#fuck the hse man

[drummuso]

this is the hardest part of my life right now. the pain is bad, the fatigue is bad. but being stuck in diagnostic purgatory, constantly being doubted by others and doubting my own senses? that's the worst.

people presume that if it was as bad as i say it is (it's actually much worse), then doctors would help me. i can see people's expressions change, as i try to explain why i'm stuck in the situation i am. it's like i can see them dismiss me in real-time.

so i've started to lie. or if it's someone i'll have to talk to again, i give them the same oversimplified story, that isn't actually a lie but is so oversimplified that it doesn't actually explain what's actually happening to me.

but i can't do that with doctors.

every time i meet a new doctor (which is only like, twice a year at *most*, because of the irish healthcare system not functioning) i have to do The Spiel™️. my whole medical history, new symptoms, why i haven't seen the doctors i need to, why i didn't get diagnosed as a kid, how yes i have tried physio, how yes i have tried "just getting over it", why i really believe that this can't *all* be explained by my mental health history.

and then if i'm unlucky, i'm told to try harder and stop worrying so much. to just walk normally.

and if i'm lucky i'm told what *should* happen, where i *should* be referred to, what tests i *should* be given, what treatments i *should* be offered.

just for nothing to happen, because if i haven't been linked in with those services since i was a child then i can't be referred as an adult. or because the waiting lists are so long by the time i get the right person to refer me to the right department, the whole system will have changed *again*. or because the person i'm meant to see isn't taking new patients, or they retired and their department collapsed. or that i'm just not worth the time, because there are people who need those services a lot more than me.

so i'm stuck in a cycle of not having a diagnosis > not being able to see any doctors apart from my gp > not getting a diagnosis > etc etc etc etc.

getting tired of this shit. i am really considering moving countries. i don't want to have to wait until i'm bedbound and blind before i can get any medical care.

being disabled without having a diagnosis yet is so incredibly lonely. i’m unable to find community with people who understand what i’m going through and able bodied people don’t take me seriously when i explain what i’m dealing with. they expect you to be able to give them a name and i can’t yet. it’s so hard to get the proper accommodations and the right supports. it feels like purgatory.

[rowretro]

𝕮𝖍𝖊𝖘𝖍𝖎𝖗𝖊

✧warnings: Yandere/toxic themes, Cheshire Riki, manipulation ig? mentions of going mad, blood, mentions of abuse, mentioned of being stoned

❁synopsis: Y/n is a very curious girl, and incredibly creative, having grown up in a heartless, cold, boring family, others always ponderred if the mother perhaps had an affair. She's so sweet and cheery and always curious. Her head always in may books, shows, as she feeds off of whatever knowledge gains... In fact she herself started wanderring whether hse was going mad....

✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧

Y/n was stuck in her room, her arms and legs all scratched up and bloody, she sat on the floor of her now, somewhat messy room. There and then she cried. Her eyes landed on the book above her vanity, she got up, limping, tripping over one of her stuffed toys, as she gripped onto the frame of the mirror, her face landing right on the mirror. However to her surprise, she didn't shatter it, or hurt her face, in fact she saw a whole new world.

Perhaps she had hit her head a little too hard and she was now in the afterlife? She immediately pulled away with all her might. Not a scratch on her face. She didn't even hurt herself. Curious, she reached her hand out to touch the mirror again, the mirror rippling as her hand went right. through the mirror. She looked back at her messy room then back at the mirror.

There's a whole crazy world on the other side of that mirror, No boring beings, senseless story books, long science essays that are meant to feed one's knowledge. Maybe behind the silver there's a whole dreamland. Smiling she stepped through the mirror. Boy was she stunned. Shocked, but she loved what she was seeing. "Oi mind your step!" a tulip yelled from beneath her foot.

"Oops- sorry sirmaam maamsir?-" she questioned, as she stared up at the sky "Ooh score tree candy!" she smiled, trying to reach for the gumdrop, only for the tree branch to suddenly go up "awh- can't I have candy mrmissmrrsmx tree?" Y/n asked, assuming the tree would also talk. A smile appeared mid air, and there, a handsome fucking man, smiling mischievously whilst staring down at her. "Well you're one cute lil kitty~" Riki said with a smile.

Since that very moment, everything seemed to be a blur. Y/n woke up gasping for air, there on the ground of her messy room. She had one very vivid, crazy dream, it felt so real yet she barely remembered most of it. She could only make out the figures of actual, human-sized solitaire cards chasing her down, A queen with a heart-shaped head. A white rabbit quite like her pet one, except it's male and it talks.

"Is there a chance I was stoned?" she asked herself as she shrugged, sitting up, there on her wall, surrounding the frame of her mirror, are solitaire cards. Is this some sort of Deja vu? Her shaky hands reached out toward the mirror, touching it. Yet she just left a finger print. It was just a dream. "No it wasn't sweetheart." Shocked, she turned to where that deep, dreamy yet familiar voice was heard. It's the Cheshire man.

"Have I officially gone mad? it's said that too much knowledge makes a human go mad" Y/n asked as the man snickerred, teleporting before her. "Everyone's mad here my darling..." he said "Darling?... no one's ever called me that-" She admittingly said. Riki smirked, walking around her in circles, tutting as he admired every inch of her "What a princess what a princess... why don't you do the honours miss Heart, and be my darling wife?" the handsome man asked as he stared down at her.

"Y/N. WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?!" a woman screamed from the entrance, her eyes doubling in size as she noticed her daughter talking to thin air. "I KNEW IT. WE SHLDN'T HAVE ADOPTED SOME RANDOM 5 YEAR OLD THAT WAS PAINTING ON BRICK WALLS.... WE CAN'T HAVE A MAD WOMAN IN THE HOUSE. NO ONE'D MARRY YOU." she screamed. Ah yes, marriage. She's nothing but a pretty doll to sell to the richest man that'll treat her like his sex slave as he slept with other women, just so her so called family could have the money they want.

As the woman picked up a sharp dagger to stab poor y/n, she suddenly dropped dead, the very dagger pierced into her heart. "It seems you have no other choice my darling... you have to come back with me. Marry me. Let me love you in the place I call home, and you call your dreamland... if you stay here, they'll torture you cand claim that you killed her...." Riki explained as Y/n stood there frozen. Sure the woman was cruel and unloving, but she's still her mother...

"She isn't your real mother darling...... I know you're real mother... The queen of hearts." The male said, nothing but truth in his mouth. "You know you can trust my y/n... I know everything about you... I've been watching you through this mirror, my poor princess, so creative, curious and darling.... being mistreated in this dungeon.... let me take you home~" he said, opening a portal in the mirror. She had no choice, the guards had discovered the body... so through the mirror she went... into her wonderland.

✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧

a/n: Idk if this is very yandere or if u cld wrap ur head around it, I'll try to be more active for now my darlings as I will be pretty inactive due to a-levels and soon even uni and work etc etc, I'll work through my requests<3

[rusty-gloinks]

MURDER DRONES EPISODE 5 : Random details and favorite parts of this episode

Will be putting major spoilers under cuts if anyone has NOT seen the new episode, or has yet to see it. CW/TW: Blood, body horror, murdery stuff! SPOILERS!! AHHH!!! You get the point. I am not responsible for your actions :3

(This post is a mix of different things btw, Md related tho)

None of this will be in order, and I might need to make a PART TWO!!! Since the total is 45 images. :’)

FIRST UP. I would like to take the time to appreciate doll so have some LOVELY LITTLE images of her I took.

She looks so fucking awesome???? Like holy shit. She slayed!!!!!

not to be fruity .but. yea

SHE. also Isn’t that the campsite? Or just a different location with the same appearance.

OKAY. Next up. BABYGIRL . I SQUEALED AT LIKE EVERY SCENE OF THEM SHES SO FUCKING CUTE. MAN😭

BLEEEEEH (I’m going to make this my icon soonthat was the purpose of the screenshot. Also because I love them)

World is mine by Hatsune mi- cyn. World is mine by cyn. The famous vocaloid /j (HSES 😭😭😭😭)

Noticing how her balance is SOOO Much better while holding someone?. Also MOOD .just like me .real 💔

i lov e you🥺EEEK /p. Shes melting

MY SIB AND I WERE FUCKIJG DYING OVER THE PUPPY EYES.LMAO. I love their humor

J* , and they locked her in the basement. I am so SAD about this information

PROTECTIVE BIG BRO MODE…babys

Okay, listen, i know these 2 got shipped before the release but OUCH this makes things so much weirder!!! eugh:( (mainly saw em as friends.tttotallt not becsuse I project my friendship with my silly mutual onto them.no. /sarc)

anyways forget them being friends as my headcanon. THEYRE FUCKING SIBLINGS EVEN BETTER!!! (prjdedcts me and my elder sib onto th— *gets killed /j*

GAY RIGHTS(After the 2nd watch i realized she was making them kiss each other and I started laughing so hard my sides hurt)

Okay glitch QUIT SHOWING OFF. god damn !!!!! Literally appreciating this scenery so hard. 10000/10. :3

YKNOW HW I WANTED TO SEE TEARS IN THE NEW EPISODE!! LOOK. KIND OF CLOSE!!

LOOK HES SOBBING!!!! ALMOST. I GOT WHAT I WANTED OMFG!!!!! YAYYA!!!! (Love it when ppl cry /j

Lovely little lad. Reading abt dogs:) so cute…

subtle hints of favoritism..👀(she obvs likes J more I think,)

I love how immediately i could tell this was drawn by Liam. Canonically J in the show but like his style is so adorable and bouncy!!!! AND LIKE yummyys:3 eated

Cute detail in Uzi’s room. SHE LIKES BABY COWS GUYS. ITS TIME TO MAKE FANART OF UZI WITH BABY COWS. /J

Blushys:)!

For those wondering what this is it’s basically a ripoff of YouTube. The caption is titled "Top 100 Doors ever!!11!" and then the views at the bottom 😭😭. KHAN AND HIS FUCKING DOORS GOD DAMNIT

This part scared the shit out of me i was literally about to cry. I THIUGHTT SHE KILLED HIM

I had to slow this down and repeat the same clip OVER AND OVER Just to get it right, apparently the solver can swap roles? (The order is supposed to be yellow then purple since Uzi takes over as an admin instead of CYN.) very cool.

STP FIGHTING D:

BOTH VRY SCARY :(

Better glimpse of her backpack. Cute little skullbat zipper!! Also batteries. 👍

Apparently DEAD BATTERIES, aka the logo on Uzi’s sweater could be a possible band? Or reference to a band I don’t know? Like how they have my chemical robots (or something like that) as a ref to the band MCR (romance).

Sigh., N was that you.

Conlang? Fictional language? Glyphs? I’m assuming it’s VERY important (since liam lovessss foreshadowing, i will further elaborate). Hoping there will be ways to "simplify" it to english!

Yknow how in episode 2 Uzi takes braidens sentience or sumn like dat. Yea 💀

Alright I’ve hit the limit, gonna rb again with part 2!!!!! Soon. Maybe

[crayonverse]

idr if i ever posted mirage or caroline/roxie here but yayyy revamped ocs .. they used 2 be apart of a universe i called bopzverse n they were the complimentary universe to something else called bitzverse i def didnt post about .. they were my personal marvel and dc . lol.. anyway. i mixed the two universes 2gether to save brain space so heres and new design for these 2 bc i liked writing them in their solo stuff

roxie has had a few designs/names over the time ive written her .. ive decided to make her a plastic man type of character also because he og powers were flight + fire andi thought of "tyre fyre" as a villain name and it was perfect for her .. her costume is a mix of bright fire colors + her old hero costume before becoming a villain. she used 2 be apart of a hero team but hse felt underappreciated and underused so she quit and mirage helped her become a bad guy i guess. her old costume was based more off of blue flames.

mirage hasnt changed 2 much design wise sinceive made him but his story has def had a revamp since his og writing .

anyway more ocs from bopz (read below)

these are 3 members from the "society against superheroes" a sort of legion of doom esqe group.

slate is the intentionally but also very unwilling leader. hes an immortal priest who doesnt know what a car is and he talks and sees to ghosts. i made his last name charlatan bc i found the idea that his family is where the word charlatan came from and he is completely unaware of what the word now means. he was originally based off of john Constantine

slate is the one who makes up all their plans because Every Single Other member of the team are jackshit stupid and insane. slate also has his demon ex boyfriend trapped in a bible that he sleeps with at night because it keeps the ghosts away and he can actually rest. dont read into that <- slate probably

pariah is a sort of mix between catwoman + cheetah. she specializes in Clawing The Shit out of people and robbing clothing stores. pariah joined the group bc she was lonely and wanted friends to rob places w. she has her own side story planned bc shes the main villain to liek .. two vigilantes (?) and she likes fucking things up on purpose

veronica was the lead singer of a heavy metal band and she gained her powers by getting struck by lighting during a show . she immediately decided to rob banks with her powers and attempted to recruit her old band mates but they were like "nah fuck that" so she mind controlled them w her powers. she was inspired by Livewire !! when i want 2 think of her personality i think of her as an incel

in their group theres ..... like three others i havent drawn . one is a shapeshifter, one is a 16 yr old who looks 10 and is also a fairy and the other is a raccoon . they all collectively have 1 braincell

a quick chr chart for a group of kid superheroes (but technically most of them are adults so this is their backstory n whatver)

i wont say too much since it would be spoilers but uhhh ill say their powers and whatver

alan carrion - dark magic shit . i dont actually know what he specifically does. telekinesis?? hes strong. he looks like a baby

maximus janus eleguard (his name is ridiculous on purpose) - time travel or futrue sight . one of them. teams support. he also likes butterflies

mel addington - the academy's teacher is her adoptive father so the disappoint hits harder. snake powrs. like medusa or whatver. she also has telekinesis

hugo i forgot to write a last name down - super strength! team leader. hes 13 and he hates living. he likes . dogs

skyla i also forgor - sensitve aim. super sight or whatever. archer. nerd i think. kind of mean but like shes 12 so who cares

oliver something - flashlights on his hands. thats it . teachers pet he sucks up all the time and it annoys everyone

floris uhhhhhhhhhh - music based superpowers . shes also a transgirl and living in the academy sucks more for her. wants 2 be a vigilante

corduroy addington - their teacher/mentor who sucks. might be a robot or hes genuinely just that cruel. who knows

i also tried showing their general relationships but theres a lot of them so ill sum it up:

max is friends/friendly with mostly everyone . even corduroy! it s apartof his backstory illtel laerter

alan mel and max are all specifically besties., alan and mel arent particularly friends with anyone else though

hugo is only friends with skyla and maybe oliver. hes not very friendly but hes 13 so its whatver

floris and oliver are best friends

skyla is also defacto 2nd leader and acts kinda high and mighty about it but yknow 12 so its fine

only oliver really likes/cares about corduroy

im planning on writing the academy stuff as a full thing at some point so . yay! im going 2 def change the hair around a bit but 4 now ... thats what they are

[theuniverseawakens347]

Just for THE record ddg I NEVER LIKED YOU - HALO A MURDER CHARGE YOU IDIOT - YOU STOLE MY NIGGA BEATS FOR YOUR CLOTHING LINE AND HSE MY NIGGAS TO ROB SHIT - EAZYIINK TWITTER TAKE OVER GRAM .. then press charges on them ..

You eazy for money n retarded AS FUCK FOR LEE GARLINGTON ..

U NOT A GOOD HIT MAN YOU LAME AS FUCK AND THE REASON YO BROTHER DIED. - DUMBASS WHO DONT LEARN NAME IS DDG .. NIGGA YOU EATING AND LIVING OFF ME. HALO SHINE BRIGHT WHEN YOU DOING DUMB SHIT - THATS A MINI ME I TALK TO ME IN FULL BITCH NIGGAS .. WHO LIVE W YOU RN- MY PPL 🙂🖕

[minaharkerdailymirror]

He had found comfort and safety again....with someone who had spent her whole adult life looking for ways to kill people like him. They lay here tangled up together safe and happy, it was so ironic that hey'd not found peace with their own kind so drifted towards the other. Who better to be softer like a human? who better to understand the darkness like a vampire?

Then she asked the question, one of the hardest one that hse was going to have to ask. And he was equally honest.

It was easy to accept that he was probably leaving a whole hell of a lot out or changing some things to make him better. All lovers did that to each other. But she hoped or at least most of this he was honest. He would have to know that she wouldn't be comfortable with the fact he'd gone into this man's memories and altered him. But if this man wanted to change, and Armand didn't want to give it to him what choice did he have? And who the bloody hell wanted this sort of life anyway? Centuries of not seeing the sun? Ruled by your thirst for how long? Everyone dying around you? That's not a life. Yet for decades Armand hadn't turned this man, not even for love. Could it be the most 'damned' vampire was the most fucking responsible one?

As Armand turned away from her, Mina waited for him to finish and went to hug him from behind tightly, so he knew she was there, "Thank you for telling me. I know it was hard. I just needed to be sure if it was anyone changed it was at least willing. I can forgive so much, and that's probably to my detriment...but it would be so hard to look away from an unwilling turning."

But only one fledgling. And a bitter ex no doubt who would probably charge into her life again. But he also had no intention to force her to turn and Mina felt safe again

Armand laid it bare for her, these painful things for himself tonight. And Mina had some things to think about.

The couch would not be the most comfortable to sleep on smooshed together like this but somehow it was their safe place together. Mina wasn't about to break that by awkwardly asking if he wanted to to bed. They could settle in and sleep here. Mina sat up to grab a blanket tossed by thier feet and pulled it across both of them as a little cocoon of safety.

"I'm here," she promised within the blankets warmth, and went to spoon him, went to interlock her fingers with his.

Mina smiled sadly as he'd told her she'd been gentle with him. She'd tried her best, yes there was a few missteps but she'd genuinely tried her best, "So you're happier being soft and gentle to me?"

Was it a relief for him to show this side of himself? Or was it more like an experiment? She didn't expect he'd show this side to anyone else but her.

"He was a brute," Mina whispered brokenly, starting to live in the memory. She clung to him almost like a lifeline. Like she could be pulled away at any moment if they loosened their grip on each other, "I just need to know something Armand, the one thing I need to know before I make any further decision with you and whatever future we might have: have you ever forced someone to turn unwillingly?' It won't be the end of us and whatever we are....but I just need to know."

He wasn't Dracula. He couldn't be Dracula.

[mariautistic]

:(!

[madexinxheaven]

[deithe]

i just want to say it's nice to know someone is going through it like I am, but the health services really are appalling here arent they! I was thinking about trying to find somewhere to get adhd diagnosed as well but I'm actually kind of scared about how long itd take and if itd be a waste in the end and I have no hopes for any top surgery til I'm like about 30 I really wish theyd cop on like

sorry with the late reply, but fuck yeah. it's a pure state in every way, not even just mental health and trans health care services. the hospitals are so easily overwhelmed due to lack of funding (esp with beds. my nan had to spend the night on a trolley when she went into surgery for her hand) and it's fuckin mad how bad the hse is.

I've been through camhs and jigsaw (which. hm. i like jigsaw but it just didn't work for me) and only recently got seen by someone in kacs. it took me three years to get that and I know people waiting much longer for stuff. don't get me started on trans-friendly mental health services in rural areas (of which there are little).

and yeah. i know people who are trans (both transmasc people and transfeminine people) and it's a mixed bag. people don't start transitioning fully where I'm from until they leave for college/the cities and those who do transition socially here are very low in numbers. but from those who have started any kind of medical transition the most I've seen is hrt (which you have to travel to dublin for, cause there's only two people in all of ireland that can prescribe them). top surgery is something you have to go abroad for now since that doctor retired. it's. 🙃.

it's demeaning, especially since a lot of people end up just getting hormones online cause the process of getting a gender dysphoria diagnosis through the public system takes so long and you have to prove yourself to a fucking psychiatrist.

anyways, I have hope that shit can change and you probably won't have to wait that long, dude. promise you that there'll be an improvement in trans healthcare hopefully and the hse might cop on and start to cut down those waiting lists. good luck to both of us, I suppose

[rosiehwestwick]

Her cheeks were burning, her mind was a little burry while her thoughts were running wildly and quickly making up stories in her head. It was not easy to be married to an actor and the main reason was because of all these weeks away from home. the conversations with some girlfriends were being repeated in her mind and how they spoke constantly about the man "needs" besides, how most of their significant ones have cheated at least once. Ed was not there, was he? —of course not! hse was not like that but then why he acted so sweet and soft to someone from work? someone he had met just a few weeks ago. The blonde had walked upstairs, the main room was immaculate and exactly what she liked it, her bags were already there so she hurried to open one of them, she needed to keep hed mind busy in some other chore or she would scream and start an awful fight with him, but he didn't wait any longer, in his plans was not the idea of giving her a moment to calm down, he wanted to hear what she was thinking and feeling and how she dared to read his personal messages. Rosie turned aroun when Ed walked in. She let out a sigh in annoyance "you gave me your fucking phone, it's not my fault that you get texts from that woman so often. and don't talk to me like that! i am not the one who is being the sweetest human towards another man" she snapped while she started taking off her jewerly in front of the mirror forgetting for a moment about her bag and the clothes she had started take out of it.

Rosie's heart was beating fast, it was an awful sensation accompanied by a hole in her stomach, her mind was running wild and the meaning behind those texts were being magnified by her mind. She couldn't help to wonder why Ed was THAT nice to another woman, especially when he had spent several weeks away from his family, from her and their ilfe together, she knew how loneliness and a country like Italy could do. She took her eyes off the screen-phone and glanced over him, she knew he had recognized that look in her eyes but she didn't want to dissimulate or pretend she was okay with how gentle and sweet he was being with a woman who practically spent 24/7 with him in such a demandant job. Rosie looked away and placed her hand against her cheek and lips looking out the window while she moved her foot anxiously trying to contain herself from making a big scene with the kids there. "i'm not starting anything" she snapped at him when he begged once again to stop whatever she was doing. "Answer your texts and order the food. I'm going to unpack the kids' clothes" she said coldly and stood up leaving the couch where all the kids were and leading to the main bedroom. "FucK" she mumbled angry and jealous repeating in her mind the lines he had written for other woman, too kind, too nice, too sweet. she thought.

[ly0nstea]

Shit the Atla characters will have to deal with to becoming like, functioning humans not at war

Firstly, Aang is a genocide victim, and he never gets time to realise that beyond "oh no my friends and mentor are dead god damn it" and it goes a lot deeper than that, but also aang probably has a saviour complex and needs to learn that he doenst have to solve every problem for everyone and to take a break.

Sokka and Katara largely have the same issues, they (like zuko and azula) need to learn how to be kids while they still can. Especially Katara having to learn she doesnt always have to be straight man and responsible one and the 'mom friend' otherwise shes probably going to look back and regret not enjoying her childhood as much as hse shouldve.

Pretty much all of the Fire Nation Kids (including Zuko) need to unlearn a lot of xenophobia and imperialism, but also characters like Sokka and Katara and Jet need to learn that the fire nation isnt a monolith and fire nation does not immediately equal bad.

Azula might just have the most issues out of anyone, I mean severe abandonment and trust issues, and if the effects of her breakdown persist, it could be as serious as paranoia, hallucinations, and severe emotional distress. Not to mentions her issues with her mother and like everyone else she knows really she had no one by the end.

Zuko needs to learn how to actually have a conversation without resorting to either threats, firebending, or theats while firebending like holy shit take a deescalation class man.

Mai should probably take some anti-depressents at the very least, at most fix herself because thats not a sustainable outlook.

Ty Lee seems the most put together at a surface level, but if memory serves she had like 7 identical sisters so, theres definetly some stuff there.

Jets got A LOT (and fuck you his story is only improved by him not dying under ba sing se) along with unlearning the whole "Fire nation automatically = bad" mantra, being brainwashed definetly fucked with his head, along with his friends smellerbee and longshot sort of abandoning him because they thought he was too far gone.

Toph's got authority issues, which actually seems to be the only one that gets resolved in canon, and I feel like its the most likely one where the character will just grow out of it with time a serious conversation with her parents

Let me know if i missed anything

[aliceyabusamesoneball]

ok guys this is the very very last one. i swear. i wont say anything about claires umm breasts afyer this. BUT OH MY GODDDDDD CLAIRE IS SO FUCKING FINE AND FOR WHAT SHES SO GORGEOUS FOR LITERALLY NO REASON SHE HAS SUCH A GOOD FIGURE B????????????? I MEAN SHE WORKS OUT SO OBVIOUSLY BUT LIKE............ MAN........ HSES SO BEAUTIFUL

[pxppinmolly-archived]

Mkay here we go!!!!!!!!

There is some doubles in here cus tbfh I can’t put Molly’s feelings into some of these guys into one place but let’s go over the list.

Some will get more explanation than others, but some will just get grouped together or just short one line and moves on.

Also important to note this is based MOSTLY outside of the trials and not ENTIRELY just going against them but her overall opinion on dealing with these assholes AS A WHOLE

First tier with Amanda and Legion!

Firstly let’s break down Legion. I imagine Molly definitely likes to fuck with Frank and Julie especially because they’re feral and it also provides Molly as much enrichment outside without much of fear of her actual life/equal ground and it’s just... Fun? They’re funny. Molly doesn’t very much like being around Joey and kinda avoids the guy, but I think she genuinely would like Susie and really feel for her and is actually .. probably the only killer Molly is on good terms with and genuinely nice to. Susie is just baby with some shitty friends-- OAKSDJFG

Amanda is in top and second list because, going off my Amanda at the least, I imagine them having high tension and definitely bicker and fight and sometimes get handsy with each other because they both can be aggressive bitches but it’s nothing out of entire hatred. They’re interesting. Molly challenges Amanda and Amanda challenges Molly, but Molly as empathetic as she is does offer SOME sort of sympathy toward Amanda, which pisses her off but only because hse doesn’t know what to do with it.

Next tier now off Amanda and onto Nurse and Spirit. Molly ... Doesn’t like the nurse, but she doesn’t hate her either? She has feelings toward her but she doesn’t know which ones. ODKFJG

Now with Rin  She feels empathetic toward her but she doesn’t really hate her or anything, but she doesn’t really like her. Same with nurse she has feelings but not sure where they go. OAKDJ

ONTO NEUTRALS

Only ones worthy of note to talk about is so far with Caleb Molly recently seeing a new side of him with Ghost’s boy and growing to be like ... Hey at least he is cordial and seeing him as the more wronged man he was and almost just as much of a victim if not just as much as the rest of them. Offering a new insight to her esp how not everyone here is as willing as it seems.

She thinks the plague is pretty aesthetic wise and her voice is beautiful but jesus christ as a nurse it literally makes her feel skeeved and ill looking at that woman. AKSDJ

Wraith and Bubba kinda unsettle her but she doesn’t mind them and think they could be nice if in different circumstances :’/

AVOIDING.

Hag, Michael, Doctor, Blight, PH, Oni, Nemesis, Demo, all make Molly uncomfortable and unsettle her. Especially seeing as they are all mostly lacking a lot of conversational skills, seem inhumane and are fucking scary looking and some of them irredeemable monsters.

Now. Ghostface is in this tier and the next tier so let’s talk about it.

Molly doesn’t like Danny at all. He upsets her. Unsettles her. He’s voyueristic and weird and disgusting and she doesn’t like being near him at ALL. Skeeves her out with how much of a stalker he is and she doesn’t like it. He makes her skin crawl and I definitely imagine him knowing this and fucking with her for it.

KILLING.

Molly and Huntress beef is literally here because I think it’s funny there’s really no other reason it’s just funny.

Freddy I don’t think needs much explanation either that guy fucking sucks and is gross and creepy and predatory and he’s the first she’d murder if she could.

I talked before I imagine clown being the type to lowkey fixate on Molly being a pretty young blonde woman and Molly finds him utterly repulsive and gross and disgusting and hates being around him or even hearing of him in any way shape or fucking form.

CONTAINMENT ZONE.

Trickster gets his own place because it’s all over the place.

I can imagine outside trials Molly having a similar time with Frank on them going back and forth at each other ... But at the same time Ji-Woon unsettles her. Makes her uncomfortable. Because he knows her, least going off of Jules Trickster here, He knows what makes her tick and what to push to get her to react and she hates it. And also, there’s a part of her that, she knows she’d be a victim IRL because she does know and see how charming and attractive he is and it’s scary to think about. Molly has types-

Molly would kill him if she could and wants to choke him out, but also she DOES enjoy outside trials, and sometimes even in them depending on the situation, the back and forth because I imagine she doesn’t GET that much with a lot of the killers since most are nonverbal or aren’t very much fun to wise crack against. But he is. So least it offers something to keep her going - having a chance to run her fucking mouth gives her motivation. OADIFJ

SO BASICALLY Trickster is both in the first two and last tiers thus he gets his own spot.

[nightfallsystem-moved]

im just so sick of this it is my human fucking right to be gendered correctly i am fucking serious i dont want to die before i get a chance to do anything in life but i might if hse keeps this up i cannt take all this transphobia man call me sensitive but this is sending me insane

if my mother continues to be transphobic im going to pull the "i am goign to severely injure myself if you kepe this up" card and i honestly will if hthey keep this up I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE I AM A BOY IM NOT A FUCKING "THEY" IM NOT YOUR "CHILD" I AM YOUR FUCKING SON.

[hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall]

The PA - part 3/3

Pairing: Tony Stark x named!Reader

Summary: You have had neough of Tony Stark and his arrogant, selfish ass. So you leave... At least for a while. 

Warnings: Swearing (a lot), angst, fluff.

A/N: Ok, this a hostirical date for me, as this is my FIRST EVER story I finished. I know it was a short one, but I am still proud. There is a lot going on in this chapter and I thought of ending it differently but here you go. I hope you all liked it <3

Comments and opinions are always welcomed :*

Words: 6000+ (ooops)

nothing really changed. You were hidden in your office doing everything your boss needed without the need to ask. You sent him everything via email and cared for his health fr the shadow. A cooked dinner and bottles of water were always waiting for him. Adding a hot chocolate for the night. Nothing changed. And yet everything did. 

Those hot chocolates you used to make were now drunk alone. There was no billionaire to join you in it with his sarcastic and fun comments. There were no back massage that you enjoyed giving almost as much as he receiving. And what's more, there were no parties for you. You couldn't bear to see him dancing, kissing and flirting with went. You knew you were pathetic. You loved the man who would never see you as more than just a worker and a "kid". 

Who were you kidding. You had nothing on the women he was 'seeing'. All those pretty little things with perfect bodies and probably experienced enough to keep him entertained for a whole night. 

You swallowed and shook your head to get that image out of it. You were tired. There wasn't more work per se but it exhausted you mentally to always try to omit him. You missed him his face, the smile and cheeky comments. But you couldn't do it to your heart. A heart that has already been broken so many times by the same man. 

You looked up when a ping when an email showed up. To your personal email. Your heart skipped a beat and eyes widened their twice size, when you noticed the sender. 

"What the fuck?" You whispered and turned around hearing a gasp. You met with a smiling Romanoff, leaving on the edge of the doors. 

"This is the first time I heard you swear" She said teasingly. "What got you so worked up?"

You moved away from the laptop for her to see. She read through the email carefully and she looked at you with the biggest softness and pride anyone has ever showed you. 

"This is amazing. A damn MIT wants you to work with them. This is huge, honey!" You bit your lip and looked away. "But for some unknown reasons you don't look happy."

"It's just an interview, it doesn't mean I will get the job, and… " You looked away, a shame of even thinking about it in the moment like that. 

"And you would have to leave Tony… " You closed your eyes, hating how she was able to just understand you without words. A damn Russian spy stuff. "He's an adult…  you'll just find him a new assistant. Or a babysitter, I'm never sure what your official position actually is." You giggled at her playfulness and rolled your eyes at her. 

"I have been working for him for so long… I can't just leave him alone." You looked away when she frowned and sighed. Of the 'Disappointed Natasha Romanoff' comes to action. 

"What about you? When will you finally take care of yourself?" Her stern tone made you flinch and start to nervously play with the hem of your Iron Maiden shirt. "You had dreams, and I sure know you have hobbies. You're still young, but act like a 60 years old woman, for God's sake." You clenched your fingers and shut your eyes, to stop the tears from falling. She was angry and that was the first time you noticed this. What was worse she was disappointed at you, and that hurt you more than anything. 

Natasha Romanoff was like an older sister for you. You learned to love her and you felt her love towards you, despite the fact that she showed it differently to other people. She was there for you and knew about your hidden feelings to Stark.  She always supported you and told you how everything will be fine. She understood your shyness and tried to work through your low self esteem. She was always patient with you. Until now. You guessed, everyone had their limit, and ger has just ended. 

"You stay here, hidden in this cave. Running away from your feelings. You are afraid to do anything. You got so used to being his assistant that you are afraid of being alone. And your pinning to Tony? I hoped you'd understand that int hat party. He isn't a relationship type of guy and you're not a one night stand type of girl. Your love for him? Stop going for something you can't have!" You lowered your head to hide the tears that started to fall. You clenched your fingers on your thigh so hard that you could feel how your nails climbed into your clothes. But it didn't bother you. The physical was not even close to your mental one. It was one thing to make yourself believe that this love you had would never happen, but when someone else said it to you. It made it real. "Stop living in a dream world and wake up, before it's too late! " She hissed and stormed out of your lablab.  And this was when everything you hidden so deep inside you, went out to the light. You asked Jarvis to lock the doors to your lab and you screamed and cried until you had no more tears. 

*

"Weren't you a bit too harsh?" She looked at Bucky who was leaning on the wall, near the elevator. 

"She needed that." Barnes scoffed and followed the redhead. "She's was about to turn down her dream job for him." Bucky frowned and sighed. "She loves him and all he does is hurt her. It isn't his fault really. He doesn't know, doesn't understand. Stark isn't the type of person that would be able to see true love. This is why she needs to let go. Live her own life. And if getting her dream job and leaving him would make it happen than she needs to. " Barnes smiled sadly. Nat really cared about you. Hse loved you like you were her little sister and he found it charming. But he did feel bad for you. You fell in love with a wrong guy. A very decent human, but a dumb man. 

**

You looked at you clothes and sighed. It wasn't you. You didn't dress like that. A pencil skirt and a white shirt. You felt uncomfortable and stupid. You flinched when you put the heels on and sighed. Well it was a job interview. You needed to look presentable. You took your bag with everything you needed in it and took a deep breath. Yes, it was just an interview. Not like you'd get that job. There were hundreds applicants will were probably better than you. But after Nat you decided to give it a try. You didn't speak to her, and if you were being honest, you didn't speak to anyone. No one new about your bid day, not even Tony. He didn't need to know. It was only an interview. The first step of it. Not like you were leaving him just yet. 

And so you walked to the elevators and dl being deep down in your thoughts you didn't notice Tony waiting for the elevator, just as you walked out. 

"To…  Mr. Stark… " You whispered, when you almost walked into him. He looked you over and frowned. 

"A hot date?" He asked. You knew he tried to joke but there was something in his tone that made you wonder it he was really kidding. 

"I…" You clenched your bag and bit your bottom lip nervously. "I will be back soon." He raised his brow and nodded, not saying anything else walked into the elevator, leaving you standing there. This did not help your anxiety at all. You tried to relax and went to your already waiting Uber. 

*

"She has a what now?" Tony shouted looking at Natasha with anger in his eyes. "She never told me! "

"It was hard to tell you when you both omitted Yourselves… " She answered with a roll to her eyes. "MIT if I remember right." His eyes widelec, remembering how much you always wanted to work there. A job interview. You went to a job interview without telling him. 

"Well good for her." He shrugged, turning around to miss the way the woman rolled her eyes. "What should I do? Isn't it like breaking some kind of contract? Going to a job interview still working for me?"

"Don't be petty, Tony." She warned him and he scoffed. 

"I thought she would at least tell me. You know for references… "

"She wasn't sure she'd get the job. Not to mention the fact I needed to force her to go." He frowned and she rolled her eyes. Men were really stupid. "Talk to her, Tony. But like a proper human being. An adult." She patted him on the shoulder and left the room, leaving him alone. 

**

You sighed and sat at your desk, feeling more than tired. The whole interview was exhausted, and you weren’t sure if most of those questions were even appropriate. ‘How close are you with Mr Stark?’ ‘Do you believe Mr Stark would be up to donating money for our cause?’ And more inappropriate and too personal questions for your liking. You were happy when the rector finally showed up. It was when you shined the most. Talking about your PhD project, the possible prospects of it and your father ideas. Even Though he asked you about Stark, those questions were thoughtful. 

“He has his reputation”, he chuckled softly and you nodded unable to disagree. “Not many people would leave a safe, warm, probably well-paid job, to come work with us.” He took off his glasses and looked at you. “Is there something I should know? The reason for your application with us?” 

“I was right after Uni, when Mr Stark gave me that job.” You answered quietly, feeling a weird shame for even being here. “It was a great opportunity for me to grow, but I want to be a scientist, not a PA.” You smiled and looked him in the eyes. “Don’t get me wrong. Working with Mr Stark was a privilege and I was able to learn so much from him, but it’s time for me to make my own projects.” Visibly satisfied with your answer he put his glasses back on and looked at your CV.

“How about you tell us more about that idea you had?”

You closed your eyes and sighed. You felt good after the whole discussion, but it still felt like you would not get the job. Not to mention, that you would probably have to talk to Tony about your references. You whined and lay on your desk. 

“Are you alright, Miss?” Jarvis’ voice was filled with concern, after registering your annoyed noises. 

“Not really. I think I have an existential crisis.” You chuckled to yourself, at how stupid that sounded. 

“Anything I can help you with?” You smiled at his thoughtfulness. 

“Is there some kind of algorithm that would help me choose between what my heart and my brain tell me?” There was a silence for a moment after Jarvis turned on your computer showing you multiple web pages opened. 

“I’m afraid there is no algorithm, but there some sociological and psychological studies regarding the issue.” You sat up and laughed out loud at this. “But Mr Stark always considered social sciences an, let me quote, “utter bullshit”, so I am not sure if they would help you. 

‘Thank you Jarvis, you’re the best!” You quipped looking through the pages.

“I’ve been told!”

**

“I know that, she worked for me for some time now.” He murmured through the phone. He expected the call for references, but not so soon. He was sure to hear you just come back.

“This is a huge deal. We have never hired someone so young and with so little experience before.” The rector sighed on the other side of the phone. “I need to know if she will work out.” Tony frowned and looked through the window. He had Nat’s voice in his head telling him to be an adult, to not be selfish. But he can’t. He cannot lose you. You were the best and brightest thing in his life now. WIthout you he would be lost. As an Iron Man, and as Tony Stark. So he did something selfish, already hating himself for it. 

“She’s a good PA. That’s all I can say.” It was harsh, and was definitely burying your chances. He knew you were more than that. He saw you in his lab, repairing his armour, or adding comments to his plans. You were more than a secretary. You were a genius. The best possible person for this job. But he was petty. He was once again acting like a kid. He heard the rectors deep sigh and he understood, that he just fucked up. Your career, your life. And the solemn idea of you finding out about it, was killing him. 

“I understand confidentiality is still a thing up there?” He asked and could hear the man chuckle. 

“Don’t worry, Tony.” He turned the phone off and threw it across the room, watching it crack on the wall. He fucked up. Badly. 

**

“I see!” You tried to keep your voice as steady as possible, despite the tears appearing in your eyes. “No, no I understand, of course.” The strings of thanks and apologies were thrown and you bit your lip, hoping to end the call ASAP. “Yes, I will!” You lied, when the rector told you to keep on trying. You ended the call and let the tears flow. 

It was stupid really. You knew deep down, that you wouldn’t get the job and yet. Yet it still hurt to know you weren’t enough. You wanted to climb the highest of mountains so it should not have surprised you to fall. 

“What’s wrong?” You wiped your tears and put your phone away. 

“Nothing, Natasha, everything is under control.” You stated, your voice only a bit shaky. You didn’t turn to welcome her. You opened your laptop and started to work. 

“Did you go?” She asked, and you rolled your eyes. Can’t you just be left alone?

“Yes” short answers, hoping for her to understand you didn’t want to talk. Especially not with her. Not with the person that pushed you to go. “I’m sorry Natasha, I have lots of work to do.” The woman raised her brows and sighed. 

“What happened?” 

“I’m just a PA.” You answered after a moment of awkwards silence. “Without much of experience in the field. I’m nothing more than Stark’s PA, who happened to finish MIT.” You shrugged your shoulders and sighed. The tears were back and the screen was starting to get blurry. “At least I don’t have to choose anymore!” You chuckled through the sobs and hid your face in your hands. “I’m sorry. Can you… I did what you told me to. I went and I failed, please can you leave me alone? One time in my damn life I thought I am worth more than I truly am! And I knew that, but then you …!” You got up and looked her in her beautiful eyes. “Do you know why I always hide in that fucking shell of mine, you seem to have such a problem with!?” Widow’s eyes widened at your use of language. She never seen you like that. Never heard you speak so that. That little, quiet mice seemed to have enough. “Because my life taught me, that I will never be more than I am. I was never enough for anyone. My parents, people at school and Uni, my professors, and him… I learned to live with the fact that I am nothing more than a loser, unwanted by anyone. But then you had to make me go and…” 

“I’m sorry.” She pulled you for a huge and kissed you at the top of your head. “I just wanted to help. I wanted to see you happy. See you live your own life. I’m sorry, sweety.” She cooed you and you couldn’t help but hug her back, repeating words of apologise into her neck. 

*

He closed his eyes hearing your cries. Your tone, the raised voice. He wondered how long were you keeping those feelings inside. It broke his stoned heart to see you, hear you like that, only to know that he was the reason for this. You blamed Nat for it, only because you didn’t know how awful he was. He took a deep breath, and deciding to leave you be, he came back to him room. Hoping Romanoff would help you. 

**

“What’s wrong, kiddos?” He announced looking at the Avengers assembling in the kitchen. 

“Please stop saying that. There are at least three people  here who are older than you.” Clint sighed, playing with his chips. 

“What’s up with Lex?” Steve asked with his Captain America voice, glancing at Stark, his guts telling him, the billionaire had something to do with it. 

“What do you mean?” He asked, playing stupid. It has been two weeks since the MIT call and Tony hasn’t seen you. He wasn’t sure if you were ignoring him even more than after the Christmas party, or you were just that busy. You did work. Yes, definitely did work. Everything went more smoothly than ever. He noticed because he had more free time. And if he was being honest, he was starting to get bored. 

“I haven’t seen her since the party. I thought it was die to the New Year party workload, but then she seemed to disappear even more.”

“Yeah not to mention that I actually miss that big smile on her face, when she sees her favorite Avenger. “Sam chimed in, making Bucky and Nat roll their eyes. “But seriously, should we worry?” Everyone looked at Stark who sighed deeply, taking his cup of coffee with him. 

“I’ll talk to her, kids. No worries, daddy will take care of it.”

“I really hate when he says that!” He chuckled, hearing Steve’s disgust in tone. 

**

“So she lives!” You jumped at his voice, behind you. It was a middle of the night and you truly hoped he would be sleeping already. Or at least at his room. “Are you making the magical chocolate?”

“Magical chocolate?” You raised your brow at him and he smiled, shrugging his shoulder. 

“I never had a better massage than during that hot chocolate night meeting last time.” you blushed and looked away, hearing him chuckle. “Any leftovers?” You nodded and prepared him a cup, pouring the mixture into it, and adding the marshmallows. She put it in front of him and was about to leave, when his fingers circled at your wrists, stopping you. “Sit with me, please.” You bit your lip nervously and obeyed taking the sit opposite. As far as possible. “I have something to tell you and you have to promise me you will listen to everything before you slap me and slap the doors behind you.” You frowned and looked at him. Your heart broken a bit, when you noticed the face he made. He looked like a kicked puppy. Like a little kid that knew he messed up. 

“Mr Stark, I don’t…”

“Please… They worry about you. I worry about you. Since that damn stupid Christmas party everything went to hell. I fucked up, you saw it and…

“Listen. When you started working for me I made it clear fuck complete of a mess I was, right?” You raised your brow but nodded, even a small smile appearing on your lips. “I am a messed up person. A guy in his…” He coughed awkwardly. “Well my age doesn't matter here.” You bit your lip not to laugh, which made him smile. “I always got what I wanted. A spoiled, stupid kid, with more money and looks than brain.

“I still don’t know what you see in me.” He smiled at you softly. “I am not stupid, kid. I see the way you look at me. I do. And it flattens me. You are this genuine girl, with kind heart, smart and beautiful in and out and… You are too innocent for me to break you. I am not someone you should fall in love with. Someone who should be your first boyfriend. Your first love in life.”

“Forgive me, but I think I should have a right to decide who I fall in love with…” You bit your lip nervously, staring at the table. You missed the way he smiled softly at that. His look softened and he sighed. 

“Of course. But this… This is not the reason why I needed to talk to you…” You nodded, giving him a go to continue. “How was your interview at MIT?” You stiffened and looked at him with big eyes. 

“Natasha told you?” 

“The rector called.” You swallowed and frowned. “For references…” Something in his tone made you realise where this was going and you felt your heart beat fasten. “I… I’m sorry kid. I-I couldn’t let you go. I needed you. I… fuck I didn’t want to live in a life where you wouldn’t be there to help me. Be there for me and…”

“What did you say, Tony?” If the situation was different he would enjoy the fact that you said his name, but not now, not with the seriousness behind it. 

“I said you were a good PA.” The pain in your eyes broke his heart. You opened your eyes to say something, but couldn’t. All this made sense now. The good interview and an awful ending. “Listen… I know you may hate me now…”

“Is this all that I am?” You asked and frowned. “Is this really what you think of me? A good PA?” There was a silence between the two of you. A painful one. For both him and you. 

“Of course not. You are so much more.” He tried to hold onto your hand, but you backed away. “You are so smart and incredibly talented. You can do so much more than just this job.  I…

“I was afraid that you would leave and I would be alone. And this scared the shit out of me.I can’t imagine you not being here. Not being able to…”

“I quit.” His heart stopped at your proclamation. You stood up, still looking down at the table. Your hands starting to shake with anger, your heart beat fastened and you felt like you were about to cry. “I can’t… You crossed that line…”

“What line?” He asked, looking at you, hoping that whatever you just said was a stupid slip off. “I apologised, damn it!”

“And, what? Everything should be fine now? Because you apologised!?” You shouted, staring at him with your angry expression. “For so many years I hid my anger towards you. I hid it, because I loved you more than I was angry at you.” His eyes widened. He expected your feelings, but hearing them was a totally different aspect. “But this? You ruined my future, my dreams because you are a selfish bastard!” You pushed your hands away from him to make sure you wouldn’t punch him. 

“I told you I was afraid…” 

“Yes!” You shouted, tears streaming down your cheeks. “You were afraid. You didn’t stop for a second to even consider how I was feeling. You knew… I told you so many times before about my dreams. About my insecurities about them, and yet you used them against me. You used that biggest doubt and used it for your own good! It shouldn’t surprise me, not should it hurt. But yet here I am, with my heart broken. Because I was so close in burying that dream, only to make you happy. To stay by your side, because helping you was more important for me than pursuing my own dreams!” You shook your head and clenched your fingers. “I went for that damn interview, because Natasha made me. She told me I hiding behind you, afraid to take a step forward. But it wasn’t it. I was just trying to protect you. Make you happy. And what do I get in return? you betrayed me, Tony. The one person I thought I could trust, the one person who I thought new about my insecurities. The one man I was able to trust and love in my stupid life, used me, because his needs were more important than what I’d want.” You wiped your eyes and turned around. “I will send you an email with PA that would gladly take my place.”

“I don’t want them!” he shouted, getting up to get closer to you. “I don’t want anyone, but you. I know! Fuck, I know i made a mistake. I know I was selfish, but please… one more time. Give me a chance to prove myself. To show you I am not a dick! Please! I won’t survive without you. I need you. I…”

“No Tony... “ You smiled sadly and took a step away from him. “You don’t need me. You need the idea of me. You need a person who would follow your every step, Who would do your job without saying a word. Who would follow you like a lost puppy. A part of me always thought you gave me this job due to my powers, but that it wasn’t it. You just needed someone who would adore you the same way you adore yourself. But I had enough.”

“I thought you love me!” He hissed at you, when you were almost at the corridor. “Was that a lie?” Not able to control yourself you laughed through tears. You turned around, walked towards him and slapped him across the face. 

“Don’t you ever dare to say that! i loved you for so long. I loved you when you brought all those women here. I loved you when you shouted at me and made me feel like I was nothing. I loved you when you were away to those damn missions. i loved you while I was healing you and I loved you when you pushed your tongue in that blonde’s mouth.” He flinched, remembering the Christmas party. “I loved you despite hurting. I loved you so much that I decided to stay by your side for so long, despite being unwanted. I knew… I knew how absurd those feelings were. I knew someone like you, who has everything, would never fall in love with me. And you made that completely clear at the party. You gave a little hope, and then crushed it. But not anymore Tony. I have had enough and before it escalates I need to leave.”

“You won’t get any opinion from me. You won’t get a job anywhere in the industry” He shouted. He hated himself when those words left his lips. He hated the look you gave him. He wanted to apologize and say that this was bullshit. He wanted you to stay. But he knew, there was no way. No way for you to forgive him. Not anymore. 

“Yeah. Thanks, Mr Stark. It was a pleasure to work for you!”

***

He watched you smile at the kid, who giggled at your adorable, funny face. She was crying and you did everything you could to stop her from crying, while her mom went to the bathroom. He didn’t know how good you were with kids. He never seen you with any. He watched you give her a chocolate cookie, which had probably brighten her day. And he watched when you smiled at the woman, who was probably thanking you for taking care of the little girl. 

He looked at the place and sighed. This was not something you dreamed of. It was an MIT nor a technological industry. When you left for real, leaving him with a three page long email with names of the best PAs in the country, he called every big business, including MIT, giving them the best references he could give. His heart broken even more, when the MIT’s HR called and told him that you have declined their job offer. You hated him and he hated himself. 

He knew Natasha talked to you from time to time. Clint and Steve came here for your coffee and “The best apple pie’ in Boston. They took that extra way to see you at least once in three months. Bruce send you emails regarding some new tech Avengers were using and you answered him with possible ideas of how to make them better. 

You still loved that world. He could see it and hear how you missed that and the Avengers. he was able to see through Jarvis’ system, that you connected to talk to him. You kept in touch with everyone, even a stupid AI, and not him. You left the next day. Your bags were gone, room cleaned up and only an email waiting for him. 

Mr Stark.

According to our contract I should be giving you a two weeks notice of my leaving, however, due to my unused vacation days, I am taking them and I quit immediately from today. As I promised, you can find attached the list of the best PA in this country. I made you all of your business had been taken care of. 

I would greatly appreciate if you didn’t try to get in touch with me in any ways. I am planning on starting a new life. I hope our paths won’t have to cross in the future and....

I wish you well, Tony. I really do. When I think about it, it was me who was an idiot. It was me who fallen in love with someone who could only love himself. I was the idiot one. So yes. I do wish you all the best Tony. 

Love, 

Lex

He hated and loved this email. It was the last thing from you. He didn’t contact you, didn’t try to find you. You deserved it. After everything he’s done for you, you deserved freedom from him. Away from his selfish ass. 

He was able to keep that promise for two years. Two years of his teammates talking about your new coffee place, your new flat in Boston and a boyfriend you broke up with two months ago. They tried to stay quiet when he walked in but he was still able to hear them. They loved and cared about you. And who was he to neglect that. 

But two years were enough. He had enough and he decided to be selfish this one time. One more time. Come here see you and if you give him a chance, apologise. 

“Iron Man!” He froze hearing a boy shouting from the inside of the coffee place. He noticed your frozen figure and he wanted to run away. He was actually very close in just walking away, when you turned around and he felt his heart stopping. You became so beautiful. You have lost some weight, your hair gotten longer at those eyes. Those beautiful eyes were still so mesmerizing. “Mommy, It’s Tony Stark!” 

You watched with disbelief at the man outside of your coffee place. You followed his every move, when he walked in, and smiled at the boy, taking some pictures with him and signing his cap. You scanned him and something you hoped died a long time ago, came back to life. The butterflies were back. You closed your eyes and turned around, pretending like you were focused on cleaning the coffee machine. Anything not to look at him. not to focus on those beautiful face, and charming smile. 

“Lex”, you flinched at his quiet, almost scared whisper. He walked closer and you were afraid to turn around. “Ma’am can i order?” You rolled your eyes. You couldn’t just say no. It was possible that it was a coincidence. Maybe he came here for business and… No! It was Tony Stark, nothing was just ‘lucky’ for him. 

“Of course, sir. What would you like?” You turned around and tried to give him your most natural, customer service smile. 

“How about that chocolate you used to make and 10 minutes of your time.” You bit your lips and took a deep breath. 

“We have three types of chocolate, Sir. What is it you want? White, milk or dark?” 

“Lex, please!” He whispered, his hands travelled to cup yours, but you took a step away from the counter. He closed his eyes and looked around. “Can we please talk when you close? Please?” It wasn’t often that Tony Stark was begging and the mean part, which hated him, was happy to see him in emotional pain. But the part that still loved him felt sorry for him. And so you agreed, telling him you were closing in three hours. He ordered a dark chocolate and an apple pie and sat at the corner of the place, patiently waiting. 

*

“I told you not to contact me!” You hissed, when the last customer left the place. You turned around and gave him your angry look. “One thing I asked of you! Damn it, Stark!”

“Two years… Come on, Lex. It’s been two years I missed you.” He sounded and looked so small. He looked like he wanted to cry and run away as quickly as possible. Like coming here was the biggest mistake of his life. “I… Fuck… Can we sit down?” You crossed your hands on your chest and he sighed. “I never apologised.” You frowned at him and smiled at you. A small, unsure smile. “I never said what I truly wanted to say to you that day. So if you give me ten minutes, I will tell you. 10 minutes and maybe one more of your chocolate?”

“I turned off the machine.” You stated, making him swallow hard at your tone. 

“Sure. Yeah.” He took a deep breath and sat down on one of the stools. “I was the biggest asshole in the Universe, but I was afraid. I was afraid that the only person I truly trusted and loved would leave me. Like my mom did. I was a mess when she died. She was the only one that really knew me, the same as you. But she had to be there for me, she needed to love me, because I was her child. Her only son. You didn’t have to and yet you still did. And it scared me, because I didn’t understand why someone like you would ever love me. So when I heard you went for a job interview I got scared, that I will lose you. Yes I was a selfish prick and if I could turn back time I would, trust me.

“All those things you said to me that day were true. And I just wish you would have told me them sooner, I would have the opportunity to work on myself not to lose you. I wanted to stop you and so out of fear I did something I was only good at. I pushed you away. Even more. When I heard you took down proposition from MIT I knew I fucked up.”

“I felt like I would owe you something and I didn’t want that.” He nodded and hid his face in his his hands. 

“I fucked up big times. The worst thing was not because I tried to hurt you, but because I tried to not feel pain myself. I was selfish. Hell, I am still selfish for coming here.” You raised your brow but let him continue. You heart slowly melting at his words. You never stopped loving him and this all was not making it easier to forget about him. “I know those words mean nothing to you now. But I love you and I miss you. What I wouldn’t give to have you back in my life. Even if only as a friend. I am not afraid to say that I love you. And I need you. And not the idea of you, but you. That selfless, kind hearted woman, with the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. I want and need you. With me in my life, in NY. I know you have your life here in Boston, but… I just want you to know that.”

“It took you hell of a lot of time, Stark.” He looked up and frowned seeing a little smile on your lips. “I guess I lost a bet with Nat.”

“A bet?” 

“Yeah”, you shrugged and chuckled. “I believed you’d forget about me and never come to see me, and well, Nat was sure you’d come to find me in the first three years I was away.” 

“Yeah. She’s scary. I think it’s a Russian thing.” He rolled his eyes dramatically and you chuckled. “You’re not mad at me anymore?”

“Oh, I hate you, don’t get me wrong!” He opened his mouth to say something, but was smart enough not to. “But I still love you and people say love is stronger than hate.” He was looking at you with those big puppy, brown eyes. “But I want to start over. Be your friend. Get to know Tony Stark, and…”

“And? I will give you anything you want, Lex!” He took a step closer and took your hands in his. This time you didn’t pull away. 

“That place on Brooklyn. There used to be a pancake place, but now it's free and no one bought it. I want it.” He looked at you and chuckled. Pulling you closer, he kissed the top of your head. 

“Sure thing, sweetheart. It’s all yours. So am I.”

[homestuckhecc]

she was coded and clearly intended to be transfem but its not canon. what IS canon is roxy being transmasc and i wish people would stop fucking shitting on transmascs and let us have One (1) character, bc yall won't let us have dave or dirk or john OR callie OR lanque either :(

yah I thought that Roxy was transmasc (hence why i was kinda confused with the ask earlier). Albeit I don’t keep up with the details of HS^2 since it is an omega trainwreck so idk even wtf is going on there other than Karkat being sad that Dave is dead, MeatJohn is still dead in a wallot that Terezi hasn’t done anything with yet, Roxy bends reality to be in memory and is sad about Davekat(???), and Calliope just shows up out of nowhere. although I do see a lot of disappointment in terms of the fans being fucked over like the Americans with the $600 stimulus check. 

Theres also too much issues with things being cannon or not cannon thus allowing the creators to get away with random bullshit “caAUse IT ISnT CanNon, Got ‘Em” and good representation is an allergy to these people cause they can never do it right or mock it. 

I don't even know anymore anything after HSE is just another breed of bullshit 

I just want my whacky kids to be whacky adults and be happy man...