#fucked up seinen/josei series my beloved . . .

[kimbapisnotsushi]

i thought himitsu was going to be the most fucked up thing i’d ever read in my life but golden kamuy is coming in hot to tie with it

[bmpmp3]

i often, with very little seriousness, say that i prefer to read shoujo, josei, and the occasional seinen manga over anything from shounen magazines because even if they take a turn in quality, at least they will End within my lifetime HFKJSDHKDSHFD and this really is a joke: mostly as a way to combat the last 15 years of shounen elitists coming at me for liking things published in different magazines while also, in a slightly self deprecating way, pointing out how a lot of series in other magazine demographics usually either end at a natural stopping point or get canned unceremoniously with no conclusion (although shounen magazines are no stranger to the latter either LOL the nature of magazine publishing........) compared to just going on for hundreds of chapters after the quality took a nosedive

but make no mistake, despite how a lot (and i mean a LOT) of shoujosei is cancelled early before it can really start to get bad (or it gets trapped in an eternal hiatus because of magazine changes, or it just ends normally LOL), there are still plenty of series that went on way too long or struggled because of their length. some are worse than others: i remember Special A being solid but with a serious plateauing problem in like the latter half where it felt stagnant and boring (albeit not egregious or anger inducing or anything). but then theres other stuff like. hkjfdajhkgrlfjd. Peach Girl my beloved and beloathed <3 HHRJKFJRFEd and dont even talk to me about Vampire Knight or Black Bird. don't even say those words to me

and of course getting cancelled early can also give a series a great opportunity to fumble the bag horrendously in 3 chapters or less: one of my favourite shoujo manga of all time, Penguin Revolution, has an absolutely hilarious last chapter in that you can feel how much the author was like "SHIT FUCK I NEED TO WRAP THINGS UP RIGHT NOW" so hard that i cant even be mad about it LOL

and with that as a preamble: last night i finished reading A Devil and Her Love Song/Akuma to Love Song and well. um.,

quick TW: because of the topics that the manga touches on, I am going to talk a little bit about sexual assault, specifically sexual assault of a minor, and suicide. i will do it somewhat frankly because i want to take it seriously and not beat around the bush and i will do my best, but feel free to let me know if im off-base

SO the first half of the series is really solid, specifically with the characters. Maria in the beginning, especially with the bullying arc, was really engaging as someone so (intentionally or otherwise) neurodivergently coded. and The Boys: Shin and Yusuke were also really strong - moreso on Yusuke's end as like, a foil to Maria's complete inability to mask, Yusuke is like the king of masking. but even Shin, despite everything that comes later (and we'll get to that. by god we will get to that) was also interesting as like a foil in a different direction: a person resigned to his loneliness compared to Maria's drive to connect despite her struggles. And despite how sidelined the girls get, in theory I really loved Ayu and Tomoyo's connection to Maria and the whole squad as well (can't help but love a mean girl redeemed and a shy but secret goth kid respectively)

the series starts to take a turn for the worse after the new school bullying storyline and into the beginning of the Anna Situation. im gonna refer to this Anna, the friend of Maria's from her old catholic school who lost her voice as Anna (friend). it seems clunky but we'll come back to that LOL

i actually didn't hate the whole situation, i found Anna pretty compelling in her anger and resentment and even cruelty, and i was invested in seeing how her relationship with Maria would pan out. unfortunately she herself was basically forgotten about after she moves away to america and instead a lot of the situation was spent focusing on Shin's turmoil which was where his character started to. test me.

this is where Maria's backstory with her mother comes in: maria was born from the rape of her 14 year old mother, who then committed suicide with a preschooler Maria in her arms because of the turmoil and the way she and Maria were treated in the aftermath. this is. an absolutely unreal turn. really fucking dark and tough topic, but i had an inkling of hope! the series was handling its first like, 30 chapters with a surprising amount of care despite some clumsiness...

and the thing is i love a lot of stories that attempt to handle dark topics in loud, fumbling ways as long as theres a sense of compassion and honesty in it you know? and compassion and honest really is the thing, i actually prefer a messy but earnest story about dark and sad events compared to something that knows all the correct words to say while still dancing around serious topics (this is a problem i run into often in recent years. i think its a selfconciousness in storytelling that makes me feel like im being talked down to you know?)

but there is a difference between fumbling a bit an dropping the ball entirely. and MAN that ball was dropped HARD when you bring in the american soldier kidnapper and rapist of the main character's middleschool aged mother and try to turn him into some "redeemed" priest goofy crybaby dad character for the main character to forgive and reconnect with. but we'll get to that, i need to get back to shin

Shin learns from Anna (friend) about Maria's past and how Maria had forgotten it all because of the trauma, but may remember when she's held by others. not wanting to retraumatize her, and believing not remembering her past is what's best for her, he starts distancing himself from her. he also tells the other boys, the blonde bitches (Yusuke and Kurosu (we'll get to him later i prommy)) that have a crush on Maria as well about this, essentially deciding for Maria that she should never learn her past and attempting to control her relationships with other boys behind her back. THIS is intensely possessive and paternalistic WHICH in a vacuum COULD BE a really interesting, dark, but prescient and complex major character flaw to explore (especially in a story written for young women and girls like a manga serialized in Margaret would be). unfortunately the story never grapples with it, its framed like your classic possessive-but-like-in-a-sexy-fantasy-way despite being written in an incredibly embarassing and pathetic manner

like dear GOD i wanted nothing more than him to get some sense knocked into him by the blonde bitches. i LOVE a good character arc where a shojo manga love interest with possessive tendencies learns to respect his gf's autonomy its a classic!! especially with Maria's past, learning that helping someone with trauma means being there for her, not controlling her life behind her back! so much potential there

but alas. all we got was Shin hiding in the shadows from Maria for several volumes until, during an argument where Maria remembers her past and has a panic attack, he attempts to force himself on her and gets his hand hurt in the process. and. god. this is a shojo manga trope i Do Not Care For, honestly it is one of the few things that'll sour me complete on something:

the plotline where through a series of very bizarre circumstances the main love interest will sexually assault (or attempt to) the main character and then get really mopey about it (ouuhhhh im the baad guy how could i do thisssss i feel so sorrrrrrry for myself) and then the narrative will bend over backwards to say that UMMM ACTUALLY its okay the main character wasn't upset about that! it was something else! she didn't think it was rape!! she's cool with it!!! don't feel bad love interest guy!!! LITERALLY i hate it so much. the next several volumes spends so much time on Shin trying to make him feel better about his hand injury and how everything he did was okay because Maria loves him and it was PAINFUL so so frustrating

which brings me to the other guys, the blond bitches. Yusuke is mvp we know this, especially in the early volumes. but after he realized maria's in love with Shin no matter what and he has no chance, he also becomes frustrating because all his edges get sanded off, he's still a wonderful friend to Maria (although he unfortunately drinks Shin's koolaid and also hides her past from her) but he completely stops pushing Shin to be better which makes both characters worse. he was so interesting as the king of masking, such a relatable character type but MAN things went downhill

earlier in the series before Shin tries to push himself on Maria and I was still a bit sympathetic to him, i was thinking like damn. Maria should just get with Shin because she likes him but also setup a polycule where the two blonde bitches can orbit around and keep shin in check LOL

and kurosu. im going back to kurosu finally. a third anime boy has hit the love triangle. hes contentious for very valid reasons but the thing is. i kinda liked him? OKAY okay he has serious SERIOUS personal space issues which were played a little too much for laughs and we'll get to his relationship with Maria's father in a moment but i couldnt help but relate to a big dumb seemingly outgoing but still distant kid who talks too much about horny shit. Yusuke is just like me fr but. also. Kurosu is just like me (idiot highschooler edition) frrrrrrrrrrrrrr sorry i do see a bit of myself in him. hell i even see a bit of myself (dumb possessive middleschooler edition) in the earlier versions of Shin (before you know. he went off the rails), and i think thats whats so frustrating: these characters start with ideas that are ALMOST relatable and intriguing character flaws and then it just descends into madness

and back on kurosu's relationship with Maria's biological father, it is pretty fucked that he hides the fact that he knows Maria is the daughter of the child his adoptive father figure raped for so long, and its especially fucked he brought Maria to the church where maria's bio dad is now a priest taking care of orphans as like a way to "reunite" them and show that "he's changed" and such, but this is really a problem less with the characters and more with the way the story's themes are coalescing in general. The character of Kurosu himself was quite interesting as like a foil to the foils of maria and yusuke, simultaneously really good at masking while also not being good at ALL. and I loved that he got on Shin's case to stop being so possessive and weird about maria. And not to be all "he's literally neurodivergent and a minor" but i can't get all that mad at a 15 year old who (as revealed really quickly in a random chapter near the end) who had to leave his abusive father and scared abused mother under really traumatic circumstances and then suddenly was taken in by a seemingly kind priest trying so hard to defend said priest. i think theres something very compelling and emotionally resonant there: grappling with the the fact that someone you love, someone who treats you with such kindness, someone who you think saved you even, could have been so cruel to your other loved ones.

i know i have a bajillion experiences like that (much smaller scale things like finding out a person who was nice to u is bullying others, or more serious things. im sure im not the only one who's got crazy shit happening with cousins and aunties and uncles and such). like it changes things: you can't just sit idle about it, but you also don't have the authority to confront anyone, you can't go back to the way things were before and there's an irreparable distance between you, but you don't know how to move forward other than letting that distance grow. I think theres something here!!! but unfortunately, the series as a whole was largely uninterested with anything other than turning the main character's mother's rapist into a doting father type character out of nowhere, treating the aforementioned rape as if it was just a little "mistake"

when i read or watch something and i have a very strong reaction to it, good or bad, i often like to look at reviews afterwards. a lot of people seem to think theres no reason to look at reviews if you already have your own opinion, but i personally find them really helpful to get new perspectives and sometimes find catharsis with others with similar perspectives to mind. and so i was looking at some fan reviews and this review's first line killed me

THEYRE NOT WRONG the full sentence is "This story really reminds me of Usagi Drop, just for the way that the ending butchers my enjoyment fo the entire series" which is VERY true, but also its very true more specifically n the sense of WHY on gods green earth is this series trying to frame the rape of a young teenager as a romantic thing (albeit in akuma to love song's case the circumstances are less grooming and more violence, which just makes it bizarre in a different way). but this person's review is great, it just puts the problems with the series in such a succinct way: it swiftly turns from a decent little drama about teenagers learning to grapple with communication into Rape Apologia: The Manga.

all in all i think the big problem with akuma to love song is how much the story is just uninterested in the topics it brings up. its not a matter of taking on tough subject matter and handling it in a slightly clumsy way, its a matter of taking on tough subject matter and then trying to tie it all up in a neat little black and white bow. the series best part of the series, which is kind of seen in the section where all the kids go to the beach together, is when the characters try to learn to communicate and be honest with eachother despite their difficulties. but that was forgotten and thrown away for some very bizarrely cruel melodrama, brushing aside one of the biggest victims: Anna (mother), the girl who was assaulted and the abandoned by all her loved ones in the process. a teenage girl alone with just a toddler. a character the series had no interest in, not her life or thoughts or agency. really depressing

also yeah maria's teenage mother has the same name (and looks???) as one of her former best friends. and you know. thats what got me kind of thinking. with how much Anna (friend) was like completely forgotten about. i honestly wonder how the writing for this series went. this is why ive been so frustrated after all, its highs are so good but its lows are so so SO disastrous. it appears to have been in a biweekly version of Margaret, im unsure if it was published in every issue though. if it was, maybe rushing to get out something every two weeks was in part to blame for how downhill the writing got? i dont think manga should be published more than once a month at most, i think its unethical working conditions for the sake of a worse product and its bad for everyone involved.

and i know its not really considered standard in art and media criticism to focus so much on the working conditions and mindset the author was in while creating. looking at art as itself divorced from its circumstances and death of the author (as in the actual essay meaning like the author is not god and the intended interpretation is no more or less important than the audiences) and so on and so forth. but i can't help it ive always been like this LOL if something bad i wonder how the creator felt creating it....

but anyway. now. one thing i will give the series: they did not randomly pair off the remaining ensemble cast at the end. one thing about shoujo manga, especially from the 2000s is that if there are an equal number of boys and girls, they will be unceremoniously split into couples by the end regardless of how compatible they are HJKDLDHFJKD i was so scared when i realized there were three boys and maria had two gal pals. i was so scared. but we were spared from that at least orz

i do want you to know something though. despite all my criticism, the thing about this all: i love garbage. i love trash. i will read like anything even if its bad as long as i think i can get SOMETHING out of it. even if that something is just "wow that was bad". do you remember the aforementioned Black Bird? what did i get out of that? i dunno, probably just something absolutely crazy to read in a public library as a 17 year old LOL. i love garbage melodramatic soap opera bullshit so much

but i think what frustrated me so much about akuma to love song, as mentioned before, is that it was like. genuinely really good! in some parts! its the potential that is killing me i think. its one thing to read some big dumb and questionable melodrama knowing what youre getting into in the first few chapters, and its another thing to start out written with such emotional intelligence only to take a complete and utter nosedive so dramatically

is this how shounen manga readers feel all the time. dear god.

but well. i guess i still got something out of 90 chapters of this. a really strong start. some good art. and a what-not-to-do manual for the latter half