#fuck all u tv moms and daughters

[sativasaruh]

"Are you playing your game?"

"So do you and your friends ever all find that you're all on your phone together silent?"

wtf. And keep in mind she's addicted to ads and product scams on fucking facebook.

[bunnigumi]

─ FLUORESCENT ADOLESCENT

YOU KNOW HOW hormonal teenagers are. Especially the boys. They'll want to fuck anything; even their own sisters.

cw. megumi x reader , incest , porn with plot , reader described with small chest , brief mentions of drinking/smoking , Toji is referred to as dad/daddy (nonsexual) , light exhibitionism , dead dove

an. hi guys!! thank you!! for!! 600+ followers!!!!! i lowkey accidently edged you guys at the end srry in advance i didn't have motivation to write out a full smut scene and i hope theres no typos in this bc ill cry if i see it too late... happy reading ^u^ ^_<

There's a lot of things Megumi can't do when Toji's around. Shower for too long and use up all the hot water, sneak his beers. Get handsy with his sister.

But he seems to do the last one all the time, whether his dad is home or not.

Toji is always too loud watching baseball or horse racing on the TV to hear the noises you make when your brother tries to shove his fingers up your virgin ass for the second time. You chickened out the first because you heard the front door open, your dad coming home for the first time in weeks.

Thought he was going to walk in on the two of you. Ask how your day was, what you've been up to. Something along the lines of what a normal dad would do. All he ever does is mope around. She's dead and you're all grown up.

But Megumi likes to humor you, Let's do it under the covers then.

Especially when you're so irrational, Wanna feel good, right? He won't hear a thing by the time I get my fingers in.

Sometimes he's too passed out drunk to see the bedroom door open with Megumi's hands groping your breasts. They're too small to be properly fondled, but he's always liked girls with small tits. 

You've shared a room since forever. There's only two, one for you and Megumi, and one for your parents. But daddy spends most of the nights on the couch, never makes it a step past the living room.

It probably wasn't the best idea. Megumi started touching you all inappropriately at night, your stuffed dolls from family friend facing away when he fingers you, fucks you, kisses you.

You know how hormonal teenagers are. Especially the boys. They'll want to fuck anything; even their own sisters.

Your brother liked to kiss you a lot when you were younger. Regardless of where you were, who you were with. Simple, fleeting kisses on the lips. Your mom and dad would do it all the time.

Grown ups would fawn over how cute you were as children. How well you two got along. How they wished their children were as well behaved as you two were.

It's not all weird for their age. Shiu said it's just what kids do, kids are parrots, not that he has any. But'chya better teach ‘em it's not normal, or you’re gonna have inbred grandbabies. He says it with a quirked lip, chuckling, and a cigarette in between his fingers.

Your dad, unfazed, gnawed on his own, the sliding door open, summer on your face. Puppy stickers trailing up on the glass that don't make it past the handle.

On a good day, Toji's got a Playboy magazine in one hand, a cold bottle in the other. C'mere, boy. He likes to call Megumi from your room to taunt him. Don't she look just like your sister? Flat out drunk. Well, with that rack, it's more like your ma. See, now this one's more like your sister. Isn't that funny?

He tears out the page, careful to not cut through the model's hips, and tosses it in Megumi's direction. His eyes never leaving the magazine. Not even when he takes a swig of the bottle.

Don't fucking talk about your daughter like that. The hell's wrong with you? Megumi says it partially under his breath. And he says it like he isn't hard in front of his dad, like it's not because of the thought of his sister. 

His face twitches with mock disgust. It's as if he isn't folding the page and slipping it into his pocket when he heads back to your shared room.

It all went through one ear and out the other—television static. Toji doesn't look up, doesn't notice Megumi leave. The daggers stabbed into his hollow head. The hard on his son’s got at the mention of his sister. He never notices anything at all.

And it's whatever. You're waiting for him. You want to show him the new panties you bought when you were out with your girlfriends, the money courtesy of your brother. Not in exchange for sex, of course. He loves you more than to treat you like a prostitue. Plus, you'd do it for free, so that makes you a good sister slut.

Megumi doesn't like his new part time all too much. ‘Part time’ means being away from you, leaving you alone. Government code to keep families apart. Buy whatever you like. You're a people pleaser.

Your dad babies you a lot. He still doesn't understand how teenagers work. Coddles you to death like you're still five when his breath smells like spearmint.

It's about the same for Megumi, that kiddy treatment. Still offers runs out to the nearby store to buy ice cream, loitering for the air conditioning on days when cold baths with you aren't enough to kill the heat. Sticking their faces in freezers, your mom twirling you in circles. Letting you go like a wind up doll, spinning and spinning ‘till the world was dizzy.

You inherited her smile, her upturned eyes when you laughed.

And you hate the way Toji let himself go. The person he became. The safety, the warmth. Detached too early from nurturing. Spiraling all the way down from the tree, the nest.

You, me, your sister. Like we used to.

He never got his ass off the couch. Not for those recreational things at least. Everyone knows that, but Toji still tries.

Not to say that Megumi isn't a fan of tradition. Cold baths with you, having you warm his dick while he washes your hair with strawberry, 3-in-1 kid shampoo. Sucking your little tits and biting down on your tender neck. Rubbing your needy clit in circles, your hips bucking, water sloshing. Suds popping and flying in the air. Soapy residue clinging to tile walls.

Your dad doesn't question why you still do it together when you're in your teenage years, or how you two should have outgrown baths already. It's a win-win situation.

He never has a reason to leave; no wife to nag him about remembering to buy fabric softener at the store with the groceries because he forgot the last time. It's not that important, only sissies need soft clothes to survive.

When he does leave, it's for days on end. And you never really notice when he does until you’re on your way out the door to school in the early morning, and there's no one on the couch, not a note on the counter.

When you were a kid, you used to imagine what death was like. They say death is hardest on the living, but you werent old enough to remember your mother, the funeral. Just the one memory you jogged your mind for at night, when you were cold and no one was home yet. Your dad would tell you how much you looked like her, so you'd stare in the mirror at night, trying to remember her face.

And with experience, you think that it goes something like this: Watching the soul drain with grief, sorrow and self pity. Seeing the living corpse rot until you familiarize yourself with the body on the couch and the smell of death. Until it disintegrates to pieces, and you don't remember seeing it ever happen.

Tugging at the hem of your uniform shirt, slipping on your shoes and leaning on the door handle you’d drill holes into the Toji-shaped spot and the door is quietly shut behind you, your brother still asleep.

He's gotten into the college near home and has been taking on more night shifts. Most of his classes start in the afternoon and you miss walking with him to school.

Megumi's the one paying attention to you more, and even extra attention on nights when dad isn't home and he's back from work.

You can be as loud as you need to be, fuck as much as you want. You've grown to be one spoiled girl, that's for sure.

Toji saw him feeling you up once in the kitchen when he went to grab leftover takeout from the fridge. You thought he wasn't home. Turned out he hadn't left the house since yesterday, passed out in his room. Still smelled like a bar, nicotine, and a skank.

You think it's the first time he actually slept there since, well, you know. 

The hell you kids doing. It wasn't a question. He said it with a yawn, with glaring indifference in the base of his tone. Megumi ignored the way his shoulders were slumped over. How he rested his weight on the fridge handle.

And you could act like it didn't happen, like your older brother wasn't pressing up against your backside, trying to stick his junk inside of you.

Nothing, daddy. It's all in your imagination. Just playing. You've just been watching too many pornos. By the way, are you hungover? Your breath reeks of cumsluts and prostitute whores.

Megumi finds that Toji tends to only register the sound of your voice rather than your words. He'd gotten pretty good at that thing with your mother. When you hit puberty, you started to sound like her.

And it's easy for Toji to turn a blind eye. To forget and be at ease. Megumi could really just have continued to go and fuck you right there over the kitchen counter. You're real good at quick and dirty. There’d be the high pitch of your moans and Toji could care less.

It's what happens when you have a dead mom, a college roommate of a dad, and a touchy brother for a family.

Shiu managed to lure Toji out of the house tonight with the promise of girls and booze. Like a dog hearing the words ‘park’ and ‘treat’. Pathetic, is what it is.

You’re wrapping your hand around your older brother’s cock. Pressing your cheek against his thigh. Pleading eyes staring up at him because you’re unsure of how to start. Red knees on scratchy hardwood floor. It's been a while since you had time for foreplay more than kissing and fingering.

“Suck it like a popsicle. Careful with your teeth,” He says in a low voice. “Yeah, exactly like that.”

You've always been a quick learner. Daddy doesn’t know that. Grey rings on unopened report cards turned coasters.

But your brother sure does. He likes to encourage your learning with a hand tangled into your hair. And he’s not all too strict of a teacher, relenting in his grasp when you dig your nails into the side of his legs. Pulling off with saliva dripping down your chin. Lips pouty and shredded like paper, your jaw aching. Thighs rubbing together, always desperate for something more.

Megumi lifts you up onto his lap so that you're straddling him, and taking the initiative, you throw your arms around his neck—pressing your bodies together, grinding down on him and zealously chasing after his lips.

You love like it's second nature.

Intimately to the ideal of union. Crossing lines just to hear the way they snap, it's more satisfying from the other side. In privileged rebellion; the temptation that comes with this taboo of want.

He can taste himself on you, with notes of sugar from home baked cookies and cheap frosting on your tongue.

Megumi has to force you still, his hands squeezing tight around your waist.

Petulant like a child, a whine leaves your mouth at the halt of friction. He manhandles your position so that your back is resting on his chest. Legs dangling off the edge of the bed, kicking and making a soft thumping noise against its side. 

Lifting up the hem of your shirt, his shirt that you’re wearing, reveals nothing but white panties soaked wet from the way your brother nips at your bottom lip when you kiss, from humping him, the way he loves you, too.

He shoves your panties to the side, smearing your slick all over your cunt with his fingers, onto your clit. He rubs light circles, eliciting breathy moans from you before abruptly stopping to pull your underwear down the rest of the way, letting it fall carelessly to the floor.

Resting his chin on your shoulder and marking the dip between your neck and shoulder with red indents of his teeth, the sting of his canines, he slips his middle finger into your cunt. The ring, to stretch you out. Then the index, to see how much you can take.

Facing the open door, no one's on the couch while your big brothers got a hand between your thighs. The other sliding under your shirt, agonizingly slow up your chest in a way that sends shivers up your spine, translating into hunger for your brain.

You don't wear bras at home, but you enjoy wearing frilly, lacy ones. Little white bows on the center of your chest. Dolly and cute to the point it was sexy, but not overly so. In blue and pink pastels bordering white.

Megumi was always poked fun at for hanging out with you during lunch and breaks in middle school. Always badgered by his rag-tag group of friends. 

C’mon, Fushiguro. Hang out with us. Just for today at least. That pink haired one was always so whiny. Cute, maybe, but whiny. Or what about after school? You always go straight home. He got on your nerves. You hated him. 

Only sister fuckers hang out with them at school. The brunette was fairly pretty. Skinny legs, good tits. Glossy lips when she said her snide remarks. You always had this fear that Megumi would leave you for her. Irrational, did he mention? You shot her a glare, green eyed monster, and hated her too.

You’d ask Megumi to follow you to the girls bathroom after lunch. Undoing the buttons of your blazer. The first, second, third one of your dress shirt—flashing starstruck eyes with a new bra. Arms pushing your breasts together, offering him a sweet smile. Lustful persuasion.

Then you would leave him for class and he'd have to jerk off to get rid of his boner. In a stall over the toilet, quick so no one hears him. Grinding his teeth together, biting down on his lip, chewing the side of his mouth to muffle the noise until it all hurt.

You’ve always liked to rile him up. To leave him high and dry, no hand holding on the way home, then give him all of you the second you step into the door without so much as a glance to see if anyone's in the house.

You like to tease him, even whenever Toji is near. 

Simulating the tent in his pants with your feet under the table while daddy is smoking with Shiu.

Staring at your brother from across with a glint of mischief in your eyes.

Waiting for his cool composure to break until he’s got only two options: Bend you over the table and fuck you right then and there, or play his little sister’s game, her rules. Puppy dog eyed, exhibitionist freak.

Your hips continuously grind up to meet his knuckles. Clutching his wrist, whispering as he curiously stops his attack on your neck, ��More. Want more,” and you hold your breath.

You feel him smile on your skin. Without a word, he flips you onto the mattress, and knows exactly what you want, exactly what you need by the way you hook your legs over his back, locking your ankles together. Pulling him in closer. Effectively caging him in. The world can't have him. You've claimed your stake on him a long time ago.

And the words that leave your mouth feel nothing but natural. Your voice is airy, breathy. This insatiable desire tugs harshly at your heart.

Your lips purse together for a moment, just a single moment before the words seamlessly roll off your tongue. 

“I love you," like you were born to do.

[chrissdollie]

Dad Bakugo x mom reader - I need more children in my life 😭✋🏾

def calls his kid "squirt" and "buddy"

in mY universe, he has a boy and a girl bc he needs the best of both worlds

CALLS YOU "MA" GOODNIGHT

we all know he wakes up really early, earlier than you even, so he's the one to check on the babies/kids every morning to see if they're ok :)

definitely keeps schedules of you and your kids days like exams, report cards, if they're going to a friend's house, etc

yk how most kids tend to be like "ewwww" whenever their parents kiss?? not ur kids nono. first of all, your son is the quieter one. not that he's not talkative, he just has a little bit of a hard time expressing himself. anyhow, his sister is very loud. but either way, they both think its sweet. your daughter even said something like "i hope my husband kisses me like that" once (when she was an older kid tho lol)

your son goes to talk to you a lot. he adores you so so much. but one day when he wanted to hang out with you, you weren't home. you were busy running errands while katsuki was at home watching tv. your son started crying and katsuki was like wtf?? eventually, your son grew accustomed to speaking to katsuki. as he got older, he actually talked to him more than you.

teaches your son how to be a man :,) katsuki knew he was bitchy in his younger years and he didn't want either of his kids to be like him. he taught them both manners and how to properly have a conversation.

little pitter patter of their feet ran into your guys' shared bedroom on christmas morning and began jumping your bed. katsuki groaned and rubbed his eyes aggressively. "it's christmas, mommy!" your little boy shouted. "wake up daddy!!" your daughter shouted in his ear. "alright alright you rugrats"

at your daughter's kindergarten graduation (idk if everyone had this but i did lmao), katsuki was tearing up and although he tried to hide it, he had to remain the strong one while comforting you while you bawled your eyes out.

p.s your daughter is the oldest

when she brought home her first boyfriend... ooo chile

i see a lot of people writing how katsuki would act up but tbh in his older years, i think he'd be a lot more mature. he'd greet the dude politely and treat him like he would any of her friends

btw lemme just say: your daughter is a mommy AND daddy's girl. she loves u both insanely

honestly while eating dinner with the boyfriend or something, katsuki would be very blunt and not pay too much mind to him LMAOO he'd be like "'tis is great, doll" as if you don't cook dinner every week and it's only when your daughter brings up how he wants to work at katsuki's angency, where he perks up

"oh shit, no kiddin'?" and you smack his arm lightly.

well this changes everything! he practically gave the kid his blessing. "welcome to the family son"

your son doesn't really care about them together, he just doesn't wanna see his big sis get hurt. lets say that your son is 15 and your daughter is 17. "so, bf/n. have you fucked her?"

you almost spit out your drink like a cartoon. your daughter is shook, katsuki's rage from UA is all coming back to him, and the boyf is scared for his life

you, katsuki, and your daughter have a little talk after dinner

"use condoms" kats stated. "i- WH- nono you can have sex next year." you corrected but ur daughter is like huh?? "wha why next year?" you scoff. "because you'll be a legal adult thats why." "no offense, momma, but that's really dumb. when did you and dad start having sex?" she folded her arms. katsuki shrugged. "like i said, use condoms."

you and your daughter gossip like crazy alr?? ur like the gilmore girls except you're married and didn't get pregnant at 16 (almost)

and this is nothing new to katsuki, he's heard u guys gossip trillions of times. but when he found out you guys talked abouy HIM TOO??

he busts into the room. your daughter squeals and runs behind you. "hi honeyy-" he shushes you, "you guys talkin' shit 'bout me?" "nope" you guys say in unison. "there's this other guy, uh.."

[campbenji]

*JWCT SPOILERS* very messy first thoughts

OH BOY here we go

-ben and darius's dynamic was epic. the hug. the roadtrip scenes. "is your friend okay?" "no 😊". ben getting darius out of his isolation cabin and darius grounding him in ep2. the parallels with s3ep7. "you kiss your mother with that mouth?" i'm gonna be thinking about that scene for days. their ship is still a swim to me but please they better keep whatever the fuck they have going on in s2 because it's fucking wonderful

-i love that they took the chance to give more light to duos we didn't see much in jwcc. teamups we didn't often see like ben and sammy, THE B-DUO, and darius and sammy got very special moments here

-the amount of pictures/videos from the six years in between??? the brooklynn flashbacks??? we were so well fed

-BRAND!!!!!! i got so happy when i heard him the first episode, he's clearly been checking on his brother and i'm glad he's ok

-bowman family FEAST. brand and darius talking over the phone. the pictures on the cabin. kenji saying he calls mrs. bowman once a week and all the nice things he said about her. the whole mess between kenji and darius. "we're brothers, right?" i died dead. i love this family your honor

-sammy. she's got so much going on and we desperately need to talk about it. i'm so worried about her, she's desperately trying to avoid confronting what happened with brooklynn, with yaz and her own trauma, and then they casually dropped on us that her family isn't speaking to her and never elaborated on that?? sammy, who's love and care for her family was her biggest motivation in jwcc?? i need to know what happened because it must've been big

-mateo!! i liked him a lot, he definitely doesn't want to get into any of this mess but still dabbles around a bit to help the kids, which i respect. also i hope we get to meet his daughter hiraya, she sounds really cool

-MS MICROBANGS (or the handler, or whatever name we're calling her). what is her deal. who is she working for. she's so uncanny, literally almost robotic i need to know more about her

-brookenji over i cheered. don't take this personally i've never been a fan of this ship and a part of me knew they weren't going to last long

-the animation increased in quality so much. the scene after ben, yaz and sammy get out of the sinking van is so well done it's so pretty to look at. and the t-rex with the explosion behind her? it reminds me so much of toro in the tunnels in s1ep8, and i haven't tested this out but i feel like if you put them one next to the other the improvement would be so noticeable.

-also related to the point above: that thing when a character's eyes start filling up with tears but they don't cry just yet? 10/10. chef's fucking kiss

-sure jwct has the same tv-y7 rating as jwcc, but from minute 1 it's obvious it's not the same audience they're talking to. it's not a big change in tone, like for example adventure time/distant lands/fionna and cake, but it's there, you can tell they know it's not little kids watching anymore

-BUMPY IS HAVING A BABY BUMPY IS A MOM NOW they had me shit scared for her and then they pulled a freaking egg my heart was literally pounding. anyways i hope they get both bumpy and the egg somewhere safe and that they name the new anky "speckles" (i've gotten so attached to that name in the last 24 hours it's insane)

-YASAMMY THE QUEENS THAT YOU ARE. their relationship was stellar this season, i was scared when i saw that they were apart but their issues felt organic to their relationship and i just love how they were written in the show, they are still so in love with each other and i can't wait to see where they go next season. they're everything to me

-yeah they were apart for half the season but. benji crumbs. the egg cradle scene. kenji helping ben after he got hit with the stun gun. basically all they did was act like they knew each other but idc. we are so back.

-the brooklynn reveal was... meh?? it could've been more rewarding if they waited until s2 to reveal she's still alive, but at least i hope they take their time before reuniting her with the rest of the camp fam. also i can't believe ppl even guessed what arm she was going to lose y'all have prophetic powers or smth

-bringing daniel back to kill him the same episode was an insane move btw. i would've normally complained but it's all worth it for causing the panic attack scene in ep7. kenji's reaction felt so genuine, i'm forever in awe at how well this show writes grief and trauma

-i'm so conflicted about darius's confession. i like dinostar, but i feel like it wasn't needed for darius to be in love with brooklynn to explain the voicemails and the way he was dealing with her death. she was one of his closest friends, his grief made sense even with them being platonic. on the other hand, i love how he admitted it to kenji and the fact they didn't turn it into a huge fight between them; also, "i didn't know i could even feel that way" aroace/acespec darius truthers never lose

-maybe it's just that i need to rewatch, but i'm lost as to where they're going next season?? i know they're getting on a boat but where does that go?? what are they trying to do?? there's so much happening my head is spinning

-ben... he kind of felt like the comic relief for most of the show, the first episodes showed him as being really paranoid again and struggling with being alone, but halfway through the season they just sort of forgot about it?? idk something was off

-bring back kenji's old latin spanish va idk who this guy is but that is not kenji i can't do this. i'll survive the loss of ryan potter but i won't survive this

anyways yeah i think those are most of my uncooked thoughts, overall i really liked the season, i can't believe we got to see the kids again this is still so unreal to me

[theangelsheardyou]

I know I don't have much of an mha audience on here since I mostly post bsd, but fuck it, bakugou rarepair headcanons bc I cannot stop thinking about them

BakuTsuyu

As the eldest daughter, Tsuyu has some sort of power over Katsuki no one else understands. As an only child he never stood a chance

People often notice how Katsuki starts only listening to Tsu. Kaminari asks him to get him a water bottle, Kats grunts at him to do it himself. But when Tsu asks for it? He's off his feet and gives it to her without a word. Not even a grunt or sign of complaint.

Tsuyu may be calm and soft spoken, which contrasts Katsuki in every way, but that's actually what makes them work.

She's one of the only people who can counter his angry insults without even getting annoyed or upset. She has this superpower and people start calling her the "Bakugou Whisperer"

If someone wants Katsuki to do something, they ask Tsuyu to ask him to do it, bc they know he only will if she's the one asking.

When they go out to the mall with the rest of their class, Tsuyu stays by Katsuki out of instinct. He usually walks a little farther away from the rest of the group but she stays close to him like she's watching over him.

When they pass by a toy store, Katsuki can't help but play with the toys on display, and when he does Tsuyu silently waits for him to finish before they continue walking. No one else does this, and it's like some sort of unwritten rule for the two of them.

Sometimes, when the group is talking loudly and don't hear Tsu speak at all, Katsuki makes use of his big booming voice to tell them to shut up and listen to her speak. Everyone immediately quiets down and Tsuyu gets the chance to actually be heard.

While Tsu absolutely can stand up for herself, especially around Katsuki, she has trouble doing so around strangers. So if she's too meek to speak up against someone who bumped into her or cut in front of her in a line, Katsuki's there to be her guard dog and tell that person off.

Katsuki can be vulnerable around her. I feel like that's the peak when it comes to his relationships--when he can trust them enough to see him be weak.

While he doesn't show it to the rest, Tsuyu can immediately tell when he's in an off mood. And she doesn't force him to talk about it if he's not comfortable. Instead she makes sure she accompanies him, even if they're not talking, just so he knows he's not alone. She doesn't realize how much this means to Katsuki.

It's the other way around for Katsuki. He also has a sixth sense when it comes to her emotions, so he can easily tell when she's not alright. But she tends to keep that to herself as to not bother others. However he makes sure she makes her feelings heard, even if it's just to him, and listens to her when she vents. As someone who's considered the "reliable older sister" of the group, she appreciates this greatly.

Tsuyu's siblings LOVE katsuki. They used to be pretty scared of him, they have seen him on TV during the sports fest after all, but after she brings him home for family dinner, they start to love him dearly. He becomes part of rhe family right away, even if Tsuyu's father doesn't like him immediately.

Tsuyu loves that Katsuki is so gentle with her siblings and even her mom, helping with dishes and homework, and even letting Satsuki climb up his back and piggy ride him.

Samidare is also a brooding edgy boy so he was skeptical at first, but then he grew to greatly admire Katsuki, even if he doesn't want to admit it.

Ok my phones running out of battery so I gotta end it here, but pls tell me which rarepair u want to see next!!

[haveyoulistenedtothisalbum-poll]

Tracklist:

40 Years Super Hot Body Ready for Party • Aries Taurus Gemini Cancer Leo Virgo Libra and Scorpio Sagittarius Capricorn Aquarius Pisces Fart Song • Butterflies Scared My Cat When I Was Burping in Your Face on Wednesday Morning • Drunk Log out with Spooky Music Settings on My Firm Tits Pictures • Grandpa Says Fuck While Grandma Screams What Repeated Several Times • Grumpy Trumpy Python Toddler Taxi with False News and Emotions • Hugging Blood Thirsty Vampires with a Transylvanian Accent and Slapped Butts • I Farted as an Official Statement Against Global Warming, Expressing My Worries! • I’m Handsome When Wearing a Bag on My Head, Said the Horny Motherfuckers Politely • Is That Cellulite or Just Your Ugly Face? • Kindergarten Farting Fanfare Discussed with Disgusting Asian Clay Warriors Terracotta Song • Leaking Ladies Xylophone Solo Learning with Lusty Lashes Song • Lisping on Penis Peyote Creaking Mirth Radio, Let’s Lisp! Song • Lowering My Filthy Boobs to the Height of Your Curly Chest Hair with Freckles • Mom’s Cleaning Closet Looks Like a Women’s Porn Stash • My Gay Expense Combination Password Gore Seeking Battle Was Sinning • My Hangover Got Hung over by a Hung Guy from Hungary • My Horoscope Sign Is Poop and Yours Is Farts • Nearly Touching Myself with Your Girlfriend’s Hands While Doing the Dishes • Peeing a Farting Swearing Shouting and Pooping in Different Languages Made Me Famous Song • Petite Girls Liked My Fat Farts in Skinny Jeans with Justice • Pooping a Masterpiece in the Little Boys Room on National TV Broadcast • Puerto Del Penis Summer Holiday with Topless Sun Bathing and Surfing Fun • Puking Girls Are Holding Each Others Hair While Selling Butter to Pregnant Vomiting Men • Real Sharks Was a Great Accessory for My Swimming Pool Party Massacre • Relaxing Music for Penis Boys and Vagina Girls, I Have Money Cash, Yes! • Rescuing My Penis from Your Vagina at the Last Minute, Whoah! • Scary Music and Naked Ladies Cemetery Collection Flickering Through Growth • Shaking Sausages in the Men’s Room and Dangling Coconuts • Short Temper Anus Removal with Lipstick on the Collar • Shouting Poopers to Girls While a Crying Man Is Pooping Poop, How Adorable Screaming Babies Are! • Silly Talking Childish Macho Man Thanking Prayers for God’s Food Yes Hello! • Skinny Bitch, Fat Bitch, Rich Bitch, Poor Bitch, All Bitches Poop! • Smelling That Pussy in the Air at the Private Night Club Farting Room • Smudging Chocolate over the Toilet, So Everyone Would Think I Pooped • Sneaking Beans into Your Butthole While U Talk to a Handsome Stranger • Snuggling in Satan’s Satin Sheets with Shattered Dreams and No Boner Song • Solitary Fighting My Big Toe with the Desolate Strangler • Spoiling Desert by Pulling Your Finger Thirteen Times in a Row • Strolling with Morning Wood in the Woods While Mourning to This Song • Stutter and Chinese Food Destroyed My Artwork in the Toilet Bowl Coffee Shop • Sunny Morning Boner at the Beach Gym Towel Rental Song • Surprisingly Soft Boobs on the Milf Statue in the Garden of Jugs, Oh It Was Your Mom Sorry! •

Taming My Daughter’s Boyfriend with Booze and Fists of Agony • Teleporting My Cock to the Urinals Hurts When Peeing Penis Action • That Penis Is Not Mine, Stop Accusing Me of Curing Your Cancer! What • The Brothel Cup Cake Dispenser Had a Variety of Chocolate Brownies Too • The Giggling Killer Was Invited for Tea and Mustard with a Former Laughing Idiot • The Headache Fuckers with Migraine Were Chopping Fucking Painkillers • The Itchy Vampire Vagina Was a Gothic Curse from Medieval Times Song • The Lying Bitch Hermit Ducking Group Was Insisting on Bitch Slaps • The Penis Teens Shouting Squad Declared War on the Vagina Milfs Departure • The Pussy Cock Was Meowing and Cock-a-Doodle-Dooing with Glance • The Singing Orgy Group Remembered My Fancy Birthday Party, Super! • The Sock on My Penis Shook the Genuine Spokesman While Crying Song • The Syphilis Motown Singers Were Blowing Deranged Adultery at Me Song • The Toy Collector’s Mature Attitude Otter Raised Homeland Security Breach • The Triangle of Pussy and Clipping Smoothies Burping Smootch • Typical Asian Food Poured into the Purse of an European Hooker Prostitute Igloo • Under Water Farting Wiz Nick Y Minaj Naked Twerking Shower Saloon Barf Thong • Updating My Profile Picture While Pooping Macaroni with Japanese Subtitles • Using Mother´s Panther Underwear Because of Broken Shopping Bag to the Store • Washing Hamburgers with Dirty Sauce in Leather Pants While Howling • What Ugly Shit on Your Finger! Oh, It’s Your Wedding Ring? It’s Very Nice! • Whistling and Farting a Heavenly Polyphonic Song for Dying Virgins • Violin Licking Sounds by a Hard Baritone Dick Song Licker • Young Girls Selling Old Men´s Boxers in Thongs with Soulful Tutti-Frutti • Your Butthole Swallowed My Telephone, Will It Come out from the Mouth Then? • Your Mom´s Butt Massage Seems Innocent at First, Before Handing out Religious Leaflets

Spotify ♪ Youtube

[marigoldbaker]

8, 12, 18 for Thea?

8. if either, are they part of the astarion/gale book club (magic & literature) or the wyll/shadowheart book club (trashy romance novels)?

trashy romance novel hands down. thea has lived 870 trashy romance novels in her centuries of being an action hero heartbreaker battle cleric. she has soooo many exes and all of them hate her. she will not ADMIT she reads the books but she does loveeee a good saucy romance novel. reminds her of her youth.

12. their companions are gossiping about them behind their back! who is it and what are they saying?

UM LOL this is for real gonna happen in canon. it is hard not to gossip about a woman who is [REDACTED FOR SPOILERS] vis a vis high harper jaheira, hero of baldur's gate, and Did Not Mention This To Literally Anyone in the multiple weeks u guys were traveling together. karlach in particular is even closer than usual to combusting. (marigold did your mom fuck the high harper. marigold. MARIGOL D)

18. what modern day tv show would they binge over a weekend? do they get their LI to watch with them?

so i don't think thea watches tv shows i think thea does that hyperspecific indecipherable dad thing where she just sits in front of the tv watching woodworking and metalworking videos on youtube and bitching about how she could do it better. she does make jaheira sit with her through this sometimes and the literal entire time jaheira is like this is pointless. can i please leave. and thea is like NO he used the CHEAPEST WOOD POSSIBLE and he's cutting it with a SHIT IMPLEMENT and he's relying on his viewers to NOT KNOW THAT.

that or she will binge whatever one of her daughters is binging. i think that family gets really into bridgerton for like completely different reasons across the board. ros obvs loves the romance, marigold is a hardcore penelope featherington stan and is watching only and exclusively for that reason, lenora loves the opportunity to be a #hater and talk shit about how terrible the show is and get attacked by her sisters. thea liked queen charlotte better but hasn't figured out how to communicate that to her kids yet

[snoople-boop]

Summoning Ritual Gone Wrong (The Walten Files)

This was requested by TheGrimRead3r on A03. If you want to request me anything let me know (keep your fetisheize to yourself and don't request me any weird shit. Your gonna get blocked if you do)

__________________________________

As the ghosts sat bored they were sitting at Bon's Burgers for the past 10 years. They were starting to feel bored as they saw Molly approach the group with an Ouigi Board in her hand. Molly said to the group "Hey guys! Look what I found!" Everyone looked at the board they noticed the paper on it said "Totally fake Ouigi board." Everyone laughed and looked excited knowing this would provide some sort of entertainment. Charles grabbed the Ouigi Board from Molly and inspected it for a moment, before shrugging with a laugh. Susan spoke up with her hand gestures and said "Wh-" which was then interrupted by the rest of the group who also joined in. They all seemed excited by the fact they were going to use an Ouigi Board. Everyone sat in a circle in front of the board and waited patiently.

Molly looked down at the Ouigi Board and spoke out. "Whatever is here with us can you hear us?" The room was silent, the only sound was the occasional chatter from everyone. Everyone waited with anticipation to see if they'd get a response, the silence hung in the air. 

Y-e-s

Everyone jumped with excitement at the response they just received. For the first time in several years, they had made contact! Molly smiled wide, "Well hello there! What's your name? Do you have something you want to say to us?"

H-e-y g-u-y-s i-t-'s m-e R-a-t-s-o

The Ouigi board started to glow and Sophie appeared out of nowhere 

"Where the fuck am I"

Rosemary was in shock as she saw her daughter standing there, not expecting to see her anytime soon. Ed and Molly looked at each other in confusion and surprise. Charles and Susan looked at Sophie in shock, they couldn't believe who they summoned. Ashley was the first to speak up and said "Whoa, I wasn't expecting us to actually summon a person... Let alone a specific one!" "Wh- how- Ed? Molly? Mom?!" Sophie said as she was confused, Rosemary looked at her daughter in shock and said, "Sophie?! How are you here? We didn't mean to summon you!" Ed and Molly also looked at their sister in shock as they also said "Sophie?! How are you here?!" Charles and Susan stood there in silence, watching the family reunion in front of them with surprise.

"I found two tapes where we locked Felix" Brain said as he entered the dining area with two tapes and dropped them on the table, everyone looked towards Brian and looked at the tapes on the table. Rosemary spoke up and said "tapes? What are those?" Molly and Ed also looked confused and asked, "tapes? What's in them?" The entire group was curious as to what could be on those tapes. Charles looked at them for a moment before asking, "What's on those tapes? And why are they important?" "They look like the introductory tapes from BSI" Sophie said then popped the first one in

Sophie picked up the first tape and popped it into the player. Everyone was silent and waited patiently for something to happen. After a moment everyone saw the TV screen light up as it began playing, everyone watched in anticipation of what they witnessed on the screen

"Bein davida la pasinta de présentes na westro Fabolous- 

Ahem

Hello, and welcome to your introductory tape at fre- BSI, which stands for Booty Stink Incorporation-"

The TV was turned off

.....

"What the fu-"

Sophie was in shock as she watched the tape and listened to the dialogue, she quickly reached for the remote and turned off the TV. Everyone looked at her in shock as they were not sure why she turned it off. Charles spoke up "Whoa, didn't even get to hear the whole tape!" Ed nodded in agreement, "Yeah, why did you turn it off?" Molly was also curious about what the other tape was and looked over at the other one. "What about the other one? What does that tape say?" Rosemary asked, curious about what else was on them. Everyone looked at the other tape in anticipation. Sophie put in the tape and skipped it due to it being long until she saw the K-9 facility with Sha in it, "turn on the lights, turn on the lights, turn on the- hello, and welcome to your new job as the K-9 Facility caretaker-" she skipped a little bit 

"Can you tell that I don't know what the fuck to talk about for this scene, this is the corner. This is where all the bad people go if you remember correctly! This is where the bad boys go, this is where the bad girls go, and this is where the onlyfans-"

She turned it off again 

Everyone was shocked what what they heard during the second tape. After a moment of silence, Rosemary finally spoke up. "What was that? What was all that?" Charles and Susan looked at each other and shrugged, they looked just as confused. Ed and Molly looked at the tapes in shock and confusion. Charles finally said, "I think we're missing some context here." As they all sat in bewilderment about what they had just witnessed. Ed picked up one of the tapes and asked "Where did you even find these in the first place?" Molly nodded in agreement and said "Yeah, how were you able to find those?" Everyone looked at Brian in anticipation, hoping for an explanation.

"In the office where we locked Felix" everyone listened to what Brian said and was now even more intrigued. Charles spoke up, "You mean you found these tapes inside the office?" Molly leaned forward and said, "Yeah, how could these tapes have been left behind?" Susan also agreed, "Yeah! Doesn't it make no sense?" Everyone looked at Brian for answers. 

Sophie had walked away unnoticed while the group was busy discussing the tapes, she quietly exited the room and started to explore Bon's Burgers. As she looked around she felt a sense of familiarity, it seemed kind of familiar but different. As she walked around and saw the restaurant for herself, she couldn't help but feel a sense of nostalgia as she remembered her time working at the previous location but everything was slightly different here. She continued to look around the restaurant while keeping an eye on the group back at the table. As she continued to explore the restaurant, she noticed many similarities between the old and new locations, including the animatronics that still sat and stood on the stage. As she continued to walk, she found herself standing in front of the stage in front of the animatronics. Sha looked at Sophie with a menace empty for a couple seconds "you guys wanna hear my Walten Files creepypasta, here we go. Sha looked at the video with the realistic blood on her- on her- realistic blood on her-" Sha started to have a seizure 

Sophie stood there shocked as she witnessed Sha's bizarre behavior. The animatronic began to glitch and spasm while talking, the lights around her flashing with the sound of static. Sophie watched in horror as Sha continued to glitch and talk, her voice glitching with static, it sounded like two people were talking at the same time. Sha's head kept bobbing left and right as she continued to spasm and twitch. "Guys Sha is twitching..." No one cared Sophie stood there in horror as she heard everyone ignore the obvious glitch and behavior Sha was exhibiting. She looked back at the group in bewilderment and confusion as to how nonchalantly they were reacting to a glitching and glitching animatronic. As she continued to watch in disbelief, Sha continued to glitch. Her body kept twitching and moving in unnatural ways, the static in her audio grew louder and more distorted. Sophie was at a loss, it was as though the group didn't care or they didn't notice.

After backing away from the erratic and glitching animatronic, Sophie found herself in a small hallway. The hallway was dim with a few lights flickered and the sound of static filled the air. The only sound that could be heard was the echoes of her own footsteps and the low hum of the static. Sophie turned her head back to the group to see Brain standing on a stack of chairs that can reach the ceiling "oh god, Brian no!" Charles said as Brian looked proud at what he was doing "Brain you're gonna fall, and you- and you're gonna die" Susan said as she pinched the bridge of her nose "fuck you I'm god" 

She turned away from the group and was startled by the sudden sound of the crashing chairs and the commotion in the distance. She turned to see what was happening and saw Brian on the floor holding his head and several broken chairs around him, she couldn't help but cringe at the sight of the chair in Brian's back. She saw Susan and Charles also cringing. Molly quickly rushed over and helped Brian, checking if he was ok. 

She turned back into the hallway and kept looking around, Sophie approached a door and saw a sign on it that read "Felix Kraken Office". As she looked at the door, she hesitated for a moment before slowly reaching for the knob. She was filled with anticipation and curiosity about what she might find inside the office, but unsure of what to expect. 

She felt uneasy because of what she witnessed at Bunnyfarm, she hoped Jenny was ok. As Sophie slowly opened the door to Felix's office, she was shocked to see what was before her. The room was filled with sticky notes stuck to the walls and floor, each piece of paper had the words "static did your mother" written on each of them. It was a disturbing sight, and she didn't think she could go any further. "What the hell...?" She walked around the office and saw a drawer then opened it to only find a single sticky note "sadly... He died" she immediately shut the drawer and turned her attention to a phone on her left, the same phone she remembered from when she was a child. She stared at the phone with a sense of nostalgia and confusion, unable to understand why it was there. It has at least 26 messages and the ones that gave her attention were the first one and the last one. She picked up the phone and listened to the recording when she got to the fist message 

"Yeah I need you to do a quick favor. Uh my two- my two little shits over here uh... Yeah I don't give a shit- look I need these two little fuckers over at their party and stop bitching at me about it. I just want to sleep- yes I fucking completely mean my children. I just wanna get one good night sleep and these fuckers won't let me have it! Can you- can you do this favor for me? I have to take over time again. Thanks man your a fucking life saver. In return I won't do your mum"

As Sophie listened to the messages on the phone, she was taken aback when she heard her father's voice coming out of it. She couldn't believe what she was hearing, the language and tone he used towards her and her siblings was shocking. "What the hell..." She muttered to herself as she continued to listen to the messages. The last message was clearly about the crash... She decided to listen to it

"Felix pick up the damn phone, ok. Listen to me! I didn't get a fucking invitation to the Fortnite dance! Not only that, I didn't even get to see my kids again! They were supposed to bring home SLURP JUICE and CHUG JUGS all around for me and my family to DRINK. YOU DIDN'T EVEN DO DAT! Not only that, but you didn't pick up the fucking phone! What's wrong with you!? Are you BRAINDEAD?! All I wanted was a CHUG JUG! THAT WAS LITERALLY ALL I WANTED AND YOU COULDN'T EVEN BRING ME THAT!"

Sophie couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her father's voice was filled with anger and desperation, she could feel the pain and frustration in his voice as he yelled about the lack of Slurp juice and Chug Jugs... whatever the hell they are. It was clear that he was deeply affected by not being able to see his kids and being invited to the dance. Sophie felt a mixture of sadness and confusion as she listened to the message. She didn't know what to think or say. She turned to her right and jumped when she saw Felix just sitting there "U- Uncle Felix?" Felix didn't say anything for a couple of seconds as she was worried 

"Welcome to my sex dungeon, not many girls come in here cause I get friendzoned so frequently but that's ok. As you can see I have a gaming- a gaming area, and a sex machine right here" Felix pointed at his crouch "this is the onlyfans area, I hate my life I wanna fucking go drink bleach. I've given up all on hope, I'm running off of nothing but water and bread! They don't give me burgers anymore! I'm locked in here-"

Sophie was completely overwhelmed by what just happened. She stood there in shock, her heart pounding in her chest. She heard Felix's voice coming from inside the room, it was a mix of frustration, despair, and vulgarity. As soon as she could process, she slammed the door shut and blocked it with random chairs from the hallway. Her mind raced with a mixture of fear, confusion, and discomfort. She felt as if someone was watching her, she turned around and saw "Bon" standing behind her "I li ke y our c ut g-" Sophie hit him with a chair as the barrier came down and she ran out of the burger joint, the door slowly opening revealing the sticky notes covered office again "w hat th e fu-"

****

Sophie ran into the forest trying to run away from "Bon", trying to put as much distance between her and Bon as possible. The trees and undergrowth whipped past her as she ran, the sound of her own ragged breathing and the crunch of fallen leaves under her feet were the only sounds that filled her ears. Despite the adrenaline rushing through her veins, she stumbled occasionally on the uneven forest floor. Roots and shrubs seemed to grab at her ankles, but she pushed on, driven by fear and determination. Every loud snap of a twig behind her sent a chill down her spine, leaving her questioning whether "Bon" was closing in. As she ran, Sophie realized that her lack of physical fitness was taking its toll. The burning in her lungs and the sharp cramps in her sides threatened to slow her down, but she refused to give in to the exhaustion. The image of Bon's ominous form kept her moving, even as her legs grew weak. Suddenly, a loud crack sounded behind her. It seemed like "Bon" was gaining on her. Fear gripped her heart, squeezing it tightly as she forced herself to run even faster. The forest was a blur of green and brown around her, the sounds of her frantic breathing and footsteps becoming a panicked rhythm. 

"Yo yo yo, wa nna he ar my dis strac k! Ca rro ts-" Sophie threw a branch at "Bon" then ran away even more, ignoring the branches snagging at her clothes and hair. The sound of her own painting and the ground beneath her feet filled her senses, drowning out all other noise. The forest seemed to stretch on endlessly, and the shadows played tricks on her eyes. Every movement in her peripheral vision made her heart race, every leaf rustling or stick snapping sending her senses into overdrive, but there was no sign of "Bon". Sophie was alone. Sophie finally stopped running and leaned against a tree, her chest heaving with each frantic breath. She scanned the surroundings, scanning the shadows and the foliage, but there was no sign of the animatronic rabbit. The forest seemed calm and undisturbed, as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. "Bon" was in front of her as she jumped and backed away "Hell o, we lcom e to my mo b spa wn er. I ne ed yo ur XP. Th is isn 't an SMP th is my- I tri cke d you, no w yo ur gon na s t ay he re I'm g on na far m yo ur XP. No w li ste n, I do n't wan na hur t y ou- w ait ho ld on my m um's cal ling me for di nn er be rig ht b ack se e ya" then "Bon" disappeared 

....

"Where the fuck did he go"

***

Brian was on the office computer as Felix was tied up to the left, Susan walked in and saw the screen "I typed in sp- no one wants to see that"

Susan looked like she wanted to murder Brian

"Why is- wh- what did I miss on- fucking- In a span of under a minute you went on to- is that Reggie- is that Reggie-"

Susan couldn't believe her eyes as she entered the office and saw what Brian was doing on the computer. Her shock turned to disbelief and disgust as she realized the content on the screen. She struggled to form words, caught off guard by the absurd scene. Meanwhile, Felix was tied up on the floor, looking confused and slightly annoyed by the situation. 

Ed and Molly quietly played Monopoly together with Banny, who sat motionless, its lifeless eyes staring off into the distance. It was an eerie sight, and the silence in the room only made it more unsettling. The game progressed, with Ed and Molly occasionally glancing at Banny, as if trying to ignore its presence. Despite the discomfort, Ed and Molly continued to play Monopoly, attempting to find some semblance of normalcy in the strange situation. The room was filled with an air of unease, the only sounds being the movement of game pieces and the occasional roll of the dice. As Molly gently pushed the board towards Banny, the room grew eerily quiet, broken only by the sound of the board pieces clattering softly on the table "Molly, you know Banny is not alive right?"

....

"Me looking for who the fuck asked, me looking for who the fuck asked, me lo- me lo- me lo- me look- me lo- me looking for who the fuck asked- me lo- me lo-" Banny started to glitch out then fell on the floor. Sophie entered the room, observing Ed and Molly as they continued playing Monopoly. Her eyes widened slightly at the sight of Banny glitching out on the floor, the room filled with an eerie energy. She approached the scene, the silence in the room making her steps seem amplified. "Hey kid, guess what?" Boozoo said as his eyes turned to Sophie, she pointed to herself in confusion "I want your liver. Now there's only one way to give- give me your liver" Sophie was even more confused as Ed and Molly were not listening to what was going on "I've heard many stories of you and you personally, I've heard you fucked your mother. Is this true?" Sophie had no idea what was happening at this point, she saw Banny move her head and looked at Boozoo "fun fact! Shut the fuck up" Sophie stood there in shock, utterly dumbfounded by the bizarre turn of events. She was taken aback by Boozoo's unexpected greeting, and completely blindsided by the mention of her personal life. Her confusion grew as Banny suddenly piped up from the floor, telling Boozoo to shut up. "let's play a game!" Boozoo said as Sophie was confused "what kind of game?" 

"Spot the difference!" She then looked at the animatronic as Molly was getting the game and setting it up on the table "you wanna know the difference about my life I have no parents" 

...

"poggers"

Sophie was overwhelmed by the rapid-fire game of Spot the Difference being thrust upon her. Despite her best efforts, she struggled to correctly identify the differences between the cards, each wrong answer eliciting a scathing response from Boozoo. With each passing round, Sophie began to feel more inadequate, her confidence fading with each failed attempt. The pressure to perform built with each insult thrown her way, her hands shaking as she picked up the cards. "You are brain dead!" You dumbass", She finally got a couple right "congratulations, you get a prize!" Sophie's eyes lit up "A one night stand with David Hasselhoff!" Boozoo then grabbed a plushie and set it on the table which led to Sophie being disappointed "that's not David Hasselhoff" Sophie's excitement quickly faded as Boozoo revealed her "prize" - a plushie instead of the promised one-night stand with David Hasselhoff. The disappointment was evident on her face, the plushie a stark reminder of the bait-and-switch that had just occurred. Despite the disappointment, Sophie hesitantly reached for the plushie, her hands wrapping around the soft fabric. She looked at Boozoo, expecting some sort of explanation for the joke, but there was none forthcoming. Sophie couldn't help but feel like an idiot because of it. As she held the plushie, Sophie forced a nervous laugh, trying to hide the embarrassment bubbling inside her. She tried to maintain her composure, but the disappointment gnawed at her, making her question whether she had been stupid enough to fall for such a childish prank. 

****

Brian and Felix stood in front of the computer in the office, their attention focused on the screen. Brian pointed to something on the screen, his voice filled with awe, "Look at him, look at him-"

But before he could finish his sentence, Felix cut him off with a surprising statement, "I wanna fuck the rat." Brian's eyes widened, taken aback by the abrupt change in conversation. He glanced at Felix, uncertainty crossing his face. "What the hell-"

But before he could say anything further, Ed and Molly walked into the office. Their timing could not have been more awkward, as they stood there, completely oblivious to the strange conversation happening before them. Brian's gaze darted between Ed and Molly, then back at Felix. He tried to casually divert their attention to something besides their previous topic. "Uhh, we were just researching... uh... stuff."

Ed and Molly looked at him, clearly confused by the shift in subject, but they shrugged it off, the room fell quiet for a moment, but the atmosphere was filled with an awkwardness that lingered in the air. Brian and Felix exchanged furtive glances, each silently hoping that Ed and Molly hadn't overheard their previous conversation about the rat. 

Brian and Felix were startled by the sudden presence of Billy in the room. Their confusion deepened when they heard him utter dumbass phrases, like "Opuco la caca" and "I will gangnam style on your grave." They looked at each other, uncertainty flashing in their eyes.

****

Sophie was looking at the founders poster which read: "I.. I.. clogged all the toilets I'm sorry! DO NOT GO INTO THE BATHROOM!"

She then walked into the dining room and saw Brian with blow duster and dropped all of them on the floor only to grab one and spray it on his arm "the straw went out, the straw went out of the fucking thing. Look at this shit!" The straw disconnected from the duster and Sophie grabbed one and examined it "yo is this a throwback?"Ashley said as she recalled accidentally spraying Brain with the duster by accident 

"Bon" appeared out of nowhere and Sophie was done with him "Y ou gu ys ar e fu ckin g m illen ni als-" then Sophie sprayed him in the face and he dies

Brain Stells went to Bronycon and asked for his ticket, he searched for it in his pocket and was not there. Instead he pulled out a pokémon card

[dearwriting]

Abigail's pancakes

Just breathe, it’s fine, everything’s going to be Just fine.

 Maybe I’ll just throw it out. Yeah, Yup that’s what I’ll do. Throw it out. The Garbage truck will pass by later and they’ll deal with it. And all those memories will be out of my life for good.

“MOM!” “The pancakes are burning!” I turn around quickly, to see my 6 year old daughter, almost 7 in a few months,  Abigail. Gosh, they grow up so fast, Don’t they? “Umm. The pancakes”?

 “Oh shit”

 I grab the hot pan and throw it into the sink. Welp, there goes breakfast. So much for mother of the year. Opening the pantry, I see a box of brown sugar pop tarts and hand it to Abby. “Here, Just eat this fast and get dressed. Or we’re going to be late for soccer practice.”

“I’m already dressed.”

“Ok, then let’s get going.”

“ Get 50% off on your next purchase. Older online or in Stores!!! Sale ends Soon!!!”

My body jolts up. U know what they say when u get older your body starts to feel like u just got hit by a truck. I rub one of my hands on my face. Oh great, I forgot I was wearing mascara. Now I’m going to look like a raccoon.

After turning off the TV, I go to reach for my phone in my pocket. I must’ve misplaced it. I walk to the cabinet and pour myself a glass of water. Damn, that must have been one good nap, if I’m this thirsty. I put the glass into the sink and see the pan from earlier.

Then it hits me. I forgot to throw it out. Maybe this is a sign, I should just keep it. Maybe It’s time I look through it. No. But it’s like my body is on autopilot and it leads me upstairs to the hallway closet. I reach for the light, Damn, I make a mental note that I have to get  new light bulbs, these are fading. 

In the corner, I see it, the chest,  and in some way it reminds me of why I tucked it away all those years ago. Fuck it, now or never, Just breathe. I reach for it and lay it down at my feet. I get down on my knees because if I keep standing, my legs will give out.

 I brush my hands against the brown leather straps that have slowly faded throughout time. I pull at the golden latch and I hear the click and I just can’t do it. I look up and start praying to that stupid ugly, yellow colored lightbulb. So much for 50% off.

I open it and look down into it and then I see a picture of my little Abigail, who was 6 almost 7 years, sitting on the couch, eating her pancakes, smiling back at me.

All I hear is silence now. Wait, no. There’s beeping. I see the smoke. I lift my head up, I can feel something warm dripping down my face, I reach my hand up and see its blood. I look up at the car mirror and I see her. She looks like she’s sleeping. Did practice tire her out? 

“MISS! U ALRIGHT!” a man shouts. Why is he so loud? My head is spinning. He better not wake Abby up, she seems tired.

“Don’t worry Miss. Help is on the way.”

Help. It never came fast enough. Abby stayed asleep. It’s been 10 years now.  My therapist says that I should try to move on and keep her memory alive. But how? I’ll tell you how. I wrap a photo of my happiest memory of her in her baby blue blanket and tucked her away.

And then I just breathe. It's fine. Everything’s going to be just fine.

[ashstar1111]

babysitting storytime?? not a good one tho lol

its kinda long so be aware. also, sorry for any spelling/grammer mistakes, english isnt my first language.

ok so BACKROUND: theres this couple + two daughters (7 and 5 y/o) who lives two floors below me & my family, and both the parents had to work and they needed someonw to watch their girls from 8am to almost 5pm (so about 9h). 

Usually my little sis babysits for them but she had plans + she didnt feel like shes ready to babysit for so long (its the first family shes babysitting for), so she offered me the job. and me, being me, took it without thinking twice (spoiler alart, BIG MISTAKE).

so i wake up in the morning and i feel really ill, i almost threw up a few times and my stomach really hurts, but i dont have much time to worry about it so i suck it up like a big kid, drink my coffe, take the dog for a walk, come home, finish my coffe, and go to their house. 

so, get to these girls apartment at 8am sharp, and everything is fine for the first few hours, they’re snacking some chips and drinking WAY to much chocolate milk, as well as watching wired youtubes on the tv, they were honestly very well behaved at the begining tbh, so i just let them be. 

at like 11:30am they started being hungry and they asked me for some fruites, so i was like “okay :)” and went to cut some fruites and stuff for them. i cut them a peach and washed them two different types of grapes, put it all on a plate and brought it to them.

then, they said they want corn schnitzel and i was like, “okay, well you can eat the fruites while i make u some” and went to the kitchen. what i didnt know was that they were starting to play with the fruits instead of eating them, so i came back to find the grapes, still uneaten, but covered in green liquid sope (???), and one (1) pice of peach was eaten. thats it. no girls.

at this point its about 12:45pm and they’re not in the living room where i left them. why? because APPARENTALLY, they decided that braking into their parents room (which was locked, btw, dont ask me how tf they got in) to steal some Mentos, was the best thing to do after murdering fruites.

i caught them right before they found the Mentos, and brought them to the dining table to eat the schnitzel they asked for. after they ate they decided to play a game called “trying to get into mom and dad’s room to steal stuff”, and i had to literally STAND AND GAURD THE DOOR TO MAKE SURE THEY WERENT STEALING SHIT. 

then, as they relized that I was the main problem, they decided to start trowing things at me. moestly shoes and crayons and markers and dolls. i asked them to stop multipul times and tryed to talk to them like big girls, until they decided to take it one step forwared, and throw a PAIR OF SCISSURES directly at me. 

it didnt hit me bc i moved, and then i yelled at them that they’re not supposed to be throwing sharp stuff like that, especially not at people. they didnt give TWO SHITS, and their way of showing me that was to throw the scissures at me AGAIN.

at that point i kinda gave up, maybe bc i was tired, maybe bc i was feeling kinda ill, maybe bc i was hungry, or maybe bc ive had enough stuff thrown at me a this point. fuck knows, the point is, i fucking had it.

i got away from the door and yelled at them that i hope they treat the next babysitter to watch them better than that (bc FUCK IT im not going back in there, especially not for enother 9 fucking houres.) and that ill be telling their mom everything. 

they obviusly were like “yeah we dont really care”. and when im telling u i was so close to snapping, i mean i was SO FUCKING CLOSE. so, i did what every reasonable adult would have done, and i sat on the couch in the living room and had a silent meltdown while the girls i was supposed to be watching were stealing cendy from their parents :).

after about 15 muinets (so it was about 2pm) of silently crying, they came to apologize to me, but i was so fucking angry (i still am and its 10pm) that all i did was telling them that i dont want their apology, and again, that i hope they would treat the next babysitter better, and then i got up and went to the kitchen floor to text heir mom.

long story short: their mom called me and scolded them that it wasnt ok and shit, but im still angry (both that they think they have the right to throw a pair of scissures at me, and that they actually made me scared. the rest of the babysitting they behaved and shit so i hid in the bathroom, bc i was shaking (im still a bit shaky for some reason) and honestly i didnt feel like i could face them).

[takasuya]

my mom woke up being affectionate to me (or tried to idk) and then she opened the fridge saw my coffee beans in a bag and started from there to THERES SO MUCH SHIT IN THE FRIDGE U ALL DONT CLEAN AND THROW SHIT AWAY AND IT KEEPS PILING UP bcus thats what. people who live in a hse do… use the fridge and put food in it

i said abt a TV show that the mom was in the wrong for throwing her daughters drink and shdve at least asked and the mom is always saying shit to hurt the daughter and my mom was like “ya she shd know the daughter is sensitive” when i know if i said it to her she’d lose her shit and now im like oh is it cause i criticised the way u are indirectly? hm? “sensitive” are we? lmao fuck man

[sabertoothwalrus]

i had ANOTHER dream abt miraculous ladybug and this ones a LONG one. it didnt have your artstyle but time paris DID have lovely architecture such as: the bigass hollow tree stumps in breath of the wild, u know the ones big enough to fit a shrine and a half. anyway, the final battle is Happening, people get to wonder if hawkmoth is gonna bite the dust in real time bc its being televised. this is all taking place smth like 3 yrs in the future from season 4 of the show. so theyre like uhhhh Older Teens and certifiably Tired Of All This Shit. so! at the bottom of one of those tree stumps, cat noir’s identity is going to be revealed! oh no!! hes in a #crisis of the soul mostly bc getting revealed would be Bad but also he doesnt feel like hes helping ladybug anymore. he doesnt feel trusted. a classic tale of the villain manipulating a traumatized teen. and ladybug (looking out over a roof and yelling at the top of her lungs) is like “ABSOLUTELY NOT YOU LEAVE MY PARTNER ALONE.” and bribes hawkmoth away by dangling her own secret identity in front of him like a worm on a hook. it works a little too well. her identity gets revealed! cat noir is safe but in the shuffle hes lost his miraculous and marinette picks it up. shes got both and puts them on. tikki and plagg are like “MARINETTE ITS SO DANGEROUS TO WEAR BOTH AT THE SAME TIME” and shes like “im going to punch hawkmoth in the face” and off she goes.

cat noir is nowhere to be found bc now hes adrian! and she doesnt know that! but he knows shes marinette! drama! so now ladybug is re transformed (without activating the black cat miraculous) and is whaling on hawkmoth. she crashes thru my house which is definitely not in paris and tells me and my sibs we have to get out NOW so we book it and its at this point the dream reveals to me that mylene’s mom is chinese and i sit there like Now Hold On A Minute and my mom says “i told u so!” and i tell her “you dont even watch the show???” mylene was wearing a green cheongsam. i don’t tend to ask questions. also by this point i made a mental note to tell u abt this bc it only gets more batshit.

ladybug told us (and everyone that was running away which was a lot of ppl) that if they find cat noir they shld tell him that ladybug loves him. then she has this Stellar idea. she finds nadja chamack and her camera (bc theres only two newspeople in all of paris and one of them runs reality tv) and is like “hi i need to get a message out to cat noir.” when the camera is situated on her (mind u ms chamack is VERY aware that this is her daughters babysitter and is currently holding hawkmoth in a chokehold) she says “im sorry cat noir. you believed in me and trusted me since day one and i couldnt extend you the same courtesy. i was wrong. there is no one else who can wield the black cat miraculous, no one else i would trust with the power of destruction. meet me at our normal rendezvous point so i can give back what is yours.” its all very heartfelt but undercut by the fact that hawkmoth’s bitch ass is shouting explicatives next to her. the fight resumes. she gets slammed into a wall á la every anime fight ever and manages to hide before getting to the roof where she’s waiting for cat noir. shes in a right amount of pain and tikki is running her mouth abt danger and injuries etc. marinette Will Not Move until cat noir shows up. and he does! adrian arrives! when marinette sees him she starts laughing and crying. adrian is rightfully confused. is this a good thing? is this a bad thing? did she hit her head? (yes to all 3.) marinette says “i have been in love with you since 10th grade.” (were they in 10th grade? i do not know.) adrian says “and ive been busy being in love with ladybug.” and then she apologizes again, gives him the ring back, they hug, kick ass and meet up in her room.

if it feels like we’re going rlly fast now its bc we are. the dream was pretty much a montage at this point. hawkmoth is arrested, the world knows who ladybug is, adrian is an orphan, nathalie is still sick, and marinettes parents r thinking that their kid has nearly died MULTIPLE TIMES and they never knew. also luka is under that bridge going “oh fuck.” marinette is in her room trying to explain what will happen next to alya and nino. alya says “i had to tell nino”and marinette says “i am beyond the point of anger. but whatever.” cat noir falls thru her sunroof and they hug (again, there was so much hugging in this dream to make up for the complete lack of hugging in the actual show) and alya + nino are like “uhhh awkward.” the last convo i don’t have quotes for bc at this point my alarm was ringing but it was something abt how marinette cant be ladybug or hold the miracle box and she wld want alya to be the holder but NINO knows and nino Cant Know. but cat noir doesnt want marinette to lose her memories! but People Know. the conclusion was they have to talk to chloe abt how to navigate paparazzi. this is my chloe-and-marinette-could-be-friends agenda. ok i think thats EVERYTHING. if u read all that godspeed, drink water. OH. FINAL THOUGHT. ADRIAN HAD LONG BEAUTIFUL HAIR WHICH IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ALL OF THIS. he had model-brand stubble and sharper teeth than he should.

sometimes I’m peeved that tumblr increased the character limit for asks to be higher than 500 characters, and other times I get

1k word asks about miraculous ladybug dreams, and I think that’s beautiful

I do unironically love the part about Chloe helping Marinette navigate paparazzi, rip to her canon character development

[shorkbrian]

i’m sorry but i luv your writing/thot process so i have to share this: imagine superstar trainer kiri marrying ur mom. he’s only a few years older (and you had a crush on him first) so you avoid him bc you’re shy/uncomfortable with it. your plans are foiled when mom’s away and y’all are stuck at home during a snow storm, power out, no heat/gas, and no matter how many layers u use nothing beats body heat. kiri is so sweet and just wants to get close and keep you warm/see whats under ur sweats

I’m literally melting rn 

Like imagine Kiri shuffling closer to you on the couch, scooting underneath the blankets you have piled around your body.

He keeps getting closer and closer and closer until he’s pressed up against you, and he feels like a heater, warm and cozy and comfortable. You don’t mind burrowing down into his side a bit, only blushing a little when the big man chuckles at your behavior.

There’s a movie playing on the TV, but you’re kind of sleepy, and your stepdad feels so sturdy and safe against your side, and you’re finally warming to a comfortable temperature, and before you know it, you’re fast asleep.

When you wake up, you’re laying down on a solid surface, heat wrapped around your body and trapped beneath the blankets. The surface rumbles and shifts, and only then do you realize that Kirishima must have moved you.

The room is dark, TV off, lights out. The wind is still howling and moaning outside like a mourner at a grave, beating against the windows and crying to the sky.

Lifting your head means you get a view of Kiri’s face, of his handsome, relaxed self as he gazes down at you, a pleased, soft smile on his features.

You go to apologize for falling asleep on him and for inconveniencing him, but Kirishima doesn’t let you. “It’s warmer this way, plus, I like holding something while I sleep.”

He has his arms wrapped around you, thick biceps pressing heavy against your shoulders, keeping you flush to his muscular chest. You blush a little at the position, shifting your legs and trying not to do anything weird.

But in moving your legs around, you find yourself straddling his thigh, the stocky limb flexing underneath your weight, Kirishima twitching.

“Sorry-” You blush again, intending on moving, but your stepdad drops a hand to your hip, steadying you.

“No, don’t apologize, I get it.” He winks at you, before jiggling his thigh a bit, settling you down further onto it. “I remember doing stuff like this back in high school, I know it feels good.”

A long moment of silence stretched between you two as you processed his words, feeling increasingly awkward.

“Um, okay...” Was all you could come up with.

Kirishima laughed a bit. “You’ve never cuddled with anyone before? It’s nice, isn’t it? ‘Specially with the heat out like this. Power went out while you were sleeping.”

You felt a little silly now, ducking your head and dropping your gaze. That would explain why the lights were off. You had just assumed the movie had finished playing and your stepdad had turned it off, but apparently that wasn’t the case. 

“Temp’s gonna drop fast, we’re probably going to have to use good ‘ole body heat while we sleep. You wanna move to the bed? Or just sleep here?”

A shrug, and Kirishima smiled. “Okie-doke, bed it is. Thank goodness, my back would kill me if I tried to sleep on the couch. Gettin’ old s’no fun.”

The man sat up, and you quickly disentangled yourself from him, ignoring the way his thigh rubbed in between your legs as he moved about. As soon as you felt the chill of the room, you shivered, clacking your teeth together and snatching the blanket tight around yourself.

“Oh, that’s so cold, fuck.”

“Hey, watch your language-” Kirishima chided, rising to his feet as he gathered the rest of the blankets up into his arms. “No potty mouths in this house, yeah? Keep it clean.”

He’d been married to your mom for almost a year now, and Kirishima had easily fallen into the “father figure” role, despite the fact that it wasn’t necessarily needed.

But you indulged him by laughing at his corny dad jokes, complimenting the various meats he grilled for meals, keeping your judgements about his questionable fashion choices to yourself instead of blurting them out to his face.

Kirishima led the way to the master bedroom, the room he shared with your mom, stating that the bed was bigger, it’d be more comfortable. Did you really expect him to fit into your bed?

He was a big man, strong and solid. He was able to throw you over one shoulder, your mom over the other, and run around the house whooping while the two of you laughed and pounded on his back.

“Alright-” Kirishima tossed his armful of blankets onto the bed he shared with your mom, immediately fluffing them up and pulling at the edges until he was satisfied.

The man pulled back the edge, holding it ups as he turned to you. “Head on inside!”

It was cold at first, the sheets and blankets chilly. You snuggled up to Kirishima as soon as the big man laid down, making him laugh a bit as your teeth chattered together.

“S-sorry it’s just so-so c-cold.” You explained.

“Your nose is all red, you look so cute.” His smile is warm, his hands even warmer as they begin to rub up and down your sides.

You don’t know how to respond, let yourself relax into the comforting touch, his fingertips dancing over your sweater.

“So.....” Kiri starts “You’ve never had a boyfriend then? You got so quiet when I asked if you’ve cuddled with someone before.”

A blush rose to your cheeks, and you shook your head. “No, I have. I broke up with him a little bit before you and mom started dating.”

The redhead’s quiet for a moment, then tucks his chin over your head, drawing you closer into his chest. “I’m sorry. Relationships can be hard, I know.”

“It was for the best, I think.” You continue, letting your stepdad rub your back as you talked. “We just didn’t really jive well together I guess. Wish we’d figured that out sooner though.”

The man pressed against you is so sturdy, solid and radiating heat like a furnace. It’s easy to relax in his easy-going presence.

“Well, if you ever miss cuddling, don’t hesitate to come find me, yeah? It’s one of my favorites.”

Kirishima was a touchy man, and it was obvious that his love language was touch, so it made sense. He always had his thick arms wrapped around your mom, was holding her hand, holding yours, placing kisses on your cheeks, kissing your mom every chance he got.

Sometimes he asked you to brush out his hair for him, when you weren’t busy or anything. He’d relax into jelly as you ran the hairbrush through his red locks, contented little sighs falling from his lips.

“Okay, I’ll do that.” You chuckle, thinking to yourself how the world had a funny sense of humor.

Truthfully, when you’d first been introduced to the man your mom had recently started dating, you’d developed a hopeless crush. He was attractive, kind, funny; if your mom wasn't dating him, you would’ve asked for his number.

A small part of you was irritated that the man was young enough for you to date him, your mother unbothered by the sugar stereotype she’d developed.

But ah well, what’s done is done.

“You know, I didn’t know what I'd be like having a daughter.” Kirishima soft voice breaks you out of your thoughts. “You’re almost more like.... I dunno, a friend? If that makes sense. I feel like we’re buddies.”

“Yeah, I feel like that too.” You confess, breathing into his neck, able to smell the cologne he uses, something heady and strong and manly.

A comfortable silence settles around you both, nothing but soft breaths and Kirishima’s warm hands rubbing gently over your body, against your sides, up and down your back, massaging your shoulders.

They traveled too close to your tummy, and you choked out a laugh, flinching away from Kirishima.

“Don’t, ‘m ticklish.” Came your breathless, giggly warning.

“Yeah? Yeah?” The redhead grinned, a glint in his eye, barely noticeable before he pounced, rolling over until you were smothered beneath his hefty weight, unable to move.

Horrible, terrible fingers descended, dug into your ribs and you shrieked, wide smile breaking across your features as your stepdad tickled you.

This is what happiness was made of.

Warm and fuzzy, the smell of rain, the sound of it pattering against the roof. Strong arms around you, a laugh on your lips.

Kirishima’s thigh slipped in between yours, pressed upwards, and you choked on a breath, hands immediately clutching at the man’s biceps.

“You’re so sensitive, it’s so cute.”

No time to say his name, ask any questions. He was situating you on your side, legs tangled with his, a big, beefy thigh still flush against your clothed sex.

“Mm, you ever do this with your boyfriend?” The redhead was moving, hands gripping your waist now, dragging you along his thigh, and you kept bumping up against his chest, his toned stomach.

“Yes-yeah.” Was your breathless reply, head whirling, eyes wide. This isn’t really what you were expecting, not from your stepdad.

But it wasn’t entirely unwelcome.

That’s why you weren’t screaming your head off, recoiling in disgust, scrambling for the phone to call your mom, the police.

No, you were still, pliant against Kirishima as he moved your body, his lazy red eyes fixed on your face. “Hm? Feels nice, doesn’t it? You like it?”

A shaky nod is all you can muster, feeling yourself beginning to drip against your stepdad’s thigh, slick all over your folds, the skin tingling, making your hips jump as your clit pulsed at the stimulation.

God, it felt good.

“You make me so happy, y’know? Such a pretty, smart girl.” He praised, and now you could feel it - feel the cock filling out against your tummy, hot and wet, leaking.

“I really hit the jackpot. A beautiful wife, a gorgeous daughter... I love you so, so much.” Kirishima was breathing heavier, his fingers digging into your hipbones as he dragged you back and forth against him. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. Just wanna take care of you, yeah?  Make you cum lots, whatever you want.”

Almost feverish now, his hips twitching forward, pushing against your tummy again and again, rubbing his cock against your soft flesh, groaning in your ear, breath stuttering-

And then a long moan, a burst of warmth soaking through your pajama shirt, right where the tip of Kiri’s cock rested.

“Oh shit-” He gasped, sucking in air, muscles flexing as he drew back his legs, hands shakily pushing you onto your back.

“That - Jesus, you really got me goin’.” Kiri panted, beginning to kiss at your neck, one of his hands diving into your pajama pants, straight down to strum over your clit.

Already keyed up from the dry humping, veins pumping with excitement, arousal, the thrill of being touched and fondled by your-your stepdad.

A finger teased at your hole, then inched inside, and you bucked your hips, crying out a bit.

“Hey, hey-” He was still a little breathless, a little lightheaded from his orgasm, but the man was determined. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay. I got you. I’m always gonna take care of my girl.”

[wherethehellismysupersuit]

EP - 12 review

Let me just say that at this point, 25 21 is just a series of memes of baek yijin looking shocked with his hand on his mouth lmaoo-

Am i late? i can’t tell. i was just impressed at heedo’s fluent french, just like yijin.

So. I may or may not have been guilty of the same reaction through this entire episode. 

Where do i even begin? The argument between heedo and her mum was realistic and hilarious af. one moment u guys are happily holding hands, the next u are bickering. it stayed true to their characters without being overly sappy.

Ji Seungwan is a freakin’ queen. I have never admired nor crushed on someone so hard before.( i lied. I’m crushing hard on all the characters in this series) I’m glad this ep gives her the spotlight she rightfully deserves.

Corporal punishment, although banned, still continues to prevail in a lot of countries. Idk about the western ones, but i can safely vouch for the asian ones. My blood was boiling the entire time i saw the teacher. The harsh reality is, not everyone is like Seungwan. Some people who are toppers, usually use their status as a way to get away with literally anything, all because of a set of numbers on their paper. That’s fucked up. The entire system of judging someone by numbers is fucked up imo, although we have no other choice.

Although i did feel like the scene between her and her mother was slightly unrealistic; cause if i did something like that my mom would’ve screamed at me, locked herself in a room, thought about it, grudgingly agreed, and then comfort me. i liked the fact that the mum didn’t just agree and tell her that her decision was brave like a game npc. Unfortunately, the real world is harsh, and you’re not always able to uphold your beliefs. Partly that’s why i admire seungwan- because i know i would’ve bent unlike her, who broke. her mom reading the teachers at Taeyang High to filth had me whooping at my screen. Like mother, like daughter.

The fencer Yeji struggling also got to me. The feeling when something u used to love, is now something you’ve grown tired of, is heartbreaking. imo, the coach was giving her an out; a chance to reevaluate her determination. Maybe i’m biased, cause i love coach yang.

yurim and heedo were peak besties. we love to see it.

yijin and heedo doing coupley things like making excuses to walk under an umbrella had me squealing and dying of cuteness. oh, if i knew what was yet to come.

Jiwoong and Seungwan have the most natural friendship i’ve seen in kdrama history. that easiness of confession, and the comfort in hanging out makes me wistful, ngl. Also, we get the male crying? and the female comforting? and it’s purely platonic? we love it. (although i would not be opposed to a friends since diapers -to- lovers trope if u know what i mean ;] )

And now the most important part. excuse my aggressiveness.

THE FUCKING KISS? IN A DIMLY LIT ROOM, SOFT TV BLARING IN THE BACKGROUND, THE ANTICIPATION IN HEEDO’S FACE AS SHE COUNTS DOWN THE SECONDS, YIJIN’S SUDDEN AWARENESS OF THE CLOSE PROXIMITY OH MY GOD I’M ACTUALLY DEAD-

And there’s that. I must say that the next preview makes me anxious. as it always does. and i have to wait a week for it. boo.

also, if i don’t post on the next weekends, please feel free to assume that my family has called the exorcist on the account of thinking that i am possessed due to the amount of unholy noises i make when watching this drama. i’m truly sad to think that this will soon end and then what am i supposed to do with my life?

stan seungwan’s perm.

signed, your resident psychoanalyser. 

[highdwightofmylife]

If your requests are open, could I request something with Jeff and his s/o basically adopting the legion as their kids please 🥺 thank you so much

God so WHOLESOME THANK YOU... also I'm writing this while waiting for a match why do I load in immediately as surv but the moment i wanna play killer it takes 300 years... just let me be Evan bhvr

ALSO FUCK THIS GOT SO LONG IM SO SORRY 😳😳

Jeff, His S/O and Their Four Teenage Ruffians

Jeff had told you that he'd met with the Legion prior to all... this. The fog, yknow? He told you about how he'd painted a big mural for them; how they gave him drinks, how... How he felt like he couldn't leave them alone up in that abandoned lodge after he'd finished their commission because it didn't feel right. So he told you he often checked up on them, and they always seemed so happy to see him. He told you it was like he'd suddenly adopted four kids that he'd occasionally bring snacks and cds for and make sure they were looking after themselves.

So now in the fog. His kids are a lot more vicious than he thought they were! But... That didn't mean he wasn't their dad anymore!

You met Jeff here, you started dating him here, and, well, with Jeff comes his misfit kids.

It takes them some time to view you as anything other than just another survivor, really. They have respect for Jeff but still kill him (although they have, occasionally, turned a blind eye to him in trials). So you? You worm you way into Susie's heart first. She doesn't trust you by any means, but her curiosity about what papa Jeff see's in you is too much to ignore. She begins to like you because you don't talk down to her. You don't treat her as the child of her group, as some people have done. She likes that you talk to her as an equal.

Doesn't mean she won't kill you though. But, at least she feels bad about it.

Joey's next. He trusts and respects Jeff, but he also sees how you are with Susie, and that's a bonus for him. He's more laid-back than the others, and he would have no qualms about approaching you when you're alone, sitting down beside you and gently asking some things. About what you did before all this, about how you and Jeff got together... He's really chill to talk to, and once you start conversing with him, he gets more at ease. Consider the first spontaneous meeting alone to be a test where he sizes you up and decides whether you can get closer to he and his family.

Susie talks about you all the time. She really warmed up to you and fast. Honestly Julie has gotten sick of hearing how nice you are and veing asked when you can come over.

Surprisingly? Frank's the one that follows suit with liking you. He starts teasing you every time he sees you, "ewwww, they liked Jeff,, ew... Old people love". Doesn't matter how old you are. You could be 18 and this man still calls you old just for being with Jeff. "ew are you two gonna fuck?? Gross"

But all that teasing is literally just because he's not very good at dealing with things, and he doesn't want to admit he likes you without making a fool of himself.

But you know he does like you because one time in the dead of night he came to you to ask you to bandage something for him and he was all like "BUT THIS IS ONLY BC UR THE LAST OPTION, I ASKED EVERYONE ELSE" but when you patch him up and send him on his way he says "thanks mom/dad" and then you see him go rigid and he's like "I-I-I MEAN... UH... FUCK YOU" and then runs away

Julie is the hardest kid to warm up to you. She always puts on a sour face when she sees you, and she actively distances herself. It's like. She doesn't need a parent. Doesn't want one. Says Jeff is more so "just some guy who painted our wall once" but everyone knows that's a lie. And when the other three start flocking to you, she feels very left out. She feels angry that you're taking her family from her. Stereotypical biological kid getting mad at a step parent for existing.

Julie accidentally let's her emotions flow in front of just you and Jeff. He says something trivial and she just blows up. "YEAH?? WELL ITS NOT LIKE I WANTED YOU TO BE MY DAD. BUT NOW YOU'RE IGNORING ME AND EVERYONE ELSE LOVES /THEM/ BUT I JUST KNOW THEY HATE ME"

And Jeff looks at you and looks at her and. "When did you assume they hated you?" And you can hear sniffles from behind her mask as she sadly/angrily kicks at the floor and, "Well it's obvious isn't it?? Why would they not"

Jeff looks you dead in the eye. "Sweetheart, do you hate Julie?"

"Absolutely not. Never have, never will."

And Julie looks up like ?????

And then Jeff laughs and it's very hearty and just... Good man...

Julie is now your aloof daughter than every now and then will give you a quick hug from behind, where you can feel her sigh and get all her emotions out, and then glare at you and power walk away.

You love your kids.

All six of you watching old VCRs on a beaten up TV in the lodge. Jeff and you snuggled up in the middle of the couch. Susie with her head on your lap. Joey sprawled out on the other side of Jeff with his legs dangling over the arm rest. Frank on the floor, hogging some really shitty popcorn. Julie sat on the back of the couch, closer to you than she ever thought she'd let herself. One happy, albeit dysfunctional family.

Joey seems to be taking after Jeff. Sometimes you and Jeff would just sit and draw or paint (or if you don't, you just vibe with him as he does). It was nice. And now sometimes, Joey gently asks if there's a space for him. It's so soft to see Jeff enthusing about his work while Joey eagerly listens. You like to watch them both lying on their stomachs on the floor, sketching. Jeff is teaching him all his tricks and Joey just eats it all up. Father son activity that you get to witness. And sometimes Joey will lift up his art and show you! If he has taken off his mask you'll see the absolute joy in his eyes.

Susie makes u a keyring I don't make the rules. Its made out of scrap and she had to get evan to help and when she presents it to you she is just SO HAPPY. The model daughter except she kills people on a daily basis

[madeoftwinklingstars]

ok tumblrinas are u ready. btvs live blog go

1.1

LMFAO can’t get over the 90’s ass voice over in the beginning literally making me laugh out loud

heehee intro as a whole …. with the rock like yasss slay

guys the jew representation in this show is off the charts. sarah michelle gellar and the other main character is willow rosenberg? no one ever talks about this. this is a jew show irl

alyson is so cute it’s so funny that they try to make her “nerdy” with a shitty outfit like. what???? she’s still like. so pretty.

meet cute mome with buffy and xander .. classic

also buffy’s first day outfit is soooo cute n so is she. love

xander’s sheer shirt is like boygirl chic supreme. loveee again

GERM WAREFARE????????? WHAT

free my bitch willow she aint done nothing but be sustainable

love him already (giles) why is he like this

giles is boygirl supreme actually i’ve decided or maybe he’s just british

GIRL REALLY THOUGHT HE COULD PLACE DOWN A BOOK OF VAMPYR AND NOT FREAK OUT????

sometimes joss whedon writes shit and like. u just have to sit and think

did people talk like this in the 90s

i love how buffy is like fuck this shit like yes girl fuck this shit

no bc the way that it must be so hard to hold this secret and have to watch her destroy not just her life but her mom’s and everyone around her’s…

yasss girl live in ur dark cave, chant ominously and give us nothing 😍😍

“hi! im an enormous slut!” pissing myself

if this was me and i was 16 i would not be allowed to go to a club. like? girl do u care abt ur daughter at all?

this dude in his velvet coat….. and being destroyed by buffy instantly… yeah… yeah��

if this is the place to be in sunnydale i think i’d just never leave my house if i lived there

WHEN DOES WILLOW BECOME A LESBIAN 😭😭 i know she does i just can’t wait

ok but jesse literally can’t catch a hint like leave her alone

FREE MY BITCH WILLOW make her a lesbian now so she doesn’t fall for this vampire dick

“what is your childhood trauma” the way i have fully said these words before but in an entirely different context

the vampire makeup is sooo funny tho i think we need to bring back practical effects exclusively so we can have gold like this again

i know by young and fresh they mean virgins and i just don’t know why they don’t just say it

kinda love how they chose this dark ass place to hide the shitty fight choreography and makeup

thinking about how joss whedon went on to write parts of the MCU and u can literally hear the quips starting now LMFAO

love the overarching plot explanation now… we need that structure yasss

1.2

wow literally forgot this was a 2 parter but also they put their whole pussy into this shit

the amount of christian mythology here does give it negative points for being a jew show :/

dirty cave back 😍😍 we love to see it… candle lit, large throne, perfect for all

ALSO PISSING MYSELF WITH HOW THE VAMPIRES ARE LISPING WITH THE FUCKING TEETH IN THEIR MOUTHS 😭😭😭 LITERALLY LMFAO

this show is soooo acab like yes the police cant do anything and only come with guns 😍

this show is actually so feminist because the 4 main protagonists are all women

fuck this guy (the principal)

i love her (buffy)

the cross is so ugly but i know they had to make it this big to show up on the shitty fucking quality of the tvs in the 90s

velvet coat guy’s name is angel and it’s like they want u to trip over the plot

sooo true xander i would also skip chem class

when she’s experienced and is willing to cut someone’s head off with an x-acto knife

fuck that guy (cordelia)

i love her (willow)

girlies RUN….

NOT THE LISPS AGAIN 😭😭

jesse is infinitely more interesting as a vampire and im happy they freed him from being boring

giles in rolled sleeves is strangely attractive to me. actually i think i just think giles is weirdly hot in general. maybe it is because he is british.

phantom of the opera ass score like DUNDUN DUN DUN

who wrote that essay about the inherent sexuality of vampires. yeah… yeah…

“the thtarths themthelveths will hide!” please

i do feel so bad for buffy tho like fr society if she just could be normal

crying over the heads of garlic just there in her supply box. like how would be use those to stop them 😭😭

ok but like. is them going to a club and drinking the drinks there implying that they are always drunk at the bronze at 16 year olds??? it’s so weird

cordelia needs to listen to goodbye earl by the chicks and i think that would fix her

90s censorship laws be like. no blood allowed! but yes to 16 year olds at clubs!

ok maybe i do rly like this show like a lot

buffy should be included in discussions of feminism fr like she walked so y’all could run

giles immediately getting taken down by a vampire is truly the most camp and hilarious thing he could do

the master lying and screaming on the floor no is so me core!

angel shut the fuck up have faith

u averted the apocalypse for now

i love how buffy has friends like :’) yay she’s not alone anymore