#fuckin. if i have autism sure then whatever man i dont care i just dont want to have to fuckin go through *another* self discovery thing
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uh oh im hyperfixating on my own ocs again
#ive been drawing them so much the past few days its only occurring to me now what that means#granted three other ones have also been acting up again so my mind is on many#oh four maybe ive been getting caught up on d20.......... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm#hhhh still just. in that current phase of self diagnosis where im still unsure of calling myself it or not#but. as someone with diagnosed adhd who knows what hyperfixation is like. i. think some of these are closer to autism special interests....#fuckin. if i have autism sure then whatever man i dont care i just dont want to have to fuckin go through *another* self discovery thing#eh i guess its a new year who knows#adhd 2020 nonbinary 2021 autism 2022 i know its feb now but i started questioning last year so yeah#anyway mental health aside i thought of a cool prompt idea thing so im gonna do that now#crazwaz posted
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ok actually gonna talk about this i was thinking 2 heavy had to log back in for this post specifically excuse the rant yall :(
like i dont care for miss pauling being super serious etc but in the time between my initial autism hatred and now im willing 2 chalk that up to me making shit up/ extrapolating or whatevs
BUT SCOUT HAD MATURED! HE DID ALREADY! AND THAT IS WHAT TRULY HAS ME FUCKED UP ABT THE SCOUTPAULING BLUNDER . SCOUT BEING ALL LIKE "OMG I CAN FREAK IT WITH PRETTY WEMEN?!!>" JUST MISUNDERSTANDS HIS CHARACTER AND RELATIONSHIP TO MISS PAULING SO BAD AND IM SUCH AN ERM ACTUALLYING SCOUTPAULINGCEL AT THIS POINT BUT WHO GAF THIS IS MY TRUTH THE COMIC HURT ME LIKE NOBODY EVEN UNDERSTANDS HOW GRAVELY THIS WILL AFFECT THE POSTING ECONOMY
MY BOY DID NOT LIKE HER BECAUSE SHES JUST HOT AND THAT FUCKING SCENE IS GONNA MAKE ME HAVE DENTAL PROBLEMS , LIKE
//ritalin wearing off so excuse the extra tangents but like. in a way i sorta could tell it was kinda already coming to this? im not sure where i can find screenshots but i was talking about the scene with god in the 6th comic where he wants scout 2 fuck insane styles all over the place and how it undermined a lot of what was important to his interest in miss pauling and that he was growing to chill tf out at her earlier in the comic when he met up with her and gave her that hug etc. i understand what theyre trying to do/say with their relationship in this story NOW but it just doesnt really work for me in the same way still. for obvious reasons .. well. who cares scoutpauling 4life what ru a COP get OUT OF MY HOUSE//
miss pauling in the mainline comics isnt into him but it doesnt change the fact that scout genuinely loved her regardless, EXP DATE WOULD NEVER DO THIS TO ME LIKE. exp date shows that hes been around , HE IS OUT HERE FUCKING MISS PAULING IS NOT THE ONLY WOMAN HES EVER MET IN HIS LIFE
//like i get in the mainline comics they treat him as a virgin or whatever but i think it just oversimplifies who he is and the comics often dumb him down worse than he really is but also i made up things in my mind so i should shut up. I wont.//
HE DOESNT STICK AROUND AND TRY TO DO NICE STUFF FOR HER JUST CUZ HE WANTS TO GET IN HER PANTS CUZ SHES HOT. HE COULD PICK UP HOT WOMEN VIA BUCKET OF CHICKEN VERY EASILY BUT WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IN A TUMOR RELATED DEATH SITUATION HE WANTS TO DO SOMETHING SPECIAL BECAUSE SHE IS IMPORTANT TO HIM SPECIFICALLY. MY MAN COULDVE DECIDED TO LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE WITH HIS ASSUMED TO BE DWINDLING TIME BUT DECIDED NOT TO.
HE LIKES HER FOR DEEPER REASONS . HE LIKES THAT SHES SMART AND PUT TOGETHER AND NICE LIKE HE SINCERELY WOULDNT SAY ALLAT SHIT TO SPY IF HE DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE HE IS THE WORLDS MOST REVOLTING AUTISTIC WARRIOR IF HE WAS JUST IN IT FOR COOCHIE HE WOULD MAKE IT ABUNDANTLY CLEAR LIKE COME ON. MATTER OF FACT - HE DOES! IN THEIR FIRST SCENE THEY ARE IN TOGETHER! AND YET! HE MATURES!
LIKE
HE GROWS TO NOT JUST WANNA HIT ON HER, HIS LAST WISH IS LEGIT TO ONLY GO ON A DATE WITH HER, NOTHING MORE THAN THAT. VOLUMES ARE STORED WITHIN THAT WEIRD GUY AND LIKE GUHHHHHHHHHHHH
IN MY MINDS EYE HIS PERSONA OF MASCULINITY IS HEAVILY TIED TO TIRED MISOGYNISTIC IDEAS OF WOMEN JUST BEING THERE FOR SEXUAL CONQUEST AND THAT IN TURN FEEDS HIS EGO
IT IS FACKING HUGE FOR HIS CHARACTER THAT HE CARES MORE ABOUT HER FEELINGS AND DOING THINGS RIGHT N TAKING SHIT SLOW THAN JUST GETTING LAID AND ITS BOTH BIG FOR HIM GROWING AS A PERSON WITHIN HIS MISOGYNY AND ALSO HIS TOXIC MASCULINITY ETC
HE HAS TO HAVE HAD A DEEPER REASONING TO DO ALL THE SHIT HE DID THAN "HOT",MAN.
I LIKE 2 BELIEVE THAT WORKING MORE WITH MISS PAULING AND TREATING HER AS AN EQUAL IN THE TEAM POST MEET THE DIRECTOR ALLOWS HIM TO SEE MORE OF HER AND SHE BECOMES A HUMAN BEING 2HIM INSTEAD OF JUST A OBJECT AND HE BEGINS TO GARNER DEEPER EMOTIONS..
//2me scout is if the american psycho was both just some dude and also if he had the capacity to just take a fuckin pill like. im way blowing shit out of proportion to what im supposed to read from but im just throwing every thought around who give a fuck like. i think in terms of the chicken girl and the assumed other women like her like the sex would be shit on account of. its not really about any feeling or want in particular so much as just a way to feel like hes portraying The Guy as well as possible. you know what i mean. him starting to want a deeper connection than superficial bullshit is mega humongous and it speaks volumes to the importance of his love for her to his character. you know. Do you understand. //
LIKE FUCK
THATS ALSO WHAT FUCKS ME UP SO BADLY ABOUT HOW HE TALKS ABOUT HIS LOVE FOR PAULING TOO
LIKE ITS NOT JUST HIM TRYING TO WEAR HER DOWN ,
HE GROWS OUT OF HIS SHIT.
THE WHOLE POINT WAS THAT HE SEES HER AS A PERSON AND DEVELOPS A DEEP RESPECT FOR HER AND HER OWN CHOICES . WAITING FOR HER TO LOVE HIM BECOMES SECONDHAND TO THE IMPORTANCE BECOMES THE CONNECTION HE HAS TO HER REGARDLESS OF WHAT IT IS. I CANT LIKE. COME ON YALL
its okay. im letting peace into my mind. scout is just a silly man and i never even care about fiction to much at all and. florence isnt a shit name for miss pauling i was just mad :,( .though she will always be faline to me because her cuteness :)
//i was right about scout being dilf material though so i take the w on that one//
I like to think Scout and Flo Pauling eventually get together in the future, it's just they weren't ready at the time since Scout was immature and Flo had too much going on mentally to pursue any relationship.
like the thing is tha y scouuts hole character axrc is abput growing 2 undetaymad this and underatnad her serspective and waiti but they dont ducki g rite that cuz who gaf idek man
they shoulve hirwd me as lead scoutpauling xonsultant i couldve saved tf2 comic 7
#tf2 spoilers#ask#rainysnow#tf2#tf2/ scout#tf2/ pauling#scoutpauling#i never want to be the type of guy that rants on main like this but this development awoke the dog in me#my dear asker you have never hurt me this is literally just me tacking on my shit to this cuz it relates and i dont wanna make a whole post#on itself cuz i dont want to put this into tags#^that said the search function yields rbs now oh well :(#// also i am incapable of writing big posts without heavy stimulants because i consistently weave my way through everything that is#not the point of what im trying to say#so my bad#andy rambles#tf2 headcanons#<- i guess? does it count when you are looking canon and the eye and going. yes you are wrong#i mean sort of#sometimes it can be true#who even care#i have more to talk about that on account of scoutpauling arc in my brain but ive spoken enough probs#i shouldnt be allowed 2 write posts#ALSO THIS IS NOT A SCOUT HATE POST. I LOVE HIM AND HES A GOOD BOY AND I TAKE HIS BRAIN APART AND LOOK INSIDE HE IS MY POOKIE TO THE END#i dont even know who this post is for and i think i talked in circles too much but i hope you like my brainworms#said this 1000 times 2 others ive yapped to but i think a big problem also was just it tried to tie up his character in a too hamfisted#way? like they wrote it in a believable in-character voice at least but also it just read too much like scott pilgrim in the anime saying#it was a bad to date knives. im just very normal about toxic male characters and it felt unnecessary n more like speaking to the audience#than interacting with what happened in a meaningful way but excuse the yapping. also pls dont mince my words#women arent responsible 4 bad men. sex isnt evil n u dont need romantic attraction 2 be nice. u know i am not saying this cuz ur smart#fighting against tag limits this is ok 2 rb
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Chuck please tell me more about homelander and moyear . Please 🥺
AAUGHH FINALLY some good anons. grips you by the shoulders god i fucking RANTED SO MUCH SO I'M PUTTING IT UNDER THE CUT. i hope you can enjoy my hyperfixation ramblings
i dont know if you know anything about homelander, but he is a fucking nightmare!!!! probably my most problematic fave. i'm glad i haven't gotten flamed for liking him (yet), but i just find the insane atrocities he commits just... genuinely compelling. he's so fucked up but insanely complex. it's really interesting to see how he is literally just a product of society, not to get all joker on you. he was "bred" and raised to be an icon, a symbol, but he grew up trained to be a weapon rather than a caring hero... his mommy/daddy issues are funny and all what with the milk, but it HURTS sometimes. he just wants to be loved!! he wants NOTHING MORE than to be loved. he tries to convince himself over and over he doesn't need people, but fuck he just wants them all to like him but he doesn't know HOW TO PEOPLE or be LIKABLE without a script to read from or without someone holding his hang along the way. he did not ask to be like this but it's all he knows how to do............ still doesn't excuse the murder, intimidation, manipulation, or anything else he's done throughout the series. he's godawful. homelander doesn't give a fuck about the atrocities he commits either because someone will just clean it up for him. he's a raging manbaby who wouldn't know responsibility if it punched him in the face. and i love him for it. he's BEYOND fixing but honestly whatever's wrong with him is so much funnier.
funny thing is about morryear is that i really don't have a lot actually plotted for them. I JUST think they're a cute couple... mo is a lot more extroverted and a people person while buzz is more reserved. it's the adhd/autism ship of the century. mo thinks buzz's vibes are chill and likes to hang out with him, tease him a little and laugh it off, meanwhile buzz just kinda gets into his head about it like 'ahh what did he mean by that...😳' i think any real advancements made towards romance or anything beyond that would have to be done by buzz, who has a lot more confidence than mo. the tables turn when mo's laughing and being bubbly when buzz leans in for a kiss or holds his hand, INSTANTLY shy and puppydog eyed (something that also makes buzz insanely weak for mo... he's got those sad eyes so hard but they're sooo cuteee). mo's stupidity makes buzz so baffled that someone could lack so much common sense, but he finds it endearing. correcting him and watching mo get all defensive or embarrassed makes him chuckle. neither of them really think to call their relationship anything for a while... obviously insanely in love, but they're a little scared to ask each other out.. they just kinda run around being head over heels so much that it makes izzy and darby roll their eyes. buzz cares so hard for his man... mo can be irresponsible as hell and so buzz makes it his mission to make sure he's eating properly (something mo fails at) and is taken care of, as well as getting his fuckin work done. in contrast, mo likes to see buzz relax. he likes it when he gives up on that super formal attitude and demasks and can be vulnerable in front of him, be a little silly and show mo a side of himself that he hardly lets see the light of day. he's clearly just.. so yearnful for tenderness and softness since his life is usually so hectic and military, mo likes being able to be there and help him relax. especially when buzz is an extra cuddly mood!! you know mo is so touchy.
OKAY THAT'S ALL I'M GONNA SAY FOR NOW I WROTE TOO MUCH. i hope this all fills your brain with much stimulation as it did for me to write it. 😁😁😁😁
#the boys#homelander#lightyear#morryear#mo morrison#buzz lightyear#lightyear .#tb .#asks .#chuck shut up challenge .#if i can;t scream and kick and cry about these things on a daily basis WHO EVEN AM I
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anyways, autistic adult here going out to all the autism parents out there;;; stop fucking bragging about abusing your autistic kids. i lived through my autistic childhood, you havent, you need to hear me out. stop posting your horrible ‘inspirational stories’ about how happy you are that you ‘pushed through’ and did something awful and distressing to your child in an effort to make them normal. it is so harmful and so disgusting for autistic people to have to hear about. those stories make me wanna gag. they give me physical discomfort, the way these people are so... Proud of themselves, for thinking they are ‘eradicating’ these evil autism symptoms, like the symptoms arent just an inherent fucking PART of their child they destroyed out of blind ignorant ‘care’. fucking listen to yourself. you did not help them. i dont care that they learned some new (usually unnecessary and performative) neurotypical skill you had been pushing on them for years. i dont care how fuzzy inside that makes you feel. i dont care about whatever you come up with that proves their ‘progress’. no. you were projecting your frustrations. you were pressuring them into smth they didnt need. you didnt Fucking help them. you made them Conform. you Hurt them to make them act like everyone else, bc you let yourself become that convinced that their autism is whats damaging them, and not the outside world that tries to dismantle what they are on the daily, for no fucking REASON besides irrationally projecting your own standards and ideals onto them. the ‘cure’ for autism is not ‘acting normal’, for gods sake. you Punished them for being autistic instead of accepting it and accommodating them. frankly, no matter your real intention, its selfish.
like. im sorry but im livid, i am TIRED of seeing this kind of shit encouraged everywhere. forcing your kid into meltdowns unless it is a 110% safety concern, is abuse and disability discrimination, especially when you are trying to force them to be ‘normal’ by punishing them in these awful prejudiced ways until they meet YOUR idealized standards of functioning and ‘quality of life’, which is self centered for gods sake! like! nah man actually im totally fine with some of my symptoms if you people would just leave me the fuck alone about it??? i like stimming, i like special interests, my ‘sensory issues’ can become blissful when i find the right sensory experience, my struggle to communicate has given me so many beautiful Alternatives and connected me with so many people. im fucking fine, i dont always need to bend to you, you can bend to me sometimes, okay? like. smh, neurotypicals/abled people, society revolves around you, sure, but that doesnt mean someone being Different from you makes them the wrong or unhealthy one... they can be Perfectly happy even though they dont live the way you do, and to think otherwise is again, just really self centered. why are you the default? why is YOUR HAPPINESS with YOUR LIFE the default standard??? someone being different from you doesnt always mean their existence automatically Pains them, or that its Lesser or Worse. accommodation and understanding does a hell of a lot better for somebody than trying to just force them to act how you do under the ignorant assumption that it Must be inherently better for them and their existence. ��but- things would be easier for them if they were normal right! thats just how the world is!” cool. but they arent. listen to me. They Arent. just fucking accept that, and focus on fixing the obviously bigger issue, the whole ‘WORLD’ part that rejects everything abnormal, jesus christ. like honestly, thats the worst part about being ‘abnormal’, how the outside world fucking treats you. its how they wont fucking let you exist and wont get off their ass to try and understand or support you, without conditions that include ‘copy me as best as you can so its easier for me’. the worst part is that the people who ‘support’ you view that support as wittling you into something less difficult for them to ‘help’ at the expense of your fucking basic comforts or happiness, and they still think theyre doing you a noble favor by making you like themselves. ffs. guys. stop abusing your kids. stop.
“well guys, my autistic kid wouldnt stop pissing themselves so i just stopped buying diapers and made them sit on the toilet for 6 hours, and guess what, they use the toilet the Right way now! :)” “my kid wouldnt hug me or say i love you, so i held them down on the bed till they stopped fighting my affection! now we hug all the time!” “i took away my childs favorite item until they were able to verbally ask for it back. now they know how to say “please”. they must be SO much happier!” i need for you to listen to me right now. you are not fixing them. you are not HELPING THEM. you are breaking them into your neurotypical life like a pair of fucking tennis shoes. its for you. you are conditioning them, with trauma. the fact that you dont see that is a Disturbing display of how little you actually are trying to understand about your child’s life, or frankly anybody elses experiences besides yours. Leave them the fuck alone. you really wanna help your autistic kid fit into the world? dont punish them for stimming, tell ppl in public to stop fucking staring, bc it is their fucking problem. dont force your type of affection or communication, pay some fuckin attention and you’ll start noticing the ways in which THEY communicate with you, which is just as fine. and for the love of god my dude! buy diapers! they exist for a reason! just buy your fucking child their fucking diapers. ill kick your ass oh my God,
#tw ableism/ / /#actuallyautistic#autism moms#autism parenting#tw unsanitary ment/ // /#tw abuse ment/ //
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