#fuck you kafka anyone can be depressed

[beware-thecrow]

for those who don't know Aimo:

ULTIMATE HISTORICAL FIGURE OF TUMBLR COM!!!

[pryllee]

7 minutes in heaven, or 7 hours.

Blade x AFAB! Reader

Dubcon, stomach bulge, kinda degradation/praise kink, slight mean blade with a sprinkle of softheartedness, cunnilungus/fingering, riding, jealous reader, kinda jealous blade ”ugly body” rejections whatever mentioned in start, hickeys/marking, tit sucking, bit of possessiveness in both so the feeling can be mutual, small breeding kink mention

A/N: I get pretty awkward and cringey while trying to write fuck parts so I hope anyone who reads this finds this good. And maybe I'll make HCs with him taking care of a child next time... If anyone wants that. 🥲

—

As depressed you already were, it already sucked even more with each rejection that slapped you at the face. You slammed the can of alcohol onto the table as Blade just watched leaning his head onto the wall.

"Ugh these fuckin' asses..." You held onto your head annoyed as hell,

"You know, we should be heading back now." He scanned you, before looking away again to try avoid your ’fiery fists’

You complained, slamming a fist onto the table almost making it break. "Oh c'mon don't make it worse than it already is! These idiots have the nerve to call my body unattractive, they might've just had atleast one more kiss before they died, no? Not like they were any better..." Silently whispering the last part.

Your brows furrowed noticing him staring off into the distance, probably at someone. You tried to find the direction he was looking in, and found a pretty girl almost your height, but her curves really showed through that waitress uniform.

A small ’oh’ of disappointment almost escaped your lips, making your eye twitch. "Maybe your right. Lets go." You grabbed the can with half of alcohol left.

Your walking almost felt like you were stomping leaving Blade barely confused, more like unfazed as he found this normal.

—

You noticed the place felt a little lonely, you didn't hear much till you advanced inside further and noticed some of the stellaron hunters and probably new recruits due to some unfamiliar faces along with Kafka on the side and Silverwolf. "Hi, [ Y/N ]. Nice to see you've brought Blade along with you." Kafka smiled as Silverwolf blew gum up, tapping away on her gaming console.

"Whats going on? They playin' spin the bottle?" You pointed drunkly with drool almost oozing out of your mouth. "Hmm...—seven minutes in heaven or whatever." She waved her hand as her back leaned against a pillar.

What is with these people leaning against shit? Just how disinterested really are they?

"Lemme participate." You spoke as you squeezed in a spot in the circle pushing some people aside joining the weird circle formation that felt like a cult. "What about you, Bladie? Won't you join her too?"

"Not interested. I don't really care about those type of feelings." He was about to walk away in the way both of you came, till Kafka offered him something.

"Hmm, I'm sure Silverwolf can secure you some time with her?" Pointing at her as he noticed a little wheel thing that controlled the bottle. "Unless you want her to give herself up to someone else, that is."

He clenched a fist tightly, loosening it quickly as he just also squeezed in a spot opposite of where you are.

He watched the previous can you held be thrown away assuming you already finished it or didn't and just hated the taste now. As the bottle kept spinning for some time, you wondered when it would land on you and choose a decent looking dude. Till it finally did. But then landed on Blade.

Your expression of happiness quickly went away realizing who else it landed on, would he even want to do spicy with you? If anything he'd probably rather do it with that stupid girl he stared at earlier. Maybe I should kill her. Whoops, thoughts got a little offtrack there.

The person on your right was nudging your shoulder to follow Blade in, as you quickly took a glance at Kafka feeling like something was up. And you were right cause something really was up. You followed him in, as he locked the door behind you both.

"So what do we do? Play cards? Or should we find that girls number?" You scoffed in annoyance wondering how the fuck you both even got paired up. Not like he'd find you anything more than friends.

-

You once planned to confess to him but as you were looking for him, you overheard some parts of a ’private’ conversation.

"Bladie, what do you prefer in a girl?" Kafka smiled, asking him. He just looked away as he looked in your direction, it felt like he saw you, but then it felt like he didn't as it really was just an open corridor thing.

"I don't know. I don't care about such things... But probably someone good with a sword and is stronger than me." He mumbled the last part, seemingly unsure of his words infront of Kafka as she'd probably do some weird shit.

"Oh? I thought you liked girls like [ Y/N ]?" She pried. "No... We're just co-workers, shes too bold for me too." He sighed, speaking in a low tone.

Just co-workers? Ha, is he fucking insane? Not even friends... But literal co-workers? You walked away holding onto your broken heart with tears bubbling up a little but you just wiped them away deciding to push your feelings away.

"Hmm... Poor [ Y/N ], seems pretty upset that she thought she was already rejected without the chance to even ask directly..." Kafka whispered in a low tone, glancing in the same direction he looked in previously.

"...Excuse me?" He asked, yet only got a headshake and ’nothing.’ in response. Did ’Elio’ also foresee this? How come Blade wouldn't get to know though? Well I guess he wouldn't need to since it's not related to the Astral Express or Stelle.

—

"Girls number? Who exactly are you talking about?" He asked, making the atmosphere even more awkward. "Oh please, don't act like I didn't see how you stared down that girl with ’beautiful’ curves in that stupid bar." You scoffed, crossing your arms.

"Is this seven minutes in heaven, or seven minutes in hell listening to you complain? And I didn't stare her down. I was just looking at her because ’curves’ were related in the stupid topic. You're the one who just stomped away like a furious little kid." His words hit you hard into the face, "And we aren't dating, I don't see how you're so pissed off about it."

You were practically seething in anger as you just turned around to go through the rooms backdoor to go outside. "And where are you going?" You felt him grip onto your waist, which sent shivers up your spine. "None of your business." You tried to push his hands off yet his grip only tightened even more.

"Blade..– Let go." Your breathing slowly became more and more hitched as the gap between you closed. Suddenly the lights went out and you heard Kafka announce something that made everyone walk away.

"Have fun, you two." Kafka whispered to herself, although she knew you couldn't hear.

"Hm? What happened, Kafka?" Silverwolf confusingly followed her from behind.

His chest pressed against your back, feeling his breathe becoming heavier as his hand slid down to your inner thigh, making you try to squirm out of his grasp almost instantly. "Blade stop—nnh.."

A soft low moan was made out as he caressed your clothed sex, you held onto the door infront of you, "Do you want me, [ Y/N ]?" He whispered into your ear. As short silence filled the room, he spun you around, lifting you up with his arms with your back pressing against the now locked door. "Answer me, you whore."

His eyes bored into yours. Your eyes darted everywhere trying to find a way to escape or somewhere decent to look at. "Whats with the act? How come you're so shy now?" He teased, chuckling, leaning into your lips. His tongue mixing with yours as you held onto him for Aeons sake, digging your nails into his back.

He pulled away with a string of saliva connecting from both of your lips, before leaning back down biting down on your tops button spitting each one out. "Do you really need to destroy my top? I could've just undo it by myself."

This felt like a dream come true, yet you also wished you would just wake up from it, it feels so wrong yet so right.

"Hmm... Can't have a pretty girl like you falling onto the ground now can we?" He held you with one arm now, with the other needily pushing the remains of your dignity away to reveal your chest. Yet another obstacle arised due to your bra. "Shouldn't we...—stop here? I'm sure it's already been seven minutes.." He shook his head, just pushing your bra down.

"Mmh, how cute, you're the one who wanted this for so long yet you're the one who also wants this to stop already." He bit down on your nipple, suckling on it like he tried to milk you,

"Maybe I should breed you with kids so I can suck alot of milk out of you, you'd probably like that, wouldn't you?" You moaned softly from time to time, covering your mouth with one hand as the other travelled up his hair,

"Mmngh... I— maybe...nnnh" you whimpered. His mouth was suckling one with one hand cupping the other and flicking at your now hard nipples leaving hickeys. You sobbed out his name softly, "I assume thats a yes? Can't believe how turned on you are when I'm only playing with your tits."

The previous hand that was cupping your boob slid down your pants, pushing it down along with your panty,

"Be a dear and say my name, maybe I'll help with that wetness down there then." His gloved finger ran down your slit, making you shudder,

"blade..." You mumbled

"Can't hear ya."

"Ugh... blade," You looked away embarrassed, your nails again digging into his back.

"Hmm?"

"Oh for Aeons sake, Blade please just fuck me!" You cried out in annoyance, the embarrassment was more than enough.

"Good girl." He lifted you over to a table, laying you on it with you facing him, "Wasn't so hard now was it?" He took his gloves off, pulling your pants off exposing your legs and cunt.

The tension got heavier with the bare cold hitting against your chest and lower half. He aligned two fingers with your hole, slowly pushing it in. "Be gentle—please..." You looked away,

"Mhm... And why should I?" He cooed "Could this be your first time?" You slightly nodded, as he just looked back at your hole, pushing his fingers in deeper forcing a moan out of you; "Ughh..—Blade! Nnh!" You cried, arching your back miserably, it hurt like a bitch yet slowly felt good.

He can't believe he almost gave your virginity up to someone else other than him, the fact you could've been moaning out someone elses name really is annoying.

His fingers thrusted in and out at a painfully slow pace, your walls tightened vigorously and it was so easy for him to access with how wet and slick your pussy already was for him. The pace got faster, with his fingers slightly becoming curled with each passing thrust adding another finger in.

"Fuck! Blade—nngh.. shit..." You cussed out clawing at the table feeling a knot in your tummy loosening, you came all over his fingers making a mess on the table. "Look at what a fucking mess you made, what a slut getting off with my fingers alone." He shoved his fingers down your mouth, onto your tongue,

"Lick it." You moaned softly to try and tease him, along with some sucking. "Ha, maybe I shouldn't have let you cum that easily." He flicked your clit making you yelp a little loudly.

The bulge in his pants was starting to become unbearable, but atleast it's time to actually have some intercourse. He undid his belt, slipping his pants off pulling you closer to him, sitting infront.

You became a tad bolder, holding onto his thigh and with the other hand you held onto his arm. "Sit still, pretty girl." he reprimanded,

He finally slipped his boxers down grabbing onto your ass lifting you up pressing your now dry saliva-ridden tits against his chest slightly with him holding his length, "Uhhm... Are you sure it's going inside of me?" You stared nervously at his length "Yes, and I'll make it fit if you're so worried about that." He spat on his hands, rubbing around it.

"Don't girls usually do that by sucking it?" You ask perplexed, "Mmh... They do, but I'm sure the both of us can't wait to start this fuckfest."

He chuckled again lowly, burrowing his head into the crook of your collarbone kissing it leaving a hickey as he blindly shoved it inside of your hole making your back arch, and tremble. His mouth travelled down again to your nipple, suckling on it and drawing circles around it with his tongue. He stuck his hand in place on your stomach feeling the bulge disappear and appear each thrust he does.

"Fuck—" low moans rolled off your tongue, "... Feels so good, Blade.." He sloppily thrusted inside, trying to find your g-spot, finally noticing you tighten arching your backing vigorously at one of the thrusts, thrusting again making you moan loudly.

"Shh. Do you want someone to hear us?" He shoved a finger in your mouth, spitting onto your tongue making you swallow it. "Such a whore, swallowing my spit so easily." He leaned in for another kiss, mixing saliva together once again sloppily thrusting rolling his tongue around with yours.

His thrusts got faster 'n deeper yet somehow still managed to hit your G-spot everytime, you threw your legs around him, and arms around his neck smashing your lips against him. "Fuck—I'm so close [ Y/N ]... He mumbled lowly with one of his hands travelling down to rub your clit furiously.

You creamed around his cock, liquids dripping down your thighs and his shaft furiously feeling yourself coming closer to your climax. You burrowed your head into his neck, messing his collar up and leaving small hickeys as you bit at him.

"Really what a whore, I can't believe you could've been like this with someone else." His words made you scoff slightly, "Neither can I." Grunts could be heard under his breathe and your moans getting louder and bolder till both of you came at the same time, white liquid filled your womb yet you still felt his length barely softening,

You tightened around him hard you could feel his cock pulsing inside of you, "Mmh.. Not done yet." He whispered, blowing into your ear having reality settle into your very veins.

"Don't tell me you still have stamina..." You said in a tired tone. "I do, infact I still do have enough till morning." He laughed leaving another hickey on your collarbone, biting on it feeling proud of all the markings hes made on you.

—

Light shined through the blinds, quite literally almost blinding you till you realized you have no idea where the fuck you are. You were in some weird house, in someones bed. You got up and noticed you were naked, hurriedly finding clothes to wear.

Till you noticed the closet was full of mens wear, yet you just grabbed whatever looked comfortable and strided out of that room... Which was probably Blades room. You noticed a mirror right when you stepped out, and saw hickeys everywhere on your collarbone and neck. "So it really wasn't a dream..."

"What wasn't a dream?" You saw him appear from the side holding a cup of coffee in different clothes for the first time. "Also you're wearing my clothes. They seem too big for you." He remarked, "Well obviously, I have no idea where the hell you threw my clothes off too and the tops buttons were torn off by you."

"Calm down you two, we don't wanna stir up trouble in this house, otherwise we'll be found out and chased out. Also stop with the love quarreling." Silverwolf sighed also in different clothes. "Okay why is everyone in different clothes for the first time? Am I going insane?" You rubbed your eyes.

"Now we may wear the same outfit for a long time but we definitely wear something else at night to sleep comfortably, thank you." She replied in an ’isn't it obvious?’ tone. Blade just leaned on the wall sipping the cup of coffee.

Silverwolf then seemed to remember something, hurriedly tip toeing over to you, "How was it?" She whispered in your ear. "What? How was what? I don't know what you're talking about." You flushed red running away to find the bathroom.

"The bathrooms the other way." He yelled loudly in an unfazed tone. "I KNEW THAT!!!" You screamed dashing the other way.

"Oh dear Blade... What exactly did you do to her?" "Nothing. Don't go thinking weird stuff about me now." He took another sip of his coffee before following in your tracks to also go to the ’bathroom.’

——

[animalinvestigator]

pls say more about the metamorphosis thing im really interested

oh haha ^_^ im flattered! well its been a very long time since i read the short story (two or three years?) but if you havent read it i highly reccomend you do, its all over online and theres a reason some people get taught it in high school! its because its a really fascinating story and again if you look past the sort of surface level text of OHHH IT SURREALISM! u can see that samsa is clearly exhibiting a number of symptoms of depression over the course of the text (lack of interest in things that one formerly enjoyed, sense of ennui, general dissatisfaction with life) and that the  like, core reason that he’s feeling this way is bcos he doesnt want to work in his job and he just wants to quit and leave and start a new life. still he has this like obligation to protect his family and do his job, but when he wakes up as a bug one morning, he obviously no longer can... if we’re drawing the same parallel, this could b the breaking point in which a mentally or physically  ill person can no longer function a desirable amount as viewed by a capitalist society, and is therefore cut out of participating... ...which is when his family becomes impoverished bcos he can no longer “carry his own weight” so to speak, adn slowly over time as they ahve him trapped in his room and he becomes used to behaving as a bug, his family starts to resent him and they starve him, and then when he dies they’re actively relieved about it. so like..this is OBVIOUSLY commentary on being viewed as an undesirable in a capitalist society, how one’s only purpose in a capitalist society is their percieved capital, the monetary value assigned by the bourgeoisie to their labor, etc etcc etc but like i didnt get taught that in my class in high school we jsut talked very briefly about surrealism and the depression aspect of it and didn’t at all tie any of that back to the fact that the main reason samsa’s family hated him by the end was because they viewed him as a burden because he could no longer perform labor for capital!!!!!!!!!!!! and thats the fucked up thing becasue with all of the talk of poverty and all of the talk of how much he hated his job it becomes like SUPER FUCKING OBVIOUS!!

and then my mutual kurapikawithagun also brought up the aspect of social outcast i.e. being seen as a human being to being seen as a vermin overnight which is something really potent that i had never thought of before! which is particularly insightful because like they said kafka was a jewish man  and was likely writing with that lived experience in mind all in all metamorphasis is a godo story becasue its a potent social critique that, if u read in the way it was intended to be read, will resonate strongly with the fears of anyone who feels like they’re too weak for working and feels outcast by capitalist expectations adn shit like that, and beyond that just the fears of anyone who has ever felt societally unacceptable in general BUT BECAUSE WE ARENT ALLOWED 2 DIVE INTO IT IN SCOOL SO MANY PPL I  TALKED TO WERE JUST LIKE AHHH IT WAS KOOKY IT DIDNT MAKE ANY SENSE...LIKE AHHHH :( NO ITS RLY GOOD

[silenthillmutual]

Danganronpa 1 & 2 characters as High School “recommended reading” books I actually read

Makoto Naegi

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee when i read it: 5th grade for fun, 10th grade for English class did i like it? well enough yeah content warnings: thematic & period-typical racism, ableism, and sexism about: Recounts a summer in which Scout and her brother, Jem, watch their lawyer father defend a black man accused of raping a white woman in the south while balancing raising them alone. Other stuff happens, but that’s the most important plot thread.

Sayaka Maizono

Medea by Euripides when i read it: i don’t remember, maybe 9th for drama, 12th for English? did i like it? yep! content warnings: child murder, infidelity, some pretty brutal other character deaths, sexism about: Medea, who has sacrificed everything to be with her husband - even committed treason - has been left by the man so he can move on to woo and wed a princess. And she loses her shit.

Leon Kuwata

The Adventures of Huckelberry Finn by Mark Twain when i read it: 11th grade did i like it? yeah! content warnings: thematic & period-typical racism (use of the n-word), domestic abuse, classism iirc? about: After his abusive dad comes back and demands money under the threat of death, Huck Finn runs away with a fugitive slave down the Mississippi River. Being Mark Twain, it’s a comedy, although Huck’s father is genuinely kind of frightening and his friendship with Jim is kind of heartwarming.

Chihiro Fujisaki

Frankenstein by Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley when i read it: 10th grade for fun, 12th grade & freshman year of college for class did i like it? I’ve got mixed feelings; i love the book, hate most peoples’ interpretations of it. content warnings: character death, incest (depending on the version of the novel you read), unethical doctors, neglectful parents about: Thinking he knows better than literally anyone else he’s ever met, Victor Frankenstein decides it’s his birthright to play god. He robs graves to build the perfect body, and then, once he’s successful, flips his shit and refuses to acknowledge any part he played in the creation, wrecking the lives of like everyone he knows.

Mondo Oowada

The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton when i read it: like 6th or 7th grade, for fun did i like it? i loved it! content warnings: abuse, thematic classism, character death about: Honestly the most obvious choice to make for Mondo. Ponyboy Curits, a greaser, recounts the last few months of his life in which, after being repeatedly harassed and then nearly killed by gang of rich kids, his friend Johnny stabs one to death. In order to keep Johnny out of prison and Ponyboy out of a boys’ home, the two run away. Considering Ponyboy is also being raised by an older brother, this totally fits Mondo.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru

King Lear by William Shakespeare when i read it: twice in college (discliamer: as an english major i had to taken an entire course on shakespeare, so he shows up a lot here between that and having done theatre) did i like it? no content warnings: a surprising amount of gore for a stage play, including a guy getting his eyes gouged out and someone getting beheaded iirc about: The king’s getting up in years, so he’s hoping he can drop the workload off onto his three daughters while remaining the figurehead. His youngest, Cordelia, who he loves best, refuses to kiss his ass by saying that he’ll still have power over her once she’s married, and this pisses him off so he disinherits her. Then her sisters, annoyed with their father and his favoritism, decide that with Cordelia out of the way they can now do basically whatever they want and determine to make his life hell. Since he named them Goneril and Regan, I don’t blame them.

Hifumi Yamada

The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer when i read it: college, but i wanna say i read some of the stories in it for English classes in high school? did i like it? some of the stories i did yeah content warnings: varies from story to story, but i remember unsanitary, drunkenness, and infidelity about: The overarching “plot” as such is that a group of people are making a pilgrimage to Canterbury, and decide that to pass the time they will tell two stories each. Each story is told in-character, and whoever tells the best story has to...buy everybody dinner, or something? I don’t really recall. It’s a comedy, but it’s also unfinished because Chaucer bit off way more than he could chew.

Celes Ludenberg

“The Cask of Amontillado” by Edgar Allan Poe when i read it: 11th grade did i like it? probably, i’m a fan of Poe content warnings: drunkenness, murder about: This one got memetic on tumblr for a while, but essentially this guy decides to get revenge on an old friend of his for some kind of sleight by getting him drunk during Carnival, leading him into the basement, and burying him alive. Poe isn’t one to go soft.

Sakura Oogami

“A Very Old Man With Enormous Wings” by Gabriel Garcia Marquez when i read it: 10th grade did i like it? no content warnings: objectification, something akin to torture about: A family finds an old man with wings lying face-down on the ground and decide to keep him like a pet. People see him and assume he is an animal, and the family decides to start charging admission like their own private sideshow, while onlookers abuse him. One of those extra depressing stories that makes you wonder why the hell you had to read it for class.

Mukuro Ikusaba

The Crucible by Arthur Miller when i read it: the first time, probably in 6th or 7th grade, and then several more times after that for a variety of other classes. it’s a theatre and English class staple.  did i like it? when taken in context, yes. but i’m also fucking sick of reading it. content warnings: infidelity, paranoia bait, period-typical racism & sexism (takes place during the Salem Witch Trials) about: The plot is a witch hunt, in which a girl who had an affair with a married man claims to have been taken over by the spirit of the devil and that all her friends and a variety of other townsfolk have too. It follows the trials as they try to determine who is and is not guilty, who will repent for their sins, and thematically is about puritanical hysteria. It’s about the Red Scare of the 50s, surveillance, the Hollywood Blacklist, propaganda, and tyrannical government. Naturally, teachers fail to provide any context for the play that actually makes it relevant or interesting. Compare to modern day callout/cancel culture. 

Kyouko Kirigiri

12 Angry Men by Reginald Rose when i read it: 10th grade (although i’d already seen the movie) did i like it? yes content warnings: thematic classism & xenophobia about: The jury of a case in which a teenager is accused of murder convene to determine their verdict. All but one man believe him to be guilty. The rest of the play covers his attempts to sway his other jurors into at least casting aside their prejudices to view the case impartially.

Byakuya Togami

The Federalist Papers when i read it: summer before 12th grade for AP Gov. yikes. did i like it? oh god no. i had to have my lawyer dad explain it to me. content warnings: legalese and it’s boring as fuck about: i mean it’s just a bunch of essays to promote ratifying the the constitution. I don’t even remember if we read all of them. that’s how bad my retention of the subject is.

Toko Fukawa

The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka when i read it: 10th grade did i like it? kind of? content warnings: bugs, emotional abuse, depression about: A man awakens one day to find he has transformed into a giant cockroach. It’s a metaphor for his depression and what a burden he feels like to his family. If you read anything about Kafka’s life, you’ll understand why he was depressed.

Aoi Asahina

Hamlet by William Shakespeare when i read it: i’ve forgotten when my first time was because i’ve had to read it so constantly. if i had to wager a guess, i’d say middle school, though i’ve read it for fun, for drama class, and for English class. did i like it? yes content warnings: character death, suicidal ideation, incest vibes (depending on your interpretation) about: Hamlet, not over the early death of his father, is enraged that his mother has married his uncle. He’s really bringing everyone else down about it, and then he starts to see his father’s ghost on top of it all. No one’s sure if he’s just mad with grief or if the ghost is for real, but he starts making life for everyone else difficult when he decides to try and expose his uncle as his father’s murderer.

Yasuhiro Hagakure

Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller when i read it: 10th grade i think? did i like it? if i believed in book-burning, this would’ve been the first turned to ash in my trashcan content warnings: infidelity, mediocre white men with narcissism, suicide, not sure what else about: An aging father who thinks he was robbed of success by circumstances refuses to face facts that he is a loser by projecting his failures onto a son that now hates him and thinking real big of himself for a wash-out.

Junko Enoshima

Othello by William Shakespeare when i read it: college did i like it? it’s my favorite Shakepseare play, actually! content warnings: thematic racism/xenophobia/Islamophobia, domestic abuse, character death about: A tragedy centering around the planned downfall of Othello, Moor of Venice. He’s relatively well-respected for his heroics and generally being a pretty cool guy, but for whatever reason, Iago wants to see him suffer. And when I say “for whatever reason” - it’s because Iago never gives a consistent one, but at the end he admits the entire thing has been his orchestration and he’s had no issue exploiting peoples’ bigotry as a means to an end. One popular and pretty text-evident theory is that Iago is in love with Othello. But - causing a ruckus, bringing society to its knees, and torturing a man just for shits n giggles? Getting it all done by sheer power of charisma? That’s all Junko ever does.

Monokuma

1984 by George Orwell when i read it: 10th grade for fun, 12th grade for class did i like it? yes but i don’t recommend it. i like tedious shit. content warnings: paranoia bait, sexual themes, torture, probably other stuff i’m forgetting about: Classic dystopia lit in which the government controls the flow of information to the degree of creating its own language (”newspeak”) to explain the technology used to survey its citizens and distill history-changing propaganda. Especially relevant in an era of “fake news.” Where Big Brother Is Watching comes from. Extremely difficult to get into.

Hajime Hinata

Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck  when i read it: 10th grade did i like it? yeah content warnings: ableism, implied domestic abuse, character death, animal death, era-typical sexism (1930s) about: Very desolate and depressing novella about the futility of the American Dream to “make something of yourself”. Two farmhands, Lennie and George, arrive at a California farm seeking employment. They just want to earn enough money to open up a farm of their own - a rabbit farm - and things are all downhill from there. Well-written and one of Steinbeck’s shorter works.

Twogami

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald when i read it: 11th grade did i like it? yes! i loved it. but in the way that you love sleazy tabloid rag stories. content warnings: infidelity, car accidents, character death about: Stupidly rich people in New York in the 1920s being fake as hell. It’s about excess and decadence and the idea of having a rags-to-riches story, and it’s very homoerotic.

Teruteru Hanamura

Brave New World by Aldous Huxley when i read it: 10th grade did i like it? one of my top faves tbh content warnings: alcoholism & drug usage, thematic classism & racism (ie that’s the point), sexual themes, violence, non-graphic suicide (like literally the last sentence), character deaths about: You know how 1984 is a very pessimistic dystopia about government surveillance? Brave New World is like “what if everything was a utopia because of government interference?” It’s easier to get into than 1984. It’s about a man from the upper echelon of society discovering the dirty secret of how society is able to able to function the way it does, an outsider into his world to shake things up.

Mahiru Koizumi

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen when i read it: i dunno, summer between 9th and 10th grade maybe? did i like it? yes! i loved it. content warnings: there are a couple of guys who are sort of gross but there’s nothing that bad in it about: An upper-middle class family - more the mother than the father - trying to marry off the eldest of their five daughters. It’s largely character-driven and most of the plot focuses on Jane’s relationship with Bingley, Elizabeth’s relationship with Darcy, and the problems witch judging people based on first impressions.

Peko Pekoyama

Call of the Wild by Jack London when i read it: 9th grade did i like it? fuck no content warnings: graphic animal violence. if there’s other stuff i forgot because i fucking hated this book. about: I think it’s something like a dog getting lost in Alaska and has to learn to be a wolf in order to survive? It’s incredibly brutal and is one of those media where just reading it makes you feel cold. 

Hiyoko Saionji

The Glass Menagerie by Tennessee Williams when i read it: 10th grade did i like it? not really content warnings: man i don’t know, but it’s by Tennessee Williams so there’s probably alcoholism, daddy issues, and homophobia about: An overbearing mother embarrasses her son and disabled daughter when an old school friend comes to visit...I’m not sure if there’s more of a plot to it than that. Like most Williams works, it’s largely character-driven.

Ibuki Mioda

If On a Winter’s Night a Traveler by Italo Calvino when i read it: college did i like it? this is one of those rare exceptions in books where i read it, because i remember having a visceral reaction to it, but i can not for the life of me remember a single damn thing about it other than how stupidly difficult it was to read.  content warnings: it’s metaficiton. about: You are the protagonist. I genuinely can’t explain anymore than that.

Mikan Tsumiki

A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams when i read it: 9th grade did i like it? not really, but i’d be willing to reread it content warnings: domestic abuse, rape about: Unstable Blanche DuBois goes to visit her sister, Stella, and meets her appalling husband Stanley. All Tennessee Williams plays seem to have a theme of family tragedy in them, with this being probably the most bleak example. 

Nekomaru Nidai

The Odyssey by Homer when i read it: 9th grade, then again in college for a classics class did i like it? yeah content warnings: your usual classical Greek-variety nonsense, including character death, infidelity, and partying. about: Odysseus attempts to make his way back home after the Trojan War, and has a time of it. Having pissed off Poseidon he’s gotten off-course and gotten lost another ten years, and had a whole slew of other adventures trying to make it back home and save his wife from the harassment she’s been getting since his disappearance.

Gundham Tanaka

The Tempest by William Shakespeare when i read it: 10th grade did i like it? not especially content warnings: thematic colonialism & racism...not sure what else but it’s hard as fuck to read. try reading it out loud & acting along to it. about: I didn’t totally get it but there’s something about a wizard having been banished and now people are coming back to find him for some reason? the people who exiled him & his brother & daughter have crash-landed on his island and now he might get his revenge. Thanks, TVTropes! All I remember is discussing in one class about how The Tempest managed to predict the “finding” of America and how the English would treat the native peoples. It’s a “romance”, which in that day and age meant it was about magic. Influenced some science fiction works like Brave New World (the title of which comes from a line spoken by Miranda). I should probably reread it.

Nagito Komaeda

The Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger when i read it: 8th grade for fun did i like it? yeah content warnings: implied pedophilia. i’m sure there’s other stuff but i don’t remember it well enough. about: Perennial troublemaker Holden Caulfield is kicked out of boarding school, and takes a hell of a long time getting home from the place as he complains about his declining mental state, hypocrisy, and loss of innocence. It’s one of those books you either really love or really hate, and has been repeatedly challenged because Holden swears too much and might be bisexual.

Chiaki Nanami

Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw when i read it: 12th grade, i think did i like it? yes content warnings: classism about: A linguistics professor makes a bet with a friend that he can take any lower-class citizen and teach them to speak formal English, well enough to pass them off as aristocracy to other rich people. It’s the plot upon which the musical My Fair Lady is based, although it was intended as a deconstruction of the kind of plot whose trope it now codifies.

Sonia Nevermind

“Lamb to the Slaughter” by Roald Dahl when i read it: 10th grade did i like it? yeah! content warnings: infidelity, character death about: A guy comes home and tells his heavily pregnant wife that he’s been having an affair, and he’s leaving her. She doesn’t take it well. I won’t spoil the rest of it, as it’s a short story, but it’s fun to keep in mind that it’s be the same guy who wrote classics such as Matilda and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Kazuichi Souda

A Midsummer Night’s Dream by William Shakespeare when i read it: 8th grade for a book report and then again in....i don’t know. i’ve had to read it a lot. did i like it? sure, it’s got some pretty great insults content warnings: men being douchebags including stalker-y behavior, and a woman falls in love with a man who has a donkey’s head (it doesn’t last) about: Hermia & Lysander are planning to run away to get married because Hermia’s father doesn’t approve of Lysander, and she’s trying to dodge the affections of Demetrius - the man to whom she has been betrothed, because he’s an ass who, among other things, slept with her friend Helena and then ditched her. Which Helena is still hung up on, even though he’s a gross creep. At the same time, a group of actors are trying to get together a play for an upcoming royal wedding, and the King of the Faeries is trying to win back his wife. This all connects because a faerie decides to fuck around.

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu

The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier when i read it: college, for an independent study did i like it? yeah content warnings: graphic violence, i think some homophobia? about: Kids and staff at a private school take a candy sale way too damn seriously. There’s basically a mafia at the school and some sort of weird popularity contest and hazing going on. 

Akane Owari

“The Most Dangerous Game” by Richard Connell when i read it: 9th grade did i like it? i guess so content warnings: human hunting about: A man finds himself shipwrecked on an island, and is then hunted for sport. No, really.

Monomi

East of Eden by John Steinbeck when i read it: technically i’m in the middle of it right now, but that counts, right? did i like it? so far, i guess i do, but it’s mainly i care character who comes up later. couldn’t give less of a shit about adam trask, full offense content warnings: period-typical sexism & racism (set around the turn of the 20th century and published in 1952), implied pedophilia (that gets incredibly glossed over), ableism about: A combination of heavy-handed religious allegory (Steinbeck really just can’t cool it with the Cain and Abel theme naming) and family tree history. Follows the Trask family through Adam’s childhood, tumultuous relationship with his brother, even worse relationship with his wife, and horrible parenting of his children. The end (which is what the film adaptation covers) is more centered on his son Cal Trask grappling with the idea that he might be evil because of his genetics, or something. I think that’s an argument you could make of Monomi, being related to Monokuma (or at least, how i’m sure she’d feel).

[itsthenerdwonder]

So I have this problem where someone posts a 2 sentence comment on YouTube and I come back 6 hours later with a ton of research and 5-paragraph essay going like *anime glasses* “Well, you see--” and I hate myself every time. This time was because I’m playing catch-up on Critical Role and Laura Bailey’s character, Jester, commented on an Empress of a nation saying that because her people and another nation were at war and wouldn’t stop until everyone was dead because such is the nature of life. Jester followed the line of logic to the possible out come of 

a better world when everyone is dead. YouTuber ike eki believed that Jester mistranslated what the Bright Queen had said, and I...decided to write. I wrote over a thousand words because I don’t understand the concept of concise anywhere except in the classroom where word counts are a STRUGGLE. Apologies to everyone who reads my philosophy 0 class essay because I’ve never taken a philosophy class; I just spent over a month hating talking about Franz Kafka’s Metamorphosis and existentialism in 11th grade.

It's several feet down the road, but it's still the same path. If you follow the line of existentialism that everything will go wrong because that's the way of life and there is no greater purpose beyond the endless cycle of birth, destruction, death, there's not many forks in the road. None of them are wrong; they're all-natural responses to living multiple lifetimes. But they are usually destructive, to the self or anyone close to the person.

You could end up depressed, Kafka's Metamorphosis style. Knowing pain is inevitable and there's nothing you can do to prevent it and so becoming disheartened and sluggish due to depression. And this is dangerous because this is the thought process of many people who turn to suicide. Something or somethings hurt. It hurt a lot. And you listen to people say "it gets easier and you learn to deal with the pain" and think, why? Why put up with the pain? If I must put up with the pain, then I must, and I will. I will go to this job and live with my family and endure my life as little more than a giant cockroach because life is suffering, and it doesn't get any better as evidenced by those who can prove that life sucks. But if I mustn't, then why live? Why live at all? What's the point? There is none. So, there will be no life.

You can end up accepting, which the Bright Queen is. She has lived hundreds of thousands of lives and probably tried to change herself and others for "the better" a millennia ago. But it backfired. And it probably didn't backfire once, but dozens if not hundreds of times. And if she dropped a pebble into the stream of life, ripples were created but quickly faded. And if she dropped a boulder into the same stream, it may be diverted for a time, but the river would, eventually, break down the rock and return to its original path. And so does life. The more things change, the more they stay the same. And you must accept that. Keep what you can, but know that if it was meant to die, it will. Life will do as it desires, and there is little you can do to change that. So, there need be no attempt.

The only other path you can take is one of abandonment, that is, abandoning the line of thinking that life is pain. The "Let it Go" or Mollymauk approach. You've done some things, good and bad, but that means fuck all. Your actions define who you are now. The actions of your past define your past. And perhaps you created conflict and that hurt, but you take a step off the road. You walk off the beaten path into brambles and bushes and it's hard. It's a slog. And some people might turn back to where it doesn't hurt as bad, or at least, turn back to the familiar pain. But those who keep going learn something about life and themselves. They learn what they can take and what they can't. They learn what the world can take and what the world won't take, whether it can or not. You learn that life is a night sky. Dark and endless, but with beautiful lights that keep you looking and wondering how anyone could be afraid of the vast emptiness. Who could fear such open possibilities when you know that you can grasp them? All those stars, small beautiful moments that are worth fighting for. So, there need be no fear.

And every single one of these can lead to destruction. Depression can lead to destruction of self. To kill oneself or others to save them from the pain. The Roman parents who murdered their families to keep them out of the hands of invading forces. The people who stop creating because nothing they do will ever be good enough. The disappearance of the Will to Live after a traumatic experience. Acceptance, on the other hand, can lead to destruction of culture. The Jewish method of "keep your head down" during the Dreyfus Affair. The people making half-hearted jokes about pandemics and natural disasters. The people who philosophize about whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles without actually doing anything about either answer. The people who live for nothing and in the end, die for nothing, and the world continued on the same. Fearlessness can lead to destruction of walls. The people who no-longer fear ridicule and so post their creations on the internet. The people who stared Death in the face and laughed. The people who take their lives into their own hands, consequences be damned. The people who force others to make a space for them. The tiefling who forcefully carved out a name and personality when he didn't like what he was given. The man who wouldn't stand for a Jew to keep him from art school.

Fearlessness is the only path that allows the person to follow the path of thinking that life is nothing but pain and allow the person to keep moving. It might end in good things or bad, but by golly, it was your path. And for the good things, there will come pain. And hardship. Blood and tears. And you may even wonder if it was worth it. And for the bad, well, morals are all a matter of perspective, and most villains believe themselves to be the heroes of their story. Hitler, Thanos, Ikathon, Ultron, Kilmonger (holy cow, MCU, you need to take more philosophy classes.) If you survived the process of forging your own path, and if the ends justify the means, then the world can certainly survive a "better" path you paved for them. So perhaps the Bright Queen isn't evil, simply world-weary. But she knows that life is pain and seems to accept than. Now the question remains of: if she tries to break the circle and forge a new path, where will that lead, and what will she destroy to get there?

[toomanyfeelings5]

the definitive ranking of pulp! the classics covers and summaries, from worst to best

(Note: Pride and Prejudice was not included in this list, as there were only poster and greeting card options for the work, and not an actual book or summary. Had a book and summary been provided, it would have ranked lowest for unoriginality. It’s literally just 1995 Colin Firth staring moodily at you. The caption is “Lock Up Your Daughters...Darcy’s in Town!” which is just unfortunate, frankly, and honestly laughable.) 

16. Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte 

You take a novel that’s positively overflowing with drama and give it THIS cover? THIS summary? Absolutely uninspired. 

Here’s looking at you Cathy...

Childhood sweethearts turned star-crossed lovers, fuelled by bitter jealousy and dark revenge. She’s pretty and posh, he’s a moody brooding bastard. Heartbreak, alcoholism and plenty of illegitimate kids – it’s a perfect Northern drama.

Where is the feeling? The screaming violins playing as we read? The moors? The time skips? A hint of the positively bonkers plot that only a Bronte could compose?

15. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde 

 Oh, the heterosexuality of it all. On an Oscar Wilde novel, no less. 

Hey girl...I’d sell my soul for you!” 

Dorian Gray might be as pretty as a picture, but he's paid a devilishly high price for it. He'll stay drop-dead gorgeous, but there's something nasty festering in the attic...

Pretty as a picture and still lusting after ladies? Please. Pulp! Classics, you can do better. 

14. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald 

Again, we must speak the ancient chant: Oh, the heterosexuality of it all. 

When it came to loving...He knew which Daisy to pick! 

Sorry old sport, but Gatsby has a bigger house than you, prettier friends than you and a Rolls Royce to cart them all round in. To a backdrop of popping champagne corks and orchestral jazz, our hero bids to buyout his old adversary, perennial jock, Tom Buchanan and reclaim Daisy, his favourite bit of High Society totty.

Nick Carraway gets not one mention, which is odd given that he’s the narrator, the protagonist, and Gatsby’s most ardent love interest. Also strange is the cover’s insistence that Jordan Baker, known lesbian, would swoon over Gatsby. Doubly strange is how tiny the women are in comparison to Gatsby’s massive frame. What is, again, bamboozling, is how the slogan on the cover seems to imply that Gatsby knows how to pick a woman. He doesn’t know how to choose anyone, let alone love them. All Gatsby truly knows is the desperate pursuit of a fruitless dream. 

13. Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare 

Romeo looks like he could be Juliet’s father. Juliet looks like an Upper East Side Widow, not at all like the tween girl she really is.

Too wild to live...too young to die!

Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou…. Oh wait, he’s hanging around in the garden again. Will young Romeo and his Juliet ever be able to express their raging hormones? Or will their feuding families make this romance blossom into a poisoned flower? Either way, both their houses are totally plagued!

“Wherefore” means “why,” not “where,” though I do have to award points to the summary for placing the blame squarely on the feud and not on these doomed young lovers. Though again, young isn’t the operative word I’d use to describe this version of Romeo and Juliet. 

12. Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe 

This is what one would expect upon seeing a pulp cover of a classic novel. Not much originality or flair is present, but at least some sense of the story is conveyed. 

Solitude was driving him nuts!

Cannibals! Captives! Coconuts!

One man’s love of the sea leaves him stranded on a desert island with nothing but a few goats, a bible and a parrot for company.

Will he ever escape? Will his new pal Friday learn to efficiently press a goatskin jerkin? Or will solitude send him totally barmy?

WILL Friday learn to efficiently press a goatskin jerkin? One must read to find out, I suppose...

11. Tess of the D'urbervilles 

Marilyn Monroe?????

She’s...no angel.

The original Wessex girl!

Tess is just a humble milkmaid when the local landowner has his wicked way. Her new beau, the smarmy Angel Clare, is none too pleased when he finds out she’s already been deflowered. What is a girl to do? Bloody revenge of course, and an ending to touch the hardest of hearts.

At least the summary blames the terrible men in Tess’s life rather than Tess herself, unlike the tagline on the cover. And while Marilyn Monroe seductively lounging about with a drink doesn’t recall the faintest essence of Hardy’s novel, one would like to imagine Tess relaxing in whatever clothes she pleased, a straw dangling out of her drink, a smile on her face as she answers to no one and spends her quiet evening in solitude. 

10. Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome

An innocuous cover; the men’s faces hint at the comedic nature of this novel, and yet...something nags the brain upon looking at this.

To say nothing of the dog...

Incompetence, embarrassment and general disaster - no it’s not PMQs, it’s a trip down the Thames! Three hapless fellows and a world weary dog decide they need a holiday from their exhausting hypochondria. Hilarious mayhem ensues.

To say nothing of the dog indeed: Why does the dog on the cover have a human face?

9. The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka 

All one can say upon viewing this cover is: Jeff Goldblum, is that you?

Change really BUGGED him! 

Poor old Gregor. One day he's depressed about his dreary travelling salesman gig, the next, he's roaching around the apartment and disgusting his family. All that's left is creeping the walls and eating garbage. How's his sis ever going to find a sugar daddy with her grotty bro in tow?

Gregor isn’t grotty, he’s our six-legged hero in this tragic tale. 

And yet in the end, the question that haunts us all echoes in our minds in an unceasing echo: is that Jeff Goldblum? 

8.  Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland 

Alice as a hippie is eye-catching, but not particularly creative. 

This cupcake was off her head!

What HAS happened to little Alice? Taking 'shrooms, hanging out with hookah smoking ne'er-do-wells and being dragged to court. That's gonna be one hell of a hangover!

As much as I’m intrigued by Alice wearing heart-shaped sunglasses and a peace sign necklace, the summary and the cover consist of one joke and one joke only. 

7. The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde 

I just like how Dr. Jekyll in this cover looks equally as fucked up as Mr. Hyde. 

No more Mr. Nice Guy... There’s a sinister man about London town with something of the night about him. Mr Hyde is mad, bad and has a penchant for bumping off MPs and other kindly innocents. Will his friend Dr Jekyll be able to stop him? Or is there something more to their relationship than meets the eye…? Only the intrepid Utterson can get to the bottom of this mystery, but what will he find in Dr Jekyll’s lab?

Points to this summary for including Mr. Utterson, and for insinuating that Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde may be clandestine lovers. 

6. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens 

Ladies, gentlemen, and otherwise, don’t we love it when a greedy rich man gets bludgeoned by a mace into being more generous and kindly towards others?

This cat was a drag....’til a midnight wake-up call...

Christmas?! What a load of Humbug. Mistletoe and Wine just don't do it for Scrooge; he's a workaholic miser with an attitude problem. If he doesn't change his ways, he'll end up with no friends and Tiny Tim won't last the year. Let's hope some spooky night-time visitors can put the jingle back in his bells!

Ring-a-ling-a-ling, Mr. Scrooge. The mace is raised and the bells are ringing.

5.  Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad 

The tag-line made me, as the youths say, laugh out loud. 

Whoops! Apocalypse....

The horror! The horror!

Kurtz might be the apple of every brutish imperialist’s eye, but his God complex is getting wildly out of hand in the depths of the jungle. What on earth will Marlow find when he finally gets downriver? Devil worship? Savages? Heads on sticks? Or just another nutty white man with his knickers in a twist?

Surprisingly anti-racist summary made this jump to the higher echelons of this esteemed list, though of course that doesn’t excuse this novel’s abhorrent and embarrassing fake-deep racism. It also must be noted that the tag-line should have been “Whoops! White supremacy!” and the text of the novel should have entirely consisted of Chinua Achebe’s essay on the work. 

4. The Hounds of Baskerville by Arthur Conan Doyle

The cover alone is a winner. A rabid chihuahua out for blood? Inspired. 

Murder...Mystery...Walkies!

A desolate moor, a diabolical dog in need of a muzzle and some inbred locals; Sherlock Holmes is really up against it. With the help of his trusty sidekick Dr. Watson, Holmes pieces together a mystery that has captured the imagination of readers across the decades. All whilst practising a serious coffee and cocaine habit.

The tag-line is fun and catchy, but sadly this summary must be admonished for insisting that Dr. Watson is merely a “trusty sidekick” to Sherlock Holmes. Heterosexuality strikes again, reducing the impact of the striking cover design. 

3. Dubliners by James Joyce 

Finally! Some style, some panache, some flair to accompany these short stories about being sad and horny in Ireland. 

Stuck in the Liffey with you...

Booze, Sex and Hot Floury Potatoes… Those Dubliners are at it again!

Liars, thieves, whores and priests… James Joyce sure knew how to throw a party! This relentlessly downbeat collection explores the very worst aspects of human nature, and doesn’t leave out the juicy bits. It might not be in the best possible taste, but who doesn’t want to get down and dirty in Dublin?

The summary and cover work in tandem to wholeheartedly convince me that Dubliners is an action-packed, slick collection of stories detailing the wild escapades of a motley cast of ragamuffins, and I gotta hand it to the folks over at Pulp! Classics for injecting some bonafide vintage cool into Joyce’s work.

2. Othello by William Shakespeare 

I have so many thoughts on this. Mr. T. as Othello is fascinating, as is the tagline, “Some kind of Bard...aaaaasss.” Is this a commentary on blaxploitation media? One can’t help but recall Mr. T.’s reasoning behind his mohawk, his gold chains, to honor his ancestors and assert his living, unshakable humanity in a racist society. Is this is a genuine effort on the part of Pulp! Classics to imply that a blaxploitation-influenced adaptation of Othello could reveal deeper truths to the play that we have had yet to glimpse? 

Some kind of Bard... aaaasss

He’s a bardass brother with the love of a fine woman. That is until some cloven hoofed honky starts talking crazy about variously hued sheep tupping the hell outta each other! You gotta pity the fool who gets shafted by the green eyed monster. Let’s hope Othello can work out who to trust before it’s too late…

The fast-paced alliterative language of the summary harkens to Shakespeare’s own wit-fueled dialogue and penchant for creative language. The summary also calls Iago a devil, which is apt, and implicitly criticizes his racism, hinting at the play’s greater tragedies to come. The cover and summary also work in tandem to emphasize Othello’s jealousy and destruction: the “green-eyed monster” is mentioned, and the cover itself is a putrid green. An excellent example of what a vintage cover and summary can achieve. 

1. Frankenstein by Mary Shelly 

You all knew this was coming. 

This kid was born on the wrong side of the lab...

Frankenstein’s monster is on the rampage; terrorising the locals, unleashing murderous hell… and reading novels in his spare time. Can his petrified creator stop this reign of horror before his girlfriend gets the chop?

A James Dean-inspired creature, thereby making them a queer icon? Masterful. The creature being “born on the wrong side of the lab?” A stroke of genius; that they’re called a kid puts the poignancy of the monster’s plight into even greater relief, while simultaneously emphasizing their tragic charm. The clear distinction between Frankenstein and the creature? Reader, I exhaled in a cathartic release of tension. The loving detail that the creature reads novels in their spare time, like any other leather-jacket wearing, motorcycle-riding ruffian with a heart of gold? Beautiful. 

Truly, the obvious queer energy of this cover and summary highlights an overlooked dimension of Shelly’s great work while also paying homage to what draws us to this Modern Prometheus time after time. Do we care about the petrified creator in this summary? Not at all. He’s not on the cover, appearing both rebellious and gentle. We are here for the creature, in their leather jacket, on their motorcycle, novel sticking out of a back pocket on their jeans, ready to whisk us away to a place where even monsters like us can find solace, and be at peace, and commune with each other. We need only take their outstretched hand, and be willing to leave the mundane world for something better, for the chance to no longer be alone. 

[fromthegardenofeden]

                    OXFORD, a colourless and depressing afternoon, the sky, a canvas of grey with a whit of blue and the clouds, cumbersome, threatening to cleft, the cavernous city, saturated with moistness, as black leather, wearied and well-worn stepped onto the street, her footsteps, deliberate and delicate as she weaved her way through the hoards of people, tourists and residents that had accumulated on the street; why anyone would want to holiday in England was beyond her, having resided in the country for all thirty-two years of her life, she supposed she had been accustomed to the destined dreariness that followed and lingered, a perpetual and profound gloom, as footsteps diverted towards the northern building located at the edge of town, a series of houses that dated back to the twelve century when the campus was had began to grow, all layers of brick and ivy shooting up the sides, an archaic presence as she strolled down the long corridors luminated by a subtle glint. She didn’t make it a habit of walking, not when apparating and flying by spell was an easier and faster mode of transportation and the erect exhaustion that had plagued her, endless days and nights of organising and planning, but she had to maintain a certain amount of anonymity and blending in with the residents of Oxford seemed the best idea. Standing in front of a stone surface, seemingly just a wall composed of brick, Kiernan grasped her wand, glancing to her surroundings before she flicked her wand, back and forth, mumbling a series of spells as the door appeared, above it, the words engraved, “pulvis et umbra sumus,” that translated into, “we are but dust and shadow,” a quote from a collection of Latin lyric poems, rumoured had it that the great Roman lyric poet, himself, was of magical culture. Entering, the door vanished, as if it had never appeared as soon as the visitant stepped through the threshold, the woman’s progress prompt as she rounded the corner and walked into a room, hidden by a bookcase, though it wasn’t one of those secret passageways where you pulled a book from the shelf and it opened, rather, you had to choose the right book and recite the right passage for it to reveal itself. “You’re late,” she was greeted with a grim glance, “hello to you too,” she uttered as she weaved through the people until she got to her chair, well it wasn’t technically “her’s”, but she knew if anyone sat in it, there would be hell to pay. The man at the head of the room, standing in front of a wooden podium continued, reciting the plan as Kiernan was approached by a woman in a cloudy cloak, her almond-shaped eyes, the spitting image of Kiernan’s, or perhaps the other way around, “hello mother,” Kiernan murmured, glancing up as they exchanged a slight bow. “As I was saying, the explosion will occur at approximately 13:00 hours, which is when the minister and his haggles will be at lunch, but we’re not aiming for him, no, not yet, we’re waiting for Kafka to gain entrance into the vault, which is where they’re hiding the...” When the meeting was decided, Kiernan’s knees extended as she arose to a standing position, making a beeline for her brothers who were gathered in a huddled circle on the other side of the room, “yeah, where have you been?” Kaan inquired without looking at his sister, seemingly engrossed with a map of the ministry, “out,” was Kiernan’s response, “yeah, well, I don’t know how you can be running around in a time like this, just make certain you know what the hell you’re doing tomorrow, I don’t want you messing this up,” but the man received no response as Kiernan rolled her eyes, “stop being such a prat,” she murmured before stalking off in search of food. The following morning, light trickled in through the navy blue drapes that hung on the expanse of glass, guiding to the external world, Kiernan awakened by her Chartreux cat named Li Jie crawling across her, Kiernan never wanting an animal in the first place, but the cat was more than half her age and was inherited from her great aunt her sixth year at Hogwarts after her beloved owl Beaufort passed in a storm. Padding around the house, Kiernan fixed herself a cup of tea before she started getting ready for the upcoming events of the day, looking at her closet, shades of black, blue and grey, aligned the hangers as she pulled on an oversized black knit sweater and a pair of jeans; she couldn’t stand out, not that any of her garments had the appearance to do so and after grabbing her coat and her wand, Kiernan made sure she had her necklace, a golden locket her grandmother had gifted her when she was younger before vanishing. She landed in the train station close to Whitehall in the heart of London, where the Ministry of Magic located, of course, it was about eighty floors underground so no mere mortal could come across it, Kiernan using the back entrance that she had discovered, using her wand to fling the door open as she slipped in between a few people, undoubtedly heading to work, in the elevator, before the chime above resounded, “the thirteenth floor,” Kiernan stepping off as she watched the elevator shoot off at an abnormal speed, but then again, everything around here was abnormal, they were magic for chrissakes. She was greeted with an empty corridor, well, empty in that not another soul could be seen or heard and seemed neverending, identical doors aligning the corridor; in fact, it was eerily silent, Kiernan abruptly aware of her heart hammering against her ribcage as she continued on until she got to Nova’s office, a place she had been previously, for business and such. Entering, of course, after picking the lock, or the magical equivalent since the Ministry was very hush hush, as many governments were, Kiernan entered an empty room, disappointed that Nova wasn’t there and wondering where she could be as she looked at the pictures of Nova’s family, and such, and picked up various items to inspect them whilst she waited. She was in the middle of inspecting a glass ball with some sort of cryptic shimmer when she heard the door open and shut, signaling that Nova had returned and hopefully, was alone, Kiernan dropping the ball, and it landing, shattering across the floor, “fuck,” she breathed out as she looked around before kicking the remaining glass under Nova’s desk. Turning around, she leaned onto Nova’s desk as she smiled, seeing the girl, “well, fancy seeing you here, stranger. You know, you should really choose a more difficult password for your office, you never know what horrific monsters are lurking in the shadows,” with each word, she grew closer to Nova until there was barely any space between them. “Just itching to gobble a girl like you...” Kiernan stayed there, for a mere moment, just soaking in the strain that had been evident between the two since they met years prior, at Hogwarts before, with a sharp turn, she sauntered over to Nova’s desk and collapsed into the chair, extending her legs so she could rest them on the desk. “Well, today is your lucky day, thought we could go for a late lunch, I think the muggle pub around the corner is having a two for one on... fish and chips, but we’d have to go in... five minutes, which is when the offer expires.” 

( @celestialdvst ) 

[anxious-amethyst]

These days, I’ve taken to asking Google a lot of my questions. The questions I can’t ask anyone else. Not because they won’t know the answer, which they likely won’t, but because they are hard questions. Deeply personal to each being. Some random when something I’ve watched or read triggers a bizarre thought process. A lot of them have become existential in nature. I’ve become existential. If I were to pick up Franz Kafka’s The Metamorphosis right now, I’d probably be able to actually get through it this time and understand where he’s coming from. My brain relates that to being bad. In my senior year of high school, I found Mr. Kafka to be downright bizarre and depressing. I took a greater liking to Kurt Vonnegut and Mary Shelley. Thus making Slaughter-House Five and Frankenstein high on my list of favorite classics. But I can no longer laugh at him and his crisis. I’m fucking having one.

In my last therapy appointment, my therapist helped me make a discovery. A self discovery to be precise. I’m negative. Cynical. Many of those who know me, and anyone who has read my previous posts would likely go “No, shit.” And I’m aware that I’m negative, but I didn’t know just how deep it went. Farther than 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea if you ask me. No, I have not read that book or watched that movie. Was never interested, but it makes for good humor. Negative Level? Over 9,000. The way I perceive things and take in information. The way I process conversations, situations, expressions, etc; ends up on the negative side of life. I begin to be defensive. Another self discovery that I made last week, I begin to ruminate. 

I ruminate a fuck ton. Even when I am unaware. For example, I could be playing Minecraft and absentmindedly digging when I finally realize that I was dwelling on a subject again and really just digging into that instead of the virtual dirt. Current events and my existential crisis appear to be my mind’s favorite subject matters for rumination. Unlucky for me. The way our Earth is heading and the disgusting hell that my country, the United States, has become; weigh on my mind, heavily. I begin to go down a separate, but all too familiar negative spiral. The hopeless one. On this spiral there is only one end result, one way for me to achieve peace and avoid pain.. death. The protocols for the action-plan-that-isn’t-even-a-plan are as follows:

- In the event of a zombie apocalypse, end your life.

- The political state has become increasingly frustrating. Should humanity lose 98% of its compassion, women become completely oppressed once again, Trump wins the 2020 elections, the police go bat shit crazy, and any other events that arise from such a climate, end your life. More than 4 things must be met at once.

- If you are not better than where you were at the end of 2018 and beginning of 2019, by 2020, end your life.

There are probably less frequent protocols that my mind regularly checks on this spiral, but I can’t remember them. The horrid thing is, once a person thinks about death, they will always think of it. And once a person gets to a certain point where suicide becomes the third option in their life plan, the other two being continue to go downhill or get better, it will always remain there. So, my mind ruminates on death everyday.

Question for Google: If a person bleeds out and dies, does their pacemaker draw out their death?

Google: https://www.mypcnow.org/blank-fne00

TL;DR: Chances are, it does not prolong suffering. 

Another thing I am aware about myself is my horrid reaction time to change. Depression and anxiety increase in periods where something in my life has changed and it effects the way things are done, or the way I see things, or any other significant change to how things use to be. Knowing of a coming change ahead of time does not help. I then ruminate on that knowledge and become increasingly anxious and agitated. I am way behind those my age on the normal path of life. No job, no college degree, no money, no will to live I suppose.

Question for Google: What is normal?

Google: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200911/what-is-normal

(Truly enlightening to read, I recommend you do.)

TL;DR: “People afflicted by disabling panic or depression may fully embrace the disease model. A diagnosis can restore a sense of wholeness by naming, and confining, an ailment. That mood disorders are common and largely treatable makes them more acceptable; to suffer them is painful but not strange.”  <-- ME

There is no one normal. Normal varies person by person and by accepted behaviors in society. Even psychiatrists and psychologists cannot say what is truly normal.

Change is scary to me. It changes my normal. I don’t appear to be like other people my age, therefore I feel abnormal. The slightest flaw sends me scurrying to my mom, or my therapist, or Google, out of anxiety and the need to know if I’m okay. Often times I find that many people experience the flaw that I felt was abnormal. Sometimes I find that its not healthy, however, and then I make a plan to talk with my therapist or mother about it. Close friends and family have said many times this past month that they see me getting better. I don’t know how that is possible. Perhaps it is because of all the revelations about myself that I am making and my need to prevent them from continuing as they have all been harmful in my eyes. i.e. ruminating to the point of extreme depression lows and suicidal thoughts, picking up both positive and negative aspects of something, but more often than not, when involving me directly or indirectly, choosing to focus more on the negative. There is a part of me, I don’t know how large, that doesn’t want to get better. I only know that it is a strong force. Getting better would mean having to relearn and rediscover so many things. It would mean a drastic change to my normal. For me, not a day goes by that I don’t mention having depression or anxiety as a reason for why I am the way I am. These intense emotions are my normal and they are my crutches. While not easy to live with and breathe with and smile with, they seemingly make other things easier. They can be an excuse at times. I cannot imagine myself without them. I have had varying degrees of these ailments my whole life. The more developed my brain becomes, the worse they become. I believe it’s because I understand more and am able to pick up on things a younger me would have missed. Even now, with my mental situation, I do not know who I am. There are times, when the depression physically hurts my heart, that I want to rip my skin off. I imagine myself just grabbing and tearing the skin from my face and neck and then the rest of my body. Getting rid of this terrible self. That somehow it will reveal the true me. I struggle to not cut my face. As if the act of slicing my face and watching it bleed will somehow fix things. But logic tells me that I will only regret the ugly scar later on and not to do it. So I don’t, but I get angry because I want to. Who the hell am I, why the fuck am I this way, and what am I supposed to do? Will I ever do it? Is it even possible to get better? Do I want to get better? I don’t know. And that drives me crazy.

Question for Google: Who am I?

Google: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/shift-mind/201006/who-am-i

TL;DR: Ask instead, how do I want to experience life?

[inking-my-splatzone]

Rules: Answer 21 questions and then tag 21 people who you want to get to know better.

Tagged by: @splat-tendency and @sonic-toon Holy shit two different people! This is the most popular I’ve ever been since... ... ... This is the most popular I’ve ever been!

Nickname: Any actual nicknames based off of my real name that people call me I hate. Would alternatively love it if you called ‘Kafka’. A name I took from my favourite book Haruki Murakami’s Kafka on the Shore and also from how consistently my depression makes me feel like I’m living in a Franz Kafka novel... but that’s just me being hopeful.

Zodiac: Virgo

Height: 5′7″! I swear I’m not 5′6″! I grew that extra inch finally... I think. (That probably makes me sound a whole hell of a lot younger than I actually am haha)

Last movie I saw: Blue Mountain State: The Rise of Thadland.

Last thing I googled: I tried to look for somewhere to watch series 2 of Ricky Gervais’ ‘Derek’ since channel 4 didn’t have it online and I don’t have Netflix.

Favourite Musician: I have fucken LOADS but my favourite band is Zebrahead above all else!

Song stuck in my head: Now that I think about it ... there’s none. In like 5 minutes I’m sure I’ll have something stupid stuck in there though.

Other blogs: Used to have an old one but when I started to post more splatoon stuff on it I decided to just make a splatoon dedicated account... but accidentally deleted all the posts on that other blog I had since 2011... it’s still open but I don’t use it and wont say its name~ sad times though. I will at some point make a blog for the story of ink-182. I fucken swear I will!!!!!

Do I get asks?: Well since messages don’t count as asks *cough cough* then I’d have to say... nope. None. Not one. Not even once.

Following: 700

Followers: 126... but its more like 10 and the rest are bots :’)

Amount of Sleep: Last night I slept for like 11 hours! ... 3 hours the night before though. 7 on a good day - err, night.

Lucky Number: Number’s aren’t lucky .-.

What I’m wearing: Dressing gown and boxer shorts Pajamas. 

Dream Job: Semi-successful musician. Not big but earns enough to live and perform the sad songs I write Something actually uses my qualifications. I do want to work in the education sector and help provide support provisions for non-English speaking learners of all ages in U.K education. That and become a university lecturer.

Dream Trip: I wanna go to Finland! Fuck, I could do that right now honestly so I guess it’s not the biggest goal but I want to go a whole heck of a lot! That and Japan, but more for practical reasons since I intend to teach English there for a little while but going before hand would be a good boon for my application... whenever I get around to it.

Favourite Food: I want Bulgogi and Ddeokbokki holy shit!

Play any instruments?: Guitar. I also try to sing. Varying levels of success, but that does include some success!

Languages: English. Learnt Korean for two years but my beautiful teachers at the time were a bit of a distraction for learning haha. Learning Finnish slowly. Very Slowly.

Favourite songs: I’ll just list other artists outside of my favourite from the previous question and you guys can legit just chose any song and I’ll love it. American Football. Angels and Airwaves. The Beatles. Blink-182 (pre-Matt Skiba). Bloody Knees. Cream. The Front Bottoms. Gary Numan. Girl’s Generation. Iron Maiden. Less Than Jake, Man with a Mission. Metallica. Owen. Reel Big Fish. Sakanaction. Sum-41. TTNG (/This Town Needs Guns). ->I’ll stop there before I go on forever.

Random Fact: I have so many physical manga that they cannot fit on any of my shelves. So, instead they occupy the space under my desk where my legs and feet should go and I have to sit side-on, which is terrible for my posture. Been collecting manga since I was 13 or 14 and the started with Rosario + Vampire. I cannot even begin to estimate the cost value of all the manga I have. My current favourite is Citrus. bought volumes 1 and 2 at the first ever comicon I went to about 5 years ago maybe, been getting each volume as they come out. I tried my best not to read the ending online but I caved in the end.

Describe yourself as aesthetic things: Crows. Summer rain. Train rides. Books. Libraries. Coffee. Leather Jackets. Craft beer. Music venues. London.    (I think I just described a day out on my own)

Tag your 21 people: Okay. So this part gives me genuinely high anxiety so instead of tagging people I’ll just say that, if you’re reading this and you and I interact - you people know who you are and I love you guys - consider yourself tagged by me. It’s just incredibly hard to bring myself to name drop anyone. Please understand.

[bearsgrove]

i hate all these kafka quotes always floating around on this website. not because i hate the quotes themselves, i like those and can relate to them, i just hate how many notes they have and it's always oh kafka this kafka that it's so relatable oh we are all so depressed and tortured oh us poor little tumblrinas wahwah

and i'm seething here with rage for no goddamn reason like. you understand nothing. i have nothing in common with you but i hate that i find the quotes so relatable for me personally and then it's like fucking eeeeeveryone and their mother finds it relatable too. yeah right. fuck you. no one fucking understands me and no one ever will and i have nothing in common with anyone i hate this website so much sometimes SO much full of condescending little smartasses thinking they know everything better than everyone because they are on tumblr the most enlightened website there is you guys are all soooooo unique and wise for relating to kafka’s “i felt nothing today” on february 22 with 50k notes

[thirteenreasonswhyimagines]

Zach Dempsey #3

Request: Request: Can you make and imagine which Zach is depressed after Hannah’s death (being a reason of her death) and all these secret stuff, reader is taking care of him like a little baby and make him happy as always. Zach is so happy to have her in his life and saying this often. thanks xx A/N: You guys are seriously crazy. Thank you so much for 325 follower already. I love you! xx

If you ever feel depressed, please reach out to someone. As soon as you start talking, it will get better! I promise!

These tapes. These goddamn tapes. I get why Hannah did what she did and how these tapes are part of it but still. They cause nothing but trouble for everyone.

Especially now that Clay has them. Everyone’s freaking out and I have no idea how long it will take until everything goes down.

And the fact that Zachary Shan-Yung Dempsey, the boy that I love more than anything in this world, was on tape seven on this tapes makes everything even harder. As soon as he realized Hannah recorded these tapes he told me everything. Starting with the night at Rosie’s after Marcus stood her up, over that Dollar Valentine thing, right up to the compliment bag and the letter. Shortly after I found out about everyone else as well. Justin. Alex. Jessica. Marcus. And most importantly: About Bryce. It was a shock but it happened and being miserable over it wouldn’t help anyone. So I accepted the fact and carried part of Zach’s guilt with me.

“Hey Y/N, have you seen Zach? He wasn’t at practice today.”, Justin suddenly approaches me during lunch and I look up from my book after a few seconds. He looks miserable, probably spend another night at Bryce’s getting high and drunk. So many thoughts consume my mind and I really want to yell all of them into Justin’s face but something keeps me from doing it. Zach. It’s unlikely for him to skip practice, especially while doing so incredible good this year.

“No I haven’t but I will find out. He told me he’d be here…”, I shut Kafka’s ‘metamorphosis’ and stuff the book into my bag. “Thanks…and..he is really sorry. Take care of him.”, he adds and I nod silently before I grab my bag and leave the cafeteria without another look or word. I have to take care of my boyfriend now, more than ever.

As I walk over the schoolyard I take my phone out of my pocket and hold on to it for a moment. The sun is shining bright today and I can feel little sweat beads gather in my neck. My shirt starts sticking on my bag and I immediately regret wearing a black one today. I sigh and look down on my phone while walking over to my car, dialing Zach’s number meanwhile. Sometimes it was way too hart to handle for me. His sadness started to consume me too and stayed. But Zach is much worse than I am right now, so I have to be there for him.

“Y/N?”, Zach picks up on the other end of the line and I flinch, because hearing his voice came quiet unexpected after all.

He sounds tired. Like he hasn’t slept in a while and his voice leaves some sort of aftertaste in my mind. “Yeah..hey. Where are you? Justin said you weren’t at practice.”, I ask while opening my car and slide onto the drivers seat. I put Zach on speaker while adjusting the phone at the holder. “So what? Who cares anyway?” “I care. A lot, actually.? So where the fuck are you, Dempsey?”, my engine starts and I sigh before I drive out of the parking lot. “Home.” “Fine. I’ll be there in ten.”, with that I hang up and drive as fast as I can over to Zach’s. Before I head over to his place I make a quick stop at Rosie’s and get some burgers and milkshakes before I finally drive up the street to the Dempsey mansion.

Ten minutes later I arrive at his house and park my car behind his Audi. I turn of the engine and just sit there for another 3 minutes, making up my mind about Zach. Him being depressed is understandable but I need to get him over it.

It’s just not healthy for him. Shaking my head to focus again I open my door and step outside. Ringing the doorbell I foolishly start adjusting my hair and straighten my shirt while waiting for him to open up. And when he finally does and I can see his face, I know exactly that he indeed is more than sorry for what happened. Seeing him like this….not shaved for at least 4 days and with messy hair I can only imagine his pain.

“Can I come in I bring food and myself as company?”, I smile lightly to comfort him and he nods before he steps aside and lets me enter the house. Thank god his mom lives here to clean up or otherwise I don’t want to imagine what this place must look like. “Why are you here? Don’t you have school?”, he looks at me, arms crossed and I drop my bag while looking at him. “I do. But you’re much more important than classes..”, my voice is soft and I wipe some hair out of my face. “So how are you doing?”

“Not good. I caused Hannah her life, Y/N. Because I was stupid and acted like a child. I never meant to hurt her by taking her compliments.”, he shakes his head and I nod while I take a step closer to him. “I know, Zach. That’s why you kept the letter, right? Because you felt bad?”, I ask and he nods before taking a step closer too. “Hannah killed herself and I am part of it. This is on me, because of what I did..”, he whispers and suddenly I can see tears streaming done his face.

He is crying. Zach Dempsey is crying.

“Shit, Zach.”, I finally give in and close the distance between us while walking over to him and wrapping my arms around him.

For a while I just hold him until he finally wraps his arms around me too and pulls me even closer. “It’s okay. I am here.. And Hannah killed herself because of a lot of things. You can’t keep blaming yourself alone for that.”, I whisper and look up to him before I wipe away his tears. “How do I deserve you?” “Because I love you, Zach. And you’re a good guy. You really are.”

An hour later we lay on his bed together and my head is resting on his chest while he rubs my back slightly.

“You need anything? More Food? Drinks? Sex?”, I ask and he laughs before he shakes his head and pulls me closer to his chest. “Right now I only need you. You’re the best thing in my life and I am so glad I have you in it.”, he sighs and presses a soft kiss on my lips. “Zach you said that like a dozen times for the last hour.”, I chuckle and he shrugs his shoulders while looking at me. “You know, I’d really like to reconsider my offer about the sex.”, he grins and I flip on my stomach while laughing. “Honey, I am totally up for that!” “Oh how lucky am I to have you in my life!”

Zach and I are going to be fine. It will take a while and comfort but he will get over it.

[wattsyslaments]

Tag game <3

@anny-wandering-intp very kindly tagged me so let’s do this

1. How has your opinion of yourself changed over the years? I respect and like myself a lot more now, so I make better decisions regarding friendships and stuff like that

2. If you had to pick one book to read for the rest of your life, whick book would you pick? Hmm, probably something long like Kafka on the shore by Murakami Haruki :D

3. What’s your favourite season? Do you have a reason for liking it? It’s spring without doubt. I always get depressed during winter bc of the lack of sun and warm, so spring is like salvation

4.What’s your favourite thing to do when you want to relax? Read and/or scrolling through tumblr

5.Do you consider yourself lazy? Hah, noooo (yes, yes, f**** yes, I’m terrible and in my next life I want to be a cat who just lies around all day)

6. What’s your view on morality? As a law student I think that an inflexible system with rigid rules and principles is the safest way to make monsters out of humans (so yeah, a practical morality is the best in my opinion. Nothing too rigid)

7. When are you most productive? The night before the deadline. Yeah. Sometimes I hate myself

8.Do you have any strong opinions about things most people don’t think about? Hm, I don’t know, I’m sure I have but right now I can’t think of anything :/

9.How do you handle stress? I don’t eat anything when I’m stressed. I know, very healthy, super mature…

10. What would your ideal world be like? I’m very happy with where I am now, so it would look like this with more puppies, cats and parrots. And with a manga panel where Seb says “Fuck this shit I’m out” I need it.

My questions: 1. Which song is your guilty pleasure? (I know you have one, don’t deny it) 2. If you could be with anyone for two hours, who would you choose and what would you do? 3.What’s your favourite word? (from english or from anywhere else?) 4.What’s one story (written, drawn, animated etc) that you always find yourself going back to? 5. What’s one thing that you would change in the world? 6. Are there any monsters under your bed? 7. Are you a morning person or a night owl? 8.Describe yourself with only three words! 9. Describe someone who is very important to you in three words! 10. Ask yourself something that you’d like to answer to :) I never know who likes to do these tag thingies, so I tag all of my followers to do this if they want to (just make sure to tag me, so I can see your answers

[agallonofmilky]

every number except 44

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Souncloudis your room messy or clean?Messy afwhat color are your eyes? Bluedo you like your name? why?irl name? sortawhat is your relationship status? singledescribe your personality in 3 words or lessdepressive lazy assholewhat color hair do you have?ehhhhhwhat kind of car do you drive?color?the one that goes where do you shop?at the storehow would you describe your style?i love pink and cute stuff thats itfavorite social media accounttumblrwhat size bed do you have? singleany siblings?yeah a sisterif you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?canada probably because its way more fucking calm favorite snapchat filter? face swapfavorite makeup brand(s)i dont use makeup how many times a week do you shower?oncefavorite tv show?atm?idkshoe size?43(convert it you dingus)how tall are you?185 cm or 6'1sandals or sneakers?sandals do you go to the gym?not regularly describe your dream datei hug them the whole time and we eat food. im a simple man.how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?20 liras(5 usd)what color socks are you wearing?black atm how many pillows do you sleep with?i have a bed filled with pillows do you have a job? what do you do?i used to how many friends do you have?irl? zero. internet? a fuck ton whats the worst thing you have ever done?i was born does that count? whats your favorite candle scent?hmmmm...idk man  3 favorite boy namesidk honestly3 favorite girl namesJenny, Jillian(boi u have a very cool soundin name) , Jessie (what can i say, i like the letter j i guess)favorite actor? Nic cage(jk jk its probably dwayne johnson or terry crews)favorite actress?that lad who played hermione was rad who is your celebrity crush?nic cagefavorite movie?idk atm its moana prolly do you read a lot?books? never heard of 'em whats your favorite book? idk maybe franz kafka -metamorphosismoney or brains? why not both?do you have a nickname? what is it?ulti typhlosion, ulti buddy , buddy, ulti, ultibutt, ultim80( @sailor-caesium whaddup) how many times have you been to the hospital?countless timestop 10 favorite songs1-the big black -the quick brown fox2-wonderlust- the quick brown fox3-Banned Forever - Renard4-owl city- fireflies 5-Carne Vale - homestuck6-Do you believe in magic - The lovin' spoonful7-Dragonforce - through fire and flames8-Necmiye Hanim- Dagda kuzu9-Noma- Brain Power10-Sunstroke project- Run awaydo you take any medications daily?no atm what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)oily how many kids do you want? one and a half(jk i want like, three)whats your go to hair style?no opinion but i like having messy hairwhat type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) 2 floors so i guess small but we have a lot of rooms so who is your role model? @8owties and @potoobrigham what was the last compliment you received?You're adorable! by @magicnotradioactive what was the last text you sent?"if i must die let it be in the ass"how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?i never believed in that lad we didnt have that kinda shit in turkey what is your dream car?Volkswagen Beetle but with a good engine and some modifications opinion on smoking?i dont caredo you go to college?will what is your dream job?being an animator  would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? rural i guessdo you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?no but i take those small ketchup and sauce boxes from mcdonaldsdo you have freckles? nahdo you smile for pictures?dependshow many pictures do you have on your phone? 2097have you ever peed in the woods?yup i did do you still watch cartoons?yeah boi do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?we dont have wendy's here but i love mcdonaldsFavorite dipping sauce?bbq sauce master race what do you wear to bed?anything  have you ever won a spelling bee?a what(i never joined them bad luck i guess) what are your hobbies?drawing, hoping for the day inevitable death comes as fast as possible , watching animecan you draw?no next question do you play an instrument?no but i wanna play the transverse flutewhat was the last concert you saw? oh man it was very old i dont remember tea or coffee?next questionStarbucks or Dunkin Donuts?never went to dunky boysdo you want to get married?yeah man what is your crush’s first and last initial?i dont have a crush atmare you going to change your last name when you get married? nowhat color looks best on you?im not sure but i like the old and dirty look so dark green tones and brown together do you miss anyone right now?i miss an internet bro but i dont wanna bother them twice in a post do you sleep with your door open or closed?dependsdo you believe in ghosts?nah manwhat is your biggest pet peeve?when someone says something over and over again or stay behind me and watch me whe i do something last person you called`my momfavorite ice cream flavor?idk maybe vanilla or caramel or melon regular oreos or golden oreos? regular chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?none please what shirt are you wearing?lets pass this i dont wanna explain what is your phone background?papi the harpy being a cutieare you outgoing or shy?HHEHHEHEHEH shydo you like it when people play with your hair?n o (not unless im ok with it atm)do you like your neighbors?there is this guy who wasted a whole year trynna convert a bus to a van they have my respect do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?yeahhave you ever been high?not actually but i had a lot of moments where i was acting high unknowingly have you ever been drunk?i drank alcohol but i havent been drunk last thing you ate? macaronifavorite lyrics right now"i dont want to set the world on fire,i just want to start a flame in your heart"summer or winter?winter day or night?night dark, milk, or white chocolate?milk favorite month? june because school endswhat is your zodiac signAradia who was the last person you cried in front of? my mom and my sister and if i remember correctly, my dad(we were watching a movie and i couldnt hold it(hachiko y'all))(i did this on mobile test me binch)

[g1nger-snappd]

Waterstones 20th Century Lit

Because i saw someone else had done this and thought it looked like a fun game (also with a really incomplete commentary on some of the books)

1. J.R.R. Tolkien - The Lord of the Rings - fab, wonderful fantasy, everyone knows the story 2. George Orwell - 1984 - wasn’t a fan, but maybe because i read it when i was about 13 and just didn’t get it 3. George Orwell - Animal Farm - far preferred to 1984 (but maybe because i was a nmore appropriate age) 4. James Joyce - Ulysses - i read an excerpt once, does that count?! i’ll get there, someday, maybe 5. Joseph Heller - Catch-22 - can confirm not worth it. honestly what was the point heller? why??? 6 J.D. Salinger - The Catcher in the Rye - loved it 7. Harper Lee - To Kill a Mocking Bird - i know, i know im at uni and i haven’t read to kill a mocking bird shame on my family shame on my cow and all that but i keep finding other things to read first.  8. Gabriel Garcia Marquez - One Hundred Years of Solitude 9. John Steinbeck - The Grapes of Wrath - i liked of mice and men so it’s on the list 10. Irvine Welsh - Trainspotting - rate this book so much, its great, but be prepared for scots dialect 11. Jung Chan - Wild Swans 12. F. Scott Fitzgerald - The Great Gatsby - on the list 13. William Golding - The Lord of the Flies 14. Jack Kerouac - On the Road - DID NOT LIKE, they hitchhike across america spreading their misogynistic anger and depression and then they do it again. WHY??? 15. Aldous Huxley - Brave New World 16. Kenneth Grahame - The Wind in the Willows 17. A.A. Milne - Winnie the Pooh 18. Alice Walker - The Colour Purple 19. J.R.R. Tolkien - The Hobbit - LOTR is here, why is this here too? 20. Albert Camus - The Outsider - had a hot minute with french existentialism, it was great, can recommend  21. C.S. Lewis - The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - not trying to be edgy or anything but the horse and his boy was my fave narnia book 22. Franz Kafka - The Trial - saw a play of the trial and its on the list 23. Margaret Mitchell - Gone With the Wind 24. Douglas Adams - The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - film can get fucked but the radio show was great, next task see if dirk gently makes for a good book 25. Salman Rushdie - Midnight’s Children - also on the list 26. Anne Frank - The Diary of Anne Frank 27. Anthony Burgess - A Clockwork Orange - would recommend esp if you like a bit of gore with your moral ambiguity (not sure how much any of it is morally ambiguous as opposed to just morally bad) 28. D.H. Lawrence - Sons and Lovers 29. Virginia Woolf - To the Lighthouse 30. Primo Levi - This Is a Man - on the list 31. Vladimir Nabokov - Lolita - i started reading it and then had exams and didn’t pick it up again but i keep meaning to 32. Iain Banks - The Wasp Factory 33. Marcel Proust - Remembrance of Things Past - it’s the Madeleine book, not sure if i’ll bother though 34. Roald Dahl - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory 35. John Steinbeck - Of Mice and Men - did enjoy that one 36. Toni Morrison - Beloved 37. A.S. Byatt - Possession 38. Joseph Conrad - The Heart of Darkness - it’s on my bookshelf at uni, i’ve almost started it 39. E.M. Forster - A Passage to India 40. Richard Adams - Watership Down - reading about dying rabbits just doesn’t sound like my idea of a good time ngl 41. Jostein Gaarder - Sophie’s World 42. Umberto Eco - The Name of the Rose 43. Gabriel Garcia Marquez - Love in a Time of Cholera - on the list 44. Daphne du Maurier - Rebecca - i read it at school with the craxiest english teacher i ever had, and not in a robin williams dead poets kind of way, in a waved hockey sticks and threw things at students kind of way 45. Kazuo Ishiguro - The Remains of the Day 46. Milan Kundera - The Unbearable Lightness of Being - i downloaded it on my phone 47. Sebastian Faulks - Birdsong - eddie redmayne was good in the bbc production, should probably read the book sometime  48. E.M. Forster - Howard’s End 49. Evelyn Waugh - Brideshead Revisited - given my preoccupation with all things gay i should read it 50. Vikram Seth - A Suitable Boy - but it’s sooooo loooong 51. Frank Herbert - Dune 52. John Irvine - A Prayer for Owen Meaney 53. Patrick Süskind - Perfume - has been recommended a few times, guess i’ll get there some point 54. Boris Pasternak - Doctor Zhivago 55. Mervyn Peake - Gormenghast - not actually the biggest fantasy fan and it kind of sounds too far out for me 56. Laurie Lee - Cider with Rosie 57. Sylvia Plath - The Bell Jar - i love plath’s poetry, so really a no brainer that i will read it somepoint 58. Margaret Atwood - The Handmaid’s Tale 59. Vera Brittain - Testament of Youth 60. John Fowls - The Magus 61. Graham Greene - Brighton Rock 62. Robert Tressell - The Ragged-Trousered Philanthropists 63. Mikhail Bugakov - The Master and Margarita - i legit think this is my mum’s fave book. can’t count the number of times shes told me to read it 64. Armistead Maupin - Tales from the City 65. John Fowles - The French Lieutenant’s Woman 66. Louis de Bernières - Captain Corelli’s Mandolin 67. Kurt Vonnegut - Slaughterhouse Five 68, Robert Persig - Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance - sounds intriguing  69. E.M. Forster - A Room with a View 70. Kingsley Amis - Lucky Jim - on the list 71. Stephen King - It 72. Graham Greene - The Power and the Glory 73. Stephen King - The Stand 74. Erich Maria Remarque - All Quiet on the Western Front 75. Roddy Doyle - Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha 76. Roald Dahl - Matilda 77. Bret Easton Ellis - American Psycho 78. Hunter S. Thompson - Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas 79. Stephen Hawking - A Brief History of Time - the thing about physics is that it needs maths for it to make sense, why take the maths out? 80. Roald Dahl - James and the Giant Peach 81. D.H. Lawrence - Lady Chatterley’s Lover 82. Tom Wolfe - The Bonfire of the Vanities 83. Delia Smith - Complete Cookery Course - i’m counting it as i cook from it frequently 84. Brian Keenan - An Evil Cradling 85. D.H. Lawrence - The Rainbow 86. George Orwell - Down and Out in Paris and London - whoever wrote this list had a thing for orwell 87. Arthur C. Clarke - 2001: A Space Odyssey 88. Gunter Grass - The Tin Drum 89. Alexander Solzhenitsyn - A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich - i really enjoyed writing my sixth form coursework on ivan denisovich, good book and food is a key theme (can confirm) 90. Nelson Mandela - Long Walk to Freedom - on the list 91. Richard Dawkins - The Selfish Gene 92. Michael Crichton - Jurassic Park - legit didn’t know this was a book 93. Lawrence Durrell - The Alexandria Quartet - i’m in the middle of reading it right now (also if you haven’t seen the durrells josh o’connor as larry is a mood) 94. Alan Paton - Cry the Beloved Country - on the list 95. Nick Hornby - High Fidelity 96. Roddy Doyle - The Van 97. Roald Dahl - The BFG 98. Anthony Burgess - Earthly Powers 99. Robert Graves - I, Claudius - anything to do with the tv show anyone know? 100. Nicholas Evans - The Horse Whisperer

23/100 - lets get on that then

[stipulatedconflict]

Band interview with NEGATIV(Oslo/Norway)

NEGATIV from Oslo, Norway

 NEGATIV is a new hardcore punk from Oslo. This band makes me feel that it will bring something exiting to the Oslo punk scene which is not just about Oslo punk scene but it is more involvements from punk scene in other countries. It’s maybe also by the vocalist Skunk’s own hard works for label and bookings, and NEGATIV is deeply involved in it as well. Thus this band makes me feel something will happen! I have seen them couple of times and the latest one was at Barrikaden with SIEVEHEAD. Once they started playing, the band immediately grabbed the entire atmosphere in the moldy underground space and delivered its manic primitive energy thoroughly. Their sound is based on 80s hardcore with weird mixture of Scandinavian hardcore punk, some Japanese flavor, light distorted guitar sound which sometimes sounded even rockin and the edge of thrash hardcore. Their groove is undulated with its manic groaning vocal but still has some sharp edge of thrash hardcore here and there. Their groove completely smashed the space and whole live space was undulated by the crowds and its sweaty moist heated air. It was a great show.

This time I could get a chance to interview them.

  Check their sound Here:

 Bandcamp: https://negativ1010.bandcamp.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/endlessnegativityoslo/

  Interview start from below;

  -So, who is in the band? is there any band which any of you have played or been playing before or currently playing beside NEGATIV?

Skunk: I do vocals, me and Sig used to scream against each other in JENKEM WARRIORS before and I'm also part of a noisy hardcore band called INTERNT OPPGJØR. Sig used to play drums in DISCUNT and has a electro band called HYSJ.

Møkk(Kenneth) plays guitar and has been in bands since I wore diapers, MORTE CEREBRALE, 2:20 and currently KNUSTE RUTER just to name a few!

Our drummer; Erik has probably had the most musical projects than I can count! He originates from Death Metal but is very comfortable with anything rockin' and-a-rollin and grabs punk songwriting better than most; maybe it's because he's so untouched by all the genre-wanking bullshit that's been going on. I think his most noticed band was FILTHDIGGER, he also had a hardcore band called STRUKTURELL VOLD which is coming out on 7" sometime this year..

  -Is there anyone who is involved in any DIY punk activities like running label, writing zines, taking pictures, designing, organizing shows etc in NEGATIV?

Skunk: Møkk is the mastermind and fingers behind ENDLESS STUDIO which is where we record and practice, we just moved into a new space so it's still under renovation. I'm gonna do my label work from there as well.

Sig has always been super busy with Queer and LGBTQ activism in Oslo and used to be the editor of the feminist radio RadiOrakel!

Erik does sound on a regular basis in our squatted venue; Barrikaden.

I've been running a small hardcore-punk label for about six years now called BYLLEPEST DISTRO and been doing booking at Barrikaden for pretty much the same amount of years. I've done sporadic designs for covers and posters but wouldn't really consider myself a designer in any sense. Just a complete hc-punk dweeb who spends too much time on punk stuff.  

We all do shows!

  -How did NEGATIV start in the beginning? how did all of you get together?

Skunk: Me and Sigrun had some aspirations to start a japanese-style hardcore band in the veins of stuff like GAI, EEL, LEBENDEN TOTEN etc. but had really big problems finding people in Oslo who were interested in playing that primitive and distorted. Sig was supposed to play drums originally, then guitar when Erik joined in on drums. We had our first rehearsal with a complete line-up including MØKK on guitar , which resulted in Sig playing Bass.

Møkk and Erik brought their own inspirations along and it ended up like something completely different! Kenneth wanted to bring influences from Italian 80's hardcore like NEGAZIONE and IMPACT, I think.. Although we try to avoid it I think we can't remain completely untouched by roots of Norwegian hardcore like KAFKA PROSESS , SISTE DAGERS HELVETE etc...

It was a really cold winter and all our other band project were on complete Hiatus.

   -How do you describe the sound of the band by your own words? 

Skunk: I think Sorry State Records described us the best; so I'd rather not describe our sound in my own words! They wrote; "After starting with a primitive SOA-style banger based around a punishing polka beat and snare rolls as jagged as a prison shiv, Negativ settle into a pleasantly thrash-infused take on 80s hardcore." It's originally about the two first songs on our EP; Automatic Thoughts but I think it describes our entire sound pretty well.

It's primitive and banging steadily! Sometimes we jazz out completely into weird atmospheric parts, but it always remain primitive to the bone.

  -Is there any specific bands gave influence/inspiration to the band sound?

Skunk:  Anything 80's hardcore but I think we all come from a bit different directions!

All the mentioned above and so many more! I listen to too many hardcore punk records... For the past year I've been quite inspired by the vocal style in UPRIGHT CITIZENS from Germany and early DEAD ENDS from the Philipines. The foundation for me has always been japanese bands from the 80's though.  Sigrun is mostly inspired by american hardcore , anything from MINOR THREAT to SICK FIX to L.O.T.I.O.N to LIMP WRIST; I know there's also a great deal of EMBRACE and other mid-era SST influences in there... I know for sure that Erik is inspired by the roots of punk like THE GERMS, SEX PISTOLS and BLACK FLAG while Kenneth gets his groves from anything technically aggressive and JIMI HENDRIX!

  -What kind of elements/influences do individual members bring to the band to sounds like NEGATIVE? 

Skunk: Everyone in Negativ are practically professional musicians besides me, Erik brings a lot of discipline and force to the band which makes us evolve faster. He's also the father of the term "S-Beat" which is his most common beat inspired by SLAYER and old school death metal like that, it adds a great foundation for primitive hardcore punk!

Sigrun gives our songs those bass lines that makes the songs stick out, there is always a minimalistic melody or harmony that gives the songs a certain drive. I guess it's from that post-hardcore stuff I mentioned above but I dunno haha! I think Kenneth truly gives us that 80's sound with the way he plays in general and he's also a genius at making simplicity sound massive!

  -How did you decide the band name? Is there any special meaning? something negative?

Møkk: We where talking about how things seemed upside down in the world.

That the ruling class of the world is mentally ill, but they act as they are the healthy ones. That right wing racist tyrants claim the role as victims, while refugees have lost everything, that capitalists are talking about ecology and “saving the world” while they are the ones raping it. When its more hierarchy, social and sexual abuse in the punk community than in the rest of society? What the fuck is going on!?!?! Its upside down isn’t it?! We where thinking of calling us “The Negatives” Like a photo negative. Where everything is inverted. But, since we`re all quite pessimistic, and having more experience with depression and negative thinking than we would like, and the double meaning with the upside down status of things at the moment, we cut it short and went for Negativ. The meaning is the same.

Its no secret that we dig Negative Approach either. Hehe!  

  -How's the punk scene in Oslo?

Møkk: Oooh, its like a roller coaster! Haha! Its ups and downs.. But yeah, oslo is a “bi-polar” city. We usually have very cold, long and dark winters. But still we have hot and sunny summers, the sun is up almost 24/7.

So when the winter is letting go, it seems that people are becoming manic, its good! But its definitely manic. Hehe!

Everything happening at the same time, everybody is ON and its a million things to do.

And of course, people are depressed during the winter. Getting “winter depressed” is as common as getting a cough here..

All that affects the punk scene, how the spirit is, if we are fighting each other or fighting our real enemies, or fighting for keeping our spaces, fighting for a better world. We are a small scene, everybody knows everybody, we aren’t very split into fractions. At least not in the same degree as other cities in Europe where I see more fractions and more homogenic communities. And I feel that the punk scene in Oslo is gonna be a good place to be in the future. Seems like people is starting to see what we have in common, rather than what we don’t have in common with each other. I think it has been a bit of a down period lately, but it looks promising at the moment. But hey! Its the month of May right now and maybe I`m just optimistic and manic at the moment?  

   -How do you think about playing in a band in Oslo?

Skunk:  I think we only played five shows in Oslo during the year we have existed. It's a small city and even though there are always some punk gigs, the quota of local bands is always a variable. We've only done five shows here or so for the past year and we're gonna keep it at a minimum just to keep shit interesting...

The best thing about playing in a band in Oslo would have to be the access to studios, venues etc. We run our own label and studio directly in the center of Grønland and can pretty much play how much/how little we feel like and still be sustainable. I

The worst part is probably that a lot of great bands from Oslo doesn't get recognized abroad because we're so far away from everything and often drown in the shadows of bands from Sweden and Denmark!

  -Which bands are you playing together a lot? any bands you feel sympathy as in a same scene?

Skunk: We played a couple of shows with Terrorstat, they're probably my personal favorites in Oslo. All good mates and half the band played with me and Sig in Jenkem Warriors. Terrorstat is a true freak accident of a fusion between Boston hardcore and Svart Framtid. They always deliver and is just such a hard-working, no bullshit band! All the members are also involved in Punk shit in Oslo outside of the band! Båndtvang is also a sick new noisy gang that I love to bits! Can't wait to see what direction they're heading, but it kinda reminds me of if Crucifucks would play Noise Punk!

We also did a two of our gigs with BLOOD SUCKERS, which is probably the only puristic USHC band in Oslo at the moment. Håvard from that band has put up quite a few gigs for us as well with the SVART SAMTID collective!

  -Is there any bands you feel sympathy for the sound/attitude outside of Norway?

Skunk: First off, I'd have to say Arggh! Fukk! Kill!!! that we played two gigs with in Germany, they've helped us out a lot and are great guys; we are doing a UK tour with  manic D-beaters in Split-Veins in the end of June, Carlos from that band has done some artwork for us and is generally a super sweet guy! We had a good session with PMS 84 in a club in Oslo not long ago and we hope we'll get to do some US shows with them in 2018!

  -Is there any good bands out there in Oslo which we should keep our eyes on in these days?

Skunk: Besides BÅNDTVANG, BLOOD SUCKERS and TERRORSTAT; I would strongly recommend everyone to check out MODERN LOVE, URBANOIA, PURPLE X, and OUTER LIMIT LOTUS! Oslo is not really a big enough scene to segregate genres, so the bands on this list varies from post punk to hardcore to power pop! We all play together!  

  -How do you guys compose songs and lyrics? some specific members are dedicated to it? or more like bring some riffs and developing it by jamming?

Skunk: Most of the flesh on our songs is hammered out by Erik; our drummer; then the rest of us puts our flavor on it. This is not a rule though and I think all of us bring ideas to the table!

  -Have you played outside of Norway?

Skunk: We did a short European tour about 8 months into NEGATIV's existence where we toured Denmark, Germany, Holland and Belgium. We got to meet old and new friends and I think it helped us define how we want to tour in the future.

  -What was the most impressive/unforgettable show NEGATIV had so far?

Skunk: The craziest shit ever for sure was to see the kids in Die Friese, Bremen singing along to our lyrics! I never expected that on our first tour!

  -What was the craziest things you had as NEGATIV?

Skunk: For me it must be the positive receivement we've gotten from the international punk scene. I've been playing in bands for about five years now where we've practically been having to beg for shows; with NEGATIV things've just fallen into place and the record has almost distributed itself. We're getting so many requests for shows, interviews etc. it's actually becoming stressful! We're extremely thankful to the punk community in it's completeness!

  -What is the further plan for NEGATIV?

Skunk: We're just about to embark on a UK Tour with Split-Veins and if things go as planned we wanna record our side for a four way split we're doing in Sheffield! We are also working on material for an LP and would love to tour the US in 2018 if shit go as planned!

Møkk: We just played together for a year, so i have the feeling we have some crazy things happening in the future! Right now there’s just some small stories involving chocolate in Amsterdam, stalking in Copenhagen, Latin American punk sieg-heiling in Rigaerstrasse. So, can`t wait for the real crazy stuff to happen! Haha. Ugh!

  -Is there any specific goal/aim for NEGATIV to achieve?

Møkk: At first it was just a goal to create a vent for frustration. Just to let it out.

The ambition was no ambition. It still is I guess. Some kind of therapy.

Right now we want to make an Album, we have a lot of stuff we want to sing about, and musical ideas to dig into. So no.. No specific goal at the moment.

But that can change as Byllepest Records is making a compilation called “infection”.

I think the goal is to infect society with punk rock. And make punk rock a very dangerous contaminating disease.

 Skunk: Our goal is to keep up the fight and make sure it doesn't end anytime soon! Fight in Progress!!!

[medicalmarijuana-news]

High Horoscopes | February 2017

Now monthly: The HIGH TIMES astrological forecast, complete with strain recommendations!

Ask Aelie anything! Find her on Facebook and Twitter.

ARIES

White is the color of raw cotton, the hair of our grandparents, soft kittens that bounce on toilet paper and Casper the ghost. It is crisp linens, a flag of surrender, racist pointy hats and robes, clouds, and snow. It is the absence of color and yet it contains all colors. It is heavy with implications in society, politics, mythology, psychology and art. It is lighter than air. White is complex, as are you. There is no way through this month without blinding yourself in the bright light of revelation. A woke moment is upon you. Keep a grip on yourself during this time or the white you see could be from the padded cells of a hopefully symbolic sanatorium. Strain recommendation: Green Crack

TAURUS

Brown is the color of hair, eyes, skin, fur, and Mother Earth. It is natural things like tree bark and poop. So much of our living world is brown. It is comforting, organic and wholesome. It is real. It is your color this month. You are incapable of fakeness right now.  You are so you: all over the place, all over your face, inescapably you. Some like it; some don’t. No matter: keep your chin up and get on with the business of doing you, to-the-max. And there is a lot to do. People need telling off, others need inspiring. You’ve been procrastinating but now’s the time to make your mark. You will be heard, believe me. Strain recommendation: Super Blue Dream

GEMINI

Pink is the color of little animal noses, party dresses, cotton candy, some people’s lips, genitalia and skin, a rare steak, a monkey’s butt, a flower. It is sensitive and raw, much like you are this month. Careful not to upset the pinkness of you, your friends and family are walking on eggshells. You are not the strong pink of the women’s march knitted pussy hat: you are the easily offended and hurt by everything light pink of a scraped knee. I send many pink candy hearts your way in hopes that some compassion will ease the sting of this month, but I also offer you a pink ribbon to remind you that many have it much harder than you right now. Strain recommendation: White Rhino

CANCER

Black is the color of hair, of fur, of skin and the night. It is the stuff of myths. It’s powerful and clean, containing all and consuming everything. Like white, it can represent almost anything to anyone, from mourning to fashion, from outer space to the sacred place behind our closed eyes. It holds all colors and is the absolute absence of it. It is taken seriously. You wear the color black on your soul this month. You are everything and nothing. You are the ALL. Rarely are you more capable of achieving what you desire. You have the strength and gravitas to make big things happen. Pick your direction, and GO, GO, GO. Strain recommendation: Tangerine Haze

LEO

Yellow is more than the color of Donovan’s true love’s hair. It is the sun, the moon, the stars and cake. It’s Big Bird and buttercups, jaundice and pee. Most yellow things are as frivolous and carefree as a Tweety Pie eating a banana. Your yellow month has arrived, and I encourage you to make the most of it. Be silly. Speak in nothing more than dad jokes and limericks. Give no fucks. Everything must slide like water off a rubber ducky’s back. You will be forgiven for peeing in the pool because you can’t help it: the cosmos have nothing serious planned for you at all. If something heavy does come down on you, put on your yellow rain coat and take it with a spoonful of golden honey. Strain recommendation: Honey Bananas

VIRGO

Green: nature abounds with vibrant shades of it. Verdant fresh cut grass: that is your smell this month. Spring forward, fresh and awake to all possibility. A brand new mindset is upon you, clean and unjaded. Beware however, green is also the color of gangrene, rot and infection. Keep your health up, take your vitamins and charge forth with the vivacity of a zesty lime. It’s no fun to be that person who refuses to shake hands in cold season, but you’ll have to take the social hit to secure your wellbeing. There is so much to do and this young frog needs to jump! Strain recommendation: Red Headed Stranger

LIBRA

Orange rhymes with nothing and not many things are naturally orange beyond the namesake fruit, pumpkins, some flowers and birds, and those rare freckly-faced beauties. It is a special color because it is somewhat scarce while also being the color of an element central to our survival as a species: Fire. You have an orange aura about you this month. We are, in fact, at the start of the Chinese year of the Rooster; being similarly hued might not be a bad thing. But what does Orange mean to you? Whatever part of you that is absolutely unique is the orange bit, and that’s what’s shining right now. Nurture it, love it, and revel in it.  Be proud to be a ginger! Strain recommendation: Super Silver Haze

SCORPIO

Purple will always be associated with Prince. He, of course, chose it to underscore his Princely name, as it is traditionally the color of the monarchy. I’ve also heard it described as the color of mental instability, dreams, sensuality and pain.  It is somewhat rare in nature though prevalent in objects meant to resemble desirable things: like flavored juice, candies, paintings of sunsets, semi-precious jewels (with the exception of the rare Purple diamond) and hair dye. You can be royal or you can be a reasonable facsimile at a reasonable price. Most people won’t bother to investigate any deeper than what you choose to present on the surface, so either way, it’s your call. Strain recommendation: Blue Dream

SAGITTARIUS

Beige is often knocked as being bland and insipid. Sometimes simple can be good though: it is a staple of a classic wardrobe for example. And beyond fashion, beige fur is a very handy natural camouflage for animals in a desert location. All in all, it is a safe and somewhat boring choice. Some people are beige, as is sand, paper and dry long grasses. If you haven’t guessed, the theme here are things that are mundane; exactly how your month should be—a careful, uneventful, lame month of regular household duties, easy work and a bit of telly before early nights to bed.  You might as well act like you have the stomach flu and only eat weak tea and toast. Take it easy, you need the rest—to heal and to prepare for what’s to come. Strain recommendation: Purple Urkle

CAPRICORN

Blue is the color of almost everything. Ask most people what their favorite color is and they say blue. It’s the stuff of dreams, clear waters and bright skies.  It’s too big to fail; it’s all they said it would be but more; it’s everything but the kitchen sink. It’s overwhelming and calming at the same time. This is your month in a nutshell. Endless streams of paper boats floating on still waters. Hunker down, take it one page at a time, enjoy the breaks, breathe deeply and hug your animals a lot (people are animals too).  By this month’s end you will master the blue, and it will elevate you as reward. Strain recommendation: Blackberry

AQUARIUS

Gray used to be considered depressed, institutional, and monotonous: basically Kafka’s The Trial if it was a color. Then it became the new neutral: accent walls and button down shirts popped up in grays. After that it got kind of cool, like Black’s little sister who’s just old enough to party and is bringing some new Scandinavian friends with her to the museum rave. These days it’s cozy: a fuzzy microfiber blanket and a Weimaraner dog on a rainy day in a beach house. After an eternity as the stalwart color of stalwarts, it has drastically changed personas many times in the last 15 years. What a surprise it has turned out to be. This is your gray time. You are a chameleon, switching up your tactics and tones with the ease of a variety show performer. This should come in handy as you navigate the many worlds you visit this month. Strain recommendation: Panama Red

PISCES

Red is a heavy hitter color—it connotes passion, rage, fear, sex, hell, love, heat, boudoirs and Chinese New Year, Valentine’s Day and clown noses, fire trucks, cherries, hearts and blood. You are dripping in red, my Pisces friends. So many oohs and aahs to be had this month. How exciting, painful, wonderful and terrifying. Brace yourself, eat well, grab whatever sleep you can: a rollercoaster is picking you up from work and a waterjet is dropping you off. A tidal wave is your shower and a cyclone your hair dryer. It’s elderberries and ackee for breakfast, puffer fish for lunch and Sannakji for dinner! But without the risk there is no chance for reward! Strain recommendation: Agent Orange

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