#fuck malthus

[prole-log]

[ilajue]

it's all fun and games until a niche political figure is mentioned in my presence and then all of the sudden the gangs getting a lesson on Thomas malthus

[ollieolzzz]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HE LOOKS LIKE MALTHUS FROM HILDA FURACÃO.

I CANT DO THIS. HE. HEEE!!

[marimo331]

I'm in my feels about Hilda Furacao namely how from the first episodes you have these moments when Hilda is sad or lost, or feels empty for seemingly no reason . Which are undercut with Malthus having the same feelings and even says "what am I missing ? " they both get restless and can't sleep on the same night .

You can't get more "soulmates " that this . They've been likely feeling each others sadness since Malthus arrived in Belo Horizonte . Maybe even before ? I dunno . But they are closely linked and have been for a long while without knowing . (Thank you Gloria Perez)

Maybe this was God's plan for them ? Maybe HE saw how Malthus was being brought up and what Hilda had to go through because of Daltons death and the society around her and connected them and brought them together .

In a way Hilda was a miracle for Malthus . His worldview was changed his heart was cracked open to care for everyone and truly love everyone .

This is a repost by the way . I can't find my orignal post .

[glitterandsparkels]

i love my background!!<33

I don't know what to put!!

[kun-diman]

OMFG HILDA FURACAO IS SOOOOO GOOD 😩😩😩

[rainbowgod666]

My thing of "what creepypastas do after Pasta For Breakfast and Being In Italy From 2017 Until 2020-ish" is WACKY

Slenderman doesnt do the pages thing that often (SCP: overlord made him realize that now people arent afraid of paper anymore). Dont ask him about the time he became real, hes still mad about it

Sonic.exe is the sniper, he has canonically killed many of the "bad guys" (look at the last few conflicts of the world- my man getting HEADSHOTS) and he does it as one of its 3 jobs (the other 2 being Mobius Management and Managing the Autism Engine's Reason Lock with Bête noire and Harry DuBois)(long story)

Jeff the killer and Ben Drowned are assassins. They do stealth. Or smth. Eyeless Jack does it SLIGHTLY better but alas, his obsession with kidneys doesnt help

MARIO.exe and Lord X are big, dumb brutes that behave like a mixture of venom and deadpool. Usually the ones doing the Demolishing

Herobrine is usually too busy being my brains equivalent of O5-1 (but better ofc) but hes the one sending the main squad sometimes.

They are monsters. Some of them have eaten humans. And have zero issue with killing, but if you want the A-team equivalent of 2012's internet, they WILL be there.

They are the Creepypasta Mercenary Unit. And holy shit do they love their job.

[death-cannot-kill-you]

hello? are we doing fucking eugenics over here?

[bheska]

Hilda Furacão is so funny. Hilda the Sinner is having a great time going to football games, chatting with old dudes and daydreaming about her fairytale man giving back her shoe so she can be happily married

Meanwhile Malthus the Saint™ is stress eating, having a faith/identity crisis and fantasizing vividly about Hilda straping him to a bed and fucking his soul out of him

[getmeoutofhell]

could you do slasher house with a reader who’s a vampire :33 like which slasher would let them feed on them and etc etc 🧛🏻‍♂️🩸

Reader being a vampire in the Horror House headcanons!

being a vampire in a house full of evil spirited murders is something you don’t think of. as you arrive at the place, the slashers act like you’re one of them. well i mean, in some way you are right?

now, let’s talk about who would let you feed on them.

well, i know for a fact freddy would definitely let you feed on him, i think. maybe in dream world only tho, because you know he’s useless in real life. in the real world he’s all like “you ain’t sucking my veins, vampie!” but in dream world he’ll say something like “drink me baby!” or something like that.

as for some of the others, not a chance. more specifically micheal is saying hell no. 😂

if you’re out hunting or whatever, one of the slashers will be there with you. they like when the get the victim close to death, and then you step in and finish them off by taking their blood.

back to freddy he may find you attractive for being a blood thirsty creature. although aren’t they all blood thirsty? 🤔

anyway, you’ll have fun in the house. sometimes jason will let you drink his victims blood, he’s so sweet you just can’t help but love him.

hannibal knows that you don’t like garlic, so when he makes your plate of food, he won’t put none on there. sometimes if he pre seasons his food, he’ll let you know that there’s gonna he garlic in it. he’s a respectful human isn’t he? :)

patrick couldn’t give less of a fuck. i’m lying he is now more freaked out and worried you might try and steal his blood. so when he sees you, he immediately runs the opposite direction. you’re slight offended. he doesn’t wanna look like a raisin, what can i say?

oh yeah let’s talk about the sun light. you, valak, and malthus hate that shit. don’t worry, you won’t really be around it, since you know you’re not the only one who hates it. the floor their on is pretty dark, so that’s good.

as for the rest of them, they’re fine with you being a vampire. once they get to know you they fuck with your vibe.

the ghostface group think you being a blood sucking physco is awesome! going into more detail mickey alteri is gonna try to smash. that’s up to you if you let him 😂👏

[the-court-rat-jester]

every episode of hilda furacao:

all characters: *look at each other* yeah, no, we're mostly chill

malthus: *having the worse day of his entire fucking life, like it sucks, it's agony, nothing will ever be okay ever again, god has forsaken us all*

[sparrowsortadrawzzz]

LEMME JUST RANT ABOUT URINETOWN FOR A SECOND NOW THAT MY ROLE IS OVER CUZ ITS SO GOOD-

see the crazy thing about urinetown is the paralells. like, we don't see Hope as this master manipulator, yet...she is???? she went to the most expensive university in the world for it?????

it first occurs in follow your heart, she practically plays with his feelings to get him to like her back (see her validating his feelings and using the "Why, my heart was saying the same thing just the other day!!" card), and from there, yes, the two are genuine, but you gotta admit, in follow your heart is she does use a bit of a persuasive direction.

then we see her manipulate again in the end when she leads the poor to UGC headquarters and. yknow. kills everyone 💀 she eventually becomes worse that her father by denying them any other option than. die from lack of basic needs, and leads their demise. ALSO SHE COULDVE AT LEAST LISTENED TO THE RESEARCH?? CONTINUED IT??? AND SAVED EVERYONE LIKE BOBBY AND CALDWELL WANTED?????? anyways-

also, Caldwell and Bobby were the same at one point. they had to have been. a poor boy in the midst of crisis has dreams to help the people of his community, so he rises up with the support of his people, and becomes a martyr...sounds like two people, doesn't it?

ALSO², PENNY AND CALDWELL ARE SO TRAGIC????? this young woman (who is perhaps a prostitute just to get by) and (probably) poor boy are in love, and once the water table drops and keeps dropping, they take a chance to give into their feelings and have their night together, which leads to their daughter Hope being born, and once that happens Caldwell has possibly already started his revolution, company, and rise to the top. so he takes their daughter (possibly so that she doesn't have to go through what he went through as a child), makes her promise to never tell Hope who she is, and becomes this hard, cold shell of a man he used to be, becoming someone Penny doesn't even recognize anymore. she doesn't love Cladwell, she loves Caldwell, the dreamer who once cared for all the people. and that's probably why she calls him such, to try and get her beloved back.

also erm lockstock how dare you just reject barrel like that-

HARRY AND BECKY ARE TOGETHER???? AND ARE ACTUALLY RABID??????? couple goals <33 /j

who tf is tiny tom, like, is he Harry and Becky's kid????

im obsessed with imagining what Penny and Caldwell were like before UGC

REMEMBER WHEN OUR NIGHT WERE STARRY????

arent you sorry..? (translation: "Are you sorry about loving and listening to me?")

..sure, I'm sorry.. (translation: "You probably want me to say I'm sorry for loving you because you no longer love me, and regret me.")

im not sorry.. (translation: "I STILL FUCKING LOVE YOU AGHHH-")

JUUUST UNNNNSOUNDDDD (translation: "WE STILL LOVE EACH OTHER AND NOW ONE OF US HAS TO DIE-")

all the original broadway cast photos are 2001 crunchy 😭

HAIL MALTHUS

making fun of and calling out the government and twisted cops >:)

the harmonies make me wanna ascend

okay that's all for now 💀💀💀

[inkybinkyboink]

chaotic things about urinetown

the og bobby is sutton fosters brother

the writer/lyricist of the show went to school for poli-sci, dropped out, started writing tv/film/theatre, then wrote Urinetown and didnt write anything else

pay to pee toilets are a real thing

"we, we never fail"

"hail malthus"

the first thing we hear after the overture is the dies irae and spoils the whole show

all the jokes made by characters that arent the poor but also say fuck the rich

"crazy with nitrates half the time"

"never, nada, nein" from cladwell

"hydraulics? little sally?"

little sally

fipp going "i was a young girl once"

little sally knowing what the metaphysical is

little sally

[forbidden-sorcery]

So cool that the green scare got internalized by the left, so now if you have more radical ecological politics than the liberal bullshit peddled by the likes of Bookchin and Kovel they’ll bring out the “ok eco-fascist” shit. Saying something as simple, obvious and objective as “exponential extraction of finite resources for perpetual production is not sustainable” means you’re the boogeyman. I saw a meme recently where someone is like “oh so I can use the word solarpunk to express my anarcho-communism in a less scary way for people?” and it’s like yeah, you can repackage industrialism in bright colors and optimism and people will fucking suck it down and yell “MALTHUS!!!!” at the anarchists who want to act against ecocide.

[mortallyminiaturewerewolf]

Nicolai Malthus' Tormentous Nightmare

So today I had a little battle as my cartoon Jade Falcons against my friend, @gorqueen 's Ghost Bears. Come listen to my tale about what started as a strong game for the Falcon's Claws devolved into a horrible pit of dishonour and doom. Be prepared for a long post

Another bit of context was for this game decided to roleplay and issue challenges when shooting at each other (So you'd declare a target and no one could interfere in those two mech's duels for that round) I however being the ever cunning Nicolai Malthus spaced this rule shortly after I secured a numerical advantage and began dropping Elementals behind people.

The game began with our mechs entering the field, the lighter Ghost Mechs sprinting right up to the Jade Falcon heavies. Star Colonel Kristen Redmond rewards the Hellion Prime's arrogance with a barrage of Pulse Lasers that all hit the centre torso, coring the mech in a single blast. The enemy Kodiak enters a lake to better manage heat but this ends working too well when it fall to the lake bed several times (this turns out to be a blessing in disguise for my foe) as while Nicolai slowly tore the enemy Adder apart

Meanwhile Ciro and Pytor engaged in a mirror match with the Ghost Bear Timberwolf and Hunchback IIC, with the Elementals weighing in where they can, since Ciro's Timberwolf Pryde (it's the month for it after all) was their battletaxi. The Hunchbacks alphastrike each other with the Ghostbear one losing this fight but Pytor not fairing much better, having a leg blown off and shutting down. Ciro meanwhile having taken a cockpit shot and a fall squares up to his enemy in a Timberwolf Prime who ends him with another hit to the cockpit. Ciro's fucking dead trothkin. Ignoring the harassing Elemental (who also manage to deal a cockpit hit back) clambering upon it the Ghost Bear Timberwolf takes this opportunity to unload into the Hunchback's torso, ending the mech.

Around this same time the enemy Adder finally falls and the enemy Kodiak emerges from its watery slumber, vaporising Kristen's Gyro. It is at this point Nicolai Malthus issues a trial to the Kodiak pilot for them to fight in a circle of equals to decide this battle in order to spare any more losses (plus the fact the shop was closing in 20 minutes). Forming up in the middle of the table with the unharmed Jade Falcon Elementals and Ghost Bear Timberwolf looking on they proceed to throw everything they can at each other. Despite his best attempts, including knocking the Kodiak to the ground and alphastriking at the centre torso while it was shutdown Nicolai Malthus suffers a narrow defeat when his mech is shot out from under him. So what did I learn? Never get within in 4 hexes of a Kodiak. Also maybe bring something faster for Elemental ferrying.

[getmeoutofhell]

I just read all of the slasher house stuff and I saw you did Valak head cannons so I was wondering if you would do Annabelle a.k.a Malthus head cannons please

Love you and your work ❤️

Annabelle/Malthus in the Slasher House

thank you and love you too!

where should i start? oh yeah, let’s start with the facts that’s that doll is always by you!

like idk if malthus likes to fuck around or what, but anabelle be all up on you i promise.

if he ever shows his self in the main room, it’s because of one reason. someone pissed him off.

“mortem mortem mortem.” he whispers sometimes at night. you can’t count how many times chucky told him to stfu. you can’t help but laugh more each time it happens.

“fuck u looking at?” chucky says to annabelle. you find that hilarious as well. you sometimes swear you see the dolls eyes move, but you never confirmed anything yet. it’s probably best if you don’t tho.

malthus is more in his own corner person. don’t bother him, and he won’t bother you. art had to learn that the hard way…

to be honest the doll creeps y’all out more than he does. malthus himself doesn’t fool with anybody there at the house. but if he does it’s for a good reason.

each week you catch that damn doll in your room. ‘why the fuck would you he put you there?’ you think, before tossing that bitch out the door. you sometimes wonder if he sort of trusts you with the doll, considering it’s by you at all times.

every so often you see his real form in the corner of your eye or in the shadows. “oh hey malthus.” he doesn’t respond to you but you know he heard you.

sometimes when you wanna be petty you and one of the clowns dress up the annabelle doll in different clothes. “malthus is gonna be so upset.” you laugh, knowing he’s gonna rage at y’all’s tomfoolery.

for some reason, malthus seems to like you the most out of everyone. you don’t know why…or how for that matter. just be careful if he gets to close to you…