#fuck me why does glee hate my specifically ugh

[comicreliefmorlock]

A Reader’s Guide to Writing: Lesson #2

I... expect to get shot for this. 

-sighs and puts on a helmet- Body shots, fine, but I’m trying to avoid taking a headshot for what I’m about to say. 

The Constant Reader... does not give a fuck about flat, cardboard-cutout “representation.” We just don’t. In fact, it’s downright insulting to your Readers to assume that labeling your character “insert woke points here” will automatically endear them to us. 

(...god I’m going to get in so much trouble for this...)

When I see a book described as “it has two lesbians in it!” or “these characters are transgender!” my immediate and automatic thought is “...okay, but what is the story about? will I give a fuck about these characters?”

And that, right there, is something that can actually carry a weak plot (to a Reader’s mind) or absolutely drag a good plot into “well, I might as well finish reading it.”

Do I give a fuck about your characters?

Now this does not mean your character has to be Wholly Unproblematic or an Adorable Cinnamon Roll, Too Good, Too Pure for This World. 

What it means is “do I respond to your character like they’re fleshed out well enough for my brain to read them as a person?”

For Comparison-- Two Characters:

Here’s an example of what is honestly a really well-written character (in a... very... ugh, look, the pervasive racism makes it terrible to read now and I just kind of wince and groan at it and wince even harder knowing how well it was received) because the character has caused Emotion in a Reader.

Scarlett Fucking O’Hara.

I hate her. I’m not even kidding, I just hate this self-absorbed bitch. She drives me nuts. I’d love to yeet her off a literary cliff and watch her drown. 

...but I consider her a well-written character because she inspires emotion. I react to her. I legitimately read a page of “Gone With the Wind” (*again, I know, I’m sorry, the book’s slimy feel of ‘but... slavery was good!’ is just... horrific) and I want to grab the nearest heavy object and slam it onto her empty skull. She has obvious flaws--and they’re explicitly spelled out in the text--and those flaws totally fuck up her life. Scarlett doesn’t get what she wants because she is her own worst enemy in a lot of ways. And watching her make decisions based on what She Wants and then dealing with the aftermath feels legitimate. It feels pretty real to watch someone make a decision based on a want only to see them struggle with the result OF that decision. Not to mention the moment of realization that came too late, as let’s be fair, hindsight is 20/20 and a lot of us have had that ‘Ohhhhhhhhhhh...’ moment ourselves. 

What Scarlett has a lot of, however, is Emotion. And I don’t mean she has a lot of emotionally wrenching scenes. What I mean is Scarlett is actively driven by or affected by An Emotion at nearly every part of her story, even when that Emotion is just some self-absorbed Glee at how she’s gonna one-up this whole town.

Let me compare my reactions to Miss “I’m So Self-Absorbed I Should Be Taxonomically Classified As A Sponge” O’Hara to a character that I... honestly couldn’t give less than a fuck about, despite having read six whole books she’s the main protagonist of. 

Ayla of “Clan of the Cave Bears” Jean Auel fame. 

In the first novel, Ayla is... actually kind of interesting. A Homo Sapien child found by Neanderthals and raised in their society, there’s a bit that can be read into just how hard it is to fit into a culture and how sometimes that involves more self-repression than is mentally healthy. And in the second novel, “Valley of the Horses,” all the parts with Ayla before her Male Perfection Love Interest shows up are also fairly interesting.

She’s alone, she’s fighting to survive with only her hard-earned skills to carry her. It’s great!

And then... Jondalar arrives and we see her through His Eyes. 

I’m not sure exactly what happened here other than the novels (and Ayla) turn into a constant Display Of How Amazing Ayla Is. Everyone loves her! (And the people that don’t are Obviously Flawed and So Empty Inside.) She can do anything! She invents the needle! Horseback riding! Domesticating dogs! The travois! She’s drop-dead gorgeous, an accomplished healer, wants only to be a Good Wife (it’s a little icky, but considering the time period these books are set in, I give it a pass on that) and is always so confused as to why people seem amazed by her. 

She becomes basically a Perfect Woman and to be honest, all her struggles after that just feel like they’re directly tied to how Perfect She Is. Ayla suddenly doesn’t have An Emotion behind her. She’s just a vessel for everyone’s awe that such a “perfect woman” exists. And it just... turns her completely fuckin’ flat.

What I’ve found after doing a LOT of reading is that a Writer should keep one big thing in mind.

(And this goes triple for stories that tote themselves on the representation platform.)

Emotion--the experience of it, the sharing of it, the looking for validation of it--is one of those defining things that make what we’d call the Human Experience.

People who are looking for representation in media are looking for actual representation. For a Person like them on the screen or page. Maybe you don’t know what it’s like to be a teenager struggling with a realization of sexuality, but you can ask people who do. And you can relate YOURSELF to that on some level. 

Everyone in the world has had a moment where they’re trying to reconcile something about themselves with what the world expects or with what they expect from themselves. You can take that seed, that memory of sitting in your bedroom and listening to the same song on repeat while thinking wistful thoughts of what life could be like if This Was Different or imagining a future where What You Want is accessible, acceptable and within reach. You can find the Emotion and appeal to it.

I know that the experience of being gay or disabled or neurodivergent or trans or a minority is not universal; everyone has a different life, different experiences, different fears, worries, hopes, dreams. 

And I say this in full awareness that someone could very rightly be angry at me for paring off societal issues and cultural problems to make this accessible to writers who may want to write a specific character FIRST and THEN find sensitivity readers to help them refine it*. 

There’s a “but” to the whole “different life” thing. 

Humans have felt the basic range of emotion across the board, across the world, across time, regardless of where or when or who they are. And a Character that makes you Feel is a character that you can give a fuck about. Pare off the labels and start with the tinest, most concentrated idea of who this person is so you can find their emotions to use in the story. Are they a dreamer? A fighter? A creator? An explorer? What Emotion drives them? Hope? Curiosity? Anger? Sorrow? 

Because I personally have seen myself in characters that I have absolutely no surface experience in common with whatsoever, but I responded to the Emotion that drove them because I recognized it. I’d felt it. Maybe what created the Emotion was different (wildly so!) from what created it for me, but I had the Emotion. The character is having the Emotion. 

And that makes me give a fuck about the outcome of their story, whether the personality carrying the Emotion makes me want to cut a bitch (fuck you Scarlett) or see them succeed in every aspect of life.

[*You will want sensitivity readers to refine the character because representation should actually represent and not be A Writer Getting Woke Points.]

[thefirsthogokage]

Time to Hate-Watch Turner and Hooch, Episode 5

Because I am bored. And I hate myself. Of you aren't ok with me hate-watching and commenting, well then this is not the post you are looking for. Please move along.

Ah, yes, reminder of the love triangle they put in a kids copaganda show for the parents. Again. Because reminder: they did that last week.

Ew, bad shaky camera work.

Oh god she was listening to that music as a personal stake out sound track by choice? Like, why?

"You're all hopped up on juice boxes and I don't like it." I did like that line.

Laura is 5 years old.

I do like the theme song.

You know what also is weird about this supposed kids show? The episodes are nearly 50 minutes long. No kid is going to pay attention to that long of an episode.

So much natural lighting and making Hooch very yellow in some scenes and not others.

I'm probably too tired to watch this tonight.

Honestly that poor girl. Such a big crush on a very oblivious dipshit.

Branden is a fucking gift to this show. Again, I am just so glad he kept acting after Power Rangers SPD. Not many former PRs stay in the business, let alone get steady work. I'm really proud of him!

Rain. This show must be filmed in Vancouver. Actually, I vaguely remember hearing it was shot there. ... (Googles)... Haha

I mean, air cold enough mid-day to see their breath + rain had to = Vancouver. I mean I guess Portland too. But either way, California my ass.

Dreary natural lighting. Classic Vancouver. I can't believe anyone could actually think this would look like California.

Having Laura recognize a lot of people so that they could give her information to make her getting the information super easy is certainly a choice... by writers who don't want to work to hard. Then again, I think this is supposed to be a a family friendly show...kind of. Line, this isn't a straight up specific demographic this is targeted towards. They just have done a few things I absolutely would not put in a kids show this day and age. Like, it honestly so bizarre to watch.

I'm not fond of stories like this. Guy is getting married, all aspects of the case have a relation to weddings. It's just too much happenstance in this episode. And I'm tired, I should have very little ability to notice most of the is shit tonight.

Oh god, this would be so painful if I wasn't so sleepy. Like, what the fuck are you doing, Laura. Well, at least this is showing Lyndsy's versatility and expressiveness. My god this is such a different character then Alex on Nikita.

Tired sidenote, my watermelon is very good.

Laura gets up to leave after getting this woman to hang out with her. The woman has to remind her that she doesn't know where she lives. I liked that.

"Thank you for your never-ending aquatic references." Ok, this show does have some good lines.

(This is honestly like kind of watching Lucifer. I hat the show, but occasionally there are so lines that I really like. Though I did stop watching Lucifer because I just hated it too much. I was only watching it out of boredom.)

I am really glad that they have a Native guest star. It's nice to see more Native rep on shows the past couple years.

Messaging: Kids, you gotta stand up for other kids being bullied because you are just as bad as the bullies if you just stand there. I'm really ok with this messaging. Good job, so that I mostly don't like.

I'm sorry, I'm so tired.

"His name was Jean-Luc-" Me: stares at camera in 'Robert Duncan McNeill directed this episode and is the primary Executive Producer on this show.'

For those of you who don't know, RDM was Tom Paris in Star Trek Voyager and a character who's name I can't remember that he also played on Star Trek TNG.

Fun fact, Tom Paris was initially going to be the same character he played on TNG, but something about rights blah blah blah, made that a no-go.

Sorry, back to me hate-watching while tired.

Oh god there are 21 minutes left.

Why is Laura holding a guinea pig? And why does she have a karaoke machine?

Why is Branden's character having a romantic time with his fiance while on a case? Ugh, the unprofessionalism. Like, aren't they only a two hour drive from home? Why is this happening? Do they think of distance like the British? Or people who live in Saint Louis? (Seriously, in Saint Louis some people think 20 minutes is a long drive. Granted, ten minutes is a long drive for me, but the position I have to sit in to drive really aggravates my Interstitial Cystitis (meaning I have to pee so, so bad the whole time I am in the car)).

I want to take this moment to apologize. I am very sorry about the tangents and the personal health and whatnot. But at this point I'm too tired to go bad and delete things or care about what else I'm going to write, so I'm just going to keep going without my filter on. Of you make it through this whole thing with me, bless you you sweet, sweet, probably bored soul.

🎶Ooo Heaven is a place on earth 🎶

Oh god, so much tomato stuff. All over the bathroom. The very white bathroom. Good luck with that...Scott? Is that our main characters name? Scott? I don't care to look it up at th- yeah it's Scott, Laura just said it.

Uh, shouldn't that have been made of metal? Either way, shitty craftsmanship if the dog could break it that easily.

That can't be how you train a bomb sniffing dog.

No way someone who's been a police officer for a few years wouldn't know that there are drugs on literally every bill.

Again, family show why?

Neither of them thought there would be a back door?

This while thing is insane. Not in anyway that I find entertaining. But I'd probably be more pissed if I it was more conscious. You should probably be reading all of my angry sounding things as just very tired and a bit sedate because of the tiredness.

I'm sorry Branden's character was a soldier in combat and he's never been shot? Unless I'm misremembering. But seriously, he doesn't know what getting shot in the vest fells like.

Oh look, the girlfriend fires at vehicles driving towards her too. In the same episode..I hate when things are related like that. Not upper level writing.

Why was the Secret Service also looking for those people? What? That can't possibly be their preview.

(Before I finished the episode, I discovered that for the second time this week, I did not get to the litter box fast enough (as in since this morning) to prevent my cat from moving the liner enough to pee between it and the box. So, at 11pm I had to go clean that out.)

Like this guy wouldn't know that he was copping to extortion by saying that.

God, why are they making this case the dad was working on (stupid arching plot in a family tv show why? For the adults who can tell this show is bad already?) even more complicated? Like, is this going to get Heroes level stupidly complex? Because that shit killed that show. Ok, so it probably won't be that bad...just the kids show equivalent of that bad.

Oh good for you, girl who's name I never learned! Quit the job with the evil boss! Please let her be OH NATALIE! Once again, thank you Laura for saying the name of the character whose name I wasn't sure of. What was I saying... Of yeah, I hope Natalie comes back and wasn't just on one episode. More native characters on TV please!

Oh wait, am I just realizing the girls in the live triangle were both on Glee, or did I remember that in a previous post? I know they were both on Glee from the moment I saw them in this show, but, like, I somehow didn't realize it was a very mini Glee reunion when they were in the same scene?

Wait, where did Scott wash Hooch if it wasn't in his own place the first time? Where was that bathroom? Wait, unless this isn't the bathroom in him home? I was definitely too tired to watch this. That might be saving me on the anger level, but it's certainly making it a bit difficult to keep track of some stuff.

Oh bad edit/consistency moment with the foam on Scott's face. Always hating to me.

Episode over.

Closing Thoughts: This show is still driving me insane with it's not on point demographic aiming and just silliness that isn't really good-silly, more like bad-silly. Also, I'm tired.

[ladyhallen]

Intentionally Courting Your Oblivious Herbivore

Tsuna had been desensitized by Reborn, that’s why he’s not screaming when a corpse drops beside him.

He rubs his eyes.

If there’s a thing as too much handcuffs, Tsuna has just seen it.

He blinks at the criminal hogtied in front of his desk, at the freaking ribbon on the man’s head and wants to walk out and go back to bed. The urge is very strong, especially when he realizes that the only person who has a cambio forma of handcuffs (specifically, Alaude’s handcuffs), is Hibari.

It’s hard enough to deal with Hibari when he’s in a mood, it’s gotten progressively stranger after Tsuna blew up the Vecoli base. Especially because Hibari has been proactively going out and looking for fights. And the thing is, nobody has been bitten to death. They’re all alive and well (or as well as one can be after having Hibari fighting you), and all dumped in Tsuna’s office.

It’s like Hibari has just realized that the sure-fire way to kill Tsuna is to dump living bodies for him to deal with. Dead people are easy, living ones are such a problem.

The man, who he vaguely recognizes as the asshole badmouthing him in the last party, starts to cry, proving Tsuna’s point. Dead bodies don’t cry so much. Ugh. So much tears.

“Decimo, thank Primo you’re here! I-I was...” the man trails off in horror and Tsuna, with well-honed instincts of a Namimori Middle School alumni, turns around and glares at Hibari lurking behind him.

“Tsunayoshi,” Hibari says, not even giving any pretence of guilt or shame. “This one was ruining your reputation.”

Then, he rocked back on his heels and stared at Tsuna, as though waiting for something.

Tsuna gives in to the urge and covers his face. He takes a deep breath, lets it out, and then drops his hands. He smiles at Hibari. He doesn’t know what kind of smile, but it makes Hibari smirk.

“Thank you, Hibari-san,” he manages to say instead of screaming. What he really wants to scream was, “What the fuck are you thinking, and why are you doing it to me?”

Nana raised Tsuna with more tact than that, thankfully.

“Call me Kyouya,” Hibari says in reply, that air of anticipation still around him.

Tsuna’s brain hurts.

It’s just. Too tired to deal with this shit.

For the past week, Hibari had been dumping living bodies in his office, usually people he wanted anyway, but Hibari had the tendency to induce sheer horror in his victims that it made Tsuna a little guilty for extorting and coercing them from all their assets and money just for the promise of never meeting that Demon Cloud ever again.

Just a little though. Reborn’s lessons stuck at some point.

And then. There’s the gifts. The other, non-living gifts.

They were extravagant, crazy, and above all, extremely expensive and Japanese. Once, Tsuna even woke up from his bed with his sheets changed to four hundred thread count, Egyptian Cotton Sheets. It had been changed. With him sleeping on it.

The Namimori Special Sake that appeared in his cupboards cinched who the culprit was, even if the flash drives with extremely sensitive information on their enemies consistently appearing on his desk.

And now this.

If he didn’t know any better, he would think that the air of anticipation around Hibari was of a teenage girl waiting for approval or rejection from their crush. But no, of course not. Hibari would never.

Yes, Hyper Intuition tugged insistently.

With Nana inherited denial, Tsuna replied, NO, just as insistently.

No way was HIbari courting him.

Nu-uh. Not happening.

Right?

.

.

The next day, a tank is on the lawn.

Just. A real fucking tank.

There could be two culprits, but Ryohei nii-san is not in the habit of bringing home tanks but training equipment. He knows it could not be Mukuro or it would involve more tentacles.

Tsuna bangs his head on the window sill.

Hibari. WHY.

.

.

Hayato is heaven sent and gives him a sympathetic smile while holding a cup of Tsuna’s favourite tea.

Beside Tsuna is the source of his headache.

A lion cub, recently liberated from the zoo, presented to Tsuna with a sloppily tied bow around its neck.

Tsuna doesn’t even want to know how many laws Hibari broke, he just wants to know why.

It really was almost as if he was being courted.

YES, Hyper Intuition sobs at him.

Fine, Tsuna sighs back.

“Kyouya,” Tsuna finally says after finishing his tea, handing the tea cup back to Hayato. He’d closed his eyes, or else he’d have noticed how completely focused Hibari was on his lips.

“Yes, Tsunayoshi?” Hibari says, perking up disturbingly on hearing his name.

“The weapons department just finished making you new modified tonfas on my request,” which had been a few days ago, when the first living human appeared in his office. Sometimes, he hated his Hyper Intuition so much.

Hibari looks surprised. Which. Hmm. That is a nice look on him.

Tsuna smiles at him this time, a more sincere one. Tellingly, there’s a hint of red around his ears.

Told you so, Hyper Intuition says.

Tsuna ignores it and moves closer to daringly hold Hibari – no, Kyouya-san’s hand.

“Want to test it out together?” he asks.

Behind them, Hayato drops the teacup.

“Ah, that reminds me, Hayato, can you take care of Hibarin for me?” Tsuna asks, gesturing to the lion cub.

Kyouya-san tugs on his fingers insistently, impatient now. The red on his ears has yet to disappear. In fact, it seems to have intensified at the name of the lion cub.

“Hai, Tsuna-sama,” Hayato says on reflex like a reliable right-hand man.

Before the door closes, Tsuna faintly hears him say to himself, “What the fuck is going on?”

.

.

Sparring is a great way to lead to making out, if he does say so himself.

Ripped clothes, sweaty bodies on display, exertion...

Tsuna doesn’t last ten minutes, forgoing the use of his flames and is immediately slammed to the floor.

His hands are trapped under Kyouya’s knees and his shirt had disintegrated two minutes into the fight. It had been a great distraction while it lasted, but Kyouya recovered admirably after, only stumbling a little before trying out the chains again.

Tsuna is now wrapped up in chains.

If he didn’t know any better, he might have accused Kyouya of tying him up on purpose. His Hyper Intuition told him that he didn’t want to know.

“Tsunayoshi,” Kyouya says, face inches from his own.

“Kyouya,” Tsuna breathes out with a smile.

“You are so oblivious,” he states baldly before kissing his brains out.

.

.

Extras:

“Ne, Tsuna,” Takeshi says, sidling up to him. He has a big smile on his face that makes him trustworthy.

Tsuna does not trust that smile, but he is too distracted at the sight of Kyouya walking around in a suit. If there’s anyone who’s made for a suit, it’s Kyouya.

“Ne, Takeshi-kun,” Tsuna says back.

“When did you notice Hibari-san courting you?” he asks bluntly.

Tsuna hears somebody slapping their face in the background, but Tsuna’s blushing and too flustered to wonder who.

“Wh-why are you asking?” he stammers. Takeshi’s face is full of glee and Tsuna drops his face in his hands. “It was two weeks ago that he was courting me, I think.”

Then, the question registers properly in his head.

“What do you mean ‘notice’?” he demands.

Takeshi pouts but hands over money to – was that Spanner?

It did not take long to put two and two together.

“Were you betting on my love life? Wait, do you mean to tell me it’s been going on for longer than two weeks?”

Takeshi escapes, laughing even when he lost money.

“Tsuna-sama,” Hayato sighs, answering reliably like always. “He’s been trying to get your attention for three months.”

.

.

This may or may not be connected to “Accidentally Courting your Assassin.” Still haven’t decided yet...

[sweet-teas-writing]

A Woman Scorned (Chp 2)

A/N: Here is chapter 2!

Two: Not Good Enough

Work was my safe haven whenever I have a rough morning at home. I worked as one of the top marketing directors for Springwells Marketing Agency. My job was to work with my team to design the best advertising for our clients' products to help increase profit and recognition. I loved creating new ideas, using different patterns and techniques to make sure our products are known throughout the city of Miami and the whole state of Florida. Once I reached my floor, I was greeted by my best friends Yolanda Rodriguez and Blake Sanders. Yolanda was like my sister, we were practically joined at the hip since we were 8 years old. She's happily married to her husband Carlos and have two adorable twin girls who are my godchildren: Hayden and Harmony. They love their Tia Ava, and those two little girls are my life and I treat them like they were my own, considering I don't have any children. And Blake, my openly gay friend, was always great at cheering me up. He always knew how to make me laugh. He's charming, sassy, and loves to party. Blake's also such a helpless romantic, always wanting to see happy couples. Which is how he won the heart of his current partner Damian. Although a lot of people don't approve of their relationship, I'm always glad to see my best friend in love. I loved them both to death.

"Hey beautiful," Yolanda greeted me with a smile and a hug. Her wavy black hair in a neat bun and her brown eyes shimmered in glee upon seeing me. "How's your morning going, mami?"

I returned her hug and gave her a slight grin: "I'm good love," I said. "Just had a little spat with Jason before I left."

Blake rolled his eyes before he scoffed. His normally cheerful, sassy demeanor now held a sense of annoyance, his jade green eyes flaring in anger. "Honey, when are you gonna leave his trifling ass? I hate seeing you come into work like you're on the brink of tears."

I winced at his words.

"Blake that's harsh," Yolanda scolded.

"No," I said. "It's okay. I've been asking myself that same question. And my answer is still the same: I have no clue. It's obvious that were no good for each other, but yet neither of us have left yet. Well, Jason checked out a long time ago but… I just don't know why he treats me this way. He looks at me like I disgust him, but yet he acts like he can't live without me."

I could feel the tears form again before Blake hugged me. "Don't cry Ava," he soothed. "I didn't mean to be rude; you know I just want the best for you. You're sweet, passionate, and you deserve someone who can give you the same love you give him." He kissed the crown of my head. "I just really want to kick his ass for you," he mumbled under his breath.

I giggled then wiped my tears. "As much as I would enjoy to see that, I don't want you going to jail for that bastard."

"For you I would," Blake cooed.

Yolanda gave a sympathetic smile before she spoke again: "Oh Ava, I almost forgot to tell you. We have a new client. He specifically asked for your services. Come on, I placed his file in your office."

My spirits lifted and my excitement grew. I loved receiving new clients, and it's flattering when they ask for me specifically. I eagerly followed Yolanda to my office, with Blake in tow, to see a big brown folder sitting on my desk. I sat down in my chair and Yolanda and Blake stood on either side of me as I observed the contents of our new client.

"His name is Alastor Montez," Yolanda said. "He distributes his own line of cigars and wine from California to numerous major cities in the western U.S. He moved to Florida about a year ago, and so many people are looking to buy his products. The man has built himself a large, successful empire and is looking to expand his business to the East Coast."

"And he's also been named Miami's Hottest Bachelor," Blake said with a wink and a bite of his lip. "Mmm I can tell, that man is so damn fine it's sinful."

"Honestly I agree," Yolanda chimed, a faint blush painting her face. "How can a man like him still be single?"

"If he ever wants to hang out, I'll be glad to show him a good time if you know what I mean," Blake said in a sultry tone.

Yolanda raised an amused eyebrow: "You think Damian will approve of that?"

Blake did a half shrug: "He can always join us," he said jokingly. "Damian is known to like an audience."

I shook my head at my friends and blew out a puff of air. "You guys are too damn much." I observed the profile picture that he provided at the top of the folder. Thick dark hair, bright hazel eyes, nicely tanned olive skin, and a smile that could blind you if you stare too long. He was attractive to look at, I will give them that. As I was observing his picture, something in my brain clicked. He looked… familiar.

"Alastor Montez," I whispered to myself. "Why does that name ring a bell to me?"

"Something wrong Ava?" Yolanda asked.

And then it hit me.

"I know him," I said matter-of-factly.

"Know who?" she asked.

"Him. Alastor. I remember him." I said. "He was an old friend of mine from college. We even went out for like a year and a half."

Blake and Yolanda were stunned.

"You dated him?" Yolanda asked.

"And you let him go?" Blake added. "Girl, you crazy as hell."

"It's all coming back to me now," I said. "I remember him being so charming, his ambition was through the roof, and I remember everyone loving him. Professors and students, both male and female. The chivalry was real with that one. He was always so sweet to me, buying me flowers for my birthday, showing me off to his friends, and girls being were so jealous to see me with him. I think that following summer I broke it off with him, and I barely started to hear from him. He would check in from time to time but the everyday chats ceased. And then once senior year started, all contact stopped completely. I thought it was for the best, but he was definitely such a gentleman to me."

"Like I said," Blake snorted. "You let him go why?"

I thought about it again then shrugged. "Honestly, I have no idea. Maybe I thought he was too much out of my league. Or I couldn't take the taunting I would get from the other girls on campus. Who knows?"

"And he specifically wants you to work marketing his brand?" Yolanda stated curiously.

Blake beamed at me. "It's a sign! I think he wants you back after you broke up with him."

I shook my head at my friend's response. "Yeah right," I said rolling my eyes. "Stop talking nonsense. That was like 8 years ago. Why would he still hold onto that? Plus, I'm married now remember?"

"Ugh don't remind us," Blake deadpanned. "That fucker Jason has cheated on you with how many bitches now? Why shouldn't you have a little love affair of your own?"

"Blake!" Yolanda yelled. 

"What 'Landa?" Blake scoffed. "I'm sure Jason wouldn't give a fuck."

"I appreciate the concern Blake," I chimed in. "But me cheating on Jason would make me just as bad as him. I wouldn't dare stoop to his level."

Blake gave a heavy sigh. "You're such a good woman, Ava. I just wish that you can see that you deserve better than him."

"I know you mean well honey," I said with a sad smile. "But I'll be okay. I promise." 

Yolanda spoke up again to break the tension in the room: "Alastor will be in tomorrow morning at 9AM to meet the team and discuss the details of how he wants to sell his products. Think you are up for the challenge, mami?"

I gave an ambitious glare towards her and smiled: "You know I love a good challenge. I'm looking forward to seeing him again."

"And I'm sure he's looking forward to seeing you again," Blake said with a grin.

"Watch it Blake," I warned.

Blake held up his hands in defense. "Okay I quit."

I did another glance at Alastor's picture before closing the file and following Yolanda and Blake out of my office. I feel this is gonna be interesting….

*Later that evening*

Following a successful workday, I managed to make my current client's product increase profit by 15% after she signed with me, and having dinner with Blake and Yolanda I walked into an empty condo, with the only light coming in from the bedroom.

"Jason?" I called out. "Honey, I'm home."

Upon hearing no answer, I could feel my heart drop into my stomach. Every time he stays out this late, I know he's with another woman. He's probably with that Rosalyn bitch. She seems to be his favorite out of all his "friends." I caught him with her trashy perfume on his shirt and one of her earrings in his pocket the last time he went out. He always denies that he's not seeing her anymore, but I'm not stupid.

I deeply sighed as I placed my purse and work bag down. Maybe Jason won't do anything this time, but Lord knows I'm only kidding myself. I walked into our shared bedroom, took off my heels, and let down my hair. I went through my drawer and pulled out a light pink silk nightgown. Yolanda picked it out for me, saying it would look good on me. Maybe I can surprise Jason when he gets home, get a little sexy for him. I smiled at the thought before I went into the bathroom. I turned on the hot water of the walk-in shower before I undressed and stepped inside. The hot water felt good against my skin, letting it run through my hair as well. I grabbed my soap and lathered it on my washcloth, scrubbing my neck and shoulders, my arms and armpits, and making my way down to my breasts, stomach and legs. I let my fingers roam the soapy exterior of my body, gently brushing my neck, breasts and stomach, relaxing in the heat coming from the hot water. The soap slid off my body in a steady flow and I threw my head back in content, enjoying every moment of my shower. I sighed in a state of bliss, closed my eyes, and tried to imagine Jason here in the shower with me, massaging my shoulders and kissing behind my neck. Sadly, it was hard to keep the thought in my mind and I gave up after a few moments. 

Feeling the water getting cold, I then grabbed the shampoo and deeply scrubbed my hair and followed up with a heavy amount of conditioner in my hair to help detangle it. I turned off the water before grabbing my towel to dry off my body and wrap my hair. I put on a pair of black lace panties and put on the nightgown. After I towel dried my hair, I took a detangling comb and combed through the tangles and knots of my hair, starting from the ends and making my way up to the roots. The conditioner sitting in made it easier to comb through, and I could see my bouncy dark curls start to take form again. I rinsed out the excess conditioner with a spray bottle of water before adding my moisturizer and towel drying it one more time. I side parted my hair and fluffed my curls, satisfied of my appearance. The nightgown hugged my curves beautifully, then I went to the bed to apply lotion to my skin, my natural glow starting to return. Afterwards, I went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine and a glass before heading back to our bedroom. I laid across the bed, freshly clean and feeling sexy, and settled with a book I was currently reading as I waited patiently for my husband to come home to me.

Hours went by and Jason still hasn't come home yet. I already finished my novel and the entire bottle of wine before I checked the clock; it was almost 1:00 a.m. A lump formed in my throat and I felt my eyes prickle with tears. I have to be at work in the morning and I couldn't stay up for him any longer. I set my book aside, picked up my empty wine bottle and glass and headed to the kitchen. I was placing the wine bottle in the recycling bin and my glass in the sink when I heard the front door open. Jason stumbled in giggling to himself and his clothes and hair were a bit disheveled. He was walking towards our bedroom when he locked eyes with me standing in the kitchen. His smile quickly vanished upon seeing me.

"Ava," he said flatly. "I thought you went to bed by now."

"I wanted to wait until you got home," I responded.

Jason rolled his eyes in annoyance. "I told you that you didn't have to. Also, what the hell are you wearing?" he asked as he looked me up and down. 

"Do you like it?" I asked innocently. "I wore it for you. Yolanda said you might like it."

Jason laughed mockingly at me. "You gotta stop listening to Yolanda. Listen, I'm about to go take a shower. It's nice that you waited up for me but you can go to bed now."

I followed Jason back to the bedroom to find him sitting on the bed taking off his shoes and tossing them in the corner. I climbed behind him and massaged his shoulders before kissing his cheek.

"I missed you today," I cooed but he said nothing. "Did you have a good day at work today?" Again, nothing. I wrapped my arms around his neck and nuzzled my nose into his neck. Then, all of a sudden, my nose twitched up at the scent on his clothes. I took another inhale and I smelled the familiar trashy perfume. I also saw a small bruise on his neck, more than likely a hickey. My anger boiled and I gritted my teeth.

"You were with her tonight were you?" I said trying to keep my cool.

Jason looked over his shoulder. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Don't play stupid with me. I can smell her on your shirt. Only she wears this disgusting perfume. Plus explain the fucking hickey on your neck."

Jason stood up from to get some distance from me. "Look Ava I don't know what you're thinking but…"

I cut him off, my anger spilling over. "You said you weren't seeing her anymore! God Jason, you fucking promised me!"

"It was just a few drinks! Jesus Ava, you're so damn paranoid."

"I'm paranoid?! You coming home smelling like the bitch and a mark on your neck makes me paranoid?"

"Stop calling her that," Jason warned.

I scoffed. "So you care about what I call your little whore? Goddamn it Jason, I don't know why I put up with you! One minute you love me and the next minute you can't stand to even look at me. I'm your wife Jason! I'm supposed to be the number one woman in your life!"

Jason crossed his arms and locked eyes with me. "Well if you feel that way, then why don't you leave?"

"I…" I started to answer but then I went silent. My eyes downcasted to a spot on the bed.

"That's what I thought," Jason said smugly. "You always threaten to leave me Ava, but you never do. You always end up coming back to me, giving me another chance. It's pretty sad, if you ask me."

A tear fell down from my cheek and I clenched my jaw. "Well why are you still here, then?"

Jason shrugged. "Because you actually are a great wife as far as cooking my meals and cleaning the house. Rosalyn, I mean, she's great in bed but she's a shitty cook."

I glared angrily at him. "So I'm just a maid to you?"

"Ava, don't act like this is new to you. I haven't touched you in months. We haven't had sex in God knows how long. The spark is just gone from us."

"Well, what can I do to change that?" I asked him, almost begging. "What can I do to make you love me again?!"

Jason walked up to me and tilted my chin upward to get closer to my face. "It's a little too late for that, babe. You're just not good enough for me anymore."

He let go of my face and proceeded to go into the bathroom. He shut the door behind him, leaving me sitting in shock on the bed. The sting of his words pierced through my heart and I sobbed quietly to myself. I curled myself into my pillow, feeling foolish and heartbroken, and continued to cry until I fell asleep.

Tag List: @sirenascales @masked--empress @evilangel84 @wwevampireamongkpop @queen-legacy-productions @defenseofourdreams6277 @neversatisfiedgirlfics @superrezzy00 @writing-reigns and anyone else who wants to read it!

[audikatia]

3.21 Nationals

Rating: 5/5. If I did half points, it would be a 4.5 because it’s missing something that my other 5/5 episodes have had, but I’m rounding up because it was so close to being perfect.

Best Song: Pinball Wizard. Unique is a powerhouse, the vintage pinball machines rolling around were awesome and utilized really well, the dancing was great, and I just really love this song.

Memorable Quote: “The only thing vintage about me is my Tyrone Powers haircut and my pager.” -Jesse

General Notes:

I want Sue to be my life coach. She’d wipe my ass in shape

I appreciate Quinn rolling her eyes when Schue says it’s good for them to get angry

Even I will begrudgingly admit that Finn buying a Chicago glass for them to smash at their wedding because he’s proud of this moment in their relationship is a cute moment

Mike giving Sam A Look for putting his arm around Tina is great. I love Mike’s background moments. It doesn’t totally make up for the complete lack of respect from the writers but it’s still great

Ugh, I also have to admit that the high five with Schue and Beiste is cute, too.

Why do all the girls have moles on their cheeks? I think all of them do? Santana, Quinn, Brittany, and Rachel all have one that I can see. I assume the others do, too?

Half the club only gets one fucking number and that’s insane to me. Seriously, the Trebletones get one number, Rachel gets the second number, and then the whole Glee Club gets the last number. They seriously all worked so hard to get one group number? Fucking crazy.

Is going with such a heteronormative number as “Paradise by the Dashboard Light” such a good idea when everyone is raving about Unique, specifically on how she does not conform to binary standards?

Whoopi can whistle? Of course she can. What can’t she do?

I love that Mercedes and Kurt take care of Unique, bringing her flowers and supporting her. And I love how this was an opening for Unique to talk about transferring schools. Sometimes the decisions made on this show are bananas and don’t make any logical sense, but every now and then the writers come up with a logical explanation of how a character gets from A to B.

Unique doing a split! Damn girl!

Vocal Adrenaline should have won, sorry. Their numbers are better. Their dancing is better. Am I a bad fan for saying this?

Fuck Perez Hilton. I hate that man.

If Whoopi Goldberg ever gave me constructive criticism I’d probably die on the spot

I love when they win and we get to see cute moments between all the characters, like Sam kissing Puck’s Mohawk, Sue pointing at Will, Rory getting kisses from the random girls in the hall, Brittany and Santana kissing Artie. It’s just cute and fun to see everyone’s enthusiasm.

But, not to be a Debbie Downer or anything, they never would have thrown confetti at the Glee Club. They might have supported them and congratulated them, but they would not have had the poetic cinema of throwing confetti slushies at them

We got couple kisses from everyone except Klaine. Why?

The cafeteria ladies selling the vegetables on the black market is yet another great background joke I did not appreciate more the first time around.

Another joke I did not appreciate enough? The teacher about to retire and plans on finally kicking her pain killer addiction. She even mentions the episode of Intervention she stars in, I’m dying

Episode of intervention kicki her pain killer addiction

“Go softly into that sweet night.” Figgins is kind of a dud as a principal but he does get some great lines.

Real talk, there would not be that many people at teacher of the year. It would have been funnier (and more realistic) with less people. Seriously, there are more people there for teacher of the year than there are seniors in the graduating class. No wonder the budget is such shit at McKinley! Don’t have that many teachers! It should be like a 1:20 ratio with the students, god damn.

Imagine being the teacher who wins next year and doesn’t get a whole musical number

The series should have ended with this season

[ournewoverlords]

Booksmart slaps. It’s just a huge amount of fun to watch - the key word here for me is “good-natured”. This is a good-natured movie that teases and pokes fun at a lot of people - a lot of *kinds* of people, from the queer drama kids to the dopey jocks to the Gen Z overachieving feminist types who have pictures of Michelle Obama on their wall and can quote Susan B Anthony from memory - without ever making fun of anyone in a mean-spirited way, and highlighting that no one is ever “just” their tribe. The ending ties the story up neatly with a feel-good bow about how no one is really what they seem on the surface, especially not in high school, when everyone’s trying so hard to be invulnerable… which also means they can’t be *seen*. There’s a lot of great character work here that I think could’ve been fleshed out even more (the 1 hour 45 min runtime feels shockingly short in the day and age of Endgame) but still feels natural and sincere, and the huge array of secondary characters - real characters, not just insert-famous-cameos - gives this movie not just humor but so much life and buoyancy.

(Warning: light spoilers beneath cut)

What keeps it from reaching the top tier for me, though, is that it somehow still feels like something I’ve seen before, even though the window dressing is so different. It’s definitely rare to see female best-friendship displayed so frankly, genuinely, and *hilariously* on the big screen, and I can’t remember another movie where the nerdy valedictorian is a boss and knows it, not to mention one where one of them is a lesbian (my young baby lesbian Amy!! protect that cinnamon roll), but the story of two blood-sworn, childhood-, everything-friends reaching the last chapter of their adolescence together in fun and games and boozy celebration, all while the fear of how they’ll face the great unknown without the other is this silent undercurrent churning beneath… that feels familiar to me? That doesn’t keep me from loving this particular theme, because it IS a great one, I just mean it’s not as original as Ladybird, so it lends itself to comparison more easily. 

Superbad, for instance. I actually kinda hate how every review (including the one linked here, which is totally in line with my sentiments) keeps calling this “the female Superbad”. Yes, it’s a coming-of-age comedy about two friends at the end of the senior year trying to go out with a bang together, and yes, it’s a little raunchy, and yes, it really is all about the friendship between the two main characters at its core… but the whole texture, color, and point of Booksmart are completely different. 

By texture, I mean that even as the two girls are the “heroes” of this quest, it’s still interested in the characters outside them, such that you really get the sense that they are their own people, with their own lives and inner life. In the briefest of screentimes you grasp instantly why someone like Molly would be attracted to easygoing jock Nick (but then connects to the hopelessly-messy-but-sweet Jared), and why Amy likes the skatergirl with the big toothy grin. The other kids and love interests aren’t just vessels for Molly and Amy’s own awakenings. In fact, some of them have their own troubles, and they’re all really pretty good kids.

It’s interested in the way that the two mains are, in their own way, not the most perfect people. How the world’s really not out to get them; in fact, they’re the ones who have to learn to fit into it. I talk more about this below, but this was the part I liked the most, because it feels particularly true to life in a way that I don’t think I’ve seen in many other coming-of-age narratives, much less light-hearted comedies.

Speaking of light-hearted, the whole tone of the humor is waay different from Superbad’s too. It’s funny as hell, which is probably the most important thing at the end of the day — there were a few scenes that had me and my entire theater howling — but amazingly for a coming-of-age comedy, I remember very few of the jokes being gross-out or sexual, or even all that cringe. Booksmart mines a lot of physical humor just in their sheer facial expressions (if a picture is a thousand words, Beanie Feldstein’s face does the work of a thousand punchlines), but it’s mostly the little throw-away lines and hilarious sketches (the attempted robbery in the car! Amy’s overly-well-meaning parents! everything GiGi and Jared do) that string everything together and carry the day. That’s not to say that there aren’t serious moments that are given due weight too — Amy under the water, submerged in that song is just an absolutely beautiful shot. 

It reminds me a little of Bo Burnham’s Eighth Grade, which I think is a more interesting comparison than Superbad here. Booksmart tries to capture some of that raw realness that Eighth Grade had, underneath all the silliness and humor; it is, in many ways, about how hard it is to be vulnerable to someone else, even (especially) the people you love. It pulls at a lot of strands and among them are the idea that this is what high school is really like, that to be honest all these boys (and girls!) who hold your heart in their clumsy, sweaty fingers will be like leaves in the wind years from now, that standing on the entrance to adulthood isn’t a physical change, it’s not about booze, or losing your virginity, or getting accepted by your peers. Becoming an adult is inner work, alright, but it’s also not work you can do on your own. Because it’s about how you treat yourself, but it’s about how you treat other people too. 

But I think where Eighth Grade really succeeds is this it has this kind of specificity to it — it really, really is about this awkward girl, and her lonely existence, and about being a girl who is becoming a woman in a certain context. And that specificity gives it a kind of honesty that rings painfully true to me. Booksmart — probably because it is trying to avoid stereotypes and do something entirely new here, which is totally commendable — almost feels a little too universal. It feels like you could replace Molly and Amy here with dudes, and it wouldn’t be a huge change in dynamics outside the pussy hats and Malalia worship, because these two are defined more by their identities as “overachieving party-pooping best-friend NERDS” than by being girls per se. These are two whipsmart dorks who are best friends, and happen to be female, rather than a portrayal of female best friendship per se. And the other kids treat them that way too: no one gives a shit Molly’s chubby or Amy’s a lesbian, they give a shit that they’re exasperating know-it-alls.

Which is REALLY refreshing. I’m being unfair here — it’s *because* it’s so rare to see female friendships or just girls in general depicted this way on screen that I think it doesn’t quite “fit” my own intuitions about real life. But I’m a weird case of someone who really struggled in high school, and definitely didn’t have friends much less deep ones like theirs, and I bet other women would recognize themselves in these two and their relationship much more. The frank vagina talk and the fact that Molly and Amy are actually really self-assured and even pretty damn well-liked are just super freakin’ cool anyways. In particular I LOVE the way they’re still dorky, in a way I so rarely see female characters allowed to be because female characters written by dudes tend to be so poised and “above” the main male protagonist (probably because the screenwriters are thinking back to their own high-school crushes, who must’ve seemed so mature and unattainable to a nerdy teenage boy). 

It goes back to what I said about this being an affectionate, feel-good movie where everyone turns out to be pretty decent in the end. It doesn’t set out to be much more than that, and I’m not sure if I wanted it to be, but I think it’s that fact they didn’t go all out that keeps it from being a 10/10 for me. It’s just very sweet and knowing and funny and always making sure to laugh with these oddball kids, but that same gentleness keeps it from being something great; it’s like you need some claws to expose something “real”.

It’s a little strange to me, for example, that the movie dishes out a lot of high-school tropes — all the kids are playful representatives of some stereotype — but doesn’t seem to have any real bullies, and happily accepts the two not-very-outcasted outcasts at the party with open arms. And the girls each get their heart crushed, but only for like five minutes before they (tbqh) each get an upgrade. Every Gen Z tribe gets represented — from the failing stoner who actually has an offer from Google to the misunderstood school slut to poor Jared, my sweet beautiful mess of an unloved richboy — in this kind of Glee grab-bag kinda way, but without Glee’s sense that what ties us all together is this fucking shared suffering called high school; Booksmart’s high school is more like a utopia where everyone wears what they want and gets to be quirky and different and much cooler than you think in their own individualistic way. (They even have Jessica Williams as a teacher! UGH, so jelly.)

There’s something that’s actually really subversive about this, because 1) no one’s a villain and 2) to the extent that Molly and Amy are unpopular, it’s kinda brought on by themselves. *They* were the ones who chose never to hang out with the other kids, because studying was more important. *They* are the ones who have to learn something. Molly was the one who judged everyone by the school they got into, even as the others never gave a shit about it. Amy came out two years ago, but the reason she’s never had a kiss isn’t so much because she’s a lesbian, but because she’s too timid and unassertive as a person. Molly’s character arc is discovering that she’s too freaking judgey and she needs to stop assuming she knows everything from the cover, Amy’s is to realize herself as her own person outside of the (admittedly powerful) centrifugal force of her best friend. 

Those are GREAT ideas for arcs, it’s just that the execution of them didn’t completely land for me — maybe because the jokes were competing so much with the serious bits for screentime, it had to scramble at the end for the moment of character growth. So it didn’t feel fully “earned” to me, even as it worked on the thematic level of truly seeing people when you aren’t blinded by your own assumptions. 

Still, it’s a really satisfying movie with a different take on a common trope, and packed with killer lines and secondary characters like Jared that are just so great (he’s one that feels especially on-point to me because I recognize one of my old classmates in him — a great kid, just… swimming through life in a different lane). The cameos by the adult actors — Jessica Williams, Lisa Kudrow, Jason Sudeikis, Will Forte — were predictably fantastic. In fact all the acting and casting was SO GOOD (I found out later that the casting director was the one who did Freaks and Geeks!). I’m impressed by Olivia Wilde in her directorial debut here, it’s clear that she has an ear for comedic beats and some of the shots were wonderful — in a lot of comedies the camera is just kinda static and it’s all talking heads, but here the angles, the POV shots, the longer takes that move in and out of sound add so much dynamism. Excited for what she does next.

[elizabethrobertajones]

14x01 watching notes

RIP Kip, we hardly knew ye.

Well hey, returning friends and people who unwittingly clicked on this not knowing exactly what they're in for. Blowing off the dust and starting a new season of Dabb fuckery, which I spent way too long trying to think of a portmanteau for when I already have the episode downloaded

It's 5am, let's DO THIS.

-

So they start with Dean's Hi I Am A Cop On The Day Before I Retire speech re: hula girls and hawaiian t-shirts which is remarkably prescient of me to have been irrationally upset about that one detail after I binged most of season 13 last night to get me back in the mood. So now I have to elaborate on my one line textpost >.>

Because yes, that is the perfect note to start the season on: Dean thought the good times had rolled, allowed himself to hope, assembled himself a family with mom and step-pop (Bobby counts as a full father but AU Bobby is step-pop), brother, husband, kid... Said kid was promising A World Without Monsters aka Dabb's showrunning tagline for an endgame he teases them. And Lucifer was tucked safely away in an AU with the murderous Michael... And then in a series of events it all came crumbling down and with this amount of goodness in his grasp, he gave up what even when the real Michael was hounding him for it, he couldn't before.

Because in season 13 it is beyond obvious that Dean is tired, an Old Hunter, the best of his game but ready to bow out on that note, and yet for him it's not a matter of stepping back and letting someone else handle it because when Michael and Lucifer were involved, it was beyond personal. He and Sam only EXIST because Lucifer and realMichael wanted them to. And so there was no way this trouble would come to someone else's door, when it was the nasty angel on his shoulder and the devil on Sam's and we have Nougat as their collective responsibility who's the nexus of it all anyway.

-

Eeee the Road So Far text is glowy grace colour on a dark blue background. I'm JIZED for the title card.

-

Goodness, the Road So Far is a weird journey because we see Jack being all useful and magic and then callbacks to 13x01 and 2 where he was a messed up 2 day old and Dean just wanted to murder him.

I haven't outlined any expectations for this episode or even this recap but I suddenly realise that I should probably be wondering how much DeanCas we're gonna get in it, and this rage against Jack is subtextually motivated, for sure, but for me the first 6 episodes of Dean's grief arc were wonderful character stuff but removed from the main plot and therefore in my head I keep boxing them off like a bubble season, like 10x01-3 are, and I legit wasn't even expecting to SEE content from them in the recap, because brilliant as they are I sort of just forgot they were a part of this season despite watching them yesterday. The season for me became so much the Jack And Mary Search that this hiccup at the start didn't meet the requirements to be in season 13 :P

They're just That Time Dean Was Really Sad About Cas Then He Came Back And They Were Cowboys

-

Oh good there was "everybody we've lost" and then a recap of Cas dying and then - oh, we're recapping plot again? Er... everybody? Dean? Who else? DEAN?

this was the thinly veiled subtext of that line anyway since Dean waved off Mary and made it all about Cas anyways but. Yikes, editing team.

-

Jesus I watched season 13 yesterday and I forgot about Asmodeus. You know what, this is pre-coffee AND the 2 types of anti-brain fog medication I gobble in the morning.

But he's that much of a useless lump

Also too much Lucifer nipple on screen pre-coffee. Ick.

-

Nice recapping of Not The Levitating Fight.

-

NOW

Stock photo Nyoom of the season!! Hi Baby! You aren't in this episode because Eugenie said the car wasn't being used this season

-

Sam's got his Vengeance Eyes on but he's all scruffy and grown up so I trust him 10000% to get the job done.

-

OW. FUCK. OW. OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. GOOD USE OF INTERSTITIAL MUSIC

Why were you even listening to Dean's tapes if they fuck you up that badly? IS THIS YOUR VENGEANCE PLAYLIST? I'VE BEEN WAITING 10 YEARS

Actually, I haven't, I binged 4-5-6 as one unit after thinking the show was cancelled during the writers' strike but the point is that Sam and his ipod in 4x01 is immediately in my head because he was listening to his own music and being a hipster douche, but now he is not on demon blood he has not installed an ipod dock because he's GETTING DEAN BACK, DAMMIT but at the same time he's also realising that this means a heavy toll that the only driving music in the car is Dean's stuff...

-

Oh no, this must be the guy from the SDCC clip we hadn't seen because Osric Chau is banned forever for illegally uploading them all for us in the past, and all I know is that Deanchael is going to Fuck Him Up and I feel very bad for him

*raises my mug to Osric* I'm sure you tried, dude. And thanks for the previous years.

-

Hi Deanchael. I noticed in a promo pic that his tie has that sacred geometry type pattern on it which is a detail I made a mental note to type out literally anywhere in the like month between there and here and did not so here it is at a hopefully appropriate place.

Based on every other scene setting detail I suspect that this faithful man is actually still within the USA because this is literally the cabin set they re-use for everything. The spoilers made it sound like Deanchael was globe trotting to raise his army but now I see what's around us... Yeah no he's as focused on the US as every other big bad before.

-

Anyway they really specifically chose this prayer to Allah because of how pointed it was about being only for Allah and how he was the best, so I'm assuming Deanchael is here to be like yo God's gone and I'm your last chance of faith

-

Like just ruin his day and he got up at like 4am or whatever the first prayer is to do it and all

-

I hope, like, no offence to any Muslim viewers or anything >.> They sure play fast and loose with a lot of this stuff because Christian cultures are full of bitter non-believers raised in the culture and looking to kick up at the big guy in the sky, which is not an impression I get that Islam is as used to cultural flippancy, regardless of personal beliefs of residents of predominately Muslim countries and cultures. I'm not 100% sure though, because the closest link I've got is my raised-Christian Iranian friend who applies Christian eye-rolling to the issues with being in Iran and heathen so I still get that perspective of middle fingers up at Organised Religion from our discussions about it all... anyway big diversion, still waiting for coffee to kick in :P I just swallowed the last of it so I can only get more jittery from here on out!

-

It's so fuckin weird to see Dean's face confidently reciting verse in Arabic

I mean you don't need the hat, sir. I get it. It's not you in there.

-

Well so far anyway he's playing on the fact that the guy does pray to god and his angels.

-

Lol @ this man guessing his way through God AND Gabe to Deanchael's annoyance that he's the 3rd guess and he has to clarify that he's the better one.

Man, Gabriel worked on his reputation. I wouldn't have been able to tell you who Michael was because there wasn't even a kid in my class with that name when I was age 4 busy portraying Gabriel in a nativity play with full impish glee that the real deal would have been proud of.

-

Uhoh things aren't looking good for Jamil D: Asking for peace and love is good, you funky little hippy.

Is Deanchael implying that the Syria insurgency is the route to peace? I honestly don't know enough about the American foreign policy politics to know what sort of stance this is though from a liberal leaning show (I mean come on Bobo is a card-carrying socialist, I've seen it on Twitter :P), though to an outside viewer well aware of how fucked up it all is should this have been said on a British program, this is a vast over-simplification.

But we know Michael's main traits are Likes War and then also Warmonger and of course, spoilin' for a fight. So this may be a personal judgement and as much as they're bringing politics into their show I'm just backing right on out and going with this :P That he thinks it is more honourable to stay and fight and that Jamil is a hypocrite for not sticking around to work for peace actively.

-

Oh Jamil hooked up with a woman called Darleen. He is FOR SURE in America.

-

It's so funny to me that Deanchael can fly anywhere and they could have set this anywhere but it still ends up being a wooden cabin in the US. This has to turn out to be a lead to follow with a news report about the poor guy or else this is just hysterical that they couldn't be arsed to mock up even a hint of another country :P

-

He knew all this about Jamil beforehand so I have to assume he's really just here to drag him.

-

Man, that throw was GOOD. I'm assuming they either spent all summer playing with wires and stunts or else they've gone back to the drawing board on all this flinging people around business.

-

"A better world" oh we are so on for this World Without Monsters malarky still. This lines up with the clip from Dean they opened on so well - the dark irony of he and Michael working on the same project but from different angles. Dean wants to sort out monsters and bad things so he can go on a beach, aka his version of paradise, and Mikey wants to smush all the sinners, and clean up the planet, which is HIS version of paradise.

-

HECKIN GOOD TITLE CARD

now photoshop those wings on everyone

-

I LIKE SCRUFFY BULLET MAKER FROM THE AU.

He's like so happy to be in a world where you just casually have resources.

Meanwhile poor Maggie has become the de facto nurse and hates it.

Ugh the Bunker is a place where people just show up who yell "Soup's on!"

In my redshirt betting pool, Soups On is the first guy who dies.

-

Promo sceeeeene

I'm so happy Sam and Mary are doing this together. Last season Sam was so upset that Dean got to have a relationship with her, and he had missed out, but without Dean around - no offence to him - Sam and Mary may be focused on FINDING him but this is the work they also need to do for their relationship to start to ground it in something real. It's taken this long with all the separations, but remember that Mary also worked through some of her issues about Sam only last season in the AU with 6 month old Jack. And if she needed that sort of reminder and relationship to warm her up for Sam, her suddenly-grown 6 month old, then there were still a LOT of underlying issues that dated back to the start for her to overcome. Hopefully this puts them on a level playing field, though there's a new conflict brewing for them, with Mary's determined optimism vs Sam's pessimism, born of that depression from last season that never really got treated or resolved, they just managed to power past its current main triggers. Of course now it all just shifts in a Deanward direction.

-

I love how Ketch has been punted to London, at Buckleming discretion to drag him back. This wasn't even Bobo punting him out the door, and he and Buckleming have a violent back and forth over favourite characters, started in 9x06 with Bobo's very first episode when he banished Professor Morrison forever.

-

MARY TRIES MOMMING SAM TO GO TO BED

THEN SCRUFFY GUN GUY IS LIKE "CHIEF"

Chieeeeeeef.

Sam runs the shooow here and I love it. He's their badass MoL hunter leader, a scruffy saviour from another world.

Given Sam is wearing the same shirt and jacket in the promo pics I'm guessing he does not sleep, though I hope he gets to eat the soup.

-

"Maggie can you hack the traffic cams?" "um. no."

I love and support Maggie. She is a normal person who happened to live in apocalypse world and she just wants to flirt with the guy from the Gas n Go who probably hasn't talked to her since that got blown up and Jack attacked him over her... I mean, this is better than the AU world but maybe she just wants to be normal? Did anyone ask Maggie what she wanted??

-

SAM. You can eat your soup and run things at the same time! Get back here and eat that soup!

-

"yes sir"

Goodness, this is wonderful. Sam's doing what he was born to do, and then not because that was leading a friggin demon army, but then yes because he's got inherent leadership traits that he defers to Dean all the time because, well, he's there, and he's big bro.

Look, sometimes you need big bro to murder Satan's ass for you forever, but you also should be calling the shots. There's a balance here, where Dean can be the older brother, but Sam can be the boss. Work/life balance. Dean's got your back but you command an army of hunters, like we've all been salivating over since like season 8 when they first said the MoL ran the Bunker as the hub of operations dictating stuff to trusted hunters and the like.

Of course, if Sam is the Bobby here, then who is the AUBobby? I hope we see what's up with that soon, I've been wanting them to bristle those beards in an alpha way at each other for months, because AUBobby was their leader before Sam because Sir Chief.

-

"Sam."

"i'm good"

*mothering intensifies*

"i'm GOOD"

*mothering intensifies*

"How's Jack"

You aren't used to being mothered and it's murdering me completely to my soul. Dean's got SO MUCH MOTHERING all through the show compared to you. He even sees Jody as a mom friend while you crush on her like crazy so you haven't even got that!!!!

Because Chief Sam is the boss of this lot but at the SAME TIME he's getting all these soft tender mom moments he's never got to have before. It's a wonderful balance of nuances to his current life. He's overworked but surrounded by a supportive care team that respects him, gives him soup, and holds his hand, literally in Mary's case. And yet he's the scruffy macho competent boss who knows how to call all these shots, deputise, set up missions, but still knows more than them, how to do traffic cams, I'm sure years of lore over most of these hunters who only learned to deal with what got thrown at them in the apocalypse by trial and error because when do they get lore books? Mary and Bobby and other pre-apocalypse hunters would be few and far between to offer competent training to a populace suddenly all turned hunter.

-

Oh, AUBobby is beating up Jack. Perfect.

-

AAAH DIRECTED BY TJW

WAS NOT ADEQUATELY HOLDING ONTO SEAT

WARN A GIRL

-

I love finally seeing the training room but I'm deeply conscious that this is where Put Up Your Dukes starts and I can't get that fan fic out my mind so I'm just like, Jack, don't lie on the floor, your dads have banged there.

-

I'm so happy that AUBobby is nurturing a grandson, because this is the difference between him and Bobby - that our Bobby had that with Sam n Dean, but AUBobby never did. Though he DID have Mary Campbell to crush on, I doubt it would have softened him and rounded out the harsh places in his soul the same way raising Sam and Dean did, because he had an unrequited love and she hadn't gotten over John, while this recently widowed Mary Winchester actually has made better progress just because of the circumstances of the loss. Anyways Jack has no preexisting history with Bobby so there's nothing weird about him and AUBobby stepping into a nurturing relationship, that Sam n Dean would find uncomfortable in a way, given their relationship with Bobby. And Jack gets yet another strong figure to teach and guide him.

AUBobby looks slim and stands tall compared to Bobby, which I'm largely putting down to posture, and not being drowned in layers. I like this difference - Bobby almost never voluntarily dressed in 1 layer, but AUBobby has a more military slant, and this training sergeant routine with Jack is a good fit to show a difference in his character, that isn't surly old Bobby behind his desk, that he's involved in teaching Jack to fight, rather than helping hunters with lore and swigging whiskey.

I'd assume given the lack of availability in his AU, he's considerably less alcohol dependant, so this is a very different character thing. If Bobby were doing this training, and nothing else was different, he'd be taking a breather to pour them both a whiskey as he imparts wisdom.

-

Demon in nice shoes and dark sunglasses at night to indicate that yes I am a demon I have black eyes :P I assume this is a demon anyway not just because of this detail but pre-season spoilers

-

Ah hearing Cas's name is enough to make my heart pick up. MY GUY!

But then, "Castiel, darling"

Stop trying to make Good Omens happen, it's not going to happen. You can't just "darling" up to an angel and expect that good good romance. Crowley took years to wear Cas down and Cas never actually LIKED him, down to their last real interaction where Cas was just "WTF???? LEAVE ME TO ROT AND DIE" when Crowley saved him in 12x12

-

God I miss that

-

"Oh god."

Same, buddy.

You do, however, realise this is your first words of the season gifset line, though?

Someone ought to write to Dabb and inform him that people make first and last word gifsets and to be more careful.

Especially if in the last episode at the end of the season, Cas's last word is "Dean"

-

Anyway Cas has said 1 line and I can tell he's on top form. Unlike 10x01 he's in a hipster hogroast joint.

-

This demon, with dark black sunglasses inside at night (douchebag) just ordered a coffee, black. WE GET IT, ENOBY DEMENTIA DARKNESS RAVEN WAY, YOU ARE GOFFIC AND IT'S AS BLACK AS YOUR SOUL

-

LOL Cas is sitting under the JACK'S sign.

Demon douche sits under Schultz, which is the death beer. And lemme tell you, TJW is well-versed in this. So well-versed in it he's sat Cas in front of a classic El Sol flyer with the subtle touch required to tell Dean that Cas is his dream girl. He knows his shit.

-

This seriously seems to be implying that the rise of hipster food joints is an effort from Hell to spread chaos on earth

-

Cas sitting with his back to the fire is such an interesting visual, but this is just a note to self for later to guess what it all means

-

THIS FUCKIN DEMON TOOK  HIS BLACK SUNGLASSES OFF TO SHOW OFF HIS BLACK EYES

Dabb is so good at incidental characters, and making me hate this guy for nuanced nonsensical reasons is amazing. This is... art...

-

This is a callback to 5x08 and Dean ranting about hating procedural cop shows then him and sam taking their sunglasses on and off at night every time they made  a pun and I'm 100% convinced since 12x01 and Cas busting through that Mystery Spot sign that Gabriel has been subtly influencing events

-

Okay so we know exactly what is written on demon bathroom walls. I'm taking that as a sideways confirmation that Cain knew full well that Dean had his Colette because he'd seen crude doodles of them doing it

Anyway douchedemon just outright told Cas that all the demons assume he and Dean in particular are banging. Not that Cas bangs Winchesters, as some have implied, without knowing all the details. They've narrowed this info down.

I assume this is also in the Winchester Dossier that Barthamus studied from before meeting them. I love that demons probably do have a filing cabinet somewhere of all the notable assholes they run into in their work, and the Winchesters take up a whole cabinent, but the refresher file summarising them in a paragraph if you don't have time is like, Sam: Lazy boyking, will stab you. Dean: fucking Castiel, will stab you.

-

Cas doesn't even move an eyebrow. Incredible.

-

Cas rarely gets hit with these compared to Dean in the history of the show, and Dean is full of bluster or anger or confusion or alarmed eyebrows. Cas is like... no. fuck you. i'm party!Cas, I have my shit in order.

Though this is from a demon. It's an entirely different thing when Heaven is involved, as they also have their dossier on the winchesters.

Sam: abomination. will banish you. Dean: fucking Castiel. Will stab you.

-

*loud coffee slurp* "what's in it for moi?

Cas, stab him. Stab him now. This is not worth the information. You can find another guy.

-

I'm starting to think Cas with his back to the flames is his unwitting danger from this hellish hogroast place.

-

They use Shultz beer containers to hold the sauces and menus on the table. DEEEEATH

-

Cas speaking slower and threatening to burn him to ash "right here and right now"

this is a gifset that will get a lot of notes from thirsty Cas fans

-

Whaaaaaaaa the entire joint turned out to be owned by and filled with demons who would ever have guessed based on one open fire and that metal hogs head from the promo pics :P

-

Stop hurting him!!!! Misha can't stage fight! This is really unfair!!

I wonder how the poor new awesome fight coordinator took to Misha

"let's just... um..." "hide him behind all these demons?" TJW suggests The fight guy nods sadly.

-

Aww Sister Jo got back to work. Good for her.

-

Sister Jo has no fear and can stroll down a shady alley counting her money

*t-shirt meme* One fear: *flappy wing noises*

"Hey Jo."

-

GHOLY SHIT TRUE FORMS TYHUEOJDSHGFSH DS TRUE FORMS WE SEE WHAT ANGELS SEEE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD SCIENCE HAS CAUGH T UP TO THE DIVINE, SPN CAN FINALL Y SHOW US WHAT ANGELS SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

-

Holy shit I want the gif of this as my blog header. That's shitting amazing.

-

Burning HALO

ALL HIS CHI POINTS LIT UP EVEN WHEN IT MAKES IT LOOK SILLY TO HAVE HIS CALVES GLOWING

-

I wonder if this is what Danneel sees when she looks at Jensen all the time

-

"Why would he say yes to you?"

"Love"

I'm dying and I am dead. I gather that Dean is 100% absent from this episode, but that one comment puts him front and centre and I am in paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain. Everything happening around Michael and because of Michael is because Dean loves his peeps. From Sam staying up hacking traffic cams on vampires to Cas getting his ass handed to him by demons.

-

I bet Cas looks like that single glowstick he had on in the cave when angels look at him.

-

Party!Cas

-

I ruined the fun

-

Jensen gently touches Danneel's face and that's just rude because that's all his tenderness for his wife being turned into a scary villain move between Deanchael and Jo. Don't do this to them!!!

-

Oooof Deanchael pulls from Dean's memory of Anael about what she was like, describing her in the most Cas-like terms, then cuts through her hilarious bull about wanting handbags (this is so meta about sticking middle fingers in the faces of people who think she's a well-paid beard) and then starts telling her she wants love and a family.

Deanchael has used the word "love" twice in a scene and it's horrifying to see the word come out of his face, when Dean is so guarded. Now Deanchael is just looking through Sister Jo and analysing what she wants - and she's playing this game very well but this move of his might still beat her. Because ow. Telling her she wants belonging and family. When she's very much established as a Cas mirror by the reminder she ran away from Heaven and doesn't want to play by their rules.

"It's very, very human of you. And so disappointing." Did all those times Lucifer sucked her grace bring her close to feeling it? To the point of permanent damage? I only ask because I know another guy this might apply to.

-

I wonder how much Deanchael is projecting based on conjectures because he knows Cas through Dean's eyes.

-

"But if they're all these sad, lost, fallen things..." Ya, that's Cas too for suresies

-

SAM AND JACK SAM AND JACK

Jack sitting quietly in meditation, clearly unsettled. A parallel to 13x23 when Dean came rushing in to him having a nightmare, now Sam is having a crack at parenting the boy.

-

Jack lying about how things were fine. Nougat. Hon. You're human now. But not that good at being human. Sam knows your tells :P

-

Sam interrupted mid pep-talk by Mary with some nonsense.

Jack is always so ugh... accepting and kinda flippant. He knows parental figures can be disappointing and get dragged away mid peptalk by some business.

Which he's apparently not involved in. I guess after we see him going on hunts with them in 13x23, he's grounded until he goes through basic training so not only is he useless to help with his powers to find Dean, but he can't even do the easy hunter stuff because he's just a kid.

-

Aww my poor baby Nougat :( He's so angsty. He's a TEEN. Lookit him! All growed up!

-

Uuugh I guess this is Nick. "I didn't talk to him. I can barely look at him."

What I'm getting from this sequence mainly is the sound of Triss's rage at the Bunker layout.

-

*Mary pats Sam's shoulder supportively and walks off*

You're on your own, Chief.

-

Ugh I am not ready for this bull if it's Nick but I have to keep watching to be sure :P

-

Ew it is. EW. What does Mark P HAVE on you all.

At least TJW is shooting the heck out of this to show us how gross Sam finds this all.

Sam's shadow falling over Nick.

I really want to know how this bullshit happened. And yet. No, not really.

-

Oh gross AND they're making Mark P take off his shirt. The nipple I didn't want to see in the Road So Far was not warning enough.

Pre-season ugh speculation was that whatever Crowley did to Nick made him stronger and more permanent apparently even than Lucifer being stabbed out of him.

-

So yeah anyway I guess Jack is in part also sulking about this and I'm with him, because Sam being pulled away from their pep talk time to deal with Gross Man Associated With My Father But Not Actually Him Because Biologically I Am The Son Of A Non-Historical President...

-

Making Sam the one who has to care for Nick is utterly cruel. He has so many deputies. Maybe this is just his personal fear that Nick's still a bit Lucifery. Maybe he just sees this as a gross burden, a manifestation of the ongoing trauma from Lucifer, that even when he's dead he lingers.

-

Plus, it's giving us some reassurance that an angel can be ousted from a vessel without killing them, to throw some options into the Deanchael pot.

-

Still. Nick. Really.

-

I bet Jack is sulking because some little cosmic part of him regenerating deep down in his core, that one lil gold glowy chi point in his big toe, knows that Eugenie forgot his name at SDCC and called him "Nick" and this shit from your creator just weighs on you. Jack is an entity beyond Buckleming and yet born from them, and this is what they beget: forgetting their own child in favour of this old carcass.

-

bitter? moi? *sips coffee noisily*

-

Actually, that's not true but I need some tea because I'm sulky so I'm taking this ragebreak to go make some and then I will sip it noisily in Nick's direction. :P

-

Everything henceforth is under the jurisdiction of hot drink no.2

-

"I don't understand how Lucifer could die and I could live"

I hate you

Eurgh, I bet you anything Dabb pulled a Buckleming and just took the post-it note they gave him when he asked, er, HOW does this happen? and transliterated it into dialogue because 1: all the writers shade Buckleming all the time because I can literally see it ooze out of Perez and Yockey and Bobo's writing but this is the showrunner, guyses. 2: it's such a dumbass convoluted explanation that it only burns out the archangel but if you non-fatally stab it then the guy is fine.

Which begs the question of how the fuck is Gabriel because if we get anything good from this, that fucker is in one hell of an interesting vessel situation compared to Old Nick.

-

PS: I am not sure how culturally saturated this is so we are all clear that Old Nick is a historically used name for Satan and his name has been a joke since 5x01 thanks to Kripke, and now we have to actually deal with that.

-

And then Nick is actually sympathetic to how Sam feels looking at him. I guess Mark P really wants us to feel sympathetic to his new dude.

-

"And Michael... did he tell Lucifer anything about his plan?"

Listen, we NEED acknowledgement that for a month or so Lucifer and AUMichael roadtripped together to assemble from their AU the key of solomon, the fruit of the tree of life, and the blood of a most holy man.

There was a lengthy downtime while people settled in and Dean was allowed to think the Good Times were rolling, and all that time, the weirdest brother roadtrip show ever was going on in the AU, mad enough that I would actually find it hilarious to watch despite enduring Mark P as a result of it.

-

SAM DOES NOT DESERVE THIS

He's not allowed to rest, ever.

-

I bet this is douchdemon phoning him from Cas's phone.

-

"Hello Sam!" says a perky voice down the phone. It's INCREDIBLE how unlikeable this demon is making himself. He's actually my favourite character now.

-

Oh no, Nougat is wearing a different grey shirt. He's really depressed. Someone help him.

-

"He just told you he was a demon?" "he seemed proud of it too"

Sam hates him as well. I can't wait for Sam to come scowl at him.

-

"What do we do?" Maggie asks, completely wide-eyed. Oh honey. Poor, innocent, sheltered Maggie. What were you doing all apocalypse until we caught up with you? You aren't hardened, you're adorable.

-

AUBobby and Rufus (his gun)

-

"I'm coming too!" YAY JACK. Your father is in trouble, he's on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days, but what a different world all the rest is

-

"I'm not as strong, but I can help," he says, looking tiny beside Sam, bruised up from AUBobby's training, a single layer to make him look even smaller...

(we do not talk enough about how all these jackets are a sort of alpha being shoulder plumping thing like when you make yourself look huge to scare off a mountain lion but that's 100% what this is)

IT MADE JACK SMILE yey he's allowed to feel useful! Pop is allowing him to go on a mission to rescue Dad who was looking for Papa when this all went down.

Grandpapa is not so pleased, because AUBobby has been measuring how useful Jack is and I feel like lil Nougat bab is going to do something mildly heroic for Cas or else get pasted for his ongoing character development for the season...

-

"He needs this, Bobby."

-

Dear LORD does he not quit? We don't even know his name? "Are you sure I can't get you anything... hot... or black?" FUck OFF

No wonder by the promo pic Cas looked so utterly done. This is exhaustingly annoying for him. Cas's personal hell is just irritating people. A line of Crowleys and Lucifers and this jerkwad chattering at him.

-

And yet Dean runs his mouth all the time and Cas is in luuuurve

-

Oh lordy are we really doing this coffee metaphor now? "Coffee has no effect on me" (but he once acquired the taste, and it was a core part of him being human and learning to human in the opening shot of 9x06 for him as his metaphor for how he was learning)

"me either *sluuuurp* not any more. But it's like saltwater taffy or infants. I just like the taste."

-

"I'm just being a good host like mother would have wanted"

Cas stops mid eyeroll to eyeroll HARDER at meeting ANOTHER demon with mommy issues. Like, please. Don't. I like Rowena now but can we NOT.

-

Party!Cas of Dabb era is my favourite iteration of Cas by a country mile.

-

"Why are you using me as bait?" "it's kind of what you're for"

Oh Cas. Now he's just the damsel in distress, which I guess is a step up from being an attack dog, but still isn't that great for the ego stroking about his role and use within the Winchester family, an ongoing source of stress for him, this reminds us.

-

Cas's faith in Sam is wonderful. like, as soon as douchmon says he needs something from Sam, Cas just SMIRKS like, OH BUDDY. BUDDDYYY. No, I'm not gonna say it. I'm just - "you think he'd make a deal with you?" I'm ... I don't laugh as a rule but inside? Hilarious.

-

"Somebody asked me what it was that I wanted" You know, I think Deanchael is INCITING people. he's not killing any of them, just using the revelation of his appearance to motivate them - moving Sister Jo to do what she wants, which is to re-organise Heaven with the ideas she had as a button pushing functionary... visiting world leaders and holy men, and this douche...

To what end, though? Chaos? This is a roundabout way to make a better world.

-

"Destroying, Drinking, Defiling, you know, the 3 Ds" they absolutely have posters up in Hell with this on for the newbies to learn.

-

We've seen Heaven's staffroom, I DEMAND to see the break room in Hell, with all its lurid Destiel smut doodled on the walls and so on

-

Anyway it's a hell of a question, pun intended, because demons have no real purpose, even the named baddies have largely been slaves to someone else's will (Lucifer or Crowley) and Crowley could not have answered that question from the start of season 6 through to the moment he chose to sacrifice himself... I don't think any of TFW 2.0 or Bunker Squad could answer it fully. Cas can't, and that's the question that's been bugging him since 9x06 -

EPHRAIM Shh-shh-shhh. It'll be over soon. I'll take the pain away.

CASTIEL I want to live.

EPHRAIM But as what, Castiel? As an angel? or a man?

and it's what his entire crisis in season 10 was over... Who ARE you Castiel? What do you WANT?

-

Dean wants a Beach Vacation Ending. He figured it out and as narrative punishment, he's Deanchael. No one else has sorted it out, though, but Sam got close - he had his pizza dream and was immediately punished with being eaten by vampires and resurrected by Lucifer and all that drama... Sam's work isn't done. Though his growth has taken a huge leap, now he has to figure out what he wants in this NEW setting, and we're only just MEETING Chief Sam in this iteration, so he's got a lot of work to do.

-

"I gave it a good think and I worked out exactly what I wanted. Everything."

Deanchael definitely is planning for this, so watch out buddy.

-

SAM DRIVING, MOM IN SHOTGUN

RED ALERT

-

Uhoh Sam's snapped because of the optimism Mary exudes. Yep, he really was nearly at the last straw in their earlier convo when he scoffed at her attempts to cheer him up.

Look, she's trying to mom you with no experience except adopting Jack. Work with her.

-

Sam is spiralling with the depression, this time all the bad things that could have happened to Dean and how they're never going to find him, throwing these horrible scenarios at Mary to stop her trying to comfort him.

-

"I know. I know he's out there, scared and alone." She sees lil 4 year old Dean. Because, I mean, that is the soul Dean bears to her when they have moments sometimes. And her optimism is a wall against thinking of her toddler in this scenario.

"I know. I know he might not come back. Never think I don't know that. But I can't - I have to think about the good, Sam. Because if I don't, I will drown in the bad." I wonder who that directly relates to who is currently driving this car.

I really hope this is a bit of vindication for Mary - or redemption to the eyes of the people who don't like her - that she does care, and she's spelling out her approach to all this. In the start of season 12 when she was trying to keep afloat she used a lot of optimism and furious paddling on the surface, because she has been doing that her whole life. When she was being raised a hunter, when she was a housewife with no clue what she was doing, a mom but he marriage beginning to fall apart... And then thrust into the present day, and it's 360 degrees of combat and loss and sadness and a ill-advised hook up with Ketch... Furious doggy paddling on the surface.

"For Dean's sake, I can't do that. We can't do that." And she shows that she is prioritising Dean, that she's driven and motivated to keep going FOR him.

Come on, give her a chance.

-

Nyooom.

-

Meanwhile in the Jack and Bobby truck, Jack is the one angsting and Bobby is the one driving.

Jack is one years old and not legally old enough to drive.

-

Bobby peptalks him with the reminder that when Jack had his grace he did hero things for these people, which is why he can ride shotgun, and even if he feels useless now, they'll have his back, that he has earned this squad even if he can't be as awesome as he used to.

-

Maggie is like, I'm getting a reaction shot... Am I going to develop feelings for Jack? That would be super weird, he's one years old. I hope no one is implying this even though I'm in a bunch of scenes getting character focus.

-

Eeeeeeee Sam trusts Mary with the demon killing knife. I am sure they don't call it Ruby's knife to her and he has never, ever told her about that time that thing happened with Ruby.

-

This fucker had his back turned for Sam to enter just so he could turn around dramatically. God he's repellent.

-

An extra was hired to pat Sam down. What a job.

-

"The shoulders. The hair! You are my Beyonce!" I mean, same. Except. Cas is Agent Beyonce so this fuckhead has totally misread this situation.

This gives Sam a moment to look over at Cas and Cas silently says, yes I know he's a total fuckhead, I've been dealing with this all day. I'm so sorry bro, can you just stab him so we can go home and follow a different lead. I don't even care what this one knows, I can't handle him another minute.

-

"I'm more embarrassed than I am hurt" I understand this to my core, and I'm so sorry, Cas.

-

"Kipling. Kip for short."

"Cool. Kip. I'm here." Sam being exactly as "fuck you" as I wanted towards Kip.

Sam is now standing with his head in an El Sol sign. TJW what are you up to bud?

-

Oh no Jack and Maggie got caught skulking. Sam and Cas have the same "my boy!" reaction when they see Cas.

Maggie is here too, you monsters.

But Kip has missed Mary and AUBobby

-

"It's just late capitalism, you understand" Yeah, and fuck you Kip.

-

How is Kip so irritating that he can make tapping a stool somehow the most obnoxious thing a man could do? He's WONDERFULLY well-cast. I love this actor. He's chewing scenery and it's incredible.

-

"What do you want?" Ow, Sam being twisted into asking the same thing Deanchael asked Kip

-

"Ass-modeus Kentucky Fried" listen you are still the worst but that drew a sympathetic smile and I hate it and I hate you.

-

Oh, Sam just Sammed something from that side glance, random demon side-eye. Oooh. Oooooooh.

But yeah, Kip asking for the "Crowley Deal" as if it's a package that can be bought from the Winchesters, and not something that Crowley wormed his way into via much back and forth power plays and drama. The Winchester have always had a back and forth with Hell, and since Crowley there have been a lot of demons, like Bart, trying to figure out what exactly it WAS that they all had. But someone has to be in charge, and the Winchesters are the top dog destined hunters with their fingers  in all the world-saving pies, so clashes come naturally. Approaching them like this, first Bart, now this douchenozzle, is meta, presumptuous, overstepping what builds naturally... An attempt to leapfrog to the end where the equilibrium is established.

But Crowley had time to build a long game. These new pretenders are working in a world where the Winchesters' actions have devastated Heaven and Hell alike, and are, like Mary, just trying to keep afloat on the whole thing.

"We never gave Crowley that deal." Because yes, that's how it seemed to play out, and from outsider eyes that's how it may have looked... But each and every interaction came about naturally through the plot, there was no wrangling it. That's just how the Winchesters and Crowley ended up.

And that hole can't be filled by someone just leaping into the chair and asking for it.

Though it is nice if Motown Meats is the new seat of Hell on Earth instead of the outdated exterior asylum interior castle dungeon look Crowley set up.

-

"You're no Crowley. I know that. So do they." I think that was what Sam Sammed out of the demons, and also true, and ALSO is this the boyking accidentally exerting himself, knowing what's good for Hell? I always get a lil tingle in my thumbs when Sam gets too involved in knowing what's up with Hell.

-

Holy shit Kipling was a Mongolian warlord who rode with Genghis Khan in life. PLEASE survive this episode, I want to hate you all season. PLEAAAASE I BEG YOU.

-

Oh my god this insecure whinging asshole, chowing down on the scenery like there's no tomorrow. "I'D EAT YOUR HEART" *turns to weepy and quiet* "before I show you who I really am..."

This is Eddie Redmayne in Jupiter Ascending levels of scenery eating. He's gonna pick up a barstool and take a bite out of it now.

-

Sam is doing this all unarmed, which is something to remember, because this is the fucker who talked his way into killing the Alpha Vamp while MOSTLY unarmed for a majority of that chat.

-

Sam Fucking Winchester.

-

AUBOBBY AND RUFUS!!!!

Also mary.

-

But AUBobby gets a slow mo for Rufus shooting demons.

-

HOLY SHIT MARY'S SLOW MO

I am pregnant

-

MARY THROWING SAM THE KNIFE

-

TJW was like this fight is too fast, my guy. We need to slow it down.  You're so good at your job no one's gonna see what happened unless we go slow mo.

he and the fight guy high five

-

"Aw, balls."

Hey, Nougat tried. He's got a squishy hero centre.

Looks like he weighs nothing and now he's human he goes down in one punch. Owie.

-

"Here take this. You know how to use it?" "Uh! Stab them with the pointy end!?" "pretty much"

Maggie you precious girl why are you HERE. Why is Soups On or Gnarly Gun Guy not here?

-

Cas you fucking damsel in distress

-

Fight guy is like "uuuuh do I have to"

Misha is like "I'm good here, tbh"

-

SAM FUCKING WINCHESTER

(Aw, Kip's dead, he was fun)

-

"ENOUGH"

YES SIR

-

"There will be NO NEW KING OF HELL"

You are gonna get demon minions like fucking ducklings you ass

-

"Not ever. And if anyone wants the job, you can come through me" Sam is technically immortal so long as Rowena is alive and vice versa you know. Also, how long is he planning on defending Hell? Ever?

I'm stalling from how much I have to scream about how badass Sam was throwing down that declaration that he's now essentially the trial a pretender to the throne has to pass to take the job.

Because if I was a demon... FUCK NO would I want to tangle with this fucker.

-

Sam's file, updated: Current King Of Hell. Will Kill You. AVOID.

-

Sam is fucking terrifying. I love it. He scared demons out of their meatsuits. Sam walking into a room is now a reason to eject and abort mission. God. This guy.

-

Remember in season 1 when demons were scary? Oo er this isn't our sort of thing... halp.

Now Sam looks them in the eye and is like, fuck off. I'm scarier than any of you.

-

"That's what I thought"

Cas is literally giving you the reverse look of in 4x16 when you marched in and fried Alastair's brain.

-

SAM GOT A NEW SHIRT thank god.

I should amend: he did all this wearing blue plaid with orange stripes.

Sam Fucking Winchester.

The BMoL definitely didn't have the right birth certificate because that's his legal middle name.

-

Sam n Caaaaas my GUYS. I hope this is the 10x01 convo but, like, not. Flip flip flip those pancakes, Dabb my guy.

-

Cas, hon, you're still so beat up you have blood trails coming out of your nose. There's not really caring about your meatsuit because it heals eventually, but there's also washing your fucking face, because Sam's had time to change his shirt and get a beer so what were you doing?

-

Probably staring at a picture of Dean on his phone and sighing.

-

Anyway he's here to ask how Sam is, rather than care about himself. Symbolism.

"I've been better. And worse." Worse is 10x01.

Or 4x10's flashbacks. For sure those are the worstest.

Though, this time you are the king of hell and you're wearing a dark shirt and I don't think you have thought this through.

-

The most well-meaning accidental king of hell ever.

-

Sam and Cas share the "to find Dean I'd do anything" look. Be CAREFUL. Cas is literally choosing to wear hubris on his face because he feels bad about his fuck up with going to Kip.

-

Mary! Casual Mary chilling in the kitchen!!

Although, with everyone in the bunker, these rooms are taking on different meanings. The people are chasing out the heavy shadows and ghosts of all the oppressive silences Sam and Dean have filled these corners with.

-

Aw it's Mary and AUBobby. I was half-hoping we'd have her giving beer to Jack, but I guess we need to set up the forward momentum on their relationship for this season.

"Not bad today, old man." "you too, Sunshine."

You do realise that Mary is sitting in the exact same spot as where Dean was when he called Cas "Sunshine" You do know that right I mean you KNOW? This is TJW, he knows. He's a Destiel Shipper of the highest order.

-

Cas pops in on Jack, staring at his busted up face in a mirror, now filling more Winchester angst tropes to make up for lost time. "I'm fine," he says without being asked.  Because 10x01 or 10x02 was where Cas defined "fine" for Hannah and explained to her it's what humans say when things are really not fine but they can't admit it.

-

"You did well." "All I did was get punched. In the face."

I love snarky teen Jack.

"To be fair, we all got punched in the face," Cas says, still covered in hubris.

He has a POINT. He has full right to pull the "I should feel more useless than you" card on Jack.

-

Jack doing the "i'm useless" thing that Cas had to go through when he lost his grace, and Jack was allowed to stay in the Bunker. Is this how Cas would have felt had he not been kicked out?

-

Jack says Michael's out there and he still feels responsible to stop him. There's a very, very very very ver very weird Hamlet vibe from Jack, being forced into a position of emotional responsibility to kill his uncle, but Cas is his once dead now back and not a ghost father, and Jack couldn't kill Michael and so Dean got possessed... I mean, it's not a neat overlay, but Jack wants to kill an uncle, an AUncle, and I feel like in terms of uncle-killing narratives, AU Michael making off with Dean fits about as well to Hamlet's uncle marrying his mom as we're gonna get... I'd love to see how this shapes out because these family narratives since season 11 are becoming deeply shakespearean in the amount of nonsense going on. This sort of supernatural drama is a modern world way to have this kind of heightened emotion and the stakes you find in Shakespearean tragedies, and to force the sorts of reflection on the world and self... I really really dig it. Watching season 13 yesterday really hit me with this feeling all over and I'm delighted that Jack has this arc because I'm so amused/interested to see where this weirdo Hamlet parallel goes for him.

-

"I don't have anything." "Oh Jack" thanks Cas that's what I said out loud "you have me. You have all of us. You have your family." *SHOULDER GRASP*

No hug. Fuck off Cas, with your reassuring shoulder grasps. I know that's the language you've been taught but Dabb era is hug era and you suck.

-

I love that with all of Sam and Mary's doubt and Jack's lack of self worth, it's down to CAS. CASTIEL. CASTIEL WINCHESTER. CASTIEL FUCKING WINCHESTER. PARTY!CAS. to give the actual pep talk of the episode which has ANY conviction behind it. Cas has been fuelled with something MAGNIFICENT since the Empty, and he's turned it up to 11 for Jack here :')

-

Jack makes the smallest smile, then turns back to his mirror.

-

Sam opening the door to his bedroom, framed in darkness. 10x01 parallels again - this shot as well as the demon dean one were repeated a few times through the 3 episode arc, and the demon dean one became iconic but Sam did it too, to Dean's room. Now he goes into his own... empties his pockets... he still has the fucking engraved money clip from Tall Tales because Gabriel is not only not dead but telling this entire story for us... He has the phone, that's off, because Dean is not there, not communicating with him, blah blah. And he has the keys to the Impala. Because he's the chief.

Well, the King of Hell. Damn, it took 14 years to get him there. Azazel is fucking spinning in his grave.

-

Ooh, phonecall! Is it Deanchael? "What do you want?"

Nope, it's Sister Jo! :D She's been standing there ALL NIGHT weighing her options and working out what she wants.

SPIN THAT CHAOS, DEANCHAEL.

-

Deanchael approaches a vampire, and it's that purity of Purgatory, that just wanna eat that fuelled so much of the badass stuff in season 7 with the Leviathan, everything Dean's struggled with when it comes to the black and white world of killing monsters no problem that dates back to Gordon in 2x03, that draws Deanchael to them. Because this is Dean's safe space with Benny, a real relationship based on a bond forged in pure, kill or be killed, eat or be eaten purgatory. Deanchael has the same inner machinery as Dean, because Michael is the worst version of Dean, engineered to be Dean but without love. Dean as a monster. And so it all leads here... D:

-

Well this will be fun :D

[miasswier]

miasswier’s ultimate glee ranking: no 38

38: Wheels

Written by: Ryan Murphy Directed by: Paris Barclay

Overall Thoughts: How in the world did I forget how incredible this episode is?!?!?!! I remember all the awesome things that happen in this episode, but somehow forgot that they all happen in this episode – for some reason I thought Defying Gravity was in “Ballad”? I don’t even know. Anyway, this episode is absolutely fantastic, but I’m going to head straight into what I like about it because I don’t want to repeat myself too much!

What I Like:

This is the first episode of Glee that actually feels like we’re watching an ensemble show. Artie and Kurt get their own subplot, and Tina gets a little bit of the spotlight too. Also, Puck and Quinn get to interact for a solid two or three minutes throughout this episode without either Finn or Rachel getting involved. And Will isn’t as central to the plot! It’s honestly fantastic

The introduction of Becky Jackson, who would become one o f the most hilarious characters in all of Glee. It’s really interesting seeing her here, and how different she is from how she ends up. You can definitely see Sue’s influence on her, and while in some areas it’s a bad thing, overall I think it was really good for her. She ends the series with so much confidence that it’s absolutely blinding, and I think the way Sue treats her really helps her.

Sue calling Will out for being ableist in the guise of being open-minded. Becky very clearly has no problems with Sue telling her she needs to improve, and she also responds to her in a way that no other Cheerio ever does – she straight up tells Sue that she’s trying, but it’s difficult. No other Cheerio ever says anything like that to Sue. Even though we watch Becky grow in her confidence and independence, you can already see the seeds of that here. Seriously, I just absolutely adore Becky Jackson and her relationship with Sue, and I’m totally willing to fight people who don’t.

The scene with Puck and Quinn “baking”. This is honestly the scene that made me fall in love with these two as a couple. It’s adorable, it’s hilarious, and it’s really, really sweet. I think it’s the first time in the whole show that we actually see Quinn genuinely happy. It’s refreshing.

Puck calling Finn out on his shit, how he’s always complaining about how hard this is on him but never seems to realize that it’s a thousand times harder for Quinn. The fact that it took five whole episodes of Quinn being pregnant before somebody asked “what about how she’s feeling” is really sad, though.

Burt sticking up for Kurt and not taking any of Will’s bullshit.

Burt being faced with the reality that Kurt is being bullied, and probably will be bullied for the rest of his life. It’s an emotional scene, and while it’s nice to see Burt tell Kurt that “nobody pushes the Hummel’s around”, you can also see how it’s just hitting him that Kurt doesn’t have it easy, and will never have it easy, all because other people are narrow minded and stupid. He never once blames Kurt or asks him to stop being himself – in fact, he encourages Kurt to continue being himself, and seems legitimately angry when Kurt admits he flubbed the note. It’s really refreshing, coming from the guy who “isn’t in love with the idea” of his son being gay and isn’t ready to have a conversation about Kurt and guys yet.

Kurt being willing to sacrifice a solo because he doesn’t want his father to be hurt by the bullying he faces. I feel like this really defines a huge part of Kurt’s character, and it’s nice to see him becoming fleshed out.

Will drawing attention to the fact that McKinley High isn’t accessible, and Artie wanting to use the Glee bake sale money to build a ramp in the auditorium. I’m really glad that they touched on the issue of accessibility without getting too “life is hard enough for Artie as it is can’t we make it just a little easier for him?”, which I find a lot of shows, movies, and books tend to do. They focus wasn’t on how hard Artie’s life is because he’s in a wheelchair, it was on the fact that the lack of accessibility in the school is what makes his life harder. He isn’t the problem the – the school is.

Brittany openly and honestly being friends with Becky – not because she feels pity for her, but because she actually likes her. I have no idea how this Brittany eventually turned into the awful, mean-spirited Brittany that we were subjected to throughout most of seasons 3 and 4. I feel like people always want to focus on Quinn’s character assassination but honestly, this show did Brittany so dirty.

I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with the scene between Tina and Artie at the end. I do think they’re super cute and super sweet, and the scene definitely has that tone. Tina revealing that she doesn’t have a stutter and doesn’t feel like she has to keep faking because now she’s in Glee and doesn’t want to push people away is sweet, but I also really appreciate that Artie calls her out when she says that they’re the same, because he’s right, when it comes to this, they’re not. He can’t fake the fact that he’s in a wheelchair, and it was unfair of her to act like they have something in common because of a speech impediment that she’s been faking for years. That being said…

Things I Don’t Like:

… it’s not like Tina gets to fake being Asian. Artie acts like because Tina doesn’t have a stutter she suddenly isn’t a minority and doesn’t know what it’s like to be discriminated against. To be fair to Artie, though, Glee never really addressed race issues on a large scale, and was honestly full of microaggressions and just… overall had a very bad, very ugly relationship with race. So it’s not like Artie is specifically being ignorant (and I mean, for fucks sake, he’s a fourteen-year-old, I don’t expect him to be completely knowledgeable on intersectionality and oppression), it’s just how Glee rolls. It still rubs me the wrong way, though.

Small addition to that, who the fuck has their first date in their high school after hours? Why?

The fact that we finally get to see some of the everyday struggles that Artie faces because the school simply isn’t accessible, but it’s shown through a montage of Finn and Rachel struggling with these things.

Finn and Rachel using a fake disability in order to get Finn a job. That is honestly so disgusting and gross, I can’t even begin to explain how awful it is. Ugh.

Quinn making no effort to get a job herself, but insisting that Finn do so. Look, I’m usually on Quinn’s side in this whole story, but in this episode she is honestly being quite unreasonable. Especially considering Finn isn’t actually the father of her baby, and she knows that full well.

Rachel acting like she deserves the solo that was literally handed to her. If you don’t work for something you can’t get mad when it’s taken away. Also, that line where she’s like “maybe one day you’ll find a way to create teaching moments without ruining my life” makes me roll my eyes SO HARD. How is Will supposed to ever teach anybody anything if you demand all of his attention and every single song ever sung? For fucks sake…

Everybody acting like Brittany shouldn’t be hanging out with Becky, and seeming surprised that the two are friends. Fuck off, you assholes.

Songs

Dancing with Myself: Artie’s first real solo. I can’t believe it took nine episodes for us to get this. Artie’s voice is amazing, and this slowed-down version of the song really works. I especially like how the instruments fade away at the end and we see that it’s really just Artie singing alone in the auditorium. It really works to showcase how lonely and isolated he feels. My only issue is that we are forced to watch Will awkwardly creeping. I wish they could have let Artie just have his moment, instead of making it about Will deciding to be Noble.

Defying Gravity: I’m a huge Wicked fan, so this cut version has always sort of irked me, mostly because they cut my favourite part of the song. I also am not really a fan of the Rachel sections of this song (and I’ve never bothered listening to the full Rachel solo version) because I feel like she sounds too much like Idina Menzel and what’s the point of doing a cover if you just sound exactly like the original singer? The format of it for the diva-off is cool, though, and Kurt sounds awesome. It really does suck that they forced him to mess up the note when Chris Colfer specifically wanted to sing this song.

Proud Mary: I love this song! The energy is awesome, and I feel like it’s the first real group number that we get. The choreography is awesome, and the outfits are adorable. Really a fantastic way to end a fantastic episode.

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 29.08.17 lb

plain text version here. 

lo shuru sanskaari music. 🙄🙄🙄

never getting over the “fuck me” bedroom eyes they’re giving each other. 😏😏😏

gauri feeding shaktiiii cake. gosh, what even do you call it when you start shipping a new parental figure for a character? there are no words in fandom culture for all the dynamics this show makes me ship!!!! 😫😫😫

... such unnecessary tension. just eat the damn cake, omkara. 😒😒😒

shivika giving each other “kuch karnaaa padegaaaa” looks 🙃🙃🙃

yes plz, turn for you to play shipper now. yell at omkara alternately till he fucking fixes this ish. 😒😒😒

shaktiji is practically glowing from all the #shivika shipping. happiness is a good look on him. 😊😊😊

who’da thunk that i’d eventually be rooting for shakti as the good parent? in any case, he did less damage than pinky, so there’s that. 😕😕😕

god i hate this stupid “abhi tak shaadi nahi hui hai, toh door raho” nonsense in remarriage tracks. they were living together for more than six months. they could have been having crazy monkey sex in that time for all you know. bloody nonsense. 😑😑😑

i am happy that anika looks just as dismayed as shivaay at this development. 😌😌😌

LMAO RUDRA, HAATH KO AAYA PAR MOOH NA LAGA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

the dubbing of this damn scene... 😐😐😐

ohhhhhhhh great. pinky’s here to fuck up the happy. 😒😒😒

omkara’s instant bitch face. love itttttttt. 😆😆😆

nope. shakti is firmly #teamShivika. SHAKTIJI OUT!!!!!!!!! 😙😙😙

i think omki took that “8 baje kamre ka darwaaza bandh” instruction from rudra a little too seriously. he looks mad at shivaay for making him leave this late at night. 😋😋😋

honestly #me. don’t you make me leave my bed/room after 8 pm. you won’t like my grumpy ass. 😒😒😒

OMG YES THEY BROUGHT UP THE “ROTE HUE AAYEGA MERE PAAS” DIALOGUE!!! WE’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR ITTTTTTTT 😭😭😭😭

omki’s excitement and glee at shivaay’s happiness. oh my heart. my boys. my beautiful boysssssss. 😭😭😭

4 LIONS MEN GOING FROM GROWLY ASSHOLES TO SOFT PUSSYCATS WHO ARE SO HAPPY TO BE IN LOVE IS MY ULTIMATE FAVE THING EVER OK *weeps* 😭😭😭😭😭

saansein ruk jaati hai was anika’s thing. and di’s thing to arnav. not omki’s to shivaay’s. 😕😕😕

I LOVE HOW SHIVAAY MADE OM COME SEE HIM IN THE DEAD OF THE NIGHT JUST SO HE CAN GEEK OUT ABOUT BEING IN LOVE AND HOW BEAUTIFUL HIS GIRL IS 😚😚😚😚

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY BOYSSSSSSSSSSSSS 😭😭😭😭

“sabse pehle main tujhse bataane aa gaya” BECAUSE HE’S YOUR PERSONNNNNNN. 💖💖💖

awwww man, i’m just so happy and weepy from all the feeelz. 😭😭😭😭

lol omki yelling at him for telling HIM first instead of anika. 😊😊😊

“i think i need a hug. i think we both need a hug.”

HAWWWWWWWW WITHOUT RUDRA?????? 😯😯😯

THIS HUG THO. MY BOYS. MY BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL BOYS. OMKI SO HAPPY, HE’S A BLURRRRRRRR. 😅😅😅

“subah subah shivaay singh oberoi pakode tal raha hai?”

a sentence i never thought i’d hear. also, probably a real headline in the newspapers of this show’s universe, knowing the press and the way they act in this show. 😒😒😒

ANIKA AGREES WITH ME ABOUT THE NEWS THING 😧😧😧

anika’s about to lose it at him for using the wrong type of oil. 😆😆😆

(god, she’s so me, it hurts. i too am very specific about shit like this. 😕😕😕) 

“aap na bohutttttttt cute ho.”

not in that ugly ass shirt and white jeetendra pants from the 80′s he’s not. 🙄🙄🙄

ALSO, NO YOU!!!!!!!!!! GOD MY GIRL LOOKS SOOOOOOOOO GOOD TODAY. 😍😍😍😍

billu hates being called “cute”. he wants to be called “HOT”, does he? 😏😏😏

OMG HE DOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😯😯😯😂😂😂

lol his innocent “haan dadi????? 😇😇😇”

snort. idiot. he’s doing ONE ARM DISTANCE like we used to do in schoooooool, for assemblies. 🤣🤣🤣

wait, so they’re still in the same room at night? so, what does this “do foot” nonsense even matter??????? 😑😑😑

“DADI KO MAT BOL!!!!!!!!!!!!”  “DO FOOT, MY FOOT!”

oh billu. you’re incorrigible. 😝😝😝

also, um hello, YOUR PAKODE?!!?!?! 😯😯😯😯

incoming takaraaana in 3... 2... 1.... 

EEEEEEEEE HE PULLED HER IN CLOSER EEEEEEEEEEE 😍😍😍

ohhhhhh you twoooooo awkward babiesssss. 😌😌😌

YES, SHIVIKA SHIPPING RIKARA!!!!!!!! 😁😁😁

anika helpfully informing shivaay of gauri’s “atrangi ideas” 😊😊😊

anika’s excited squeals oh my hearttttttt what a fucking cutie!!! 💖💖💖

“ab jab hum nahi lad rahein, toh jo humari jagah khaali hai kisi ko toh bharni padegi.”

this damn family thrives on conflict and chaos. check yourselves before you wreck yourselves, idiots. 😐😐😐😐

YAS, MISSION RIKARA IS A-GO!!!!!!!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

what the fuck is a “shaadi ka bowl”? 🤔🤔🤔

what’s this 90′s bollywood type theme music. 😒😒😒

pfffffffft rudra. you’re soooooo lame. 🙄🙄🙄

HA! i like how she gave it back to him! “public police ko nahi bachaati. police public ko bachaati hai.” 😎😎😎

ok romance is getting tooo icky with the staring. also i haaate their music. fwding. 🙄🙄🙄

gauri approves of shivaay’s olive oil waale pakode. at least someone does. 😋😋😋

meanwhile anika here is working on om. yaaaaaas, i am loving this division of labour. MY BROTPSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! 😘😘😘

shivaay feeding gauri pakode apne haath se. LIKE HE DOES HIS BABY BOY RUDRA. i am actually fucking crying. 😭😭😭😭😭

oh boy anika omki ko faraq ka jaap pada rahi hai. 😐😐😐

OMG SHIVAAY BAAT BANA RAHE HO YA BIGAAD RAHE HO 😯😯😯

but fully loving how he’s trash talking his own brother for bulbullllllllllllll behnaaaaaaa 😚😚😚

OH MY GOD SHE’S SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEE WHAT EVEN IS HER FAAAAAACE 😍😍😍

meanwhile anika toh is going to town on omki with reverse psychology. behen, sambhaal ke. bante bante baat ke upar apni bulldozer mat chalaiyo. 😣😣😣

OMFG HIS FACE AT “DER HO CHUKI HAI” AND “MOVE ON”. YES!!!!!!!! 🙃🙃🙃

“ab gauri ko main pasand nahi hoon???? 😟😟😟” 

THE FEAR. I AM LOVING IT. I AM LOVINGGGGG ITTTTT. 😆😆😆

“agar woh tumhare paas aaye toh mooh pher lo. pher lena!!!! achcha ab yahaan phero, sun toh lo.” 

omfg shivaaaaaaaay. lmaooooooo i love these two togetherrrrr. 🤣🤣🤣

ok kids, time to pick a team in the replies: are you #TeamAniKara or #TeamShivRi

you guys know my team already. bade bhaiyya and bulbul have my fuckinggggg heart. 😍😍😍😍

“ab gauri om se door bhaagegi.” “aur om gauri ke peeche peeche!”  “aur hum?” 

tum dono ab make out karoge. 😌😌😌

*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh* 😍😍😍😍😍

oufffffo dadiiiiiiii yaaaaaaar. 😣😣😣

LMAO “pehle toh nahi tha puttar, lekin teri harkatein dekh kar...” dadi let the boy liveeeeeee lollllllll 😆😆😆

you guys i can’t tell you how hella glad that i am that anika is just as frustrated as billu. it just warms my hearttttt that she’s as into it as he is. 😌😌😌

oh my heartttt, omkiiiii. look at his faaaace. and how he’s nervously adjusting his shirt and vest before approaching her. 😭😭😭

‘please still love me!’

oh boy, not the best voices to have in your head guiding you. honestly, why would you take advice from a couple who haven’t even been properly together for 24 hours yet!!?!?! 🙄🙄🙄

ohhhh boy omki is going to be asad (from QH) ka sequel, with the “woh actually, main...”s. 😬😬😬

HIS PANIC AT “SAB KHATAM HO GAYA HAI”!!!!!!! HER ADORABLE FAKE GUSSA! HIS DARRRA HUA FACE! I LOVE IT ALL OMG 

ohhhhhhhhhhhhh no. these fucking idiots. they underestimated omki. 😟😟😟😬😬😬

OK LITERALLY NO ONE CARES ABOUT TEJVILANA. FWDING. 

will i ever stop sighing happily over these two and their cuteeeee???? 😭😭😭😍😍😍😚😚😚

hahahahahaha shivaay dropping the stuff and fumbling picking it up . what an idiottttt. 🤣🤣🤣

oh boy why does dadi have rope?!!?!?! 😬😬😬

what a cutieeeeeeeee 😍😍😍

OMFG OMKI DHOKEBAAZ 😧😧😧

omggggg hahahahah shivaay singing “jahaan main jaata hoon wahin chali aati hai” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

lo rudra ki bhi entry. loving the casual way shivaay and he exchanged rock on 🤘🏽🤘🏽🤘🏽🤘🏽 gestures as greetings. 

“rudy, pata hai, shivaay rangay-haathon pakda gaya!” “bhaiyya yeh koi holi khelne ka time hai kya?” 

snortttttt, idiot. 😂😂😂😂

ohhhhhhhh boyyyyy. omkiiiiii. tu toh puraaaaara paaapi nikla. 😫😫😫

bulbul doing taubaaaa gestures at “patne - pataane ki baatein” hahaha 😆😆😆

lol anika getting mad at shivaay for being an idiotttttt. 😂😂😂

ouff againnnn tejvilana nonsense. fwding. 🙄🙄🙄

lo, omkara has taken the ramayan parallels from the initial promos a little too seriously and drawn a literal lakshman rekhaaaaaa. 😐😐😐

ladki waale kaun ladke waale kaun waala confusion.

lmao smart singh oberoi has very cleverly declared himself a ladki waala and stepped rightttt over the loc lololol 😂😂😂

DEVAR SQUAD ARE LADKI WAALE. *weeping* 😭😭😭

BEHNEIN BADE BHAIYYA KI TARAF SE. 😚😚😚

AND SHAKTIJI IS LADKI WAALE. FROM “BETI” KE SIDE. *weeps 5ever* 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

pffft  tumhaaare dad aur mom haiiii kahaaan? have you even bothered calling them for the last 2 weeks? 😒😒😒

ugh fuck off pinky. no one invited you. 😤😤😤

maaaaaaaaaan, what even is this jhanvi plot?

who dat on the bike? um... kinda looks like gauri ka woh “apun ki sister” waala bhaiyya? 😕😕😕

OMFG IT IS HIM. WHUT? 😯😯😯

HOLY SHIT WHAT EVEN IS THIS JHANVI/DANDIIII TEAM UP??? 😟😟😟

ok idek why i’m watching this nonsense. oh wait. i do, for this face: 

who the fuck told these people that south indians start every sentence with “aiyyo”????? 😒😒😒

like idk about other south indian states, but elders always admonish me if i say “aiyyo” too much - it’s a thing you say in distress and it’s believed saying it over and over kinda invites negativity into your life. 😐😐😐 

THEY’RE TAMILIANS AND THAT’S A MALAYALAM NEWSPAPER. WHAT THE FUCK EVEN OMGGGGGGGGG. 😧😧😧😟😟😟

ALSO THE TITLE OF THE NEWSPAPER IS JUST A BUNCHA RANDOM MALAYALAM LETTERS THROWN TOGETHER????? THE FUCK. 😣😣😣😣

dandiiiiiii is under the influence of dosas and thinks kaveri/peter are legit. don’t blame him, whatever said and done, those dosas did look damn good. 😌😌

also, i hate the way north indians pronounce “dosa” - it’s tho-sha/tho-sa, not dosa with a hard D. 😒😒😒 

OH THANK GOD. DANDI CAN TELL MALAYALAM AND TAMIL APART. HALLELUJAH. ALREADY LIKE HIM MORE. 😐😐😐

jhanvi is like yep, that kinda ignorant ass north indian bs sound like tej/svetlana for sure. 😒😒😒

didn’t even get what the precap was about really. some murti, some shiv-parvati sanjog, and everyone shocked at shivaay’s possesiveness re: khanna. ok???????? 🤔🤔🤔🤔

hopefully om-gauri get a little trip outta this hellhole to go get this murtiiiii? 😊😊😊

[alphabees-writes]

Glee - S1 E2 (Showmance)

Mama Mia, here I go again!

Please don’t tell me this GROWN MAN had his license plate changed to “GLEE” to reflect the high school club he runs. PLEASE.

Rachel brings a whole-ass SUITCASE to school? I know she’s extra by nature but PLEASE.

Finn just Doesn’t Know What Things Are! I adore him. 

You’re really just going to walk by Kurt hanging out by the dumpster with a bunch of dudes who harass him in the hallways? AGAIN? Nice one.

“One day, you will all work for me” I doubt these guys are going to be working up the ranks at Vogue.com, Kurt, but I rate the energy.

Emma you’re better than this dude. Run. Run as fast as your hollow bird pelvis will let you.

SANTANA’S FIRST LINE!!! You’re right, they should get a room. 

For all the creepy obsessing Will’s done so far over the glee kids, you’d think HE would be the one to notice how they don’t have enough members to qualify

Sue points out a bunch of special ed classes, and yet I’m pretty sure she says McKinley has no real support available for special needs students later on? They must be whack classes

These people are really acting like all Will does is coach the glee kids even though he’s literally a Spanish teacher

Early Quinn may be incredibly mean, but like, I’d say thanks if she killed me 

Rachel really has a whole spare outfit ready to change in to post-slushying? I guess that makes sense if it happens that regularly

Cory Monteith REALLY couldn’t dance and we love him for it

Disco didn’t suck until Mr Schue got his grubby little mitts on it

I almost forgot about Kurt’s selection of hats. What is this one? A fez? It’s fez shaped

Why is Kurt so sure they’ll throw fruit specifically? Is that McKinley asshole custom?

Terri’s actress, once again nailing the act of making me want to throttle her

Kendra also nails that.

A “used” house oh my god

THIS ARGUMENT BETWEEN KURT AND MERCEDES IS GOLDEN. “You need to call me before you dress yourself. You loo like a technicolor zebra.” They REALLY match. God I hope they ad-libbed that.

It’s the first rap of the show, folks. 

I hate Mr Schue doing Kanye, I really do, but imagine Finn doing it instead like he planned. Better? Worse? I can’t even tell anymore. 

The LOOK Kurt gives Mercedes when she starts belting out the Jamie Foxx part... Don’t be jealous hon you’ll get your bars. For real though his face is hilarious, he looks like he’s worried she’s about to burst a blood vessel with all that TALENT

Sign #5 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Get your hands OFF of Kurt Will Schuester he doesn’t want to dance! Tbh though I love season 1 Kurt during the group numbers because he just always looks SO done.

Mr Schue’s also wearing a T-shirt that says “DITCH PLANS” on it. Please DITCH the state instead?

KEVIN MCHALE IS THE UNSUNG VOCAL HERO OF THIS WHOLE SHOW AND I WILL NEVER LET ANYBODY FORGET IT

Watching them all sing in a goofy, candid way is honestly healing. 

KURT’S DOING THE SINGLE LADIES RING-HAND MOVE IN THE BACKGROUND THIS BOY REALLY LOVES HIS BEY. Me too Kurt me too

They straight up gave Rachel no gag reflex and had her guidance counsellor make a joke about it? Ok RIB

“Have you ever liked somebody so much you just want to lock yourself in your room, turn on sad music and cry?” Same girl, same

AAAaaaAAALllLlLLLLLlll BYYYYY MYYY SEEEEeeeEEEEEEEELFFFF.........bY mYsEeElF i’M bY mYsElF

Ok I like Emma but she sometimes kinda sucks at her job

“He doesn’t even notice me” Rachel, hon, he’s probably already warned his neighbours about you

“Gay parents encourage rebellion” PICK A SIDE, SUE! I really can’t keep up with the convenient flip-flopping of her bigotry. And with Jean, you’d think she’d go off on Rachel for calling people “chromosonally-challenged”

Finn, of course you know who Justin Timberlake is... That’s Mr Schue’s hotter, less evil twin!

I love how they have to label Robin Thicke on the poster - you know, because of how awful and irrelevant he was even then?

Half the janitors are just gone. How has this school not been closed down already?

Sign #6 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Mr Schue: I want to build a club where people can express themselves musically Literally every single member: Hello Mr Schue, I’m here to express how much I dislike the music you’re making us perform. Mr Schue: Never talk to me or my fake-unborn-son ever again

Humble, modest Finn going d’aww shucks and telling Rachel to stop complimenting him is adorable. I love him!!!

How could I forget the celibacy club... I almost feel bad for Quinn, he’ like the only person there who genuinely cares about being celibate. I don’t buy that anybody’s convinced that Puck’s a virgin...

The fact that Finn thought joining the celibacy club would get him laid is just... Yeah. It suits him. 

Jacob Ben Israel you will die by my hand you slimy, unforgivable bastard. NOBODY IS OBLIGATED TO GET YOUR DINGER WET, SCUMBAG! Short skirts are not an entitlement!!!

I still don’t know what Puck means when he says “Those skirts are crunchy toast” and I don’t think I want to know.

OH GOD T H E M A I L M A N . . .

Finn Hudson has canonically nearly killed a man and I don’t think anybody talks about that enough.

I beg all of you to look up this scene and listen to the way Finn goes “Ahahaha... Driving’s fun...” Like it just brings me so much joy. What a doofus. 

Carole’s first instinct is to yell “OH MY GOD YOU’VE KILLED HIM WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!” Calm down queen he’s gon be fine

Quinn really hates contraception, huh!

I know your wife is a shit, Mr Schue, but it’s fucking reprehensible to lead on another woman. It’s clearly intentional at this point I’m sorry, you don’t put chalk dust on somebody’s nose like that platonically!

Rachel: We’re going to give them what they want! Kurt: Blood? God I love him

I do love the running gag of Figgins wildly overestimating the excitement for the assemblies tbh

This school doesn’t have working toilets but, hey, on the bright side, all you have to do to get expelled is shit yourself!

“Yay, Glee! Glee kids hooray!” Emma just warms my cockles

Will referring to the glee club and saying “We’re on our way back” like no, old man, you’re not getting clout for this. Then again, neither are any of the students until they’ve graduated...

AHH, PUSH IT! KURT’S HIPS. LOOK AT THEM GO. HE’S SO INTO IT.

I WANT THE FACE SUE MAKES WHEN SHE SEES FIGGINS TAPPING HIS FOOT TATTOOED ON MY HEART

Finn’s face as he gets ready to start his part... He’s so nervous. Bless him...

THE PERFECT TIMING OF KURT SLAPPING HIS ASS. And then the zoom on that fucking fanny pack going crazy this scene is so fucking iconic. That fanny pack has been burned into my retinas forever. 

AND THE WAY HE WOBBLES HIS HEAD AROUND AS HE STEPS BACK. KURT! FUCKING! HUMMEL!

Oh god, now he’s crawling across the floor to Mercedes. I can’t tear my eyes away he’s GOING for it!

They really had Finn and Rachel go that hard? Honestly up until that point, the routine isn’t too overtly sexual, but now I understand why they get in trouble 

I DON’T GET HOW THEY’RE STILL LOOKED DOWN ON AFTER THIS PERFORMANCE! Nearly everybody applauds! RIB just had to have that cake and eat it too. 

I demand Will’s resignation too, Sue

Ah, the approved songs list... That they will proceed to ignore for the rest of the season post the Unholy Trinity’s audition

Sign #7 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: He has NO PLACE to be mad at Rachel here. You didn’t listen to any of your students, you wouldn’t compromise, and now they’re going on a sex riot. You did this!

Ken Tanaka you cannot undermine a woman’s self esteem and convince her to settle for you as a second choice, and then complain about feeling like a second choice... WHY do they ever act like he’s a victim here?!

Finn saw that whole-ass picnic set up and didn’t think to ask about it? King. I love one (1) himbo. The way he says “You’re cool, Rachel” just fucks me up every time...

She pours him the TINIEST drink in the world? Girl the cups not even a tenth full and he’s a big boy...

The real OTP is Finn x Airplane Cups

Why does Rachel lie down for the kiss... Is it solely so Finn can have his little overflow at the mayo factory or???

THE MAILMAN SCENE HAPPENS EVERY TIME HE KA-BLAMOS OH MY GOD HOW DID I FORGET...

Look, Rachel, I get that it sucks that he ran away, but he literally has a girlfriend? You couldn’t have expected things to go that well...

THE UNHOLY TRINITY FORMS... I’M QUAKING

Throwback to how blatantly obvious it was that Santana and Quinn weren’t singing at all. How did they think they’d get away with that...

Brittany’s original sideswept bangs? Ugh. Giving me LIFE.

Dianna’s voice turned me gay. I’m genuinely convinced my sexuality is Quinn Fabray’s fault and I’m not even mad?

By this point we know next to nothing about Santana’s character, but the second Sue suggests sabotage, her face fucking lights up. She’s living for it already 10/10

Will you can’t make Emma tag along to all your janitorial shifts I’m sorry. It’s just that you’re married. And a jackass. 

I know Rachel went behind his back, but there’s no real reason to give Quinn the Don’t Stop Believing solo? She’s talented and incredible and I love her, sure, but it doesn’t suit her voice at all my guy, if you didn’t have biscuits for ears you’d know that...

Is this the only instance where Will takes actual responsibility for the glee club’s actions rather than blaming it all on the kids? Wow... A rare gem.

The way he says “I should never have pushed disco so hard...” All serious like... Get a fucking grip

I can believe that Rachel’s neighbours would sue her for singing all the god damn time

Rachel singing “Take A Bow” is more fitting than I realised. At first I was like, “that’s dumb, Finn doesn’t really realise what he did anyway” but it fits her character to use a song and spin it so she feels empowered by it in the end. Or at least, tries to feel that way.

So there’s episode 2! What a hot mess. We love our hot mess.

[magic-and-sass]

Alphabetic-Glee: Glee Series Rewatch 2017- “100″

I will be writing down my initial thoughts and reactions to the episodes as they happen and then posting them here.  OH THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN...AND HURT LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER...AGAIN!

Episode “100”

- Rachel and Mercedes’ ego ALWAYS annoyed me and still do.

- Being a Shadowhunters’ fan, Mike Chang/Harry Shum Jr. just being on screen gives me SOOOO many feels.

- Rachel Rhodes is ALWAYS a delight.

- The Newbies’ reactions to her…lol

- Will just needs to stop.  I will never NOT have a deep dislike for his character.

- Kurt is just…He’s FOREVER my baby and I just, yeah I fucking love him.

- “Raise Your Glass” SO fun.

- Puck GREW SO MUCH! 

- OMG, I forgot about Biff…**GAGS**

- GAWD!  Naya Rivera is GORGEOUS…I LOATH Santana with a passion…but she’s SO FUCKING PRETTY!  I just want to make out with her.

- Maybe it’s because I haven’t watched “GLEE” in awhile but Brittany and Santana don’t annoy me AS much as the have in the past…Spoiler alert: I’m NOT a Brittana fan or a fan of either character.

_The whole “Brittany’s a genius” thing...No.

- Mike Chang’s “Dude, you were texting the whole time.”

- “Fondue For Two”…LMAO!

- “Dancing With The Stars” reference.  PRAISE!

- I want to PUNCH BIFF’S FACE

- Quinn’s “Skank Phase” referenced…AWESOME!

- Sue Sylvester and Jane Lynch is perfect AS usual.

- What I wouldn’t give for a Kurt only new version of  “Defying Gravity.”  His voice is ALL I NEED...**sighs**

- Mercedes and Rachel’s on again-off again feud- OVER it.  Like seriously…LOL!

- Kurt dressed in a “Charlie Brown”-esque shirt.  I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE COSTUME DEPARTMENT!

- Blaine being the biggest “Kurt Stan” EVER!  All other arguments are invalid.  He loves his Fiance SOOOOOO much.  SHOOT ME IN THE FACE!

- “That should be on the Broadway.” – April Rhodes on “Defying Gravity

- Harry Shum Jr. Dancing is just sinful! 

- I LOVE Brittany’s “Cat Shirt”

- Unpopular Opinion?: Chord’s/Sam’s LONG hair will ALWAYS be a favorite of mine.  I don’t care what anyone else says.

- GOD!  I LOVE THE GLEE CAST!

- Puck’s voice…**MELTS**

 - Dianna Argon is BEAUTIFUL!  She’s angelic, she’s…Okay I need to stop.

- Santana’s rant at Rachel is just…SO FUCKING DESERVED!  Oh, is my hate for Rachel Berry showing? Sorry…NOT sorry.

- Oh Sue…and her wikileaks search…and the META!  LOL!

- Will getting pissed at April has always and WILL always piss me off.  He’s such a tool.

- Quinn and Puck kicking ass…specifically Biff’s ass is an absolute joy to watch.

- Will needs to shut up…UGH!

- Holly Holiday will always brighten my day.  She’s so real…LOL!

- “HAPPY”

- I am getting SO many feels from this…and it’s only the first episode in.  I’m doomed…DOOMED!

- Oh, Blainers…and his hair gel.

- Kurt/Chris is sex on a stick.  The end.

- FINN’S FOOTBALL JERSEY  

- Puck and Quinn = Soulmates

- TELL HIM TO STAY QUINN!

- “Stay”…SHE DOES!  **FANGIRL FLAILS** (I did remember that…LOL!)

- Finn’s plaque…Glee Club ending…this just hurts...all over again

- Kurt’s teary eyes during Will’s speech **UGLY CRYING**

- OH!  HOW I WISH THERE’D BEEN MORE MIKE CHANG ON GLEE!

- April Rhodes and Holly Holiday, FTW! 

Overall I have to confess I enjoyed this episode WAY MORE than the first time I watched it.  Not sure why.

BRING ON THE NEXT EPISODE!

[miasswier]

miasswier’s ultimate glee ranking: no 28

28: Thanksgiving

Written by:  Russel Friend and Garret Lerner. Directed by:  Bradley Buecker

Overall Thoughts: Remember when Glee did a Thanksgiving episode that could have aired on Thanksgiving but instead they aired it the week after? That was great. I mean, I’m Canadian, so Thanksgiving was way over for me, but you know. I know this sounds snarky, but I really love this episode. It’s great to have so many of the original cast members bac k together, while Kurt and Rachel continue to thrive in New York. We finally get a bit of closure on the Klaine break-up, and Isabelle Wright aka the love of my life is back to bestow upon Kurt wisdom and upon me her amazing hair and amazing personality. Honestly, even the newbie storyline doesn’t annoy me as much as it could, because they manage to include a lot of the original ND members in said storyline, making it far more bearable.

What I Like:

QUINN IS BACK

I love the opening scene of this episode. It’s so wonderful and emotional and UGH when Finn fucking joins in I always cry it’s so goddamn amazing.

Everyone going out to Breadstix and catching up like the adorable best friends that they are.

Rachel and Kurt both look so good in that scene where they’re walking around NYC, and Rachel’s excitement about New York and their future is so invigorating.

ISABELLE IS BACK! I lover her so fucking much why wasn’t she in every episode o this season?!

It’s so nice to see an adult giving a young adult actual adult advice about how to move on from a very painful experience. Isabelle clearly has experience with this thing, and she is so genuine in her desire for Kurt to at least accept Blaine’s apology, even if that doesn’t mean getting back together. Seriously, I love her so much.

While I found it frustrating back in “Special Education” that what Rachel was really angry about was that Finn slept with Santana, not that he lied about being a virgin, in this situation I think it makes sense for her to be angry about the fact that Brody slept with Cassie, not just that he slept with someone else. And I think Rachel makes it really clear that that’s what she’s upset about. I’m totally on her side here.

When Brody is making the turkey and he goes “but no singing!” and Kurt looks so affronted and Rachel’s annoyed, “What?!” and pointing the peas at him.

I do appreciate the sentiment of Jake letting Ryder get the dance solo, even if the reason behind it kind of frustrates me (more on that later), and I also like how Ryder tells Jake to take the dance solo after all.

Marley saying she specifically doesn’t want to disappoint Jake and Ryder, hi, hello Glee, why weren’t they in a poly relationship?

Santana looking out for Marley, even if it was in that unique Santana way of hers.

The way Kurt flirts so easily and casually with Brody during “Let’s Have a Kiki” like Lima!Kurt would NEVER feel that comfortable being so casually flirty with a straight boy it makes me so happy to see

Emma being so excited to see Will back and Sue just deadpanning “America is thrilled” I love Sue so much

Kurt and Blaine’s conversation! Gosh, it puts me through so many emotions. The way Blaine just bursts into tears when Kurt admits he misses him, the way he can’t help but laugh when Kurt makes the quip about the mouse (he always seems to be the only one who really appreciates how hilarious Kurt is), the way he can’t stop himself from telling Kurt he loves him, and how he has to hang up right away as soon as Kurt says he loves him back because he obviously doesn’t want Kurt to hear him continuing to cry. And Kurt putting himself out there, admitting he’s not ready to forgive Blaine, but he misses him so much. The fact that he actually lets himself tell Blaine he loves him back. GOD THAT SCENE KILLS ME. It’s probably one of my favourite Klaine scenes ever.

I really like how they showed us what Marely was going through in her eyes, how disoriented she was becoming, etc. It makes for an even stronger “shock” (I mean, we all knew this was coming) when she passes out.

When they’re trying to figure out who should be the male dance lead and Sam goes “Hello? White Chocolate?” and starts dancing and Mercedes just goes “Oh, no, no, no, no”

What I Don’t Like:

I don’t know why Glee always insists on putting so much goddamn pressure on one single character to lead everybody to victory. Tina has more of a solo than Marley, so why do they all depend on Marley to be her best to win? Why is it on Marley’s shoulders? I get her feeling that way in her own head, but like, there are multiple mentions throughout the episode that they won’t win unless Marley is in peak performing condition. I don’t know if this was meant to be foreshadowing, or what, but it’s seriously frustrating.

It does frustrate me that Jake and Ryder continue to act like Marley has no agency in which one of them they date. The fact that Ryder basically says “Nah, it’s cool, you can date her, just give me the dance solo” as if Marley doesn’t get a choice is really annoying.

Kurt and Rachel continuously referring to their Thanksgiving as an “Orphans Thanksgiving” like you two made the decision not to come home? What are you doing.

Rachel forgives Brody WAY too quickly, and honestly, he basically shames her into doing it. He claims she isn’t being an adult or whatever, because apparently adults aren’t allowed to be angry when someone does something that hurts them? He also makes a super mysoginistic comment about how she’s being “that crazy girl who expects people to read her mind” when she’s literally mad because he slept with someone he knows hates her and she hates back. You don’t have to be a mind reader to know that she would be angry about that? Honestly, I wish they’d pulled the plug on Brody/Rachel here instead of having them suddenly jump into a super intense relationship. They could have made really good friends, maybe casual friends with benefits? I don’t know, I just really wish she’d stayed angry at him longer.

WHY IS KITTY SO GODDAMN MEAN WHAT IS HER MOTIVATION I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY SHE HATES MARLEY SO MUCH.

Songs:

Home/Homeward Bound: I love this song so much. It’s so gorgeous and so sweetly nostalgic, and such a beautiful blend of the best voices in the club. Absolutely gorgeous.

Come See About Me: Not really a fan of this one, but more-so because the song isn’t really my style. The performance is fun, though, and it’s really nice to see Quinn, Santana, and Brittany performing together again.

Whistle: I actually really like this cover a lot. They managed to have a white guy covering a rap without actually having him rap? Or, at least not really rapping? It sounds good, I don’t know. That being said, I do find it ridiculous that they would perform this song at a high school glee club competition. I don’t think so.

Live While We’re Young: I love this song, mainly because I love Sebastian so much! Although I will say, I’m not even a Seblaine shipper but it’s always felt there should have been a shot of Blaine in the audience while Sebastian is singing.

Let’s Have a Kiki/Turkey Lurkey Time: Would have preferred this not be a mash-up, but still a decent song, and a really fun performance.

Gagnam Style: Whose idea was this and why was this allowed to happen? I feel so bad for Tina because she finally has a solo in a competition, and it’s this. Seriously, I don’t get why so much pressure was on Marley. Tina is out here singing a song in Korean. Christ. They would have lost even if Marley hadn’t passed out, because this is just… Yikes.

Final Thoughts: This is an awesome, sweet, well-balanced episode. Obviously there’s stuff I don’t like, but it’s overshadowed by all the stuff I love. It’s just the right balance of nostalgia and new. Also, Quinn is back. I missed Quinn.