#fucking end me (affectionate)

[chronologically-challenged]

I think that the party's communication issues can be summed up as "man, is it awkward to tell someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with them if you've only know them for a few months? Probably."

[trans-boytoy]

You know what would absolutely destroy me?

If my dom came over at the end of the day, lifted up my small body without preamble to carry me to the bed and throw me onto it, not saying a word; I would ask what they wanted, terrified of the dangerous look in their eyes, and they'd tell me to shut the fuck up, while tearing both of our clothes off. Then they would climb on top of me to hold me down, force my thighs apart with enough strength to bruise my skin already; then they would bury themself in my dripping wet boycunt, starting to fuck me so hard like I was not an actual fragile person but a mere object to take out their anger and frustration on. They would use my holes like this for hours, making me cum over and over again, not for my own pleasure but to amuse themself with my pathetic whimpers and expressions ans trembles when I orgasm, and to gradually turn it into torture, to make me beg for them to stop when I can't take it anymore, but they won't, not until they filled me with so much cum it's flowing out from my holes in streams. By the time they stopped, I would be barely conscious, hurting all over, marked with bruises and hickeys, my eyes red from crying. I'd be just lying there, looking up at them with a clouded gaze, not believing they finally stopped and I'm still in one piece more or less.....and then they'd lean in and kiss me on the lips with such gentleness, my stomach would flutter despite the pain and exhaustion. They would lie down next to me and cuddle my small, half-ruined body; I would wrap my weak, shaking arms around them; they would rest their head on my chest, falling asleep there. Because they know that is what will end me completely.

[curemoonliite]

wow i can't believe some guy's auditory processing disorder almost made a precure season end after one episode

[sweet-marigold]

It’s missing blitzfizz hours….. I miss them so much 😭😭

Warning for long tags

[rivilu]

One side effect of the autistic sense of justice for me is going insane over justice and vengeance as concepts in themselves whenever applicable in media.

Which unfortunately means that thinking about justice dragon age for too long (especially with the post inq takes on spirits) makes me want to rip my hair out.

[tearlessrain]

can I ask when you started on hrt? cause I'm just starting now (25) and although I logically know that's definitely not too late, I can't help but feel sucker-punched by grief every once in a while that I don't get to spend my early twenties in a body that feels like mine.

many internet hugs for you, anon. I didn't start hrt until I was around 26 and didn't come out at all until about a year before that, and I absolutely spent some time early on grieving the time I lost, especially since the pandemic struck just as I was finally starting to feel comfortable in my own body.

however, I'm now 32, and that sense of grief and regret has only grown more distant the more time I've spent living how I was meant to be. and I promise you have much, much more time than it feels like. at age 25 I was literally a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding (we joke about it now), and within like two years I'd completely socially transitioned and was working in a salon in cosmetology school where none of my clients knew me as anything other than the Obligatory Resident Gay Guy. I've made friends, I've gotten involved with the local kink community, I got comfortable enough to grow my hair back out and go full tolkien elf, and it feels fantastic. There's a lot of cultural emphasis on your early 20s in media and online culture, but it's really a tiny sliver of your entire life and pretty much nobody, trans or cis, has fully become themselves by that point.

That's not to say the grief doesn't have a place, I still have my moments where I think about what could have been and mourn the person I wasn't able to be, but the experiences you'll have going forward will more than make up for it.

[no-one-picked-maris]

i can't deal w/ this. i bought molly's camp uniform on mercari but the seller also sent me a fucking kirsten.

i have three kirstens now (pc 1994, 35th anniversary, and the one i was sent is mid-2000s).

will anyone take a kirsten holy shit.

[loosethreadsofyoursoul]

this might be targeted to a very specific audience but for the past while i’ve been driving myself nuts bc in crimson rivers, remus is the only one who can tell when sirius is like dissociating right? not even james, his best friend in the world, or regulus, his little brother, can see it the way remus can (“you were gone for a bit, i think”). and the reason i was going nuts is bc i felt like there was something similar to this but for the longest time i couldn’t put my finger on it. but then. THEN i was rewatching thee best show of all time, fleabag, and it hit me. it’s like when the priest is able to tell when fleabag breaks the fourth wall when nobody, not claire, not boo, has ever been able to before (“where did you just go?”)

and idk there’s something so beautiful and kind of heartbreaking to me about that, how maybe only the person who is best described as your soulmate can see even the most minuscule things about you, the parts of you that maybe you didn’t even realize others could see. the things that had been just for you, your whole life, are things that they share in bc they’re the person who knows you and loves you best. i dunno maybe this doesn’t make sense but it makes me kind of teary to think about. it’s just. lovely.

[aroacee-of-spades]

^ face of someone (me) who just finished the arcane finale

[sfiltron]

Holy shit holy shit holy shit.

Wilbur ended stream and then this happened:

He said "sorry Tallulah, but you are in a cold world", he took off his sword "it takes only one click". But there is no click, no sound, only q!Quackity questioning whether or not to kill Tallulah, silently watching her sleep.

He goes to thr canvas, and draws Tilín, his dead child, and hangs the painted canvas in the wall. The. Looks around, reading the signs that Tallulah used to talk with Wilbur, and then he retracts from what he was about to do.

q!Quackity gives a last watch at q!Wilbur and Tallulah's little wood and dirt house, and he leaves.

And then he ends stream.

[cinnamonsikwate]

sometimes i feel like the "marcille hates laios" jokes are going a little too far.............

[vaguely-concerned]

big fuck you (complimentary) to rené auberjonois for making me cry with one little movement of his eyes as odo looks at kira and says "and it's been my observation that you humanoids have a hard time giving up the things you love, no matter how much they might hurt you"

[girlwiththegreenhat]

i am never going to recover from the death shroud radio play actually

[solplease]

OKAY. DONE. the update was SOOOOO fucking good i enjoyed that sm

[moonfurthetemmie]

so like. lucidity and his version of nightmare.

Officially the nature of Lucidity's feelings regarding Nightmare is up to interpretation, but due to the nature of DreamSwap, damn near anything is possible. and i'm gonna just play with the idea of it being romantic for a bit.

Nightmare definitely had a crush on Dream when they were kids. Like. That's actually canon. Dream I don't think ever knew.

Lucidity certainly didn't.

But if any of those feelings remain, Lucidity will notice pretty quickly now. Unless him going evil has finally made Nightmare go 'oh jesus christ no', which I find unlikely since Nightmare also finds out that Lucidity still cares about him at about the same time. that's going to complicate things a bit.

i could go on this tangent about a hyper-specific scenario i had in my head, but it'd involve way too much backstory about an overly complicated AU that isn't ready to be shared yet, so i'll just stow that away and pull out the basic themes of it.

If Lucidity ever happens upon Nightmare when he's in danger, Lucidity won't hesitate to try and save him. Generally Nightmare doesn't get into the kind of trouble where he needs saving, but Lucidity's fucking paranoid about losing people, so he just swoops in and gets rid of the problem as fast as possible no matter how small it is, or if Nightmare seems to be handling it just fine.

This wouldn't change if, somehow, probably through some outside interference, their destiny bond was broken.

if Nightmare's crush hasn't fully gone away, and if Lucidity really does save his ass from certain doom, that crush is going to suddenly come back like 10x worse and he's going to be a mess about it.

Lucidity would love to have Nightmare stay with him, Shale, and Nightshade. If he wasn't absolutely convinced that Nightmare's moral compass was so strong he'd only agree so he could try and stop them from their shit by messing stuff up from the inside, he'd have given the offer to Nightmare ages ago. This applies to non-romantic versions as well, but in the romantic version Lucidity is also looking for a way for him, Shale, and Nightshade to get along. His boyfriends don't all have to date, but they need to be able to peacefully co-exist. otherwise things are going to be. uh. difficult

He's right about Nightmare, though. Even if Nightmare's romantic feelings for him got turned up to 11, he's not just going to run off with him. He's kind of thinking about it, but in a 'how can i get him to Not Do This and just stay with me' way, rather than 'would it really be so bad? it's not like he's going to hurt me. or people I care about. ...right?'

cross and error would be teasing Nightmare about being a disaster gay, but they're a little more concerned that he's considering it at all. In any way. He's also really distressed about this, and they absolutely understand why! no fucking idea how to help him though.

All that said, Lucidity is trying to figure something out. He doesn't necessarily need Nightmare to love him (romantically), he just needs to make absolutely fucking sure that Nightmare stays near and stays safe. And is happy staying with him, without trying to interfere. romantic feelings can be considered afterwards.

I have no idea if that's going to work out for him. It probably will in one timeline, because i love making things worse, but I'm not sure how yet, or if that will be the main timeline.

I do know that it'll be a hell of a lot harder so long as Cross and Error are there. Even if Nightmare's too busy being a fucking disaster to remember-slash-notice, those two are absolutely going to notice that lucidity's being Weird. And his boyfriends are, too. They might not pick up on what exactly it is but they'll figure it out eventually. And they're certainly not letting nightmare go off alone to see Lucidity and his boyfriends; especially not fucking Shale

'fucking shale' (adjective + noun; derogatory) doesn't have the same ring to it as 'fucking obsidian' (adjective + noun; derogatory)

Nightmare might think they're overreacting sometimes, but they've konwn each other long enough and been through enough together that, unless lucidity can talk to him alone and make him doubt his friends, he absolutely trusts their judgement. Even if Lucidity does get him alone, Nightmare knows that Lucidity never had a great opinion of Cross, so pretty much anything negative he says about her is going to be taken with a whole mountain of salt chunks. And once he starts on Cross, Nightmare will be more dubious about anything negative Lucidity says about Error.

Nightmare's very smart. And he's had some bad run-ins with people. He knows to look out for certain things. He knows he shouldn't trust Lucidity after he's clearly lost his head and has been hanging out with a couple of nasty bastards (whom night may or may not know are manipulative pieces of shit anyways).

Unfortunately, he (and also Cross and Error, admittedly) is still having trouble believing that Lucidity's changed this much in such a short amount of time. The Lucidity he knew before, who ran Justice Reigns, wouldn't try to turn him against his friends just for his own gain. The Lucidity he knew before wouldn't try to manipulate him at all. And if his crush has gotten way way stronger, that's...that's probably going to color his perception a bit. No matter how hard he tries to do otherwise.

Also. As a general rule I consider breaking the destiny bond a Good Thing. While neither of them are likely to try to get themselves killed, it’s nice to know that they’re not going to die for the other’s mistakes.

Lucidity would not want it to be broken. Particularly in the context i mentioned above, where someone is trying to kill Nightmare, but very much wants Lucidity alive. This means that destiny bond is more or less keeping Nightmare alive.

He wouldn’t think much of it normally, without influence from wholly different multiverses. But if anyone’s actively trying to sever the destiny bond they almost definitely want one of them dead, and Lucidity is going to assume its Nightmare until further notice. And he isn’t going to let that happen if he has anything to say about it.

[nguyenfinity]

[blasts you with miscellaneous rinky doodles from our heartbeat event]