#fuck Bob Saget and Fuck John stamos

[tuttle-did-it]

With John Stamos in the news for his autobiography, here is your reminder that whilst in Finland, Stamos knowingly and intentionally helped his friend sexually assault a woman and then bragged about it in a magazine.

Consent to sleep with one person one time is not consent to sleep with all people at all times. I don’t understand why this has to be said, but apparently it does.

Stamos bragged about being an accessory to rape.

Also, during the revolting Bob Saget roast, he said:

Stamos: What a tough gig [America’s Funniest Home Videos] must’ve been, huh? His entire job consisted of saying, “Take a look at this,” which is what he used to say to Mary-Kate Olsen in her dressing room.

John Stamos is a revolting human.

[bowtiesnmusicals]

Here is my recap of the John. Stamos. episode of the podcast.

Kevin said wow wow wow. Jenna said wow wow wowzer is all she can say. Kevin said you are welcome in advance. He said because Jenna is the most universally liked person she is able to sometimes pull guests that the rest of us are grateful for. 

Uncle Jesse himself John Stamos aka Dr. Carl. 

Kevin said because Dr. Carl is rehearsing for a tour they might have a surprise guest that pops in to say hey and he will never recover. Jenna said it’s too much for one heart. 

John said he misses Jenna and Kevin so much. He said he missed one of  them more then the other. Kevin and Jenna said they missed him. 

John said he is proud of Kevin. He is a proud friend. Kevin said that is so sweet. Jenna said true John form giving all the compliments. 

John asked Kevin if he is in a relationship. Kevin told him that he actually met his first boyfriend during Glee. 

John said he gave them one piece of advice when he started on the show, don’t fuck each other. Jenna and Kevin said it was too late. 

Kevin said John was very good at corralling everyone. John would tell them stories about his experiences. 

John started name dropping people that were his mentors like Jack Klugman, Gary Marshall, and Don Rickles. He said he was waiting as long as he could to have to pay it forward. He was like oh I am old and these guys are young. He said the start of his success was gradual and glee exploded.

He told Jenna he is proud of her too and congratulated her on the baby. Jenna congratulated John on his son as well. She said the last time she had seen him was before John’s son was born. She talked about John telling her about his wife Caitlin while Jenna was in Waitress. John said his wife did get to see Jenna while she was in waitress. 

John asked if Jenna and Kevin had stayed good buddies this whole time. Kevin said yeah they were on facetime the night before until 10 or 11 pm. They are obsessed with each other. Jenna said it’s nice to work with your friends and be with your friends. Just work with the people you like and trust and be kind. Kevin said you’ve done that to John. John said yeah when they don’t die on me, Saget.

Jenna said she remembers texting him when Bob Saget died and there is nothing you can say. She said there is nothing to say but they knew and understood. It’s really hard. 

John said if you can take anything away from Bob Saget it is just enjoy every moment because it goes by so fast. Tomorrow is never promised. Love who you love. Have children and get married. He never left anything on the table. He always said I love you, I miss you, I’m proud of you. I want to see you naked. He said they got dirty. Kevin said as they should. Jenna said Kevin and I dirty text all the time. Who doesn’t?

John said they weren’t working you guys to death quite yet in season 2. Kevin said no we were. He said he doesn’t know what happened between first season and second season the schedule got even crazier. He said you would have thought we would have gotten into a rhythm and figured out how to do this but we really didn’t yet. They added more songs every episode for season 2. Therefore there was more recording and more rehearsal which meant less time to do anything. He said John was there when it was cresting into time oblivion. He said John, consummate professional, just rolled with everything. John said it was frightening because right at that point Glee was becoming the biggest show in the world. He said he would rent dance studios and work all night to get his performances down for Glee. Kevin said its nice that it looked like because that’s not how it always felt. He said it was the inverse when Kristin Chenoweth came in because she got it after seeing it once and it took them three days to look like they even remotely got anything. He said he remembers John being so open about being nervous and wanting to run things again. Kevin said they were happy to run it as many times as he needed because they were just happy to hang out with John.

Kevin said John is so talented and so good at so many things. It was interesting for him to come in and differ to them about how do I keep up with you guys. Kevin said they were like you’ve got this already. You are so much better then the rest of us. John said no, no, no, I’m just older. 

John is writing a book. John had a deal with Warner Brothers. Ryan had a deal with Warner Brothers after doing popular. Ryan told John he had an idea about a show where he was a hooker and it was like Charlie’s Angels. He said looking back he should have taken the offer. Then years later Ryan came to him with an offer to do Nip/Tuck and John said he should have done that show. Then after all this Glee came along. He said he met up with Ryan at Chateau Marmot. Ryan told him they were doing a Rocky Horror episode and play Frank-N-Furter. John said alright sign me up. He talked about how Ryan directed the first episode he was in, Britney/Brittany. Jenna and John both mentioned how Ryan would throw lines at them. Jenna said they only time they really ever went off script and tried things was when Ryan was directing. 

John was also a doctor on The New Normal. He was also in Scream Queens. He said he remembers seeing Ryan in his office working on three shows and working on them all at once. Kevin said as the Ryan empire grow it was fascinating to watch him work. He said the didn’t quite grasp how big it was getting. They didn’t really know what was going on with the other shows. Jenna brought up how Ryan said he didn’t know to manage this empire and how they felt kind of like their dad had abandoned them when he went to work on other shows like American Horror Story. 

Kevin asked what it was like to work with Jayma. He said how was it to work with Jayma and mess with Matt. John said he wasn’t sure if Matt was so happy when he joined Glee. 

John asked if Jenna and Kevin wanted to come see the Beach Boys when they play at the Hollywood Bowl. Kevin and Jenna said absolutely yes. Jenna said everyday before Emma was born she played her God Only Knows. She wanted to see if she recognized it and it would calm her after she was born. Kevin said so sweet and its one of the greatest songs of all time. John said it’s a perfect song. It was the first dance at his first wedding. He said the lyrics are harsher then you realize. I may not always love you is the first lyric. 

Back to Jayma and Matt. He said he remembers Ryan through him into a dance number. It was I’m A Slave 4 You when Heather as Brittany is practically grinding on John while he lays in that chair. He was like this is going to be a great job. He said you guys were so kind. Everyone was so sweet in the beginning. He said he couldn’t imagine what was going through their heads at that time. They had to be thinking all the time about what was next. Jenna said it was hard. They worked us to the bone and then on the weekends they had press. She said there was no break from each other or from the show. There was no breathing room to sit back and look back what they were doing. There was no reflection time. She said in many ways you were almost suffocated by it or at least that is how Jenna feels about it. Kevin said at the same time there job was to show up and work with people like John. He said it was very odd that people they looked up to wanted to be on a show that they were a part of even though the show was becoming big. 

Jenna brought up when John invited them to screen the Britney/Brittany episode at Jeff Davis house with his castmates from Full House. Jenna was like John buried the lead and they showed up at Jeff Davis house and were like what’s going on. John said he thinks he was the closest to Kevin and Jenna. 

John said Rocky Horror was the lure to get him on Glee. He said he remembers working with Lou, the head of wardrobe, and they made him a whole bustier. He said he remembers sitting with Ryan at Chateau Marmot and Ryan was like you know your whole stomach is going to be exposed. John said he pulled up his shirt and was like I have been working out, I look good right. Ryan was like don’t eat those fries. John said he did a fitting and took a bunch of pictures and what he heard is the network or studio saw and said you’ve got one straight guy on the show keep him out of women’s clothing. Then he was shifted over to doing Eddie. He asked what they knew. Kevin said he remembered John coming to them. He said John got how they worked because they all had to piece together intel from different departments. He said John would come to them and say this is what he heard. Jenna said she doesn’t think they ever got the real intel. John thinks he recorded Sweet Transvestite. 

John bought his current place from Adam Anders. There is a recording studio in the house. He said Darren and Lea have recorded stuff there. John said he remembers going to record Hot Patootie and he was like this was too high. They were like no you will be fine. John sang and they were like okay thanks we got it. Kevin said they can make anything work. John said that is when he fell in love with autotune. Kevin said autotune ruins you. John said on Broadway he just puts enough vibrato on it he would eventually hit the note. Jenna said remind me which shows you have done. She said she saw him in Nine. He said he was terrible in that show. He said his parents told him if you want do something then just do it. He said when he was done with Full House he asked Jack Klugman what he should do and Jack told him to go the theatre. He got a call to replace Matthew Broderick in How to Succeed. He said he looks back at things thinking where did I get the balls to do that, what was I thinking? Kevin said how was that for you. That he struggles with that himself where people are always telling him to do theatre but its terrifying to him. Jenna said you’d be great. Kevin said it is so the opposite of what he is used to doing. John said luckily he was coming from sitcoms that had a live audience and had been playing with the Beach Boys since 1985. He said he never thought he would be on Broadway one day or that he is a singer. He said Cabaret was the best thing in his life at the time. He said he was able to let go fully. Then he went to Nine. John told a story about after getting the show and seeing it was huge and his driver telling him he felt bad for whoever was taking over after Antonio. Jenna said it is a hard show. 

John said he was having a great time on Glee and then all of a sudden he was gone. Kevin said tale as old as time. Jenna said no that is what happens, storylines come and go. Jenna and Kevin said Ryan likes his people. Jenna talked about how Ryan was on the show and how he set the tone for the show. She said a lot of them have healed their relationships with him and their experience on the show after Naya died. Kevin said after Naya went missing Ryan started calling them. Kevin said they were so amped up with emotions that they just let it all out. He said Ryan was accepting to all that. Kevin said it was weird that it happened during that time. It felt good. They had conversations amongst themselves and with Ryan. Kevin and Jenna said the calls with Ryan were one on one. Jenna said she thinks a lot of them were waiting for him to open the door. 

(They get things wrong time wise when talking about Cory.) They talked about when Cory passed away. They said he passed away between season 3 and 4. They were right with the start of the season being pushed back. John asked how Ryan was then. Kevin said that was a very complicated time. Jenna mentioned that Ryan had said on the podcast Ryan felt a lot of responsibility and didn’t know how to handle it. It was really hard for him. Jenna said she felt like the show died when Cory died. Kevin said it did. It was hard to go back to these places they shared with Cory especially since he had such a big personality. Kevin said that for lack of a better word it was traumatic to be constantly reminded of this person that was no longer there. Jenna said the memorial they had for Cory in auditorium and then they had to back to being there and being okay with it. It was really hard and weird. John mentioned that there was only a handful of people that knew what they went through on the show and it had to be hard to lose one of those people. Kevin said he thinks they are still so close because they had each other to lean on through thick and thin. Kevin asked if that is how John is with everyone with Full House. John asked if there were talks about Glee coming back and joked that this was the announcement. 

John said the cast of Full House was abnormal. They were too close. It was a weird thing. Full House was successful but not the first year or two. It wasn’t like Glee which was a meteoric rise. John said him and Bob didn’t get along at all at the start. John came at from the angle of being an actor and wanting to make the scenes better and work on the emotion of the show. Bob just wanted to make dirty jokes and make the guy pulling the cable laugh. John said it was fun for awhile but it was also distracting and disruptive to everyone elses process. He said they didn’t really become close until after the show as done. He said Bob was very instrumental at keeping everyone together. He talked about Mary Kate and Ashley. He said they didn’t hate their childhood. He said he still talks to them. He said he thinks Glee was different. They were all unknown and then overnight became the biggest stars in the world. 

John said lets talk about our trip to Disneyland. Jenna said John is Disney’s #1 fan. Kevin said you are the Disney adult. John said he wanted to shake before he met his wife but she is worse then him. Kevin said it is a match made in heaven. He said before he met his wife he was like he has to drop this Disney stuff because he wanted to be serious actor. He said he was out to dinner with some people and Ryan Gosling was there. Ryan was like you are big Disney guy and said I love it. He has mix tapes for each ride. John was like really. he was like it didn’t hurt Ryan’s career. Chris was supposed to go with them and then it rained. Jenna said it was so much fun. Kevin said it was so great cause it was a bit of a shit show in the weather department but that made it so ME memorable. Jenna said it was more quiet then normal because of the rain. Kevin wasn’t out publicly at the time. Kevin said he had a come to Jesus moment with his then boyfriend, Marco, he was like look you need to reign it in. We are now friends with Stamos and play it cool.

Mike Love from the Beach Boys showed up. John introduced him to Jenna and Kevin. John said how Mike does a joke every night. John tells him to dedicate Surfer Girls to all the girls in the audience and he says this song is dedicated to all the ladies from John. Everyone screams and John says a couple of guys too and Mike said a couple of guys too. Mike said since John did Glee he has been dedicating songs to guys. Jenna said I am a big fan. Kevin said it is an honor to meet you. He said Mike is a legend and you are more talented then rest of us all combined. Mike said he is the Mount Rushmore of rock. John said you should be and that he is one of the greatest. Mike talked about John being on General Hospital. John talked about his first show with the Beach Boys and how huge the crowed was that night.

John talked about how Mike is responsible for the most optimistic beautiful music. When they wrote it in the 60s it was powerful and even more so today. Kevin said there is a reason those songs are still gigantic today. People need them. Mike said a researcher in England said Good Vibrations came it at number one for making people feel good. Kevin said it was named appropriately. Jenna said she listens to his music on the regular. John mentioned Jenna saying she played God Only Knows everyday when pregnant with Emma. John mentioned how I may not always love you is not a good first line. Mike said I didn’t write that part. He said people use it in their weddings and are foretelling their divorce. John mentioned how it was his first dance at his first wedding. Kevin said he will be front row at the Hollywood Bowl with Mike’s name painted on his chest. Jenna and Kevin said so nice to meet you. 

John talked about his memoir If You Would Have Told Me. He said his first concert was the Beach Boys and would not have believed you if you told him he would get to play with them one day. He said he looks back and says he is so grateful for everything. He brought up Jenna jumping on her trampoline everyday. Jenna says she does it so she can look as good at John at that age. 

They moved on to talking about John’s book. He had offers to write a book a few times. He said he isn’t that interesting. He said after Bob died and his parents he decided to do it. He said he tried to find things that were relatable to other people. Jenna said she can’t wait to read the book. It comes out in October. Jenna said it must have been therapeutic and cathartic to write the book. 

Jenna said congrats on your show. He gets to work with Jessalyn and Keala Settle. 

John said lets zoom again the three of us sometime. He said he was nervous coming into Glee and Jenna and Kevin were so kind to him. He said they stayed in touch but more with Jenna and Kevin. He joked that he likes Jenna more because Kevin ignored him when he went gay. Jenna was laughing historically. Kevin said I knew I didn’t have a chance so never mind. John said he is proud of Kevin. He said he loves Jenna. Kevin said thank you so much. Jenna said have a great tour. Kevin said make sure everyone goes and pre-orders your book.

Jenna asked Kevin if he can believe they had a Beach Boy and John Stamos in one interview. Kevin said his face hurts from smiling. He got goosebumps and was sweating. Jenna said they were in the presence of greatness. Jenna said she is holding John to his word about going to the Beach Boys. Kevin said Austin and Jenna’s husband can watch Emma. He said they are going all three nights. 

Kevin thanked John for being so open and honest. Jenna said he is just a good human. He is so famous like the mecca of famous but look at the kind, appreciative, and generous man that he is with his big big heart. Jenna reminded Kevin that John likes her more. Kevin said he has good taste and he understands. Kevin said to still be that nice after people come up to him everyday is truly a wonder to see and he can’t believe they get to call him a friend. 

Well that is all until next time. 

[beetleprophet]

Im sorry im so so sorry im sorry okay but im in fucking tears over his NFT profile pic. Oh my god. ohhh my god.

[puerilepetals-blog]

It’s eight in the morning.

I’m tired of being at the fucking hospital.

I wanna go home.

The best thing that’s happened here so far is that there was a Full House marathon on the TV last night and I was up till midnight watching John Stamos talk about his hair and Bob Saget pretend to be a dad.

Like I’m better.

I’m healed.

I’m fine.

Let me go the everloving fuck home.

Fuck hospitals.