#fuck it ill tag all of these bitches because the tags are p dead

[1071png]

I turned the whole squad into chibis

[ne-fe-li-bata]

Aye yo CORPSE!  ...

Dead ass;

You can't convince me that Corspe was/is/does ; 

in no particular order..

• Deserve to be held ( I would smother him with my chest and hold him tighter than he has ever been held) & protected from this world

• Pyro! Mans loves🔥🔥🔥 - mostly his fav elemental  (Leo is a fire sign); “WOOO... now that’s a fire!”

•  Loves knives/weapons- has a collection (quite a nifty 1, ay thank-a-you) & even knows how to use butterfly knives/ tackle combat.

      Has a collection of weapons (brass knuckle, daggers, swords, knives,etc.)

•  Highly interested in combat/training. Most likely has training in some sort of combat. Loves any form of physical combat < UFC,MMA, Boxing, any type of martial arts>

•  Absolute proper gentlemen / clearly has the utmost charm/cunning

      I.e holds the door open & will slap yo ass on the way in, moves you away from street side when walking, pulls chairs, defends your honor, etc.

• Takes A . L . O . T  to truly capture his attention- but once you have it ..%100

•  With his person; protective/obsessives/ possessive/ sensual/ affectionate .

              < mine is mine. me no share -like absolutely not at all>

             “ You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down for ya“

• RP'er on DeviantArt/chats had his own OC. (also prob had his fav person to RP with) 

         <prob even talked to them in MSN or private chat>

•  Watched mostly nothing by anime/cartoons (nick/CN) as a kid & also mostly watched certain shows/movies as a kid well into his teens

         (could recite quotes/scenes as second nature)

•  Not a major musical theatre type of kid. But musical movies/shows was 1 of his favs- but still highly interested/ in love with theatre/musicals/preforming arts none the less.

-EYES DON’T LIE

•’staring problem’ he’d just stare at you -deep in his head (both good & bad) you’d have to bring him back to you ..”babe- eh, come *snap*back to me. What’s on your mind my love?’

•  Genuinely a really warm person- but only to certain people, but comes across cold & distance 

•  Grew up in the internet & knows the way around the 'business' & 'faceless' YouTubers/celebrities

•  His teens/ late adolescents consisted & grew up on YouTube O.G videos/ video game commentary/content;

  Cry.. <Cry was a huge part of my life & still hold a special place in my heart. Corspe just like I was most likely devastated with the shit that went down> 

Jack

Nova

Sp00n

Jontron

Smosh

Nigahiga

Shane

Jenna

Hanna Hart

Phil/Dan

KevJumba

Ray William Johnson

Pewds

Machinima

EMT

ERB

Wassabi Prod.

VlogBros, 

-etc

• Has an oral fixating (lovebites indefinitely <like dead ass ya’ll be chillan/ out & he’d attack you> & just needs something in his mouth always)

• Fidgety af, always need to be playing with something in his hands/playing with 

•  Is a goddamn absolute certified freak--but also super soft bean boi. (can't stress how this boi needs& deserves to be protected)

• Constant hand/arm touching/stroking for comfort.

• Daddy{papi} / Mommy(mamá) . Master . Sir  kink - hard control kinks- but highly sub. 

hard(er) kinks

• Lovebites = M I N E 

obvs fishnets/ crossbody straps/ lingerie

lace

collars/ restraints 

toys

     •RP

degrading/praising

sub/dom switch

showing/proving your actually/completely & utterly his/ he’s completely & utterly yours..

& of course you know it's go time when 1 - if not both of you has kitty ears on. 

over stim 

*no touchy/ don’t let me go*

“look at what I’ve done to you”

“you kno only I can do this to you”

“look how greedy you are for me”

“look at the mess you’ve made because of me’ 

���cum on my face”/’cum for me”

“who do you belong to” / “you belong to me & only me”

100% all black clothing 🖤

*that once we get home / I swear I’ll deal with you right here, right now* look 

primal play  “when you run from me, it only makes me want you more” “you know imma find you kitten”

pet names (beast< i feel like you call this man “ (a) beast”-he about to lose his absolute fucking mind> , “oh Corpse/______, you absolute fuckin’ beast- my God” kitten, babyboy/girl, baby(e), bae, my love, lover boy, my darling, slut, needy little bitch, cum slut, lil’ whore, master/mistress, king/queen”

“only yours” “just ______” “ no-one but _____” “only____” “only you” 

‘I’ll keep you so no one can find you or bother us’

“that’s my girl” / “that's my boy”

“would you like to/ I saw----”

“look at me” “don’t look away from me”

GROWLING / talking through clenched jaw

not breaking eye contact 

     • his name & ‘Corspe’ being cried out 

“cry out my name for me baby. know who you belong to”

video/sexing/teasing 

breeding kink

voyeurism

abrasions

aftercare af 

impact play 

24/7

edging 

accidental stim; “holy fuck- I’m so turned on by you rn”

rope bondage 

begging 

worships 

•  But also soft kinks; 

MEME SENDING

head on lap/chest

naps

playing with hair 

matching outfits

voice messages 

always touching (somehow)

no space between bodies

picture taking together/ just of you

body rubs, head rubs

massages

competition 

play fighting

“this reminded me of you”

“I remember you said” “I know you...”

“you know I love you”

“I can tell by your eyes”

“ugh- I swear to shit imma marry you 1 day”

“nothing really made sense until you”

“do you wanna watch”/ “WAIT!? YOU HAVEN’T SEEN?!”

“damn- you really do love/like me, eh?”/ “you are SO fucking mine”

“that’s my girl”/ “that's my boy”

pet names/ “MY_______” “YOURS”

long stares

dates- stay at home dates are his fav, as your attention/focus is just on him 

choker/necklace/ jewelry (that 1 of you bought- NOT LIKE HIGH PRICE TAG, but like seen it & was like ‘omg ____ would so wear...’) 

cuddles with movies /anime watching time

just being in the same room/on call- even in silence 

* emojis*- just some sort of communication 

inside jokes/ puns/dark humor

seeing 1 another with kids

future kink (family, travel, etc)

playing video games 

dancing/ singing with 1 another

Sitting on the ground, wrapped around his leg when he streams/edits

Nerf gun fights 

Watching him record (tracks/editing/streaming)

•  Loves- loves surprises <like dead ass would set up a surprise date/ do a scavenger hunt for you/ surprise you with your fav thing>

•  Loyalty is everything & his best attribute (& pride) 

• The music that he make is from the soul/heart. He pit everything has has/what he has left into his art

•  No one has seen the real him - a side he truly hides

•  He's both book & street smart

           Taught himself through YouTube/Reedit/online 

•  Fav actors; Jim Carrey/Robbin Williams/Will Smith (?)

•  Man’s straight up dangerous. we only know like a  quarter of him & people fall at his feet. ( h e . i s . n o t . t o . b e. F U C K E D . w i t h) 

•  Hates silence 

         ( constantly needs background noise)  <also can't fight me on this babyboi cuddles pillows/blankets for night-night time>

•  People don't understand the pain he is in every day, unless they have fibromyalgia/GERD/high functioning (sever social)anxiety/depression/ agoraphobia 

(my mom suffers with fibro/depression <I myself have GERD/ sever social amenity/depression>& I wouldn't wish those illness on my worse enemy...)

• Over all pain has changed him

• Has dealt with self harm since a young age- most likely 9- 11 yrs old. (as someone else who’s suffered with SH for years- when you become so numb it 1 of the only ways to feel some sort of anything/makes you feel like you’re alive)

• Addiction (drugs/people/things)

•  Wrote & read a lot of fanfiction

        (most likely his main source of reading in pre/teenage years)

• Is a hopeless romantic but has his guard way up

•  Obsessed with Japan / Studio Ghibli

• Doesn't think he deserves any of the recognition/ fame he's gotten--but definitely deserves it all as he's creative & inspirational as fuck. Also he’s worked so hard for it & had put himself through so much

    Contrary is highly appreciative of those that are supporting

• Doesn't do it for the fame but for the fact he know how he's gotten people through hard time (just like those on the internet got him through)

• Was a scene boy that vibe’d of myspace/ listens to a lot of  ‘scene’ pop-punk, emo/ scene band shit (band?)

•  Also is/was a major tumblr boy

•  Would be a phenomenal father

•   His love language: physical touch & words of affirmation 

• He would flinch at touch movement but would melt in your hands

• Face caresses would trigger anxiety/ tears.. but once he’s calmed/comfortable would burry his face in your touch. neck & chest

•  Still caught up in daydreams

•  A part of him is still never satisfied even if it’s exactly to the pin point detail of what he wanted  

•  Has at least 40/50(ish) songs he hasn't released

•  Mommy & daddy issues (not saying his home life was really- really  fucked - but non the less- it certainly wasn't the best).. Also wants to protect/provide for his family (especially his sister) & was prob closer to a grandparent/aunt/uncle)

•  Definitely prefers to be by himself, as every time people come around, it's like;‘"this is why I'm okay (ish)with being alone" 

• lost an important person to him due to O.D/ suicided..

•  Also most likely to of heard his "friends" shit talking 'Corpse' or something correlated with him

•  His pride is his biggest sin (next to lust)

•  Has single-handedly defined a huge part of 2020 ( in the best way)

•  Went through a fighting stage where he was ready to fuck anyone up on a drop of a dime (middle/'high school'/street fights- possibly even under ground)

          but also a stage where he cut absolutely everyone off for a solid couple years

•  Most likely obsessed with 1 of 3 creatures; lion, dragon, wolf ( 5ish- possibly bear/fox)

•  Dinosaur obsessed 

• Internet & video games raised him

• He raised himself

Quick to adapt to surroundings/situations.

•  Mighty Morphin Power Rangers was his shit ( I CAN SO SEE YOUNG BABYBOI RUNNIN AROUND THE HOUSE IN A POWER RANGER SUIT) "IT'S MORPHIN' TIME MOTHER FUCKER"

              fav ranger- green 

•  Has up until next year planned out & is working on the next 'version of corpse' ( PR, vids, music, etc)

•  Also med/high key this man was most likely in a physcward (more than once) ..

•  This man deserves more than he'll ever give himself recognition for & knows in the back of his mind--people will hate just to hate

•  Rose is his fav flower  🌹

•⛈️🌧️. >🌞.  Loves storms/ rain & prefers them over sunny days

•  Loves the moon/stars/space (?) < observatorium dates = fuckin mint>

• Pixar/Disney lover

        <still believes- deep down in happy ever after ... but thorough an twisted yet not so twisted- simple(??), dedicated process(?)>

•  Fav Pixar movie.. either Wall.E or Toy Story 

    •  Pixar > Disney

         •  But fav Disney movie- Beauty & the Beast (?)

• Most likely had a Jackass obsession's (doing dumb hoodshit)

•  Fall is his fav season (?)

•  Horror/ thriller movies/shows over everything (obvs)

•   Had an escape place in town where he’d hide from the world- that absolutely no one knew about. 

•  Was really into graffiti/ street art 

•  Arested as a youth - but charges dropped- or was still considered a mirror (either fighting/ possession/ trespassing/ vandalisms)

• Arrested on heavier charges (also same as above - but not tried as an minor)

•  also-ALSO ... thou he feels like he owes people something. HE DOESN’T OWE ANYTHING TO A N Y O N E . His mental & well being is the most important.

•  On a side & major note. You can't deny that this man single handily is a (in my opinion) the 2nd biggest “C” that define 2020.

•  Was most likely really into skateboarding/BMX

• Late night drives/impulsive road trips & playlist/ sitting at lookouts, just in silence & touching 1 another. 

• Clingy af-.. but could also be distance & cold af- especially on high pain days. stormy brain days. PTSD episodes.

• Slow dancing/ dancing around the apartments. with or without music.

• Rocking out with each other- screaming lyrics in each other face.

• “hey baby- how you feelin” 

         *grunting* *shuffles over & lays on chest* 

• Huge comforts for 1 another;

      Especially when going out, being wrapped around him for comfort & reassurance. Even being at home alone together- panic attacks are shit, PTSD episodes are even more shit. helping each other with bathing & caring

     When he’d be hiding from his reflection- or stares just a little too long. Going up behind him & worship him (vise versa)

• He’d be your biggest hypeman/ #1 fan (vise versa)

• Would LOVE you wearing his clothes/jewelry & would love to wear you things.

Was probably engaged to his ex (that's why he gets offt when people mention "corpse wife"

There'd be days where he'd be so distance & cold.. & tell you to leave but wouldn't let you.

He'd sit in the bathroom with you when you shower/have a bath.

As he doesn't sleep most night. He'd be up just watching you sleep & caressing you.

Lil spoon > big spoon.

<more to be added>

I love you... genuinely . turly.  madly. deeply.

[getoffthesoapbox]

[VKM Spec] Ridiculing VKM 18

As expected, Hino’s obsession with dreary funerals continues.

Obligatory disclaimer for my anti-fans: This post is zeki criticism, vkm criticism, hino criticism, and anti ky. Please blacklist those tags accordingly.

Scanlations can be found in the usual places.

The Good

Gotta give credit where credit is due!

Hallelujah! Kaien Cross bites the dust (literally) at last! Praise the heavens! At last, one of the cancers of this story has been eradicated! Screw you, Hino, for trying to make him more than oozing pustule he was. (And LOL @ that guy facepalming in front of his coffin, who the hell is that anyway, I want his autograph? XD)

Kaien’s melodramatic “woe is me, what a shitty way to die” and then his pathetic “oh a girl is finally crying for me after all this time!” dramatics were hilarious. Like...how sad of a person are you that you’re relieved any girl is crying for you at your death?

Ren is a girl. I repeat: Ren is a girl. At last we can put to bed all that nonsense.

Ren is null!Zero’s and Yuuki’s child. I repeat: Ren is null!Zero’s and Yuuki’s child. Farewell, fantasies of test tube babies and clones and in vitro. Not only that, Ren was clearly conceived in the usual fashion of conceptions, not via any Zeusian head-births or immaculate conceptions. 

Null!Zero lived to raise Ren. I repeat: null!Zero lived to raise Ren. At least the “null!Zero can’t have anything Kaname doesn’t get” rule no longer applies. 

Kaname is too much of a chicken to look at the photo album of a man who worshipped him. Methinks nu!Kaname has received some intimations about how much of a shithead he was in the past. Makes me think better of him.

Kaname is actually interested in someone from the past who isn’t Yuuki and what that person might think of him. Also that he actually genuinely seems interested in finding out how much Ai suffered from Kaien’s loss and is trying to empathize for the first time in his life. 

Ai finally showed up for a funeral. ‘Bout time, since she didn’t even bother to show up for Yori’s. 

The little girl the Prince was living with is not the mayor’s daughter, thank god. 

The mad scientist got a stylish cameo! 

And that’s about it!

The Bad

Perhaps I should rename this section to “The Stupid”? I’ll have to consider it.

Hino forgetting her own lore and that pureblood blood can cure wounds and illnesses--see Shizuka with Ichiru. Ai was right next to Kaien--she didn’t need to offer him vamprism, she could have just fed him her blood. For him to die in such a stupid fashion, despite how great it is, is positively mind boggling given the established vampire lore in this story. 

Hino retroactively trying to act like Kaien meant something to these characters when he’d routinely fucked them over in order to rescue his precious Kaname. 

Yuuki boo-hooing over Kaien dying when she didn’t bother to spend any time with him during the 100 years of life she had to enjoy his company.

Kaname’s unexplained “curse” on Touma that came out of the clear blue nowhere with no foreshadowing or set up in order to “justify” Touma’s insane behavior. Hino’s just phoning it in at this point. 

Touma is the Prince, snooze. Boring and obvious and a narrative dud. 

The “Mayor” is useless and already under arrest, and why the hell does anyone even still care about him?

Kaien’s funeral was a joke and got more panels than Yori’s, which is ridiculous.

The timeline is fucked. Ai was acting last chapter like a bunch of time had passed between the mad scientist kidnapping and the Ren pregnancy being discovered, yet the little girl is still the same age. Either she’s a vampire or Hino has no clue what the timeline is.

Instead of talking about how excited they are to meet Ren, Yuuki spends most of her pregnancy screentime rehashing bullshit about Ai’s childhood with Ai. We already spent 6 chapters on Ai’s childhood Hino, you might want to give us some time to enjoy Ren for once yeah? 

Yuuki whining about Kaien and Yori not being there is a complete joke. Bitch, please, you waiting seventy years to get in bed with your side piece is the reason they’re not there with you now. You have no right to complain because this is your own fault. You squandered the time you had with your precious people.

Null!Zero’s apparently barely there as a father figure since Hino didn’t care to show him in more than one panel with his child. 

The Ugly

All of the ugly this chapter was packed in at the end, appropriately.

Hino just completely excised null!Zero from the family. In the montage of raising Ai images, Zero doesn’t even get a panel with Ai or Yuuki--he’s separated in his own itty bitty panel as if he’s still an outsider in his own family.

No sex scene, no waiting for the baby scene, no naming Ren scene for Zeki. That’s a pretty low blow to make us wait all that time and then skip over everything, Hino. Fuck you, too.

Zero’s and Ai’s little argument at the end would be cute if we’d actually gotten some fucking answers as to why Zeki didn’t get together for an entire human lifetime, but no, Hino doesn’t care to tell us why, we can just make the answer up for ourselves!

Whether Hino intends to “make good” on this implication or not (and my bet, given how gross Ai and Ren act in the future, is that she’ll make good on it), it is utterly reprehensible that Hino made Ai have a sexual attraction to a fucking innocent baby. We all know the VK/VKM world has established that vampiric hunger the way Ai experiences it in VKM 18 is sexual in nature. Hino trying to act like it’s cute there at the end is not ever acceptable. It was not even remotely acceptable when Kaname did it, and it’s not at all acceptable now just because the girls are sisters. Just like slapping Aidou, child grooming is not appropriate or laudable behavior. Ai having a sexual interest in her baby sister is not okay.

And last, but certainly not least, null!Zero and Yuuki approving Ai’s interactions with Ren without having any concerns is deeply disturbing to me. Hino trying to play this off as a cute and normal happy family is even more troubling. I’m very concerned about how this all is going to play out in the future. 

General Aside

@vampireknightmeta brought up a few ways in which Hino might be able to salvage the story as it is now in our private conversations, but I will leave any public speculation on future positive developments to her should she choose to share them with the fandom at large. 

At this point in time, I myself have no interest in speculating about potential positive narrative developments because Hino has shown time and time again that she’s happy to sink lower than even the lowest bar I set for her. I’d rather be happily surprised by Hino saving this story on her own and just laugh at her bumbling in the meantime rather than investing my heart into trying to uncover the “secrets” of the story of a repugnant and morally bankrupt failure of a writer. From now on, I’ll only be speculating about worst case scenarios, the worst I can possibly imagine, and maybe Hino will do even worse than that just to prove to me that there’s no low she’s above sinking to. 

As such, if you’re looking for positive theorizing, you won’t find it here until I see some significant improvement in this sorry excuse for a story. Please look elsewhere for your hit of “positivity.” 

Crackpot Theory Corner

Can’t end this debacle without some crackpot theories. Here’s what could happen that could make this story sink even lower than it has already sunk!

Null!Zero might actually get suspicious of Ai’s “attentions” to Ren, but he’s going to die before he can stop anything. =P Null!Zero does still seem to have some fatherly instincts.

Null!Zero is up next for being killed, probably next volume. We’ll probably have a funeral or two every volume, because that’s totally what everyone’s reading for!

In the chapter where null!Zero dies, we’ll have Ren dying in the future while protecting Ai or Kaname! Gotta kill off dem pesky Kiryuus!

When Yuuki meant “short time after Zero” when he died in VKM 4, what she meant to say was “null!Zero died 20 years after I screwed him and I put myself to bed for 900 more.” Hence, “short time.” Time’s relative, doncha know.

After Ren dies, Kaname and Ai will mourn, then resurrect Yuuki to ease their sorrow and the Kurans will live happily ever after. 

Yuuki never intended to marry Zero, and that’s why she let Yori die before getting together with him officially so Yori wouldn’t have to know Yuuki loved Kaname and not Zero (why, only Hino knows). The wedding Yori and Aidou were waiting for will happen after they’re long dead with Kaname and Yuuki instead. 

The baby from Yuuki’s dream is her second kid with Kaname, a boy who she’ll name Zero. Ai will imprint on her new brother and the horror will start all over again with a new generation, this time blessedly free of Kiryuus, who are all dead.

Oh, and the Vampire King will never be found, because who cares. ;)

Until next time, see you later!

[lesbianskylor]

*slides you five bucks* holly,,,,holly,,,pls give me greenlove headcanons,,,,the world Must Know

greenlove hcs

so . greenlove is this super poly ship a lot of my friends and i came up with. we basically all made an oc and plopped them into a poly ship with lloyd uwu

so, ill explain the ocs to you first!

micah (owner - tumblr: witchlightsands ao3: whichlights) he/him bi flower boy. he a flower boy baby!!!! hes a flirty mess of a bi and is constantly supportive of lloyd. also he loves puns. bastard nerd

rhian (owner - tumblr: cynicalmiles ao3 - cynicalmiles) nb she/her ace pan. she has the elemental power of magic! she also has two dads (nyx and max) and a bro named jayden (owner - tumblr: lightning-jay23 ao3: lightning_jay23). good at makeup. the shortest lol. she’s in the exact middle of the bastard/nerd/dumbass/valid scale

myan (owner - tumblr: qibliwinter/lesbianskylor (HEHEHEHE ME) ao3: hollyus) he/they pan. depending on the au, he’s a vet student or a volunteer or owner of a shelter! he has a dog named scritch and he’s pretty much, besides micah, the most normal one of the greenlove gang. valid nerd

bo (owner - ao3: Nagasha) she/her grayace demiro. she’s a coolass serpentine (hypnobrai)!! she grew up in a group of serpentine girls and she met lloyd at a p young age. probably the most down to earth one of the group. at the very top of valid nerd

ver (owner - tumblr: terezi-kin) he/they demiboy polysexual aro. ABSOLUTE meme trash. ASKJNDLSDFDK jokes are like, his defining personality trait at this point honestly. tall bitch but not the tallest. chaotic good dumbass bastard

celestien (owner - tumblr: iwillheckingfightyou/anywaylloydgarmadonistrans ao3: i_will_fight_you) nb they/them and arospec multisexual. tol long haired redhead, punches transphobes. they have two moms

also: here are more specific ship names

micah/lloyd - brightshipping

rhian/lloyd - emeraldshipping

rhian/micah/lloyd - sparkleshipping

myan/micah - m&mshipping

thats,, kind of all we have so far rip

OKAY - now we get into the actual hcs (which im SORRY miles youve probably heard them all in the discord nsdjkfldk)

rhian and myan are the shortest of the group, celestien and ver are the tallest

SO, rhian and myan totally ride on their shoulders and have a nerf gun fight

(in the circumstance his family is an owner of a shelter) myan and micah totally meet before meeting the others because myan has a shelter that’s like across the street from micah’s flower shop

at some point micah adopts a cat named skittles from the shelter and he cries when he first sees her bc shes so cute.

she’s around 2 years old and she’s a brown tabby with a white muzzle, paws, tip of tail, chest and stomach

she’s affectionate af

lloyd used to be single as fuck before greenlove and everybody made fun of him, so when he gets SIX WHOLE DATEMATES he laughs in their face

after the whole harumi fiasco the ninja DEFINITELY keep their eye on his datemates.

kai, to all of them: hey? hey! you hurt lloyd i hurt you

nya: (pulls out her samurai x dual swords) ill let you figure it out!

cole: ok yall seem chill but if you ever treat lloyd badly…youll regret the day you were born. anyways who likes video games here

jay: you better watch out…you better watch out…yOU BETTER WATCH OUT… YOU BETTER WATCH

zane: (gives off sense of intense protecting of lloyd)

anyways, it is eventually proven that the greenlove squad are all also extremely protective of lloyd (esp after all the shit he went through) and would never hurt him intentionally so all the ninja become cool with them

greenlove is the lloyd protection squad.

all of the greenlove squad minus lloyd: i am the lloyd guardian. guardian of the lloyd

the ninja: morro quivers before them!

greenlove gang minus greenie to morro: FUCK OFF

ver constantly tortures micah with memes and jokes

though,,, they do bond over puns

ver: you wanna go?

lloyd: yea

ver: on a date with me?

ver: OH YOU DO

ver: OHHHH

lloyd: YOU ACT LIKE I FELL FOR A CUNNING PRANK IM YOUR BOYFRIEND YOU EGG

lloyd: turtles turn up

myan: hell yeah go turtles

lloyd: dead on beaches

myan: oh dear god

greenlove: (just doing shit)

ver: wait

ver: so bo’s a snake person yeah

bo: …well, the term is serpentine, but..yeah??

micah: yea- oh god ver no

ver: we’re all scalies

bo: oh, um? i dont quite get what you mean, but his name is skales! not sure how he would react to you calling him, uh, skalie?

lloyd: (wheeze)

myan has, lots of grandchildren and children

(hint: they’re all animals)

myan, when a cat gives birth: hey guys look! its our 34th grandchild :)

rhian’s basically besties with nya

whenever she goes out on a date with lloyd, nya does her makeup, and kai does lloyd’s makeup (since nya and kai are makeup masters obvs)

any love song that’s sweet and nice: plays

all of the greenlove members simultaneously: HOLY SHIT ITS OUR SONG-

celestien: happy one year babe!

ver: 

ver: im 18

celestien is ur friendly neighborhood anarchist :)

they have a discord with the ninja & co (aka adding on skylor and pixal) named “0 days since our last nonsense”

ver: @everybody

kai: i will kick your ass if you tag everybody again

ver: @here

kai: bitch

ver: (feigning innocence) but you didn’t say dont tag here :) :)

kai: fucker

nobody ever. ever. EVER gives ver mod/admin permissions. it happened once and theyll never make the same mistake again

my hc shortest from tallest is rhian, myan, bo, lloyd, micah, ver, celestien

celestien when they’re around tiny animals: (tearing up) you are so small? i could crush you? you’re just? so tiny?

micah dramatically during christmas: ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS , IS YOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUU

bo: micah i know you’ve been telling us this again and again for the like past 6 hours?

ver: you know what’s my music taste? youtube channel historyteachers.

ver, yelling at the top of their lungs: this plague is bubonic! B-U-B-O-N-I-C

ver: im factkin with the lady thats always singing in those videos

he listens to it so much that all his s/os can recite renaissance man to you on instant if you asked them to

myan: love is dead. you leave me as i lay here sick and festering. you have betrayed me

lloyd: woah whats up?

myan: my dog stole my fuckign popcorn

their older siblings/parents trade embarrassing stories about them and its just terrible for them but really amusing for their older siblings/parents

kai (lloyd), nyx, max (rhians dads), the reols parents (micah), myans parents, vers parents, the snake girl gang (bo), and celestiens moms: (cackling evilly)

bo: so, i was doing this and my friend-

micah: wait

bo: what

micah: oh my god myan and rhian rhyme,

rhian (before they started dating): writes her name on something

myan: holy SHIT THATS HOW YOU SPELL IT?

celestien nickname cel and rhian nickname rhi cause its cute

thATS MY HCS FOR GREENLOVE WHICH I LOVE!!!!!!!! sorry for taking for fucking ever

also if yall want to request hcs then Sure but from now on with hcs being put onto my inbox ill take them as suggestions- meaning, ill delete them if i dont feel like doing them (if you ask off anon ill post privately that i dont want to do it, if on anon ill just delete it lol)

[sunriseknox]

⭐︎🔠Alphabet Tag🔠⭐︎

I was tagged by @pikachengogh thank you so much lovely 😘

Rules: Answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 people you would like to know better.

(A)ge: 18, I’m 19 in less than a month ooh

(B)irthplace: England

(C)urrent time: 15:09

(D)rink you had last: Very British of me, but tea

(E)asiest person to talk to: Erm my sister? Also some of my friends

(F)avorite song: Very emo of me but Welcome To The Black Parade by MCR

(G)rossest memory: Either the other day when I threw up in the hospital or when I saw a dead baba sheep in Wales while on the hike for DofE

(H)ogwarts house: I used to be Ravenclaw but then Pottermore decided I’m a Slytherin so now I’m a very proud Slytherin

(I)n love with: Kim Namjoon man

(J)ealous of people: Sometimes, jealous of people who are happy, who are healthy and are talented. I never get overly jealous though, I’m happy for them.

(K)illed someone: Yeah several times...on sims

(L)ove at first sight or walk by again: Walk by again, and again, and again and never talk to them because I'm scared

(M)iddle name: Jade

(N)umber of siblings: 1 

(O)ne wish: To be in a place where I’m doing something I enjoy and I’m content with my life and surrounded by people who make me feel happy and loved

(P)lace you want to live: Somewhere that allows me to be who I want to be and do what I want to do

(Q)uestions you’re asked the most: “Are you a lesbian?” Because I’ve never had a boyfriend...lol soz I’m ugly, but jokes on them really bc I'm bi, I'm ugly to both

(R)easons to smile: Food, sleep, people you love and Kim Namjoons dimples

(S)ong you last sang: Destroyer by Monsta X bc I’m listening to the playlist i made of their setlist bc I want to cry

(T)ime you woke up: Around 11

(U)nderwear color: Black lol

(V)acation destination: Well I wanna visit Seoul, but there are several places I want to go

(W)orst habit: I honestly have no idea

(X)-rays: On my teeth? When the dentist needed an x-ray of my teeth for braces

(Y)our favourite food: Fuck man...this is difficult, there's too many

**Extra Questions**

Ultimate Bias: Kim Namjoon ^-^

Ultimate Bias Wrecker: Technically Baekhyun if you put all my biases in a list

Favourite Kpop Song: There’s about 1000, but I’m narrowing it down to Dope by bts and Power by exo

First Kpop Song: I am the best by 2NE1 back in 2012

Favourite Kpop Album: Power of Music by exo or The most beautiful moment in life by bts

Favourite Kpop Ship: I’m a weak bitch for chanbaek and always will be soz

Hard or Soft Stan: It depends, I’m a bit of both

Favourite Kpop Company: All of them are trash but if we’re talking about the company whose artists I like, then it’s sm

Backstory of How I Got Into Kpop: Basically, ya girl saw a bunch of cute guys on her dash and one boy in particular caught her eye because who the fuck is called Suga? So basically me and my sister did a google and where like wtf, how is that a rapper, it's literally a marshmallow. Then a few weeks went on and I felt wild and decided to check out their Spotify and played the first song...little me thought that MAMA was by all of bts (you should have seen my face when i found out it was just Hobi omg) and it was lit. Then I saw this person header gif, one of the people on my dash that was reblogging a lot of the bts, and i was like omg that's cute i want it. I found out it was the war of hormone dance practice, found them cute, found the song lit, watched the music video and was like ooft noice. Then we challenged ourselves to learn all their names and then we fell in love in under a month but said NO more kpop, just bts. Here I am over a year later with 5000 groups. Woo!!

I’m tagging; @choginahfam @xmochimin @shimmie-shimmie-kokobop @dimpled-rapper-stan @raplegendwonho & idk who else so anyone that wants to do this can feel free to do so!

[chickenfetus]

ALL MY EGG (and for the four names: jae, killer kang, minhyuk (whichever one), and santa

deadass i did the 100 questions ask meme for this ask and almost posted it rip

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

theres literally nothing i dont even know what to say ???? 

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

not 2 be delusional but i would give up my world to hug changkyun

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

glaceon is UP THERE idk why honestly but the sinnoh games were my first and i just??? i was really into ice and snow and shit u know so glaceon... thakn u

another pkmn ill always have is lucario ????? its just so cool?????

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

hopefully forgiveness and like???? acknowledging mistakes and learning from those u know jst positive stuff and like?? water. god i love water

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

hm okay i think this one was from last night or the night b4??? and like???? idk???? i dont even know how 2 start tbh?

so im like hanging over at this two kid’s im a kid 2 i think place and idk we just talk and shit??? idk whomst the boys were tho

and then we get to a scene where its like??? at a train station???? and i go to the washroom to shit or smth idk thankfully i didnt shit myself irl

then i have to get onto the train which isnt even a train its like a carousel with seats??? and its like on a train track boys this is 2 much and i forgot to get ready my train card thing so the guy (who i was p sure was evil) waited for me to remove it so i got onto the transportation device lmao

and then once im seated i remember i forgot my jacket so i make like hand movements 2 the creep and hes runnig 2 me with my jakcet but the ride’s way too fast so i yell and say ill come back for it even tho im p sure i wasnt going 2

after that i wke up wild

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

i dont have a best friend and all of my friends have their own unique qualities if i went into a rant abt them rn this will b so long

😘 talk about your crush or partner

[minhyuk voice] theres none

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

ya bc im petty but it really depends on the person

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

my personality (the good parts)

my values

my taste in friends (my Big Friends are either geminis or scorpios good)

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

the dark and bitch isnt gonna turn off her night light any time soon

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

seeing my favourite happy, listening to the music i like 

💙 what annoys you about some people?

i jjust went into a full out rant abt this on the other reply so ill be quiet now

😤 do you get angry easily?

yeahhhhh 

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

my faves tbh

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

bad people , gone.

everybody only sends love and happy things on anon

i just want everyone 2 b nice & friendly wars of any sort dont exist and no one wants anybody dead

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

if u sent jae’s name earlier id have trouble so im glad

kiss: tihis is so fucking embarrassing wtf minhyku (mx) but only on the cheek basically everywhere except the lips or anyplace weird

befriend: brian :-0

kill: jae goodbye loser

marry: sanha we can yell every time we gotta turn the lights off

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

tokyo bc its NICE

☕️ talk about your ideal day

cant read

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

i suddenly thought of the word ambivore which made me think of the word vore i wanna delete im a both? mayb idk

💧 when was the last time you cried?

nov 3 bc my heart hurts whenever i see ppl being a bad friend

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

oh worm

all alone - day6

with you - astro

dramarama - mx (even though it isnt out yet lmao)

run - bts (the superior bts song)

hellevator - / (i was rly gonna make this mixed languages but rip)

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

to fly bc im basic

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

dont do that

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

nobody in general????????? 

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

intelligence i have 2 live somehow what if my money gets stolen

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

my humor

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

i (barely) know chinese despite having 2 take it all my life legends only

i know english but im bad at that 2 and its my first language once again legends only

i wanna learn japanese and korean 

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

the cow from voltron 

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

weve already discussed this

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

oh w-0rm ok so im a regular anon on this persons blog and i wanted to send an ask but never got arnd doing it so im gonna send her one. soon/

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

let me live my life as a furry and cat

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

are u ready 4 me to b the meanest person yet bc i sure am lets fucking go

so theres this girl. and i know her (unfortunately) and ive known her since like 4 years ago and back then she was already pretty shit tbh

she cried bc she had to sit in between the “weird” and “dirty” girls in our class and she headass cried in front of them and everyone just bc she didnt like the arrangement?? shes called the “dirty” girl disgusting before and has made fun of her in front of everybody its just bad :-/

now. fast forward 3 years and in addition to still being disrespectful and rude, she now vocalizes her weird fantasies for her “oppas”??? some examples: 

“when i go watch __ perform im gonna climb onto stage and then my mother and my future husband will fight for me” and she calls those kpop idols weird shit and basically sexualizes them/???? she says the weirdest fucking shit on her ig story and tags them??????? 

another thing. she went to korea nd took a picture of a complete stranger and posted it on her public ig and called him her “oppa” and said that they had a “fun day together” despite the guy not knowing her at all???? she posted the pic of him??? i still dont get it tbh 

she wasnt even being ironic at all??? she calls herself & classmates “autistic” whenever she/others do smth dumb or mess up and its just sososososo fucking wrong

being one of the people to see how shes basically grown from bad to worse is something i dont fucking enjoy and i jsut want to leave my class already lmao 

ok but there are times where i do appreciate her because sometimes the class will be rly quiet and the teacher is basically talking 2 themselves but she’ll always respond w/o fail so thats great but its only bc she talks so damn much 

i just got a flashback to when she “jokingly” said she wanted to be a trainee for the rest of her life how do i just. god

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

we’ve once again already discussed this

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

i wanted to be various things honestly?? ranging from an astronaut to a vet to an editor to an animator to other stuff i get influenced pretty easily so if i watch smth and i think its cool ill want 2 be that i guess?? ive been trying 2 get rid of that habit so now i have no clue what i wanna be

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

sweets and chocolate cake

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

drinking water and staying hydrated

making my friends laugh is great 2

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

acne LMAO 

😪 what are you sick of?

the usual

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

i love scouting on sif and bandori so yeah 

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

lets not 

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

to a certain extent

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

use my phone???? send nice anons and comment on art/fics 

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

none

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

my tolerance for ppl’s shit is so low

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

my ocs

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

i dont have a dream hence myself

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

infpt i dont rmb shit but yeah

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

falen i dont rmb what u sent

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

i dont follow any :-o zendaya has had my heart ever since shake it off tho

🐴 opinion on day6?

ur rly gonna do this 2m e?

all alone just started playng this is terrible lets get it

so day6. a band i only found out about in late june (thank u boxy) and before this i only ever listened to bts and mx bc my friends stan them so i thought i was gonna expect boys dancing, the usual. 

i clicked i smile and i lost my fucking shit as soon as i saw the instruments because prior to day6 i was a big 5sos fan so this was rly resonating to me tbh and i was just !!! so fukcng excited??? i never intended to even get into day6 honestly??? but after witnessing how good they are and watching about all of the available mvs at that point i was completely in awe so i caved a created a stan twitter for them.

now, this isnt even the most of it. after becoming a fan i realized how much more these 5 boys are. they compose (if im not wrong) and brian writes lyrics for the songs each month because of their everyday6 project and again, im wow-ed because??? the amount of dedication???? they went from releasing 2 title tracks in 2 years to releasing 12 title tracks and 12 bside tracks in a single year. they havent released the december song yet but haviing to work on 2 or more songs in 4 weeks is fucking amazing if you ask me. 

theyre really talented and theyre just so versatile (am i using that word correctly) and each month their songs sound different. this project has given them the opportunity to try new things and you can hear the steady improvement in each of their vocals (dowoonie not so much since he barely gets lines, but we all know hes working hard) and if you listen to their debut song - kongchu and compare it to the version they released along with sunrise it just???? the drumming has even changed from the original version nd its so noticeable that whenever i hear kongchu from 2015 i know its the old ver

to add to those, they do vlives every week and although those vlives are always scheduled it still makes my day seeing them and watching them do the usual. 

one thing im upset about is that how they barely promote themselves, they rarely get on variety shows (the most is individual schedules) and we, as mydays never really get to know the boys so its harder to fall for them as a whole. i dont know if its jyp or day6′s decision but if this is how they want to be known for - their music only, then so be it. we still have jae’s presence on youtube, music access and asc. thats the most we can get and it makes it difficult for us to learn about the rest but thats okay.

another thing. their concerts are something i always look forward to (even though my interest has died down a bit;) their concerts are just so fun to listen to?? there’ll always be mydays who stream the concert so everyone else can listen to them play and they sound so good live it drives me crazy. mydays are always so hyped and whenever mydays sing along it just gives me goosebumps??? bc theyre so???? good????? 

tldr; day6 deserve more, following wise and promotions wise because they work so hard and once this project ends i hope they’ll manage to rest but still remain as a presence that will be known instead of returning to jyp’s dungeon.

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

there are days where i am more emotional than usual 

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

this is tiring

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

i sleep and boy it really helps

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

rest

🌍 which country do you live in?

singapore

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

lame funny swag

🐵 which quotes changed you?

“rocky swag” - park minhyuk, 2017

💭 do you keep a diary?

nope

💫 who inspires you?

brian kang 

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

yes bc i love losing sleep

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

terrible

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

i watched spiderman homecoming and i have no idea why i didnt see the plot twist coming but its GOOD watch it

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

theres none lads

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?

all my internet buddies but sometimes i dont want to bc im kinda....gross

[ao3feed-whamilton]

20 Hamilton Angst Drabbles

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2x7xaTz

by Godlic_Bread

i got bored okay get fucked

    uhm in order breaking up, cheating congratulations breaking up breaking up for the sake of america one liners and angery john suicide/the Duel ((two separate things but with the same prompt)) aLEXANDERRRRRRRRRRR, canon era but really short and through eliza's eyes cheating, breaking up abuse, arguing angry john, arguing, proposal #1 the apocalypse, murder arguing chronic illness s t o r i e s thunderstorms murder, domestic abuse breaking up, implied suicide breaking up

Words: 1939, Chapters: 11/21, Language: English

Fandoms: Hamilton - Miranda

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M

Characters: oh boy - Character, Alexander Hamilton, John Laurens, Elizabeth Schuyler-Hamilton, Philip Hamilton, Angelica Hamilton, Angelica Sxhuyler-Church, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, Aaron Burr, George Washington, James Reynolds, Maria Lewis-Reynolds, Gilbert du Mortier Marquis de Lafayette, james monroe is mentioned once, alexander's second, the doctor/medic, Others(TM), "Allie", "lexi", Hercules Mulligan, The Prince of the South(TM), The Princess of the East(TM), Henry Laurens like oncwe, once - Character, a hufflepuff scarf, james madison's parents, a man who gets punched, "Jacky", Alexander The Wanderer(TM)

Relationships: oh boy - Relationship, Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson, Alexander Hamilton/Angelica Schuyler-Church, Alexander Hamilton/Elizabeth Schuyler-Hamilton, Alexander Hamilton/George Washington, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Alexander Hamilton/Gilbert du Mortier Marquis de Lafayette, Alexander Hamilton/Gilbert du Mortier Marquis de Lafayette/John Laurens - implied, Aaron Burr & Alexander Hamilton, Alexander Hamilton/Aaron Burr, Thomas Jefferson/James Madison, Thomas Jefferson/Maria Reynolds, Maria Reynolds/Elizabeth Schuyler-Hamilton, im probably missing some

Additional Tags: you will regret reading these tags i promise you, im high on pain medicine as i write them, so tw, Suicide, Murder, implied suicide, implied disappearances, D E A T H, Crying, there are a disappointing lack of chairs in this story, and surprisingly not a single panic attack, wait fuck nvm, anyways lets do this in order of the drabble, Not-Boyfriends, "loves just a chemical reaction" and youre still fucking leaving him because of james, Responsiveness, ALEXANDER HAMILTON THE FUCKING HOUSEWIFE, d i s a p p e a r, t h e r e y n o l d s p a m p h l e t, Congratulations, "fuck james monroe", once again de a th, angry liza, Modern times, Canon Times, WHOMST, not the word whomst, Sadly, Laptops, bad relationships, you dfont locve, Love, dammit, weird endings on some not on others i wrote this in three days oh fucking k, "my boy", a m e r i c a, breaking up, for the sake of, a mer i ca, a lot of crying, its mainly just alex tho, get rekt, weird format, story telling, not story telling, One Liners, whomst the fuck know, s, another panic attack jfc, neither of them go into detail tho dw, oh he slit his wrists forgot that lmao, cuTTING IS IN THIS BACKK AWAY, The Duel, an inappropiate use of "Talk less smile more:, joking as you die, Wine, secret time skips, the fact that alexander hamilton hated his daughters, blatant favoritism, he just though theyd all be hoes cause theyd look like eliza and act like himself, no joke, "a whore", james is mad okay, Arguments, Abuse, a lot of domestic absue, i lied theres actually just two cases of it, joke with a bitchy boyfriend get hit, a l l i e, l e x i, t o m m y, j a c k y, no baby girl though i succeed, A Proposal, Apocalypse, a not-hufflepuff scarf, black and yellow black an yellow black and, having to murder your lover, cuddling their dead body, it sounds bad but its just sad, aaron stfu, thomas stfu, john stfu, three fucking times, Diabetes, Heart Disease, College, Foster Care, insulin, Rich - Freeform, sTORY TELLING BUT I CANT FUCKING DO ITALICS, i write about john, Anthony Ramos - Freeform, BOTH, and pippa, i love them, and so does alex, flashbacks in the middle of a story ajfbsdkfbaa, gay pride parades, the interent, Internet, a dood gets smacked, price john of the south, princess eliza of the east, alexander the goddamn wanderer, hercules mulligan the tailor, henry laurens the punkass bitch king of the south, letters in 2009, letters in medieval times, pi p is smol boy, happy endings to a life you didnt get, Two Proposals, OHO THREE PROPOSALS IN ONE FIC, two weeks and our fireplace, two months and his castle, w a r, Copy Machines, MIA - Freeform, being drafted, ONE LAST N I G H T, elizabeth the wanderer must not know, he doesnt have a last name so now its "elizabeth the wanderer" or "alexander the prince", but then he fucks off so, thomas jefferson and alexander hamilton, thomas and alex, hamilton and jefferson, three different people, set schedules, "no its only 3:15 were not friends again back tf off or imma slit your throat", "its four pm can i have a hug now" "yeah", Thunderstorms, d a r l i n ', Police Brutality, in my home, GET SHOT BOY, he dies like 15/20 times, john ya bitch, #FuckJohn2k17, reynolds pmaphlety, but elixa, wsas iwht maria, alex is bitter but like "go be fucking happy i need to sort myself out", wheew those tages, Tags, Damnit, some of these are short as hell and others and long as fuck

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2x7xaTz

[ao3feed-lams]

20 Hamilton Angst Drabbles

read it on AO3 at http://ift.tt/2x7xaTz

by Godlic_Bread

i got bored okay get fucked

    uhm in order breaking up, cheating congratulations breaking up breaking up for the sake of america one liners and angery john suicide/the Duel ((two separate things but with the same prompt)) aLEXANDERRRRRRRRRRR, canon era but really short and through eliza's eyes cheating, breaking up abuse, arguing angry john, arguing, proposal #1 the apocalypse, murder arguing chronic illness s t o r i e s thunderstorms murder, domestic abuse breaking up, implied suicide breaking up

Words: , Chapters: 1/21, Language: English

Fandoms: Hamilton - Miranda

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M

Characters: oh boy - Character, Alexander Hamilton, John Laurens, Elizabeth Schuyler-Hamilton, Philip Hamilton, Angelica Hamilton, Angelica Sxhuyler-Church, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, Aaron Burr, George Washington, James Reynolds, Maria Lewis-Reynolds, Gilbert du Mortier Marquis de Lafayette, james monroe is mentioned once, alexander's second, the doctor/medic, Others(TM), "Allie", "lexi", Hercules Mulligan, The Prince of the South(TM), The Princess of the East(TM), Henry Laurens like oncwe, once - Character, a hufflepuff scarf, james madison's parents, a man who gets punched, "Jacky", Alexander The Wanderer(TM)

Relationships: oh boy - Relationship, Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson, Alexander Hamilton/Angelica Schuyler-Church, Alexander Hamilton/Elizabeth Schuyler-Hamilton, Alexander Hamilton/George Washington, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Alexander Hamilton/Gilbert du Mortier Marquis de Lafayette, Alexander Hamilton/Gilbert du Mortier Marquis de Lafayette/John Laurens - implied, Aaron Burr & Alexander Hamilton, Alexander Hamilton/Aaron Burr, Thomas Jefferson/James Madison, Thomas Jefferson/Maria Reynolds, Maria Reynolds/Elizabeth Schuyler-Hamilton, im probably missing some

Additional Tags: you will regret reading these tags i promise you, im high on pain medicine as i write them, so tw, Suicide, Murder, implied suicide, implied disappearances, D E A T H, Crying, there are a disappointing lack of chairs in this story, and surprisingly not a single panic attack, wait fuck nvm, anyways lets do this in order of the drabble, Not-Boyfriends, "loves just a chemical reaction" and youre still fucking leaving him because of james, Responsiveness, ALEXANDER HAMILTON THE FUCKING HOUSEWIFE, d i s a p p e a r, t h e r e y n o l d s p a m p h l e t, Congratulations, "fuck james monroe", once again de a th, angry liza, Modern times, Canon Times, WHOMST, not the word whomst, Sadly, Laptops, bad relationships, you dfont locve, Love, dammit, weird endings on some not on others i wrote this in three days oh fucking k, "my boy", a m e r i c a, breaking up, for the sake of, a mer i ca, a lot of crying, its mainly just alex tho, get rekt, weird format, story telling, not story telling, One Liners, whomst the fuck know, s, another panic attack jfc, neither of them go into detail tho dw, oh he slit his wrists forgot that lmao, cuTTING IS IN THIS BACKK AWAY, The Duel, an inappropiate use of "Talk less smile more:, joking as you die, Wine, secret time skips, the fact that alexander hamilton hated his daughters, blatant favoritism, he just though theyd all be hoes cause theyd look like eliza and act like himself, no joke, "a whore", james is mad okay, Arguments, Abuse, a lot of domestic absue, i lied theres actually just two cases of it, joke with a bitchy boyfriend get hit, a l l i e, l e x i, t o m m y, j a c k y, no baby girl though i succeed, A Proposal, Apocalypse, a not-hufflepuff scarf, black and yellow black an yellow black and, having to murder your lover, cuddling their dead body, it sounds bad but its just sad, aaron stfu, thomas stfu, john stfu, three fucking times, Diabetes, Heart Disease, College, Foster Care, insulin, Rich - Freeform, sTORY TELLING BUT I CANT FUCKING DO ITALICS, i write about john, Anthony Ramos - Freeform, BOTH, and pippa, i love them, and so does alex, flashbacks in the middle of a story ajfbsdkfbaa, gay pride parades, the interent, Internet, a dood gets smacked, price john of the south, princess eliza of the east, alexander the goddamn wanderer, hercules mulligan the tailor, henry laurens the punkass bitch king of the south, letters in 2009, letters in medieval times, pi p is smol boy, happy endings to a life you didnt get, Two Proposals, OHO THREE PROPOSALS IN ONE FIC, two weeks and our fireplace, two months and his castle, w a r, Copy Machines, MIA - Freeform, being drafted, ONE LAST N I G H T, elizabeth the wanderer must not know, he doesnt have a last name so now its "elizabeth the wanderer" or "alexander the prince", but then he fucks off so, thomas jefferson and alexander hamilton, thomas and alex, hamilton and jefferson, three different people, set schedules, "no its only 3:15 were not friends again back tf off or imma slit your throat", "its four pm can i have a hug now" "yeah", Thunderstorms, d a r l i n ', Police Brutality, in my home, GET SHOT BOY, he dies like 15/20 times, john ya bitch, #FuckJohn2k17, reynolds pmaphlety, but elixa, wsas iwht maria, alex is bitter but like "go be fucking happy i need to sort myself out", wheew those tages, Tags, Damnit, some of these are short as hell and others and long as fuck

read it on AO3 at http://ift.tt/2x7xaTz

[jo-the-schmo]

Breaking... Ch.12

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

A/N: This chapter took way too long because I wasn’t planning for it but it’s here now so let’s go y’all! I’ll get back to the main plot next chapter I swear!

Wordcount: 3609

Warnings: Blood, slut shaming, taunting, cursing

Tags!!: @iamnotthrowingawaymyshit @renae-writes @deltablue202 @literally-melonkitty @meunicorn @favouritefighting-frenchman @demi-godamit @gum-and-chips @sweaterkitty-fluff @pinkyiger7 @littlemissshortcakes@msageofenlightenment @unprofessional-inhumanbeing @fandom-panda-221@hummusandchips @spoopy-piineapple @ashwolfcub @myself-and-the-madman @sweet-fate @superwholockbooknerd526 @frozengal2013 @lmaodedhaha @itsmikayblr @sarmar29 @arya-durin-77 @phantastic-fandoms @hoshihime98 If anyone else would like to be tagged just shoot me an ask saying so! ^-^

Breaking Trust

You felt the impact send waves through your skull, they reverberated through your brain. Bouncing off the bone. You were falling past the ground, it seemed like the ground faded from under you. Varying shades of grey were around you and sticking out like jagged stone; but as it faded out to white you felt the familiar wrapping of silk around your body. Just as you saw the end of the gleaming fabric, one of the pieces wrapped itself around your leg and dangled you above your point of exit. You stared numbly into the light, you couldn’t see anything beyond it but you could hear something faint. “Miss, I’m going to need you to step back and leave the room! The doctor needs room to work.” It was a woman, she sounded older and frustrated. “No! Please, I need to be here with her! Y/N! Please, wake up!” Another woman said, she seemed much younger than the first and her ton was frantic. Her voice was familiar. “Damn it all! She’s drifting off! Miss L/N, do not fall back asleep!” An older male voice called. You tried to fight the silk and reach out towards the voices but it was no use. The silk raised you up as you struggled and flung you the way you fell. You flew through the air, past the white, past the rocks and into the light you came from.

             Your eyes shot open as you gasped for air. You were laying on some kind of couch and you felt the warmth and light from a fire nearby.

“Well, at least you’re finally up.” A female voice said curtly. You looked around to see a woman standing by a door. Her clothes were similar to yours, only her bodice was orange and had longer sleeves. “Honestly, you’re lucky to be alive at all. If Mr. Burr had not seen your horse, you would certainly be dead.” Mr. Burr? Her voice was cold, her hair, skin and eyes all matched that tone. Icy.

“Where am I?” You asked as your frantically sat up. She chuckled at your panic.

“I shall inform Mr. Burr of your current status. Wait here.” She ordered you and walked out of the room. What the hell happened? The last thing I remember… You touched the left side of your face and winced. You felt some sort of bandage along your left temple and although you couldn’t see it, you could feel how bruised your face was. There were footsteps coming toward the door so you stood up, you still felt a bit dizzy but you quickly steady yourself. In walked in a familiar man, dark skin, wearing a deep purple and a pleasant smile.

“I see that you are awake. What was your name? Titania, was it?” He asked.

“M-Mr. Burr, sir! Um, that’s what I am called yes?” Am I lying? He nodded and sensed your confusion about the situation.

“I heard a commotion outside my door at sun rise and saw a horse with gear standing on my lawn. I recognized it as belonging to Mr. Hamilton and decided I should send it back to his estate but it was acting rather strange.  It kept moving away from me whenever I approached and, although it was probably foolish for to think it, it seemed to want to show me something. Low and behold you were not even a twenty meters from my home. I brought you back and called for a doctor, you had a terrible head wound but he said that you would wake up soon. Luckily he was correct, the sun has just only begun to set.” He explained. That’s crazy! Seriously universe? Why do you have to be such a bitch to me?!

“I don’t know what to say… Thank you, Mr. Burr! You really saved my life! I don’t know how I can thank you enough let alone repay you for this!”

“No need for thanks, I couldn’t just leave you out to die now could I? And in terms of repayment, I shall talk with Alexander about that.” Talk with Alex…Fuck… He’s not supposed to know about what happened! And hell I’ve already caused them enough trouble, why do I have to be like this?! He’s going to have to pay money for my idiocy! Ugh! He could read your disappointment as if you were actually saying it to him.

“Is something the matter?” He asked. Fuck.

“No, no, no, no, no! That’s perfectly fine! It’s just… I don’t exactly like having other people pay my debts but I suppose I’ll have to just live with it.” This is going to be bad when they get back… He closed his eyes like he was thinking about something. You couldn’t read his expression at all, which was something that Alex frequently complained about him. He was elusive.

“I have a proposition for you then, Miss Titania.” What?

“A proposition?” You asked.

“My wife you see, has fallen quite ill and we are a bit short of staff. I am aware that the Hamiltons are up town for the winter. Perhaps, while they are away, you could lend your services to help around here.” He offered.

“Seriously? Thank you so much, Mr. Burr! I just really don’t want to cause any problems for Alex and I’ll work really hard to make sure my debt is paid-“ He shushed you.

“Talk less.” Wait, what? “I will take that as a yes, however there are some rules you must follow.”

“Oh, um, of course.”

“Things are done very differently around here than at Alexander’s. You are at the Burr estate now and you must behave as such. Based on how you have worked at the Hamilton’s I can tell that your personality is rather… loud. That will not be the case while you are with me. Talk less, smile more. That is how you shall operate. You will be expected to hold a demeanor of calm and collectiveness at all times. I will not tolerate anything less, is that clear?” You were surprised by how serious he was while speaking to you, you were actually taken aback. I suppose not everything could be as accepting as it is with them… Even with the terms being so out of character for you, you knew you had to try. So you agreed to the conditions.

             That night you were given back your horse and set out for the estate. You felt slightly uncomfortable with having to ride again after what happened but it was your only option. You were going to be a maid for the Burr’s and would have to leave at dawn every morning to get there on time for work. You got back home, led the horse back to the stables and went inside. You hastily prepared a fire to ward off the chill in your bones. You weren’t sure why but you didn’t have a good feeling about this.

…

Dear Starlight,

             It already feels as though I have been away from you a century, has it truly only been a month and a half since I have seen you? I miss you, I miss our conversations, I miss your lectures, I miss your voice, your spirit, your passion. I miss it all, everything down to the way you hold a teacup as though it could fall apart in your hands. It is very quiet uptown; I do not think I like the quiet though. It feels empty and, dare I say, a bit lonely without you by my side to share your thoughts on this world we live in. Everyone else misses you as well. Father and Mother have been telling Grandfather all about you, he seems to find you quite charming. Angelica says that studying is becoming a bore without you there to give her alternative methods of remembering her work. Even Alexander, James and John seem quite withdrawn; specifically, they long for one of your fairytales. I have no idea what they are talking about but it has something to do with a fruit that can show you everything you desire? Or was it about gaining knowledge from it? It sounds fascinating, then again, everything about you intrigues me. It is surprising to think that it has not even been an entire year since our first meeting, I feel as though I have known you my entire life. Although since we are on a similar subject, I have some rather exciting news. My birthday is next week! I shall be turning sixteen, soon enough I will no longer be considered a boy but instead a young man. However, I only care about that title when it comes to you. Your wit and luminosity may suggest you consider me an equal. Yet, does that mean your heart sees me as such? I wish not to be considered a child in thine eyes, a boy who becomes as red as a blooming rose over his frivolous romanticized fantasies. I do not think the word ‘different’ quite fits how I see you, perhaps extraordinary would be a better term? You are not like any of the other maidens I have encountered; you are bold, utterly silly and stubborn in every wondrous way. You are the brightest star is the sky, the North Star. Others gaze upon you and wonder where you shall lead them, while I can only hope that you will take pity on a soul deprived of your love, a soul left completely helpless. I see your eyes and smile in the night sky, Lord knows that I have prayed. I have prayed that you will leave your celestial heaven and keep beside me. Is it not embarrassing? Even on paper I cannot articulate what I am feeling without becoming muddled. Perhaps it is best if I wait to express myself when I meet you at the end of February. Until then ma cherié, please do not forget to write. I know you must be busy as to not have the time to write but that shall not stop my own writing tendencies, your words bring me more joy than you could possibly imagine.

Sincerely yours,

P. Ham, your sunshine.

Your mind and your heart were telling you two distinctly different things by the time you finished reading Philip’s letter. Why does everything have to be so complicated?! You held your head in your hands, trying to decide what to do next. It’s been two weeks since you started to work for Aaron Burr and to say you hated it would an understatement. You’ve never felt so restricted in your entire life, it was huge reality check for you. Not everything could be all feminism and modern like it was with Alexander. Proper etiquette hangs over your head constantly, you never expected Burr to be as uptight as he is. It isn’t all bad though, Mrs. Burr is actually quite lovely. She tells you many stories of her younger days when she’s well enough to speak cohesively. Honestly, the best times were when she was awake, it always gave you the chance to take a breather from Aaron. He wants to be by her side as often as time allows, he acts like a completely different person around her. He’s happy. That doesn’t last too long though, and Sarah doesn’t help much either. Sarah was the maid that was ‘by your side’ when you awoke at the Burr estate. She’s kind of, maybe, the worst person. She frequently taunts you for the position you’re in and tries to accuse you because of your relationship with the Hamilton’s. “I know what you did, who knew a man would actually defend his whore.” When you asked her what she was trying to imply she said. “I wonder how the son reacted to learn that his whore was also his father’s. I believe I would pay to see such an encounter!” No matter how many times you try to convince her of the truth, she just shuts you down and claims that a prostitute will do anything to hide her sins. First of all, I’ll do what I damn well please with my body! Second of all, I DID NOT have an affair with Alexander! Seriously, I thought this whole situation was over! You didn’t have time to read the letter before you had to leave for work, so you took it with you. You heard footsteps from beyond the door you were behind and quickly hid the letter in your bodice. You stood up from where you were sitting at the dining room table, taking your spare cloth off of your apron and using it to wipe the table. You know, to make it seem like you were working even though there was nothing to clean yet. Sarah, cold looking as ever, came bursting in.

“Good morning, Miss Home Wrecker. I will be taking care of Lady Burr today, which means you will be in charge of everything else for the day. I suggest you be on your best behavior, or else you shall receive quite a tongue lashing from Mr. Burr… Although you probably want that!” She snorted as she left you alone to fester in your anger. Fuck you too, Sarah! Okay Y/N, calm down. It’s only for another five or so weeks. I can do this! Just put on your best smile and suck it up, buttercup! You took a deep breath and left to take your normal rounds. Things were going relatively smoothly, at least until mid-day approached.

             You heard a carriage drawing into the ‘driveway’ as you started to call it. Ugh, a visitor… Normally, you wouldn’t mind having to greet a visitor, but you haven’t had to deal with any of Burr’s guest yet. You weren’t excited. Nevertheless, you did what you were taught, you walked over to the door and smiled sweetly. You heard footsteps and you opened the door, closing your eyes to block out the brightness from the light hitting the snow outside.

“Welcome to the Burr estate! What may I do for you today?” You asked in a bubbly voice.

“Well I’ll be damned.” Oh no. Please let it be a hallucination! Please let it be a hallucination! You slowly opened your eyes and to no surprise the first thing you see is a bright color. Magenta. The whole image started to fade in, Thomas Jefferson, in all his horridness, was standing in front of you. On top of that, you had to greet him with a smile and give him hospitality. I’d rather shut the door in his face… You bit your tongue and moved out of the way for him so that he could enter. “Well, well, well, Miss Titania! I would never guess I would find you here. What brings you? I thought Hamilton was away for the winter?” He gave you a mischievous grin as you shut the door behind him.

“Simply working, nothing worthy of noting.” You said through gritted teeth. He chuckled, but before he could retort, Burr’s voice echoed from the nearby staircase.

“Hello Thomas, forgive me but my wife is awake at the moment so I must focus on her. Miss Taylor, please make him some tea.” Can I pour the tea on him?! You nodded to the demand, you couldn’t exactly say no. You turned and began to walk towards the dining room.

“Take a seat, I’ll be back with your tea shortly.” You lashed, obviously annoyed. He smiled, but he didn’t sit down.

“Actually, I would much rather follow you. I hate not having company and personally, I’d say you make some pretty fine company.” He raised his eyebrows up slightly. This bitch… You shot him a thin smile and turned to walk into the kitchen, rolling your eyes as he trailed behind you. You began the tea preparations, hoping that he would at least give you the pleasure of not speaking. You were not granted that pleasure.

“How have you been Miss Titania?” He asked, your back turned to him.

“Fine.” You said insipidly. You began to heat up the water and turned to find Jefferson a few feet away from you.

“That’s a rather noxious injury you’ve got there.” He pointed and traced out in the air the slight crescent shape from the stitching on your left temple. You covered it up with your hand. “May I ask how that happened?” He asked with curiosity in his brown eyes, you spoke as you walked past him to grab the tea box.

“It seems that I am no equestrian, Mr. Jefferson.” You said with dun. He clicked his tongue.

“I see.” After that, things went silent for a moment. You got out the teapot and made the tea, now all that was left was for you to set up the tray and cups, you assumed Burr would join him shortly. You set the tray down, picked out he saucers, the cream and sugar as well. You grabbed one of the tea cups with both hands, careful not to drop it and as you picked up the second one, Thomas spoke up.

“How has Philip been recently.”

Crack, shatter, puncture, warm.

             Some glass fragments from the delicate cup began to trickle from your seizing hands, the pieces digging into your palms. You whipped your head around, shock was etched into his features and it only grew deeper when he saw the burning hatred on your own.

“Don’t ever! You do not have the right to ask me about him after what you did! You made him hate me! Even if it was only for a day, it killed me! You do not deserve the grace of hearing his effulgent name, let alone say it!” You spat, you had had enough. You couldn’t hold back anymore, you were tumultuous. You felt like crying, screaming, and being sick all at the same time. He doesn’t deserve to know how wonderful that family is! He almost ruined them! He threw his hands up to show peace.

“Whoa, perhaps it would be best to calm down.” He said in an oddly soothing voice. You wanted to yell, don’t tell me to calm down! But you realized something.

The cup

You opened your hands and the rest of the glass fell to the floor, there were tiny cuts on your hands and blood prickled out from the ends but that’s not what you cared about. Fuck! You crouched down onto the ground and frantically began to pick up the pieces, gathering them up in your apron cloth to hold them.

“No, no, no, no! Burr’s going to kill me!” You spoke breathlessly and then a voice you really didn’t want to hear.

“Why am I going to kill you?” Burr asked dryly. He looked down at what you were doing, his expression blank. You hated that look, it made you even more fearful than most things. The idea that he could be thinking of anything and you wouldn’t know terrified you enough as it was. But now it was directed at you. You were about to apologize, try to convince him it was an accident and that you were sorry but you were interrupted.

“I dropped my cup, you know me Burr, my senses are never quite right when I’m around a pretty lady! I’ll pay for it, don’t worry about it!” Jefferson laughed. What? What’s he doing? Burr sighed and shook his head, rubbing his temples, which he commonly did when he was stressed.

“Seriously, Thomas? You can’t stop your womanizing for even a second? Well… It’s not the good china so I suppose no harm was done. I came in here to tell you that we shall head to the cabinet in a moment, I just have to get properly dressed first. It’ll only be a moment. Taylor, please clean up this mess.” He said as he turned and left the two of you alone once more. You quickly gathered up the rest of the glass and stood up, making sure it wouldn’t fall out of the sides of your apron, the edges you holding lightly between your fingers. You turned to look at Jefferson.

“Why…? Why did you cover for me?” You were dumbfounded, he took a deep breath.

“I know how Burr can be, it was honestly just better to say that I did it. Besides, I’m not a scoundrel all the time you know?” You disposed of the glass as he stepped closer to you. He was only a foot away from you by the time you noticed, he held out his hand.

“May I see your hands?” He asked calmly. You reluctantly showed him your hands, he held one in each of his and inspected them closely. “Hm, you should be alright. Clean them up, use a cloth to stop the bleeding and if anyone asks, tell them you slipped on the ice outside.” He instructed, you nodded along, still a bit confused.

“Why would you help me? Don’t you hate me or what I stand for or something?” He sighed at your question.

“Listen, I will admit that my accusations were under a false pretense, that I apologize for. I wasn’t asking you about Philip to be antagonizing, I was genuinely curious. I talked to James a while back and he told me about what you said. ‘I don’t care about my name’ All you care about is everyone else’s wellbeing. You could say it put things into perspective for me. Why would a whore care about her ‘lover’ and not have it be about money? Why would Hamilton write an entire pamphlet to protect the dignity of one mistress but incriminate the other? It doesn’t make sense, unless I’m wrong and that you truly had nothing to do with it. It was presumptuous of me, and for that I am very sorry. When it comes to Philip however, I am rather close to Angelica and we have discussed the two of you the recently. So do not worry, I get it.” He let go of your hands and gave you a soft smile, walking past you towards the exit into the dining room. “I should meet with Burr, perhaps I shall meet with you again in the future, Titania? It would be a real shame to not see your pretty face again. Au revoir, mademoiselle.” He waved goodbye to you with that same grin on his face. What just happened? Is he not an asshole 24/7? You were left to stew in your questions for a bit, but you eventually followed the directions he gave you, pushing the questions to the back of your mind. Which then made new questions form.

What am I going to do when they get back?

[bythepowerof4]

clea and nick and a very confusing two day argument @nickatnightwalker

[during daisy’s 420 dash shenanigans]

bythepowerof4nnnno dont encourage her this is bad

nickatnightwalkerim encouraging her to be distracted byh being queen of something clea

bythepowerof4noooooo i dont think its gonna work like that shell just try harder

or maybe not i dontt fucking know i dont know anything

nickatnightwalkersame my guy but it was a chance i was willing to take on behalf of all of us

bythepowerof4ok sure great fingers crossed whatEVER

we are all sooo super grateful

nickatnightwalkeroh this is worse

bythepowerof4that wasnnt even a goov fucking burn

bythepowerof4that was so LAME and she thinks she s so SMART and i hate her

and i dont wanna talk about it actually how are you

nickatnightwalkeri am

dying

bythepowerof4Great

nickatnightwalkeri would have gray hair by now if it were possible for me to have melanin

bythepowerof4youre not helping though!!!!! uoure engaging!!!!!

noo ok not my business

this is meant to be chill i want to be chill

nickatnightwalkerjus wait till the bowl goes around again

nickatnightwalkeri was trying to distract her you kmnow thats the only way to stop the daisymobile

bythepowerof4thats not fair you know thats not fair

nickatnightwalkerwhat waiting for the bowl or the daisymobile

bythepowerof4Both duh

nickatnightwalkeryes i know, and, also unfair that this is happening on 420 day or our lord and savior snoop

bythepowerof4its not fair that we have to deal with this whether it happens or not wee could just like walk away from the weird passive aggressive blogging ccrcle right now if we so chose

yeah????

because this isnt FUN nickolas it is not

nickatnightwalkeri personally am having a loads of fun messing with ines

you have to dea l with everything when it happens so this is just a thign

bythepowerof4oh cool great youre just as bad fantastic news

nickatnightwalkerok i did no t and have not publicly read anybody out yet to date

i only do that privatley and only when it suits me

bythepowerof4:/

://////

bythepowerof4look at u ur being a dick right niw!!!!

nickatnightwalkeroh what to ines

im screwing with her

shes trying to fight me

bythepowerof4because this is soo the best way to deal with that sort of situation

nickatnightwalkerits just funny idk why shes getting all snaked out of shape

bythepowerof4"hot" you dick????

Youre both being gross now stop it!!!

nickatnightwalkera joke

a JOKE

shes a lesiabn

also just like

no

bythepowerof4its not FUNNY nick

neither of you are funny its weird and annoying and embarrassing

nickatnightwalkershe wants ot punch me bc i sias d bite me

i dondt really feel like imobligagated to take her seriously anymore

besides shes a shit so no t only is it funny to watch her blow a gasket over the same google image snatched pic i also like pissing her off

bythepowerof4u arent obligated to fight w her either but ur doing that,, a lot

idk

Im not making sense

nickatnightwalkerthis is brely a fight

[nothing until nick sends the photo]

bythepowerof4im not mad at you and im not mad at her so can you not tag team revenge for once in your fucking life

we're having an almost genuine conversation for once without you interjecting to make fun of me and pretend play matchmaker for shits and giggles so can you please, please cut it out

nickatnightwalkerim not making fun of you

nickatnightwalkerif i was making fun of you itd be a lot meaner

you should be flattered i even considereed encourragign you to go for daisy

[next day]

bythepowerof4hey!! how are you feeling haha, is ur hair still going grey

bythepowerof4im not trying to act like nothing is bad btw i just wanted to start it off nice sorry :/

nickatnightwalkermy hair's moved past being gray and now it's black, so im inadvertently copying misha again

bythepowerof4lmao this is some goth power play shit love it

nickatnightwalkerwhite haired twink is out 2008 gerard way is in

bythepowerof4as it should be!! do you need eyeliner like i don't have any but it would really make the Look

nickatnightwalkerwhy would i need that when i have dry erase markers to just apply liberally to my face

bythepowerof4so resourceful?? pinterest diy that shit

bythepowerof4we can raid the art rooms, get some glue while we're at it and cut a big chunk out of your hair gel budget

nickatnightwalkerdanger with that is potentially overgluing and making it fragile and breakable like glass

bythepowerof4glass bones and paper skin and glass hair also. got it

i mean youre pretty protective of it already i doubt anyone would notice the difference!!

nickatnightwalkerevery morning i break my legs getting out of bed

bythepowerof4do your heart attacks put you to sleep bc i know that feeling

nickatnightwalkeryeah thats why i sleep like four separate times a day

bythepowerof4and i thought that was just a #relateableteen thing

bythepowerof4so not to be weird but is this like. Chilly lackluster banter or are you actually not mad at me

nickatnightwalkerno im pissed

bythepowerof4ok

can i ask why

nickatnightwalkeri mean well first ya came at me for fucking with you which

like i said

i do but it's obvious

then you were a shit to daisy

so

thats that

bythepowerof4iiii mean. you said you wouldnt do that anymore. and then you did. i was just upset

and im sorry about daisy, i told her that too

bythepowerof4like really sorry!!

i just think its weird that someone can say, threaten to kill her and call her a bitch all the time

and youll date him

but i cant get a little upset when we're all high and im having a super stressful few days!!

nickatnightwalkerdo what anymore

bythepowerof4fuck with me

about her

nickatnightwalkerim not

i havent been

bythepowerof4you did though

bythepowerof4like what else was that picture

nickatnightwalkeryou said she was weird and creepy and i sent a picture of her being cute and sweet

bythepowerof4i said she was ACTING weird and creepy which objectively is an accurate description for someone talking about throbbing tentacle dicks and using the word "quivering" in relation to the nether regions of the girl they beat up for fun

but like, what do i know

i dont think shes weird and creepy and thats not what that photo was about im not an idiot

nickatnightwalkerlisten i frankly think everyone needs to reserve their judgment on the moire and daisy situation because it's clearly very complex and beyond the comprehension of mortal men and none of our fucking business to judge one way or another and, yknow, imho, moire has gills and misha smells like magic and youre 4d so maybe also reserve your fucking judgment on who's weird around here anyway

bythepowerof4i know thats why i apologized

nickatnightwalkershe can say shit like that and still be cute and sweet

bythepowerof4but like i said, high and upset and still getting used to this, so u can forgive me for one slip up surely

nickatnightwalkershe contains motherfucking multitudes

bythepowerof4thats not what you were saying though!! you didnt say that

you sent me a picture trying to make me jealous or something, just like she was saying, because obviously i cant have a private conversation with either one of you

nickatnightwalkerif youre jealous thats your problem

bythepowerof4im NOT

you both keep acting like i am thats not fair!!!

nickatnightwalkeri wasnt youre the one who's fixated on it

dont believe i ever said the j word

bythepowerof4i didnt either!! she did!!!

im not fixated on anything i just want to be able to talk to you without you making it about her all the time

nickatnightwalkerweve occasionally talked about more than daisy im p sure

bythepowerof4:/ you know what i meant

nickatnightwalkerwell this IS about her whether you think im continually screwing with you in some single minded attempt to torment you or not

and im not a fan of someone who says theyre her friend telling her shit like that

bythepowerof4i said SORRY it happens ok!!! i feel really awful about it why do you think i was so upset yesterday?

nickatnightwalkeri dont know dude i was baked

bythepowerof4i didnt know that specific thing upset her so much bc no one gave me a rule book for this shit and im never gonna do it again

nickatnightwalkerok cool

im also deciding rightnow this second i dont care if you believe why i sent the picture or not because youre so dead set on me trying to fuck with you ill never change your mind

and for the record

damians never called her a bitch again

nickatnightwalkerand if he tried to kill her, id be more concerned about scraping enough of him up off the sidewalk to fill a bucket

bythepowerof4youre not even gonna try to understand why i might think that

like i could tell you if u gave enough of a shit to listen yeah

nickatnightwalkeris poor self esteem and daisys difficulty with dropping her persona not the right answer

bythepowerof4not quite but thhanks

for that

nickatnightwalkerthats usually what it is

bythepowerof4ok just. Listen for a sec without jumping in to insult me yeah

bythepowerof4the two of you like, obviously tell each other everything. like u straight up reference shit shes obviously told u n vice versa

and that makes it weird cause it feels like im never talking to just you and thats why its weird when u bring her up bc its like, why wouldnt u just tell her whatever i say!!!

bythepowerof4and u keep saying i have a shot w her and telling me how to impress her when i just wanted to brag about winning chicken it didnt have to be a THING u know???

bythepowerof4but like!!! if ur saying that then she knows and it makes it weird!!! like you do that even when you said youd stop and then she accuses me of being jealous of moire and then you immediately send that picture and u can see how i might think it was a fucking team effort

yeah?????

bythepowerof4its weird and intimidating and im not even friends with her i was obviously fooling myself about that but i thought i was friends with you

like not youtwo as a unit or whatever fake setting me up

ok im done but that was stupid so whatever

nickatnightwalkerwell like 1. i dont tell her everything

i know hard concept but just because we talk about a lot of shit which is, yknow, what one does with friends, it doesnt mean we talk about everything

nickatnightwalkerfor instance: didnt know she said you were jealous of moire

bythepowerof4ok

bythepowerof4i believe you im obviously not that big a deal for u guys to bother talking abt me fine

but u can at least see how i might think that given ur whole thing is acting like ur joined at the hip and ganging up on ppl

u know

nickatnightwalkerwait do you want us to talk about you or not clea

nickatnightwalkershe was upset so she told me, i was pissed so i gave you photographic evidence

of the contrary imean

if i know everything about her then when i say youve got a shot i really think im in the best position to be calling that

bythepowerof4thats the problem!! Bc i clearly dont have a shot we dont even talk that much bc i dont even know how to talk to her and that makes it seem like ur pulling it out of ur ass!

nickatnightwalkereither i know everything about her or i dont make up your mind truong

bythepowerof4youre missing the point ok

nickatnightwalkerif the point isnt me giving you the run around to fuck with you not sure what the point is then

bythepowerof4oh my god

nickatnightwalkeris that not literally what you just said

bythepowerof4that is youre just getting bogged down in dumb shit im saying!!

nickatnightwalkeror dyou have your planes in a knot over us telling each other things like, information, like, sharing information about our lives

bythepowerof4stop that i dont give a shit about how the two of you act i just want you to get that its scary!! and it makes it hard for me and you expect me to be so good at this that the second i fuck up youre coming at methis hard

nickatnightwalkerof course i am shes my best friend and youre her friend so it's way worse than some rando ragging on her

bythepowerof4youre MY friend youre like my best friend here because im a fucking mess and youre getting personal about this and its upsetting me it doesnt have to be this intense???

nickatnightwalkerhurting daisy is always gonna be personal clea

nickatnightwalkerand i get you apologized and thats cool and that could be that but to the best of my fucking understanding im not giving you false hope and tbqh honestly, to be honest, actually, youre a decent fucking person and i have a strong preference that daisy go on coffee dates with someone whos not gonna knock her teeth out of her fucking head

bythepowerof4youre that invested and youve never said a single thing to her about it??

do you see how i might come to doubt that

nickatnightwalkeryeah and what the fuck would i say sorry but your weird hate crush kinda gives me the heebs have you ever considered not acting on that and trying to be relatively normal and healthy instead

bythepowerof4so what i have to do everything

nickatnightwalkeridk if youve noticed this but she doesnt really know what shes doing a lot of the time when shes talking to people so you know how i was talking about effort:: reward? thats where that comes in

bythepowerof4thats not fair

you could have just told her that thing you just said instead of pinning the work on other people without even telling them

nickatnightwalkergenerally speaking i try not to reveal daisys weaknesses to new acquaintances

bythepowerof4thats still not fair

do u even like me or are you seriously just trying to set her up with the least murderous person here

nickatnightwalkerif i didnt like you i wouldnt care if you were the least murderous person here

besides i dont get how you think us talking to each other is weird but you expect me to run interference in every single one of her friendships like, hey, just a heads up, shes got trouble finding the off button on the snarky attitude

like hell wingmanning you is pretty much the limit of what i can justify

bythepowerof4i dont expect you to do anything ive told you plenty of times that that shouldnt be your job

youre the one whos apparently been trying to invent a friendship where there isnt one?? forgive me for feeling kind of skeeved

nickatnightwalkeri was under the impression that you WERE friends

not sure when you stopped being friends actually

i KNOW shes doing her best to be less

bad

around you

bythepowerof4:/

nickatnightwalkerwhat

bythepowerof4i didnt wanna say "relationship" tbh bc there definitely isnt one of those

nickatnightwalkeroh haha relatable but look

i saw something good happening there with regards to daisy makin a human connection and i was trying my motherfucking utmost to encourage it

bythepowerof4ok but. its not a genuine human connection if youre there right

thats not very organic its just uncomfortable and confusing

i appreciate your help i guess but it was clearly more for her benefit than mine and that doesnt feel great?

nickatnightwalkerim not like lurking behind coffee machines im not actually THERE

and of course it's more for her benefit i didnt even know you

bythepowerof4i mean the second it went south you were, there, actually,

oh wow

thanks

nickatnightwalkerman youre not gonna pick me over like, your brother or something i dont see how this is shocking

besides

daisys

a good person to be friends with

bythepowerof4i mean sure but im still a bit caught up in you picking me out of a lineup like oh theyll do!!

nickatnightwalkerwhat line up

she likes you

bythepowerof4ok this part for once is not about her

well a little bit but listen

i thought we were friends because you thought i was nice and wanted to be

aka nothing to do with daisy

nickatnightwalkerwell like

yeah

that kinda helped your case though i guess

bythepowerof4no im sorry but that makes it weird

bythepowerof4that you befriended me for her sake and the second i pissed her off you trashed me for it like all im good for is bringing out the good in her

thats stupid??

nickatnightwalkeroh my god you have terrible reading comprehension

step 1.  we got to be friends

bythepowerof4ok we're back at insilts great!!!

nickatnightwalkershhh just shhh for like a second im breaking itdown alright

step 1. we got to be friends

step 2. you and daisy are also sort of friendsish

step 3. i encourage this shit because shes trying and youre pretty alright

step 4.  youre yelling at me for leading you on and befriending you to like lure you to daisy or some shit because i apparently just psychically knew you were ok

dont remember if we started talking because you were already talking to daisy so i figure that says something

bythepowerof4thats not what you just said but fine

bythepowerof4if im so wrong about all of this then im sorry for misunderstanding

nickatnightwalkerno it is what i just said

being friends with me first helped your case re me backing you up since i knew you werent a dick

bythepowerof4fine!!! ok i get it i just apologized

i cant help not getting stuff sometimes i figure u would get that being friends with daisy and all

but youre just saying all thise mean shit to upset me and not even feeling bad about it apparently

nickatnightwalkerlisten i really hand to god dont know what things youre talking about right now

doing it for daisy over you?  like

i knew you enough to know youre alright but daisy is daisy

bythepowerof4ok well yesterday, for one, with the "you should be flattered" bullshit

bythepowerof4and u were fucked so i would forgive that in a second if u bothered apologizing

or maybe the picture, which like, whatever your intentions were clearly was pretty hurtful

or anything about low self esteem, treating me like a melodramatic idiot,

any of that rally

nickatnightwalkerim gonna address these in order

bythepowerof4unless ur adress contains a sorry i dont care

ive heard ur excuses and thats great but thats not how this works

nickatnightwalkerlike

nickatnightwalkerugh jesus cut me some slack im not exactly a social guru here either im sorry about the low self esteem comment that was genuinely not meant to be douchy and neither was the picture even though i sent it because i was pissed

that was more of a look youre wrong kinda thing but i get how with daisy saying you were jealous that looks way harsher than i thought it was so im sorry about that

bythepowerof4even in context of like, just our previous convos i think that seems pretty harsh but yeah

thanks

i appreciate it for real

nickatnightwalkerand like i cant in good faith apologize for the you should be flattered shit because regardless of the situation daisy is daisy and in the interest of transparency im never gonna think anyones good enough for her but like i said she was willing to make an effort for you and i knew you were ok so

bythepowerof4oh my god

nickatnightwalkerwhat i honestly dont get why youre so shocked i prioritize daisy

bythepowerof4im not but you dont,, need to, for one

u know you didnt eed to compare us at all

and no offence but if youre trying to convince me you like me as a person and not just bc im convenient

saying "youre ok" as often as possible is NOT reassuring

nickatnightwalkeroh what

well first obviously i had to since you were getting kinda messed up over me doing thing for her not you and second of all i dont mean Ah Yes, You'll Do..... i mean youre ok

like

bythepowerof4that hadnt happened yet u just brought it up out of nowhere

nickatnightwalkernot bad

bythepowerof4it was douchey

nickatnightwalkerno you

you said it

like

ill scroll back if i have to but you said me doing it all for her felt bad

bythepowerof4yeah and it does fyi but u pulled that "you dont deserve her" crap last fucking night

if youre gonna continue a fight u started high at least read the backlogs dude

its clearly on ur mind if u brought it ip for no reason

nickatnightwalkerit wasnt for no reason it was because she was upset you called her weird and crazy

i didnt pull this shit from the void

bythepowerof4" you were getting kinda messed up over me doing thing for her not you" this hadnt happened yet thats all im saying

u cant even keep your excuses straight

i didnt compare us and you decided to and that understandably made me feel like shit

nickatnightwalkerwell goddamn you pulled the receipts it's certainly not like i couldnt have misunderstood what particular thing you were referring to

bythepowerof4i only did that bc u tried to make it about something else!! i get why u were mad at me but youre trying to make me look dumb its not fair!!

nickatnightwalkerim not trying to make you look like anything believe it or not

sometimes i too am capable of misunderstandings

bythepowerof4then why dont you ever say sorry for them

ive messed up like a dozen times in this convo alone and i said "sorry i misunderstood" ur just

id unno its going in circles and its dumb bc i just want you to not be mad at me

nickatnightwalkerbecause im too busy trying to tell you im not framing you to look like a tool

bythepowerof4and i said i believed you

but youre acting like im an idiot for thinking it at all

nickatnightwalkerdude im not

like i dont know what im doing thats making you think that but im sorry?

bythepowerof4i told you!! over and over!! and you kept making it into something else!!

literally read what u just said and tell me it wouldnt make u feel like an idiot

nickatnightwalkerwhatever sorry i compared you and said you should be flattered

bythepowerof4whatever

sorry agan for being a dick to you last night, bc i admit i was, and to daisy but ill take that one to her bc its like, Our Business

whatevers dont count and im tired so, till next time i guess

nickatnightwalker i said it after you upset her but before you apologized and pretty much would feel that way if donald glover himself came to her door

[wendyopaque]

this is also thehambeverage for anyone wondering why tf agsp is tagging them in something

yo i was tagged by a peep by the name of @cotton-candy-confusion and this is basically one of those facebook thingys where you go and tag someone and they have to answer questions. so im gonna do that.
RULES: answer the questions and tag 25 people! LAST: [1] DRINK: i have a nice pokemon glass of brisk ice tea [2] PHONE CALL: m mudca :) [3] TEXT MESSAGE: it was actually to the group chat (kik group chat, if you want that information msg me and ill let u in; its atl related usually) about how my next project is going to be a self-driving barbie jeep [4] SONG YOU LISTENED TO: willingly: citizens of earth by neck deep. unwillingly, however, was the meow mix remix 10 hour version [5] TIME YOU CRIED: despite the fact i wanted to all day long, i actually didnt. so it was a few nights ago because i had a dream that everything that happened today happened and i was so frustrated i started crying HAVE YOU EVER… [6] DATED SOMEONE TWICE: i havent even dated someone once really [7] BEEN CHEATED ON: no [8] KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: the only person ive ever kissed (well, kissed by) was mark hoppus and i dont regret [9] LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: yes [10] BEEN DEPRESSED: yeah, in fact i just woke up from a 7 hour depression nap [11] GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: ive never been drunk but one time i made really good grilled cheese but then it wasnt so good because i gave myself food poisoning and threw up for three days LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] green [13] more green [14] did i mention green IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] MADE NEW FRIENDS: YES AND I LOVE THEM ALL [16] FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: no but this reminds me of the line in romeo and juliet where romeo is just like im out and either benvolio or mercutiois just like out- oF LOvE???? and romeo is like hell no wft [17] LAUGHED SO HARD YOU CRIED: lots of times [18] FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: i mean no but would i care really probably yes because i care about my reputation but also maybe not [19] MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: i think everyone changes me because i want to absorb everyones good qualities and become The Best [20] FOUND OUT WHO YOUR TRUE FRIENDS ARE: everyones my true friend i love people [21] KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: no [22] HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: all of them except hunter, but he just wants to be my friend on fb so i can send him 8 ball pool gifts [23] DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: my dogs birdie, jared, and sugar and my dads dog miss noodles 8^) [24] DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: my real name is actually p good (its marissa) because ican get away with you guys calling me meech because it starts with an m [25] WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY: invited my pals to my humble abode and we tried to watch a horror movie but like a really crappy one but it was so bad no one was interested [26] WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: i woke up at 5:30 am to meet bright and early with my rov crew but i woke up from my depression sleepytime junction at 11 [27] WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT: trying to unlock the bathroom door with a pair of scissors [28] NAME SOMETHING YOU CANNOT WAIT FOR: starting the self driving barbie jeep!!!! [29] WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOTHER: at like 5 when she picked me up from the competition [30] WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE ABOUT YOUR LIFE: im actually really happy where i am now ü (thats a creepy smiley face) [31] WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: i have an episode of malcolm in the middle playing in the background rn [32] HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: wtf [33] SOMETHING THAT GETS ON YOUR NERVES: when my step father parks his truck too close to the gate so i have to move the entire gate in order to take the dumb trash bins out [34] MOST VISITED SITE: more than likely cool math 4 kids [35] ELEMENTARY: ew i was really into ghost hunters and never brushed my hair and was just embarrassing in general [36] HIGH SCHOOL: so far, i really like it [37] COLLEGE: not even sure yet but hopefully my SATs turn up good later on down the road and some school wants me [38] HAIR COLOR: green but theres this blue strip in it and its weird [39] LONG OR SHORT HAIR: short [40] DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: 👀 [41] WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: im really funny and i have nice legs [42] PIERCINGS: i have one ear pierced and contrary to popular belief it is not the detroit red wings logo [43] BLOOD TYPE: im not sure which is really bad [44] NICKNAME: mostly meech but irl ppl call me misha/misho and rissa [45] RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single [46] ZODIAC SIGN: aquarius [47] PRONOUNS: she/her [48] FAV TV SHOW: hmm probably bobs burgers [49] TATTOOS: none [50] RIGHT OR LEFT HANDED: right FIRST… [51] SURGERY: never had one! [52] PIERCING: m ears [53] BEST FRIEND: i think her name was hannah or some shit idk it was first grade [54] SPORT: im not a sports kid im a competitive robot kid [55] VACATION: rogers city 2002!! [56] PAIR OF TRAINERS: what are trainers RIGHT NOW… [57] EATING: nothing [58] DRINKING: only my favorite beverage, orange juice [59] IM ABOUT TO: go to costco and mooch off of their free samples [60] LISTENING TO: the blink-182 cover of dead mans curve [61] WAITING FOR: seamus to follow me back on twitter (hes being a little bitch rn) [62] WANT: seamus to follow me back on twitter (fuck u seamus) [63] GET MARRIED: sure [64] CAREER: whatever i can get tbh. ideally something in construction/engineering WHICH IS BETTER… [65] HUGS OR KISSES: smorch [66] LIPS OR EYES: lips [67] SHORTER OR TALLER: ??i want to be taller?? [68] OLDER OR YOUNGER: older ?? (are these supposed to be abt like someone romantically or??? idk??) [69] ROMANTIC OR SPONTANEOUS: spontaneous [70] NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: really i dont mind [71] SENSITIVE OR LOUD: i guess sensitive ? [72] HOOKUP OR RELATIONSHIP: relationship !! i love commitment [73] TROUBLEMAKER OR SENTIENT: GIVE ME A SENTIENT SUPER POWER BOYF / GIRLF HAVE YOU EVER… [74] KISSES A STRANGER? hoppus <3 [75] DRABK HARD LIQOUR? nope [76] LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES? but always found them in the end [77] TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: nope [78] SEX ON FIRST DATE? with what dats [79] BROKEN SOMEONES HEART? hopefully not [80] HAD YOUR OWN HEART BROKEN? nope [81] BEEN ARRESTED? no but i thought the lady at speedway was going to call the cops on me because she seemed really mad i was getting a slurpee and it made me anxious [82] CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED? of course [83] FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: hyperventilates 👀👀👀 DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] YOURSELF? always have always will [85] MIRACLES? yes!! [86] LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? no [87] SANTA CLAUS? no [88] KISS ON FIRST DATE? smorch [89] ANGELS? yes OTHER… [90] CURRENT BEST FRIENDS NAME: i have like 8 million bffjills i cant name them all [91] EYE COLOR: green [92] FAVORITE MOVIE: THE SHINING ☝️☝️☝️

i dont know/have 25 mutuals so heres all the people who immediately come to mind:

@carbonatedbeveragecurtis @dinotyler @a-percious-fandom-cinnamon-roll @amerrickancandy @notanordinarybandgeek @gloogle @flannelbarakat @jack-bracket

[sunflowerstationary]

This post is… kind of long

Tip: when typing on tumblr app, since it inconvenient to save as you go, occasionally select and copy everything so it’s saved on the clipboard

I can’t say much about the driving test because its been forever, but my instructor wasn’t like, unfriendly. I asked him about his job and he talked about how in his experience doing the test, all of the accidents have happened because of people who already had their licenses. And really, theres no shame in failing your first test. The instructor i had failed several people from the School of Driving or something. Its not a consistent test, I don’t think.

I’m really glad you get to live with Scappy again, I’m sure he’s super pleased to see you all the time again. i hate being away from my babies so much. They have each other, but no one pays enough attention to them I just don’t enjoy being home most of the time. Honestly, the biggest problem is that theres no where comfortable to sit. Like, the kitchen table doesn’t have chair backs, the couches are uncomfortable and impossible to cuddle on, and the floor is, well, the floor. Plus you never know who’s going to be home and when.

I would totally love to learn some russian. I wish I had the time to really commit myself to learning another language. I’m currently just trying to teach myself to use home row using keybr. I have yet to get all the way through because q keeps fucking me up. Also my nails make it kind of hard to like, really keep my fingers on the home row because if i do that I can’t really hit the bottom row of keys.

I occasionally text Collin, but they aren’t very good for answering. I don’t think there ever was any sort of resolution between us and think we agreed to keep it that way. I don’t think about them very much but I do miss them. I wish i could keep track of them better and support them somehow, they really meant a lot to me.

As a kind of side note, I occasionally talk to Rayzel. I like her, though its awkward sometimes because she doesn’t really carry on a conversation well. She rarely messages me first and that makes it really hard for me but she’s uber supportive all the time and its nice. She’s kind of been a nice neutral party when i don’t know who to talk to about a something.

Things are kind of better for me, though it feels fake and definitely would still rather be dead most of the time. Like I’m not sad as often but I also tend to default to sleep or alcohol before it gets really bad. So thats probably not the most healthy coping mechanisms but. idk things are good right now but i’m also pretty sure its because my school workload is very light and I’m barely working. I haven’t done any work for athena in twoish weeks and I’m only working 11ish hours for bk so I’m all hell will break loose for me when school gets tough and I get more hours.

The babies are good, Sandstorms face is getting bad again, and Lucky probably needs another bath. Sandstorms taken up peeing in the dining room again. Mom put the litter box in there for a while and obviously it helped, but mom couldn’t deal with the smell so she slowly moved it closed to the door for downstairs. and by slowly I mean not very slowly at all. It don’t think it really helped because I caught sandstorm peeing in there one morning when I was getting her shot ready.

Me and Kevin are good. Since I isolated the hell out of myself so he would be comfortable, there really isn’t any other tensions. I do really regret isolating myself so hard. I still wonder sometimes if I’m making the right decision here- am I going to look back in twenty years and wish I had put my foot down while I was still young and we had only been together a few years? I’m so clearly poly, and I’m going to keep falling in love with my friends for the rest of my life. Thats just how I am. I really don’t know what to do about it. I can’t imagine life without Kevin. I can’t even remember to put a bra on or brush my teeth, he more or less holds my life together since I just cannot.

The party thing was good. I got so drunk. I regret that. But it was fun and I really like Chris so. One of kelvins other friends, Tyler, who I like as well, showed up super high and now I am uncomfortable. Like, i knew he smoked but idk. I think I still need to get over that. I probably just need to get high once or twice and like. Not die or whatever. idk. But I totally forgot Chris’s comment and I’m TOTALLY going to ask the next time were alone. I’ll have to ask Kevin about the comment again to refresh my memory.

I haven’t tried the wine yet, it’s at my house and I plan on opening it whenever I need it there since its more socially acceptable than shots.

Athena hasn’t been great tbh. It did wonders for my self-esteem while I was there. More from feeling like I was important than actual work. But now that I’m gone, no one talks to me at all and it kind of. feels like its invalidating everything that happened while I was there. Idk. I got fairly close with a girl named Aubrie but she has barely talked to me at all since I left. No one is willing to hold conversations with me, and I wasn’t really around long enough and I didn’t talk enough to be able to ask people about their lives. Plus, they’re all very much in different parts of life than me, so it wouldn’t be good conversation anyway. Being a good listener is less useful when its not in persna and they have to type up everything. Its more effort for less reward. So no, i’m not getting much work and no I don’t really keep up with anyone. I should though. Physical letters would be a good idea. I wish I was a bit more creative, I could like, send pictures and trinkets and such. Idk. I should def do it.

I have so much I’ve wanted to talk to you about, but I can’t even remember most of it. I’m not sure If I told you, but the only queer on the team recommended the artist Kate Bush to me. They said that she was a very important part of her life and they have a tattoo relating to one of her songs so I was like ‘I’ll totally give her a try’. I’ve only really listened to her album Hounds of Love, but her other famous songs are Withering Heights and Babooshka. She’s very whimsical, and I have no idea if you’ll like her but, you know. I listened to a documentary on her while I was working and it was super interesting so I’m convinced.

NOTE: we should probably tag these so we can find them. You’re better at coming up with tags, so its your job :P

Schools been okay, Team Projects been kind of yucky because its all the people I’m trying to avoid, but the teacher is A++, very dad. So hopefully it should be okay. The problem is we had to ‘expose’ ourselves to help us work in teams better and I both did not want to share at all and also very much wanted to overshare. But Jordan, a girl who I took bookbinding with and I’m friends with, is in the class so that helps. Diversity in the Deaf Community is cool, the teacher is super great. He’s deaf, which makes it hard for me to talk to him but he’s so AWARE. Our first real lecture talked about how everything is a social construct. I never hear teachers talking about that. the final project is going to be a big deal though and I’m worried its going to overwhelm me, because I’ve got big final projects in every class.

ASL 3 is fine, I feel behind but it hasn’t gotten bad yet. Its got a paper that requires I interview a deaf person which. should be interesting. I really am shit at reading sign sometimes. Topics in Media Arts, Sciences will probably be really helpful in the long run but will probably be hell. The teacher is Russian, I believe, and her english isn’t always very good. The way she talks is incredibly frustrating for me- she’s just like my mom, she stops halfway through sentences. And she’s not always clear and we have to do like, real experiments. Were going to have eye tracking and finger thingys and its gonna be a lot.

And then Abnormal psych, the only class I’m actually excited to go to, which is from 5:30 to 6:50 which is. so yucky. But the teacher is super great and also super aware. she talks about how we need to break down the stigma around mental illness. Her specialty is working with Bipolar kids. She’s very energetic but i think she’s probably in her forties?  I actually have no idea but i’m accounting for my shitty sense of peoples age. Her face is actually very skull-like if you look at it close enough. Her eyes are kind of sunken and her nose is kind of big. I keep like, unconsciously diagnosing her. I think she probably has body image issues. She’s incredible, incredibly skinny. She wearing really tight tops but always has really really baggy pants. Idk, its not really my place though.

Mom hasn’t bitched as much about Ed lately, but I’m not sure if it’s because it’s getting better or because she’s getting used to it. I’m getting used to it for sure. I talked to him about making the cat tree. He said it would take a couple hours at most, and would be considerably cheaper than 300 dollars. He can get carpet for free, and wood and brackets aren’t that expensive. I guess before I okay it with him, look online, the the prices were much much cheaper (though I don’t know about shipping) but if me and Ed do it, you can make it look however you want. I think that would be kind of cool. I’ll try to remember to bug you about this if you don’t text me about it.

Victoria broke up with TJ, and he was anorexic for a time and dropped a bunch of weight. He says now he’s back to about his old weight now, with the binging and the muscle gain. He also recently started dating a tiny red head names Cameron. I don’t know much about her other than she’s a singer and not much of a dancer (Which is approximately the opposite of Victoria).

Dad has more or less stayed out of my life.

Me and Kevin got into Bondage, and it’s very much an experience I want to share with you. But I don’t know how comfortable you’d be so I figured I’d ask before I got into it. I also found out i’m into wax play and we’ve both struggled with the whole thing where were both subs and its hard.

Speaking of hard, I just wanted to make it clear in case it wasn’t, I’m not particularly comfortable being in Steve’s presence. I’m not sure what to do about it- I feel guilty for not liking him, especially because I wasn’t sure if it was because of who he is or because I’m jealous but now i’m especially wary of him after the thing on my birthday. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to really like him after all of the things he’s said about me that were negative. I admit, he is kind part of the reason I don’t really come over anymore (though our conflicting work schedules really really don’t help). So. Idk. I don’t particularly want to talk to him about it but I’m willing to if you want me to.

I think I had more to say, but theres already so much so! I love you very very much and I don’t even have words to explain how relieved I am that things are looking up for you. You deserve the whole word, just for being you. It’s probably more my fault for the lack of communication, especially as the one with more spoons in general.

Thank you for everything

EDIT: Send me the link to the Boot! Also, you should be proud, I’ve been listening to P!ATD for the past two weeks straight. so.