going,” he told me angrily before pulling out a flashlight and venturing further within. I looked to Rick quickly only to receive a shrug as he followed Morty into the gaping maw of a cave entrance. Had everyone just lost their goddamn minds today?

“Really great adventure Mo*uuurp*rty,” Rick complained lazily as we walked through the cave. Morty stormed ahead, only taking care to avoid any obvious potential hazards while Rick and I walked slowly, his flashlight only illuminating so much. “Maybe Satan himself will be down here and I can ask him why he sent me such a shitty grandson.” I smacked his arm earning me a glare before he continued. “You’re going to get Nova and I killed down here.”

“Maybe if Satan is down here I can him wh-who the fuck you think you are old man,” Morty growled over his shoulder.

“Something’s wrong with Morty, Rick,” I told him urgently. The ground beneath us was slippery so I grabbed onto his arm to keep myself steady.

“Yeah, I noticed that already, Nova. I’m trying to figure out what the little shit is up to,” Rick hissed, glancing down at my hand with a look of irritation.

“The fuck is your problem?” I asked, releasing his arm spitefully.

“Nothing Nova, just trying to focus on Morty at the moment, that’s all,” he said distracted, taking advantage of my release on him and hurrying after Morty.

“Rick!” I whispered sharply. “You have the fucking flashlight you fucking dick!” Inky darkness fell over me as Rick disappeared around a corner ahead of me. I tried my best to navigate through the pitch black, running into far more walls than intended. In a stroke of genius, I remembered my phone in my back pocket and pulled it out to activate its flashlight. I was greeted with the face of Morty contorted with rage as he knocked the device out of my hands and shoved me to the ground. “Morty, what the fuck?!” I shouted. He didn’t respond, instead, a hand extended in front of me, knocking me out with gas from a small aerosol can.

*+*

“Nova, wake up Nova,” a singsong voice murmured as I awoke to find myself tied to some kind of alter. Over twenty Mortys surrounded me, all staring at me, emotionless save for one who busied himself with a small bowl near my head. The stone altar was cool to the touch, sending chills down my spine.

“Morty, what the fuck are you doing?” I tried to fight the bind on my wrist, furious to find myself in this situation yet again. “Let me up goddammit.”

“Not yet Nova. Not until The One True Morty gets here with the bastard Rick,” the one closest told me emotionlessly.

“Th-The One True Morty?” I asked hysterically. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“In due time, Au-Aunt Nova,” he told me dismissively.

“I-Is that my Morty? The one that brought us down here?” I whispered, my anger being replaced by panic.

“In a word, no,” Bowl Morty grinned deviously as he finished up with whatever he was doing.

“Why did he bring us here?”

“All will be explained when The One True Morty arrives.”

And so I was left to sit, struggling in my binds as I waited for this One True Morty to appear. It seemed to drag on for hours and after the first hour, I started giving up, my wrists bloody and raw from constantly rubbing the coarse rope. I tried to dig for more answers to where I was, why I was here but the Mortys surrounding me remained silent. Content to watch me, no emotion emerged on their faces. Finally, almost blissfully, I heard a gruff voice berating a Morty. A voice I had grown far too accustomed to.

“Goddammit Morty, what in the hell are you doing?” Rick’s shouts echoed on the damp cave walls. He emerged through a low opening, his hands bound in front of him looking angrier than I’d ever seen him. His anger softened at the sight of me but as soon as it did it contorted again into an even uglier snarl. “What the fuck are you doing you fucking idiot? Let her go, whatever issues you fucking turds have are with me, leave her the fuck out of it.”

“Quiet,” the Morty leading him said quietly as he flicked his wrist softly, and to my surprise, it was quite effective. “Mortys, don’t allow him to get anywhere near that Nova.”

“M-Morty? You’re not my Morty. Where is my Morty?” I asked urgently.

“I’m surprised to see you care so much, I’ve been living with you for almost a month and you haven’t even noticed I wasn’t your Morty,” Morty said in a controlled voice. This Morty was an anomaly. Where my Morty was generally shy and nervous, this one was confident and meticulous. It was like he’d been body-snatched.

My eyes shot to Rick, who was wearing a look of furious disbelief but as he opened his mouth to speak, no sound came out. “What do you mean? What did you do to my Morty?” I asked in his stead.

“Nothing of consequence.” He paused and chuckled before changing the subject smoothly, “You know Nova, my version of you died when I was twelve. Seeing you hurt is not something I want, it’s just a necessary evil for right now. You are safe and you will return to your home when I’m finished here.”

“Wh-What are you doing Morty?” I asked nervously. “Why did you bring us here?”

“You know how my Nova died?” Morty asked, disregarding my questions. “Unsurprisingly, being a Nova with a Ryan, she was killed by him last year. Leave him, Nova. You’ll be better for it.”

“Morty, what are you doing? Why did you bring us here?” I asked again, my own rage forming in my gut.

“Rick, why don’t you tell her what we’re doing here,” he asked smugly, flicking his wrist again to allow Rick to speak.

“You little fucking piece of shit, I’ll fucking kill you. I should’ve killed all of those fucking Morty’s when I was at that piece of shit’s fucking lair-”

Another flick of Morty’s wrist and he was silent again. “I should thank you though Rick, thanks to you I can finally go after the Citadel as I wanted.” He led Rick to a crudely made computer set up, strapping him in as he tossed a helmet on his head, flicking his wrist. “Look familiar Rick?”

“Oh jesus fucking christ, this thing again. Still depending on that Rick’s inventions to get by?” Rick spat at him viciously. Morty laughed quietly, shaking his head.

“Oh, you stupid fucking bastard,” he chuckled, forcing the helmet on Rick’s head. “Make sure Nova can see,” he ordered the other Mortys. I was finally released, rubbing my wrists gently as the Mortys led me to the screen while still keeping me a safe distance from Rick. My eyes sought his out, trying to make sense of the situation but instead, he was fixated on the screen in front of him.

A slideshow of memories played, mostly times I’d had no party to and some I had. It all kept coming back to one, my voice on repeat. “ I want you, I want you, I want you. ” It repeated over and over. Other memories would play, but that was almost like the soundtrack to them all. Rick finally broke his gaze as a memory of us facing off against a small army of gummy bears. He hesitantly let his eyes fall on me, shame forcing them away when they meet mine.

“Is that what gets you through the day?” Morty sneered at Rick. “Absolutely pathetic.”

“Why are you doing this?” my voice shook as I spoke and I continued to stare at Rick as he returned his eyes to the screen. Morty didn’t answer as a sadistic grin formed on his face. Another memory started, a late night on Beth’s couch, Rick playing with my hair as we watched an episode of Cornless. Morty’s grin faltered and he looked angry again. “What’s wrong Morty? Not finding the answers you were hoping for?”

“Ricks are incapable of love,” he growled at Rick. “What are you playing at here you old fuck?”

“We’re not incapable of love, you stupid turd,” Rick yelled back at his alternate grandson. “We just tend to think it’s a waste of fucking time.”

“So why are you wasting time on this Nova?” Morty snarled, glaring at me viciously.

“B-Because when it comes to her, i-its not a waste of time,” Rick shot back venomously. His gaze fell on me momentarily, giving me a tender look before returning to Morty. “D-Didn’t your Rick ever have a fucking Nova?”

“No,” he replied simply, his face returning to his previous emotionless composure. “He had no interest in her. He didn’t care about anyone though, it’s not exactly shocking.”

“What do you want from us, Morty?” I hissed, interrupting them. “Are you trying to get revenge because you had a shitty hand dealt to you and got a shit Rick?”

“It’s funny you ask that Nova,” he smirked, grabbing me by my arm and pulling me with surprising strength to a small chair just out of arm’s reach of Rick. “There’s something deep within him that’s going to show you his true nature. Ricks don’t care about Mortys, they don’t care about Beths and they certainly don’t care about Novas. We’re all tools for his selfish fucking gains.”

“I-Isn’t that what every one is for every fucking one else?” Rick glared. “Nova and Beth weren’t friends out of the goodness of each other's hearts. They both got something out of the friendship.”

“What does Nova get out of her ‘friendship’ with you then, Rick? How do you allow yourself to use her up until she’s wasted away like every fucking one else around you?” Morty demanded, getting so close to Rick he could surely smell the vodka on his breath.

“Wh-Why are you asking me?” Rick spat in his face. Morty took a calming breath, stepping back to wipe the saliva off of his face. “Th-That’s not up to me, that’s up to Nova.” Morty turned, looking at me expectantly.

“I-I l-like being around h-him,” I stammered, earning an eye roll from Morty. “I-I’ve always felt safe around Rick.”

“That’s all you got?” Morty scoffed, “You tolerate Rick because you like him and he makes you feel ‘safe’? That’s the biggest load of bullshit I have ever heard in my life. Ricks can’t keep anyone but themselves safe.” My eyes finally met Rick’s, a surprisingly soft look in them as he nodded gently.

“You want to know why I spend every goddamn day with him, Morty?” My rage was starting to boil within me again and I stood up, towering over the small boy. “Because I love the idiot. Because I see him for more than you’ve ever seen him or your own Rick or ANY Rick for that matter. He can be gentle and tender and caring, you just have to give him an opportunity.”

“Oh, what the fuck ever-”

“No, you emotionally stunted little shit. I don’t know what your Rick did to you, I don’t care if he strapped car batteries to your fucking nipples, this is going too fucking far. This is an innocent Rick.” I turned to the Mortys surrounded us, their emotionless facade cracking. “Why are you guys even here? Why are you guys supporting this fucking lunatic Morty?” Bowl Morty, the one that had woken me up, appeared behind me, wrestling with my arms in an attempt to bind them behind my back.

“I-I’m not a lunatic,” Leader Morty snarled at me. “What are you trying to do Aunt Nova? Do you really think you can win all these Morty’s to your side? Some of them don’t even know who the fuck you are.”

“Shut up Morty,” I glared as I broke free from Bowl Morty and pushed him away from me. I dared a glance at Rick, who was slowly but silently burning away the metal bonds with his cybernetic arms. I looked into the crowd of Mortys, most of them looking up at me in confusion as their eyes bounced between their leader and me. “You- Why are you here?” I asked pointing at one of them.

“Wh-When the Evil Rick kidnapped me, he killed my entire family, I had nowhere to go,” he told me sadly.

“So you decided to launch a campaign against every Rick in existence?” I asked harshly. He winced and shrugged up at me. I sought out another one, asking him the same.

“I-I couldn’t live on the citadel. When it was destroyed, I lost my home. M-Morty found me, a-and offered me a better life. N-Now he won’t let me go home.” I ignored the pang of guilt, knowing it had been my Rick’s fault that things had gotten so fucked up for him.

“H-How many of you are here because of the destruction of the citadel?” I asked, my voice faltering despite my best efforts. All but two of them raised their hands, the Leader and Bowl Morty. I raised an eyebrow at the latter, “Why are you here?”

“Because I fucking hate Ri-” A laser grazing his shoulder interrupted him as he fell to the ground, writhing in agony. Rick had finally sawed through his bonds, grabbing the Leader Morty and wrestling him into a chair. He pulled out two small discs that expanded and wrapped around the arms of the chair and Morty’s wrists, effectively binding him to the chair.

“If the rest of you little shits want to leave here alive, you better sit down and shut up. I don’t want any fucking funny business,” Rick shot darkly at the meek boys surrounding us. A few fled down the tunnels while the rest huddled together in terror. I moved closer to offer them some form of comfort as Rick returned to their leader. “Where the fuck is our Morty?” he hissed at him.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Oh, if you wanna be difficult, I have a lot of pent up rage and aggression after having my innermost feelings and thoughts put up for everyone to see,” Rick glowered. When Morty didn’t relent, Rick took a shot at his legs, missing by only a hair and instead just singeing his pants. Morty paled despite his best attempts to remain calm.

“Morty, just tell us what you did with Morty N-682,” I glared at him from the sea of Mortys now clinging to my side.

“He’s fine,” Morty shrugged as he struggled against Rick’s metallic bonds. I gently released my thigh from a weeping Morty and walked over to Morty. I put both of my hands over his, getting right next to his face.

“Tell me where the fuck my godson is,” I murmured sweetly into his ear. He squirmed beneath me, trying to resist the teenage hormones I was playing on to get him to talk.

“H-He’s on the citadel okay!” he squeaked and I pushed away from him.

“Where on the Citadel is he?” Rick snarled.

“I-I can show you.” I dug through his pockets, dismayed when the portal gun was nowhere to be found.

“H-He has one in his room.” The weeping Morty spoke up quickly before disappearing down a small rock corridor. He returned quickly, presenting us with a crudely made portal gun. The usual green swirl on the top was discolored and was more yellow than green.

“The fuck did you do to my portal gun?” Rick snarled at Leader Morty. He investigated further, quiet realization dawning on his face. “Th-This isn’t my portal gun, where is it?”

“Shattered somewhere on this planet I guess,” he grinned up at Rick, “I made this one myself.”

“You little fucking shit,” Rick growled, punching in coordinates into the citadel and opening a yellow portal in front of us. “Can’t have Nova going through a fucked-up portal. Why don’t you do us the honors.” He told Leader Morty, pushing him toward the opening.

“If it kills him, we won’t be able to find our Morty.” I murmured to Rick, much to his frustration. He grabbed Bowl Morty instead, forcefully shoving him through the abnormal portal. He seemed satisfied with the results, pushing the rest of the Mortys through before we made our way through behind them. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I reached the other side. The citadel had been mostly rebuilt and looked even better than it had before. Small statues had been erected in honor of the original council but a flyer beneath them told me they had decided to go a more democratic route in deciding who would lead the citadel for the foreseeable future.

“Now where is my Morty, you piece of garbage?” Rick demanded, pointing his laser pistol at him as he watched the captive Morty’s flee from around us, scattering to the wind. I rested my hand on his arm soothingly as he groaned in frustration.

“Let’s just get this over with.”

“Y-Your Morty is in Mortytown,” Leader Morty finally revealed, leading us down a dark alley into an admittedly rough part of town. Mortys eyed us distrustfully as we passed, but they all seemed to restrain when they saw me joining them. We arrived at a derelict building, not completely unlike the one Scar Rick had been living in. I led the two up the steps cautiously, much to Rick’s ire.

“It’s not fucking safe.”

“Would you prefer my untrained ass being the one ensuring this Morty doesn’t get away?” I shot back.

“You know how to use a gun right? You just pull the trigger if he starts to run,” he explained sarcastically, handing me the pistol and taking the lead. He engaged his arm gun with a couple of button presses on his arm. His pointer finger shifted into the gun barrel he had been working on, “I guess we get to find out how well it works,” he shrugged at me, edging into the building carefully as he watched our blindspots.

“Go to the top floor,” Morty told him wearily. We climbed the creaking stairs, careful to avoid falling through them as they groaned under our weight. I covered my nose and mouth at the disgusting smell that seemed to be getting stronger the higher up we went. Morty watched as I lowered my weapon and braced myself on the railing, trying to put as little weight on the distressed wood as possible. “Au-Aunt Nova, do you really think the railings in this shit heap are going to be any better than the stairs?” he chastised me. I blushed but returned my weapon to his back, following close behind until we finally reached the top floor.

“Nova, st-stay out here with this little shit,” Rick ordered softly, checking his weapon before checking the doorknob. It was surprisingly unlocked, and we were greeted with the battle roar of at least five Mortys as they sprang from within. Rick aimed at them and took them out quickly, much to my horror. Amidst the chaos, the Leader Morty slipped away from my control, whipping down the stairs quickly Before I could even attempt to get a shot off at him, he disappeared through the front door and was gone.

“I’m so sorry Rick,” I cried as he pulled me into a tight embrace. Pressed against his lapel, I was spared from the stench emanating from the room in front of us. I allowed his smell to encapsulate me, even giving me a heady feeling as he pecked small kisses on the top of my head.

“N-Nova, it's okay. You’re okay. I’ll get that little shit next time, it’ll be fine, I promise,” he consoled me, continuing to pepper kisses on my face before pulling my chin up to kiss me properly.

“R-Rick, wait.” I pulled away, covering my nose and pointing to the door in front of us. “Let’s get Morty home.” He nodded sharply, venturing further into the room. I knelt to check the Mortys that had emerged, relieved to find them still breathing from beneath me. It had been a controlled shock that Rick used to sedate them.

I breathed a sigh of relief and followed him into the dim room, gingerly feeling around on the wall in search of a light switch. The putrid stench was overwhelming, and I brought my shirt up to my nose in disgust to try to save the few nose hairs I had left. Rick flicked his flashlight on illuminating the disgusting room around us. Molded cans of vegetables littered the floor around us along with actual feces kept in buckets around the room. I couldn’t contain my disgust any more, returning to the landing to vomit spectacularly.

“Y-You okay, Nova?” Rick called from the small room, his voice getting further away.

“I-I’m just gonna stay out here with the Mortys okay?” I told him, my voice wavering under the threat of throwing up more stomach acid.

“Make sure one of them isn’t him, okay?”

At his word, I started investigating the fourteen-year-old boys splayed out in front of me. I wasn’t sure exactly how he expected me to be able to tell the difference between them, they all looked exactly the same. I thought for a moment, trying to remember some difference that would truly differentiate my Morty but I was coming up blank. Rick emerged from the disgusting apartment empty-handed, concern apparent on his face as he looked over the five Mortys on the ground.

“We’ll have to wait until they wake up,” he groaned. I was not looking forward to spending even another minute in this hellhole but thankfully as I groaned, one of the Mortys joined me in unison. He looked over at me, dazed and rubbing his head before a look of terror crossed his face. Rick grabbed him quickly, bringing his face mere inches from his own, “What dimension are you from?” he hissed at the boy.

“F-329,” Morty told him, his voice shaking. Rick released him quickly, urging him to get lost as we waited for another Morty to come to. Just as the front door slammed behind the first another Morty started waking up. I stepped in between Rick and the poor boy, opting to do the interrogating on my own.

“Hey Morty,” I started softly, “what dimension are you from kiddo?”

“R-495.” Another Morty sent packing. Two started stirring at the same time, and I glared at Rick as we approached them.

“T-580.”

“H-692.”

We eyed the last one, gingerly sitting up to look at the two of us nervously. “Where are you from?”

“N-682.”

Thank fucking god.

*+*

We used Leader Morty’s portal gun to portal home, Rick still apprehensive to use what he called “flawed technology” but it turned out he’d rather use it than ask for help from the Citadel. We arrived home safe and sound, Morty still absolutely traumatized by whatever he’d been through over the past month. Rick said nothing, instead, he led the stunned boy into the laboratory he’d built under the house. When I moved to follow them, he held up his hand and told me to stay in the garage to wait for him. I flopped into my chair, opening my laptop to scroll through my social media feeds as I waited.

“(Y/N)?”

The voice at the garage door startled me, almost knocking me completely out of my chair. “W-What do you want?” I sputtered, desperately trying to steady my breathing.

“I was hoping you’d be ready to talk about things and maybe come home?” he asked sheepishly. He started to walk into the garage but a small ceiling-mounted laser shot at his feet, stopping him in his tracks.

“No Ryan, I’m not ready to come home,” I told him flatly, disregarding his stunned face and returning to my laptop. “Madi won’t be home until the middle of August. We’ll talk then.”

“(Y/N)-”

“You heard the lady,” Rick shot at him, emerging from the basement with a chipper looking Morty at his side. “She doesn’t want to see you right now.” Ryan tried to argue, only to receive a dangerous glare from Rick before slumping his shoulders and finally walking away defeated.

“I’m going to have to deal with that soon,” I sighed, leaning back into my chair and watching Morty. “H-Hey kiddo, how ya doin?”

“I’m great Aunt Nova. I can’t believe you’re living with us now! I’m really glad you got away from Mr. Dawes,” he told me, hugging me tightly before waving goodbye and disappearing into the rest of the house.

“Wh-What did you do to him?” I asked, my eyes bugging out slightly at the sheer night and day effect Rick had produced.

“I-I just erased the last month from his memory.” Rick shrugged, pulling my arm gently to get me to stand.

“You what?” I asked nervously. He ignored my question, opting to bury his face in my hair as he embraced me instead. “You okay?” I asked hesitantly, wrapping my arms around him.

“I was so scared, Nova,” he murmured, his voice muffled by my hair. “I didn’t mean to leave you behind, I’m so sorry. I thought you were right behind me and when I turned around and you weren’t there, jesus Nova I thought you were dead,” he rambled.

“W-We’re okay,” I soothed him as his body trembled against me. I was unsure of how to help, how to soothe a man who I never thought would need it, so I just kept talking, “I’m here, I’m safe with you.”

“I just got so worked up about Morty and when you said you felt safe with me-” His voice hitched a moment and he cleared his throat before continuing, “Nova, that meant more to me than you know.” I moved to kiss him again but Beth interrupted with a quick knock on the door. We broke apart just as she pushed the door open, me returning to my chair and Rick standing over his desk, trying to look interested in whatever gadget he picked up first.

“Dad, I don’t know what you did on your adventure today, but I have to thank you for attitude change in Morty.” She walked in and immediately a suspicious look crossed her face. “I’m glad you two have gotten so close.”

“She’s just handy to have around.” Rick waved his hand dismissively at me as he wrapped his arm around his daughter’s shoulders. “Don’t w-worry sweetie, you’ll always be my baby girl.”

Beth beamed under her father’s embrace and when he released her, her smile lingered. “Dinner will be done soon you two if you’re hungry.” She gave a parting wave before disappearing back into the house.

“In the other dimensions, how does Beth usually take it when they find out their father is into their best friend?” I asked nervously, staring at the door she disappeared through.

“W-Well, m-most Ricks, they, uh, try not let her find out,” Rick told me, rubbing the back of his neck.

+Ch9: Electric Feel+ 

[heroesmusings]

FULL NAME: Clinton Francis Barton 

MEANING: Settlement on a hill

NICKNAME: Clint

MEANING: It’s just a shorter version of his name 

AGE APPEARANCE: Appears 30, actually 33

BIRTHDAY: September 7th, 1987

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Virgo

SPECIES: Human

GENDER: Cis male

ALLERGIES: None

SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Bisexual

THEME SONG(S): Wine Red by The Hush Sound, Raising Hell by Kesha, Church by Fall Out Boy, Angel in Blue Jeans by Train

APPEARANCE

HAIR COLOR:  Dirty Blonde to Brown

HAIR STYLE AND LENGTH: Short 

EYES COLOR: Blue

EYESIGHT: 20/20, he’s a BIRD BOY

HEIGHT: 6″3′

WEIGHT: 200 lbs

OUTFIT/CLOTHING STYLE: For missions he wears his uniform but on days off its just jeans and a shirt

ABNORMALITIES: Deaf 

DISTINGUISHING MARKS(SCARS,MOLES): He’s got scars on both ears from the hole to neck, 6 gunshot wounds, knife scars

SELF CARE(MAKE UP): Clint washes his face once in a blue moon and at times has a beard

FIRST IMPRESSION ON PEOPLE: He’s pretty friendly, a bit on the joking and sarcastic side 

SKIN COLOR: White

BODY TYPE/BUILD: Broad shouldered, a big muscular build 

DEFAULT EXPRESSION: Always a bit of a cocky smirk on his face

POSTURE: He stands with a little bit of more weight on his left side

PIERCINGS: One hole in his left ear

DESCRIBE THEIR VOICE: Clint’s voice is a little on the higher end for a man of his stature, it’s a big rugged and can sometimes be a bit slow with a twang 

RELATIONS:

MOM: Edith Barton

HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Clint was a momma’s boy, very close to his mother the two had a close bond

DAD: Harold Barton

HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: His father was abusive they did not get along at all, Clint was always the problem child

SIBLINGS: Barney Barton

HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Before the circus, Barney and Clint were two peas in a pod, they stuck together through it all but after the circus Clint cannot stand his brother

CHILDREN: N/A

HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: N/A

OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS: N/A

PAST LOVER(S): Bobbi Morse (ex-wife), Laura (ex-girlfriend), Zelda DuBois [Princess Python] (ex-fling)

CURRENT LOVER: Natasha Romanoff 

REACTION TO MEETING SOMEONE NEW: Clint likes to find out what makes them tick, so he’s friendly, wants to get on their good side so he’ll know how to take them down if he has to 

ABILITY TO WORK WITH OTHERS: he’s…. Alright? He’ll work with people but complain about it in the process

HOW SOCIABLE(LONER,ETC): Clint likes his alone time but he’s pretty sociable 

FRIENDS: Natasha Romanoff, Steve Rogers, Wanda Maximoff, the rest of the avengers team

PETS: Lucky the yellow lab

LEAST FAVORITE TYPE OF PERSON: Anyone who mistakes her shyness for powerlessness 

PARENTAL TYPE(PROTECTIVE,ETC): Easy going and easily manipulated  

FAVORITE PEOPLE: Nat, Steve, Wanda

LEAST FAVORITE PEOPLE: Barney, anyone in the Circus of Crimes 

PERSONALITY:

..WHEN YOU FIRST MEET THEM: ? Talkative, Jokester, Obnoxious 

..AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY LIKE YOU): Joyful, Teasing, Easy going

..AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY DISLIKE YOU): Cold, Antagonistic, Rude 

FAVORITE COLOR: Purple 

FAVORITE FOOD: anything gross and greasy 

FAVORITE ANIMAL: shockingly not a hawk, he loves dogs

FAVORITE INSTRUMENT: Acoustic guitar 

FAVORITE ELEMENT: Air

LEAST FAVORITE COLOR: White

LEAST FAVORITE FOOD: Kale

LEAST FAVORITE ANIMAL: piranhas

LEAST FAVORITE INSTRUMENT: Trumpet

LEAST FAVORITE ELEMENT: Earth

HOBBIES: watching daytime television, sleeping, knitting, salsa dancing 

USUAL MOOD: Pretty jovial most of the time 

DRINK/SMOKE/DRUGS: Drinks socially 

DARK VERSION OF SELF: Ruthless, unforgiving, blinded by anger

LIGHT VERSION OF SELF: Carefree, the past doesn’t chase him anymore

HOW SERIOUS ARE THEY: Not very serious at all, unless it's a dire situation 

BELIEVE IN GHOSTS: No he doesn’t

(IN)DEPENDANT: Pretty independent unless its nat 

SOFT SPOT/VULNERABILITY: Messing with Nat, Talking about his father/home life

OPINION ON SWEARING: He’s got a filthy mouth

DAREDEVIL VS CAUTIOUS: DAREDEVIL 

MUSIC TYPE: Soft rock and anything acoustic 

MOVIE TYPE: Any sort of cheesy movie it doesn’t matter the genre 

BOOK TYPE: Clint doesn’t read all that much but maybe fantasy 

GAME TYPE: God ANY GAME, he’s a pro at them all

COMFORTABLE TEMPERATURE: Clint thrives in any temperature 

SLEEPING PATTERN: Clint sleeps where the fuck ever he can, anytime he can squeeze in a nap? He’s doing it

CLEANLINESS/NEATNESS: Clint gives no DAMNS about that stuff..

DESIRED PET: More puppies thanks 

HOW DO THEY PASS TIME: Sleeping or annoying Nat and Steve

BIGGEST SECRET: After SHIELD fell Clint doesn’t really have any secrets but he hasn’t told anyone his brother was there when the Swordsmen deafened him 

HERO/WHO THEY LOOK UP TO: Steve Rogers

WHAT ANIMAL WOULD THEY BE: a clingy puppy

FEARS: Something happening to Nat 

COMFORTS: Anytime Natasha is around, greasy food, training 

HOW DO THEY ACT WHEN THEY ARE:

SAD: Clint doesn’t like getting sad, so he often gets angry and frustrated when he’s sad. It’s from years of abuse because his father would mock him when he got sad so he doesn’t like getting sad… and at times he just disappears  

HAPPY: Clint is usually pretty happy, so that comes with smiles and jokes mostly. If he teases and jokes with you then he’s in a good mood

ANGRY: Angry clint is usually even more reckless, he doesn’t think he just attacks, he will take no prisoners at all 

AFRAID: Unless it’s Barney, Clint usually likes to face his fears head on -- tackle them right when he can so he can go into things unafraid.

LOVE SOMEONE: SOFT, clint is soft and doting, he loves to spoil and care for in any way he can. He’s protective and can be clingy 

HATE SOMEONE: Clint makes it clear, he doesn’t joke he doesn’t tease or anything. He’s barely even likes to talk to them much less

WANT SOMETHING: Clint goes for it, there has been so much in his life that he’s never been allowed to have -- so now he’s letting himself have what he wants 

CONFUSED: Clint is always confused okay 

HOW DO THEY REACT TO:

DANGER: Clint runs HEAD FIRST INTO DANGER BECAUSE HE’S AN IDIOT 

SOMEONE THEY HATE WHO HAS A CRUSH ON THEM: Clint would think its a joke honestly and when it isn’t a joke he’d avoid them 

PROPOSAL TO MARRY: Clint would be upset that Nat beat him to it because he’s been working on awhile to propose BUT he’d of course say yes and think of the memory fondly 

DEATH OF LOVED ONE: Clint would lose it, he wouldn’t be able to function any longer. He’d become cold and a hermit  

DIFFICULT GAME/MATH/ETC: He’d let Tony deal with it. 

INJURY: Clint would fucking laugh it off and act fine. But if it was Nat then he’d be obsessive until she gets help 

SOMETHING IRRESISTABLY CUTE: He’d take a photo and send it to Nat 

LOSS OF HOURS OF WORK: s l e e p

KNOWLEDGE:

LANGUAGES: English, ASL a bit of Russian

SCHOOLING LEVEL: Middle School

FAVORITE SUBJECT (S): Clint would rather dIE than tell anyone but he liked math 

INTERESTED CAREERS: N/A.

EXPERTISE: master archer/marksmen, expert tactician, acrobat and hand-to-hand combatant

PUZZLES: clint is SO GOOD AT PUZZLES, he can figure them out quick  

CHEMISTRY: clint likes both human and science. He likes the science part to design more arrows and the human part because he’s very in tune with people and their emotions 

MATH: Clint is WILDLY good at math, he has to be because he doesn’t miss a single shot. Everytime he shoots an arrow he has to include every variable possible 

ENGLISH: clint wasn’t all that interested in it 

GEOGRAPHY: he’s pretty good at it. 

POLITICS/LAW: Clint really isn’t all that into or interested in politics 

ECONOMY/ACCOUNTING: Again not into any of that 

COOKING: Clint can cook cereal and that’s about it 

SEWING: He’s good at basic medical and clothing sewing   

MECHANICS: Yes! He’s pretty good with cars and motorcycles  

BOTANY (FLOWERS): Not at all 

MYTHOLOGY: Looked into it when Thor showed up because Fury asked him too 

DRAMATICS(ACTING,SINGING): He used to be a spy so he’s a good actor  

READING LEVEL: Proficient 

HOW GOOD ARE THEY AT PLANNING AHEAD: ……...sorry Clint doesn’t know what that means 

ROMANCE:

DO THEY TAKE INITIATIVE: Yes all the time, anytime he can get his hands on Nat he will 

HOW DO THEY ACT(SHY,ETC): He thinks he’s smooth but boy’s an idiot and Nat makes his heart race 

GENTLEMAN/LADYLIKE VS KLUTZY: Oh Clint has plenty of gentelmany skills

GO SLOW VS JUMP INTO: WIth Nat? He wants to take things slow, he doesn’t wanna mess this up 

PROTECTIVE: HELL YEAH 

ACT LIKE FRIENDS OR LOVERS: Both 

WHAT KIND OF PRESENTS DO THEY BUY:ANYTHING THAT HE THINKS NAT WILL LIKE, he likes getting her pretty things to wear 

TYPE OF KISSER: Clint likes it soft and sweet or rough and biting there is not in between 

DO THEY WANT KIDS: not until recently  

DO THEY WANT TO MARRY: YES YES 

MAKE GOOD OR BAD DECISIONS: He’s a fucking fool so both, but he tries REALLY hard to make good choices 

ARE THEY ROMANTIC: yes he’s A SAP

HOW ARE THEY IN BED: Clint really lives to please Nat so he’s fucking great thanks

GET JEALOUS EASY: Nope, he knows that he and Nat are in it for good

WIFE/HUBBY BEATER: NEVER

MARRY FOR MONEY: LMAO NO 

FAVORITE POSITION: Clint loves being choked by her thighs or under her.. He really isn’t it picky as long as he’s with Nat

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN ON THEIR DREAM DATE: just a day in with Nat and they eat nasty foods together 

OPINION ON SEX: Sex didn’t always mean much to Clint, he used to sleep around often but with Nat it means a lot because there’s an actual connection there with her and he aims to make her feel good and have it be enjoyable

[gaygwenpool]

give me literally All Headcanon for that post for Mysterio p l e a s e (also, for the one of my choosing, whether or not you hc he commentates movies while watching them or insists on ABSOLUTE SILENCE)

:D!!! my sweet boy, BLESS you nonnie! 

◉ whether or not you hc he commentates movies while watching them or insists on ABSOLUTE SILENCE IS A FANTASTIC QUESTION IVE BEEN LITERALLY LAUGHIN ABOUT IT ALL DAY THANK YOU

   Both actually! if you try to comment on the plot or react to an actor, immediately you get rudely shushed with the most scorching glare because how DARE you, focus on the ~ART~ you heathen!!! but also the Moment a slightly more advanced special effect takes place, he is all hoppin on his seat excitedly explaining how it’s done and how genius that is, how would he improve on it and how another movie dealt with it, the dialogue for the big plot reveal goin on the screen be damned :’D Also as the movie advances, he starts gettin more and more into long passionate rants either complaining about the lack/surfeit of respect the creators got, how arrogant this one actor is and how he doesnt respect his cues and so on….. lots of the stuff he says is actually pretty interesting but yeah, if you counted on just enjoying the movie, tough luck 

   He really likes watchin movies with people but prefers to see the movie first on his own at least once, to really focus on it. Often, he will watch a movie in the livin room while others do their own thing and he will comment on the good scenes, however if you agreed to actually watch somethin with him and got distracted during screening or worse, was on your phone?? you are dead to him. (and you can expect some …unpleasant surprises in the upcoming days)   

im gonna put the rest under the readmore cuz this is gettin long ^^;;

[ask meme]

☾ - sleep headcanon

Beck is the UGLIEST sleeper, he is the worst. He snores loudly, drools, moves, KICKS, mumbles and has the most vivid wildest dreams. (it happens rarely but sometimes he’ll dream about somethin, wake up and for a while be convinced it actually happened, you know like when you dream about arguing with your friend and being mad at them the next day etc) On the other hand, sometimes, all his features relax, he loses the scowl and looks surprisingly peaceful and happy… oh and he hogs the blanket.  

His sleep schedule is a fuckin mess, he is able to go like the whole week on few hours of sleep total when he is workin on a project but other days he gets grumpy if he doesnt get his 10h of beauty sleep every night.. 

★ - sad headcanon

uhhh i dont actually have much sad stuff for this boy yet, he brings me so much joy that i dont have the heart for that :’’’D (also i like him and chameleon team ups and Dmitri brings enough angst to the table for the both of them)

He really actually died that one time and went to hell (though in Patchwork, im not gonna keep everythin about that Daredevil plot, i really like Mysti being dangerous and actually a worthy opponent but most of it was too fucked up for my tastes…) and well… it wasnt great :’D  it mostly targeted his insecurities about his own talent he buried so deep he almost stopped believing them, the lack of respect and recognition and him willingly throwing away any chance he had at those by becoming Mysterio and of course everything that happened with his ex Brick Johnson…

☆ - happy headcanon

blease consider: autistic Quentin !!!!!!

☠ - angry/violent headcanon

he doesnt have a hair trigger temper like Ock or Electro but Damn does this boy holds grudges over literally everything :’D lots of overcomplicated, carefully crafted revenge plots just for eating the last yogurt in the fridge… He gets frustrated easily, getting snappy and rude, especially if people are not listening to him, but it’s often about the pettiest things, the bigger stuff doesnt affect him as much.  

He doesnt enjoy violence for the sake of violence but he is not above it either, everythin is allowed for his big performance…… he can be quite a good n friendly boss if you listen to his orders and work well but can just as much set you up to die in an explosion, all while smiling and patting you on the back… 

✿ - Sex headcanon

my Mysterio is gay as hell but also somewhere on the ace spectrum… not sex-repulsed but definitely not a high drive either (he feels oddly smug about that, like look at those fools trying to get into each others’ pants, how pathetic, *I* in the meantime have time for things that Truly matter, like recreating every Xmen battle ever with only straws and gum.) 

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

listen, i basically grew up on those “the entire villain team lives in a single place - shenanigans ensue” fics so im not givin up on the Sinister Six HQ, okay. (Chameleon usually finds them a suitable house with enough rooms, as luxurious as their current fonds allow, and he prides himself in putting in lil personal touches that he knows the sin six members would enjoy, for Quentin it’s often very obscure movies, rare memorabilia from his favorite ones, stuff for his illusions, a stolen Oscar…) 

 When these are unavailable (aka superheroes got them busted) or when he aint in the middle of a crime job, he usually stays at one of the Cham’s safehouses (with or without him) and in a few of them, he already has his own dedicated room with some of his fav old tricks on display. Speakin of which, he has a BIG warehouse with most of his setups and stages or at least models. He doesnt really plan on reusing them but he likes having them all together 

♡ - romantic headcanon

((jakjgkfajga im a loser and ended up shippin him with Chameleon and everythin i’ve thought off so far is EMBARRASSING AND CHEESY AS FUCK :’’’’D so im gonna leave those for another time))

Beck being an Extra Bitch he is, lives for the Big Romantic Gestures like in the movies and he often gets so caught up in the prep he.. kinda disregards the person he was makin it for, the making of the effect means more for him than  the actual sentiment behind it… 

(ok maybe One mysteleon hc, while it pains him, Quentin knows Chammy Would Not Enjoy being a target of such grand display… he gotta be more subtle, creating a scene where he could play in disguise and dupe some superheroes mayhaps…) 

♥ - family headcanon

like 99% of the villains and their grandma, his family wasnt great, mum left when he was very young with another guy, his dad considered his passion for movies a great waste of time and let lil Quentin know how disappointed he was at every occasion both vocally and physically.. After the first few broken models and ripped tapes with stop animations that took weeks to complete, Quentin stopped tryin to impress and convince his father about the greatness of special effects.. He joined a boxing club and learnt some other martial arts but as soon as he could, he left to join a proper film school which led to his father dropping both financing and all contact with him. 

☮ - friendship headcanon

Im not even gonna start about Chameleon’s and Mysterio’s friendship because that shit is canon and i cry about it on a daily basis. 

Despite his penchant for Dramatics, the constant Need for Validation and Backstabbing and other Throwing Shit in the Fan just cuz it was narratively better, Quentin actually has quite a few friends? He gets along quite well with everyone from the Sin Six and many other villains and even has some ‘normie’ pals from the film industry or just neighborhood… 

One of his most surprising is actually Doc Ock with whom he gets along even outside of business partners/partners in crime basis. Though maybe not so surprising, Mysterio is quite vocal with his praises when he feels like they are deserved and Doc as well actually admires and recognizes Beck’s talent while it is still enough specific for him not to feel threatened in his superiority (once he tried to improve them and show them to Quentin with his usual arrogance and flair and that was the biggest fight they ever had and they werent on speaking terms for a loooong while after that… Oct cant stand not having the last word so he still modified some of Mysterio’s tricks even after that but he actually cares about their friendship enough to not tell Mysti about it.. Not like he would ever admit that to Quentin’s fishbowl face) 

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon

like 99% of everythin Mysti does is Somehow related to special effects/film or the Drama in general but my boy is a nerd in general, theater, books, comics, manga, roleplaying games, you name it. He especially likes flashy stuff obviously. 

He really enjoys learning new techniques and figuring out how to make something happen. When he was younger, he was viciously against CGI but later he started to sorta respect it as its own category that needs talent and effort… he still prefers to use the traditional techniques of course :’D (…as traditional as HYPNOTIZING PEOPLE WITH NEURAL GAZ IS) 

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon

He has a very Complicated relationship with the film industry……. on the one hand, he loves the behind the scenes, the rush, the Action…. but on the other hand, he hates it with a fiery passion, everythin from how you get treated like dirt and the pretentious prizes being awarded just for the Big names and hollywood and everythin turning around the money an-…., he has a very long list and it is alphabetized. (While he has a point for many of those complaints, the fact HE himself never got any pretentious award remains probably the main issue…) 

he absolutely despises people making fun of D-grade shitty movies in the “this shitty horror is so cheesy and dumb it’s funny and i love it” way, either because the people workin on it were good and trying their best but the money or the producers etc ruined it (his experience) and then it’s an unfair critique or because the creators just didnt try hard enough and that’s even worse in his books and this movie should not get Any Attention much less a positive one.. 

he likes complaining and being snarky :’D he enjoys the challenge Spidey sets for them and loves playing tag with him (even when he loses..) He loves the prep before his big shows both alone or with help, the adrenalin when actually pulling it off and when he discusses it with Cham in details. He lives for the applause and recognition and ~Fame~ 

▼ - childhood headcanon

not as much as hc as adopting the Webspinners’ aproach: he spent most of his childhood daydreaming, hiding himself behind the stories and special effects….. not many friends aside from Betsy but he didnt really need them, he wanted audience not pals.. In the film school he started to be more social and communicative, he met Brick there and they started goin out… 

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon

hhhhh im conflicted, there are like 3 comics where Q is retired because he has enough of superheroes beating him up and he Really doesnt want to go back to it.. I cant see him actually givin up on it totally tho… idk idk

♒ - cooking/food headcanon

Like with sleep, it oscillates wildly. He can forget to eat when he is hypefocusin on a particular project (one single chip suffices as nourishment) or he just subsides on ramen for a month but on the other hand he is quite a capable cook. Nothing Extraordinary but he can make enough diverse simple meals. When livin with Chammy, they both enjoy eating out so they do that as much as the budget allows (so not that much, illusions arent cheap…) 

☼ - appearance headcanon

im still thinkin about that one post that described Quentin as a “toenail of a man” and i couldnt agree more :’D very short, pig nose, hairstyle à la Spock, stocky built and weirdly beefy, like this guy’s thigh is bigger than some heads… (for a nerd he is surprisingly strong what the fuck) 

All Mysterios are Good Mysterios but my preferred ones have a bigass ROUND fishbowl, the longest cape and somethin as a belt, preferably sash.. 

ൠ - random headcanon

he actually isnt….. that great of an actor nor director nor creator………………….. (im sorry baby i love you but it’s tru….) he unconsciously copies a lot of stuff he has seen elsewhere, he follows overused tropes, his work is packed with cliches and cheesy over the top pathos… his special effects mastery n creativity with workin out his illusions is absolutely INCREDIBLE dont get me wrong, it’s just… the plot/ideas……..  at first he lived in denial about this still believing 100% his work is Wonderful and Perfect and he is just a misunderstood author… later he decided to embrace it and he is livin the life now :D

[ashcomanderchief]

Nerd | [Part Five.]

Summary: Where Luke is pretentious and Y/N is a nerd.

Warning: PG-13

word count: 2594

{Part One.} {Part Two.} {Part Three.} {Part Four.}

-

It had been a lonely week, surprisingly Luke hadn't been to school.. all week, sure most people skipped, but as much as a 'bad boy' Luke was, he never skipped, and the more I pestered his friends where he was, the quieter they got.

"Just tell me!" I whined stopped Calum in the hallway, blocking his path, His jaw was tight and he avoided eye contact, I could see he was about to tell me something, I knew I could get the details out of him.

"It's not my story to tell Y/N." He shook his head, trying to get past me, I was close to tears, I just wanted to know what happened, why wasn't Luke showing up? where had he gone?

"Cal.." My voice cracked putting my hand on his arm just as the second bell rang.

"No." He said more to himself, "When Luke comes back, he can tell you."

"When will he come back?! Why am I so in dark about this? He needs to get his grades up for football, Where is he even?" Now a tear had escaped my eye but I quickly wiped it away, hoping Calum didn't see it.

"I'm sorry Y/N." His face softened, walking around me.

I sighed, looking at the ground, I was so frustrated, seeing him not in his seat the first day made me a little disappointed and I didn't really know why, but I blew it off, then the second day... and then the third day, where all of his friends had sorrow looks of concern all lunch as I questioned them, but not one direct answer.

And I hated to admit it, but I was Used to his annoying attitude, and pointless arguments, the way he spun his pen in his hand in boredom, just the little things he did, it felt lonely without him in the seat next to mine, to have my personal space invaded more than once a day.

Plus, I had no one to protect me, and the people had been taking advantage of that, to getting shoved in a dumpster, to getting tripped, and Etc.

"Where's your boyfriend Y/L/N?" The girl giggled, her friends laughing along, I kept my head down, staring at the empty seat int he corner of my eye.

Don't listen to them.

I whispered to myself, but I knew as much as these girls, where was Luke?

"Did he get tired of you not putting out?"

Tightening my grip on my pencil, He wasn't even my boyfriend.

"Or did mister bad boy realize he didn't need to protect you anymore? that you were dragging him down the social latter, he probably killed himself-"

"He's fine!" I yelled turning around in anger facing the girls, but I was more or less telling myself, that, what if Luke really had. . . . No, he wouldn't.

After that day I refused to think any further about that topic, and I was going to get some answers.

-

I had a nervous sweat on the top of my forehead, and my rib cage felt restricted, that was a bad idea, I was going to get caught, and never make it to my dream college, okay clearly I was over thinking this but still.

I had just broken into the principal's office, to get Luke's files I honestly I was surprised with myself to be able to lock pick his door after two minutes of nervous sweating and contemplating turning around and running away.

Luke's file mostly consisted of fights, and unnecessary violence from what it sounded like, and of course: his address.

I was reaching a whole new level of stalking.

Turns out he only lived a ten-minute walk away from my house, ugh why hadn't I just asked Calum where he lived? it would have saved me a whole lot of anxiety.

-

The doorbell rang from inside, and I heard a rough voice call "Coming!" as I was met with a shorter version of Luke. . and much older, this must be his Dad.

"Uh hi-"

"Sorry I'm not buying anything, nor do I want to join your church."  as he started to shut the door on me.

"No! uh is Luke here?" I winced when what seemed to be Luke's father slammed the door on foot, as I felt like crying out in my pain, my foot burning.

"Oh, well Luke is grounded from seeing any of his little girlfriends, sorry." Yet again, Luke's father started to close the door.

"No, I'd never be his girlfriend!" I spoke my mind and then blanched in embarrassment processing my own words, "I mean your son is attractive and all but not AT ALL my type, honestly he's the nicest. . . Nevermind! anyway, I have his homework and stuff, and I was really wanting to talk to him about a project in English." I didn't even have English with Luke, but I was desperate at this point to talk to the rude blonde.

"Come on in." His dad sighed, opening the door fully, and from my viewpoint, I could see a kitchen, and a staircase, the house being very quiet besides's what looked like football was on the T.V

"He's in his bedroom, through that doorway, are some stairs to his room in the basement." Luke's father pointed to a stained white door next to another doorway to what looked like a half-bath, they had a big house for it to be so empty.

"Thank you mister Hemmings." I smiled thankfully, hauling my heavy backpack with all of Luke's homework, and his mighty big folder that should belong in the principles office right now.

Opening the door I was immediately greeted with a non-carpeted staircase, of stained normal wood boards, and it made me questions Luke's choice of a bedroom, I walked down the stairs, it was pretty dim and smelled like Luke, and I couldn't help the butterflies that filled my tummy, because of not smelling Luke's scent for a week now.

"Lu-" I paused seeing a king sized bed with a unmoving figure laying half naked, his physique laying lazily, as his chest gently rose and fell, but what caught my attention were the scars on his chest and stomach, and his face.

I dropped my backpack, making my way over to his bed, the more I got closer, the more bruises and scratches I was able to see, my mouth hanging open in shock, and I now realized why he was staying home.

I sat down on the corner of his bed hesitantly, "Luke." I shook his shoulder gently, I felt bad for waking him up, but I've been waiting a week for a straight forward answer.

"Y/N? What the fuck are you doing here?" His voice husky with sleep, his eyes squinted from sleep and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion a shy bit of anger.

"Yeah. . . I-I-I got your homework . .  . yeah." my eyes trailed away from his left eye which looks like it used to almost look swollen shut, but looked pretty healed now.

"You know I was coming back to school tomorrow anyway . . ." as He sat up he rolled his eyes,  wincing slightly but quickly changed his composure hoping I didn't notice.

"What Happened?" I asked, he was just wearing boxers, maybe if he wasn't injured I would be ogling over him, but I was concerned about what happened more.

"It's a long-"

"A long story? yeah, I've been told that the last week from your friends." I spoke monotony, he looked away from me, bringing his hand up to rub his eyes, "I only play 21 questions Y/N, with someone I'm sleeping with."

"So Look I'm not in the mood-" He started out saying standing up.

"That's going to get infected if you don't change the bandages." I interrupted my finger barely grazing the side of his hip that had a white cloth bandaged that was taped to his side, clearly didn't use a first aid kit very often, but what normal person used a first aid kit averagely?

I had already started to reach for my backpack, Luke trying to explain why 'He didn't want my help' but I wasn't about to listen to him when he clearly needed help.

"Y/N stop! I'm fine, seriously! I don't want your help." Luke grabbed my wrist stopping me from peeling back his old bandage, which he really needed to change before he got worse, how come his dad hasn't taken him to the hospital?

"But you need my help." I glared him down, Luke sat down at the edge of his bed, he looked exhausted even after his nap, I didn't blame him though as I pulled out disinfecting spray on from my small carry on first aid kit.

My dad was in a strange gambling system when I was younger and I'd always 'Patch him up' with my little hello kitty bandages and kiss his boo boo's when I was younger, I missed my dad, he probably got into more trouble than he could handle, and ran away .  . . that's what I like telling myself remembering the good times with my dad but my brother say's he ran away with a prostitute to Vegas or something, and even after all these years I kept a first aid kit on myself.

"WHAT THE FUCK." Luke hissed out in pain standing up and walking a few paces away from the bed as I sprayed the disinfectant on his wound.

"Stop being a baby and come here," I complained reaching out and grabbing his arm pulling him towards back where he was sitting, our legs now touching.

"Don't touch me with that demon spray ever again." He grumbled taking the small bottle away from me just for good measure, I shook my head smiling softly but then focusing on the deep cut on his side.

"Dear Lord Luke." I wasn't so sure I wanted to ask anymore.

"Why do you keep the first kit on you anyway?" Luke questioned.

"Who attacked you?" I questioned back muttering back my own response to busy trying not to hurt him as I wiped gently at the edges seeing him flinch every so often as we both became silent.

"Only Y/N Y/L/N would carry  a first aid kit." He laughed lightly shaking his head as well, his laugh did things to me I didn't want to describe, why did he have so an effect on me when he didn't even like me?

"I got in a fight over you.." Luke said abruptly, I paused looking up in confusion at his baby blue eyes, that looked a little bit guilty.

"What? Why?!" sitting up fully, I crossed my arms, why would he need to fight? especially over me?

"That guy Kevin kept on saying crap in my biology class, and then kept on saying he could easily shag you and other stuff when he shouldn't even be saying that stuff you know?" Luke shrugged awkwardly, "And I shouldn't have been listening to him, but his words got to me and I threw the first punch, and then yeah . . . I got suspended, but after I left school his friends decided they wanted to get even with me." Luke looked away from my tense gaze, I blinked a few times staring a the boy before me, he seriously just did this because they said some bullshit?

"And I got Ash and Michael to threaten the class to not post anything so you wouldn't get mad, you're a little scary you know that?" He laughed shaking his head, my eyes studied him, He looked upset with himself, and he looked like he hadn't shaved since he's been gone from school his chin prickled with a stubble and his body covered in scars he had gotten from fighting over me.

The girl who didn't have any friends until now, the girl who knew more about school then what was cool in this day in age, the girl who was a nerd.

In a way it made sense, but on the surface it nothing but confusing, But Luke looked simple on the outside but was nothing but confusing on the inside, maybe I liked him because he was different, he didn't praise me for being smart, everyone thought it was amazing that I could solve a math problem easily, when I felt like I had more problems on the inside but no one saw past that, but I felt like Luke saw that, he saw past peoples lies and got straight to the point.

I felt light headed from all this thinking, and especially how my small crush on the blonde jerk made everything so much more . . . complicated.

"Y/N?" Luke waved his hand in front of my face as he bit his lip slightly.

"S-Sorry." I shook my head as if I shook my head enough all these feelings and thoughts would go away.

" . . . What now?" He whispered, Luke kept on glancing at me nervously, I never seen him like this, he was normally confident.

I didn't know how to answer, it made sense why Kevin walked in with a bruised cheek the other day or how people kept on looking at me weirdly, and how Kevin's gang of friends kept on picking on me before one of Luke's friends stepped in guiding me away from them.

I looked back at Luke his eyes soft and warm, changing to a cloudy blue his hair still tousled messily, and my feelings were all over the place yet again, whenever I wanted to tell Luke something the look on his face stopped me, and I was stuck in my thoughts unable to answer anything, the way his lip ring made him ten times hotter than I noticed before most of the time he went to school without it in, mostly because he normally got dragged to the principles office, the way his lips looked softer and irresistible, words didn't describe my stomach flipping.

Before I could stop myself  I leaned forward slowly and kissed his cheek closing my eyes softly, as my lips lingered on his cheek longer than I wanted to admit, my eyes fluttered open I leaned away from him my face turning red, why did I do that?! I looked away from Luke's face knowing I'd just become more embarrassed, I started putting away my first aid kit beside's the dressings for his hip that needed to be wrapped around his waist.

He laughed for a second, "Y/N, Look at me." But I couldn't bring myself to, I'd just become frozen in his gaze.

His fingertips touched my cheek turning my head, and I was met with his smile, he looked less tired than before.

"Thank you." He leaned forward his own eyes shutting as I found myself shutting my eyes to his lips grazing mine and the butterflies in stomach went insane a part of me becoming content.

He leaned away from my face now bright red I guarantee, I found myself wishing he was kissing me again, wait.. we kissed?! shit.

"I-I should really go, um here's your homework, and I-I Like you. Bye!" I tossed him his folder along with his homework, and ran up his staircase as fast as I could nearly tripping and falling down the wooden staircase, did I just tell him I liked him? Dear Lord Jesus kill me now!

-

{Part Six}

I’m so Sorry I haven’t been updating, I had a fallout with my old friends since kindergarten bc they didn’t agree with me being bi, Made a whole new friend group where I get treated like a princess, and get called babe, Made a Youtube channel with them, run a meme account, and now I’m enrolling in a school.. so, that happened.

[xbarrjallenx]

Boyfriend Material

Pairing: Alex Standall x Gender-Neutral!Reader

Summary: What would dating Alex include?

Requested: Yes / No 

Word count: 911

Posted: 23.04.2017

Warning(s): Mentions Bryce and Monty, swearing

Song inspiration: -

A/N: I am not good at these because I never did one, but why don’t we give a shot? I hope that you like it and I don’t fail you. - G. x

Links: Masterlist | Song Inspirations | Support My Writing 

Dating Alex Standall would include:

❊ Him being so shy around you at first

❊ His friends shipping you a lot and they would always tease the two of you

❊ Him awkwardly asking you on a date and his friends praising him for finally having the courage to do so

❊ Having pleasurable and sweet dinner dates at Rosie’s Diner

     ☞ It wouldn’t be considered a real date without clinking your milkshake glasses several times while laughing

❊ You being the most important person in his life from the very beginning 

❊ Him running to you to complain about his friends’ problems

❊ Constantly stopping him and Monty whenever they would start a senseless fight

❊ Curing his wounds whenever he would have a fistfight with Monty

     ☞ Him snapping at you because the disinfectant would sting and hurt a lot

     ☞ “Stay still, Standall!”

     ☞ “It fucking hurts, (Y/N)!” 

     ☞ “Then learn your fucking lesson, Alexander.” 

❊ You hating him for the fights, because he would always become Monty’s punching bag

     ☞ Nonetheless, though, you would be very proud of him, because he would NEVER let anyone bully you or himself

❊ Him being so possessive whenever Bryce and Monty would bother or tease you

     ☞ “Fuck off, Walker and De la Cruz!”

     ☞ He is a soft bean, so he would just wrap his arms around your waist or shoulders to make you feel safe once again and to remember you that he would protect you every single time

❊ Him considering you his saviour and happy pill because: 

     ☞ You would distract him whenever he would have his negative thoughts

     ☞ You would cheer him up whenever he would have a shitty day 

     ☞ You would calm him down whenever Hannah’s tapes would cross his mind

     ☞ You would grab him and hug him whenever he would overthink

❊ You constantly worrying whenever Clay would talk to him about Hannah and the tapes

❊ Being each other’s best friends and crying shoulder

❊ Both of you calling each other by your surnames when you would fight or fool around

     ☞ “You are so fucking annoying, (Y/L/N)!” 

     ☞ “Shut the fuck up, Standall!”

     ☞ “First of all, that was rude and, second, you shut the fuck up, (Y/L/N)!”

❊ Him never being afraid to show you his vulnerable side

❊ Both of you blindly trusting each other, so you weren’t afraid to tell each other your secrets

❊ Both of you being very affected by Hannah’s death, so:

     ☞ You would always stay by his side whenever the tapes tormented him

     ☞ He would constantly remind you to call him whenever you had nightmares

❊ Your ringtone being louder than any of his friends’, just in case you would call him in the middle of the night

     ☞ “Lex, I just had nightmares and I need a hug.” 

     ☞ “I’ll be there in 10, babe, stop crying, please. I love you.”

❊ Him being too sweet to you, nonetheless his sassy attitude

     ☞ Sometimes you would just cry because you would not expect it

❊ Him always calling you with sweet and flirty nicknames

     ☞ “Hello to the most perfect human being in this world!”

     ☞ “Hey there, Flatterer!”

❊ Lots of public display of affection and flirting

❊ Your friends embarrassing you because of the annoying amount of PDA

❊ Him proudly introducing you to his family

     ☞ His Father, Deputy Standall, would love you so much because his son would be all so smiley and happy around you

     ☞ His Family would support your relationship from the very start

❊ You coming over his house and bonding with his Mum by cooking for the whole family 

     ☞ You would receive plenty of compliments from Alex and his Family

     ☞ “Your Significant Other is the best, Alexander!” 

❊ You two having lots of sleepovers

❊ Window sneaking when one of the two would be grounded

❊ Cuddling and making out in your bedrooms, instead of going to parties and if you ever had to attend one: 

     ☞ He would be that overprotective, but lovely boyfriend

     ☞ He would assure you to not drink too much, but both of you would always end up violating all of those rules

     ☞ He would always take care of you whenever the alcohol knocked you out

     ☞ You would laugh a lot because alcohol make you the most carefree and stupid people in the world 

❊ You loving his precious smile

     ☞ He would try to smile a lot because he knew that it was your damn weakness

     ☞ You would poke his adorable dimples whenever they showed up

❊ Him beating you at Volleyball during Physical Education

❊ You loving it when he would play his electric guitar

     ☞ You would always worry when he would get distracted and miss a note, mostly after the tapes

     ☞ You would always encourage him to keep on playing

     ☞ He would teach you how to play the guitar

❊ Him being jealous when he would see you talk to Clay or Justin

❊ You playfully teasing him and shipping him with Zach

❊ Him constantly swearing and you constantly stopping him

     ☞ “Standall, your words!”

     ☞ “Jesus Christ!” 

     ☞ His complaints would always be followed with a groan and eye rolling 

❊ You patiently supporting his sarcastic ass 24/7

❊ Both of you having inside jokes that no one else would understand

❊ Both of you always sharing genuine and passionate kisses

❊ Both of you being suckers for those tight and comforting hugs

❊ You being his personal nurse when he would be sick

     ☞ You getting him his medicines for his stomach ache

❊ Shamelessly walking with your hands intertwine

     ☞ A thing that would happen always

❊ Both of you constantly reminding how much you loved each other

     ☞ “I love you so much, (Y/N).” 

     ☞ “I love you too, Alex.”

[saviormysticmeme]

Hey, can I request RFA+V+Saeran reacting to a SuicideGirl!MC? The idea just pop up in my head lolol. I loooooove your blog hehe stay awesome

RFA+V+Saeran react to SuicideGirl!MC

Some NSFW

Ok so I had to look up what ‘Suicide Girl’ meant and what Urban Dictionary told me is that it’s an alternative style that’s somewhere between emo/goth and pin up. My type of girl and it was also noted that they’re pretty sexual and kind of known for their style of erotic pics and sometimes porn. 

If this isn’t what you meant and you actually meant then let me know but I think I got this one 

So let’s go!

Yoosung

He’s a stuttering mess

He never knew he was into this style until he met you

He didn’t know what a Suicide Girl was but you explained it to him and he constantly blushes “Wait so…so you’re a p-porn star??”

You blush a little “Well I wouldn’t say star…”

He has a fucking nosebleed. He has nosebleeds everyday when you’re trying on new outfits because you change right in front of him and oh mah gawwww 

Your tattoos. Your piercings. The way you move. Everything. And you always send him coy little glances knowing damn well you’re giving this boy the most raging boners.

Sometimes you ask him if he can help you take pictures ;*

Sometimes you send him pictures. Your photo shoots are anywhere between PG and Rated R for Rad as Fuck  or Raging Boner. Whatever.

He always tries to make sure he’s not near anyone when he opens them, but one time he accidentally opened one of your pics up when he’s with his friends

It was Rated R

On the fluffier side of things

You guys dye each others hair and exchange hair clips

You constantly rave about how much you love his eyes and it makes him blush. Sometimes you wear purple contacts and the two of you take a fuck ton of selfies.

Speaking of the selfies

They’re always so cute

You look so fierce and poised and Yoosung usually has a shocked look on his face cause “MC, you’re a model I look like-”

“You look cute Yoosung now come on”

And you start snapping away. About 20 selfies in he gets a little more confident, so he starts getting a big dopey grin on his face

It’s so cute. You look like Edgelord McGee and he’s just this little Vanilla Cone with a swirl of Awkward 

10/10 for opposites attract

Jaehee

At first it was a total ‘Whoa what’ moment, but she loves and accepts you as her girlbestfriend :)

:))))))))))))))

She loves how confident you seem in all your pictures. It’s clear you’re doing something that makes you happy and that makes her happy.

The tongue piercing also makes her happy

She has seen all your photo shoots, she even has some physical copies of her favorite shots

The kicker is she doesn’t have them just because they’re hot

She genuinely enjoys some of your photo shoots, talking about how they’re very tasteful statement pieces

She flatters you constantly without meaning to just by going on about how good you are with keeping your style consistent but making variations to fit the social setting

You think she’s talking about how even at RFA parties you’re elegant, but your dark pinup taste is evident with your V cut black dress with the leg slit accompanied by the stilettos and choker. 

 But who really knows. 

You’ve totally tried dressing her up before

Remember in her route how she asked about dark lipstick?

It works for her. 

Works reaallllllly well. 

But she’s pretty awkward about it all 

“I don’t know, MC, I don’t think I’m bold enough for this style”

You give a small pout as you undress her, but that frown is quickly turned upside down because

Hey you’re undressing Baehee B)

Zen

He’s so down

You were worried because he always talks about you being his ‘Princess’ and being a Suicide Girl wasn’t very…. ‘Princessy’

He agrees. It isn’t.

It’s very…. ‘Queeny’

It totally reminds him of his motorcycle gang days

When you two go out he loves to wear his leather jackets and dark sunglasses, but his favorite accessory is his hand wrapped around your waist.

You two are constantly serving L o o k s

Some of his fans rag on you for your promiscuous activities, but Zen shuts that shit down real quick.

Some really skeevy Paparazzos will try getting a rise out of him

“Hey Zen, how do you feel about anyone and everyone seeing your girlfriend naked?”

Zen whips around, staring daggers into this man, half of him fighting the urge to FUCKIN BRAWL

You tighten your grip on his arm and whisper in his ear “They can see me, but you’re the only one who gets to touch baby”

His scowl quickly turns into a grin as he looks at you.

T H E B E A S T H A S A W O K E N

He ignores the paparazzi and rushes you to the car so you two can rush the fuck home and get

Nasty. 

That’s the way to describe the sex between you two because he can’t control himself whatsoever when you’ve got those tattoos, those piercings, that hair. The attitude.

And fuck, half the comments on your photos are just guys telling you what the want to do with you in a bedroom so you know how to please Zen.

Sometimes he gets jealous and a little pissy about all the people commenting on your videos and photos 

But he remembers you’re just in the performance game, same as him. 

And when you promise that you’re all his

Well

huehuehue

Jumin

He’s so conflicted

This is not an image he can be associated with, not as the future CEO of C&R. And his father is quick to remind him of that, constantly breathing down Jumin’s neck about how he can’t be seen with you.

But Jumin loves you…and honestly the style is a bit of a guilty pleasure

He likes the leather, the chains, the tattoos and piercings. 

They were things he never saw women wearing when he grew up

It made it very easy for his subconscious to latch onto you because you were nothing like any woman his father ever brought home. You were nothing like the women who had tried using Jumin for his money

You were something new and he liked it. A lot.

So even he was a little heartbroken to hear you say you’d change your style so you two could be seen in public together. You’d quit your job. You’d be whatever he needed because you loved him and didn’t want to hinder his life. He came home one day to find you dressed head to toe in casual clothes, your piercings taken out, your hair dyed all black instead of the plethora of colors it had been before.

Fuck that

He picked up his phone and started making a series of calls. First to the hair dresser, then to a stylist, then to 707.

“Jumin what are you doing??” You asked, confused as to why he wasn’t happy with your new appearance.

“You’re not changing for me.” He grunted in between calls. “I want you to be happy when you’re with me, not playing dress up and acting like something you’re not.”

You guys reached an agreement

707 would wipe any traceable history of your videos and more racy pictures so no one could connect you to the more sexual part of your career. You’d get your hair done however you wanted, and you chose to get it done a nice, dark navy color, something still fun but a little more subdued. You put most of your piercings back in, leaving a few out, and a stylist would pick out nothing but the best clothes that matched your style while maintaining a very elegant look.

One day Jumin tells you to turn on a TV to a local fashion network

You do and suddenly you see a stream of pictures pouring across the screen featuring key points of SuicideGirl style and the host going ‘Is the American ‘SuicideGirl’ style coming to Korea? While previously receiving a lot of scrutiny, we’re seeing a new shift in this trend that makes it look very … classy. Especially if you look at M.C., girlfriend of C&Rs very own Jumin Han’ 

A picture of you and Jumin walking down the street together is shown, both of you freshly dressed to death looking good as hell. Jumin is looking right at the paparazzi’s camera…like he knew it was there

“Jumin…did you convince a fashion network that I’m a classy alternative fashion icon?”

“It’s amazing what money can do. Now…I can enjoy you for you” He purred the last part as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a kiss

707

He loves it. 

You’re the perfect mix of pinup and alternative. The red lipstick and tattoos combo really turns him on.

He took your professional photos and made them his background on everything

His 7 computes

His tablet

His ipod

He hacked all his gaming systems so you’re the background/opening screen

The only place he doesn’t have one of your pro pics is his phone

That’s reserved for silly pictures of you two

He loves just tracing your tattoos with his fingers, talking about them, planning your next ones with you

Planning out all your outfits with you

He tries helping you dye your hair but that never works well for anyone.

He kisses every single one of your facial piercings all the time and the other ones

He occasionally buys fake tattoo sleeves and magnet piercings and dresses up like you

He uploads his photos to the same sites you’re on and sometimes this motherfucker gets more views 

He always reads through the comments left on your videos and photos. If someones messing with you or get a little too raunchy, bet your ass their computer is fucked.

“Seven people are complaining their computers crash when they comment on my stuff”

“Huh, weird”

V

He’s a little uncomfortable with the video career. Just because he knows there are so many people being so…crude towards you because of it. You assure him it’s nothing, but he just hates the idea of anyone saying anything sexual or rude to you

He makes a proposal: You model for him instead. Photos of you to be put in galleries instead of online posts for sexual deviants to get their kicks off of

And you two can record your own private videos

I’ll let you decide if you take him up on it or not

Anyways

You probably saw this one coming but

So. Many. Photos.

He’s never had a subject like you and he’s eating it up

His photos always had a calm, peaceful, serene tone to them

The photos he takes of you? Passionate, daring, sexual. 

You pose for days and you two could go for hours.

He’s never been bothered by nude models, but when you start stripping your clothes he gets a little flustered

“MC, we don’t have to do nude if you’d rather not. I know we have a relationship so if you’d rather save yourself…”

You grin at him, unclip your bra, and drop it all while maintaining eye contact

His eyes widen, his mouth drops, and his camera flash goes off. 

Even if he gets his eyes fixed, his time being blind made him reliant on his other senses, especially touch.

Sometimes when you two are spooning, you take his hand and have him trace all your tattoos. Every time you hit a piercing he gently circles it with his index finger, and traces the shapes of the ones you have that aren’t typical rounds. 

Everyone admits they never imagined you two getting together, but you foil each other nicely. 

Sometimes you slip edgier pieces into his wardrobe

“MC, I don’t remember having black pants that were this…tight”

“Try them on. Trust me.” You grin when he can’t deny you the satisfaction of trying them on.

Saeran

Need I say it?

You two are the Edgelords of the century

You take pictures with him all the time and post him, constantly sending your followers into fits over the fact you guys are ‘#Goals’ or how ‘Oh my god they’re both so hot’

You get a few comments that are “Do a video together!”

Saeran doesn’t get it. What do they mean about a video together.

When he finds out

Ho

Hohohohoho

He gets so flustered and uppity. He’s pissed at your followers. “Tell them to fuck off”

But he never says he opposed to doing a video just for the two of you

Anyways

You guys take each other’s shit constantly. You’re constantly wrapped up in his hoodies, he’s always swiping your hats and belts.

Dye each other’s hair of course

Tattoo dates. Matching ones? Sure. But even when it’s just one of you getting one the other comes along and they make a day out of it

He follows you to work all the time

Someones taking racy pictures of you? If they’re a dirtbag about it I’m breaking their jaw.

You and some of your Suicide Girl friends are going out in public together? Saeran follows, never far behind.

Any douchebags on the street give you problems? He breaks their jaw. 

He goes through the comments on your videos

And they piss him off so much, but then you remind him that you’re all his

Alllll hisss