#from dust to ashes

[clickerflight]

Voltober 15. The Ones Who've Hurt You - From Dust to Ashes

Author's notes: Welcome to me playing with a man's trauma for all of our enjoyment!

Challenges Masterlist - Voltober 14

Content: human whumpee, traumatized whumpee, fear, seeing whumper in public, caretaker protecc!

@voltober

Seeing Whumper on the Street | “This is for __” | Whumper Turned Whumpee

Kyle allowed himself to be cajoled out to the store with Joseph more and more these days. It was getting bad for his wallet and he had no idea how Joseph managed to keep up his own funds, but he wasn’t too upset about it. He had finished his degree and had a good position in anthropology circles. He could always find a place willing to pay him to speak if he needed some extra cash.

Joseph was chatting at him as they pulled up to the grocery store and Kyle checked his shopping list to see if he needed anything. He had already bought everything he needed on Monday, so this would mostly just be a snack run for him.

“And I’m thinking of doing this whole roast like my grandma used to do. Thing is, Muir doesn’t really like beef, but I think there will be plenty of sides to keep him happy, and if he’s still hungry he can make himself a sandwich because I’m getting my roast dang it! Would you like to join us for that?”

“Sure,” Kyle said, putting his phone away.

They got out of the car and walked toward the store, Joseph planning out loud what they would need.

They got inside and Joseph was immediately distracted in the juice section.

Kyle looked around, feeling a little out of his body. He had spent all day reading a book written by an ancient vampire about life and the things she had seen and was still feeling a little unreal as Joseph had stirred him out of his book very suddenly before whisking him off to the store.

He tried too bring his mind to the present, shaking his head a little and murmuring to Joseph that he was going to look at the snacks.

The store was pretty quiet as it was a bit too late in the evening for humans to want to be going to the store but still too bright and warm for most vampires to want to be out and about either. Not that Joseph cared either way.

Kyle walked into the snack aisle, looking over the cookies and candies the story had to offer.

He picked out a couple packs and then paused and put one back. He should probably find a healthier snack. Maybe baby carrots?

He left the aisle and rounded a corner to the vegetable and fruits section, glancing over the crowd.

His chest gave an involuntary pang where he had been shot about three years ago and he rubbed at it nonchalantly until he realized what had brought the memory back.

There was a woman, her hair much shorter than it once was, older, sadder, and wearing baggy clothing picking through the fruit.

Joanna. Joanna was standing there in the same store as Kyle. The woman who had shot him was OUT OF JAIL! He knew that she had gotten a light sentencing because people didn’t take the pain of vampires that seriously so they didn’t really punish her much for what she did to Esial, but she’d also shot him! And Kyle was human. Why was she out so soon? Why hadn’t he been notified? Had she escaped from prison? There was no way she’d be here just looking through the apples if she’d escaped prison. Was there?

She looked up and her eyes locked with Kyle’s wide ones.

Kyle didn’t even see her reaction to him, turning and bolting, dropping the cookies he had grabbed in his desperate search for Joseph. Joseph had the keys. They needed to get out and drive away very very fast. He needed to get away from here and call the police.

He awkwardly tried to get his phone out of his back pocket while sprinting through the store. He found Joseph and practically crashed into him, grabbing his arm. “We have to get out of here,” he gasped, shaky fingers trying to dial 911.

“Woah, calm down! What’s going on-”

“Joanna!” Kyle croaked. “She’s here!”

“Here?” Joseph asked, a rare look of rage darkened his face. “You’re sure?”

“I am! Let’s go please!”

Joseph nodded and, after a regretful look at his cart, abandoned it. Kyle felt rather touched by the gesture. Joseph would never abandon his cart for anything he didn’t consider serious.

Joseph and Kyle made their way toward the entrance, pausing only to apologize to an employee for abandoning the cart, before they made it to the exit.

The only issue was Joanna had the same thought.

The three froze and Kyle stood stunned as Joseph got in front of him, baring his fangs at Joanna. “What are you doing here!?”

The people nearby froze, surprised by the sudden aggression from a vampire in public.

Joanna put her hands up quickly. “I’m leaving.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be in jail?” Joseph snarled, drawing the attention of more customers. Security would likely be there soon.

“I’m out on probation for good behavior,” she said quickly. “I’m leaving. I’m going. I’m sorry.”

“You should be!” Joseph practically spat.

He watched as she darted out and he relaxed with a sigh.

He turned to Kyle and put a hand on his arm. “Are you alright?”

Kyle nodded numbly as security got there.

Joseph explained the situation to the men and was given the permission to keep shopping so they wouldn’t have to go out and maybe see Joanna in the parking lot.

As they returned to the cart, Kyle stared at the items Joseph had collected inside for a long moment before he asked, “Do you think Muir would be annoyed if I stay the night at your guys’ place?”

“No, not at all. Especially after all that,” Joseph said, annoyance in his tone for the situation, not at Kyle.

Kyle relaxed a little and nodded. “I’m not sure if I’ll get much sleep.”

Joseph’s expression softened and he stepped around the cart, pulling Kyle into a hug.

Kyle hesitantly hugged him back, embarrassed about doing so in public, but relieved nonetheless.

“We’re always going to have your back, man. Don’t be afraid to ask,” Joseph told him before leaning back and smiling up at him. “Now, do you want to help me with my list?”

Kyle sighed, smiling shakily. “Yeah. I’d love to.”

VTB Part 16

FDTA Masterlist

From Dust to Ashes Taglist: @whumpsday @honeycollectswhump @writereleaserepeat @tragedyinblue @hyrules-sleepiest-knight 

@why-not-ask-me-a-better-question @thecyrulik @gt-daboss @currentlyinthespiral @pigeonwhumps @not-a-space-alien

[lucdoodle]

was learning how to draw maskless adam

[reineydraws]

mishanks sketch dump bc ive been doodling them to de-stress or when i need a break from other pieces lately ✨️

[druidshollow]

sorry its. literally. always this guy

[yourlocalabomination]

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust.

[akystaracer22]

Free the Bird from its Gilded Cage

Synopsis: Lucifer would tell anyone who asked his greatest regret was letting humanity eat the apple. Better than admitting what he really regretted.

Notes

Golly gee good thing affairs didn’t exist back then huh!

In which Lucifer’s tism hurts his best friend, the fic.

I think I can tag this as Edenpoly considering the conversation between Lucifer and Lilith.

I give my greatest thanks to my good friend Hat who uttered the phrase “I raise a glass to the friend you could have been and drink to the monster you became” (Or something of the sort) which has not left my brain 2 years later.

No shade on other people’s depictions of the ancient archangels. I love good archangels as much as you guys but… this is very much bashing.

I’m so sorry Michael. And Azrael, and every single angel who’s characters I butcher in this AU. It’s not you guys I swear.

God on the other hand fuck you I’m not sorry.

I have been told by many people irl that I have religious trauma. I didn’t think I did but fuck it we ball.

I am so sorry this came out late but I had two assignments and I'm moving houses, I'll try not to have a repeat.

Word count: 1957

Fic under cut!

Lucifer felt Lilith before he saw her, the first woman’s aura screaming frustration and hurt louder than the tears in her eyes.

She was sitting under an aspen tree with her legs tucked to her chest.

Lucifer didn’t need to guess why she was upset; it could really only be one thing these days.

“Adam did something again, didn’t he.”

Lilith huffed and lifted her head to meet Lucifer’s gaze, “We fought, again. He still doesn’t get it.”

Lucifer sighed and sat down next to the first woman, not for the first time the little voice in his head bemoaned Adams chronic inability to listen to anyone other than God. It was really starting to cause problems in Eden.

“He’ll regret it.”

“He always does, but he still does it.”

Lucifer nodded, “He needs to learn that God isn’t right about everything,” His siblings would murder him if they knew he was spreading this kind of blasphemy, “But I do agree, it’s a little irritating.”

“It is!” Lucifer jerked as Lilith stood up abruptly and began to pace, “He’s great most of the time don’t get me wrong, but he’s just increasingly growing more and more insufferable! It’s like every time he gets better he just goes straight back to being worse!”

“Truly the trials and tribulations of the first humans.”

“I just wish he would listen to me! Not some stuck up self-important know it all who thinks I’m worthless.”

Lucifer wisely held back the instinctive defence of the Creator, “Especially when you are so much more than that.”

Lilith seemed to finally run out of steam, falling back into Lucifer’s arms and holding him tightly, “I hate this… I hate him.”

“No, you don’t.”

“No, I don’t… I hate the man God wants him to be.”

“I hate that man too,” Lucifer admitted, “I hate how he hurts everyone.”

Because it wasn’t just Lilith that was left hurting. Lucifer hated how he was losing track of the near silent breakdowns of Adam’s.

God created humanity different from the grand design, and every day Lucifer loathed that fact more and more.

“He’s going to win, that man.”

“Neither of us will let him.”

“He’ll let himself,” Lilith hissed right by his ear, the sound sending a shiver down Lucifer’s spine, by the choirs that felt good “Adams an idiot.”

“Yep!” Call Lucifer blasphemous, but he was so tempted to-

Lilith opened her mouth to say something, and Lucifer listened to the little voice in his head once again.

He caught her mouth with his own swiftly before pulling back, face flushing as he realised what he just did.

That was something only Adam and Lilith was supposed to do with each other.

Lilith blinked, taking time to process before giving her response, “Do that again.”

Lucifer didn’t need to be told twice.

The bark of the aspen tree was lit up by Lucifer’s wings as he pressed his lips to Lilith’s again.

And again.

And again.

Lucifer had never felt so good. He could see why Lilith and Adam like doing this. This felt so good.

- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - -

It was hours until Lucifer disentangled himself from Lilith, still not having quite recovered from the experience. Sadly, he could feel the mental tug attached to his halo signifying his siblings wanting an audience with him. The last thing he wanted was to have them come down and see him with Lilith.

The moment he returned to heaven however, he had the distinct feeling that he might have messed up regardless.

Michael was pacing and muttering angrily under his breath, sharp sounds grating Lucifer’s awareness. When the archangel saw Lucifer, his wings physically bristled as he lunged forward and grabbed the Morningstar by the robe.

“You are so very fortunate that God was already growing tired of Lilith’s rebellion!”

“What?”

“Michael,” Lucifer turned to see Azrael landing nearby, “I highly doubt Lucifer knows what he has done, as impulsive as he is.”

“What? What happened,” Lucifer demanded, mantling his wings to make himself look larger as he stared down the other archangels.

“You don’t know?”

“Know what!”

“God decided to give the first man a new wife,” Michaels words cut through Lucifer’s anger and left only shock, “Made from his rib.”

“… what?”

“Yes, I had to tear it out myself,” Michael huffed, Lucifer noticed the dried red still dusting the angels gloves, “Adam tried to flee.”

“…”

“What Michael means,” Azreal shot the other a look, “Is that Adam didn’t take the information well, and saw it fit to attempt avoiding the situation entirely.”

“He was awake?!” Lucifer screeched “By the choir what is wrong with you two?!”

“It was the Creator’s wishes, none of us knew it would bring pain,” Azrael sighed, “However, it would encourage not repeating the situation…”

“It doesn’t matter anyway,” Michael scoffed, “The Creator ensured Adam wouldn’t remember.”

“It would taint him.”

“It would motivate him.”

“What?”

“Our Creator has decided to take a more… hands on approach in ensuring the situation does not repeat itself,” Azrael looked uncomfortable, “Xe employed the use of divine power to keep Adam and Eve from straying from the grand design.”

Lucifer took a step back.

Michael opened his mouth to say something, but Lucifer couldn’t hear over the roar of nothing in his ears.

No.

Nononononono.

Lucifer ran.

He broke into a sprint before diving back down to Earth, landing on the soft grass of Eden he looked around desperately.

“Adam!”

“Yes?”

Lucifer turned around as Adam’s figure came into view from behind a tree, “Adam-”

His eyes were gold.

Lucifer stumbled back as he took in the first man’s appearance, Adam’s eyes were no longer the colour of earth. The familiar dark brown orbs that bore the gold of honey and of leaves in the sun were gone. In their place was the brilliant gold of divinity, of heaven, the same gold of the-

The chain attached to his wrist.

Lucifer lunged forward and grabbed his friends arm, pulling him forward and running a hand along the softly glowing cuff on Adams wrist.

It was definitely the Creator’s doing.

“Adam what have they done to you.”

“Ah, apologies, but have we met before?”

Lucifer’s golden ichor froze as he looked back up to meet that accursed golden gaze, “What?”

“It is just that… you seem familiar with me, but I do not recall ever having met you. I apologize.”

Lucifer stepped back from the first man, “What.”

“Were you present for my creation? That day was such a blur I hardly recall all those present.”

“Adam- Adam look at me,” Lucifer grabbed Adam by the shoulder, staring desperately into those too gold, too inhuman, too holy eyes “Adam. You are my best friend. You remember me don’t you?”

Adam’s eyes flickered for a moment, that familiar beautiful earth brown peeking through for a moment before being swamped by heavenly gold.

“You are an angel; how could I ever be friends with someone of a higher status such as you?”

Lucifer wanted to cry.

The Creator truly was cruel.

“Are you alright, sir?”

Lucifer couldn’t do this.

Lucifer shoved Adam away and ran like a coward, stumbling through the bushes and past trees as he ran away from the puppet wearing his best friends face.

He didn’t even talk like Adam.

The Creator just stripped his best friend of everything that made him… him.

Lucifer collapsed under a willow tree as he sobbed into his arms.

He didn’t move for a long time after that.

- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - -

Lilith found him in the dim of night, her eyes sharp and he teeth bared in a rueful grimace even as she took him into his arms.

“We’re not letting them get away with this. Not this time.”

A hot flame of righteous anger sparked in Lucifer’s heart as he held onto Lilith. She was right, this crossed a line.

Lucifer wanted to rush in, to steal Adam away and find a way to break that chain.

Lilith told him to wait, to watch and observe as she would.

“Right now, heaven does not know about our rebellion, if we move too quickly we will both be destroyed.”

She was right, of course she was. Lucifer hated it though.

They had to watch Adam go through the motions of what his life used to be. The way he would no longer wander the garden without reason.

He wouldn’t play with the animals anymore or sit and relax under the sun.

Lucifer almost broke the trunk of a tree when he saw Adam tear out a plant Gabriel considered ‘too imperfect for the garden’ even though Lucifer knew that it was Adams favourite flower.

That flame of anger grew every time that damned shackle glowed and chained Adams will.

It took a little time to figure out, but if there was one thing Lucifer was sure would free Adam and Eve, it was the apples of knowledge.

They had to.

Lucifer and Lilith also watched Eve through everything. She seemed meek through the control of the Creator, but in the few moments the attention of heaven faded and the gold in her eyes let a little bit of reddish brown through, they got to know her.

She was gentle and sweet to the animals but there was a steel in her spine.

She was vibrant and wild as she chased the cheetah’s around the garden or buried her head in a grizzly bears side.

Lucifer grew to love her in a way. As little of her as he could see. But she was the one the Creator paid less attention to, and why would xe? She is supposed to be subservient to Adam.

Lucifer shifted into the form of a snake and curled through the branches of the tree of knowledge as she came into view.

Showtime.

“Eve my dear, may I borrow your attention for but a moment?” Lucifer sing-songed, drawing the girls eye as she stopped at the base of the tree.

“What is it you require of me, snake?” Eve asked, Lucifer watched intently as the telltale hint of red brown filtered into her gaze, this was the shot he needed.

“The fruit of this tree, could you tell me how it tastes to you?”

The woman flinched back as if struck, and Lucifer’s eyes narrowed at her response.

“I couldn’t, God said-”

“And have you not wondered why xe demands such things of you? Have you not questioned why xe forbade this?” Lucifer hissed, snapping off an apple and letting it fall to the ground at Eve’s feet, “I know, and that is why I ask this of you.”

Eve’s will fought with Heaven for a moment as she picked up the apple, but she was not gone yet, “God said that if I ate the fruit, I would die.”

“And the Creator lies to you,” blasphemy dripped off of Lucifers tongue as he all but snarled at Eve, the white-hot flame of fury envenoming his words, “To eat the apple is not to die, but to be freed. To have your eyes opened to the truth around you.”

Eve held the apple in her hands, the reddish brown in her eyes traitorously present.

“How do you know I won’t die?”

“Because my dear, I have had my eyes opened long ago. To open them is a freedom the Creator keeps from you on purpose,” Lucifer hissed, “You will not die, of that I can promise.”

Eve bit into the apple, and the chains snapped under the weight of knowledge granted.

[a-whispering-echo]

band! doodles

have some random drawings i collected up and put on one canvas and finished up because i need storage space <3

[wryn-redacted-thrives]

okay what the hell has dave malloy been through that gave him the ability to write such good coming-to-terms-with-mortality songs

[crimson-catalyst]

once again the prompt for April was a little too specific to fit any of my nephs and i was thinkin about airplanes anyway soooo ash&dust neph au time <3 perfect for the upcoming mermay LOL

there's actually an egg in the real prompt but i took it away so i had a nice pretty clean version of merphdiesel <3

the prompt detailed a tourist-trap event with an egg hunt on one of nephfei's floating islands, touting it as harpip tradition (false) so we're pretending this one fell off. better be careful where u put those egg

[seafoam-taide]

thinking about (you) again

[clickerflight]

Esial: Part 11 - Phone Calls and Door Latches

Happy new years, guys! This is the last part of this arc. There will be more of Esial, trust me, but there will be a bit of a time skip between this and the next arc. Things are going to get wild. I have a plot line and everything. Anyways! Enjoy!

Masterlist

Part 10

Content: Vampire whumpee, human whumpee, emotional whump, injury recovery, depressive thoughts (nothing too deep but hinted at) loneliness, emotional angst

.................................................

Kyle checked the clock for what had to be the 12th time in the past half hour. He pressed a gentle hand to his side. It was well wrapped in bandages and padding and it was apparently healing well, but it still hurt. He needed to take some meds for it soon. The only issue was Kyle had to take it with food or he would end up throwing up. 

He sighed, leaning his head against the back of the couch, barely listening to the cooking competition show he had turned on to distract himself. He needed to get up to make food, which would make the pain worse, which would make the food harder to make. It was an unending loop. In the past he would have been able to ask Joanna for some help but even just thinking about her made his head and side hurt more. 

He closed his eyes, trying not to tear up. His life was a complete mess. He didn’t live near any family who could come help him, Joseph and his bondmate were the closest things Kyle had to friends, but he couldn’t bring himself to ask them for anything. Muir was busy all the time, running himself even harder than before now that he was a vampire and Joseph was always at the rehab center. Adding himself as another load onto them was selfish. 

He sighed again and leaned forward slowly, wincing. He couldn’t even get off this stupid couch. His education was down the drain, he couldn’t work, he didn’t have any family or friends. He didn’t have anything except for expensive medical bills that would drain his funds for finishing out schooling and lawyers calling him every day trying to get him to change the wording in his testimonies in sneaky ways, trying to get him to make it look less bad that his best friend had kept a vampire in her shed surrounded by silver and then shot him in a desperate attempt to sell the guy. 

This was insane. How was this his life?

By the time Kyle got to the counter in the kitchen, he had to lean on it, fighting rising sobs because he knew they would only make his side hurt more. He could cry after the meds had some time to kick in. No crying before then. And maybe he could do it in his bed as well. As a treat. 

He slowly gathered himself back together and opened his fridge, pulling out a container of chili. His neighbor, Barbara, had been bringing him some food now and again after he’d gotten back from the hospital. He wished she would stop. She was friendly, of course, but there was a prideful part of him that wished he had more help than his 50 year old neighbor who took pity on him and took the chance to talk to him as a way to feel a little less lonely herself. He put the chili in the microwave, wincing as he heard the first pop of one of the beans. Who knew how long his microwave was going to be chili splattered before he had the energy to clean it. 

He leaned on the counter again, waiting for the minute to be up so he could stir it and put it in for another minute when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. 

He closed his eyes against the anguish the sound caused in his soul as he dug it out. He looked at it, dreading to see some unknown number that could be the hospital or another Lawyer who found another phone number to call from, but he had this number saved in his phone. 

Joseph. 

He didn’t know if that was worse. 

He accepted the call and went to lift the phone to his ear, but gave up as pain lanced up his side. 

“Nope,” he muttered to himself, putting his arm back down and putting Joseph on speaker. 

“Hey,” Kyle said, hoping desperately that he didn’t sound like he’d been crying. 

“Hey, Kyle. Good to hear your voice,” Joseph said. Kyle didn’t like how timid the vampire sounded, like he wasn’t sure about how Kyle was going to react to something. “How are you? I meant to come up and check on you this morning but then I figured you were probably still sleeping and I didn’t want to-”

“What is it, Joseph?” Kyle sighed, watching the inside of his microwave get progressively dirtier inside. 

“Oh… ah. It’s Esial.”

Kyle closed his eyes as his microwave beeped. He’d wait till after the call to deal with it. 

“What about him?”

“He’s doing alright. Ah, a little confused, homesick, that sort of thing. That’s normal. He just asked if he could talk to you sometime. You don’t have to do it now, of course. I’m just seeing if you’d be up to it in the next couple of weeks or… you know… whenever.”

Kyle didn’t open his eyes, focusing on keeping calm steady breathes. There were flashes of light in his mind’s eye, a bleeding vampire hovering over him, Kyle himself open on the table. 

A gun to his head, a scared vampire trying to free himself from a woman Kyle had once called his best friend. 

A vampire sitting, nearly naked, in a spot surrounded by silver in a shed. 

“Kyle? You still there?”

“No.”

“What?”

“No,” Kyle said, more exhausted this time. “Look, no offense to the guy, but I can’t. I can’t anymore. I’m so sick of this.”

“Oh… well, maybe we can talk about this later after you’re heal-”

“NO! Joseph! I don’t want to talk to that stupid vampire. I don’t want to ever see him again, you hear!? I want my life back! And I know it’s not his fault but…. Crap, Joseph. Just….. Just leave me alone.”

Before Joseph could protest, Kyle hung up. He tossed his phone onto the counter, staring at it for a long time before he turned. He left the chili in the microwave, he left the TV and lights on, but he snagged a piece of bread to stuff into his mouth on the way past, made a beeline for the bathroom where he took his meds. 

He laid on top of his blankets for a long time, something in his pocket digging into his leg as he stared at the wall. Once he felt the meds start working he buried his face in his pillow and screamed before allowing himself to cry softly for another hour, letting that eventually carry him to sleep. 

…………………………………….

Esial had finally figured out the door handle properly. It amused him to no end to open the door and then just pull the handle down to see the catch slide in and out of the door. He was fascinated by the mechanism and a little tempted to take it apart to see if he could replicate it in some way. He didn’t dare, though. When he’d done that to the ‘lamp’ by his bed he couldn’t get it to work again after and he didn’t want to do the same thing to the door latch. 

He looked up as he heard someone coming down the hall and was delighted to see it was Joseph. And just like he had asked Joseph every time Esial had seen him since the night walk, he asked, “Can I talk to Kyle?”

Joseph reached the door, looking rather uncomfortable. Esial was getting good at recognizing that emotion, especially on Joseph, but his teachers who had started teaching him body language said he was picking it up pretty well anyways. 

“I called Kyle,” Joseph said slowly, but Esial waited patiently for him to get to the point. 

Joseph rubbed the back of his neck. “He’s… going through a rough patch right now. He just got really badly hurt and he’s tired and having a kind of bad time. He’s not ready to talk to you right now.”

“Then next week?” Esial asked. He hoped a week meant what he thought it meant. Or was it day? He knew it wasn’t month. A month was a cycle of a moon cause they both started with an M sound. 

Joseph sighed. “I don’t know when, Esial.”

Esial frowned. “Why not?”

“Because… look. Kyle’s not ready to really be around people much. We should leave him be.”

Esial wrinkled his nose at that. “Not ready? I just want to talk in the old language. That is all. I am not asking for him to kill hippos while he is injured. I just want to talk.”

Joseph gave Esial a look that the isolated vampire didn’t understand. It looked complicated. 

This only frustrated him further. 

“Do I ask too much?” Esial asked, bearing his teeth. “Only talk. Does not even have to be long one!” He wanted to apologize for coming to the hospital, he wanted to ask about certain things that he couldn’t grasp because he didn’t know English well. He wanted to talk in a language he was more familiar with instead of fighting with each sentence and each word. 

“No,” Joseph said. “He’s just tired. He’ll probably come around to talk to you eventually-”

“‘Come around?’ That is phrase with other meaning. He does… he does not want to talk with me.”

“No, wait, Esial, it’s more complicated than that. It-”

“He does not. I scare him?” Esial did not consider himself scary to anything. Not even to hippos. Hippos do not feel fear. He wasn’t very tall, he was confused most of the time, and he didn’t even mean Kyle harm. Kyle knew that! He defended Esial in the hospital. 

Esial growled and Joseph tried to placate the older vampire. “Esial, it’s not that. A lot of things happened, okay? He’s dealing with a lot of bad emotions and he doesn’t know what he wants. This isn’t about you.”

“I do not ask much! I only want to sorry to him! I want to ask thing that do not … not-” Esial snapped his fingers- “In here,” he said, gesturing to his head. “I was hurt! Why bad emotion with me!?”

“Emotions are more complicated than that. It’s, They’re, crap. How do I explain this to you?”

“This why I need talk with Kyle!” Esial said, giving up on following all of the stupid confusing rules of this stupid confusing language. 

“He doesn’t want to talk to you,” Joseph blurted,  frustrated. “Right now,” he said quickly, but Esial heard the pause. 

Esial snarled, bore his teeth again and cussed Joseph out with the language that his parents had taught him before backing up and slamming the door, panting as he stood in the darkness of his room. 

He could hear Joseph pacing outside for a moment before he finally walked off, leaving Esial alone.

Esial: @whumpsday @honeycollectswhump @writereleaserepeat @tragedyinblue @hyrules-sleepiest-knight @why-not-ask-me-a-better-question @thecyrulik @gt-daboss

From Dust to Ashes: @whumpsday @writereleaserepeat @currentlyinthesprial @pigeonwhumps

[frankiebirds]

I don't recall if hotch's religious beliefs are ever discussed, but ive always gotten the sense that he was. probably catholic?

anyway. i wonder if, from his perspective, he wasn't lying here.

(for a refresher: this is 2x19, ashes & dust. they're speaking to a woman who was in a fire with her husband and son, of which she was the only survivor. she is unaware her husband and son are gone, and hotch and emily have been informed that "whatever they say, she won't live long enough to know the difference.")

[spotaus]

Orchid and Horror doodles! (More context under the cut!)

Orchid is an errormare ship kid! She was made from loose magic in a bid to make an heir for Nightmare so that he could give Dream even more hell than before. However, the child he'd intended to train into a weapon ended up being far too cute, so he raised her right instead.

Horror was one of Orchid's main influences as a babybones, because Horror was pretty much the only one who'd looked out for his brother in his own au. Night trusted him to be around her from the start (Dust and Killer didn't recieve that same trust) so as much as Orchid most certainly knew Night was her father, Horror was her Uncle from the start. He knew how to raise a babybones and helped Night learn (with actual hands-on learning instead of his books).

Of course, Horror was also her main influence even after her bad injury (cracked open her skull and snapped off her leg). The rest of the household coddled her, rightfully so, but she didn't like the taste of their pity and wirry. She would more often than not try to keep up a brave face up until Horror arrived, and then she'd dig into his jacket and cry and tell him all about her woes. Little kid logic on this one I guess.

And of course he didn't always know how to help, but he tried not to take away her freedom now that she was injured. Obviously her bed-rest days were important, but he'd carry her around on her better days and have her watch him cook or train. She picked up most of her swearwords from Horror, and she loves to use his hands-on fighting style when she's older too.

Horror was the reason she grew less ashamed of her head wound and loss of death perception. He never treated her too differently about it, and one day during an outburst, Nightmare told her that Horror had the same injury as her, in a way. That had almost immediately changed her perspective.

And yeag, idk. I just really wanted to finally draw Orchid with her favorite uncle. She might've gotten all her magic lessons from Nightmare, but her combat style is built on the base which Horror gave to her.

Oh!! Bonus art!

Idk if I posted this or not, but Orchid is on the right! She usually uses her 'Spindles' to move, but Post-Eternal Ashes and very shortly after her injury she uses these canes(???) To get around a lot more often. As a kid Horror and Dust taught her how to keep her balance on her one leg and move quickly using these crutches so she wasn't vulnerable if her magic was restricted. (Don't mind Shotput on the left, he's unrelated. Just didn't wanna crop it weird.)

[pardonmydelays]

totally unrelated to anything ever but somebody from my country is selling the great comet cd and it doesn't really cost much and i think i want it

[ariiiiih]

About <辜(Gu/Guilty)> (a TGCF AD song)

The last two versions of 辜 are really great, so I wanna share some thoughts and provide some supplementary materials.

The first one in episode 17 is a ballad version. As Xintong (新桐, TGCF AD’s music monitor) said in her webio, “[it’s] to unfold and highlight He Xuan’s mood from his perspective.”

This version is sorrowful but soft, and the lalala childish humming at the end, which sounds like a nursery rhyme, gives this song a sense of purity and innocence. In the blackwater arc, which consists of horror, anger, hatred, and despair, this feeling never appeared. Then, why use this song, this feeling to express HX?

The song was like out of the story, just like the feelings that HX never directly expressed. Actually, the warmest and touching scene in this story, from the RoEW to the end of revenge, was told in the first extra of TGCF----HX’s family, who gave XL a bowl of Yuanxiao and wished he would reunite with his family:

“Do you not have the money?” the owner asked. Still stricken, Xie Lian couldn’t reply, but the owner simply said, “Forget it. I’ll give it to you for free, considering how tragic you look. I'll be packing up once you’re done, so hurry home. Today is Yuanxiao, the day for family reunions!” …

The little girl was biting on her spoon with her head tilted. “When is gege coming home? I wanna wait until he’s back before digging in.” “He’s so late,” the owner chimed in. “Coming home so late on Yuanxiao; how outrageous!” “He’s working hard. He’Il be home soon,” the old woman chided. “Don’t scold him when he comes back. Miao-er! Miao-er, stop working. I feel awful always needing you to help out. Come here, and let’s eat together.” “Not at all!” the young woman replied. She cleaned the last table before sitting down with them to share yuanxiao. They seemed to be waiting for another member of the family to join them, and the four of them chatted and laughed all the while.

And the tragedy of this family in TGCF AD, when HX’s sister said “Gege, let's be brother and sister in the next life” and when his father told him “Son, father’s going with your mother,” was heartbreaking.

So, this ballad version of 辜, from He Xuan’s perspective, was like He Xuan remembering his family, his life, and all the happiness and suffers in it; it was like He Xuan looking back to the path that he had walked so far over hundreds of years and the three lifetimes of man, god, and ghost; and lamenting the people who had been involved in this fate-switching incident, the lives of those who had died innocently and tragically. Humming is a primitive expression of feelings, compassionate and pure like a god, while the mourning for those low-level, insignificant mortals shows the idea that gods should not love only abstract humans, but real people.

As an avenger, it's easy to think of HX's anger and hatred. But when they are stripped away, we can find that deep in his heart, the feeling and reason of his revenge that we easily overlook, is the pure love between him and his family, the warmest and the most joyful past. This love may seem ordinary, less splendor than other ghost kings’ beliefs or the relationship with Shi brothers, but it is this love that supported him to resolutely carry out an extremely long and lonely revenge that no one has ever done. Even though he would never rest and would suffer forever and he knew it, some people were worth doing that for.

That’s why I like this version. It reminded me of “true voyage is return”. The character of He Xuan is very complex but easily flattened and stereotyped because his inner self and his inward exploration are hidden, and this song shows the neglected side of He Xuan, a more human and even divine side.

The last version in episode 18 is an omniscient perspective (I haven’t seen the translation yet, so I tried to do it by myself, sorry if it sounds weird in English).

运数又何为 命中误

What fate has done,

A mistake in life.

似这般无妄劫 怎可渡

Like this undeserved trial,

How can it be passed?

一个是琳琅材 一个是凡间骨

One is a precious jade,

The other an ordinary bone.

偏谁得奇缘 放醉入仙府

Yet, who is destined

To stumble into the immortal realm.

做仙的眼无珠 做鬼的有恨难诉

The god has eyes but blind,

The ghost harbors hatred but hard to tell.

骨肉终消散 尝尽悲与苦

Flesh and blood dissipated,

Sorrow and Pain tasted.

这欠命的已还命 赎命的却无人赎

The one who owed a life has paid,

The one who atoned remains unredeemed.

问去去来来谁赢输

Ask who wins and who loses.

叹尘归尘来土归土

Sign, as ashes return to ashes,

And dust to dust.

This song has the style of Dream of the Red Chamber (the greatest classical novel in Chinese literature). Here are the songs in this novel, where you could find some similarities.

Vain Longing: One is an immortal flower of fairyland, The other fair flawless jade, And were it not predestined, Why should they meet again in this existence? Yet, if predestined, Why does their love come to nothing? One sighs to no purpose, The other yearns in vain, One is the moon reflected in the water, The other but a flower in the mirror. How many tears can well from her eyes? Can they flow on from autumn till winter, From spring till summer?

The Birds into the Wood have Flown: The office jack’s career is blighted, The rich man’s fortune now all vanished, The kind with life have been requited, The cruel exemplarily punished; The one who owed a life is dead, The tears one owed have all been shed. Wrongs suffered have the wrongs done expiated; The couplings and the sundering were fated. Untimely death sin in some past life shows, But only luck a blest old age bestows. The disillusioned to their convents fly, The still deluded miserably die. Like birds who, having fed, to the woods repair, They leave the landscape desolate and bare.

Also, in the Bloody Fire Social of AD, the first time we heard Scholar He (*in ancient China we called a scholar ‘Sheng’, that’s where He Sheng came, not He Xuan’s another name), the verse that artist sang also shared a similarity with a song from Dream of the Red Chamber.

(Bloody Fire Social):

世人皆说贺生好

All men long to be He Sheng

功名利禄少不了

With riches and rank that all aspire;

如今贺家在何方？

The kind family of He, where are they now?

荒冢一堆草没了

Their graves are a mass of briars.

All Good Things Must End (first part): All men long to be immortals Yet to riches and rank each aspires; The great ones of old, where are they now? Their graves are a mass of briars.

An interesting coincidence is that “All Good Things Must End” is the opening verse of Dream of the Red Chamber, while “The Birds into the Wood have Flown” is the closing verse of Dream of the Red Chamber. And the two similar songs in the blackwater arc are told from He Sheng's life to the end of He Xuan's revenge, which I personally like as a literary homage.

[what-have-i-unleashed]

wonder how murder would react to volcanic ashfall