#fuck you all juliette and adam were so cute

[shadowqueenjude]

Crying today cuz I'm a sucker for romance and all of my couples are extremely romantic and half of them never end up together in canon😭😭😭😭😭

[trystcnthorne]

choices li tag game

got tagged by my bff @bryceslahela love u babes <3 (not tagging anyone else i’m lazy)

the freshman series - kaitlyn at first then i dumped her for zig my prince <3

tc&tf - kenna dated val dom dated sei

most wanted - dilf dave and milf sam endgame

rules of engagement - mc dated leo, the brother with elena, party twin with chef mira and loser twin with annoying audrey they deserve each other

endless summer - ESTELABEAR

love hacks - ben… but brooke in my heart

the haunting of bw manor - my ghost gf eleanor

the royal romance - king liam FUCK THE REST! (not u hanakins)

hero - both kenji and eva i’m a whore i fear

high school story - michael harrison

it lives in the woods - i didn’t care for the romances but ava

it lives beneath - again i didn’t care but danni i guess

home for the holidays - fuck this book

red carpet diaries - my queenie victoria

perfect match - hayden was my main damien and alana were my sidechicks i love being a pixel whore

bloodbound - KAMILAH MY GODDESS

veil of secrets - flynn, he repulses me now

america’s most eligible - mackenzie/beautiful contestant. i also did a dump adam for goddess bianca route

desire and decorum - ANNABELLE PARSONS… SUCH AN UNDERRATED ROUTE

across the void - i hate this book so much and the siblings lis but i chose kepler for mc

big sky country - i hate all of them but i chose juliette

the elementalists - shreya mistry

a courtesan of rome - i’ve romanced both syphax and sabina

the heist: monaco - MY PRINCESS SONIA ENEMIES TO LOVERS EXCELLENCE

ride or die - colt kaneko

open heart - jackie varma

passport to romance - i didn’t care abt any of them but i picked marisa

wishful thinking - was whoring between anna jaime and ellen

nightbound - all boring, i chose katherine

platinum - RALEIGH MY BF

sunkissed - eliana flores. barely had scenes but she was so cute

bachelorette party - ash, he was the best of the bunch i fear

mother of the year - levi but i kinda wish i did a thomas route

save the date - simon hendricks. hate this book and justin btw

the royal masquerade - male!asian hunter was very cute but black!female kayden was too gorgeous i can’t

baby bump - mr. convington. i changed his name to james bc clint is a fugly name. i hate this bitch but i hate the mayor even more

hot couture - luz but it should’ve been milf hazel

with every heartbeat - rip dakota 😔🙏

blades of light and shadow - malkins my silly thief <3

witness - FUCK YOU CASSIAN

distant shores - captain edward at first then i chose charlie

the nanny affair - female!latina sam

a very scandalous proposal - black!male simon, he was cute idc

queen b - zoey my princess 🫶

the unexpected heiress - john at first but gemma’s route was too good i love a forbidden romance

my first two loves - noah harris FUCK YOU MASON

ms. match - male!latino jack monroe

rising tides - i blind tapped through the whole book not even kidding so idk who i ended up with

wolf bride - FUCK YOU BASTIEN AND MORGAN

foreign affairs - blaine hayes my poopoo bear 🤭

slow burn - both julia and everett but juliakins my endgame

laws of attraction - GABE MY SEXY AND SMART KING

shipwrecked - boring romance between the captain and mc SNOOZE

wake the dead - all of them but i ended up with eli

surrender - FUCK YOU REAGAN

crimes of passion - TRYSTAN MY FOREVER ANGELBEAR I LOVE YOU

untameable - kit jackson you are a loser

the princess swap - speed tapped through the whole book idc about both lis

the cursed heart - YOU ARE A LITTLE BITCH KIERAN

immortal desires - both cas and gabe but i liked cas a tad bit more

[effei-s]

your fave is a rapist, deal with it (part 2: destroy me)

The tale about three arguments.

tw: mention of sexual assault, victim blaming, rape apologism.

cw: people and their opinions, undermining of sexual assault, rapist POV (because we need to hear his side of the story, aren’t we?).

(all screenshots without un's or up's, it's google translate, but i hope you'll catch the vibe)

So… there are three main “ARGUMENTS” (if you can call them that) when it comes to sexual assault in first book.

“Argument” number one: Warner can feel Juliette’s emotions and therefore he would never done anything she didn’t want him to.

I’ve covered it in previous post, but just a quick reminder: Juliette felt petrified, defenseless, vulnerable, frozen from fear, grief and disbelief, detached from her own body (!!!), incapable of intervening, horrified and, as a cherry on top, she wanted to vomit.

And he, THE EMPATH HIMSELF, didn’t catch any of this????? But he KNEW that she wanted him??? Yeah, how convenient for him and for people who defend him.

“Argument” number two: Juliette pretended to like it and… and apparently it makes it okay???????????? Good to know that there’s NO DIFFERENCE between you giving your money while someone point a gun at your head, and you giving them because you want to (I’m sorry for the comparison, but I really can’t see how else I can get though people who tweet THIS👇👇👇).

She - pretended to like it.

He - THOUGHT that she wanted it.

and this makes it "not a sexual assault" scene how exactly???

Can someone, anyone, help me out with this, because I'm really confused.

And my question remains unanswered.

If someone can explain to me logic behind this shit, I would be really grateful. Because so far I still can't see it.

Well, if it all was just a part of the plan, then I guess she kinda had it coming??? She really shouldn't urge Warner to kiss her.

Oh, and I almost forgot: there’s also “argument” number 2.0 that goes hand-in-hand with the “argument” number 2: Juliette started all of it.

And, again, NO???? Juliette stood there, frozen in fear, for the better part of that chapter, while Warner was groping her and forcing his tongue down her throat. She started kissing him because she realized that it was her last resort, her ONLY CHANCE TO ESCAPE. And, I really can’t believe that I have to spell it out, her “starting” to kiss him doesn’t make this situation consensual in any way.  

I just love how they can't decide is it 'Warner knew she wanted it and that's why it can't be rape' or is it 'Juliette led him in and pretented to like it to get his gun, therefore it's Juliette's fault'.

And, finally, “argument” number three: Warner is really REALLY sorry about what he’s done! He feels horrible and disgusted with himself and he asked for forgiveness!!! He repented!!!  

(well, fuck me, we have our rapist apologist bingo over here; ‘she wanted it subconsciously’, isn’t it cute?)

So, as the tradition goes, let’s read! I’ll cover Destroy me today (who knows, maybe I will change my mind on the subject matter, and maybe Juliette really wanted it, she just was very confused, and maybe Warner is sorry, it’s in his POV after all).

Destroy me.

If it were nothing but sexual attraction I’m sure I would not suffer such unbearable humiliation. But I wanted so much more than her body.

(ch. 2)

That’s a pretty good start for the ‘disgusted with himself’ guy. Yeah, I already can see how sorry he feels, sorry he didn’t get the chance to finish what he started. He feels humiliated because she TRICKED HIM, not because he tried to rape her and it’s a disgusting thing to do.

I am now wholly dependent on whatever will carry me through these next weeks of frustration. Medicine, medics, hours in bed. All this for a kiss.

(ch. 5)

For a kiss, huh? Interesting phrasing I see here. So time goes by, he WHINES A LOT about… everything, to be honest. Especially about Juliette, about how Juliette DARED to choose Adam over him, and how Adam is bad for Juliette, and how Adam would never understand the real Juliette the way Warner understands her (said that guy who can’t tell if Juliette wants to have sex or she fakes it, yeah, he’s the one to talk). And than the ‘kiss’ thing repeats (and my eyebrows rise).

A girl who would try to shoot me dead for kissing her.

(ch. 12)

Ok, but like who’s gonna tell him that Juliette shot him not because he ‘kissed’ her, but because he sexually assaulted her?

I really can’t see how he can apologies to her for assault if he doesn’t think that it was assault. 

Again I have to make a comparison, but it’s like saying ‘I’m sorry I’ve pushed you’, when what you did is broke someone’s leg on purpose. Your apology not gonna mean much??? It’s gonna be empty and performative at best.

I want her to know that I understand now. That I didn’t understand before.

OH REALLY? IS THIS IT? IS THIS IT? Is this gonna be him admitting he did bad thing???? that he was wrong??? and that he’s disgusted with himself and feels guilty???

She and I really are the same; in so many more ways than I could’ve known.

(ch. 18)

Ah, never mind.

Btw, that’s it. Two mentions of sexual assault framed as ‘kissing’ for the entire POV. Yes, I can see how bad and remorseful he feels about it.

Conclusion: we have his POV, we know that he feels little to no remorse about what he’s done overall, he gasps and falls apart and whines A LOT and the most important part: HE DOESN’T EVEN REALIZE THAT HE TRIED TO RAPE HER (and that makes him a stupid rapist).

p.s.: that shit show in ‘unravel me’ deserves its own separate post; boy, oh boy, do I have things to say. 

[diabolikotaku]

Vampire! Yui Komori Headcannons

Sorry it took me like three million years to answer you!

Vampire Age: 17

Human Age: 117

Her father is Seiji Komori, the Vampire King

Goes by Christian name in demon realm: Solomon 

The youngest of four

Her eldest brother Yusuke, her older sister Yuna, her twin brother (who was born 2 hours earlier) Yuito, then Yui.

Yusuke and Yuna are fully Japanese while Yuito and Yui are half East-European

Yusuke and Yuna had a different mother than Yuito and Yui.

Yui has an orthodox name: Anastasia (Anya) Vasiliev

Yuito is Aleksandr (Alex) Vasiliev

Yusuke and Yuna go by catholic names: Jeremias and Juliette Lazarus

Her mother is Natsia Vasiliev

She was a low-class vampire who was filled with greed, so she decided to become a handmaiden at Seiji’s manor in order to seduce him, have his children, and demand money.

After all of her plans failed, she drugged Seiji and raped him

Once she was pregnant, she threaten Seiji to spread all over the demon realm that he committed adultery with a low class demon, unlike his current wife Hanako (Helena Lazarus) if he didn’t give her enough money so she could be comfortable

She didn’t even want to keep her children once she got the money, so she ditched them with Seiji.

Alas, Seiji still loved Yui and Yuito. So he and Hanako kept them nd treated them like family.

She was born with Yuito on June 21, 1901

The reason why she was made the ‘heiress to the Komori throne’ was because Yusuke fell in love with a werewolf (violation of vampire law) and was banished to the Miasma islands in the demon world (it’s just really hot and everything at some weird black miasma around it he’s immune to, he and his wife Yuri are living happily together), Yuna loathed absolutely everything about Seiji and swore to never associate with him or anything involving the vampire throne, and Yuito just calmly passed the responsibility down to Yui.

She couldn’t say no at that point

She has many nicknames in the demon realm, such as: Anya the Blood Heiress, the Trinity Cross, the Rose, etc.

Yui lives by herself in the Komori Manor, with the exception of a few servants.

For someone who’s loaded, you’d think she wouldn’t have to lift a finger.

Nope, she does all of the cooking, gardening, and sometimes cleaning herself

She needs something to do to pass the night time

That’s why she was so happy when Seiji told her that she was having guest staying with her from now on...Until he explained her situation.

Basically, six people with pure blood are sent to the Komori manor as ‘food banks’, one of them is the true blood Adam and will help make her the Eve of the demon realm

She had to pick wisely on who her Adam would be

Nevertheless, she was still happy about not being alone.

Yui has the complete opposite demeanor of what a vampire should act like/are perceived to act like.

Most vampires are sadistic, cruel, unforgiving, wouldn’t look twice at a human, usually arrogant, thinks everyone around them are weak, etc.

Nah, Yui’s all like: smiling, giving kindness to others, being helpful, friendly, caring, motherly, nurturing, equal to everyone, understanding, etc

So that’s why the Sakamaki brothers brushed her off when they first met her.

But now we get into her Sadistic side.

Yui has a completely different personality in her that sleeps, only wakes up to feed or pretty much take control when she feels like it. Sadistic is very much like the typical aristocrat vampire.

Normal Yui hates talking about or when Sadistic wakes up because it means she’ll lose control and Sadistic will destroy the trust she built with her humans.

When Sadistic wakes up, Yui’s eyes turn blood red.

Yui has to watch everything Sadistic does and she can’t take it.

That’s why she tries so hard to get along, have people’s trust, and make up for Sadistic’s words

Yui has some control over Sadistic, that’s why the boys don’t die after Sadistic feeds on them.

she tries to drain them like a juice box!

Yui is very innocent while Sadistic is very nasty and so not innocent if you catch my drift.

Sadistic is fond of punishments

Yui cries as she watches in horror what Sadistic does to the boys.

Has a fox and an owl familiar

The fox is named Xian and the owl is named Fester

Yui’s favorite colors are dusty rose, lilac velvet, pink ruby, and cream.

She’s quite up to date with what’s happening in the modern world.

switches between old-time clothes and modern clothes if not at school.

will sometime say old-time things by accident

still doesn’t own a phone (and Seiji didn’t put a land line in.)

When the Sakamaki brothers first discovered she was a vampire, Subaru was the one to pull out a trinity cross (gift from mother)

She dead ass pulled her rosary from under clothes and smiled, “You have one too? I figured you weren’t too deeply involve with religion by how you act!”

This confused the brothers and resulted in Ayato smacking Subaru up the head.

When she was little, she couldn’t bare to hurt a creature for blood, so she starved herself until her father make her drink blood via transfusions/cups of blood so she wouldn’t die on him.

She stopped doing that when she was around 13 in vampire years, but it always hurt her on the inside to hurt someone for blood.

She really does care for all of the Sakamaki boys, even if they brush her off because she seemed weak or she terrified them.

She helped Ayato find something around to Manor to do as a past time because there was no internet here...Or a phone line.

Gave Reiji the room with the largest study and always 

Showed Subaru where her personal little chapel was so he could pray.

(Even though he would always criticize her about not being right) She would bake sweets when she can for Kanato.

Introduced crossword puzzeles to Laito

Showed Shuu the music room

Yui actually used to play the piano when she was younger, but became rusty

Yuito and Yuna never learned how to play one

Yusuke was an excellent violinist and she always loved to listen to him play

That’s why Yui was happy to hear Shuu knew how to play the violin.

Yui is a hopeless romantic, when she just hit ‘puberty’, she spent all day in the library reading romance novels and dreaming of her ‘one true love’. When she gets the chance to, Yui buys romance novels in town and indulges in them.

Well, she sure gets a selection...

and they’re certainly no prince charming. 

For being this old, she’s bound to have at least one lover in the past, right? You’re correct! She used to spend her time with a human artist back in 1981.

His name was Takizawa Hayato

He taught her how to draw, or at least he tried too. 

Yui’s still pretty bad at drawing people, but she can draw landscapes pretty well.

It only lasted for a little bit when he found out she was a vampire (and he questioned why she stayed the same age as when she met him while he aged). 

Yusuke had to kill him.

Over the years, she learned how to crochet doilies out of pure boredom

And also learned how to sew a bit, you really have nothing to do after years of no internet.

Knows some Russian along with Yuito

Yusuke and Yuna know Italian.

Met Cordelia once

Yui didn’t really like her

Also that one time was when Seiji killed her because of some unknown reason.

If this were formatted like the actual games, then there would be a part in one of the boys’ route where she would lose a lot of her own blood and Seiji would give her a transfusion of Cordelia’s blood. Thus Cordelia becoming one with Yui.

Let’s get into some Otome Game shit :

(We’re going by Haunted Dark Bridal btw)

The best endings:

All: Marriage

maybe kids?

Becoming ‘Adam’

overcoming the shitty parts

Bad endings:

Ayato: Yui gets amnesia and doesn’t remember Ayato, making him crazy.

Kanato: Yui kills Kanato but keeps his corpse as a doll.

Laito: Sadistic becomes the controller of Yui’s body and abuses him for the rest of his days.

Shuu: Yui dies in a fire

Reiji: Yui is killed by Karlheinz

Subaru: Yui locks up Subaru and he is forced to become crazy like his mother.

Routes:

Ayato: Since he is main bae in the original series, there’s gonna be lots of cute things, 

Kanato: i feel like there might be a lot of bonding in this route, of course it’s eventual, but when the time comes Kanato just clings onto Yui. This can help out a little bit with his complex about being the ignored child and help him move on. Possibly help him grow up a little? But then again, we love our man-child.

Laito: ear porn This route could go either ways, it either helps Laito rip away the playboy act and get over his problems about his mother (and him being sexually abused) or it helps him become more...Child-like again? Like before Cordelia fucked him over. 

For the triplets, there might be a discovery arc about why their mother was involved with a family of vampires for some reason.

Shuu: I feel like Shuu’s route would probably be a healing route for him, from being cold, emotionless, tired, and shut-in, to someone who can get over his past. Even though it still lingers, I think Yui helps him out with his ptsd and depression and he gets better throughout the playthrough.

Reiji: The route that holds most of the actual plot. But there is still memorable moments between Reiji and Yui that satisfy the soul and goes over some of Reiji’s issues.

Subaru: Maybe a mix between a healing and a discovery route. Like Subaru finds out his mother was involved with the Komoris somehow and he’s trying to get the answer some how from Yui, the more time they spend together they fall in love and they have to come over some epic plot I can’t think of while he tries to heal after the ptsd of watching his mother suffer her days in that locked cage his father called her room.

All of them will have the main plot of the story, though.

In each route, Yui’s struggles will be revealed.

Ayato: Her mother, definitely 

Kanato: Sadistic’s origins

Laito: Her mother / Struggling with controlling Sadistic

Shuu: Hayato / the depression of being practically immortal.

Watching all of her friends grow old and die while she doesn’t change

being unable to friend humans because of this

generally has been alone her whole childhood besides her family.

etc.

Reiji: being maltreated because of her mother’s intentions

the  other servants knew about this and some of them maltreated Yui harshly.

Subaru: Her self-worth / the fear of hurting those weaker than her

Maybe some other alternative bad endings would be either Yui or one of the boys becoming Yandere over the other person???

There has to be saucy stills because is diabolik lovers, you cannot expect less.

Maybe add a rival to the boys were he’s trying to obtain Yui in order for her to love him or just kill her, idk.

The Komori family is filled with pure-blooded vampires that go back for several generations (well, except Yui and Yuito)

Has a summer home and a winter home. The summer home when the bounty hunters get into town and the winter home for when the war was happening in the city the summer home was located at.

Sadistic formed in her when the servants were abusing her, when Yui had enough Sadistic came over and killed the servants and hid them before Yui ‘woke up’.

The only kind of makeup Yui knows how to do is Victorian-styled.

Makes her own perfumes and makeup from flowers and such

Before this whole ‘Adam and Eve’ stuff, Yui was supposed to get married to a high-class vampire family’s eldest son, but he was killed by Yuito

The son wanted to kill Yui and sell her organs and blood to the lower-class vampires and demons for a price.

sleeps in a regular bed

Locks herself in her room when blood moon arrives because she doesn’t want to hurt anyone during that period of time. 

Sadistic doesn’t come out, this is a whole new monster Yui doesn’t understand.

2nd year

Considered popular by the students, but not ridiculously popular.

Has her fair share of fans

when some girls were trying to intimidate Yui about staying away from the Sakamaki brothers, she just scoffed and told them she can’t avoid them since they live with her.

And she also told them that they wouldn’t be into girls like them, it shut them up real fast.

Helps Subaru and Ayato study (even though it’s a difficult process)

Favorite foods are: fruit tarts, parfaits, and pancakes

wants to have three children

She’s afraid of turning someone into a vampire after the incident with Yuna and a past lover.

Still can’t swim

Follows her father’s orders without a fail.

Including keeping in 6 human boys for food.

Will occasionally take the boys out to the town next to the school.

Feels bad for the boys since they can’t go out often, so she places in vases of flowers to liven up the dark manor.

Somehow, she has met all of the sakamaki mothers one what or another.

Karlheinz actually tried to kill her once, however he was mistaken by Yuito and got badly injured.

That’s all I got for now~

[rambunctiousreader]

Things I need to touch on from Restore Me

so i finished it a couple days ago but I had to get my shit together before I could write this. I finally did so here i am. Let’s get into it

- I know everyone is freaking out about Warner’s hair but like honestly though. We all LOVED his hair. Tahereh you knew this. You weaponized it and took away his beautiful golden locks. Literally im excited for the next book because hopefully his hair will have grown back by then. I’m so sad rip Warner’s beautiful  hair

- and no one is really making a big deal out of this, which I kind of understand. I know it was a big statement and monumental moment in Juliette’s character development when she shaved her head, but i was literally so salty. like I loved her hair. she was soooo pretty with it. not to say she’s ugly bald but like.... u know what I mean, right? like idk i was so mad. I loved her long hair. I realize how superficial and unimportant this sounds but idk these are just my thoughts okay don’T FUCKING JUDGE ME

- Kenji’s backstory. Like i remember reading in the first three books how he was so mysterious and he didn’t want to tell anyone what happened in his past. and when he told juliette... oh my god my heart. like everyone always credits warner and juliette for best character development because duh, but i feel like Kenji’s development is underrated. he used to trust, like, no one. but he and juliette have grown so close and now he’s told her his deepest secret and just... idk man there’s something beautiful about that, about their friendship

- also I love how tahereh makes a girl and a guy best friends but there’s absolutely, 100% no romantic feelings between them. I feel like that’s really rare nowadays, let alone in this genre. I really admire her for doing that. As a girl with many guy friends, I hate it when people assume we have a thing for each other. I’m really happy with Tahereh for making Juliette’s best friend a guy, and really happy with her establishing that it’s possible for a girl and a guy to be best friends without wanting to fuck. Thank you, Tahereh.

- tbh I had A LOT of problems with this book but there were also some aspects that I REALLY LOVED. one of those that I loved was just how real Tahereh was in this book. for example, Warner and Juliette face relationship problems. We read books and get attached to the characters and their relationships and assume that they live happily ever after. (I’m guilty of this lol). but I really like how Tahereh acknowledges that that isn’t realistic nor healthy. While reading ignite me, I was actually thinking about that. Like don’t get me wrong, I ship warnette to the ends of the fucking earth but at the same time I was thinking, “they don’t even know each other that well, they’ve only known each other for a couple months”. And I’m just really happy that Tahereh captured that. 

- don’t get me wrong though i love warnette and I don’t like seeing them have problems lol

- Also warner’s anxiety/panic attacks??? I have two things to touch on relating to this. first, it shows how deeply he cares for Juliette. idk it’s so cute and my heart hurts just thinking about it. they broke up and he literally had a PANIC ATTACK. like wow. what a bby someone protect him. but more importantly, this is another example of Tahereh’s realism. It was never outwardly stated that warner had problems with anxiety, and tbh I never really thought about it. but once she pointed it out, it made complete sense. He had a traumatic childhood, and has difficulty with expression emotion, etc. I think it really adds depth and understanding to his character, but it also feels real. It doesn’t feel like she just went “oh let’s give him some anxiety so that my readers can relate to him more and love him” like it feels really genuine and makes sense and it’s true to his character and AHHH TAHEREH YOU’RE SUCH A GODDESS LIKE OH MY GOD

- so anyone who has read shatter me knows that one of the main focal points of the series is character development. not just for juliette but for warner, kenji, even adam. this element is one of my favorite things about the series because Tahereh executes it so perfectly. and when i finished ignite me, I thought that it was over. That Juliette was done evolving, that she was her full, finished, whole self. BOY WAS I WRONG. I absolutely LOVE that Tahereh continued her development into restore me, a mixture of evolving and devolving. Several times in the book, we see both warner and juliette drifting back to their old habits. this is very realistic and true. personal growth is a journey. it isn’t linear. it has ups and downs and I really like how she established this. 

- speaking of adam, I love how Tahereh shows his personal growth. He acknowledges that he was not a good match for Juliette and that she deserves better, and that what he did to her was out of line. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still not a fan of him, but I can really respect him for admitting his mistakes because it’s actually quite difficult to do that. 

- the title for this book is so fitting. first of all, the reader’s needs for the series to continue have been RESTORED. on top of that, all this character development and growth that I’ve been rambling on about. their characters are RESTORED and brought to justice

- something I didn’t like was the whole thing about Juliette’s backstory. idk maybe it’s just too much for my small brain to handle but it felt kinda forced and too complex. maybe I just don’t like change. I don’t know. I just don’t really like that and I really wish Tahereh hadn’t done that but oh well what can you do

- more warnette sex scenes. no complaints here

- JULIETTE’S CONFIDENCE. OH MY GOD. SHE HAS COME SO FAR BBY GIRL WE ARE SO PROUD OF U

- I love how Warner is warming up to people. his love-hate relationship with Kenji is actually great. and when Kenji comforts him after his panic attack... god I couldn’t deal. they both are so precious and they act like they hate each other when actually they have a deep mutual respect and, honestly, an understanding of each other. also Warner and Adam learning how to be brothers. LOVE IT. 

- Warner getting possessive and protective of James almost made me cry

- warner’s inner turmoil about the death of his father, again, so real! as someone who had a lot of problems with my mother and then she walked out, I could deeply relate to what he was feeling and Tahereh captured it well. it shows that even the most emotionally guarded of people have feelings too. (and as we know, warner has ALL THE FEELINGS.)

- I kinda miss Tahereh’s old writing. the very descriptive, imagery-ridden writing of shatter me that drew us to her in the first place. It started to disappear in ignite me and by restore me it was completely gone. I miss it. I know it’s probably cause she’s focusing more on world building and getting back into the swing of things but still. still.

- all the jokes in this book were great. definitely lightened the mood because there were times when this book got into some HEAVY shit

this is about it for now but I will probably think of more and make a part 2 so stay tuned k thanks bye

[whittynovels]

restore me predictions 2

*"It made me wish I’d had a sister. Or a mother. Someone to learn from and lean on. A woman to teach me how to be brave in this body, among these men" -Juliette gets friends!!!!! -I want juliette to get a makeover and people who give her boy advice and talk with her about girl stuff and ugh girls -She was never this way with the twins it always felt so awkward *Will Kenji get a love interest? -“he tries” -kenji totes flirts with international people -is the ex-girlfriend his????? -tahereh said kenji doesn’t get anyone in this book but thats ok we'll have a slow burn over a 3 book arc it's what he deserves -T said it’s someone we don’t already know which is fair bc everyone we already know he said is too much like a sister to him so it would be weird *Juliette’s favorite color is black? Sounds fake but ok *JAMES AND WARNER JAMES AND WARNER JAMES AND WA -“were you CRYING?” ummmm just fucking punch me in the lung next time -honestly is every character in this book just gonna witness a warner breakdown why we gotta do him so dirty like that -james is gonna be so mad when they find out they’re brothers because in unravel me he gets pissed about not being told stuff/getting left out -I don’t think it’ll happen this soon *WARNER’S EMO POWERS IN HIS POV -THIS IS THE NUMBER ONE THING I’M EXCITED FOR AND SHE HASN’T SHOWN IT YET IN THE SAMPLER SO I WAS WORRIED BUT YIPPEE I CANT WAIT TO GET CUTE WARNETTE SCENES WHERE WARNER IS AWARE OF JULIETTE'S FEELINGS AND ASKS HER ABOUT IT AND WANTS TO VALIDATE THAT SHE FEELS OKAY ASFUGHJKL;; *JULIETTE DRINKING ADFSGUHDIJ’K -I always wanted to write this but idk -Juliette is happy drunk / warner is emo drunk -Warner super concerned taking care of her *More people with powers? [we been knew reaction pic] -I honestly couldn’t guess any of the powers without just reciting powers from twilight or something lol *Kenji calling warner a dick and warner wanting to punch him -ME -Tahereh is teasing so much kenji & warner dialogue that it makes me wonder about them. Why are they together so much. Why does warner trust kenji. What. Help. Slow down *THE KIND OF MUSIC WARNER LISTENS TO -Either smooth jazz or beyonce, there’s no in between *What warner did to be leader of sector 45 -Pressure waves dude??? -No other predictions. no clue. help. *A cliffhanger?? -I honestly can’t tell you what state my anxiety will be in if there’s a cliffhanger -I think it’ll mirror other books where there’s certainly stuff unsolved but it’s not like someone dies then it’s like “aight, see ya next year” *She keeps hinting about deaths but tbh I don’t think anything will happen until book 6 -She did this with ignite me thinking big deaths would happen but it was nothing -I think she teases to create angst and fear but we’ll be fine -I trust her (t don’t let me down) *Another chapter 55 (◕‿◕✿) *lgbt characters !!!!!!!!! kenji, Brendan, Winston, whatever mans kenji gets *nO ADAM AND KENJI BRO MOMENTS HAHAHAHA -Kenji roasts adam at every opportunity *wARNER SPEAKING SEVERAL LANGUAGES UUGHGHHHHH WHAT A MAN!!!!!! WHAT A MAN, MY DUDES!!!!!!!!!!!! -Seven languages? Oh my lORDDT -I’m not even gonna predict what they are but hooooleeeee mollleeeeeey -We get to see him speak “a couple” ugghhhh I can’t wait to see juliette hear him break into Arabic or something and she’s just like !!!!!!!!!!!! *When asked about juliette and adam’s friendship growing, tahereh said “he’s a part of the story and there’s more left to come” and im just like noooooooo -At the same time, juliette is so forgiving I don’t doubt they’ll finally talk *PPL ROAST ME ABOUT AN ADAM REDEMPTION ARC BUT JUST THINK ABOUT WARNER AND ADAM’S FRIENDSHIP AND ADAM BEING SOMEONE WHO CAN SAVE THEM ALL IF HE PROJECTS HIS POWER AND DISABLES OTHERS’. I’M JUST SAYIN G *WARNER NAKED CRYING ON THE GROUND -WARNER HAS ANXIETY??? PLS LET WARNER HAVE ANXIETY I WANT ANXIETY REP -But at the same time I don’t because #tooreal -I feel like she posted this quote so out of context and it could be nothing but I leapt to the worst conclusions -Why isn’t juliette there? Did they have a fight? Did something happen to her? Did he read his dad’s journals? -DOES KENJI SEE HIS SCARS? -Is warner completely naked?? I’m so confused. I’M SO CONFUSED *Kenji calling warner cute constantly mY HEArt *WHY IS JULIETTE’S POV SPOILERY -Is she kidnapped??? Is she miserable??? Is a character with mind control powers harming her??? Is she separated from warner? Like WHAT??? It’s so spoilery that she can’t even find one quote to give us? *THE VALENTINES DAY SNIPPET -JULIETTE’S CONFIDENCE -THE TOWEL -WARNER’S POV SEXYTIMES -FWUJAOIFPKOIOBLHEIJKMF -SLIHBFLABKVLEAJFGFYOUDLHIJF -I was legit sobbing I was so happy for the first warnette kiss in 4 years -(lowkey wish there was more dialogue and description but that feels almost gluttonous at this point because we are so fortunate for having it at all) *Tahereh said she “likes” the ending of restore me -I don’t think we’ll have a cliffhanger, like I said. -She said “I don’t think it’s sad” so I hope it’s empowering like previous books -T said juliette is her favorite, ever, by the end of RM, so I think she’s fine and she doesn’t die clearly lol *AN EX-GIRLFRIEND COMES INTO PLAY -WHOSE??? WHAT IS THE TRUTH?????? -WHO IS GONNA CLAIM THIS WOMAN -Warner? Is it one of the overseas people? MY MANS IS A HOE!!!!! He out here saying “I didn’t have friends” but he actually meant “I had friends with benefits” -Kenji? Adam? Castle? I literally wish it were anyone else lol I’m solid on my theory of juliette being warner’s first everything but the internet and the author say otherwise *It’s confirmed that juliette MEETS her parents!!!!!! Oufhaouhilvgudyahisjkop;pzfx;ia I’MS O  EXCITED SHE’S GONNA ROAST THEM I’M REA DY FOR HER TO ROOOAST THEM!! -Also warner said in unravel me he wants to kill whoever made her miserable as a kid so I want warner to threaten them or pull a gun or something and im just ready for there to be tea -The biggest question I have—more than what warner did to be leader of sector 45—is what her parents are like. Not even just physically and with their personalities. I’m so split on wondering if they’re sorry or if they still hate her. Are they happy without her? Do they regret it? Will they accept her as she is now? Will they learn to trust her? *New novellas??!!?!! -I was shocked we didn’t get one before this book. -Whose POV? We get a kenji short story so maybe from him. Since we get warner POV in the book, it’s not as important anymore as a separate novella. So it’s gotta be kenji, adam, castle, Anderson, someone, idk. james? new characters? -Maybe it’ll have bonus content from previous books in the trilogy (LS PS LP PL SP L S PL SPL S PLS PLS PL SPL S PLS PL S PLS) *The bird symbolism comes back I’m emo -Juliette flying (ie. Airplanes, she becomes the bird herself? Idk) -I always thought it was so weird that the “the bird I imagined is the bird on adam’s chest” conflict/coincidence was just randomly dropped. -Does juliette become adam’s bird? -DOES MY GIRL FINALLY GET TO SEE A BIRD???? AHHHHHHH --i used to want ignite me to end with her seeing a bird so maybe i can finally have my dream come true and one of these books has her seeing a bird in it *Juliette’s powers are still growing -Unless it has to do with killing people and not physically moving stuff like castle then idk. I’m conflicted about this one. *More about warner’s mom, it’s ok I’m just gonna cry over here *Warner’s virginity better not be a hot topic in this book because I am tired and I’m so happy not knowing -Same how I feel with sex scenes like ty for having them but I don’t need to be ~too~ well-acquainted with their anatomy, ya know? pls no sarah j maas porn in these woods, thank you *Juliette and warner get to travel!!!!!!! -Now that warner knows how to drive a helicopter I just imagine them being like “hey Barbie wanna go for a ride” “sure ken” “hop in” then I don’t wanna live forever starts playing because wasn’t there a helicopter scene in fifty shades *Warner and his 5 o’clock shadow sounds fake bc in unravel me when he was being held captive there was no beard [angery frog meme] -Why my mans so stressed he aint shavin????????? He needs a hug and 3 advil *SHE EITHER GETS A HAIRCUT OR A TATTOO IN THIS BOOK -I’m 50/50. On one hand, she mentioned in ignite me that she needs a haircut, but I really really reall yreally hate haircuts in books so I’m salty -Also Ive always wished she’d get a tattoo bc it’s so empowering and she has a lot of mantras she lives by and warner is such a cheerleader for them and he would love it too *WARNER IS LITERALLY THE EMBODIMENT OF CAR RADIO ABOUT OUTRUNNING SILENCE OAUHOSJIKO;DI;FSLDGYHIJ MY MANS IS EMO AND I LOVE AND SUPPORT HIM UNCONDITIONALLY -I’m concerned that he and juliette aren’t together more in this book. She’s in a meeting he’s not invited to??? Aaron warner? More like aaron burr, not being in the room where it happened

[fae-fucker]

Shatter Me: Chapter 3-4

Chapter 3

It’s apparently time to shower.

“Shower?” His voice loses inflection but it’s still threaded with curiosity.

So did it lose inflection or not?

They’re supposed to go out into the darkness and bumble about until they get to the showers before the time runs out, which makes me wonder how exactly protag figured that out the first ime.

I tug on his shirt and command him to follow me as I feel my way through the maze of the mental institution. It’s a home, a center for troubled youth, for neglected children from broken families, a safe house for the psychologically disturbed. It’s a prison.

See? This is why this fucking gimmick is stupid. It’s not even a consistent style. Sometimes the protag “removes” things that we’re supposed to think are true and replaces it with more “acceptable” thoughts, and sometimes she removes the obvious lies and keeps the truth. 

There’s no rhyme or reason to why something is removed and replaced with something else, there’s no consistency to this “style”, which makes it completely meaningless and nothing more than a flashy thing to shove in people’s faces to prove how deep you are.

I spent the first 3 months in the company of my own stench. No one ever told me where the bathrooms and showers were located. No one ever told me how the system worked. No one speaks to you unless they’re delivering bad news. No one touches you ever at all. Boys and girls never find each other.

So how did you figure this out? I’m really curious to know. 

And why the fuck do you have to make special mention of the fact that boys and girls don’t find each other? Nobody talks to each other! Isn’t that kind of the whole angsty point you’re trying to make here? Would things still be as bad if people of the same gender could talk to each other? Why do you imply that this somehow makes it even worse?

Is this book trying to imply that keeping boys and girls from touching each other somehow makes this even more evil, as if the act of keeping people in solitary isn’t bad enough already?

WHY THE FUCK DOES THAT MATTER, TAHEREH?

I also want to know what kind of bad news she’s gotten before to know this is a thing.

Protag wanks about how muscular cellmate is.

He doesn’t realize how his ignorance makes him vulnerable. He doesn’t realize that they might kill him for no reason at all.

Has that, like, happened? Has she seen this happen? She hasn’t been in contact with another human being in this facility, so how does she even come to this conclusion?

They get to the showers and it’s pitch black, of course.

I wonder if this was the trap. If this was the plan. If perhaps he was sent to kill me under the cover of darkness in this small space. I never really knew what they were going to do to me in the asylum, I never knew if they thought locking me up would be good enough but I always thought they might kill me. It always seemed like a viable option.

This is dumb. Why does she think that the people who captured her and who run this facility need to “cover up” her death? Why would it matter if they killed her in the dark vs just shooting her in her cell? She’s already angsted about how nobody cares about her and it’s clearly true. She’s been locked up for 200+ days and nothing has happened yet, why does she think they want her dead?

She also mentions that there have been people in the showers when she was there before, so like ... Why hasn’t she attempted to talk to them? Because they’re not cute boys, I guess.

“What do I do with my clothes?” His body is still too close to mine. 

I blink 1,000 times in the blackness. “You have to take them off.” 

He laughs something that sounds like an amused breath.

LAUGHS SOMETHING THAT SOUNDS LIKE AN AMUSED BREATH

And aside from the crossing-out-words thing, protag is also inconsistent with her counting. She knows the exact amount of days she’s been locked up but claims to blink 1000 times. 

I’m ... so confused.

Whatever. They shower and get back to their cell. Cellmate gives her both of their blankets and tells her his name.

Adam. Such a nice name. Cellmate has a nice name.

Cool.

Chapter 4

I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane.

Protag wakes up from a nightmare. I wish I fucking could.

“The screams never stop in this place, do they?” 

The screams are only the beginning. “No,” I mouth almost mutely.

This whole exchange is making my eyes bleed. 

If you mouth something, it kind of implies that you’re not making any noise, so “almost mutely” should be omitted.

They talk about how neither of them is insane and stuff.

He cracks a grin so wide, so amused, so refreshingly sincere it’s like a clap of thunder through my body. Something pricks at my eyes and breaks my knees.

If this is supposed to be pleasant why does it sound so fucking painful.

Adam asks if he can sit next to protag and she says no while thinking yes. Great.

Protag wanks on about how hot he is.

He runs a hand through his hair and I realize for the first time that he’s not wearing a shirt. It’s so dark in this room I can only catch the curves and contours of his silhouette; the moon is allowed only a small window to light this space but I watch as the muscles in his arms tighten with every movement and I’m suddenly on fire. Flames are licking at my skin and there’s a burst of heat clawing through my stomach. Every inch of his body is raw with power, every surface somehow luminous in the darkness. In 17 years I’ve never seen anything like him. In 17 years I’ve never talked to a boy my own age. Because I’m a monster. 

I close my eyes until I’ve sewn them shut.

I guess when you haven’t touched a boy in EVER you just get really horny.

Protag worries that Adam is sick from the cold shower yesterday.

“I’m not sick. I’m just hot. I don’t usually sleep with my clothes on.”

Butterflies catch fire in my stomach. An inexplicable humiliation is searing my flesh. I don’t know where to look.

You just said it’s dark. Why does it matter where you look?

His eyes are the perfect shade of cobalt, blue like a blossoming bruise, clear and deep and decided.

HOW CAN YOU SEE THE COLOR OF HIS EYES IF IT’S SO DARK YOU CAN ONLY SEE THE CONTOURS OF HIS SILHOUETTE. 

Oh my god.

Adam apologizes for stealing her bed and blankets and admits to being a jerk. Yay! Male character who admits to being an asshole! What a concept! 

Let’s see how he’ll get absolutely ruined and the book won’t ever do this again, shall we?

Protag instantly forgives him.

“So why won’t you tell me your name?” He leans forward and I freeze. 

I thaw. 

I melt. “Juliette,” I whisper. “My name is Juliette.” 

His lips soften into a smile that cracks apart my spine. He repeats my name like the word amuses him. Entertains him. Delights him. 

In 17 years no one has said my name like that.

And why did you cross that out also? 

Can someone explain these choices to me, please?

[ordinaryhouseholdtoaster]

Spooky Maidment’s Top 25 Favourite Actresses

I had intended to write and publish this list (originally entitled “Spooky Maidment’s Top Ten Favourite Actresses) in time for International Woman’s Day, but it quickly became a far grander undertaking than I had first imagined. I love films and, as such, I love actresses and, boy, are there a lot of actresses that I love.

The first draft of this list, which was compiled over three days, contained a shortlist of 57 thespians, all of whom seemed just as worthy of making the list as the 56 other ladies that their name had been scribbled alongside. And so, for a while, I trifled with the idea of making it a list of 50 actresses that I loved - but that, of course, would mean five times more writing than I had originally intended on doing, and I’m nothing if not lazy and really, really good at procrastinating.

And so, almost a month later, I’ve finally manged to whittle my list down to twenty-five. Twenty-five wonderful and talented ladies, some of which are, in the eye of this beholder, also stunningly beautiful.

And there it is - the obvious flaw in my attempt to celebrate women by composing a list of women that I like to look at. 

I am, as I have noted in the past, a straight man. I am attracted to women. Hollywood, very much aware of this dynamic, has been casting symmetrical and visually pleasing women in their motion pictures since the dawn of motion pictures and using their sex appeal to get me to watch said motion pictures. Sex sells, after all, and, with that in mind, I have tried my utmost not to allow my penis too much sway in the forming of this list (which is why Kristen Stewart is rightfully absent). 

That said, at this point, having hit puberty approximately 17 years ago, it is rather difficult for me to know just what part of my brain is steering this dilapidated ship at any given moment, and I am sure that sexual attraction plays a much larger role in the forming of my tastes and opinions than I would be willing to admit.

With that in mind, I have actively tried to keep the objectification to an absolute minimum.

And on that cheerful note, here’s my fluffy list, which I’m now worried might be considered degrading, and which, I’ve just now noticed, features a complete and utter lack of ethic diversity. Well, there you go. I’m sexist and racist, apparently.

#25: Robin Tunney

Coming in at number 25, and repping every badass ‘90s chick who didn’t quite make the list (Including, but not limited to, Joey Lauren Adams, Neve Campbell, Clea DuVall, Shannen Doherty and Samatha Mathis), Robin Tunney will always be Deb from Empire Records in my heart, although her leading performance in The Craft (pictured) and her scene stealing brilliance in Encino Man are worth watching over and over and over again. 

24: Mia Farrow

The Rosemary in Roman Polanski’s Rosemary’s Baby (pictured) and the Hannah in Woody Allen’s Hannah And Her Sisters, Mia Farrow is probably best known these days for being one of the major players at the center of her ex-husband’s various child abuse scandals, which is a damn shame because she was also in twelve of his movies, with her best performance being as Cecilia in the magical and often overlooked The Purple Rose of Cairo. If you can separate the art from the artists, you should watch any Farrow/Allen collaboration that you can lock your eyes on.   

#23: Sigourney Weaver

As if any justification were needed for her being on this list beyond stating the fact that she plays Ellen mother-fucking Ripley in the Alien films, Sigourney Weaver also stars opposite Bill Murray in my two favorite movies of all time, Ghostbusters (pictured) and Ghostbusters II, as well as having roles in Galaxy Guest, The Ice Storm and the criminally under-rated M. Night Shyamalan thriller The Village.

#22: Sissy Spacek

The original Carrie, Sissy Spacek’s almost otherworldly face, pale complexion, abundance of freckles and excellent acting chops are best admired in Robert Altman’s 3 Women and Terrence Malick’s Badlands.

#21: Juliette Lewis

There’s a stretch in the early to mid ‘90s where it feels like every cool film has a beautiful performance from Juliette Lewis in it. Cape Fear (pictured), Kalifornia, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, Natural Born Killers, From Dust ‘Til Dawn... she’s smack bang in the middle of all of ‘em, playing a whole mess of innocent, crazy and broken young women. How can you not love Juliette Lewis?

#20:  Mira Sorvino

I love Mimic (pictured) and if you don’t like Mimic, we can’t be friends. Mira Sorvino is great in Mimic and she’s also great in Mighty Aphrodite, Romy And Michelle’s High School Reunion and Summer Of Sam. Fuck you, Del Toro is a genius and Mimic is great, and one of the main reason’s that Mimic is great is Mira Sorvino and you don’t know what you’re talking about... la, la, la, la, la...

#19: Ally Sheedy

The first of two brat pack members to make my list, Ally Sheedy may not be as iconic as the starlet at #16 but, boy, does she ever show up in a lot of my favourite ‘80s flicks - with starring roles in The Breakfast Club, St. Elmo’s Fire, WarGames (pictured) and a little masterpiece called Short Circuit. Cute as a button, charming, hilarious, a fantastic actress... and did I mention that she’s in both The Breakfast Club and Short freaking Circuit?

#18: Kirsten Dunst

I’m pretty sure I could watch Kirsten Dunst eating soup for two hours, I love her so, but luckily she’s Lux in The Virgin Suicides (pictured), the lead in my number one guilty pleasure Bring It On, the cute and adorable child star of Little Women, Interview With A Vampire and Jumanji, Mary Jane Watson in Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man trilogy and the star of countless other films, so, as of yet, I haven’t had to resort to setting up a camera in her dining room. 

#17: Linda Cardellini

In much the same way that Bob Hoskins would make his way onto a (as of yet) hypothetical list of my “Top 25 Favourite Actors” based solely on just two roles - in his case Mario Mario from Super Mario Brothers and Eddie Valiant from Who Framed Roger Rabbit - Linda Cardellini makes this list based solely on just two roles. The first is her portrayal of Velma Dinkley in the colossally under-rated Scooby-Doo films, and the second, and far more important, is her turn as Lindsay Weir in the cult classic TV show Freaks And Geeks (pictured), the cancellation of which still breaks my heart to this day.

#16: Molly Ringwald

The second brat pack member to make my list, John Hughes described Molly Ringwald as his muse, casting her in leading roles in Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club (pictured) and Pretty In Pink. Although her career fizzled out shortly after that, Ringwald remains the face of the ‘80s for myself and countless others and although her star shined briefly, man, did it ever shine brightly. 

#15: Nicole Kidman

I watched Stoker the other day and whilst Mia Wasikowska was excellent in it, Nicole Kidman was absolutely mesmorising. Why do I keep forgetting how much I love Nicole Kidman? She’s great in Dogville (pictured), The Others, Margot At The Wedding, Cold Mountain and Birthday Girl... and she made me feel “all funny inside” whenever I watched Batman Forever as a child. I really should watch more films with Nicole Kidman in them. Is Days Of Thunder any good?

#14: Uma Thurman

Standing tall at the center of the Tarantino universe, Uma Thurman’s roles in Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill Vol.1 and Kill Bill Vol. 2 (pictured) are probably the reason she’s on this list, but her endearing and beautiful turns in Jennifer 8, Beautiful Girls, Gattaca, Mad Dog and Glory and the 1998 version of Les Misérables are the reason she sits at the number 14 spot.

#13: Reese Witherspoon

From cool and angsty flicks like Election, Cruel Intentions, Freeway, Best Laid Plans, Pleasantville and S.F.W in the mid to late ‘90s, to Oscar-winning fare like Walk The Line (pictured) and Wild as she perfected her craft, Reese Witherspoon is always on form and always a treat to watch, whether she’s giving an Academy Award winning performance or goofing off in the likes of Legally Blonde. Also, just look how the light dances on her pointy little face!

#12: Amy Adams

I can’t remember if I first saw Amy Adams in Doubt (pictured) or in Sunshine Cleaning, but I do remember thinking, “Holy shit, this woman is amazing. She might even be the next [see number one on this list]”. Nine years later, Adams is one of the biggest names in Hollywood with an impressive five Academy Award nominations to her name and I’d happily unsee all of those performances to have Adams revise her role as Mary from The Muppets.

#11: Christina Ricci

I’m going to be perfectly honest with you right now, Christina Ricci is on this list (and at number 11, no less) because when I was child, I was totally in love with Kat Harvey from Casper (pictured). Ricci is also great as Wednesday Addams in both The Addams Family and The Addams Family Values, as well as in The Ice Storm and Black Snake Moan, but I’d be lying if I told you that this was anything more than eight year old me making demands of thirty year old me.

#10: Patricia Arquette

When Patricia Arquette won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress for her role in Richard Linklater’s Boyhood, I wasn’t in the least bit surprised - even though, at that point, I hadn’t even seen the film yet. Criminally under-rated and not in nearly enough films for my liking, Particia Arquette is absolutely brilliant in True Romance (pictured), Lost Highway and as Kissing Kate in Holes. 

#9: Chloë Sevigny

Last year, I was watching the excellent David Fincher thriller Zodiac for the first time and when Chloë Sevigny arrived on screen, at what must have been at least the 60 minute mark, I cheered out loud as if I were watching a football match and my favourite player had finally been brought onto the field. Kids, Gummo, Boys Don’t Cry (pictured), American Psycho, Dogville, Broken Flowers, Antibirth... Chloë Sevigny has an utterly amazing screen presence and the ability to subtly elevate any film, regardless of how big or small a role she has to play in it.

#8: Sally Field

Sometimes I fantasize about Sally Field being my mother - à la Forrest Gump or the excellent ABC TV show Brothers and Sisters - and sometimes I dream about marrying Norma Rae (pictured) or running away with Carrie from Smokey And The Bandit. Either way, Sally Field is a treasure and 8th place almost seems like blasphemy.

#7: Winona Ryder

Beetlejuice, Heathers, Night On Earth (pictured), Reality Bites... no actress has ever been as cool as Winona Ryder was in the late eighties and early nineties. Little Women, The Crucible, Bram Stoker’s Dracula... no actress has ever tried so hard and failed so spectacularly to speak with an accent as Winona Ryder did in the mid-nineties. And then, I saw Girl, Interrupted and I realised that, unlike Johnny Depp’s very real tattoo, the tattoo in my heart would always read Winona Forever. 

#6: Scarlett Johansson

In much the same way that any list of ice cream flavours would be incomplete without vanilla, my list of favourite actresses would be incomplete without the totally obvious and predictable inclusion of America’s current sweetheart Scarlett Johansson. Forever in my heart for being the onscreen personification of Sofia Coppola in Lost In Translation (pictured), Scar Jo has since blown me away using only her voice in Her, by saying hardly anything at all in Under The Skin and by somehow beating out Mark Ruffalo’s Bruce Banner to make Natasha Romanoff my favorite character in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. 

#5: Jodie Foster 

Bugsy Malone, The Little Girl Who Lived Down The Lane, Taxi Driver... in 1976, at the age of 13, Jodie Foster had a role in each of these films, each time playing overly sexualized children in adult situations and earning an Oscar nomination for Taxi Driver. Twelve years later, she picked up her first Academy Award for her portrayal of a rape victim in The Accused, before picking up her second Oscar in 1991 for playing Clarice Starling in The Silence of the Lambs (pictured), probably the best thriller ever made (with the possible exception of Se7en). In 1994, she would go on to make audiences laugh in Maverick and cry in Nell, the latter of which earned her her fourth and final Academy Award nomination. If you love cinema (which I do), it’s impossible not to love Jodie Foster (which I do). 

#4: Shirley MacLaine

Audrey Hepburn this, Audrey Hepburn that. Women wanted to be her and men wanted to be with her. Well, not me... of the two leading ladies in the 1961 drama The Children’s Hour, I was captivated by Shirley MacLaine. And what’s more, her comedic timing was (probably still is) second to none, making her the perfect lady to star opposite the late, great Jack Lemmon in The Apartment (pictured) and Irma La Douce. Throw in her beautifully fragile and oddly arousing performance as Eve Rand in Being There, and MacLaine is motherfucking Hollywood royalty, son. Long live the queen of the silver screen!

#3: Laura Linney

Primal Fear, The Truman Show, You Can Count On Me (pictured), Mystic River, Love Actually, Frasier, The Squid And The Whale... chances are, you’ve seen Laura Linney and thought, “Hey, I know that lady from x, y or z”. Me, I love Laura Linney. I can’t remember when that love began... or which film it was that suddenly made me realise that I loved her... or why exactly I love her as much as I do... or whether or not it’s a sexual thing... but I love her and I’ll watch anything she’s in, from now until the day one of the two of us dies.

#2: Melanie Lynskey

Although probably best known for her debut in Peter Jackson's Heavenly Creatures - for which she was nominated for an Academy Award at just sixteen years old - or for her stint as Rose on the CBS sit-com Two And A Half Men, for me (and the peeps at Sundance, apparently), Melanie Lynskey is the queen of the indie scene, having ignited my passion for quiet, character-driven cinema with her roles in Hello I Must Be Going, The Intervention, Rainbow Time and, most recently, I Don’t Feel At Home In This World Anymore.

#1: Julianne Moore

As hard as it was to whittle this list down to just 25 actresses, and as difficult as it was to then put those lovely ladies into something akin to a ranking order, the top spot was secure throughout, ‘cause ain’t nobody taking the crown from Julianne Moore. For me, growing up in the ‘90s, Moore was Sarah Harding, the apex-predator expert in Steven Spielberg’s The Lost World: Jurassic Park, the rough and ready redhead who refused to be eaten by dinosaurs and who stirred feelings within my ten year old self that I didn’t then fully understand. Throw in her turns in Short Cuts, The Big Lebowski, Magnolia, Evolution and her hilarious yet heartbreaking performance as Jules in The Kids Are Alright (pictured) - to name just my personal highlights - and Julianne Moore has made me laugh, cry and beam from ear to ear on more occasions than I can recall. Also, I’m pretty sure she’s the reason I have a predilection for redheads. I know, I know... I said I’d keep the objectification to a minimum, but, c’mon, I am but a man. 

So, number one with a bullet is Julianne Moore. Agree? Disagree? Don’t be daft, this is a list of my favourite actresses. Who are you to say I can’t rank Molly Ringwald higher than Ally Sheedy? 

Anyway, suck it, internet. I’ve got films to watch and other lists to spend months pouring over.

Spooky, out! 

SpookyMaidment has written many lists, some of them available to view, for free, in truck-stop restrooms up and down the Eastern Seaboard. He’s also a man - a goddamn, hairy-ass man and how dare he put a bunch of women in order of how much he likes them! What a fucking pig!