#from my vajayjay

[jhopezwrld]

summers in the air, heavens in your eyes

pairing: jack schlossberg x reader

summary: sex on the beach with your boyfriend jack

wc: 1.3k

warnings: smut!!! oral (f receiving), swearing, p in v sex, kinda public sex (pls do not have sex in public or on the beach u will get sand in ur vajayjay), terrible ending

a/n: WELL... listen i've been in love with jack schlossberg since like 2016 and everyone is finally realizing he's hot as fuck so here we are and i have no regrets. enjoy sinners <3

minors do not interract plz! xoxo

the air was thick and warm, the humidity making your hair stick to the back of your neck. your boyfriend jack lay beside you on his back. his eyes are shut as he basks in the sunlight. there are streaks of white on his cheeks from the sunscreen you slathered on him before he ran out to the ocean, eager to surf. a headband you lent him pushed his dark hair back, and his soft skin was now slightly darker than when you arrived that morning. 

“i can feel you staring at me, y’know.” 

he says, reaching a hand over to pinch your soft thigh. you giggle and playfully smack his arm. “didn’t realize it was weird to stare at my boyfriend.” you retort. he cracks his eyes open and turns his head to look at you. he smiles softly and opens his arms, beckoning you to sit on top of him. you comply, moving so you’re now straddling him. his large hands find home on your hips, his thumbs rubbing circles into the skin there. 

“hi, pretty girl.” he moves a hand to cup your cheek and tugs you down to kiss him. your mouths meet gently, moving in tandem. his tongue prods at the seam of your lips and you open them for him. he explores the inside of your mouth, groaning at your taste. “tastes like strawberry.” he mumbles between kisses.

the hand lying stagnant on your hip moves to the tie holding your bikini bottoms together, twirling the strands between his fingers. you pull away and his head chases you, silently asking for more. “jack, we’re technically in public, anyone could see us like this…” you tell him and he rolls his eyes. jack sits up and you shift down on his lap. he brings his mouth to the shell of your ear, licking it before whispering to you “seems pretty empty to me, baby.”

you look around, doing a sweep of the area to make sure it is truly empty. the beach was mostly private, a secluded location in front of the beach house that jack had rented for the weekend for the both of you. there was no one as far as your eyes could see. technically, you were on private property. if anyone saw you two together, it was practically trespassing. throwing all of your worries away, you lean back into him, connecting your mouths once more. 

he smiles into the kiss, pulling you as close to him as possible. his strong arms wrap around your waist, pulling you directly on top of his arousal. you groan at the feeling and grind your hips further into him. before you can protest, he flips the both of you, lying you on your back. he moves his mouth to your neck, lathering hot and wet kisses and leaving purple blemishes in his wake. he shifts down slightly, pressing kisses into your collarbones and between the valley of your breasts. 

his hands again reach for your bottoms, and jack looks up at you for permission. as soon as you nod, he slides them down your hips and slips them off, throwing them onto your towel. his hand slides up the length of your thigh, stopping at the innermost part. he hums and leans down, pressing a kiss to your pubic bone. “so pretty down here, honey.” he mutters to himself. 

with that, he devours you. his tongue snakes out to caress your clit. one hand holds your hips steady, while the other slithers down to your slit, slipping his middle finger inside of you. the pleasure you feel is burning hot, a fire that begins to burn in the pit of your stomach. a strangled cry wrings its way from your lips as jack adds a second finger. his fingers move earnestly, knowing exactly what you like and how to drag you to your peak. 

“please, jack. it’s so good. i’m so close” you whine, pushing your hips into his warm mouth. he doubles his efforts at that, sucking your clit into his mouth and quickening his fingers. you bring a hand down to his soft hair, pushing his headband off. his dark locks fall into his eyes, but you’re quick to hold them back yourself. he moans into you as you tug at the strands. 

“c’mon, sweet girl. cum for me, lemme taste it.” 

and you do. your orgasm rips through you almost violently. your hips twitch and your moans are unrestrained. his mouth relaxes and instead presses soft kisses against you as you float back to earth. he travels up the length of your body until he reaches your face, kissing your temple, cheek, and the corner of your mouth before kissing your lips. you could taste yourself on his tongue. 

his hips press into you, grinding into your naked body. he brings a hand down to quickly pull off his bottoms, jerking himself off quickly before spreading your legs. aligning himself with your hole, he pushes into you slowly, allowing you time to get used to his impressive girth. it was no secret that jack was extremely well-endowed, and no matter how many times you had sex with him, it was always an adjustment in the beginning. 

he eases into you slowly until his pubic bone is flush with your ass. he pulls back steadily, rocking back into you with restraint. “s’good, baby?” he asks. his accent is thick and his words are slurred slightly as he loses himself in pleasure. you nod, wrapping your arms around his neck. “it’s so good, you’re so big.”

jack speeds up his movements, slamming into you. his breathy moans invade your ears and you can feel him twitching inside of you. he pulls out of you and taps your thigh, signaling you to change positions. he lays on his back as you throw your thighs over his hips, pushing yourself down onto him again. 

he throws his head back, gripping your hips with a bruising force. if you weren’t so fucked out, you’d tell him to ease up so as not to leave finger-shaped bruises in your skin that could be so easily spotted. but the only thing that was on your mind was bringing the both of you to your orgasms, so you got to work. planting your feet, you begin to bounce on him. he thrusts his hips in time with your movements, pushing into the soft spot hidden inside of your walls. 

“god, baby. you’re so good at this. just made for me, huh? perfect little pussy that only i get to fuck.” 

you clench your thighs around his waist as you feel your climax approaching. “yeah, i’m made for you, jack. m’your girl forever.” you gasp. as if he can sense how close you are, he brings a hand up to your clit, rubbing it in quick and tight circles. he pounds his hips furiously in time with your movements. you feel him spasm inside of you, warm spurts of his spend painting your walls. that brings you to your second orgasm, convulsing above him. 

you collapse onto his chest, attempting to catch your breath. he wraps a weak arm around you, breathing heavily into your ear. the two of you come down in silence. as your breathing evens out, he presses a loving kiss on the crown of your head. “you ok, baby?” he whispers into your neck. “tired” you mumble, nestling farther into him. he tightens his hold on you before shifting to sit up, still inside of you. 

“let’s get you inside, sleepy head. we can take a nap together.” 

he lifts you off of him, and you whine at the sudden emptiness you feel. he pulls up his swim trunks and stands, grabbing your towel and wrapping you in it, guiding you back into the house to lay down and enjoy the rest of your peaceful evening together.

[elllisaaa]

Oh god this feels so weird writing LMAOAO but when u put ur hand in front of ur vajayjay during seggs

omgggg I'm literally so fucking dumb I'm so sorry anonie 😭 you're an angel for expliciting this to my slow brain 🙏 (and the thoughts I'm having about this are actually funny so here we go 🤭

HEESEUNG would honestly just blankly stare at your hand for a few seconds, before actually asking you what you were doing. and you better have a good reason because he wants to stare at your pretty cunt swallowing him whole while he's fucking you. he loves to see how much he's stretching you, how wet you get with each thrust. as soon as he's sure you're alright, he's fucking you even harder with a smirk on his face.

"aah, don't hide your pretty pussy from me, baby, i wanna see how greedy you are for my cock."

JAY is such a sweetheart, he would instantly stop thrusting into you and ask you if everything is alright. we love a caring king like him, he's honestly so kind it makes me wanna throw up. he would move your hair away from your face, kiss your forehead and hold your hand. whatever the reason why did that is, he will be soo careful after that, literally making love to you even if he was ruining you seconds before because your comfort is what he's putting first.

"does it feel good princess ? tell me everything you want."

JAKE doesn't notice right away, too focused on the feeling of you clenching around him. but once he sees your hand down there, he kind of panics, like hard. his eyes go wide and his heart starts to beat even faster because of his anxiety. he's immediately all over you, asking you if he hurt you in any way or if you need a break. once he knows what the reason for your behaviour is, he's all for reassuring you and making love to you so passionately it's actually sickening.

"fuck... you feel so good, pretty. i can never get enough of you."

SUNGHOON is hyper-aware of your reactions during sex because he knows that he has a tendency to become too rough sometimes. so he immediately notices when your hand goes down there, and he throws you a questioning look while he slows down his thrusts a little. but the two of you have a safe word, and as long as you don't use it, sunghoon is not stopping. he knows that you can sometimes be self-conscious about you body, so he always makes sure to comfort you, even when he's ruining you.

"no need to hide it, darling, i have your pussy engraved in my mind."

[daisynik7]

This might be a odd request but maybe a nsfw of a shy fem ready that’s insecure about her vagina appearance I feel like the Arby’s girls get no love 👏🏾🥴

cw: established relationship, shy female reader, smut - cunnilingus - minors do not interact!

Author’s Note: Arby's girls! 😭❤️ I’m not open for requests, but I gotta show all my love for the girlies who are insecure about their vajayjays (like me), so here’s a little drabble! I’m imagining this with Nanami of course, but you can imagine this with whoever you want. MDNI divider credit to @/cafekitsune.

His hands glide along your body gracefully, slipping between your plush thighs. It’s not the first time you’ve had sex, though tonight, he’s more voracious than usual, his tongue exploring your mouth greedily, lapping up your spit as his fingers inch closer and closer to your arousal. His warm breath blows on your ear when he purrs, “Can I taste you?”

Your cheeks are blazing, flustered at the idea of him seeing the most intimate part of you. “I haven’t prepared for that,” you admit, embarrassed, avoiding his gaze. It’s a poor excuse to decline his very gracious offer. In all honestly, you’re just not fond of the way you look down there. It’s nothing like what you see on the internet, pristine pussies perfect for the camera. You’re nervous that he’ll be turned off with one look at it.  

His chuckles, scattering delicate kisses along your neck, working his way down your body anyways. “There’s nothing you need to do. Just spread your legs and let me do all the work.”

Those luscious words are too good to refuse. You swallow thickly, hesitant at first to do as he says. But his soft and encouraging smile put you at ease, so you let him pry you apart, licking his lips at the wet spot already leaking through your panties. His hooks a finger at the crotch of your underwear, pulling it down slowly until they’re completely off, eyes wide with lust at the very sight of you. “Beautiful,” he whispers, kissing the inside of your thighs. “You’re absolutely beautiful.”

Your whole body is buzzing, all your worries fading into nothing except pure bliss as he worships you, licking and sucking on your puffy folds while his nose nudges your clit. “My gorgeous girl,” he croons, laying his tongue flat on your bud, stroking it fast until you’re gushing on his face, chin shiny with your slick. He hums, slurping your orgasm hungrily, his thumb massaging gentle circles on your clit. You call out his name, voice trembling and eyes bleary from your high, body twitching from overstimulation. “You don’t have to – ”

He ignores you, diving deeper into your pussy, eager for more. “Such a pretty pussy. I can do this all fucking night.” 

[whumblr]

What if you wrote a scene where zayne is about to go at it (lol) and jays so tired and wrung out he just breaks down in tears? :0

Here we go!

Home is where the hurt is: Part 1

-

Cycle of abuse

Jay barely made out the glint of the knife before he was shoved back and he crashed into the wall.

Pain flared through him; all cuts, every bruise on his back lighting right up, all at the same time, mingling sharp stabs with dull throbs. The cuts seared through his skin, bruises pulsed so deep he swore the blood pressed against bone.

The air forced out of him in a sharp but cutoff yelp of pain. Tears sprang to his eyes. And not just from the pain. He only wanted to rest after a long day. Just wanted to be alone. Not deal with the pain, the aftermath, picking himself back up. He just wanted to stay dow—

He didn't even attempt to clutch at Zayne. Made no effort to keep upright. And before Zayne noticed and could grab him by the shirt or his arms, he slowly slid down the wall. His hands covered his face, the burning tears, and his trembling lips, but he still turned away in shame hoping Zayne wouldn’t see. He couldn’t stop it. Took a deep halting breath hoping to steady himself – didn’t work – and he just sat there on the floor, caught in-between Zayne’s legs and the wall.

His shoes came to a rest against the toes of Zayne’s boots and he folded in on himself, elbows resting on his knees, shoulders shuddering along with his frantic breaths.

"Wait. Are you..." A hand clasped his shoulder and shook him lightly but he swatted it off. "Are you crying?"

"Fuck off," Jay snarled from under his palms.

Zayne, in his awkwardness, lashed out. “Fuck’s sake, don’t be such a vajayjay.” This time he did curl a hand into Jay’s shirt to pull him up. But before he could, Jay sprang to his feet, shoved Zayne aside and shot past him, making his escape to the bathroom.

"Oh, come o--"

The harsh snap of the lock cut him off. And the other lock to the hallway, to ensure his safety and just to make a point. Mainly just to make a point… Zayne had already demonstrated that bathroom locks were useless.

But as Jay backed away slowly, fully prepared and keeping an eye on the lock, there was no pawing at the door, no clacking of the knife, and the lock didn’t slowly turn.

He sank down on the toilet, fully bending over, elbows on his knees, fingers combing through the short strands of hair until they clawed at the back of his head.

Deep breaths, come on, deep breaths.

He hadn’t meant to burst into tears like that. But like most breakdowns, he hadn’t been able to stop it either. The waterworks just turned on, as if the energy that usually was allotted to keeping emotions – and breakdowns – at bay was completely spent. He was drained. Battery completely empty.

And so he let it happen. Let it out. Didn’t try to keep his face straight, his lips from trembling. There was nothing to hide here. Yet he still did so; burying his face into the crook of his elbow, and keeping his sobs to a minimum volume.

It did calm him down. Probably also because his exhaustion level now peaked…

He brushed a sleeve over his cheekbones, wiped the salty splashes from his glasses, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

Zayne, unfortunately, hadn’t left yet, and sat waiting for him on the couch. He looked up, with a somewhat awkward expression.

“Do you want a hug?” he asked, but without much enthusiasm and he didn’t make any moves to get up.

“No,” Jay just said, somewhat indignant, and Zayne shrugged. “Would you want a hug from Emery?”

Zayne actually recoiled lightly at that and threw him a disgusted glance.

“Same thing, really,” Jay said, his time to shrug. Also, Emery would never offer a hug.

“Do not compare me to him.”

“He makes your life miserable, you make my life miserable. It’s the cycle of abuse.” Uncaring for any consequences, Jay just slumped down in his chair and dragged his laptop into his lap.

For a while, they sat in silence. Even though Jay could see Zayne struggling for words, opening his mouth every now and then, sitting up and pointedly glancing at Jay when he thought he’d found the words, but just backed out of it again.

Then he got up, and as he left turned to Jay. “Okay, but if you had to choose… between me or him.”

“I already have you both in my life and there isn’t much to choose.”

“No, idiot. For a hug.”

Ugh. Well, a hug was barely more intimate than being bodily pressed against a wall with a knife to your throat so… “Then you, I guess.”

-

Tag list: @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @burtlederp @castielamigos-whump-side-blog @hurtmebeautifully @rougenoirofthepurpleterror @susiequaz12 @whump-me-all-night-long @rippedjeansandfadeddreams @im-just-here-for-the-whump @restrainthenmaime @freefallingup13 @whatwasmyprevioususername @myfriendcallsmeasickwoman19 @firewheeesky @redstainedsocks @hold-back-on-the-comfort @whumpawink @break-so-beautifully @approach-me-and-ill-cry @painsandconfusion @afabulousmrtake @wormwriting @soopytime @whumpedydump @pickleking8 @itsmyworld98 @whumpifi @painless-and-colourful

[ragingadhd]

losing my shit rn whorace is will/horace?! i think im stupid bc ive been reading ra for little over a year now and i thought it was just a nickname for horace because people thought he loved bouncing on dick and eating vajayjays… im so sorry whorace nation

I cannot even begin to process how insane and hilarious this is. You have no idea what you just did to me. The witch-like cackling you just elicited from me would frighten god. This ask is going to haunt me until the day I die. Someday my grandkids are going to ask me “grandpa, what do you keep muttering to yourself?” and I am going to have to look them in the eyes and recite this word for word. They’ll think I’ve lost it. They’ll send me to a nursing home. I hope that stays on your conscience, anon.

[iluvshinytwink]

Moonlight - Jude Bellingham

"I just wanna get high with my lover. Veo una muñeca cuando miro en el espejo. Kiss, kiss."

Synopsis: Late at night at the dining table there was a bottle of wine, two glasses, and two people.

Now Playing . . . Moonlight by Kali Uchis

RANDOM DISCLAIMERRR!! 😱😱 this has suggestive content so like beware yk, but no pp or vajayjay because idk how that shit works, also this is my first time making suggestive content but moonlight is doing INEXPLAINABLE things to me rn so ima try my best

Jude's team won a vital game for the season and came home happily to celebrate with you.

The door slams open, revealing a smiley Jude. You were in front of the door, ready to give your lovely boyfriend the tightest hug. Jude smiled at you, you squealed before engulfing him in a tight hug. Jude laughs before returning the hug before picking you up from the ground.

"You did so well!" you smiled, pecking Jude's lips. You looked into his eyes, his eyes lit up in excitement and your heartbeat quickened. Jude nears your face, connecting his lips with yours.

Jude pulls away and looks at your face. A blush dusted on your cheeks as a bashful smile was seen on your lips. Jude chuckles, spinning you around in his arms. You let out a shriek before erupting into giggles.

Jude puts you down and quickly makes his way to the kitchen. You follow behind him.

You see Jude fumbling in numerous cabinets before taking something out, a bottle of wine. "Bringing out the fine China are we?" you joked, sitting on a chair. Jude brings out two glasses from another cabinet and makes his way to the table.

Jude sets it on the table as he chuckled. "It's a special occasion." he giggled, sitting down. You took the wine bottle in your hands and began opening it.

"Let's start small." you smiled, pouring a small amount of wine into both of your glasses. Jude reaches for the cap of the wine bottle and tosses it behind him. "You sure, honey?" you chuckled, placing the wine bottle on the table. Jude nods with a smile before taking the glass into his hands.

You take your glass and clink it into his. "To the wonderful victory you achieved today, baby." you looked into his eyes as his lips form another smile. You take the glass and bring it to your lips, sipping the wine.

The night started in bliss, laughter filled the room and your jaws hurt from smiling and laughing continuously. The wine bottom started as full, then as the minutes pass by the wine bottle finally reached the half mark.

Jude clinked your bottle, his eyes grew heavy but the same heart-aching smile stayed on his lips.

"Hey! You put so much wine on my glass!" Jude complained. "You put too much on mine like 3 glasses ago!" you laughed. Your cheeks were bright red from all the wine and you started becoming sleepier by the minute. "You gave me too much wine like.. 2 glasses ago!" Jude fired back. "Fine, I'll drink some of yours." you playfully rolled your eyes, standing up from your seat. Jude laughs.

You make your way to Jude's seat but you noticed that when you stood up a headache immediately pounded your head. When you reach Jude's seat, you felt yourself fumble with your steps resulting in you holding onto Jude's shoulder tightly to maintain balance.

"Babe? You okay?" Jude asked, about to stand up. "So sleepy." you mumbled underneath your bed. With that, Jude stands up. But like you, Jude immediately feels a pang in his head the moment he stood up. Even so, he sweeps you off your feet and you were now in his arms, bridal style.

Your eyes were shut with the comfort of his arms. You felt yourself slowly drifting to sleep.

Jude wanted to go to the bedroom but the headache was making him unable to and so he drops himself with you in his arms on the couch.

You felt your eyes slowly open again. Jude's head rocks back, his eyes also closed. A smile curled your lips.

You started untangling yourself from your boyfriend's arms which made his own eyes open in confusion. A smirk appears on your face as you plant a kiss on his cheek. A smile appears on Jude's clearly hungover and tired face.

"One more." he mumbled to you, almost desperately. And one more you did. This time you planted this kiss on his forehead. "More." he whispered, eyes still closed. This time your lips meet his. And it didn't take long for him to kiss you back.

Jude's hands adjust you, pulling you into him. His hands lay on your waist, Your hands cupped his face. You pull away from Jude, planting more kisses all over his face. Jude laughs. "That tickles, baby." he smiled. Jude's lips finds yours.

Finally, Jude pulls away from you.

"You look so pretty." you commented. Jude's eyes soften, a bashful smile on his face. "You're prettier." he breathed out, pecking your forehead.

I JUST WANNA RIDE GET HIGH IN THE MOONLIGHT 😫😫

Important Note: This will be my last post for my 230 follower special. Thank you again for 230 followers, I love each and every one of you. Don't worry I'll still post on Wednesday, you'll live 🙄🙄

MAKE SURE TO SMASHHH!!!!!!!!! THAT LIKE BUTTON AND SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE BANGERS LIKE DEEZ!! <3333

[goshdangronpa]

For the ask game: Miu Iruma. Naturally.

Hi, friend! Yes, naturally I have some thoughts on this character. Just a few, really.

I'm just gonnaaaaa put this readmore right here

Sexuality Headcanon: I actually like a lot of different reads for Miu's sexuality. She's yet another DR lesbian who needs to be freed from comphet. She's pansexual who'd go for anything that moves. She's asexual and all her sex talk is a clumsy effort at blending in with a society that expects girls to make babies. Take your pick!

Gender Headcanon: Miu is transhumanist and not that attached to her fleshy form. She loves her boobs, but she'd be down with exchanging them for spherical cannons. She brags about having a bombass vajayjay, but she'd totally install a robot dick that shoots lazers.

A ship I have with said character: You already know, I'm irumatsu all the way. Just at a glance, Kaede is a fun foil for Miu: a friendly yet stern prep who dresses conservatively for a rude and goofy punk who casually wears BDSM gear. But Kaede's no meek square for Miu to pick on. She's got dignity, and she'll fight back. Thing is, Miu crumbles easily under the slightest pushback. Kaede understands that, but she'd never use it to get a permanent edge over Miu. Instead, she makes sure to be the one person who actually tries to understand the human being beneath the gorgeous girl genius. And that, in turn, encourages Miu to drop her defensiveness and open up for once in her life. It's really healthy for Miu ... and it'd keep things interesting for Kaede. This dynamic spins in my head like a dynamo. It's dynamite!

A BROTP I have with said character: Maybe you don't always need to have heart-to-hearts with someone. Maybe a relationship can just be two people dissing each other every day forever, and that's enough. Maybe Miu enjoys verbally sparring with Kokichi because he's the one guy who can actually keep up with her (he'd say it's more like she tries to keep up with him). A friendship of dueling wits, two people who spend their free time coming up with clever insults, trading them with each other at school, then ending it by asking, "Same time tomorrow?" In a way, they might need each other ... so they don't terrorize the rest of the world.

A NOTP I have with said character: Eh, I don't really have one? None that I feel too strongly about, anyway.

A random headcanon: Miu has very strong opinions on cartoons intended for small children. The kind of person who vehemently tweets that animation is cinema but only watches franchise movies from big studios. The kind of person who would tell kids they deserve to die for not caring about the original Teen Titans series. The kind of person who's ranked every episode of a show they barely even like ... Dang, I'd watch Miu's YouTube channel.

General Opinion over said character: One of my top three Danganronpa characters. Hell, top two. I love the huge personalities in these games, and few are bigger than the self-proclaimed gorgeous girl genius. Bombastic yet secretly meek, generous yet condescending, socially clueless yet sharp-witted, beautiful yet devoid of rizz, the worst person you'd ever know yet a person I'd like to have a non-alcoholic beverage with. She's awful because she thinks she's the best, and the worst part is that she's right. Miu fuckin rulez.

[delightfulcollectivetyphoon]

Dave with a HUGE degradation kink?? Like eating your vajayjay and just being a complete dick and the aftercare being TOP TIER

omfg this ☝

this turned out WAY longer than i thought it would.

cws: degradation kink obvi, mattress humping, oral sex (f receiving), body worship, mistress kink, bigger reader (not really plus size but y'know, big thighs, stretch marks, fupa, uh chubby i guess would be a good way to put it??), sub!dave (duh), not beta read

He came home from rehearsal exhausted as always. As soon as his boots and jacket were off and in the closet, he flopped down on the bed, groaning and pushing his palms into his eyes. You sat at the kitchen table, working on your laptop.

"Baaaaabe"

Your focus broke. Dave was calling you, but you stayed put. Surely whatever he needed could wait until you had finished this report. A slightly louder yell came from the bedroom, making you roll your eyes and slam your laptop. You sat there for a second, lamenting your work. You were never going to finish your report as long as Dave was in the house. You stood, taking your water bottle with you, navigated the gear that littered the living room, and stepped into your shared bedroom.

"I'm assuming this can't wait?"

He lifted his head, giving you a shit-eating grin.

"Well, hello to you too, sunshine."

"What do you want."

"Ah, nothing, just missed you."

Your face softened, your annoyance ebbing away. You felt bad for snapping at him, even though you knew he was teasing you. You sat down on the bedspread before rolling over to face him.

"Although, a blowjob would be nice too."

"You couldn't let it be. You just couldn't."

"So that's a no?"

"Fuck you Mustaine."

You pushed his shoulder so he rolled onto his back, making him smile.

"Y'know, I'm really not a big fan of the mixed signals, sweetheart."

You got up from your side of the bed and walked over to his side, where you leaned down and whispered just above his ear.

"My game, my rules."

The smile left his face and goosebumps sprang up on his arms.

"Eyes up."

He watched as you removed your shoes, then your socks, taking your time with your pants. You stretched your arms above your head, "accidentally" revealing your fupa, one of his favorite parts of you. He loved that you were bigger, especially because of your thighs. He went batshit when you sat on his face, completely smothering him. In fact, you were the reason he had started experimenting with an asphyxiation kink. He found his hand rising from the bedsheets and resting on his thigh, inching closer and closer to his erection. You caught him out of your peripheral and smacked his hand away, earning you a snarl and a glare. You pulled your shirt off, revealing bare skin; you had decided not to wear a bra today.

Covered only by your panties, you crawled over his legs so you were face to face with him.

"Your turn."

He moved to stand when your hands came down on his chest, forcing him back down. He whimpered as you ran your hands under his shirt, snaking over his stomach and happy trail. Your fingers hooked around his belt loops and pulled down. His hips instinctively lifted, allowing you to pull off his jeans with ease. His shirt was the next to come off, leaving him in his boxers and socks.

"Safeword?"

"Red"

You pulled back and began to run your hands up his legs, watching him squirm. When you reached the bottom elastic bands, your thumbs pulled up on the fabric, letting go and watching his mouth open wider and his hips buck.

"Someone's desperate."

"Please babe, please just touch me."

"Babe? Don't know her. Be more specific."

"Mistress, please," he whined. He did his best to hump the air, stopped by your fingers digging into his thighs. He groaned as you massaged him through the thin fabric, the dark spot at the waistband growing bigger.

"Fuuuck, please I need it so bad."

He sighed as you pulled his boxers off, crumpling them into a ball.

"Open."

He obeyed and you stuffed his boxers into his mouth, laughing at how he was already drooling down his chin. One hand grabbed his glistening shaft and the other drew lazy shapes on his thigh. You started out slow, pumping gently, rubbing your thumb over the head, smearing his precum.

"Aw, look at you, fucked out and you haven't even cum once."

His eyes rolled back, and his hips did their best to fuck your hand. Your nails dug into his thigh, warning him.

"Wasn't an invitation for you to take over. Guess I'll have to be clearer the next time I speak."

He groaned and shivered, arching his back and digging his heels into the mattress. His torso tightened, a sign he was about to cum. You stopped completely, holding the base of his cock to keep him from cumming. He let out a wail and laid flat once again. You reached to take out his gag.

"Please mistress, please let me cum! Fuck I need it so bad!"

"Whining like a bitch won't get you anywhere. If you need it so bad, prove it."

He knew what he had to do. You laid back on the bed, pulling your panties off, spreading your legs. He laid down on his stomach, his face inches away from your dripping cunt. He traced your folds with his pointer finger, gathering your arousal, before bringing it to his lips and licking it off, looking you right in the eye.

"Such a fucking slut for your Mistress aren't you?"

He nodded.

"Words. Or are you to dumb to talk?"

"I'm your slut, Mistress."

"That's better. Now, you've got a lot of convincing to do. Get to it."

His arms circled around your thighs, holding them open so he could access your core.

"Did I say you could touch me?"

"No Mistress."

"Good."

His arms left your thighs, instead settling beside them. He immediately latched onto your clit. Your hands buried themselves in his ginger curls, nearly pulling his hair out. He moaned into your core, lapping up whatever he could get. He hitched up a leg to make it easier to hump the mattress. He couldn't help it, the combination of you pulling his hair and your taste made him desperate for release. His head swam with the pleasure, the pressure in his abdomen and his lack of air made it hard to remain in the moment. You moaned, grinding onto his face, chasing your high.

"Only a whore would-uh, fuck!- know how to eat pussy like that. That what you are? A litlle-ngh-whore?"

He came up for air, throat rasping.

"Yes mistress, I'm your little whore."

Your hands pushed his head back down.

"Uh! Fuuuck, baby. That's my little whore. Lick it all up."

You were so close, so close, when you felt him speed up, using his lips and tongue in unison to suck and lick your clit. Your thighs locked onto his head, shaking. Your screams drowned out his whines, driving him closer to the edge. He licked you through your orgasm before pulling away, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

Your legs were still shaking when you managed to sit up. His voice came out so quivery and desperate you almost felt sorry for him.

"Mistress, please. I need you."

"Of course, you've been such a good little slut for me."

You climbed onto his lap, grabbing his cock with one hand, using the other to balance yourself. You sunk onto him slowly, earning you a moan from Dave.

"This what you want, baby?"

"Yesss," he groaned.

You circled your arms around his head, pulling his head to your chest. You set a slow pace, not wanting to overstimulate him before his first orgasm. Soon, he was moaning into your chest, thrusting up into you as you tried your best to fight off your second orgasm, wanting to cum with him.

"Mistress, please, I need to cum! Please let me cum, please, I'll be your good slut."

"Fuck, yes baby, cum for me. Fill me up with your cum."

With one last whine, he stilled inside you, writhing under you. Your orgasm hit you hard, littering your vision with black and white spots. Your nails dug into his scalp, nearly drawing blood. You climbed off him, collapsing onto your side, him following suit. He was passed out within a minute, clinging to you while he buried your face in his chest, your hand carding through his hair. You too fell asleep after a few minutes, your body exhausted.

When you awoke, it was dark outside. Dave was awake, his arm under you, his head on your stomach. You groaned, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. He turned to look at you wearing that same shit-eating grin.

"Good morning gorgeous."

You smiled before reaching for your water bottle. You took a few sips, then shoved him off you, taking his hand and tugging him toward the bathroom.

"Noooo, why can't we stay in bed?"

"One, you stink. Two, you fucking stink."

"I know you love me. Just say it."

"Fine, I love you, even though you smell like all bodily fluids combined."

"You couldn't let it be. You just couldn't." He laughed, quoting you from earlier. He had to take off running, laughing his ass off before you could wind up your bath towel to smack him.

[tsukimefuku]

Silly story time: tales from a law intern

I just remembered something of my intern days at a Crim Law Firm.

One of the associates had this client who was an ob-gyn, and from what I recall, the lawsuit was about medical malpractice. In order to explain some more technical stuff during trial, this person needed to show the judge how a certain procedure was done using an anatomic female pelvis made of clear acrylic on the outside and had the internal parts colored.

As the intern, I had to carry it with me. Constantly. I now wonder why the hell no one asked the FAMILY to take care of… that? Like WHY. WHY LEAVE THE ACRYLIC VAJAYJAY AT THE MERCY OF AN INTERN.

The thing sat in my car for almost the entirety of the lawsuit. Whenever I had to give someone a lift, I needed to explain why there was an anatomical vajayjay in my car, given I was an intern at a law firm.

I don’t think most ppl believed me tho 😂

I have lived through some pretty random stuff in my time.

[lemurianmaster]

I AM FROTHING FROM MY VAJAYJAY

[heybobbygirl]

More goofy shit that kid from my class named Kenny did (the one that wore the hot moms shirt)

I'm not sure if all of this is 100% Kenny McCormick behavior but itd be fucking funny if it was him so who cares

This one happened around 2nd grade I think? So we were about 6/7. The class was lined up to head to lunch or something, and he was standing behind me. Back then my mom always put my hair up in braids, and I guess he decided he wanted to get a closer look at them or something? So he just grabs them. And I can feel it. Obviously. But apparently he thought I couldn't? So then I turned around and said something along the lines of "hey can you not do that" and he just looked absolutely stunned like "you can feel that 😨😨??" because I guess he just assumed because it isn't directly touching my head I can't feel it. Wouldn't be surprised if he thought girls had psychic powers for a few years after that lmao

2ND STORY!! This was just last year. I had the same bus as him, and I had the luxury of sitting right across from him the afternoon this happened. The seat in front of Kenny not McCormick had 2 girls sitting in it, and they were very loudly and very poorly explaining periods to him. And it was fucking hysterical. One girl had taken the other girl's phone and showed him a photo of a menstrual cup and he was like "THAT JUST FITS UP THERE???" which he seemed weirdly excited about and I didn't look at their phone screen to see what they were showing him this time but they asked him what it was (for some reason) and he said "THATS A PAD GOING ON THE VAJAYJAY" and this whole time the girl that the phone belonged to was like "guys please stop my mom is gonna be really upset when she sees my search history after this" and I felt bad but that also kinda made it funnier 💀

Last one because I realize those are the only funny ones but when we all had our yearbooks signed at the end of the year he decided he was so important that when he signed mine he deserved to get an entire page to himself and so the last page in my yearbook is completely blank except for "KENNY" written in the shittiest, biggest handwriting possible.

[wine4thewin]

Any tips for writing smut/romance? Because yours is delicious!

Thank you ☺️

Well, I’d say it’s a long process of trial and error within finding your voice in writing. I’ve been at it for probably 20-ish years and when I first wrote smut maybe a decade ago…it was soooooo bad 🤣 even to this day I will post something with a scene and feel extremely insecure! I’m like, oh God, was it bad!? 😅

Take all of this with a grain of salt. What I feel strongly about, other people may not feel the same. The writing process is different for everyone.

It also depends on your goal. Just regular p*rny smut or thought-out erotica?

1. Emotional Payoff: I find myself writing giant slow burns more than anything these days. Why? Because I want the cumulation of events to feel impactful to the reader. I don’t even mean “oh, the characters have fallen in love” emotional payoff. Sometimes, they aren’t in love. Sometimes, they are struggling with feelings, with beliefs, with conflicts…and I want the first erotic scene to be impactful to the plot, not just ‘thrown in for the hell of it’. It must add to the story and I want it to be a turning point or realization of sorts for the characters…for better or worse. Can this be done without a slow burn? Yes. But it takes a very precise prose to do it in a short piece.

Essentially, beyond my long-windedness, I am saying the smut should mean something to the story to be emotionally impactful to the reader, even if the act is meaningless to the characters themselves at that time. That is the difference IMO between erotica and flat, emotionless p#rny writing.

More below the cut - 18+ for some scenarios mentioned, but nothing crazy or offensive.

2. Sometimes Less Crude is More Sexy: This depends on your goal. Are you aiming for just how many dirty words you can cram in a paragraph? Seems a bit wild, but sometimes certain words can make a smut scene more impactful. I used to write every single gory detail with blunt, crude words. Did it work? Sure. Was it the sort of writing that made people feel a flutter or emotional response aside from ‘ooo dirty smut’? Maybe not.

Back to emotion. Emotional words can take your smut to the next level. You could say your male character ‘grabbed her thighs and spread them quickly, his huge *insert crude word* hard and ready to stuff her dripping *insert crude word*’.

Or, you could say instead, ‘the calloused tips of his fingers ghosted across her skin, making her shiver with anticipation. The tremble in his touch betrayed his inexperience, even as he moved slowly between her thighs. She could feel that he was eager for her, pressed as he was against her own desire…and she would take all he had to offer and more.

There would be no going back from this.

“Am I what you want?” His voice was an utterance across her lips, gaze dark and questioning. Pupils wide, consuming her.

There was no need to answer aloud. She shifted her hips and took him for herself.’

The above is me setting the stage for the act itself, all while putting in words and sentences that reveal small emotions, details, insecurities, dominance, and desires. Idk, you tell me, I just made that whole scene up on the spot 😂

When you read something that makes you react, remind yourself of the words the writer used that made you feel. Was it because they pulled you into the scene, had you feel with the character you love? Or was it because they said dripping vajayjay twenty times? Different strokes for different folks!

3. Don’t Be Repetitive: Refer to genitalia in different ways, but don’t be obnoxiously flowery like the harlequin novels of old and their “his staff of love quivered in her touch” sorta thing. More like, “his desire was velvet covered steel under her grasp / his firm length” or “she was swollen against his fingertips, ready, glistening with arousal”. You can get away with saying d#ck a few times, but it gets annoying and eye-rolling if it’s every sentence. You can check out this list for ideas!

4. Use Location/Situation to Your Advantage: where are these characters? Semi-public? In private? Are they forbidden being together? Or is their love considered illegal or shameful in your fantasy/sci-fi country? Bring feelings of ‘could we be caught, excitement, the thrill, shame, struggling with own beliefs, reluctance yes, even reluctance’ into the smut to amp up the stakes.

5. Not All Sex is Perfect: hey, we don’t always get it right the first time. I’ve written one character having the time of his life from his POV, only to find out his partner didn’t exactly find him as awe-inspiring 🤣 but, his partner gave him another chance, what a saint jk jk, and the emotional aspect of this previously very selfish character realizing he feels strongly about pleasing someone other than himself for the first time ever was a huge plot point with the smut.

Don’t be afraid of awkward sex, reassuring sex, figuring things out together sex…they can always get it right the next time!

6. If You Write a Kink, Go Deep: size kink, BDSM, A/B/O, etc. if you are going to do it, really commit to it. Don’t mention it vaguely, because if people are looking for that in your smut because you tagged it as such, don’t leave them hanging! I had to study BDSM terms, read blogs of those in the life and their experiences to even come close to writing authentically about it (and I mean stuff beyond generic spanking, such as the risks of edgeplay, knife play, wax play, sensory deprivation, subspace, etc).

Closing thoughts before I ramble you into the abyss from whence you won’t return:

Overall, writing is to have fun! Don’t be hard on yourself, it’s always a learning process. Ask for feedback on your smut, observe what you like about your favorite authors, practice practice practice.

Much of my advice may be considered advanced (or maybe it’s all shit LOL) but I hope some of it helps bring food for thought and helps others on their ever-continuing journey of creative writing!

[joelsmochi]

Aww wait why did that make me feel sad for Joel I feel like he really didn’t wanna do that with Tommy 😭😭😂

(also all I can think about is Joel going from her butt to her vajayjay and yikes never ever do that folks!!!)

joel is just a wee jealous and stingy, trust me he had plenty of funsies!!!! 😂

and yes ppl!!! never switch teams irl without properly cleaning in between changes. in my head they clean up in between takes/positions but i think it’s useless to write about :p

[firelord-frowny]

i'm on my 3rd cycle of using disposable menstrual discs lmao and uhhhhhhhhhhh

HOWWWWWWW DID I MANAGE TO SHOVE TWO OF THOSE THINGS UP THERE AT THE SAME TIME WITHOUT REALIZING IT LMAO JEEEEEEEZ

so, aaaaaallllll day yesterday, i was only getting like an hour or two of use out of one disc before it started to leak! and leak BADLY! Like, i'd hurry to the bathroom and sit on the toilet and it was literally just blood PEEING out of me! in a steady stream! i'm like! what the fuck! i know my flow is grotesquely heavy to begin with, but it's never just POURED out of me like this!

so i reach in and start to pull the disc out, and as soon as i give it a lil tug, more blood just BURSTS out omg! like that shit SPLATTERED all over my hand and splashed into the toilet! it was so fucking bizarre!

anyway, i pull the disc out, rinse it, dispose of it, then go put another one in, obviously.

and then the saaaaaaaame thing kept happening all day!

and then FINALLY i started noticing that it was a little harder to insert them than usual? and harder to get them properly situated once they were inside? and slightly more uncomfortable to insert as well, though there was no discomfort once i got it in. but i was still concerned about the fact that the ~topography~, if you will, of my vajayjay seemed so drastically different than usual! i'm like, wtf is going on here??? do i have a tumor or something??? is something swollen down there? wtf?

and just now, after another rush to the bathroom, when i reached in to pull it out, i felt TWO rims! wtf!

and so my first assumption was that for some reason, the disc hadn't ~opened up~ when i inserted it, which would explain why it was leaking so quickly, but wtf would cause it to not open up, anyway? like, what's in the way???

so i pulled it out, and then sooooomething just told me to stick my finger back in there and see if there was anything else in there, AND THEN I FEEL A WHOLE EXTRA DISC IN THERE omgggg!

i have no recollection of forgetting that i'd already put one in! wtf! lmfao! yikes!

sooo i guess that's another "con" i can add to my short list of things that are not-so-great about disposable menstrual discs lmaoooo. there's no external indicator, like with a tampon, that tells you you already have one in there! so if you forget that you've already put one in, nothing's gonna stop you from shoving another one up there. (although i DID once accidentally put two tampons in lmfao.)

i still prefer discs to tampons and cups at this point, tho!

[seb-owns-these-tatas]

lemme just be noisy rn and bark for my hubbyboo Satoru---I apologize for who I am tonight, I swear to calm down tom (I guess)

Y'ALL JUST SEEN THE JJK S2 SHIBUYA ARC TRAILER---FROM THE MOMENT I'VE SEEN THIS SHOT OF SATORU I'VE EXPECTED THE TYPES OF COMMENTS THAT WERE BOUND TO BE COMMENTED AND ITS NOT HELPING THAT MY VAJAYJAY'S SUDDENLY HURTIN' A WHILE AGO I HAVE NO IDEA IF THAT WAS A CALL---A MATING CALL---*COUGHS* FROM SATORU THAT THE TRAILER JUST DROPPED OR IS IT JUST MY VAJAYJAY ACTING UP ON ME WITH NO REASON AT ALL BUT LOOK! LOOOOOOOOOOOOKKK AT SATORRUUUU GOJOOOOOO AAAAAAAAAAAAA

THIS ANGLE JUST HITS SO HARD IN ME THAT I SWORE I AM NOW PREGNANT---

IM NOT GONNA BE THOROUGHLY VULGAR RN---BUT WHAT THE HECK---MAPPA KNOWS US---PROBABLY VISUALIZES ALL OUR DESIRES FOR THE MAN HIMSELF TOO---

*Kneels cause why not* 🤸

I HAD IT PAUSED AND IM LIKE--- *eyes all turned black* *concentrated on important visuals that left me breathless*

---AND BITING MY OWN FINGERS WITH FLIRTY GIGGLES

heheheheHehHEHEHEHE

Welp this was such a rollercoaster hoooOoornyyy ride---

[silkysnowflakes]

Y/N X Jesus

`He goes down on me Hoping that I would give him what he desires. Little did he know, I dreamt of him touching a helpless bug like a shiny bitch. I really needed to have that kind of feeling for eternity. As I took a fat gulp of his sweat when he gagged on my toes, he growled and snarled at me. I really felt it touch the deepest part of my vajayjay. As he whispered the alphabet in my belly button, I shook in excitement. My teeth chattered against his pubes while he gripped my grippers reassuringly. Suddenly I peed on his keys and he was smirking at the flustered mess I had on tuesday. Then he jumped down onto my uterus aggressively, asserting his dominance. 

”Kitten, don't make daddy horny” He whimpers, making babies out of tissue paper. He liked babies that squirt all over his massive schlong. 

“Go down Jesus, I'm waiting for your babies to stop squirting.” I moaned.

“But I like babies that squirt all over my juicy meat grippers” He grunts as he stomps on the pool floaties i'm currently eating.

Pissing on the bench, I decided that Jesus wasn't meant to be my husbando, but we still have children and Michael Jackson's sexual fantasies. He groped my grippers when I moaned cutely Nya~. I slapped his Testes triumphantly with cockiness. Jesus ate my coochie like an apple, making me tinkle and sprinkle cutely. I really felt violated by his eyelashes. They were so long and thick, just enough to touch my deepest crevice of my ovaries. As he huffed and puffed and cuffed my tatas, making my hairs moist and slick, squishing my eyeballs. Then I farted so cutely. 

“Damn shawty” Jesus said, “I want you to ligma testes” 

He ate my sensitive little fingernail seductively with passion. 

“Ouch,” Jesus exclaimed. “You hot caterpillar. I am penetrated by your kidneys”

I moaned softly in response. In the background, I could hear careless whispers playing as he merges into my scalp. My body is trembling as he's in my scalp and I flick his toes swedely.. “Want a break from the ads?” He whispers in my nostril, unsure if I can continue with his goofy ahh antics. Then we fucked til the witching hour on a sunday church service. He grunted sexily with frustration as he tried to pull shit out of my clit. Then he squirted silly string cutely with pleasure, indefinitely causing a seizure. His long schlong stabbed my liver as he convulsed the holy spirit out of me. Then, Jesus died. It only took three seconds for him to be resurrected. I sighed in annoyance and stabbed him to make sure he wouldn’t resurrect again. Then a bright light shone in my eyes, effectively blinding me. 

“H-HOW!?” I screamed “You’re supposed to be dead!”

“You thought! Nerd.” Jesus said before taking out a belt and beating me with it.

“HARDER” I yelped. I could feel him holding back. Jesus wasn't beating me properly, and it was making me angry.  

edit: YES I know it looks unfinishded but trust me do you REALLY want me to keep going?