#fuck you traums
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dd-writes · 9 months ago
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moonshynecybin · 11 months ago
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still marinating on vale and conflict from this post. like the press is bumble wrap to him. it’s comfortable. an arena he’s in control, where he can use his pr savvy to define himself and define other racers. so it’s like. kind of the ideal mode of conflict escalation for a guy that a. loves to be loved, b. is going through a teeny weeny (BIG.) ego crisis, and c. doesn’t want. the insane emotional risk of having a face to face conversation (about a delusion you kind of made up !) with the guy whose friendship he wants to obliterate. a story is true a story is untrue as time passes it matters less and less… like if a narrative is compelling enough it WILL become reality to a person and that’s. i think what happened here. the allure of a reality where losing in 2015 is all marc's fault.
like for me the toughest nut to crack wrt to rosquez reconciliation is a. the ego risk and b. the emotional stakes of the conversation. they are arrogant and they are stubborn! and they HATE emotional vulnerability (although i do think marc is working on that bc he do be crying all over the place in ways i think vale would rather cut off his arm than do.) like i think he’s using the press to try and put emotional distance between him and marc because his feelings are hurt and he can grasp some power back in a situation where he feels very very powerless. which is crazy bc marc is innocent free my girl he was chilling!!
and it’s interesting that he treats it like a personal betrayal/divorce (cutting him out the same way he did with his dad) and also like a professional betrayal (immediately takes it to the press) but! the one place he is NOT. able to heavily mediate the situation is on the track. where marc handed his ass to him six ways to sunday and got karate kicked about it. which is deeply NOT a chill guy valentino rossi move. why did he do this you say well marc is annoying. but! he also is now a beautiful little symbol of failure and hurt and ego and BETRAYAL. if we believe that vale believes his own delusions at the time which mostly yes i do. mostly. so yeah. conflict! fine on track. off track big flashing lights DANGER. AVOID. DANGER.
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malewifehenrycooldown · 1 year ago
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yeah yeah i got recommended that Henry Cooldown analysis video whatever. i am still not over people comparing Henry to a medieval knight, NOT even taking the time to unpack that said mental image of a knight is 'mostly' associated with the British Monarchy*, an extension of its Empire that *checks notes* did a long list of atrocities like imperialism and colonialism, and also (multiple) genocides.
Henry is NOT British, he is Irish. Although considering the history of Ireland and how poorly the British Empire has treated them (amongst SO MANY OTHER COUNTRIES AND DIASPORAS), yeah it's NOT surprising that an Irish man like Henry is essentially forced to adopt quote on quote 'British sensibilities' to 'survive'. <- intentional imagery or not, the implications are not lost on me.
Like okay, calling out the comparison is cool but it sure would be nice if people went further to unpack what that means and implies in the long term. you know, like ACTUAL CRITICAL ANALYSIS?!
#I COULD do a whole essay about this. but i don't have the spoons to do so.#this is were i drop the big ball of information about me because fun fact! I am IRISH AND SCOTTISH. AND GREEK. so like.#so yeah i REALLY don't like the british#i hope in alternate universe i make youtube video essays about no more heroes and successfully argue how its about inter-generational traum#shallow rambles#nomoreposting#technically I was quite surprised by being recommended it. but looking at the comments i realised that their interpretation#is like the buy the books obvious surface level analysis of henry's character. not actually. thinking about the deeper things#behind his character. like. are we really going to ignore how his memories were wiped when he was adopted? okay.#to me henry is an example of someone finally confronting their trauma. how they cope is a whole other thing but henry is second#to jeane (the sister) that actually takes the time to confront the trauma although unfortunately this is mostly implied off-screen#travis BARELY acknowledges how fucked up it was for him and his siblings to be split apart and raised by different families#this got really fucking personal and i don't think anyone has actually cared enough to even consider the historical subtext#of these characters but that's just my take.#also i'm not fucking listening to a man explain to me what henry is. you know in a filmbro way. i have my own brain and interpretation and#that is all that matters to me. if you liked the guys video that's fine but honestly i am just not that interested in the essay.#you like henry for the rivalry trope. I like henry for other reasons that are open ended. we are NOT the same.#btw not EVERYTHING is about kill the past. it feels so reductive to ONLY analyse suda's work as a connected series#because it implies each one can't stand on their own merits!! that's NOT good analysis!! his work can stand on their own individually!#*about the whole knight and british monarchy thing there are other knights in other countries but unfortunately we only#think about knights in a VERY british-centric way. just thought to bring that up.#no i wont make a video essay about any of this i value my anonymity.#no i won't apologise for waking up and choosing violence today
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shatar-aethelwynn · 2 years ago
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acquaintance from a church: please give this church one more chance! it's the same pastor we all love!
me: ...the pastor is one of the reasons I left, so that'll be a no from me :)
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selinascatnip · 1 year ago
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I actually had quality time with my stupid cousin this week
Iza, his girlfriend, is a miracle worker, he's been such much less of a dickhead since they started dating
I remember back on march last years when they had a huge fight in which sh told him if he didn't go to therapy they would have to break up and wow, self-advocating goals, coming from a family that loves you really is different, not a people pleasing gene in that body, and she's like super nice.
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pctaldrunk · 1 year ago
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u ever work backwards w/ an oc ajfljsdklf;sf like, i don't actually know w h y he's the way he is, but like, i know this is him, so im going to incept things into his life that make him this way
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givemeallthesaintquartz · 6 months ago
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The death of Sherlock Holmes but it's fgo
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phantomtrax · 19 days ago
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I am like. Speechless
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secondpersonpoetry · 10 months ago
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Franziska Linkerhand, Brigitte Reimann
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empty-dream · 9 months ago
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HE WOKE UP
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kaDOC WAKE UP ANYA HAS SWIMSUITS!!
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... und jetzt bist du sogar schon in meinen Träumen ...
🫠
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heartshapedracetrack · 1 year ago
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My heart breaks for Dele, he's so brave for doing this and i'm so proud of him 🥺💜
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anyosu · 6 months ago
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izuku really went "hey girl wanna talk about our traum-" and ochaco goes "oh you ugly as fuck. hope you get better soon <333" and DIPS. HOW do you recover from that. truly nobody does it like her i love her
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zillanovikov · 1 month ago
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i am STRUGGLING
this book is so good and i want to write a review that does it justice but it's EXQUISITE and i am but a humble review farmer tending my crops
like
as a young nerd who loved Robert Jordan for high fantasy with gender politics and political scheming I would have KILLED to read Maej which is a book that starts with that but also let's have LINGUISTICS ADVENTURES and EVERYONE IS QUEER and one of those plots that has a million threads but you're weaving a delicate, intricate, watertight tapastry (tapastries aren't watertight but you know what i mean, i can't use words like dale strombeg can, that's why he wrote maej)
the thing is i never trust authors with a book like this, i don't believe anyone can set up a story this ambitious and actually fucking deliver on every character arc, every world building snap of a twig, that so much build up can lead to satisfaction
we've grown into old and cynical nerds with Lost and BSG offering us only set up and no payoff, Robert Jordan died young, it's always winter and never Christmas
this is fucking Christmas guys
this is the real deal
open your gifts
what could go wrong when you start to wonder whose magic burns to fuel your world?
what could go wrong
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bonny-kookoo · 1 year ago
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Jungkook x Reader/ Yoongi x Jimin
𝓢𝔀𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓣𝓸𝓸𝓽𝓱 [Honey]
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Your words can bite so hard, and your eyes can glare harsher than the sun- but there's a certain hint of sweetness hiding behind that armor you wear, and it sticks to Jungkook's heart like honey.
Tags/Warnings: Human!Yoongi, Human!Jimin, Rottweiler hybrid!Jungkook, Cat hybrid!Reader, Enemies to friends to lovers, mentions of past traume, some Yoonmin here and there oops, Main story focus are MC and Kook though, scolding, mild Angst but with happy end
Length: 3.6k words
There is no taglist for this fic.
-> Masterlist
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The next morning, you're almost entirely hidden underneath your blanket- a pile of cat, still visibly upset with the new sleeping arrangement even while unconscious.
Jungkook feels a bit bad- he wants to maybe help you feel at least a little more at ease with him, but he's got no clue what he could really do- so he just hopes that you somehow at least accept it for now, after realizing that Jimin and Yoongi will both not cave into your wish to sleep with your owner instead of the dog hybrid.
"Ah Jungkook. Good morning." Jimin greets him, and Jungkook's tail instinctively wags, making the human smile brightly. He's currently making himself some coffee while Yoongi is already sitting at the small table, browsing something on his phone before he locks it and sets it down.
"Is she up too?" He asks Jungkook, who shakes his head.
"I think she went to sleep late. She was pretty upset the entire night.." Jungkook mumbles, and Jimin sighs.
"Let's let her sleep then-" He starts, but Yoongi shakes his head, earning an almost pleading look from Jimin.
"No." Yoongi denies. "I don't care who wakes her up, but she's getting up. If she wants to sleep longer, she should've went to bed on time when everyone else did." He says, and even Jungkook now lowers his ears, feeling a bit bad for you. Yoongi is a bit harsh sometimes, and tends to be a little strict, but you're not used to that. It feels a bit much to dump that all onto you right away, in his opinion.
"..alright." Jimin sighs, running a hand through his hair, before he leaves to wake you up.
"Don't you think you're a bit.. too harsh?" Jungkook wonders, sitting down across from his owner and friend at the table. "I mean, she seemed really upset last night.." He says quietly, listening to some sounds coming from his shared room with you, presumably you getting up and ready for the day.
Yoongi doesn't answer, and so Jungkook just sighs to himself, awkwardly waiting for you to emerge together with Jimin- which you do, still visibly upset, practically hiding away from Yoongi's sight. Jungkook is convinced that at this rate, you'll just end up hating his owner more than him at the end of this trip- and he's not sure if that's gonna be any better for Yoongi and Jimin. After all, the plan is to just somehow get them all to at least tolerate each other- but he himself can't see that happening like this.
And it doesn't get better when you refuse to eat anything for breakfast, simply sitting next to Jungkook with your arms crossed and an angry glare. "You're staying behind if you refuse to eat." Yoongi threatens nonchalantly, and your eyes harden even further, ears pinned back.
"I'm not a child." You growl, causing Jungkooks skin to tingle from the amount of anger you radiate next to him, the air heavy with the scent of your fury. It makes him nervous, to say the least. He's always been pretty sensitive to other's feelings, after all.
"You're surely acting like one." Yoongi responds back with no clear emotion, as he looks at you. He surely has the looks to pass as a cat hybrid, even without ears and a tail- but you'd never accept him as one. He's a traitor, he's the main reason your perfect little world has tilted, he's the cause of you surely having to go back to the shelter soon, just because he wants to fuck your owner. And you hate it. You hate him.
"We can get a snack or something in the town though, right?" Jungkook says, trying to soothe the situation- something Jimin seems to pick up on, eagerly latching onto that chance of problem solving.
"Yeah! There's a mall in the town, we can surely eat something there." Jimin nods, not leaving Yoongi any chance to argue as he gets up and puts the dishes in the sink.- Jungkook rising from his seat as well to help and also escape the situation.
Well- this is certainly going to be an eventful day.
At the mall, the mood clearly lifts quite a bit- you're way too busy looking at all the displays and storefronts to really care much about Yoongi's sour attitude, which also has lightened partially due to Jimin's charming attitude towards him. It's a breath of fresh air for everyone- though Jungkook isn't sure when he was put on babysitting duty when it comes to you, trailing after you to make sure you won't get lost.
You don't really acknowledge him, and he's fine with that. All of it gives him a little bit of a chance to observe you more, and paint a clearer picture of you. Because he's convinced that you're not actually mean or a bad person- you're probably just worried, or scared. And he knows that cat hybrids tend to lash out when they feel threatened or cornered. He's seen it time and time again. And he hopes that maybe he can witness you opening up to him as well- one day.
Though right now, he's reminded of his own issues- as he walks past a small group of friends bunny hybrids clearly intimidated by his presence, something you look at from the side, before you search for a bottle of juice you want it seems like. You stand out amongst the people even though your outfit isn't all that colorful- but it's still just uniquely you, frills and patterns and bows all adorable on you.
Although your high heeled mary janes don't really help reaching his height at all, down the line. You're not even a hand-length taller than any of the bunny hybrids currently talking in a hushed tone with their large brown eyes staring at him, before they pass you, almost as if to escape. You look after them, before you take a small bottle of mango juice for yourself, walking towards the cash register- and he notices the way you now look back, as if to check if he follows. He does- though a bit slower now.
He doesn't really want people to think he's stalking you or anything.
His hybrid breed and overall appearance intimidates people a lot- mostly other hybrids, and he knows this, painfully so. He doesn't mean to come off as this- and in the past, he really tried to look as friendly as he could, with colorful sweaters and shorter hair to make sure his face would never be hidden from view. But he quickly realized that he can't change the way he's being perceived. He's always been the big bad dog- and that stigma will forever stick with him no matter where he goes. So he decided to be and appear the way he wanted to- got himself tattoos and started to dress in a more comfortable, though very dark style, while also growing out his hair.
But that doesn't mean it doesn't affect him anymore.
After paying for your bottle of juice, you stand in front of the small convenience store, the bunny hybrids still watching him with their intense looks, and Jungkook feels himself become overly conscious of just how many people are around him. It makes him nervous. Does he make others nervous too? How many people are looking at him right now, just waiting for him to make a mistake?
Suddenly, something cold hits his bare arm, once, then again. He looks to the side, spots the tips of your cat ears which ware turned one towards him, and one backwards towards the bunnies, though your eyes are simply looking to the side, as you hold out the bottle. "Uh.. for me?" He wonders, caught off guard, and you scoff, rolling your eyes.
"No, dumb dog-" You mumble, tapping your foot impatiently. "-open it. I can't." you admit, and only now does he spot the way one of your palms seems to be an angry red, probably from the force of you trying to unscrew the cap. He takes the bottle from you, opens it with ease, before he gives the bottle to you, cap still in his hand. You drink slowly, probably because the liquid must be pretty cold, a drop from the condensation on the outside of the plastic container falling right into your cleavage, and he averts his gaze in respect for you, instead noticing something else.
The bunnies are still looking at him. So is a young couple with a small dog hybrid child. But they're not looking at him with worry, or fear, or anything-
the bunnies seem almost shy now, watching him with sparkling eyes of wonder. The puppy hybrid laughs, the mother having a warm smile on her lips, her striped cat tail softly curling over her lap while her husband chuckles next to her. And then you clear your throat, before you hold out the bottle to Jungkook again- who screws the sap back on, and decides to hold it for you. You're not thanking him at all, and he doesn't expect you to.
He doesn't need you to.
Because he realizes what you just did. You didn't just demand him to open a bottle- you could've done that right after paying for the beverage, but you did it almost strategically in this rather open and exposed spot. To show off- to show that Jungkook isn't a big bad dog at all.
And as you walk back, he falls a bit into his own mind, thinking of how to repay you that act of kindness- because he's always been like that. He can't help but feel the need to not be in someone elses debt- something Yoongi has taught him not to do. You're just on your way back however, when Jungkook realizes something he didn't notice while he was stuck deep in thought-
you're no longer in sight. He can't see you- can't smell you. You've vanished.
And he's panicking, because in front of him, he can see both Jimin and Yoongi, who seemingly haven't noticed your absence yet, Jimin happily waving him over. Jungkook feels his heart drop- how is he going to explain that he lost you? "Where's-" Jimin starts, and Jungkook feels his tail lower down in shame.
"I don't know." He offers, Jimin's face clearly falling at that. "She was with me like- five minutes ago, I don't know where she went.." He admits shamefully, and Yoongi sighs.
"Let me guess-" He mumbles, looking over at his partner. "She doesn't have her phone with her?" He asks him, and Jimin shakes his head. "Great. Let's just sit down here on the side and wait. Maybe she'll find us soon." He suggests, while Jimin doesn't seem too convinced about that plan.
"No, I'll go look-" He starts, Yoongi holding him back by his hand, trying to tug him back to sit down next to him. "Yoongi-"
"If you run off now she's never going to find you." He offers. "She's an adult, not a child, Jimin. She can do this on her own." He explains, while Jungkook doesn't feel convinced. Sure, you truly aren't a child, and he doesn't view you as such, but the mall is still pretty big. And you're on your own. And yes- maybe he feels a bit oddly protective over you, considering you're somewhat part of the family- even if you try very hard not to. Jimin and Yoongi truly seem to get along very well, and clearly share an emotional connection, making it very obvious that the only hurdle right now is you and Jungkook trying to get along.
And maybe he's at fault too. If he was a soft cat hybrid too, or a cute bunny, or even a gentle bear hybrid, you wouldn't be so reserved and defensive. If he wasn't born as a dangerous dog breed, he probably wouldn't make you feel so intimidated.
Maybe if he was different, this whole mess wouldn't even exist.
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You actually didn't mean to get lost. You really didn't. After all, why would you? This is your personal nightmare, after all.
Being left alone has always been an issue to you. Maybe because it happened so much to you in the past that you now just felt this obsession with needing to latch onto things you want to keep, fueling your fear of abandonment even further over time. Maybe it's always been like that, and your overall reaction to it simply just changed. You're not sure. All you know is that you don't want to be alone anymore, and Jimin had been the soothing security for a good few years for you, your security in the fact that you'd never have to be on your own again. And now with Yoongi and Jungkook, that security is challenged- your happy little bubble about to burst.
Or maybe it already did, and he's just trying to find the best moment to break the news to you.
None of your thoughts want to make sense as you sit on the random bench in the mall, staring at the hem of your skirt. Your mind just wont clear up, nothing really offering you any comfort as you wait for someone to maybe come find you. Maybe no one will actually reach out to search for you. Maybe they're happy you're gone now. Should you just leave? You could just go to the next police station, they'd put you in a shelter in that case, and Jimin wouldn't even have to come pick you up. He could just say over the phone that he doesn't want you back, making the whole process a lot easier on everyone.
Jungkook is a nice guy. He's gonna fit right in with Yoongi and Jimin.
He really doesn't deserve the looks he gets. You've noticed that a lot today- the odd glances he gets thrown, as if he's a criminal on the loose, ready to stab someone at a moment's chance, when in reality, that dog could probably not even slap down a fly if he was asked to do so. He's so soft, and gentle, and a little bit sensitive- making you wonder if he ever really gets angry at all.
You know you get angry a lot. You know your tantrums are childish, but you can't help your reactions. You're not good at handling and controlling your emotions. You never learned how to do that- and you refuse to put any effort into it anymore anyways, because does it really matter?
Suddenly, someone walks past the bench you're sitting on, stands in front of you with his back turned facing you, looking around. You're watching him for a bit, crossing your arms as you get up to walk a bit closer, before you say anything. "You'd make for a horrible tracking dog, you know that?" You snap at Jungkook, who's ears turn around first, before his head whips towards you as well- tail beginning to wag as he realizes you've been finally found.
It's kind of cute.
What isn't kind of cute is the absolute bear-hug he tackles you with, holding you close for a good moment as if he'd just reunited with a long lost friend, while you lean back away from him, cringing at his overly happy attitude. "Don't run off like that!" He scolds, though there's no fire behind his words. Someone walking past chuckles at the scene he's spotting, and you push against the dog hybrid's chest to signal that he needs to step away a bit, which he does, apologizing under his breath before he smiles. "Let's get back to Yoongi and Jimin. They've been worried." He informs you, walking next to you as he leads you to where they both are sitting.
"Yoongi is gonna be fucking pissed seeing that you found me." You mumble, and Jungkook looks down at you, before he shakes his head.
"Yoongi is a bit.. bad with feelings, and he can be a little harsh with his words, but he means well." Jungkook tries to justify his owner's behavior. "He's really nice. He's just.. stressed because he really likes Jimin, and wants to work it out all by himself." he explains, walking next to you with his hands in his pockets. "He's always been like that. He feels bad when something fails that he's involved in, and then puts all the blame on himself." He shrugs.
"That's stupid." You mumble, spotting both of your owners on a bench in the distance.
"A little, maybe." Jungkook laughs. "But I'd say he thinks what you're doing is stupid too, so." He jokes, and at that you glare up at him, arms crossed.
"Well you're stupid too." You huff, while he suddenly grins down at you, a very interesting look on his face.
"And you're cute." He says, leaving you to stop in your tracks as your brain needs to process his words for a good moment, not having expected that. And you don't get much more time to really think about it when a happy Jimin runs towards you and embraces you in a hug, clearly relieved that you're back and not lost after all.
Though Yoongi doesn't look too impressed at all.
"What the hell was that?" He scolds as you're relieved from Jimin's hug, though you're clearly not just taking Yoongi's words without a fight back.
"Got lost, my god." You roll your eyes. "Sorry I got found, won't happen again I guess." You mumble, looking to the side, while Yoongi sighs.
"I sure hope this doesn't happen again at all." He says, walking closer to adjust your hybrid collar so that your tags are facing the front- the close contact making you inch back a bit on instinct, his hands stuttering a little because of that. "..don't get lost again, please." He mumbles, indicating that he was at least mildly worried- and you're just looking at the floor, pouting to yourself.
"..I'll try." You just say back quietly, causing both Jungkook and Jimin to laugh.
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Later that day back at the cabin you all share, it's clear that that little moment today didn't magically change anything. You're still picking a fight with Yoongi left and right, you're still awfully bratty and Yoongi keeps on scolding you while Jimin tries to keep things at least somewhat civil- but there's an odd lightness to it now. Like the bite behind your words- and also Yoongis- has lessened quite a bit now, no longer intending to hurt.
And tonight you don't argue at all about the sleeping arrangement- at least not vocally-, making it a bit easier on Jimin and Yoongi.
Though Jungkook notices how you're not sleeping, rather staring into nothingness while the entire room and cabin is drowned in darkness, your owner probably already asleep. "Everything okay?" Jungkook asks, and you hum an affirmative answer towards him- though he notices you're not very confident in your response it seems like. "What's wrong?" He now whispers as to not wake up your owners, as he sits up on his bed now, looking over at you.
"..nothin'. Go sleep, dog." You mumble, pulling the blanket a bit higher over your body.
"You know.." Jungkook starts quietly, sighing as he rubs his eyes. "..Nothing's gonna happen to you." He offers, and at that your eyes move to find his. "I know that you're scared-"
"I'm not." You respond.
"-that you're not scared then, but if you were-" He teases a bit, watching you roll your eyes. "-it would be for nothing. Jimin's not gonna get rid of you, Yoongi doesn't hate you, I don't hate you either." He tells you, and you sigh.
"..why not?" You mumble, so quiet he almost doesn't hear it. "Jiminie only pays attention to Yoongi now. He didn't even brush my tail before bed anymore, like he always does. He doesn't care anymore." You mumble, making you roll over to have your back facing Jungkook.
"What if I did it for you then?" He wonders, and you look over your shoulder with an irritated look. "I know it's not the same, but I can try." He offers, shrugging, while you sit up slowly now as well, watching him suspiciously.
"Why would you do that?" You ask, and he just leans his head to the side a little, his gaze now a lot more serious.
"Cause I know what it's like to be alone." He tells you. "I know what it feels like to have no one. And I don't want you to feel that when we're all here." He tells you, and you look down to the floor, oddly quiet now.
And it stays like that for a good moment, making Jungkook question whether or not you fell asleep while sitting- when you raise your face again, this time eyes glossy with emotions you won't speak of. And you don't have to.
Because the way you don't fight him as he walks over to hug you speaks louder than anything you could say to him. And tonight, you feel a little less lonely with him holding you. Tonight, you're opening up just a little bit. Tonight, you decide to cling to someone new-
Tonight, Jungkook get's a little taste of how sweet you can be, once you let someone in.
Sticky like honey, clinging to his skin.
"…if you tell either of those two about this I'll bite off your tail and boil it." You threaten against his chest, and he laughs, said tail wagging underneath the blanket you share.
"Of course." He chuckles, playfully petting your head. "Of course."
His cheeks almost hurting from smiling so brightly, as the sound of your purr fills the room.
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mako-neexu · 6 months ago
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i forgot how traum showed me how fucked up guda is lmao. being threatened casually is the norm. a ticking time bomb in the form of a woman that could kill you any moment but theyre chill about it...torturers/executors killed right in front of them but they dont bat an eye on it and most of all, dont lose their appetite despite the corpses at their feet. oh yeah traum also showed the fucked up sense of taste they had because of this journey...i think i remember jp players back then saying that they either cant taste anything anymore or their tongue is now something like... what is sweet is salty, what is spicy is sweet... and in being asked about talking about themselves, guda most likely have started with waking up post-simulator trial combat instead of who they are, when they were born etc...(it could still be included but each singularity is a long story to tell..)
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