#from the idea of a barbarian wood elf

[spacebarbarianweird]

Punishment

Synopsis: Domestic hurt\comfort becomes domestic smut because Tiriel should have listened to her vampire and not risk her life.

Tags: hurt\comfort, smut, dom!Astarion, very long prelude to the smut, a lot of butt slapping + also some complications of having an active sex life when you have a child Based on this amazing art by @mutualcombat

Thanks @themadlu for beta-reading!

Read on AO3

Masterlist

Headcanons

The fall was painful.

An enemy, a resurrected skeleton in heavy armor, easily pushed Tiriel from the cliff. Her armor and weapon left her no place for maneuver and the barbarian fell on the thin layer of ice that was covering the black waters of a lake.

Pain pierced her body. Tiriel gasped – every breath was agonizing as her ribs were broken. She coughed and immediately realized that a bone damaged the lungs.

Stupid, she thinks. So stupid. 

The ice cracks and the waters take Tiriel.

**

“O’su, why are you angry?” Alethaine rubs her sleepy eyes.Whether her dhampirism is to blame or the quarter of human blood in her body, the girl sleeps like a cat, for much longer than human kids her age. 

Astarion doesn’t mind this quirk of hers. 

When she sleeps, she can’t run up to the ceiling and fall from there. And she won’t try to escape outside, especially at night following the call only vampires and dhampirs can hear.

“I am not!” Astarion huffs putting food onto a plate. The four-year-old elf yawns and grabs a spoon in a very clumsy manner. Then she sticks it into the oatmeal and Astarion suspects Alethaine is trying to find sweet pieces of berries there. 

“You are angry,” Alethaine says. “I heard you and Mum fighting yesterday.”

“You didn’t.”

“I did!” Alethaine gets anoyed and hits the table with her small hand. “You were fighting!”

Astarion crosses his arms. Well, as a half undead Alethaine has extremely acute hearing. So acute that no matter how hard her parents try, she does hear noises from their bedroom she can’t yet comprehend.

And of course, she did hear her parents yelling at each other outside the house.

“Well, we had some… disagreements.”

Tiriel was offered a job. To help a bunch of adventurers retrieve a treasure from the dungeon deep in the High Wood. And his wife wanted to go so much that she couldn’t care less about what Astarion was saying.

That the job was dangerous.

That those morons who hired her had no idea what they were getting into.

That the weather was so shitty it made Icewind Dale look like Calimshan. 

And Tiriel accused Astarion of controlling her. That he was possessive, that he didn’t want her to go without him – because he was fucking jealous!

Ridiculous. 

“Why?” Alethaine demands answers.

“It was a bad idea to go alone, that’s all!” Astarion says. “Your mother will spend more gold on healing potions than she will earn!”

Alethaine’s ears twitch. She stops eating and pulls away.

“I don’t like when you fight,” she says. 

“I don’t like either, princess. But it’s going to be alright! Your mother will come back and everything will be good!”

“O’si said she was bored,” Alethaine adds. “When she was reading me a story, she told me she was bored at home. Mum wanted to slay a monster like in that book.”

Astarion nods. Well, another thing he sometimes forgets. Whilst he feels comfortable and nice in their house, reading books, sewing clothes, and taking care of their child, Tiriel is a fighter. She is used to the roads, sleeping in the dirt, fighting, and drinking. Domestic life is exhausting – and she doesn't even know how to occupy herself when the blizzard howls in the woods.

When Alethaine was younger, she required all of Tiriel's attention, but now Alethaine is more or less independent – and the barbarian has started feeling…

…Bored…

“Still no excuse to risk herself!” Astarion protests. “Alethaine, your mum fights as if she was a vampire. And before, I used to be there to have her back or drag her to the healer. Those… morons…. Young idiots won’t do that for her!” Astarion quickly corrects himself. 

“What does “moron” mean?”

“You didn’t hear that.”

“I did!”

“It means someone stupid. Just don’t repeat it anywhere, it’s a bad word.”

“Then why did you say it?” 

“Alethaine, eat your breakfast” Astarion bares his fangs as a threat.

The dhampir huffs and takes the spoon. 

The next moment Astairon hears footsteps. Someone is coming to the front door. 

“Vampire!” he hears the healer’s voice. “A quick word!”

Astarion opens the door. The female halfling doesn’t wear a winter jacket even though her house is many blocks away.

And there is an aura of…

Fear…

“What happened?”

And the Astarion catches a familiar scent. Way too familiar to ignore.

The healer’s sleeves are covered in Tiriel’s blood.

**

Tiriel feels like dying. She knows she is dying.

The dark waters dragged her under the ice trying to murder her. So stupid. Astarion warned her not to go and he was right. He has a better perception of danger than her. She should have  listened.

She didn’t.

Was it some stupid pride preventing her from listening to her husband? Or just the exhausting boredom she endured at home?

Anyway, she is dying.

She is leaving her husband and daughter alone.

Alethaine will grow up barely knowing her.

Astarion … Can he survive without her? Twenty-four years is such a short time for him to heal…

Tiriel failed them both.

Then, she starts suffocating. Primal fear suppresses everything sentient about Tiriel – and it awakes the rage in her.

The ice wounds her hands as she crawls to the surface, bleeding and freezing. 

And then the rage leaves her with only a fever.

Ttiriel barely remembers anything after that. She knows someone carried her somewhere. 

Voices, insults. 

A pair of red eyes staring at her in a dimly lit room.

A child crying.

“Is she dying?! Dad, is Mum going to die?!”

Tiriel wants to console her daughter, but she is too weak. The healing potion burns her throat, but it’s not enough to repair the damage. 

“Astarion, she has frostbite. If the potions don’t help, I will have to cut her leg off.”

Tiriel is hit by a wave of panic. No, not cutting her limbs off! No, they can’t do this to her!

Pain. Fever. Thirst. Difficulty breathing. Tiriel wants to scream but she can’t. She can’t move, she can’t see anything.

Another cry. An angry voice forcing the child to go away. 

Gentle hands. Cold skin. 

Astarion.

Tiriel tries to open her eyes to see him but can’t. She needs to see him. She needs to make sure he’s not a hallucination. That he has come to save her. 

But then, the darkness takes her and there is no pain anymore.

**

Astarion leans on the kitchen table. It’s over. Tiriel is getting better. She has made it. They didn't even have to cut her leg.

She is home.

It will take her months to fully heal, of course, but she isn’t dying. That's the most important thing. 

Astarion takes his blood-stained shirt off, suppressing the desire to chew the soaked fabric. 

“Daddy.” 

He turns around and sees the dhampir. She’s been crying – damn, she is still crying – and stands in the kitchen hugging a plushie dragon.

“What is it, princess?”

“Is mum going to be alright?”

“Yes,” Astarion puts on the clean shirt, the one made of black fabric. 

“Why did you yell at me?”

Astarion feels guilty. The last thing he was thinking about was how the whole situation was perceived by a four-year-old child – he just didn’t want her to be in the same room with her mutilated mother.

“I am sorry,” Astarion lifts the girl up. “Sorry for yelling”.

“Is mum really going to be all right or you just say so?” Alethaine insists.

“She is going to be all right… She just needs rest”

“Dad.”

“Hm?”

“We aren’t letting her go anywhere anymore,” Alethaine says. 

Astarion chuckles. “Well, I don’t think we can prevent her from going outside, but you can express your concerns about her behavior”.

**

A week later Tiriel feels more or less capable of standing up. All these days, she was basically nursed by her little family – Astarion was spending all his time near her bed. Alethaine would come to check asking if she needed anything and was extremely proud of herself when Tiriel asked the girl to bring her a glass of water or medicine.

Tiriel gets up, puts on her trousers and a shirt, and goes looking for Astarion. Alethaine is fast asleep in her bed, barely visible among pillows and plushies. 

Perks of not needing to breathe – Alethaine can bury herself in soft blankets and experience nothing but warmth and comfort.

And, if one day she is thrown into a frozen lake she won’t drown.

One less thing to worry about, Tiriel thinks.

Tiriel finds Astarion in the basement where they stash artifacts and gold. 

“Hello, my sweet,” Astarion smiles, but Tiriel knows he is faking it. He is upset. Angry. And gods know what else.

“Hello,” Tiriel sits beside him. “I'm feeling much better.”

“Good.”

The silence is so heavy it causes discomfort. Tiriel touches his shoulder and suddenly he flinches as if this form of intimacy were out of the question.

“Are you angry?” Tiriel asks. 

“Oh, thank you for asking,” Astarion closes the book and throws it at the wall. The heavy volume immediately becomes a pile of paper. “I am!”

Tiriel bites her lip. She is ashamed of herself. Of what she did.

“Why couldn't you listen to me?! Do my words mean nothing to you, Tiriel?!” Astarion's eyes glow red. “You could have died!”

“I am sorry!”

“I am very well aware of the fact I am going to overlive you. But could you not make it happen so soon?! Alethaine was crying her eyes out. Because she fucking saw you bleeding to death! She has nightmares! and I… I…” he sits on the floor grabbing the fistful of his hair. “Tiriel… I…”

The words are stuck in his mouth and Tiriel kneels in front of him. Then, she cups his cheeks and kisses the bridge of his nose. Then she proceeds to kiss his forehead and lips.

“I am sorry, Astarion. I will listen to you next time, I promise.”

“You can’t even understand how much I want to lock you somewhere,” he says.

“Astarion, we’ve been there. I know you are possessive. But love isn’t about control, unless it is a bedroom play.”

He nods and kisses her wrist. 

Tiriel smiles. “How can I … pay for my disobedience?” 

Astarion suspiciously looks at her. He is examining her, she realizes. Trying to understand if he can… make her pay.

Tiriel unfastens the claps of his shirt, baring his chest. Then she kisses his right nipple and teases it with her tongue.

Astarion lets out a moan but, instead of undressing Tiriel, pushes her away.

“Astarion?” she hesitates. How angry is he, actually?

“You told me you want to pay.” He sits on the bench. “Then you will.”

Tiriel giggles.

“As you wish, my lord, '' she says. “How will I do it?”

“Take off your clothes.”

“I obey,” Tiriel undresses and throws the clothes on the stone floor. Astarion studies her body – scars, fresh bruises. Tiriel nods, inviting him to continue their game.

What is he thinking about?

“Turn around,” he orders and she obeys. “Now, kneel!”

Tiril cringes feeling the harsh and cold surface with her knees. Astarion stands beside her and puts his arms on her shoulders. His grasp is strong and Tiriel admires how truly strong he is as a vampire. 

Fangs pierce the nape of her neck. She gasps, but Astarion hardly takes any blood; he just licks some with his cold tongue.

“You were a terribly bad girl,” he murmurs. “Not listening to what I say!”

Tiriel smiles. Astarion is fully clothed, but she suspects he is already hard.

He pinches her nipples forcing her to moan. 

“What are the odds she won't hear us?” Tiriel whispers and Astarion immediately shuts her mouth with his cold palm.

“We could have built torture chambers for people like your recent clients here and princess wouldn’t have suspected anything.”

“Hm, then we need to bring a bed here.”

“Then she will suspect. Now shut up and let me make you pay for your misdeeds!” Astarion clenches his hands around her neck and forces Tiriel to lie on the stone floor. 

She feels his cold finger touching her pussy. He gently tracks along her labia, forcing her core to get wet. 

Tiriel expects him to get inside, but it doesn’t happen as he keeps teasing her. 

“Astarion…”

The next moment, the index finger of his left hand is in her mouth. 

“Suck it!” He orders.

Tiriel wraps her lips around his finger and makes suckling movements trying to catch the same rhythm Astarion has teasing her pussy.

The heat between her legs became unbearable. She wants to beg him to at least fill her with his fingers, but instead, he abruptly lets her go.

She sits up in front of him as if she were enslaved and he was her captor and master deciding her fate. Tiriel waits, letting him savor the image.

Then he kneels in front of her. His smile is coy and his eyes are tender and Tiriel thinks the play is over – and that he is going to become his usual self in terms of sex. Maybe even much sweet and tender – compensation for all the years of rough fucking.

But then, he tugs her to his lap. His free hand tugs her half-elven ear.

And then he slaps her.

The sensation is so unexpected that Tiriel lets out a cry and then feels tears pricking her eyes. Another slap, stronger and rougher.

She elbows up a bit and feels the bump between his legs. 

Then a pause. Astarion waits. Tiriel can leave. She can say she doesn't like it. That the stone floor hurts her elbows, that the whole thing is embarrassing. That she feels cold or not fully healed.

But she doesn’t say anything. Instead,she moves a bit, making it more comfortable for him to keep slapping her naked butt.

SLAP

His hand is cold and strong, and Tiriel knows it will be hard to sit.

SLAP

Tiriel concentrates on the painful pleasure, allowing herself to melt in it. Her whole world is narrowed down to the torture she inflicted upon herself. 

SLAP

“Will you disobey me again?” Astarion demands.

“No, I never will! Aah!”

“What if I say it’s fucking dangerous to go alone next time?”

“I will listen!”

SLAP

“Good,” he stops. His fingers are placed on her pussy again as he gets distracted by her scent.

Tiriel squirms and moans in his arms as he keeps playing with the swell of her sex.

“Please…” Tiriel whimpers.

“What is it, bad girl?”

“I want you inside of me… please…”

But Astarion doesn't listen. His fingers play with her as if she was a musical instrument. Astarion knows all of her sensitive spots. He knows how to make her come, how to make her a mindless half-elf. He's learned her body thoroughly. In a both possessive and selfless way.

Tiriel feels her orgasm approaching. She clenches her fists and lets out a cry as she reaches her peak.

She doesn't feel cold anymore. Tiriel pants and mewls as Astarion finally lets her go.

He caresses her cheek in the most tender way possible and kisses her.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Tiriel puts her hands on the lace of his trousers, but instead of letting her continue, he gently pulls her away.

“No,” Astarion firmly says.

“Why?”

“Because you are still healing.”

“Astarion, are you fucking serious?! You’ve been slapping me!”

“Yes. I was slapping your butt not lying on top of you”.

“We can do it in a different way!”

“And it still involves some form of physical activity from you. Or me absolutely ravishing you. No. You will get better and only then we will fuck each other into  oblivion.”

“And what are you going to do about this?” she pokes the bump to feel the delicious hardness below the fabric.

“I will use my hand.”

“Save it for the time when I am away,” Tiriel unlaces the trousers, freeing his cock.

“Hand or mouth?” she asks, tracing her finger along the shaft. 

“Mouth… And keep…eye contact…please.”

“As you wish,'' Tiriel kisses the tip of his cock. Over the years they have been together, Tiriel learned how his body reacts to her touches. 

In a moment she’s already swallowed it fully – tears flow down her cheeks. She moves her lips and tongue along the shaft, never breaking eye contact. 

Astarion groans and grabs a fistful of her hair. His cock is cold and hard, but his sensitive, soft skin is quickly getting warmer in Tiriel’s mouth, and she wishes to prolong his pleasure.

But it’s so damn cold in the basement.

Suddenly, she feels being pulled away. Tiriel lets the cock go. Astarion grabs it with his free hand, makes a few stroking movements, and then the white liquid spills over her breasts.

Tiriel stands up shivering from the cold, and only now does she realize how truly intense the slapping was.

Astarion laces his trousers and quickly kisses Tiriel's lips and when she tries to put on her clothes back he wraps her shoulders in a blanket and lifts her in the air.

“Let's go to our normal bed,” he says. 

“Only if you stay there with me,” Tiriel pouts.

“Of course, love, of course!”

Minutes later, Tiriel lies in Astarion’s arms –  he’s insisted on wiping her breasts and pussy himself – and now she can just enjoy the comfort.

“Astarion.”

“Hm?”

“I promise to listen to your advice next time.”

“Thank you, love.”

**

By the time spring starts, Tiriel finally feels well enough to wield her weapon and wear her armor. Astarion knows she longs for a fight and a good adventure, and it would be too ungrateful for him to try to lock her down and guilt-trip her into always staying by his side. 

But someone needs to keep an eye on their daughter and Astarion slowly makes peace with the thought that Tiriel will indeed have to go away without him from time to time.

Astarion puts his old bedroll on the stone basement floor. There was a period when this imitation of a bed was the most comfortable thing he owned. Well, there was a period when he thought getting kisses from Tiriel was merely a reward for his services, not a genuine demonstration of affection.

“No, don't go!” he hears Alethaine’s voice. “Mum! Don’t go!”

“It’s all right, kitten. I will be back in a week. I will bring you a gift from Secomber.”

“No! I want you to stay! Dad!” Astarion hears small footsteps – Alethaine is forbidden from going to the basement due to all the dangerous artefacts stashed there, so she stops on the top step. “Dad, Mum is going somewhere! Again!”

Astarion goes up and sees an absolutely angry four-year-old dhampir pointing at her mother who is preparing for a trip.

“That’s all right, she promised not to fight anything stronger than her,” Astarion picks the girl up. 

“She will find things that are stronger!”

Tiriel approaches them, hugs Astarion from behind, and caresses her daughter’s cheek. “Kitten, I will be back soon, you will see. And when you grow up, you will also have someone who won’t want you to go away – but you sometimes will have to.”

“When I am as big as you, I will have a little girl,” Alethaine says. “And when she asks me to stay, I will!”

Astarion chuckles – well, he hasn’t got used to the idea of having a daughter even though she is four and the very idea of having a grandchild eventually sounds even less realistic than him regaining his mortality. 

“That will be your choice,” Tiriel kisses. “What do you want me to get you?”

“I want a book about elves,” Alethaine says.

“Ok, I will take a look for something interesting.”

Alethaine pulls away, showing that she wants to go. Astarion puts her back and the girl immediately disappears into her room. 

“Are you leaving in the morning?” Astarion asks.

Tiriel nods. “Something on your mind?”

“Actually yes,” Astarion takes Tiriel's hand and makes her follow him downstairs. “Besides,” he playfully pushes Tiriel on the bedroll, “Our best nights were on the road in our old tent!”

--

@tugoslovenka  

@herstxrgirl 

@herdarkestnightelegance  

@vixstarria 

@not-so-lost-after-all  

@marcynomercy  

@theearthsfinalconfession 

@starlight-ipomoea    

@micropoe10 

@astarion-imagine-archive  

@veillsar

@elora-the-slutty-songstress  

@fayeriess  

@lumienyx  

@tallymonster    

@caitlincat-95  

@tragedybunny  

@valeprati  

@lynnlovesthestars   

@marina-and-the-memes  

@waking-eyes   

@ayselluna  

@connorsui  

@asterordinary  

@darkarchangel96  

@locallegume  

@brainfullofhotsauce   

@coffeeanddonutscafe  

@my-queen-rhaenyra-targaryen 

@queenofthespacesquids  

@ednaaa-04  

@dajeong

@wilteddreamsofbaldursgate

[quirkwizard]

So recently I have been on a huge tabletop RPG kick so I thought it would be fun to talk about Class 1-A playing their own tabletop game, both the characters they'd play and how they'd be as players. For the sake of this, I will be writing in the context of Dungeons and Dragons 5th Edition since that's the system myself and others would be the most familiar with.

Rikido Sato: Half Orc Life Cleric Doesn't really get the game too much. Tends to forget the rules a lot and his own abilities. Just kind of picked a class at random. Is the king of bringing snacks and the like, all of which are homemade.

Mashirao Ojiro: Wood Elf Open Hand Monk Pretty average in all respects as a player. Not too remarkable in all respects. Doesn't realized how bad the monk is until they started playing, but is too attached to the character and their concept.

Koji Koda: Firbolg Shepard Druid Is only really here to hang out with his friends. Too shy to really do any roleplay with the rest of the gang, mostly doing small moments with his animals friends. Accidently made an overpowered build.

Minoru Mineta: Dhampir Phantom Rogue Knows the rules, but is a power gamer. Uses the game more as a power fantasy to look as cool as possible at all times, even if it is dumb, though will quickly panic if anything goes slightly wrong.

Hanta Sero: Gith Horizon Walker Ranger Really interested in all the lore and history of whatever the dungeon master came up with. The kind that dungeon masters either love or dread. Is the one constantly asking question and cracking the odd joke about it.

Toru Hagakure: Changeling Arcane Trickster Rogue Super big into the roleplay of it all and is always excited. Mostly took Changeling so she'd have the excess to play as many roles as possible. Probably makes little masks to remind people who she currently is.

Yuga Aoyama: Aasimar Glory Paladin Is insanely devoted to the role of the noble paladin, much to the detriment of everyone else. Likely says the line "But it's what my character would do more then any other player. Constantly hints at a backstory that nobody is biting on.

Mezo Shoji: Hobgoblin Gloomstalker Ranger Not the biggest into roleplay, does fairly well with the actual gameplay. Plays the typically reserved ranged. Tried to tie his and Koda's backstory together to try and take some of the stress off of him in terms of roleplaying.

Kyoka Jiro: Half Elf Whispers Bard Wasn't really sure about all of this before play and went with a bard because she liked the idea of playing music. It was a rocky start, but quickly got into it and started having fun. Will make custom songs and playlists for the party, as well ambient tracks and battle music.

Denki Kaminari: Air Genesi Storm Sorcerer Wanted to try it out because it was popular. Went with something he thought was cool and did not expect it to be so complicated. Needs to be constantly handed the book and remined of the rules in order to make sure he gets it. The amount of math hurts his head. Eijiro Kirishima: Goliath Giant Barbarian Like Denki, wanted to get into because it was popular. Bakugou helped a lot with building the character. Has a lot of fun smashing stuff. Plays his role pretty well, even if his character doesn't go beyond the nice brute whose name is very close to Kirishima's own.

Mina Ashido: Satyr Glamour Bard One of the students the most into the roleplaying. Is very light hearted and goofy about the whole thing. Can play a lot in bard stereotypes because she thinks it's funny. Another instigator, though mostly from her getting too into character at the worst of times. Fumikage Tokoyami: Tiefling Fiend Warlock Has been playing the game the longest and super familiar with all of it. Always makes characters he thinks are "cool", which means are super gothic and depress, both in class and in race. Does occasionally have Dark Shadow dress up and roleplay as his patron. Ochako Uraraka: Fairy Zealot Barbarian Ochako just wants to smash stuff. She has a lot of fun rolling dice and doing cool stuff with her friends, both good and bad. Likes playing the typically pixie before going nuts. Can be an instigator, but tends to backtrack when she realizes just how badly it goes wrong. Tsuyu Asui: Halfling Moon Druid Like Koda, is mostly here to have fun with friends. Often plays mediator both in and out of character. Does a good job with roleplaying thanks to how much she had to play pretend with her simplies. Always causes a riot whenever she becomes a dinosaur. Shoto Todoroki: Hill Dwarf Fighter Champion One of the worst players both in game and in roleplay. Played a character Izuku basically made for him. Is somehow still one of the best because he is constantly getting amazing rolls at the most critical moments, much to the frustration of Bakugou.

Katsuki Bakugo: Custom Lineage Chronurgy Wizard Powergamer, no question. He knows the rules back and forth to make the most broken build possible. Acts like D&D is a game you can win, even when it comes to roleplaying. Not a full on murder hobo, but by far the biggest instigator in the group.

Tenya Iida: Warforged Devotion Paladin Very much devoted to the rules, both in and out of the game. Gets confused when people say that he's doing a good job at playing a robot. Collects a lot of dice. One of the best Dungeon Masters of any of the students, though can be rather controlling at times. Momo Yaoyorozu: High Elf Forge Cleric A really good player with the rules though can be pretty awkward with the roleplay with how much she tries to get into it. One of the best DMs in the class. Makes custom miniatures for everyone in the party. Puts a lot of money to make the ultimate game room. Izuku Midoriya: Variant Human Bladesinging Wizard The perfect player. Knows the roles, but focuses more on making characters. Takes the most notes, pay attention, and makes sure everyone is having fun and feels included. Likely gets roped into the role of dungeon master more then anyone else because of these reasons.

[youronlybean]

Saw the D&D post and how you said that our own takes are good to include, so I went to dndbeyond and searched for some fun races and subclasses. I haven't touched D&D books in years, so it'll be a little scuffed

Larry - a Hedge, College of Eloquence Bard, the best flirt in town >:]

Apple - a Strig, Oath of Devotion Paladin, a Gladiator that fights for freedom of other gladiators that still have to fight for some feudal lord

Bonsais - Warforged (folk made of wood and metal), one is a War Domain Cleric, the other is a Battle Smith Artificer, and they are both former Soldiers, tired of war but can't quite able to leave behind fighting skills

Em - a Haregon, Forest Druid, a known neighbour who keeps both the forest and the passerbys safe from each other

What do you think?

Format: Name - [Subrace] Race, Subclass Class, Background + any relevant feats

Larry - Hobgoblin, College of Eloquence Bard, Soldier

Apple - High Elf, School of Divination Wizard, Noble

Bonsai(s) - Warforged, Scout & Thief Rogues, Criminals

Em - Aasimar, Storm Herald Barbarian, Knight

Larry is ABSOLUTELY a college of eloquence bard, though I think he would not be resistant to being charmed as hobgoblins normally would lol. I picked Soldier just for COD, though I think he would have been dishonourably discharged for fraternising with the enemy

Apple had to be a high elf with her posh accent and quite proper manners. I don’t see her fighting as much since she’s not very confrontational, and divination wizard is better as support.

I love the Bonsais as warforged, and I really like the war cleric and battle smith artificer, but I always think of them as very crafty and deceptive. I like the idea of them being a pair of notorious thieves who work in tandem to evade the law.

Em to me is Pasta’s knight. I think she would be assigned to protect her at birth during a magical storm that made her an aasimar. I don’t exactly know why I chose storm herald specifically, I think it was another gut feeling

[eldritch-ace]

Here’s some sketches from my stranger things dnd au from last year(not like anyone’s done that before).

I left some explanations under the cut…

So Steve is a high elf eldritch knight fighter/ paladin. Eddie is a black dragonborn valor bard. Robin is a half gnome illusionist wizard/ bard. Chrissy is a fairy bard. Erica is a half wood elf thief rogue. Dustin is a stout halfling lore bard/ battle smith artificer. Hopper is a half orc path of the warchief barbarian. El is a bloodline of levistus tiefling aberrant mind sorcerer. Max is a fire genasi speedster rogue/ fighter. Lucas is a half wood elf hunter ranger. I also have races and classes (and spells and character sheets) set up for characters not in these drawings too.

I have a lot of ideas of how the world would work. It’s more of a stranger things except it takes place in dnd kind of au. I tried to set up a lot of characters with that in mind. I thought through everything for quite a while and I’m pretty proud of it.

[hawkinsgirlnextdoor]

okay but imagine dming a girls-only dnd campaign with Nancy, Robin, El, Max, and Erica

The D&D scene in Hawkins has always been kind of barren. A boys club if you will. Of course there was always the party and the Hellfire Club but you were always looking for a space where you could feel more comfortable playing with other girls. 

When things become more stable in Hawkins you acquired a solid group of female friends. Nancy and Robin are your age, and while you definitely spend time with the boys, you’ve started to hang out just the three of you. 

El and Max are younger than you but you always enjoy their company. You serve as a kind of older sister figure to the party and the two of them kind of look up to you. 

You’ve only recently started hanging around Erica but you like her a lot and once she gets in to D&D you two start to bond. 

It’s actually Erica’s idea to start the campaign in the first place. 

All of the girls are coming in with different levels of experience. 

Nancy has observed D&D through Mike for a good chunk of her life and has occasionally participated so she knows the basic mechanics and other random facts about the game. 

Robin has never touched a 20 sided die in her life. The people that she’s hung out with before the summer of 85 were never the type to play D&D and she barley knew it existed before the whole Satanic Panic thing started to sweep Hawkins. 

Max has always been a bit put off by D&D. At first it was something that was used to exclude her from the group and once she became friends with the party she would be insecure that she wasn’t as good at it as the boys were. Mike, Dustin, Lucas, and Will had been playing forever and she feels like she doesn’t fit in.

When you pitch the idea to her you assure her that the majority of the participants are starting from square one and there's nothing to be worried about. That persuades her to give it a shot. 

El is just happy to be doing something with other girls. Of course she’s friends with Max but she longs for more female company. She also knows a little about D&D due to how much Mike has tried to explain it to her. 

Once Robin is introduced to D&D and learns the rules she’s super psyched about playing and creating her character. She also rolls her dice really weird (big Ally Beardsley ala Fantasy High energy). 

Robin is obsessed with languages so she quickly tries to learn Elvish and uses it during role play. Her experience in drama also leads her to commit especially hard (sometimes too much lol). 

As for classes and races: Robin plays as a teifling bard, Erica as a half-elf rouge, Max as a tabaxi barbarian (my first instinct was also rouge but Lady Applejack is already a rouge so gahhh), El as a half-elf mage, and Nancy as an elven duel class cleric and fighter.

Nancy is the resident note taker and jots down every detail, stat, and piece of inventory. 

She also probably unravels all of your planning with her great detective work. Like you’ll spend ten hours crafting a mystery that's supposed to be revealed in the very last session and she cracks it by the third.

Erica spends hours hand painting minis for each character. The detail is astounding.

"Did you paint a tiny star in her eye?" "I'm thorough."

El is that player who cannot do basic addition for the life of her (aka me). Max always has her back though.

"I rolled an eighteen. Eighteen plus seven is ....." "Twenty five." "Thank you."

El is also proficient in animal handling and constantly adopts wildly dangerous creatures to be her pets.

You might think that Erica is a head-straight-into-battle kind of player due to the absolute powerhouse that is Lady Applejack but she's actually incredibly tactical. Her and Nancy tend to alternate as party leader.

Max and Robin on the other hand are the kind of players who crave chaos.

You: "The villager seems to know something about the creature that lives in the woods. You can see however that he's apprehensive to answer any of your questions."

Max: "This guy is totally shady." Robin: "Yeah you're right ... we should punch him." Max: "Oh my god you're so right. If I roll a nat 20 can a tooth fly out?"

As a DM you are very attentive to your players. You craft scenarios for each girl to shine and show their growth as a player. You also make little dice boxes and customize. You make their favorite treats and have them in the middle of the table every session.

You notice they all seem to be getting closer and more comfortable with the game which warms your heart.

Sessions are hosted on Friday nights and usually conclude with movies, pizza, and sleeping over someone's house based on the availability of their living room.

Each girl also gets to make her own mixtape to play during sessions. The vibes of which are all over the place. Joan Jett, Pat Benatar, Kate Bush, Tiffany, Blondie. The works.

The environment of the campaign is so comfortable. Yes you're putting their characters through horrible danger and mental gymnastics but its out of love <3.

Your players are amazing. You feel so lucky that you're able to share something you love with the girls in your life and make it your own.

By the time you're nearing the end of your campaign Dustin and Lucas are begging to get in on the action for the next one, only to be disappointed when Robin slams the door in their faces clarifying that this party is "Ladies Only!".

[infernalbarbarian]

@wildskissed — closed starter.

ecstatic. no, that isn’t right. karlach doesn’t think there actually is a word to describe how good she feels, knowing that she’ll be able to touch another person without turning them into burnt charcoal. the idea that maybe, just maybe, her wood elf companion might still be interested in gratifying a desperately touch-starved barbarian was the only notion keeping karlach from completely scrutinizing over the reality that her own infernal engine will soon be the literal death of her. as if perhaps it’s alright that she punches life’s time clock early, as long as she gets to do everything she’s wanted to do before that happens — everything she never got to do living in the hell that is avernus. these tadpoles swimming in their thinkers is a bittersweet blessing, also probably killing them, but what isn’t these days? the little bugger still got her out of avernus, didn’t it?

after a successful day of getting one step closer to figuring out exactly what’s going on with aforementioned tadpoles, you’d think karlach would be in a better mood, especially since she got to hold the prettiest flowers in the woods she’s ever seen without them bursting into flames and crumbling to ash within her gentle grasp. the way they grew so healthy and strong even in the darkness of the cursed lands they trekked. they were unlikely, but they were lovely. they made her think of eve, and so she wanted to give them to her. but those flowers still lie on the ground in those woods, because when she went to give them to the elf, she spotted her offering up her neck to astarion, and it seemed… intimate. she hoped they hadn’t noticed her there, how utterly humiliating that would have been. if you were to ask her, though, she would pretend like it didn’t hurt. in fact, she carried on the rest of their day as though she was still over the moon.

her feelings are unclear, and so very contradicting this evening, now that they are safe back at last night inn. she feels good, because she can touch people — something she’s wanted to do for over a decade. but it came with life-altering, life-halting news, news that she so desperately wants to erase from her mind and just live the rest of whatever time she has left in ignorant bliss. but that’s impossible now, and the more she has to drink in this pub, the more her thoughts race. she isn’t speaking to anyone, sitting alone at the back of the dimly lit room, as people around her are lively and buzzing with chatter. there’s laughter, as everyone relishes in another day of survival from the shadows surrounding them. she wishes she could join them, maybe even find someone else to share an embrace with, but… for some reason, the only person she felt any kind of connection with was eve. and what good is a tender embrace without real feelings behind them? sure, it might still be nice, but… it wouldn’t mean anything. lips press against the rim of her mug filled with wheaty ale, this is probably her eighth one now, it seems she’s lost count. she as brings the cup down, swallowing the alcohol she’s hoping to numb herself with, she’s met with eve across the table from her, and the barbarian is hoping she doesn’t notice how brightly her chest burns at the sight of her, “oh, hey, solider,” she says, forcing a smile — she’s not good at it. the air immediately feels a bit awkward between them, but maybe karlach is the only one who can feel it, “you fancy a pint?” her words a bit woozy, accent a bit thicker, she looks down at the mug within her grasp as she places it back on the table, “good day today, yeah? feel like we made a lotta progress and i can shake people’s hands without cookin’ ‘em,” she forces another chuckle, trying her best to be her usual self. though she can tell she’s failing.

[thedragonagelesbian]

3, 17, & 27 for cyrus pleeeeease!

<333333

3: Race and subclass?

Race: Wood elf

Subclass: It's Complicated

I actually have a full level 20 D&D character sheet for Cyrus that I made back when he was still just a Dragon Age OC. So, when porting him over to Baldur's Gate 3, I decided to keep as much of that build as possible, making Cyrus a base paladin (because being a knight is his Whole Thing) with a barbarian multiclass (because he has a lot of repressed anger and ruthlessness that become more and more evident the more and more the world wears away at his sunshine kindness, and paladin-barbarian is just a very sexy build).

His original subclasses were Oath of Devotion (again, textbook fairytale knight, this is The quintessential stereotypical paladin oath) and Path of Ancestral Guardians (one of the more support-oriented barbarian subclasses and plays with the idea of Kirkwall itself as his guardian spirits).

On the paladin side of things, I just kept him as an Oath of Devotion pally in BG3, although he did end up breaking his oath during Act 2, switching him over to the oathbreaker subclass.

However, BG3 doesn't have the Ancestral Guardians subclass, and the flavor is very specific to the DA2 version, so I decided early on that when he took his third level of barbarian, he'd be Wild Heart instead-- angling for 'bear heart' specifically because it grants immunity to almost all damage while raging, and being unkillable is an important part of Cyrus' whole deal.

And also.

I wanted him to have fire resistance (however conditional) for smooching Karlach.

And as I also had Karlach specced as a Wild Heart barbarian, it occurred to me that Cyrus' multiclassing into her class could be like. a Thing for their relationship. I wrote a little bit about it in my fic for them-- Karlach being the one to train Cyrus in how to be a barbarian, helping him find his rage & be okay with experiencing negative emotions instead of repressing them, giving him his wild heart piercings after the Ketheric boss fight...

(also in this first playthrough, Cyrus ended up romancing Halsin too, which makes the bear's heart thing that much more significant)

But the thing is. I love Cyrus and I love shipping Cyrus, and I knew very early on that I would want to play through the game again to romance at least Astarion and Wyll with him. But. I love narrative-mechanics overlap too much to repeat his paladin-barbarian build for the other runs, because that's His And Karlach's Thing, and he needs a different thing for Astarion and Wyll.

SO.

I have two other BG3 timelines for Cyrus with two other builds.

The first starts off with the same base class of paladin with Oath of Devotion as the subclass. However, after Astarion kills him while feeding from him the first time, Cyrus Comes Back Wrong and spontaneously develops an innate connection to the Shadowfell for uh... reasons that are truly beyond the scope of this already ridiculously long answer. So, in that timeline, Cyrus is an Oath of Devotion Paladin (he will still break his oath at least once when freeing the other vampire spawn, but I imagine this version of Cyrus will want to retake his oath?) with a (modded) Shadow Sorcerer multiclass.

The second involves moving Cyrus' entire timeline around so he's older, more experienced, and more jaded by the time that he gets tadpoled. He swore an oath of devotion to a tyrant who abused him and then he swore an oath of vengeance against them and their reign, and neither made him happy or let him live his life on his own terms as more than just a Title and a set of obligations.

So, this version of Cyrus lost all of his levels of paladin during the couple of decades of self-imposed exile that precede the game. In addition to some stat shuffling around, his base class switched to Ranger for the 'was living all on his own as a hermit in the woods' vibes, and also to keep him as a martial/melee character because that feels the most correct for him.

I only just got this version of Cyrus to level 3-- I specced him into the Hunter subclass originally, but I think I'm going to switch to Gloomstalker instead. There's just something thematically interesting to me about Oathbreaker-Shadow Sorc-Gloomstalker, a lot of Cyrus' character is propelled by the literal, physical internalizations and manifestations of all the bad shit that happens to him, and struggling to make peace with that and even turn those changes to his advantage.

(Also gloomstalker in BG3 gets misty step as an autoprep and I can never turn down a short-range teleport)

17: Do they enjoy life as an adventurer?

Paladin/Barbarian Cyrus: unequivocal yes! Cyrus loves nothing more than to feel useful and of service, and adventuring is the best way he knows how to be helpful.

Paladin/Sorcerer Cyrus: he says yes, but he's been in a state of perpetual existential crisis for the entirety of the game made worse by the fact that he tells himself he needs to swallow all of it down so as not to get in the way of the adventure & helping others

Ranger Cyrus: no lol he really thought he had left this life behind, and he is Too Old For This (spiritually). I think he's really thrown for a loop the first time he sits down to trance, comes to having spontaneously manifested some goodberries in his lap, and realizes he can do magic again for the first time in a couple of decades. He'll do the adventure, and he won't even complain that much, and I think as the game progresses, he'll find more to like about it, but at the moment he's quietly being a real sourpuss about the whole thing.

27: What was their life like before the events of BG3?

Kind of alluded to this in the subclass answers, but in the main timeline (which covers both pally/barb and pally/sorc), Cyrus was having a splendid time as a dashing young adventurer.

Ranger Cyrus was living by himself in a small cottage in some corner of Sword Coast wilderness, cut off from the rest of the world by choice. He was able to fend for and provide for himself just fine but was also much lonelier than he would have admitted to himself. Being around people again is a huge change-- and try as he may to keep some distance between himself and his companions, he just can't resist Wyll's smile.

[whitegoldtower]

Making my official intro post for my Durge: A wood-elf, Circle of Spores Druid-Barbarian named Ungolhir (Goldie for short).

My ideas for him came from playing through Act II with another character (if you know about Thaniel and Oliver, you'll see where I'm going with this). Basically, Ungolhir is the Oliver to Halsin's Thaniel. Halsin is a hawthorn tree, and Ungolhir is a blackthorn tree. Halsin wears light colours, Ungolhir wears dark. Together, they're representative of the balance druids strive for, and just as Ungolhir helps Halsin with his problems, Halsin helps him with his urges. Halsin represents the order of nature and 'life', whereas Ungolhir represents the chaos of nature and 'death', or more accurately 'decay'.

His name is in reference to his wildshape, which is a giant spider. (Ungol coming from Tolkien's Quenya for 'spiderweb'). I wanted to werewolf-build him a little bit, wherein when his urges strike, he loses control over his wildshape (a bit like Halsin, again, only in the other direction - Halsin loses control during a romance scene, whereas Ungolhir loses control when he kills), so the last thing Alfira sees is probably a massive, salivating spider (which then proceeds to partially eat her).

He's on his redemption arc, though. He started off with extremely poor control over his urges (I was basically making him give in to nearly all of them), but Alfira's death is the turning point at which he basically says 'yeah no, fuck this' and starts fighting it.

... And now Astarion has TWO big strong druids to keep him safe and warm.

Also I think it's kind of poetic for Astarion (as a vampire spawn) to be sandwiched between representations of Life and Death (who are also holding hands).

[spacebarbarianweird]

Hey! It's my birthday today and it's been really good but it's been kind of the first birthday I've ever properly celebrated with my chosen family and friends in a long time since a lot of trauma/ab*se, and I really hope it wouldn't be too much to ask (take as long as you need obvs) for some headcanons with a Tav that isn't going to celebrate on their birthday, but Astarion makes it special for them somehow and maybe they agree it's Tav's 'first' birthday 🥹🥹🥹👉👈

I love all your work and eagerly await your posts, they make my day 🥰🥰🥰

Hi! Hope you will like it! Now, Tiriel's birthday is also in autumn!

Birthday Gift

Summary: Tiriel has no idea when her real birthday is and she's never receieved birthday gifts. Astarion finds it outrageous.

Pairing: Astarion x OC (Tiriel)

Tags: fluff, hurt/comfort, post-game, named Tav, established relationship.

Thanks @themadlu for beta-reading!

Read on AO3

Masterlist

Headcanons

TW: a mention of abuse

Tiriel looks around.

Autumn.

Leaves are turning red and yellow, the winds are cold and promise winter. 

It’s beautiful, though the barbarian feels uneasy – the childhood memories. Winters are merciless in such wild places as the Sunset Mountains. Hunger, sickness, death… Sometimes her stepfather, a cruel chieftain, would order to leave certain people outside (too old, too weak) – to let them die and not waste scarce food. 

He would often pull Tiriel outside when the autumn winds were particularly harsh and say: “Look at this, pixie girl, I can just order not to give you any food and you will die like a stray cat. But I am merciful – I told your mother I’d save your pathetic half-blood life!” With these words, he would let her go and Tiriel would run to hide somewhere dark and safe.

She was lucky there were no harsh winters during her childhood. She would be the first to be deprived of food and warmth.

Only half a human. The result of an affair between her mother and an unknown elf. She still wonders why she was spared in the first place. It would have been so easy to murder a newborn girl.

They didn’t.

They kept her.

Maybe it was a superstition that elven children would become evil spirits once they died, or fear that Tiriel’s elven relatives would return. 

Those are questions without answers, Tiriel knows that.

Maybe there was a moment when her mother loved her. Maybe there was a moment when Tiriel’s stepfather really did forgive his wife. 

Tiriel doesn’t have happy memories from her childhood. It’s all too dark and miserable.

And autumns like this remind her of it.

“Hello, darling,” Astarion grins, returning to the road from the woods. His shirt is stained and he licks his lips. 

“What was it?” she asks.

“A boar. Didn’t expect I’d jump on it from the tree.”

Tiriel smiles as she wipes his face from blood and brushes his messy curls. Astarion doesn’t see himself in a mirror and, of all forms of intimacy, he especially cherishes being taken care of. Brushing his hair, cleaning his face, making sure he looks beautiful.  

Two years. Two years of her own happy memories. Where she has a person to talk to, to hold, to love. Astarion is a troubled person, but Tiriel loves him at his worst and at his best.

Astarion rubs her ear, forcing her to giggle.

“Let’s go?” he suggests. “The weather is getting worse, I want to spend the next few days somewhere warm!”

“It’s five miles to Longsaddle if I’ve read the map properly.”

Astarion takes her hand, and Tiriel feels how warm it is thanks to the boar blood. 

“Then we will meet the sunrise in a comfortable bed!” Astarion chuckles. “And in each other’s arms.”

“I doubt they have good beds there, so far from Luskan and other big cities.”

“We have low standards, you and I. As long as there is a blanket and a bed, we are fine, Besides I love using your breasts as my pillow.”

Tiriel bursts into laughter and receives a peck on the cheek.

Unfortunately, it can’t stop bad memories.

… Her siblings asked her to help them with something on a cliff. She followed them, only to be violently beaten by her older brothers. Tiriel even thought for a moment they were going to rape her, but, instead, they pushed her down to certain death.

Tiriel woke up in dirt and blood, with her arm broken in half, shivering and coughing. 

And with a cave bear ready to murder her. 

That’s when Tiriel felt rage for the first time.

It filled her veins with fire. Tiriel barely remembers what happened that night but she knows she killed that bear– and was left with facial scars. Then she came back, limping and bleeding. She thinks she fought someone, maybe one of her brothers or the chieftain and then she ran.

She ran into the mountains woods – no armor, no weapon, only rags and bare feet. 

Then she collapsed on the ground, hurt and scared in the middle of the woods, forever lost.

Tiriel remembers that moment vividly. 

A young girl who had barely hit puberty (because half-elves grow slower) woke up all alone and cried like a child. Then she got up and walked, dying of cold and hunger. 

Two days later she was found by a group of adventurers who sort of adopted her as their party child. An old halfling washed Tiriel’s hair and healed her wounds. A water genasi cooked the girl food and offered the warmest blankets. 

And the tiefling paladin asked Tiriel what her name was.

“My sweet, I thought it was me who tends to wander into dark thoughts,” Astarion squeezes. “Remembering your misfortunate youth again?”

“Yes. Just – similar. To what it was back then. The same autumn when I ran from home. The same autumn when I got my name.”

Tiriel, the little girl told the party. My name is Tiriel.

Astarion does the same thing he always does when he wants to support Tiriel.

He gives her a hug.

“Hush, Tiriel,” he murmurs. “You will never be alone again.”

Triel relaxes. That is her Astarion – a simple hug, a kiss, an embrace, and her nightmares perish.

He pulls away and Tiriel catches his most adorable smile – he doesn’t pretend, doesn’t show off, doesn’t perform. That’s real him.

“I want to kiss you,” he says.

She nods. They don’t have to ask permission to do things with each other. Kisses, hugs, grabbing hands, touching intimate parts – but they still do.

Tiriel asks if she can kiss Astarion.

Astarion states he wants to kiss her.

Simple as that.

Permission and declaration.

Astarion grazes her lips. He is in his predatory mood, when Tiriel just needs to accept whatever is going to be done to her. His strong hands grab her shoulders and tug at her.

Astarion finally breaks the kiss and stares at Tiriel for a few moments.

“I am not going anywhere,” Tiriel murmurs.

“I know, Tiriel. You are mine and I am yours,” Astarion presses his forehead to hers. 

They go down the hill and find themselves on a road that connects scarce towns and settlements far from the Swords Coast. The road is more or less walkable but it soon will be washed out due to rains. Tiriel notices Astarion’s visible disgust.

“Honestly darling, we should have stayed in Baldur’s Gate and lived a life of comfort!” he chuckles.

“You would die of boredom – besides I thought you’d had enough of that place.”

“True, but there are many other comfortable places! Tiriel, you deserve to wear a nice gown made of the best fabrics and sleep in a huge master’s bed where I will ravish you till you beg me to stop.”

Tiriel turns around to see her partner better. “And then I would die of boredom. Astarion look at us – I am a nomad and you were enslaved for so long you deserve to see the world.”

“It doesn’t mean I can’t whine and complain!”

“You can whine and complain all day long, Astarion. Why even bother to be in a relationship, if you can’t do this?”

They bicker and laugh for the next hour until they see a town ahead. Despite it being close to midnight, the town doesn’t sleep and is rather festive.

“What is going on here?” Tiriel asks a passerby as they enter the town. “Some local celebration?”

“It’s our duke’s first son’s birthday,” the woman shrugs. “Not like we care about the spoilt brat but you can’t say ‘no’ to a celebration right?”

The woman disappears in the crowd and Tiriel points at the stalls.

“Astarion, look! So many sweets! Oh, and there are fireworks!”

Astarion looks distant, as if something plagued his mind.

“Love, what is it?” She asks and feels a wave of anxiety. What if it’s too much? Feasts like this used to be his hunting grounds, what if he has a painful flashback?

Two years against two centuries is almost nothing.

“Tirie,l” he finally asks. “When is yours?”

“What?”

“Birthday. I know this is a huge deal for humans and the ones who grew up with them.”

“I don’t know.”

Astarion looks at her with shock.

“You… what?”

“I don’t know when mine is, I was never told. Neither a date nor a month.”

“Oh,” Astarion didn’t expect this answer. “Well, at least you know the year, right?”

“I don’t.”

Astarion raises his index finger as if wanting to point at something, but then he shakes his head in disbelief.

“We have been together for two years and you are telling me now that you don’t… how old you are?!”

Tiriel ponders a bit.

“Well, I know it was 1472 DR when I ran away, I was told by the party who adopted me… and I had had my first blood only two months before that. But I am a half-elf and it took me longer to grow up… So I think I was… fifteen? Maybe, sixteen… Or fourteen? Definitely not sixteen… Because my older brother was sixteen… Damn, I don't really know. Don’t bother.”

“Darling, I can’t not bother with the fact that I don’t know how old you are!”

“You say it as if I was one of those little girls who look older than they are and get their one-night stands in trouble!”

“It’s not that, Tiriel! It’s just… I don’t know… wrong!”

“It probably is.”

“It is wrong.”

“I cannot do anything about that.”

The wave of sadness drags her to the bottom of her dark thoughts.

Beatings.

Insults.

Hatred.

Pain.

All at once, since she was born.

Suddenly, she is a little girl again – a little girl thrown outside in the autumn rain, in the wind, wearing only a nightshirt. Tiriel thinks she hears her stepfather's laughter from behind a thick wooden door as a seven-year-old half-elf who cries and begs him to let her in.

Tiriel stops. Tears prickle her eyes. Her face burns, and an adult half-elven woman who fought gods and demons starts ugly crying like a child. 

She collapses on her knees not caring about the dirt, wailing and sniffing.

“Tiriel!” Astarion drops his sack and kneels beside her. “Did I do… Did I ask… Oh, hells.”

He puts his arms under her shoulders and presses her to himself, lulling and swaying side to side. He murmurs all the words of love and care he is capable of.

“Let’s take you somewhere warm,” he finally says, helping her to get up.

Despite the fest, they manage to find an inn with a free room, a cheap and simple one. Tiriel has to go inside first to invite Astarion, and then he takes everything in his hands again making sure the innkeeper brings warm blankets and prepares a bath. 

“Love,” he says. “Look at me.”

Tiriel tries not to think about how bad she looks right now with her puffy face and snot but obliges.

“That's much better, now let’s take you to the bath”

An hour later, Tiriel submerges herself into the hot water and expects Astarion to join her, but instead he goes straight to the exit.

“Astarion!” she calls him out.

“I will be back soon, just relax while I am away, all right?”

Tiriel hates being alone. Too many dark thoughts, besides, now she feels guilty. Astarion went through hell and she dares to complain?!

Her past isn’t that bad in comparison with his. She has no right to pity herself. 

Time passes slowly, and Tiriel feels restless. What if something happened? What if there was a vampire hunter? Or something else…

When she finally decides to get out of the bath, Tiriel hears familiar footsteps.

“Close your eyes, little love.”

Tiriel obeys and then feels something soft and plush in her arms.

“Open” Astarion places his chin on her shoulder.

A plushie-owlbear.

Soft and cute, it’s a toy appropriate for a little girl to cuddle with. 

A toy she never had.

“Well,” Astarion explains. “Since you don’t know when your birthday is, it can be… today. 17 of Uktar. Happy birthday, love,” he kisses her cheek. “And I suppose we should decide how old you are.”

“Thirty-eight,” Tiriel says, doing mental math. “Let it be thirty-eight”

“Happy thirty-eight birthday, my lovely, darling girl.”

Tiriel feels like crying again. It’s just a toy, a plushie, a thing for a baby. But she was never treated as a child, she was never given toys or dolls. And this gift… is the best she could have received.

“Do you like it?” he asks carefully.

“Yes… I do love it! Thank you! Did you steal it?”

“I won it from the toymaker. Played cards with her.”

Astarion sits on the edge of the bathtub and Tiriel wraps her hands around his waist tugging him into water. He lets out a laugh.

“Darling, you know how long it will take to fully dry?”

“Eternity! And we will spend this eternity in the inn warm and safe,” Tiriel says. “Astarion, please! I don’t want to go back on the road now, so many bad memories!”

He sits in front of her fully in the water. “Ok my sweet, what else do you want for your birthday? Maybe I could return the favor and let you ride me in some place from your traumatic memories? I’ve seen a rather terrible-looking dirt of mud.”

Tiriel thinks for a while and then says. “I don't mind riding you, but maybe in the bedroom?”

“Whatever you say, darling!”

**

It’s sunlight outside, and Astarion feels the tugging feeling in his undead chest. He misses sunlight, that's true. 

Tiriel is asleep in his arms. They actually didn’t make it to the bedroom and had the first round in the bathtub, and now Astarion needs to repair his shirt and find missing buttons from a doublet. 

It causes him anxiety, but he shrugs it away.

He can lose all the buttons and rip all his clothes, and the only reaction he will receive will be Tiriel’s jokes.

Tiriel hugs him from behind, placing her cheek on his mutilated back. The plushie is pressed between their bodies as his warrior-love has decided to sleep with it. 

He actually didn’t expect her to like the toy. Initially, he was panicking and looking for something appropriate for Tiriel. A ring? A bracelet? Maybe a weapon? Maybe just something sweet? 

Everything he was putting his eyes on was off. Jewelry Tiriel would never wear, a weapon she wouldn’t fight with. 

And then he saw the toys. An owlbear plushie for a woman who is always treated like a brave hero. Who didn’t have a proper childhood? 

The first birthday gift for someone who has never had a birthday.

And Tiriel loved it so much she pressed it to her chest the moment they stopped ‘celebrating’. She wanted to give it a proper name, and they spent at least a few minutes discussing their ideas before they settled on Big Eye.

“Tiriel,” Astarion mutters knowing she is asleep and won’t wake up. “I love you. You will never be alone, I promise. I will be with you unless you grow tired of me, and I am sure you won’t. Thank you for … finding me. Saving. Helping.”

Suddenly he feels her wet lips on his scars.

“I will never grow tired of you,” Tiriel promises.

--

Tag list

@tugoslovenka  

@herstxrgirl 

@herdarkestnightelegance  

@vixstarria 

@not-so-lost-after-all  

@marcynomercy  

@theearthsfinalconfession 

@starlight-ipomoea    

@micropoe10 

@astarion-imagine-archive  

@veillsar

@elora-the-slutty-songstress  

@fayeriess  

@lumienyx  

@tallymonster    

@caitlincat-95  

@tragedybunny  

@valeprati  

@lynnlovesthestars   

@marina-and-the-memes  

@waking-eyes   

@ayselluna  

@connorsui  

@asterordinary  

@darkarchangel96  

@locallegume  

@brainfullofhotsauce   

@coffeeanddonutscafe  

@my-queen-rhaenyra-targaryen 

@queenofthespacesquids  

@ednaaa-04  

@dajeong

@wilteddreamsofbaldursgate

[tsurugis]

i wanna write little short things on the side for all my other characters without losing focus on these fuckin novels with the 4 og ones

cause we got, in their original simple dnd forms but I've already talked about them:

fenriel the druid white dragonborn

ozadius the tiefling wizard

atreyu the drow/wood elf warlock

ithiliel the drow/wood elf draconic sorcerer

but i also got:

hadrey the non binary tiefling swamp druid who has a backstory weirdly similar to astarion (without the vampire thing) where he was found as an orphan kid and used to lure murder targets for this guy who he has the big stockholm syndrome with fjjfjf when he got old enough the guy is like you gotta start killing them yourself and he does for a while but then cant take it anymore and shit happens. larian and i had a similar idea for a twist on the charlatan backround haha uwu murder but he's the goofiest sweetest boi and he has a raven familiar named verity

kaitru the sad little absolutely feral goblin barbarian boi who hates and wants to fucking kill all goblins because traumatic revenge tm

suri the teeny feral water genasi girl great old one warlock who was raised by mermaids and like kills for fun while giggling and shit inspired by my old friend savannah jfjdjd who meets hadrey and he sees his old self in her and they becomes friends

barrick the color changing lizardfolk bard who plays feral music and hangs out with kaitru fjfj

mogi the kenku nature cleric who has big religious trauma

and g'loob the grung (fuckin frog people) artificer who sounds like the feral guy from titan ae jsjsjs he loves to cook weird shit for people and make experimental alchemical brews and test them on everyone and he and mogi are in love JSJSJ

[zhemimir]

Introduction to some of my OCs you might see here!

Zhemir (he/him) Druid Mephistopheles Tiefling My second tav and the only one I've finished the game with. Nervous wreck people-pleaser who wasn't raised with other tieflings and was ostracized for being one. Got into academia through ways he isn't proud of, and has lofty dreams of getting a job at Candlekeep. Often seen with @carolmaclaine's Kai, with whom he eventually becomes friends. Astarion-romancer who is a little too into having his blood drained. Short as heck and fan of written smut.

Lissa (she/her) Paladin? Lolth-Sworn Drow My tav from my first run, permanently stuck in Act 2. I had no idea what I was doing in my first playthrough and made some bad rolls that will come back to bite me in Act 3, so I don't know if I'll touch her save file again. Which is a pity, because she's really cute. Mistakes I made included not knowing how to customize any aspects of my character other than appearance and name, so she was a Barbarian for most of Act 1 until I changed it. She was supposed to romance Karlach but I think I fucked that up, but both Gale and Wyll have had romance scenes for her so I might go back to finish one of their romances.

Inke (they/them) Rogue Half-Elf (Wood Elf) My Durge, whose story has only started! It took so much self-control not to make them blue like my other two. They're mostly a rogue so I have an excuse to not have Astarion in my party for once, but it's difficult. Dude's funny. No idea who I'll romance with them yet!

[powerwordeepy]

This has been plaguing my mind for weeks with no end, so I finally wrote it all out with the help of some discord friends. It’s late and I have no idea if this is coherent or not BUT, I present to you:

The Princess Bride characters (but they’re a D&D party)

Westley

Half-wood-elf swashbuckler rogue! Specifically with the pirate background. This one was extremely easy tbh, but it’s still funny that the perfect fit for him was Right ThereTM.

Inigo

Human battlemaster fighter! Another friend also suggested bannaret for the subclass for eloquence and such, but we decided battlemaster better fits his skill/maneuvering abilities :] also, guild artisan background due to his father being a sword maker.

Fezzik

This one was a fun one. Obviously we were thinking some kind of giant race, and originally I had settled on goliath, but also. He’s a sweet guy. he’s gentle. thus: firbolg berserker barbarian! gladiator background because his parents made him fight for money

Buttercup

Now. Listen. This one is going to be a stretch no matter what class I choose because Buttercup has very little agency in the original movie. However, that also gives me the freedom to do whatever I want and I personally believe that she should be allowed to blow shit up with her mind for the enrichment! She deserves nice things like magic powers, so: high elf wild magic sorcerer! as for her background, i was originally thinking noble, but she also was a farm girl most of her life, so i really don’t know lol

i love assigning d&d stuff to characters from non-d&d media. frothing at the mouth. PLEASE send me requests for characters to do this for, I absolutely will as long as I have some familiarity with them. ultimate useless hobby of all time‼️

[adleryoung]

"Oh don't tell them, Roger!" Venatrix protested. "They'll ruin everything! Mac will want to build a temple here, and Al will want to hold his detestable orgies in it." "Al is a bit of a cad, I admit," Barkingthwaite admitted. "And Art will want to write a book about it all," Venatrix continued. "That's not so bad, is it?" Barkingthwaite countered. "It was a book that led us here, after all. And what about Bill?" "Bill's all right," Venatrix declared. "He's a poet." "What are you two talking about?" I demanded. "What's an Orderly Golden Dome?" "The Mystic Order of the Golden Dawn," Barkingthwaite started to explain. "A group of scholars of ancient lore, would-be sorcerors and magicians …" "Come into the circle where we can talk more comfortably," I insisted. "No need to cower in the bushes. On my word as an elf, you won't be harmed and you can leave whenever you wish." "They don't lie, Roger," Venatrix pointed out. "All of the literature agrees on that point."

The two of them emerged from the undergrowth, and I yelped and jumped back when I saw that Pellia Venatrix was a spider! Dreadful long-forgotten memories of Sheila na Gig rose to the surface of my mind! "Really, Your Lordship," Venatrix snorted. "That is uncalled-for." "Bad form, old boy," Barkingthwaite added, with a stern puff of his pipe. "My apologies," I gasped as I willed my heart to stop racing. "Spider-folk are uncommon among the elves, very rare, and once upon a time I had a bad experience with one long ago." "Ah, understandable then," Barkingthwaite puffed. "You must overcome your old-fashioned prejudice," Venatrix scowled. "It's an enlightened age now." "Quite right!" Barkingthwaite declared ethusiastically. "Britannia rules the waves! The sun never sets on the British Empire! Steam power and telegraphs! You can travel anywhere on the globe in six weeks or less, and get the world's news the day after it happened!" "Horses are all but banished from the streets of London," Venatrix stated proudly.

"Seriously?" I retorted. "And you dare call ME prejudiced? In Faerie, horses are free to go wherever they please." "She means feral horses," Barkingthwaite explained. "Mere beasts of burden. You forget, Pellia, my dear, that here in Eire they still use ants." "Barbarians," Venatrix muttered. "Animals should not be enslaved for any reason. That's why we have replaced their labor with mighty steam!" Who taught these lowfolk the Gramarye they would need in order to ride around on clouds of steam? "Where is the Duchess?" I demanded. "Which one, Milord?" Venatrix responded. "We have several." "Duchess Catherine O'Daisies," I elaborated. "A skunk. Very Unseelie. She was in the weapon-making business last I heard of her." "I've no idea," Venatrix shrugged. "Wasn't there an O'Daisies among Napoleon's entourage?" Barkingthwaite mused thoughtfully. "I can't recall offhand, but I'm sure I know nothing about any nobility by that name now." "What about Rebecca?" I continued, deciding that if these lowfolk hadn't heard of the Duchess then she must not be a major threat. "You said she went wild in the woods? And you mentioned Mother Didelphis?" "Ah yes, a quaint little legend," Barkingthwaite chuckled. "Which I have every reason to believe is FACT," Venatrix interjected. "The tale goes that they tamed the notorious Raccoon Monster and formed a Sisterhood in the northern woods." I didn't like the sound of that, but it would all have to wait until I was free from this circle of stones. "Your manner of dress is strange to me," I stated, as a plan began to form in my mind. "Tell me all about the fashions of your modern lowfolk world."

[crowempress]

OOOH Hell yeah! Love to see some thematic fey stuff. Plus there is a TON of scottish/irish/gaelic folklore you can pull from for that.

That sounds fun! What are your PCs like? is there anything planned for them discovering why the gods havent been seen in 300 years?

I love hearing about this kind of stuff. It gives me ideas for my own campaign! <3

The PCs are delightful! We have a wood elf Cleric trying to investigate the rot plauge, a scrappy moon elf barbarian whose decided to come along to experience adventure and help people out, and a mysterious aasimar sorcerer that always wears an owl mask. We also have a bard DMPC named Dove, she's a young firbolg who is a little naive but means the best :]

There definitely is plans, unfortunately I can't talk about it here since I'm followed by 2/3 of my players on here hehe!

Here's one of my fey gods though! This is Lobhadh (Lauv-ah-yeh), the Lord of Rot and Decay (they/it). It is very polite <3

[generalofthenorth]

Continued from here

@fallcnangcis​

"I assure you I'm no Thalmor. No wood elf or double agent for thoes barbarians the Stormcloaks. I'm simply a man who wished to see the man behind the war. The man behind the Empire. I..am Yrdis." Placing a hand on his chest he took a deep breath and spread his arms out towards him. His yellow eyes shift slightly he beheld the halo above his head. It was one thing about lands like this. He's mistaken easily for an elf. Not many could see the halo. Indicating his angelic godhood but it didn't matter.

His smile wide and yet the aura of calming was something that always relaxed mortals around him. But this one was rather hard headed. He adored a challenge." All for an honest fight? Or is this for something more, Tullius? The queen? I'm oh so curious." And he was itching to get that power. That unsettling look. He could have just as easily possessed one of his guards to gain entry but there was no fun in that. So he beheld Tullius with what some might call his true form.

"Day after day. Month after month. Marching against Ulfric and his band of merry men. What if I can tell you..I can take care of ulfric. No fuss. No war. Quick and...needless to say..convince ulfric of a surrender?"

Tullius resisted the urge to step back at the strange and supposed revelation. He doesn’t know what to make of it, but no matter how peculiar the elvish man is, he still breathes a sigh of relief that he’s not a member of the Thalmor. Almost anything or anyone was better than that. “I suppose I should be flattered then that you took the time to meet me.” He doesn’t know what to make of the elvish man’s desire to meet him but it couldn’t hurt to remain polite.

“I fight because I’m loyal to the Empire I serve,” Tullius answers carefully, it’s partially true, but he doesn’t know this Yrdis, and the suspicious General isn’t going to merely blurt out his full motivations simply because someone looks otherworldly and even divine. Magic was a diverse field, and he imagined that there were a plethora of spells that could imitate such an appearance.

He narrowed his eyes in skepticism, he wasn’t the first to offer the General a near-improbable solution to the war, and Tullius had grown used to rebuffing these kinds of offers. But not without hearing them out first. While it seemed too good to be true, and they often were, these offers sometimes led to ideas that could be useful. “Tempting offer, but how would you do that exactly?”

[dwollsadventures]

AD&D Game Idea

A video game idea based on the map crawling, dungeon exploring, treasure hunting aspects of old D&D. The best comparison I can make is probably pikmin, as odd as that sounds. In it, you play as a party of adventurers, playing one at a time and switching at base camp, searching for treasure. You explore a variety of locations and must fight monsters, discover treasure, and bring it back to the home base to sell it off. Unlike pikmin, the focus is on real time combat and movement options that each playable character offers. They'll have different ways of interacting with the environment. Exploring said environment is another gameplay aspect, including climbing trees, crawling in holes, sliding down inclines, wading through shallow water, diving with waterbreathe, and scaling surfaces. Enemies are another focus; rather than acting like typical video game enemies, they'll have movement options similar to the PCs, and attack in patterns consistent with real life animal behavior, and monster behavior extrapolated from that.

Playable Characters

Human Barbarian - tallest, widest, strongest. Has a huge ax capable of cutting enemies in half. Best for melee, but is not as maneuverable.

Human Acrobat - third lightest, third strongest. Able to run the fastest and jump the farthest. She can use a pole to leap and cross gaps or climb with ease up a tree or down a cliff. In combat she uses a dagger and her pole as a staff. Best used as a scout, since she can explore areas efficiently and run away from dangerous encounters.

Dwarf Spelunker - the heaviest and second strongest. Uses tools to secure and manipulate the environment, usually stone. Pickaxe, dynamite, shovel. As a dwarf he can see in the dark and notice marks in stone readily. He also can't swim, just sink.

Gnome Illusionist - shortest and lightest of all the player characters. Uses magic, specifically illusions. While he can't shoot a fireball out of his hand, he can employ tricks and true arcane powers to make it seem like he can. This is especially useful against beasts, who flee quickly at such sights. It takes much less energy and time to learn/do, but casting spells still drains stamina. Four spells can be prepared at one time, though the player can pause to change which spells are prepared.

Wood Elf Ranger - the best at traversing the wild. Uses a bow and spear. Can see better than any other, both in the dark and highlighting animal tracks on the ground. Can climb trees and jump in holes faster than the acrobat but isn't as agile, nor as strong. Is an all-around character for exploration and fighting.

Human Healer - non-playable. She is simply paid to sit at camp and heal injuries that the others incur. If you’re able to shamble your way to camp she’ll heal you back to full health. If petrified, another playable character can bring the statue back so she can revive them.

Treasure

All that is found in the field must be carried back to the home base. Sometimes items are small enough to be put into a character's backpack, which has a Resident Evil-like space limitation. If it won't fit in the bag, characters can carry it in their hands. This means they can only use one-handed weapons if the treasure is small enough, or nothing at all if it's so large that it requires both hands. Some treasures are so heavy that carrying them significantly slows the player down, prevents them from jumping, and causes them to sink in water. And finally, some treasures are simply impossible to carry by hand. In this case, the dwarf is able to pull out a cart from a magic pocket (realized as a bag of holding??) which can be pulled by players wheelbarrow-style. If the wood elf has tamed a horse or wild ass, they can be hitched up to the cart to drag it for the player, who has to direct them back to base camp. These creatures have weight limits, however. Asses can carry more than horses but they have a limit as well. Kelpies have no such limit and can carry back any weight with no slowdown. Taming one is risky business though. Some NPCs will trade for treasures.

Enemies and Creatures 

(A sample of some to get a good idea of what I’m getting at)

Goblins - Small humanoids that live in the wilderness, kicked out of their homelands by hobgoblins and dwarfs. Have low health and defense, enough for a single hit from the barbarian to take them out. Make up for this deficit by using a combination of bows, smokescreen, and poisoning their arrows and daggers. Use guerilla warfare tactics by climbing trees and using camouflaged armor. Most the party will encounter are small bands (3-8) of hunters and scouts looking for game or potential settlement locations. Rarely the aggressors of a conflict. They will engage the party in combat in one of two scenarios: they see a party member carrying a goblin treasure, and thus assume it was stolen or looted, or they see the dwarf. History has made dwarfs enemies of goblins, and they will attack a single dwarf on sight. Goblin settlements are underneath hills and resemble rabbit warrens. They are willing to trade a number of small treasures for food and things they deem valuable, like amber or monster eggs.

Toad, Giant - Found in dry habitats away from sources of water. These bear-sized amphibians are round but have well developed legs to carry themselves after prey. Natural camouflage keeps them hidden among rock piles. Their main attack method is a great leap towards prey, trying to swallow it whole. They will chase slow prey for a while, plodding along until they reach the limits of their territory. During the night they like to wallow in mud and are completely docile. 

Kelpie - A horse-like creature that lures people into deep waters. Specifically this is a trap for the wood elf, who can tame wild horses for a day and allow other characters to ride. The kelpie is always at least 500 feet next to a deep body of water, and always has a white or gray coat. Up close, one can also see the rushes within its mane and the crocodile-like gape of the mouth. If ridden, the player is stuck. Getting dragged under the water is an instant kill. Cold steel can render them harmless. In this case, it will make them as docile as a normal horse, with the added benefit of limitless stamina and being able to run across water. Once dismounted though, it will disappear.

Tekeli Tekeli Bird - Man-sized penguins living in the deep caves of the ice wastes. Almost completely blind, relying on sound to navigate. Heavy footsteps and treasure clanking around in a bag can give a player character away. They communicate to each other with horrible screeches. They do this to coordinate attacks against the player and prey. Will swarm their target and slap with their flippers while biting. Bite delivers a freezing effect that slows the player character's movements and stacks with subsequent bites. Deep within an alien dungeon is a flute that can confuse them and send the birds into a panic.

Chimera - One of the most feared monsters. These creatures are a mix of lion, goat, and serpent, though they are nearly the size of a buffalo. Vigorous hunters that pursue prey even across rough, rocky terrain with their goat hindlegs. The lion front is capable of grappling with its claws and delivering a mortal blow to the skull with its great jaws. It can also spit fire at a short range. The snake tail acts like a scorpion stinger, lashing out and poisoning the player. Chimeras will follow the player across the map, except to basecamp and underground. They can be lured away by the corpse of a large beast, which it will consume for a little while before resuming the hunt. Chimeras are cruel predators that will go out of their way to track players even after losing them underground or across water. Fortunately there is only one per map.