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#from being able to do them if you can ?
choccy-milky · 19 days
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sometimes you gotta lure your overly-studious ravenclaw gf into spending time with you 🥰 📚 ( from 'Every Teardrop is a Waterfall' by Kat_12739 on ao3, GO READ IT!!! the first story is about seb falling sick and still pushing himself/not admitting he's sick until he ends up in the hospital, the second story is about the birth of seb and clora's daughter and seb's reaction to clora almost dying in childbirth, and the third is about dealing with a fussy newborn lewis😭🥹THEY'RE SO GOOD AND SWEET AND SOMEWHAT SAD (not to mention beautifully written) so go check it out!!💖💖 )
#READ SO I CAN YAP TO SOMEONE ABOUT THEM🙏😩💘#the seb sickfic made me realize how much i needed barely functioning and sick seb (but him still trying to be tough)#theres also a part that cracked me up bc at one point seb is so sick he cant even see straight but he just thinks to himself:#eh its fine.... ill just ask ominis how HE functions without vision later🤷 LMFAO#so stubborn...JUST LET CLORA TAKE CARE OF YOU MFER🤺🤺🤺#defs gonna be drawing more from it especially sick seb LMAO but also seb having a tea party with celeste🥹🥹#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian x mc#hogwarts legacy fanfiction#sebastian sallow fanfiction#hphl#choccyart#also i was never planning on writing anything about clora giving birth or abt the kids so to be able to read it WAS AMAZING#THERES A PART WHERE SEB IS HOLDING CELESTE AND CRYING AT CLORAS BEDSIDE THAT I NEED TO DRAW😭😭#LIKE SRSLY seb being conflicted and not even wanting to HOLD celeste bc he doesnt know if clora is alive or not... IT WAS SO SAD BUT GOOD#i honestly dont know what seb would do if clora died in childbirth tbh.......i could honestly see him resenting celeste#esp since she looks so much like clora😭😭#LETS JUST NOT THINK ABOUT IT!😃👍#(still thinking about it)#like this line in the fic: “Sebastian hesitated; if this was Clora’s last gift to him he wasn’t sure he wanted it.”#😭😭😭ITS SO GOOD UGHHHHH😭 TY AGAIN FOR WRITING THESE💖IM SO TOUCHEDDD💖💖
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deoidesign · 28 days
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Wearing your boyfriend's jacket
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beanghostprincess · 3 months
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A bit tired of people complaining about Sanji's principle of "not hitting women" being misogynistic when it has been clearly stated multiple times that he does not choose it and it's heavily tied to his trauma and admiration for his dad and respect for women and definitely not from seeing women as somehow weaker than him
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ricky-mortis · 3 months
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Curtwen Week Day 6: Happy Ending
#I like to believe that there is a universe where they get to grow old together#just one#look once upon a time I read a fic that had me bawling my fuckin eyes out where they get to grow old together#I do want to say that I believe in personal growth and I think that Curt can 100% have a happy ending without Owen- where he can grow#away from that experience and where he can healthily cope with the trauma he ended up with#where he can find solace in something other than alcohol and where he can find it in himself to forge new relationships and build his#connections with people like Tatiana#etc etc#I just want to make it known that this is one of many happy endings that could happen#(amongst the several sad ones that I know also exist)#ALSO I wanted to draw the old men and I do what I want#but yeah something something if the universe is infinite /ref#maybe this is a universe where the banana incident never happened and they were able to retire together#ough#the curtwen feels are really getting me today#I adore them#also I used a new brush ive been having fun with this past week#doesn’t it look cool?#I really like drawing with it and I like how it looks so#we might be seeing more of this one in the future#although 6b is still my guy#damn y’know hypothetically- if Owen (depending on the au) and Curt lived to be in their 60s (at least) they would witness the first Pride#god can you imagine that?#At the very least Curt being around for stonewall and everything that came after that with queer rights#FUCK anyways#fun fact: a group of frogs is called an army#isn’t that cute#reminds me of that one person on TikTok that raised like a thousand frogs- they had a literal army of frogs#crazy#curtwen week
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hyperblue · 11 months
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okay listen
i need tim to be the softest dad possible
i need him to call his kid every pet name that's out there. i need tim to call his kid sunshine and darling and sweetheart and DUCKLING because you get it right?? because he's a drake and that's his little baby duck can't you see???
i need him to kiss his kid's forehead before bedtime without missing a single night. like no matter how tired he is, he might be only-running-on-his-fifth-cup-of-coffee-and-pure-spite type of exhausted but he WON'T leave his baby's side until he's completely sure they're fast asleep so he can tuck them safely and warm under the blanket that he bought for them IMMEDIATELY after they pointed at it ONCE at the store (it's a quilt blanket; it's blue; it has little golden stars on it)
i need him to work from home with his kid on his lap, talking to them softly, playing with their hair mindlessly. i need him to scoop them up in his arms every chance he gets 'cause they're growing so fast and they won't always be this tiny and one day he won't be able to hold them like this anymore; to hide them from the world on his chest
i need him to cry at his child's first steps, word. i need him to cry about being called "dad"
i need him to tell his kid that he loves them to the moon and back. to tell them that he won't let anything or anyone ever hurt them
i need him to say, "i will always be by your side"
"you can always rely on me"
"i will never leave you alone"
"are you okay, sweetheart? we can always leave if you want"
"you can't eat that, duckling, I'm sorry. you're allergic to peanuts remember?"
"just because I wasn't expecting you to be born does not mean that i love you any less, can you hear me?"
i just. i need him to be a soft dad. i know that he wouldn't be exactly like that realistically but a girl can have self-indulgent dreams sometimes
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ganondoodle · 14 days
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one of the things in my totk rewrite that im most confident about is removing the building gimmick (to put it in another game truly build around it, its such a waste here imo) to add the hookshot instead
everyone loves the hookshot, i have never heard anyone say they didnt like it
in a world like botw it would be a perfect fit- it adds a unique and different movement option while-
it does not destroy the world design (like the building aspect does, though the towers also need a different function, letting you fly anywhere and skip everything everywhere all the time, including puzzles in both shrines and dungeons, something like that in a world thats build around climbing and gliding WILL end up destructive to the world design without really careful changes and balances .. that absolutely werent done in the game)
opens up a whole new way to think and do puzzles in a way that wasnt there in botw
preserves the feeling of dread when high up or in the sky, since falling is still a danger even with the parasail ( bc removing almost all warp points up there makes the danger being loss of progress rather than the fall itself- removing the parasail as a whole for the entire game is not an option and it will always be a security to not die by fall damage, so there should be a different danger even if im usually not a fan of loss of progress pressure, the bird mechanic i mentioned in other post would also help you not lose everything even if you make a mistake)
it makes climbing easier WITHOUT making it obsolete or skippable, especially with adding the main way to get up to sky islands as islands to climb up via the hookshot, its just adds another way to interact with the terrain instead of .. not interactign with it at all, the range is still limited and you still have to cling to the wall and get down to shoot it again
it being built into links prosthetic shiekah arm makes it more unique both in looks and mechanic/narrative aspects so i dont think it would be boring to have an old 'item' reused in a new way, especially together with the rest of the abilities- like it being not an instant 'pulls you to the thing' but a reactivatable one instead (so you can grab things to move them if lightweight enough similar to ultrahand)
bosses can benefit from it too, imo one of the coolest things in twilight princess was grabbing onto a boss to pull yourself to and onto them, being able to do that even to smaller ones shadow of the colossus style would be so neat
grabbing onto something moving and not pulling yourself immediately to it opens up not just fun but also funny scenarios aka you being flung around by whatever you grabbed (grab on a dragon ...weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee- on a lynel ...'ragdoll chaos')
(with the removal of building and thus the majority of all the puzzles being fly thing from point A to point B not being a thing it also makes way for cool kinds of ways to get to the next sky island for example- a thought i had was making the reason they fly and are practically invisible from most angles being that they are swimming in a special kind of cloud that hides them due to breaking of light in certain ways withing them- thus hiding it from below most of the time, eliminating the problem of 'sky too full' which was apprently a reason why they removed alot of them too, and it would be incredibly fun to be able to poof into little clouds (they look a certain way so you know which ones you can swim in) also! lil cloud bridges between islands! a boat to surf on them high up in the sky! mario galaxy vibes!
probably more im forgetting
anytime i think about the hookshot mechanic i get so sad bc i just keep imagining how much you could have done with in totk and desperately want to play that :U
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ndcultureis · 6 months
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Autism culture is getting bullied for making a mistake and not knowing why you want to cry so badly when you don’t care about their comments.
Ps: how do I deal with bullies? I’ve tried talking with them, they just laugh at me. I’ve told authority figures (teachers, etc) and they talk to the dudes and it only makes it worse.
.
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lucalicatteart · 7 months
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A new sculpture! Finally... I feel like I never sculpt anymore since I'm always sick or have some 500 other things going on or projects to finish, but I'm trying to schedule time to do it more often this year hopefully..! Just a generic fantasy creature as usual, but did try making the eyes a little more sparkly this time.. hrmm..
#sculpture#fantasy art#fantasy creature#art#elf#lol what are the tags I should use... I still never know.. EVIL social media.. hate the idea of tagging anything ever anyway. but alas..#I also would ideally like to start selling them again and open up custom commmissions and stuff again once I can hopefully get paypal#stuff sorted out. and find like.. a good way to do things.. etc.. I did still want to sell them through auction instead of agonizing#over setting prices being afraid they're either too high or too low. So being able to just be like. Here. this is $50. or more. or less.#negotiate. the worth is whatever you feel like it is so i personally dont have to make that decision. etc. lol... But etsy doesn't let you#do auctions or like pay what you want type stuff so.. then I was thinking ebay? but idk.. ANYWAY.. I want to set things#up so I can sell stuff again hopefully. I still haven't fully recovered from the costs of when I had to take my cat to the vet and put#them down last year and etc. So it'd be good to sell a few things. perhaps.. maychance... perhamble... so on and so forthe... ANYWAY#I was going for whiter more milky sort of hair that blends in closely with the skintone but after the paint dried it seems more yellowy kin#of. which is fine. But just not exacltly like my mind vision lol..#Also it's like... wow... someone with face spots and elf ears and a half open mouth with a gap tooth and wavy hair and kind of downturned#eyes... revolutionary... never been seen before... every sculpture I have ever made surely doesnt look licherally exactly like this... LOL#but maybe it's just a style. so what. People have their motifs lol.. Im just getting back into sculpting. I shall sameface in peace. huzzah#Just like the only thing I ever carve out of avocado pits anymore is eyes. Because that's just whats fun to do. I'm going to accumulate lik#25 similar avocado eyes and have nothing to do with them. I was thinking of stringing some together into a necklace of eyes or something li#like that but.. hrmm... ANYWAY.. Love to do the same things repetitively. :3c
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moiraimyths · 1 month
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Before we call anon rude because let’s see it from their perspective, imagine getting an entire feast to eat. That can be pretty hard to start with so much that’s going on, but if they start with one thing they know they’ll like (aka one character they like) that can be the start for them leaping to other characters to finish the story and the bigger story. I struggle the same way to start book series if I don’t have at least one character that drives me to read it, it’s all about what can be the hook to push them through. Sounds like the anon is neurodivergent (just a guess) so they might genuinely not see it as rude and see it as a solution to even play the game to start with.
Btw absolutely adore the game, the complex and rich characters making them all so unique is amazing. The art is so pleasing to the eyes I love it!! I’m waiting for it all to get out at once so I don’t get too impatient. Shae however interests me the most, which routes will have the most lore for them? Will there be routes that give more lore in general based on decisions you make or do they all share the same amount? (I mean general lore not just Shae lore)
Apologies; we are not trying to accuse any asker of being rude! We are simply explaining our perspective as the developers / are trying to broadly encourage folks to dip their toes into other areas of the story outside of the main route(s) they're interested in, especially considering some routes will be made available sooner than others, and these other routes will likely contain additional scenes/lore of everyone's fave(s) regardless! We want to give each main cast member an equal amount of love (and lore) regardless of their overall popularity, so our goal is not to tut-tut anyone for having strong preferences for one character over the others, but rather to explain that you may be surprised by how much *more* you learn about your preferred characters in the other routes. That's all!
For Shae... Well, they were a foot soldier for one of the worst periods of the War. Lore wise, any other story that touches on the War will likely have content relevant to them and their experiences. ^^
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#ask#clotho answers#edit/final note: we got a *few* asks on this subject and will not likely answer all of them for the sake of our followers' dashboards#but we also want to note that part of our encouragements here come from the fact that Flan/Keagan are our most popular characters by a lot#and we want to do what we can to gently nudge folks who may not want to romance the fem / nb characters into checking out their stories#despite not being into them romantically. this is half of why we have platonic routes to begin with#we recognize veterans to the dating sim world may feel less inclined to romance characters that don't align with their irl orientations#this isn't a bad thing. some people steer clear of dating sims altogether because they're aro or just not interested in romance stories etc#but the unintentional side effect of this is it has a chilling effect on developers even in the indie sphere to make less diverse stories#if Flan and Keagan are our most popular characters then they will be our most *profitable* characters in the long run#and as much as we would love to not care about money and just produce the story we want to tell#we live in a society (tm) and need to eat#if at the end of ndm's development we see that 90% of our engagement went toward the boys it is hard to ignore the financial incentive#to redirect our energy toward leaning into the 'tried and true' formula that assures we can buy groceries and make rent#basically what i am candidly saying here is capitalism is pretty bad for creative liberty unless you're already rich / able to self finance#which we are not. and currently none of the core devs make *anything* from ndm#it would be nice if it does turn a profit but that isn't a guarantee - which the team has accepted as a normal risk in game development#anyway this is getting rambly but the Point is that this goes beyond us wanting to make sure all sides of our story are equally appreciated#it is *partly* that - we do want players to experience the entirety of our artwork#but it's not just for our egos - it's so we can keep making art like this#i considered including this in the body of the post but money talk suuucks man#and i don't want anyone to think we're glaring at them in a holier than thou 'ah-ha! you don't want to play maeve's route because she's a#woman!' sort of way because i think that's a reductive way to look at things#people like what they like and there's nothing intrinsically wrong with that#but if you like that we're making a diverse story#with masc routes fem routes and nb routes#even if you don't personally want to romance x or y#it would help us if y'all play the platonic routes#we are trying our very very best to make the fem/nb routes interesting for Everyone so those stories don't get sidelined#and if you don't like them for their own sake - fair enough! can't win em all and we'll deeply appreciate that you tried anyway!
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Movie!Tails 🤝 Nine
Getting all 😳😊 when Sonic says that he considers them a friend
#sonic the hedgehog#sontails#sonine#unbreakable bond#miles tails prower#tails the fox#sonic prime#sonic wachowski#miles nine prower#nine sonic prime#nine the fox#i just be ramblin#If you know you know#The scene with Nine gets me because Sonic is like 'Only a true friend could pull off a save like that'#and Nine STUTTERS. He's like ''Friend? We're f-friends?'' all airy like and smiling like he's not sure he can believe it#And then later Sonic's like 'Mess with my best bud and you get blasted!'#And it's like the first time Sonic's referred to Nine as a best friend of his so Nine gets this soft heartfelt smile like it was touching😭#And then the scene from Sonic movie 2 man#Tails is like 'Do you really mean that? About me being your pal?'#and he places his hand over his own heart and everything‚ smiling like the implication is just touching#and Sonic's like 'Of course‚ buddy' and Tails smiles even bigger and just hugs him#Gaaaaaaaaaah they just they just get me#I spent a lot of time in the S0riku trenches in my youth waxing poetry about Riku’s feelings and like#Nine and movie Tails' reactions to being considered friends or best friends to Sonic speaks to that part of me#(that part of me who used to wax poetry about Riku not being able to believe that Sora still considers him a best friend‚ much less anythin#else he'd want the two of them to be)#And Nine specifically‚ he wants to be someone special and irreplaceable for Sonic. So especially when Sonic calls him 'best bud'‚ I think i#allows him to believe for a moment that his dream is possible and that Sonic would choose to live in a world of their own making with him
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apollos-boyfriend · 27 days
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i probably have some sort of dissociative disorder but i have a job so idrc about that rn
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somniumfae · 22 days
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do not let him cook
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mars-ipan · 4 months
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some postgame doodles for pride month
#martzipan#komahina#hajime hinata#nagito komaeda#domestic kmhn likers pspspsps cmere#i never draw just fluff/domestic things bc i get too in my feelings lmao. this one was no exception#i had to take a break midway through bc i got sappy. IT'S OK THO we got it done :3#neways these tie into some headcanons of mine so i'm gonna share 'em here#mainly i hc them having little ways where they just look out for each other#komaeda is usually the only one who can convince hinata to take a goddamn break without having to forcefully drag him away from his work#bc hinata does NOT take enough breaks. and he does not listen to reason#until there is a komaeda who is tired and can't go to sleep without his human teddy bear :((( can't let him go to bed aloneeee#n i think hinata just. casually feeds komaeda ALL the time#bc he won't eat enough on his own. and if you offer him food he'll be inclined to see it as a nicety and try to reject it#but if you just. Put Food In Front Of His Mouth. he'll eat it#it's kind of a reflex like komaeda doesn't realize he's being fed most of the time#they take care of each other bc they won't take care of themselves otherwise lmao. it's a little dysfunctional but they're trying#i think once they've recovered enough to be able to just enjoy each other's company they get REALLY really giggly#they have a lot of teenage/young adult love stuff to catch up on and since they didn't really have a puppy love phase. they laugh a lot#they'll try to do something tender or sweet but then one of them will start to laugh. and then it's not long before the other breaks#komaeda usually breaks first. bc he's always in awe of just how happy he is. bc he never thought he COULD be this happy#not without hell looming just over the horizon anyways#when hinata breaks first it's bc he's thinking of how much they've both been through and put each other through#and he's just sort of like 'how the fuck did we end up here'#(btw komaeda snorts when he's trying not to laugh. this is just fact trust me)#OH AND I HAVE MANY HEADCANONS ABT THEIR SLEEP STUFFS#as stated hinata runs hot and komaeda runs cold. but ALSO#hinata's a sprawler. komaeda gets Clingy. it works out for them tho#if komaeda doesn't have hinata to hold like a body pillow he'll curl into the tightest little ball. it gives him back pain lmao#oh and yes. they absolutely wake up with their legs incredibly tangled together
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lord-squiggletits · 3 months
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Part of why I hate this fandom's take on Autobots vs Decepticons is ppl (mainly 'con fans honestly) who can't have any nuance of the situation whatsoever and love to write plots like "oh the humans are racist and abusive towards Cybertronians so this is how Megatron is right" no actually I don't think colonialism/imperialism and racism are justified so long as you can point the finger and say "they were the aggressors first" or "their hands are no cleaner than ours bc their society sucks too" sorry. Please come up with better sociopolitical narratives in your war story.
#squiggposting#i'm too tired to like actually care about this any more#and ppl's fandom takes don't necessarily represent their IRL views#but i'm just like. oh so i see that you want to write mature stories with politics and dealing with bigotry. that's cool!#now do it in a way that actually refutes bigotry and makes some sort of attempt at resolution#bc 'oh humans are just as bad and evil so it's fine if we colonize them' isn't the pro-con take ppl think it is lkdsfjlsdkfs#honestly this is what john barber got right in his story even tho the politics in his became overbearing#at least he's like the one dude who rightfullly pointed out 'uhhh organics have history with cybertronians that makes them very justified#'in not trusting them'#but my mistake is expecting the average 'con fan to disengage from the 'revolution' part to talk about the racism and imperialism lmao#if ppl weren't cowards they would be able to write characters as problematic and bigots and imperialists#but still show their humanity and point out how the cycle of retribution needs to end at some point#and how killing everyone who ever did anything bad (esp for a race as long lived as theirs) isnt a sustainable model of society#that's my PROBLEM man like stop being COWARDS acknowledge that your heroes can be shitty ppl#instead of framing things as good guys vs bad guys and then framing absolution as being only for the good guys#what if good and bad didn't exist and we were all shitty in some way and none of us inherently deserve forgiveness. what then#what if you wrote a story where you had to deal with the reality of rehabilitating ppl who have genuinely done horrible things#what if you wanted to rehabilitate society but realized the majority of ppl in it are monsters. what then?#do you only extend forgiveness and peace to the ppl who got thru with no moral compromises?#do you want to kick the majority/almost all of your race to the curb and give them no mercy/second chances?#what if ppl wrote stories where sociopolitical issues had no good/bad guys and no easy solutions#what if ppl had the courage and ethical fortitude to say 'everyone here sucks actually'#anyways sorry for the rant
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iguessitsjustme · 4 months
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Ter stop talking over and making decisions for Dee challenge 2k24. Y'all ain't even friends at this point you're just the annoying coworker go away
#wandee goodday#wandee goodday the series#wandee goodday series#listen listen listen#i am glad that ter is starting to realize things about himself#i'm glad he's starting to embrace his feelings#howmstever he needs to do that in a way where he is able to give up some control#he cannot control dee's actions or responses#he needs to communicate with dee not make decisions for him#ter and dee do not mesh because dee is super competitive about silly little things#and he doesn't like being told what to do. he likes gentle nudging and he also likes his boundaries#yak still hasn't kissed him despite both of them knowing how bad yak wants to#ter extended their japan trip without talking to dee and then tried to kiss him not even knowing how dee feels about being kissed#dee hasn't had a chance to explain#and even before he had a chance to explain with yak#yak wasn't kissing him. yak was operating strictly off of body language and managed to not kiss dee#then he asked about it in a non-judgemental way and dee felt comfortable enough to tell him#and yak said got it boss. you know i want to kiss you but this is a boundary that we will not cross#until we are ready and willing to cross it together#yes yak has pushed a bit because he wants it but he always goes slow enough and gives dee enough space to back out before they kiss#which dee does#and he will back out until he doesn't#but that's the difference between ter and yak#dee was closed in and didn't have a lot of options to avoid the kiss if it hadn't been interrupted#i don't doubt dee would have managed to avoid it but ter blocked off a lot of opportunities to leave#yak leaves space for dee to leave if he wants to#ter is controlling and yak is freeing#and that is why dee was able to fall for yak after 8 years of pining for ter#he is free from the feelings that were controlling him#and now he can move on and be happy with someone who truly understands him
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ganondoodle · 23 days
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so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-
but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again
(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)
i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)
weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward
but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.
right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#sorta#suicide attempt mention in the IRL stuff im talking about in the following tags btw#theres some construction stuff on our house going on#and my father is extremely stressed about it#he used to be very explosive- being silent and then exploding out of nowhere .. probably left me with lasting damage yippie-#but now he much more lets it eat at himself bc hes old and feels bad for the past stuff so now it makes him irritated and depressed#my older brother is the most normal cis straight guy you can imagine and incredibly impatient and bossy (you CANNOT talk with him)#(brother doesnt live in our house)#and while hes helping out hes doing it exactly how my father doesnt like and since you cant talk to the guy (explosive +200) it stresses hi#to the point of my father yesterday saying that “it would have been better if i had just died back in the day”#likely referring to the time when he was drafted for the military against his will and tried to kill himself#which i learned only like .. a year ago- theres so little my parents tell me ....#its like my mother telling me- while my father was in hospital for heart surgery- that she not only almost died back when i was a young tee#and only survived bc of some incredibly unebelievable lucky coincidences (medics on a travel being there that knew what she had-#-while our local doctors said welp- nothing we can do lady AND them beign there with a helicopter and emergency transferring her#to antoher bigger hospital while giving her immediate treatment our local one didnt do- AND at the big one just so happened to have-#-an expert on that illness in the facility when she arrived who was able to narrrowly save her life#BUT ALSO while she was recovering and weak and frail as a dust bunny witnessing someone stealing hospital surplies-#not noticing she was in the room at first (which .. the nurses left her in the nurse room while going on break ... which uhm .. yeah cool)#and if my mother hadnt acted in time like she was fully asleep and the lady stealing stuff beign in hurry- she might have killed her#without my mother being able to fight back bc she could barely even talk (the nurses didnt want to believe her when they got back either)#ANYWAY that comment from my father brough me to tears#and my mom is trying out more ... other medication shes not prescribed in hopes of it helping agaisnt her many pains#but i worry it will interact with the other stuff shes on ...#and i worry so much about both of their mental and physical well being#always trying to be the one to calm them down or help with communication bc that is a big problem in this houesehold#but i myself am also a very much not normal and not medicated shut in who has trouble dealing even with my own feelings
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