#from the start she has been saying emrys will be morgana’s doom

[gd-dollopole]

Have we taken into consideration that perhaps, the reason Merlin does not die, it’s because the Gods don’t want him to? They’ve been playing with him this entire time, and The Cailleach made it clear that even if Merlin wants to die, he can’t, and he cannot change the course of his life. Merlin does not say, “yes” willingly, but rather tests to see if the goddess in front of him knows about his destiny, and her answer proves him right. It’s not because she sees Lancelot going into the veil. It’s because she knows deep down Merlin cannot do anything now. Merlin is more powerful than Gods, and to prevent him to come to this knowledge, they constantly stop him from achieving his destiny.

[daisymintt]

I have too many ideas for Merlin fics so I’m just gonna dump them here, if you write one please tag me I’d love to read it!

• Arthur is seen as a traitor to the crown and is about to be killed when Merlin saves him and they go on the run and become some of the most well known bandits in Camelot, the Fallen Prince and his Warlock (inspired by Americano by Lady Gaga)

• A beast that feeds off magic goes to Camelot and takes Merlin, Arthur and the Knights embark on a rescue mission

• A visiting Noble introduces a new “sport” to Uther, sorcerer hunting. In which a captured sorcerer is released into the woods with only the clothes on their back and are hunted down by knights and specially trained hounds. Intrigued, he partakes of this “sport”. Merlin is disgusted and goes into the forest to help them escape only to become the prey. Will he be able to keep his magic secret? Or will he be doomed?

OR

• Merlin on the run inspired by the song Run Boy Run

• Rumor Has It/Rumor Mill, a bunch of different rumors start cropping up in Camelot varying from absurd to believable

• A visiting Lady takes a shine to Merlin, Arthur gets jealous.

• Arthur and Merlin are on a hunting trip and stop at a tavern. While there they overhear a local ghost story about an ghost that of a Lady who lived in the manor up the street. Her husbands kept dying “mysteriously” and she went mad with grief. They say the manor is haunted. Merlin takes it seriously and Arthur teases him about, later they go to the abandoned manor and have an encounter with the ghost. Get trapped in the manor. The ghost carries a bloody hatchet. Nearly takes Arthur’s head off. Similar to Constance Hatchaway.

• Stardust AU

• Arthur follows in his dad’s footsteps and sets out to kill the last Druid, a boy called Emrys. Little did he know that his friend Merlin was that druid. Inspo: Still/Neva Flows Reprise

• 1920’s America Merlin runs a speakeasy

• Gaius is away dealing with an outbreak of sweating sickness at a border town leaving Merlin as acting Court Physician while he’s away.

- A visiting Nobel lady goes into labor, Merlin has to help her.

• Merlin catches a cold yet refuses to stop working, his magic is also affected. Every time he sneezes something magical happens leaving chaos in his wake. His magic stops reacting when he Gaius sneaks him a sleeping draught mixed with some cold medicine (or at least the medieval equivalent that addresses the symptoms), Arthur not so subtly frets about Merlin’s wellness.

OR

• Merlin overextends his magic and when he gets back to Camelot he tries to do a small spell and it doesn’t work, discovers he has a “Sorcerers Cold” it doesn’t affect the physical body but the magical one. In other words, how magic is on the fritz until he can get some proper rest.

• Last Night Gus episode where they super drunk and wake up in weird places. They spend the day trying to piece together what happened last night

• A sorcerer disguised themselves as Merlin to get close to Arthur

OR

• A shapeshifter that appears as your hearts greatest desire appears as Merlin to Arthur and lures him into a trap, Merlin has to save him. Classic who’s the real Merlin scenario where Arthur has to ask a question that only the real Merlin would know the answer too.

• A vampire arrives in Camelot.

• Merlin’s shadow has the wings of a dragon, Arthur notices

• Merlin and Arthur have been arguing over something for a while now, Leon is tired of being stuck in the middle of it and traps them in a room. He refuses to let them come out until they figure out whatever they’re fighting about. (Ten minutes in the closet trope)

• A drunk Merlin finds himself in Arthur’s room, Arthur takes care of him. Merlin is very affectionate when drunk. (Inspo: bad idea right? By Olivia Rodrigo)

• Merlin and Morgana are friends and Arthur is jealous of there close bond, Arthur thinks that they’re courting and confronts Merlin about it.

• Morgana or someone casts a spell while the knights, Arthur, and Merlin are asleep on a quest that joins their dreams together. Merlin is very skittish afraid that he may accidentally reveal his magic. Inspo: A Nightmare on Killmotor Hill! Season 2 episode 19 of Ducktales.

• 5 weird places Merlin has fallen asleep and one not so weird one (it’s Arthur’s bed)

[evedaser]

i was writing in the tags but i rambled too long and it got cut off so i'm writing it properly instead:

disconnected take, but i feel like in the last episode, merlin should have killed mordred and arthur should have killed morgana.

i know in the myths arthur and mordred fight at camlann and thats the whole big deal, trust me i know. and they built up emrys as morgana's prophesised doom for multiple seasons, plus the whole “she is the hate to your love” thing (which was ridiculously romantic for a declaration of how their souls were destined to hate and kill each other)

but i feel like it would have been good: merlin deals with the druid problem, arthur deals with the pendragon problem. (and as one final fuck you to destiny - morgana was killed not by her doom foreseen, but by her brother whom she betrayed. in the end it would have been her actions and not her destiny that brought her death. true retribution, rather than tragedy.)

mordred was only a threat in the last three episodes to arthur, but to merlin he was a threat for FIVE SEASONS. has been taunting him since 1x08. merlin was warned about mordred before he was warned about morgana. besides, morgana and arthur had a lot of unresolved things going on!! arthur watching merlin kill her, watching his manservant lay her down as the light leaves her eyes -- thats fucked.

arthur should have been able to kill his own sister. merlin should have been able to kill mordred in rage and revenge for what he did to arthur -- no longer the child who would grow to fill a horrible destiny but was yet innocent, but a knight who struck his liege. a turncoat against his lord. the man who killed the king. and what was merlin if not a protector of the crown?

this whole part here the tags cut off so i have to try to remember what i wrote, but basically i was going on about how to enjoy bbc merlin you kind of have to ignore how messy it is politically and morally. i can understand the "if you kill the villain it makes you just as bad as them" statement (even if i don't necessarily agree with it. killing a bad person does not mean you take on the extent of their crimes, especially for more dangerous villains like uther, but i do agree with the principle -- that killing is wrong, and good people should seek to refrain from staining their hands where they can), but uther was actively killing people!! people were suffering and dying because he continued to live, this is an undisputable fact. and yet merlin actively protected him from threats (not him so much as arthur, but the point stands). the thing is that these problems start so early in bbc merlin that fix-it fics that resolve the problem of "dealing with genocide and persecution by protecting the perpetrator" lose most of the essence of the show. they have to sever themselves from the main plot very very early on!! stories that deal with morgana and mordred properly have to diverge in season 1 or early season 2, and again, lost most of the show. i'm not saying they can't be done well or that they're unenjoyable, i'm just saying the final product becomes unrecognisable.

i love this show, i really do, but i am also saying that to enjoy it i do have to set aside my moral beliefs and political values a little bit. i have to ignore how much my attitudes mean i might not actually be on merlin's side if i was in the show, as much as i don't actually fault him for his actions and would not commit or perpetrate violence of my own (not to say i agree with morgana either, i don't!! not on any level).

this is not a dig at merlin as a character, not at all, i have so many thoughts on why i DON'T blame him and i will be writing an actual serious piece about it someday soon, but it is i guess an acknowledgement about the rocky moral basis the show stands on.

and now i shall go back to ignoring it so i can enjoy my silly little wizard show again

the writers of bbc merlin did a very upsettingly good job of convincing the audience that murdering a child might be justified. that even considering it, having to grapple with it, is a noble and morally intense thing to do.

if this wasn't a fantasy show, if this was literally any real person ever, the dragon would say "murder the child" and merlin would fuck off and never return because WHAT KIND OF PSYCHOPATH SUGGESTS CHILD MURDER AS A SOLUTION TO YOUR PERSECUTION

[brawltogethernow]

I suppose the next step then is "BBC Merlin but it's SpideyTorch"

Oh my god. TEACHER, TEACHER, SHE’S TARGETING ME okay okay uh.

Peter, secret warlock, goes to Camelot with his mother figure, May, who does not know about the warlock thing because it kicked in when he was a teenager and they both strategically decline to tell each other things. Gaius is Reed, who was the court sorcerer and is now the court scientist. (He’s not an old man except spiritually where he has been a senile professor since he was 19.) He literally didn’t change anything he was doing, considering science and magic as different points on one spectrum anyway-- No. That’s Doom’s schtick. DOOM was the court sorcerer, and was fired. He is upset about it. Reed is just a science guy but worked extensively with Victor, so he’s kind of useful, but not as useful as Peter was hoping.

I know very little about Sue and Johnny’s dad except that he’s a supervillain who...faked his death, revealed himself, and then died for real like 12 hours later? Did he also fake his wife’s death at some point? Would he do a mad king magic ban thing? Idk but for plot purposes we’ll say yes. They conveniently already share Arthur’s dead mom syndrome. Maybe their aunt whose name is different depending on what issue you’re reading is also here just to convolute the court drama. Wait no didn’t Arthur have a shady uncle show up after like five seasons. She.

Peter is very talented at finicky, specific magical formulas. (Reed: :) )But in practice he really prefers to just slam out a big wave of power, and if that doesn’t solve the problem, repeat until it does. (Reed: :( ) He gives this a go at the beginning of sorting out any problem, like restarting your glitching computer, and if it doesn’t work the problem is complicated enough to be an episode plot.

So obviously I’m still gonna do secret identity shit? Peter saves the young prince and heir’s life and is rewarded with a second job; he only came here for job reasons and you’re all lucky he doesn’t turn down paying jobs otherwise he’d be having some words with the king. Peter also accidentally becomes a masked vigilante out in the town. His very existence is illegal because he’s obviously doing magic! They keep sending his boss out to hunt him down, and their eyes are always locking dramatically and shit in brief silent stare-offs from opposite ends of the street in thunder storms at sunset until Johnny’s horse rears and breaks the eye contact causing Peter to snap out of it and flee. You know how it is.

Sue is older than Johnny and thus older than the magic ban, so she responded to it by going “:) That’s nice, Dad” and socking away a bunch of books before they could go on the fire, and now she’s just a sorceress on the dl. This is approx. a first season finale reveal, because her real superpower is being able to keep her mouth the hell shut. I literally cannot with how nobody in Merlin ever exchanges information, so shortly after Peter and Reed learn this they exchange secrets, like sane people, which opens up their resources a bit.

That said Sue is an extra legitimate royal, not the Morgana equivalent. Maybe Gwen should be Gwen, especially since I have thought Gwen/Johnny/Peter has potential since reading Spider-Man/Fantastic Four (which if you read an earlier ask, I recommend if you want to see new art of Gwen being mean in hair clips). But Peter/Gwen and Merlin/Freya are like...same energy except the latter wasn’t as well done. And Merlin’s Guinevere honestly more reminds me of Betty. Morgana--

(wheeze)

(cough)

Okay I thought this trying to reconcile as much of the cast as possible and I now can’t unthink it so. The king’s ward is Dorrie Evans. Yes she goes nebulously sapphic evil witch queen. Sure she was an unpleasant teenager and readers hate her, but you know what, I’ll simp, whatever. Let Dorrie poison some people. In a cape. This feels natural to me. Also Betty Brant and Dorrie Evans???? Betty/Dorrie vibes???? I guess!!!!

So like. The thing where Arthur gets mystically whammied by love potions once a month, except also Johnny’s normal relationship-anticipating giddiness happening organically mixed in, the part before he actually starts dating someone and becomes immediately depressed. Peter is in the bg sarcastically dismissing magical incidents saying he can’t even tell the difference, and Reed is like 😬 Please Check Anyway. Peter’s not, haha, Peter’s not jealous, Johnny is just an idiot, and, okay maybe Peter is a little jealous! But it doesn’t matter because the prince is going to marry some noble and--

Reed: Prince Johnathan is a bit like a little brother to me, so Please Stop Telling Me About Your Problems.

Reed/Sue is reciprocated but on permanent hold for class reasons. Spideytorch is in the same boat except they’re also stupid and working it out by dating their way through the whole country, except Peter is actually into that and Johnny is not.

The dragon is...Ezekiel?????? That’s the right level of wise wry mentor who’s very shady and will kill you, so he’s a dragon now. And when he tells Peter he’s the (other) chosen one, Peter full stop doesn’t believe him. This disbelief goes on extensively. Peter is not a fate-oriented person. Johnny would love to hear about the fate thing, but no one will tell him.

Literally I’m just going to add more chronologically unmoored medievalish shit to Merlin now to cram more of the cast in. There’s some kind of town crier/herald outfit, and Jonah is their boss. He’s just out in the road yelling sometimes even though he can delegate that. The buglers otherwise known as Bugle staff named Peter’s vigilante persona the Spider, which was supposed to sound menacing but is in practice also cool. This is out-of-universe fairly equivalent to Merlin’s real name as a neat two-syllable animal word and possible title. In-universe maybe I’d elbow out Emrys and just use this. Merlin is already very servants-don’t-work-like-that, so Betty just also has two jobs for no reason so she can knock elbows with them.

MJ is the court jester and knows absolutely everything, which is a dramatic mid-game reveal that isn’t exactly foreshadowed so much as always possible while carefully obscured from the viewer (the reader). Before this she’s already a Wise Fool, Shakespeare-ways archetype character, it’s just not clear how much. She is the most important character in Homestuck Merlin Spider.

Every ship is real for at least 30 seconds. Most of the extended FF cast are either magical antagonists or weird nobles.

Ben????? (Grimm, I mean. Ben Parker is dead. Ben Reilly is a recurring episodic plot.) This show was painfully formulaic and would simply not keep someone with any version of his deal in the main cast, but he’s a full quarter of the FF so. A magical accident approximated his rock body deal. Maybe specifically tying him to ~the magic of the land~. And then, uh. Wandering the country is too satellite-like. Hiding out in a forbidden castle wing is interesting but doesn’t do him justice. So I guess it’s a come and go semivoluntary transformation thing that’s kept secret? Rock werewolf. Were-rock. Good opportunity to fake out like you’re going to do a monster of the week plot, and then he contributes to the tension to abolish the magic ban.

Knights?? Wyatt is there from the beginning, being tall and reassuring (holding a sword edition). Not sure how him or his immediate ancestors got to Europe and then ended up this involved with the local nobility, but it was probably exciting. And Flash, or he’s an early addition. Either way he’s from the same village as Peter and is approximately White’s Kay, except directed at the wizard instead of the future king, and otherwise you can completely superimpose their comic dynamic including the fanboying over the secret identity angle, which is entertainingly seditious. ...Others. I don’t know enough FF characters for this. I’ve accidentally implied the eventual addition of Bennet Brant, but his evil sorcerer of the week energy is very strong, so maybe not. Randy eventually because I already implied the Robertsons and can see it.

This is so long, covers nothing, and explains none of the namechecks. Using both these characters’ franchises in one fusion is too much stuff. I keep not talking about the core relationship because it’s just. Like That. I don’t feel like I need to elaborate on the Merthur dynamic, even transposed on a different ship. It’s Just Like That.

[bellamyblakru]

“I have you, it’s okay.” + Merthur 💛 also omg I'm so glad you want to get into writing I can't wait to read it!

thank you so much🥺, you guys have been too kind😭😭 im so excited!! i really love writing, but i learned from that first one that it’s exhausting 😂 gah i love merthur, lets do this (also, the knights are all alive bc i love them//shade lancelot did happen but merlin brought him back for good good) ALSO, this drabble really ran for more than i was actually going for lmfao im sorry its so long

Merlin didn’t know how he wanted Arthur to find out about his magic. Most of Merlin’s recurring nightmares consist of the possibility that Arthur will react the wrong way. After all these years, Merlin dying on the pyre wouldn’t be the worst situation. What Merlin truly dreaded the most was the inevitable betrayal that he would see in Arthur’s eyes, the look he gets when someone he loves hurts him in the most personal way. The look where Arthur thinks he is the problem, not those betraying him. Agravaine, Morgana, Gwen, and even shade-Lancelot made Arthur vulnerable enough for him to love them just to be stabbed in the back one way or another because of it. Arthur blames himself when his people turn their backs on him, and Merlin refuses to get that look from Arthur.

 Killing Merlin, as horrible as it sounds, would probably be kinder. Merlin cares more for Arthur than words could describe. It wasn’t because of prophecy, or because Arthur was a good person and an even better King, it was because Merlin loves Arthur. It is as simple as that. Merlin loves the way Arthur smirks when bantering, the way he smiles when he is helping someone in need, the way he fights for his people, the way he never gives up hope no matter what happens or who they face, the way his eyes light up when sparring with his knights. Imagining Arthur shutting him out, away from his light, was a staggering enough thought that kept Merlin quiet.

At first, it was because of Uther. Merlin wouldn’t make Arthur pick between them, even if Merlin always thought that Arthur would always pick Uther. Then it was Morgana, then it was every little excuse that allowed Merlin to push back the truth further behind his happy facade. Arthur expressed his hatred of magic enough to let Merlin understand that he wouldn’t be accepted...even if Merlin was magic itself. 

There has never been a person more devoted to another human than Merlin to Arthur. Without one, there was no other. The castle knew this, as did the knights. Gwaine and Lancelot would tease him relentlessly about his love for Arthur, but even they did not know the half of his dedication to the Once and Future King. 

Merlin is the most powerful warlock to ever walk to earth, and he was terrified to tell his best friend his two deepest secrets. The warlock part, of course, and the part where Merlin’s entire existence was to serve, protect, and love Arthur to his dying breath. Merlin believes that Arthur might have an inkling that Merlin is truly in love with him, but Arthur never let too much show between them if he does know. Servant and King. The one born because of magic and the one born made of magic. Two sides, one coin (if the large reptile had a say in this). They were like the sun and the moon, destined to rotate but not touch. Arthur was Merlin’s sun, his light, his hopes, his destiny. 

Today was hunting day for Arthur, which meant Merlin pretended to grumble the whole morning about spending time with the knights and the king simply so he could see Arthur’s eyes light up with that playful glow. The Knights of the Roundtable were with them today, to Merlin’s delight. Gwaine and Lancelot were finally getting closer to each other through Merlin, and he couldn’t be more enthusiastic about it. They were the closest to brothers he ever had, and he was so grateful to have them in his life. Lancelot was welcomed back after the whole scandal since Morgana was outed, but Gwen decided to permanently end things with Arthur. Merlin was upset they weren’t together anymore, but Arthur did not seem too distraught about the news. Arthur probably sees the way Lancelot looks at Gwen and figured he couldn’t compete with that love, which made Merlin’s heart clench painfully.

Merlin was riding beside Arthur when the unimaginable happened. The forest was quiet in the way that made Merlin’s magic crawl, but no one seemed concerned with his fears. Merlin knew better. Right before the army ambushed, Merlin simply looked at Arthur. Arthur looked like he was bathing in sunlight, with a golden halo and his sparking sword hanging by his side, laughing at something Gwaine was talking about. Merlin’s life was Arthur’s well-being, and if it meant Arthur hated him for the rest of his life, then so be it.

The minute they entered the clearing, the laughter died. The knights reacted immediately with their King leading the way, swinging off their horses and preparing for battle. The army wasn’t too big, but it was Morgana’s—meaning magic users of different degrees everywhere. Her army did not look impressive, but the true power was in the hidden fact that each one of her soldiers wielded some magic. Merlin could feel it in the air. He could almost taste the potential power these people had, and he knew today was the day he has been dreading since he realized his love for Arthur.

Today was the day of Merlin’s betrayal—but it was the only choice. Arthur’s safety goes beyond what Merlin wanted..it always would, no matter how this ended.

Merlin didn’t waste any more time. He spelled the knights and his king to the ground with one look, saw the shocked expressions on different faces (he didn’t dare look at Arthur yet), but he did not let himself ponder them for too long. He thought up a shield then, putting those he loved in a bright, golden bubble of protection. Knowing they were safe allowed Merlin to relax for a second before turning his attention to the problem coming at him. He counted thirty sorcerers, with Morgana leading the charge. He took a second to truly look at Morgana. Her hair was matted, her clothing ripped, her eyes were darkened by the nightmares she is no doubt plagued with. He felt such pity and sorrow at that moment, a feeling so intense that time itself stopped around him. 

He walked up to Morgana, whose eyes were frozen gold with fury. He saw Aithusa in the back, and allowed time to continue for her alone. He spoke quietly to her, telling her how he is sorry for letting her stray so far and how he wasn’t there for her when she needed him the most. Aithusa, although weary, came closer to Merlin and let him pet her nose. Through the connection, she could see why Merlin wasn’t there for her, or more precisely, who Merlin had to protect above everyone and everything else. Aithusa, by command of Merlin, left then to Kilgharrah who would see to her recovery. Feeling better that his kin would be seen to after this, he focused his attention back to Morgana.

He then unfroze her. She, unexpectedly freed, fell to the ground. She was petrified, Merlin could tell. Her destiny, her doom. He was who she feared at night, who kept her awake after the nightmares, the one who poisoned her for the love of Camelot. Morgana was many things, but a coward is not one of them. She stood her ground, as regally as one can manage after falling, and looked Merlin in the eyes. What she wasn’t expecting was the pain she saw, for her. She started, not understanding his emotion. Quickly, too quickly for anyone to comprehend, Merlin grabbed both sides of her face and chanted with such sadness and despair. He pleaded to the earth’s magic to take her powers, and to use them for good, to help those in need. The earth responded kindly to his request, and it did what was asked of it. Morgana quickly fell asleep in Merlin’s arms, while Merlin was slowly crying over his lost, hurting friend. 

Time unfroze. The army halted, seeing Morgana’s magic flowing into the earth, and decided that a retreat would be more beneficial than attacking Emrys. Merlin could feel the magic leave Morgana, leaving behind a broken girl who’s heart has been hurt too many times to be fair. She deserves another chance, Merlin pleaded once more, and with that thought, the earth healed her enough to be able to live without her powers. She will live, the ground whispered to Merlin, and he tried to choke back a sob. Arthur could have another chance with his sister, and Gwen could finally have her best friend back—if Morgana wished, of course. Gwaine came behind Merlin and slowly peeled her away from him. Merlin staggered up, never using that much raw power before in his life, and started swaying. 

“I have you, it’s okay,” Merlin thought he heard Arthur quaver to him. Strong arms picked him up, and although Merlin was slowly fading, he swore he saw an angel lift him up, crying about how much Merlin meant to him. He passed out before he could make sense of it.

What isn’t said here is the simple fact that Arthur loves Merlin. Arthur loves the way Merlin smiles when he knows he is being sassy, the way his nose crinkles when he disagrees with something Arthur has said, the way Merlin’s eyes look when he says something abnormally wise to Arthur. Arthur is who he is because Merlin believes in him and magic isn’t going to throw it away. Arthur may not understand what just happened, but it wasn’t destructive, or cruel, or evil. It was pure, beautiful magic that only aimed to save the people around it—and wasn’t that who Merlin was at the end of the day? The magic felt like home, like love, so like Merlin that Arthur’s breath caught in his throat. 

He didn’t feel betrayed, surprisingly. He was hurt that Merlin couldn’t trust something so vital, so beautiful about himself because Arthur’s father was a tyrant and drilled something so wrong into Arthur’s mind. But never again will Arthur be swayed by his father’s ghost. Merlin saved him, probably more times than he could count as he continues looking back on their adventures. 

Arthur loves Merlin as much as Merlin loves Arthur, so he knows that no matter what happens after today, that fact will never change. 

[kinnabaris]

Just finished Merlin. I’m a wreck.

I think the first time I have ever blogged about something here on Tumblr it was about the 2013 MCM London Comic Con, when I went to a Merlin panel with @ilovetextingandscones and then met Alexander Vlahos and Tom Hopper, although I had barely watched half a season of it, so it feels only appropriate to dedicate one of my rare posts to the day in which I have finally watched the final episode of the final season, 5x12-13, and I am an emotional mess because of it. Probably, if I had watched all of it before that panel, I would have barely been able to stand on my legs meeting Tom and Alex, although it would have been much, much worse with Colin, whom I have seen twice in theatre plays (Mojo and The Tempest at the Globe) and fuck, I wish I had watched Merlin sooner to be properly in awe of him upon seeing him. 

Damn, where do I start? The Diamond of the Day hit me hard. Real hard. It is a crescendo of emotions, and not only because of the battle, the deaths of such good and much-loved characters and stuff, but also because it starts out with two very painful occurrences: not only has Mordred revealed Merlin's identity as Emrys to Morgana, so she sends that sort of black, eyeless slug to suck out Merlin's magic and he's defenceless right when Arthur needs him the most, but also, in order to try and recover said magic, he has to tell Arthur he won't be with him for the battle and the king looks so genuinely betrayed. As us viewers know that Merlin doesn't deserve this, it stings, it's a subtle and enduring pain, because you feel as if they're running out of time and there will be no chance for them to be as they were before.

You know, Merlin, all those jokes about you being a coward... I never really meant any of them. I always thought you were the bravest man I ever met. Guess I was wrong.

Then, of course, the battle takes place, but the tension accompanying it comes from an entire season build-up: the fifth season is a gradual progression of anxiety in which, just like Merlin, you stare warily at Mordred, remembering what he said as a child ("I shall never forgive this, Emrys, and I shall never forget") and knowing he will be the one to kill Arthur, and watch Merlin try to avert the impending doom without succeeding, rather ensuring it with every single choice he makes.

Intertwined with the battle, starting just a little before it, is the Crystal Cave sequence, and I swear, when Merlin is trapped and screams that heartwrenching scream, desperate, hopeless, fearing that he will never recover the magic that he was born with and that Arthur will die because of it, I felt as if my heart was being ripped from my chest. The pain was only mitigated by the whole conversation with his father, a very touching moment, and especially the fact that Balinor told his son that he is made of the very magic that is the fabric of the earth and no one can take that away from him (huge sigh of relief on my part at that).

This gave me hope and made it all the more exciting to see him rise from the cave like Gandalf the White and ride towards Camlann on that horse (which is basically Shadowfax, very Gandalf too). When he gets there it's even more powerful and satisfying to see him cut through Morgana's ranks with lightning thanks to his staff (again, Gandalf) and slam her against the wall.

When Arthur gets stabbed and Mordred dies, the countdown to the end starts ticking even more loudly, but then I thought that there was still so much to say, so much to repair in Arthur and Merlin’s relationship. Because this relationship is the core of the story, no other surpasses it - and it pains me to count below it even the father-son bond that Merlin and Gaius share, because it is sweet and profound and Gaius is my fave - and there was no way it could finish like this, riddled with misunderstandings. Hence, the best part of it all started for me when Merlin lifted Arthur’s unconscious, wounded body and left for Avalon.

Sure, it was not easy watching Arthur react to Merlin's revelation, but it was rewarding to hear that he might not have executed his servant had he decided to reveal himself sooner, and even more rewarding was it to hear that Merlin didn't do it so that he wouldn’t put his friend in such a conundrum.

Arthur: Why did you never tell me?

Merlin: I wanted to, but...

Arthur: What?

Merlin: You'd have chopped my head off.

Arthur: I'm not sure what I'd have done.

Merlin: And I didn't want to put you in that position.

Arthur: That's what worried you?

Merlin: Some men are born to plow fields, some live to be great physicians, others to be great kings. Me? I was born to serve you, Arthur, and I'm proud of that, and I wouldn't change a thing.

Of course Arthur feels betrayed at the beginning. Betrayed by the last person who could have betrayed him after his father, his uncle, his half-sister, his most loyal knight, his wife - he’s got such a big heart and he doesn’t deserve it being shattered every time, but alas, that’s his lot in this world. But then, as time goes by and he sees Merlin perform magic, he realises just how much he did for him without never seeking credit - a recurring theme throughout the five seasons, that Merlin is always royally frustrated about - employing the magic that had only been used to take so much from him until then. It's a nice, redeeming ending for the whole ‘magic is bad and can only be used for evil' theme that started off the series, as now Arthur can really see magic being used for good like he has never seen it before.

Arthur: All these years, Merlin. You never once sought any credit.

Merlin: It's not why I do it.

In the meantime, Morgana tortures Gwaine to discover where Arthur and Merlin are headed, Percival hears him scream and breaks free from the ropes tying him only to reach his friend, who barely manages to tell him that Morgana knows where Merlin and Arthur are headed before dying in his arms. Yay, another big crack in my heart was just what I needed. And what’s worse is that he thinks he has failed his friend. Goddamnit you absolutely did NOT! Gwaine, my precious baby... I will just split my consciousness the way I do with Fred Weasley, so I can just remove his death from memory as non-existent. Because. It. Never. Happened. NEVAH.

To counterbalance this wave of depression, I had another moment that positively broke me, but in a good way, tying another loose end: Arthur almost never apologises for anything and mocks Merlin, albeit mostly good-humouredly, throughout the show. And now not only his view of magic is changing, but also his perspective on his friend and on his own behaviour towards him. I don’t say I started crying then because I was already copiously doing so, but I think I let out a little wail, just for the sake of punctuating the importance of the moment.

Arthur: Merlin. Whatever happens...

Merlin: Shh. Don't talk.

Arthur: I'm the king, Merlin. You can't tell me what to do.

Merlin: I always have. I'm not going to change now.

Arthur: I don't want you to change. I want you... to always... be you. I'm sorry about how I treated you.

They are about to reach Avalon when Morgana catches up with them, but Merlin stabs her with Excalibur, gently easing her fall like he did when he poisoned her and her hatred for him began. A nice touch, because it’s a violent, tragic scene, but you still see a shadow of the friendship there used to be. Sometimes during series 3 to 5 I thought about how tragically, abruptly this relationship was brought to an end and really it was such a shame, their interaction was very sweet. She was very sweet actually. Sarcastic, fierce, but a sweet cutiepie nevertheless.

Then Arthur is too weak to move and we get to the last dialogue:

Arthur: With all your magic, Merlin, and you can’t save my life.

Merlin: I can. I’m not going to lose you.

Arthur: Just… Just hold me. Please. There’s something I want to say…

Merlin: You’re not going to say goodbye!

Arthur: No, Merlin… Everything you’ve done. I know now. For me, for Camelot. For the kingdom you helped me build…

Merlin: You’d have done it without me.

Arthur: Maybe. I want to say…something I’ve never said to you before. Thank you.

Merlin: Arthur… No! Arthur! Arthur! Arthur! Come on! Arthur!

I am not even sure I can comment it properly. It encapsulates so much of their story and their relationship, their intertwined destiny, the future they sought to build for Albion, their constant, unwavering friendship and loyalty... and the fact that, as Merlin had to keep his powers a secret, not once was his help fully acknowledged. So, basically, that small, final “thank you” hit me with the force of a truck on a high-speed train.

Merlin asks for one last favour from Kilgharrah - another painful detail, the Great Dragon is getting old and his wings are all tattered, so depressing ffs - who takes them to the lake and, for the last time, after throwing Excalibur in the water for Freya to catch it, Merlin lays someone he loves in a boat and enchants it to drift far from the shore, towards the realm of the Sidhe, where Arthur will reside until Albion will be in its hour of greatest need and he shall rise again. The last shot is of an elderly, modernly-dressed Merlin walking by a road, near the lake and the Sidhe tower now half-ruined, waiting for the time to come. This too was a subtly depressing scene for me, because the modern setting implies that he is now alone. He alone is immortal, so no Gaius. No Gwen. No Percival. No Leon. No one. Just him. Alone. Waiting.

***

I thought I would calm down a bit after writing, putting pen to paper always helps me process things, but the truth is that, despite knowing how it would end, I didn’t manage to be ready for it anyway, so it hit me full force. I don’t have much else to fill my life with feelings-wise, so these stories represent almost all my emotional nourishment and it has proven time and again impossible to treat them with more detachment, just enough for me not to get hurt. I watched Merlin and Arthur’s relationship blossom and grow for five seasons, I saw mutual trust and respect on a deep level, but also jokes and fun with a pinch of irony and mischievousness. Despite the prince-servant context, they were equals, they were friends, none of the two felt subordinate to the other, they would trust each other with their lives and often did. And there was, above all, fierce, raw, mutual love and loyalty. I mean, what more could I ask from a story, from a relationship?

[Note to self: go and read The Student Prince and listen to and watch everything Merlin-related I have missed in these seven years. As soon as I stop howling, that is.]

[tiodolma]

here are my thoughts.

in s1-s3 he would still had been politcally disadvantaged if he revealed himself. He would have been up against royalty/nobility and that upper echelon of society had majority of public sway. Sorcerers were still 2nd rate citizens especially with Uther, who was the symbol of persecution, still alive.

Nobility can just command armies and entire countries to turn tolerance to hate and paraonoia in a very short span of time.

Meanwhile for someone that is landless and poor as Merlin, outwardly subjecting people to his power and will can be the source of awe, inspiration as well fear... And ...Fear ...is the best weapon for authoritarian rulers. It will only take just one suggestion, just one insidious rumor, that Merlin/Emrys is doom/end of humankind to turn Merlin from a savior/hero to a designated villain.

Even if he was the most powerful warlock, he wouldn't be able to keep everyone he loved safe. Hunith and Gaius could have been easily used as bargaining chip against him.

People say he should've revealed himself to Morgana at these timeline. But with Morgana still in Camelot and Morgause alive, that would've backfired against him too easily. (it'd be cool if he still took the chance tho)

s4-s5 would have been the best time for a reveal. because his friend Arthur was already king. he could have challenged the nobility this time because he and Arthur were friends.

Unfortunately I think this is when Gaius's teachings have borne their fruit. The lies have gone far too deep. And unfortunately for everybody, Merlin has already completely tied his entire sense of self and ego to Arthur's approval and survival. So to me maybe he can't bear seeing Arthur get hurt over his betrayal. He'd rather kill himself than experience that. He'd rather die that see Arthur get killed. At least that was what I was thinking while watching the whole show.

Another thing I noticed was that Gaius adamantly wanted to use the secret as leverage against Morgana. Gaius led him to believe that everyone would be in danger if his secret got out.

My own guess though was that Gaius probably had a feeling that Morgana had grown in wisdom and technique compared to Merlin.

Gaius's persecution and disdain of black magic has backfired because it's starting to get used against them. He and Merlin will never be ready. If anything bad happened, Camelot would lose their only weapon against magic, who was Merlin.

If Merlin was the gifted prodigy, then Morgana was the hardworker who has surpassed him in technical know-how. Merlin would have been ill-prepared for anything that Morgana threw at him. Morgana is the one with actual proper and formal training in normal + dark magic after all. Merlin is basically like a recycler who just thrifted whatever spell he could pick up. That's why when Morgana finally found out who Emrys was, she got the counterattack ready at the soonest possible time. Gaius feared that most of all.

............

So for me it's three major things: He kept putting off the magic reveal / kept his secret to the point of murder because

He couldn't bear Arthur's disappointment in him. It would kill him, He wanted to do the reveal at least on his own terms;

He wanted to pull one over Morgana all the time. Morgana can never know because Morgana had the knowledge and means to incapacitate him, and without him, Arthur wouldn't be safe, if Arthur was harmed, he would failed his mission;

And he believes that is his Duty and that he's doing the Right Thing because that was what Gaius and Kilgharrah have told him to.

It doesn't matter if he's the most powerful warlock who can use himself as diplomatic tool. At this time, he has become so closed off and isolated from others. There's no one else who could tell him that there was another way. All he had were Kilgharrah and Gaius. Or maybe he had given up learning/looking for other ways because whenever he tried to defy the two old coots in S1-S3, something tragic usually happened. The fight in him is gone. The end result is that he was stuck in the idealogy to the point where he's thinking only in extremes most of the times.

Also if I'm not mistaken he was only aware that he was immortal when spiritBalinor talked to him in the Crystal Caves. He was only informed of his true nature in the last episode. (which is a waste because man, he couldve done so much more if he had understood earlier that he wont be able to die even if he wanted to.)

where is that meta of merlin having higher kill count than morgana (and arthur) oh god

the implications of it

but to everyone morgana is still evil-er.. and why? coz she killed senselessly?

as if merlin is any better bro. Merlin "u harmed gaius/the royals/the essence of my secret so therefore you must die, goodbye." Emrys

hhhhhhh

this merlin "where in my destiny does it say i have to murder people" emrys

son, that didnt age well. that didnt age well at all.

[maraleestuff]

Merlin fic idea

I'm a bit late to this, but I have an idea for a fix-it fanfic that I'll probably never get around to writing

(This idea is aimed at Morgana x Gwen / Merlin x Arthur shippers, but I'll try not to make it too ship themed if I can help it. Disclaimer: I'm writing it as it comes to me, so we'll see what happens)

So imagine:

Arthur survives after Merlin's magic is revealed. (Like maybe he summoned Kilgarrah earlier...)

Mordred and Morgana survive and get a huge redemption arc. (I don't really remember what happened with Mordred, but I think Merlin and Morgana fight one last time after Arthur is injured?)

- Maybe Morgana is able to be reached. There's still a small, good part of her -- only a fraction of who she was years ago, after years of the hate and the fear -- but it's there all the same. Perhaps Merlin reaches Mordred too, to the boy he knew, and all he can do is apologize, which isn't worth much -- but Mordred reaches out to Morgana. Not for Merlin, but because of Morgana, the kind woman he knew all that time ago.

- Morgana has just overpowered Merlin when Mordred reaches her. Reaches that warmth inside all that cold; reminds her of the good, of the briefest glimpse of her childhood before becoming Uther's ward -- before the nightmares, the terrible visions, and her magic --

- It's a distant memory. Hardly tangible. She hesitates on the killing blow to Merlin -- Emrys, her doom -- only briefly.

- Yet long enough for Arthur to promise that he will lift the ban on magic.

- Morgana laughs. It's broken, twisted; she knows how close to death that Arthur is. The promise was empty and hollow.

- But somehow Merlin convinces her. Promises he will do anything if Morgana will help save Arthur's life, even if it meant giving up his magic forever. (They were both born of magic, two sides of the same coin, sure his magic could be connected to Arthur as well?)

- Progress is slow, getting Arthur to the threshold of the Old Religion. And despite the uneasy truce of the three sorcerers, it was really difficult to ignore the years of trying to kill each other. Merlin can't sleep, not with either near a nearly unconscious Arthur. Morgana almost slits Merlin's throat when a twig snaps, and Merlin nearly threw Mordred across a river when he stepped too close to Arthur.

- As it turned out, Arthur was able to be healed the same way that Merlin's magic was restored. It took all of the magic that the trio had, leaving them almost unconscious; Merlin was shocked to wake and find Morgana and Mordred gone, and incredibly relieved to find Arthur alive, breathing, and only slightly irritated at Merlin.

--

Arthur and Merlin return to Camelot, a bit bruised and definitely different. But there is distance between them, noticed by everyone who knew of Arthur's bumbling but earnest and kind servant. (Merlin, despite not being officially relieved of his duties, spends most of his time helping Gaius treat those injured in battle. Strangely, though, once the shock passes, Arthur starts the ground work to lift the ban on magic.)

- As expected, there is disbelief. King Arthur, son of the Uther Pendragon, was suggesting leniency on the practice of sorcery?

- It takes many long sessions of listening to the complaints of Uther's major supporters, the fear and disbelief, before Arthur makes any progress in assuring his people that he wasn't enchanted or being impersonated in any way, and his people were not in danger at the mere mention of magic.

But finally, when the time is right, it's official: magic is no longer outlawed in Camelot. And Merlin, the unassuming, clumsy servant who was always at Arthur's side, was officially the Court Sorcerer/ Wizard/ Warlock of Camelot.

- Naturally, there are many reactions. Disbelief, laughter, anger, some fear, which Arthur is mostly able to stave off after some close calls to some unruly assassins.

- But Merlin is consulted on all magical matters, from concerned citizens to curious children to even aspiring wizards. He helps Arthur figure out the difficulties that came with allowing magic: the loopholes, the limits, and making sure the people abide by it. (Another long process.) Merlin also meets with the Druids often, sometimes with Arthur himself, to assure their safety, sanctuary and assistance. He often takes their council in magical matters, as well as Kilgarrah's, and even learns from them about the history and practices of magic.

- George becomes Arthur's official manservant, but he doesn't complain when Merlin swoops in because it's highly amusing how the servant gets under Merlin's skin. (Plus Merlin is a better servant -- and better company, which Arthur would never admit.) It also makes Merlin more attentive without him realizing it.

--

In the next year after magic is allowed, no one hears much of anything about Morgana or Mordred. There's disappearances of known witchhunters, but otherwise it's as if they disappeared.

- Fate eventually throws Arthur, Merlin, and his knights together with Morgana and Mordred. It's many adventures and many months before they even begin to trust each other. Even then the people of Camelot refuse to trust Morgana, Merlin and Arthur feel about the same, and they come calling for her head.

- It's Gwen, of all people, who stops the execution before it begins. She not naive, though, and would rather not see Morgana again if she didn't have to. But she knew for certain one thing: there had been enough death. Morgana has to live with what she has done and who she has become.

- No one's quite sure what to do with her, but Gwen spends many sleepless nights listening to Arthur just breathe. Morgana played a part in healing him, she knew, but she also played a part in his near death -- both are incredibly hard to ignore. Not to mention the torment Morgana had put her through.

- Drawn to the dungeon, Gwen stands before Morgana's cell. She's not even tempted to free her, even knowing she could do so -- whether leaving Morgana a fugitive or in exile. But Gwen only stares at the woman she used to serve, turned over in her cell, her hair falling back over her partly ratted dress. There were cuffs around her wrists, not to restrain her; they were enchanted to block her magic. It was a touch that no one could really argue with.

- Gwen remembers who she was all those years ago. Morgana, bravely defying Uther, or encouraging Arthur to follow his instincts. Herself quiet, the daughter of a blacksmith. Oh, what the years had brought. How they'd changed so much.

- It was after many of these nights that Morgana finally broke the silence, her voice rough. She demanded to know what Gwen wanted. Despite the time working with Arthur and Merlin (and then disappearing), Gwen hadn't seen much of her. She'd felt ill during Morgana's appeal, but had glimpsed Morgana when the guards took her to the main hall.

- Gwen couldn't bring herself to speak. Not right away. There was too much to say, and she didn't even know if she wanted to try. But after time, she managed.

- Morgana told her that, after leaving Arthur and Merlin, she and Mordred took shelter near the edges of Camelot. She didn't bother killing Merlin or Arthur because she was barely awake when Mordred carried her away. They took shelter in a small, nameless village. Eventually they heard word that magic was allowed in Camelot, from a group of rogue Druids who refused to follow Arthur's rule -- they were afraid of the moment Arthur followed in his father's footsteps.

- They decided to stay with them. The group traveled around the kingdoms, hunting those who had hunted them. In the meantime, Morgana decided what she wanted -- whether she would try to get the throne from Arthur or not. In the end she had been captured while tracking a witchhunter -- one that Arthur and Merlin were trying to protect Camelot's people from. It was Percival who had insisted on bringing her in.

--

Gwen and Morgana slowly make their way into tentative friendship. It's more at the surface at first, and both refuse to let their guard down. But feelings surface in Gwen -- old and new -- which had been pushed down.

Arthur and Merlin also grow closer. It's inevitable with nearly rebuilding Camelot as they know it.

Everyone's in denial. Especially with obvious complications.

--

I'm not really sure where this ends with their relationships. But here's the ideas that I got:

A) Arthur and Merlin "leave" Camelot to live together in Ealdor. Merlin trains a promising apprentice to be the new Court Sorcerer, but is often bombarded for advice through letters or visitors. At the same time, Gwen (rule was turned over to her) and Morgana marry and rule over Camelot together. (I have no idea if it would happen or how, but everyone's gay and happy. Also Gwaine and Lancelot are alive.)

B) Sort of the same, but Arthur and Merlin rule over Camelot while Gwen and Morgana go to live with the Druid nomads.

--

Tl;dr: Everyone lives (ideally), and magic is no longer outlawed.

Note: I'm aware that realistically it would be a lot for anyone, especially Gwen, to trust Morgana again after all she's done. There would be a lot of trial and error, and as much as I love the ship, it couldn't just happen after canon.

As for Murther, they're both pretty much a package deal at this point. Although there would be a lot of Merlin explaining their adventures further, without Arthur at death's door, they'd be even closer through the thick of it. Whether or not they end up romantically involved.

There's a lot I probably didn't think of, but this idea wouldn't leave me alone. Feel free to add on if ya like!! :)

(Also I dont know how to spell Gwen's full name, or the Morgana x Gwen ship name. So.)