#from wednesday: 'hey teacher. if i drink a liter of water and there's also a fish in it how much water did i drink'
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A lot of my colleagues comment on how good my Japanese is because I can use interjections pretty well despite the fact my actual speaking is garbage. I always know when to say "えっ" and "やばい" and "え〜そうなの" and "いえいえいえ" and "そっか" and "そうだね" and every single time they're like "wow! You're like a native speaker!" and I'm like okay but I can't form an actual sentence that's more than 4 words long and if you make me use grammar my brain will catch fire
#nutcracker nihongo#langblr#japanese langblr#i'm good at interjections from the hundreds of hours i listen to kids using them#i'm bad at speaking because most of my japanese input is listening to kids speaking total bullshit#from wednesday: 'hey teacher. if i drink a liter of water and there's also a fish in it how much water did i drink'#well koharu i would imagine that the answer would be one liter of water#'WRONG it was ZERO because the FISH WAS A BOMB'#okay koharu thank you for that wonderful story but it doesn't change the fact that you didn't do your homework#people who are like 'ugh why does duolingo teach me such useless sentences' have never experienced conversation with kids#(not that we stan duo on this blog just to be clear)#also i just don't practice speaking because all my colleagues speak english to me so i don't have much opportunity#i'm trying to change that though. recently i'm trying more and more to speak to them in japanese#i WILL improve my speaking dammit
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can u write a regulus x male reader about them just being friends (there in the same grade) and up until 6th grade regulus realizes that reader saved him mentally and reader has always been there for him and that reggie is literally in love with him, also regulus and reader kinda have like a Wednesday addams (reggie) and enid sinclair (reader) relationship, thank you ♡
:: You and I, shouldn't feel like a crime..
Now calling....Author: "Hello? Thank you so much for this request, I've been stuck with no idea what to write!! This was so cute and nice to write!!"
Now calling....Synopsis: "To Regulus, when the word 'family' comes it's always been Sirius..But Regulus was never Sirius' family and though hard, Regulus unknowingly moved to find a person of his own."
Now calling....Warnings: "Platonic-romantic mix. Sirius being a pick-me dick, sorry.... Thank you! Bye!!"
"Come on! You have to choose one, you can't like all of them!!" you grumble, drinking your lavender-lemonade softly as Regulus sighed, "don't you think this is a completely dim-witted conversation?" Regulus asked, humming softly as he sipped his own drink.
"HEY! Having a favourite ice-cream bean flavour is completely sharp-minded conversations to bee had!" you huffed, gently pushing his shoulder as you popped another one, grumbling, "mint chocolate"
"Of-course you're criticizing mint chocolate. Childish, don't you think?" Regulus grumbled, "well, chocolate is also no festive magical flavour either" you scoffed, looking down at the many chocolate beans he separated from the jar.
"Okay, rude." he scoffed, but smile nonetheless as you went on, "Oh yeah-! Barty recently decided to give creative license of tattooing to Mary from Gryffindor..-" you went on and on.
Sirius grumbled watching you and Regulus sitting by the Black lake. Him and the marauders watching you two from a bit of distance, he's seen you two hang out far often than he should. From sitting behind in classes, giggling over some old word that doesn't exist and sounds weird in the Potions' textbook.
To you comforting him after a Slytherin loss to you both running around Hogsmeade, well..really, it's you dragging Regulus everywhere. Sirius doesn't know what to think, so he keeps quiet, watching you two.
"That Skeeter girl—? From sixth year?" you said, with a cheeky grin on your lips, "—who runs the school paper? She got into trouble nearly with some teacher—" said, trying to untie our shoe,
"—the teacher today. Apparently, been writing about how they've been sleeping with some staff member" you said as Regulus hummed, "makes sense."
You sigh, removing your boots with your socks and rolling your pants a little bit before moving them into the side of the lake, the mud may be annoying, but who care?
You sigh in slight relief and closed your eyes with how the water feels on your bare-feet, Regulus follows suit with no instructions, as he put his feet in the water, they stuttered with how cold it was, as if debating to stay or get out of there. Regulus didn't really like cold water
Opening your eyes, you noticed, gently holding his feet in your warm hands, "—The season's getting colder already.." you hum with a smile, gently placing his feet in the shallow mud-water, folding the cuffs at the bottom of of his pants for him before gently pushing them deeper in the water as Regulus got used to the coldness.
As you leaned back, putting the jar of ice-cream flavours jelly beans asid, Regulus looked at you, face stoic and cold as always..but he didn't feel alone. Regulus sniffled, admiring your face, he gently squeeze the tip of your nose. Not in the way to trouble you, no, but like one would rather to a child to make them giggle.
"You know for a pathetic excuse of a wizard, you're really nice." he said as you opened your eyes, mouth falling open in slight disbelief and faux betrayal,
"oh come on! I am NOT a 'pathetic excuse of a wizard', I'm fine, thank you very much!" you said as Regulus shrugged, sighing as he leaned his head against yours.
Sirius watches, wanting to interfere. Why is Regulus spending time with someone not from his 'pureblood' circles? His pompous brother,always favoured by brothers and always tried to form 'bonds' with him. Why is he going out of his way to befriend you, someone far too nice?
To Sirius, his brother's refusal to run away with him was enough confirmation that Regulus was willingly choosing to follow his parents instead of being kind...
Sirius almost wants to hex his younger brother...How can someone, in his eyes, someone so stoic, cold-hearted and almost selfish have someone still want to be around him??
But he ignores it, in favor of turning around and smiling at his friends. Their advances back to causing mischievous are far more interesting than how his stupid brother and their pink, ditzy barbie of a friend.
Of-course, hogwarts houses kids, all curious and invasive as some first years, your other friend's little siblings how just always liked you. You just never minded the kiddies, they're all cute anyway.
Running up to you, you open your arm to let them tackle you in a tight, sticky-handed hug, as you fall back into Regulus.
Water sprays as your feet pulls out of the lake, but the kids don't mind as Regulus stares, supporting you but feels warm as the kids wave to him too despite his sorta scary face. He waves back, the kids all talking over each other—
"Will you give us Christmas gifts too?", "My sister is bing mean!", "Can I have your older charms books—?" ,"Mcgonagall is scary—! How do you stay in her class?"
Questions over questions, you have no idea why they swarm you. Regulus knows, but stays quiet, as he pushes back your hair, the kids sitting beside. Thee few who tackles you, basically laying over, sticky hands holding onto robes, though they're warm and smell of home to you.
"Alright, alright-" you huff, trying to stop their never-ending questions as Regulus pulls one of the kid ovr on his side, but despite you trying to stop them, they don't so Regulus speaks—
"Enough."
He said firmly as all the kids shut up, covering their mouth as if a mother yelled at them while they try not to giggle
"Alright, questions and questions. Do you ever need to breathe?" you asked with a exasperated chuckle as the kids grin, shaking their heads. Though most are first years and should be eleven, you've heard some first years could be as young as 8-9 year olds.
You keep things silent, keeping them entertained, with kids beside you and Regulus who also speak up at times without realizing Sirius's ears overhearing all.
That is, until one of the kids speak up. You and Regulus pause and Sirius freezes. Regulus is sent back to last year, his previous year when some kid had asked to borrow his old books he wouldn't need anymore.
Regulus sat near the lake, explaining things to the first year who nodded on what to do during potions, holding Regulus's old books he decided to give away to the kid. Nodding, the kid figured it wouldn't hurt to ask—
"Hey Reggie? How's your family? doing?"
"Hey, Mister Black? How is your family doing?"
Regulus paused, looking up..his hand immediately going to his nape, fiddling with his own hair for some sort of comfort for an answer, his eyes moving to Sirius right besides James, "...Sirius is fine" he said softly, trying not to sound bitter.
Regulus looked up, sighing as he rolled his eyes, "this dim-witted Fyodor philosopher sitting right beside me, so ask them." he scoffed, but a boyish grin on his lips nonetheless. The kids giggle cheekily between themselves as Regulus gently hits the back of your head as you grumble,
"cut it out—!"
you said as he rolled his eyes, but smile and fixing your hair, digging his finger in the hair on the back of your hair, even if h couldn't, he would do it all the time.
He wants to cry, go drown himself, purposefully make mistakes so his so called 'mother' can crucio him so he can at-least have a reason to cry and be mad and bitter..
Regulus almost smiled, leaning close, snuggling his cheek against yours as you hummed, your arm over his shoulder, gently tugging at his ear or a strand of his hair to trouble him, but really you only endear him. Regulus smiled, sun hitting his face. He is happy now.

© This writing work belongs to me, rxsilabeth--er, Aurelia, Rosilabeth, Cerine. Reblogging is appreciated, but plagiarizing or copying my works is forbidden, thank you for reading this and if you like this check out my blog!

#rosi⌗writes⌗#now calling ☎...... ╚ regulus black ╗#rosi⌗answers⌗!!!!!<3333#regulus black marauders#regulus black x reader#regulus black headcanons#regulus black hc#dead gay wizards from the 70s#marauders era#hp marauders#marauders#the marauders#regulus black x male reader#regulus black scenarios#regulus black#sirius and regulus#regulus arcturus black#marauders fanfiction#regulus black imagine#regulus black fluff#regulus black angst#sirius black angst#regulus black x y/n#regulus black x you#regulus arcturus black x reader#marauders era fanfiction#the marauders era#marauders fandom#regulus deserved better#regulus and sirius
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REDACTED verse - Those that stood above the rest
Summary: Everyone in D.A.M.N simp for the power couple at least a little bit - the Vampire Prince of Dahlia and the Electro Energetic. Gavin and the Freelancer would be lying if they said they haven't been watching them... respectfully.
TW: [Swearing], [Profanity], [Explicit implications courtesy of Gavin, of course] & [Oblivious narrators]
Apologies for any grammatical or spelling errors because I wrote this the whole night and only edited it once. I’ll do the editing process again tomorrow morning.
-
Life as a student in D.A.M.N is nothing like regular colleges or universities. While the environment is hectic with exams, assignments and teachers with sticks up their asses - there's also a hint of craziness thrown into the mix. You can never really predict how your day would go here in the academy, and to most of the students, it's the typical college experience you'll get everywhere. Just... taken to the next level.
That's what you get for a magical academy, after all.
An Air Elemental would accidentally shatter the windows in a classroom with a powerful gust of wind on a random ass Tuesday because she was laughing too hard. A Graviton Energetic would sneeze, and suddenly, the gravity in the music room would stick the instruments on the ceilings. The entire soccer team would fall flat on the grassy field, snoozing because the Serenity Daemon playing as the Goalkeeper uses too much magic to calm their anxious Sweeper during his first play with the team.
With so many Empowered creatures of all kinds attending D.A.M.N, there's never a dull moment. You learned that the moment a loud growl came from the Debate Club on your second week as a student. A Wolf Shifter had gotten into a heated argument with a Vampire about the toppings that should and shouldn't be on a pizza.
So yeah, typical college life with magic thrown into your daily shenanigans.
Today, you can't help but wonder what sort of excitement would occur as the large clock above the lecture hall ticks by, counting down the second before the class is over.
You check the clock and sigh. Just ten more minutes to go, but it feels like time is creeping forward at such a snail-like pace. Tapping your pen on the open notebook laid before you rather irritability, you just want the lecturer to stop yammering already so you can grab lunch at the food truck parked outside of campus.
Something gently knocks against your knuckle. You tilt your head to the side and meet with Damien's unamused stare; it looks like this is the third time he caught you losing focus in class.
"I told you to grab a snack before class started." Damien whispers, mindful to keep his voice even so the lecturer won't catch them chatting. Sadism Daemons are scary when you piss them off, and the way the lecturer's eyes sweep through the students is more than enough to have them all shut the hell up the moment he begins their topic of the day.
"I was meeting up with Lasko and we lost track of time." You hiss back. Yesterday you made a promise to catch up with the Air Elemental before your first class started to organise the date and invitations for the next game night. Once Lasko starts talking about the things he's comfortable with, he loses his stutter and launches into an animated one-sided conversation. You didn't have the heart to stop him, not when he looks so happy and cute.
Buying that Arkham Horror board game was the right purchase to surprise him with.
While your mind replays the morning you spend with Lasko, Damien rolls his eyes. "Of course you did. Here." He pushes his coffee cup towards you. His fingers linger on the cup for a few seconds to make sure that the coffee remains hot enough to drink.
You grab the cup, grateful for his consideration, and take a big swing. The coffee settles pleasantly in your stomach as warmth spreads within your body.
You're more a tea drinker - the classic Early Grey and Gunpowder Green - but at this instance, coffee would hopefully kick your focus back into gear.
"Thanks, Damien." You said before passing the cup back to him. You peeked at his notebook and wasn't surprised to find that it's packed with notes written in different coloured pens. "Hey, want to grab lunch together after this?"
Damien switched the yellow pen for a red one when the lecturer mentioned something about a topic for the upcoming test. You absentmindedly wondered if it's worth your life stealing his notebook. "Sure. What are you in the mood for?" He asked.
Finally, the lecturer dismisses the class. Chatters erupt as students pack up while some scurry over to the podium to ask a few questions.
You lean against your seat to stretch your back; your notebooks and stationery are already in your school backpack. You're just waiting for Damien now. "I'm craving for a burger and some cheesy loaded fries with a boba tea." God, just thinking about it is already enough to make your mouth watered.
Being a health nut, Damien throws you a judgemental look at your food choice as you two made your way towards the main campus entrance. He easily follows your lead through a crowd of students, and Damien even gently pulls you closer to his side when a student whizzes by on her skateboard.
With so many people talking and laughing around you and Damien, you can't help but hear the conversations hovering around you.
"...had class with them yesterday? Dude, you're so lucky! Did you sit beside them!?"
"Are you fucking crazy? No! I sat two rows behind them, but it was enough to smell their perfume. God, they're so gorgeous - I couldn't focus the entire time!"
"I've heard a few players from the Earth Elemental team tried to invite them to their party this weekend, but they were shot down. Apply cold water on burned area."
"Well, duh. You can't just walk up to them like that! They're one of the hottest people in this academy."
"Yeah, but those players are in one of the most well-respected sports teams in all of Dahlia, and even they can't stand a chance against them!"
Students parted ways as you and Damien approached the gates. Rows of food trucks parked across the street with tables and chairs placed about. The conversations tapered off behind you, along with the hubbub of the academy. You have a pretty good idea of whom those students were talking about. It's been a topic surrounding the academy ever since the start of the new academic year.
Even as an introvert who prefers to hover to your few but close group of friends, you couldn't escape the latest academy gossip.
"Finally, I thought my ears would've fallen off before we could escape," Damien mutters. It's a cloudy Wednesday; dark clouds are rolling above them with an occasional burst of strong breeze cutting through. "You'd think they would just give it a rest already."
The food truck you and Damien stop by displays a menu with a wide variety of food and drinks. From burgers to pasta and desserts ranging from ice-creams to Thai banana pancakes, your stomach begins to growl. You place your order in a hurry, whereas Damien selects a hearty sandwich stuffed with juicy and tender slices of slow-smoked beef brisket with veggies of his choice and chipotle mayo in between two crusty loaves with a bottle of water.
You and Damien grab your meals to sit at one of the vacant tables and enjoy lunch together. Good food and good company - what more could you ask for? Well, other than Damien's tsk-ing and wiping the barbecue sauce that smudged the corner of your cheek like the mother hen he constantly denies to be.
"Can't you eat your food properly, Freelancer? You're getting your fingers dirty too. Give me your hand." Damien demanded halfway through his sandwich. You grin impishly and offer your left hand for Damien to wipe with some tissue while the other is holding a burger. The thick sauce begins to drip.
Soon enough, a familiar voice shouts at them from across the street.
"Yo, Damien! Freelancer! Are you guys, like, having lunch? Can I join!?"
You can't help but beam and wave your hand (that was still holding the burger) high up when Huxley crosses over. Damien squawked with eyes wide in horror when the barbecue sauce got all over the table. He hurried to wipe the table clean while you greeted Huxley.
"Hi, Huxley! Are you grabbing lunch too? Take a seat, man!"
"Thanks a bunch, dude. It's been a while since I hung out with you two."
"We literally had a class together two days ago."
"Two days too long, Damien. I miss you guys."
"Aww, that's super sweet of you, Hux!"
"Oh, for the love of - just go buy something already before the next class starts."
Huxley happily gives Damien two thumbs up before grabbing his food and drink. When he returned to their table, he brought a tray of smoothie consisting of kale, spinach, banana, orange, and vanilla blended into green mush in a plastic cup and a plate of vegan quesadillas.
The moment Huxley sat down, you took a sip of his drink and made a face.
"Yeah, I ask them to hold back on the honey because I like the vanilla more," Huxley explains before tucking in. "Oh! But I can ask them to add more honey if you want. That’s like, totally cool."
You quickly shake your head and clean your palate with your sweet boba tea. "It's cool, Hux. Just wanted to try a sip. You're really into these crazy healthy smoothies."
"They're the bomb, dude. My Mums introduced a few recipes to me when I was a kid, and I basically hooked ever since." The Earth Elemental explains after gulping down a good chunk of the green goo.
"Yeah, well, with the calories you burned up during practice, I guess you can't go wrong with smoothies," Damien added thoughtfully. His sandwich is all gone. He props an elbow on the table and cradles his face in one open palm. "Anyway, what's up, Huxley? Anything new happened?"
"Nah, it's been nothing but the same shit lately. Classes, assignments and practices for the upcoming Elemental & Energetic Games - normal stuff. What about you guys?"
"More or less the same." Damien replies, soundly ignoring your "We're hitting the tournament arc!" outburst. "Planning to organise a study group for the upcoming tests. I expect the two of you will be joining, by the way."
At Damien's words, Huxley beams brighter. Any brighter, you'd need a pair of sunglasses. "For real, dude!? You're like, the best friend ever, Damien! C'mere - lemme give you a hug!"
You snicker when despite Damien's frantic protest, Huxley shoot up from his chair and quickly hugs the Fire Elemental tightly before he has the chance to weasel away.
Also, you didn't miss the chance to snap a quick picture of them to show Gavin tonight.
Unaware of your phone, Damien grumbled when Huxley finally released him, and they sat down again. The three of you continue to chat about everything and anything. Soon, the topic shifts from tests to plans for the weekend.
Huxley snapped his fingers when you mentioned Lasko's gaming night and the tabletop game you recently bought for him so they could all play together.
"I totally forgot about the party! A few guys in my team are having a party this Saturday, and I want to invite you guys and Lasko. Oh! Gavin too! It's going to be a blast, and on Sunday, we can play that new board game."
You and Damien exchange a glance. "Sounds fun. Actually, we've heard about the party just now. How many people are your team members inviting?" You asked, curious.
Huxley takes a moment to ponder before shrugging. He's nearly done with this food. "It's supposed to be just with a few close friends. Nothing too crazy, you know? After the last party that ended with fireworks exploding in someone's bedroom, they want to keep it lowkey."
"Huh. Close friends, but they tried to invite a certain Energetic," Damien interjects. "What's up with that?"
"You heard about that too?" Huxley replied, surprise coloured his tone. "Word travel like, super-fast around campus! It happened, like, yesterday morning!"
Damien let out an annoyed groan and ran a palm down his face. "I think it's safe to say that everyone in this fucking academy is talking about it and nothing else. God, no matter where you go, you can't escape it."
You pat Damien's arm in a comforting manner. "They're hot and popular; people will be talking about them until we all graduate."
"And if it isn't them, people would be talking about their boyfriend," Huxley pointed out, stirring his smoothie languidly. Huxley smiles and offers it to you when you critically stare at it for a tad too long. Against your better judgement, you try again.
Blek! It still tastes the same! Huxley just chuckles and finishes the rest of the smoothie while you seek solace with your boba tea again.
"Besides, it's not often you see an Energetic and Vampire couple walking around," Huxley continued. "I think they're living together too. I mean, that's what I heard."
"Don't tell me you also have a crush on them."
Before Huxley could say anything, you tentatively raise your hand as if you guys are in class. Now you bear Damien's annoyed glance. "I was kinda hardcore crushing on them and their boyfriend before Gavin and I officially got together. They keep to themselves and their boyfriend most of the time, but they're super nice in classes."
The Elemental and Energetic courses often have classes that intermingle every week. However, they're primarily compulsory lessons like magical history, laws regarding coverts and taxonomy of various Empowered creatures.
So you're practically classmates with the hottest Electro Energetic in the academy and had even sat beside them a few times during class. Unlike many of the students who simp for them at a distance.
The power couple of D.A.M.N is certainly interesting, to say the least.
You narrowed your eyes at Damien when he refused to let up his disappointed stare. "Don't lie to me. You simp for them too."
Damien huffs and crosses his arms. "Both of them look good, alright. Anyone with a working pair of eyes could tell from a mile away. They're gorgeous, and the Vampire is hot - so what?"
"They're both super strong too." Huxley unknowingly throws more wood into the fire.
By the time their lunch ended, Damien had demanded they talk about something else, so you jump into plans for the weekend. Party on Saturday and a gaming session on Sunday.
Typical college life.
-
When the time on your phone displays 10.30 PM in glaring bright light and you're still on campus, you know what death feels like.
It's quiet in the cafeteria, save for a small group of students huddled together around tables scattered in various places. Their heads are hunched down as they go over textbooks and assignments. One of the students happens to be a Vampire judging from the blood bag beside his laptop.
A red swirly straw juts out of the bag, and for a brief moment of exhaustion, you entertain the image of the student sipping the blood bag as if it was a Capri Sun.
Just like those students, the reason why you've stayed late in the academy's cafeteria is because of assignments. You know that if you bring your homework back home with you, you won't get any of it done. It's better to stay here and slough through them instead.
Damien would scold and drag you home if he knew. Huxley would be sad and plead for you to rest, and Lasko would put on his guidance counsellor voice and advise you that a good night's sleep would help you think better.
The boys mean well, and you love them for it, but you know yourself better than anyone. If you don't finish these assignments tonight, you would just procrastinate until the deadline punches you right in the face.
You sigh and rub your temple in frustration. You've made good progress so far, but there's still a few left and you want to complete them all before going home. So you resume writing down the essay about the importance of convert and the Department on your laptop, fingers deftly flying all over the keyboard.
Nighttime at D.A.M.N is not as busy as it is in the morning. The students that are going in and out of classes are mostly Vampires and nocturnal animal Shifters. The academy's faculties are also lesser in terms of numbers compared to their morning counterpart.
Twice you've experienced the nightlife at D.A.M.N, and tonight would be your third. You wondered if Gavin is at home already. Hopefully, you can return to the apartment before him. Better wrap this up, then.
The steady rhythm of your fingers on the keyboard and quiet discussion from the group of students slowly lull you to sleep. Hang in there just a little more!
The sound of a Daemon Rifting into this world startles you awake.
"Here you are, Deviant," Gavin said, his ordinarily seductive voice laced with conceal anger. Oh shit, you're in trouble now. "I thought we talked about this."
You have no choice but to face him. Gavin looks devastatingly as sexy as ever; his black t-shirt snugly fits his body to the point that it showcases his biceps tastefully. A pair of dark blue jeans that he just so happens knows will get your heart racing and accompanied by a pair of shiny black Doc Martens boots. A rainbow-coloured bead bracelet is on his right wrist; a gift from Caelum.
You would've swoon at the sight of him if you weren't seconds away from face planting on your laptop.
So instead, you greet him with a, "Whaaa... Gavin?" You rub your eyes and blink at him. "W-What are you doing here? I thought you'd be - " You break out a yawn before sighing. "At home by now."
"Funny. I thought the same thing about you but colour me surprised when Caelum reached out to me while I was grocery shopping — saying that you aren't home even when it's close to midnight." Gavin explains and tilts his head to the spread of books you have before you. "So, want to explain why you're at the campus cafeteria right now instead of in our bed?"
The gears in your head are scrambling to come up with an excuse that's good enough to appease Gavin. So lost in your thoughts that you didn't hear the whispers coming from the nearby students.
"That's the main boyfriend..."
"Holy fuck, an Incubus? Damn, they're insatiable!"
"How often do you think they have orgies? Twice a week?"
" - collecting them like Pokemon!"
Oh fuck it, you can't come up with anything decent. "I'm nearly done with my assignments, Gavin." You assured the worried Incubus. "Just need to write down a few more paragraphs..."
Gavin is undeterred. "Freelancer, we talked about this. It's not healthy that you're making a habit of staying over at campus late at night because of assignments. You're going to burn out like this."
Well yeah, you could feel your body is already seconds away from collapsing but like hell would you admit that to your boyfriend. It's been a long day and an even longer evening. It's a good thing that tomorrow's the weekend.
Gavin startles you once more by leaning against the table and cupping your face in his large hands, so you're forced to look straight into his eyes. He's many things, but to those he deeply trusts and loves, his eyes would always betray the worry and concern he has for you and Caelum; even if his words aren't as forthcoming at times. "My stubborn, enticing Deviant... Are you being a brat again? Not listening to your Dom like you should be?" He purrs.
All of a sudden, your throat suddenly feels like sandpaper, and your heart skips a beat at Gavin's tone. You're very familiar with that tone - it always promises punishment and pleasure mixed together until nothing else exists except for your boyfriend.
But the question now is, how far can you actually push him. So with Gavin still refusing to release your face, you swallow and reply as nonchalantly as you can, "Oh, I don't know about enticing, Gavin. I-I mean, I've been running around campus the whole day. Probably have some barbecue sauce stain on my jacket and - Ow!"
You puff out your cheeks when Gavin pinched them.
"Are you purposely trying to test me, Freelancer? You know that just means more fun for me, and you tie up and helpless on the bed, right?" Gavin is all too happy to remind you, cocking one eyebrow at your impertinence. No doubt he already has your punishment in mind when the two of you are home.
But you're not going to budge that easily. Sensing your stubbornness, Gavin lets you go and unleashes his ultimate move with a sigh.
"I can see the Knots on you, Freelancer, and if I can see them, Caelum can too. I'm not covering your ass when he comes over for breakfast tomorrow and starts crying."
You gasp and immediately recoil. "Low blow Gavin!" You counter, but you know that he speaks the truth. Your heart will literally break if you're the reason that Caelum cries.
Gavin smirks when you switch off your laptop. He helps put your things away and offers a hand to you. With a small smile, you let yourself be gently pulled up by him and sling your backpack over a shoulder.
"Are you hungry?" Gavin asked as the two of you stepped into the large hallway, hand-in-hand. "I didn't manage to make anything when I put the groceries away, but I can whip something up real quick when we get home."
It's a sweet gesture, and you made sure that he knows how much you appreciate it by squeezing his hand. Ever since you two started living together, Gavin is determined to feed you properly. According to him, it's only fitting since you've constantly been feeding him too. "I'm more sleepy than hungry." You reply after a yawn. "I'll just eat a big breakfast tomorrow."
"I'll hold you to it. Also, look alive, Deviant. Hottie approaching at 12 O'clock."
That got your attention immediately, and snapped your eyes forward. Your jaw would've dropped if it weren't for Gavin lightly nudging your side when you saw who was walking towards the two of you.
It's them — the Electro Energetic that became the talk around campus.
They're as breathtaking as ever, even after a whole day of classes and club activities. Not a single hair out of place and clothes unruffled. Their body language stood out to you; their gait is a little hesitant but friendly, while their eyes are kind.
It's easy to see why so many people harbour crushes on them, and you've always been a sucker for cute faces.
When they finally approach you, they pull out a pair of wireless white earbuds from their ears. That's when you hear intense music playing:
It's the Pumpkin Patch King
With the corpse with the ring
And she'd fuck my best friend if I die here today...
"Um, hi. Good evening. I'm sorry for bothering you guys so late like this. Are you heading home?" They inquire tentatively.
Gavin waits for you to take the lead. "Hey, man. Yeah, we kind of are, actually. Want us to walk you home?" You could feel how pleased Gavin is beside you. The offer just crosses your mind, and besides, it's not nice to walk alone this late at night.
That's what you're telling yourself despite the small part in your brain whispered that walking them home would be a great step of getting to know them better. It's just a harmless crush anyway.
Unfortunately, they decline the offer. "I'm waiting for someone, actually, but when I saw you, I wanted to talk for a bit."
Your heart skips a beat for a second time tonight. They specifically sought you out? You? When they've never done so towards anyone before?
"O-Oh," You embarrassingly squeak, clutching Gavin's hand tighter.
The Electro Energetic nod. They tilt their head like an indulged, curious cat and god, that simple gesture shouldn't look so hot. "I don't know if you notice me, but we share Covert Laws - "
If you notice them? If you notice them!? They have a stronger presence than the lecturers themselves! They radiate magic like thunderstorms - intimidating, powerful and commanding that you have no choice but to submit to it.
Sitting beside them was an experience and a half! There's no way an Empowered creature could ignore them despite their quiet demeanour!
" - and I was wondering if you would like to be partners for the final project this year? Um, I heard that you're really good in that class, and I promise to pull my weight with the research and - "
You don't know how to react. Is this really happening? One of the most popular students in the academy wanted to be your project partner? You thought this sort of situation only occurs in animes!
"They'd love to." Gavin smoothly answers when you're too shocked to say anything. "It's always nice to make new friends after all. Especially with a walking wet dream such as yourself." Here, he purposely pauses to appraise the Electro Energetic.
Just like his Freelancer, Gavin has heard all about this Empowered human and even basks in the delicious energy coming from the thoughts and emotions his partner has for them. As an Incubus and their boyfriend, it's hilarious that his Deviant thought he's not aware of their crush. It's cute.
Hmm... it'll be nice if he and the Freelancer could invite the Energetic and their Vampire lover into their bed one of these days. Regardless if they've been Marked; honestly, that just made the couple as appealing as the biblical Forbidden Fruit.
And besides, Gavin has a strong feeling that the Freelancer wouldn't oppose the idea. It'll be the perfect anniversary present for his Deviant.
"...Was that supposed to be a compliment?" They ask warily. Oops, looks like he's coming on a little too strongly. Time to take it down a notch.
"It's whatever you want it to be. Anyway, now that you guys are... partners, what say you get to know us better, hmm? My lover has been eager to be friends with you." Gavin explains. You whip your head at him incredulously. Is he seriously doing what you think he's doing!? "I'm Gavin, by the way. It's a pleasure to finally meet you."
The Energetic look confused, and you can't blame them. You need to save them before Gavin proposes something as crazy as an orgy on your behalf!
You laugh awkwardly, bringing their attention to you. "Right! Partners! I'd love to be yours - I-I mean, uh, for school stuff! Yeah! Can we exchange numbers?"
"Smooth, Deviant." Gavin teases. Something caught his interest, not that you notice as you and the Energetic trade contact information. They compliment the cute picture you have as your Home Screen (it's a selfie shot of you and Gavin, Lasko, Damien and Huxley during the previous game night. It's a shame that Caelum couldn't appear), and in return, you ask where did they buy their sick phone cover.
While they still feel like the human embodiment of a fierce thunderstorm, it's nice to have a casual conversation with them. They're thoughtful, kind and fun that you soon find yourself calming down a little.
"Not to cut this riveting conversation short, but are you sure that you don't want us to walk you home? It's getting really late, and we're more than happy to have you crash at our place for the night." Gavin interjects with a seductive grin, eyes half-lidded.
"Umm..."
Whoa, what happened to being friendly, Gavin!? You shoot him a look; he's going to drive them away!
"We have an extra guest room at our apartment." You hurried to explain. "So it's totally cool if your place is far away or something."
Their hesitation melts to understanding. The last thing that you want is a misunderstanding between you two.
"You guys are sweet, but I'll be alright. Actually, I'm about to leave the campus too. I'm just going to hang out at the cafeteria until he arrives." They said. You have a pretty good idea who 'he' is judging by their soft smile.
Gavin, for some reason, amp up his game. With a smirk, he cajoles, "Since he hasn't shown up yet, how about you hang out with us for a bit? There's a bar not too far from here - "
You flinched, and Gavin automatically shuts up and pulls you close to his side when a Vampire appears behind the Electro Energetic. It was so sudden that his appearance was a blur at first.
"Vincent? You're done with class already?" They blink. An arm snaked around their waist as the Vampire pulled his Mate close to his chest. The Energetic had to crane their head up slightly to look at him.
He's as tall as Gavin. Dressed in a casual black coat that screams money with a dark grey shirt accompanied by a pair of black jeans and boots. His silver studs, rings and watch glimmer underneath the fluorescent lights. Everything about this man reminds you of a panther sizing up its prey.
You gulped. He's currently glaring daggers at you and your boyfriend. You're itching to stutter out a, "This isn't what it looks like!" for some reason.
Now, ever since you learned about the existence of magic and Empowered creatures, you did your best to be open-minded. Even that whole ordeal with Vega didn't stop you from reaching out to the various Daemons attending the academy.
However, you haven't managed to befriend a Vampire due to their night classes, and even the few times you stay back like today, most of them are running back and forth through the hallways to catch their next lesson.
So to be the target of a pissed off Vampire made you uncomfortable. You want to fidget, but Gavin's arm secured around you ease some of that tension.
"Mm-hmm. I'm on break right now, so I can drive you back home. You done with that talk with your guidance counsellor?" The Vampire inquired, eyes still glued at you and Gavin.
"All done. We lost track of time when we discussed next semester's timetable for the Energetic course and potential careers once we graduate." His lover explains, unaware of the displeasure rolling off like waves from their boyfriend. "I think I need some time to go over them again. It's a bit much to take in."
The Vampire hums in acknowledgement. "We can go through them together this weekend if you like, Lovely. Maybe we can ask Will for help since he's coming over on Saturday for dinner too."
Oh, you suppose that's why they reject the Earth Elemental players' invitation to the party.
But the Vampire wasn't done. He assesses you and Gavin with narrowed eyes as if you were stains on the bottom of his boots. What the hell? "By the way, are these guys bothering you?"
A chill sweeps through you, sending goosebumps crawling on your skin at the sudden shift of tone. He was warm and affectionate when speaking to his lover, but now? It's colder than ice.
Gavin, whose smirk turns into a shit-eating grin, is utterly unfazed at the Vampire's hostility. In fact, you would go as far as to say that he's relishing it. "We're just keeping your gorgeous Mate company while they're waiting for you. I was just about to propose that we move the conversation to a bar so we could all get to know one another a lot more... intimately."
Oh god, they're so fucked. You have no idea why your boyfriend is trying to start shit up, but you're too tired to deal with this drama. So again, you try to salvage the situation.
"Just as friends!" You quickly butt in. "We decide to be partners for an assignment in Covert Laws, so hanging out at a bar sounds like a good idea as friends." You're sprouting bullshits at this point, but you hope it's enough to save both of your asses. You also made sure to emphasise the word 'friends'.
The Vampire quickly looks at the Energetic for confirmation, and they readily nod. His aggressive body posture relaxes somewhat, but he's still wary of you and Gavin.
Maybe this is the best time to introduce yourself to him.
"Uh, it's a little silly that we didn't introduce ourselves right away, but I'm a Freelancer." You mutter out rather awkwardly. Should you offer a hand to him?
Gavin saves you from doing so. "And I’m their boyfriend, Gavin. An Incubus."
"...Vincent Solaire." The Vampire - Vincent - reluctantly replies.
Wait - his surname sounds familiar, though. You think you heard it in one of the classes about the supernatural factions in Dahlia... It's on the tip of your tongue...
"Oh, we've heard all about you, Your Highness." Gavin slyly quips. "You and your lover are quite the celebrities around here."
Holy shit. Solaire! The most powerful Vampire clan in the city! You remember now; the King has two progeny - A Vampire Princess & Prince. You didn't expect the Energetic boyfriend to be the Prince himself! What a twist!
"Celebrities?" The Energetic - Lovely, as Vincent calls them - pipes up in confusion. The way their eyebrows furrow is adorable, but you wisely keep that to yourself.
They really are a mesmerising couple. You detect the perfume that lingers around Lovely is sweet and misty. It's calming yet so light that it dances just out of your reach; like a coy lover. Slowly driving you mad with desire. Vincent's cologne reminds you of husk and cedar. Subtle, but once you catch a whiff of it, it'll stay within your mind for hours on end. Wondering if that particular scent will ever return - like the perfect one night stand.
It says a lot about the couple.
"We haven't done anything wrong." Vincent Solaire stated, voice as hard as steel. "I don't know why you're trying to rile us up, Incubus, but I don't appreciate you and your lover hitting on my Mate when I made it clear that I Mark them."
Ooooh, he's jealous! Wait - did you come across as flirty to him!? Did Gavin purposely flirt with Lovely to make Vincent jealous? You've completely lost the plot.
"Consider it as an act of public service," Gavin answers, easily brushing off the Vampire Prince's irritability. "Besides, how can I not when you both are half of the student body's recent fantasies."
Lovely 'eeped' when Vincent bare his fangs at your boyfriend. "Back off, Gavin. Lovely is mine. Not yours or the Freelancer's."
Whoa, whoa! A severe misunderstanding is boiling here! No one is stealing Lovely away from him!
Fortunately, Lovely has gotten tired of the conversation. With a put-out sigh, they pat the arm around their waist to capture Vincent's attention. It worked. "No one is stealing the other's partner, Vince. It's all good; chill. You know you're the only one for me, right?" Here, they peck his cheek. "When did you get so possessive?"
Vincent grumbled but didn't explain himself, so Lovely just shook their head.
"Anyway, we better get going before Vincent's next class starts. It was nice meeting you two. I'll text you soon so we can plan on how to tackle that project."
You give a shaky smile and a thumbs up. "Looking forward to it."
Immediately after you said that, Vincent bares his fangs to you next. Oh my god, this guy needs to fucking relax!
"We're going! We're going! C'mon, Vincent. You're driving me home. Now."
And with that, you watch as Lovely drags the Vampire Prince to the parking lot. It's a strange yet comical sight. You only sigh in relief when they're out of your view.
"I thought I saw my life flashing before my eyes!" You complain. Those were the single most stressful moments that you’ve encountered— second to Vega invading your home.
"I think that went well, Deviant." Gavin objected, very pleased with himself. "He's pissed now, but he and his Mate will be thanking us soon."
So you were right; Gavin purposely flirted with Lovely just to rile Vincent up, and for what? Possessive, sexy time later tonight? Oh, whatever. That's enough drama for one night; you seriously just need to pass out now.
And with that, the two of you head home without realising your interactions with the power couple of D.A.M.N didn't go by unnoticed by the several students who were hovering close.
-
"Are you hurting anywhere, Lovely?"
"I'm alright, Vincent. The hickeys and bruises are healing nicely; my body still feels a bit sore but not enough to cripple me, so stop hovering near the door."
Vincent guilty did as he’s told and takes a seat on the corner of the bed. He watches you apply some light makeup on your face and neck in front of the vanity table as you're getting ready to head out to the academy. Your outfit compliments your look and, most importantly, hides any patches of skin except for your hands.
Vincent really went all out last weekend after his night classes ended. It's obvious that Gavin unleashed something within your lover, and you will freely admit that an unrestrained Vincent makes for a very fun and wild night.
The moment Will came over and realised that Vincent re-Mark you an hour before he arrives, he graciously decided to take a rain check and promise to have dinner with the two of you some other time.
Once Vincent gets it out of his system, he teased before leaving you gobsmacked and Vincent a blushing mess.
"You know, your guidance counsellor wouldn't mind if you're absent from classes today, Lovely. Probably." Vincent tries; a part of him doesn't want his Lovely to attend their lessons while their body is still healing. Then again, that part also whispers that the Incubus and his lover would be around them without his supervision.
Nope. No. Bad Vincent. Lovely is more than capable of taking care of themselves. They don't need him acting like a jealous, clingy boyfriend.
However, something that the Incubus bothered him.
"You and your lover are quite the celebrities around here."
What did he mean by that? He and Lovely had been playing good students the entire time they've been on campus! Their assignments are always delivered on time, grades nothing but above average, and they keep to themselves to avoid any typical college dramas.
Is it because of his status? For some reason, Vincent feels like it's more complicated than that. What a headache.
"Maybe, but I did promise the Freelancer that I’ll catch up with them to discuss our project," You commented and spritz your favourite perfume on your wrists and neck. You love this scent, despite it being cheap and common. "Vincent, honey, you're making that face again."
"It's my face, Lovely."
"Yeah, well, you have your happy-snappy-neck face again, Vincent." You dryly point out before sitting beside the Vampire. "Did that Incubus really rub you the wrong way?" Your voice is gentle. You didn't get any bad vibes coming from Gavin and the Freelancer - just genuine, harmless, friendly flirting. In a way, you welcome it as their attempts helped you drive your anxiety away.
God, walking up to them was hard enough. You always feel a little intimidated whenever you're around charismatic people.
"I don't know... I thought they were making you nervous, and the words that kept coming out of that Daemon's mouth? He knew what he was doing; I just can't figure out what or why." Vincent admits, frustrated.
Seeing him look so frustrated saddens you, so you propose a suggestion. "How about this, I'll ask the Freelancer what that whole thing on Friday was all about, and if it's anything gross, I'll give you a call so you can deal with them. How's that?"
It assured Vincent. Seeing his tiny smile urge you to peppered his face with kisses until he laughs. With your boyfriend now properly appeased, you leave the apartment for D.A.M.N.
It's a bright Monday morning. You hope that this week will be a little kinder to you than the previous one. However, the moment you arrived on campus, everyone was glancing at you curiously. When you made eye contact with the stares, the students couldn't walk away fast enough.
Weird.
Your first class of the day is on the second floor, so you didn't waste any time heading for the stairs. Students mingle around as they go about their day; some grab breakfast at the convenient store, while others chat with their friends at the cafeteria and lounge room. A Water Elemental is performing simple tricks at the marble fountain to an adoring crowd.
Just as you rounded a corner, the crowd parted ways with a subtlety of a serial killer in slasher movies, which is to say, absolutely none whatsoever to reveal your new friend. The Freelancer is flanked by their boyfriend, Gavin, on the left and on their right, the famous player in the Earth Elemental team Huxley and one of the academy's guidance counsellors, Lasko.
You couldn't help but notice that everyone is giving them a wide berth. Not that it matters when Gavin's body is positioned to shield the Freelancer from bumping into any of the passing students. Huxley passes a bottle of orange juice to them while Lasko is staring at something behind the Freelancer. He mutters something under his breath.
A loud voice suddenly bounces off the walls. "What happened to my water tumbler, Freelancer!?"
You and every other student in the area watch as the Freelancer turns around and loudly replies, "Don't worry! I already got you a new tumbler, Damien! It looks exactly like your old one. Except it's pastel pink with kittens on it, and the shape looks like a really fat snowman with bunny ears for straws." To make a point, the Freelancer rummage inside of their backpack and proudly present the weirdest looking water tumbler you had ever seen in your life to their boys.
"AAAAAHHHHH!"
"You know you could at least see it before you judge it, Damien." The Freelancer grumbled and shoved the tumbler back. Huxley gently pats their shoulder in a comforting manner. Lasko laughs nervously while Gavin continues to protect his lover silently, all the while looking at ease.
Everyone knows of the Freelancer and their boyfriends. They're the most popular group in D.A.M.N for a reason. Friendly, yet no one can be a part of their group due to the tight bond they have with one another.
The Freelancer is quickly shaping up to be a remarkable magical individual in their own right, marching to the beat of their own drums rather than the world's. Unwaveringly kind and friendly, constantly making sure the people around them are comfortable and safe.
In terms of academic performance, Damien remains unchallenged among his peers. Everyone could tell that he would undoubtedly change their world for the better the moment he graduates, especially in governing. He's also known for his fiery temper, yet that fire becomes a hearth when it comes to the Freelancer. More than once, students have stumbled upon them huddled close in the library, softly discussing the future they wanted.
If Damien is known for his academic excellence, then Huxley is famous for his prowess in the field. His mastery over his element made the younger Earth Elementals look up to him as their role model while his teammates view him as their ace. Charming, cheerful yet a bit absentminded at times, and even then, you can't help but be fond of him. You can find the Freelancer cheering him from the bleachers during his matches, and once Huxley won the game, he would immediately launch himself at them. Sweats, dirt and grass all over him, but the Freelancer would laugh as he hoisted them up in his embrace.
Lasko is an odd addition to their group, but once he drops his stuttering, he shows just how capable he is as one of the academy's guidance counsellors. Acknowledged as one of the most powerful Air Elemental of his generation, Lasko is well on track to graduate D.A.M.N with honours, and while the future might be uncertain, students like to speculate that he will remain with the Freelancer and the others no matter what. Sometimes you can even catch a glimpse of them hanging out at one of the local cafes and see how bright and alive Lasko can be when around the Freelancer.
Gavin came with a mystery trailing his saunter. See, no one knew how exactly he and the Freelancer first met. Speculations range from a cute, accidental meet up in a random convenience store to the Incubus boldly inviting them into a threesome when the Freelancer stumbled upon him mid-feeding. Lovely wonders if there's a betting pool going around the academy. The seniors would recognise Gavin, for he was their peer before he suddenly dropped out and vanished for a while. But judging by his frequent presence around the Freelancer, some say that he's looking forward to retaking his previous course. But whatever the reason may be, no one can deny the chemistry he has with the Freelancer. How fiercely protective he is of them when the Freelancer isn't looking.
They're certainly an intriguing group, that's for sure.
And when Gavin notices you were watching them, he winks at you. No doubt as an Incubus, he could scent what you and Vincent had been up to the entire weekend.
That's what you get for a magical academy, after all.
-
PS: Everyone in D.A.M.N (including Lovely & Vincent) hilariously assumes that the Freelancer is in a poly relationship with Gavin, Damien, Lasko & Huxley when in reality, they're just with Gavin. BBBBuuuttt... Gavin could detect the romantic/lustful feelings the other bois harbour for the Freelancer but kept it to himself for now. He's just waiting for the Freelancer to feel the same way so he could give them all The Talk™ and then go buy a bigger bed!
Anyway, I seriously had a lot of fun writing for this oneshot! It's been a while since I had that writing fever again so I hope you guys enjoyed it!
#redacted asmr#fanfic#second pov#they/them pronouns#gender neutral s/o#lovely (listener)#freelancer (listener)#vincent solaire#game#damien#huxley#will and caelum are mentioned
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Things I’ve heard high schoolers say pt 1
-Person:I don't want to go to college. I want to join a rock band.
-Person 1: A dangerous pogo stick
Person 2: Do you mean a jackhammer?
-Person 1: I only have five minutes, what can I do in five minutes!?
Person 2: Masturbate
Person 3: Dab
-*Person 1 snaps fingers in a Z formation and points* No.
-Person: It's the computer Jesus.
Person: I’m okay with being the human embodiment of a cookie recipe.
-Person: Her eyes were as blue as... the color blue.
-Person: angrily clicks pen
-Person: Fight me *said while dabbing*
-Person: Did you just assume the gender of that table?
-Person: How does that child have popcorn! It's Wednesday!
-Person: Yo no speako Shakespearean Englisho.
-Person: I AM looking at an AC! *shouted across campus during finals week*
-Person: You fancy English tomboy! *shouted during an argument*
-Person: The salt the salt it burns! *followed by horrendous screaming and someone collapsing on the ground*
-Person 1: It's spiky.
Person 2: Depression?
Person 1: No a porcupine.
-Person: I don't know what fake tan you put on, but you’re not brown. *Indian girl to another Indian girl when one thought a food was spicy*
-Person: Thicce. When she thicc but she French. *pronounced thick-ay*
-Person: Everything's breaking and falling apart. *cue a chorus of 'my life' and 'same'*
-Person: I searched up the word 'search'. Nailed it!
-Person: *to the tune of making my way downtown* Make a meringue right now.
-Person: Legiterally. *legit +literally*
-Person: See, the problem is, I don’t want to.
-Person: We're boycotting Amazon. Siri play despacito.
-Person: Dishwashers are just machines from the evil overlords. You don't do the dishes, the dishes do you.
-Person: It makes me want to dig my own eyeballs out of my sockets and eat them but I'm fine.
-Person 1: Is this strawberry jam?
Person 2: Yes
Person 1: Ehhh I'm allergic but it's fine.
-Person: You human bobby pin.
-Person: Technically, Fire trucks are just giant water guns.
-Person 1: But what happens if you take helium and sulfur hexafluoride at the same time?
Person 2: You die.
-Person: I want to breath fire like the dragon that I am.
-Person: (girls name)! Stop trying to graph life!
-Person 1: Great I’m a pterodactyl with 3D printers for ears.
Person 2: Oh my god it’s me!
-Person: I will consume your soul!!!
-Person 1: Did you just fall and accept it?
Person 2: Yes.
-Person: Dang. Life is just crunchy.
-Person: I relate to that shoe, because I am also alone in this world.
-Person: Being alive is to0 much of a commitment. TBH I have enough commitment issues as it is and I’m just not fully committed to this whole life thing.
-Person: Swiper no swiping! *shouted as another student tried to steal their water bottle
-Person: (persons name), you either have to solve the problem, or you have to stop whining and ignore it. That’s how life works.
-Person: I want an emotional support komodo dragon to emotionally support me by killing my enemies.
-Person 1: Move the table by (mans name).
Person 2: What? Physically?
Person 1: No, mentally… of course physically (person’s name)!
-Person: What do they speak in Brazil? Brazilian?
-Person: I’m not going to have five kids fuck you buzzfeed.
-Person: How many calories are in a Pringles container? Cause I just ate all of them.
-Person: I could listen to him say penguin forever. If someone ever says penguin as good as he does I’ll just….
-Person: And then his reply just savaged me yeah!? I just want him to like me.
-Person: Me watching my life fall apart like ‘that’s a shame’.
-Person: Carry yourself upstairs! For gods sake (person’s name) it’s not that difficult!!
-Person: Do I look like the basic gluten free white bitch? Okay I thought so.
-Person: How could I give up on life when I never even lived it in the first place?
-Person: Have you ever gotten into a TED talk spiral? Like just a spiral of knowledge and inspiration?
-Person: You don’t know true fear until you almost drop your laptop without its case.
-Person: So they just yeet you into the water when you die.”
-Person: And in that moment she made four very straight girls turn gay for five seconds. That’s how fine she was.
-Person 1: Why is the sky screaming?
*thunder*
Person 2:It probably has cramps.
-Person: I’m here, I’m queer, and I shall be scoping you my dear.
-Person: You. 20-20. Vision. Person. Gah!
-Person: I guess I’ll just phase through the walls.
-Person: He has the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.
-Person 1: Not even sarcastically though, why do you care more about my life and health more than I do?
-Random Girl walking by: same though
-Person: Wait are potatoes a fruit?
-Person 1: Come on (person’s name), chop chop!
Person 2: I’m chopping!
-Person: I thought I ran into (boys name) but it was actually just a bench.
-Person: Are streptsils supposed to burn?
-Person: Does static electricity work here?
-Bro 1: Close your eyes bro
Bro 2: Okay bro
Bro 1: What do you see bro?
Bro 2: Nothing bro
Bro 1: That’s my world without you bro
Bro 2: Bro
Girl: I swear to god if you two do that again… *insinuating that this wasn’t the first time they had done so*
-Person 1: And how do you exactly get to the sketchy parts of London?
Person 2: Google maps.
-Girl in a dark room to roommate: Well you know what? *Turns on light* well fuck you I hope your eyes burn.
-Person: Oh my crapety crap crap.
-Person: Oh yes, we love a spiky shistar
-Person: Tbh no one else can hate me as much as I hate me sooo yeahhh
-Person: So I guess I’m just gunna dab and pretend like everything’s okay then cry later.
-Person 1: Well you’re... fricking... stupid.
Person 2:Wow language.
Person 1: I’m 15 I can do whatever the frick I want!
-Person: *shouting*I don’t have energy for this today!
-Person: I didn’t know the lady was not wearing garments.
-Person: That went from getting water to doing drugs. That wasn’t a jump at all.
-Person: I am a bright and colorful piñata and god is a 13 year old birthday boy whose parents have just announced their divorce.
-Person: Oh my god I just got a message! *pause* Never mind it’s just my cellular company
-Person: I only know how to express love in either dramatic, multi-page, 19th-century-style love letters or single memes presented without commentary so jot that down
-Person 1: As a member of the stop the bull community I kindly request for you to cease this activity.
Person 2: Oh yah? Well as a member of the START the bull community I wanna ask you to umm BACK OFF.
-Person: I’m feeling very third wheel. You and (boys name), (boys name) and (girls name), (girls name) and 8-ball.
-Person: My entire life is the ‘awkward YouTube phase’.
-Person: Sliding into (girlfriends name) dms like *proceeds to perform a giant sock on hardwood floor style slide*
-Person: (Teacher’s name)’s voice just puts you to sleep. If you need to take a nap, just listen to a recording.
-Person: And then there’s me, having a mental breakdown over a water bottle.
-Person: Like girl, I know you’re thirsty but just drink some soda.
-Person 1: I’m sad lemme have some.
Person 2: Who broke up with you this time?
Person 1: HEY!
-Person: Excuse you, I’m always ashy.
-Person 1: 3/8 people on this group chat aren’t straight. That’s 0.375. Quick maths. Who needs to pass the math final when you can calculate the amount of gay in the group chat?
Person 2: Politicians use statistics to argue their points anyway so you need it in life.
Person 3: That was intelligent, (Person 1) you’ve been outplayed.
-Person 1: YAY WERE ALL GOING TO DIE
Person 2: Me in the face of the apocalypse.
-Person: God I miss Lagos, even the bumpy ass roads. at least Lagos had LESBIANS.
-Person: Does anyone else want to pretend their okay with me? No?
-Person: 8-Ball Bitches!
-Person: I’VE GONE BACK SO FAR INTO THE CLOSET I’M IN FUCKING NARNIA NOW
-Person: Attack! *Squeals as she’s squirted wit a water-bottle* Ahhhh you fricking fudger!
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I'M GONNA DO IT TO EM' ALL ASKS THAT YOU REBLOG TONIGHT TILL 10 AM TOMORROW.... DO THEM!!!!
Hey, you had to do it to ‘em! Here they are starting with the most recent.
“Weird asks that say a lot”
1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?
Coffee mugs because you can use them for everything. Teacups are too small for a proper cuppa.
2. chocolate bars or lollipops?
Chocolate bars always.
3. bubblegum or cotton candy?
Bubblegum, which I miss so much. I haven’t had it in over 2 years bc of my braces
4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?
I didn’t go to public school but all the adults who dealt with me said I was sociable and tried to get everyone to do the group projects but no one listened so I ended up sitting alone reading and quietly doing the project.
5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?
Glass BOTTLES make it taste superior.
6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?
Pastel boho preppy goth best describes my style.
7. earbuds or headphones?
Earbuds, but only rubber tipped ones. The plastic ones never fit in my ears. Also headphones never cover my whole ear right. :/
8. movies or tv shows?
TV shows keep my attention span better.
9. favorite smell in the summer?
Brewing thunderstorms.
10. game you were best at in p.e.?
None. But trampoline if I had to pick.
11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?
Scrambled eggs, peanut butter toast, and some kind of fruit.
12. name of your favorite playlist?
My main one is Things You Love. My one for writing is Queen And Country, and my other two favorites are Summer Songs and A Queen Knows How To Fight A War.
13. lanyard or key ring?
Key ring, lanyards get in the way.
14. favorite non-chocolate candy?
Swedish Fish or Sour Patch Kids.
15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?
OH MAN. To Kill A Mockingbird, The Great Gatsby, Fahrenheit 451, The Grapes Of Wrath, and The Handmaid’s Tale were definitely my top 5 in English class.
16. most comfortable position to sit in?
Curled up sideways in an armchair with my legs slung over the arm. Sitting normally sucks.
17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?
Either pair of my black boots, or my pink floral Skechers that I wear to work.
18. ideal weather?
60 degrees, cloudy, windy, with a chance of rain.
19. sleeping position?
On my right side, arms around a fluffy pillow, one leg out straight and the other drawn up with my knee to my chest.
20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?
Laptop. I’m trying to exercise my hand and wrist so I don’t tire as quick of notebook writing, though.
21. obsession from childhood?
History, Nancy Drew books, Harry Potter, and ghost stories.
22. role model?
The person I am but don’t think I am.
23. strange habits?
Pulling my shirt collar up over my nose and mouth/putting it in my mouth and chewing on it.
24. favorite crystal?
Amethyst, my birthstone! Close second is blue goldstone. (Have you ever seen it? It looks like the universe. I have a worrystone made of blue goldstone and it’s one of my prized possessions.)
25. first song you remember hearing?
Something from church probably. Outside of church probably one of these: If I Had A Hammer // Peter, Paul and Mary, Puff The Magic Dragon // Peter, Paul and Mary, Scarborough Fair // Simon & Garfunkel, The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald // Gordon Lightfoot.
26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?
Sit in the shade.
27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?
Drink tea, read, and play either Pokemon or Nancy Drew and the Clue Benders Society on my 3DS.
28. five songs to describe you?
The Pines // Roses & Revolutions, I Am Here // Pink, Walk Me Home // Pink, Call Home // Heathers (not the musical), Traveler’s Song // Aviators
29. best way to bond with you?
Talk to me about history, crime, musicals, books, or tv shows
30. places that you find sacred?
Natural swamps. Libraries. Old, overgrown gardens. Anywhere historic. Pine forests at dusk. Anywhere under a clear night sky.
31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?
A plaid shirt, black leggings, and black boots with dark neutral lipstick and a black choker.
32. top five favorite vines?
Fre she vocado, BENTLEY NOOOOO, uhhh I sure hope it does, the one of Lin Manuel-Miranda trying to brainstorm, and this bitch empty YEEt
33. most used phrase in your phone?
Idk how to find this out
34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?
Idk if this is just a local thing here but WOW ITS NATURESTONE
35. average time you fall asleep?
12-1 nowadays.
36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?
I can haz cheezburger
37. suitcase or duffel bag?
Depends. Suitcase for things like my laptop that are better protected than in a duffel bag, but duffel bag otherwise because they’re easier to carry.
38. lemonade or tea?
TEAAAAA
39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?
Both please
40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?
My house? We had a safe word when we did math. It was “quokka.” If we got overwhelmed we’d say it and then stop and look at pictures of quokkas.
41. last person you texted?
My friend and coworker.
42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?
Jacket pockets.
43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?
Cardigan or hoodie
44. favorite scent for soap?
Lavender
45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?
Fantasy. It takes me a bit to get into fantasy books usually, but sci-fi is hard to follow and superhero is mostly predictable.
46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?
Fuzzy pants and a t shirt
47. favorite type of cheese?
Muenster, parmesan, or goat cheese
48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?
Raspberry
49. what saying or quote do you live by?
“I have no country to fight for. My country is the earth, and I am a citizen of this world.” - Eugene V. Debs
50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?
A weird local political ad a couple years back.
51. current stresses?
My recent breakup, an overnight shift I work on Wednesday night, and trying to find time to go out to a corn maze with my friend.
52. favorite font?
Baskerville or Georgia.
53. what is the current state of your hands?
Covered in small cuts and scrapes from work, nails picked short, black nail polish mostly peeled off.
54. what did you learn from your first job?
babysitting job: Kids suck never have more than one. Retail job: being on your fee it hardddd
55. favorite fairy tale?
Beauty and the Beast or Rapunzel
56. favorite tradition?
Looking at Halloween decorations
57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?
Cutting, being manipulated by my dad, and letting other people make me believe I wasn’t good enough (still working on that one)
58. four talents you’re proud of having?
Writing, puzzle-solving, singing, and calligraphy
59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?
“Oh shit waddup”
60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?
One of those preppy gothic private school animes with a dark secret lurking around the corner
61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?
Book: “Ignoring isn’t the same as ignorance. You have to work at it.” - The Handmaid’s Tale. Movie: “It’s not about deserve. It’s about what you believe. And I believe in love.” - Wonder Woman. TV Show: “I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself.” - Doctor Who.
62. seven characters you relate to?
Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood, Remus Lupin, Richard Gansey III, Blue Sargent, Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury.
63. five songs that would play in your club?
Same five that I said describe me.
64. favorite website from your childhood?
Webkinz and the old American Girl site circa 2009.
65. any permanent scars?
One down my chest from heart surgery as a baby, lots from self harm on my arms/legs, some on my left knee from falling as a kid, and one on the back of my right heel from being pecked by a goose at the fair when I was 11.
66. favorite flower(s)?
Sunflowers, roses, and dahlias.
67. good luck charms?
Myself.
68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?
Ranch anything.
69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?
Jellyfish have no brains and no heart.
70. left or right handed?
I’m third generation left handed!
71. least favorite pattern?
Vertical stripes.
72. worst subject?
Math.
73. favorite weird flavor combo?
Wendy’s fries and chocolate frosty.
74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?
7. Usually I just ignore it because I have a “high pain tolerance” (which means I like to put myself through minor pains because I think I deserve it)
75. when did you lose your first tooth?
Age 5. I was trying to blow up an inflatable ball and it came out.
76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?
ALL POTATOES EXCEPT POTATO SALAD
77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?
Violets.
78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?
Neither, both suck equally.
79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?
Never had a school id so I guess the license
80. earth tones or jewel tones?
Earth tones for me
81. fireflies or lightning bugs?
...They are literally the same thing
82. pc or console?
PC
83. writing or drawing?
Writing. I absolutely cannot draw.
84. podcasts or talk radio?
Podcasts, talk radio is so obnoxious.
84. barbie or polly pocket?
Barbie. The clothes are easier to take on and off. I used to accidentally rip polly pocket clothes all the time.
85. fairy tales or mythology?
Mythology. I like it because it explains things, it’s creation stories, its origins. Fairy tales are just fantasies or cautionary tales.
86. cookies or cupcakes?
Cookies.
87. your greatest fear?
Rejection, drowning, and clowns.
88. your greatest wish?
To be a semi-successful author and historian.
89. who would you put before everyone else?
My mom.
90. luckiest mistake?
Not succeeding in killing myself!
91. boxes or bags?
Bags.
92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?
Dim lamps if they have yellow bulbs. I hate white lights. And also fairy lights yes please.
93. nicknames?
Ellie, Ell, Little Lion, Lioness.
94. favorite season?
FALLLLL
95. favorite app on your phone?
Tumblr, Spotify, or Instagram.
96. desktop background?

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?
6.
98. favorite historical era?
Revolutionary War-era America or late Victorian England.
THIS GOT REALLY LONG AND I DONT WANNA HIT THE TEXT BLOCK LIMIT SO IMMA DO ALL THE HALLOWEEN ONES SEPARATELY, MAYBE IN THE MORNING.
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The Plastics: Phase 2
(Phase 1 - part 1, part 2)
—————
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart!” Roman was looming over the sink, trying his best not to stare at his boyfriend.
His very much shirtless boyfriend.
Roman knew how much Virgil loved his 7-Eleven slurpees. (Part of him liked the fact that his boyfriend was a less-homicidal version of JD.) But sadly, so did Remy. So when Remy told Roman to throw Virgil’s slurpee at him... he couldn’t argue against that.
It was Remy, after all.
But he isn’t going to complain about his boyfriend being shirtless.
“It’s perfectly fine, it was just a slurpee.” Virgil gave Roman a smile that he would never be caught, dead or alive, giving to anyone. “Just... do you have a spare shirt?”
“Do you mind that it’s Wednesday?”
—
Having lunch with the Plastics was like leaving the real world and entering “Popular World”. And Popular World had a lot of rules.
“You can’t wear a tank top two days in a row,” Roman told me. “And we only wear track pants on Fridays.”
Well... let’s consider the issue with the statement. That day, both Remy and Roman were wearing jeans. Remy’s blue, and Roman’s white. Their shirts were pink, though.
And Emile... yeah. He was in a skirt.
“I mean, not just you. Like, any of us. Okay, like, if I was wearing track pants today, I would be sitting over there with the drama kids.” Emile started giggling. “You think this is a joke? Drama club is not a joke.”
“We know, Roman.”
“Oh, and we always vote before we ask someone to eat lunch with us, because you have to be considerate of the rest of the group.” Understandable. “Well, I mean, you wouldn’t buy clothes without asking your friends first if they look good on you.”
“I wouldn’t?”
“Right. Oh, and it’s the same with guys.” I think this was when Roman’s leg started jumping. “Like, you may think you like someone, but you could be wrong.”
And then Roman looked at Virgil. Who was playing with a pair of aviators. Well... if I had to guess...
“A hundred and twenty calories, and forty-eight calories from fat...” So Remy could read labels. Nice. “What percent is that?”
“Forty-eight into one-twenty...?”
“I’m only eating foods with less than 30% calories from fat.”
“It’s 40%.” The confused looks I got from Remy and Roman were... weird. Let’s call them weird. “Well, 48 over 120 equals X over 100, and then you cross-multiply and get the value of X.”
“...whatever. I’m getting cheese fries.”
Sure, Remy. Sure.
As soon as Remy got away, though... Roman started talking. “So, have you seen any guys that you think are cute yet?”
“We’re all gay here,” Emile said. I think to himself. I hope to himself.
“Well...” Better be honest. “There’s this guy in my calculus class-”
“Who is it?”
“It’s a senior?” Yes, Roman. It’s a senior.
“His name’s Patton Graham.”
If I had to compare this moment to anything... it would probably be a bomb drop. Roman started a chorus of “no”s, with Emile joining in every now and again.
“Oh no, you can’t like Patton Graham!”
The literal angel descended from heaven to grace this world with his beauty and overall being? Sure. Why? Can you explain why, Roman? Huh? You wanna try an explanation, bitch?
“That’s Remy’s ex-boyfriend.”
Oh.
“They went out for a year.” Thankfully, this was said by Emile. Roman’s voice was starting to annoy me.
“Yeah.” And... we’re back. “And he was devastated when Patton broke up with him last summer.”
“I thought he dumped him for Ollie Hendricks.”
“Okay, irregardless. Ex-boyfriends are just off-limits to friends. I mean, that’s just, like... the rules of feminism. Or something.”
I swear I heard Virgil snort.
“Don’t worry. I’ll never tell Remy what you said. It’ll be our little secret.”
I seriously doubted it.
—
“We define the sum of the infinite geometric series...”
Even though I wasn’t allowed to like Patton, I was still allowed to look at him. And think about him. And talk to him.
“Hey, Pat-”
“Hey, you’re the Africa guy, right?” A guy (who, to be fair, looks like a top hat would just fit him perfectly, he’s just that kind of creepy) asked me. As I was going to talk to Patton.
Rude much?
“Yeah.”
“I’m Dorian Pechmann, captain of the North Shore Mathletes. We participate in math challenges against other high schools around the state, and we’re missing a member. You should think about joining.”
“Oh, you’d be perfect for it!” Our teacher - Ms. Torres - jumped in.
“Yeah, definitely.”
“Great, great. Let me give you my card!”
This guy has a card...?
‘Dorian Pechmann - Math Enthusiast/Bad-ass M.C.’
It even includes his phone number. Lovely.
“Okay, so... think it over. Cause we’d like to actually compete this year.”
Okay...
—
Patton actually almost talked to me later that day, if only Remy didn’t pull up near the football field and screamed “get in, loser, we’re going shopping!”
Remy is like the Barbie doll I never had. I’d never seen anybody so glamorous.
“So how do you like North Shore?” Emile asked me in the mall.
“It’s good. I think I’m joining the mathletes.”
And again with the booming chorus of no.
“You cannot do that,” Remy said. Incredibly harsh for a valley girl. “This is social suicide. Damn, you are so lucky you have us to guide you!”
And then Roman spaced out. And I could see why. Over in the shop we were passing...
There was Virgil.
I was starting to suspect more and more.
Being at Old Orchard Mall kind of reminded me of being home in Africa. By the watering hole. When the animals are in heat.
“Oh my god there’s Jason!”
“Where? ...oh, there he is.”
“And he’s with Taylor Wedell!”
Remember Jason? From the cafeteria? Yeah. The poor person he was now picking up...
Was a girl.
“I heard they’re going out.”
“Wait...” Remy’s smirk grew into a vicious smile. If we can call it that. “Jason’s not going out with Taylor. No. He cannot blow you off like that. He’s such a little skeez. Give me your phone.”
“You’re not gonna call him... right?”
“Do you think I’m an idiot?”
“No.”
It took Remy exactly three seconds to dial up a number - how exactly? - and ask for “Wedell on South Boulevard.”
“Caller ID-”
“Not when you connect from Information.” And then, “Hello, may I please speak to Taylor Wedell?”
I swear his voice became more feminine when he said that.
“Oh, this is Susan from Planned Parenthood. I have her test results. If you could have her give me a call as soon as she can. It’s urgent. Thank you!”
And then, “she’s not going out with anyone.”
“Okay,” Roman said, finally smiling. “That was so fetch!”
It took just a couple seconds after that for Taylor Wedell to run away screaming.
—
Remy’s house was bigger than I have ever known a house to be. His step-mom was incredibly plastic-y, like a tv trophy wife or something, and his sister - oh god, his sister! His poor, sweet, innocent preteen sister - was watching MTV.
I honestly don’t think the content was entirely age appropriate.
His step-mom also offered us drinks that could have passed for alcoholic, which was even more worrying for a second.
But his room...
“It was my parents’ room,” Remy told me. “But I made them trade me.”
Bitch...
Even worse, bitch who flaunts around his ex-boyfriends. Like all the pictures of Patton he has hanging on his door.
“Logan, do you even know who sings this?” Remy asked me about the music that was playing on the radio.
“Umm... One Direction?”
“Oh my god, I love him! He’s like a Martian!”
Is that a... compliment...?
“God, my hips are huge!” Emile was checking himself out in the mirror... why?
Is that what friends do...? Gay people as a whole...? What?
“Oh please, I hate my calves.” Something about Roman’s tone sounded incredibly fake.
“At least you guys don’t have huge shoulders.”
I used to think there was just fat and skinny. Apparently, there’s a lot of things that can be wrong about your body.
And so, after listing about eleven hundred things that are wrong about their bodies, they turned to me. Expected me to talk.
Well... “I have really bad breath in the morning.”
“...ew.”
And then, “Oh my god, I remember this!” Emile was holding a pink album.
‘The Burn Book.’
“I haven’t looked at that in forever! Come check it out, Logan!”
“It’s our Burn Book,” Roman told me. “See, we cut out pictures of people from the yearbook, mostly girls, sometimes also guys, and then we wrote comments.”
“Trang Pak is a grotsky little bitch.” “Still true!”
“Dawn Schweitzer is a fat virgin.” “Still half true!”
“Amber d’Alessio masturbated with a hot dog.”
“Virgil Thompson,” Emile read out. “Stoner.”
Wait, what?
“Who is that?”
“I think it’s that kid Thomas,” Roman said. His voice still sounded... well, off.
“Yeah. He’s almost too gay to function.”
“Ha, that’s funny! Put that in there.”
Oh no. What have I done. Maybe that was only okay when Virgil said it.
—
“And they have this book, this Burn Book, where they write mean things about a lot of people in our grade.”
Virgil looked incredibly enthusiastic. Maybe a bit too much for the situation.
“What does it say about me?”
That you’re a stoner. “You’re not in it.”
“Those assholes.” He seemed to enjoy it far too much.
“Will this minimize my pores?” Thomas was holding a tube of... whatever cream that was.
“No. Logan, you gotta steal that book.”
“No way!”
“Oh, come on! We could publish it and then everybody would see what a dick he really is!”
“I don’t steal.”
“That is for your feet!” Virgil literally snatched the new cream from Thomas’ hands the second he brought it up. “Logan, there are two kinds of evil people. People who do evil stuff, and people who see evil stuff being done and don’t try to stop it.”
“Does that mean I’m morally obligated to burn that lady’s outfit?”
Thomas really shouldn’t have said that, probably.
“Oh my god, that’s Ms. Torres.”
“I love seeing teachers outside of school! It’s like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs!”
“Oh, hey, guys,” Ms. Torres called as she came to the counter. “What’s up? I didn’t know you worked here.”
“Yeah, moderately priced soaps are my calling.”
“You shopping?”
“No, no. I’m just here with my boyfriend.” Yeah... literally the only other customer in the shop. “Joking. Sometimes older people make jokes.”
“My nana takes her wig off when she’s drunk.”
“Your nana and I have that in common,” she deadpanned. “No, actually I’m just here because I bartend a couple nights a week down at P.J. Calamity’s. Logan, I hope you do join Mathletes, you know. Because we start in a couple weeks.”
“I think I’m gonna do it.”
“Great!”
“You can’t join Mathletes, it’s social suicide!” Thomas rushed to say.
“Thanks, Thomas.” And then, “well... this has been sufficiently awkward. And I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”
“Oh man, that is bleak,” Virgil sighed when Ms. Torres left. “So, when are you gonna see Remy again?”
“I can’t spy on him anymore. It’s weird.”
“Come on, he’s never gonna find out! It’s just... it’ll be like our little secret!”
Okay then...
—————
Tag list:
@broadwaytheanimatedseries @anony-phangirl @itsthemoooooooooon @whatwashernameagain @illmamnim @anotherfanboyonline @illogical-anxieties @allsortsofgeekery @ask-m423 @samwantstobereal @creepy-crawly-death-dealer @nepturanus-thy-planet @impatentpending @pheo742 @the-randomest-ofthe-fandomest @fanderily @tripleaaace @jokesequaljoker
#kylo cant write#sanders sides#mean girls au#logan sanders#virgil sanders#thomas sanders#roman sanders#remy/sleep#emile picani#patton sanders#logicality#prinxiety#remile#deceit sanders#valerie
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PART 3
WEDNESDAY MORNING
While Damon was online looking for odd jobs he noticed an add for dancers needed. He’s had a stripper license since he was 19 and used this as a means for extra money when not deployed. He sent this to Oliver in an email prior to calling him on his way to the pharmacy.
“Morning”
“Check out the email”
As he pulled out his iPad, he saw the email
“What the fuck is this?”
“Strippin....you already do way more, plus a bachelorette party would get you a killing. I used to dance at a few of them when I was home”
“Got anything else?”
“Banquets, I know a lot of companies. I can send you a list of catering companies you could do work for. What you got going on right now?”
“Laying on the couch, going into the office”
[Really? That’s the best you got? What part of “I want out of this life do you not understand?]
While he wasn’t thrilled about it, he took some time to think about t and he realized that bachelorette parties are for the entertainment value and he did keep his body in shape. However, didn’t want his current situation to mirror that of “The Players Club”.
Oliver got up from the couch to fix himself an omelette while continuing to talk. “Yo, I got you on speaker phone, doing some stuff in the kitchen”
“Man, remember when we were young and we would see vacationers out here, we vowed that one day it would be us taking trips with our families?”
“I do, and when I look at where I’m at, I think to myself “What the actual fuck?”
[We were lied to. In 2008, when we were in high school, we were told to go to college. That it was the ticket to a successful life. What they didn’t tell us is that the economy would tank. They didn’t go cover any alternatives. They never went over the cost of living and the fact that people here are working three jobs. I should have seen this with my own parents. Dad worked for the state and then worked as a janitor in the evenings. Mom still works as a financial aid officer at a state college. The preparation sucked. What the fuck am I gonna use creative writing for? Why was that in school?]
He cut the conversation short to eat his breakfast and get a shower in before work. Afterwards, he ironed a pair of pants and a golf shirt and heaved to the office where the direction informed him and Claudia:
“I have a project for the two of you. Our event is coming up at the mall. You two are going to be drawing outlines to these animal pieces on the construction poet right there. We’re expecting about 200 kids”
“No problem” Oliver said looking at the green construction paper in front of him
“It’ll be a breeze” Claudia assured him as she took a pair of scissors and the elephant trunk and demonstrated.
“So it’s like build a bear type of think but with other animals but they’re decorating their bags with them. That’s cute”
“Yeah, so are you gonna go to the career fair next week”
“The one at the convention center?”
“Yea, I heard there’s going to be several companies there.”
[Resume-FEMA, fucking, and non-profit]
“I plan on it. Do you know if any government agencies are gonna be there? I couldn’t find a roster anywhere”
“Not sure”
They continued working while talking about goals and aspirations when he noticed an alert on her phone. Knowing the conference due to getting the same alert an hour earlier, he asked her how she knew about it? Somewhat embarrassed, she snapped “What are you doing looking at my phone?!”
“I merely glanced over!” he exclaimed before taking her aside and confessing to being involved in the worlds oldest profession “I hate it. One would think attractive people and pleasure but there’s no real live and frankly it feels like a modern version of slavery. I can’t get a decent date to save my life”
After a moment of silence, she admitted that she was a phone sex operator and that she worked in evenings. “I have a friend who also is in high class escorting”
“High class?”
“Let’s talk about it later? How about we meet for a drink after work? We need to get a bit more of this done.”
Meanwhile, Damon was scouting on the web when his eye caught the attention of a webcam modeling website.
He though about his current life and how he’d mange to file his taxes. He normally got a 1090 at the end of the year. He also though about the repercussions of this and the thought that the clientele could be from his local area. He had a flashback to being deployed in Germany where he and some buds where in a night club, partying surrounded by beautiful women. “We are like royalty!” He thought about a conversation he had with his peer about wanting to serve for eight years and then retire and start college. Little did he know that half way though that time frame that he’d suffer a back injury along w/ PTSD from witnessing the death of a friend at the hands of a grenade.
He applied for work with multiple agencies and thought about how he could sporadically work vs checking in daily. With webcam modeling he could set his own schedule. With that in mind he decided to text Oliver.

“Who was that?”
“My friend Damon”
“So about how long have you with with this company?”
“About six months. I’m trying to start grad school”
They chatted while filing paperwork. They talked about politics, racial issues, economic issues, and the like. Claudia made for good company. She graduated with two degrees. She majored in English Education and Journalism and worked as a teacher’s aide for a period. She was tired of the work with virtually no pay. She responded to an add. Currently she works for a phone sex. One has seen the commercials late at night. She’s one of them. Definitely more conventional than Oliver’s current job.
As he was getting ready to eat lunch, she Claudia asked him if he wanted to eat while they worked. “Sure” he said as he went to grab his lunch out of his bag.
“We work with several schools in their special ed departments”
“What do y’all do?”
”We will be finalizing contracts for events mainly. But we do outreach and after school programs on social etiquette and speech practices our goal is to help those with autism be as integrated into society as possible” Noticing Oliver’s garden salad, she asked him “you health conscious?”
“Yep. Grew up like that. My parent’s rarely fried anything, but they didn’t ban them from the house. My mom was always big on vitamins and drinking plenty of water. I practice that today, to keep things under control. Being a diabetic, I have to watch it.”
Shocked at the revelation she asked him when he was diagnosed. He was diagnosed at 6 years old.
“I’m trying to lose weight, but I find myself emotionally eating more than I should”
Trying to avoid saying anything that could be interpreted as offensive, he simply said that he had his days too, hence the reason he goes to the gym six days/week, doing a combination of cardio and weights. After they finished eating lunch, they cut more construction paper and bagged it. They filed folders away for about an hour when Oliver signed out.”See you tomorrow?”
“You’ll see me in a couple of hours.”
The sun was beaming as Oliver drove home. He rolled down his window and plugged his phone in to have some music playing. He checked the mail and saw the electric bill was in. “Shouldn’t be this much” he said “I’m never home”
He checked his email as well as his escorting profile receiving three request including one overnight stay. Booking these trips back to back, he thought about his weekly check at $8.75/hr at 25 hrs per week along w/ the money from the three client’s that he’d earn. He’d have enough to pay his final payment on his only student loan and to pay his car note.
He kicked off his shoes to give his feet some air and called his mom.

[I’m being nice. This place is a shithole, in fact the only reason my unit isn’t laden with roaches is because I frequently buy those foggers and then I have to open the damn windows and door risking my shit being stolen. Also, Bengal and Boric Acid along the cracks and corners have done wonders.]
He looked up and realized that it was time to meet Claudia. He traded in his work outfit for a pair or black cargo shorts, a zero-nineteen tank top from K-Mart, and a pair of flip-flops and headed out. He got in the truck, turned the air on and arrived to the bar 20 minutes later. Locating Claudia at a table in the bar area we walked in to meet her when the waiter took their drink order.


[She’s a pharmacy tech and she still needs to be a lady of the evening by night? I’m fucked-literally and figuratively]
She advised him to update his profile to include massages and casual dates at a lower rate. While they were talking, A woman walks up, dark skin, about 5′9, in her mid 20s. She spotted Claudia and walked in the sit next to her.
“Hey chick!”
“Hey!”
“Hello, I’m Aya, how are your doing?” she said as she reached out to shake Oliver’s hand
“Oliver, I’m good. How about you?”
“So this is the guy? He’s cute”
“He’s taken”
“Actually I’m very available”
After ordering a drink, she begin to explain to Oliver how she got into her current part time job. “I started off escorting however a client of mine introduced me to a coworker of his that owned a matchmaking service. I showed up to a mixer I went out on one date. I never saw the guy again afterwards. That said, he did mention to me that he had utilized services where one would rent a dates for events. I eventually branched off and begin advertising on craigslist and the like.”
“So do you still...….you know?”
“Sporadically, but that’ll cost extra.”
Later that night, he decided to update his profile w/ additional services offered. He decided to try out a couple of speed dating events himself. He might even snap a client or two. Perhaps, he’d been looking in the wrong places, maybe it was time for more upscale social functions. His current evening work was not a glamorous job and frankly it was quite dangerous.
[Prostitution can be traced back as far as biblical times. Not a new profession and it’s a profession that’s always been available for the money. Sometimes, we use it to pay off a loan or some sort of debt. For others, it’s the love of sex. Some just like the temporary luxury that comes with being one’s bitch. Me? I’d like nothing more than to settle down. I know there’s a way. It may take a while to find it, but I refuse to have THIS be my stop.]
STORY SYNOPSIS
CHARACTERS
PART 4 TO FOLLOW
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Melting Of The Ice Cream Girl
PD101 / MXM’s Im Youngmin X Reader [fem ver] ( I can finally type MXM instead of BNM :“) he has debuted I am still shooketh by their album I wrote this on the day of the debut itself ) Fluff, mild angst
part one
part two
bulletpoint ver. • ok so at your sch, Youngmin is like THE sunbaenim • you’re super shy to everyone - since you’re so quiet everyone is like ‘bruh we better stay away she’ll kill us’ but wild asf with your friends • you have a crush on Youngmin bc tbh who doesn’t ??? hello anon, thank you for requesting, you know I love my MXM boys :”) uhh, you didn’t really specify if there should be romance + how it should be formed so I went ahead and did it anyway…..hope you’re okay with that. Drop me a feedback ask !! Especially if you want it rewritten, in scenario form too etc, it’s okay. But please drop me another ask on how you would like part two to be :) I split it because I wasn’t sure and I’d rather get feedback from anon yourself. This is just plot set up i’M SORRY THERE ISN’t anY ANGST FOR NOW PLEASE TELL ME Hope you like it. - admin L PS: this actl describes me perfectly ?? anon have you been stalking me ??? __________ • okay so everyone loves Im Youngmin • like literally everyone • Mrs. Wang from Science block 3 ‘I love Im Youngmin I gave him a new school bag for his birthday’ • Cindy from History, Wednesdays, third period ‘Once, Im Youngmin stepped on my worksheet and apologised after. It was the best moment of my life’ • Jae in Art, Fridays, fifth period, 'Sometimes I draw Im Youngmin when asked to freehand art’ • Youngmin is THE sunbae of the school • c'mon • you really need to arrive at school in this fancy ass limousine like car? • with your school shoes being custom Gucci sneakers ??? • on top of that • he’s so good looking Jihoon from physics aka the prettiest boy in school cried when he first saw Youngmin’s visuals • you still have that video on your phone bc Jihoon is one of your close friends • Youngmin also has the sweetest personality • boyfriend material • everyone in the school is charmed by him • infatuated almost
• sometime last year, he accidentally spilled his coffee on your notes in the library and offered to rewrite them • by hand • you were so shocked • and shy • no words came out • instead, you grabbed your things and ran out because you were too shy to even look at him • 'oh no the ice princess strikes again’ • everyone talked about how you ignored Im Youngmin sunbaenim and rushed out • for days • like ??? move on • but interaction between the Senior sunbae and Junior ice princess was rare • Youngmin tried multiple times but you kept disappearing, brushing him off • turning the other way when you saw him • quickly running to class • avoiding his gaze in the canteen • you name it • you did it • eventually, his best friend. Kim Donghyun told him you were the infamous Junior ice princess • simply because you repulsed everyone else other than your clique in this school • ice princess™ • no ??? you were just too shy to form words • even to reply to teachers • the words just got stuck in your throat and you constantly panicked • everyone just assumed you were the toughest, baddest bitch in Junior year after that • Youngmin shook his head, sighing • 'no way, she can’t be’ • 'it’s true, hyung! Y/N is really an ice princess’ • 'THE ice princess of Brand New’ • he asked Sewoon and he said the same thing • in fact, his entire sunbae + chaebol clique agreed • 'Y/N is Brand New High School’s ice princess’ • you were cold, mean and unforgiving • like winter • but sometimes • you only play with snow in winter • your clique found it ridiculously funny it became an inside joke • Hyemi always found some time of the day to make fun of it • only Hyemi, Jihoon, Daewhi, Woojin and Mina knew the truth • you were the craziest person they knew • once, Woojin got a call from Mina at 3am because you had climbed through her room window • essentially, you broke into your best friend’s bedroom even though you knew the passcode to her house • btw did I mention you were also super charming and charmed tf out of your friends’ parents ??? • so your friends’ houses were like your second homes • you were welcomed anytime • honestly, you said the weirdest shit on a daily • and communicated in memes • another time, you challenged Woojin to race around the supermarket with trolleys • it’s safe to say you aren’t allowed back into the supermarket • but i heard you like bad girls? • you walked in there and bought chocolate milk • twice • no one noticed • anyways • main jokester • and prankster of your squad • it was Jihoon’s birthday and you woke him up by shooting him with water guns • he fell sick almost immediately after • once you heard that, you ran over with medicine and soup • you stayed the weekend on his bedroom floor just to nurse him back to health • 'y/N yoU don’T haVE TO’ • 'nO I MUST CARE FOR YOU. YOU MIGHT DIE OTHERWISE’ • ’…..’ • 'jIHooN DRInK YOur SOuP’ • 'wAiT i’m goIng to gET MORE BANDAGES’ • 'whAT DOES A FevER havE TO dO witH thAT ?’ • your friends just make you all soft and sweet honestly • which is why Youngmin knew you couldn’t be the ice princess of Brand New • he tried to talk to you a few times before • but you were already introverted beyond conversation on a daily ??? • much less in front of your crush • you really didn’t mean to let your eyes widen so much • you looked at him straight in the eye • well tried to • and nearly chemically combusted after looking into his beautiful orbs • Youngmin thought you glared at him and backed off after that. • it saddened you that it was partially your reputation’s fault for ruining whatever chances you had with Youngmin • until…one day…Youngmin confides in his best friend, Donghyun • but Daewhi and Donghyun are like twins so • Daewhi finds out and tells Mina • fun fact: Mina and Youngmin are in the same math class bc Mina is an intellectual • she tries her best to get you two together • but yoURE JUST TOO SHY REALLY MINA • i CanT SAY A WORD IN FRONT OF REGULAR PEOPLE EVEN • minA WTF DO YOU WANT ME TO DO • ok so since she’s an intellectual right • instead of listening in advanced math class, she’s listing down ideas on how to tell Youngmin about you • it’s okay bc Mina knows every formula and still scored an A • oooh another fun fact: Mina and Youngmin now sit together for a new term • you’re lowkey salt but you don’t know her plans • Mina and Youngmin become good friends ??? Somehow ??? • idk he says hi to her in the hallways and once again you feel a pang in your chest • but you’re the ice princess, you don’t exactly have emotions • one day, youngmin lent his math notes to Donghyun so • 'hey Mina can I borrow your notes real quick?’ • he’s flipping through her note book when he comes across this • 'sweet things Y/N has done for us’ • 'how to get Y/N to confess’ • 'Y/N X Im Youngmin’ • oh god he’s so intrigued and flattered • and now he’s a blushing mess • he reads and realises that his theories are true, that you are the sweetest and craziest person in this school, contrary to your reputation • so he decides to give you a new name; the ice cream girl • sweet but cold, sometimes appearing in crazy flavours • and sticks to his lips ;) • and Im Youngmin is going to melt you (guys Donhyun literally saves Youngmin as 'Melting Youngmin’ in his phone and if that ain’t the cutest) • he starts off by doing the least but also the most • which is acknowledging you in the hallways, in class, at your locker • you always keep your head down and kind of bow slightly instead of saying anything because your entire face looks like a tomato like why • but eventually, you return his greetings with a shy wave • and it makes his entire day, his clique is like 'hyung, why are you so happy today? Are you okay?’ • 'oh i’m fine.’ he says as he spins around like a ballerina ( bc my son is graceful ) and nearly slams into a locker • 'Im Youngmin sunbaenim brushed by my locker and I was eternally blessed’ - Tina, chem lab • one day, you’re out with Daewhi and Woojin to shop for a birthday present for Daewhi’s mum • ya’ll being the cutest best friends ever. racing around the mall, making bad puns and memes out of weird items • the usual, how you are in your true form • sunbaenim + chaebol™ squad is also at the mall • youngmin spots you and daewhi being super lovey dovey and close and he feels this strange pain in his chest ??? he doesn’t even know anymore tbh • 'hyung let’s go and eeeeaaatttt’ donghyun begs and the entire clique let’s him choose where to • great, he just had to choose that place that daewhi, woojin and Y/N walked into • daewhi and woojin spot donghyun the second he walks in and starts waving frantically • 'hyUNG! HYUNG! HYUNG COME SIT WITH US!’ • youngmin tells the rest of the squad to sit first and that he and donghyun would join them soon • BNM babies reunion :“) • you’re just sitting there awkwardly to the side shoving fries in your mouth but it’s cute to see your friends interact with their close seniors • 'hey Y/N, how are you?’ Youngmin suddenly asks and you’re forced to reply • 'uh-uh i-i’ve been good, sunbaenim’ ok Y/N pull yourself together why did you say that • Youngmin just chuckles 'Sunbaenim? Aww Y/N you’re so cute but please, just call me oppa’ • you can practically hear daewhi, woojin and donghyun’s snickers • youngmin’s heart is softening the more he looks at you • he just needs to uncover your true interior • meanwhile, your heart is thudding a 150km/h you don’t even know because you’re so alarmed by Youngmin being nice to you and all • what should you do? part two has arrived
pls drop me a feedback ask + direction you want this to take :)
#admin L#im youngmin#bnm boys#brand new music#kim donghyun#MXM#lee daewhi#park woojin#produce 101 scenarios#produce 101#mxm scenarios#bnm trainees
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