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#from it for a moment you know??? he needs a break sometimes!!!
dadbodbuck · 22 hours
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god. from every angle that video call hurts so fucking bad like ok. you are christopher diaz. your dad is doing his best. you know this. it still fucking hurts. your mom died and your dad does stuff that scares you sometimes and one day you came home and for the briefest moment you thought your mom was back again, but it turns out it was your dad chasing ghosts like he always does. and that's his best. that's his very, absolute, utmost best. and you have to live with the fact that he loves you and it's not enough to stop him from doing things that hurt you, even if he doesn't mean to. and every time he calls, it's just a visceral, sick reminder of what he did. you can't stop looking at your dad's face and remembering that fleeting, childish hope. and all that's left over after you're done being hurt is the anger.
or you're eddie diaz, and your son is still pulling away. it's been three months and you can't stop scrambling desperately for something, anything you can say to make him come back. you put up streamers. you invite over your friends. you get party hats and noise makers and you pray that this time it'll be enough. this will be enough love and care. you love him so much. you love him so much and it's not enough. your mom doesn't even let you watch the whole happy birthday song.
or you're buck, and you love this kid too. and it's almost like everyone forgot. they forgot that you pulled him out of a tsunami. they forgot that you'll be his guardian if your best friend in the whole world dies. but you're not the one who lost a kid, that's your best friend. you need to be there to hold him together while he's falling apart. and you get this chance to surprise this kid you love while doing something for your best friend, and he doesn't even notice. this kid, who isn't your kid, but you love anyway, and haven't seen in months, doesn't even acknowledge you. and you have to watch your best friend break in half again, and there's nothing you can do about it.
or, frankly, you're tommy kinard. and you're in this new relationship with a beautiful, sweet, thoughtful man. and maybe he's a little close with his best friend, but that's fine, because you like his best friend too. in fact, his best friend is quickly becoming a close friend of yours. and you don't talk much about your past, your family, how utterly fucking lonely you were before this ball of sunshine and his goofy codependent bestie fell into your lap. but they know it wasn't great, and that your dad was kind of a piece of shit. but your new friend, and your newer boyfriend, they love this kid more than your dad could have ever loved you. they put up streamers. they invite you to surprise him because he thinks you're cool. they give you a party hat and your boyfriend is smiling all hopeful and giddy. you never remember your dad being this happy to see you. and all they get is a blank face and a cut signal. they don't even get to sing him happy birthday.
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furuu · 3 days
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i need something abt dad girl kuna 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i love hjm sm i need him hes my husband 🥺
𐔌 . ⋮ Sukuna’s love for his daughter runs deeper than he’d ever admit, and a large part of that comes from the fact that she’s a piece of you—the woman he claimed as his own, his wife, the one who tamed the beast within him.
When he looks at her, with her bright eyes and mischievous grin, it reminds him so much of you. She’s a perfect blend of both of you—his strength, your gentleness. It’s a constant, undeniable reminder of the life you’ve created together, a bond that no one can break.
Sometimes, when she’s asleep, nestled in her blankets, Sukuna will sit beside her bed, just watching the rise and fall of her tiny chest. He sees you in every little thing she does—the way she tilts her head when she’s curious, the way she laughs, how she seeks out his affection, much like you did when you first met him. There’s an unspoken pride in his eyes every time he looks at her, knowing she’s the embodiment of the love between the two of you.
He’s never been one for soft words, but with you—his wife—he doesn’t need them. You know how much he cares, how fiercely he loves, even if it’s hidden behind his rough exterior. He watches the two of you together, and something inside him shifts. You, the woman who brought light into his dark world, and the daughter you gave him—both of you are the center of his universe.
Sukuna loves her fiercely because she’s not just his daughter—she’s yours. A living, breathing piece of the woman he cherishes. And every time he holds her, there’s this quiet, unspoken reverence, like he’s holding a piece of you in his arms. His daughter is the only thing in this world that has softened him, and it's because she carries your warmth, your love, and your spirit inside her.
“She’s just like you,” he’ll say quietly when you catch him watching her with that rare, tender gaze. And in those moments, despite the monstrous power he holds, you know Sukuna’s heart is completely and utterly yours, and hers .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱
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toruskiii · 20 hours
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The Kiss Economy!
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Synopsis: What's a more charming way to trade things than using kisses as currency? Genre: Fluff Character: Veritas Ratio x Gn!reader Warnings: Smooches, established relationship, both you and Ratio are teachers! Maybe a little ooc [masterlist] [about me]
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Ratio sighed, running a hand through his hair as he paced the halls of the space station. Sometimes, he simply couldn't stand the reckless fools who were his students. It hadn't even been half a day, yet there was already so much to do— or more precisely, so much to clean up.
His classes ranged from young, aspiring teens to adults, who, in his mind, should be capable enough to handle equipment properly and behave responsibly in his absence.
But no.
The moment he stepped into the laboratory, his eyes fell upon a scene of chaos. Panicked students darted about, glass shards littered the floor, and expensive apparatus lay broken in the sink. Imbeciles, he thought with a mix of frustration and disappointment. Why did they always have to prove him wrong about their competence?
Now, he found himself troubled with seeking out you— another teacher who happened to be his dear beloved. He wasn't one to shy away from ranting about the incompetence of his students in private, often grumbling about how he wished his students were more like yours. After all, you never seemed to complain much about your own classes.
His perspective shifted, however, when he knocked on the door of your class and swung it open, only to be greeted by an expression of dread on your face—an expression he found somewhat amusing.
"Hm? You look distressed. Care to explain?" he pointed out, observing as you hunched over the lab sink, your expression deadpan as you glanced back at him.
"Veritas," you whined, facepalming yourself with a groan. "One of my students accidentally disposed of the platinum black powder while clearing out the empty containers." You could feel his stare, his raised eyebrow silently questioning how your students could mess up this badly.
"I think Herta is going to kill me when I report this to her," you added with a fake sob, walking over to him and tugging on his shirt for comfort. He let out a huff, shaking his head and ruffling your hair in a gesture of reassurance. "Just report it to Asta, she'll help you deal with it."
"Do you know how much that powder costs?!"
"Of course I do. But do you think this will make a dent in any of their accounts?"
"...Ah."
You let out a pout, smoothing your hair before directing a confused gaze at him. "Anyways, why did you come to look for me?" you questioned, genuinely curious. It was a rare occurrence for him to seek you out during work hours; he usually adhered strictly to his schedule and dismissed any potential distractions. A mischievous grin spread across your face as you continued, crossing your arms playfully. "Orrrr…did you miss me? Hmmm?"
He scoffed, flicking your forehead lightly as you yelped in surprise. "Don't be foolish," he retorted, but there was a faint hint of amusement in his eyes. "I came to ask if I could borrow some equipment from your lab."
"Equipment? Why? Don't you have everything you need already?" you asked, rubbing your forehead in mild exasperation as you watched him rummage through the cabinets in your classroom. "Those idiots managed to break almost half of everything in the lab, including several crucial apparatuses," Ratio grunted, rubbing his temple in frustration. You couldn't help but silently pray for his students, who would soon face his wrath upon his return to the lab.
Shrugging, you gave him a nod of confirmation to rummage through your cabinets for whatever he needed. "Yeah, go ahead. My class won't really be needing anything today anyways."
As he finished grabbing the necessary items, he paused when he felt another tug at his shirt. Turning around, he looked at you with a puzzled expression, noting the mischievous glint in your eyes— he knew that look all too well. "What is it?" he inquired cautiously.
You grinned cheekily at him, chuckling softly. "Just because I'm allowing you to borrow my stuff, doesn't mean I'm giving it to you for free."
He frowned, genuinely puzzled as to what you could possibly want in return. If you were anyone else, he might have already told you off and demanded you keep your hands to yourself. But you were his dear significant other, so he decided to play along. "Do tell me what it is that you want."
You hummed thoughtfully, continuing to fiddle with the purple fabric draped over his shoulder. "Hmm… I don't know. Why don't you take a guess?" you teased, a playful glint in your eyes. "It's something you forgot this morning," you added cryptically.
He stared at you with an unreadable expression, his mind working to decipher your words. "Something I forgot?" he muttered to himself, setting the basket of apparatus onto the table before narrowing his eyes at you. "I'd appreciate it if you'd get straight to the point, my dear," he said, a hint of impatience creeping into his tone.
With a sigh, you raised a finger and tapped it against your pouty lips, gazing at him with a mock frown.
Ratio paused, his mind working through the puzzle until the realization finally dawned on him. Ah, so that's what you were huffing about.
How childish.
"You want a kiss? Is that it?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, half-amused and half-exasperated.
When you finally nodded with a triumphant smirk, Ratio felt his shoulders relax, shaking his head in quiet amusement. The corner of his lips twitched as if fighting the urge to curl into a smirk at your foolishness. "You're so childish, my love," he murmured, his voice soft but teasing.
He leaned in closer, his arms slipping around your waist, pulling you gently toward him. His other hand came up, fingers brushing your chin as he tipped your face upward.
You couldn’t help but smile giddily, heart fluttering in anticipation. And then, with a warmth that melted every teasing remark, his lips met yours in a soft, lingering kiss. It was gentle, affectionate— everything you had wanted.
He pulled away, a soft blush dusting his cheeks and the tips of his ears, though he tried to maintain his composure. His thumb brushed teasingly against your bottom lip, causing you to meet his gaze with playful mischief in your eyes.
"That's it?"
He blinked, confusion flickering in his expression. "What do you mean 'that's it'?" he scoffed, gently pinching your cheeks in mild exasperation. "I gave you what you wanted— what else is there?"
You pouted dramatically, crossing your arms. "You took so many of my apparatus and other equipment. You think one kiss is gonna be enough? Scam!"
Ratio’s eyes widened for a moment before he let out a low chuckle, realizing you weren’t going to let him off the hook so easily. "A scam, you say?" He leaned in close again, a smirk tugging at his lips as his fingers traced your waist. "Alright, what will it take to settle this 'debt' of mine?"
You pretended to ponder, your eyes tracing over the familiar contours of his face. "Hmm… your total will beee…"
"Ten kisses," you declared proudly, flashing a playful grin. "And that’s with a discount!"
He rolled his eyes, letting out a barely audible groan. "You minx," he grumbled, though the way his fingers squeezed your waist and the softness in his eyes betrayed his affection. "Fine then, I won’t bargain any further."
With a defeated sigh, he leaned in and began peppering kisses across your face; nine quick ones, each accompanied by a light laugh from you. He saved the last one for your lips, pressing against you gently but with a familiar warmth that fit like the final piece of a puzzle.
Just when you thought it was over, he decided to push it a little further, keeping his lips locked with yours for longer this time. The kiss lingered, deep and slow, until you playfully smacked his shoulders with a soft whine. He finally pulled away, chuckling at the flushed look on your face, only to sneak in one last kiss— an eleventh.
You blinked in surprise, staring at him in mock disbelief as he casually turned back to pick up the basket of equipment. "Wha— that was eleven kisses!" you protested, though you weren’t exactly complaining.
He shrugged casually, walking out the door with a final glance over his shoulder. "Keep the change, sweetheart."
Before you could protest with a panicked look, he was already gone.
---
Ratio returned to his class a few minutes later than he'd intended, the usual sharpness in his stride slightly softened. As he entered, he noticed his students staring at him. Some with wide-eyed confusion, others with flushed cheeks, and more than a few giggling quietly amongst themselves.
Frowning, he set the borrowed equipment down on the table, neatly arranging it as he always did. "If there's something you'd like to ask, do speak. It is rude to stare," he said curtly, glancing up at them with his usual sternness.
There was an awkward pause before one of the braver students spoke up, trying to stifle a grin.
"Uh, Sir Ratio…there's lipstick on your lips."
His hand froze mid-motion, eyes widening slightly in realization. The clatter of glass breaking followed as two of the newly borrowed apparatus slid from his grasp and shattered on the floor.
The room fell silent.
He shuffled awkwardly, bending down to collect the shards of broken glass, his face a deep shade of red. Raising a hand to cover his mouth, he muttered curses under his breath, embarrassed by the situation. Clearing his throat, he tried to regain some semblance of composure. "Ahem— I apologize. Please continue with your reports while I clean this up."
Now he was 10 kisses in debt.
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gilded-sunrays · 1 day
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Pregnant | Yoriichi
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| Type: Fluff 💞 | Warnings: Labour/Pregnancy | WC: 1k |
𖤐ˎˊ˗Masterlist
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̗̀➛The news of your pregnancy wouldn't surprise Yoriichi at all, knowing the exact moment you got pregnant thanks to the transparent world.
̗̀➛ However, when you shared the announcement, a wave of emotion surged within him. As you revealed your pregnancy, Yoriichi would smile warmly at you, offering his heartfelt congratulations. The once stoic husband you knew would become visibly emotional, suddenly embracing you in his arms.  
̗̀➛ You really meant a lot to him, and he deeply loved you. It was difficult to let go of Uta, letting go of his past life, and it took a long time for him to open up and love again.
̗̀➛ Yoriichi's love for you was profound, and he was grateful for you to even be here with him, as you had given him another chance at building a new family. And he swore to protect and cherish both you and your child with every fibre of his being. 
̗̀➛ With tears in his eyes, your husband would tenderly wrap his arms around you in a comforting embrace, resting his head on your shoulder as he made a solemn promise— 
"I promise, Y/n.. I will protect you and our baby with every cell of my being.. regardless of the sacrifices required.."  
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̗̀➛ Yoriichi was a devoted husband, and since the news of your pregnancy, his affection and protectiveness towards you had noticeably grown. Yoriichi had already gone through a pregnancy before, so he was already aware of your needs and wants and the whole process of it.
̗̀➛ And thanks to the transparent world on top of it, he could tell the things your body was going through. So in a way, he was already aware of the problems you were facing without you needing to say a single word. 
̗̀➛ Yet, despite all that.. Yoriichi would still visit Sumiyoshi frequently. He'd talk to him, seeking advice from both him and Suyako, and he always brought along various items for you. Sometimes, Yoriichi would even bring over recipes from the Kamado family that were apparently good for pregnancy, and he would encourage you to give them a try.
-Most of them were admittedly quite tasty, but there was one in particular— 
̗̀➛ You honestly couldn't quite tell if Yoriichi had made it himself or where he had found it, but he once handed you a glass of raw spinach juice, claiming it was excellent for the baby. You took a sip, and it almost made you gag. 
"Oh my god, Yoriichi! What is this!?" 
"You should drink it, my dear... it is good for you."
"Absolutely not!!"  
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̗̀➛ As time went on and your pregnancy progressed, managing household tasks became increasingly challenging. During this time, Yoriichi would encourage you to take a break and would take care of all the chores himself. If you resisted, he would gently lift you and set you down on the futon to ensure you could rest. 
̗̀➛ He didn't seem to mind at all, although it was undeniably pretty strange and somewhat unsettling to witness him perform tasks with such rapidity. Preparing meals, tidying up the house, and washing the dishes collectively took less than ten minutes.. Although you did your best to assist him, he would have already completed everything. 
̗̀➛ However, there were times when it all felt like too much. Along with the physical changes, you also faced significant mood swings, often feeling down. Sometimes, even the simplest task, like getting up to take a bath, felt like a daunting task.   
̗̀➛ Yoriichi was an understanding man though, and in case any issues came up, he would be right there to assist you, even taking the time to give you baths himself--
̗̀➛ He would ensure the water temperature was perfect, standing behind you to maintain your comfort. He'd be slow as he'd massage your scalp and wash your lovely h/c hair thoroughly, pouring the warm water slowly on your scalp, making sure to avoid your eyes. He'd then slowly move down as he'd wash your body gently and slowly. Yoriichi was mindful of your comfort and made a conscious effort to avoid sensitive areas.   
̗̀➛ Your husband was deeply caring towards you. Yet at times, it left you feeling somewhat uneasy; sometimes it felt as though you were placing too much weight on his shoulders.
̗̀➛ But when you'd bring up your concerns to him, he would just look at you with gentle and slightly melancholic eyes as he'd speak to you in his most gentle voice. 
"Y/n.." 
̗̀➛ He'd slowly remove a strand of your hair from your face, tenderly cradling your cheek with his weathered and calloused hand.   
"I do not view you as a burden. I am grateful to have a wonderful woman like you as my wife. You have given me another chance in life. I would never think of you, and neither our child, as a burden-- but as treasures to be cherished.." 
̗̀➛ He'd then gently wrap you in his strong arms, letting your head rest on his broad chest, embracing you in his warmth. 
"I love you.. y/n.." 
"Regardless of what may come.. I will always stand by your side.."  
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̗̀➛ Yoriichi had already departed early in the morning to fetch a midwife during labor. Remarkably, he returned in less than an hour with one. 
̗̀➛ Throughout the birthing process, Yoriichi maintained his usual calm demeanor, though internally he felt quite anxious. 
̗̀➛ Regardless of whether you wanted his presence during the birth or not, he would respect your wishes and adhere to them.
̗̀➛ If you wish for him to be with you, he would be there to comfort you and hold your hand. He would tenderly pat and caress your head, trying his best to help you through the pain. Even though he appeared calm on the outside, it hurt him deeply to see you suffering like this.  
̗̀➛ On the other hand, if you prefer him to stay away, he would be anxiously pacing outside your home, wishing for your well-being.   
̗̀➛Thankfully, the birth went smoothly, and the baby was born. Shortly thereafter, he embraced you and your child tenderly, his eyes brimming with tears..  
"Thank you.. y/n.."    
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captain-joongz · 2 days
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Thinking about free use husband!Joshua…
Coming home to him and wrapping your arms around him from behind while he is cooking .. kissing his neck and shoulders and teasing him until he gets hard
Making him keep cooking while you start to touch him cruelly, praising and degrading him in the same breath
And he loves it, letting you do whatever you want to him, making him submit, even though he would do it willingly, this way makes his body shake, until he has to turn off everything and stop before he collapses on the floor…
Maybe this doesn’t make any sense, maybe it does, I cant really tell im too tired 😭
- ✨
(Btw you’re gonna get that job!!)
so sorry for the delay darling, i ended up taking a little break for dinner and a shower, but now i'm back and more ready than ever to tackle this delicious scenario~
and thank you for the encouragement! i honestly don't know how to feel about the interview today, but hopefully it didn't go completely awfully haha! i have another one tomorrow afternoon, so there's more awaiting ! but that one is for an english teacher, which i think should be perfect for me <3
here's your delicious little story ✨anon <3 and as always, hard hours continue and will continue for another week !!
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warnings: cursing, marking, subby Shua, handjob, cumming in pants
ooooh now, Joshua is a little bit of a wild card, isn't he? i feel that he has a strong and easy-going enough personality that people would assume he'd like to naturally lead, but also there's this air of gentleness and prettiness about him that just screams "i'll let someone take care of me", not to mention that he's a sassy little bastard
so maybe he would sometimes brat out a little, have some cheeky remarks, but deep down he just loved submitting to you, especially when you came home all fired up from a long hard day at work. oh he'd know that you'd need to get your hands on him and unwind with the fierce aura of exhaustion and frustration enveloping you
he'd at least hoped he'd be able to finish the dinner he was preparing for the two of you, but then you were in the kitchen, wrapping your hands around him in a back-hug, smushing your face into his shoulder
"hard day?"
"oh god, you don't even know. janet from accounting is being a cunt again, it's crazy."
for a few moments the chatter between you flowed without interruption, you hanging off of him and loudly complaining about a coworker that's been making your life ten thousand times harder, and he'd started to relax and focused back onto cooking
but that's what you were waiting for
the second you could feel him untense in your hold, your hands started to wander. at first only slowly caressing his sides or across his tummy, touches that could easily be read as comfort, but then your hand strayed a little too up and pressed up on his nipple just as you pressed an open-mouthed kiss to his neck, both feeling and hearing his breath hitch under you
"baby..." he'd say breathlessly, trying to reprimand you but his body would already be heating up with the promises it came to understand from your hands
you wouldn't stop, for anything, busying yourself by leaving hot laving kisses to his neck and behind his ear, one hand carefully massaging his scalp and tugging at his hair while the other one slyly made its way under his t-shirt to tease his nipple without the barrier of clothing
you'd love the feeling of him tensing under you, his body going all high-strung when you'd press down on the stiff little peak and push it around with your lazy fingers, breaths leaving him in huffs and sighs every time you'd tug his hair a little harder
he'd still try to pretend to be fully focused on cooking, but it would all grow hazy in front of his eyes, his lids threatening to fall shut with every electrifying rush of lust and pleasure from your ministrations, and soon he'd start messing up - clumsy hands dropping the spoon, crushing the ingredients in his palms on every hard bite you distributed to his neck, and you'd chuckle at his plight
"what is it, baby? aren't you a little clumsy tonight?"
he'd huff at your words but say nothing, stubbornly trying to ignore you and your games - and that would only stoke your fire and provoke you into upping the ante
now sticking your both your hands under his clothes, one migrating to give attention to the other nipple while the second naughty hand travelled south until you were cupping his half-hard cock and punching a moan out of him
"Shua, baby, you're not paying attention to the food at all, i'm so disappointed. i was looking forward to your cooking all day, but you can't focus long enough to not burn it..."
"don't be so mean" he'd whine and you'd tsk at him
"is that any way to talk to me?" gripping him harder, you'd love the way he'd groan under you, hands abandoning the utensils to grip at the counter, but you'd quickly grab them and push them back to the pot
"go on, baby, cook for me if you want my praises"
and Joshua would give it a valiant try, he really would, stirring the food in little aborted motions while you rolled his nipples between your fingers and kissed at the bitten and marked skin of his neck, hand massaging and squeezing the growing bulge in his pants, and the kitchen would be full of the sounds of hissing cooking food and his little sighs and breathless moans
but he'd know it's game over town the moment your hand slipped into his pants and gripped his cock. the skin on skin contact was almost enough to send him crashing to the ground, knees buckling and knocking into each other with the surge of pleasure. and yeah, he definitely didn't even see what he was doing anymore, head tipped back and whines spilling out with every slow measured stroke on his cock
you'd see his hands shaking on the utensils, you'd see how he'd start losing focus, not moving them anymore, instead jerking his hips in tiny little circles to fuck into your hand - and of course you'd still him and tell him he needed to do better - and of course he'd moan at that, his cock jumping in excitement
"i c-can't, fuck, wanna cum please-" you'd recognise the tell tale signs he was close, the way he'd squeeze his eyes shut while his mouth fell open, the way his whines got more and more high-pitched and his hips shook as he supressed the need to pump them into the tightness of your fist
"go on, baby, you've been such a good boy for me"
and that would be all it took for him to frantically start turning the stove off, barely managing to catch onto the counter before the combined stimulation of you biting his ear and squeezing the tip of his throbbing cock sent him over the edge and he came in his pants, shaking in your arms with soft cries
Shua would turn to jelly in your embrace, barely even holding up on his own two feet while the half-cooked food cooled down on the stove, but it would be hard to pay attention to anything else except for his body thrumming with the release and the gentle kisses and praises you whispered into his lips for listening to you so well
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divider by @cafekitsune
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iguessitsjustme · 11 hours
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I don't think Diew is getting enough credit for how good of a communicator he has been this entire show. I know God is upset right now because he thinks Diew is just going along with him and isn't saying when he doesn't want to do something, but we have been shown time and time again that Diew does not do things that he does not want to do.
From the very beginning, Diew has had no problem establishing firm boundaries. It's the main reason that we all call God a giant green flag. Because some of Diew's boundaries could have been ignored and called ridiculous, but they never were. God went out of his way to make sure he did not see Diew face to face because he knew Diew was not ready for that. And he knew Diew was not ready for that because Diew had clearly communicated and established his comfort level.
We even see it outside of their relationship when Diew tells Jane no. Even after being pressured by her. Even after she bullies him. He tells her no. He also tells her that he does not view friendship the same way she does and he's perfectly happy with the few close friends he has.
Diew and God had a wonderful conversation last episode when God was making Diew uncomfortable with how he was treating him while on their vacation. Diew waited until an appropriate moment when they were alone to bring it up and God sat and listened. Even if he felt a little defensive because no one wants to be the reason their loved one is uncomfortable, he listened, he apologized and he fixed it.
Which is why it was so painful to see Diew incapable of communicating to God when it came to Dr. Pee. We all watched those flashbacks and know how poorly Diew was treated by that man. But I think the most telling thing for how badly it affected Diew and how much he still struggles with it is that he did not tell God. Not because he didn't want to, but because that hurt is still so deep that he could not.
God has every right to be upset. Not only does he have Pee telling him falsehoods about Diew and how Diew just goes along with whatever which tugs and one of God's insecurities, but God also does know that Diew lied about how Pee was to him. That one little lie that Pee was just a senior opened the door for God to believe what Pee told him. Despite all of the communication that those two have had, one little worm of doubt found it's way into God's brain and now he doesn't know if he can trust Diew's feelings for him. God still fully trusts Diew, but he doesn't know if Diew truly loves him or loves Pee. We all know, but God does not. And when God gave Diew the opportunity to say anything and Diew did not, the worm buried itself deeper. Then buried itself deeper still when God called out Diew on his lie and made assumptions about the bracelet and instead of telling him anything, Diew left.
What I love about this conflict is there is no right or wrong person. They are both flawed human beings that are hurting because they love each other but they don't know how to approach this issue yet. Because Diew is traumatized by Pee and is shutting down whenever he has to be vulnerable because of Pee but God has no way to know that. So it just seems like Diew is shutting him down and shutting him out. Were there ways that both of them could have avoided this conflict? Absolutely. Diew could have said "This is a hard topic for me to talk about. I want to tell you but I need time to be ready." God could have not made assumptions about the bracelet being given to Diew by an ex. But that's not who they are. They are both flawed and beautiful and in love and sometimes being in love makes things certain things harder and makes people behave irrationally.
But I fully believe that these two can get through this. Please don't break up. And once they make it through this conflict, they will have a better understanding of each other and will know exactly how to handle similar conflicts going forward. Because that's the thing about this conflict. They need to work through it as a team. As partners. And if any couple can do that, God and Diew can.
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lovelyatomicpeace · 2 days
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Guiding Light
Plot: Steve suddenly lost his father and doesn't know what to do, but luckily y/n is there for him.
Warnings: Sadness, crying, comfort, flashback
A little ff that I created from an idea that came to mind. Enjoy ❤️
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As the sun began its slow descent behind the treetops of Hawkins, the air filled with the cool bite of autumn, Y/n ran down the familiar road toward Steve's house. His heart was pounding, not just from sprinting, but from the weight of urgency and grief. The news of her father's sudden death had reached her painfully, like broken glass on a marble floor with which she felt all too intimate.
Steve and his father had never had such a close bond. Their conversations were usually abrupt, punctuated by misunderstandings and the silent tension of unfulfilled expectations. Y/n had watched from afar, every argument and every harsh word exchanged between them etched pain in her heart. She knew Steve needed her now more than ever. As she reached the front steps of Steve's house, she hesitated for a fleeting moment. She could hear the sound of muffled voices inside: friends and family gathered, each carrying the weight of their grief. But that was the last thing he thought about as he stretched toward the doorbell. She was not there for pleasantries; she was there to be his anchor. The door opened and there appeared Steve, disheveled and pale, his brown eyes wide and glassy.
Before she could even formulate a greeting, he collapsed in her arms, the dam breaking as he sobbed into her shoulder. It was the kind of heartbreak that echoed in the pit of her stomach; she held him tighter, feeling his tears against her neck, the tremors of loss shaking them both.
"I can't..." he gasped between breaths.
Y/N tightened his grip, cradling him as he cried. "It's okay, Steve. I'm here," he whispered, in a calm voice as if he could channel his pain through words.
The usually cavernous house was now full of people: friends and familiar faces were scattered, hushed whispers mingled with the subdued background of soft music coming from the living room. Lucas sat with Max, their usual quarrels absent. Dustin was solemn, preoccupied with scraping a nonexistent splinter in the sofa. Robin and Nancy clutched each other, offering silent support, while Jonathan and Will exchanged glances that said much about the pain they shared. Mike sat off to the side, fingers intertwined with El's, both looking lost. As the commotion hummed slightly behind her, Y/N guided Steve into the living room, away from prying eyes. The light filtering through the drawn curtains cast shadows but also warmth; it felt like a cocoon, a safe space in which to share his vulnerabilities. Gently, she led him to the couch, where they sank together, the outside world temporarily forgotten: one of his knees resting on the floor as he bent over her. She ran her fingers through his hair, reassuring him, rooting him on.
"I couldn't even say goodbye to him," Steve said in a choked voice, wiping away tears with the back of his hand. "We had to make things right-it was my last chance, and I blew it."
"You didn't ruin anything, Steve," Y/N reassured him, in a firm voice. "You loved him, even with all the hard things. That's all that matters now."
"Yes, but it wasn't enough," he murmured, lowering his gaze to the floor. "He never understood me. My whole life has been a struggle for his approval that I never got."
"Sometimes people are just ... complicated. Your relationship was not easy, but you still meant a lot to him. You were his son," Y/N replied softly. "You showed him love in the ways you could."
"Why did he have to be such a jerk to me?" he croaked, wiping tears from her face with the back of her hand. "He was so consumed with his life that he never stopped to listen ... to understand anything about it." Y/n nodded, her heart aching. She had witnessed Steve's struggles, his attempts to gain acceptance and recognition from a father who had inadvertently rejected him. The loss of a parent was complex enough, but when mixed with unresolved feelings, it turned into something even more bitter.
Steve stood in front of her, lost, remembering his last argument with his dad:
It was one of those stormy afternoons when the thunder rumbling overhead echoed the tensions brewing in the Harrington mansion. A heavy downpour painted its chaos against the large windows, mirroring the struggle that was brewing between Steve and his father. The opulent surroundings of the estate looked like a gilded prison. Steve stood defiantly in the spacious living room, his muscles tense with anger.
"Dad, I'm not going to trade school! You can't make me!" shouted Steve, the resolve in his voice trembling to the edge of desperation.
His father, Robert, sat behind a polished mahogany desk, his fingers intertwined under his chin. The man was the epitome of success, a tycoon respected and feared in equal measure. "I can and I will, Steven. You don't even want to follow in my footsteps. You want to waste your life chasing ... what? You want still to work for a stupid video store? You're not cut out for that."
"I'm not cut out for it either!" spat Steve, gesturing to the room full of memorabilia, awards and an expectation he couldn't stand. "I hate your idea of success. You want me to be your perfect little clone, and I won't do it! I refuse to be part of your empire!"
Robert's eyes squinted, his voice deceptively calm. "There are choices in life that shape your future, Steve. You think you have it all figured out, but you're just a child playing at adulthood. I have sacrificed so much for this family; the least you can do is live up to the legacy."
"Sacrifice?" Steve's voice cracked, the weight of lost years overwhelming him. "You never sacrificed anything for me! You were too busy building your empire to notice me!"
"Do you think this is easy? Do you have any idea how hard I worked?" retorted Robert, rising from his chair, anger exploding. "Look at you, look at what you are! A failure! You're a disappointment!"
Disappointment. The word hung in the air, choking, as if it had just settled in Steve's chest. That word shattered something deep inside him, igniting a longing for freedom he had never known existed.
"That's not true!" he cried back, hot tears filling his eyes. "You've never even tried to understand me. All you care about is your image, your successes! I don't want any of that!"
"I am your father! I'm trying to prepare you for life, and this is what you do? You throw everything away for ... you for nothing?"
Steve seethed with anger and pain, the mix of emotions contending inside him until he could take no more. "You know what? Maybe I don't need you at all!" he shouted before running from the room, tears streaming freely down his cheeks.
As he left the mansion, the storm was equal to the turmoil in his heart. He rushed out into the rain, letting the deluge wash over him. He could not face his father, the anger swirling in his chest was a tangible entity demanding to be released. It felt like the beginning of the end, a farewell to a future he had not chosen...
Suddenly y/n's hand on his cheek brings him back to reality. Steve looked up, searching her face for answers, something she could not give. "What good is love without understanding?" The question remained there, charging the air with a melancholy that enveloped them like a fog. Silence fell between them, filled only by Steve's occasional quiet sobs. It was then that she reached out her hand, placing it on his knee, a gentle but firm gesture. "I'm not going anywhere, you know that, right? You're not alone in this." Y/N says felt a chill run through her. "It's the only love we have," she said softly, and it's still valid." A faint ghost of a smile ripped through his tears as he wiped his face with the cuffs of his sweater.
"But I don't want you to feel like you have to put on a brave face," she murmured, her heart pounding. "It's okay to be broken. You don't have to go through this alone."
"I feel so lost," he confessed, her voice broken again. "What do I do now?"
"Take it one day at a time," Y/N replied, her heart breaking for him. "You let yourself grieve. You let yourself feel everything: the anger, the sadness, even the joy of memories. And when you're ready, you can start to heal."
Steve looked at her, and for a moment the heaviness lightened, if only a little. "Thank you, Y/N," he said, in a firmer voice. "You always know what to say."
"Not always," he admitted, with a sweet smile on his lips. "Only when it's about you."
"What if I can't get over this?"
Y/N leaned closer, their knees brushing. "You will, Steve. Just like you fought for everything else. You have friends who care about you, who want to help you. Lean on us." He nodded, but uncertainty hovered in his eyes. The truth was stark; he was afraid.
After a few beats, it was his turn to unleash his feelings. "And ... you don't have to pretend with me," she murmured, "about your father or how you feel. This is a safe place, okay?" He inhaled sharply, studying her face. "What if I want to pretend everything is okay?"
"Then we can pretend together."
A moment passed; their gazes met, understanding flowed silently between them. It was a moment of connection that was full of hope, even in the midst of pain. Steve's brown eyes shone with a potential nuance: something unspoken that hovered beautifully in the air between them. They stayed like that for a while: an embrace, a clinging to each other's presence. Outside, the world continued to struggle with the weight of their shared loss, but in those moments, they both began to feel a glimmer of warmth; a reminder that in the deepest despair, the bonds of friendship could shine brightly enough to illuminate the path ahead, even if that path was shrouded in uncertainty.
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betweenstorms · 11 hours
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Simon Riley was not a man of many words.
His silences were deeper than them, more telling than anything he might have spoken, and in the daylight, they suited him perfectly. He wore quiet the way others wore their skin, natural and seamless, woven into his very being. But at night, something shifted in the dark, as if the silence became too much even for him to bear.
It began one evening, with the world teetering on the edge of sleep, the air thick and drowsy, suspended in the quiet between breaths. His rough voice cut through the stillness, a deep murmur that slipped through the dark like a careless whisper carried on the wind—so soft, so low, you almost wondered if it was just a dream.
“You make everythin’ easier.”
It was a quiet confession, a thought that slipped from him unbidden, breaching the surface of his entire being, hanging in the air like a thin thread between you. You stirred, but held your breath, allowing his words to drift into the stillness—delicate, almost too fragile to touch. He wasn’t seeking a response from you anyway. His words weren’t meant for conversation, they were fragments of himself, pieces he only let fall in the dark, when the night was soft enough to hold his vulnerability without breaking it.
It became a sacred ritual, born from the shadows—his voice, low and rough like the scrape of gravel, rising only when the night wrapped itself around you both. He spoke of things that could never survive the light of day, shards of himself he’d long buried. 
He would tell you about the boy he once was, trapped in a home where silence had screamed louder than any argument. His mother wore her bruises like secrets, shadows beneath her skin that she never let anyone see. His father’s eyes held a fury so deep and lethal it felt ancient, a rage Simon knew he had been born with, something passed down like a curse etched into his pathetic bones.
And then, sometimes, the words shifted, softening as they turned toward you. It wasn’t often, but in those slipping moments, Simon would tell you about the way you made him feel, like you were the one constant in a world that had always been fractured and shifting.
“Don’t know why you stay, love,” he murmured one night, his hand brushing your cheek as if to tether himself to you. “But I’m fuckin’ glad you do.”
In the morning, it was as if the night had erased his words.
As the first light crept through the window, Simon would rise without a trace of the man who had spoken to you in the shadows. The mask slipped back into place as naturally as breathing, and with it, the stoic quiet returned. His hazel eyes would be distant again, guarded, as if the softness of the night had never touched him.
But you carried his words with you, like tokens of something sacred, tucking them away in the quiet places of your heart.
And that, in itself, was a kind of love he didn’t need to speak aloud. It was in the way he lingered a little longer in the mornings, the brief touch of his hand brushing against yours as if seeking an anchor before the day swept him away. It was in the way he would glance at you, a softening in his eyes that no one else would notice but you. And you understood that love, for him, was in the silence and the darkness, in the way he allowed himself to rest beside you.
Because for Simon Riley, this was love.
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l0stfoster · 1 day
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(Cursed Tulsa) Does Darry have like, chronic pains in his tail occasionally?? If it’s all messed up? Would he be unable to move it because of the pain? Does it get really bad? How does the gang help him when the pain is at its worst? What about Paul? Can he use his magic to sooth the pain? Or does it make it worse? Just casual questions 👀
Same format as each ask with multiple questions LET'S GET TO IT!! Does Darry have like, chronic pains in his tail occasionally
- Darry does get chronic pains in his tail, yes. Sometimes certain factors trigger a pain flare up; like weather conditions or how much he's moving it due to all the damage, but other times it has no prompting. It's usually a throbbing, shooting pain through his tail starting at where the break occurred. His job being so physically strenuous doesn't help, as his tail is a big part of keeping balance, and you need balance to be on a roof. - It also doesn't help that he'll still move it despite knowing how badly it can hurt; he's a fae, he's territorial, and he's clingy. Fae wraps their tails around those they care about pretty commonly, or they'll self-soothe by wrapping it around their own legs.
Would he be unable to move it because of the pain?
- Yeah, there's pretty minimal to almost no moment with it when the pain's flared up; which is really fucking inconvenient, since idle movement is a thing. He can't even try to do something like use a brace or anything of the sort, as the weight would cause more harm than good.
Does it get really bad?
- Yup, it gets bad enough that he physically can't go to work; it directly connects to his tailbone and all, so I can imagine his ability to walk or even sit gets heavily limited. He's utterly miserable, and usually just ends up curled up in bed in agony until it calms down, or until Soda can get a remedy together to temporarily help him out.
How does the gang help him when the pain is at its worst? What about Paul?
- Soda usually manages all this since he's very practiced with painkillers, even if they kinda end up hallucinogenic due to the plants he uses. It's not really something the gang can help with themselves, but they'll at least try to help out to prevent him from having to do too much moving about the house - Paul teams up with him for it, since he's the potion-handy one who probably knows a thing or two about this kind of stuff. Even then, sometimes he's got a spell that can increase the effects of whatever Soda whips up; they make a good team with it.
Can Paul use his magic to soothe the pain? Or does it make it worse?
- If circumstances regarding Paul's magic were different, then there's a chance he'd be able to use his magic to lessen the pain. Unfortunately for him, though, the lack of using his powers while growing up, the way they're tied to his emotions so closely, and the ritual carving on his back combined together pretty much prevent him from doing anything in the healing regard if it isn't through a blood ritual; and Darry would probably kill him if he dares to try that just to help him. He loves his boyfriend, but would absolutely be on him for that.
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crazylittlejester · 2 days
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Hey hey hey you should talk about your blorbos
YOURE SO RIGHT MAJOR THANKS FOR ENABLING ME >:)
I’ve talked a lot about Wars today I think so I’ll yap about Time because he is ALSO my special guy and I like yapping
(All of this is gonna be my headcanons/interpretations/how I write him, also my bad for spelling mistakes or if this is incoherent)
I feel like Time is a very complicated character who isn’t either the perfect stoic leader nor the crazy little gremlin, but something perfectly in between. I don’t think leading comes naturally to him at all, he’s doing an okay job, I mean no one’s died so far /j and his age and life experience makes him more likely to be listened to and respected, but I don’t think he’s perfect leader material. He’s a bit awkward and unsure, and yeah he’s got just as much information as the rest of ‘em do so he’s not really at an advantage. I wouldn’t say he’s COMPLETELY in over his head but I’m sure he’s had more than a few moments where he’s had to pinch the bridge of his nose and ask himself how on earth he wound up in this position. He’s not TRYING to be the group dad, but some of the younger ones kinda view him that way because he really does care about them all and he’s a safe person to go to
I’ve definitely yapped about this before but I hc he definitely gets overstimulated by the others sometimes. Him vs Wind and their polar opposite sensory issues is a fun thing to mess with in writing because I know Wind is the kid who struggles to sit still and everything is going so so fast for him all the time, it’s all very go go go go go and when he’s moving and yapping at light speed past Time who’s going through the mental equivalent of realizing the wheels on your bike are going faster than the pedals and you need to break or you’ll crash, it doesn’t end very well. Time is autistic to me, and while I think he’s higher support needs than say, Warriors, because he was a bit quiet and weird as a kid he just kinda got written off as odd and different and in HIS mind he thinks society overwhelms him so much because he grew up in the woods where any time he got overstimulated he could just walk off and get some space. Nature is comforting to him it helps him calm down so he can regulate himself again so if you stuck him in a city for long periods of time he wouldn’t do too hot. Also with him being autistic I think his facial expressions and voice can be quite flat at times. It takes more EXTREME emotions before you can see/hear them from him
I also hc that since he was a growing kid putting those masks on all the time and changing his body around so much it SERIOUSLY took a toll on him and his body is fairly loosely held together. He has a lot of chronic pain and very easily dislocates his hips and shoulders
ALSO I DUNNO WHAT THE ACTUAL THING WITH HIS EYE IS, BUT I HC HIS WHITE EYE IS GLASS. It’s not just that he can’t see out of it, it ain’t there. And the scar on his face is pretty deep and makes it difficult at times to move that side
THANKS FOR ENABLING MEEEE
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raayllum · 2 hours
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a/n: sometimes i don't realize how much my autism has affected my life / relationship and then it slams into me. a ficlet
It's been an hour since the spat at negotiations, for lack of a better term—Opeli still winces when she thinks of the sharpness in the young prince's voice, straightening out his Evenere green robes with a finicky flourish—and Ezran had requested to be alone for the break.
Opeli had obliged him, not pleased he'd wanted distance from even Soren and Corvus when they had visiting nobles and servants over, but so long as they stood guard at wherever he'd gone, she couldn't really find it in her to object. Being king could be overwhelming even if you weren't eleven years old.
It's nearing the time negotiations will re-commence, though, and... she can't find him.
He's not in the kitchens, or one of the smaller dining halls he likes to use with Soren and Corvus. He's not with Callum, who went to the courtyard to sketch, a worried crease in his brow (he'd checked on his brother—you alright, Ez?—talked down the prince, but Ez had shooed him off).
Opeli is beginning to despair that maybe he's run off into one of the remaining secret passageways, or even gotten stuck somewhere, when she spots Soren and Corvus standing in front of the library doors. Corvus seems as troubled as Callum, Soren catching her eye and arm when she moves to go inside.
"I think he's having a rough time," Soren says softly. "You might wanna..."
"I don't know if we can delay the next meeting any further," Opeli says apologetically. He releases her, nodding but unhappy about it, and she pushes open the door.
It takes a few moments, peering through the tall aisles of shelves and one or two alcoves, but eventually she finds the young boy king in one of the armchairs tucked away in a corner, a book open in his lap. And in truth, Opeli hears him before she sees him, because Ezran is... crying.
Big fat tears rolling down his cheeks in ways she hasn't seen since they completed King Harrow's memorial statue based off Prince Callum's sketches, or since those early, overwhelming weeks of being king once the Moonshadow elf had left... Bait's not in his lap either, pawing at his thigh but otherwise ignored, which isn't like Ezran either; so much so, Opeli stops right in her tracks.
"I'm, er—" She starts, then stops. He's clearly not okay so there's no point in asking. She eases onto her knees instead beside his armchair, unsure of how to proceed until she knows what's distressing him. It's not far from the anniversary of the attack, so maybe...? "I'm afraid the meeting is going to resume, soon, King Ezran."
He sniffles, looking briefly at her and then just starting at the floor, his eyes hardening. He doesn't move. He doesn't even wipe away his tears.
She purses her lips. "Ezran?"
Finally he looks at her, his face contorting—livid like she's never seen. "I don't know how to do this, Opeli."
"King Ezr—"
"Prince Erik asked for more information, so I gave it, and then he snapped at me and—I just don't understand!" Ezran cries, tiny fingers curling into fists. His eyes go wide with frustration, searching for something he can't find. "I don't get it. We've always had these trade deals and they worked fine, and this new one is the exact same, but now the policy's a problem? And when I pointed out it's just like the old ones, he said it just feels like Evenere needs something different even though those things are there for a reason—and no one cares about the reason but me!"
Opeli reaches for his arm. "Ezran—"
He stands, pacing. "And then when I explain those reasons, it's like... I knew as a kid the other kids didn't like me because I talked too much, and I was boring about wanting to talk about bugs or animals, or—so I just... I tried so hard to use less words and always say what I mean, but people still didn't get it, or like it." He pressed his palms to his eyes, tears leaking out underneath. "And it's the same damn thing in court, I don't—at the last Summit, Prince Erik didn't mind how much I talked because we were agreeing on policy, but now that we disagree I-I can't, for some reason? I'm just trying to explain, but he thinks I'm being condescending, but I don't think I'm smarter than him, I don't, I try so hard to say things right and I just don't know how —"
"Ezran." She takes him by the shoulders and he looks up at her, red-eyed with a runny nose. She takes a deep breath for her own measure, reaching up to wipe away some of his tears. "The prince, as many do, have an ego. You are doing your—"
"Well yeah, some people are jerks like him. But most people aren't, and I still can't... Why can't people just know you value them? Why do I have to remember to spell it out every time? Why do I have to rad their mind and know what they need without them telling me? If I'm listening it's because I think we can reach common ground... Because the respect is already there. And I try so hard to explain so we can just reach common ground, but people just—they don't see that. And I don't know how to make them see that. I came up here to read hoping I'd find something so I can understand where His Highness is coming from, but it still doesn't make sense to me, and... I'm so tired, Opeli."
Gods, she wishes she had a better answer for him. She gives his shoulders a tiny squeeze, and then reaches up and takes off his crown. "Go to the gardens for the rest of the day," she says. "With your crownguard, or your brother, or both. Down by the town. I'll tell the prince and his delegates you're not feeling well."
Ezran's eyes shine as she presses the crown into his hands. "But—"
"No buts. It's like you said: you're tired. You deserve rest." Opeli offers up a tiny smile. "Go on."
Ezran steps away, bottom lip trembling, and then throws his arms tightly around her in the middle. They've never hugged before, she thinks, but she hugs him back now, rubbing his shoulders gently.
"Thank you, Opeli," he mumbles, some of the last tears fading. "'M sorry I'm so..."
She shushes him quietly. "You're a very special boy, my king. Not everyone is going to understand that. And I know it hurts, but not everyone needs to. Just keep... being yourself. We all love you here. You know that, don't you?"
He pulls back slowly, not smiling, but not looking nearly as worn down as before. He tucks his crown under one arm, and picks up Bait with the other. He has one last big sniffle. "Yes. I do."
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samsrowena · 2 years
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the thing is i think one of the biggest reasons rowena would be so good for sam is because she could offer him a very healthy separation between hunting and having a "normal" life. which is something he's never had with any of his other partners because they were all either 100% out or 100% in. like i'm pretty sure she's one of the only people he knows in the life that doesn't actually let it consume her life. she helps out in emergencies and joins them on hunts whenever they need her but otherwise she just does her own thing. she indulges in self care days and she goes out to fancy dinners and she literally just allows herself to have fun and enjoy things outside of the supernatural world. and that's something sam is in desperate need of
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thedreadvampy · 4 months
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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sxlphie · 3 months
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Still haven't processed the experience of FFVII Rebirth and I literally beat it months ago. So much happened
#ab.txt#tags will have spoilers#can we talk about tifa in rebirth because oh my god do I feel sorry for her#I mean it's always been a big part of her character that she often puts the people she wants to help above her own needs#but seeing the absolute chaos cloud's state has wrought on her is devastating#her best friend is crumbling in front of her eyes and she partially blames herself#after aerith dies and you can see she's juggling her grief and also enormous concern for cloud slipping out of reality#she will never catch a break man#OH and I have to say. Barret's backstory was definitely one of my favourite moments in the original#obviously apart from the gameplay surrounding that section (corel always manages to be tedious)#and they really did a good job with it in rebirth. really compelling and tragic#and finally getting to see myrna just made it feel so much more real.#sometimes I think about how much guilt barret will shoulder for his entire life. he suffers so much#they all suffer so much man.#don't even get me started on aerith in rebirth. do not even joke lad.#playing as a helpless little aerith trying to scrape any sort of aid for her dying mother just about broke me for good#her entire life just sucks doesn't it#never had any true lasting friends growing up because she was that weird cetra girl#falls in love with a boy and he dies and she intuitively knows it but chooses to believe he ran off with other women to protect her heart#I love the final date she goes on with cloud before her death. she was allowing herself to be selfish for once#she just constantly has to push down her desires because she knows her fate is sacrifice#such long tags I'm so sorry.
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aajjks · 6 months
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tw/ hórny èx bf, hè ís à crèèp, nôncôn, èxplïcït ând nsfw thèmès.
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It’s hard to break up with someone like him because he doesn’t get the hint- it’s been barely 6 days and he finds himself right in front of your door.
Really horny. And quite frankly messed up.
He bangs on your door- at first he’s gentle, but then he finds himself losing his patience when you don’t open up after a few bangs at your door, even with the bell It’s not working.
He just might have to be a little bit more aggressive with it. See now, he doesn’t like being aggressive with you. He knows that you hate this side of him. That’s why you broke up with him in the first place.
It’s not really a break up to him though because you’re just trying to break and he thinks that this break has lasted way longer than it should have in the first place. So he takes deep breath, and he starts banging at it like a maniac.
“Yn! YN OPEN UP!” But you don’t. You’re really trying to test his patience and then you try to lecture him on his aggressive nature.
His pupils are dilated at this point, he’s feeling so crazy right now, it’s aching and his pants, and he has missed you like crazy-staring at your pictures is not enough anymore. Not at all.
It’s your fault, you know.
It’s your fault that you’re so beautiful and that you have his heart in your hands… he closes his eyes for a moment, and then he takes out the spare keys he had to your apartment-of course, you don’t know about them, but he had a locksmith make them for him.
Without any rational thinking- he unlocks your apartment with ease.
And soon the familiar scent of your home hits him and your ex boyfriend finds himself relaxing, his head feels a little better now. “Yn!~~~” he calls out your name with affection but you still don’t respond.
Weird.
So he decides to check if you’re home. He really hopes that you are because he needs to talk to you and… a lot of other other things.
First to fall of course it’s gonna be your bedroom, his feet, take him to the familiar room so easily, because he remembers every single room in your home, like the back of his hand.
And to his surprise? He hears the shower running. A Cheshire Cat smile spreads across his lips. But before he can think anything else, the shower drops sounds come to a halt.
Oh, so you must be done..
He waits- by sitting on your bed and waiting for you to come out, and he doesn’t have to wait long, so he unzips his pants, creepy? He doesn’t give a fuck.
He needs to fuck you and get you back. He has everything you ever want. Quite frankly, you can be ungrateful. Anyone would kill to be in your place… but too bad he wants you.
And there you are, in all your wet glory-with a towel loosely wrapped around your body, you gasp, expected, in surprised to see him, he smirks.
Your eyes widen and you open your mouth to scream at him, he doesn’t mind you can because he’s missed your voice a lot.
“Hi baby.” He greets you. Licking his lips, because he feels himself getting harder when he stares at your soaked, freshly washed body.
You look so sexy like this I can’t help but remember all the times he would fuck you senselessly in the shower or sometimes when you were done with it.
You’re just so irresistible. You get him so horny for no reason at all. It’s your fault and now you’re going to have to help him out.
“W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” You finally say something to him, even though you’re screaming at him like a maniac, he doesn’t mind.
“I can’t help it baby you know I love you and I can’t live without you-and I’m so horny right now.” He licks his lips again, getting up from your bed to walk towards you.
He needs to touch you right now.
“I told you you couldn’t break up with me but you thought you could.. so I just wanted to give you a little break, but I think it has lasted enough now I need you back.” He groans. You smell so good even his muscles are pulsing.
His eyes are you like a predator and You should know that you cannot escape.
He is way too strong for you.
“Come on now- look at me? I’m so fucking hard because I was thinking about you- and look at you.. fuck…” he breathes out, taking you by your waist.. but then he gets another idea.
So instead of holding you, he drops to his knees.
This is gonna get you so weak for him.
“Let me eat your pussy. Missed it so much.” He looks into your eyes when he grabs your legs. You barely manage to hold onto your towel, which was about to fall. And something switches in your eyes.
You have missed him too.
He smiles. “I bet you missed me too. Fuck- baby let me have a taste please- I’m doing this to make it up to you. I know I pissed you off, so let me make it up.” He breathes, slowly, removing the towel and he starts to tease you by rubbing his hands over to your clit.
You whimper, you’ve always been so weak for him.
He knows you need him-equally as bad as he needs you. And he’s going to make you realize it tonight. He leans his face closer to your cunt, and you grab his wide shoulders for support.
“Oh look at you baby- you’ve already started to get wet.” He coos, pressing a kiss to your thigh, and then his kisses get closer to your heat, “f-fuck. You’re so fucking bad for this.” You moan out. He knows that you’re trying to reject him still even though he knows what your heart and body really want.
Him.
“I know yn.. but fuck- you’re my bad habit.” He replies before he takes one of his fingers out of your pussy and he smashes his mouth into it- his tongue starting to eat you out.
“Nghhh fuck.” You moan as he starts to tease you again with his teeth- he’s so messy right now, all sloppy as he pushes his tongue in deeper and deeper.
That’s how you like it.
His mind is in a frenzy because the noises you’re making are purely sinful- your towel gals to the ground and your back arches.
He won’t let you fall.
He will make you cum in his tongue.
“Ugh fuck..” he groans as he eagerly laps at your juices, you’re giving him so much.
And he knows you’re already going to cum.
“A-Agh fuck don’t stop- don’t fuckin stop.” You command him and grab on his locks- that arouses him anymore- you taste so fuckin good.
He can kill anyone for you.
“O-Oh fuck- baby cum on my tongue- you can do it.” He praises you- his hands on your ass as he squeezes it, you pull on his hair.
His teeth graze your clit.
“Should I fuckin bite? Since you’re so *pants* fuckin mean to me? Nah.. I love you..” he barely manages to speak because you’re suffocating him and you’re going to cum.
“You can *pants* only cum if you come back to *pants* m-me.”
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BNHA- hawks, aizawa, bakugo, deku
JJK- gojo, geto, toji, sukuna
5K notes · View notes
soaps-mohawk · 1 month
Text
Cherry Red, Crimson Blood
Chapter 34: The Whole Truth
Summary: In life, we will be confronted with difficult choices. Sometimes you won't know you've made the wrong choice until it's too late
Pairing: Poly 141 x reader
Word Count: 12,582 words
Warnings: Dead dove: do not eat, Angst, graphic violence and torture, mentions of predatory behavior towards a minor, Phillip Graves is a major creep, lots blood and injuries, kidnapping and its aftermath, hostage situations, anxiety and panic attacks, language, very explicitly described torture, ‘mega gets hit a lot, choking, biting, ‘mega gets stabbed with an ice pick, author can’t write COD missions, vomiting, lots of heavy emotions, detailed descriptions of pain, guns, background character dies on screen, descriptions of guilt and grief, lots of POV changes, some descriptive language of gore and blood at the end, rehashing of ‘mega’s injuries from the last chapter, a lot of angst and very heavy content, Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe
A/N: This chapter deals with some pretty heavy content. Please, please, please read and heed the warnings. I have included content warnings for the more graphic parts before they happen, so if you don't want to read those, you can skip ahead to the next part. I suggest taking breaks if you need to, read it in installments if necessary. And I cannot stress it enough, please heed the warnings.
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“Hi darlin’.” His grin widens like he’s happy to see you. “Been a long time.” 
You squeeze your eyes shut for a moment, your brain still sluggish. You feel sick as you try to process, try to figure out why and how. You try to move your arms again, but your wrists are stuck, hands burning as you pull. You desperately want them free, desperately need them free. 
“Easy,” Phil says, putting his hands on yours, pushing them flat against the arms of the chair. They’re warm and calloused, the same hand that had been on your face a few moments ago. “You’re gonna hurt yourself. More than you already have been.” He lifts your left leg, making you groan quietly as a deep ache throbs down to your foot and up to your hip. 
Running. A gunshot. Pain.
“He had strict orders not to harm you.” Phil says, adjusting the bandage wrapped around your calf. “Don’t worry. We got you all fixed up.” He sets your leg back down gingerly, his touch lingering for a moment before he looks back up at you. 
“Why?” You croak out, trying to make sense of what happened. 
Corporal McKinney broke into the barracks and chased you into the woods. He shot you and drugged you and now you’re here, restrained in a chair staring at a man you haven’t seen for years. A man who was once your dad’s best friend. 
“A lot has happened since we saw each other last.” He says, pushing himself to stand. “I left the Marines after a few years, formed my own group of military contractors. Invited your dad to join, but you know how he is. All honor and duty and serving the country. Of course, you haven’t seen him in quite a while, have you?” 
You stare up at him, starting to get scared. You never liked Phil. There was always something about him that put you off. He always stared too long, always sat too close to you. He always greeted you with a hug that lasted too long, squeezing you too tightly against him. He was sweet on you in a way he wasn’t with anyone else. He could be intense, brash and almost downright rude sometimes. He was a firm believer in traditional packs too, even if he never spoke about his own pack, his own omega. He had to have one, if he was as dedicated as he said. 
He was far too much like your father. 
Phil was always kinder to you, though. Softer. Not quite as callous and bellicose as your father in public. He was polite, always happy to lend a hand, always glad to roughhouse with your brothers to get their energy out. You saw the way your mother looked at him though. Perhaps her apprehension bled into you, those dormant omega instincts picking up on something she was projecting. 
He made you uncomfortable, and she knew it. 
What could an omega do, though, in a world where they don’t have opinions, they can’t argue, they can’t disagree. Your mother never said anything because in the world your family existed in, the world Phil existed in, she couldn’t. 
“He was so angry when he called.” Phil continues, staring down at you. “Ranting and raving about how his oldest daughter betrayed him by presenting as an omega. He couldn’t stand having such a useless child in his perfect pack.” You flinch at his words, even though you heard your father spew those very words after your presentation firsthand. 
“He called you?” You ask, the pieces starting to come together as your brain finally snaps fully into awareness. You knew he called someone, but you hadn’t thought it would ever be Phil. 
“Of course.” Phil chuckles. “We were good friends, pals, buddies. He knew I could help him.” A shiver runs down your spine. You know what he’s going to say next. “So I did. I have some contacts in some high places, people who owe me favors. So I made some calls, pulled some strings, got you into FIOT immediately, with some strings attached of course.” He leans down so you’re almost face to face. “I wanted you. They put a note in your file. You wouldn’t be placed in the registry when you were old enough, you would go to me and my pack.” 
Bile churns in your stomach as you process his words. It all makes sense now. The stares, the hugs, the closeness with your father, your rapid enrollment in an institute that can take weeks to process applications. It was all so you could be his. Something he’s wanted from early on. 
“You would have been mine,” He pushes himself up straight again, starting to pace back and forth in front of you. “If the fucking CIA hadn’t gotten involved!” You flinch as his voice raises, the frustration starting to darken his scent. “They froze your file, made the claim null and void. All for what, their little initiative that never really existed in the first place?” He huffs out a laugh, a smirk tilting his lips. “Small world, though. Who knew we’d be seeing each other again after so long.” 
He steps closer, looking down at you. You hold his gaze, suddenly feeling afraid. Even though you know him, even though you spent a good part of your childhood around him, you’re afraid of him right now. Your mind starts to revert back, the urge to lower your eyes, break eye contact like you’re supposed to flashing through your mind. 
Don’t stare alphas in the eyes. They’ll take that as a challenge. It’s not your job to challenge them. Your job is to be subservient. 
You would have been subservient to him if the CIA hadn’t gotten involved. You would have been under his control, bowing to him and his will. You’d have pups by now, at least one. He’d always talked about having a big pack with lots of pups someday, always glancing at you when he said it. 
You’re going to vomit all over him. 
It’s not just the truth that scares you, though. You’re being held captive here. That thought has registered in your mind now, the reality settling in as you get over the shock of the last few minutes. Corporal McKinney kidnapped you from base, and now you’re restrained in a chair surrounded by unknown alphas. Phil isn’t going to help you, take pity on you. He’s not here to be nice, to have a little chat and catch up on life.
That possibly ended as soon as he was denied what he wanted. 
His hand cups your chin, holding your face up as he looks down at you. His thumb is rough as it strokes your jaw, a tickling feeling starting in the back of your mind again. There’s an almost bittersweet look in his eyes as he holds your gaze. You refuse to lower it, refuse to give him that satisfaction. “You’ve grown up a lot.” He says, his hand sliding down your neck to the collar of your shirt. “You always were cute, though. I knew early on you were going to be an omega. You were far too...calm and compliant compared to your brothers. Always so polite and eager to please. You can tell if you pay attention, you know. Those dormant instincts start to show themselves long before presentation.” 
His hand pulls your collar to the side, revealing your mark. His eyes harden as he stares at it, his lips turning down into a frown. A shiver runs down your spine as the darkness in his scent intensifies. He’s not holding you hostage just to tell you about what could have been, what direction your life might have taken. He’s here for a reason, and you know your pack is involved. Something has happened, something behind the scenes, something John was looking into. 
“What’s going on?” You ask as he releases your collar, taking a step back. 
“Well, you’re being held hostage.” He says, like it isn’t already obvious. “You’re...shall we say...leverage to ensure your pack follows orders.” 
You blink at him. You haven’t heard from or spoken to your pack in weeks. You should be relieved that they’re apparently still alive, but what if you had been right and they don’t want you anymore? Why would they take you if your pack has abandoned you? Or did they take you to ensure they wouldn’t...
“Laswell stuck her nose somewhere it shouldn’t have been.” Phil says, crossing his arms. “It’s only so long before your pack finds out. Let’s just say...they’re not going to be happy about it. So, to ensure they don’t do something impulsive and reckless as they are known to do, you’re going to play hostage.” 
You gulp as you stare up at him, suddenly feeling very afraid. Your scent spikes in the air, clouding it with the bitter scent of anxiety. It was the plan all along. You knew it even if you hadn’t been told outright. Deep down you’ve always known it wasn’t about strengthening packs. It wasn’t about studying how an omega would increase or decrease the efficiency of military packs. With the events of the last few months, the idea had started to form in your mind. You know you weren’t alone in those thoughts. John and Simon were digging into the cameras for a reason. They were put up for a reason. 
It was always about control.
That was the point of the initiative. That was why they put cameras up, that was why General Shepherd was so invested in the state of your pack and if you had been mated. He needed to ensure you were close enough to them so if something happened that wasn’t supposed to, you could be used against them. 
You’re nothing more than leverage. 
Your scent spikes in the air, clouding the room as reality sinks into you. Something happened that caused this. Something called your pack away to isolate you, to leave you vulnerable. They wanted you alone as a contingency. 
Something did happen. 
Now you’re here, being held captive by a man you used to know, a man who could have been your alpha had things not played out the way they did. The thought has your stomach churning. How far will they go? How far will Phil take things? Could he be merciful because of your history? Or will his ruined plan make him more ruthless? 
You’ll be punished for something you can’t control. 
Phil makes a soft sound as he looks at you, shaking with fear in the chair. “Don’t be scared. As long as your pack does as they’re told, I won’t have to hurt you.” He turns the light back to face you, nearly blinding you. “Now, smile for the camera.” 
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They’re safe. 
It had been close. A rough position to be in, but they managed it. He never doubted them and their abilities, but four against nearly fifty with no backup were not good odds. He’s been in tighter places before, and while he had his doubts, he is grateful Johnny and Simon were sent in when they were. Even if it was a bit suspicious.
“All accounted for.” John says as he sinks down onto one of the jump seats next to Kyle. 
They’re all battered and bruised from their final fight. He’s ready to get home, ready to get back to you. From the sound of it, things were not going well, according to Johnny and Simon. He has a lot to make up for, a lot of apologies to make. 
“Fucking Russian PMCs.” He says, speaking to Kate over the comms. “It’s not a coincidence Kate.” 
Kate lets out a sigh that crackles through the comm. “No, it’s not. My team and I came across some information while we were digging into the cameras.” 
“What information?” He asks slowly and carefully. He doesn’t like being kept in the dark, especially when it comes to his pack. Especially when it comes to you. 
“Not just information on the initiative, but information on General Shepherd.” 
“What information?” He asks again, slower this time as Johnny and Simon move in closer. 
“Shepherd was the one that sold those weapons to AQ and the Russians.” 
John looks at the other three members of his team. He knew something was wrong, something was off about the way Shepherd had acted while informing them about this mission. “He wanted those missiles found and destroyed so he could cover his own ass.” He says, his stomach starting to twist. He doesn’t like the way this is going. 
“But we found out the truth before you could find all the missiles.” Kate continues. “He sent you on a wild goose chase to give himself a chance to escape.” 
John’s hand tightens into a fist. “Where is he now?” 
“He’s gone dark. Totally off radar.” 
John pushes himself up to stand, the adrenaline pumping again. “I’m going to find that bastard-” 
“John.” Kate says, cutting him off. “There’s something else.” 
The twisting in his stomach intensifies. There’s a bad feeling tickling in the back of his mind. He doesn’t want to entertain the dark thoughts that are brewing. “What?” 
“They took your omega.” 
His stomach clenches, his breath catching in his lungs. The other three shift on their feet, all of them stepping closer. The scent in the plane thickens, anger and confusion mixing into a toxic cocktail. He hopes he heard that wrong, that there was some kind of interference in the connection and his brain made up the words he missed. “Repeat that.” 
“They took your omega.” Kate says again.
He lets out a long breath, his muscles tensing. He’s had a bad feeling tickling in the back of his mind for the last few days. Something was wrong, something was off. He should have known it was all a ruse. Why would AQ and the Russians store a missile in any of the places they had been sent to in the last week? It hadn’t made sense, and he had wanted to voice his doubts, but the consequences of a missile being launched because they decided not to look in one place was greater than his own perceived doubts. 
They had been right though. 
Of course it had all been a plan. Of course there had been something fishy about it. He’s hardly ever wrong. He’s been praised on his instincts on the field and off. He should have known. Pulling Simon and Johnny when they did should have been enough evidence, even if they had been needed in the end. 
“You’re positive?” He knows she is. There’s no mistaking something like that, there’s no doubting it. 
“There’s a video.” Kate says, John’s stomach dropping. “I’m sending it to you now.” 
John pulls out his phone, his fingers white as he holds it up. He’s angry, beyond angry. If they’ve laid a hand on you...if you’ve been hurt because of his own failings, his own inability to see the truth...
He clicks on the video when it comes in, a familiar face popping up on screen. “Hi boys. Been a while.” 
“Fucking Graves.” Johnny growls, his hands closing into fists in anger. 
“I have a little something of yours I think you might be interested in.” He turns the camera around, your face popping up on screen. You’re restrained in a chair, wrists red from the zip ties, but there’s a glare on your face, looking as mean and threatening as you can. There’s a bruise on your cheek and what looks like a healing cut on your lip. Someone hit you. 
“Smile for the camera.” Graves says, a bit too cheerfully. 
You don’t smile, your glare sharpening as the camera gets closer to your face. There’s still fight left in you. Whatever has happened hasn’t been too bad. Yet. 
“Let’s make this simple.” Graves says. “You stay away from Shepherd, and I won’t have to hurt this pretty little face. She is pretty, isn’t she?” 
You shift in the chair, your leg lifting before you kick outward. 
“Ow, you little bitch.” The camera jostles for a moment before it’s straightened back up, a hand shooting out to wrap around your throat. There’s no sign of any struggle, the glare still prominent on your face. “Feisty thing. Gotta keep up with those wild boys somehow.” 
The hand tilts your face just slightly, showing the mark on your neck. It is you, not that John doubted that from the beginning. It may have been almost two months, but he wouldn’t forget your face that easily. 
“Like I said,” Graves continues. “Follow your orders and she’ll be released unharmed.” 
The screen goes dark and John resists the urge to throw his phone. He shoves it back into his pocket, turning towards the wall of the plane. He throws his fist against the metal as hard as he can. It hurts, but he can barely feel it over the rage burning hot in him. 
“Fucking Shepherd!” He shouts, rearing back to throw his hand against the wall again.
Graves has his omega. Graves has his omega and now you’re being used as leverage. They’re all being played like puppets. 
A hand catches his fist before he can punch the wall again, easing him back. “Easy.” Kyle says, trying to soothe him as best he can. “We have proof of life, we know that she’s alright for now.” 
“For now.” He growls, looking around at the members of his team. “But for how long?” 
“They knew we’d go after Shepherd as soon as we learned the truth.” Simon says. “This has been in the plans for a long time.”
“They’re trying to get us to make a choice. Focus on getting our omega back while letting Shepherd escape, or go after Shepherd and let our omega be tortured.” Kyle says. 
“Those fuckin’ wankstains.” Johnny says, shifting on his feet. He’s angry, the bitter scent filling the enclosed area of the plane. They’re all angry, angry at those responsible, and angry at themselves for falling for it. “They were usin’ us the whole time.” 
John lets out a long breath. It’s a hard decision to make. Go after Shepherd and cut the head off the snake, or go after you and let the person orchestrating all of this escape. Graves won’t stop, even if they do manage to take out Shepherd. He has his orders, and he will follow them, with or without Shepherd pulling the strings.
There might be a second contingency. They kill Shepherd, you die too. 
No matter what, you won’t be safe. If they go after you, Shepherd escapes and if they try to hunt him down later, he’ll use you again, or worse. They don’t have to kill Shepherd, though. They have proof he’s a traitor. He can be brought to justice if he’s caught. Death is too gentle of a punishment for what he’s done. He deserves to rot in prison for the rest of his life. 
They have to make sacrifices for the good of the world. 
“We’re going after Shepherd.” He says, taking a deep breath. “None of us will be safe if we don’t.” 
“That’s dangerous, John.” Kate says. “We don’t know how far Shepherd or Graves will take this. You know how Graves is. He may not be able to be stopped, even if Shepherd tells him to.” 
He takes a second to breathe. His pack is silent, all three of them staring at him, waiting for him to make this decision. He is pack alpha, he is their Captain. They do what he tells them to do, follow his orders no matter what. Kate is right, this is a risk, but sacrifices have to be made. Hands have to be dirtied to keep the world clean. 
He just hopes you’ll forgive him. 
“We’re going after Shepherd.” John says definitely. 
“This is a bad idea, John.” Kate warns him. 
“It’s the only option we have. They’re trying to draw us away. It’s a risk we have to take.” He can see the apprehension on his packmate’s faces. They’re all feeling it, the drive to go after their omega, but deep down he is right. They’ll never be safe until Shepherd is taken care of. Going after Graves only removes one small piece of the puzzle. The job always comes first. 
“Get us locations, places he might try to dig in and hide.” He says, heading towards the cockpit. “We’ll find this arsehole and kill him ourselves. 
***
Kate lets out a sigh as the comms close off. It’s a mistake. She knows it is. The guilt is eating her alive. She fell for this, she brought you into this, and now you might get hurt because of it. How she didn’t see the reality has shame burning through her. They were all blind, all led astray, all fooled by the red herring. 
There was never an initiative. It was never about strengthening packs. It was always about control. They wanted a way to control packs. Shepherd knew if the secret ever came out, there would be no stopping the consequences. Legal or illegal, retribution would come for him if the truth was revealed. 
This was his way of stopping it. 
That's why the 141 were the guinea pigs. 
They are the most dangerous threat to Shepherd, and he handed them a way to control them under the guise of strengthening packs, experimenting on how their dynamics and efficiency would shift with an omega added in. Even worse, they all fell for it. 
John is making a mistake. Graves won’t stop so long as Shepherd knows they’re coming after him. The last thing she wants is for you to get hurt because of their decisions, their mistakes. Shepherd won’t order Graves to kill you. That’s too much of a risk. It would give the 141 nothing to lose, and that would put them at their most dangerous. 
Will Graves listen to that order? 
She can send out a team to get eyes on Graves, find his position at least. That way, if things do take a turn, she’ll at least have a direction to point them in. 
They were all too trusting and ignorant. You’re innocent in all of this. 
It’s her fault. 
They’re going to need help. 
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Christine can’t sit still anymore. She can't take it. It’s been almost eighteen hours since your disappearance and there’s been nothing. No word, no news. She knows you’re alive. Kate had confirmed that, but that hasn’t eased the burning questions eating away at her mind. What is your current state? Who took you and why? Where is your pack and are they even aware of what’s happening? 
She’s been sitting and twirling her thumbs. She can’t bring herself to do any paperwork, any research. What is there to do besides sit and worry? She doesn’t have a patient to take care of because she lost the one she was supposed to watch. 
She huffs out a breath, pulling her phone out of her pocket and dialing Kate. If Kate won’t call, she’ll call herself. Kate’s probably busy though, so Christine can’t blame her too much for not calling. She’s probably so far from the front of Kate’s mind right now. 
The phone rings twice before Kate answers, sounding tired and disheveled, just as much as Christine feels. 
“Laswell.”
“Kate, I need to be there.” She doesn't hold back, doesn’t try to make small talk. There’s no time for it. She knows how Kate is doing, and it’s not great. 
“Christine, I don’t know if I can take that risk.” She says. 
“I need to be there. I can't take sitting around here anymore, and when you find her, she’s going to need someone she knows there, someone that knows how to take care of her.” Christine lets out a breath, the relief of getting her thoughts out taking some of the weight off her shoulders. 
Kate sighs, but she has to know Christine is right. She’s not sure what state you’re in, and depending on how bad it is, and where your pack is, you’re going to need her. Even if you think she was behind this. “I’ll have a plane ready to go in thirty minutes.” 
“Thank you, Kate.” She says, letting out a sigh of relief. 
“Don’t miss the flight.” 
Christine hangs up, gathering a couple things from her office before closing and locking her door. She nearly runs to her barracks, packing a bag quickly. She’s not sure what to bring, or how long this will take. She’s not even sure exactly where she’s going. 
She hurries to the airfield, phone in hand. She’s not sure where the plane is or which one she’s taking. She’s just relieved Kate is doing this for her. 
Her phone buzzes as she reaches the tarmac, making her puse. She lets out an annoyed sigh before answering the call. 
“Of course you have to call at the worst possible moment.” She says. 
“I’ve always had the worst timing.” Alex’s voice comes through the speaker, and she can almost hear the smile on his face. 
“I can’t talk long. I’m about to board a plane.” She says. 
“I know. We’ll pick you up on the tarmac.” 
She blinks in surprise. It’s been years since she’s seen her brother, months since she’s spoken with him. Ever since he retired from Delta Force, his regular calls have been happening less and less, and they’ve reached near radio silence over the last couple years. Now he’s involved in this too? 
“Kate called in a favor.” He continues, and that’s all she needs to know. “We’ll see you in a few hours.” 
“Yeah.” She says, tears brimming in her eyes as she smiles. Despite everything, she’s glad she gets to see her brother again. Glad she has some support in this. Your pack will be mad. They’ll blame her. She’s not afraid of them, but she knows Alex will stand behind her no
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**Content Warning: light torture, ‘mega gets punched, further injury to previous injuries, panic attack**
Your hands are starting to go numb. The constant attempts to free yourself from the zip ties isn’t helping, but you’re beginning to get twitchy. Your omega is scratching at the back of your mind, begging to be free, but you know you won’t survive it. The room is full of armed mercenaries, and you’re sure if you tried to take out Phil first, you’d be pumped full of bullets before you could even do any damage. 
He’s leaning against the wall far too casually, staring at the phone he’d used to record the first video of you. His explanation had been simple. Your pack stops going after General Shepherd, you don’t get hurt. The longer they chase Shepherd, the more Phil gets to torture you until they decide your life is worth more than Shepherd’s. 
Will they choose you over Shepherd? What if they’ve already decided to abandon you? What if your fears were right and they’ve given up, and that’s why they were gone so long? They won’t care what happens to you, if they have written you off as a burden, as a loss. They’ll let Phil torture you to death and they won’t even blink an eye. You’ll just be another casualty. 
It makes your stomach hurt, the idea of your pack letting you die. Even the idea of someone who had once been a friend of your family being so cold towards you has nausea bubbling in your belly. He doesn’t care. His only worry is money, not the past. He doesn’t care. He’ll do the bidding of whoever offers the highest price. 
He lets out a sigh, pocketing his phone as he pushes himself off of the wall. “Looks like your boys don’t follow orders well.” He bends down, putting his hands on his knees so he’s face to face with you. “They’ve decided to leave you here with me. Looks like Shepherd was wrong. They don’t really care about you as much as everyone thought they did. Makes me sad, them abandoning you so easily.” 
You try to ignore his words, try to convince yourself he’s doing it on purpose, trying to mentally break you. Yet you can’t deny those words play exactly into your doubts, your fears. Have they really left you here, choosing Shepherd over you? Would they decide to do that? How easy had that decision been made?  
Tears blur your vision as you stare up at Phil, your eyes burning as you try to put on the bravest face you can. You won’t let him have the satisfaction of knowing he’s getting to you, playing into your fears. 
“Unfortunately, that means I have to hurt you.” He stands up straight, staring down at you for a moment before pulling his fist back, hitting you across the face. 
You see stars for a moment, your head snapping to the side. The left side of your face is numb, the taste of metal flooding over your tongue. You’re bleeding, blood pooling in your mouth. A hand grips your chin, pulling you back so you’re sitting up straight in the chair. You stare up at Phil, the fear fading away to anger as you glare up at him. Your face is throbbing, and you know it’s going to swell and bruise later, more than it already has thanks to Corporal McKinney. 
Traitorous bastard. 
They all are. 
“I do feel bad for hurting that pretty face.” He says, stroking your jaw with his thumb. 
The movement is impulsive, the anger becoming too much. You spit the blood in your mouth in his face, the droplets splattering across his skin. He turns his head away for a moment, bringing his other hand up to wipe at the blood. 
“That wasn’t very nice.” He says, looking down at you. 
“Fuck you, you fucking creep!” You yell, kicking at him with your bad leg. 
He releases your face, catching your leg easily. He pushes his thumb against the bullet wound, all the fight leaving you as pain tears through your body. You let out a scream, trying to pull your leg away but he won’t let you. He holds his thumb there as you scream, the tears streaming down your face. 
“Okay, okay please! Please stop!” You beg, the pain radiating up into your hip and side. You can’t take it anymore, your brain starting to go fuzzy as you hyperventilate. 
He releases your leg, his hand wrapping around your throat to lift your face. The tears are streaming down your cheeks, mixing with the blood from the cut on your cheek. There’s no sympathy, not even regret in his eyes as he stares down at you. 
“I don’t want to hurt you, but if you can’t behave, I’ll have to do just that.” He releases you as you continue to hyperventilate, your eyes starting to glaze. You’re distressing. Will Phil help you? Will he do what he has to do to keep you alive? If you die, there won’t be anything stopping your pack. The entire plan will be over. They’ll go after Shepherd, then they’ll hunt down Phil. 
Cold ice water hits you in the face, shocking you back into clarity. Phil is holding the cup of water he’d been letting you drink from periodically. You blink at him as water drips into your eyes, your breaths hitching but far slower than they had been. You’re awake and aware now. 
You didn’t even know it was possible to do that. 
“Don’t distress on me now.” He says, putting the cup down. “We have so much ahead of us.” He moves around to the back of your chair, bending down until his breath hits your ear. “Besides, you make me help you out of distress, I might not be able to stop myself.” 
Your eyes pinch closed as his lips brush the shell of your ear before he stands back up, tears mixing with the icy water still sliding down your face. 
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Christine nearly runs down the ramp once the plane has stopped on the runway. She’s jet lagged and worn out after eight hours of worrying, but she’s eager not only to finally get some news on you and your status, but to see her brother for the first time in a long time. 
It’s not hard to find him. 
“Chrissy!” He grins, hugging her tightly. 
She has half a mind to complain about the nickname she’d endured her entire childhood, but she can’t find it in her as she hugs her brother tightly. She’s missed him, more than she realized. Their jobs have kept them busy, her with her medical studies and practice, and Alex with...whatever it is he does. 
“It’s been far too long.” She says, pulling away from him. She’d love to stand there and hug him for an hour, but she can’t. They have more important things to do. Time is of the essence, if her worst fears are true. 
“A lot has happened, a lot has changed.” He says. 
She looks him over, spotting the more noticeable changes in comparison to the last time they were face to face. “You could say that.” 
“We can talk about it later.” He turns to the other person with him, a woman. “Christine, this is Farah.” He introduces her. “Farah, this is my baby sister Christine.” 
“Nice to meet you.” Farah says, shaking her hand. 
“You as well.” Christine looks between them for a moment. She knows that look in Alex’s eyes as he looks at Farah. 
“We should get moving.” Farah says, ignoring him. 
“Laswell has moved off the grid.” Alex says, opening the driver’s side of the SUV. 
Smart, if things are as bad as she thinks they are. 
Christine gets into the back, letting out a long breath. She’s closer now to finding out what’s happened to you. The guilt is still eating her alive. If she just hadn’t left, if she hadn’t believed the phone call, put it above your safety. 
Things might have been worse if she had stayed. 
“Kate filled us in about everything.” Alex says as he drives away from the airfield. “At least in regards to the pack and your involvement.” 
“There’s some things she’s not telling us.” Farah says. “Though if things are as bad as they sound, I don’t blame her.” 
“I don’t know much of anything.” Christine says, staring out the window as they drive out of the city. “I feel like it’s my fault. If I hadn’t left her alone...” 
“It’s hardly your fault.” Alex says, glancing at her in the rearview mirror. “If this was all planned, there wouldn’t have been anything that would stop it from happening.” 
“They might have done worse if you had stayed there.” Farah says, speaking Christine’s own fears aloud. 
“I wish I could see her. Make sure she’s alright.” Christine says. “If something happens to her...” 
“From what I hear she’s a hardy omega.” Alex says, trying to comfort her. “She’s withstood a lot. She can survive the 141, she’s probably giving them hell as we speak.” 
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**Content Warnings: light torture, choking to the point of almost passing out, blood, very detailed descriptions of pain, non-fatal stabbing**
It’s getting hard to breathe. Phil’s grip around your throat is getting tighter and tighter, less and less oxygen getting to your bloodstream and your brain. Your mouth has an almost permanent metallic taste as blood drips down your chin. Blood stains Phil’s arm from where you bit him, teeth marks red and angry looking from where they broke the skin. 
“You fucking bitch.” He growls, jaw clenched. “Your alpha should have taught you some manners.” 
His hand squeezes tighter, cutting the air off entirely. You begin to panic, tugging against the restrains with your raw, cut up wrists. Black dots begin to dance in your vision, your legs straining against the zip ties keeping them attached to the chair. Your hands and feet are going numb, your entire body tingling. This is it. You’re going to be choked to death. 
He holds his hand there for a moment, letting you struggle before he lets go and you suck in a gasp of air. You slump over in the chair, blood splattering on the floor as you cough, your throat raw and sore. Tears burn in your eyes as you heave, trying to get the oxygen flowing through your body again. 
Phil bends down to your level as you sit there, head hanging as blood drips from your mouth. Your tongue is raw from how many times you’ve bitten it. It’s impossible to tell how much time has really passed. There’s no windows in the room. The only light source is the cracks around the door behind you. Even then with the bright light in your face constantly, it’s hard to tell anything anymore. 
“Feisty still, but everyone has their limits.” His hand cups your chin as he stands, lifting your face to follow him. His hand holds the back of your head up as he wipes at the blood under your nose and on your chin almost gently. 
Tears stream down your cheeks as you stare up at him, unable to even care anymore that his hand is so close to your neck. All he has to do is move it down just slightly and squeeze and you’ll be unaware of anything around you, at the mercy of his bidding. 
That would almost be a relief. 
He dumps another icy cup of water over your head, keeping you from slipping too much into a panic. The cold water stings the cut on your chest and the one on your arm as it slides down your shoulders. You’ve lost the ability to feel the throbbing in your calf, numb to most of the pain in your body. 
Why haven’t they come for you? Where is your pack? 
Have they written you off for good? Was finding Shepherd more important than you? 
Phil’s phone goes off, your stomach dropping. He stares at the screen for a second before turning back to you. 
You shake your head, the tears cascading down your cheeks. “No,” You start to shake. “No, please-” 
“You know I have to, darlin’.” He moves behind you, tugging on your hair to keep your head up as one of his men stands in front of you with a phone in hand. 
He counts down on his fingers before pressing record. 
“Seems you boys still can’t follow orders. Your omega sure wishes you would.” Phil says as he reaches around your head, holding your chin in his hand. He tilts your head back making you look up at him. “Don’t you, darlin’. Tell them. Tell them how much you wish they’d follow orders.” 
You’re still crying, unable to stop as you stare at the camera. They really have given up on you. They’ve deemed you unworthy of saving. They’ve let you sit here and be beat up and tortured all because they put the job first. 
They really have given up on you. 
Are they even watching? 
“Please,” You croak out, half begging your pack to care, half begging Phil to have mercy. 
“Since you can’t seem to bring yourselves to care about your own omega,” He shifts slightly, someone handing him something behind you. You catch a glint of metal, your heart rate picking up. You’re panicking, breaths coming in shaky gasps. You know he can do worse. He’s threatened worse, but what is he going to do? “It seems you need a little more...motivation.” 
You try to wiggle out of his grasp in panic, wrists bleeding again from tugging at the zip ties. They’re coated in your blood, your leg throbbing but you don’t care. You need to get away, get free. “No, no-”
You let out a scream. 
It’s sharp and piercing, but nowhere near the sharp pain in your neck. It fires through your very nerve endings, making you aware of the very cells in your body. It shoots up into your brain, igniting every neuron in your brain. Your very blood feels like it’s boiling, your skin on fire from the pain. Every inhale feels like you’re breathing in sand, and every exhale is like glass shards dragging through your lungs and up your throat. The tears streaming down your face may as well be slicing through layers of skin, every wound pulsing and throbbing with a new kind of angry vengeance. 
You’re sobbing, nearly choking on air as the pain continues to pulse in your body. It’s too much, every sensation inside and outside of your body meshing together in an agonizing harmony. 
“Shhh.” Phil tries to shush you as he bends down, his cheek resting against the side of your head. “I know, I know. You’ll be alright.” He presses a kiss to the side of your head before letting you go limp in the chair. 
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Your scream still hangs in the air even after the video ends. 
It’s otherwise silent in the room, all eight of them feeling the weight of their decisions on their shoulders. The scents in the air are full of pain and regret and guilt and anger. 
“Was that fatal?” Kate asks, breaking the tense silence. 
“No.” Christine chokes out, her voice shaky. Her hands are trembling where they’re tucked against her sides. Her arms are crossed over her chest, trying to bring herself some kind of comfort after what she had just watched. “He went for the scent gland. It’s not a fatal injury, unless you go too deep, but he knew what he was doing.” She swallows the lump in her throat. “It’s just incredibly painful.” 
Her words hang in the air for a moment, all of them still trying to process what they had just seen. 
John slams his hands on the table, all of them jumping. “I fucking told you.” He says, his voice laced with the deep growl of his alpha. “I fucking told you Kate, she should have been flown out here as soon as you made the call.” 
“I know.” Kate says, undeterred by his anger. She’s seen it many times, though she’s rarely been on the receiving end of it. “I know, I made a bad call. None of us knew they would take it this far.” 
“But we knew something was going on behind the scenes.” John says, still radiating anger. “All precautions should have been taken.” 
“There was no guarantee her being here would have stopped them. She might not have been any safer here.” Kate says, trying to ease his anger, even though she knows it’s completely warranted. “This goes far deeper than we thought it did. Even before this plan was set into motion.” She waits a moment, letting the air settle. “A year ago, a convoy was smuggling missiles and other weapons into the Middle East in an off-the-books operation. The convoy was attacked and the missiles and arms were stolen by a Russian PMC group. The operation was conducted under the command of Shepherd, and the soldiers in the convoy were all Shadow Company.” 
“That’s how Graves is tied into this.” Kyle says. 
“It goes deeper than that.” Kate says, pulling up a file and displaying it on screen. “The missiles and weapons being smuggled weren’t being sent to aid allies in the Middle East. Shepherd sold them to AQ and the Russians. The PMC group that attacked Shadow Company was hired by Shepherd to make it look like an ambush.” 
“Fucking weasel.” Simon growls. 
“I don’t know how much Graves knows, or how much he helped hide the entire operation, but his ties to this go even deeper.” Kate says, and they all shift closer. “Graves has history with your omega.” She says, pulling up an old photo. “We combed through one of her brothers’ Facebook pages. Found an old photo of her dad with Graves. They served on the same base when her family lived in Texas before Graves left to join MARSOC. She would have still been a child at the time.” 
They stare at the photo, Graves clearly identifiable as he stands next to another man, beers in their hands. There’s two other boys in the photo, young and grinning at the camera. Standing in front of Graves is a little girl, a happy grin on her face. They’re all in various combinations of red, white, and blue. 
4th of July, they assume. 
“That’s how she got into the institute so fast.” John says, staring at the photo. He’s never seen a photo of your father before. You must take after your mother. “Graves pulled the strings.” 
Kate nods. “He did, but under the condition he would be the one to claim her when she grew old enough. The CIA wiped out that claim when they froze her file.” 
The 141 all shift on their feet, sharing looks. John feels a sick twisting in his stomach at the implications. Your position in the photo suddenly makes sense. Anger burns in him, deep and bubbling like magma. He’ll kill the bastard. 
“This is revenge then.” Johnny says. 
“In a way, I think.” Kate says. “We took away what he wanted. Graves wasn’t going to pass up this opportunity. He’s not afraid to get his hands dirty.” 
“This all is what the initiative was created for.” Christine says, leaning against the table. “A contingency in case this all was uncovered.” 
“A way to control us.” Kyle says. 
Kate nods. “Yes. It was all a plan to give the 141 a weakness, a way to be controlled should the situation arise. In this case it just so happened to be the uncovering of his traitorous arms deals.” 
“We were all pawns in this.” Christine says. 
“We let them walk right in and take control like that.” John says, turning to Christine. “You let them walk in and take our omega.” 
She turns to face him, undeterred by his agitation and anger. “I did what I thought was right at the time. I got a call from one of the front desk workers in the med center saying that someone was waiting in my office for me.” She explains. “They wouldn’t say who it was, and the whole thing felt off. I knew whoever would be visiting me was not going to be friendly, so I felt it was safer to leave her in the barracks than take her with me and risk something happening in a place she doesn’t know well. In the barracks at least she’d know places to hide and barricade herself.” 
She takes a deep breath, still facing down John fearlessly. He’s coiled tight like a spring, ready to jump at any moment should he deem it necessary. It’s those protective instincts, the knowledge that his omega is somewhere else, taken unwillingly and being tortured feeding into that need to fight. 
“My office door was open when I got there.” She continues. “I always leave it locked. I went in prepared to fight, but I was attacked from behind. Hit over the head and drugged with something fast acting, something that would keep me incapacitated long enough for him to strike.” She stares up into his eyes, projecting her scent just a bit to try and get him to calm down. “We all made mistakes here, things we thought were the right choice at the time.” 
She’s not wrong. They all know it. They had just seen proof of it.  
“The assailant?” John asks, turning back to Kate. 
“Corporal McKinney.” Kate says. “He was in Shepherd’s pocket from the start. Someone who could watch first-hand. Someone who could sneak into the barracks unnoticed without many questions. He was likely the one that put the cameras up.” 
“Fucking wanker.” Simon growls. “He approached her once in the mess. Early on. Tried to introduce himself to her. Backed off as soon as I intervened. Never tried again, at least that we know of.” 
“She never mentioned him.” Christine says. “Or anyone else on base that might have tried to approach her.” 
“Where is he now?” Kyle asks. They’re all angry, frustrated. How had they not seen this happening? 
“Local police tracked his car to an abandoned airfield not far outside of Hereford.” Kate says. “He was dead inside. Police ruled it suicide.” 
“I’m sure it was.” John says. 
They all know it wasn’t. 
“Shadow Company likely picked her up from there with orders to stage a suicide.” Kate says. 
“One less loose string to worry about.” Simon says. “Covers their tracks in England.” 
They all go quiet. How this had all happened right under their noses? They’re all guilty of falling for it, for being too trusting in a world they know they can’t be too careful in. Allies can turn on a dime and become enemies. Betrayals can be easily bought. Things can turn downhill within a blink of an eye. They’re supposed to be prepared for the worst, ready for every possibility. 
They had written this off as a conspiracy, and now their omega is paying for it. 
“We need a plan.” Farah says, breaking the silence. 
“We can’t let Shepherd get away.” John says. 
“We cannae just leave her.” Johnny argues against his alpha. It’s a brave thing, considering his alpha’s current mental state.  
“I don’t know how much more she can take.” Simon backs his beta up, the desperation and pain on your face still visible in all of their minds. 
“Let us go after Shepherd.” Alex says, offering up a solution. “He’s obviously watching for you to come after him.” 
“We can move undetected.” Farah agrees. “He’s less likely to expect us. You need to focus on your omega. Shepherd will show himself again eventually.” 
“Do we have a lead on their location?” Kyle asks, turning back to Kate. 
She nods. “We do now. I sent a team out to try and track location through the videos and where they were being sent from.” She pulls a map up on screen. “We have a location.” 
“Texas.” Alex says. 
“He took her home.” Christine says. 
“We have a plan then. We go after Graves, Farah and Alex start tracking Shepherd. Kate is eyes in the sky for us.” John says. 
“She’s going to need medical attention as soon as possible.” Christine says. She looks at Kate. “Where is the nearest military base from their location?” 
Kate types on her computer. “Naval Air Station Joint Reserve Base in Fort Worth.” 
“Get me there and I’ll be waiting. She’s going to need someone she knows.” She says, looking at John. “She’s not going to just let anyone close to her after this. She may not even let you close.” 
John stares down at her for a long moment. She stares back unflinchingly. She doesn’t get intimidated easily, not after years of dealing with institutes and alphas alike. 
He lets out a breath, staring down at her for a long moment before he nods. “I trust you.” 
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“Short reunion this time.” 
“I’m just glad I got to see your face again.” Christine says, looking up at Alex. 
“Things are...complicated.” He says. “Maybe after all of this is over we can go and get some coffee. Talk about our lives...as much as we can.” 
The corner of her mouth twitches up in a smile. “I’ll hold you to that.” 
Alex pulls her into a hug, holding her tightly. “You’re doing good work, Chrissy.” 
She shakes her head at the nickname, but she holds him just as tightly. “I’m trying to.” 
Alex pulls away, squeezing her arms. “I’d say you are. You care a lot. To the point some might call it a character defect.” 
She scoffs, slapping his chest playfully. “Not like you’re much better.” She glances at the car where Farah is waiting patiently. “I’m happy for you.” 
“Oh, we’re....” Alex blushes to his ears. “We’re not...” 
She gives him a look. “Mhm sure.” She looks up at him one more time. “Be safe.” 
“As best I can.” He says. “Take care of yourself. Don’t be too hard on yourself either.” 
“I try not to be.” She squeezes his hand before stepping away. 
She watches the SUV drive off, stomach churning with nerves for both of them. Shepherd is dangerous, but Alex has fearlessly faced down danger since he was a kid. He’s always been brave and determined, loyal and unafraid to do what he thinks is right no matter what. She trusts him to take care of himself, she trusts Farah to help him, even if she only met the woman today. 
She trusts them both to take care of each other. She trusts them both to help put an end to this. 
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**Content Warning: Blood, vomiting, 'mega forces herself into a panic attack**
Your body aches, muscles screaming. You can’t take much more. Your cheek throbs painfully, swollen to the point you almost can’t see out of your left eye. The pain burning from your neck makes the other pain in your body nearly irrelevant, nearly nonexistent. It’s like electricity, burning through your very cells. Every movement seems to make it flare, makes the electric shock jolt through you. The burning pain that follows makes you whimper, a pathetic choking sound squeaking out from your bruised throat. 
The pain makes you nauseous, vomit staining the front of your shirt and pants. It’s mostly bile and the little food you’ve gotten since your kidnapping. 
Nutrient bars, meant to keep you fed and nourished for a short period of time. 
You may never be able to eat them again. 
“Fuck.” Graves curses, staring at his phone. “They’ve backed off.” He steps up to you, looking down on your pathetic form. “Looks like your boys do care about you after all.” 
Do they? Are they really coming for you, or have they simply given up chasing Shepherd because they lost all their leads. Will they come for you, or will they leave you here to rot? What will Graves do then? Try to take you as his own omega? Kill you out of anger? 
Your stomach churns and you can feel the bile rising. 
You vomit again, the warm liquid splashing into your lap. You can’t lean far enough anymore, not without the risk of not being able to pull yourself back up, not with the pain burning your every movement. You can’t even lift your head anymore, your body weak and battered and bruised. There’s blood everywhere, on you and on the floor. You can still taste it in your mouth, mixing with the sourness of bile. 
Graves gives you a disgusted look before turning to the others in the room. “Duran, Lewis, keep watch. The rest of you come with me.” 
He leaves the room for the first time in what you assume is days. For once the cocktail of scents begins to disperse, all but two of the alphas finally disappearing. Where they’re going or what they’re going to do, you don’t know. You can’t bring yourself to care either way. You just want to go home. You want to see your mother again, your brothers and sisters, even your father would be a welcome sight after this. You want your alpha, you want him to hold you, to take you in his arms, keep you safe.
He abandoned you. He left you to suffer like this. 
Your breathing picks up as you sit there, chin to chest as you stare at your bloody shirt. The smells in the room are awful, the scents no longer there to block out the sour bile and metallic stench blood. Tears are streaming down your cheeks, pink tinted splatters dripping onto your pants. What are you going to do now? What are they going to do to you now? Will they keep you alive long enough for your pack to arrive then kill you in front of them? Will they torture them too, make them watch as the life slowly leaves your eyes in revenge for chasing after Shepherd? 
A sob rips through your sore throat up out of your lips. 
You just want to go home. 
You just want to be free. 
You can be. 
Distress. The final defense. The last ditch effort omegas have to save themselves. Distress will lead to your omega taking over, and if nothing else, a quiet death you won’t even realize is happening. Your body will give out and you’ll be safely tucked into the back of your brain, comforted by your instincts. You won’t have to worry anymore. You won’t have to care. 
If nothing else, the pain will be over. 
I’m sorry. 
You begin to breathe heavier, ignoring the pain in your body as you push yourself to hyperventilate. The alphas behind you might do something, might try to stop it. They could, but would they even know how? Would it even work if you got too far? They’re not your alpha. They can’t comfort you, bring you back from the edge without forcing you. Will they even bother? 
You tilt your head to the side, putting pressure on your injured scent gland. You sob at the pain, the burning flowing straight into your very cells, making them scream. You push through it, your wrists twisting against the zip ties, digging them further into your already damaged wrists. The pain pushes you to a point of panic, your heart rate through the roof. You can feel it, the tightening of your muscles, your joints locking into place. 
You’ve never done it purposefully before, but in this state, it’s not hard. 
They left you. They’ve abandoned you. They’ve given up. It’s all your fault they left. They’re not coming for you. You’re not worth it. 
The thoughts send you down the spiral, the edges of your vision starting to go dark. You’re floating away, hands and feet going numb as your wheezing, shallow breaths block the oxygen from getting to your brain. You’re sinking, your body floating as you begin to retreat into the back of your mind. The cage is open, your omega soothing you as you drift off, curling up in the back recesses of your mind. 
You’re safe now. She whispers. 
There’s no going back. 
You’re going to get out. 
Even if you have to do it yourself. 
The last breath you remember taking is shaky, making you cough before your vision begins to fade to grey, then to black. You’re getting out of here no matter what. You’re going to go to sleep. If you fail, you’ll never know it. Your death will be quick and gentle and you’ll never know it happened until you’ve moved on to whatever is next. 
You won’t remember any of this. That’s your only consolation. 
Your vision fades to black as all memory and awareness leaves you. The last thing you remember is the snap of the zip ties around your wrists as they break. 
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“Graves has moved with some of his men to the western building. It’s likely the hostage is being held in the eastern building. Gaz and I will go after Graves. Ghost and Soap will try to secure the hostage.” 
“Keller is on her way to NAS JRB as we speak. They’re on standby for medevac.” 
“Stealth is our priority. They know we’re here, we risk losing the hostage. Quick and quiet, take them by surprise. The faster we do this, the sooner it will all be over.” 
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**Content Warning: blood and slight gore, someone gets shot offscreen, some gorey and explicit imagery towards the end**
He’s not unfamiliar with high stakes missions. It’s his specialty. He’s cool and calm under stress and pressure, which is why he gets chosen for them. He can detach easily, get the job done and then go home and forget. 
So why are his hands shaking? 
This isn’t a high stakes mission, not like one he’s used to doing. The stakes are higher, higher than he’s ever had before. It’s not just eliminating some faceless target, it’s not just rescuing some faceless hostage. 
It’s rescuing you. 
He hates that you were involved in all of this. He hates that they all fell for it, blind to the truth, blind to Shepherd’s traitorous actions. They refused to entertain those conspiratorial thoughts, and now you’re paying for it. He knows why Price made the decision he did, he understands the logic behind it. 
He hated it, though. 
How far would Graves have taken it if they had chosen to go after you first. Would things have gotten this bad? Or would he still have hurt you, tortured you just out of sheer anger for what happened between the two of you? He wouldn’t give up just because Shepherd told him to stop. He’s ruthless and uncaring of who he hurts and why. He gets his orders and he completes them, no matter what, so long as whoever is giving those orders can pay a high enough price. 
How much did he get for this assignment? How much did he settle for once he learned you were involved? 
Far too much despite that fact, most likely. Maybe he should become a merc. Less rules and more money.
It’s not a bad idea. 
He lasers his focus on the building as they creep through the trees, moving silently. Two against however many are inside. It was impossible to tell with how many were moving between the two buildings constantly. 
He brought the whole squad. He planned on putting up a fight regardless. 
At least they have the element of surprise on their hands. 
“We move silently through the building.” He says as they approach the door. There’s two guards standing outside. “They know we’re inside, things could go downhill quickly.” 
“On you, LT.” Johnny says, taking point beside him. 
“Drop one, I’ll take the other.” He says, aiming at one of the two Shadows guarding the door. 
It’s quick and quiet, their bodies slumping onto the damp dirt. Simon scans the area before moving forward to the door. It’s unlocked, Johnny pushing it open slowly to check for a trip wire. 
None. 
Sloppy, or perhaps on purpose. They can’t be too careful. Shepherd will have let Graves know they’re not on his trail anymore. He’ll be expecting them. 
They split up, combing the bottom floor of the building. He takes out two more Shadows, checking every room for a sign of their target, but they find none. 
“Second floor.” He says, waiting at the base of the stairwell for Johnny to join him. 
“You think she’s in here?” Johnny asks as they creep up the stairs, careful not to make too much noise. 
“Well, we’ll find out.” 
It’s far too unguarded to where they’re holding you. Graves will have assumed they’d split up. He must have moved most of his men to the western building to put up as much of a barricade as possible. He can picture Graves standing there, the smirk on his face as he holds a gun to your head. Will he take that risk, shoot you in front of them and give them nothing to live for? Or will he use a knife, letting you die a slow, painful death in front of them? 
Or, maybe he moved them to the western building to make them think that’s where you are. Focus their attacks there so they leave you behind. He gets cornered, he send the word to kill you before any of them can get to you. 
More red herrings. 
He pauses before he reaches the top of the steps, taking out the shadow standing down the hallway. They split up again, looking through rooms at the top of the stairs, making their way down the hallway. 
One of the doors is open, and he silently motions for Johnny. He counts down silently in his head before rounding the corner, rifle up as he scans the room. His stomach churns as he looks inside, taking a couple cautious steps forward. He’s seen a lot of things in his time, done a lot of things, but this is different. 
“Screaming Jesus.” Johnny says, lowering his rifle as he steps in behind Simon. 
There’s blood everywhere. 
It’s coating the floors, leaving a sticky residue as it dries. It’s the room you were in. He recognizes it from the video, and the bright light in the corner is a dead giveaway. The chair in the middle of the room has been broken, the wood of the arms snapped off and splintered. There’s four bloody zip ties on the floor, along with several instruments on the floor including the ice pick. 
He wants to shove that into Graves’ eye for what he did to you. 
There’s two bodies on the floor, one of them dead in a pool of his own blood, the other choking as blood seeps onto the floor under him. He steps up to the shadow, putting his boot on his chest and pushing. The Shadow lets out a groan, coughing up blood. 
“Where the fuck is she?” He growls, staring down at the quickly paling face. 
“Fucking bitch went crazy.” He chokes out. “Went running.” 
Simon steps back, pulling out his handgun and firing two bullets into the Shadow’s head. 
“Price, we found the room.” He says into his comm. “The hostage isn’t here. A half-dead Shadow said she bolted.” 
“LT.” Johnny says, motioning to the door, the only other exit from the room. There’s a bloody handprint on the door, one too small to be one of the Shadows’. 
“I think she managed to get out.” He says, staring at the handprint. His stomach drops, his hand tightening around his rifle. He glances down at the bodies, throats cut and faces bloody. “I think her omega took over.” 
“You and Soap go after her. She’ll do the one thing she knows to do, the one instinctual thing she can do if she has nothing to fight.” Price says. “We’ve got Graves cornered.” 
Simon pushes the door open, cool air flowing into the stuffy room. There’s bloody shoe prints heading down the stairs. He can see the rapid turn on the concrete below before they head off towards the trees. 
“I’ve got a trail.” He says. 
“Go.” Price says. “Simon...you know what you have to do.” 
He does.
He motions for Johnny to follow before hurrying down the stairs. The longer they delay, the further you’ll get. He doesn’t doubt some Shadows followed you if you made that much of a ruckus. The more time they waste, the more dangerous things get, and not just because they might lose you or the shadows might catch up. 
He races towards the treeline, rifle in hand, but there’s no one else standing guard. Price and Gaz will have taken care of those in the other building, and those that were outside probably went after you. 
He slows once they break the treeline, trying to catch any hint of your scent that might be left. His only hope is that you’ve left a trail. He’s a tracker, he knows what he’s doing. His senses are stronger, more in tune. He can find you. He can track you down. He has to. 
The guilt is eating him alive. If something happens to you, he’ll never forgive himself. He’s right here, so close and yet so far. You’re running on borrowed time and there’s only so much of it left. Eventually you have to slow, eventually your body will start giving up. Will it be too late then? If a Shadow finds you when you can’t fight back...
“Dead Shadow ahead.” Johnny says, motioning to the slumped over body ahead of them. “We’re on the trail.” 
“Let’s hope she left more markers on the way.” He says, kicking the Shadow, but the stab wound in his neck is all Simon needs to know. “Keep going straight.” He says, continuing on the path they’ve been following. He needs just a whiff, a hint of your scent. Something. 
They come across another dead Shadow, this one off to the side of the path they had been following. He turns, making an adjustment before moving forward. Johnny keeps close, both of them watching for more Shadows, or for any glimpse of you. All they can hope is they’re on the right path. 
He nearly sets off in a run as he hears a sound ahead. It’s a yowl, almost like a mountain lion. It sends a tingle down his back, his alpha blaring warning alarms. A threatened omega is a dangerous thing. Fierce and protective of themselves, capable of great feats and lethal if you get too close. 
It’s you, no doubt. 
Price had been right. 
He has no choice. 
He pushes forward, his steps quick as he makes his way through the bushes. He spots you near a boulder, trying to fight off a Shadow. He’s got the upper hand, using his size against you. You’re getting tired, your movements slowing. Simon aims with his rifle, a shot to the head dropping the Shadow. You drop into a crouch, surveying the trees. You’re covered in blood, a knife in your hand as your wild eyes search for them. 
“Distract her.” He says to Johnny. “Make yourself as unthreatening as possible. I’ll go around and get her from behind.” 
He doesn’t even wait for an acknowledgement before he’s moving, slipping around to the side of the boulder. Johnny steps into the clearing slowly, holding his hands up, talking to you quietly.
“Easy, kitten. Ye know who I am.” Johnny is careful not to get too close, his steps slow as he moves to the side, getting you to turn. “We’re just here to help ye. Get ye home and safe.” 
You’re holding the knife up, brandishing it at Johnny. Simon isn’t sure if you’ve ever thrown a knife before, but he doesn’t put it past you to try in this state. 
He hopes Johnny’s reflexes are fast enough. 
He slips out from behind the boulder as you pause, wasting no time as he races up behind you and grabbing you before you can bolt or go for Johnny’s neck. You let out another yowl, struggling against him as he wraps an arm around your chest. Your teeth sink into his arm and he lets out a curse, but he doesn’t let go. He lets go, they won’t get another chance. It’ll be too late. 
He doesn't want to do it. His mind flashes back to his father and mother, one of the few times his mother fought back. It hadn’t lasted long before her body went limp, practically a ragdoll in his father’s hold. Simon had grabbed Tommy and ran, barricading them in his room. They didn’t want to see what was going to happen next. 
He doesn’t want that kind of control over you, he doesn’t want to put you through that trauma. The disorientation, the fear, the confusion. That must have been what it felt like after being sedated during your heat. You had been sick for days, crying in Johnny’s room. He had heard every sob, every attempt to soothe you. 
He put you through that. He made you face that down despite the fear on your face as Johnny escorted you to the med center. 
And now he has to do it again. 
He has to this time. He has no choice. His only other option is to let you die. Price will never forgive him. Johnny won’t even look at him again. He’d betray them worse than you did, worse than Shepherd, worse than Graves. 
You never really betrayed them in the first place, though. 
You were afraid, untrusting of them, unsure because of your past. He had been foolish to blame you, foolish to think it was somehow your fault. You acted out of fear, out of terror. How you must have felt in those moments when that beta showed up, when you faced down Shepherd alone, when you returned to find your space invaded and those cameras all over your room. They weren’t there to protect you, they weren’t there to support you. They left you alone and you hid it from them because you didn’t know any better, because you were so afraid. 
He’s a goddamn fucking prick he’s been. 
Tears blur his vision as he tucks his free arm behind you, shifting your position just enough so he can get his hand around the back of your neck. You kick out with your legs, releasing his arm, your head tilting back in a last ditch, instinctual effort to protect yourself. 
His eyes squeeze closed as you let out a yelp, his fingers digging into the back of your neck. It’s hard enough it will leave a bruise, but he has to be sure. It’s the only thing that might save you. It’s his only option, his only chance to keep you alive. 
“There you go.” He says quietly into your ear. “Need you to relax for me.” 
Your body goes limp in his hold, head resting back against his hand as he holds you there. Your muscles twitch as the tension leaves you, eyelids fluttering before they close. His arm stings where your teeth had sunk into his skin, hard enough to draw blood, but he doesn’t care. 
“Keep resting.” He says, easing his hand from the back of your neck as he shifts you in his arms. “Gonna get you somewhere safe.” 
You’re like a ragdoll in his arms as he lifts you up, cradling you against his chest. You’re warm, hair sticking to your forehead. 
“Call it in.” He tells Johnny, his eyes still glued to your face. “We need that medevac now.” 
“Price, we got her.” Johnny says into his comm. “We need medevac stat.” 
You look so peaceful despite the blood soaking your body. Partially yours, partially the Shadows you killed in your escape. You look like a gruesome painting, a gorey depiction of an omega pushed too far. Something they’d put on display in a museum, a photo that would win prizes in celebration of such a natural state caught on camera. It would be circulated for decades, something talked about centuries from now. 
A raw view of humanity’s inner beasts. 
He can’t stand it, seeing you like this. They did this to you. They are the reason you’re like this. They made the bad call in the end, they put you through this. You won’t forgive them, not after everything. You went weeks without them, without a word and then this happened. Innocence tainted in the blood of the guilty. The bloodstained omega held in the arms of the blood-tainted alpha. He should be the one covered in their blood. He should be the one carrying the weight of torture and desperation on his shoulders. 
The guardian dog covered in blood in the name of protecting his innocent sheep. 
How he’s failed you. How they all failed you. 
He pushes past the pain, past the grief, past the guilt and the horror of what they did to you, what they put you through. 
They’ve got you back. You’re safe. 
It’s over. 
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