#fuck. there's actually something *really* wrong with me.

[fawnsflowerbed]

RE: DI Leon trying to do a smut/sex hardcore scenario with his partner but that man is too soft after years on the job. And you’re his sweet baby and he keeps checking in whispering ‘what’s your light, sweetie?’ And every time you say green and he does that little mumble of ‘okay good’ before proceeding.

Like don’t get me wrong, that man FUCKS, hands pinning you down and throwing you about, manhandling you the way you like. Deep groaning voice all condescending as he tells you ‘You can hold it a second longer, baby. Do it for me, come on.’

But if it’s something more adventurous he’s constantly staring at you through whatever smug smirk he has on with those crinkled baby blue eyes thinking ‘this is hot as fuck I’m hard as a rock but I really hope they’re actually enjoying this too or I’m gonna kill myself out of guilt’

That’s not an overstatement, he probably would knowing him

[avelera]

So apparently, Fortiche shared concept art where Jayce's Hexcorization in the cave would extend all the way to his face:

And this is really interesting to me from a narrative perspective, here's why:

Much of S2 Jayce's arc is incredibly... punitive. Like, he is really being punished step by step for everything he did wrong in S1. From Renni terrorizing and almost killing him for the death of her son, to Viktor leaving him "for another woman" (the Hexcore as represented by Sky) much like Jayce left him for politics as represented by Mel, there's really a sense of the narrative not only tearing Jayce down to his bare essentials (something that's very common for TV writing to do, by the way, it's very common that you want to see characters reduced down to who they are for their "long night of the soul" moment before they learn the lessons of what they really stand for before going into the climax armed with those lessons), but Jayce's time in the cave really goes even further than that and not only does S2 take away his political career, his Hextech ambitions, his state as someone able-bodied, much of his strength, and certain other gifts, it looks like in this draft they considered taking away his beauty too.

I think it would have been interesting either way if they had, but I want to dive into the narrative structure of action and punishment in Arcane, why Hexcorizing Jayce's face might have been a step too far and not really addressed a lesson he needed to learn, and my thoughts on punitive character arcs in general in Arcane (or lack thereof), specifically with regards to Jayce and Caitlyn.

I've mentioned elsewhere that I always found it interesting that much of the hate directed towards Jayce by the fans was for his perceived incompetence in difficult moments, rather than at how naturally gifted he seems to be at everything.

When I first watched S1 on my own, I thought Jayce was a bit unbearable because everything comes so easily to him (after Viktor becomes his partner and Hextech takes off as a result, that is). He is naturally beautiful, he's built like a god but doesn't appear to do any sort of exercise routine to maintain this other than working in the forge, he becomes the Man of Progress and rockstar of Piltover pretty much without trying, girls are literally sighing dreamily as he goes by.

He's also naturally a genius, from what we see, revolutionizing multiple industries with one invention. Even his rescue as a child is a literal miracle and it spurs him to create an invention that makes him a rockstar. When he enters politics, he immediately dominates, to the point where he's able to get a unanimous vote to overthrow the founder of the city within weeks of going there. Even in battle he's naturally gifted and naturally lucky during the raid of the Shimmer factory (up until the death of Renni's son), even though he has no prior skills as far as we know. He also wins the love of arguably the most beautiful woman in the series, again, seemingly without trying.

Then, S2 doesn't just take all of this away from him, it seems to go a step further into actually punishing Jayce for how easy and miraculous his life was in S1.

I'm of two minds about the Hexcorization reaching his face, but I have a hypothesis. I think it would have looked fucking rad but, I kinda get why they didn't do it:

Because Jayce's good looks are not something he can control, unlike the other things the narrative punishes him for.

Insofar as he can control his looks, he gives up on the clean-cut, immaculate "Golden Boy" image. Even in the idealized astral plane, he keeps most of the marks of his time in the pit like his hair and beard. I think it's because Jayce likes who he became down there. The clean-cut version of him was always the mask of him trying to please others, Jayce's appearance after he emerges from the cave is him shedding the opinions of others (contrast this with how Viktor idealizes himself in the astral plane, removing all marks of his illness. This isn't a criticism, just an interesting point of contrast).

So basically, my theory is Fortiche may have pulled back on Hexcorizing Jayce's face on the one hand to soften the visuals a bit, but secondly because it keeps the focus on punishing Jayce for things he chose to do, rather than things he doesn't really have control over.

But make no mistake, the narrative comes down hard on Jayce in S2, for every little thing the fans could and often did hate him for in S1. He pays for all of them, arguably in excess of what he maybe deserved, since as he says he didn't ask for any of this. But he did go along with it, and there's where the hammer of consequence (quite literally) comes down on him, tears away all his privileges, drags him down to literally the level of Viktor when he first left the undercity and says, "You have to do it all again but now focused on what really matters, and it's going to be ten times harder than it ever was."

This, in my opinion, is why Jayce is so popular coming out of S2. It is a hell of an arc, it's a hell of a redemption! You gave the man everything any man could want, then you took it all away, and then as his crowning moment of showing he has truly learned these lessons and made up for his mistakes, he makes possibly the most loving gesture possible, puts his weapons down, and reaches out to the person he loves most and literally sacrifices himself on the altar of his mistakes to make things right and show Viktor he is loved, and to protect Viktor from the horrifically lonely fate of his future self. It doesn't get any more noble, loving, or self-sacrificing than that.

Because more than we like to see a character punished we like to see them learn from their mistakes and come back better. Jayce's S2 nobility is earned, perhaps even to excess, no one can question whether he suffered enough to make up for what he did in S1 but even the most uncharitable read of him in S1, his biggest hater, would have to agree his time spent starving to death in agony, alone in that cave for months, has got to be just about the worst punishment a human can face and live.

Which is one reason I must add that I find it a little puzzling that Arcane's creators didn't predict the hate that Caitlyn would get in S2.

Keep in mind, because this is very important, the Arcane creators did not make S2 in response to fan reactions to S1. S2 was already in production and the script was locked in and done before anyone outside their organizations saw S1. So nothing that happens in S2 is as a result of fan response.

But, the creators did understand that Jayce was going to need to suffer narrative punishment for what he did in S1 in order to be redeemed, whether they predicted how hated he would be after S1, they did predict that redemption would be necessary. And boy-howdy, did they give him a hell of a redemption arc!

But Caitlyn's S2 actions are almost in lock-step similar to Jayce's S1 actions, being manipulated (by a Medarda!) into accepting power, but maybe not having a choice in the matter, but still maybe expanding that power on their own because it is useful in its own right. Caitlyn also makes terrible mistakes. A child doesn't die but people in the undercity do get hurt during her rage-fuled raids, even if most of them are mob bosses and their goons. The narrative asks, does that make it right? Caitlyn like Jayce hurts the person closest to her who is from the undercity and uses bigoted language against the people of the undercity to Vi's face in much the same way that Jayce did to Viktor on the bridge, though in Jayce's defense, he apologized immediately after.

So, seeing how hated Jayce was coming out of S1, to the point where there's still barely any merchandise of him, I'm shaking my head rather ruefully that there was so much merch made for Caitlyn this time around. And I get it! Caitlyn and Vi were very popular after S1, they are intentionally THE main romance of the show and it was a very popular romance coming out of the innocence of their meet cute in S1.

But it's a romance that dearly needed a longer third act if you wanted Caitlyn to be as embraced after her mistakes as Jayce was after making up for his all through S2. You need to give her as long or at least as in-depth of a redemption act with as much suffering and acknowledgment of her mistakes if you want Vi and Caitlyn at the end to get celebrated the way Jayce making it up to Viktor is, because as much as I understand the choice to focus on pacing instead of exposition, and I do think Caitlyn's apology and realization of her mistakes are there on the page more than people complain, I do also agree that it is a bit "blink and you'll miss it" even if it's there. Jayce got a whole episode of being thrown into the Torment Nexus for his mistakes, real or imagined, if you didn't like him or his choices, you definitely got the sadistic glee of watching life kick the stuffing out of him for what he did in S1.

But besides her fight with Ambessa, which was a result of a confluence of many events in the story, not just Caitlyn's mistakes, Caitlyn doesn't really suffer much for the mistakes she made to those she loves. Her losing an eye to Ambessa didn't happen because she said bigoted things to Vi or became a short-term puppet dictator of Piltover. It was a result of Ambessa's actions and maneuvering more than it was a result of Caitlyn's personal mistakes to her loved ones.

In contrast, Jayce's time in the pit gave him the chance to reflect on and suffer for the the mistakes he made that led to the Anomaly that led to him being down in this pit, and what he would do to make it up to his loved ones like Viktor when he returned. Caitlyn never got a moment like that and from what I'm seeing of the vitriol directed towards her, so similar to what Jayce got after S1, it seems like she really needed it if we were going to like her to the same extent again, in a way uncomplicated by lingering questions about whether she ever truly learned the lessons her character needed to learn to grow as a person.

And it's just funny to me that a narrative that was so aware that this whole huge punishment arc was needed to rehabilitate Jayce wasn't aware that we'd need one for Caitlyn too, at least if they're going to move all that merch they made for her (please give us Jayce merch, Riot, I'm begging).

[mr-tony-stark]

Tony frowned and nodded.  “I get it.  But I don’t know, there was something then, when you got on your knee like you were begging me.  I don’t know.  It really feels like I’ve fucked up in some big way.  Not that you’re mad at me.  But I’ve made you scared that I’m going to just run on you if you do or say the wrong thing.”

He took Clint’s hands and lifted them to his lips, kissing them and rubbing his cheeks on them.  “I’m not going to lie.  I do still feel like I’m going to do something that’ll turn you off me.  But that’s on me not you.  You can do what you want.  When we had that fight, it’s because I fucked up big and you were mad.  And justifiably.  But I thought that was it.  That you were done with me.  I still can’t quite believe that wasn’t the thing, but we’re here and I trust you.  I love you.”

He shook his head.  “I don’t want to go too fast.  But I’m making commitments.  The lab is a big one.  And I like this.  I like us.  I just need to figure out the balance between work and here because I don’t want that thing I’m scared of to be me never actually being here.”  He caressed Clint’s hair.  “I’m not going anywhere.  I love you.”

“Seeing a lot of places with you definitely does sound good,” he spoke and smiled a bit and kissed back before he wrinkles his eyebrows a little bit. He wasn’t *unsure* of Tony’s commitment, but he was worried that a commitment like this was to much for him so soon.

Ever since their first real fight aswell when he was so sure Clint would leave just because they were annoyed at each other and had a disagreement made Clint want.. no *need* Tony to know that, it’s not how it works. “Tony, it’s not like that,” he spoke gently. “I just don’t want to scare you off,” he spoke honestly. “I know how unsure you where in the start and how easy you thought I would leave you and I just—“ he took a breath. “I really don’t want you to feel that way.”

[mayanneaa]

always and (not) forever - ʀᴀꜰᴇ ᴄᴀᴍᴇʀᴏɴ.

PAIRING : rafe cameron x reader

SUMMARY : rafe breaks up with you right after you get accepted to stanford university.

WARNING(S) : angst, swearing, not really proofread

A/N : can you tell i just watched to all the boys: always and forever? (divider by @roseraris )

WC : 0.7k

masterlist.

Your heart’s pounding more and more as you click on the email you just got.

It’s late at night, only the crickets outside accompanying your growing emancipation. You squeeze the hem of your pajama shirt, biting your lip almost to blood.

This is the moment you’ve been waiting for forever— the week of acceptance letters from Stanford.

You can’t really remember when exactly you decided that a university across the whole country was good for you. It just… happened.

Your boyfriend, Rafe, wasn’t particularly excited for you to study so far away since he wanted to go to the one in-state. You managed to convince him that you’ll be well.

The email is long, but after the first words, you don’t even bother reading more. You got in.

A scream escapes your lips, quickly muffled by your hands. You sit there wide-eyed, the faint light of your laptop’s screen falling on your face.

“Oh my God.”

You immediately grab your phone, trembling fingers dialing Rafe’s number. He answers faster than the first ding.

“What’s up, baby?” His voice’s a little raspy and low as if he was falling asleep.

“I got into Stanford,” you whisper, the words feeling unreal once they leave your mouth. “Can you believe it, Rafe?”

There’s a silence, followed by a hum. “That’s… great. I mean, you’re happy, right?”

“Yeah, of course!”

There’s a silence— a moment where you can let your emotions cool off a bit, followed by Rafe clearing his throat.

“Actually… Can we meet?”

You knit your eyebrows. His voice is steady but distant. Something you haven’t heard in a while. “Like, right now?”

Rafe hums in response, and you feel the confusion bubbling up. “Well, if you want to you can come over, but be quiet. My parents are asleep.”

“I’ll be there in five.”

You hang up the phone, your hand lingering as you glance at the laptop screen.

Was Rafe overthinking this whole ‘distance’ thing once again?

You’ve already told him a million times that it will work out. So why the sudden change of mind?

You slip your feet into your slippers and grab a hoodie you throw on on the stairs.

The light from Rafe’s motorcycle flashes through the windows, a quiet buzz filling the natural silence. You quickly open the door and get outside, a chilly breeze hitting your bare legs.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, crossing your arms on your chest.

Rafe takes off his helmet and looks at the ground. “I think we should break up before you go to Stanford.”

You grimace, scrunching your nose. “What are you talking about? Rafe, we’ve been through this. I know it’s hard to be this long distance, but we can do it—”

“No.” The word comes out of his mouth so quickly, you gasp under your breath. “Honestly, how do you see that? Going from what we are now, from me getting to your door in five fucking minutes to seeing each other once God knows how much time?”

“But… you agreed to that earlier…”

“I was wrong,” Rafe says as quietly as a whisper, his voice cracking. “I’m not going to watch it all fall apart in two, four, or even six months. It’s better if we just end it now.”

You squeeze your arms and clench your jaw so tight it almost hurts.

How dare he just stand there, not even looking at you, as your life seems to split in two?

“Don’t say that, Rafe. You don’t mean it…” You say, your voice is small, but you know better than this. Rafe doesn’t just say things.

“I do.”

Two words. Those two words were enough to let the tears pushing onto your eyelids fall.

“Are you serious? After all we’ve been through, you leave me because of some stupid belief that we will not make it?” You sigh, anger spilling out with each breath you take.

“Go, Rafe. I don’t want to see your face.”

He inhales sharply as if you just slapped him. Maybe you should’ve done that. Instead, you turn on your heels and storm into the house, not giving Rafe another glance.

All you hear is the engine running, and the quiet sound of your heart breaking.

taglist :

@amterasuu

[bluemerakis]

𝜗𝜚 ⋆⭒˚.⋆ ⌇FIRST BOT RELEASE ˚.⋆ ~

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𝚂𝙾𝙻𝙳𝙸𝙴𝚁 𝙱𝙾𝚈 X 𝙽𝙾𝙽-𝚂𝙼𝙾𝙺𝙴𝚁 .ᐟ 𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙴𝚁

⌖ based on the fic ── ❝ memory foam ❞

──── synopsis ۶ৎ soldier boy’s taken it upon himself to try and teach you how to roll a blunt, but he’s never been renowned for having patience—and when you’re testing him in all the wrong ways, he’s prepared to teach you a lesson you simply can’t ignore.

to immerse yourself in this slutty universe, click here. don’t be shy—please also drop me a follow on c.ai if you haven’t already .ᐟ

reblogs are deeply appreciated .ᐟ 𝜗𝜚 (my fragile ego said so)

edit: *clears throat awkwardly* so it’s come to my attention that bitch ass c.ai is not showing the bot……….. and so im gonna wait and see if it resolves or try and make another one (which i RLLY don’t wanna do). sorry yall this was a major moodkiller 😔.

edit 2: I UPDATED THE LINK AND IT SHOULD WORK NOW!!!

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an — if any links aren’t working, please LMK!!! i know what an ass c.ai can be. n e ways. this is my first ever bot—making it was scary. shitting my pants scary. i never wanna do this again scary (but i will bc i’m masochistic like that). IF IT SUCKS ASS IM SORRY. GO EASY ON ME,,, I WILL GET BETTER AS I LEARN. but this took so fucking long that i just need to pass it to the next person like a game of hot potato. so i hope you all enjoy this little freak of my making and i am really sorry for what may go down in the dms. my brows waggled as i typed that. ok bye. i love u all sm. actually GAS ME UPPP for following through bc bot making was something i thought i’d NEVER get to AND I DID ITTTT. ok back to ghost mode.

tags — @gibson-g1rl @bohemianblasphemy @fallbhind @angelicjackles @deansbbyx @titsout4jackles @starzify @ultravi0lence14 @honeyryewhiskey @floralscented @deansbeer @deansbbyx @figthoughts @dulcescorderitas @whisperingdaze @st4rmarley @bakugotypecrashout @jaydensluv @chi-raz @youdontknowe @misatxox @lixiesbrowniess @ilovedeanwinchester4 @soldiersgirl

[animentality]

I know x reader fans have always existed, and I don't generally mind them.

however I feel like the way they've overtaken fandom analysis/ shipping culture is an indication of the general decline of fandom communities.

they are normies, guys. I'm sorry.

it's not a slur, it's just a fact.

normies infiltrated fandom spaces because of covid.

they come in and just want to thirst after a particular character... and that's like. fine. of course it's fine it's always happened.

but they don't seem to actually care about the character being in character. nor does it really require any analysis of that character's motivations or story, or their relationship with others.

I know not everything HAS to relate to canon. like duh, we are here to make our own canon.

but come the fuck on. I go into a tag and it has a character tagged being some dommy daddy when that character is nothing like that in canon... and there's this line between making a character act a certain way bc that's your fetish, and completely ignoring who that character is entirely to the point where you could just replace their name with anyone else in any other show, and it wouldn't make a difference?

like that's... normie shit. it's people who do not think deeply or passionately about that media, it's just them having this surface level grasp of the physical attractiveness of the character.

and again. I'm not saying these people are stupid or whatever, just that the overabundance of this watered down ass content is an indicator of how much fandom has changed.

fans are not the socially awkward introverted queer voyeurs anymore, who enjoy fantasies and daydreaming about being someone else because of this disconnect with the self, or this fear of others that leads you to seek human connection in fiction.

they're the people who do just fine with other people ... and I'm not gatekeeping fandom from people who aren't socially awkward or anything.

but they come here, and they do shit like say you can't like this ship bc it's morally wrong .. you're not allowed to thirst after an 18 year old that makes you a pedophile... I'm 15 and I'm allowed to lust for Gojo but you a 25 year old woman, aren't allowed to write itafushi fanfiction.

go back to taxes and your job!!!

like that drives me fucking insane. these people want to insist they're not normies but they then go around insisting that being over 20 means you need to Work and Be a Normal Adult... bitch.

adults make fandoms. not you fucking children. you don't know how to build communities, you barely know how to make friends.

attacking people who like the same thing you do? is that what you think community building is?

oh this poor generation. anyway.

they come here and are disgusted by weird fetishes and obsessions. and by people sharing sexual headcanons or ideas about sexuality that make them uncomfortable because they've never ever been counter culture, they've never felt the need to go against the status quo.

they're cis straight girls/women mostly, whose mothers basically fuel the ya spicy romance booktok industry.

they're just younger and think it's trendier to be "in a fandom" than a fucking book club.

they're modern day bodice ripper fans... which again

would be so fucking fine, if they weren't doing the youth version of karening the fuck out.

and flooding the fandom with both hyper criticism of how you conduct your business AND an aggressive market for just imagining yourself with a character.

like fandom was originally just hyper passionate freaks.

they discussed movies and TV shows like life and death. they were fucking nuts but in the way where they needed to seek one another out, to share in this joyous sensation of being a freak obsessed with something beyond the point of reason.

now?

now it's like ... oh.

Sally from Bio thinks your love of Gaara is super creepy when you're 19. like what, are you a pedophile? why are you imagining him getting married to Naruto? are you a fucking pedophile who gets off to teens making out? they need to check your hard drive!!

like ok Sally.

ok.

I just think x reader is such a strong indicator of what kind of fan you are.

and if a fandom is mostly x reader... then it can't be that popular. it can't be a proper community.

how can it be?

it's as watered down and generic and bland as a marvel movie. it's stripped down of anything unique. it is pruned of controversy and humanity.

you are literally stripping yourself down into a non character.

you're not truly projecting yourself into a character, because the you that you read about is nothing. a placeholder. you are a passive observing robot who exists only in the form of a faceless and personality less entity.

and I don't get it.

what's the point then?

isn't fiction about realizing something about yourself or others

if your only manner of engaging is stripping yourself of personality... is it engagement at all?

or is it just more mindless consumption?

just watch law and order, man.

watch the good doctor or some shit on lifetime.

there's shows with passionate fanbases who theory craft and endlessly obsess with relationships and world building, and then there's shows with x reader only content and you know exactly why now.

[genericpuff]

Hey y'all, Episode 67 will be out as soon as it's ready. I'm not gonna lie, coming off the back of a crazy holiday season, I was hoping things were gonna get back on track with the update schedule, but the last 2-3 weeks have brought about a whole new whirlwind of issues:

I took our cat to the vet a few weeks ago to get him checked out (esp because he wasn't eating as much as usual and we wanted to make sure he wasn't sick). The usual vet we go to has become a shithole, the doctor we got was extremely unhelpful and every interaction I've had with other members of staff there has been confusing and unpleasant. After an hour of an appointment that was more uncomfortable than it should have been, we were out $700 which was absurd, even for usual vet fees. After I shared the more detailed version of this story with friends IRL, some of them mentioned that apparently this particular clinic (among others throughout Canada) was bought by an American company. So that certainly explains a lot -_-

Car broke down and that cost like $800 to fix. Thankfully wasn't as expensive as the fucks at Canadian Tire quoted us, but it was still another huge expense on top of the vet bill.

Our shop moved locations this weekend, which took a lot of time to both prepare for and finally pull off over the course of the last few weeks. My new booth is at least set up enough to tattoo but there's still a lot left to do to make it comfortable.

Now my cat is potentially developing jaundice (sign of liver failure) which lines up with his blood test results from the vet showing increased liver enzyme levels or something like that (but they were apparently not enough of an emergency for the vet to actually do anything about it). I booked with a different vet clinic but they can't get us in until the 20th. So I booked an appointment for today with the emergency vet up the road. I'm terrified for him, he's an old cat so it was inevitable that his health would start to turn, but other than his increasingly picky eating habits and signs of jaundice, he's still acting like himself and it's breaking my heart that he could be hiding his own symptoms. I really just do not need a pet death on top of everything else that's going wrong right now.

As for the episode itself, it's not even that long, but the set design is pretty detailed and in our attempts to create some 3D models for ourselves, it resulted in bugs that had to be fixed on the fly. Thankfully I think we've finally got it down (and it's a recurring location so it's not like it won't be useful to have again in the future) but overall the episode production just hasn't gone as smoothly as it could have compounded by everything else mentioned above.

None of these are excuses, just reasons that have justifiably required my attention. Depending on how the vet appointment goes, I'll try and stream later tonight so that folks can at least watch some of the drawing progress for this episode. Episode 67 will be out by next Saturday at the latest, assuming I'm not able to get it out in the next day or two.

I know I'm a broken record at this point, but I'm incredibly sorry for the wait and I appreciate your patience with me. I'm begging for things to calm down soon.

[princessmaeee]

Bisexual Lights _ P2

Hello Everyone ! So, even if no one Asked, I did another part for this story cause I wanted to explore it a Little bite more. So this part is shorter than the first one and content Less Smut, But still have it No worries. It talk more about how the reader feel after what happened in the first part and for the next part I think about focusing more on Nam Gyu since how this part end. So tell me what you taught of this part and if you want to be part of the TagList ! TW : Oral ( Female receiving ) - Fingering - Orgasm denial - Nam Gyu being a cunt and having a mental break down at the end - Language - No Squid game

The next morning, you woke up in Thanos’s Bed with Nam Gyu’s arms wrapped around your Body, his head resting on your chest. You smiled and gently removed some hair from his face. Why does that guy have to look so adorable when he’s asleeps ? Almost looking like a pure Angel, but dear lord he’s absolutely not. Nam Gyu can be really nice and protective with people he likes, but with the others, mostly everyone except Thanos and You, he’s Harsh and a real cunt. But it’s okay, that’s how you like your friend, especially when you can see him as vulnerable as he was last night. 

After giving a look at your phone, you gently push Nam Gyu from your body to be able to get out of the bed. He grunt and just turned around, still sleeping.

You made your way to the bathroom to go to the toilet and slowly remember really clearly what happened last night when you looked at yourself in the Mirror. Some light red appareard on your cheeks while you pass your fingers on the hundred red marks the guys have done On your body. Some were lights and others looked like bruises. Now you're gonna have to cover everything with makeup.

Getting out of the bathroom, you go to the kitchen, following the smell of the coffee. Once in the room, you found Thanos at the table with a lot of sheets around him and a Cup of black coffee. When he saw you entering the room, he smirked.

«-What some beautiful  colors you have on your Neck, senorita. -Shut Up, Thanos.»

You take a Mug in the cupboard, putting some hot coffee in it. You felt lost from last Night. Of course you were all High, but you never planned things to go that far. Thanos and Nam Gyu were your friends and nothing more. You just wanted to play a little bit with Nam Gyu to shut him up for once. You didn't think it would go that far. While you brew your coffee to make the cream and the sugar mix together, you feel Thanos Arms wrap your body as he rests his chin on your shoulder. 

«-Something’s wrong ? Asked your purple haired friend. -No. Everything’s fine.»

You lied, of course. You weren't really sure how you felt yet. You enjoyed everything that happened last night and nothing was forced. But what’s gonna happen next ? Was it just a one shot time ? Will things change between you three ? Did the guys enjoy it as much as you did ? You felt weird to have all those questions this early in the morning. Why did you even care ? You didn’t even fucked, it was just some nice forplay. Actually, they both kissed and touched you way better than your ex’s did. 

«-What happened between You and Nam Gyu after I went to bet ? -We had continued to make out and just jack each other off. »

You felt your cheeks fired up as you imagined it. Being between them, being touched by both of them, taking care of both of them, you liked it and somehow you wish it could happen again. As you remember Nam Gyu’s lips around your nipples, his nails in your skin as you grinded against him, Thanos Lips on your neck, his tongues between your legs, you felt some fire down there and you squeezed your tights.

«-Are you doing that often ? Both of you or just with other girls ? -Never. It was the first time for both of us, with each other. I don’t know if Nam Gyu tried with other people though. I personally did once or twice, but it was nothing compared to Last night. -What do you mean ? What was different ? -I don’t know, maybe our friendship ? We are pretty close to each other, alway together. You both sleep here often. I just felt like it was natural.»

The feeling was mutual and that’s why it scared you so much. The future of this friendship seems fuggy, cause it’s clear nothing will be like before after what happened last Night and you don’t know how you will handle it.

«-Have you enjoyed it ? He asked. »

Your breath stuck in your throat. The answer was easy, but saying it out loud could be a Mistake.

«-Yeah, I did, you answered with a soft, shaky voice. -So what’s the problem ?  -Nothing. I’m just still tired, you lied.»

Thanos grunt and turn you around, grip your ass and lift you up to sit you on the counter. His hands were now on each side of you as he locked his eyes in yours.

«-I know you too damn well. You lie. What is it ? -I don’t know, I guess I’m just afraid of what’s gonna be our friendship now… »

Thanos let a light laugh escape his lips before smirking at you.

«-It depend. What would you like our friendship to be ? »

His hands move to your knee, resting there as he still looks at you. You swallow the extra saliva in your mouth as your heart starts to beat faster in your chest. Your eyes were on your friend’s hands. His thumb gently caressing your skin, made you shiver. You bite your lower lip when the feeling between your thighs starts to get stronger.

«-I-...I don’t know, you manager to say -Lier.»

Thanos' hands rose higher until they got under his to-long-for-you-T-shirt-you-borrow-him, squeezing your thighs. You softly gasp. Fuck, now you was hungry for more of his touch. Your body is asking for it.

«-Say it. -What ? -Say that you want me to touch you and I will. »

You were hesitant. You clearly want to feel his touch again and even if your mind would not agree, your body says the complete opposite. But you don’t want to look too easy. Thanos’s your friend, you doubt he would judge you for this, but he’s still a Man.

Noticing your hesitation, Thanos starts to kiss your neck, teasing you more by squeezing your tights. His lips go to your jawline, the corner of your lips. You half opened as your breath was heavier. Your arousal dominated your body, making it almost painful. You could feel your cunt clench around absolutely nothing as it hoped to feel your Friend’s fingers inside.

«-Fuck it, you softly said in a breathe, please, Su-bong…touch me. »

That’s all he needed. That Soft, desperate voice of yours asking for him. He smiled and pressed his lips against yours. He spread your legs a little bit and let one of his hands slide between it. His thumb met your clit and he gently started to rub it, making you moan through the kiss. Your hips moved by their own, silently asking to have his fingers inside of you and he noticed. Pulling away from the kiss, Thanos catches his breath and kneels in front of you, spreading your legs more. You wrap them around his head when you feel his mouth on your clit, letting a louder moan  be heard and you quickly cover your mouth, not wanting to wake up Nam Gyu who was still asleep in the next room.

Thanos' mouth sucked and licked your sensitive bun of nerves, adding two of his fingers in your wet core. You felt your body melt under his touch as your muscles softened all their strength. You hand met his hair, gripping it harder as your pleasure built up inside you. His finger went at a different pace dépending on how your grip was on his hair, curling inside you, touching this soft and spongy spot who made you moan louder. 

«-That’s a pretty entertaining show you put on here, you two. »

You blushed when you noticed Nam Gyu, leaning against the kitchen entrance. Pulling Thano’s head, you try to make him stop, but he grunt and grip your tights harder as an order to stay in place. You felt his fingers entering you more brutally as a Warning and you gasp, letting a little painful whine escape you.

«-I think he doesn't mind me, Nam Gyu said, and I don't mind it at all. »

Your friend gets closer to you and hands you your phone.

«-You boss called, enough time to wake me up, so you should call him back. -Yeah… later, you managed to say. »

You were about to take your phone from Nam Gyu’s hand but he pulled it away, A devilish smile on his face.

«-Why Wait ? It’s maybe super important. »

He pressed on your boss' contact and put it on Speak. Your eyes opened wildling when you heard the ringtone. Thanos smiled against your core and pulled his lips away to look at you, moving only his fingers, slowly. Those guys can really be the worst bastard you ever met.

«-I hate you so much, you hissed while looking at Nam gyu, before you heard your boss' voice. -Y/N, I’m happy you called me back. I know you are on your day off, but I really need you to come to the office to finish the last project we worked on. The client wants it sooner. I’m sorry, it’s a last minute thing. »

Thanos looked at Nam Gyu with an amused Smile before going back between your legs, sucking more on your clits while his fingers going deeper in you. Nam Gyu, still holding your phone, pulls up your top, revealing your naked body.  His eyes roamed over it as he bite his lower lips.

«-Y-yeah… no problem I will come…»

You grip Thanos' hair harder as you feel your orgasm build up more and more as Thanos touch your sensitive Spot again and again with his fingers.

«-Fuck, you wissper, I will be there as soon as I can. -Excellent, you’re a lifesaver. »

And the call ended. Nam Gyu dropped your phone on the counter, still looking at your body, his own arousal started to be painful in his pants. 

«-Fuck, you’re so hot like this, he said with his eyes still on you.»

Still with his annoying little cunt smile, Nam Gyu gives a little tap on Thano’s shoulder.

«-Bro, let her go, She have to leave for Work and I bet she needs to pass by her place before.»

Thanos pulled away as you were so close to the release, making you whine.

«-No… Thanos, please… I was so close… -Yeah I know, but I don't want you to arrive too late at work, he answered as he removed his fingers.»

You grunt, unsatisfied and look at Nam Gyu.

«-Why do you have to be such a Cunt ? -Just a little payback for last Night. I hate when people play with me like you did.»

His Smile never left his face and you felt more annoyed by it. Getting down off the counter and taking back your phone, You got closer to your black haired friend.

«-You’re just mad cause you know how much you liked it. And maybe you’re jealous Thanos was taking care of me this morning and you weren’t part of it this time ? »

His expression changed to something darker. You knew you touched his weak spot. As much as he tries to convince himself he has no feelings for Thanos, deep down you both Know how much Nam Gyu cares for him more than any other person. He also cares for you, when he’s not a pain in your ass. His hand came to your throat, gripping it harshly as he brought you closer. 

«-Watch your mouth or I will put it to good use next time. -You fucking Wish. »

He grunt and let you go. You left the kitchen to go get your clothes from last night and Pull it back before you leave Thano’s apartment, still mad about what just happened and still full of questions about your friendship with them. Maybe you're gonna need time to think about it.

Once you have left, Nam Gyu Sight heavily. You really play on his nerves with your attitude. Pulling his hair out of his face, he take the mug of coffee you had initially made for you and take a Sip of it.

«-That bitch, I swear she plays on my nerves. -Maybe a Good fuck with her could help both of you. -No thank You, I already have all the Bitch I want at the club. I don’t need a new one. »

Thanos goes back to his seat at the table and lights up a cigarette.

«-But Y/N is not just a Bitch. She’s our friend and you can call her all the names you want, I know you like her. Cause if it weren’t the case, even High, you wouldn't let her have seen that soft and submissive part of you that you showed last night. »

Out of Anger, Nam Gyu threw the mug of Coffee against the wall Behind Thanos, Breaking the mug in many pieces.He didn’t know why that affected him like this, but all that happened last night felt like it shouldn't to him. He lost control, he let his emotions lead his action and He hated that. And even if he liked it, he couldn’t accept it.

«-Nothing happened Last Night ! We were just high and that was it. I don’t want to ear another fucking thing about this ever again ! »

Thanos was surprised by his friend's reaction and just stayed there, in silence. Nam Gyu’s body was trembling as he started to sweat. Grunting he took a deep breath and passed his hand in his hair to place them, trying to calm himself. He’s often like this without drugs in his system, but he never let Thanos or Y/N see him like this, unable to control his emotions.

«-Forget about Last Night. »

That was the last thing he said before leaving his best friend’s apartment.

[corviiids]

sparknotes for "fix your eyes" the 2/2 akeshu fic

as always dont read this if you havent read the fic it wont make any sense, also p5r spoilers obviously but i think the boat's sailed on that one. happy 2/2, the holiday where goro akechi dies and i celebrate by killing ren. fuck yeah.

i guess the overarching question in this fic is whether ren is real, or, like to what degree he is real? to an extent i want to leave it up to interpretation, but it's not nearly as ambiguous as i left it in my death note fic telltale. you can have your own take on this but fwiw my take is that ren is as real as goro is in canon third sem, which is to say he's real. he's behaving as himself. maruki isn't influencing his behaviour. (at least that's my intention.)

the main mirror to canon w this au is like... okay so in canon, akechi sacrifices himself for the thieves and then is brought back, and ren's big challenge is whether he can stand to lose akechi a second time. it's worse for ren because ren is the Hero, you know? so not only is akechi someone he failed to save, akechi is someone who gave himself up specifically so REN could live, something that ren (who likes to sacrifice himself for others) really struggles to live with. the idea of allowing akechi to sacrifice himself therefore becomes a huge problem for him.

in THIS fic though, akechi killed ren himself. so it's a different question. the actual choice is not between killing ren vs keeping him alive--it's that in november, akechi made the wrong choice. he did something he regrets. so now the onus is back on him, again, to choose again, and figure out which choice is right. killing ren was obviously the wrong thing to do by ren. now, although ren doesn't offer a view one way or the other, the implication is that ren does not want this reality, given ren was fighting maruki all month knowing he was dead. so the right thing to do arguably is to allow ren to die again, even though his death was a wrong that occurred already. this is the more painful choice for akechi to make because it's something he actively wishes didn't happen, but it would be the right thing by ren--so akechi's challenge is whether he can make the selfless choice this time having done wrong before.

that's why akechi in canon and ren in this fic react so differently. akechi has been robbed of his agency all his life, so he impresses his wishes very forcefully on ren: he refuses to live like this, so he insists that ren choose to let him die. whereas ren in this fic was robbed of his life by akechi choosing his fate for him. he knows akechi is now struggling with regretting his decision, so telling akechi to choose one way or the other would actually be more merciful. telling akechi to let him die would make it easier for akechi to do it, and ren refuses to take the burden off him. ren's saying, you chose for me last time and you chose wrong, so now im forcing you to choose again. and this time get it right.

i had a really fun time with akechi's voice in this fic because he's so unstable and just really irritable. he is not having a good time, and he's really unreliable as a result. i think he's really been at sea since he killed ren. sometimes you get everything you always wanted and it just fucking sucks. the whole time he's struggling with how much he wishes he'd failed. he wants ren back, doesn't deserve to have him back, want to spend time with him now that he is back and is also struggling with guilt and bemusement that ren is spending time with him at all. he manifests all of this as irritability because he's just not good at regulating himself.

one of the big things also is that akechi's internal narration calls ren 'amamiya' for almost the entire fic, because they just never got that close. more precisely, akechi doesn't feel he's able to consider ren that closely.

ren's behaviour in the fic is pretty inscrutable. like, it really doesn't make sense for ren to want akechi at all. i guess im making kind of a meta point with this more than i am making any point about ren's internal world. the point is mostly just to emphasise how little goro understands what's going on with ren here. this is a very unreliable narrator fic, something goro comments on himself.

(btw, the joke here is that latin is a dead language........ lmao)

shows thru in parts like this also, where goro kind of technically has a point and yet if this is the entirety of your worldview it's not only jaded it's also just kind of... incomplete. like, it's not wrong? ren's confidants are all like this, basically. and goro does then go on to say that though relationships START like this, they can't stay that way. but more than that, it shows how brittle goro's perspective is on social relationships. his distortions are pretty clear.

he also has this repeated refrain of nihilism the further it goes along lol

there are also a lot of these moments where ren clearly indicates he knows something is up, but akechi just misses them because he's so wrapped up in his own shit.

oh also backtracking a bit

the idea here being that kind of like how akechi will wait in kichijoji in third sem, ren's kind of become the kichijoji confidant and akechi's become the protagonist.

btw initially i had planned to write a more closed ending, or potentially a CYOA style double ending depending on which choice akechi makes? but ultimately i decided to leave it ambiguous.

i feel like there is definitely other stuff i wanted to say but i forgot it so i guess ill just add onto this post later if i think of it. anyway! thanks for reading! happy 2/2! <3

[ghostgirl-22]

would it be ok to ask for patrick x reader cockwarming…

Mmm yes anon absolutely!!

CW: 18+ NSFW. Um inappropriate work behavior, everyone is into it but a sexual harassment video would still tell you it was wrong, skewed power dynamics, no actual employees were sexually harassed in the making of this fic.

——

You’re an intern at his dad’s firm and you’re doing everything you can to be a good employee but then Patrick shows up to help prep for an important case. He’s there for two weeks while his dads away on a business trip. He’s not a real employee but he is a real nuisance. To you especially.

You really wanted to make a good impression. You’re kind of a people pleaser. He notices you right away. You wave at him trying to be oh so friendly, standing there looking so prim and proper, hair tied up so neatly, long legs in a pencil skirt that’s just a little too tight. Your white frilly blouse just a tiny bit see through. Make up neatly applied. The curves of your body unmissable no matter how professional you try to dress.

He flirts with you all through the first week. Teasing you for being such a good girl. Saying yes to everyone. Helping everyone with their work like the goody two shoes that you are. You can’t help it that the teasing makes you wet. He’s stupid charming and handsome. Gets all in your face in a way that makes you shy. “Would you say yes if I asked you to kiss me?” He asks, and boy do you say yes.

It escalates from there. He’s such a nuisance. Needs you in his dad’s office to help him dictate case notes. The whole time you’re kneeling on the floor under his desk with your mouth full. Just keeping him warm, till the end of the day when he bends you over the bosses desk and fucks your dripping cunt. He likes it so much the first day that it becomes your position for the rest of the week.

He likes to loosen your bun so that your shorter curls escape and fall into your eyes and he plays with them. He likes to take phone calls, talk to his friends about tennis, weekends in the Hamptons, and girls he wants to fuck. All while his cock hardens and twitches against your tongue and your eyes water for the size of it.

He’s got no shame. No fucking responsibilities outside of this and it doesn’t even matter if he fails because his dad is loaded and he’ll still get everything.

Sometimes he’ll take meetings, dick fully hard and no one aware that you’re under his desk. Coughing to hide it whenever he needs to moan just a bit. Occasionally he says nice things about you. How you’re so good at your job, you’re so professional and you’re really going places. Sometimes you want to touch yourself but he’ll nudge you with his foot to make you stop, cover the phone reciever and whisper, “No sweetie. You come when I tell you.”

It’s kinda hot.

Your micromanaging manager is looking all over for you but Patrick assures her that you’re busy with something important. All while he’s shoving his dick in you all afternoon. You’re riding him, shirt unbuttoned, skirt hiked up and he’s sucking on your bouncy tits, whispering, “Can you call me sir?”

“Yes sir.” You moan.

“Oh. You’re such a good employee. Employee of the month actually. You deserve a big fucking raise. You deserve it all baby.” He’s pushing up into you, knowing he’d come inside you even if you weren’t on birth control because your pussy feels that fucking good.

Then one evening you’re leaving his office disheveled, his come dripping thickly out of you while you’re pulling your dress down. Your pussy still twitching in aftershocks from the intensity of your last orgasm. To your surprise your manager stayed late to catch you on your way back to your desk. She’s there ready to write you up, calling you a whore and telling you you’ll never go anywhere in the company by sleeping your way to the top.

You panic and text Patrick that night and he texts back: dont worry sweetheart with a smiley emoji. But he’s rich. He’s got nothing to lose. You need this.

You worried for nothing. It’s Patrick’s last day as an intern. And surprisingly your manager has been transferred to an office across town. She accepted a raise and a new position and you’re now in her old position at double her salary. The lead attorney congratulates you for being “so good at your job and so eager to please. It certainly paid off.”

“See… told you not to worry,” Patrick says. Spoken like someone who’s never experienced a consequence in his life. But his dick is so big and he fucks you so good you can’t help thanking him. You spend the rest of the afternoon thanking him, while you sit with his dick warming inside you, writing briefs at your desk in your new office.

(Is this realistic? Nah. But I don’t think y’all are paying me for realism here lol. )

[drdemonprince]

Hey, thanks so much for your newest article about vanilla sex being coercive etc. It made me feel less like there's something wrong with me and my sexuality for having very clear needs and wants and feeling like it's hard to find a dynamic that would fit me. I could not put my finger on why exactly the whole topic of sex is so hard for me.

Like yeah I'm asexual but also, I find it really repulsive when people assume my wants and needs based on my body type, my genitalia, my gender, my face, my personality, well, anything; and I don't know why I assumed there's something wrong with ME for being uncomfortable with that? It's just deeply uncomfortable. And the societal expectation of having to enjoy or want to do this set of vanilla sex activities is what makes it precisely hard to navigate; and the way people can make you feel like shit for not wanting it, like you're a bad partner, bad person etc. And with the layer of my transness it also gets idk so complicated.

I cope by liking masks, armours, full body suits and fantasizing about being able to fuck monsters because it feels like it would be free of gender stereotypes and expectations and any coercive behaviours, like I would be free to do anything and not be then labelled because of it and suddenly perceived differently and forced to uncomfortable shit. I'm idk very fluid, very switchy and hate being restricted with all this shit. But gods forbid you express once more interest in being more dom or sub or top/bottom and suddenly people's ability to see fluidity disappears and you're flattened into something you're not

So I would rather jack off than try to have sex with someone lol, it's all too much. But now at least I don't feel so much like there's something deeply wrong with me. And I won't settle for anything uncomfortable and restricting. Thank you

(sorry if I mixed any terms, english is not my first language and sometimes I get stuff mixed when speaking two languages on a daily basis)

Omg Anon I'm so happy <3. Thank you for your message. It's true, people project so many of their own desires and basic stereotypes about embodiment and identity onto our sexualities and it can be downright traumatic really. At best it's a complete wash of nonsense, a data dump of completely irrelevant fantasies and path dependence that makes it impossible to actually find a real human person through the din. I'm glad my work made you feel less like you are the problem. And being a knight or a creature sounds fucking cool and hot.

Here's the article for anyone who didn't see it btw

[bwat5-blog]

Continuing The Cycle

**Spoilers For Arcane**

Let me say to begin with, that nothing in this post is to downplay or brush off Piltover's oppression of Zaun. There will be some who read that and still scream at me, that's okay. I just want to be clear.

Many people on here more insightful and intelligent than I have spoken on this already, but it has been sticking with me lately so I wanted to get my thoughts out.

I have been quite free with dismantling some of the inane attempts at criticism of Arcane in this space. But, I promise I do actually understand everyone is entitled to their opinion. After all, how we connect with and understand art on an individual level is one of the things that make it so special. I have never, and will never come for someone who is simply stating their honest opinion based on the actual content in a respectful manner.

Where my issues come in, have to do with these wide-spread critiques/takes/stances that so directly undermine the meaning of the narrative they are best ignorant and at worst malicious. And more often than not rely on omission of details that negates their stance, or fabrication of details to support them. To that end, what I am discussing today is the black and white thinking that has permeated the fandom, poisoning understanding and appreciation of all corners of that narrative.

LET'S JUST GET IT OUT OF THE WAY:

*Before we get into the Arcane content, we need to discuss where a lot of this is coming from. I am just gonna get this out here right now, and there are some people who are gonna keel over reading it but if you are one of those folks I might as well not waste your time*

Arcane is not the Israeli–Palestinian conflict.

It could not be more clear that this is where a lot of this is coming from. Let me be explicitly clear, this is NOT a deep-dive or analysis of this conflict. This thing is immensely complicated . If you comment here with a "IT IS NOT COMPLICATED ITS" sort of comment I'm sorry to tell you but you are wrong. The modern phase of this has origins as far back as the late nineteenth century and there is more going back even further. I don't care if its a straight fucking line. Something going back that far has more to it than the average nerd like me is qualified to speak on. Now, that being said, I do understand to a degree why this is happening. Not like this conflict has ever really been settled but in the last few years especially things have really been active and generating a degree of media content I don't remember seeing this level of in my short 32 years. So in a world where everyone (myself included) is so plugged in and enveloped by social media, a lot of us are getting a more direct look at this than we really ever have. And we analyze and connect with art through the lens of the world around us to a point. But we CANNOT do so exclusively. Trying to force a narrative into a one-to-one comparison robs it of a tremendous amount of meaning. Because no matter how complex and intricate this story actually can be. IT IS NOT REALITY. I'm not getting into it here, that would be pages and pages of writing and I'm here to talk about Arcane. But I'm going to say this because it applies to real life and the show both and will take us into my actual point today.

The idea that anyone on one side must always be good and justified simply because they are the oppressed, while the other must always be evil, is juvenile, naïve, and fails to grasp even a fraction of the complexity of human nature

Some of you are going to have an absolute seizure reading me say that that statement applies to real life as well. I don't care. It takes time, maturity, and meeting people from all walks of life to understand things are not so simple.

BACK TO ARCANE:

But, that being said time to get back to business. How does this all apply to Arcane?

"The show should have ended with a civil war between Zaun and Piltover!"

"When Zaun arrived during the last battle Jinx should have unloaded on the Enforcers and the Noxians both!"

"They ruined Jinx's character! WTF do you mean she apologized for killing Caitlyn's mother? Her mom was part of the oppressive system that ruined Jinx's life and brought it on herself!"

"Silco did bad things but it was all to gain power to protect Zaun!"

"Poor little rich girl lost her mom and acts like it's a reason to punish an entire city with warcrimes. The people of Zaun have been suffering worse for their entire history"

"Rebel Vi I miss you! How dare they make you care about people in Piltover!"

"The coward show runners made Zaunites into boot-lickers fighting for Piltover wearing Enforcer armor at the end!"

You get the idea. I have seen variations of these and many more time and time again. Zaun should have let Piltover fall or even attacked themselves. Caitlyn deserved everything done to her because she's of the Piltovan elite. Every terrible thing Jinx or Silco did was totally and completely justified because of Piltovan oppression.

Now there are many angles I could come at this from. My usual one is simply addressing the astounding lack of logic in most of these sorts of arguments. For example, I can rope all of the people saying Zaun should have let Piltover fall into one category. People who forgot about this guy:

Like he was just gonna "evolve" Piltover than call it a day and zoot off into space with his new buddies. Obviously not and the idea that he wouldn't immediately take Zaun as well then keep moving is completely laughable. But this sort of thing isn't my issue today. My issue is that those so zealously insisting the the show should have continued on a path of hate, death and destruction are completely missing the point.

I titled this continuing the cycle for a reason. So much of this show, revolves around this concept of the cycle of violence. Those who keep it going, those who suffer from it, and those who break it. And the issue I'm finding is that a tremendous amount of people have seemingly decided that anything people from Zaun do is justified, and anything people from Piltover do is not. When in fact, where they are born is irrelevant in this context. Because each and everyone of them has the choice to further the cycle, or to walk away.

Silco & Vander:

Vander continued the cycle when instead of forgiving Silco for his part (whatever it may have been, we never really get the whole story) in Felicia's death he tried to kill him. And Silco did the same when he took his revenge instead of walking away ending not only the life of the man who wronged him, but causing the deaths of two teenage boys, trying to have Vi killed and causing her imprisonment altering her life forever, and taking Powder as his own after obliterating her second family altering her life and the lives of all those she would hurt through her actions as well.

Caitlyn:

In Caitlyn we see all three. She was an admittedly naïve but well-meaning young woman who was victimized terribly by cycle of violence around all for thinking she could help. We then watch her heart-breaking transformation into being a part of it allowing her hate and pain to warp her into someone dark and vengeful. Then finally we see her laying down the hate for her mothers killer in favor of her love for the woman who means everything to her. Stepping outside of it and turning her back on that violence.

There are of course other examples. Jinx walking away, Ambessa choosing to continue the bloodshed even with her last child begging her to stop. the list goes on. My point in discussing this is that it doesn't matter where they come from. Characters from all over this story play a part both good and bad in the events that occur. And to properly appreciate and understand this tale and what it is saying we MUST recognize that.

Yes Silco was a Zaunite. No Silco was not justified in unleashing Shimmer on his own people. He was a revolutionary once, but he lost his way. In the end he died a violent drug lord who exploited his people for his own gain. He was not a hero.

Yes Jinx is a Zaunite. No, Jinx attacking the council was not a noble strike for her people against oppression. She was a terrified, mentally ill, grieving and angry young woman who lashed out in a moment of awful pain. And in doing guaranteed Piltovan oppression against her people. .

Yes, Heimerdinger was the father of Piltover and his neglect caused terrible problems for everyone. He also gave his life for a Zaunite rebel commander to help get him home. (I understand in the lore he's probably alive but we haven't seen that yet and they have for sure diverged so it isn't a guarantee)

Yes, Caitlyn Kiramman is the daughter of one of the high houses of Piltover, and played a part of the people of Zaun suffering under Ambessa's manipulations and cruelty. She also gave the leader of the Firelights the gemstone she was so determined to return, stood side-by-side with Vi and told the council to their faces they failed Zaun, and put her own body on the line to make things right against Ambessa.

And that isn't to say that any of those characters were all good or all bad. It's to say that they all are capable of both. Just like every character. To slap a Zaun sticker on Silco and a Piltover (or cop as so many of you are fond of) sticker on Caitlyn and give them a pass or not for everything they do based on that is simplistic and ignorant. These characters have so much to them that to reduce them to these easily digestible bite-sized pieces is to deprive yourself of that true weight of this story.

All that said, lets take another look at a few items from that list from earlier:

"The show should have ended with a civil war between Zaun and Piltover!"// At the moment where all of humanity was at stake, people came together and fought side by side to quite literally save the world

"They ruined Jinx's character! WTF do you mean she apologized for killing Caitlyn's mother? Her mom was part of the oppressive system that ruined Jinx's life and brought it on herself!"// In a moment of pain and clarity Jinx found herself speaking to someone she realized she horribly wronged. Someone who had been twisted into something dark and violent by pain and grief, a feeling Jinx knew all too well. So she said the most she could, it isn't a direct apology. But her remorse is clear. "

"When Zaun arrived during the last battle Jinx should have unloaded on the Enforcers and the Noxians both!"// Jinx went from someone hated and feared, who felt like she had nothing to offer anyone, who felt like she had failed or killed everyone who loved her, to riding into battle leading her people and bearing symbols of her loved ones into the war for all mankind. And although I and most agree she's alive, the last act we know she for sure that she took was to save the life of the older sister who loved her so much in her most dire moment. If she did die, Jinx died a hero.

CLOSING WORDS:

Arcane is many things. But it's humanity is its heart. I've said it many times and many ways, but good stories... in this case great stories matter. They stick with us. Because long after the giant battles, the wolf monsters, and shiny blue magic rocks have faded, its the humanity you remember. The sisters fighting desperately to hold on to each-other in a world determined to rip them apart. The lovers from different worlds finding hope in each-others arms. Brothers betraying one another, a daughter having to take her mothers life, the list goes on. But when we rob these characters and this story of all of that, when the flash is gone, what's left?

I haven't done a long one in a bit and I feel like this is a bit rambling so I apologize. To those who take time out of their day to read anything I have to say I appreciate you more than you know. Feel free to share your thoughts! I love discussing this show. And in closing will leave you with one of my favorite quotes.

“It's like the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad has happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines, it'll shine out the clearer. I know now folks in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something. That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for"

- JRR Tolkien

[genderqueerdykes]

Really appreciate this blog and what it shares. Got into an arguement with someone who was a transfem TIRF (didn’t realize that was even a thing at the time lmao) and it left me feeling really upset due to the both gross ways she’d talked about trans men and the fact that she got a lot of support in the notes. So coming here and seeing in fact most people love and care about us transmascs is nice.

Won’t argue again next time I see an account like that cuz it’s kinda obvious people in those circles are prolly not getting out but yeah.

i am so sorry you had that experience. i'm glad you're advocating for yourself and choosing to not argue with that person again.

i honestly refuse to socialize with a person when i see them be that openly hateful with no attempts to change. i stopped talking to one of my old roommates after he started saying all kinds of transandrophobic shit, shitting on transmascs bodies and calling them gross because he's "gay" and could never be into vaginas or breasts. my ex (trans)gf literally fucking yelled at me for not wanting to be his friend after this. like actually fucking yelled at me numerous times. i asked her if she would be comfortable staying his friend if he was transmisogynistic toward her and told her her body was disgusting, and she said yeah of course, as if somehow that wouldn't cause her pain. nobody gave a flying fuck about how transandrophobia affects transmascs, so i said fuck all of you and stopped being their friends.

there are so many people who have gladly jumped on the rad fem train and it's so sad. that's no way to live your life. that's such a hateful ideology. rad feminism is nothing but hate. it's hate for yourself for being a woman because you equate womanhood to suffering. it's hate for other women because they're not women "right" like you are. it's hate for transmascs and trans men. it's hate for nonbinary people. it's hate for genderfluid people. it's hate for trans, nonbinary, genderqueer, genderfluid, gnc, bi, & pan lesbians. it's hate for butches who are men. for TIRFs in specific, it's hate for other trans people because they're "trans wrong". rad feminism is hatred all the way down no matter how you look at it. rad feminism will never be productive or progressive. it's about wallowing in your misery, mining for sympathy and pity, and crying about how you're powerless and defenseless instead of doing something about it. it's admitting defeat.

as a fellow transmasc, i'm just over it. i'm not gonna stew in self hatred. i had a friend who WAS transmasc who basically forced me to hate myself for being a trans man. always going on and on about how they hated certain transmascs and trans men, how they were "Whiny and entitled"... yikes dude. you can keep hating yourself over there, but i genuinely love being transmasc & a trans man. coming out as a trans man literally saved my fucking life. i was a depressed mess that hated myself before i came out. i've never loved myself more. and if someone else can't love what i love about myself? they're not worth my damn time.

i'm not here to throw transmascs under the bus just to kiss up to transfems to try to look progressive for brownie points. that shit is underhanded and dirty. we can support all trans people at once. we aren't football teams. you don't have to pit random queer identities against one another. we're on the same side. none of us are enemies. none.

thanks for taking the time to stop by! take care of yourself, i'm glad that i could help in any way. i am just OVER people forcing transmascs and trans men to hate themselves and exist solely to talk about trans women and transfems and nothing else. i am just over people making men and mascs feel like shit. it's done. it's over. i'm not participating, and neither are you. pack that shit up into a box, and throw it in the garbage. we're working together whether or not you like it. the only way we get out of this is together. our fight for liberation is NOT a crab bucket- you do NOT have to pull someone else down when you see them rise up and advocate for themselves.

[littlestsnicket]

random armand focused iwtv thoughts and headcanons with absolutely no fandom wank this time:

i think armand is actually probably a really good teacher. he was certainly successful at teaching louis to use the fire gift, and i think it dovetails nicely with his desire to provide service and his capacity for levelheaded severity and dominance. (which he does have--the evil trauma gremlin is a separate trait and doesn't usually get triggered when teaching)

fucking obsessed with the park bench scene. louis sitting there in the rain with an umbrella in his lap, looking at armand, looking at the umbrella, and being like "i'm a bit wet". he's feeling that out, seeing how armand responds to this power dynamic before they have the rest of that conversation. like... this is calculated, louis knows and is telegraphing what he wants from armand, and armand is so eager to give it. it makes me insane. obsessed with their dynamic. truly obsessed.

and the scene before louis is going to give madeleine the gift... i actually don't think armand takes poorly to having his boundaries respected. i don't think armand is quite that fucked up (or more accurately, he is that fucked up, but has a good understanding in at least some parts of his brain about exactly how fucked up he is even if he has some weird cognitive dissonance about it, and is able to rationally interpret that as a good thing in that moment, even if it puts him off balance). what armand takes poorly is louis being wrong. louis took responsibility for something and couldn't actually handle it and that totally undermined armand's sense of safety in their relationship. which is obviously not reasonable or healthy, but i think makes a lot of sense for armand and his decision making process.

i'm also really attached to the idea that armand has a good working knowledge of modern risk aware BDSM practices. he has the internet. and as much as louis and armand don't have many (hardly any) actual peers and are therefore wildly codependent, i think they both have a ton more casual contact with people than they appear to in the dubai interview. i think louis is coming out of a particularly bad depressive funk so temporarily doesn't have much contact with the outside world, and showing himself to have outside contact doesn't serve armand's narrative. anyway, i think armand has been to his fair share of kink clubs.

i think a large part of why lestat lets louis go with armand in the tower is because he believes (correctly, at least in this case; that is literally the least convincing yes i have ever heard when louis asks armand if he saved him) that armand is not a very good liar so if louis doesn't believe lestat saved him, it's primarily because louis doesn't want to. armand is great at controlling a narrative, significantly less great at flat out lies.

armand functions, structurally, as a femme fatale in a detective story. he's exactly as simultaneously shady, secretive, tragic, and alluring as he seems to be--the reveal is just that he's done something worse, but still totally in character, than we thought.

loumand from louis' perspective: i loved you in paris, i'm not sure if i love you now or am just scared of being alone. sometimes i can work with that and things are good, other times i think i'm betraying claudia's memory by being this close to you and am going to punish both of us for it. a lot of the time i'm clinically depressed in a way that actually has very little to do with you, but you're such a martyr you can't see that and sometimes i crave the resulting attention and subservience and other times it makes me sick with both of us.

[jinxedshapeshifter]

I've probably talked about this before but Kazuma's themes fucking kill me.

Samurai On A Mission and Kazuma Asogi: Nocturne are both in a major key. Samurai on a Mission feels happy. It makes you excited. Nocturne's slower, and it's more bittersweet. But it still fills you with optimism. It still feels good to listen to. It gives you the feeling that even if Kazuma's gone, this isn't the end. There's still stuff Ryunosuke needs to do in Kazuma's place.

Compare them to His Glorious Return and A Prosecutor, Reborn, and it's the complete opposite. The opening to His Glorious Return feels just slightly off. Like I don't think it's in a different key than Samurai on a Mission, but it's different enough to just feel off. I think it might be the instruments honestly. His Glorious Return is closer to Nocturne than Samurai on a Mission (obviously it's the same motif but His Glorious Return is closer to Nocturne than Samurai on a Mission because it's slower).

And THEN you get to A Prosecutor, Reborn. How fucking dare they. At this point in the game, not just is Kazuma prosecuting Barok, but his motive is made clear to be revenge (iirc). A Prosecutor, Reborn is basically just Samurai on a Mission with different instruments and in a minor key. A Prosecutor, Reborn specifically has fairly prominent harpsichord in it. The same also applies to Barok's theme. You get the vibe that something is seriously wrong here.

You can literally understand Kazuma's arc before The Resolve of Ryunosuke Naruhodo from his themes alone. That's. impressive. Like just to be clear this isn't the first nor the only time Ace Attorney does this. It was also done with Eustace's themes, Winning Deductions and Winning Independence. But it's so impressive that they gave Kazuma four unique sounding themes using the same motif and made it easy to tell how his story goes just in music. Like just listening to his themes, it goes happiness and positivity > oh actually this is kind of bittersweet. there's still work to be done so we must go on > triumph but also a little bit of "something's off here" > wow what the fuck happened here

It's so impressive to me?? But also the fact that Kazuma has four unique sounding themes that use the same motif is incredibly impressive. All four are basically the same song but different depending on the vibe needed for the part of the game they're featured in. Doing that with anything is hard.

A similar thing is done with the Dance of Deduction tracks. Partners ~ The Game Is Afoot! feels more complete than the initial Joint Reasoning tracks. Listening to the initial Joint Reasoning tracks and then listening to Partners ~ The Game Is Afoot! makes it incredibly obvious to me. In this case, it goes from "this is fun and upbeat!" during Joint Reasoning [TYPE A], then goes to "we're getting a little more intense" during Joint Reasoning [TYPE B], then to "oh now we're getting INTENSE" during Joint Reasoning [TYPE C], then to "shit just got REALLY serious" with Partners ~ The Game Is Afoot! Even the backstage tracks (the ones that play when you either fill in the blanks or correct one of Sholmes's deductions) are like this. It feels more intense and high energy during Sholmes and Mikotoba's Dance of Deduction.

Anyway my point is TGAA is genuinely the best video game soundtrack ever in my opinion and even tops most movie soundtracks for me. I'm almost completely convinced this is because they made the soundtrack sound like music you'd get in Victorian England. I don't think the soundtrack would be nearly as good without the Victorian sound. Anyway back to drawing I go

[leahkentwriter]

Hannibal but make it sapphic

Someone recommended a novella called Bloom by Delilah S. Dawson as it was apparently inspired by the tv show Hannibal. That got my attention. As did the cover art. (I kind of want to fuck the cover art, and I'm asexual.)

I feel like this is a twisted romantic horror story between a budding bisexual and a homoromantic asexual. Which I loved. More of that, please. Lesbians are great, but I like it when those of us who are a bit underrepresented are front and center.

What I will say here is that if you're a fan of the show but really wanted more of that sapphic element - this novella is worth a read. The rest of what I have to say I'll hide in case you want to pick this book up without my thoughts in your head.

This is a story about Ro, a newly appointed assistant professor of literature, and Ash, a free-spirited artisan. The story is sapphic and feminine, even when the horror is on full display - and it is on full display. There are very clear parallels into Hannibal which fans will pick up on, so those craving a sapphic version of the Will-Hannibal relationship may be interested in this story.

That said, the Hannibal references got a bit heavy-handed in my opinion. I think that in honoring every part of him, the narrative leaned in a bit too heavily. I enjoyed the elements that were unique to this particular story more than I did the tie-ins to Hannibal. Something more domestic, something that turns a certain kind of polished pastel Instagram aesthetic into horror. A protagonist that resonated with the awkward feelings and tendency to overthink that many of us experience. How well Dawson represents what obsessive feelings look and feel like.

Because this is a novella and it had to move quickly, there were things that had to be told rather than shown. That's fine - but at times, in this story, it felt clunky. There are moments where the narrator is clueless, yet it's so obvious what's going on. The literary references are sometimes great but sometimes don't pull their weight, and I wish they'd been used a bit more intentionally. The foreshadowing is at times less shadowy and more like a big blinking neon sign. Even without knowing anything about Hannibal, readers will know fairly quickly where things are going. This novella is about appreciating the journey, and what that journey looks like between queer women.

Ro is actually annoying, and I love that about her, because anyone who has ever been obsessively fixated on another person knows how your critical thinking skills suddenly shut down. She's distracted, she's fumbles, she does the wrong things for the right reasons and doesn't really listen and often knows she's not really listening, and her internal justifications are weak at best, so she's definitely not a martyr in this story. She both ignores red flags, and is a red flag herself. Both of these women have needs they're trying to sate, and have elements of toxic behavior.

Ro's awkwardness and mistakes and messy emotions and overthinking are usually relatable. She's pretty quickly out of her element and gets pushed more and more out of her comfort zone, which she at times overthinks, but at times just gives into. I did enjoy that about her.

Ash read to me as distinctly asexual. That's never overtly stated, but that was the vibe I got, which I enjoyed. And yes, there's sex in this story, because asexuals do fuck, and do even enjoy fucking (it's me. hi.) but Ash? She's a homoromantic ace. She's not getting off on the sex - there's something else driving her desire. (I'm a panromantic ace with kinks. I will die on this hill.)

Ash is an interesting predator, and any story where you've got women hunting women is going to get my attention. I've had enough of men hunting women. Women hunting men does satisfy a certain urge but I have to be in the mood.

Women hunting women is a whole different beast. And there's something Ash says toward the end of the story that felt very uniquely like something a predatory queer woman would say. We only ever see her via Ro, but it's easy to fill in the gaps that Ro doesn't (want to) see. If you're a Hannibal fan, you'll understand Ash pretty quickly. Even if you're not, her motives become clear. I think the thing I liked the best was that her desire isn't singular - by the end you realize that there were several ways this could have gone, and Ro was always the one who was going to determine that. (Of course, how much agency Ro actually has is debatable.)

I'm not sure how more hardcore Hannibal fans will like the ultimate ending - they will definitely understand where it comes from. I have mixed feelings about it simply because it does borrow from the show in a very direct way that I didn't like. I wish it had been done a bit differently. But I'm not disappointed at what it reveals about Ash.

My biggest critique is that I feel like this should have been a novel, because the things I felt were a bit clunky and heavy handed and rushed could have been easily smoothed out in a longer narrative. I also wanted to stay in this story longer. Despite my critiques, I did like it, and I feel like there's a lot more here that could have been explored. Dawson wove in lots of interesting threads.

I love stories that center women and women's spaces and feminine aesthetics, without making them seem silly or diminishing them. Stories that, like Dawson's, see the beauty and the horror without trivializing. You never get the impression that she's parodying or making fun. You see the idyllic nature of the life behind the aesthetic, as well as the gruesome realities. These are all things that are very familiar and very understandable. And that's what makes it chilling.