#fuckgin happens and my body will give out due to stress at work and bc im not ufkcing taking care of myself and i get it!!!!!!!!
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#why is it that 3am exclusively is lovey dovey bitch hours and also 'i wish i were dead or of better use to my mom' hours#gghjkhmh like!!!! ok brain i get it its ffuckign impossible to make money/make a living off of the things i love/enjoy and this fuckgin#shit show of a country is in goddman shambles and im more likely to fuckgin die in the next year or so before all the good change actually#fuckgin happens and my body will give out due to stress at work and bc im not ufkcing taking care of myself and i get it!!!!!!!!#i ufkcing hate tht im like this constantly!!!!!!! i fuckign hate that im in such a fuckign in-between state that im practically ufkcing usel#ess and fuckign stupid and im so ufkcing tired i jsut wanna scream and ufkcing tear my hair out and beat the shit out of ymself cuz i deserv#e to have my shit kicked in for nto being enough and for nto doing enough and im so fucking frustrated with myself and in general#mmy mom ekeps bouncing between being a really sweet person/parent andn making me feel like absolute fucking trash andn im#just! really tire d of this in-between back n forth shit thats going on and i know shes havingn a rough week btu im hurting too cuz of it#andn im tired of the fucking' that s the way life is' excuse its such a fukcing flimsy and dumbass excuse andn i hate it im so tired#like i udndo if what im feeling counts as something or meanss anyhing/is valid for lack of better wording or if im jsut fucking#being stupid n dumb andn overrdramatic for the fuckign upteenth time bc im a stupid ufcking dumbass idiot thats just a waste of space
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