#fuck it's definitely 65% the uniform

[candlelightreader]

As I hyperfixate on 911, I'm trying to find Angela Bassett and Peter Krause things to watch.

Angela Bassett is a delight, even though she's all over the map in terms of projects and any of her great stuff I haven't watched yet is not available to stream. I have Waiting to Exhale queued up for a proper movie night though. TV wise, I'm not sure I can stomach American Horror Story. It's as soon as a character makes a dumb decision or the cruelty is just too gratuitous, I'm just unable to keep up. Can't handle the stress of torture porn right now (never finished Asylum for the cruelty). Two episodes down so far, and I doubt I'll go back, even though Bassett looks fantastic in it and there's Kathy Bates. But there's that new show where she's president that I wanna give a chance. Angela Bassett only aged five years in about 30 years so she's easy to watch. Queen Ramunda, you have the Oscar in my heart, baby.

Now, for Krause, even before I landed on 911 recently, I had checked out Six Feet Under (mostly landed there because of Dexter). It's good, but I can't possibly binge it! It's too damn depressing. So it'll have to be one episode every other month or so tbh. I also watched one episode of Sports Night and I love it already. I wanna savour it since it's so short. I just started Parenthood and while it's interesting... I'm not sure I'm up for this kind of family shenanigans set up. I'm just looking to lose myself a little in TV these day, not deal with an ensemble that is one pile of anxiety. Maybe an episode every once in a while? I found him a little annoying in The Lost Room and only finished it to get over the mystery. As for The Catch... I'm debating whether to go back after only about five episodes in. I enjoyed him in it. Very attractive. But again, I'm allergic to characters that make dumb choices for no reason whatsoever and didn't wanna hang around to continue witnessing it after I realized these people made no sense.

But basically, I can't get over how much I don't enjoy young Krause the way I enjoy silver fox Krause. I frankly did not even notice him that much when I first picked up Six Feet Under, which I saw before 911. I remember catching 911 and wondering where I knew that guy! Lol In The Catch, he's more compelling. What I just realized while watching Parenthood is that, frankly, he fills up those polos better as Bobby Nash than as Adam Braverman... And his voice sounds way lower on 911. It's just facts. I do not thirst for a young Krause in the same way! He just simply, objectively, gets more compelling as he gets older. And that voice! Lord.

There! I said it. Give me old man Peter Krause or give me nothing.

[dianight]

This will be long. The theme is time management, but there’s gonna be some rambling.

So among other things, I’ve been trying to get into the Mistborn series. I’ve read The Final Empire and I’m going through The Well of Ascension. I’ll probably finish the trilogy (some novellas too?) and then catch up on some manga, maybe read the Otherside Picnic novels because the manga was too short.

That part is relevant because reading some random thread I came across this video where Brandon Sanderson talks about how he got more time to write during lockdown because travelling used to take a third of the year. Like I know he is a writer as his main job and it is not comparable to most people, but the part I found super interesting was the graph he had.

I’ve done something similar in the past when I was debating whether to quit my job or not. Long story short, the math was telling me that every week I had 30 to 40 hours of free time while work + commute + work related prep (uniforms and such) was taking 65 to 75 (depending on double shifts). Sleep and regular chores were assumed to be 8 hours + 1 hour a day on average.

In reality, on work days I’d get home and be too tired to do anything beyond keeping myself alive. So a work day was like ->

4:00 Get up, shower, breakfast, get dressed. 5:00 Get bus, get a coffee and start working 6:00 Actually start getting paid 16:00 Finish and get the bus, if I miss it is another hour and a half 17:00 Get home, add 30 minutes if I needed to get something from the store

So that would make 3 hours of free time in the best case, which was a non-double shift and no chores that day. Still needed to make dinner, clean myself and try not to die. Then on my off days I’d take it easy, try to recover and not really have the mental energy to do anything complicated.

Back to the graph, 40% of my time was staying alive (sleep, food and general things like hygiene and shopping), 38-44% was working and 16-22% was actually doing things I wanted.

I had one of these epiphanies where I just contemplated what the fuck was I doing with my life at that point. Like. I had a (short at the time) list of things I wanted to do and no time to even start, no energy and barely any money.

So I quit. Hospitality is brutal, underpaid and underappreciated. Got a few different jobs, started to work on my own projects and doing stuff I wanted.

Flashback is not done yet. Barely an introduction.

For the past 2 years I’ve been on the working on the same thing. Not a job, a personal thing that I’m being intentionally vague about. I’ve liked having a big, long term project to work on. But recently I finished it. So after it was over, I wondered what to do.

It’s not like all my time was dedicated to it, but it was definitely my “main thing”. I did participate in a couple tournaments (extra money and it is always fun) and actually a few months where I had a “proper” job.

But I made a list of all the things I wanted. Things to learn, manga/books to read, series to watch, games to play. I’m not a fan of travelling, kinda triggers me. A few minor projects, don’t really have anything quite as ambitious yet. Getting legal HRT is proving to be difficult too, legal stuff and such is a pain.

But looking back at the video, back at that time where I had to use a spreadsheet to see what was I using my time for; I’m lucky that currently I don’t “need to” work, I still do it a few months a year, but I have so much actual free time now.

I was miserable for 6 years, not even getting into identity stuff. Just working while barely saving money and disregarding my health. Not learning, not growing and not living (how dramatic, but true).

The point of all this is: everyone deserves to have time to do the things they want to. It is literally the whole point of being alive.

[erodasfishtacos]

~ MLB Curious Gazes ~

prompt: four different situations where people have run into or hung out with MLB!H - told from their perspective.

word: 6k +

warnings: language, mentions of sexual content

If you enjoyed this please - reblog, like, recommend, comment, and inbox me to chat about it!

please consider donating to my kofi - my work is FREE and it is a great way to show support!

enjoy!

-=-=-=-=-=-

The Doctor’s Office

Aubrey couldn’t believe her eyes as she sat in her uncomfortable, too small chair in the empty waiting room at the OBGYN office in the early hours of the morning. 

She was sitting alone with her baby boy sitting in his carrier on the floor - it was his nine month checkup and it was taking forever to be seen.

The woman was sitting, scrolling on her phone when out of her peripheral she saw an extremely - like extremely handsome man step into the area with a carrier.

Aubrey was a married woman but holy shit this guy was hot- without even trying is the thing. 

He had on a New York Yankees Nike hoodie and a pair of Nike athletic shorts with some calf length Blake Nike socks and trainers.

In the carrier was a fresh little baby, couldn’t be older than three months who was bundled up with a sunflower headband on.

The man was multitasking with a curly haired toddler on his other hip as he finds a seat a little bit down from Aubrey on the opposite side.

His wife was standing up at the check-in and of course it made sense that she was absolutely beautiful as well even though Aubrey could relate to how tired she looked.

The woman still had a small bit of her pregnancy bump left signifying that the baby was indeed very very new to the world.

She keeps glancing over at the man, he looks so familiar but she would remember if she had even met someone that handsome.

Then the context clues hit her, his hoodie, his toddler son was also in a little Yankees hoodie that matched his fathers and Aubrey googled quickly.

Her eyes flitted throughout the recent articles.

Styles’ Alleged $65 Million Dollar Bonus

Hot Head Harry Styles - how he managed to start three bench clearing brawls in one game!

Breaking Records and Bats - Styles manages to break his own record in the same season followed by breaking a bat in celebration

Holy shit.

She could help but watch them - this was much more interesting than reading a magazine.

Aubrey didn’t follow baseball but Harry had turned celebrity status and was this well known cocky dickhead to the media - women and men loved and drooled over him for his looks and his skills.

Right now, he sat down with his two babies - the boy looked exactly like Harry, it was quite unbelievable from the curly locks to mossy green eyes that was copy and paste.

Harry was currently tucking an applesauce pouch between his lips and guiding the boy's small hands to hold it for himself.

“Good job,  ,” He murmurs in the dead quiet waiting room as he tucks him further into the crook of his arm.

Harry looks up to his wife who joins them, she is a bit in awe when Aubrey sees him palm a bit at her bloated belly and whisper, “Y’look gorgeous today, mama.”

Aubrey couldn’t help but frown, she wished her husband did that.

YN sits down, leaning her head on his shoulder - Aubrey didn’t know her but she seems tired - of course she was a new mother.

The silence is broken when a nurse comes out and with an apologetic face says, “I’m sorry, we are running really behind today. It might be another thirty minutes,” before shutting the door again.

Harry kisses his wife’s forehead before wrapping his unoccupied arm around her shoulder, a flashing gold band on his ring finger.

Aubrey zones off for a little when her son wakes up, rocking the carrier a few times before he settles again.

She’s brought back to the couple when she hears a sniffle comes from Harry’s wife and his face turned towards hers, hand rubbing her shoulder reassuringly.

“Mama, she’s so healthy. There’s nothin’ to worry about, did a perfect job growing her in y’belly. I know these check-ups make you anxious but nothin’ is gonna be wrong,” He soothes, a near whisper because of how quiet the room is and he didn’t want to disrupt.

“I just don’t know if she’s been getting enough milk, it’s so hard to tell,” YN replies sadly, like she’s disappointed in herself.

“Y’kidding me? She’s our chunkiest baby - look at those little rolls. She’s on y’tits more than any of the boys including me,” He jokes softly, obviously trying to make her feel better.

It seems to work a little bit because she lets out a light giggle with a roll of her eyes, “No one is on them more than you.”

Harry shrugs unashamed before replying seriously, “Everything will be okay. She’s perfect and healthy.”

The curly haired little boy gets a bit squirmy with the wait after he finished his pouch, asking to be set down which his father does.

Harry is watching him carefully, his nervous but still adventurous little two and a half year old, as he toddles around the waiting room.

When he spots Aubrey and her carrier, he wanders over looking up her with wide curious eyes, he points at her son and squeaks, “Baby?”

Ever the diligent father, Harry is up and next to his son, Aubrey is a bit starstruck if she’s honest when he talks to her.

“M’sorry, he’s a curious little one,” Harry smiles at her, going to pick Ezra back up to guide him away from bothering her.

Aubrey waves her hand though, lifting the visor to show the sleeping baby, “Yeah, he’s a baby. That’s Dominic.”

The boy gazes at the baby before lisping, “Bry!”

Aubrey isn’t sure what he means but his father clarifies, “You’re right, Dominic is a baby just like your little sister Briar.”

“Okay,” Ezra shrugs and goes back to his mom to inform him of what he just discovered before crawling up and cuddling into her chest.

Harry nods, “Thanks for indulging him.”

“No pro-problem,” She stutters like an idiot and Harry smiles a bit like he knows but doesn’t say anything else before going back to his family.

A few minutes later when a high-pitched cry resounds through the room, Harry is carefully cradling his daughter who Aubrey notes looks nothing like him but like her mother even though her features were still so little.

“Shush, darlin’,” Harry coos with a soft drawl, leaning in to kiss at the newborn’s button nose.

Briar roots at her father’s chest, smacking her plump lips, and squeaking in frustration when she doesn’t find a nipple. It makes Harry chuckle before he glances at his wife and his smile falters a bit, “Sweetheart, did y’bring a bottle?”

Aubrey watches his wife shake her head, she is facing away from her so she can’t see her expression but gauging Harry’s it seems that she may be upset, “No, I completely forgot. I didn’t bring my nursing blanket either - I’m going to have to go the bathroom. M’being such a bad mom.”

The observer feels a pang in her chest, she can definitely relate to not always feeling like she is a good mother because of little mistakes she makes like forgetting diapers, buying the wrong formula, forgetting to bring a pacifier.

“Hey,” Harry’s voice is firm, “Y’not going to talk like that when s’the farthest thing from the truth. S’okay, we have four babies, we’re both goin’ t’forget things sometimes, okay? Here, let me help you.”

Aubrey wishes she had a husband who was as empowering, supportive of his wife.

He hands the whimpering baby over to his wife, he’s then tugging off his hoodie. Aubrey tries but fails to divert her eyes when his shirt rides up revealing  a glimpse of his taut abdomen and a light dusting of hair leading into his shorts, obscene tattoos covering his hipbones .

Harry maneuvers the hoodie over his wife’s shoulder, helping her tug down her loose shirt and nursing bra, and guiding his newborn to his wife’s breast until she latches and starts suckling hungrily.

“There y’go mama,” He whispers encouragingly before tugging Ezra back onto his lap to rock him a bit as he’s getting whiny - ready for a nap soon and not liking being in an unfamiliar place for too long.

-

Aubrey is buckling Dominic into his carseat when she spots the other family exiting the office. 

Harry’s wife looks much more relaxed, a smile on her face, and her arm tucked around her husband’s narrow hip, they’re parked close to each other, and Aubrey climbs into her small sedan - blasting the aircon.

She watches the parents strapp their kids into a massive, tinted and brand new cadillac escalade that was no doubt over a hundred thousand dollar car but who could expect them to be driving around a mid-level minivan?

After the kids are secured and they close the doors, Harry presses his wife up against it with his arm resting over her shoulder against the window. He is whispering to her, their mouths close before he ducks down to connect their lips.

His hand comes back to her deflating baby bump like he did in the doctor’s office, hand massaging the skin with adoration that was visible even to Aubrey as she sat in her car watching them.

Later on in the week, as she sits on her couch, a video pops up on her timeline. It’s a sports report she was about to skip until the name caught her attention. 

The sports reporter stated, “Harry Styles was fined an alleged sixty thousand dollars at last night’s game after getting into a verbal altercation when the second base man purposely tripped him.”

It flashes to the man she just saw in the doctor’s office in a form-fitting Yankee’s blue and white striped uniform with a helmet on as he ran at an impressive speed from first to second, stumbling when the baseman put out his foot.

Harry recovers quickly enough to touch the base to be considered safe. 

After that though, he’s pushing himself up and brushing off the dirt, then he’s charging towards the man who fucked up the play. 

He has no fear as he gets in the man’s face, veins on his neck standing out as he shouts. They don’t play the audio but you could tell Harry was cussing this man up and down.

It flashed back to the reporter speaking to another, “Nearly every team in the league reports that Styles is an absolute nightmare to play against from his skill to his downright arrogant and cocky attitude. He’s not someone I’d find myself wanting to hang around.”

“I agree with you there, Tucker. He has a right to be proud with all of his broken records and achievements but being a bit humble would do this man so good. I feel sorry for his wife and kids. He probably just spends all day bragging about himself.”

Aubrey clicks off the video, if only everyone in the world just saw the Harry Styles she saw just a few days ago - well they’d all change their minds on what kind of person he is. Especially what kind of husband and father.

--

The Charity Event

It was a charity event at Madison Square Garden in Time Square. 

It was for all Major League Baseball teams who had qualified for the playoffs and of course, The New York Yankees were there.

There were tables filling the whole stadium, extravagant in white linen tablecloths, multiple bars, and it was black tie dress code. 

It was a private event and it was not open to the public but after the dinner there would be awards given out and that would be broadcasted.

Nicole was there with her husband, Trent, the left outfielder with an average batting score. He wasn’t the most popular on the team by far - well everyone got outshined by Styles. 

She couldn’t help but be a little bitter that Harry had gotten a $60 million dollar bonus (the biggest bonus ever gifted but also the Yankees were not taking any chances at losing their star and their ultimate money-maker). Trent got a measly bonus of $100,000 which was nothing in baseball terms. 

The wives and girlfriends of the Yankees players did not like YN one bit. It really wasn’t fair because she was always lovely, kind, and friendly. It didn’t matter because they were all spurred on by jealousy of what she had.

Nicole couldn’t help by gaze at Harry as they sat at the same circle table towards the podium where the awards would be presented after dinner. He was in a sharp all black suit with a small team logo pin of the lapel.

She couldn’t deny how stunning YN looked in an absolutely stunning dress. It was a one-shoulder with sparkling black stripes against a tan background, it fit like a glove and accentuated her stunning legs with a high slit. ***

It blew Nicole’s basic black Gucci dress out of the water which made her even more infuriated at the woman. She knew she was being irrational and if she hated her so much, why couldn’t see stop staring at the couple?

Nicole could get away with it by looking past them at other tables but to be quite honest, the two were much too wrapped up in each other to be aware of any of their surroundings or people watching them.

Trent was off bullshitting with all the other players while the Styles’ sat at the table and Harry waited for people to approach him - like the cocky asshole that he was. He would give them a minute of his time before becoming visibly bored and returning his attention back to his wife.

As the appetizers arrived, Trent finally sat down with a grunt, giving his wife literally no attention as he dug into the salad like a slob. 

Across the table, Harry looked down at his plate, picked out all the tomatoes and stabbed them with his fork. He then brought his hand over to his wife who giggled and let him feed her the three little tomatoes for his salad.

“Don’t like tomatoes, Styles?” Henry, third-baseman, jokes as he watches him feed his wife without any shame.

“I love ‘em, m’missus just really like the little grape ones,” Harry shrugs casually - like that didn’t just sound like the most whipped thing that he could say.

Trent probably couldn’t even guess Nicole’s favorite color - let alone know something so minuscule like YN like the little tomatoes that come on house salads. 

Throughout the whole dinner, it was quite disgusting how infatuated these two were with each other - Harry had at least one hand on her body at one time - her thigh, shoulder, even cupping her neck in a way that was almost too intimate for the setting.

At one point, Harry notices that YN is a bit quiet - sipping on her glass of water and he pulls back from the conversation, murmuring, “Y’alright, mama?”

Nicole bites her lip hard at the cute pet name, feeling even more dislike towards YN - why couldn’t she have had someone like Harry?

“D’you think the babies are okay? Ezra’s been so anxious lately,” YN replies quietly, there were no phones allowed at the event and had to be left at home or at the door.

Harry kisses her temple, “Y’know Ezzie is good with m’mum, doesn’t get as anxious as he used to at sleepovers. Y’know East and Cash are probably on a sugar high.”

YN nods, agreeing and Harry jumps right back into the conversation but she notices that he keeps looking over at his wife to check on her.

Trent accidentally knocks her elbow hard and just grunts out a bland, “Sorry.”

The topic changed to traveling for games. Ellie, another wife of a player who was nice to YN were chatting about how stressful it is.

“I know, loading all three boys up is rough when we do decide to travel to games with H,” YN says to Ellie, a small smile on her face.

“Ugh, I know. Lily and Parker are the worst flyers! They usually end up throwing up or not being able to nap at all,” Ellie groans about her two little ones she has back at home.

YN let’s out a laugh that just irked Nicole to not end.

“It's going to be even harder when we have more kids,” YN laments like she’s bothered.

“Oh? More kids?” Ellie squeaks with excitement, clapping her hands together.

Nicole reaches a breaking point, jumping into the chat,“Really? More kids? Don’t you think you should focus on the ones you have? Or do you think because your husband makes an unfair amount of money, you can just have as many as you want? Hire nannies and act like you take care of them?”

Before YN frowns, about to respond when Harry interjects with a booming, displeased voice, “First off, why don’t y’mind your own fuckin’ business. My wife and I can ‘ave any many kids as we want, last time I checked.”

He continues with tense posture, all of his previous calmness disappears, “Second off, don’t take it out on my wife tha’ your husband got a shit bonus, we all know tha’ why y’pissy. And don’t act like y’dont have a nanny for your one kid while we don’t nor ever will have one.”

Nicole sneers, “You’re a cocky bastard.”

Harry smiles in faux charm, “Of course I am, dear. I’ve got a fucking beautiful wife, three healthy babies, the most records broken in history, and the fattest bank account in this room.”

“Alright, alright,” Trent interrupts and it doesn’t go unnoticed that he doesn’t defend his wife. Instead he shoots Harry an apologetic look for his wife’s behaviors.

Harry just scoffs at the couple, rudely rolling his eyes, and tugging his wife in for a kiss that’s a bit too intense but he can’t help himself, smiles against her lips when his wife pinches his thigh playfully.

He says (not quietly at all), “All these women are jealous of you, hm? S’cause you’re so beautiful and such a fuckin’ catch.”

Nicole feel a sharp pang in her chest at the indirect comment - fucking asshole.

Deep down, Nicole is unfavorably realizing that somehow YN has it all - a loving husband, who is seemingly head over heels four her, three well-behaved children, and everything she could ever want - sitting on Harry’s $600 million dollar net worth, on top of being gorgeous.

She didn’t have that. Trent and her were on the rocks constantly, has definitely cheated on her, their kid is a literal nightmare, and they’re both so reckless with money they have no savings.

It made her jealous to see Harry whispering in YN ear to make her giggle- lips brushing her ear, his hand splayed across her bumcheek while they waited for drinks at the bar, she even hears them murmur ‘I love yous’ at least twice.

Then the lights dim, spotlight on a podium in the front of the room, an older man in a crisp navy suit taking the stage.

“It is an honor for me to announce ‘Player of the Year.’ The decision by the board of Major League Baseball wasn’t a hard one. The statistics and records broke continuously by the man has led us to only one option.”

Everyone watches all the other players in room deflate a bit because they realize the award is going to Harry yet again.

 “He is again breaking a record tonight, he is the first player to earn this achievement four years in a row. The duality of this man when it comes to pitching a curveball or hitting a homer is truly remarkable.”

It makes all the players even more irritated than they already are when they look over at Harry who’s sitting back, manspreading, hand on the back of his wife’s neck gently, and a cocky, unbothered grin.

Like this award wasn’t the biggest accomplishment he could earn.

One of the players from an opposing team at a different table mutters to one of his teammates, “Fucking arrogant asshole. The only thing this award does is feed his gigantic ego.” 

“Such a douchebag,” The other agrees, jealousy tinges his voice.

“I’ve most likely made it obvious who the the recipient is this year. The New York Yankees pitcher with the most strikeouts to date and top-scoring hitter - Mr. Harry Styles!”

The crowd erupts in applause, whistles, and a standing ovation because despite his unsavory demeanor - no one could deny he was a legend.

Before he gets up, Nicole watches as he cups his wife’s cheek - locking her lips in a kiss before she has to give him a playful shove when he tries to slip some tongue.

When Harry gets up to the stage, he shakes the hand of the announcer and takes the award from him, setting it on the podium.

“Fourth year in a row has a nice ring to it,” Harry gives the crowd a dazzling white smile that have his dimples digging into his cheek.

The crowd whistles and coos.

Nicole notices YN getting teary-eyed as she watches her husband accept the award.

“I want t’thank a few people tonight. I want t’thank m’wife and the mama of my babies - YN. She’s supported me from when I was in college with no other career path but baseball, unsure of if I’d fail or not, she stuck through it.”

She can sense everyone’s eyes dart over to YN who is still staring up at her husband - who is giving her a gleaming smile right back.

“We’ve been through some really hard obstacles in our first years as a couple but she’s the reason for all this - the fact that she always believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself.”

The audience is respectful, quiet as he publicly tells a story of his deep love for his wife.

“I want t’thank m’three babies. Easton, Cash, and Ezra. They inspire me to be a better better man and a good role model - even though I think y’all agree they won’t be if they watch too much how I play when I’m out in the field.”

The crowd erupts in laughter at Harry poking fun at his own antics that he’s most famous for. He goes on to thank the team, coaches, Nike, everyone on the professional side of career.

When he’s done, everyone stands back up to congratulate him, patting him on the back as he returns to his seat.

Nicole watches as Harry sits back down, chuckling as he swipes a tear off his wife’s cheek, “Why y’crying, mama?”  

“I’m just so proud of you. Everything you do for me and our babies. The best husband, best daddy. My heart is just full,” She murmurs, clearly not meant for others to hear but Nicole was eavesdropping.

Harry’s eyes darken with something Nicole can’t identify but does notice his hand creeping a bit further up her thigh.

He leans into whisper something into her ear before she sees his lightly nip at her lobe before pulling back to join into the conversation.

-

After the lights come back up, Trent abandons her to go shoot the shit with other guys.

When she trails off to the bathroom, down a long hallway from the main area - she hears a rustling from behind a door labeled with a plaque that says ‘executive meeting room’.

Nicole pauses confused, all these offices and other rooms were strictly off limits during events obviously. She was confused to hear someone in a room that was not supposed to be in use.

Then she realizes it’s not just someone - it’s two people.

“S’good, sweetheart. Give it t’me so good.”

And she knows right then and there all she needs to know about who’s in that conference room and what they were doing.

“Be quiet, you’re being too loud,” YN scolds back, the walls were clearly thin because she could hear the exchange.

“Make y’cunt not feel like heaven then,” He remarks back, his voice slower and more soft than it would be in front of people.

God, Trent and her haven’t slept together in ages - let alone has spontaneous hookups or dirty talk like that ever.

When they all end up back at the table before the closing speech for the night, Nicole spots a nicely sized mark under Harry’s jaw that he’s wearing with pride.

YN had her lipstick wiped off and was much more clingy as the night rolled on which Harry seemed to thrive on.

As she and Trent are on their way home, Nicole speaks into their silence, “I don’t think our relationship is working.”

Not after she saw love and happiness at that event table tonight - she wanted that kind of love not settling for some cheating asshole.

-

The Little League Game

It was a cool autumn evening, it was an important game - if you could call it that for the little league team that Kayla had her son on.

The goal was to determine which team would move onto the playoffs, even though most of this was all in good fun because it was for eight-year-olds and it wasn’t serious.

Kayla couldn’t lie and say that she didn’t spend some of the time curiously gazing at the New York Yankees player who would come to watch his son play.

He wasn’t at every game due to his schedule but it seemed like he came to whatever ones he could with his wife and other three kids.

They had taken the bench on the bleachers right below her so she had an up close and personal view of the family when they’ve never sat this close before.

As the kids warmed up, Harry had his youngest son who looked to be about four sit next to him, squished between his dad and mom happily.

Their middle son was next to his mom on the other side, looking to be about six, and he was wriggling impatiently in his seat - eager to join the other kids in the jungle gym.

The baby girl who looked about a year and a half old didn’t look anything like her brothers - it was obvious that she was a spitting image of her mother (who was stunning).

She was curled up in her mom’s lap, asleep with her face squished against her mother’s chest - a pacifier suckling fiercely between her puffy lips.

“Mama, please,” The curly haired boy begs with greedy puppy dog eyes as he keeps glancing back to look at the other kids.

“You stay right where daddy and I can see you, yes?” YN murmurs, brushing back his unruly curls that where getting long, “And what are our rules?”

“Stay where you can see, don’t talk to strangers, and be nice to others,” He recites perfectly, Kayla was a bit blown away by his manners.

She watches baseball. It was hard to believe their children were so mild mannered when their father was the exact opposite - at least on the field.

Harry was rustling in the diaper bag for something as his son looked at him with wide, concerned eyes, “My baby, daddy.”

“I know, Ezzie. M’lookin’ f’your baby,” His father replies softly, the polar extreme of his normal brash, crude language that had a nasty tone like he couldn’t bother giving people the time of day.

“Daddy, please,” The youngest whines, his little hand grasping at his father’s tattooed wrist as he gets to his knees to help his dad look.

“Left inner pocket,” YN murmurs offhandedly as she makes sure Cash gets to the playground safely with his friends.

“Say ‘thanks mama’,” Harry coos to his son as he manages to tug out the baby doll and hand it to the awaiting little boy.

“Thanks mama,” He replies instantly with a gapped smile as he nuzzles right back into his father’s side as if he can’t get close enough.

“How are you feeling, Ezra?” His mother leans over to ask, keeping the baby close to her chest.

“M’happy, mama,” Ezra replies simply before starting to babble to himself as he plays with the babydoll.

Kayla watches Harry and YN swap a fond look at their son but she couldn’t help but wonder why they asked him that? He seemed fine so why did they feel the need to do that?

The game is going okay, Harry stands up to cheer and whistle when Easton hits a two-base hit but YN smacks his thigh and motions to their sleeping baby.

He looks at her sheepishly before sitting back down, kissing her cheek in apology, and peeking down into the fleece blanket to watch his daughter sleep for a moment.

Then it seems like Easton starts to lose momentum after he pitches two home-runs, his face pinched in disappointment as the other team scores but Harry is attempting to keep him motivated with encouraging shouts.

Easton struggles from then on, he strikes out for his final three turns, doesn’t catch two pop-ups, and his pitches start to get a little shaky. It’s obvious in his facial expression he’s getting upset because he’s breathing heavier like he’s trying not to cry.

Kayla feels a sense of dread for the little boy, his father who’s the best baseball player in modern day history is watching his son not do well during an important game.

 Because of what she knows of him from his temper and attitude on the field - she worries that he’s one of those father’s who will hound their kid for doing poorly.

“Oh, c’mon East,” Harry murmurs softly when his son stumbles over a ground ball before another kid picks it up and throws it in - their son smacking his glove down against the ground in frustration.

“He’s getting himself worked up,” YN notes as she watches her oldest kick his cleats in the dirt with a quivering bottom lip.

“I know,” Harry replies to his wife, “Wish he wouldn’t, he’s gettin’ upset out there, I can tell.”

“Sad?” Ezra squeaks, clambering onto his father’s lap and stating, “Hold me, daddy.”

Harry obliges easily, gathering up his small son before his attention is directed back onto the game - it was down to the last few minutes and unfortunately Easton pitched a ball that resulted in a home run for the other team.

“Fuck,” Harry mutters, running a hand through his messy locks before he’s setting Ezra back down on the bleachers, “I’m going to go talk to him. Do you want to meet back home?”

YN nods, leaning down to tuck the baby into the double stroller before buckling Ezra in as well, “I’m going to go get Cash and head out. Why don’t you take him out for some ice cream? I love you.”

“I love you too, mama,” He replies, kissing her softly before kissing both of his kids foreheads and stepping down the bleachers - ignoring all the adults who are staring at him with a starstruck expression as he heads to the dugout.

It cleared out fast, nobody sticking around after the loss that ended with them not continuing on to the championship, and Easton was sat on the bench - he was stoic and there was a hard, angry expression on his face that reminded Kayla of what she saw Harry look like when he played.

As she gathers up her son and makes sure he’s got all of his equipment, Kayla stands and chats to a few of the moms before she’s heading to her car - which happened to be parked next to a sleek Masserati crossover, who would let their muddy kid go in there? Rich people, she guesses.***

Kayla pops the trunk to her van with her key as they get closer, she notices that Harry also has his up and Easton is sitting on the tailgate with his eyes looking down at the pavement. She tries not to appear as nosey or eavesdropping as she tucks her items into the back.

“Sweetheart, s’okay. Y’did so so good tonight,” Harry assures his pouty son, he squats down to start to untie his son’s nike cleats but continues to make eye contact with him. 

“No, I didn’t, Daddy!” Easton whines, tears finally starting to bubble over the surface as he begins to sob with a shuddering chest, “I gave up home runs and then I missed ground balls!”

“Whoa, bubby,” Harry simpers after he tugs off the shoes and throws them carelessly into the back before standing up, “Y’did amazing, are you kiddin’? You did three innings of strikeouts, hit two of y’own homeruns. Y’played like a professional, way better than daddy.”

Kayla’s heart aches a bit when she sees Harry sit down next to him before hugging him harshly into his side, thumbing at the tears that are running down his son’s sweaty cheeks with soft reassurances.

“Daddy, are you mad I didn’t win?” Easton asks shakily, keeping his head buried into his father’s side and his small hand clutching into the fabric of his hoodie.

Harry chuckles lowly, “Daddy would never be mad at you f’anythin’, definitely not a baseball game. Remember what mama and I said? If at any point y’want to stop playin’, just let us know and we can find something else, yeah? Just like how Ezzie does art classes.”

Easton seems to calm down after a few moments of Harry rocking him and reassuring him of what an amazing son he is.

As Kayla drove away that night, her perspective on the all-star baseball player definitely changed. It was refreshing to see someone to not hold their child to an unreasonable expectation just like she thought Harry would.

--

The Campfire

Austin was the shortstop on the baseball team, he’d brought along his girlfriend, Chelsea, to the frat party to celebrate another win.

Everyone was in whispers that Harry was bringing his new girlfriend but nobody knew who she actually was because it was just a rumor.

It was surprising because Harry wasn’t a relationship kind-of man. He wasn’t into hookups much - always said he needed to focus on baseball.

Many of his teammates were envious of how many girls were constantly coming up to Harry at parties to flirt and try to get a dance in but he had always rejected them.

Harry had never showed interest in any of these girls at the parties, never seen him disappear upstairs with one or really entertain a conversation over a beer like they’d expect.

Chelsea pokes his shoulder and nods towards the entrance when Harry walks in with his arm around YN’s shoulder.

Most were in a little shock because they seemed like such an unlikely couple - YN had written some scathing articles about him and it was no secret he hadn’t been a fan of her.

“Holy shit, Harry’s dating YN?” Chelsea whispers to Austin as the group of party-goers cheer and whistle at the allstars appearance.

“Guess so,” Austin replies with a shrug, tugging Chelsea into the kitchen for a drink.

Later on that night, there’s a bonfire on one side of the backyard and a volleyball net on the other where a group was gathering to play.

Austin and Chelsea are on the opposing team of Harry and YN - she can’t help but watch them with curiosity because of what a surprise it is that they’re dating.

Even Austin has been watching because Harry’s acting in a way that he’s never seen throughout his time on the team with him.

Harry is just all over YN which was confusing how he went from not being remotely interested in the college girls to being a lovestruck puppy.

When she throws the ball up to serve, Harry reaches over and pinches her bum which makes her squeak and accidentally drop the ball which has him cackling as she glares at him.

As they change positions, he crowds up behind her, and massages her hips, leaning down to murmuring something in her ear.

She blushes wildly before smacking him off which has him laughing hard and kissing the back of her head before taking his position.

After Harry jumps and spikes the ball hard, earning them the winning point, YN turns around and wraps her arms around him to hug him tightly.

Harry wraps his arms around her shoulders, returning the hug before pulling back to kiss her lips in a soft peck.

Chelsea elbows Austin, “Who’s that and what did they do with Harry?”

Austin shakes his head, “I really don’t fucking know.”

The group migrates over to the fire as they might become cooler and the stars are high up in the sky, the fire flickering orange and yellow crackles of sparks.

Harry plops into a chair, pulling YN right onto his lap, and she wriggles until she’s comfortable. Chelsea notices him tap her thigh as if telling her to cut it out, too much motion right on his crotch.

Jake, one of his teammates, says in a teasing tone, “YN, I’m surprised to see you around these parts . I clearly remember a strongly worded article about how stupid frat parties are.”

YN takes it in stride, smiling as she replies, “And this party just proves my point.”

The group laughs easily, they enjoy YN’s sharp wit and comebacks as they get to know her. Austin can’t help but to notice how quiet Harry is.

Normally, he’s the life of the party, loud and making his presence known to everyone but not tonight. He has his chin propped on her shoulder and she’s cuddled back into his chest.

Austin can’t make out what Harry is saying but he’s constantly whispering in her ear and accentuating each time with a squeeze to her thighs.

“Are you guys official?” One of the teammates asked bluntly, a few beers deep by this point in the night.

Harry replies instantly, a possessive squeeze, “She’s mine and off the market, s’don’t even think about it.”

“Well I don’t think it matters because she’s turned down the whole baseball team by this point. I think everyone tried to ask her out at least once,” Steve jokes as the others agree.

“Tha’s m’girl,” Harry murmurs to her before teasing his friends,“Who’d want to go out with any you? You’re all dickheads.”

Everyone continues to joke around, it’s nearing midnight and that’s right about when Harry gets in his prime - like the party just started.

But not tonight.

YN’s eyes start to flutter shut as everyone banters and drinks around the fire, obviously not used to these late night parties.

“I better get this one t’bed,” Harry states after a few minutes, thumbing at YN’s cheekbone as she tries to stay awake.

“I’m okay,” She mumbles weakly, head still heavy against his shoulder.

“You’re coming back though, right?” Kyle asks expectantly, brows furrowed.

Harry shakes his head, “Nah, m’in for the night when she is.”

All the players look at him with a bit of a dumbfounded look, Steve shooting out, “Who knew you’d be so pussy whipped, Styles?”

Chelsea’s eyebrows raise at the crude comment, waiting with bated breath as Harry’s jaw clenches as it seems like he’s biting his tongue.

“Goodnight,” Harry says in a tone Austin has never heard before - agitated and almost…offended.

When Austin and Chelsea are sneaking up to his room for a late night hook-up, she overhears Harry and YN in his bedroom.

At first, she thinks they’re in an actual argument but as she listens to them - it’s not the kind of arguement she thought it was.

“You’re always the little spoon,” YN groans from behind the closed door.

Harry squawks, affronted before huffing back at her, “S’my favorite, please spoon me, darling?”

“You’re so fucking spoiled,” YN giggles as Chelsea assumes they move into a position where Harry’s the little spoon.

“Mm, I like feelin’ y’tits against my back, s’nice,” Harry hums with a boyish tone.

Chelsea doesn’t even realize she’s smiling until Austin drags her from her stupor. 

All she knew was that Harry Styles really really fancied that school reporter.

-=-=-=-=-=-

If you enjoyed this please - reblog, like, recommend, comment, and inbox me to chat about it!

if you’ve ask to be on my taglist and you’re not here - please check your settings because i’ve tried to add you and it didn’t work.

taglist babies (thank you): @dioc4ne @hazgoldenstyles @harrysdimple05 @wonwooen @ficnarry @leeroysdancer @harrysloveheart @harryscherrysugar @pradastardust @rish-haz @wildcstdrexms @evanstylestan @wisetoadbonkbiscuit @meredithhuntt @tpwkvictoria @lovely-him @haymix @eiffelmezarry @pilgrim-harry @soullessbabee @afterglowstyles @tulsasjesus @elenagilbert01 @meh–mood @pretty-pop-princess-hs @msolbesg @localfalsegodstan @evanjh @i-just-like-fanfics @harrys-hs-gf @lightsupdoyouknowwhoyouare @afterglcwswift @harrystyles-tpwk @amyvandijk @godilovetheenglishx @harrys-cherrry @theprofessionalfanby @your–sweetest–downfall @la-cey @bdbtchdir @killerqueencapstan @elizabeth23567 @camflowervol6 @its-a-finee-line @rish-haz @solonelytobe @nav1234 @harrynamjoon @hopefullimaginer123 @westallenhes @awesomebooklover17 @will-be-a-fineline @vasilikir5 @your–sweetest–downfall @pretty-pop-princess-hs @harrynamjoon @harrypinks @ivyirenehoax @harryspink @sunsetcurve-h @goldenstylesh @mouthfulloftoothpastehs @hello-34583 @prettylovley @nicolecarsley @lamariettes @imavirginhoe @unknown7549 @mellamolayla @kiwitsayedsugar @hopefullimaginer123 @harrysmatcha @weaslettesstuff @saintsmotels @hi-yekaterina @aubreyfineline @harrysgoldenbum @ebstylesx @goldeng1rl8 @tnqueen @percysaidnever @bebecalpal @virtuallybaby @rbforsmileycal @televisionboy @evanjh @lolzskye @haroldpotterson @pandxthings @leeroysdancer @summersylesxplr @cherriesrae 

[bratshaws]

goodness gracious 90. brb x oc

THIS FIC IS 18+ ONLY! MINORS PLS DNI!

a/n: I can't believe these two goobers are getting married!!!I HOPE YOU GUYS ARE AS EXCITED AS I AM

check out the fic's playlist made by the sweet @wiipes !!

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: fluff, THEN SMUT HELL YEAH

chapters:

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44

45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64

65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73/74/75/76/77/78/79/80/81/82/83/84

85/86/87/88/89

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!)

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2

@emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads @bigpoppajes

-

“I can’t believe you managed to get everyone to help you with this.”

Bradley smiles with the glass of water tilted to his lips, giving his now fiancé a shrug, “I wanted it to be special but not too flashy,I know you’d like to be in a place you are familiar with.” Beatrice’s cheeks turn red at the thoughtfulness, looking down at her engagement ring, turning her finger this way and that so the light touches the gems, creating a rainbow effect on her knuckles.

After getting back to the Hard Deck, crying some more, being hugged by everyone, crying again but this time with Shells and then having Mav’s blessing, both of them got back home. Jolene was more than happy to see Brad again, considering the pittie hadn’t left his side ever since he got back, sitting by his feet while he drank water, “And with people you were comfortable with.”

“I really liked it.” she whispered, her eyes never leaving her engagement ring, “It’s…I can’t believe we are engaged…I…” she laughs breathlessly, shaking her head, “I was going to bring it up with you, you know?” he lowers the glass with his eyebrow going up in question, “Marriage. I mean I knew I wanted to be with you but I…was nervous to say it, I guess.”

Bradley puts the glass inside the sink, pushing himself away from the counter so he steps closer to Beatrice, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her flush against his chest, “Would it help to say I was nervous too?”

“Really?”

“Oh fuck yeah,” he chuckles, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, “I was shaking all the way home, especially when I went to see your parents.”

Beatrice’s eyes shone with amazement, “...you asked my parents for permission?”

“Of course.” he says as if it was obvious, giving her a confused smile, “I wasn’t going to pop the question with your parents unaware of it, especially your dad.”

Beatrice’s lips parted in a quiet giggle, her cheeks darkening as her eyes dropped to the ring, “That’s so…romantic. I didn’t think people did that anymore.” but of course she wouldn’t put it past Rooster who has proven time and time again he was literally the most perfect man that ever existed. Beatrice looks up at him with a smile, “Thank you.” she whispers, leaning up to kiss his lips, running her hands down his white uniform and stepping back to give a better look, “You…look really good.”

Rooster smirked, “Yeah?”

“Yes.” she bites her lower lip, admiring the way he filled that uniform was definitely doing things to her, “You always look good.” she, however, clears her throat only to feel her face flush again, “Do you um…want something to eat?”

Bradley’s eyes dropped from her irises to her body, slowly, as if he was taking everything in for the first time and liking it, “I wouldn’t mind it.” he murmurs, lowering his face to her neck until his lips trailed up to her ear, “We did talk about making up for the lost time.”

Her cheeks flame up even more, but she giggles,wrapping her arms around his neck, the cold of her engagement ring cooling her arm when she clasps around it, “We did.” she says, biting her lower lip one more time - Jolene was no longer in the kitchen but now was lying on the couch since she had her share of attention for the night - trailing her hand down his arm until she grabbed his hand, interlacing their fingers, “And it’s your birthday.”

Rooster turns the arm connected to the hand, pulling his sleeve just enough to check his watch, “It is.” he smirks, “I know something we can do to celebrate it.”

Thankfully Jolene was sleeping peacefully on the couch, unaware of the two very tense humans almost tumbling up the stairs to their room, with Bradley losing his patience and pining Beatrice to the wall right before their door, his huge hands squeezing her plush thighs, putting one up against his hip while he devoured her neck, biting and licking the spot until it turned red and Beatrice was a moaning mess.

There was something really sensual about Bradley doing this while wearing his uniform, maybe because it was Bradley who looked absolutely amazing with it or maybe because her uniform kink was roaring and alight just by having him there after so long. She gasped out a moan, trailing one of her hands up his nape to his scalp, hearing the deep groaning vibrate on the side of her neck, his hands fumbling with the button of her denim shorts, “We should…get inside the room.” she says between soft puffs of air, giggling when he picks her up by the legs - which in turn makes her wrap them around his waist - before he rushes inside their bedroom.

He kicks the door closed still holding her up,  only putting her down on their bed, supporting his weight above her with his arms. He’s about to kiss her again but he feels something soft under his feet, leaning back to look down at the large cream colored rug under their bed, “You finished it.” he says, which Beatrice nods with a small smile, “It looks amazing. I still have to see everything else you’ve done.”

“I can show you–”

“Later.” he cuts her off gently, dropping his head back down on her neck, “Kinda busy right now.” Beatrice giggles again, her smaller hands trailing up the white jacket where she tries to carefully unbutton it open so it wouldn’t rip or throw the buttons across the room in any way, the white jacket opening and revealing his undershirt and tie and Beatrice couldn’t help but wonder what he’d look like on their wedding day.

God she was going to get married!!

Rooster leans back from her neck, shrugging the jacket off and setting it on the headboard while he started to remove his cuffs and tug on his tie with Beatrice’s eyes never wavering from him, “I know I promised a show for you baby, but I am all out of glittery speedos.”

“You don’t need that.” was all she replied with her pupils blown wide, biting her lower lip the way she knew drove him crazy. And it did, because his smirk almost turned feral when she did that, still slowly removing his shirt and tie, then focusing on his belt buckle after toeing out his shoes, it was quite obvious that he was already quite alert by their little moment on the hallway minutes ago.

His thighs were so thick and muscular and nice to hold. And he was wearing the dark blue cotton briefs she liked so much, “Now you are the one still clothed.” he says, repeating one of the many quotes whenever they get intimate, “But that doesn’t matter, I’ll just need a few seconds.” He purrs, leaning down to kiss her lips, busying himself by unbuttoning her denim shorts.

“I was–” Beatrice tries to say between kisses, feeling her shorts part open “I was going to wear something nice– when you came back.” her shorts are now on her thighs and she has to lift her butt off the bed so he could slide off of her body, exposing the red boyshorts with lace on the sides.

“And this isn’t nice?” he questions, arching one eyebrow at her while running his hands up and down her thighs, stopping by the lace on her hips, “You don’t have to worry about that, I like anything you wear.” he coos, pressing an open mouthed kiss to where the panties touched the crease of her pelvis before he went up again, dragging his mouth up her stomach where her shirt began, biting the edge and bringing it up with him until he reached the underside of her bra.

Beatrice’s cheeks get darker, feeling his lips kiss the valley of her breasts then up until he kisses her jawline, “I should probably take my shirt off, huh?”

“That’d be much appreciated, gorgeous.”

She smiles,”Do you want to do the honors?”

She didn’t even have to finish her sentence because his hands were under her back and her shirt, pulling it up until she sat enough for him to yank it out of her body, leaving her only on her underwear, “Fuck, you are so beautiful.” Beatrice just smiled, biting her lower lip again before she kissed his lips, cupping his face between her small hands, only breaking the kiss because he looked down at her chest, “Bra?”

“Go on ahead.”

He chuckles, watching her bow her back off the mattress so he could remove it easily. Once her breasts were free, he turned his attention to the red boyshorts, hooking his thumbs on the sides  and pulling it down until it joined the bra on the floor, “Shit you are so fucking hot.” he murmurs, dropping wet kisses up her stomach, over her sternum and then up her neck, “I missed this.”

“I missed it too.” she replies, bringing their lips together in a deep kiss, one that took the air out of her lungs. Beatrice hummed happily, watching him watch her when he pulled back to look at her face, his lips flushed that darker pink that made them look juicier than ever. 

“You know what else I missed?” she shakes her head still smiling, having to hold back a surprised moan when his hand dips between her outer lips, caressing her clit, “This.” she moans louder, throwing her head back against the mattress and spreading her legs wider, “I missed this a lot.” his fingers slide in without difficulty, groaning deeply against the side of her neck as she cants her hips to meet his hand, “And then you sent me those pictures? Fuck, you were trying to torture me.”

Beatrice moans and laughs at the same time, unsure how to reply since her mind was all muddled because of his magic fingers inside of her, “I-I wanted to–” she sucks in a sharp breath when he adds another one, “T-To give you something to r-remember me b-by.”

His breathy laugh is her first reply, then his voice appeared, “I couldn’t fucking jerk off.” he growls on her red ear, “I had to take a cold fucking shower then ignore my phone for days.” he feels a dribble slide down from inside of her into his palm, his thumb coming up to rub her clit in slow circles, “And I couldn’t even reply how I wanted either, there’s no privacy in that place.”

“I-I’m s-sorry…” she whines,  but half of her words are swallowed by his lips and tongue into her mouth, Beatrice breaks the liplock with a wet smack, her own eyes hooded. She tries to hold back the disappointed noise inside her throat when he pulls his fingers out, but she just squeaks in surprise when he drags her butt to the edge of the bed, her legs dangling on his shoulders. 

Oh this brought back so many memories.

“Don’t be sorry.” he coos with his mouth right in front of her mound, his hot breath hitting her sensitive core “It just made me want to come back even harder.” and then his mouth immediately touches her, well, his tongue to be more precise. Beatrice’s loud keening moan was so loud she slapped her hands over her mouth when she noticed that - behind the curtains on their window - their neighbors’ light was on and they could probably hear her. 

Her moaning was muffled, she was trying to hold it back, but that wasn’t flying with Bradley who stopped what he was doing - lips and chin glistening - to give her a look, “What are you doing?” his fiancé pointed to the light coming from the house close to theirs. Rooster just licked his lips to clean the fluids off the best he could, “Oh no, baby. Oh no, you are going to let it all go. I spent five months missing the sound of your voice…and it’s my birthday…please?”

The puppy dog eyes convinced her, more than it being his birthday, and she dropped her hand to her side. “Thank you. Now, where was I? Oohh…right.” He is smiling like he just won the lottery, turning his mouth back down until his tongue touches her again. This second time it was like a shock darted all over her, making the hairs on her body stand on end and forcing the moan out of her, this time without anything obstructing it.

Beatrice just let her mouth path wider, eyebrows furrowing. Being without his touch for so long made her body just shudder with anticipation, while one of her hands clenched the sheets the other trailed all the way down to his hair, nails scraping on his scalp and immediately making a deep groan vibrate against her entrance, in turn breaking another moan out of her, “Oh…fuck…Brad…” she bites her lower lip, his tongue delving deeper inside of her as his mustache tickled her clit, something she missed so much. No matter what, she could get her release on her own if she so desired, but there was no way it’d be as good as having Bradley with her.

She could only breathe in and out slowly, moaning at every swipe of this tongue against her, at every clench of his hands on her thighs and at every pleased groan that came out of him, “Brad…” he was focusing on her clit a lot more, which meant she wouldn’t last much longer, “Fuck…” her voice was also getting higher, which was another sign that her own release was right around the corner, “Brad,oh God, oh myGOD!!!” Beatrice’s scream appeared to shake the walls as soon as her orgasm hit.

She could see only white spots on her vision as she kept moaning, feeling the waves of her orgasm get lighter and lighter until she could only feel her hips twitching with the aftershocks. Beatrice’s body was glistening with sweat, but she was so happy when she brought a hand up to wipe the sweat off her forehead and noticed it was her left one, the cold of her ring touching her skin. For a second, the euphoric state dissipated into happiness and she held her hand above her head, smiling as she saw the outline of her ring because of the faint streak of moonlight coming through her curtains.

The sudden weight between her legs, followed by his face appearing behind her hand made her smile, dropping the limb to the bed as Bradley nudged himself between her legs, nothing else covering him and she felt the subtle pulsing against her outer lips, “Was it as good as you remembered?” she asks him, wrapping her arms around his neck as he gets comfortable.

“Even better,” he replies, dropping his mouth to hers, “Even fucking better, gorgeous. You still taste so good.” she can taste herself in that kiss, humming happily when one of his hands travel all the way down between them so he could align himself on her entrance. 

She’s already wet enough that there’s almost no resistance when he slides inside, the delicious stretch warming her oversensitive core even more and making another moan break out of her mouth as he hilted, “Fuck, you are so tight.” he whispers and she couldn’t help but remember how that’s how their first time started. She was so nervous back then, so unsure of what this whole thing would be.

She didn’t have a lot of sexual experience and she was honestly terrified she’d disappoint him in some way, but it was the opposite. It was one of the best nights of her life, Bradley was so vocal about making sure she was okay and complimenting her that Beatrice couldn’t help but feel over the moon.

And of course every time ever since then was incredible.

Beatrice laughs softly, holding his face with her hands while his own are next to her head, with his elbows being used to hold himself up. Their eyes meet, brown and green, eyelids curving when they smile at each other, Beatrice’s thumb brushing over his lips fondly, “I missed this too.” she whispered, “It’s not the same using a hand.”

That made his eyes widen, then drop down to her flushed chest, “You touched yourself baby? Thinking of me?” she nodded, biting her lower lip when a moan made it’s way out, “How many times did you do it?”

“Mmmm…a lot.” was her only reply, her brown hair splayed under her like a halo, her eyelids low and mouth curled in a smile, “Was never…the same though. I told you ruined everything else for me.”

His own smile widened, his head dropping to her shoulder and then to her breast where he pressed a wet kiss right on the outer side, earning a quiet moan from his fiancé. But Bradley’s hips weren’t moving as fast as he usually was, they were slow, languid, deep, like he wanted to savor it, “I do my best.” he says, bringing her nipple into his mouth, Beatrice yelped in surprise but didn’t stop him, in fact she wrapped her arms around his head to keep him there.

Neither of them were in a hurry, neither of them wanted to move too fast. They were enjoying this more than normal, this was more than him missing her and vice versa.  There was a ring on her finger that weighed so much, especially between them, it was a compromise, and they were both excited for it.

So when his arms wrapped around her waist to pull her closer, Beatrice wasted no time in hugging him back with both her arms and legs, breathing out a soft moan when his hips moved against hers. Their quiet moaning was the only sound they could hear right now, his lips trailing up from her chest to her ear, “You are going to be my wife, gorgeous.” he whispers, which makes Beatrice hum happily once she hears his voice, “I never wanted anything more than this.”

“Brad…”

“I love you so much,” his hips started to gain some speed then, no longer the long thrusts from before, “You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met,” her moaning gets a bit louder and his thrusting gets even faster, “And you have no idea, no fucking idea how much you drive me crazy.”

“Y-You said it before.” she gasps, throwing her head back, trying to keep up with his thrusts the best she could, “God, Brad…”

“Yeah, yeah baby, talk to me.” his hips are now back to it’s over the top speed, the usual whenever they were love making, with his teeth touching the side of her jaw, “What do you want baby? I’ll give you whatever you want.” but Beatrice only whimpered, clenching her legs tighter around his body, the cold of her engagement ring hitting the warm skin of his shoulder.

He stared down at her, watching her breasts bounce at the force of his hips and enjoying the deep red flush that trailed all the way down. Oh he missed this so much. “I-I…” she tries to say it, but it comes out gasped and quiet, too quiet for his liking, so he intensifies his movements which makes Beatrice’s eyes snap wide and her head throw back, digging her nails on his shoulders “Brad!! Fuck!!!” he laughs against her neck, the laugh breaking because of a groan making it’s way out of his throat.

“Brad, please!”

“What? Tell me what you want.”

“I’m going to c-cum again!!” she shouts, the pressure inside of her being the only thing she could think about right now , that and her fiancé’s massive muscular body pounding her down. “Brad I–”

He watches, without stopping his movements, when her mouth parts wide in a long high pitched screamed moan that follows her complete full body shudder and her channel pulsating around him. “You look so fucking beautiful like this,” he whispers, his own release not too far behind, focusing on speeding his movements so he’d get there a few seconds after her, “You look beautiful every single time, holy fuck.” he’s not going to last long, the sound of the skin slapping together followed by Beatrice’s quiet whimpering was enough to make the thread that kept him together snap.

Bradley drops his head on her shoulder, groaning deep as his hips jolted a few more times, each thrust making another quiet moan break out of Beatrice’s lips. 

After a while, they are still breathing hard, holding each other, with the pilot’s head still nestled on the crook of her neck, “...fuck…” he laughs tiredly, “Fuck that was really good.” her small hand comes up to run her fingers through the sandy brown locks, then her soft lips kiss his forehead which makes him hum happily against her skin.

“It was…”she says,giggling at his tired expression, “You okay?”

“I don’t really wanna move.”

“Ah, of course.” Beatrice continued combing his hair with her fingers, watching the engagement ring everytime she brought the hand closer to herself. But they had to move eventually and he moved with some difficulty, pushing himself with his elbows and slowly pulling out of her, a movement that made both of them groan out in surprise. She looks up at him when he offers her his hand, then nods to their ensuite bathroom.

She just giggles, grabbing his hand and yelping when he picks her up bridal style. “Brad!!”

“What? I missed you.” he says as he places her on the sink counter, kissing her lips once more, smiling when she tries to talk between the liplock, “I’m not even half done with you, I told you we had to make up for lost time, gorgeous.”

“In one night?”

Bradley smirks, squinting his eyes comically, “It’s a great way to start isn’t it?”

[gojos-sidepiece-69]

Tokyo Tech Training- Chapter 2

Your eyes snapped open and you met eyes with your lover from last night. Fuck. Did that actually happen? It shouldn’t have. Damn it. No, god, no. I got drunk and had an insane fever dream, that’s it. Your brain worked in overdrive trying to rationalize your decisions from last night. Intense waves of shame and guilt washed over you when you realized that you were, indeed, practically sober.

You woke up with no headache. Your hips, however, were a different story altogether. “Morning, sunshine,” your dimpled teacher said intoxicatingly. It was too early for his bullshit. “Please, Gojo. Not now. I’m going to go home and pretend this didn’t happen, okay? Great.” His grin widened as he pointed out, “Oh, so we’re on name-to-name basis now? I thought I was still your Sensei.”

You ignored him and firmly got up only to catch a glance of yourself in a full body mirror. You saw purple peeking out at you from under Gojo’s shirt. You pulled it down slightly and felt at your raw, sore love bites. “Sorry about those, I always like it a bit rough,” Gojo explained, still shamelessly man-spreading in his bed. “I could tell,” you deadpanned. You lifted up the hem of your shirt to inspect the degree of damage he had done to your hips, and it was bad. You could barely even walk straight. You were planning on a pleasant walk-of-shame home, but seeing the state of your condition, that was now out of question. As if he read your mind, he said “I’ll give you a ride back.”

You got a sneak peak into the Strongest Jujutsu Sorcerer’s morning routine, which included putting on his dumb blindfold and dark navy uniform. He handed you your clothes from the previous night, taking extra care to comment about how he was upset he didn’t get to see you in your “cute little lacy bra.” Everyone had left earlier that morning, knowing from previous experience not to wake Gojo in the morning. In addition, they didn’t want to take their chances while their airhead of a teacher took the steering wheel, blasting trap music way too damn early. You, however, had the treat of experiencing this first-hand. “All aboard!” He said childishly as you stepped into his black BMW. He immediately turned the volume of his music all the way up, humming to Pick it Up by Famous Dex.

You closed your eyes, and muttered a silent prayer that you wouldn’t die in a freak accident on the way home. With your luck, Gojo would crash straight through a KFC Drive-Thru and laugh about it.

You were shaken out of this scary afterthought when you realized that Gojo was driving 65 MPH in a 35 zone. “What the hell? Slow down!” You yelled, but your driver only looked at you and laughed. “You didn’t have a problem with me going fast last night.” You gritted your teeth. Of course he was going to make your drive home as sarcastic and filled with as many horrible sex jokes as possible. The worst part was that you, at the back of your mind, were fighting back a small laugh. But you weren’t about to confirm that he was funny. So you slowly exhaled through your nose, until your breath hitched at the back of your throat.

Gojo’s hand had snuck past the gear and onto your knee. Keeping his (inexplicably blindfolded) eyes on the road, it slowly snaked up to your thigh and rested there. He could feel you tense up and smiled to himself. He loved the effect that even just his hands had on women. The sensation gave you flashbacks of the night before. He touched a bruise on your inner thigh that he had licked and sucked so tenderly last night, and you shuddered. He drew small circles, but didn’t go any further.

The tires screeched to a halt right outside Tokyo Tech, and you clambered out of his car as fast as you could. You left in such a rush that you dropped your “cute, lacy bra” on the passenger-side floor. You didn’t even notice. Luckily it was Sunday, and you wouldn’t have to worry about seeing your teacher until tomorrow. “Have a great day!” He yelled after you, and you flipped him off classily without so much as a backwards glance for your superior. As soon as you got to your dorm, you dramatically collapsed onto the mattress.

You were so tired from fooling around the entire day yesterday that you slept through Sunday in its entirety. You arose early Monday morning and groaned when you remembered that it was going to be your first Field Training day. And you were absolutely correct in thinking that you were most definitely not ready.

“Each of you will be assigned a Jujutsu Sorcerer to shadow for your field practice today. Watch how they exorcise curses, take mental notes, and follow each of their directions carefully. Megumi and Nobara, you’ll be going with Nanami. Yuji and Y/n, you’re stuck with me,” Gojo said, keeping eye contact with you for an uncomfortably long amount of time. You thought to yourself, I might as well just start calling it blindfold-contact, if I can’t see his gorgeous eyes. I mean, eyes. Gojo whistled and led you and Yuji back to his black car. Yuji ran like the track-star he was, yelling “SHOTGUN!” so loudly that you didn’t care to argue.

He threw the door open and leaped into the passenger seat, while Gojo took the wheel and you occupied the backseat. Yuji took the liberty of connecting to the aux, this time blasting Tetris by Derek King. Once again, it was way too early in the morning to be listening to songs about ass. But this issue did not seem to exist for the Tokyo Tech’s favorite resident ass men, Yuji and Gojo. Or as you liked to call them, Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dumb-ass.

Not even a comfortable minute into the drive, Yuji energetically bent over and picked up your forgotten bra. “Ooh, looks like Gojo Sensei is getting some! Who’s the unlucky girl?” Yuji joked around. “Oh, Gojo. GOJO,” the pink-haired puppy-boy fake moaned like an animal in pain while poking fun at his teacher. Your sensei, ever the enabler of horrible jokes, chuckled along. He glanced up into the rear view mirror and made eye contact with you, breaking it as soon as he swerved into the wrong lane. “At least tell me what she looked like!” Yuji practically bursted at the seams. Gojo sighed and offered a single comment to his student that was enough to temporarily stave off his curiosity and shut him up. “She had a great ass.”

You heard a genuinely amazed “Wow!” from your fellow first-year as blush once again danced onto your cheeks. You broke the car’s mounting tension by piping up and asking, “So where are we actually going?” Gojo explained that their Field Practice entailed an actual mission to retrieve one of Sukuna’s fingers. What the hell? You thought to yourself. You had barely one day of instruction and you were being thrown into the deep end already? Jesus Christ. But somewhere deep inside your mind, you knew that Gojo cared for his students and would never let any of them get hurt.

Rudely interrupting your thoughts for the millionth time, Gojo interjected, “But we’re stopping by the bakery first. I need my morning fix.” Your stomach grumbled at the thought of food just as you remembered you hadn’t eaten yet today. With one shitty parallel-parking job, you had arrived right outside the Ichiban Pan bakery. The three of you filed into the bakery, the bell on the door ringing as the sweet aromas supplied you with some much-needed serotonin. You walked up to the counter, and immediately noticed how beautiful the cashier was. She had long, dark hair and a figure that anyone would drool over.

To your surprise, she said, “Gojo...back here already? I knew you hadn’t had enough of me yet,” as she eyed him lustfully. “Of course I had to come back for seconds. Your goods were just so...soft and sweet,” he smiled coyly as he leaned onto the counter and shamelessly flirted back. The woman reached over and toyed with Gojo’s blindfold as his smile grew. She said, “So, when are we going to have some more fun?” He answered, “Always so eager, huh? Don’t worry, you’ll get your turn soon.” You couldn’t tell if your face was heating up with annoyance at the thought of Gojo delaying the mission to flirt with one of his girls, or at the fact that you felt...jealous. Jealous that you weren’t the only one he had eyes for, and envious that this girl was older and maybe even more attractive than you. She made you feel plain in more ways than one, and your mind started to wander.

Did Gojo touch her like how he touched me? How many girls has he had before? How many is he with right now? Damn it. You shook off the bothersome thought. Maybe it was your innate competitiveness as a Jujutsu Sorcerer, but you knew you had to get him back. Fair and square. You told yourself it wasn’t because you wanted more from him, but it was because you wanted to make him feel jealous in the exact same way. Whatever it was, whenever the time would come, you were going to leave him frustrated.

Three delicious dangos and thirty minutes later, you found yourself at the site of the curse: a closed off mall. While you were now right outside of the car, you could feel the cursed energy radiating out from its epicenter. “There’s one unregistered first-grade curse that you need to extract Sukuna’s finger from. And I’m going to osbserve,” Gojo said while he sat on the hood of his car. “You’re going to what? I’ve barely had ANY training,” you sputtered angrily, but Yuji was already pulling your arm and dragging you towards the curse. Well, you thought to yourself. Might as well prove yourself a worthy comrade to Yuji and a promising student for...he didn’t matter right now. The two of you sprinted forward as Gojo lowered a dark veil over the area, blackening the sky.

Yuji shoved the front doors open and leapt inside, and you jumped in after him. The lights were broken and flickering, casting an eerie glow over the abandoned mall. The escalators were still running, but you could hear distant crashing sounds. “This way!” Yuji yelled, as the two of you sprinted up the escalator to the second floor. The crashing increased in volume, and it was clearly coming from a destroyed souvenir shop ahead.

You laid eyes on the grotesque curse, which resembled a deformed, melting, red plastic mannequin that was at least twice your height. Its arms immediately extended and shot out at you, but you dodged out of the way. You hadn’t learned any techniques yet, so it seemed like you and Yuji would be teaming up and harnessing your raw cursed energy to deliver blows to the mannequin. The curse opened its mouth to reveal jagged teeth that caged in one of Sukuna’s fingers. “There it is!” you shouted. But in an instant, both you and Yuji were caught off guard and knocked to your feet by the mannequin’s extended arms.

They grew spikes that jutted out and beat into your sides. You yelped and coughed in pain, starting to see blood pool out from under your uniform. You gritted your teeth and tried your best to deliver blows to sever the curse’s arms, but it was useless. Yuji, too, seemed trapped in between the sharp spikes. After ten minutes of intense stabbing pains and useless struggle against this first-grade curse, Yuji piped up. “I think I’m going to have to let Sukuna take over and destroy this curse.” Your eyes widened. You had only heard stories of the demon king, and they were all horrific. But it was between that and death, and you both made the split-second decision. “Do it,” you nodded.

You watched from your position as Yuji let Sukuna take over his body. Black tattoos etched their way across his toned body, which was exposed to you after he carelessly tore his tightening shirt off. His smile grew wide and you heard a malicious laugh. “Fool,” Sukuna said directly to the curse, before ripping its right arm off with brute force. “You think you’re any match for me?” Before its arm could regenerate, Sukuna tore off its other one and freed you before tossing you aside like a corpse while informing you that you were “in his way.” You hit your head against the front window of the store and groaned. You watched the mannequin open it’s mouth and shoot out it’s razor-sharp dagger teeth at Sukuna, but he just grabbed onto the curse’s head and tore it right off with ease.

He reached two fingers into the curse’s mouth and extracted the finger, examining it with a slight grin before swallowing it. “Feels so good,” he murmured while throwing his head back and laughing loudly. A wave of confusion washed over you. If the job was done, why hadn’t Yuji switched back yet? What was going on? You shivered and backed up slightly as Sukuna turned his head to look down at you.

“You know,” he drew out a breath as he kneeled down and picked up a scrap of cloth from Yuji’s torn shirt. “I haven’t taken over a vessel in ages. And that means I haven’t had a woman in a very,” he stepped closer to you, “Very long time.” You looked up at him from the ground, taking in his mouthwatering physique. This curse made you forget about logic for a minute and revert to primal instinct. The first thought that ran through your brain was running your tongue over his abs. However, a second later, you had an even better idea. Why not let Sukuna have his way with me? That would show Gojo. I want him to hear me moaning while he’s still sitting in his stupid BMW, blood rushing to his dick as he thinks about me getting fucked stupid by the undisputed king of curses. That thought alone was enough to push you to answer, “And what do you want me to do about that?”

“You’re going to do as I say. Let me fuck you until you can’t remember your own first name.” Your heat throbbed at that, and Sukuna wasted no time binding your hands together tightly with the scrap of cloth. This was really happening. You were about to get destroyed by the legendary Sukuna in the shattered storefront of a souvenir shop. In the dark. Without any semblance of a warning, Sukuna ripped your uniform top right off of your body, leaving behind only scraps of fabric. You shivered at the sensation of being exposed to the cold. You looked up at him wearing only your plain black bra and uniform skirt, and his eyelids lowered. “Fucking slut,” he said, as he ripped off your bra with the same fervor. He smiled hungrily as your nipples perked from the chills, and groped at your breasts with both hands.

He admired how they fit perfectly within his calloused hands, and how he could feel your heartbeat rapidly soar. With fear. Humans really are useless creatures, aren’t they? He thought before he demanded, “Open your mouth.” You complied, and he slid two long digits all the way inside. You felt one hit the back of your throat and you moaned onto his fingers as they slid back out. He rubbed his fingers back onto your breasts, coating them with the wetness of your own saliva. You moaned loudly with pleasure, positive that your pathetic Sensei could hear you from outside.

“That’s good.” Sukuna approved of your moaning. The thought of him making you arch your back, screaming and crying for him pushed him on further. His hands aggressively found your skirt, tearing it easier than paper. He looked down at your soaked panties and felt the urge to make you feel small and embarrassed. “You’ve gone and made a mess of yourself. I’ll just have to get rid of them,” you saw Sukuna’s tongue move around in his mouth as he forcefully tugged off your panties. His hunger got the best of him, and he bent down to let his tongue take one long lap along your dripping cunt. “Fuck,” he breathed as you threw your head back, hitting against the wall. “I haven’t tasted a woman in so long,” he said, before bending back down and slipping his tongue into your slit.

His strong arms kept your shaking legs pried wide open for him, sharp nails tightly gripping into your thighs, and you could only groan louder. He continued to drink at your slippery juices until you screamed and came into his mouth. He licked his lips as he pushed your thighs back together and lifted himself up. “I’m not even close to finished with you yet,” he growled, sensing you getting slightly tired.

He lifted you up and threw you onto your stomach. You propped yourself up shakily using your elbows while he pushed your head down with one of his hands. You arched your back for him, granting him an easier entrance. Kneeling behind you, he teased his dripping tip at your folds while squeezing at your ass. The buildup was almost too much for you to take, so you began to whine “Suku-,” but before you could finish, he entered you roughly. Sukuna mercilessly railed into your pussy from behind, one hand simultaneously gripping your hair and pushing your head down, while the other dug crescent-shaped nail marks into your hips.

His pace was so fast that you could only scream and curse and whine his name, but he only laughed and threw his head back. “Sl-slower,” you begged, tears spilling down your face, but Sukuna maintained his speed. Your useless request only prompted him to move his hand from your hair to your throat, gripping you tightly. “Don’t ask me that again,” he growled, still thrusting.

You could feel his thrusts become more loose and sporadic, and finally he pulled out and groaned deeply while spilling his cum all over your thighs. You panted and stood up slowly, but you held back a shocked scream. You watched in horror as Gojo Satoru stood before you, blindfolded eyes trailing over the white, creamy liquid dripping down your thighs. You instinctively covered your breasts and cunt, managing a weak, “how long were you watching?” Gojo took a step forward. “Well, I decide to assess the situation for myself when I heard you screaming for mercy, so I came in at about the time...” he mimed checking a fake watch, “a 1000-year-old curse started pounding you from behind.”

You blushed, heart racing from the exposure and accidental voyeurism. You hadn’t expected him to actually come see you for himself. However, your eyes took a quick trip to see a growing bulge in your Sensei’s pants. You smiled to yourself as you thought, mission accomplished.

🌹

[tvmblrdothailey]

Bnha x trans woman reader

A/N: I decided to write an x reader where the reader is a trans woman. To any trans woman reading this I just want you to know thAT I FŪCKING LOVE YOU💙💖🤍💖💙🥰😘🥰😘🥰😘 YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND I WILL LITERALLY FIGHT ANYONE WHO HURTS YOU.

Warning: Cursing, Transphobia, mentions of Sex Reassignment Surgery, Gender Dysphoria. Karen

(Y/N): Your name

(D/N): Your dead name

Summary: It took a while for your parents to accept you for who you are, you just hoped your classmates and teachers would accept you as well.

- Before the first day, you had recieved your school uniform, but it turned out to be a mens uniform. To which you had to “politely” ask them to send you the correct uniform.

- Once you made it to class you were immediently introduced to a green haired male who you’d later find out was named Izuku. Then you met Uraraka, Iida, Asui, etc.

- Eveything was going well until your teacher showed up and immediently had you all sent to change into P.E uniforms.

- It wasn’t the uniform that was the problem, it was the fact that none of them knew you were trans and had to share a changing room with other woman. And even though they seemed friendly at first, you still were unsure how’d they react.

- In the past you had to learn the hard way that a smile can really hide someones true colors and that not all people are willing to accept you for who you are and not what you are.

- It’s worth noting that you havent had Sex Reassignment Surgery yet, because you couldnt afford it. (You did take medication though)

- And even though you were generally confident about your Gender, you still had your moments where you started to doubt yourself abd even questioned if you were a real woman (WHICH YOU FRICKING ARE OKAY!!! 😤💙🤍💖)

- Once you were in the womans lockerroom, you tried your best to find a place where you could change without any of them seeing you. So far it was going good until Uraraka came looking for you. She blushed and in a panic you told her you were a trans woman.

- You froze for a few seconds before hearing Uraraka’s voice “Oh...okay, well just so you know, I think you’re a very beautiful woman!” My god you had to hold back from giving Uraraka a hug right then and there.

- Later down the line you had come out to the rest of the girls as a Trans woman, to which they all responded with hugs and affection.

- “We don’t care if you’re trans, you’re still the same (Y/N) we know and love.” -Hagakure

- “It doesnt matter whats in your pants, if you identify as a woman, then you’re a woman.” - Jirou

- “I am literally pink, and you think I’d judge you because of your gender? Hell nah, get over here and let me love you!” - Mina

- “If anyone tells you otherwise you come to me and I will have a “friendly” chat with them.” -Momo

- “Ribbit, You’ll always be our friend (Y/N), no matter what.” -Tsu

- They would die for you

- With the help of the other girls, you eventually came out to Aizawa, and he promised that you would be treated the same just as any other student. And if anyone gives you any problems you bring it to him for him to deal with. (Protective dad tm)

- Eventually the entire class knew and you felt the biggest weight fall of your shoulders.

- “It does’nt matter, you’re still (L/N) (Y/N). And we all care about you. 💚” -Izuku

- “I don’t give a damn about your gender! So stop it with that self-concious shit.” -Bakugo. Although his words may seem harsh, he really cares about you and is willing to blow up any wall, building or mountain to chase away any Dysphoria you may have.

- You had to exaplain it a couple of times for Todoroki since he was never educated about that kind of stuff, but once he got it he immediently replied “I didn’t know people could do that. Thank you for telling me, and I’ll do everything I can to support you.” 🤍❤️

- Of cource there were going to be some students who felt the need to belittle you...

- One time in the Caffiteria, Monoma had walked up to your table and desided that today would be the day he would be the biggest dick in the world

- “It’s shocking how people say Class 1A is one of the hardest courses to get into, yet they let someone like you in.” He said

- You looked at him “Excuse me?”

- “I’m just saying when you think about it scientifically, you’re still a man no m- “ Monoma didn’t get to finish his sentence before Kendo slapped him, knocking him out cold.

- “Hey, sorry about him (Y/N). I knew he was low but I didn’t think he was that low.” She then smiled at you “Don’t listen to him, he’s just desperate to finding ways to make his class seem better because of some imaginary rivalry that’s only exist in his head. Anyway, I need to take him to Recovery girl to get his brains checked, but I’ll see you later!”

- Kendo was the best, and she made sure that Monoma got a stern lecture from Vlad later that day.

- Then there was the Mall incident, when the class was going on a trip to the mall to buy supplies for Summer training camp, but then you ran into an Ex friend.

- Emphasis on the word EX

- “(D/N)?” They said. To which you froze, you recgonized that voice anywhere and you could already tell that this conversation wasn’t going to be friendly.

- You slowly turned around “Hey Karen...” She didnt look that diffrent, fake nails, fake jewlery, fake personality...what?

- “Why are you dressed like a woman?” She said.

- You groaned before responding “Because I am a woman, Karen.” You tried to walk away from her in order to avoid confrontation, the last thing you needed were hundreds of eyes on you. You made a note to yourself to come back tommorow when you would’nt have to deal with her. But you’re taken out of your thoughts as you feel someone grab your shoulder and spin you around.

- “Do you think it’s funny? To make fun of mental illness?” She said.

- There was a point in time when Karens words didnt offend you anymore, they just frustrated you because of how dumb and ignorant she sounded.

- “Karen, I have told you multiple times that I am a woman, I am not mentally ill, I am human. I get that it might be confusing for you but it’s not for me. I am happy the way I am okay?”

- “You’re the one that’s confused. You think you’re a girl but you’re a boy no matter what? That’s just how the human body works.” She shot back. At this point multiple eyes were already on you two. Some looked uncomftorable, others look confused and then there were a few that looked disgusted. Just a few people had the power to send Dysphoria crawling back into your mind.

- You started to hear fast footsteps before hearing “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY YOU BOOTLEG BARBIE BITCH?!”

- Oh hey bakugo (we’re gonna pretend him, Kiri and Shoto came along aight)

- “Bakugo, It is unacceptable to call a woman by such a deragatory term! Even though she was being rude to (Y/N) there are better ways to-“ Iida was cut off by Bakugo

- “SHUT THE HELL UP FOUR EYES!” Kiri then had to hold bakugo back while Todoroki and Uraraka steped in between you and Karen.

- “Don’t ever talk to our friend like that, she is more of a woman than you’ll ever be. I’d suggest that you walk away right now, our friend can only hold back Bakugo for so long.” Todoroki said

- Uraraka helped calm your nerves and whispered to you “Don’t listen to her, she’s just jealous because you can wear a dress better than her.”

- AIGHT, now the training camp.

- During the training camp, Tiger had not only helped you get stronger, but also helped scare away any Gender Dysphoria that remained inside your head.

- “Don’t ever let peoples harsh words get to you! You are doing this for yourself and that’s what matters!” He said

- When it was time to take a bath, you didn’t hesitate to get into the hot springs. The encouraging words Tiger gave you along with the constant support of your friends had made you feel safe and happy. You could’nt ask for better friends.

Bonus:

* IF YOU DO NOT PLAN ON HAVING SEX REASSIGNMENT SURGERY THEN YOU CAN IGNORE THIS PART

- One moment that stuck out was when momo dropped the question “Hey (Y/N), you dont have to awnser this but I was wondering, why have’nt you gone through Sex Reassignment Surgery? Are you not comftorble with it or...?”

- “Oh, I just dont have the money for it.” You responded

-Way way later on.

- your birthday was finally around the corner

- On the big day you woke up to your friends Uraraka and Midoriya at your door and they dragged you to the main room where the rest of the class along with Mr. Aizawa were.

- You noticed a large envelope on the coffe table and they looked at you before Hagakure urged you to open it.

- When you did you found two gifts, one was a shirt

- And the other was a smaller envelope with the words Class 1A written on the back. You opened the envelope and pulled out a card and opened it to which a small keychain fell out that said “trans woman are real woman” and if that wasn’t wholesome enough...

- You looked inside the card but before you could begin reading Aizawa interupted and asked you to read it outloud.

- “Dear (Y/N), words can not describe how wonderful you are, how brave, how strong, or how amazing of a person and classmate you are. We all love you! When you came out to us as a transwoman, we all immediently wanted to make sure you knew you were valid and loved. It’s come to our attention that you haven’t had sex reassignment surgery because you are unable to afford it. So we banded together and decided we would help pay for your surgery-“ you couldn’t finish as you were allready in tears and you looked at Aizawa and the rest of the class to confirm that they were not messing with you.

- “I’ve already talked with your parents all you have to do is set up an appointment and all that fun stuff.” Aizawa said.

- Your tears turned into water falls and your classmates all went to give you hugs and affection. You thanked each of them through your tears of joy and hiccups.

- Definitely a Birthday that would be remembered.

TUMBLR DESITED TO DELETE 65% OF THIS POST THAT I POURED MY HEART AND SOUL INTO 😭

[yukichilovesbakugo]

Within Reach

Bakugo Katsuki x Reader

Chapter 3

Warnings: Cursing

Master List

It didn't take long for your acceptance letter to arrive. You got in with 65 villain points and only 10 rescue points. Apparently they docked points because you went out of bounds. Didn't matter much to you though, you got in! Bakugo was pretty pissed when he found out you all made it. He wanted to be the only one. Though, to be honest, he seemed more upset that the mouse made it rather than anyone else. Today was your first day at U.A. Academy. Your class was the ever so popular 1-A, and you had a feeling you'd have two of the same classmates from middle school. A small chuckle escaped your lips thinking about it as you slid on your skirt. When you had the whole uniform on, you stood in the mirror. Although you liked function over fashion, you just loved skirts. They were breathable, they flowed well, and they could look both cute and sexy. You loved them. You heard your alarm go off, letting you know it was time to leave for school. After saying goodbye to you grandfather, you headed out. As luck would have it, after a few blocks you ran into Bakugo. Instead of running up to him, you simply teleported next to him.

"Hey." You greeted. The poor boy nearly had a heart attack.

"JESUS FUCK!! WHY DO YOU DO THAT!?" He exploded. Literally. You just shrugged your shoulders.

"It's just easier than trying to catch up normally."

"Well at least warn me or something, asshole." The boy grumbled walking forward.

"You should just expect me to come out of nowhere." You teased a bit as you followed.

"What, are you stalking me?" He gave you a grossed out look. A sigh rang out.

"More like you're always were I am." You shook your head.

"Tch, whatever." He slouched over.

"So, what class are you in?"

"Not telling, shorty. What about you?"

"Guess you'll find out, huh?" You let out a deep yawn. The walk to school wasn't terribly long and you guys ended up getting there pretty fast. You guys searched around and finally found the door labeled 1-A. As both of you reached for the handle, you sighed.

"Same class again." You grabbed the door and pulled it open. After taking a look at the seating chart, you found your seat. Right. Next. To. Him. 'Fate has something against me.' You groaned. The blond just sat down and kicked his feet up. Soon a tall boy with glasses came up to talk to him. You tried to ignore them when you saw a certain green haired boy open the door. You shouted out to him.

"Oi, mouse!" He froze and looked at you.

"Y-yes!?" Poor boy was shaking as you approached him.

"You got in, didn't you? So stop shivering in your shoes." You smacked his shoulder. The tall guy named Iide, something like that, came over as well. You peered over your shoulder to see the blonde click his tongue. When you turned back, a cute brunette and a man in a sleeping bag had appeared. Everyone quickly focused on the man. He got out of his bag.

"I'm Shota Aizawa, your teacher." He started to talk while pulling something out of his bag. "Now hurry up and change then shove off to the PE ground." He then took his leave. The class was left in wonder while you just did as told. You quickly got changed. On your way, you teleported periodically to the field. Of course you were the first one there beside Aizawa. You had recognized your teacher as Eraserhead, the hero that could cancel out quirks.

After waiting a bit, a gust of wind came. It was mildly strong. Your h/l, h/c colored hair blew behind you. Some leaves flew past you. You turned slightly to see someone had arrived. There stood the blonde, who clicked his tongue and looked away. He strolled up to you, but refused to make eye contact.

"What's up with you?" You tried to peak at his face. With his hand he pushed your face back.

"Nothing!" He grumbled as you smacked his hand away. You definitely thought he was acting weird, but you just shook it off.

"Whatever." You guys stood in silence as you waited for the others. After a while, he spoke again.

"Hey-" his eyes glanced at you before he heard the voices of others. "Tch." He shoved his hands into his pocket. The others joined and Aizawa started talking. He explained the quirk assessment and told the class that whoever gets last place will be expelled. The test were fairly easy for you. With the 50 meter dash, you got the best time, 0.25 seconds. It startled everyone a bit at first. For the other test you tried to find creative ways to use your quirk. Then it came to the ball throw. When it was your turn you grabbed the ball from him.

"Aizawa-sensei. You said not to leave the circle, but is the space above it fair game?" He pause for a second, then nodded. You continue to the circle. You stood there, then disappeared. If the students looked in the sky, they could see that you teleported far above and threw the ball. They got a bit scared to see you fall to the ground, but you just teleported back to the circle. Your teacher held up the screen that read '352.7 meters'. After you yawned you returned next to Bakugo. Next up was the mouse. When he grabbed the ball, he seemed to be in conflict with himself. That's when you noticed that Aizawa activated his quirk. He erased whatever the mouse was going to use. This peaked you intrest.

"Weird." You mumbled underneath your breathe. The blonde side eyed you. After the teacher gave the mouse another chance, you figured it out. Before the ball even left his hand, you put two and two together. That was when the ball went flying. The blonde was in utter shock. He then started to charge the green haired boy, quirk going.

"DEKUUU!" It seemed you and Aizawa had the same idea. The man used his quirk and ropes to stop Bakugo while you teleported in front of him, staring him down. As the boy calmed down and walked away, you eyed the mouse.

"I never would have thought..." you trailed off as you followed Bakugo. Soon the other test were completed and the score board was showed. You didn't really care of your rank so you just started to head back to change.

"Hey," you heard a strange voice and turned around. A yellow haired boy walked up to you. "I'm Denki Kaminari, nice to meet you." He smiled at you, but you just looked at him blankly.

"F/n L/n. A piece of advice, staring at people can be considered rude." The boy flinched and let out a nervous chuckle. He had been stealing glances at you since class started.

"O-oh. I'm sorry, I just couldn't help it. You're so beautiful." He winked at you. With a blank face, you spoke.

"Thanks, I guess." You turned to leave when he grabbed your arm.

"W-wait." He tried but you teleported a few meters forward. With a scary voice, you gave a warning.

"Don't touch me, I don't like it." You turned back to him. "And you should give up now. I'm not here to make friends." When you went to leave again, you were met by the blonde.

"Oi, go get changed." He demanded with his arms crossed. After a sigh, you walked away. Unbeknownst to you, the blonde gave the flirt a pretty nasty look before leaving aswell. Once you had changed and gathered your things you went to go home.

°•°•°•°

On your way out the gate you saw the boy Kaminari. He went to cross the street, but there was a speeding car. The horn sounded and the boy looked up in horror. Within a split second, you teleported to him and then the sidewalk. You held his arms.

"You okay?" Your e/c eyes met his golden ones. His heart skipped a beat. He ended up short circuiting and shocked you a bit with his quirk. You flinched slightly, thinking you scared him.

"OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY!!!!" He bowed at you profusely. You let out a rather long sigh then spoke.

"It's okay. I didn't mean to startle you, sorry. Just be more careful." After pausing for a moment, you noticed your quirk felt weird. You mentally cursed at yourself. Electric type quirks were your weakness. This is why you didn't want to touch him.

"Oi, shorty, you okay?" A deep voice rang out. You turned to see the blond jogging up to you. Just when he was near, your quirk 'glitched'. You teleported rapidly three times, each time within a foot from your original spot. It ended where it started though. "W-what the!?" His red eyes stared at you. Next to you the yellow haired boy stood in shock aswell. You let out a frustrated wine, then explained.

"For some reason, electric quirks always cause me to lose control of my quirk temporarily. It's such a pain." The pikachu boy stared at you in horror. He felt so terrible for doing that to you. Now the other boy, he glared at the yellow haired mess. He had seen the whole thing, and he new that Kaminari didn't mean to hurt you, but he was still a little upset at him. You started to feel some pain gradually build in your head. You knew it was coming. One thing you didn't mention was that it could also cause you get really bad headaches sometimes. "I'm going to head home. You guy be safe." You turned to leave. When the blond went to follow, you turned back again. Your quirk glitched again. "Alone, please." This time you left for good, taking a short cut to the shrine. Poor Bakugo stood, wondering if he did something wrong. He shot Kaminari one last glare, then went to go home aswell. He was deep in thought. All throughout the day, he has had a funny feeling in his chest. To make matters worse, it was only with you around. He doesn't understand it though. Maybe something's wrong with him?

Tag List: @maisyyx

[pettyprocrastination]

I Don’t Think Were On Earth-65 Anymore Cop!Frank Castle x Spider!Reader

@jarvis-ismy-copilot @wolfmothar @marvelobsessedteen @majorcdanvers Summary: Jitterbug’s plan on getting home hits a few snags because of a vigilante that is all too familiar but also shockingly different. 

Chapter ten

“This is the place.” 

Jitterbug looked through a dingy window to see a group of men walking around, multiple crates scattered in the warehouse. From what she could see one of them was open and full of high-tech machinery and weaponry. “You got a plan?”

Daredevil nodded, she still couldn’t believe it all. Working side by side with the doppelganger of a man who made her life a living hell. Well, she’ll have time to process the absurdity of it all when she got back to her dimension.

 “You go through the roof and web them up using your speed.” He explained. “And then I-” Suddenly Matt froze, his head tilted to the side as he listened to something she couldn’t hear. Jitterbug’s body went into overload and her hair stood on edge, the tell-tale sign of her spider-sense.

“Hey buddy, you wanna tell me what the hell is going on?” She looked around them and saw nothing, but she knew something was off.

Matt groaned. “Damnit Castle.”

Multiple gunshots rang throughout the building. A man had burst in and opened fire on the gang who quickly retaliated, turning it into a full blown fire-fight.

“New plan!” Jitterbug kicked in the window and sped into the building. “Stop everybody from killing each other!”

Jitterbug zipped into the building just in time to tackle a crook to the ground and out of gunfire. She narrowly avoided being shot by the man herself. Soon enough the gang was no longer focused on the mystery man, but her as well.

“What the fuck is that!” A thug screamed at her webbed mask.

She brought her fist down on his face, knocking him out instantly. “Save the dramatics mate.”

Daredevil ran over to the man and kicked the gun from his grasp. “Frank stop!”  At the name her head shot up to stare but Matt kicked him back, facing away from her and hiding his identity. “We have it handled.”

Jitterbug went around, immobilizing each criminal and dancing around the bullets as Matt fought the unknown assailant. She shook the thought from her head. There was no way, it just wasn’t possible! 

She looked over and saw them both still fighting. Matt was doing well to defend himself, but the man was better. He was taller, bulkier, and faster than the catholic vigilante. He definitely had training.  

The Matt from this dimension was completely different than the one she knew, so maybe...

“Hardly.” The man’s voice was rough and deep. It was one she’d heard every week, one telling her to leave it to the police, telling her to stay to fill out a police report and telling her to be careful.

She turned and shot a web at him, connecting his raised fist to the giant crate right next to him. He tried to wretch his hand free but to no avail. Matt set his hands on his hips and grinned, watching the man try to tear himself free with no success.

“You know, I could get used to this.”

The breathe was stolen right from Jitterbug’s lungs at the sight of Frank fucking Castle, covered in bruises and staring her down with harsh eyes. This Frank was stockier, covered in more scars but the same face and bulldog-frown. He wore no police uniform, but all black clothing and a vest with a white skull painted on that was now riddled with bullets.

“Frank?” She said his name so soft, so scared and confused that it shocked both men.

The Frank Castle she knew was an officer of the law, one who’d defend the justice system with his last breathe and criticize the masked heroes that help him in the same sentence. He openly dismissed vigilante justice as a nuisance and believed in the system he worked for.

Now she felt like she stepped right into an episode of Twilight Zone.

“Your girlfriend alright red?” Frank noticed how the masked woman tensed up when he looked at her. She shook herself out of her stupor, she had no time to stand and gape over the vigilante. (Even calling him that made her feel wrong.)

“I’m fine.” She snapped before walking right past him and to the crate he was connected to. “You aren’t my issue, that’s all him.” She waved a hand in DareDevil’s direction and Frank snorted.

“Well ain’t she peachy.” Christ, it was the same voice and everything.

Matt shot him a dirty look. “You’re lucky we got here when we did Frank. We had it covered and you-”

Frank rolled his eyes. Clearly the severity of the situation meant nothing to him.  Jitterbug noted the nicknames and first name basis the two were on. The banter between the two as they fought about their ideologies. 

I guess they've been through this with each other before.

“All you do it beat ‘em up and-” Frank looked around him and froze mid sentence.“Alright, that’s new.”

Each criminal was tied up tight in a cocoon of webbing, unconscious, immobilized and stuck to a wall.

“You're welcome for that, by the way.” Jitterbug ripped the top off the box with a single hand, something both Frank and Matt gaped at. She didn’t have time to get caught up on the fact that this dimension’s Frank didn’t blink an eye at killing. She needed to worry about getting home. “Now if you boys are done with your little dick measuring contest I have to-” She looked at the open box which was now full of shattered materials and bullet holes.

“Youve got to be fucking kidding me!”

“What?” Matt rushed to her side. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” She laughed mockingly before turning to face Frank with a nasty scowl. “What’s wrong is that your Frank Castle is an ass who just ruined my chances of getting home because he’s fucking trigger happy!”

He clenched his fist and let out a slow breathe, as if keeping his temper from snapping. “You want me to apologize for keeping those guns from hittin’ the streets? For keepin’ those criminals from killing more people?”

She groaned and pointed in his face. “No jackass, I want you to apologize for sending me to an early grave you-”

She remembered Gwen telling her that “glitching” felt like “being tazed naked in a snowstorm.” Which as odd as it sounded, was actually spot on to the agonizing pain she felt in that moment as her body distorted and burned. She didn’t know what the loud piercing sound was until she realized it was her own screaming. She stumbled to the floor and Matt caught her, ripping off her mask and looking at her groaning form.

“Jitterbug?” He pressed his fingers to her pulse and she patted his arm, letting him know she was find, well...as fine as she could be in the situation.

“Hey!” Frank tried to rip his hand free and run to her aid, but he was stuck as stuck can be. “Hey! What the hell is going on?!” As the sight of her screaming in pain, Frank went from anger to concern for the now unmasked heroine. “Red what the hell did you do!?”

“Me?” Matt shot back. “This wasn’t me at all. If anything your violent actions could have been the one to cause-”

“I’m fine.” She pushed herself out of Matt’s arms and upright, facing both men with a grim expression. “Just my atoms reacting to being in another dimension is all.”

Frank looked between her and Matt. “Your what?”

“We need to find a way to get me back, or else I’m gonna keep doing that.” She explained. “And eventually I wont get back up from it.”

“We will.” Daredevil promised her. With that she went to one of the boxes to see what she could salvage. Maybe she could put something together? All the materials were there, albeit dented and riddled with bullets but maybe she’d be able to get it to work just enough to return her home.

As Jitterbug pondered a plan Frank fisted daredevil’s costume in his hand and yanked him close, rage clear on his face.

“Start talking. Now.”

Me? Back from not posting for legit months? It’s more likely than you think folks. Anyways I’m terribly sorry for no posting for the past few months, school has been hell and then I’ll be starting more classes in like three weeks so I’m trying to get into the habit of posting once more before I accidentally go ghost again lmao. So I am going to start posting jitterbug chapters everyday until the entire fic is out on this blog for you all to read !!<3 still taking requests and still doing fics, I got a request for one about a child reader and frank with a PLATONIC found family type fic which is definitely in the works! Along with other things!!

[free-my-boy-grumbot]

year in review woah

I posted 1,740 times in 2022

That's 1,333 more posts than 2021! remember when i would only post 3 times per day? yea that was pathetic

166 posts created (10%)

1,574 posts reblogged (90%)

Blogs I reblogged the most (i love how its only hermitcraft blogs)

@araccoonthatlikesmurder

@terrible-leviathan

@foryouthegays

@ghost-chi

@griancraft

Most used tags or smthn

#cameron monologues - 65 posts

#hhh - 55 posts

#hermitcraft - 49 posts

#[deadname] monologues - 48 posts

#mcyt - 33 posts

#grian - 22 posts

#dream smp - 21 posts

#relatable - 21 posts

#dsmp - 19 posts

#danganronpa - 19 posts

broo my mf tumblr tags deadnamed me

Longest Tag: 87 characters

#no wonder you don’t read that often mf you’ve never felt a single emotion while reading

that was me slandering ppl who dont read angst

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

MAGIC USERS AND THEIR DEFINITIONS (because i’m mentally unwell and needed something cool to research)

FOREWARNING: In this, I do say that “witch” and “wizard” are not gendered terms and witches are different from wizards. This is literally just my headcanon (for lack of a better word). Most fantasy media does say that they are the 2 magic genders, but it’s my post and i’m going with the definition that I like.

Abjurer: Specifically deals in protective spells and the suppression of others’ magic.

Alchemist: Focuses on potion making, chemistry and alchemy (I know, shocker).

Artificer: Magic craftsmen. They do not cast spells, and instead can infuse objects with magic (such as a sword or wand).

Bard: Casts divine magic using their music and charisma.

Cleric: Their magic is a favour from the Gods to them. They pray at the beginning of the day every day to get their powers.

Chiromancer: Specialises in palmistry or fortune telling.

Diviner: Uses magic to foresee or predict future events or to discover hidden knowledge.

Druid: Wields nature-themed magic. Like clerics, they get their magic from the gods.

Enchanter: A general name for someone who uses magic.

Hydromancer: Specifically focuses on controlling water or liquid.

Illusionist: Uses magic to create illusions. Also known as evokers or conjurers.

Mage: Similar to the sorcerer, but instead of relying on willpower and instinct, they are more uniform, while sorcerers are more on the creative side.

Necromancer: Specifically focuses on reanimation of the dead.

Oneiromancer: Specifically focuses on dreams and prediction of the future.

Pyromancer: Specifically focuses on controlling fire.

Sorcerer: Does not learn magic, and instead has it within them. This can be, for example, because it is in their bloodline.

Warlock: Gains magic from a divinity or higher power. The magic equivalent of fucking your teacher for grades.

Witch: Does magic that is particularly focused on plants, herbs, healing, and cooking. Witches mostly make potions and have familiars (most commonly cats, frogs/toads, rats or ravens)

Wizard: Learns magic from books and study. Many also have staffs, wands, or another means of casting spells.

Let me know if i missed anything!

585 notes - Posted August 24, 2022

ah, the magic gender discourse post

#4

LIBERAL WILL WOOD

THE DIFFERENT ALBUM

LAPLACE’S DEVIL

LOVE ME GAYLY

I/Me/Myself

BISEXUAL BOX WARRIOR

TRANGENDER LAWYER

TOMCAT DIVERSITY

886 notes - Posted August 18, 2022

i could have just put all the actual song titles

#3

every will wood song

[scatting] babygirl i am severely mentally ill

932 notes - Posted August 12, 2022

whys it always the will wood posts fr

#2

wait so you guys know how the hermit species is canonically short? and how they all keep calling bdubs short? i like to think bdubs is only a tiny bit smaller than the rest of them. like, not enough for an average person to notice but enough for the hermits to notice. i’m just picturing like

Grian (literally tiny compared to Joel): lmao bdubs is so short am i right

Joel (an 11-foot-tall god that can’t see the difference between them): uh. yeah lmao imagine.

2,026 notes - Posted November 6, 2022

this one was unexpected fr

My #1 post of 2022

2,735 notes - Posted August 6, 2022

god every time i see this post i remember the person who said that scarian had more content than grumbo and i dont wanna engage in Shipping Discoure because im mature and have grown out of shipping wars but someone actually fucking hold me back. you come into MY house-

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[taesugakookiess]

Watch Me | J.M ♥️

Summary: You’ll see.

Requested? Yes

Warning: badass volleyball game and a cute ending

@jackaverysboo @jackaverybabe @jackslittleavery @majesticmarais @samithepixie @im-on-something-different @jackaverx @callykim @lovableherron @heyowdw @dailydoseofherron

 ~

Sarah’s Team

~

"You on your way?" Cally asked me, "The game's about to start in an hour." "Yeah, I'll be there, trust me," I answered, slipping my volleyball shorts on. "Well you'd better hurry," She snapped. "Okay, Mom." "Pft, see you later," She laughed. I threw my hair into a ponytail to the back and slid my white headband on my head. I grabbed my duffle bag and went downstairs. "Good Morning sweetie, ready for this big day?" "Yeah, I'm a little nervous," I grabbed my cold water bottle out of the fridge. "Just relax, we'll celebrate afterward, you've got this," She encouraged me, it felt good actually. "Thanks, Mom," I said kissing her cheek, I grabbed the keys, "I'll start the car." "Alright, I'll be out," she said. I hurried down the path in front of our house to my mom's old space gray station wagon and unlocked the driver seat door. As I stuck the key in the ignition, I continued to encourage myself about the volleyball game that was awaiting me. I crawled from the Driver's seat to the passenger's seat when I saw my mom come down the path. "Music?" She offered when she got in the car. "Sure," I thought about it, maybe it'll ease me up. I twisted the music knob, a song that I heard before sounded pretty good so I left it there. "Don't you love these boys?" My mom trolled me. "Mom," I laughed and rested my hand on my forehead. "I'm serious, what's their name, Why can't they?" She asked, clearly getting a kick out it. "It's why don't we," I corrected her, shaking my head. "They are cute, don't they go to your school?" "Yes, Mother." "You should talk to one of them, don't you like Jonah? Is that his name," She giggled. "MOM." "Oh you're no fun, Sarah," She rolled her eyes. When we drove into the parking lot of the high school, my stomach clenched. I hopped out the front seat and opened the trunk door, grabbing my Adidas duffle bag and my Five Below water bottle. I started toward the school gym's big doors. I could hear talking and laughing as I got closer, the butterflies in my stomach started to flutter again. My mom opened the gym doors, "I'll be sitting down," She smiled. "Okay," I said lifting my head up with confidence as I felt eyes staring at me from the bleachers. Cally screeched when she saw me and yanked my arm, "TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH." "I'm sorry," I laughed. "Forcing me to be here by myself with all these people," She scowled at me. She looked me up and down, "You look good." I slumped, "Cally. It's a volleyball uniform." "I know, you look good in it." "Thanks," I smiled as I ran my finger across her arm. "Wait, don't look now but Jonah fucking Marais is giving you every eyeball of his attention right now," She whispered aggressively. I couldn't help myself but to look so I looked around and saw Jonah and his friends, he was most definitely eyeballing me. My heart thumped when I saw literally every boy from Why Don't We and their girlfriends sitting in the bleachers, I had to do really good now. My crush, Jonah, and all his friends are going to be watching me. "Brookes, I need to talk to you," Coach Vicky said pointing her clipboard at me. I set my bag on the side of the bleachers and I walked over to her, "Yes?" "Nervous?" "Yeah, definitely," I said nodding my head. "No need to be, remember teamwork alright?" "Yes." "Game starts in 5, get to your positions," She announced to all of us. I took a quick gulp of my water and jogged to my position as the setter, Cally was the middle blocker. I shook my hands, silently encouraging myself. The other team looked at each of us, we confidently ignored their glares. We had this, "Everyone lined up?" I asked. "Cally needs to move back just a little," Haleigh said adjusting her white headband. I looked to see if Jonah was still watching me, he smiled at me, I quickly turned my head, blushing. It was the other team's serve so their server grabbed the ball and held the ball in her left hand with her right hand balled up. She hit the ball making the ball fly in the air, then jumped up and slapped the ball to our side. Cally quickly hit the ball, causing the ball to reverse to their side. Haleigh, our outside hitter, was prepared to defend our side, her eyes focused on the ball as the opposite team's libero slapped the ball to our side. She threw her hand in the air, missing the ball, the ball rolled past me, which meant they won that round.

I put my hands on my knees, sweating, "It's alright, we got the next round," Haleigh whispered to me. I nodded my head, agreeing. Cally looked at me with a worried face, she was just as nervous as I was. The next round came, we were still confident. It was our turn to serve, Cally was gonna be our server. I had faith in her. She held the ball in her hand, took a deep breath, her eyes pierced through the ball as she threw it in the air, she slapped it with all determination to win this round. It slapped against the other team's right side hitter's hand, it flew back to our side. Sivan, our outside hitter slapped it towards me. This was my call. I had to get it or our team was done for. The ball almost flew past me when I jumped one step back from where I was standing and aggressively smacked the ball to the other side, it hit the ground on their side. My heart did a huge dance when I heard cheers from behind me, I turned around and saw Jonah cheering and chiming at me. My mom was cheering, holding her camera in the air. We had 25 points and so did they. We needed 65 more points for us to win.

It was a tie, each team had 50 points. This was the last round, we had to win this. I heard Jonah shouting from behind me, "You've got this Sarah!" That boosted my motivation. I was determined to win this round. I was thinking about how proud Jonah would be of me if our team won, our school, the Coach, my Mom, everyone was counting on us. "We got this," I shouted to my team. Cally nodded confidently, Haleigh rubbed her hands, Sivan cracked her knuckles. Maggie, our libero, cooed. Lola, our right side hitter, growled at the opposing team. They should've been shaking, we weren't joking around. Maggie grabbed the ball, she was our server. "GO MAGGIE," We all heard, coming from behind us. She threw the ball into the air and struck it to their side. The setter of their team slapped it to our side, Lola, Sivan, and Cally struggled for the ball. Lola slapped the ball to their side, their libero slid to the ground trying to catch the ball, she missed. Their setter ran to slap the ball to our side. Cally slapped the ball to me, I delivered the final blow, violently striking the ball to the ground. Everyone jumped up and ran to hug me, grabbing me for a group hug. Everyone cheered in the bleachers. I wiped the sweat off of my forehead, "Look," Cally pointed behind me. I turned to see Jonah standing there waiting for me to finish wiping my sweat. I smiled at him, he smiled at me, "That was a good game, Sarah," He said. "Thanks," I said totally blushing, "Wait, how do you know my name?" "Haha, It's going around the school that you have a crush on me," He winked. My heart flew away, "Oh my gosh, who said that?" I looked around to see my friends laughing at me. "Don't worry about it," He said playfully tapping my elbow, "How about I take you out for dinner?" My cheeks got blood red, "Uh, haha, s-s-sure," I stuttered. He smiled, "Cool, I'll see you then," He kissed my cheek, placing a piece of paper with his number on it in my back pocket. My mouth dropped open, "WOAH," Cally snorted. I was feeling the same way, this was the best day ever.

~

To Sarah♥️

P.S if you were in this story, reblog😂

[ashspren-writes]

I posted 159 times in 2021

18 posts created (11%)

141 posts reblogged (89%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 7.8 posts.

I added 40 tags in 2021

#ao3 - 6 posts

#tsoa - 5 posts

#patroclus - 4 posts

#fic - 4 posts

#six of crows - 4 posts

#patrochilles - 4 posts

#achilles - 4 posts

#grishaverse - 3 posts

#the iliad - 3 posts

#the song of achilles - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 50 characters

#feel like a lot of characters would vibe with this

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Wedding Part 2: Electric Boogaloo

At long last, my piece for the @historyinthemakingzine has been posted! Thanks so much to @scone-lover and @caitybug for putting this together––I had an amazing time.

Shout-out to @subparselkie for being the absolute best and collaborating with me. 💛💛💛 Check out her art above!

Here's the link to the fic:

50 notes • Posted 2021-07-25 19:10:40 GMT

#4

☀️ the more things seem to change (the more they stay the same) ☀️

Rating: T | Words: 7.5K | Chapters: 1/1

Summary: 

Achilles turns back to Patroclus. “So. Not too bad, right? We can keep this up for tomorrow?”

Can Patroclus keep this up? Yes. What will it cost? His sanity, dignity, and potentially a few years off his life.

He grins. “Yeah. We make a pretty handsome couple.”

~~~

When Achilles asks Patroclus to be his date for his rich, eccentric great-uncle’s seventh wedding, Patroclus can see the rationale––they’re best friends, and they’ve been inseparable for years. It's intended as a small favor.

There’s one catch, though: It’s all fake. But Patroclus is actually in love with Achilles, and this very well may kill him.

A Californian, fake-dating, modern high school AU in which Patroclus deals with Achilles’s crazy family and barely survives his not-so-unrequited feelings.

This has been a WIP for a few months now... I’m so excited that it’s finished! I think Patroclus and Achilles deserve literally the entire world a little bit of happiness, so please enjoy this painless, happy one shot (and thank you to @scone-lover for beta-ing) 💛

Read on AO3:

54 notes • Posted 2021-01-31 22:24:03 GMT

#3

no one talk to me, i just finished young royals and will be unable to say anything except “fuck august” for the next 7-10 business days

65 notes • Posted 2021-07-18 07:57:03 GMT

#2

r/AITA: AITA for avenging my boyfriend?

I [26 M] will admit that I’ve made many mistakes in the past. I know for a fact that I have anger issues, and I don’t have the best relationship with either of my parents. I lived with my dad growing up, and my mom lived with her family. My relationship with her became really strained when I started dating my boyfriend [28 M] when we were teenagers. I don’t think Mom is homophobic, but she was definitely unsupportive because of his past and his family.

My boyfriend and I got drafted for war (kind of against my will, but I wanted to fight, so it’s a long story) and my mom was super upset. She wanted me to hide so that I wouldn’t have to fight, so I left my boyfriend at home and let my mom drag me away. She even set me up with a girlfriend––she got pregnant, and I didn’t even know I had a son until recently. Either way, I was discovered, and I left for the war. My boyfriend came with me.

Fast forward 9 years, and I wasn’t being given the respect that I deserved. I argued with a superior and, because he wouldn’t let me have any sort of command, I basically benched myself and refused to fight. My boyfriend agreed that he was in the wrong but told me to stop being difficult and respect my commander’s authority. I refused, and I feel really bad about it now.

Basically, my boyfriend and the strategists decided to dress him in my uniform (I was kind of a big deal and a desirable target for the other side). He eliminated one of their biggest fighters, but he was unfortunately killed by their first-in-command. Understandably, I was super upset and distraught by this, and I wanted revenge for him.

I went out into the field and basically went on a rampage. I found their first-in-command, killed him, and hitched him to my chariot and dragged him around the walls of Troy.

Honestly, I get why people might be upset with me. But I think I’m at least a little bit in the right here. AITA?

107 notes • Posted 2021-10-18 20:25:20 GMT

#1

ao3: *crashes*

me, surrounded by literal books: well now what am i supposed to read

3444 notes • Posted 2021-01-05 04:53:02 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[jjkookiecrumbs]

All the numbers!

Oh wow thank you

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?I think so!

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?Age-wise, yes, since it is only one year older than I am now. I’m currently dating a 19 year old, though, which I’m totally and completely fine with the age difference.

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?That’s an interesting combination of emotions,, probably this weekend because my boyfriend always tries to aggravate me but it’s silly and I love him 

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?Yeah, but not a full, toothy smile

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?HAHA YEAH it’s funny because they’re literally controlling :)

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?Yes, I was listening to Bleachers today which always reminds me of my boyfriend

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?A t-shirt and shorts

8. How often do you listen to music?Multiple times a day

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?Jeans

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2019?Yes, starting college and moving out is a huge change and I really can’t wait.

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?Depends on my mood, more social than not though, I think.

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?Yes

13. What about ‘R’?Nope

14. Can you drive a stick shift?No, I’d like to learn how to though!

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?Kind of, I try to pretend like I don’t, but I really want to be a good person.

16. Are you going out of town soon?I don’t think so,,

17. When was the last time you cried?Today, about half an hour ago

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?My boyfriend and my ex (lololol) 

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?Maybe.. I kind of like my hazel eyes though

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?@jaxjpeg​

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.Uh, like most of it

22. Is it cute when people kiss you on your forehead?Yes!!

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?Yeah, I’m talking to him as I type all of this out.

24. What are you sitting on right now?My bed

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?Yes! My boyfriend and one of my best friends.

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?Other than celebrities, only once. They don’t know who they are but they follow me on here, if they ever find out,,,, that’ll be interesting

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?Jax!

28. Do you get a lot of colds?Not really

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?@wickedclothes​

30. Does anyone hate you?Probably!

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?Not any empty ones!!

32. Do you like watching scary movies?I love them

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?No thanks

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?WOW THAT’S HARD I dont think I’d actually delete a whole year because I learned so much from the shit I went through and I wouldn’t be who I am today without those experiences.

35. Did you have a dream last night?Yeah it was wack, one of the gaybies at my school came to visit me at work on 4/13 (which is wild because I do work on 4/13 this year) and they were dressed as dave and like?? called me Rose and it was weird because 1) I was in my work uniform, not dressed as Rose, and 2) in the dream I knew that they had never spoken to me in real life.

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?Today

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?Hopefully!

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?Yes!! my boyf

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?Yeah, one I know of at least

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?Yeah, 

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?Yep!

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?Yeah, if spending time with friends at school counts

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?Yes

44. What’s the best part about school?Lunchtime and friends

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?A ton.

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?I used to!

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?Constantly

48. Were you single over the last summer?Nope

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?Not at all

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?Homework!

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?Not at all

52. Are you nice to everyone?I try to be! If they cross me even slightly, though, they’re dead to me :)

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?Not really

54. Are you good at hiding your feelings?Not at all

55. Do you think you like someone?I know I like someone,, I know I love someone

56. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?Yes

57. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?Both wtf do people actually prefer this

58. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?Like,, all of them, not in real life, though

59. Do you hate anyone?Many people

60. How’s your heart?kinda fucked up

61. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?LOTS OF THINGS HAHAHA

62. Have you ever cried over a guy?Out of anger, yes

63. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?HAHAHA THIS GIRL i’m not friends with her any more but I work with her and she despises me now but :) 

64. Are your toenails painted pink?Nope

65. Will your next kiss be a mistake?Nope

66. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?I love seeing him being vulnerable with me, but seeing him cry always makes my heart ache

67. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?No, luckily!

68. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?Jax! And I’m still on the phone with him

69. How do you look right now?Probably bad because I cried, but somehow my makeup’s still intact, so not that bad I suppose

70. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?Jax!71. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?Jax!

72. Have you ever felt replaced?Yeah

73. Did you wake up cranky?Nope! Because I woke up next to my boy

74. Are you a jealous person?Certainly

75. Are relationships ever worth it?Definitley

76. Anyone you’re giving up on?Nah, I already cut all of the shitty people out of my life

77. Currently wanting to see anyone?Jax pleaseeee

78. Name something you have to do tomorrow?School

79. Last person you cried in front of?Jax

80. Is there someone you will never forget?There are many, most didn’t leave a positive effect on my life, though

81. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?Yes and I love it

82. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?Cuddling, I’d probably be crying

83. Are you over your past?No haha I have c-ptsd for a reason

84. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?Nope

85. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?@jaxjpeg, even though he makes fun of me for a lot of things.

86. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?I would accept the apology, but definitely wouldn’t get back together with her. I’d be up to being friends though

87. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?Definitely

88. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?Yeah lol, they’re not my friends anymore.

89. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?Yes, I know so

90. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?Multiple people

91. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?Nope

92. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?I hit a rough patch with my boyfriend so we broke up for a short while. It was probably the most terrible mistake I’ve ever made, and that says a lot. I would truly do anything for him and I love him more than anything in this universe.

93. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?Completely

94. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?No, it was my mom

95. Who do you have texts from?None unreadright now

96. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?UHHH I’ve dealt with that before lmaooooo anyways I get real jealous real fast

97. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?Yes, actually only people older than me

98. Who’s in your profile picture with you?It’s just me lmao

99. Ever kissed under fireworks?Yes! It’s a magical time

100. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?My boyfriend and the one who shall not be named because they follow me and have no idea.

[im-coming-to-you-live]

SpongeBob- Greying Gracefully

Yeah I keep forgetting I have a tumblr. Hey, this exists.

Greying Gracefully Summary: SpongeBob finds a grey hair and begins to worry about his premature aging. Rated: T for Teen; 13+ Characters: Squidward, SpongeBob, Sandy, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Pearl, Gary Pairing(s): None Genre: Coming of age/ Friendship Word Count: 6, 058 Fic belongs to me.

SpongeBob Musical belongs to Kyle Jarrow (who wrote the book).

SpongeBob © Nickelodeon.

[X-posted from deviantART]

It was supposed to be the quintessential ‘’best day ever’’, like it was every morning. The sun was shining, and the hills were alive with the sound of music. Nothing could possibly ruin this most perfect of perfect days, that is, until SpongeBob spotted a lone grey hair, interloping among his platinum-colored tresses. His first instinct was not to panic. ‘Okay,’ he told himself, ‘No biggie. It’s only one. And hey, silver’s a pretty color, maybe no one will notice since my hair’s so light anyway,’ but when he went to go pluck it, he found another, and yet another, silver wisps upon silver wisps. He felt the color drain from his face, just as the color had from his hair. He tried to remain optimistic, but wasn’t he a little too young to be going grey? Now, at the age of 25, a few grey strands multiplied to what seemed like nearly a hundred, silently taunting him when he looked in the mirror as if to say, “You’re getting old. You’re getting old. You’re getting old.” He had never been one to fear the future. Rather, he looked forward to it. He looked forward to the day he would turn Squidward’s age and look wise and distinguished with all those lines chiseled into his face like the rocky mountains Sandy often spoke of after her trip to New Mexico last summer. Plus, Squidward’s grey scalp looked becoming to his natural sea-green locks. It reminded SpongeBob of fluffy clouds floating over the ocean surface. He looked forward to the day he would turn Mr. Krabs’s age and still look physically fit, with hardly a wrinkle albeit attractive smile lines, and a load full of pepper and salt chest hair. Yes, the older men in his life made him feel excited to grow old. ‘’To grow old,’’ he once remarked to their wrinkled noses, ‘’Would be an awfully big adventure.’’

‘’You have no idea, kid,’’ they both told him, but SpongeBob had to laugh. To his eyes, they both aged gracefully. But then again, he had never known them to be young. He remembered sauntering into Mr. Krabs’s office one day, only to find it empty. Instead, he found an old-fashioned picture frame stuffed into one of the desk drawers, face down. SpongeBob didn’t mean to pry but curiosity got the best of him, and so he lifted the picture frame from its hiding place and wiped away the dust which coated the glass with his sweater. He didn’t immediately recognize the young man in the black and white photo—handsome, with a strong resemblance to Mr. Krabs. It couldn’t have been, could it? SpongeBob remembered removing the photo from its frame and flipping it to the backside, but there was no date. It must have been taken around 1960-something. 1964  or '65 was his wild guess. Mr. Krabs was pictured in a Navy uniform, with inky black hair and a darker complexion than he sported now. He looked almost exotic, like Egyptian. For some reason, it was eerie and haunting. The man who went off to war would never return the same man he left.  Mr. Krabs never talked about it, but SpongeBob heard stories about what kind of man he was when he came home... Pearl’s grandmother had said she didn’t even recognize her own son. But Mr. Krabs seemed happy here, and so unaware of what was to come. The soldier smiled back at him as if he knew of his innocence. He seemed both eager for its loss and nostalgic for those few years of naiveté behind him. Deeper in the drawer, SpongeBob uncovered yet another photograph, this time of Mr. Krabs in full service dress, with his name tag centered on the right breast pocket. He wasn’t smiling in this one. Most soldiers wanted to escape the draft, probably the reason for him not following the rules (his cap was off, and his left hand was in his pocket, a rakish disregard for the regulation that a soldier in war could never, ever stick a hand in his pocket ).  The hand in the pocket was almost a silent rebellion. The pockets that were empty in the photograph would soon bulge with hand grenades, extra ammunition, food, and many of the gross of condoms they were issued before a combat jump. SpongeBob held these photos side-by-side to compare them. One soldier was happy. The other was not. They almost looked like two different people. But they were both Mr. Krabs, taken in a moment of time, months apart. Is this why he had locked them away? Could he not come to terms with his own aging that began in his mere twenties? And then there was Squidward. SpongeBob had visited his neighbor’s Eastern Island home one day only to find him hiding secrets, too. He had a library under the stairs—not nearly as impressive as SpongeBob’s but the porifera couldn’t resist—and when SpongeBob intruded when Squidward wasn’t looking, he found what appeared to be a high school year book on one of the shelves. ‘’Farlingaye High’’ it said on the cover. Inside, he found quite a few surprises. One Polaroid depicted Squidward entering his amateur piece into the school art show—he proudly held it up: a little painting of Neptune-knows-what. His mum stood beside him, beaming at her little artist son. Between her hands, she held his cheap plastic briefcase that carried all his books. It wasn’t a proper grown-up briefcase that a few of the brain-box nerds had inherited from their dads. Squidward had ‘’graffitied’’ his up a bit—but come to think of it, it was still pretty geeky. Squidward looked no different than he did now, except of course he didn’t have crow’s feet, and so SpongeBob couldn’t possibly mistake the identity. He was still tall and lanky, only this time with prominent buckteeth, bespectacled, spotty, and wore braces. He was nerdy but still charming. Actually, he kind of looked like SpongeBob. But something else was different about him. He looked genuinely happy, with the excited look of a child at Christmas in his eyes, an expression of innocent glee that SpongeBob had never seen in the older Squidward. The next Polaroid, with a stain in the right corner, depicted Squidward in a class photo, wearing a blue cardigan that his mother had probably knitted for him, and a shaggy Brady Bunch haircut that was popular at the time. Again, he looked happy. But then in his graduation photo, wearing his honorary cap and gown, his diploma in his hands, he had the all-too familiar stern look he had now. And he was only 18. What happened? ‘’ I hated German,’’ he remembered Squidward saying as he came into the library to find SpongeBob crouched over his yearbook. SpongeBob hurriedly tried to close the book and return it to its proper place, but Squidward didn’t seem to mind so much. He came up beside him and pointed at his young self and said, ‘’It was’t the subject, it was the incredibly dull, dull, dull teacher. I was always getting shouted at and sent out of the class for messing around. I was always mortified having to take that walk of shame to the door. I was such a loser. Y’know, I got picked on all the time.’’ ‘’Is that why you look so unhappy here?’’ SpongeBob asked. ‘’Yes,’’ Squidward admitted sadly, before realizing his error, and snapped, ‘’I mean no! I was itching to be done with school because, by about 13, I knew I wanted to go off to performing arts college, but I could barely afford it. Looking back, high school only lasted a few years! I should have relaxed and tried to enjoy and get more out of it.’’ And with that, he closed the book and shooed SpongeBob out of the library. He was never allowed to bring up Squidward’s high school days ever again. As SpongeBob studied his grey hairs in the bathroom mirror, he wondered what he would look like in twenty years, fifty. Seeing how rapidly Squidward and Mr. Krabs aged in their youth, when they were supposed to be in the prime of their life, he wondered what he would look like in only a few months from now. Would he forget how to smile? Would he be frowning on his 26th birthday? Was it possible to grow old before he reached 30? He didn’t mind getting old, it was inevitable, but he didn’t want to get old now. He sighed, and walking out of the bathroom, he found Gary sprawled out on his side on the bed, completely content. ‘’Gary, can I ask you an honest question?’’ The snail rustled, looking annoyed that he had been disturbed from his nap. When he finally focused his eyes on SpongeBob, he said, ‘’Do you think I look…old?’’ Gary took one look at him and replied with a sarcastic, ‘’Meow.’’ SpongeBob frowned. ‘’Gee, thanks. You’re a real pal.’’                                                                               *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ‘’ I’m only 25! I found my first grey hair and I might be going bald.’’ SpongeBob complained as Squidward sat him down in a chair. ‘’Congratulations, you’re turning into me,’’ Squidward grumbled. ‘’You lost your hair at my age?’’ SpongeBob gasped. Squidward continued to stare at SpongeBob, not amused, then pointed to his hair, which, despite a receding hairline, he mostly still had. ‘’Gracious me, now where did all my hair go?’’ ‘’Did you check between your legs? That’s where most of my hair is.’’ Squidward slapped his forehead at such disbelief. ‘’You’re such a twit.’’ The boy shrugged. ‘’I dunno. I thought maybe it was a toupee.’’ ‘’Then yank on it.’’ SpongeBob did, reaching out to grab fist fulls of Squidward’s hair to see if it was really attached to his scalp, and it must have been, because he yelped, ‘’Ouch, not so hard, you prat!’’ and he shoved SpongeBob away. Yup, it was definitely real. And soft. Synthetic hair wouldn’t be that soft.   ‘’This is awful!’’ SpongeBob began to cry into his hands. ‘’Am I gonna be all white before thirty, Squidward?’’ ‘’Mellow fucking out, SpongeBob,’’ Squidward snapped. ‘’You’re still young. You have your whole life before you.’’ ‘’Before me?’’ he wailed. ‘’No, all is over for me! I’m dying!’’ Squidward rolled his eyes. ‘’I didn’t think you were so vain. Hey, is this the same guy who said growing old would be fun?’’ ‘’Yeah, but…I’m not old. I mean, I didn’t expect to be turning grey until twenty years from now,’’ SpongeBob said, wiping his eyes on his shirt. ‘’Exactly. You’re not old. Look, sometimes you get a few grey hairs here and there, doesn’t mean you’re aging.’’ ‘’Then what’s happening to me?’’ ‘’There’s nothing wrong with you…Well, alright, there’s a million things wrong with you but a grey hair or two is the least of your problems. You’re freaking out over nothing.’’ Squidward approached him, and then with a comb in tow, he parted SpongeBob’s blonde tresses to inspect the so-called ‘’damage’’. After a few moments of brushing through SpongeBob’s hair, he shook his head and said, ‘’Oh yes, this looks very bad.’’ SpongeBob felt his heart sink. ‘’How bad?’’ ‘’Very very. More serious than I thought. Tsk tsk. There’s a few more back here you didn’t catch. You poor ol’ chap. I suppose your entire head will be all white before thirty.’’ SpongeBob clutched his chest and moaned in fright at such dreadful news. But then he heard Squidward laughing. ‘’What’s so funny?’’ he demanded through the tears welling in his eyes. ‘’I’m just messing with you!’’ Squidward chuckled. ‘’Aside from a few grey strands, your head looks completely fine. Blonde as ever. And you’re not going bald, you have enough hair to make a wig for a grape!’’ SpongeBob stood from his chair and punched Squidward in the chest. He didn’t appreciate the sarcasm, not now in a time like this when he really needed his help. ‘’Oh c’mon, SpongeBob, it was a joke!’’ Squidward tried to reason, but SpongeBob wasn’t having it. ‘’If you’re not going to help me, I’ll find someone who will,’’ SpongeBob proclaimed as he made his way to the door. ‘’Can’t you see I’m ailing? You know what, Squid, you’re so full of—‘’ ‘’Alright!’’ Squidward cut him off. ‘’No need to get nasty. I’ll just cut the greys, and give you some coloring if you want. It’s what I use.’’ This didn’t ease SpongeBob’s worries. ‘’I’m going to have to color my own hair?’’ ‘’Look, it’s not going to turn grey overnight. Those few follicles that lost their pigment won’t affect the surrounding hairs. At most, those are the only grey hairs you’ll have for awhile. As you get older, it’ll get more grey. You’ll most likely still be blonde at thirty. It’s a gradual change, SpongeBob. You get used to it.’’ ‘’Were you greying at my age?’’ Squidward sighed. ‘’Younger than you, actually. In my late teens. You’re lucky. At least you’re almost thirty, in five years. For me, it was over by thirty. It runs in the family. My cousin’s been coloring her hair since she was twenty-two. I used to wonder what propelled my mother to keep her hair dark brown at sixty, when it long ago decided it wanted to be white at twenty-eight. But I’m just as guilty as her now. Truth is, it has very little to do with fear of aging and a lot more to do with an unwillingness to look and, some might say, act my age. I’m one of those people frequently mistaken for someone much younger, and I admit I like it. So sue me.’’ SpongeBob looked at Squidward’s glorious head of hair and couldn’t blame him. Aside from sporting a white skunk stripe down the middle, you couldn’t even tell he had been coloring his hair all these years, nor could you tell he was grey under all that natural looking turquoise. He didn’t even look old, even if he had kept his hair grey. SpongeBob came back to his chair and let Squidward cut out the grey hairs before the older man sent him home with hair dye and pre-shampoo conditioner to keep the coarse, wiry grey hairs moisturized and smooth when they grew back. SpongeBob was grateful to Squidward, but at the same time, he didn’t know if he was ready to start all the daily hair treatments of his 45-year-old neighbor. ‘Well,’ he thought, trying to cheer himself up, ‘I always did think we were something like brothers, but this isn’t quite what I had in mind.’ He began to fear the worst: What if he checked into a retirement home the same day as Squidward, while his younger looking, more vital friends—with their beautiful, un-grey hair—had to pay him burdensome visits? If people remarked that Squidward looked exceptionally young for his age, he wondered if he would begin to look too old for his age. Time for a second opinion.                                                                                  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ‘’Did I ever find a grey hair?’’ Patrick echoed the question as he tread into the kitchen for another grape soda. SpongeBob followed behind him, waiting for an answer. After Patrick opened a soda and handed it to SpongeBob he said, ‘’Nope, can’t say I ever had. But if I ever found a green hair, well, that’s a different story.’’ He opened another soda, took a sip, then continued, ‘’I tried to dye my hair blue once. It turned green for some reason. Or was it lilac? Actually, what is lilac? Is that, like, yellow?’’ ‘’Purple,’’ SpongeBob explained. ‘’Lilac’s purple, Patrick.’’ ‘’Purple Patrick, maybe that was it. Hey, I didn’t know there was a color named after me!’’ In spite of himself, SpongeBob had to laugh. Patrick always found a way to cheer him up. ‘’Yeah, no, about my question…so like, never ever?’’ ‘’What was the question again?’’ ‘’If you ever found a grey hair?’’ ‘’If you ever found a grey hair?’ ‘’No, you.’’ ‘’Got it.’’ And Patrick took another lengthy chug from his soda, nearly emptying it. SpongeBob waited for him to say something else, but he didn’t. He seemed to have forgotten what they were even talking about. ‘’Patrick?’’ ‘’Yeah?’’ ‘’Well?’’ ‘’What?’’ ‘’Did you?’’ ‘’Did I what?’’ ‘’Find a grey hair?’’ He blinked, registering the question for a moment, then he suddenly seemed to comprehend. ‘’Oh right. No, I don’t think so.’’ ‘’Positive?’’ ‘’Affirmative. I mean, you can look if you want. Don’t think you’ll find anything.’’ With that, he bowed his head as low as possible, but SpongeBob still couldn’t reach so he grabbed a nearby chair and stood on top of it. But Patrick was right. As he sifted through his cotton-candy quiff, he didn’t see one hint of a silver strand. It was all beautifully bubble gum pink. SpongeBob felt a little jealous. Patrick was 28, and he hadn’t a single sign of greying anytime soon. He would probably still have pink hair at Mr. Krabs’s age. He sighed, and hopped off the chair. Patrick noticed his sour mood and asked, ‘’What’s wrong? It’s lice, isn’t it?’’ ‘’Huh? No, your hair looks fine. Great, actually.’’ ‘’Then what is it?’’ He rubbed his arm, and said, ‘’I...found a few grey hairs this morning.’’ ‘’Seriously? But you’re like, a baby!’’ Patrick joked. But SpongeBob wasn’t laughing. ‘’I’m serious.’’ ‘’Don’t worry about it, buddy. Sandy will know what to do,’’ he said, patting SpongeBob on the back. Sandy, of course. Why didn’t he think of it before? With that, he stood on his tiptoes to plant a kiss on Patrick’s forehead, but he couldn’t reach, so he kissed him on the cheek instead. ‘’Patrick, you’re a genius!’’ And he rushed to the door, but not fast enough in time, for he could hear Patrick angrily remarking as he left, ‘’What did I say?! Just ‘cause you’re turning old, don’t take it out on me! I was just trying to help! You know what, SpongeBob? Screw you! You’re a genius, and it’s showing too!‘’                                                                              *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ‘’Stress, genetics, B-12 deficiency…a lot of reasons people turn grey in their twenties,’’ Sandy explained. ‘’ When your body stops producing melanin, a pigment found in the hair follicle, your hair goes grey. Another factor that may contribute to grey hair is the buildup of hydrogen peroxide in the hair. As you grow older, the enzyme catalase that breaks down hydrogen peroxide diminishes. This leaves your hair bleached by hydrogen peroxide. But here’s what not to do: don’t pluck it. You’ll just go bald from all that trauma to your scalp. Use non-ammonia based color. All those chemicals ain’t healthy. Nutritionally focus on protein at breakfast and lunch—available energy to hair tissue is lowest in the morning, did you know that?--, keep hydrated and choose healthy snacks like yogurt, nuts and fruits. You can do all this, SpongeBob, but everyone’s different. You might be going prematurely grey and there’s nothing you can do about it. All you can do is accept yourself and move on.’’ ‘’Squidward said it’s a slow change, is that true?’’ ‘’He’s right, I reckon,’’ she nodded. ‘’Why? Did he share with you a ‘going grey’ story?’’ SpongeBob just chewed his bottom lip, which caused Sandy to burst out in a hearty laugh. ‘’Hah! I knew he colored his hair!’’ ‘’Is that bad?’’ ‘’Nah,’’ she snorted. ‘’Half the population probably does. Y’know, I just thought of something funnier than all that.’’ ‘’What?’’ ‘’ Caucasians begin to grey in their mid-30’s, Asians in their late 30’s and African Americans in their 40’s, according to a 2011 research analysis published in The Dermatologist. On average, 50 percent of the population will have 50 percent grey hair by the age of 50. Gender seems to play a role as well: Men start greying closer to 30, while women begin to notice grey hairs around 35. So don’t worry about it. Even if you turn grey sooner than all’s the rest of us, give us five more years, and we’ll be greying together.’’ With that, she slapped her knee. She thought it was a riot, but SpongeBob failed to see the humor in all this. ‘’Patrick’s a little older than me, and he hasn’t found his first silvery strand yet,’’ SpongeBob admitted sadly. ‘’Everybody’s different,’’ she shrugged. ‘’But if you’re worried about your mortality, your hair’s got nothing to do with it. You’ll live long, still. You’re a sponge, for crying out loud.’’                                                                               *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * He hoped Sandy was right, but as he left her Treedome, he wondered if he would ever be able to accept himself someday with a head full of grey or white hair. Would he be like Squidward’s mother, and continue to color his hair well into his sixties? It was a ridiculous thought, having blonde hair at that age. But as he bumped into Mr. Krabs on his way to the Krusty Krab, he realized maybe it wasn’t so ridiculous. Mr. Krabs was about 70, he realized, and he sported bright red hair. But then SpongeBob suddenly recalled the old photograph of Mr. Krabs in his navy uniform, and though the picture wasn’t in color, his hair looked too dark back then to be red, or even a burnt auburn. Did he…? ‘’Boyo, didn’t see ya there!’’ Mr. Krabs bellowed. ‘’Hey, Mr. Krabs,’’ he solemnly smiled. ‘’Say, can I ask you something?’’ Mr. Krabs narrowed his eyes into slits and scrutinized SpongeBob like a fly on the wall. ‘’If you’re asking me permission to take out me darlin’, beautiful daughter, a teenager, mind, on a date—‘’ ‘’What? No, Mr. Krabs, I—‘’ But the expression on the retired vet’s face quickly changed into a friendly smile, and he rustled SpongeBob’s hair with his meaty claw to show he meant well. ‘’I’m just joshin’, lad, relax! Should’ve seen the look on yer face! Got ya, didn’t I?’’ and he chuckled his familiar sailor’s laugh. ‘’Yeah. Heh. You got me,’’ SpongeBob tried to laugh along. ‘’Look, Mr. Krabs, I just—‘’ But Mr. Krabs wasn’t listening. He got that look in his eyes that he often did when he thought of a brilliant business venture. SpongeBob knew it all too well, because he titled his head back and rubbed his chin in deep thought. ‘’Come to think of it, that’s not a half bad idea. Could get Pearly outta me hair for a few hours. That is, if ya don’t mind.’’ ‘’Sure, whatever, but—‘’ ‘’She’s been drivin’ me crazy, that kid! Y’know how much the phone bill was this month? Calling and texting! I swear, she’s as bad as her grandmother, she’s got that phone growing right outta her ear! I caught her talkin’ to some friend at two in the mornin’! Two! What’s with kids these days?’’ ‘’It’s a mystery,’’ SpongeBob agreed. ‘’Look, can I ask you—‘’ But Mr. Krabs cut him off again. ‘’She’s eatin’ me outta house and home! I can’t wait till she finds a nice man to settle down with and move out. Well, truth be told it breaks me heart to think of it. You try to hold them as long as you can, but then a day comes when they don’t want to be around you no more. SpongeBob, never have children. You’ll live longer. I’ve been going grey since the day she was born.’’ ‘’That’s what I want to ask you about.’’ Mr. Krabs suddenly snapped his head towards SpongeBob as a dark look crossed him. ‘’You’re poppin’ me the question, ain’t ya, laddy?’’ ‘’Huh? What are you even talking about?’’ Mr. Krabs slung a strong arm around his shoulders and pulled him close. ‘’You’re a nice kid, SpongeBob. I’ve always thought of you as the son I never had. But I don’t know if you’re right for Pearl. No offense. So before you ask, I just have to say one thing: you’re already part of the family, and if you think marrying me daughter is going to get you that promotion, then think again. Because family or no family, you’re just not manager material!’’ SpongeBob blinked, and then shook his head. ‘’It’s not about Pearl.’’ Instead of growing relieved, this seemed to anger Mr. Krabs even more. ‘’What? Now you’re saying you’re too good for me daughter?’’ ‘’No, Pearl’s fine, it’s just—‘’ ‘’Just fine, eh?’’ ‘’She’s great, okay?’’ ‘’She’s pretty, right? Prettiest in all the seven seas?’’ ‘’Yes, absolutely!’’ ‘’So you do fancy her?!’’ Finally, SpongeBob had to push against the crab’s chest to knock some sense into him. ‘’Mr. Krabs, will you just listen to me!?’’ ‘’You’re not poppin’ the question?’’ ‘’No.’’ ‘’What is it, kiddo?’’ Mr. Krabs inquired, finally calming down. ‘’Well, you see…you dye your hair, right?’’ Mr. Krabs suddenly looked self-aware and his claws went instinctively to his head. ‘’What makes you say that?’’ ‘’Well…don’t get mad at me…but a long time ago, I saw this picture in your desk…’’ ‘’Oh, that one. Well, the cat was bound to come outta the bag sooner or later.’’ ‘’So…you went grey after the war?’’ SpongeBob asked. ‘’It was a few years after the war, actually, but yes, eventually I greyed at fifty.’’ ‘’That’s normal, isn’t it?’’ ‘’Sure, but I didn’t want me old Navy buddies to see how much I aged. And so I tried to find a dye that matched me natural color, with no luck. Me hair, SpongeBob, was a dark oak brown back in the day. Hard to believe, no? At least I wasn’t balding, but me friends still had dark hair at me age and I felt ashamed. So I holed up on a small Greek island, hoping that I’d be able to find au nat-ur-al hair color. Turns out that the only Greek colorings available were all unnatural hues of red.’’ ‘’Didn’t your friends say anything?’’ ‘’Nah. Me new red hair blended in with me claws so much, they forgot how dark I used to be. Why’re you asking me all this anyhow?’’ ‘’Oh,’’ SpongeBob smiled, ‘’No reason.’’ Mr. Krabs wasn’t so sure he believed him, but decided not to ask any more questions. ‘’So you’re picking up me daughter at eight and bringing her back no later than 9:30.’’ It wasn’t a request, it was a command. ‘’Take her somewhere fun, and make sure she throws out that damn shell phone!’’                                                                                *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * Maybe it was common for forty-somethings to dye their hair, and though he didn’t mind coloring well into Squidward’s age, he didn’t know if he could keep that up until his seventies. If Mr. Krabs was still dyeing his hair at his age, SpongeBob wondered if he would ever be able to escape. When do you stop? He was reminded of a dinner party a few months ago, when he, Patrick and Squidward decided to have a date, only for Squidward to crash the party. He kept complaining about how lonely and depressed he was, and when SpongeBob asked him why, his response was, ‘’Have you ever had to bury your own mother at 24?’’ He deeply sighed and lamented how he wished he knew how to die. SpongeBob and Patrick of course dismissed such talk, as this wasn’t unusual for Squidward, but his words haunted SpongeBob in that very moment. Squidward didn’t know how to stop what had been started. That’s kind of how SpongeBob felt now about obsessing over his greying hair. No one tells you how—or when—you’re supposed to stop. Intellectually, he knew there would  be a day when he would no longer color his hair. But how do you know when that day is? Will it be when his children go off to college? After his youngest child’s wedding? At the birth of his first grandchild? Or would he be the little old man in the nursing home who, with his last dying breath, demanded that the hair colorist be brought in for a final touchup? He shivered at the thought. And here he always regarded the two men he looked up to the most, Squidward and Mr. Krabs, as having aged gracefully. But they were as obsessed with their own mortality and vanity as SpongeBob was now at 25. He didn’t want to be like that forever, especially not at their age. All that stress would cause him to grey faster. And so as he went to pick up Pearl that night from the Krabs’ residence, he knew a teenage girl may be his last hope. Squidward and Mr. Krabs’s ‘’going grey’’ stories only made him feel ridiculous. A young man such as himself shouldn’t be trying to make himself look younger as though he were 45 or 70, going through a pre-existential crisis. Patrick’s grey-free locks—at 28—only made him feel envious. And Sandy’s cut and dry briefing didn’t help much either. He didn’t need lectures or experiences to help him through this. He just needed to let loose. He was about to knock on the door when it opened for him, and there stood Pearl in the doorway looking stunning as ever. Her dark hair, which was usually elaborately coiffed at the side of her head, was now pulled back into a bun with a pink bow to tie it in place. She wore an off-the-shoulder sweater over a sundress, plum in color, her long skirt ruffling in the light breeze. A silver bracelet danced on her wrist as she raised her arm to greet him. It matched her gold lipstick. As she looked into his eyes and gave him an innocent, childish smile suitable for a six-year-old, especially with that beauty mark at the top corner of her lip, all the breath left his body. ‘’Hi, SpongeBob,’’ she said. ‘’Um, hi.’’ He was surprised he could still speak. Pearl was just a kid, but she was growing up fast. Mr. Krabs suddenly interrupted them, appearing behind his daughter. ‘’Remember, have her back no later than 9:30, or I’ll make sure you never grill a single Krabby Patty for the rest of yer miserable life.’’ ‘’Daddy, stop embarrassing me,’’ Pearl teased, and kissed him on the nose before she stepped out onto the porch. SpongeBob suddenly felt underdressed in his blazer and khakis. He wasn’t even wearing dress shoes. ‘’Make sure she has the best time of her life or yer fired!’’ Mr. Krabs exclaimed before closing the door.     ‘’He doesn’t mean it. You know he’ll never fire you,’’ she reassured him. ‘’I know,’’ he said. ‘’Um, I don’t drive, so we have to walk…if that’s alright. Or we can take the city bus.’’ ‘’Walking’s fine. It’s nice tonight, huh?’’ and she stepped off the porch, waiting for him to follow. ‘’Say, I’m going for my boating license soon. If I get mine before the next date, we can take a drive down at the beach.’’ Next date? He hoped she didn’t think they were going steady, or was only using him to impress her friends because she had a 25-year-old ‘’boyfriend’’. He hoped she knew this was just a favor for her father, although he liked her well enough, but truthfully, she was just too young. Once they got to ground level, SpongeBob realized she wasn’t wearing her usual platform sneakers, but instead, she was wearing flats, perhaps in an attempt to make him feel taller and less awkward. ‘’So where’re taking me?’’ she asked, as she fished for her shell phone in her purse and began to text someone. He eyed her, hoping she wouldn’t be more interested in the phone than in him through the course of the night. ‘’Sssh,’’ she said, putting a finger to her lips when she noticed his look, ‘’Daddy tried to hide my phone but that’s why I always keep a spare. If he finds out I have this, I’m grounded until I graduate college.’’ SpongeBob shrugged. ‘’I won’t tell if you won’t.’’ She laughed. ‘’I always thought you were weird, but you’re kinda cool, SpongeBob.’’ He laughed too, and for the first time all day, he forgot about his dilemma. He looked at Pearl again, in her Maybelline cat eye, and avant-garde chandelier earrings, and wondered if she would ever worry about aging. She didn’t seem to worry about anything. Even though most teenagers never thought too far down the road—he knew at Pearl’s age, he didn’t; he never thought he would ever get old—she didn’t seem the type to develop a keen appreciation of head scarves to hide eventual hair loss, and who would learn the lesson of never traveling without an emergency box of hair color. ‘’Hey, Pearl—‘’ She closed her phone and excitedly remarked, ‘’So I just texted my friend and she said there’s this swanky new joint in town, some new Tiki bar that just opened up! Wanna go?’’ ‘’You’re not the legal drinking age,’’ he pointed out. ‘’I’ll get in trouble if—‘’ ‘’I won’t tell if you won’t,’’ she shrugged. She grabbed him by the hand and they walked towards the direction of the bar. ‘’So, SpongeBob, you were going to ask me something?’’ ‘’Um, yeah. I just…see…it’s complicated…’’ he stopped in his tracks, and when she tried to pull him, he wouldn’t budge. ‘’Who died?’’ she asked. ‘’My hair.’’ ‘’Your hair?’’ ‘’I found a grey hair this morning.’’ She raised an eyebrow at him. ‘’Rough. Hey, aren’t you only 25?’’ ‘’Yeah.’’ She approached him and, with a mischievous grin, she lightly poked his chest. ‘’Oh c’mon, you’re SpongeBob, you’re, like, supposed to be the happiest dude in Bikini Bottom! Do you think one little grey hair is gonna get him down?’’ SpongeBob looked at her, trying to smile, but it pained him to do so. ‘’I’m not always as happy as everyone thinks. I was like you yesterday. So full of life. Now I know how Squidward feels. Someday, it’s all over.’’ ‘’Nothing lasts forever,’’ Pearl said. ‘’If it did, they’d make permanent lipstick that didn’t fade throughout the day, am I right? But you don’t see me crying about it. That’s what the powder room’s for.’’ ‘’Yeah, I guess you’re right.’’ ‘’Let me tell you a story.’’ He sighed. ‘’I think I’ve heard enough today.’’ ‘’No, just listen. See, when I was a little girl I used to love playing with my grandma’s hair. It was pure white, like snow. I thought it was so pretty. I asked her, ‘Grandma, when I’m your age, will I have long flowing white hair someday?’ I wanted to know how the world saw her and how she saw herself. I also asked why she decided to stop coloring her hair and was shocked to hear that she never colored in the first place. That generally leads to mental calculations about how many schools could have been built with what people spend in pursuit of avoiding grey hair. The moral of the story is, SpongeBob, my grandma wasn’t ashamed of aging. Once she started going grey, that was it. She just let it happen. I always wanted to be like her. And even though I’m wearing make-up now, I know someday I’ll think it’s silly. All I know is, when I’m old, I’m gonna have white hair, and rock it like there’s no tomorrow. Who cares what people think? In my opinion, I think it’s childishly stupid that my dad doesn’t let his hair grey naturally. I think he looks better grey, the handsomest man in this little town.’’ She playfully nudged his shoulder when she finished. He listened to her story, and realized she was right. It’s going to happen someday. You can’t avoid it forever. Might as well throw caution to the wind, and whatever happens, happens. He smiled. He couldn’t believe he was taking advice from a 16-year-old girl, but she had a profound wisdom beneath all that typical adolescence. ‘’You know what, Pearl? You’re right.’’ ‘’Amen, lil’ brother!’’ she laughed, and held up a hand for a high-five. He returned the gesture and said, ‘’Amen, lil’ sister.’’                                                                                Fin

[dont-doubt-dopple]

Rookie - BasicallyiDo407

Note: The number below is not real. I made it up. Please don’t try anything.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

It was empty and quiet. The quaint little coffee shop he worked at was still open, but barely anyone came in after 8 despite being open until 9. Finals week would get some more business during these hours but those were the kids who didn’t want to hang out in Starbucks because it was too crowded and couldn’t hang out in the library because there was no wifi. Either way, it was still quiet.

Marcel hated the quiet. He was loud, social and salty, something his regulars would say had him at the advantage over his brand name competitors. That’s why he was thankful when the twenty-something that walked in, indicated by the little ringing of the bell above the door. He had on a black sweat jacket, hood up, with his hands in his pocket of his blue jeans.

“Can I help you?” Marcel asked, taking in the kid’s features. He definitely looked young, with brown hair and a slight beard going.

“Yeah. Can I have, um, everything in the register?” He asked calmly, and Marcel almost took it as a joke. He turned his back on the customer, pretending to study the menu. “Looking. Looking.” He said in a mocking tone. “Nope. Everything in the register is not on the men…” He trailed off as the man had now pulled out a gun and was pointing it at Marcel’s forehead. “Uh, you do realize there are cameras, right?”

“God, what do you think I am? Fucking stupid?” The man shot back, in a voice that Marcel found very familiar. He began to squint his eyes, trying to figure out where he knew it. “I’m not going to hurt you. Just give me the money and I’ll leave.” Marcel was silent, still staring at him puzzlingly. The man sighed, turned, and shot the camera in the top corner of the ceiling by the door. The barista jumped at the loud noise in his ears.

“Little to the left.” Marcel commented, trying to use his cockiness as a defense mechanism. “Also, where do I recognize your voice?”

“Nowhere.” The kid replied unconfidently. He dropped the gun to his waistline, but didn’t let go of it, as a blush spread to his cheeks.

“Your Jedi mind tricks do not work on me.” Marcel echoed.

“God damn it!” The man laughed as recognition dawned over Marcel. “I am such a noob at this villain thing.”

“Well, it wouldn’t be so bad if you didn’t suck at Calculus so much.” The lighthearted demeanor that was showing off the other man dropped instantly, and Marcel soon found his uniform in his grip. Their faces were inches from each other as the kid scowled at him.

“How the fuck do you know me?” He asked bluntly.

“One, I really don’t.” Marcel explained. “I just recognized your voice from my Calculus class. You curse so much I have a remix of it on my laptop from all my recordings.” He laughed a little at the thought. The man let go of Marcel’s shirt, backing away toward the booth directly behind him. He slid into the seat and, to Marcel, looked like he was ready to collapse. Marcel hopped the counter and slid in across from him.

“You okay?”

“Obviously not.” The guy whined. “I’m broke. Textbooks and tutors and tuition and rent and the fact that I can’t find a job and my roommate just left because I couldn’t pay and …”

“Hey.” Marcel interrupted, sliding a written on napkin his way. “Three things. First, my name. Hi. Second, my number. In case your cute little ass needs a free smartass who is also somewhat smart to consult. Third, a website. Thrift books offers books for extremely cheap. My friend who showed me the sight got like $65 worth of books for a third of the cost. And yes, it has textbooks.”

The man stared at the napkin for a while before pocketing it. “Thanks.” A pause. “I’m still taking all the money in the register, though.”

“Help yourself.” Marcel gestured. “Not like I’m going to stop you. Plus, the only evidence that this happened is you pointing a gun at my head.” The kid smiled. So did Marcel, but also because he always kept half the profits in the safe in the break room. He waited until the guy left before taking what they had left from the day to put in the register. He was surprised when he found a note waiting for him where the twenties go.

Thanks for the easy score for the noob. Maybe one day I’ll take your sassy ass one day. -Scotty 407-5542

[bookshopwitch]

Answers to Questions For LGBT Ladies #LGBTask

Questions For LGBT Ladies #LGBTask

Here are some random questions pertaining to LGBT Ladies. Have others ask you or simply answer them yourself.

Here are my answers!

69. Boobs or butts? Boobs. 

70. Beer or wine? Beer. 71. Do you have a favorite lesbian movie? Not particularly.  72. From 1-10, how attractive are muscular women? All women are beautiful 73. From 1-10, how attractive are women who wear glasses? See above 74. From 1-10, how attractive are women who are covered with tattoos? See above 75. From 1-10, how attractive are curvy/plus-size women? See above 76. From 1-10, how attractive are women with short hair? See above 77. From 1-10, how attractive are masculine butch women? See above 78. From 1-10, how attractive are highly intelligent women? See above 79. From 1-10, how attractive are tall women (i.e. around 6 feet or taller)? See above 80. Have you ever been on your period the same time as a girlfriend? Yes. 81. Has a girl ever dumped you for a guy? Not that I know of. 82. Do you carry a purse? Yes! 83. Do you have any LGBT relatives? I think so? 84. Have you ever pretended to be completely straight? Nah. 85. Would you ever date a trans girl? Of course.  86. How well do you think LGBT women are portrayed in television? We’re getting there. 87. Have you ever had a crush on a woman who’s much older than you? Nope. 88. Do you have any celebrity crushes? So many. 89. Do you have any opinions on LGBT people in the military? I don’t see the issue with it. 90. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes. 91. Would you ever have a threesome? If so, would a guy be included? Sure! If a guy wanted to be included, he could be. 92. Where do you think is the best place to meet a potential lover? Somewhere you’re doing something you love. 93. Is there such a thing as “good” lesbian porn? Definitely.  94. Have you ever had a one night stand? Nope. 95. How often do you wear a bra? Everyday.  96. Have you ever been part of a softball team? No. I am the least coordinated person I know. 97. If you could live your life all over again, would you still be attracted to other women? Yeah.  98. What stereotype about LGBT women do you disagree with the most? That we’re all butch and manly and ‘act like guys’.  99. What advice would you give a girl who is struggling to figure out her sexuality? Take your time! Experiment, read, watch, listen. Take your time to figure it out. You don’t have to know straight away what your sexuality is. You can come out as a lesbian and realize you’re also attracted to guys and that is okay! You can change your mind! You do what you want and like who you want. You don’t have to conform to a label if you don’t want to, and you can always change your mind.  100. What advice would you give a girl who is struggling to come out? Don’t feel like you have to make a it a big deal. You can keep it to yourself. People feel like you have to come out to, like, officially be gay, but that’s NOT TRUE! I never officially ‘came out’ to anyone, it just became a part of me, and that was that. I never sat my friends down and was like ‘guys, I like women’. That didn’t happen for me. It just became something that was a part of my life, just like I don’t sit people down when I meet them and say ‘guys, I’m a thespian.’ You don’t ‘come out’ as a christian, or a cheerleader, or a drama kid, or Australian. It’s just a part of you. So if you’re struggling to come out, just know that you do not have to come out until you are ready, and you do not have to come out at all if that’s what makes you feel comfortable.

[angstbotfic]

Fic: Ak’tephari Prophecy Ch 65

Read at AO3

January 27th

"What did you say your name was again?" the steward asked as he escorted them to their audience with the Rowan king.

They hadn't. They’d decided that their best chance was for all of the Guards to put on their uniforms and have Regina seek an audience as a noblewoman of Marna on official business. The Rowan court would surely have heard of the war with Kranna, so the idea that Marna would send a representative to request assistance wasn’t unreasonable.

“Names?” the steward prompted again as the guards began opening the door.

"Regina of Silben,” Regina said.

Emma took a deep breath, then, not able to put it off any longer, said, “Emma Swan Rowan."

"And the mages Maleficent and Merlin," Maleficent added.

Taking a deep breath to project his voice, the steward began, "I now present to your majesties Lady Regina of Silben and Emma Swan Row-" He choked and turned to stare at her as he realized what she had said.

"And the mages Maleficent and Merlin," Maleficent added. "Really, Emma, your family needs to hire better help."

Emma would have smiled if she hadn't been busy striding defiantly down the hall to stand before the king and queen on their dais. She gave only a slight bow, like Regina beside her and like she had seen her half-brother do many times, rather than the fuller obeisance that had always been required for her.

"You are not welcome here, Emma," the queen hissed as Emma straightened.

"Well, Eva," she replied, using the queen's bare first name to underscore their equality, "I don't really care what you think."

As the assembled courtiers gasped, Regina put a restraining hand on her arm, reminding her that this wasn’t just about her personal grievance.  Eva looked furious, and the soldiers stationed throughout the hall started to move toward them.

"Hold it," the king commanded, raising a hand, then turned his attention back to Emma. "What brings you here, Emma?"

"I have been to the Citadel of the Elemental Powers at Kyna," she said, throwing back her cloak to reveal the sword she wore underneath. "I have found the Sword of Mairin, as it was foretold that the true heir of Rowa would. I know who I am." Then, turning to Eva again, she finished, "I know what you did," unable to keep the hatred out of her voice.

There were gasps all around again, which Emma was getting tired of already.

"And what do you intend to do with your new knowledge, my daughter?" King Ryain asked, his voice thick with emotion.

"I’m not here to insist on being named heir. Prince Kevin knows this country's problems better than I do, and the citizens know him. I’m not even staying. All I want is for my status to be recognized.”

“Why?” Eva asked. “What good is it to you?”

“It will let me get married,” she said simply.

"Married?” Ryain was surprised. "To whom?"

"To someone who deserves a royal spouse to match her,” Emma said, looking toward Regina with what she knew was a sappy smile, but she didn’t care. Then she raised her voice to carry as she turned back to them. “I am pleased to present Her Royal Highness, Princess Regina of Marna. As it was also foretold, the houses of Rowa and Marna are to be united when the Sword of Mairin is found and given as a wedding gift."

Everyone gasped again, but now Emma didn’t mind.

“My Emma,” Ryain murmured, rising from his throne and coming down to her. “Alive and well and loved.” He was standing before her now, opening his arms, and she slipped into them without hesitation, even though he had never hugged her before in her entire life. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted,” he said quietly, just for the two of them.

Emma felt tears spring into her eyes. “My papa,” she whispered, holding him tight.

**

They had been on the road for nearly a month on top of having traveled for months before that, so when, at a private dinner with just the king and Emma’s inner circle, he offered to send them back to Silben in his navy’s flagship, which would be faster and easier and make it very clear that she was plenty royal enough for Regina, she had to take the offer.

She also accepted his hospitality for the few days it would take to prepare the ship for the journey, even though she was not at all eager to stay in Kenn very long. After dinner, she and Regina had each been escorted to their own very fine rooms. Though she’d lived in this palace until she was twelve, she had never been in this part of it at all, since it was reserved for visiting dignitaries. In fact, she had never really been anywhere this luxurious except for visiting Regina’s chambers in Silben.

And it was really a very nice place to get to stay, and she got a chance for a bath, and then the discomfort set in. She felt like she should be wearing some grand silk pajamas or something, because this plain sleeping shift was hopelessly out of place here. Then she realized she couldn’t even remember the last time she’d worn it rather than sleeping in her clothes, and what was she doing here trying to pretend she belonged?

She paced the floor for long minutes, then willed herself to stop and sat, gingerly, on the heavily brocaded bedspread.

“Get used to it, Swan.”

Emma started, then turned to see Regina, who apparently had no problem with coming into her room, and she cursed herself for having resisted her own urge to go find Regina. “Get used to what?”

“To being royal. To being in excessively ornate rooms. To having every move scrutinized and managed,” Regina said as she came closer.

“Is it too late to back out?”

“Only if you don’t mind not getting this again,” Regina answered, straddling her lap and kissing her intently.

“What happened to abdicating?” Emma teased when Regina pulled back.

“That was before we knew you could satisfy the court.” Regina kissed her again, then murmured against her lips, “And right now I want you to satisfy me.”

Emma was intensely aware of Regina’s body heat and the press of their breasts together through thin layers of cloth, and she wanted her so much, and she was leaning in to capture her lips again when she stopped cold. “We can't have sex under my father's roof!"

"Why not? You fucked my father's daughter in his castle and I think it's only fair that I return the favor," Regina purred, kissing along her jaw and neck.

“I don’t think princesses are supposed to use that kind of language,” Emma teased.

“What, ‘fuck’?” Regina asked with false innocence. “Fuck,” she enunciated into her ear. “Fuck me. Make me come.”

“Yep, definitely not appropriate for royalty,” Emma teased, but her hands were untying Regina’s silk robe and sliding it from her shoulders.

“I think you’ll find royalty are very inappropriate,” Regina said, arching her back as Emma cupped and squeezed her breasts.

“It seems pretty straight laced to me,” Emma said, leaning forward to suck a nipple.

Regina gave a slow, dirty chuckle. “Oh, but my darling you’re going to have to kneel and swear fealty to me when we get home,” and damn, she made that sound dirty, and Emma’s breath caught when she realized she was sliding off her lap and kneeling in front of her. “And really, it’s only fair that I do it for you, too.” Her hands slid up the outsides of Emma’s thighs to the hem of her shift, then paused, waiting for agreement.

This was so hot that Emma immediately forgot her objections, nodding vigorously as she got the garment off as quickly as she could. The moment she sat down again Regina gripped her thighs and pulled her hips forward to her mouth.

“Fuck,” Emma breathed, gripping Regina by the hair.

“See?” Regina teased. “Very royal.”

Then her mouth was on Emma again, her tongue easy but steady, making long strokes over Emma’s pussy from opening to clit and back again, and she was so wet already. Damn, Regina felt incredible, and soon she was lapping at her faster, almost fluttering her tongue.

Before long Emma was moaning steadily as the pleasure built, looking down at Regina with desire and awe and so much love.

“Inside me, please,” she breathed, and Regina readily gave her fingers.

When, after long minutes, Regina slid her lips around Emma’s clit and sucked, swirling her tongue in a counterpoint to her fingers working inside, Emma’s abs gave out and she flopped back on the bed. But her hips were working, down onto Regina’s fingers and up to meet her mouth, almost pulling her hair now, she was holding on so tightly.

Then she was coming, clapping her other hand over her mouth because the last thing she needed was for some guard to come running.