#fuck it. why not animate the vampire musicals too

[sailormoonsub]

me: the last sailor moon movie is finally on netflix

my dad: how do you know it's the last?

me: well, there's no more arcs left to adapt— wait a minute. wait a minute

how could I possibly forget.....

[not-the-cheese]

one sentence summaries of every TMA episode

(1-60 i'll add more soon)

part 2 up!

world's most effective anti-smoking PSA

man DOES NOT open coffin. everyone claps.

woman is judgemental towards neighbor even though she has hobbies that are just as weird.

book makes multiple people fall off chair.

man finds bag of teeth and decides he absolutely needs to fuck around and find out.

worm sti.

there was a SCARY MAN in the WAR.

fuck this tree

well at least ted bundy was a great father :)

i'm like 55% sure vampires are real and i'm willing to take those odds

bitches be dying. you're next.

we kill this man because he made the soda too warm.

sorry ur husband's dead. maybe get some help.

Unbox with me ! (GONE WRONG)

hah i'm safe from this one because i have decided to Never Go Into a Cave Ever.

man is so annoying about this spider that even his cat can't be bothered

man's bully finds a book about a Bone Turner and subsequently begins turning people's bones.

this guy sucks at DIY home improvement

aw maybe this priest didn't do anything THAT bad!

oh fuck nevermind

THE SKY ATE MY SON.

the worms stole my identity. i haven't left the house in days.

man beats german children at game of bravery and wins a coin (he later loses this coin)

my ex boyfriend gets casted in the muppets and dies

sorry mom, i've abandoned jesus for a new religion : jesus in the dark.

tall squiggly and HANDsome

old man arm wrestles demon through door knob

the buzzfeed unsolved guys finally catch a ghost but it's their sound tech

immortality but at what cost

working at the big meat factory was so traumatizing it made me vegetarian

i go to america and get almost killed by a furry

well if you love that wasp nest so much why don't you MARRY it (and then she did)

antisocial boat crew bands together to exclude one guy from a midnight party. he dies from the rejection.

bone apple teeth

remember when that norwegian guy threw a tantrum about us not digging a hole? turns out we were right to not dig that hole.

babe come over my parents have taken ill and passed away

man fucks around and it costs him everything

HOMOPHOBIC CHINESE VASE

oh god oh fuck the worms are here

thank you for participating in worms! please rate your wormsperience from 1 to 10.

the wormsperience has left me deeply scarred. i'm going to get lost in a tunnel about it.

🎸music makes me loose control🎸

spooky stories to tell at the next police slumber party

child threatens to run away and join the circus one too many times, and now the circus has come to cash in.

these mosquitoes are mad sus

man frequents local barnes and noble and then dies(?) after liking a book too much.

realtor gets eaten by the backrooms twice. it's a terrible shame.

both me and this weird goth dude have an unsatisfying italy vacation

guy who turns people's bones gets a new job where he continues to turn people's bones.

man who should never be allowed to build prisons builds a prison.

Something Big Is In The Water.

what if u heard me about 15 feet behind you fumbling around and calling out ur name 😳 (and we were both prison guards)

i'm going to be honest i didn't retain anything from this episode except that this guy has the silliest old man voice ever

everybody hates the tax man, including these creepy taxidermy animals

hmmgh. ant house.

so turns out being only 55% sure that vampires are real in my career as a vampire hunter has had some consequences.

the only thing keeping you company in space is your abandonment issues

🎶 the snack that smiles back 🎶 (my husband!)

maybe the real treasure was the house siblings we encased in spider web along the way.

your dead brother wrote books about ancient myths and WHAT

Part 2

[tinytennisskirt]

I keep thinking about halloween and I know it's far away but my mind keeps wandering to boyfriend vampire art headcanons or a small blurb about you wanting him sucking your blood for the first time after you begged him to do it (you want to see what it was like) and he was so soft about it "Idk if it's a good idea, I don't wanna hurt you :(" if you wanna write something about that it would be sweet don't feel forced to

vampire boyfriend! art donaldson headcanons with a plot. mostly plot. 🧛🏻

this idea is so cute i did not do it justice but i liked it a lottt

warnings: all over the place, i wrote this while running errands teehee. mentions of blood, scratching, teeth!!! cute vampire boyfriend but a lot of nonsensical vampire stuff idk. SMUT.

MDNI 18+

- he’s so cute he’s so cute! and it’s not sooo bad the age difference. he wasn’t bitten until recently so now your favourite stanford tennis player to watch between classes when you’re bored is just a little bit paler…

- with all my love for twilight i really want to let this boy sparkle because he deserves it, but i’m going to say he’s a day-walking vampire with no sparkle just to keep appearances up.

- vampire art who can hear your heart beat just a little harder than usual when you first walk up to him. you’re pretty, he notes, too pretty. if his heart could still beat the way it used to, it would have been pounding. it’s not an off chance the two of you are finally meeting, but it feels meetcute. nervous laughter at your immediate mutual attraction fills the air. he leans against the wall behind him and you get to talking, really talking.

you start walking down the path behind the courts together. “i’m not a tennis person, but i come here between classes.”

“that’s fair. what are you in?” art asks. he wants to know everything about you.

“media stuff, boring.” you tell him. but he tells you it’s not and he has a lot to ask you about it. you get into other things. movies, music, things he likes, things you like in common. there’s so much.

- you make him forget what he is. for the most part, he hates what he is now. hates how tired it makes him look. he hates having to hide his extra strength in tennis. and now he’s met you, this delicate girl who wouldn’t be so delicate if he wasn’t who he was now. you’re gorgeous and you’re funny and he’s laughing and it slips his mind that touching you is dangerous. you have that same blood running through your veins that he is so hungry for at the end of a day.

- you ask if he wants to get coffee. he’ll be sick if he eats food like yours, but he agrees. he doesn’t know why he can’t say no to you. suddenly your number is in his phone and you have plans to meet tomorrow afternoon.

- vampire art drinks the blood of animals. he hates himself for it. he hates all of it but it’s the only way to get by now without hurting anyone. he tries to be ethical about it, tries to make it so he doesn’t feel like an animal himself, but it’s hard and it’s messy and the bathroom in his dorm is not a good place for it.

- he sits on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands just thinking about you. it’s not a vampire brood but it’s his own version, thinking about you and your conversation from earlier. he’s so into you. it’s bad. how is he going to date someone so human now? he can be friends with any human, he was one not too long ago, but to date you? fuck, it’s going to be rough. and hard to do. that is, if you let him date you. part of him hopes that after coffee, you’ll lose interest and he won’t have to worry about it.

- he orders a coffee and thank god it has a lid, he can pretend to drink it. it feels silly. you’re sitting across from him and your perfume is all you are. it’s all he can smell. it’s beautiful, smells expensive but he knows it’s just his senses making it smell stronger. you get to talking and he’s a good listener. he’s honed in on hearing you and only you, your words and your heartbeat.

you’re swirling the ice around in your drink. your heart is beating hard in your chest. it’s cute. “i actually texted the wrong number.” art admit to you. “i used a four instead of eight.”

“oh no,” you cover your smile when you laugh. he hates that. you’re too pretty to be doing that.

he smiles sheepishly, “so i said hi to some guy named mark. friendly guy, just… not you.”

“poor guy.” you grin. “missing out. should have invited him anyway.”

“should i have?” he laughs. “you’d be okay with third-wheeling?”

he makes you smile. it’s one of his great accomplishments. “i think i’d be okay.”

- he’s thinking about how he could ever kiss you, his mouth so close to you. it’s not like he had fangs or anything- he got away with slightly pointy canine teeth, nothing out of the regular, but how could he… he’s a little scared of it. and how badly he wants to.

- he takes in and remembers all of your interests, often making callbacks and you like how much he remembers the little things.

- you end up spending the afternoon with him. without anything to eat all day he’s getting hungry and it’s not a good thing. it starts making people feel like good options- an uncontrollable thought to his mind that wants absolutely nothing to do with what the machine that is vampirism tells him he wants. you two walk through the park and dusk and he’s trying not to smell you so much anymore because you just smell good. and it’s disgusting how he feels about doing something so vile to someone who doesn’t know anything.

- nothing scares you away. he walks you back to your dorm. he puts away his thoughts of blood to say goodnight properly- you deserved that. you thank him for paying for coffee and for the afternoon spent with you and you’d think he’d see it coming with the acceleration of your heart, but you kissed him goodnight. a firm, few second-long kiss. and it’s fucking perfect. and it’s sweet. and he finds himself not so worried about it- it wasn’t bad. maybe he could date you if he could kiss you. put the fact you’d become food out of his mind…

- so you do date. or go on more dates. getting friendlier, laughing over stupid things, watching him play tennis, you’re around and you’re this perfect beam of light. he really likes you. like really likes you.

- he kisses you again. this time it’s his doing, he’s practiced being gentle. he used to be gentle. he pulls you in with soft, almost perfect skin, and he’s cold. not ice cold, but cold like a person who had spent too much time in a basement, just a little chilled. but his hands barely touch your skin, he’s maybe too gentle, but the kiss is perfect.

- thing is, you ask him what you are. where this is going and if his mouth could go dry, his would. he’s shy about it. he doesn’t want to get into this but he doesn’t want out. he wants you. and after all he’s been through so far, he deserves to be happy and have something good and he’s sure that’s you. so he asks you what you want.

“i would like it if we… continued to date. i don’t know how you feel about dating, but me, personally… i would want a label.” you say, shy, like you’re afraid he’s going to reject you after all this. he’s not a player, he can’t afford to be.

“i want that too.” he smiles. “i’m not a casual… person.”

“me neither.” you smile back. you’re blushing and you’re so pretty. so it’s decided. you don’t even know you have yourself a vampire boyfriend!!!

- tennis player boyfriend is already one thing. he’s in your dorm room before games realizing he has to go, he has to go, he’s late for practice. he’s fast, so he’s not so worried, but you are. you’re worried for him. you’re kissing him all the way to the door and he’s grinning as you practically kick him out. he stays just an extra second to kiss you more. he’s getting better and better at being gentle. it’s easier when he’s well-fed.

- art is still art so he’s needy. he’s addicted to the way you smell, he’s addicted to how warm you are. he comes right back over after practice, still feeling chilled like he’s straight out of a walk-in fridge and he’s immediately on top of you, head laying on your chest while you stroke his hair. he wishes more than anything for the peace of falling asleep in your arms, it’s his favourite place to be. but he’s not so lucky.

- not eating gets harder to hide from you. you’re his girlfriend, you want dinner and how is he just going to sit with you and not eat? it’s a girls worst nightmare to eat alone. he knows that, you tell him that and you’re kissing his face and he’s apologizing for not eating with you, big grin on his face because it’s hard not to when you’re kissing his cheeks and eyes and nose and lips. it’s the first time he debates telling you what he is. but he won’t. not yet. you’re too busy complaining sweetly about him not eating with you.

“art, please, come on. i hate this.”

“im not judging you,” he laughs. “eat your food.”

“alone? so mean.”

“i’m not-“ you kiss him, “-mean. i just had food before you came over, that’s not-“ you kiss him again and he pushes you away gently, “-mean.”

“it’s so mean,” you tell him. he just laughs.

- when he kisses you, it’s almost like he’s both afraid to let go and afraid to keep you close, so it ends up a little more desperate and needy than a regular kiss would be. you’re a fan of it though, it makes your heart pound in your chest when he pulls you in by your waist, cold hands on your skin. you swear he needs his circulation checked. he kisses you, hand trailing up from your waist to the side of your jaw, gently holding you in place. his kiss over time becomes less gentle and for the sake of what his diet was, i won’t say he kissed hungrily. you kissed him back just the same, hands in his perfect blonde curls, pulling him from the entryway of your dorm room and over to your bed, the door shutting behind him. he crawls over your body and suddenly the kiss is deeper. more. and he’s been in this situation before but never like this. you’re kissing and you start kissing down his jaw, his neck. and in obscure vampire logic, he’s able to reproduce- let’s not get into the details, even stephanie meyer couldn’t explain it right- but he’s hard and he hates it because he can’t fuck you. he’d probably hurt you. it already took some effort to kiss you, fucking you was different. how did he know that what he needed now to get off wouldn’t hurt you? you’re hot, your skin is hot, and you tell him you want him and he wants you just as badly, just as desperately, but he tells you not today, but does ask if you’d take off your shorts for him. cold fingers do their work and he’s so fast… his fingers move so fast it’s almost unreal.

- you’re on the phone with your girlfriend talking about how good he is with his hands, saying you had to call her to ask if she got home from a concert okay. he doesn’t mind the lie- you’re excited about him and he loves it. he’s a little bit proud of himself if he’s honest. he’s glad he can please you without doing it all. it’s cute you called your friend. he chuckles to himself.

- like mentioned before, he almost forgets he’s not who he used to be. you don’t mind that he’s cold or that he never eats with you, you hold him just the same. you fall asleep and he wishes with all his might that he could sleep too. but he’s awake without rest, eyes closed, hands gently tracing over the skin of your upper arm. when you’re asleep is when he gets to think critically about this- about how he’s not going to age as you do. if you choose to stay with him past college, that is. he’s a needy little romantic and he doesn’t want anything else but that. he’s committed.

- he’s debating telling you around halloween. cliche, fucking perfect, but he can’t hide it forever. you’ve been together four months. doesn’t seem like much, but you’re so skeptical sometimes he swears you see through him.

- he’s sweet, pays for things, takes you places, treats you so well. but there’s something he’s keeping from you and you can feel it.

- it goes on. he’s still your perfect boyfriend it’s october 24th, his head is in your lap, your fingers in his hair and he says it straight up. tells you. what and who he is.

“for halloween?” you smile. he shakes his head no. “you have the perfect teeth for it, you wouldn’t even need to buy them.”

“y/n…” he trails, eyes meeting yours, looking up at you.

“i could be one too.” you’re still smiling. “could be hot. let you bite me.” as if he hasn’t thought about that. potentials. but you don’t mean it.

he doesn’t know how to say it. so he just looks at you. soft eyes, begging you to believe him. but so scared that you’ll think he’s crazy or worse, be scared if you do believe him.

- for the sake of writing and for my ease let’s just say it’s believable. so you’re a little taken aback. lose the logic here, it’s an AU. your breath catches just a little. he’s afraid you’re going to run or scream or something, the way your heart picks up. he sits up from your lap, he’s looking at you, you’re breathing a little weirdly.

“i’m sorry.” he says. he’s sorry. he’s really sorry. you’re shrinking away from him and if his heart could, it would feel like it just tightened as if it was vacuum sealed. “i’m sorry, i should have told you.”

“it’s okay,” you nod. your heart is pounding, he deducts it’s not so okay. “are you- how do you- why- how?”

“bitten. late after a game. stupid, changed my life, i don’t even- it’s hard.”

“you don’t look like you’re-“

“it’s not like the movies, i’m me just… different diet and… pale.” he’s trying to be straightforward with you but it’s hard when all he wants is for this to pass over. and it’s not easy. it won’t just pass over. you have a million questions about everything and he confesses the entire truth. he hates it. he hates every second of admitting who he is. you’ve asked the same question about four times over and your heart hasn’t stopped pounding.

- art isn’t a bad guy. he’s not going to sit there and expect you to just go with it. he looks at you with his eyes soft and understanding, “i know it’s not what you wanted. or expected. i want you to know that if you leave, i understand. i like you, i really fucking like you and i want you to have what’s best and if that’s not me, that’s the easiest thing in the world to understand.” and you blink. you like him a lot. he makes you laugh, he makes you smile, but he’s something else. something potentially dangerous. you smile at him and it’s bittersweet. you tell him you need time. and he understands. he doesn’t ask you to stay, he grabs your bag and your sweater for you and you say you’ll talk to him soon. it’s with a heavy heart that he says goodbye to you. he knows the chances of you coming back are slim. you didn’t run from his dorm, but your pace wasn’t slow.

- he wished he could sleep this off. this feeling. he wished he hadn’t said anything but on the other hand, it wasn’t fair to you to pretend he was something he wasn’t so you’d stay. he wanted good things for you. and it was completely fair that you walked away. he thinks about you day in, day out, during tennis, during classes. but he’s got forever to find someone else, he just has to let this pass over him.

- you text him, say you’re coming over. and he’s at the door before you even knock, he heard you coming. “i’m sorry- i just-“ he’s excited but he’s afraid. too excited to see you back here- why are you there? “hi.” he’s so cute, standing in his doorway. he’s wondering if it’s wrong to think of you the way he did two weeks ago. he wasn’t clear on if you’d broken up with him or not.

“hi,” you reply. “can i come in?”

he’s nodding, moving out of the way for you to come in. you sit on his bed. “i didn’t expect you to-“

“come back? neither did i…” you replied. “but i was so… empty, i just- i miss you more than i seem to care about what- who you are. and it’s been killing me.” you admit, almost a little whiny and he’s glad to hear it. “i missed you.”

“i missed you too,” he says, shutting his door behind him. “a lot.”

you tuck your hair behind your ears, “i know everything, i just… how much does this affect everything?”

“only as much as you let it,” he says candidly. “i don’t eat regular food and i can’t have children.”

“what about garlic?” you almost smiled. he missed that. god, he missed you. so fucking much.

“i can have garlic.” he chuckled, stepping closer to where you were sitting. you pat the space beside you and he sat down next to you, thigh to thigh. “i don’t want to scare you.” he says. “i don’t want to hurt you. and i don’t want to leave you.”

“i don’t want that either,” you nod, eyebrows furrowed. “if i stay- am i in danger?”

“i wouldn’t ever hurt you.” he nods back. “it’s animals only. only. strictly. and i brush my teeth fourteen times after.”

“okay.” you reply. “art, i want you. you.”

“i’m not going anywhere.”

“i’m sorry about the two weeks-“

“don’t be.”

“i really am, i just needed-“

“it’s okay.”

“i was trying to wrap my head around-“ he kissed you to shut you up. he was so glad for it. so glad you kissed him back, it was all he thought about when the nights were empty and quiet. you, how warm you were, how good you smelled.

- vampire boyfriend!!!! it’s almost ignorable. you have a reason why he doesn’t eat with you, you know why he’s cold, it’s more reason to keep your arms around him. you can’t brag about it, but it’s a fun little secret so it’s sooo worth it. and it’s hot. you don’t want to admit it, but it’s hot. you’d always admired how sharp his teeth were, it was cute, like a cat. but he had a reason for it and you were finding it hot. your search history was

biting kink

blood kink

vampire smut

that isn’t you!!! but you were curious that’s all. And you like his teeth a lot.

- he’s so pretty and he’s so skilled in making you feel good. he won’t let you do anything to him, swears to god the best thing for him is what he can do for you. you’re making out and his hand slips between your legs, down your underwear, they’re cold but they don’t feel that way after a while. he’s fast, it feels like some sort of toy, it’s too good. you are forever glad you didn’t walk away and never return. you’d miss the proud smile on his face when he makes you finish three times in a night.

- it takes a while for art to do the simple task of kissing your neck. it’s not so simple, it scares him still. but the thing is, the moment his lips are on your jaw, your whole body has goosebumps and you don’t expect it to feel as good as it does. maybe you spent too much time on the internet, maybe you were developing some sort of feeling about it. he kissed gently, close-mouthed down your neck, feeling your body tense and your heart beat hard and fast in your chest. he hasn’t done anything else, he’s only kissing your neck, but what you’re into is a major turn on for him, so he continues. he likes nothing more than it as he continues.

- it gets worse. you’re together almost a year now and it’s going so well but if art touches your neck whatsoever, you’re making out against some wall in some cupboard and you’re begging him to fuck you.

“please, please, please,” you’re on top of him in your dorm room and he’s saying no, but he doesn’t want to. it’s not like your begging is a pressure on him, believe it, he wants you so fucking badly.

“i want you so badly, i can’t- i could hurt you.”

“what if i like it?” you whisper between kisses. your hand down the front of his pants, he’s groaning into your mouth, he doesn’t usually let you do what you want but it’s getting harder and harder to not.

“like it?”

“i want it.” you tell him. “please.”

“i can’t-“ he’s raising his hips to meet your hand as you move it up and down his length. “i want to, i really fucking want to, more than anything, but i can’t. i don’t- i haven’t-“

“we can go slow. i’ll go slow, let me do the work, please?”

he wants it. the imagery in his mind is already killing him. “i promised to be gentle, i could grab you too hard or i could bite, i don’t know what i’ll do, i don’t trust myself.”

“you bite?” you giggled a little, as if the idea wasn’t a little intriguing. as if it wasn’t hot.

he grinned back, kissing you again, “i’m not sure.”

“you don’t… touch… yourself?”

“no, i do, believe me, i do, but it’s different, i can’t hurt myself- fuck-“ he’s trying to get his words out but your hand is good. your hand is perfect. “i could hurt you.”

“what if i want that?”

“me to hurt you?”

“what if i don’t mind it? i don’t mind bruises, art, just don’t break my bones.”

“i wouldn’t- i don’t know if i would or not, that’s what i’m afraid of.”

“and everything you’ve been afraid of,” you pick up the pace of which you stroke him. “has it turned out okay?”

he groans into your open mouth, nodding slightly, soft eyes meeting yours. “mhm.”

“mhm.” you nod back. “you can hurt me, art.” he moans louder. loudest. “i can take it.”

- another few months go by without. he’s taken to letting you grind on him. it’s practice, he says, but really he just finds it hot. you, your little skirts, making it fun for him. but you can’t stop thinking about you fucking him and frankly neither can he. the romance continues.

- he brings you roses on a whim. it’s cute. he knows you like them. he gets the dark red ones for you.

- he’s fast, he can be to McDonalds and back in only a few minutes depending on the speed they make their food. you call him, you mention it once and he brings it to you. and every time, sweet boy, he apologizes for not being able to eat with you.

- he’s so into you. this is it for him, he’s sure. you’re the perfect mix of everything and you share so many interests. you’re kind and sweet and funny and you get him. and understand him entirely. he could not care less when other girls talk to him. usually the first words he says to anyone is something casual about his girlfriend. ‘sorry i’m late, i was at my girlfriend’s debate’, and other things of the sort. he’s cute like that, but annoying to a few other people.

- loses his mind if you hold his face in any way, it’s actually one of the things that makes him think fucking you might be something he could do. you cup his face and he looks at you with those puppy eyes and your thumb grazes over his lower lip and he’s kissing you like he’s not scared. you’re in his arms, he picks you up, crawls over you on the bed. his first instinct is to kiss your neck to drive you as crazy as he is and it’s only a matter of time before you’re begging him again.

“please, art.”

“i want you so fucking badly,” he mumbles, cold hands desperate over the skin of your waist. “i do, i’m sorry.”

“don’t be sorry. fuck me.”

“i can’t. you know i can’t-“ but your hand down his pants is wearing him down already.

“it’s been more than a year. art, it’s okay. it’s no different than grinding.”

“it’s different,” he tells you, he’d be blushing if he could. “come on.”

“come on what?” you grin, stroking him harder. his breath catches for a moment, but he grins back at you. “art. it’s okay. you don’t need to be so afraid, i promise i can take it.”

“and what if you can’t?”

“then we tried.”

“you won’t say that if i hurt you.”

“if you hurt me it’ll be my own fault.” you tell him sternly. “i’ll be in control, i’ll go my own pace, you just lay back, it’ll be good. i promise, you don’t need to be afraid.”

“baby…” his hands on your waist.

“let me.” you say. “with your consent.”

“i said i wouldn’t hurt you… there’s no guarantee-“

“it’s no different than the grinding. i promise.” you begin to slide your shorts off, eyes locking with his. “if not, that’s okay, but i just- i know you won’t hurt me.”

“if i do?”

“i’ll take it.” you tell him. he’s consumed by his own lust. his worries slowly fading out. “let me fuck you, mhm?”

his pants at his ankles, he’s turning slowly onto his back. you climb over him, kissing him hard. the sharp of his tooth grazes your lip and the violence begins. he groans as your hand slides over his own neck, kissing him.

“slow,” he says. and you nod, slowing the way you’re kissing, your hand moving to cup his face in a kiss. you’re everything, how can he resist what he wants so badly? you’re perfect and you smell good and you’re kissing him sickeningly slow and it’s almost sweet. “please.”

“you’re saying yes?”

“yes.” he swallows hard.

“i didn’t pressure you?”

“no, i want it so fucking badly, you have no idea,” he smiles, kissing you again. there’s no escape. “i want you. just… slowly.” he pushes your hair behind his ear. “you’ll tell me if i’m hurting you.”

“maybe,” you grin.

“hey-“

“i will.” you nod. “can i?”

“slowly.”

you looked at him, nodding slowly again, reaching down under him. he was trusting you, he was holding you to this. the tip of his dick slipping against your entrance. it was unreal, it was real, it was cold but it wouldn’t be for long. he inhaled sharply and you kissed you. he was a little pathetic, the way he acted as you slowly, extremely slowly, sank down on him. it was ends meeting, it was waited for. the sound he made was one he didn’t think he’d make, but you were all he’d been wanting. he could have finished right there and then, just at the feeling of you. warm, tight.

- vampire art, with vampiric tendencies, digs his fingers so hard into you that you were sure it would bruise. it hurt in the best way. you moved slowly, up and down, a pace that didn’t scare him. he felt so good, so perfect.

- he’s surprisingly melting under your touch as you slowly ride him. it’s how he is. somewhere towing the line between himself a little bit submissive. he’s letting you, he’s trying to be unafraid, letting himself get lost in how you feel. you’re close, neck kissing distance. his hand slips around the back of your neck and he kissed the exposed skin. you moaned, going slightly faster and he braced your hips, wary. too wary. but he let you continue to rock.

- he controls your hips, rocking you back and forth a little more as he gets a little less scared. and he’s kissing your neck, moaning against it. open mouth, sharp teeth grazing your neck and he isn’t even aware of it. it hurts, its natural, he’s hurting you but it’s not as bad as you thought. his lips send goosebumps over your skin, he’s not aware, he’s lost in the way you’re fucking him. he’s letting you go faster, harder, you’re both moaning. he’s close already. you don’t mind that at all.

- vampire art, poor boy, he’s coming undone already. it’s a little pathetic but in the best way. hes being fucked so good, the way he’s imagined the past year- he’s not aware of his teeth and the reality that he could bite you is too real, when it was only half a joke. he could bite you, he could, he wants to, you want him to, it hurts.

- “please,” you mumble, and he’s suddenly too aware of what he’s been doing and he’s suddenly terrified. he doesn’t want to hurt you, he’s been doing it unconsciously.

“oh fuck-“ he tries to pull away, but it’s his downfall, he finishes hard, too fucking hard and he’s pathetic, melting under you, moaning and grabbing you so hard it hurts and you’re close to follow suit, your hand down between the two of you working your clit. your hand moves at his squirming and you forfeit your orgasm as he finishes so pretty. he makes the prettiest sounds, loud and the people in the dorm next to yours must fucking hate you. he was breathing hard, his lips pink, still in a state of desperation. “no- nonononono,”

you slowed to an immediate stop for him. “hey, what’s wrong?”

“your neck, my teeth, fuck- i’m sorry,” his chest still rose and fell, his cum leaking from between you both. “i’m so sorry-i-“ nervous boy. nervous vampire boyfriend!!!

- he takes to your comfort the moment you grab his face and tell him it’s fine. you like it. you want it. his scared eyes soften out again. if that was all the damage done, no blood drawn, it was successful. you liked it. it was more than good. so fucking good.

- you take care of him until he calms down entirely. you soothe him by holding him close, a wet cloth against the scratches on your neck. he’s the kind to apologize softly. he’s always apologetic, he’s good at it. you kiss his temple, stroke through his curls. you can go without finishing. the ratio of his orgasms to yours were uncountably inbalanced.

- after that you end up practicing more. calling it ‘practice’, it’s just sex. it’s good sex. he worships you like you’re the immortal being. he learns to be gentle. doesn’t help that don’t want him to be. it’s another year of being together and you throw it at him. “bite me.”

“hm?” he looks up from tying his laces, his hat on backwards, all cute.

“bite me.” you stand above him, he rises to his feet, arms wrapping gently around your waist. “it’s been two years and i’m not going anywhere. i want you to do it.”

“you don’t want it.” he tells you, swaying into the hug. “i promise.”

“i know. but it’s my choice.”

“it is your choice but it’s also mine if i choose to bite you. i want you and i know you’re not going anywhere, i dont need to make you the way i am just to say that.”

you shake your head, “bite me. or no sex.”

he just grins and shakes his head, “nice try.”

“think about it.”

he nods again, “okay. i will. i promise.”

- it’s another year before it happens. vampire boyfriend is scared of doing it, what if something goes wrong? what if you hate him for it? what if, what if… you make him nervous. you want him, he knows it. more ways than one it would be nice to not have to worry about biting you when you fuck.

- he works up the courage to take the risk and he comes to yours around 11:30pm. you’re up, you were just finishing an assignment. you greet him with a kiss and a long hug. he needs it. he’s never not in need of it. he wants to cry, he wishes he still could. he feels like it because he knows what you want isn’t good but you want it and he wants you do some part of it feels right. and okay. he tells you what he’s thinking and you take all of it in. but you nod.

“i don’t want to hurt you.” he says.

“it’s going to hurt. i’ve told you before i can take it.”

he shakes his head, “and what if i can’t?”

“i’ll heal.”

“baby… “ he almost sits at your feet the way he’s talking to you.

“it’ll be okay. you can hurt me. it’ll be worth it when you’re stuck with me forever.” you smile and he smiles back.

- he can do it. and you kiss him. which is the first step. the second is triggering his weakness, cupping his face. and suddenly he’s on you. and you’re undressing and it’s messy and it’s harsh and it’s sloppy.

- art is usually very sexually calculated he knows what is needed and he does it and he’s fucking perfect at it, but this is messy and desperate and hot and not even he wants to have any sort of control. he just knows what’s going to happen is going to happen. you’ve never been more turned on with anticipation. for the first time- even though it sounds bad, art is on top. he doesn’t need you in control at the moment, he’s fucking into you and it’s hard but not too hard that it could cause harm- it’s good. and it’s got, and you’re kissing him through harsh, sharp breaths and there’s no time to be wasted. he’s ramming into you with a force you didn’t know he possessed that is also so contained. you wished it wasn’t. And his lips graze your neck. you moan, that familiar shiver of pleasure rippling over your body. his body, thrusting, the movement making for perfect friction. he kisses your neck gently, and you feel his teeth graze your neck.

- he’s fucking you but his emotions are strong and he’s rethinking but this is it. he said he would. his hand reaches down to play with your clit as he fucks you, his attention to three places at once is enough to drive you crazy. you’re waiting, skin hot against his, and you don’t expect to like the way it hurts so fucking badly when he sinks his teeth in. pain mixes with pleasure, sharp teeth in your skin. his lips catch any blood, taking it in. it’s good, it’s too good. he keeps his teeth in long enough for him to feel whatever it is that would change you seep into your bloodstream. you’re moaning when he expected a scream and it’s hot. it’s too hot for him. his teeth slowly come out and the wound heals over near-immediately, but it doesn’t stop him from kissing your neck again a million times, new scars instantly formed. you kiss him harder than you ever had, feeling your skin start to burn pleasantly, warm like the feel of being close to an oven on a cold day. and his hand working, his dick sliding in and out, you finish simultaneously, almost.

- he rides out the high. and before cleaning anything he’s checking if you’re okay. you’re blissed out. gone. and he’s watching as you grow paler the next few hours in his arms. you’re telling him he did such a good job. so good. and you fall asleep for the last time. changed.

[pinkpastels113]

Tell us how you feel about arcane. Use your emotion words! Use a visual aid if you must, too lol.

you want some visual aid? i'll give you some visual aid:

that describes perfectly ab how i am feeling rn

first of all the LESBIAN SEX SCENE????!! I-??!! i knew that something was bound to happen (esp after meljay and the rated for sex warning in season 2) and i celebrated when they (finally) kissed but oh my god?? an actual lesbian sex scene? in a prison?? in vi's sister's prison?? after a parallel about how cait is always finding her in a prison and expected her to be there?? (with dramatic music and banter and soft giggling and the ANGLES and HAND PLACEMENTS??) I AM NOT OKAY

just that scene alone is enough to nudge me off a cliff. but moving on

how is JAYVIK more homoerotic than now-100%-canon caitvi?? that's all i have to say. (what do you MEAN that love conquers all?? that he loved and admired viktor for all his imperfections and that was what made him special and beautiful?? GET OUTTA HERE)

i did not know that i needed timebomb until this season but HOLY FUCKING SHIT why must you make ekko fall (surprisingly, even to himself) in love with jinx/older powder and have that ripped away from him not like two days later?? WHYYYYY (the dance. the "can we pretend it's like the first time?" the "oh and he's got lines." the nervous wave after he fucked up in that scene with dead vi and powder was like hmp and he goes :(. the mural. im sent. im gone. nobody speak to me.)

ISHA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (she was just trying to be like jinx and copy everything that she does and is and looked up to her as a hero STOP WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME. also the song?? IM CHINESE BRO AND I WAS SOOOO EMOTIONAL OVER THE LYRICS like hit me where it fucking hurts why dont you)

i cried at how vander suffered a fate worse than death. @becasbelt can attest to that

caitlyn adfshjk i knew she would come around and she was and always has been my blorbo (even if she stayed evil) MWAH my female rage filled, slightly wild, grief clouded, confident, "im an excellent shot," sexy, " i am a decorated officer, leader of house kiramman, address me with respect, or keep your mouth shut." dictator, vampire, badass, mofo. YES

the way she said "no amount of good deeds can undo our crimes" hit me bc she's acknowledging that she went off the rails and did some pretty bad things to justify and achieve (which she didn't. not really) her goals

i LOVED jinx in this season. she single-handedly made it a comedy show and was the sole focus of a lot of the emotional damage the storytellers and animators wanted to convey

the way jesus came to be and then quickly became evil SDFHSDKJ i was legit like WEEO WEEO ABORT ABORT JESUS HAS TURNED EVIL (also want to point out the "no you wont" sky dialogue bc DAMN she really called you out huh viktor)

that alternate universe timebomb episode had me gasping so much (like SILCO?? WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?? WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?? what do you mean everyone is well and happy but at the cost of vi's death???) i think i had asthma for a split second there

MELLLL MY GODDESS MVP PLAYER you saved cait's ass so many times it's not even funny and ugh the way you finally stood up to your mom (very cleverly too, i might add) ugh i applaud

EKKO MY KINGGG the way he hurts himself so bad turning back time and specifically saving jinx from offing herself BYE

HEIMERDINGER MY TINY ANNOYING/affectionate FURBALL WHYY

no but yea i am ruined and my emotions have faded away into numbness and i hope this post was relatable to the people in the arcane fandom and i also agree that this season was way too condensed and rushed and the last episodes in particular needed at least a couple more to drag out the events and character development bc at times when i am supposed to be cheering i am crying and at times i am supposed to be crying i am screaming and at times i am supposed to be screaming i am Horny and at times i am supposed to be Horny my heart is wrenching but only a few tears slip out bc IT IS CUT TO THE NEXT SCENE AGAIN??? does that make sense??

(also do we think jinx is actually dead or no. im still not sure but obv i would hope/am hoping that she is lmao)

[docholligay]

Even if you haven't played it, I imagine you've absorbed some stuff about Baldur's Gate 3. What do you think about the companions, that you know of?

Oh boy am I about to disappoint you: I am the most out of the loop old lady lesbian you have ever met. A conversation between me and my wife like, oh, a month ago? six weeks?

(Context: My wife loves Pop Girlie Music)

Me: I heard this singer I think you'll really like! She's gay, but it's all very 80s flavored pop, and--

Her: Do you mean Chappell Roan?

Me: Yeah!

Her: Major pop star Chappell Roan? Have i heard of her?

Me: Well...I just heard her like yesterday, on tumblr, so.

I COULD NOT TELL YOU THE FIRST FUCKING THING ABOUT BALDUR'S GATE OTHER THAN IT IS A VIDEOD GAME. WHAT CONSOLE IS IT ON? WHAT GENRE IS IT? FUCK IF I KNOW, BABYGIRL.

Gun to my head, all I could tell you about Baldur's Gate 3 is, "Uh...presumably there is a third gate in Baldur? yeah? no?"

Let me try.

Companions, so those are characters. What characters have a seen lately on my dash, without looking?

Okay, so:

I think the gay elf girl is actually from an anime, so not her. Actually, I know she's from an anime, now that I think about it. The anime that already has the discourse that made me decide I won't watch it for a few years--fuck I should know the name of this if I'm gonna ban it from contention--Jetty will know--anyway, that gal is not from the video game.

Is the gay white haired vampire from Baldur's Gate? I get the sense that he is cunty and that's why I see so many little screenshots or whatever of him. I know people like that in a man. I guess I'm assuming he's gay, but given that I don't live on the Superwholock-esque side of tumblr, it's not all that common for me to see a man that isn't gay or Colombo.

The only other people I can think of from video games right now are those little lawyer motherfuckers y'all are in love with, Zelda, and that guy from Silent Hill.

I wanted this to be funny, but I don't even have the baseline knowledge to be wrong ahahahah. This is me walking down the street and going, "I will give you 50 dollars if you can name any country that fought in the Crimean War" (Someone: France and/or the UK me: That one's on me, I set the bar too low)

[fuutaprotectionsquad]

What scenes the Milgram instrumentals would be for if they were video game soundtracks.

Except I make an entire game layout with it, including three mini boss fights and a final boss. They're in order of when they appear in the game, and color coded based on the area.

This took so long why did i do this-

[If you want me to design these bosses based on like. mvs and the character designs. i will.]

Parasite - The music at the starting area, before you've began your expedition. Like the home village. Possibly shows up at the epilogue too, when you return to the village, if you enter certain buildings.

Tear Drop - The salon that acts as an equipment shop. Except the shop keep has intense lore. Is maybe evil. We dont know. It pops up all through the game, or theres a way to get back to it and its in a neutral area.

Delusion Tax - You begin your journey into the first area! It looks very rocky and lava filled, with the stone buildings melded with the rocky mountains.

I Love You - Investigation scene. For what, I have no idea. Probably something related to your mission. The beginning of ILY is like. you find something very shocking and kinda scary, but then the rest is like. you + ur group(?) using it as a cataylst to keep looking and journeying. (its giving danganronpa udg honestly)

[Possibly more Delusion Tax after]

Backdraft - The 1st mini boss fight. A very overconfident, fiery kind of boss, despite being the weakest. This is the first part of the fight, where you're chasing them while they effortlessly hop through/set off many traps you have to dodge.

Salamander - Second part of the 1st boss fight where the boss actually stops to fight you. They fight with fire (...wow who would have guessed)

Purge March - When you get to the second area, and you're. continuing with your journey. Or something idk. I'm thinking this area is circus themed. Many animals.

Vampire - You first meet the boss. You think they're just a friendly child. They're so cheery and happy and childish and innocent. And then 1:19 in Vampire, you realize they're a little fucked up. But thats okay, because they're just a kid and they could never hurt anyone-

INMF - Now they're trying to murder you, so you're running away as they chase you and throw shit at you. Like uh. A million gruesome ways to die from billie bust up.

[More Purge March]

Animal - The second boss fight, filled with many circus props used as weapons. The softer parts of the song are when you're fighting different animals this boss sends after you, like lions and other circus animals.

Android Girl - Adventuring theme for the 3rd area. This area has a glitchy, techy hallucination theme. Like the boss is hacking the area to make illusions. Everything looks very glitchy, and has a kinda cyberpunk city look.

MKDR (DSCF) - Some part of the journey through the 3rd area where you've been completely absorbed into a hallucination, likely before you know that there are hallucinations here. When this happens it becomes a lot less glitchy looking and more real.

[Android Girl part 2]

Reversible Campaign - Phase one of the 3rd mini boss fight. They have a very techy theme. Like ig spamton.

Double - Phase two of the 3rd mini boss. You've pissed them off now, and theyve switched forms. The parts of the song that are softer (when mikoto's singing) are when you're deep in a hallucination. Then when you break free, it goes back to the glitchy harsh vibe.

Neo-Neon - You've defeated the three mini bosses and are filled with a newfound sense of determination. Now you go through the final area (likely a castle?) to get to the final boss. This area is a lot shorter.

Deep Cover - The final boss fight begins ! This is the first phase, which is very long distance and not quite near the boss yet. I imagine this one has a very celestial, crystal / star theme.

Streaming Heart - You weaken the boss via long distance, and they become more enraged. They haven't given up though, and fight with even more determination. This is where you can finally get face to face with them and have an all out battle.

AKAA - This is where their tough exterior cracks. You have a brief conversation, in an attempt to persuade them to stand down. But they put the broken pieces of their form together, for one last stand.

Cat - You've defeated the boss!! Roll end credits. Yeah thats it cat's just end credits. I. could not think of anything else </3

Triage - Epilogue after the boss fight when you're talking with everyone. Everything is happy and good, but there's also those very sentimental convo scenes.

[Some Parasite sprinkled in]

[tobiasdrake]

Digimon Adventure 01x32 - Tokyo Tower is Hot! DeathMeramon / Gatomon Comes Calling

Previously on Digimon Adventure: FUCKING. CATS. Why are you like this?

The Eighth Digivice is still out in the wild, last seen in possession of a crow. But now that it's been spotted, Vamdemon has left Hikarigaoka and is zeroing in on Odaiba Shibaura. The home of the Eighth Child has been found!?

Ooh, I've been waiting for this. Vamdemon's first night in Tokyo, getting his Dracula on. I vaguely remember this scene and have been looking forward to revisiting it.

We open on a slow build-up of a young woman walking alone at night. Vamdemon's carriage pulls up and he steps out to meet her. The woman, in a dreamlike state, leans up to kiss him.

Vamdemon sinks his fangs into her neck instead, drinking her blood. When he's finished, she falls limp to the ground. Vamdemon gets back in his carriage and departs, leaving his victim lying in the road with two visible fang marks in her neck.

This entire scene plays out with no dialogue and only a quiet, haunting melody for background music. The dub, as usual, adds dialogue. Myotismon greets us with a monologue.

Myotismon: Ahh, darkness. The perfect cloak for my evil. Ideal conditions for producing fear. Human blood always tastes better with a dash of fear in it. Woman: (stops walking and gasps) What is that? A carriage?

Once Myotismon arrives, they stop talking in words though there's still vocalized utterances, including a lot of ominous mouth-breathing from Myotismon. They do learn in hard on the "Woman and Myotismon are about to kiss PSYCHE HE'S A VAMPIRE" bit, playing this cute little romantic ditty over their initial embrace before the fangs come out.

Then they have the woman making muffled screams while he's drinking her blood. Oddly, they censor out the shot of the woman crumpling to the ground when he's finished, but they leave in the closeup of her lying on the road with fang marks in her neck.

They do, however, add in some audible groaning from the woman so you know she's okay. Don't worry, American kiddos; Myotismon did not kill a woman. She's gonna be fine.

We're going to hear about this again later on. Place your bets now if you think they censored out a corpse.

From here, we join PicoDevimon, waiting on a boat for Vamdemon's arrival and wondering aloud what could be keeping him.

I have some guesses.

PicoDevimon: He's late. What could be keeping him? Eh? (Vamdemon's carriage rolls up) PicoDevimon: Vamdemon-sama! Hurry!

The carriage door opens, and another woman flops out the door so abruptly that it's practically comical.

PicoDevimon does not enter the carriage but instead flies up to the window to speak with Vamdemon.

PicoDevimon: The dawn will be here soon! Vamdemon: No need to rush. Now that I know the Chosen Children are here, I must store up enough energy to fight them in this world. PicoDevimon: But if you're too reckless-- Vamdemon: No matter. This world will belong to me in the end.

Once that's settled, Vamdemon's carriage levitates into the air, settling down onto the waiting boat.

The woman from inside the carriage has mysteriously vanished due to a continuity error in the animation. So either she crawled away to safety or she disintegrated into pixel dust.

In the dub, DemiDevimon's getting frustrated.

DemiDevimon: I hate this fog! Master, where are you!? I'm getting mildew on my wings! ...Aha! (Myotismon's carriage rolls up) DemiDevimon: Finally! Sheesh, you couldn't take a cab like everyone else!?

They censor out the woman flopping out of the carriage. This censoring ironically makes the animation flow more smoothly, at the cost of the near-comical realization that Myotismon's been binge-drinking all night.

DemiDevimon: At last! I was starting to worry! Myotismon: Calm down. I went out to have a bite to eat and to get familiar with the city. It is always so difficult to get a good meal when one is away from home. DemiDevimon: You're right! So what do we do next, boss? Myotismon: We are continuing the search for the Eighth Child. The details are of no concern to you! DemiDevimon: Well, as I always say, uh, whatever you say!

The dub drops the context both that we're near dawn and that's why PicoDevimon's worried and also that Vamdemon's hunting has a purpose. Drinking those women is how he's accumulating power for his next confrontation with the Chosen Children. The dub plays it like Myotismon's just hungry, and also he only drank one.

However, I do like how wickedly he describes attacking that woman. Solid vampire-ing right there.

The dub inserts their first commercial break here, separating out Vamdemon's cold open from the start of the episode proper. Good spot for it.

The following morning, Taichi attempts to rifle through his and Hikari's belongings.

It does not go well. The crashing sound from everything in their room exploding at the speed of mistakes brings Hikari in. Also the sound of Taichi screaming in pain and surprise.

Hikari: What are you doing? Taichi: I'm looking for my phone book. The one from first grade. Agumon: Yeah, his phone book. Hikari: Phone book?

Agumon seems to have recovered enough to regain Child-stage last night.

Realizing their mother is out in the kitchen, Hikari steps into the room and shuts the door behind her.

Out in the kitchen, Yuuko's washing dishes while listening to the news for background noise. Staticky amateur footage of Raremon emerging from the bay plays on the TV.

Anchor: Viewers are advised to take caution against the possibility that more of these mysterious creatures could emerge in the future. In other news, two young women from the Nerima and Itabashi districts were found collapsed in the streets last night. They were taken to the hospital to be treated for anemia.

Yeah, the dub got that one right! The women aren't dead. If you wagered that they were then you owe the Americans a cookie.

Incidentally, identifying that second woman as being in Itabashi tells us exactly what route Vamdemon's taking to Shibaura. The floppy woman is a map marker. Here, I've drawn a red circle around Odaiba and a green circle around Shibaura.

Nerima, which is where Hikarigaoka was situated, is in the top left corner of the map here. Itabashi is east-northeast of it. On the other side of Itabashi is the Sumida River, which will take him all the way down to Tokyo Bay. Not the big river but that smaller squiggly one next to it that exits out right in front of Shibaura.

But, in any case, with the boat trucking along while Vamdemon takes shelter from the sun, he'll be in Shibaura well before the next sunset.

More maps to come as we follow the kids' and Digimon's trek through the city today.

While the news is talking about current events, the doorbell rings. Yuuko answers it, then comes back.

Yuuko: Taichi! It's Koushiro-kun! Taichi: Got it!

The dub gives Tai some extra dialogue while he's searching for the phone book.

Tai: Aw, c'mon! Where did I put that thing? (opens drawer) Junk. (opens another) Stuff. More junk. More stuff. Man, I was a messy kid. Can't believe how unorganized I was--AUGH!!! (catastrophe) Kari: (opens door) Whatcha doin'? Tai: Looking for my old phone book. It'll have exactly what I need. Agumon: And I'm helping! Kari: (comes in and closes the door) How come?

I like Tai's "Junk, stuff," exchange. Feels his age, right along with the "I was a messy kid!" from someone who is still a kid. He's getting to be that age where kids become impatient to be considered grown up.

Also, Agumon shouting "I'm helping!" while lying helpless under a pile of stuff got me. XD

Anchor: And now, today's top story: The monsters that are plaguing the city! Still no official comment on where the creatures are from or what they might be after. We will keep you updated throughout the day. Meanwhile, in other news, health officials report young women all over the city are being hospitalized for anemia. No word on whether the cases are connected but doctors are voicing concern that so many seemingly healthy young women are being struck down so suddenly. Yuuko: (checks the door) Tai, it's your friend Izzy! Tai: Coming!

Oh, so that's why Myotismon was late.

Vamdemon attacked two women on his way to Sumida River. Myotismon, I guess, went on a bender. This is even funnier when you remember that they cut the plot point of Vamdemon storing power to fight the Chosen Children. After declaring at the end of last episode that he's going to go deal with the DigiDestined himself, Myotismon then spent all of last night roaming the city randomly drinking women left and right for funsies.

DemiDevimon frantically pacing on the boat wondering where he is. And then Myotismon rolls up like, "Chill out, little bat dude. I had to get my thing on with the ladies, bruh."

Taichi very unsuspiciously smuggles Agumon past Yuuko's peripheral vision, and they head outside to see Koushiro.

Taichi: Yo. Koushiro: Good morning. Ah, Agumon! Agumon: I ate so much, I evolved. Tentomon: (approaches) Mornin'. Taichi: Tentomon! I almost didn't recognize you. Tentomon: Thank you, thank you.

Even the simple way everyone greets each other is dripping with personality.

Tentomon is still wearing his disguise from last episode. Fortunately, wearing a hat and cloak makes it impossible to tell that you're a ladybug monster. In fact, the hat is new, so that's even more disguise power.

This is the same energy as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles wearing trench coats to keep anyone from ID'ing them as turtle monsters. Some things are universal.

Taichi: It looks pretty good on you. Agumon: Eh... Taichi? Taichi: You want one too? Agumon: (nod) Mm...

This promises to be a disaster.

In the dub, that subtle parallel of greetings is gone.

Tai: Hey. Izzy: Hey, ready to go? Agumon, you Digivolved! Agumon: You bet I did! All I needed was a good meal. Tentomon: Psst! It's me! Tai: Tentomon! Nice disguise, dude! Tentomon: Thanks, Tai. I put it together myself. Tai: Wait 'til Mimi sees you. Agumon: I need one too. Tai: Yeah. Any ideas? Agumon: (nod) Mhm....

Tai is using Mimi as a cudgel to bash Tentomon's disguise passive-aggressively.

The Chosen Children all head to a nearby park to meet up, with varying degrees of disguise for their Partner Digimon. The award for best disguise goes to Mimi and Palmon.

Haha. Hahaha. Hahahahahahahahahaha.

It's kind of perfect because she looks like a young girl pushing her doll around in a baby stroller. That is a form of play that girls are encouraged to do under the rigid gender binary. Mimi Purity/Sincerity Tachikawa: Disguise sensei!?

On their way to the meetup, Koushiro and Taichi briefly discuss Taichi's failures.

Koushiro: Were you able to find the student phone book you had back in Hikarigaoka? Taichi: Uh... Well, y'know... Sora and I were in the same class, so.... Koushiro: (disappointed) You didn't find it, did you?

The children meet up in the park, and the narrator briefly explains the intent of this meeting.

Narrator: All of the Chosen Children were notified that the Eighth Child was spotted last night in Shibaura. Sora & Piyomon: (running to join the others) Good morning! Narrator: In order to discuss what to do about this turn of events, they decided to meet up.

No word as of yet about what happened when Taichi went bird-chasing. I guess by the time he made it out of the complex, the crow he was unknowingly chasing was long gone.

Note: Sora's "Good Morning" is distinct from Koushiro's earlier "Good Morning" in a key way. As Sora and Piyomon are running up, they call out, "Ohayou!" This is a casual way of saying "Good morning" to close friends and family.

What Koushiro said was "Ohayou gozaimasu." The addition of gozaimasu makes the phrase formal and respectful. He greets Taichi as if he were greeting a colleague in the workplace. Which is not a measure of their relationship but of Koushiro, as we spent last episode learning that he's talking like this to his parents too. This is how he is, and has been for as long as we've known him.

(But not as long as they have.)

Both of these greetings, meanwhile, are still more respectful than Taichi's "Yo."

Mimi arrives after Sora, pushing Palmon in her stroller.

Mimi: Palmon, you're heavy. Come out. Palmon: No! You said I have to stay in here, Mimi! Mimi: It's fine now!

Palmon was the one who told Patamon to say nothing when their train pulled into their stop too. Palmon takes this whole disguise thing very seriously.

The dub uses Tai again to snark at Agumon and Tentomon's bad disguises.

Tai: (sarcastic) Yeah, real inconspicuous!

I mean. It works. Nobody stops them to ask about the monsters. So don't knock it.

Izzy: So, Tai, did you find your address book from school? Tai: Oh! Uh... Well, Sora was in my class so I thought we'd just use hers. Izzy: (skeptical) Uh-huh. Couldn't find it, huh?

Izzy and Tai's brief discussion is a straight adaptation with no changes, and then we move on to the meeting. Tai has to fill in for the narrator.

Tai: Alright, listen up, everybody! I called you all here today because... Well... There was nothing good on TV! Matt: Ha ha. Very funny, Tai. Now where are the others? Sora: (runs up) Hey, wait! Don't start without me! (gasps for breath as she reaches the group) Good morning. Tentomon: Okay, so where's Mimi? Izzy: (dismissive) She's probably out buying clothes. Mimi: (pushing Palmon's stroller) Oh, get out and walk! You're too heavy to push! Palmon: Mimi, how's that going to look? I'm supposed to be a widdle baby. Mimi: You just grew up! Now get out!

Bit more context missing here. We lose the explanation that we're meeting up to take next steps now that we know the Eighth Child is in the area. Tai's remark is clearly not meant to be taken seriously; He's goofing off while they wait for the others. But it replaces the actual reason why they're meeting.

Also, (ugh), another sharp comment directed at Mimi for no reason. It's not even a laugh line like Tai's earlier Mimi barb at Tentomon was. Izzy's being pointlessly mean to fill silence. She shows up immediately after he says that.

The gang's all here, save for one conspicuous absence. Mimi, too, has brought her school phone book. You can't see it in this shot but even Takeru has one with him.

While they wait for Jou, the kids chat about what's happening.

Sora: This is turning into a mess, isn't it? Yamato: Ever since I woke up, it's all they've been reporting on TV. Taichi: It's weird, though. Agumon: What is? Taichi: When Agumon and I came back to this world earlier, the Digimon appeared. But back then, only Hikari and I could see them. Now everyone can see them and it's getting media attention. Izzy: It may be because they used Vamdemon's Gate to get here. Yamato: That must be it. If more Digimon use that Gate to enter our world.... Takeru: That would be terrible.

The group collectively imagines Seadramon, Shellmon, Vademon, Devimon, Kuwagamon, Ogremon, and Etemon all attacking the human world.

(In fairness to Seadramon, we started that shit. They were minding their own business when we set them on fire. They do not deserve to be lumped in with the rest of these assholes.)

Mimi: Oh no. Koushiro: That's a likely outcome. Taichi: Then we should hurry up and find the Eighth Child, so we can make sure that doesn't happen! And to save the Digimon World too! Sora: (momentarily taken aback by Taichi's enthusiasm) ...right! Koushiro: Let's do it. Yamato: Yeah. Jou: HEEEEEEEEEY!!!

We should probably also gank Vamdemon while we're at it. He's the lynchpin in the "Digimon coming through the Gate" threat. If he isn't there to unlock it then it can't open.

In the dub, Matt demonstrates that Izzy did not recap them about Raremon.

Sora: Hey, did you guys see it? It was all over the news on TV this morning. Matt: More and more of Myotismon's Digi-bozos are popping up in the city! Tai: And they're very real. Agumon: What do you mean? Tai: The last time we came back, there were Digimon all over the place like now. But only Kari and I could see them. Everyone else walked right by 'em as if they weren't even there. Now even normal people see them and they're on the news and everything. It's like they're really here this time. Izzy: Maybe it's because this time they came through the Gate that Myotismon made. Matt: I don't like it. If they can be seen then they're physically here, and if they're here physically, they can do a whole lot of damage. T.K.: Yeah, like what? (Imagine Spot of attacking evil Digimon and one unfairly maligned sea serpent) Matt: Do I really need to remind you what those evil Digimon are capable of!? Mimi: Creepy! Izzy: Complete systems failure. Tai: Agh, so what are we sitting around here for? We'd better get out there and find that eighth kid if we want to stop these guys. Save the Digi-World and we'll save our own! T.K.: Go Tai! Sora: Uh-huh. Matt: What's the plan? Izzy: Well I've got a theory-- Joe: STOOOOOOOP!!!

Man, Matt woke up on the Captain Obvious side of the bed today. Yes, Matt, we know that they can do damage if they're physically here. They've done a lot of fucking damage thus far. This replaced a salient point that more and more Digimon forces could be moved into the human world through the Gate, meaning the humans could be facing full-scale invasion if Vamdemon wins here.

Sora's momentary shocked Pikachu before hesitantly agreeing with Taichi gets drowned out by T.K. talking over it. It's easy to miss her quiet startlement.

That said, I do like how Tai gives his "It's like they're really here" explanation.

For reference again, the green circle is Shibaura, where Koushiro encountered Raremon last night. The red circle is Odaiba. Shibaura is directly across the bay from Odaiba, connected by the Rainbow Bridge - A huge double-decker suspension bridge allowing both vehicle traffic on one layer and rail transit on the other.

Jou sprints up, finally joining the group.

Jou: HEEEEEEEEEY!!! I had a hard time finding my old phone book! Taichi: Talk about killing the tension.

Now that Jou's here, we can talk about where we go from here.

Koushiro: The Eighth Child should have seen the Digimon with us during the incident in Hikarigaoka four years ago. Also important is the events in Shibaura last night. Mimi: Does that mean the child is living in Shibaura now? Yamato: They might have moved like we did. Koushiro: That's why I think we should split into groups and thoroughly search Shibaura. Yamato: Agreed. Mimi: It's a little hot, but that's fine by me. So what do we do with these phone books? Koushiro: There's a strong chance the Eighth Child is listed in one of them. We should call around and ask if anyone was in Shibaura last night. Jou: ...I start my summer classes tomorrow. I can make my phone calls, but I won't be able to go all the way out to Shibaura. Group: Eh!?!? Taichi: That's low! Jou: I can't help it! I'm studying for my entrance exams!

Education in Japan is a big fucking deal. Jou is about to graduate from elementary school into junior high. The exam he's talking about is to get him into a selective private junior high school, which will put him on track to a higher-paying career in the future.

This is what was so important to Chi-Chi in Dragon Ball that she had Gohan studying for it since he was four years old.

The tests he's studying for may shape the course of his entire life. It's something the other kids won't have to even think about for another year or two, but for Jou it's coming up fast.

In the dub:

Joe: STOOOOOOOP!!! I want to hear Izzy's theory! Don't start until I get there! I love Izzy's theories! Hold on! Tai: Alright! We won't start without you!

Aww, that's sweet.

Izzy goes on to explain his theory - while also getting confused on... basically everything about what we're trying to do here.

Izzy: We've already concluded that when the Digimon attacked four years ago, all of us including the Eighth Child were there. It is also safe to assume that each of us were given Digivices for a reason. Last night, I picked up an unidentified Digivice reading. I think it was the Eighth Child. Obviously, I lost the signal, but it's clear that the Eighth Child was in this vicinity. That's why the monsters are here too. Mimi: Monsters? Worse than snakes! (holding phone book) And this is supposed to help us? I'm lost. Izzy: My conclusion is that the Eighth Child is somewhere in one of these address books. Somehow we have to make a lot of calls and patrol the city for monster attacks at the same time. Joe: Well, I guess I could do some calling, as long as my folks don't find out. But I really gotta do some serious studying, so I won't be able to go on the search with you. Tai: What!? Joe, it's summer! Joe: I'm getting an early start! This year I'm really going to be prepared.

Yeah, this plot point for Joe was turbo-fucked from the get-go. It was going to be difficult to explain why Joe needs to spend all summer cramming for junior high without spending this whole scene explaining the Japanese education system to the American kids at home.

It was gonna be either this or sending Joe to summer school because he failed out of 6th grade. That he ends up looking like a useless flake is the price you pay for culture shock.

The bigger problem is Izzy, who is once again using smart words to be incredibly wrong about the plot. First off, the monsters aren't here. They haven't come to Odaiba at all. The Eighth Child is here because he's so wrong that he wrapped around to being right again. But the monster he encountered was in Shibaura, across the Rainbow Bridge.

Which, second off, is where we're going back to so we can find the Eighth Child. Patrolling the city for monster attacks, Izzy? The monsters aren't attacking random--

...

The monsters except Mammothmon aren't attacking randomly. They're trying to find what we're trying to find, and that's why we keep getting in punch-ups with them.

We do not have the manpower to be running all around Tokyo like Spider-Man looking for rogue Digimon. Nor would that help us find the Eighth Child. There was a plan here. A bad plan, because the Eighth Child is in Odaiba, but a sensible one.

In the wake of Jou bowing out of this mission, Mimi has an idea.

She deposits her phone book in his hands before he even knows what's going on.

Mimi: Then make my phone calls for me, okay? There's my address book from Wakaba Preschool. Jou: Huh!? Yamato: That's a good idea. (places his book on top of Mimi's) Here's mine from Dai-yon Elementary School. I'm counting on you. Koushiro: (places his book on top of Yamato's) It might be good if one of us focuses on making the calls. Sora: He has a point. (places her book on top off Koushiro's) Thank you, Senpai! (Taichi approaches Jou) Jou: N-No, not you too, Taichi! Taichi: Relax. I'm not gonna push my workload on you. Jou: T_T Aww, you're the best guy ever! Taichi: Ehehe.... You don't need to go that far. Sora: (to Koushiro) He couldn't find his phone book, could he? Koushiro: How did you ever guess?

To be fair, it would have been the same as Sora's anyway. So if you think about it, Jou's already doing Taichi's.

There's only one change in the dub: Matt is super aggressive about his line.

Matt: Joe, we're talking about the fate of the world here! If you're going to chicken out then you can call all the names in my book too! Seeya!

I want to say Matt's being his usual English Jerkass Matt but given that Jou's entrance exams have changed to Joe wanting to study for no particular reason, Matt's got the right of it. I'd be pissed too.

The kids take the train across the Rainbow Bridge, giving them a good look at the wreckage in Shibaura.

Taichi: So that mess is from your fight last night.... Yamato: It looks like a disaster zone. Takeru: The Eighth Child is somewhere around there.

However, they're not the only ones closing in on Shibaura. Vamdemon's boat has reached Tokyo Bay. Inside, PicoDevimon is steering it.

PicoDevimon: If I remember right, this is where the Eighth Child was last night.

Both factions race to Shibaura, on a collision course as they seek something that isn't there to find.

The dub lightens up the kids' exchange, taking out the somber tones of the original.

Tai: Whoa, look at all that damage from last night's battle! Matt: And there'll be a lot more too if this goes on. T.K.: We've gotta hurry up and find that Eighth Child! Matt: We will! We're not called the DigiDestined for nothing!

For the dub, this is a hoorah moment of rallying the team for action, rather than a somber moment of reflection on the carnage Kabuterimon and Raremon unleashed upon Shibaura.

Meanwhile, DemiDevimon makes me want to throw things.

DemiDevimon: Master, are we almost there yet!? 'Cause all this water's making me queasy!

Who the fuck are you talking to? He's in the carriage right now. Also, YOU are the one who knows where we're going! He's trusting you to get us there! Oh my god, DemiDevimon.

As the boat passes under the Rainbow Bridge and moves northeast, the fog follows it, blanketing the area in its wake.

See that building with the big spherical structure? That's the Fuji Broadcasting Center in Odaiba. We're going to see quite a bit of it.

Inside, two men gaze out the window at the mysterious weather phenomenon.

Man 1: Look outside. It's foggy. Man 2: I've never seen fog this thick before. I heard there was even snow falling in Tama. What is causing these strange phenomena?

Holy shit, Tama! There was snow in Tama! That must be where their camp was!

...is what you might be thinking, but no. The real-life route they took to return from camp doesn't go anywhere near Tama. It's in the wrong direction from Tokyo entirely.

In the dub, DemiDevimon delivers a silence-breaker as the boat passes under the Rainbow Bridge.

DemiDevimon: Those DigiDestined brats are probably miles away by now!

This is a continuation of his whining, but there's no reason for him to say this. It's a joke, with the irony being that the kids' train is passing over the Rainbow Bridge at the same time his boat is passing under it. But it falls flat because. Like. Why is he saying this joke?

Man 1: Hey look, that fog's coming in again. I've never seen anything like it! Man 2: At the same time, we're having the hottest weather on record! Man 1: And I heard that somebody saw snow falling last night. The ozone layer must be messed up worse than we thought.

The dub also misunderstands where the fog is coming from. Vamdemon and/or his carriage is producing it. It followed him from Nerima through Itabashi and now it's arrived with him at Shibaura.

All of the weather phenomena are being created by those weird Digimon that seem halfway in and out of reality. There's Meramon creating the droughts and Yukidarumon creating the snowfalls. Vamdemon and/or his carriage is producing this fog.

So. No. The fog is not coming in "again". This is the first time it's visited Shibaura.

Good catch on it being hot, though. They changed Mimi's line earlier where she sets up that it's a blazing hot day, so adding that in here lets them compensate for that and still foreshadow the plot-important heat wave.

Vamdemon's carriage departs the boat and moves into Daiba Park. A void in the shape of a grave appears beneath it, and the carriage descends into a dark abyss. There, waiting in silhouette, are Tailmon and her forces.

Let's take a moment to appreciate his choice of venue. Daiba Park is a man-made island named for the daiba for which Odaiba takes its name.

The daiba were gun batteries created in the 19th century to repel invasions by sea. It's a beautiful park now, but Vamdemon's squatting in what is effectively a historic military fort.

Tailmon: We've awaited your arrival! Crowd: Vamdemon-sama!

Tailmon sounds very enthusiastic when she shouts "Vamdemon-sama" but the rest of the crowd is murmuring it with zero energy. That's fair. They're here for the paycheck, not to join a cult.

Vamdemon: (stepping out of the carriage) This is a good place. We will make this our new headquarters.

From there, Tailmon ascends back up to the grassy field. She starts walking, but PicoDevimon calls after her.

PicoDevimon: Where are you off to, Tailmon? Tailmon: Our mission is to search for the Eighth Child. PicoDevimon: Trying to take the credit, huh? That's just like you! Tailmon: (feigning innocence) What? PicoDevimon: It's true, isn't it? I'm the one who found the Eighth Child first. Tailmon: Hmph! Do you really expect the Eighth Child to stick around in one spot? PicoDevimon: If that's what you think, then I'm sure you won't have a problem searching over there instead! Good luck finding them, if you can!

PicoDevimon flies off to get started on his search. As he departs, Tailmon's face contorts into a furious snarl. She was, in fact, trying to steal the credit from him.

Since he caught her red-handed, she gets stuck with the shit work. The "over there" he's referring to is this side of the bridge. He's sending Tailmon to go wander uselessly around Odaiba while he gets to go find the Eighth Child in Shibaura.

There is an irony at play here.

In the dub, there is no lukewarm team cheering of "Vamdemon-sama".

Gatomon: Welcome, oh great one! All is ready. Myotismon: (stepping out of the carriage) Perfect, Gatomon. As always, you have done excellent work. (Gatomon heads up topside) DemiDevimon: Hey whiskers, what do you think you're doing? Gatomon: I don't think. I know why I'm here; I'm finding the Eighth Child. DemiDevimon: That's my job, Furball! I'm in charge here. Gatomon: Yeah, right! DemiDevimon: Listen up, Puss in Boots! Quit sucking up to the Master! "I'm the Master's cute little pet!" GAG ME WITH A FURBALL!!! Gatomon: It's really hard to feel threatened by a bowling ball with feathers. DemiDevimon: Blah blah blah blah. Just keep out of my way! I'm finding that kid, not you, got it! Take a cat nap, kitty litter! HAHA!!! Gatomon: (scowl; thinking) That flappy-winged joker couldn't find water if he fell out of a boat.

Once again, the plot is just... not here in this version of the scene. The plot-specific rivalry of Tailmon trying to steal PicoDevimon's thunder and then accidentally talking herself out of it is gone, replaced by Gatomon and DemiDevimon generically bickering for six lines over who sucks more.

While PicoDevimon and Tailmon split up to scour Shibaura, the Chosen Children do the same.

Koushiro: Does everyone know which areas they'll be covering? Yamato: Yeah. Taichi: Don't worry! Sora: Let's get started!

Going their separate ways, they set out to do the same thing Tailmon's mercenaries are doing: Finding places where kids would be and holding up their Digivice to see if they get any readings.

Taichi and Koushiro buddy up for one team. Exploring the district, they momentarily pass a restaurant.

Agumon: Taichi-- Taichi: No!

They find some kids to scan, but get nothing.

Yamato and Takeru partner up because of course they do. They head down to the harbor.

Takeru: (checking Digivice) They can't be around here. Yamato: Yeah....

Jou starts making phone calls, as agreed.

Jou: Hello? This is Kido. I used to be in your class in second grade....

While Mimi and Sora explore the residential areas, pushing Palmon and Piyomon together in Mimi's baby carriage. It's only big enough for one of them, unfortunately, and the space is causing some hostility.

Palmon: You're smothering me! Why don't you go fly instead, Piyomon? Piyomon: Palmon, you've gotten fatter! Palmon: That's rude! Sora: Don't fight, you two. Babies don't act like this. Mimi: Could the Eighth Child really be around here? Also, it's really hot....

This isn't going well for anybody.

In the dub, it's Tai making the plan as usual rather than Izzy.

Tai: Okay, so we'll split up into pairs so we can cover more of the city, got it? Matt: Got it. Izzy: Let's go! Sora: Good luck everybody!

Fittingly, Koushiro's plan designated each team to a particular place but Tai's plan is just "Split up and go looking."

Agumon: I see food! Tai: Agumon, keep your mind on our mission, okay? (Tai and Izzy scan some kids and get nothing. Meanwhile, down at the harbor) T.K.: Aww, doesn't look like he's down here. That would have been too easy anyway. Matt: Yeah right. (Joe makes some calls) Joe: Hi, I know this is kind of strange but I was in second grade with you.... (Mimi and Sora deal with pushy Digimon Partners) Palmon: Hey! Stop pushing! Biyomon: I am not pushing you! You're kicking me! Palmon: You pushed the line onto my side, you big cheater! Biyomon: I am not a cheater, you're a liar! Palmon: I'm telling! Sora: Knock it off! If you two keep fooling around, someone's going to get hurt. Mimi: I know how they feel. Just walking around in this heat's enough to make anybody cranky. You know what this is, Sora? A big fat drag!

It's pretty much all the same, but longer. Palmon and Biyomon's fight once again demonstrates that Americans are the masters of writing characters behaving like assholes.

Also, we have immediately abandoned the dub's plot. Remember, according to Izzy, we're not looking for the Eighth Child; We're patrolling for monster attacks. That stopped being a thing almost immediately after it was spoken and now we're back on script with the Eighth Child search.

While the kids are out searching, Tailmon is doing the same.

Alright, let's break out the map again. Green circle is Shibaura, where PicoDevimon and the Chosen Children are all hunting the Eighth Child. The black circle is Daiba Park, Vamdemon's base of operations. Tailmon begins her search at Odaiba Beach, which stretches from Daiba Park around to Odaiba Seaside Park; That's the blue circle.

The red map marker below the blue circle is the Fuji Broadcasting Center, in case you're curious where that was.

Fun fact: If you look close enough next to it, you might also see a blue marker labeled "Statue of Liberty". That's exactly what it sounds like. There's like four copies of the Statue of Liberty in Tokyo. That other marker on the other side of the Fuji building is a life-size Gundam statue. Tokyo is just. Like that.

So, we find Tailmon on Odaiba Beach watching the humans have summertime fun.

Tailmon: How peaceful. There's not a chance the Eighth Child is among them.

She departs the beach and moves deeper into the district, entering Odaiba Seaside Park.

At that moment, Hikari too is in Odaiba Seaside Park, searching for her cat. We briefly see Meeko run past before Hikari enters the frame.

Hikari: Meeko! Where are you? Meeko! Where could she be....

Hikari and Tailmon briefly pass one another. Then Hikari stops, looking Tailmon over and studying her more carefully. Tailmon, too, stops to look back at Hikari.

Hikari: Are you one of Agumon's friends? Tailmon: !!! Hikari: You are, aren't you? Tailmon: ...meow! Mrooowr! Hikari: What's your name? Tailmon: Mrowrowr! (runs away) Hikari: Huh? Wait!

Tailmon's rejection leaves Hikari sad, but she doesn't give chase. She's here to look for Meeko, after all. She turns and walks away.

Tailmon V.O.: That girl! How does she know about Agumon!? Could she be the Eighth Child!?

Yeah, that's probably bad. PicoDevimon should have let Tailmon search Shibaura with him.

Over in the dub, Gatomon takes offense at all the fun being had on Odaiba Beach.

Gatomon: What silly creatures! Pea-brained dolts! Laugh it up! When Myotismon is through, you won't be laughing!

Okay? They're windsurfing, Gatomon. Chill out. Unlike the Gatomon and DemiDevimon argument, this doesn't replace much in terms of plot cohesion, but it is another bit of dialogue erased in favor of having the bad guys just spout Bad Guy Speak.

Kari: Meeko! Come back here! Where'd you go? Meeko! (Kari passes Gatomon) Kari: What a funny looking kitty. (stares, slowly realizing) ...hi there. Are you a friend of Agumon? Gatomon: !!! Kari: (cheerfully) Are you one of them? Gatomon: Meow! Meow! Kari: What's your name? Gatomon: Meow! Meow! (runs away) Kari: Wait, don't go! Mm... (isadly walks away) Gatomon (V.O.): So, she knows about Agumon. Hmm... Is it possible this little squirt is the Eighth Child?

It's mostly the same, with one key tonal difference in Gatomon's last line. Tailmon was freaking the fuck out when she realized she might have found the Eighth Child, while Gatomon is calm and contemplative.

Her Cosplay Crest doesn't react, but that's because it reacts to her Digivice as established last episode. She doesn't have that on her.

Once Hikari leaves, Tailmon chases after her in secret. Stalking Hikari all the way home.

Once Hikari gets to the front door, she turns towards Tailmon who's creeping around the corner. Tailmon panics and hides, but she's obviously been seen.

Hikari: Come here! Tailmon: MROOOOOWR!!! (bounds around the corner) Hikari: My mom's out. I'll leave the door open.

Nat 1 on her Stranger Danger check right there.

True to her word, she leaves the door wide open for Tailmon and goes to watch TV. The news is now talking about the mysterious fog that's rolled in over Tokyo Bay.

Reporter: The extreme humidity in the Tokyo Bay area of Odaiba is rare, even for summer. The cause behind it is unknown.

While she's watching, Tailmon creeps into the Yagami home. Studying Hikari carefully, like an actual cat.

No change to Kari's line in the dub, though the news report is a little different.

Reporter: Weather experts can't explain the unseasonable fog. In fact, they have no explanation for any of the bizarre weather conditions we've been having, including this heat wave.

They add in a reminder about the steadily rising temperatures going on in the background of this episode. Though they also seem to think fog can't form in the summer, which isn't so. Summertime fog isn't uncommon in a humid climate like Japan.

You'd think "weather experts" would know how advection fog forms on the Pacific coast. This isn't even a culture thing; The coastal U.S. gets it too, particularly California.

We return to Sora and Mimi, still searching Shibaura while pushing their Partner Digimon in a stroller. Mimi has questions.

Mimi: Why do we still have to do this even though we just got home? Let's take a little break, Sora-san. Sora: Again? Okay, but make it quick.

The girls all sit down at a bench in the shade. Sora, however, still has her eye on the ball, checking a map of the surrounding area and marking it with a red pen.

Mimi: Ahhh. I slept in a soft bed last night with the A/C on. That's when it really sank in: Home is the best. Palmon: The food was great too! Mimi: Yeah! My mom's cooking has never tasted so good. Piyomon: The food at Sora's house was amazing. Sora's mom seems really kind, too. Right, Sora? Sora: (looking up from her map with a smile) You think so? Thank you. Now, back to work.

Sora marks up the map with X's.

Sora: Let's see... hm.... Mimi: She's working so hard (ganbaru). Isn't she hot? Palmon: You two have different levels of endurance. Mimi: ...I'd rather be a delicate girl. Oh! Sora-san! Let's try a place with huge crowds of people! Sora: Huge crowds of people? Mimi: Yes! Over there!

Mimi points to the Tokyo Tower, circled in blue on the map. We're about two miles out from Shibaura right now, albeit two miles of whatever city-combing manhunt pattern we've been making. We're resting in that park right by the tower.

Tokyo Tower is a major landmark for the city. Inspired by the Eiffel Tower - Again, Tokyo is just like that - Tokyo Tower serves two purposes. Its lofty height makes for a fun recreational place to visit, giving people a gorgeous view of the city from its two observation decks. Additionally, the tower has transmitters for broadcasting various network signals, such as those from Fuji TV back in Odaiba.

Even in this brutal heat, Sora remains mission-focused on finding the Eighth Child. Ganbaru wa ne. She's persevering and working hard to push through these conditions. Mimi has trouble relating to that.

In the dub, Mimi's upset because pushing the stroller is hard, which takes the nuance out of her position.

Mimi: I'm not meant for this kind of work! If I ever have a baby, I'm gonna hire somebody to push her around, that's for sure. Hold on, how about a break, okay? Sora: Again? Well, make it quick. (They sit on the bench) Mimi: Ahhhh! Last night, I got to sleep in a soft bed with the A/C cranked up watching my own TV; Wasn't that the best, Palmon? Palmon: Dinner was really something too! Mimi: Wasn't it great? My mom knows all the best takeout places in the city; She never has to cook! Biyomon: Sora's mom made our dinner and it was terrific! Well, all of it except for this kinda green mushy stuff. What's it called? Sora: (looking up from her map with a smile) What? Spinach. Now let's see, where was I...? (Sora resumes marking the map) Sora: Hmm.... Mimi: Would you look at that. She's not even tired. Palmon: You're different. You like to take things easy. Mimi: Finding this kid's harder than finding a good sale. (gasp) Hey Sora, if we really want to find this kid, we should go where lots of people gather. Sora: You thinking of any place in particular? Mimi: Yep! Right there! (points out Tokyo Tower) Besides, we can see the whole city from up there. Really get the lay of the land, you know?

Besides Mimi complaining about pushing the stroller, there are a few other differences. Mimi's mom no longer has fine cooking but instead fine takeout skills; This is presumably to mesh with the dub's characterization of Mimi as coming from extravagant wealth. Though if she's rich enough to shit-talk Cockatrimon's cruise ship, you'd think their family would have a private chef or something instead of ordering takeout.

A subtle difference, but the original exchange with Palmon was about Mimi having low physical stamina; By her admission, she wants to remain that way. She likes being soft and delicate, and doesn't aspire to be a hard, rugged tomboy like Soccer Striker Sora.

This goes along with that other comment the dub didn't bring over, about "Why do we still have to do this?" It's unfair that they finally got to go home but still have to be Digimon World child soldiers.

The dub's version of this has Palmon call Mimi a slacker. Mimi then quips instead of responding to the accusation.

The girls head to Tokyo Tower. Unfortunately, someone else has his eye on this same spot.

One of Tailmon's mercenaries approaches the tower, looking up at it. Then he notices Sora and Mimi entering the building.

The girls take the elevator up to the observation deck, stepping into the refreshing coolness of an indoor environment.

Mimi: Ahhhh, it feels so good! It's great to be in a place with air conditioning! Palmon: I'm coming back to life! Sora: Yeah, I thought as much.

Sora saw right through Mimi's plan, but went along with it anyway. You know, as someone who had to spend weeks without functioning A/C in the midst of a heat wave, I sympathize with Mimi. This is an ironic episode to do right after getting the A/C fixed.

The girls approach the observation window to gaze out at the city.

Piyomon: Sora, that's where your house is, right? Sora: That's right. This is the world we live in.

In the dub, Sora's a bit slower on the uptake.

Mimi: Ahhhh, there! Isn't that better? Nice and cool. I knew this place would have A/C. Palmon: Feels great! Sora: Should have guessed you had an ulterior motive. (The girls go to the window) Mimi: Isn't your house over there? Sora: Yeah. It sure is strange being back in our own world again.

I'm not sure why Mimi knows where Sora lives and can point it out. I do, however, like Sora pointing out that it's as much an adjustment coming home as it was going to the other world. They spent months adapting to life in the Digimon World and now they have to re-adapt to what was once normal.

Or, at least, she does. Everybody handles things differently. By her admission earlier, Mimi has no adapting to do at all. To her, this was a bad disruption to normality that finally ended. I love this implied commentary on their character dichotomy, that Sora got used to the Digimon wilds but Mimi never stopped longing for home.

Then someone else arrives on the observation deck.

Tailmon's mercenary steps out of the elevator, and instantly the room stops being so relieving.

Palmon: Mimi, does it feel a little hotter in here to you? Mimi: Yeah, I guess the air conditioning isn't very strong over here.

The girls move over to directly beneath the A/C vent to escape the sudden pervasive heat.

Palmon: Ahh, a cool breeze. Piyomon: Feels great!

But then the A/C shuts off.

Mimi: (pout) It's getting warmer.... Sora: Maybe the air conditioner broke-- Mimi: (turns her head and notices Tailmon's mercenary) EUGH!? HOW IS HE ABLE TO WEAR A FULL-LENGTH COAT IN THIS SUMMER HEAT!?!? I'm getting hotter just looking at him! Sora: Mimi-chan, he'll hear you! Mimi: It's true though.

Ironically, Mimi is absolutely correct to blame that trench coat man for making her feel hotter, but not for the reason she thinks.

In the dub:

Palmon: Does it feel like it's getting warmer? Mimi: Yeah, it does. Let's move over closer to the blowers, ahaha!

For some reason, they play the A/C shutting down noise on the first shot of the vent, while it's still blowing, instead of the second shot where it shuts down.

(A/C blows fine but makes shutdown noise) Palmon: There, that's more like it. Biyomon: Wonderful! (A/C shuts down silently) Mimi: (pout) What happened to the air? Sora: Hm, maybe this heat wave finally got to be too much for it. Mimi: (turns her head and notices Gatomon's mercenary) EUGH!! Look at that weirdo wearing a coat in this heat! And such an ugly one too! Sora: Hey, Mimi, be quiet! He'll hear you! Mimi: Oh, and what's he gonna do?

Mimi is dripping with personality in this scene. Both versions go hard on their particular Mimi takes.

The man in the trench coat turns around suddenly, facing the girls.

Sora: See, he heard you!

To everybody's surprise, he flames up. Blue flames cover his body, burning away his trench coat and revealing his true identity. Blast! It was another Ninja Turtle trench coat disguise all along! With an actual trench coat!

Sora and Mimi scream when they realize he's here for a fight.

Sora & Mimi: AHHHHHHHH!!! Palmon & Piyomon: A DIGIMON!!!

In full view of the rest of the crowd on the observation deck, Palmon and Piyomon leap from the stroller to face down Tailmon's mercenary.

No change in the dub. But after the mercenary burns off his coat, Mimi helpfully comments:

Mimi: Well, I guess that explains the coat!

XD It sure does, Mimi. It sure does.

Now that the mercenary is raring to fight, the heat turns up so high that Taichi and Koushiro can see it from a distance.

Agumon: I think it just got hotter all of a sudden. Tentomon: I can't believe it.... Koushiro: Tokyo Tower looks like it's bending. Taichi: That's impossible.

The heat around Tokyo Tower is now so thick it's distorting the air.

Taichi: It's true!

He takes out his mini telescope to get a closer look at the tower. Giving him a chance to see Birdramon explode out of the window with Tailmon's mercenary leaping out to pursue her.

Taichi: IT'S A DIGIMON!!!

No change in the dub.

Birdramon kicks off the fighting with an inadvisable Meteor Wing. Her flames strike the mercenary, swirling harmlessly around him. Togemon steps up with Chiku-Chiku Bang-Bang. The mercenary counters, slapping her needles out of the air with his flaming chain and cracking her across the face and knocking her on her ass.

Kabuterimon flies in overheard, ferrying Taichi, Koushiro, and Agumon to the fight. Koushiro pulls up their opponent's information on the Digimon Analyzer.

Koushiro: That's DeathMeramon! He's Perfect-stage!

DeathMeramon is a Perfect-stage Data-type Flame Digimon. Hailing from, you guessed it, the Nightmare Soldiers release, DeathMeramon is the evolved form of Meramon.

Narrator: DeathMeramon. A Perfect-stage Digimon whose body is enveloped in blue flames. His special attack is Heavy Metal Fire.

Not the most informative of rundowns, to be sure.

In the dub, despite having the Digimon Analyzer open, Izzy asks Agumon of all people to deliver the rundown.

Izzy: Explain this to us, Agumon. Just who is this guy? Agumon: He's SkullMeramon. His element is Fire. He's tough and he can sure dish it out!

His element is Fire? What, do we have to keep track of a Pokemon Type Chart now?

Note: I'm just poking fun. Some Digimon video games do in fact have a Pokemon Type Chart, in addition to the Vaccine/Virus/Data triangle. But that hasn't been a thing in the anime up to this point.

DeathMeramon's name was apparently too intense for the censors, despite the fact that we have had usages of "kill" and "die" in the show before. So they swapped it out for SkullMeramon, which is still pretty edgy. But. Like. He has a Jason Voorhees mask; Where does the skull come in?

In any case, I don't know why we're turning to Agumon for this. The Analyzer was added to the show so we could stop leaning on the Digimon for explanations, since they aren't supposed to know much about Digimon from outside of File Island.

As soon as the narrator finishes explaining Heavy Metal Fire, DeathMeramon shows us exactly what that is.

Of note: That's not fire he's breathing. He's spewing liquid metal. It's heavy, it's metal, and it's fire. Kabuterimon evades, but his shot of Heavy Metal Fire lands on a support beam for Tokyo Tower. The glob of burning blue liquid comes to rest on the beam, melting straight through it.

The tower above containing the second observation deck begins to fall. There are probably people in there.

Koushiro: It's falling! Kabuterimon, hold it up!

Kabuterimon's forced to withdraw from the fight so he can hold up the tower and prevent it from falling on the city below. Which he manages successfully. Holy hell, the force of those gossamer wings.

DeathMeramon: I'll burn you all to the ground! Taichi: We won't-- Agumon: --let that happen!

Agumon leaps from Kabuterimon's back, evolving to Greymon to join the fight.

The dub calls SkullMeramon's attack "Metal Fireball".

Tai: The tower's gonna fall on the city! Izzy: Grab it, Kabuterimon! Hurry! (Kabuterimon holds back the tower) SkullMeramon: Don't you know not to play with fire!? Tai: Are you ready!? Agumon: Yeah!

They add a line so that Tai can be involved in the tower support.

The combat banter is all different, but in a way that isn't better or worse than the original. Lateral change.

Taichi and Greymon barrel into the fray and immediately make everything worse.

Greymon lands on DeathMeramon, divekicking him in the chest. When DeathMeramon shrugs that off, Greymon follows up with a Mega Flame. DeathMeramon absorbs the attack and grows twice as large as before, much like Meramon did way back when.

Taichi: He got bigger after absorbing the Mega Flame! Koushiro: He's Perfect-stage. An Adult-stage like Greymon is no match for him.

In the dub:

Tai: Now we've really made him mad! He swallowed that Nova Blast like a hot fudge sundae! Izzy: All it did was make him stronger! Unless Greymon Digivolves again, he's toast!

Is Izzy implying that we need to Super-Evolve because of the buff? Because we don't. We needed to Super-Evolve from the beginning, and the buff only made things worse.

The dub hilariously picks here for Hey Digimon. A point in the fight in which Greymon achieves nothing and gets dunked on. They make the weirdest choices in how they use that ditty.

Errors have been made. Avoidable errors if Taichi wasn't so reckless and had paid attention when Koushiro talked. Greymon Super-Evolves to MetalGreymon and continues to struggle against the now buffed up DeathMeramon.

MetalGreymon and DeathMeramon throw themselves into a grapple. But in his buffed up state, DeathMeramon's strength wins out, forcing MetalGreymon to his knees.

Birdramon and Togemon return to the fight. Birdramon strafes by DeathMeramon, pulling his attention while Togemon rushes him from behind. Unfortunately, he's on fire, so this backfires in hideous and predictable ways.

Togemon: (charging in) TOGEMOOOOOOOOOON!!! (DeathMeramon moves slightly backwards and strikes her with his back, engulfing her in his flames; Togemon runs screaming) Mimi: Togemon! Get a hold of yourself!

Even Mimi's yelling at them for how bad that plan was. Maybe we should have a Pokemon Type Chart to drill into everyone's' skulls. Everybody is fucking up today.

Sadly, Dub Togemon does not scream her own name as a battle cry moments before being hilariously shitstomped.

Togemon: Lightspeed Jabbing! (SkullMeramon moves slightly backwards and strikes her with his back, engulfing her in his flames; Togemon runs screaming) Mimi: Watch out! This guy is scary!

It's not nearly as funny.

While Togemon KO's her own goddamn self, DeathMeramon lands a direct hit of Heavy Metal Fire on Birdramon's center mass, knocking her from the sky.

The distraction, however, buys MetalGreymon the time he needs to get up into the air and out of close combat. By. Uh. Flying? I guess he can fly with those tattered wings of his.

MetalGreymon fires his Trident Arm at DeathMeramon. DeathMeramon jerks aside and wraps his chain around it as it passes, so that when it retracts, he now has a grapple around MetalGreymon.

DeathMeramon: I've caught you! HEAVY METAL FIRE!!!

MetalGreymon twists sideways in the air to dodge the attack.

MetalGreymon: Who caught who now? DeathMeramon: What?

MetalGreymon spins in the air, using the leverage from the chain to yank DeathMeramon off the roof of the observation deck and hurl him up into the air. There, he lets off his Giga Blaster, obliterating DeathMeramon with two direct hits.

The dub adds a taunt to MetalGreymon's attack.

MetalGreymon: Hey! Up here, bucket of bolts! MEGA CLAW!!!

Uh. Pot, meet kettle? DeathMeramon isn't even a cyborg. He just has a spooky face.

No other change in the dub.

While all this fighting is happening at Tokyo Tower, something else is going down in the Yagami home.

Hikari is still watching the news, with Tailmon lurking around the corner of the couch.

Reporter: According to eyewitness reports, kaiju have been spotted fighting with each other. Tailmon: (thinking, kinda freaking out) She is definitely not an ordinary child! I should kill her now! Reporter: Speculation has arisen that this may be connected to the kaiju uproar that occurred yesterday.

Tailmon hops up onto the back of the couch and creeps up on Hikari. She raises her sharp, gloved claw to strike.

Hikari: (turns around and holds out her hands) Come here.

Tailmon is so startled that she loses her balance and falls off the back of the couch.

Losing all of her nerve, she turns around and heads for the door.

Hikari: You're leaving? But you'll come back, right?

Tailmon breaks into a four-legged sprint to get out of there as fast as possible.

Tailmon: I can't act when I have no proof that she's the Eighth Child! Narrator: At this time, Tailmon had yet to realize that this girl, Yagami Hikari, would soon hold special meaning for her.

Spoilers, narrator. Fuck. Why are you like this?

In the dub:

Reporter: While the clash of the monsters caused extensive damage to the tower, no casualties were reported. Gatomon: (thinking) She isn't so bad, for a human. Better company than some Digimon, that's for sure. Reporter: But fear is in the air and there's a general feeling of public unrest. (Gatomon climbs up on the couch and stealthily approaches Kari, holding out her claw to strike) Gatomon: (thinking) Still, orders are orders and I'm not gonna be the one who lets the Eighth Child get away. Kari: (turns around) Hi! Gatomon: HUH!?!? Uhhhhhhhhhhh.... Kari: (holds out hands) C'mere! (Gatomon falls off the back of the couch, then gets up and starts to leave) Kari: Are you going already? But you'll come back again, right? (Gatomon flees at the speed of panic) Gatomon: Her sweetness makes me lose my edge. But I'll be back and next time, I'll be ready for her! Reporter (V.O.): While no one knows where these monsters are from or why they're here, it's clear the Earth is at some sort of crossroads. The question is, down which road does our destiny await?

Credit where it's due, the use of the reporter to stand in for the narrator and deliver some genuinely ominous parting comments? Inspired. I love it.

Gatomon remains cool and composed compared to Tailmon's panic attack, but it remains clear that Kari is a chink in her malevolent armor. I like Tailmon's more emotional performance better, but as I said about Mimi in the observation deck, both of these scenes make great use of their respective interpretations of the character.

The episode ends here and I have absolutely no idea how we're going to repair Tokyo Tower. I bet it stops being a problem between episodes. That seems likely.

Assessment: Taichi again shows up to steal Mimi's thunder because we're holding off on letting Palmon hit Perfect. I thought this was the episode. Tragic.

It felt like they were going somewhere when Mimi and Palmon were comparing her relationship with her femininity to Sora's. Like this was going to be Sora and Mimi's episode to explore their differences. But then they fucked off once the fighting started so Taichi could be the rockstar.

That's disappointing. Nothing happening from a plot perspective is the point; Everyone's searching the wrong area. Given that, it's good to have an episode where nothing can happen. The funniest thing in the episode is when PicoDevimon punishes Tailmon for trying to get a head start on him by banishing her to where the Eighth Child actually is.

But it also feels like nothing happened from a character perspective, which is more damning. Sora and Mimi had a chance to have an interesting side adventure and learn about each other. But they didn't. They got hot and then went up Tokyo Tower. That is all they got to do.

So this one kinda sucks? It's pretty good while the story is moving all the characters into Shibaura, but the back half of the episode comes off like filler to give Hikari and Tailmon's plot time to transpire.

And the dub isn't any better. It screws up multiple times at explaining the plot as we're getting the characters into Shibaura.

I understand that they weren't going to be able to explain the geographic elements of this episode but they could at least have compensated. Yeah, kids won't know which side of the Rainbow Bridge is which, but they've said the kids are in Odaiba in the past. DemiDevimon could say something like, "Shibaura is mine! You can go search Odaiba."

But they didn't bother. This one isn't great in either version.

[ginger-lime]

Will Wood (and the Tapeworms) Songs as Ride the Cyclone Characters!

Recently decided to wade through Will Wood's discography more and I think some of the songs by the 30-something year old dude really embody them

How this half asleep rant will work:

[Character]: [Song(s)]

Explanation of why song is chosen

"Certain excerpts from the song I think embody the goober chosen"

Note: all songs wils be linked when they're written (mostly as youtube lyric videos), also this will probably be very long

Ocean O'Connell Rosenburg: The Main Character

Local ‘gifted kid’ teenager has yet to find out that the world doesn't revolve around her and stepping on anyone who doesn't fit in with her isn’t okay, more at 7

"I mean, imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene"

"I loot plot armor from NPC’s / Well, they are to me"

Noel Gruber: Suburbia Overture / Greetings from Mary Bell Township! / (Vampire) Culture / Love Me, Normally

This song (in my opinion) is really the embodiment of Noel's character. attempting to fit in, being told to "tone it down" by his mother until eventually arriving in the afterlife and essentially going "fuck it, we ball" with Noel's Lament (and Vampire Culture in this allegory) until eventually arriving at a state of peace with Love Me, Normally/It's Just a Ride

"a snowflake only matters in a blizzard"

Mischa Bachinski: 6up 5oh Cop-Out (Pro / Con & ¡Aikido! (Neurotic / Erotic)

6up 5oh with it's plot(?) of running from the police and proceeding to get mistreated by them is how Mischa is viewed by essentially everyone is Saskatchewan (and to an extent how he lets them see him). While ¡Aikido!, is more of his 'passion' side, specifically with Talia. The more aggressive reprise at the end of Aikido in the 2020 remaster also reminds me allot of the techno section of 'Talia'.

"It's never too late to embrace your fate"

"So we can touch instead of feel"

Ricky Potts: White Noise & Dr. Sunshine Is Dead

Imagine being so forgotten by everyone around you so the innocent bean stereotype is put on you automatically despite the fact that you’re real personality is far from that and then having a mini identity crisis over it

"You're not meant to sing along"

"I'm no one if I'm nowhere in between"

Jane Doe: Big Fat Bitchie’s Blueberry Pie, Christmas Tree, and Recreational Jell-o Emporium a.k.a. “Mr. Boy is on the Roof Again” (Feat. Pasta by Sneakers McSqueakers) [From “B.F.B.’s B-Sides: Bagel Batches, Marsh-Mallows, & Barsh-Mallows”]

No thoughts, story, or plot, just funky carnival music

Constance Blackwood: Falling Up

This song is essentially 'Sugar Cloud' but more melancholy. This is what I'd imagine a song about Constance's life before she died would be about, or Constance's Monologue in song form. What especially reminded me of her monologue was the rapid fire listing of objects and even the title 'Falling Up' being repeated in the song feeling like the roller coaster when it derailed. They're falling but being upside down it feels more like they're flying.

"You make a wish upon the dead, but turn and call it a weed"

"Much larger than life, 'cause from such height / Life looks awful small"

"Well, I cry on skies of blue linoleum, Clouds o' spilled milk"

Penny Lamb: Willard!

Aspiring animal conservationist doesn't know how to relate to "normal" people partially due to her upbringing. Parts of the song were the singer wants animal traits the make their life easier reminds me of Penny's whole "I vomit fire" thing before absolutely destroying JK-47

“Until frustration makes me wish my teeth were sharp as yours”

“I've never understood what humans do and want / It's quite confusing to me to try to connect / Never learned how I should feel, instincts somehow stunted”

Extra characters outside of the choir:

I'll go less in depth for these as i think most of these are self-explanatory

Karnak: Memento Mori: the most important thing in the world

funky sentient machine is constantly aware of his imminent death and decides to be a goofy goober because of it

Virgil: Tomcat Disposables

rat just wants to vibe and chew on a power cable. oopsies he's dead now

Monique Gibeau: White Knuckle Jerk & Front Street

oh em gee she's so gorgeous and dangerous and the world described in Noel's Lament is very gritty and a little gross

Ezra Lamb: Euthanasia (Live)

this mostly feeds into my hc that Ezra ditched school to go to the fair with the choir and had to see his sister get beheaded, being completely inconsolable, and not being listened to because he's "a kid looking for attention"

It's the end yay!!

That's the end folks! I really enjoyed making this (i am a very big fan of both rtc and will wood) there were a lot of other songs i wanted to include (skeleton appreciation day, i/me/myself etc.) but didn't because either

a. they fit too many characters for me to just pin one to them or

b. the character already had two songs assigned to them

i hope anybody reading this is having a good day/night and listens to will wood more in the future ig

[alpaca-clouds]

How I became obsessed with Vampires

I wanna talk a bit about horror and horror related stuff this week. Because I adore horror, and generally I would argue that horror -especially paranormal horror - is easily my favorite genre. While in other genres there is some stuff I like more than any horror, horror is generally the genre where I like a whole lot of stuff. More than in any other.

And I kinda just want to talk about how it all started.

See, when I was a kid, I was literally afraid of my own fucking shadow. Like, I was so afraid of ghosts, aliens, cryptids and everything else. With one exception: vampires.

When I was still in kindergarten, I watched this late 80s German kids show: "The little Vampire". It is about this boy Anton, who befriends a vampire kid named Rüdiger (if you read my CV Styria stuff, yes, that is where Rüdiger got his name). And frankly, no, I cannot explain why I could look at pretty much everything else at the time and hide under my blanket, but I saw vampries and was like: "AWESOME!"

But yeah, back in the day I absolutely adored this show - and then basically went on to get my hands on as much vampire media as I was capable.

Most notable back then was probably the Musical Tanz der Vampire (Dance of the Vampires, based on Roman Polanski's "The Fearless Vampire Hunters" movie). Mind you, when that musical got started on German stages me and some of my friends were always raging, because we were basically shipping Alfred/Herbert and Sarah/von Krolock. Though back then I did not yet know fanfics were a thing you could write.

And of course, when I was like 5th grade (and very much too young for those books) one of the Anne Rice novels ended up in my hands. In the following months I learned a whole lot more about gayness than my very Catholic mother would have liked. *coughs*

At this time I also really got into anime/manga, which obviously involved quite a lot of other vampire media. Hellsing was a thing back then, but also my beloved Vampire Princess Miyu. Gods, I still love that manga to bits.

When I was around 13 or 14, the Urban Fantasy media came over to Germany as well - including a whole lot of vampires, of course.

And yes, when Twilight originally came out, I actually really enjoyed it. I mean, I have even today probably a more complicated opinion on Twilight than most (because I actually think there is some stuff in there that really, really works well).

And I adored Buffy, when it came out. (Less so today.)

Ironically, the only thing that I never got into - maybe because it came a bit too late for me - was Vampire Diaries.

But yeah. Vampires to me are very interesting. Because even while they were creatures associated with horror, to me they never really read as "horror". Mostly, because a lot of the vampire I enjoyed very much centered the viewpoint of the vampires in some regard. And vampires in those pieces of media were so often the "misunderstood souls" in some regards.

Now mind you, as a kid I really hated on Louis in Anne Rice's stuff, because I was like: "Dude, I wanna be a vampire, and all you do is whine about it?" But my view of Louis shifted a lot when I grew up and started to understand how miserable the life of a vampire would actually be.

A part of me is somewhat sad that there is not a whole lot of media out there, that really goes into vampires as actual monsters. Which is also something I am definitely gonna talk about later this week. While kid me would have probably been afraid of "vampires as monsters" as well - but they are so rare and have been rare for a long while.

But yes. Somehow, when I was a kid, I saw this one kid's show about a boy and his vampire bff, and it basically changed my brain chemistry forever xD

[oh-soo-diabolik]

Family Trips and car rides.

warnings: swearing, emo life 👽🩵

<was thrown back in time with this one>

“Pass me the fucking aux, you breast-less bitch.” His words tickle the edge of your ear.

With his body looming over the driver's seat, the drive was going to be a long and difficult one. Sucking your teeth you forcelt shove the white wire into Ayato’s hand.

“If you play some trash shit, I’m killing us all.” you sneer at the red head.

A snickering captivates your attention, your eyes flicker to its owner. Laito Sakamaki. “Including you, Laito. Anyway, why do you always have to-”

A sudden sound of music blasting through the speakers, shakes the car. “Jesus Christ, Ayato. Give us a warning.” You pester on.

The eldest brother Shuu, jumps in from his comfortable position, his blue eyes sends daggers into Ayato’s skull.

“Yeah whatever,�� why does Shuu get to sit up front? You belong to yours truly, so it’s apparent who should be in front.” Ayato mutters, as he shifts back into the middle seat.

The once quiet car ride now filled with the sounds of cursing and screaming, this was going to be the longest five hour drive in vampire history.

“Yeah and because you, I’m a Vampire, done without my consent may I add. So now I’ll be ignoring you for the next two hundred years.” you retort, your hands grip the steering wheel.

You were now stuck with them for an eternity.

<prayers to u reader san>

“Heh?! We live in the same house.” Ayato argues, you smirk in response as you glimpse into the rear view mirror at Subaru, who sat silently on the left of Ayato.

Dripping with anger and annoyance.

“I mean, Subaru did it for three hundred. I’ll get pointers from him if needed.” You snicker, Ayato glares at you, gritting his teeth. “Isn’t that right? Su.Ba.Ru~”

“Fuck you all, I hate it here. I want to die.” Subaru spurs, reaching for his airpods in his pocket. “Fuck, are we there yet?” he adds.

“Oi, Emo fuck, you think you’re the only one who wants to die?” Shuu chimes in, your eyes roll, they are the same as they were ninety years ago.

Only thing that seemed to change about them was their ‘human age’, they no longer the teenage boys you once knew, they were now college age and having an identity crisis, especially Reiji.

“Save the dying for after my birthday trip, why am I driving anyway? It’s my birthday.” You whine in annoyance, who in their right mind made the birthday girl/boy drive to their own birthday trip?

“Well, you’re the only one with a license.” Shuu says with a shrug, if you were in an anime you would’ve sweat-dropped by now.

You were always curious, how did an advanced species of creatures work around driving and insurance?

“So, how did you guys get around then?” You quickly shoot Shuu with a side eye reaction. Your tongue clicks as you notice the smirk on the blonde’s face.

“We have drivers.” was all he said.

“So why am I driving?” you question once more. “You fancy being a passenger princess?” You say with a teasing tone.

“Only if it’s you driving.” He grins, the sound of Ayato scoffing causes the blonde to stare at his brother. “What now?” Shuu says, his airpods wired casing, hanging around his neck.

“I want the front seat, lazy ass. Got too much dip on your chip.” Ayato taunts, Shuu howls with laughter.

“Fuck you and the dip. I’m the eldest, remember that. Her/Him and I fuck, not you.” Shuu continues to grill the younger Sakamaki.

“HUH?! I’ll kill you.” Ayato’s shouts, you let out a scream, you feel as all their eyes land on you.

“Now that I got everyone’s attention, shut up, my song is playing.” You mutter.

“Cut my life into pieces.” You begin.

As if creating a chemical reaction, the brothers (Subaru and Ayato mainly), begin to play their ‘role’ in the song. Subaru, guitarist, Ayato, the moral support.

“I should’ve burned in that village.” Reiji finally speaks up, his head leaning against the window as the car fills with laughs and terrible singing. Shockingly enough, Kanato was sound asleep, perhaps those edibles did come in handy.

end~

a/n; was in a goofy silly mood and decided to post this short fic for y’all. thinking of posting more like this. fanfic chap 2 is also coming soon ~ ya girls lazy.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Consider a hypothetical Twilight: The Musical. What slice of plot would you adapt as the best fit? Who sings the villain song? Who sings the "I want" song? What's the award-bait song about?

(Bonus points for referencing other musicals to explain this one. Minus points for giving that Denali jerk Sleezy-ar a singing role.)

Caveat

Is it good or is it a cash grab?

The thing about adapting to a musical is it's hard and I have yet to see it done well for something that is a series and not a single film or novel (note I haven't seen any of the Japanese anime musicals but I'm very dubious on how something that when adapted for screen takes 40 hours or what have you can suddenly become a two and a half hour show).

The thing is, even for novels and films, there's usually significant cutting involved to adapt the source material for the musical stage. There's just not enough time to show everything and you have to get creative.

What I'm getting at is what you say, you cannot fit the whole series into one show. There's too much character development that you can't really cut down without it not making sense anymore. If you do only a slice, you then miss out either on resolution of the story or else things needed to make this make sense.

If it's a cash grab, also, they have to hit as many points in the book as possible so the fans will be happy and come in. This means what the musical essentially becomes is just a montage of Edward/Bella moments and skipping through the rest of the plot so that we somehow do manage to get all four books into one show.

Alright, We're Being Serious

In my opinion? The best thing to do would be to do Twilight but make some serious modifications so we can make it seem like the characters go somewhere.

Personally, I'd do an introspective tragic show about Bella's choice on whether to become a vampire or not, what that will mean, and what she'd be giving up.

The plot remains essentially the same, due to strange internal family reasons of her mother remarrying and Bella feeling like a third wheel, she moves to Forks this town she hates. She quickly notices that something's not right with Edward Cullen and when he saves her from a van realizes he's superhuman. Things begin escalating when Bella learns that he's a vampire and he saves her again, giving her a chance to confront her. Edward is in love with her but warns her that being a vampire is a miserable existence and not one he'll ever bestow on her. She meets the Cullens, the James thing happens, and the difference is that I'd end us in the hospital and change the scene a little bit.

Edward has prevented Bella from becoming a vampire, Bella again tells him this means she's mortal and will leave him, he agrees to that and asks her again to consider what she's asking for. Bella then has a moment of introspection where she asks if this is really what she wants, if Edward wants her at all if he keeps wanting her to die, if she can live without her family and her ordinary human life, and whether she's willing to lose everything on the chance that she'll be happy upon being a Cullen.

The show ends with Bella telling her mother that she'll be staying in Forks, cementing her decision to pursue Edward no matter the consequences.

The Structure

Since you said bonus points for other musicals, I imagine the thing to be a lot like Yentl. Bella's the only one who gets to sing and it's her internal thoughts and explanations.

She explains why she's moving to Forks and her home life in the opening number, on her lack of optimism about it, but sense of filial duty in doing so. She sings about noticing Edward's supernaturalness and why the fuck doesn't anyone notice and is she a freak?

The "I Want" number is her singing about how she wants Edward and is in love with him (but really what she wants is to be special herself, someone loved by him, someone like the Cullens).

There's no villain song because while Edward isn't exactly a 'good' character in this (being enigmatic, inhuman, and generally terrifying), he's a temptation and not a villain, and James is not really enough of a character but more a "this is what you might become on taking this path".

And again, the show is about Bella and Bella's choices, the others don't get to have musical numbers as it would distract from the isolation of Bella's thoughts.

The award-bait song is a very Rose's Turn from Gypsy style number where the climactic song is at the end of the show, in which Bella's had this whole time to learn something, and now must make realizations about herself/make a decision of whether she stays in Forks or returns to her mother and goes to Florida.

[fukia]

Fionna & Cake final thoughts , opinions and nitpicks lol

This will be unorganized and random and stinky, sorry

• great pacing first 2 eps

• good ideas

• ignoring multiverse saturation, is p decently done here!

• I miss Neil Patrick’s take on Gary/gumball- he sounded so freakin princely :(

• marshall sounded kinda less mischievous than he used to? Like vocally more down or something- I’m super glad he had the same actor tho lol Donaldddd

• I miss old Prismo voice too but I know why these didn’t work out

• Hunter’s voice either could’ve gone for a deep gravely stoicism or could’ve just been w/ the same actor as Huntress Wizard

• Scarab is ehhh- decent design but feels kinda out of place for adventure time- voice is similarly the same offness too, reminded me of kinda bad anime dub voices, it doesn’t feel intentional to the right extent —- either make a more surreal villain or a funnier one, his presence was rather generic

• the spooky faces and scurrying beetle of scarab was kinda funny

• lemongrab. Why justnonce roiland.

• I will end my life a million aeons over for Orbo - bluey’s dad: “say goodbye to your legs!”

• mmmarceline dress

• bubblegum mmmmilitary

• I wish we saw the fucking MOON vampire

• MOON vs STAR (super cool naming if the uh tarot thing is carried on here I legit don’t know if star is an actual tarot card lemme check)

• ORGALORG WHYYYYYY

• marshall n Gary was sweet- but I really wished they played up the bitter exes part before they did just the fluffy dating, bring a bit of parallel consistency

• fionna was good acting! The crying bit made my heart ouches- Character herself was a tad frustrating at times admittedly

• cake is great still - cake and vampire king hilarious

• why no “the star”’s actual dad :(

• BETH SHERMY GIBBON YES YES YES- back to old adventure time: I love the intro theme for Beth and shermy, it’s so melancholic and desolate, cold, with backgrounds that make this so fascinatingly depressing a turn for the land of oo (happy endings impermanent- life goes on kinda deal, so cool, so consistent with adventure time’s own concepts & “everything stays”)

• Simon and Betty made me emotional

• uhh how old was Betty when she starting dating simon? Just offhand lol I’m sure it was fine

• Golbetty had beautiful scenes

• way better simon and Golbetty than that weird adventure time published comic I’m sure some of you read

• the animation is great on some places, other times while well made, feels out of place for adventure time; like it’s trying too hard to be pretty (not the Ice Prince song, stuff like that made sense for adventure time)

• like some bits reminded me of Steven universe’s inconsistencies (same bits that made me really really dislike some of adventure time distant lands’ execution)

• [funny nitpick incoming] like there were points where the characters had really big eyes even tho they r supposed to be dots (not when exaggerating certain emotions cartoonishly, I meant prolonged); adventure time’s deal is keeping them small and kinda hard to decipher

• some bits were just a tinnny too anime that it bothered me, just some! Anime is cool!!!

• I was really expecting or hoping for a Korra styled multi-season just with lesser episodes

• the resolution was… kinda haphazardly handled

• same with some of the final themes, like w/ simon n betty

• adventure time is kinda known for being almost ambiguously optimistic so the whole super happy thing was kinda strange to me

• I know like it shouldn’t have to be the same as adventure time obviously, but that was the general identity of adventure time; the cosmic ambiguity with absurd humor delivered nonchalantly

• like I think of patience st pim’s ice domain during elements and the melancholic quietness of it - also PATIENCE ST PIM WHYYYYY I LOVED YOU (patiencevstheempresscough)

• ORGALORG COME BACK TO MEEEE

• yes it was a great thing to have this miniseries I enjoyed many parts

• the music was fucking fire!!!

• where was the dr two brains reference ? -3-

[pawbeanies]

tagged by: @emo-mmy !!! hi!!! running around in circles around you thank you for the taggg

im. putting this under a readmore because i realized i like talk so much and then i got embarrassed because this is so long and silly and i go on a billion tangents. tagging games fun though !!!

last song:

covering my face with my sleeve paws i may be silly. lately i am getting into vkei bc beloved people in my life are like "you would like it!!!" and i DO !!! this specific song is actually a cover of the op of the 80s rose of versailles anime which like is in itself a whole other fun thing to talk about because of its like influence but like OK its a good somg. its a good cover. lareine is no longer together but like the members have gone on to do other stuff !!!!

favorite color: pink and blue !! i am indecisive and it swaps... but i like those the most

currently watching: sara z's video on dear evan hansen!! for some reason. my yt algorithm is like all musical theatre videos. or episodes of kitchen nightmares. i don't even think i'm all that into theatre but i like listening to people who know more tear into it

last movie: i was like in agony trying to remember what the last movie i watched was and then i remembered. its twilight. it was twilight. im on a vampire kick right now it seems (but also it was like at a friends house and i was only half watching because they brought their pet rabbit out to hang out with us and i was playing with it the whole time and it was BITING ME !!!!) (but also i was like locked in for the baseball scene. the best scene in all of cinema.)

sweet/spicy/savory: cruel i cannot choose one... trapped between sweet and savory because while i love spicy things i cannot handle them ...... i feel like i like sweet things sliiightly more but. hmhm. like when you eat too many sweet things you end up wanting something savory yknow .....

relationship status: single ........... there is an obvious reason why i think you can tell from my posting (its that im annoying and do not shut the fuck up .........)

current obsession: unfortunately the vampire book series i have been like talking about so much, silver under nightfall and its sequel court of wanderers !! i am thinking of what i wouldve done differently in the sequel fkskfksf (also coming to the horrid realization that they were like setting up pegging but i dont think my guys ever got pegged. whats the point. truly. heres my editors notes. why didnt the main character get pegged? like theres so many things that were set up and mentioned and that didnt come to fruition and thats not my only critique its not JUST about pegging. but the lack of pegging is like representative of many of the issues i have with the book. why didnt he get pegged. they bring it up MULTIPLE times and yet we never saw the strap. they describe it in universe as being "shafted" and YEAH i certainly feel shafted !!! i need answers!!!!!!!! im OPENING my googledocs and writing the fic where he gets pegged !!!!!) this will like pass in a couple days im sure. i think. i hope

um also my fun game blorbos i think. yah

last thing i googled: "pin feathers" like the kind that birds have !! i dont remember the context anymore but they're like. developing feathers on a bird and sometimes they have BLOOD in them and then they are called blood feathers isnt that cool... i wish i was a bird

tagging: not tagging anyone in particular because i'm nervous about tagging people fksjkf BUT if you see this and you wanna do it please pretend like i am !!! tagging you !!! do these !!!!!!!! im tagging you in spirit if you want to do these. tagging you with. my mind. yipee

[blackbutlerfandomnerddomain]

I like the idea of esther being able to fluster people really easily and doesn't even know he's doing it

Hcs of esther doing this with kalim and this new kalim poly?

I will like to first show, with your ask included, this is how much asks I have

Which I thought was funny as Hell

On to the ask!

You know Kalim isn't the only one who gets flustered over Esther being fucking hot okay?

The ones who get the worst of the while thing are; Kalim, Deuce, Azul, Sebek, Riddle, Neige, Rollo, Cater, Jamil, Ace, Epel though he tries to hide it, and Idia

There's very few simple things that Esther does that would get the motor's over heated and one of them is when they sing this song

The moment music starts and bat sings this song everyone just slowly melts at that hypnotic voice and the black nails running through that beautiful hair

Rollo and Kalim specifically get extra "Oh damn" when they get on their knees and get stare at the "crowd" during the whisper

If Amyir is still here and isn't dating Rollo but is instead dating Giles than he teases Rollo A LOT

Another song that gets their heart rates increasing is this one

Oh my Goddness you can not even picture the face on some of their faces seeing them sway with the mic in a super cute skirt or dress

These two are just Esther just getting to singing and the music and literally has zero idea what bat did lol-

If I can bring back a video I showed you, this would be their reactions seeing Esther change and meanwhile they just shrug and keep changing lol

Kalim gets super flustered over the idea of Esther leaning on him and talking near his ear and he just sits there all red like

Arie gets flustered but then he gets Esther back and they're like "What did I even do???"

You know how I said the songs above are a lot of them's flustered songs? Well this could be a Esther thing, or a Esther teamed up with Vil, and Lilia thing and NO ONE would be safe

Each one dressed super hella hot and cute and Crowley had to wonder why some people had vampire bites and high heart rates in the nurse's office after a small school concert (Esther would be Jesse's part, Vil would be Ariana's part, and Lilia would get Nicki's part)

Bat gets Chenya flustered sometimes over random compliments such as "What is your full name? Is it as pretty as your face?" And Chenya just fell over tail puffed and purring and giggles as his arms cover his face

Sleepy Esther does the trick too

Like sleepy Esther in need for blood is one way but just sleepy Esther as in bat comes up to someone, put their face in said person's chest and nuzzles-

As inspired by this wonderful comic from the amazing artist of plenty of ships who if they read this post confused I apologize @ryuichirou, Esther does this too. Sometimes even drop some gaming or anime reference Idia's just on the floor red in the face and hair full pink

Morning voice morning voice morning voice mornING VOICE MORNING VOICE MORNING VOICE MOR-

I know Esther is just straight up cute and knows how to tease well, but straight wholesome Esther crushes Jamil and Neige a LOT. Like, "Oh sorry for the mess I was baking some cookies and some flour spilled, guess black isn't the best for baking" while standing covered in flour giggling in the kitchen

[rottenzombrainz]

Tokyo Debunker OC lore dump!!

I made a Tokyo Debunker OC like all the other cool people in the fandom😼

I am no artist but I tried!!! it's hard to draw when you're a decaying zombie with rigor mortis :/

woo hoo time for a lore dump!!

Her name is Allister (just like me bc it's the best name ever!! defiantly not cus I'm bad with names!) and she's a member of Jabberwock (and by proxy, a ghoul)

Allister's stigma is kinda similar to Jin's? just a little. She can compel people to do things, but it doesn't work best on *people*. Her stigma works better on lower-intelligence creatures which is why she's so good with animals.

Also it's not apart of her being a ghoul, but shes immune to almost all poisons, venoms, and disease cus she's a special snowflake!! She often pesters Yuri to do research on this condition of hers so she has an excuse to hang around Mortkranken and see Jiro.

Allister is a transfer student from America. She moved to Japan after a certain incident... *foreshadows tragic backstory*...

Her special artifact is a butterfly knife that can shrink and grow. It's just barely sentient , so she can control it with her stigma. She often uses it like a boomerang. She also named her artifact "Billie"

Allister is incredibly researched in Cryptozoology and all matters relating to the undead. She's also pretty good with just regular zoology and biology, but she sucks ass in everything else.

She takes care of an anomalous octopus she claims was "gifted to her by The Mighty Cthulhu" (she found it while on a mission). Allister decided "this is my child now" and named the octopus "Kithy". Kithy isn't a baby kraken like Calamari, but he's relatively the same size. Kithy isn't dangerous at all, just very, VERY mischievous. Allister's stigma is why she's such a good candidate to be Kithy's caretaker and in Jabberwock in general. Though she doesn't really have to use her stigma on Kithy since he sees her as her mom anyways. She prefers to work with reptiles, but she loves all animals.

As you may have noticed, Alli is an emo kween 🖤🩸⛓️ She accessorizes to high hell (ignore that she doesn't have many in the artwork) and enjoys pushing the boundaries of the Darkwick dress code >:3

About that tragic backstory I teased a few paragraphs ago.... She left America because her vampire fianceé was murdered by her rival, Lucy. Lucy is this bitch that just likes to fuck with Allister cus she can. "haha I killed the women you were gonna have turn you into a vampire and marry". Typical Lucy shenanigans!!!

Allister, unlike me, is not a lazy decaying zombie, so she does her part to help around Jabberwock - mainly trying to pick up Ren's slack. I imagine the two of them have a sibling-rivarly-like relationship. Also their rooms are right next to each other so they like annoying the other with their music/movie volume.

Allister gets along with the other members of Jabberwock too - she gets along with most people. Except for the Sinostra members.... she despises them for being "the cool ones who get red in their uniform". She also doesn't really like Yuri that much but she sucks up to him anyways so he's more likely to let her hang around Mortkranken

Speaking of uniforms- Allister is constantly changing her fit depending on where she's doing. There's her school uniform, of course, and The Jumpsuit..., but she also has a casual fits she likes to wear when working around the park, usually made up of a band tee and jean shorts. Whenever she's loitering helping out at Mortkranken, she wears a cute little red velvet bodycon dress and a lab coat. Whenever she's out on missions, she goes all out on the wardrobe too. She's a little fashionista ✨

final tidbit of lore for her - Her favorite flower is the Spider Lily, which is also the nickname Towa calls her. There's a lot of meaning to spider lilies. Rebirth and renewal, eternal separation, paying tribute to the dead, and I think all of those really suit her.

I put a lot of love and crying over my lack of art skills into her, so I hope you guys like her at least a little bit 🫶🫶🫶

[kathyprior4200]

Helluva Boss: Mission: Weeaboo-boo (Short 3)

A manilla folder was placed on Blitzo’s desk again. It was near his Boss Bitch mug, open drawer of Moxxie and Millie figures and a manga of an anime character: a woman with long teal hair, wearing a white school-girl skirt and outfit, fox ears and a black pointed tail. She was in a chokehold from a tan demon with long black hair and horns leaning over her.

The folder showed a picture of I.M.P.’s new target, a lady with white skin, periwinkle hair with light blue highlights and purple tinges on the bottom. A black flower was in her hair, and she wore a black jacket with a pink collar and pink outline on the sleeves. She beamed in the photo and did a peace-sign with her hand, posing in front of a demonic convention sign.

“I.M.P. Target: Emberlynn Pinkle

Location: Boring suburbs in a boring town. Rockview, USA.

Description: Gothy 20 something

Info: She shipped Scrimbleson with Shawanathan instead of Blorbinzo 7 years ago, and it’s basically incest or something, not really but dis bitch seems really upset about it.”

In the human world, the night indigo sky was lit by stars and a large white crescent moon. Streetlights illuminated a sidewalk and revealed a suburban neighborhood.

Blitzo popped out from inside the bushes, talking on his cellphone to Millie. His phone cover read “RIDE ME” on it in big red letters.

“Aw, thanks Mils, but I don’t think I need backup to take down some suburban college girl.”

He grinned as he peered over at the girl’s house with lit-up windows.

“You enjoy that bullshit Cats musical with Mox, and stop trying to use me as an excuse to get out of it…”

He held the phone forward and glared. “Hey look, if I had to sit through that French hog shit, well so do you, okay? Bye Mils!”

The phone beeped as he ended the call and leaped out from the bushes.

Blitzo peered through a window and saw Emberlynn’s parents on the couch watching TV, studio laughter coming from the TV. The man was bald with glasses and the woman had long blond hair.

Blitzo chuckled and snaked up a nearby tree. He spotted her through the window. “Oh ho, ho, bingo.” He balanced on the creaking branch, inching closer. “B-Y-N-G-O.” He chuckled darkly before opening the window.

Emberlynn smiled with a pair of headphones on, sitting on a pink chair shaped like a cat. On the video, it showed a demon with sharp teeth talking to a blue-haired girl, “Our souls will be tethered for eternity.”

A grinning Blitzo entered the room and pulled out a sharp deadly red knife.

He did a quiet sing-song voice, “I love killing, shooting things, I’ll use a saw, I’ll use a fork, too! Da-dun, da da.” He stepped in circles then held the knife in his right hand as he inched toward Emberlynn. “I love killing things with any kind of weapon. Give me a knife and I’ll kill someone…” he pointed to her head.

He grinned evilly with sharp fangs, the knife schinked and gleamed… “…and today it’s gonna be a stupid bitch! Da, da…”

He raised his weapon, aiming for her back…

…but was suddenly knocked back by a golden holy force field emanating from a pendant around the girl’s neck. “Oof! Ow, what the FUCK?!”

The knife embedded itself into a demon plushie on her desk by her computer. Emberlynn turned around and screamed, falling off her chair. The video ended on her computer, showing her pink screen wallpaper with vampire fangs and eyes. She then stood up. “Oh!” “Oooh!” She looked lovestruck at Blitzo, hands on her cheeks.

The parents heard the commotion from upstairs. Emberlynn’s dad spoke in a southern drawl. “Ugh, she must be watching them ‘hen-tays’ again.”

Emberlynn’s mom cried, “Why won’t she leave?!”

“Oh my god! What…are you?” Emberlynn asked.

Blitzo stood up in the shadows, snarling. “I’m your worst fucking nightmare, bitch!”

He yelled and charged at her again, but the magical golden shield from the pendant knocked him backward onto the floor.

Blitzo grunted. “Fuck. How are you doing this? What is that?!”

Emberlynn’s pendant was a golden pentagram against light blue. White wings were on the sides of the pendant.

Emberlynn held the pendant in her hands. “It’s official merch from ‘Akuma no Otto’. It’s the pendant given to Setsuki in episode 569 that protects its wearer from…wait are you a demon?”

Emberlynn raised a shaking finger. “Like…a real demon?”

“Yeah, basically,” Blitzo answered. “Look, where did you even get something like…”

“A demon?” she interrupted. “Here to steal a little kitten like me? Forced to be part of your demonic harem, ‘blushes.’” She blushed as pink Japanese love bubbles appeared near her glowing face and pink cheeks.

“Huh? Why would you think I would do something like that?” Blitzo asked, then gasped as he looked around her room.

A body-pillow of Cthulhu wearing pink lacy underwear was against the wall. A female demon statue with a pitchfork was on a shelf along with various monster plushies. A banner read “MONSTE RLOVER PRIDE” on her wall. A poster of a human wrapped in a snake monster lifting weights with its tail read “HISS ME,” and another poster with a sexy blond woman underneath a dark orange dragon read “MELT ME.” “YEE-HAW COWGIRL” was shown on several posters of a centaur romping a nude girl from behind. A bull skull was on another dresser. One poster read “WERE-WOLF!” “BITE ME!” “CHUMP MY RUMP,” and a red-haired mermaid near tentacles had ”nussed me up” in purple. On a shelf was a statue of a giant red dragon holding the hands of a woman bride.

Her books had many titles, “I WANT YOU (BUT YOU MIGHT EAT ME!)” SCALES, A SLOW BURN.” “YOU’RE CLAWS FEEL SO GOOD!” “DEMON DICK? I’LL LICK!” “HE’S DEAD BUT WE CAN MAKE IT WORK.” “MY DRAGON DADDY.” “MY FIRST TIME WITH AN ELDRITCH HORROR.” “MORE SPIKES THE BETTER.” “I’M KNOT (A FURRY)” “MONSTER? I HARDLY KNOW HER.”

“Ohhh, you’re one of those.”

Emberlynn leaned in to Blitzo with a flirtatious look. “So, what’s your name?”

“Uhhh…Blitz.”

She spun around and leaned against the bookshelf. “What are you gonna do to me, Blitzy-kun?” An oar labeled “RAWR” was next to her and a knock-off Charlie Morningstar plushie was on her shelf.

“Uh. Apparently nothing while you’re wearing that.”

“I don’t feel like myself. Are…are you…putting some sort of…nasty spell over me?”

“What? No, I’m literally just standing here, lady.”

“If you say so, master,” she slid down to the floor. She was on her knees. “I mean…daddy.”

She crawled forward. “But when you look into my eyes, it’s like I have no control over my…”  She slowly leaned in, almost kissing him…then she slapped him hard in the face.

“Aaaaahhhkaaay!” Blitzo cried out in pain.

“No! You demonic brute!” She lay down on a table in a pose. “I’m too pure of heart for you to corrupt!”

Blitzo face-palmed. “Oh, thank fucking Satan!”

Emberlynn looked up. “Satan? Is that your lord?” She leaned into Blitzo, hands together. “The one who plan to offer me to as a sexual sacrifice?”

Sweat dripped down Blitzo’s face.

Emberlynn gasped in glee and raced over to rapidly type her fanfiction on her computer…

“The mysterious demon snarled in defiance before Satan. Heat radiated off of him and his glowing eyes blazed with fury. As my demon lover took a stand against his Lord, I felt my love for him burn even hotter than the fiery depths of Hell.

“I won’t let you have her,” my demon hissed with a mutinous glare. “You took my wife from me, Satan. Never again!” Emberlynn Lightness Demoanya Pinkie is mine.”

Satan growled, baring his sharp fangs. My knees trembled at the staggering size of them. He was so close that I could feel his hot breath on my skin, which was exposed as a result of my sacrificial outfit. (Satan’s concubines are forced to wear lace bras, leather miniskirts, combat boots, eyeliner and a smoky eyeshadow look. Also black lipstick. Also I was wearing fishnets.)

“You dare defy me?” Satan roared, his hulking body towering above us. “Hand dover the sexual sacrifice so I may have my way with her.”

“No!” I cried, throwing my arms around my demon lover. “Please don’t let him ravish me over and over! My body belongs to you!”

“She’s mine to ravish over and over!” my demon lover yelled, holding me close.”

“But once you have me, you realize you could never go through with it, because I’m the only woman who could ever make you feel something after the loss of your wife!”

She beamed and her eyes bulged wide with pink hearts and yellow stars in them. Pink sparkles blinked around her face. Blitzo blinked in bewilderment in the background.

Emberlynn stood up, her hands folded in fists. “Your wife…who was the first one your Lord Satan took as a concubine.” She dramatically put her hands to her heart and blinked tears. She posed against her desk. “But now you’d rather have me!”

She put her hands to her chest and fell dramatically to the floor, crawling on her hands and knees, “And you’d rather fight him to the death than allow me to come to the same fate!”

She did a final pose on her knees with a hand over her head and her eyes closed.

“Ew,” Blitzo made a disgusted face, putting his hands forward, backing up. “Lady, look, I was sent here to kill you, alright? You were a bitch online one time, someone didn’t like it, they put a hit on you, I know it’s excessive, but I don’t make the rules, oh well.”

Emberlynn turned her head around. “You want to kill…meee?” She smiled, pointing to her face.

“Oh yeah, even more now,” Blitzo replied with a smirk.

“Of course!” she cried. “You want to take my mortal soul to Hell so that we can be together forever!” She leaned her head back and swayed her butt upward.

Blitzo put his fingers to his face. “Look, whatever gets you there. Can you just take off the necklace and hand over my knife?”

“Yes master!” she cried, hands folded together. Then she gasped, “No, I mustn’t.” Then she leaned in close to his face. “But I want you!” She moved her head back, arm out in front of her. “My soul…” Then she went on her knees, fingers and palms open. “But I’m destined for this!” She collapsed to the floor.

“Bitch, can we hurry this up?” Blitzo asked.

Emberlynn took the knife out from the demon plushie.

“OOOOHHH YEEESSS!” She moaned, using the knife to cut the string on the necklace. The pendant spun across the room and flew out the open window.

“Thanks.”

“Make it quick, my demon prince!” Emberlynn whispered, handing it to him. She leaned into his arms and lowered herself like a dancer, eyes closed.

Blitzo sighed, then stabbed her in the chest. Emberlynn gasped as red blood splattered.

Emberlynn moaned sexually.

Blitzo turned away. “Eugh. Can you please stop enjoying this so much? Fuck.”

“I will see you…on the other side…” she leaned up and whispered, “my…Blitzy-kun…”

A bell tolled as her head moved to the side. Blitzo held her dead body.

“Stab. Stab. Stab.” An unamused Blitzo stabbed her several more times. He then stood up, tapped the crystal on his wrist and disappeared through the pink diamond portal. Blood pooled underneath Emberlynn’s body.

Loona read a book by her desk. Blitzo held his fingers to his face as he talked on his cellphone back at I.M.P. headquarters. “Hey, yeah, it’s done. So you can go ahead and wire me that money now and I’ll go ahead and never think about this night ever again.” He waved his arm.

“I’M HERE, BLITZY-KUUUNNN!”

A familiar voice made Blitzo and Loona freeze with wide eyes.

Blitzo peered out the window behind the blinds.

There was Emberlynn Pinkle in her demon form. She had on the same clothing, except the cat faces on her high black socks had slanted eyes and evil grins. She wore a jacket with a pink paw print in the center where Blitzo had stabbed her. She had the plaid pink skirt, a pink tail with a light blue tip, long pink hair and animal ears. She had black horns on her head, light blue skin with pink freckles, small bat wings and three eyes with pink sclera and blue pupils. Emberlynn had monster features and the features from the woman character from her manga.

“I saw your billboard! I’m here for you, my love!” She went on her knees, hands to her heart. “I’ll be by your side forever! BLITZY KUNNNN!”

Blitzo nervously lowered his head from the window.