#ftm Haldir

[elithilanor]

The Unfinished Drafts

Aka my thoughts on gender and elves isn't super concrete anyone and here's an exploratory draft I had going in themes of forcing myself to write more and get over my imposter syndrome and also it's pride

Aka Haldir is having Thoughts about Gender and Elrond is everyone's dad

Unfinished drafts are things I probably won't complete due to some reason. In this case, my stances on elvish gender have changed so it's not really relevant anymore to my thought process. But it also makes me happy so here it is.

Haldir had spent the better part of a year ruminating over this conversation and yet he found the words still wouldn’t come to him.

“I cannot Shapeshift.” He finds himself blurting out.

“No. I wouldn’t have supposed you could.” Lord Elrond responds, a small tilt of his head as he assesses the Warden. “That is a fairly restricted gift of lineage.”

“Yes, correct. But are there -“ Haldir pauses, his heart pounding in his chest. His hands flutter before he smooths them down at his side.

“Haldir.” Lord Elrond says gently, kindly. He is always gentle and kind; surely he would not think less of him even if it were not possible.

Elven gender is not like the race of Men; they are much more fluid. But he wasn’t changing his role in society or the wardrobe he wore. He was changing the very foundation of his gifts from Illuvitar.

“I - are there ways to change the body's form? Without shifting one’s body? Perhaps… permanently?” He focuses on the roses below the balcony. He finds himself unable to look at the Peredhel Healer.

He’s sure his brothers have guessed, maybe others, perhaps the Lady Galadriel even knows. She has had that mischievous look in her eyes for the past three weeks and his finding Lord Elrond without any additional guests at his side had been surprisingly easy for how busy he was.

But it’s different to say it out loud.

Different to say it out loud and mean it. Different to change things as they are. To change things to what they should be.

He hears Lord Elronds robes brush his legs as he walks away and Haldir’s heart drops. He closes his eyes. Perhaps the whole notion had been ridiculous. He supposes he could try himself, but it truly was a bit too ridiculous to contemplate. Battlefield medic he was, not an elf with the gifts of his Lady.

“There are more than you might think.” Elrond says warmly, squeezing Haldir’s shoulder reassuringly as he appears back in his line of site. Elrond presses a goblet into Haldir’s hand and firmly guides him to the settee. His legs are much less sturdy than he had thought they were. He finds the hand Elrond has on his shoulder the only point of grounding; he feels as light as air.

“Shifting one’s form magically is rare, which means that for ages, others have had to find other means to do. Usually surgically as magic is not precise enough and can cause a host of negative effects. To name a few who have undergone a form of transition to their bodies: Maeglin, Caranthir, King Fingon, Círdan. Elves who farm, and hunt, and clean the floors, and sew garments. Elves who prefer staying in the background; elves who rise in the ranks of the Galadhrim. Elves of all genders changing to what matches their feäs.”

Haldir nods, mind racing. He wasn’t alone. He wasn’t alone.

“I can reach out to some of the others for you? They often like to meet the new and assist with recovery afterwards.” Haldir nods again, eyes wide.

“Please.” He whispers, feä scrubbed raw.

Elrond hums softly and wraps an arm around the younger elf’s shoulders. Some of the tension seeps out of Haldir’s chest.

[rodolfoparras]

!! I do use ibis paint !! I love it it's very easy to use :3 I can draw with my finger but I prefer the pen so aside silly doodles, I'm waiting til my delivery with my new pen comes in :3

When I finish art of him I'll share it with you if you want !! Can't say when It'll be because my package hasn't even shipped yet😖

I'm working on LOTR ocs now, they're all pretty old and in need of updates since I've changed so much since I created them !!

The one I'm updating rn is my very first LOTR oc !! Originally they were a fem elf , in love with Legolas... Tbh a very basic oc for LOTR I made when I was like 13

But !!! I'm making him ftm and instead of Legolas, they eventually date Haldir :3

He was an elvish archer alongside Haldir but one time on patrol he ends up encountering something strange and gets possessed😧 he didn't wanna go back in fear of Haldir finding him disgusting or assuming he's a monster and trying to kill him, so he lingers in the forest, close enough to still keep an eye on the people of Lothlorien (and his beloved Haldir)

I don't have much more worked out but I did make him in a picrew

https://cdn.picrew.me/shareImg/org/202401/1885456_g2CjIgXO.png

also most old people are very rude, I think they have the "respect your elders" mindset that they think they an be assholes to everyone younger than them and we just gotta respect them??? Like shouldn't you be in a grave by now why are you still being hateful??

-🌱

My goodness I sent a whole reply and then the app crashed 😭 but if you feel comfortable please share if you want to and when you can I’d love to see it!

Y’all have such creative backstories to all these ocs I know a lot of them are inspired by the specific show or video game they exist in but I’m still so very impressed with how y’all take an existing idea and transform it into something better!

Also his background story sounds so sad but so lovely! Imagine having a whole future planned with the one you loved now you’re only allowed to watch them live that life without you😭

Also you’d think spending sm time on earth would make you a more understanding individual but every old person just turns bitter and cruel

[elithilanor]

Favorite trans elves or Tolkien characters you stan as trans?

Mine are Fingon and Haldir (both ftm)