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0nerd-at-heart0 · 4 years ago

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How We Got Here

not my gif

A/N: still working on other stories, but had a dream about this so I had to write it.

Steve Rogers x Reader

Word count: 1.6k

Warning: fluff and angst

You had an itch, a problem per se. You needed everyone to like you. So you tried really hard. To smile, be happy, be likable.

You never faced a problem of someone not liking you, at least not until recently. Not until you met the one and only Steve Rogers. Or how you liked to call him Mr. Perfect. Perfect in the way he smiles. Perfect in the way he cares. Perfect in the way he is America's golden boy. You two could have been friends. Maybe if the situation was different.

You joined the avengers not so long ago. With your training as an agent and your bad-ass powers of mind-control. You were the best candidate to join the elite superheroes. Besides all that you had a talent. A talent with technology.

Your obsession began when you accidentally broke your dad’s computer at the age of 12. You were so determined to put it back together before he could find out. In doing so you used some spare parts from your also broken Nintendo console and upgraded his computer. You were considered a prodigy from that point.

A plan was set for you. You were going to become a computer engineer. With the support of your parents, you continue your studies all through college. And a month before graduation Hydra found you.

They wanted you and they werent going to stop until they had you. Your parents so valiantly fought them. But at the end, they lost the battle and you, well you lost your parents.

Hydra had a hold of you. They experiment on you like crazy. You were going to be their new super weapon. As much as they tried to turn you. You wouldnt let them, you would be their rag doll to use and abuse. You weren’t about to let your parents die in vain for you to become a monster.

What felt like centuries of being locked up were actually a month. A month when Nick Fury came bursting in and saved you. After a much needed shower and sleep, Fury and you had a chat.

You didnt know how to repay him for what he had done for you, you should have chosen better words than that. Because sooner or later he was asking to train you, use your powers for good. How could you say no to the man who saved you?

Two years of training, Fury took you to meet the Avenger. You arent going to lie, you fangirled hard over them. They were all so welcoming. Even Steve.

Fury made it your new assignment to learn from them, which meant you were going to be staying in the compound.

It was a lot to get used to. You mostly stayed by Wanda’s side. Occasionally you and Peter would train together. Tony was more of a mentor. And Nat loved playing around with your powers. But Steve and you had never had a chance to interact other than the welcoming party.

You really wanted to be friends with him. There was so much you wanted to say but always bite your tongue when he’s around. A friendship could blossom or better yet could have.

The possibility of a relationship flew out the window when he overheard a conversation you had with Tony one early morning. You wanted to give the compound a technical upgrade. Including everyone suits and equipment. Tony was intrigued, not because he never thought of that because he has, but because of how bold you were.

You had so much faith in your skills and Tony respected that. He agreed to let you mess around with some of the equipment for starters. You were smiling, you were excited like a child who had too much candy and was on a sugar high. But that sugar high came crashing down as soon as Steve made his appearance.

How could you forget the conversation. The way he yelled.

“Excuse you! You can't just come in here and demand for change. Our dynamic works, it has worked for a while. I dont know who you think you are but you dont get to mess with our equipment and you certainly dont get to mess with MY team”

His voice rang throughout the whole compound and the image of his nostrils flaring as he yelled haunted you for weeks.

It still haunts you. You hate being yelled at. Tony told you to ignore him, that he is too “perfect” for his own good, but even all perfect people have their flaws and his way technology. Hence the name Mr. Perfect.

Tony and the rest of the gang kept encouraging your journey well all except Steve. Your fighting got better and you were proud to say you were finally in control of your power.

It was their pleasure to finally declare you one of them. As you all party Steve stood there scowling. Not even Bucky could wipe that scowl off his face as he had a mouth full of cherries.

You weren’t going to let him get the better of you. If he wanted to be snarky you would be snarky. If he wanted to be cold you would be cold.

That became your new routine. He pushed you, you pushed back harder. From bumps in the hallways to calling him Mr. Perfect every time you can.

The team thought you guys would get over this, that over time you two would learn to get along. But you were always at each other's throats. Missions become harder and harder when there’s a constant argument.

You werent like this. You knew that but that man was just too infuriating to do nothing about it.

Currently you were on a way back from a mission with Nat. You two were sent to stop a shipment of guns from being delivered. As smoothly as it was going, Steve was on the comms just nagging how it should have been him and Nat out there. You turned off your comms, knowing the earful you are going the get when you arrive back.

As you walked into the kitchen, there was Steve nursing a glass of what seemed to be bourbon and tapping his foot. You knew what was going to happen.

Nat made a B-line for her room, not wanting to hear the argument that's about to go down.

You stood in the middle of the room thinking of all the comebacks you can. Ready to fire at any moment. Steve stood up from his seat and made his way towards you. His jaw was set and his fists were clenched.

He stalked over you and you suddenly felt small. His stare was burning through you, you have never seen him like this. You looked down at your feet but Steve stopped that movement and he grabbed your chin with his hand forcefully to make you look at him.

With your chin in his hand he had a full view of your face. As he looked at you, his demeanor changed. The tension in his body was gone, the look on his face soften and the force in his hand was replaced with a gentle touch.

“ Who?”, he asked.

You were confused, “ who what?”

“ The bruise under your eye, who did that”, he asked, a little more annoyed this time.

He noticed the bruise? It's so small it doesnt even hurt, you forgot it even happened.

“ Oh, that bruise. The mob boss Sergio showed up. It surprised us and in our state of surprise he sucker punched me in the face and got away. But dont worry we got control of the shipment, we will get him eventually”, you stammer out.

He lets go of your face and takes out his phone. He turns around, “ Tony, yes it's me. Apparently Sergio, the mob boss got away. I need all focus on him, can you do that? Okay thanks!”

“ What was that”, you surprisingly ask.

His focus goes back to you, “ No one hurts my team and gets away with it”

He turns around to walk away. But stops in his tracks when he hears you murmur, “ You hurt me everyday with your words''

He goes back towards you. “ My words are never meant to hurt you, Y/N,”

“ But they have, since the moment we met. I let it happen but then I had enough and started to talk back. If one thing I learned from my parents is to always fight back”, you quietly stated. Looking down at your feet shifting weight from one foot to another.

All that energy to fight back was gone. You needed answers.

He grabbed your face, cradling it between his two hands. This time there was no force but it was a touch so soft, so warming, so welcoming.

“ No words can describe how sorry I am. I let my emotion get the better of me. You joined the team and you were everything I am not. The person I am is thanks to a serum. But you, you have it all. You have the strength, the smarts and the beauty”, he sincerely apologizes.

“ Beauty?” you question looking into his eyes. Using his eyes are filled with what looks like hate, but right now they are filled with something more, could it be love?

“ I dont deserve this but if you allow me”, he asks, leaning closer.

You know what he is asking and you too want it. The ball is in your court. You move your body closer to him and he takes that as an indication to smash his lips onto yours.

The kiss starts off rough, like you are in need of each other. But it becomes softer and more passionate. An apology in itself. Both of you cant and wont pull away. You were deprived of each other for so long.

Now you knew, Steve Rogers did like you. Maybe a little more than you would ever imagine.

#captain america #steve rogers #avengers #marvel #steve rogers x reader #captain america x reader #fanfic

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generalexcuse · 4 years ago

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Alright. I am beating a dead horse here but taking time off of this show and fandom did not work. This will be the last time I ever say something about it but it’s upsetting to me so I need to vent. And to everyone saying “You are an adult man and this is fiction, why are you so obsessed? Weirdo. Learn to differentiate between fiction and reality.” I am going to address these notions as well as other problems I am having here. But really, Inuyasha was one of my first Anime, I have many dear memories and especially Rin was one of my all time favourite characters. Seeing her being mistreated like this upsets me. Ofc it does because if you watch something in formative years it’s not just fiction like a boring sitcom you watch now. Shows and characters are important to people and to simply dismiss it like that even if they would have been equally upset if it wouldnt have become canon, is infuriating. Really this is just therapeutic for me because even after weeks it’s still so baffling to me. Also please excuse the grammar and spelling mistakes. I am not a native speaker.

So the problem is obviously Sessrin and how it’s done because while I absolutely dont agree with this pairing, it would have been fine if it wasnt like it is.

In the original show, Rin is an 8 yo child and her entire character reflects just that. She behaves like a child and depends on others. She has also been traumatized, doesnt speak at the beginning of the show and dies twice. Both times she is saved by or because of Sesshomaru. In many ways, while she has survival skills on her own, she depends on his presence alone to keep danger away. He also leaves her with trustworthy humans at the end but stays in her life as a protector. Now I like the original dynamic. It’s sweet, innocent and both characters grow because of it. Rin can work through her traumatic experiences, learns to trust others and Sesshomaru becomes a better person. What happens afterwards only happens offscreen right until Rin gives birth to his children at the crippling old age of 15. 15. My lil sis is 16 now and couldnt consent to something like that. And she is mature af. It’s ridiculous. My blood boils just typing that shit out. And if you give me the ‘it’s legal in Japan’ excuse. In Germany a 14 yo can be with a 20 yo sexually. Still not okay in societies eyes and on tv it’s never shown as something positive. It’s even explicitly forbidden for authority figures like teachers or protectors to be with their protégé before the age of 18 because the chances of even unintentional grooming are too high.

Now lets take a quick break and discuss how this kind of relationship usually plays out in other fictional pieces. A minor with an adult is something that is being portrayed at times and I dont have a problem with that. The problem is how it’s being done in Yashahime. And I dont mean the nonexisting character development but the fact that even in adult fiction this type of relationship isnt depicted positively. And this show is for young adults and teens that will exist way after all the discourse as the official sequel to Inuyasha. A cult anime. Meaning that in the future young people will watch it. Just like many still watch Inuyasha to this day. It’s on Netflix for fucks sake. Just to preface what comes next. Some people say, “But cant you differentiate between reality and fiction?!?!?!” Adults can but younger people havent developed this ability to the same extent. What happened to Rin was statutory r*pe in the USA, illegal even in Germany and should have been depicted as such unless the showrunners and fandom are okay with watching it without criticism or deconstruction. At best it was done with the intention to please the fanbase but really it’s neglectful to anyother part of the present and future audience. Not even most Animes do that. And I get that Sessriners arent into that shit in real life and an adult show could have gone this route because the viewers understand and add the criticism in their heads. Not ideal but whatever to me. But a YA show to go this route is so wrong on so many levels. The younger viewer who will watch this show in the following years might subconsciously internalize that this is acceptable under certain conditions when it’s not criticized properly on the show. That lowers their alertness when an adult actually starts to groom them. How dense do you have to be to assume that the lack of criticism on this YA show is a good thing?? Not everyone who will ever watch this show is an adult or capable of the same reasoning.

But another thing: for the same reason r*pe isnt depicted in a positive light, these types of relationships arent either. Because it’s not a positive thing and most people and showrunners dont want to see or create it as positive. Even in adult fiction, even in other anime, the media critizes and deconstructs what it’s showing because normally the showmakers dont approve but show it for realisitc or dramatic reasons. the same sessrin storyline would fit a fucking horror or thriller series. Just change the music and show it all. No showmakers in their right mind would go “Aye we got a r*pe scene coming up, lets put romantic music and have a pink filter over it.” “But it’s a different time and culture!” People will say and I agree but to have the audacity to assume that back then it was okay or that in todays Japan it’s okay, is fucked up. Think about it for a second. That’s so fucked up to think. Even if the society back then or in Japan thinks it’s okay, does it make it okay? 15 yo girls werent able to consent to adults and bear their children back then. They had to. They were raised with the expectations and they simply grew up thinking that it was the normal thing. But that doesnt make it right. That’s just societal grooming which did not prepare them in any way or allowed them the human dignity that they would have deserved. To now act like it’s all cool to just show the “positive” aspects or to twist it into something positive is so fucked up. Child Brides are a fucked up concept and to portray it as anything else is fucked up and also undermines the experience many girls still have to make. period.

I heard people say that it’s okay to portray it in this way because “Sesshomaru is not human!!!1″ and that’s correct. He is not. BUT, it’s not about being human but about maturity, consens, and independency. Him being a yokai makes it worse imo because there is an obvious power discrepancy. But in this particular fiction a good relationship could have been established (Kagome and Inuyasha for example) on those foundations but they did not because I can only assume they wanted Sesshomaru to smash and the show to pick up at a point where the other characters arent too old to be cool.

“What’s with Sango and Miroku, Kagome and Inuyasha?? It’s the same!” No it’s not. Rin was 8 at the beginning of the show. Kagome was 15 and Sango was 16-17 when they met their significant others. If you now tell me that you think 8 to be comparable to 15-17, I must ask you to get a reality check. Kagome’s and Sango’s relationships were slowburns starting when they already were able to have sexual and romantical feelings. Rin was a child. And Kagome did not kiss Inuyasha until they knew each other for a long ass period of time and bonded as friends and maybe more. Sesshomaru and Rin never were friends in the same way that Kagome and Inuyasha were because the maturity levels are way off. No adult is friends with a little child in the same way they are friends with their adult friends. And normally you dont grow into such a friendship but in the rare case you do, it’s not when she is 15 but maybe 20 or 25.

Last but not least, Rin is not a character to the audience the same way Kagome or Sango are. Why? Because she was never shown as an adult or 3 Dimensional character to the audience. We know her as a child who wants to be with her trusted group. She is naive, but tough and doesnt have any motivation or drive on her own outside her group. Like every child she clung to the adults around her and her world outside of this group was nonexisting. Kagome wanted to be successful in school, Sango was a demon hunter and wanted to find her brother. Those are motivations and traits that dont circle around the love interest. Rin never had those because she was not developed to that point. Because she was a child and her entire existence was to develop Sesshomaru and to perhaps give the viewer a character to simply adore. What we see is of her: Mistreated child, -> Dead child -> Child being looked after and healing, -> Child not being homeless anymore -> ????? -> Teenager getting knocked up, pumping out main characters and then getting yeeted into a tree.

This is not the way you treat a beloved character. There is no dignity to her character. “But she is fictional!!1″ Yes she is. But please show me a show that treats its child characters like this without criticizing it.

I would have loved to see her grow as her own person. Go on her own adventures or learning a craft or developing meaningful bonds with other characters her age. Forming ideas that dont revolve around Sesshomaru alone. You know her being 3 Dimentional and not just there to pump out main characters. And if she then with 20 or 25 met Sesshomaru again and thought he was the hottest shit, I would have been fine with it. Not happy but fine. But in the little time we saw her as ‘not a child’, she still behaved the way she did before.

#anti sessrin

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owlf45 · 4 years ago

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Hello! I hear you're a twin, what's it lile being a twin? My first kids are twins and they're about to turn 1 soon, any advice for them? (Or us as the parents?) Also, I love all of your AU's, can't wait to read more!

oh my gosh this is literally. so sweet. im so glad to have received this ask. also early happy birthday for them!!! as for my thoughts about what its like being a twin: i mean, i dont have a lot? its hard to explain. i never remember that i have one. its the equivalent of having a sibling who’s the same age as you, i guess? except youre always around one another and you can never seem to get away from the other. its constant contact all the time. youre always hearing about whats up with them and whatever. and i mean its cool to think about, and its nice if youre taking the same class bc you know whats for homework and you can ask each other about stuff, but it can get pretty frustrating from time to time. there are times it feels like having someone you know you can be with that you can rely on since theyre often there. other times? not so much. as for advice, i hope youre ready for an absolute doozy bc i have a lot of thoughts on the subject (obviously all my opinions and experiences). ill be referring to my sibling as “squirrel” (and myself owl) since they heavily associate with that name. i am going to try not to mention a lot of their capabilities and instead talk about myself for their privacy, but know that theyre incredibly talented and amazing, i just wont talk about those unless i get their explicit permission. also i might add some more later! i’ll ask my mom about it.

also i deeply apologize for being repetitive here, i’m simply rambling without thought and i didnt organize this too well haha. and if you dont make it to the end i just want to say that people arent mean, they just have a child-like ignorance that can sometimes come across as insensitive.

so i’ll start with the parents

1. when first enrolling them into school (unless youre planning to homeschool them) i would talk with them about moving them into different classes when they’re entering grade school. (my parents did this with me in first or second grade.) it sounds weird and even mean, but this is absolutely important to do for several reasons. one, this gives both of them an opportunity to form their own connections with different people, and allow them to have stable relationships outside of one another. i find it a little frustrating to see media often stick twins together (especially fraternal twins) and make them so closely aligned that they’re inseparable. (see harry potter and ouran high school host club for popular examples.) this is absolutely how twins grow dependent on one another, and it simply isnt great, especially bc as children most likely than not they do not get along. things can get toxic pretty quick. separation also allows them to develop different interests, talk with different people, and avoid the inevitable bossing one another around. (kids like to embellish, and they cant do that when their twin is hovering over their shoulder, or telling them what to do 24/7, or grating on their nerves. i am at fault for this for doing this to squirrel a lot at a young age, and it strained our relationship.) granted, its good to have overlapping friendships, and keeping one another entirely separate isnt great either, but twins spend a GROSS amount of time together as it is. let them flourish in their own environments where they aren’t scared of being themselves or constantly with their twin, who they absolutely will have arguments with. let them find hobbies, books, TV shows, etc. exclusive to them. let them be themselves before being a twin. 2. please dont compare them. this should go for all siblings but you would not believe the amount of comparison i (and squirrel) constantly faces on a day-to-day basis. its frustrating and its stupid, and its enhanced by the fact that we are in very similar environments with very similar groups of people and are of the same age. twins will inevitably come to the fact that friends, outside family members, teachers, principals, guidance counselors, etc. will compare their looks, personality, attitudes, mentalities, and effort in the class or on the field. there will always be comments like (if they arent fraternal) “omg you guys dont look alike. i never wouldve suspected!” or “jeez youre so much smarter than your twin” or, my most hated, “you guys don’t act alike at all!” it is constant, and at times it’s inescapable. id suggest keeping home an environment where comparison is kept little to none. it has caused severe insecurities in both squirrel and i. they’re excellent at so many things im not, and the same goes in reverse. the comparison has made us feel incredibly inferior (although they would never admit it) bc we arent recognized for the stuff we’re good at, but rather what the other is. if one of your kids learns at a different rate, isnt as “good” at something as the other, joins a hobby later than the other, doesn’t perform as well at some kind of craft, try not to compare the other. encourage both and remind them that theyre improving, rather than reminding them about their pesky sibling’s accomplishments. friendly competition is good from time to time, but it sucks when you want to invest in something when your sibling is already really good at it. (for example, squirrel is starting to do art and writing, both of which ive been doing for a long time, and they constantly compare themself to me. this is not a mentality you want to bestow upon your kids.) 3. “oh yes, this is my kid, they’re gay!” “oh yes, this is my child, they have adhd!” “oh yes, this is my child, theyre someone with disability!” “oh yes, this is my child, theyre trans!” “oh yes, this is my child, theyre adopted!” this shouldnt sound right because it isnt. or: please, my dear loving parent, dont introduce your kids to every new person with, “oh yes, this is my kid, they’re a twin! here is their twin!” because it’s not a personality trait and if used constantly it brings with it a handful of insecurities that you are nothing more than a trophy of good luck and genes and that you are nothing without your twin and its not fun. instead, if youre going to introduce them, talk about what they like, what hobbies theyre invested in, or even just say, “here’s my kid, here’s their brother/sister/etc”. they deal with that knowledge all the time. your kids will absolutely talk about being a twin if they want someone to know, but you dont have to do it for them. its a little hard to escape if theyre fraternal, but if not it should ultimately be the kids’ choice if they want to broadcast that information to the world. it can also come across as demeaning depending on the context. 4. being a twin isnt earth shattering. its like the sky is blue. i lived with squirrel my entire life, its not like i one day realized how amazing it is. try and minimize other people’s rude nosiness and never-ending questions, bc the experience was always there and theres a chance they probably dont know what its like to not be a twin. its the equivalent of speaking spanish your whole life and someone randomly coming up to you and going woah you speak spanish??? thats amazing, whats it like? also people seem to think that because youve met a twin youre allowed to ask very personal questions, like: i might be a genetic anomaly but im human not a storybook. so if ever in the situation and your kids seem uncomfortable, i’d try and change the subject. 5. dont fetishize it and stay away from people who do. my previous school had a website, and the first slideshow you saw on their front page was a collage of all the fraternal twins they hosted—all professional photography too btw—who were usually around the age of 6. meaning they most likely didnt consent to it. its gross, and the fact that it was only fraternal twins disgusts me. there are also so many comments about “oh my god too bad you dont look more alike” and that is. gross. so gross.

6. Twins are not a unit. They are two people from the same birth, and that is it.

Also, I don’t know why so many people are surprised when twins act differently, or when they don’t spend that much time together, but try and encourage them to ignore the amount of comments of “wow you don’t act alike!” if there was an age gap no one would be too surprised, yet when youre twins, people expect you to be incredibly similar. and in ways we are, but it feels like youre under pressure to suppress that similarity just so you’re recognized that you’re your own person.

a little note: this habit of suppressing similarity, i think, is what causes the whole “twins are complete opposites” theme. the dichotomous expectations for twins to either be practically the same person or complete opposites will come up, and just remember to try not to project that image onto your kids. appreciate both no matter how differently/similarly they end up developing.

7. under that note, encourage your kids to find different environments and places to be. again, they’ll spend a gross amount of time with one another, so its important to give them a time and place where they can get away from one another. also remember to share praise with them equally, because a school system wont.

for example, i tend to be very academically-favored in my education system. squirrel is more focused in other areas, and because of that i was awarded for that more than them by our school. that doesnt make them lesser, theyre far better than me at so many things (that again i cant share) but it really sucks because along with all the other teenage angst you have and all the rampant emotional hormones, it can make insecurities well up real fast. (this too can make twins feel down, especially during college admission season, which is an experience a friend of mine has had.) also, squirrel’s friends tend to tell squirrel that they’re the “mistake twin” (since obviously one of us weren’t planned). its a joke, and they always laugh, but sometimes it sticks. i have to make just as many “im the mistake twin” jokes to “even it out”, which i shouldnt have to do. little reminders that both twins are appreciated go a long way. 8. even though you should encourage your kids’ differences, its important to let their relationship develop and to do things together. squirrel and i bonded as kids a lot over shows, series, etc. danny phantom, minecraft series, anime, other cartoons, games, youtube channels—they’re a great way to sit down and share interests. let them do activities together, go out with one another, go on bike rides, read books together (wings of fire is a great series btw, we bonded over that too.) just things that can allow them to connect.

i know a lot of what i said was to encourage the diminishing of the “twin unit” label, but it’s okay to let yourself (and especially your kids) to enjoy what it has to offer. have discussions with friends, talk about why it’s cool, make all sorts of jokes! (squirrel and i are ying and yang, for example.) i just want to emphasize the importance of recognizing individuality.

9. encourage open discussion as much as possible. unfortunately this was not the case for me as a kid, and even today squirrel and I suffer from a dysfunctional relationship because we cant talk about shit feowmiow. its frustrating, especially because whenever they expressed them (i could be bossy and dismissive, squirrel just wanted me to hang out with them and do literally anything with them even though i never did; i always wanted to help them whenever they didn’t understand something, but they always thought i was being condescending) it ended up in a screaming match. please encourage them to talk about their stuff because my whole family cant and its especially rough between squirrel and i because of this fiewofmwo. (this note also goes for parents! make sure they know that they can talk to you if something is upsetting you, about anything really, but know that even talking about “twin problems” is important.) 10. this is going to sound stupid but your kids are going to go to a lot of different hobbies and i suggest having a “family schedule” bc having twins means there’s a lot going on, usually at once. remember to try and share responsibility of who drives whom where and at what time, or who has what appointment and at what time. its a hassle, and it was incredibly stressful for my mom, who did 99% of it. it was a lot on her.

11. and since it’s on my mind! please make it very clear that its not okay to steal your sibling’s homework if you’re in the same class the day before it’s due to copy down all the answers without their knowledge after they’ve spent a week on it tirelessly gathering all the information themselves. (yes squirrel has done this several times, yes i got really peeved at them, no my parents didnt do anything about it and the behavior continued and it pissed me off fbeuoweifow)

12. since this is for you, you wonderful parent, i wish you luck and love! its a great experience raising twins. remember that there will be lots of fights but i appreciate you and youre doing amazing.

13. i know from what ive said it seems like people are just. mean but it mostly comes from a place of child-like ignorance! people are so kind and excited about it that sometimes they forget that we’re merely people. since twins are rare it feels like no one talks about it, and i just want to prevent all the things ive experienced from going over your head like it did my own parents. having twins is absolutely awesome and it should be something to be excited about! it just happens that the expectations we’ve created of twins can come across as insensitive from people. dont feel too overwhelmed, most of the twin-related stuff almost immediately becomes old news once you’ve settled in one environment. people stop talking about it as soon as they know about it. once the questions and introductions stop, discussions of being a twin becomes the tiniest portion of a twin’s life feowfmeio for the kids! its much the same and obviously it doesnt apply much since theyre so young, but i wanted to say it anyway for when they’re older. sorry if it gets a little repetitive: 1. dont feel pressured to be change your interests and talents if they are incredibly similar/drastically different from your twin. just be you! 2. also dont be discouraged from doing something you love or something you want to do because your twin might be involved. fail, mess up at something they’re good at, etc., it’s okay! remember to look at your growth rather than theirs. 3. whenever it gets hard talk it out! share your feelings! 4. even if youre not as popular, or as academically inclined, or as athletic, or as creative as the other, that doesnt make you any lesser than the other 5. when faced with comments that make you uncomfortable, stand strong, and also talk with your friends if they do so! tell them why, they will understand

6. enjoy all the perks of being a twin!! dont feel ashamed of it, have fun, talk about why you like having a twin! remember that it doesnt diminish your individuality.

here’s a little portion of the advice i got from a good friend of mine, who is also a twin with a bit of different experience:

i hope this helps! i apologize for overloading haha

#my asks #asks #Squirrel sib

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obeymematches · 4 years ago

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Hewwo when you have the time can I pwease get a matchup uwu

He/him-entp

Personality: I'm loud and outgoing, its easy for me to make friends with people and I love meeting new people. I've been told I'm good at forging bonds and bringing people together. People call me brave, I think I'm really just stupid reckless and careless which IS true but hey I'm not complainin if ppl wanna call that brave. I'm willing to put myself in danger to help others too, this uh. Isnt smart, I'm not smart. But if the people I care for are safe and happy then I dont mind what happens to me B) I'm also great with animals, I dont like taking things too seriously and often make (bad) jokes in tense situations. That being said I know when to stop if it's a genuinely serious situation.

That being said my worst traits are that I'm arrogant, sadistic, stubborn, lowkey hotheaded, untrusting to a debilitating degree, I can come across as genuinely scary unfortunately:( and I'm clumsy

My interests and hobbies are: true crime, the occult, drawing I guess, taking care of animals and helping lost pets find their homes, taking naps, dream interpretation, causing misery for my shitty father, binging horror stuff and crying over video games

What I look for in a partner is kindness, someone I can relate to? I dunno as long as they arent genuinely mean.

What I have to offer is uh. Ok be patient with me! I dont know relationships very well so if this is worded weird sorry.

Anyway I just want to be there for someone, i want to be able to protect someone and make them smile, nothing ever makes my day more than seeing someones face light up ! If anyone hurts them I'm gonna hurt that person twice as bad, and if they dont want me to I'll just be with them and do everything in my power to make sure they're ok. I want them to feel safe with me and know that I love them for THEM and not some facade or anything too. If they wanna go somewhere I wanna take them there! I want to listen to them talk about their favourite thing for hours on end, I would do anything and everything in my power for that person. Ok that's a lie if they wanted me to hurt an animal I wouldnt do that but I'd take on like. A spider for them.

Anyway thanks for your time sorry if this was too much, if you ever need anything else I'll call myself -💥 anon so just give me a yell and I'll do my best to help

Hi anon! ✨

I’ll put a read more because this is gonna be long!

Okay so as I read your request I was hesitating between Mammon and Diavolo but I decided to choose Diavolo because regarding some aspects it would be a real missed opportunity/wasted potential to pick Mammon over him!

Ok so you start with your talent of forging bonds and if you ever played this game then you know that Diavolo is all about exactly that - meaning you will be a real asset to him which is the base of a strong relationship! (dw i’ll elaborate on why he is also an asset to you in the following paragraphs you are not about to be left hanging)

The fact that you are so friendly instantly catches his attention. I’m talking the moment he sees you kind of infatuation here. idk he just. senses it from a mile away that you are quality

I imagine your reckless tendencies get you into some serious situations which might also be dangerous. But worry no more, my friend! Diavolo would be the kind of partner who joins you in your fun and he might out-do you in such occassions but just keep this in mind: he is a powerful and strong demon so if anyone can get you out of trouble / keep you safe on a not-totally-thought-over adventure, it’s gotta be him. No other candidate in the game could compare and give you this balance.

Also he is very keen on sponaneity (as much as his schedule can allow him) so you got that going for you too!

Okay so since you want to keep him safe too, this relationship is just two ppl who protecc except you can also attacc

come to think of that, I’m not sure if he would really encourage that and the “if someone hurts them i hurt them twice as much” behaviour as he is just a prince who wants peace with everyone. but growing together is fun!

I can totally see you two joking around all the time, lowkey driving Barbatos close to insanity in the castle, but! that means you also have a friendship with Diavolo! so he is not just your lover or partner but also your best friend who you can joke around with or be with through serious situations. this relationship isn’t just about being in a relationship but actually making the most of what a healthy relationship can offer

Now i think Diavolo can handle your sarcastic and arrogant side of you pretty well. looking at his bond with Lucifer I’m pretty sure he would have no issues with it

Being stubborn isn’t always bad - as long as he knows your intentions mean well there’s nothing wrong. Clumsy shouldn’t be a turn off either as long as you don’t mind him laughing it off

I think he is also rather selective about trusting others - he might complain about being lonely but deep down he knows he can’t just trust anyone.

Don’t worry, you definitely never come accross as scary to him. Even if you try hard.

OK so if i didn’t only dream it then he keeps rescued animals (cats) in the castle so this is something you two could bond over and this would also help in building trust!

Something else to bond over is your shitty fathers. I’m almost sure Diavolo’s insecurities stem from that and that’s why he and Lucifer are such close friends. You are part of that club now!

He is one of the candidates who does his best to indulge in his s/o’s hobbies, though as I said his time is rather limited. I don’t think he would have any excuses for not liking horror stuff, video games, etc.

ok i’m pretty sure i already elaborated on how you two can relate to each other, in addition i want to emphasize that he is one of the kindest characters in the game as of now so he has that going for him

From what I can tell from your offerings in a relationship, it is safe to say that you are more than willing to be there for him when he is going though insecure periods of his day/week/month/year so that is something he can appreciate. The fact that you mention loving someone for them and not for their facade speaks volumes in his case - he had to turn down many marriage proposals in order to protect himself and his future kingdom. I think it goes without saying why some people would marry him without actually knowing him. 🤴🤑

#obey me #obey me swd #obey me diavolo #obey me matchup #om! diavolo #obey me shall we date

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jensenackle · 4 years ago

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so, falling in love? the greatest thing in the world. makes u feel invencible like you could swallow the entire world raw and nobody could stop you. You'd like to think you could go on and on forever talking about love but its been so long you dont even remember anymore

getting your heart broken? well that is something. at first you feel like its the end of the world. And you know what? it kinda is. not in the "im going to die because of this" way, but instead, its like you wake up from the haze and reality hits you in the chest so damn hard it takes your breath away. it is raw and the most painful thing in the world, to think the person you trusted and loved more than anyone just betrayed your trust and stabbed you in the back. its not that they're unfaithful the thing that hurts, not entirely, but rather that they knew it would hurt you, and they did it all the same. and then lied about it. And you know damn well that once you start telling lies you can never stop and now you're like a snowball tumbling down getting bigger as the moments pass by, but its all gonna come crashing down inevitably. its losing the trust you had put in that person and now you cant even believe your etes because nothing seems true anymore. Is the sky really blue? The grass green? Or am i just blind to the truth?

trying to work things out means forgiveness and apologies and forgetting and getting over. it truly means turning the page around, period. there's no other way, you can't bend this to work like you'd like. Because that's when things get ugly. And i mean really fucking ugly and you feel like you've lost yourself because suddenly you're acting like you've never have before, like you said you never would. And its new and terrifying and so bad and ugly you're scared you're stepping into the darkest version of you and you don't even recognize yourself.

you start asking yourself questions, like what have they done to me? but also what have i allowed people to turn me into? and also why? Mostly why. And you can't wrap your head around this, because life was like a bliss and you felt divine but now you feel like someone's attached an anchor to your ankle and thrown you to the deepest ocean and youre sinking and drowning and struggling, and you know life changes fast but why did it have to change to this? did i really deserve it?

but you didn't deserve it. The betrayal and feeling like dying and the depression and that one time when you first stepped outside your house in the aftermath, after weeks of being in bed and not sleeping at all barely eating and crying yourself to sleep, and you couldn't keep the tears from falling or the sobs from coming out your mouth because you were overwhelmed. You didnt deserve it, and you werent responsable for that either. None of it was your fault, and maybe the guilt of "what if i had done anything different?" will leave your body someday.

But it was them. They're the ones that screwed you over and then claimed to love you. You can understand now, though, that they're humans because we all are and we all make mistakes. But you can't forgive, him treating you like a fool and lying and going behind your back. You've never forgotten nor forgiven. And you had to get back at him didn't you? Had to have your revenge.

But he didn't deserve it either and that eats you up but you wont do anything about it because its not your place to do so. Because you'll try to justify yourself but you were in the wrong. Tried to convince yourself you were over and done, could fall in love again, and he wasnt a rebound. Nope, not all. He was the real thing. But you know now you were lying to yourself back then. He was convenient. And willing. And you kinda liked but you know he liked you a lot so you took advantage. I know its no fair putting it in those words, its not like you were conscious about what you were doing, so far down in denial, but its what you did anyway and now you have to own up to it. Now youve hurt a lot of people and yourself too, some didnt deserve it and some did, just because you tried to cover up your feelings. How did that work out for you, baby girl?

Getting back with an ex is a big no-no, you've learnt your lesson or you're starting to, trying to, wanting to. Because the shit thats in the past should fucking stay in the past. Its there for a reason anyway, digging it up will amount to nothing eventually. And im talking about feelings and emotions and situations and friendships and lovers. The whole deal. Whats dead should say well, dead. It died right? And trying to bring it back to life will make it morph into something new. But if youre lucky, like really fucking lucky, the new thing will be good and bright and beautiful. But if youre like me? Luck has never been on our side. And now the zombie will try to please you and you'll try to please him too until you find yourself reaching for the shotgun and pointing it right to them while they're coming for you.

Because the new is gonna be so exciting at first, like you've been missing out on life all the time you've been away from them like you finally can breath. But then the spell is over and reality hits you and guess what? It's ugly, obviously. It always was but you just didnt wanna see it but now the curtain is up and the blindfold is gone and you have to go and confront yourself and tell yourself the truth.

It'll be ages till you listen though. Denial, again. I kinda feel like that's become our thing. And nasty little habit, that is. And even when you finally start to listen, you will withdraw again. Reach out for the cover again. Because the truth is ugly and painful and you dont want that. You dont want to believe your fairytale love doesnt get happy ending, probably never will. And it will come crashing down and burning, like it has in the past, like you've so desperately tried to avoid. No one wants to face that

But life is what it is whether you like it or not and avoiding the inevitable will only make things harder and thats right - uglier. But maybe if you could hold on into that last bright thing... maybe you could fix it all. But you know you can't.

Too much shit has happened now. You've got baggage now. Not that you didn't have it before from your insecurities and years of teenage depression but it wasnt like this. Never like this. Back then you didn't like your self but you trusted your convictions and rules and now that you've done all the shit you said you wouldn't, who are you now? What do you believe in anymore? Do you believe in anything? Now you second guess.

You would have jumped had he asked. Would have done anything for him, and it sounds pretty but it isn't and you've lost yourself so damn deep you're never finding that again so it would be better to rebuild from scratch, right? But now you're longing and nostalgic for who you were, and what it was and how you felt. Like walking on clouds.

But then it hits you and you feel like you can't even breath: you don't feel like that anymore. And even if you want to turn your head away from this you can't. And now you have to do something. You owe it to yourself, after all. Can't waste more of her heart and time.

And it's a slow path. Bunch of rocks in the way. It's hard to walk and you keep turning back but keep walking forward because it's the only thing to do, even if you want to go back, and you want, but you cant. Hoping that you wont. Even if it hurts. For you.

And here we are at the end of things. The end of the world. The world you built for yourself and him that no longer will be and everything will die with it, the inside jokes and knowing each other and the old memories and the new memories and everything in between. Breaking up, if it was true love, will feel like dying because parts of you will (the ones you were with him and the ones he takes with you) and will feel like the world is shattering around you because it is.

Falling out of love? Not as fun as falling in. But you learn more. Lose a lot more than just people, but you lose perspective on the beauty of life and of love. Especially love. You become bitter and cynical. You desperately want to view life bright again because now it feels as if someone dimmed the lights. And at the same time you want to embrace the new thoughts. Arent sure which one is the bad and which the good, or if there is a good or bad at all, and now you're confused and conflicted.

It takes time. I'm still trying to figure out.

#txt #personal #october 2020 #22 years old #i just kinda summed up the last three years of my life here #private diary

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gayspock · 4 years ago

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search for spock post 2 bc i sincerely would not shut up this time

- this entire breakout scene oh my god im going to lose it

- LIKE ITS SO DELICIOUS. KIRK GOING IN THERE. PUNCHING THE GUARD. COMING OUT, PERFECTLY TIMED, TO SULU KNOCKING THAT DUDE AND JUST BODYING HIM. DONT CALL ME TINY, HE SAYS. IN THAT FUCKING LEATHER JACKET THING.

- i actually , again, must say: kirk notwithstanding, i do really love the outfits. omg.

- NO SHUTUP THIS ENTIRE SEQUENCE. SCOTTY BEING A LITTLE BITCH. AND NO LESS. NO LESS AT NO LESS- MISS UHURA!

might i say her hair is so gorgeous in this she is in general my god

fuck it up fuck it up fuck it up fuck it up fuck it up fuck it up fuck it up fuck it up

- HOLY SHIT THE DREAM TEAM ARE REALLY DOING THIS. THEYRE REALLY KIDNAPPING OUR GIRL, THE ENTERPRISE. LEGENDS. ABSOLUTE FUCKING LEGENDS.

- SINCERELY THOUGH IT IS SO FUNNY THEY HAVE TO GET THE ENTERPRISE I GET IT SHE’S PROBABLY THE ONLY GAL THAT CAN GET OUT THERE AND DO WHAT THEY NEED BUT LITERALLY ALSO THE DRAMA OF IT ALL

- no but hang on the entire energy of this im so happy and smiling so big at all of them coming together and theyre such a mess theyre like lowkey ruining all their careers but theyre a little family and theyre going to save SPOCK , theyre going to help MCCOY and i only just watched tmp , like, a few hours ago so im thinkin abt him arriving and not saying anything and everyon bein like okie dokie... BUT NO. THEY ALL LOVE. CARE HIM. CARE EACH OTHER.

- BABY SPOCK?

- But I was so caught up in the euphoria of found family (in space) antics, that I forgot about the Klingons

- i also keep forgetting that david is straight up kirk’s son. what the honest to god fuck.

- there’s a lot happening int hsi whole thing but it doesnt feel unbalanced at all frankly like i said im having a whale of a time its just taking me so long to watch bc i keep pausing to go apeshit and speaking of

- i jinxed it you will not be dealing with pon farr in this movie. i will not allow it. hard no.

- FRIENDSHIP ENDED WITH SEARCH FOR SPOCK. I HATE IT HERE NOW.

- ABSOLUTELY NOT THE TIME AND THE PLACE, BUT: since you now are making it pretty obvious that vulcan hand business is like that and you had kirk and spock with their hands pressed through the glass at each other. uh well you know what you did, star trek. we both know what you did.

- also may i ask. what is the point of a red alert thing if there’s, like, 4 of you here.

- why, when james t. kirk was put onscreen on the klingon ship, did he whip his ass round like that. sir who’s it for! the klingons arent going to fuck you!

- congrats kirk. you had a son for, like, less than a week.

BASTARD?

- HI DID HE TELL ANYONE. I CANT TELL. EVERYONES JUST UFKCING STARING AT HIM HAVING A LITTLE MELTDOWN.

- OH DEAR GOD THEYRE DOING THE DESTRUCT SEQUENCE THING NO STOP IT THE STRESS I HATE IT

- ARE THEY ACTUALLY GOING TO BLOW IT UP WHY AM I SO SO SAD ABOUT THAT LIKE NOO @ ME IT’S A FAKE SHIP ITS FINE EVEN IF IT WAS RTEAL WHO CARES BUT NOOOOOOOOOOO I LOVE HER I LOVE THE ENTERPRISE YOU CANT KILL MY GIRL NOOOO

BUT I LVOEHER I BUT IM ATTACHED TO THE FAKE LITTLE VEHICLE IT’S HOME . SICK OF IT.

- god. scotty, bones, kirk and sulu all standing at the top of the hill and staring into the sunset as the enterprise burns up... its so fucking sad and beautiful shut up man im going to cry dont LOOK AT ME IM FUCKING EMBARASED IM SICK OF IT I RECOGNSIE BUT IM

- DID KIRK JUST KNEE THE KLINGON IN HIS KLINGDONG

GOING TO SCREAM

- GIVING THIS DUDE THE BOOT TO THE HEAD AND YELLING “I. HAVE. HAD. ENOUGH. OF YOU.” AND THEN KICKING HIM OFF A CLIFF AND INTO BURNING LAVA MISTER KIRK I AM A LITTLE OBSESSED

- IMAGINE IF THE WORLD WAS BURNING AND COLLAPSING AROUND YOU AND YOU WERE HANGING ONTO THE EMPTY BODY OF YOUR DEAR, DEAREST FRIEND WHO YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD LOST FOREVER

- sincerely though there’s something about it all. the way they burnt down their careers; the way the enterprise burnt; the way genesis burnt... everything is burning... the fire cleansing... what does it all mean... i dont know girls but im a little weepy and its silly again

- “ i dont deserve to live.” “fine. i’ll you later. :/” ME TO ME

- c’cmon boys.... c’mon

- “who is the keeper of the katra?” (voice breaking) “I A-AM.” BONES.

“at what cost? your ship? your son?” “the cost owuld have been my soul” AGAIN. KIRK. MISTER! LIKE- jesus fucking christ my, man.

dont even BEGIN DON TOUCH TME

LOOK AT THS SHIT AND THEN HIM TURNING LOVINGLY TO KIRK, TO JIM....THE WAY HIS EYEBROWS SHOOT UP AND KIRK JSUT SMILES AT HIMA ND THEYR E ALL HAPPY AND THEYRE ALL TOGETHER AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERES NOT THE ENTERPRISE NOT ANYHTING ITS JUST THW98AUF0DPSGJSDGOPSDGJSDGGS THE NEEDS OF THE ONE. OH MY FUCKING GOD.

SHUT UP GIRLS IM FINISHED EMOTIONALLY SPEAKING

#egg.txt #in the other liveblogs it took me until like #last 10-20 minutes before i had to split the post #this time im not even half way through #STAR TREK LIVEBLOG #CAN REPORT THIS SENT ME UP THE WALL

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edge-lorde · 5 years ago

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hp update: its been a long time, boys. ud think that with this plague outbreak id have more time for shitty phone games, and ud be right! however, the time i normally might use to make tumblr posts has been taken up by reading lotr orc fanfiction non-stop for at least 1 full month. id still be in the thick of that obsession even now if only the fics would update. that is how i find you today folks, for the first time in many weeks i am staring at a screen with nothing to do. so come with me friends, theres no better way to fill the soulless void we are all in than reading a nice long tumbler post.

disclaimer, first of all, a lot has happened, i prefer to keep these updates as plot spoiler free as possible but do to extenuating circumstances i feel like it is necessary to say, [SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER BELOW]

that rowan fucking died,

i wont say exactly how, but i will say that her death was animated as were animations of myself and a few others reacting to our friend fresh corpse. obviously meant to be serious moments but the animations made it seem almost comical.

i saw at least one post going around right after this update that was like ‘how could the game devs do this to us..... how could they hate rowan so.... this is punishment from on high’ and its like.... u guys do know what a story is right? the events of a story are not typically done to punish less faithful fans, im pretty sure they were planning to kill rowan off from the beginning. this isnt disney im pretty sure the writers are not writing each chapter the night before its released by popular vote.

that little “are we drifting away..?” scene with rowan makes more sense now. there was a bit in one of the scenes where the kids all reminisce on rowans life and the mc talks about it being the last real one on one time they had with rowan. a nice bitter sweet moment. i dont hate this turn of events. its a good reminder that actions have consequences and we are way past they days of “should i wear a hat or scarf?” its YA time now.

i did manage to take 1 screenshot from this time, i had commented that before that when rowan said she didnt have many friedns that barnaby seemed to be hanging out with her without be there as a friend buffer and here was his reaction to her death:

;_;

the funniest part in all of this however, was of course cedericks reaction to rowans death “but she was so young....” LOL fuckin RIP.

lets see... what else.... i forget a lot of what happened but i think there was a time sensitive quidditch event in there somewhere? if so i dont remember it. what i do remember of the quidditch pals is that im gonna play beater now, skye is being weird and cagey about it, andre is involved.... the others are there.....

sidenote, i love the shitty b characters they throw in to be like yes you know this person but no they are not cool enough for u to even think about befriending. the first one of those is face paint kid, and now we have another, who is a former beater girl with horrible bangs named bean who didnt go to any classes for a whole season so she could just play ball 24/7 and got kicked off the team. this is a character who only exists to provide an explanation as to why there would be a beater position open but i love them on principle.

right now im in the midst of another time sensitive event, this one is a bother-your-brother-at-work-day event where recent hogwarts graduate bill weasley is bullied by myself and his younger brother charlie into letting us go with him on one of his curse breaking jobs.

so for those unfamiliar, bill works for the magical bank of england.... and his job seems to be “retrieving treasure” for said bank. in the books, there is a bit where he takes his family on one of his trips to egypt, where his job seemed to have been tomb plundering indiana jones style for the posterity of the english bank :X. i wont explain here why thats bad but its bad.

the game devs however in this instance, at least SEEM to be doing what jkr couldnt do by attempting to salvage what is left of gringotts bank and form it into not a super shitty implications factory run by horrible jewish caricatures. bills mission is to retrieve a goblin made artifact that was taken by dragons, so no going to foreign countries to steal things from other people! only going to a dragon reserve to rifle through animal nests. they even appear to be providing us with a likable goblin character, egad!

my hope for this event is that we get a plotline about how maybe, goblins arent shifty human haters for no reason, and in fact they hate magic humans for very understandable reasons, like being forced to go into hiding with the rest of the magical world even though only the humans wanted to do that, and maybe despite running the bank in england they still dont have a lot of political sway in the world of wizards and witches, and have to rely on the faith that said wizards and witches wont fuck them over at every turn, even as they see how they treat other non-humans, such as house elves, which they desperately dont want to end up like. and maybe they DONT only care about gold... maybe thats a human stereotype based on the fact that theres a long history of humans not respecting goblin ownership customs.... which i could get into..... but i wont.... i just....... very badly dont want them to suck ;__________;

i know i said its ok to still like a piece of media as long as you recognize the problems with it, and i do, but once this game is done im gonna stop hp posting all together. ive been feeling more and more uncomfortable making these posts lately.

GENERAL GAME NOTES; theres been some new layout changes and such.

most notably the stairs screen has been changed from a bulleted list of all locations to a screen with tiles picturing an image of each location along with the name + icons of all classes at each place. there is one additional location that is new and yet to be unlocked, and the dragon reservation is appearing temporarily as its own tile as well. i prefer this method of getting in and out of a temporary location to how they did it with car during the last christmas special. the stairs icon also now stays in the corner when you scroll through locations, allowing you to open the stairs menu without scrolling all the way back to the left.

they also moved a few of the buttons down into the lower left corner rather than the left side & combined the story button and sidequest button. they added a little camera button as well, just like in the dormitory, that makes all the icons in a location disappear and look better for screenshots.

the daily special add offer thing now has its own button in the top right corner of the screen, and idk if i mentioned it before but now there are daily challenges that appear in the sidequest screen that offer small rewards for completing 3 tasks per day + a better one if u get all 3. the prizes are things like 4 energy, 75 coins, 3 monster food. the better rewards are usually either more coins, 8 energy, 3 gems, or 1 notebook. i think that it does all the different color notebooks but i cant remember for sure if i ever saw the gold one up as a reward. i like this addition in any case. if you dont pick up ur reward by the end of the day, the next time u log on it will force u to stop and accept them, and if one of the rewards is energy and ur energy bar is full, it does not seem to stack beyond the bar so watch out.

the character stats page is now more zoomed out so you can see your full character instead of just from the waist up. no change to the leaderboard. rowans face in the friendship roster is now a still black and white image that says ur friend may be gone but friendship is forever u-u.

rowan has been removed from all classes. in the classes where the minigames involved her, those minigames have passed the mantle onto other friends in the class. in potions that person is now liz helping u find stuff off the shelves and in tranfiguration that person is badeea. bless these girls for helping mc get through it. touched my heart.

theres been a few fun little “i know u have more free time now so uhhhh have some energy” prizes like they do sometimes when they dont update on schedule so thats been nice. just a few days ago they gifted us 3 gold notebooks the same way. :O.

theres also been a few instances of a energy happy hour where for a limited time energy takes less time to refresh. normally it takes 4 mins for 1 energy to do this but during happy hour its like 2:30 mins. :U its all very interesting.

and that will have to do it for tonight my friends, ill do a post for the dragon event when its done because i do like it so far and i do like getting to bully bill with charlie.

until next time, remember.......

#hp #harry potter #hphm #harry potter hogwarts mystery #bill weasley #goblins #charlie weasley #sirius business #rowan khanna #rambling #Thoughts #so sorry im still making these posts #i just want to see them through to the end now

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svankmajerbaby · 4 years ago

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ok so

warrior nun has consumed my brain so here I Will Express My Thots Regarding It

probably spoilers i guess

so what i wanna talk about specifically is about the characters, which is really what sold me on the show (besides the gorgeous cinematography and the fact i went to andalucia on january and i recognize a lot of places and churches ive been to and i love watching it)

so first, of course, Ava: i think shes one of my new favorite characters, ever?? not only does she have Big Bi Vibes, shes actually really good at balancing snarky-coping-mechanism-humor. her narration and flashbacks do a great job at explaining just how much of it she had to use to cope with the awful nun that cared for her in the orphanage; as she said, its "small victories" to mock and insult the woman who verbally abuses her. but, besides that, humour is also a bonding mechanism, too: little is said of Diego, who was Avas closest friend for probably most of her life. it explains to a certain point why she has a bit of a childish side, but it also shows just how empathic she is and her relative ease to make friends. then. theres the issue that some of my favorite types of protagonists are those who may be tortured, may be sheltered (idk) but who manage to keep fighting on, love life and are in awe of it, remain positive and even spread their positivity to others. i really like when these characters have a clear enthusiasm -im so bored of dismissive, snarky, nihilist protagonists -but Ava is like. a ray of sunshine. her happiness at being out of the orphanage, at being free and able to experience everything is so contagious, i kept smiling through the first few episodes. even later in the season she finds the humour in any situation, she remains amazed by what her fellow warriors can do, and just. shes a goddamn delight. i love her and love how she grows from an overexcited teenager running for her life and evading her responsability to accepting her role as a saviour -and even willing to die to stop the cycle of "chosen ones" halo bearers.

and now Mary. my god, Mary. shes just a type of character i hadnt seen before and i didnt know i would love so much. her first appearance is crying as her best friend (and maybe something else??) dies in her arms. for the rest of the series Mary will be characterized as The Badass, a title she readily accepts. but shes also vulnerable and willing to expose herself and her emotions in order to bond with others -while also wary of being manipulated through them, as in the fight on the docks with Lilith. Mary is just a beautiful combination of this softness and kindness that has to be balanced with the fight for survival; she came from such painful places, being forced to struggle to stay alive: and yet she isnt afraid of love, of being loved: she is a realist, deeply aware of the circumstances she is in, but this doesnt deter her from ever doing the moral thing, to protect others, to fight for them and not only for herself. the fact theres a whole episode dedicated to her bonding with Ava, talking about her life and her deeds, makes it obvious to me that she is The character who mostly embodies the values of the Order of the Cruciform Sword -quite ironic, since while she is a member, she isnt one of the ordained nuns. that independence she has kind of defines her character, too -smart enough to know not to trust the church and to also fight alongside her friends for what she believes in.

and so we come to Lilith. the original Chosen One. she exists in a world defined by purpose and sacrifice: she has seen how the Warrior Nuns end up killed, and still she wants this -to be basically a martyr in a "holy war" -because not only is it her birthright, what she had been raised for her entire life, what her family has been doing for generations -but also because it is her purpose. that is her sole destiny, the only thing she sees herself fit for. this doesnt mean she is evil, though, or self-centered. its true that Lilith can be too one-track-minded, to the point of being able to kill; but she clearly views her being the Warrior Nun, the Halo Bearer, as the only way to ensure the continuity of the community and to save the world. her whole life has been consumed by this "holy war"; and, by what Mary said, its something that her pride has been feeding ever since Shannon was chosen instead of her. she should be the one. she should have the honor to suffer and die for the world. and this is her tragedy, to be honest: despite having friends, despite being loved by her fellow nuns, she feels she needs to be this hero for her life to make sense. it has been her entire life. and when someone else took that purpose from her, everything that is left is anger and anguish.

and this is a nice segway to Beatrice, whos just. while Mary is what a Nun of the OCS should be, and Lilith is what she thinks a Nun of the OCS should be, Beatrice is what a Nun of the OCS probably is most of the time. someone who, while not as self sacrificing as Lilith, is completely devoted to her life in the Order. and, as she explains, most of the nuns are much like herself: hiding past lives, cloaking secrets, trying to find a purpose in the community where they can devote their lives to something greater than themselves. its a way of coping, of keeping on, of finding love and friendship and happiness alongside girls like them. but Beatrice is one of those who arent as hidden and reserved: she yearns for understanding, for a friendship that goes deeper than surface level. this is not an attempt to diminish her relationships with her other friends; she displays the capacities of a good leader, and clearly values her fellow nuns. but theres a clear pattern of her shutting off vulnerabilities in order to be the best at what she does -overachieving, in a way -not with the intent of fulfilling a purpose, like Lilith, but to be seen as "good". as she tells Ava in that magnificent scene, Beatrice comes from a conservative background from where she had learnt to hide everything that could be seen as improper, as bad. she fights the hardest and stays the strongest because she cannot let herself fail: if she is exposed, if her flaws are revealed and her emotions uncovered, she risks her place in the community -where she has built her entire life around, where she managed to escape from her previous life. and so her story is one of opening up, of learning to go that extra step and allowing herself to cry, to be soft, to be vulnerable with others, to share her fears instead of masking them.

finally, none of these issues seem to be a problem for Camila. i dont have a lot to say about her because i think shes still got room to grow as a character, but i like how shes simultaneously "the kid" of the group, and the smartest one from a technological standpoint. shes probably the one who finds the OCS a place of friendship and community, just like Beatrice, while also being a place of deep, untapped knowledge. she is very interested in studying the history or the Order, of knowing what is the divinium, of how the Warrior Nun comes to be. she is not afraid to be vulnerable, nor to be honest about her thoughts and feelings: i feel she is the one who closest follows Mary's example. shes just less focused, less trained, less finely tuned as the rest of the nuns. and still she manages to be a really good fighter, so im just really excited to see where her character will go next.

#warrior nun #some other day ill dissect a few other aspects i liked like shot composition and foreshadowing and stuff

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bma-2020 · 5 years ago

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Okiedok here’s the delio. I have a list of all the blogs from the last six months who’s actively either responded to a meme i sent, responded to a message ive sent, replied to something regarding mally herself, has actually written with me, written a starter for me from my liking a starter call, has at least liked a starter i wrote for them to awknowedge it exists, all that jazz, i have a lot of open field so it’s not just a possible tumblr didnt let them no option anymore, because i send memes to everyone who posts them that i see. I reply to most peoples ooc posts. I like most starter calls I pass by. I try my darndest to actually interact bc i know how it feels to be ignored and its… i’ve been called one before so i’m using the word, thats fluffing cunty behavior, and honestly if you complain about not being interacted with but never even try when i try with you, ya being cunty, end of. I gotta list. That list only entails Mally because she’s who I care about the most. I’m probably gonna start instilling a new rule in all my blogs that if you ignore Mally and/or Darcy( @tasedandconfused ), since I would say they’re my two main blogs tho darcy gets ignored even more than mally does, probably bc i denied canon and left it entirely we know fandom hates that, if either of them is ignored then… Ya out of luck, I’m gonna unfollow you. I’m debating soft blocking everyone who ignored me on both of them but I don’t want to like be mean and deny the chance to eventually try again but at the same time i shouldnt feel bad for taking a stand and saying this is bullsheet, idk my anxiety says im awful for giving a fluff about myself but also i should give a fluff about myself probably, ive nearly died in the last three months, my brain almost exploded, i just had three root canals on one corner of my face, i have to potentially get surgery on my inner ear which i cant even afford, i dont got time to deal with only being used for like smut memes or like as a resource blog or utter bs like that, i dont got time for it. So new rules here. 1: If Mally or Darcy are not acknowledged, written with, responded to, viewed as more than just their fluffing bodies? ya dropped, im unfollowing, potentially soft blocking, which means blocking and unblocking for those not in the know, on all accounts I follow you on. Every single one. I know most of my muses are on sideblogs but despite not being able to send memes from sideblogs you can block people from sideblogs fun fact, i will do that if i have to. 2: I’m gonna be posting SCs, PCs, memes, etc. I like and respond to plotting calls, starter calls, i send memes, all of that. If I don’t get any response within.. I’m giving one week for people who don’t run on a queue and a month and a half to people on a queue based system, if i dont get anything within that time like at least an im being like ‘its posted’ or ‘its queued i wanted to let you know in case tumblrs a fluffbutt’ (i do this sometimes if i dont get even just a like on the starters i post so i at least know people saw it since i know tumblrs bs, i wait until the day they’re active to do so in case theyre busy yknow) basically i need acknowledgment at all. No you can’t claim this is abt follower count bc when you unfollow someone they inevitably unfollow you too, thats gonna drop my following, not as quickly as soft blocking would but i wanna be fair i guess, which leads to: 3: I’m basing this on your activity too, like if i like a think and you’re gone for a month after that its fine, im not gonna unfollow you unless you never come back or youre online and posting others just not mine because that tells me youre specifically ignoring me and im gonna drop you for that end of. I’m done with the bullsheet im done w the dillish behavior, i love friendship but if im giving and never receiving thats extremely one way and not gonna work. I check through my follow list weekly and i go back about five-10 pages on someones feed before i unfollow them to see their actual activity and see if theyre here or if its a q so. I’m thorough basically. 4: You dont have to be active with me on all your blogs, i mean i’d prefer it but thats hard as fluff so essentially if you have like five blogs and are just like trying w me on two or three thats fine. Ten blogs, four or five with at least a plot formed is cool. Multis just one muse is all I’d need. I’m not gonna unfollow the blogs youre not writing w me on if you at least write w me on some. Again, specifically Mally and/or Darcy. If you ignore both of them, we’re done. I havent been active on darcy because of being ignored and its a huge butt mess and im just tired i wanna use my babies, you don’t get to have my ‘better’ muses like i know a lot of ppl only follow me for my boys or my villains, you don’t get them if you ignore my baby. But, there is a limit there too. 5: If you never respond to a meme or thread even once with Mally or Darcy, or post a starter, i reply, its never replied to again after a month, I’m unfollowing and/or soft blocking for that too. Bc that means youre just raising my hopes to fluff with me or get someone else and honestly, youre even more cunty than than the people just flat out ignoring me if you do that. And this isnt a specific person, this is five of the people actually on my list. Yes, my list is also annotated with specifics again I was very thorough on this yesterday, I hyperfixated I’ll admit it, I’m in a fluffing depressionary bubble and being told to get over it because people want something they dont deserve to have to. I am a believer that people deserve good things but if youre purposefully being cunty… no you dont. 6: No I’m not releasing my list, maybe I will and I’ll omit the urls because I don’t want people being buttholes to each other too but otherwise, yall not seeing it im not giving a callout because… really thats just unnecessary here. I don’t think yall are toxic people or something i just think yall are unintentionally being cunty. And no I don’t mean everyone that follows me i mean the ppl that add up to what i’ve documented so far and fit the bill of butthat that i’ve shown, its behaviors yall gotta check before ya wreck. Yes there will be some people who have priority, everyone has those people, I write w kathryn on other platforms since she doesnt go on here as often but when Kathryn returns from war here (if she does cause she also agrees most ppl on this platform are cunty, i feel really bad saying that word so often but im gonna keep doing it i recently deleted an ask saying I was a huge cunt for not sending someone smut memes when I didn’t even follow them or know they existed so, again the travesty of this place is nutballers) same with owly, alex is here too, my most active partners are always going to be priority because theyre the ones who show the most interest and the most care. I understand that with others as well which is why I have the timeframe set up, because I want to be as open and shizz as possible while atill being firm i guess. I don’t want to have extreme double standards like its impossible for double standards not to exist at least a little bit but I want to avoid a golden chest full of them I guess. 7: I don’t have a seven rn, this was an even number and it bothered me. Seven is nust my warning that I’m bittery writing this on mobile so formatting is not real but i tried my dandest to make this look like something people might actually mind. I dont want to be butty, i dont want to be awful, i dont want to start drama or have drama but that shizz comes around anyways so i might as well make my space as okay for me as i can cause im supposed to avoid stress so my brain doesnt almost explode again, like again i almost fluffing died i dont need ppl fake being my friend or anything, i want stuff to be real and clear. I want to be happy to be on here again and have fun like i used to since my health is plummetting and I’m not allowed to go outside near plants by myself anymore because i welt up. I have plants outside my work place and im surrounded by chemicals all day long I’m welted from here to new york constantly and never comfortable in my own skin because of it and constantly see people online acting like these actual real problems are pretentious because ‘its an excuse’ when, im a fluffing sagittarius, do you know how much i want to magically be a millionaire so i can pay for friends and my own medical stuff and go on traveling and adventures, be outside probably not camping bc as a pagan i know thats a death sentence but like be outside, lay on grass, go back to swimming because i used to swim competitively and due to health reasons i can barely even go in a pool anymore because theres too much sunlight which, bit plot twist i know, im fluffing allergic to vitamin D and the rays of the sun, so go figure, attempts to be healthy kill me more, i also cant eat most plants and am constantly dying from just eating food, they dont know whats wrong with me. i cant fix it by going ve/gan for a month inf act i tried and it almost made my heart stop thanks society. These arent excuses these are the lives of disabled and diseased and to a lesser but still very real point, ethnic lives every fluffing day. This is real shit and its murder and online and gaming? It may be all I have soon since I can’t just go out and make new friends cause, again, I’d fluffing die. I get sick going to the mall or the movie theater, I miss theme parks so much but have to minimize it to weeks i dont have work so i dont get fired for having a welt while working in the beauty industry. I may have to get a degree online and change my field entirely because of my illness that nobody understands. People even make fun of it constantly online and I wish I could just drop online entirely because of how unbelievably ableist the entirety of the world is, i wish i could drop humans in general for their ableism, but i cant. I don’t have choices in most cases, but throwing away people who maybe purposefully maybe unintentionally thats why i’m giving you this warning and will be repeating this warning for awhile, this is where i have choice. I have to use what little choice I have in life while I can since everytime i go to movies or a concert or a theme park i almost die because of not having an immune system that functions or being in certain air qualities pr being near plants or unclean people, I may not have much time and I gotta do whats best for what little mental health I have, and if that means dropping people i care about and really want to write with and do things with but who ignore me then, i guess so be it.

#out.#illness cw #health cw #food mention #ive been writing this since noon and its now two pm so this is great #i’s usually put this under a read more but... maybe most people dont deserve a read more rn lol #their behavior will keep being awful if its not pointed out to them so #im done im gonna go welt up from hugging my cat and cry for a bit because i feel mean

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voracious-pumpkira-starr · 5 years ago

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VORE COMMUNITY PSA

False information was spread about me with very little truth. While some is truth, others are either taken from untrustworthy sources or were said by people whom are enemies i made in the past to make me more hated. I dont know if all of you know the post im refering to, i wont link it here but it has been causing me a lot if stress

Now I’m not going to deny some parts of the post because they are factual. But other parts are false. I havent blackmailed people for roleplay, and I dont charge back payments. The charging back of commissioned artwork is only from the artists point of view. And even then its heavily exxagerated. What happened was I spent too much money on porn commissions using a family members credit card on my own paypal, i paid this family member to do this of course bit they didnt know what i was buying. After i spent over $1000 CAD they realized I was spending it on porn and called paypal to charge it back. Paypal charged it back. I tried and tried to get paypal to send the money back but they locked me out of the account and the family member refused to let me send the money to them. Since then I was only able to pay back one artist of many, its not just artists. Paypal took back all payments and I even lost some of my art programs such as Clip studio EX because of this. Ive also lost many mobile apps and more. This caused me a lot of stress and I wasn’t allowed to use a credit card for a long time. Now, You know who. A certain artist who made these claims. Yes I admit I tried to roleplay with them but I will be honest. This is a honest statement from my own mouth. There is many many people in the community who KNOW I’m sumlur and are of age who roleplay with me and I wont name them to keep them same from harassment. Im not innocent but neither are the people like YOU who spread this information. And I will send you this post privately. Yes it is not my place to be in the vore community but because I have it helped with my depression and I learned many things that made me better as a person. I know my mistakes and I understand even when 2021 comes I will be hated in the community or even not let back in at all. But all I’m going to say. Is that yes I was immature and regret a lot of my decisions. But i stopped ban evading and all that long ago. It is now 3 years since this ekas portal drama has started with me, I, because of outdated or false information spread by you and many others have been Doxxed and had my info leaked on 8chan by a user named cloud runner teeny on 12/24/2018. Its been over a year since i was doxxed and I have been struggiling with depression and at multiple times even was suicidal. I nearly killed myself on lean (purple drank). Im not asking for pity because we both know I did aome messed up shit but making a PSA about me and spreading things from your point of view is only half the story. Many people have harassed my social media because of this or even turned me into a laughing stock. So here, if it makes you happy Cham. I’ll make a statement right here right now publically for all to see. If i lose friends for this then whatever it is what it is. It took me a lot of guts and a long time to say this but the stress has gotten to much for me. for the sake of peace I’ll admit to everything Chammy was correct about me ane everything that was false along with some misconceptions about me: so firstly Chammy is right about my age. My birthday is 01/30/2003. I am nearly 17 years old. Chammy is also correct about me asking him for roleplay stuff. However many adults i know who know my age are fine roleplaying with me and I will make this very clear for all of tumblr and the world. Yes I know the underage law and why you think you would be at risk of becoming a sex offender. But hear me out, I’ve actually talked to online lawyers about this and there was never a statement in US Federal law about roleplaying with minors being wrong. The only thing that is bad is if your doing it with malicious intent or send real nudes. As for the age of consent, that is 16 and as far as I know you can legally have sex with anyone within 5 years apart from you as long as its not recorded at that age. So I would assume roleplay would be legal unless its recorded or screenshotted just the same. So yes although it might be risky there is almost a 100% gaurentee your not at risk unless you go bragging about it or the minors parents

Report you. And I don’t have parents, my birth parents abandoned me for a life of crime and my grandparents had custody over me since i was 2 years old. My grandparents know about my vore fetish and although they think its weird they are fine with it to some extent. I can assure you for a fact they won’t report you unless your asking me for literal nudes, which I’d never even give away. Secondly I wanted to bring up the fact I did NOT try to sneak into Cham’s server I was asking if somebody could vouch to let me in so at 18 my friend Andy (WHO KNOWS MY AGE) could vouch for me since he/you closed all invites because of people insulting male predators.

Nextly I want to say this, Chameleonette is not a bad person. They aren’t spreading lies about me on purpose they are only saying what they were told which was spread around by many people who hate me such as aljenserp, AlluringPredation, Reffles, Cloudrunnerteeny, and artists who think i charged back on purpose. Now I also want to bring up the accusations of blackmailing adults who roleplayed with me. This is false, the only adults i ever blackmailed where ones who knew my age and asked for nudes, or were ACTUAL MINORS pretending to be adults which i know for fact.

Now I will admit I exposed some of these friends as minors out of anger and lost friends for this. I regret this so i wont say which ones, But I blackmailed them about exposing their age for some fights in the past.

But I will also admit again I did some stupid shit in the past and I understand the hate I have but its been causing me lots of stress and Harassment on social media. Look cham, if you actually take the time to read this I’m sorry for everything ive done to you and the vore community but I want to say that the adults arent entirely innocent either. I caused these problems by lying about my age, joining ekas, ban evading, manipulating people, and buying art when I shouldnt have. All of it has come back to bite me in the ass. Combined with the stress from real life I couldn’t take things anymore and essentially ruined my life. As of now I dropped out of highschool because the stress was too much and couldn’t work anymore. Now I’m educationless and most likely won’t get a job. For those who are curious in one year and 29 days is when I will be 18. And if any of my friends whom dont know my age read this I want to say I’m sorry for lying. I strongly have issues and am really clingy to people I like so I end up lying to make friends. And i know many people are going to block me for this so in turn I will end up more stressed but its the most mature thing i could think to do. I would love it if nobody blocked me and we just talked like friends and save the vore stuff for when I’m 18, which I do with many of my friends already. As stated before the whole reason i joined ekas in the first place was to join a community i felt like i fit in with after getting depression from losing a friend i really cared about named anatoily

Many times in the past i used anatoily as an excuse for my actions but thats not what im doing. Anatoily if you see this i want to know im sorry for using your name as an excuse for my wrong actions. I originally joined Ekas for that purpose and used that as an excuse, on there i made many friends some of which i have even today. At one point i planned on leaving ekas but then I found somebody who reminded me of anatoily. I had an obsession with them and it led me to well ruin that friendship. Around this time i was exposed underage by Reffles on a minecraft server who had a incorectly dated birth date from a Enjin server about me claiming i was 14 when i was 15 which now i am 16 turning 17 and that link would display 15 turning 16. To explain this I want to say when I made this enjin account I mistyped the age and never bothered fixing it because I rarely used Enjin. I just used it to apply for minecraft admin positions.

I regret many of the things ive done and cant stress this enough that I’m sorry but in all honesty this is the true story of what happened with me and the vore community

In 2017 I joined ekas because my mind didn’t care about the consequences I was upset about anatoily, which isnt an excuse for my actions. I lied about my age and all was fine i was getting away with it. I met the person who reminded me of anatoily in February of 2018 whom helped me grow as an artist. I started working as a artist practicing for when I’m 18. When reffles found me out i was upset and was banned from ekas and the discord Work to Feed. I was upset for many reasons, one even being that i just got the first person ever to commission me and even today was never able to do the art or send it to them making me feel like a thief

So a lot of ban evading and ruined friendships later some problems happened with me and a friend named Aljenserp who like me was a minor. I was watching one of Silent_E’s streams and got banned because Tyrion13 recognized me. I betrayed Aljenserp like an asshole saying he was underage (i dont think he is underage anymore but he was at the time this happened) because he was a staff nobody believed me and i was banned from the stream and lost all trust aljenserp had in me. He became my enemy. Now after this a lot of people started hating me more and more, there was some drama on 8chan about me which i posted on being some idiot as i was younger and didnt know what i was doing.

This caused many people to not even feel any pity for me thinking i was stupid and deserved what i got. This was shortly before the problem happened with paypal. After that i was hated immensely more and many people startee saying some stupid rumors about me

One really dumb one was from the ekas user ExplosiveWaifu who has a Dragon OC named Lydia. Goes by DragonWaifu on discord. In one instance i was talking to Lydia about how one of my friends was a Maoist communist and his beliefs and how i support him because he is my friend. She believed because he had communist beliefs and i supported him that i was a terrorist and ceased all Communication with me for this. Another false rumor about me was spreaded by a friend of Explosivewaifu who i cant name as they are always changing their name. she is a trans woman, me and her used to talk a lot and whenever she got drunk she would well... be really irl lewd with me so i started calling her a pedophille (which is where the blackmail stuff ties in partially though i didnt blackmail her it was somebody else)

Many times this friend while sober would claim that i act to mature and that I couldnt be a minor, thus a rumor spread around that inwas a adult pretending to be a minor to get kicked out of the community for purposfully causing drama to make people think im a believable minor so i could easily prey on minors like a pedophille... honestly this is a really dumb rumor and dunno why it was believed by anybody at all

Next I want to talk about the ID theft accusations. Mettra Tonic gave me a health band from the hospital which in July of 2018 i tried to use as a ID to get me unbanned and it failed, this led to trust issues with Mettra who also spread false information about me which is mostly well known for the accusations of blackmail against her friends who were minors. There was another ID issue with a man named worthylightning and Kobayashi whom I tried to. Let them both help me get unbanned because friendship. It didnt work and i felt bad.

Lastly the only true case of ID theft is the one with reffles. Reffles gave somebody her ID who gave me the ID and I cropped out the age part of her ID and tried to use it. I since regret this action but i wouldnt concider the age part alone to be ID theft.

There was also accusations that I steal artwork which i dont own which is false. All artwork of Pumpkira is owned by me, either drawn by me, won in a raffle, requested, or given to me as a gift.

Moving on later in the year CloudRunnerTeeny doxxed me and made a group on discord called the Sumlur eradication squad where he blackmailed me and threatened to leak my info (which he did on christmas onto 8chan before it was taken down for breaking ToS) me and my friend tried to mislead him do he wouldnt Dox me and dox a fake person but this failed, made things worse infact. After that me and teeny came to a truce to leave eachother alone if i stay away from him and his friends. A promise I Semi-kept to today.

I already explained the whole issue with the art charged back, false rumors, and blackmail.

But I want to say this. Please stop sending information that is outdated or just speculation about me. Hear both sides of the story.

And yes when I turn 18 in 2021 I know I’ll still be hated and I have come to terms and accept that is my punishment for my mistakes. But please stop sending drama my way as I am very tempted to just delete all my social media at this point. Its gotten really stressful and I just cant...

Also Chammy again you aren’t a bad person i dont blame you for my hate as Its deserved. Although some of your claims were wrong or from your point of view, others were true and It is good you made a statement about me. But please tell people not to harass me and just block me. I’m going to make this post Private for a while before making it public. I want you to read this before it goes public on my Tumblr.

Lastly I heard you were feeling sick and hope you get better.

From artist to artist I have been improving my art and stories which like you one thing i hope for when im 18 is to be a successful artist or writer. Im already planning a large scale SFW webcomic as many people know. Though I feel like it is going to have a negative impact because Pumpkira is the protagonist and i gaurentee at least one person from the vore community would expost past me to everyone who reads future me’s work

Anyways thats all.

Update 2020: now 17

Update: 2021 now 18 as of January 30th 2021

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missmarquin · 6 years ago

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Magnetic, Ch. 1

In the future, romantic attraction is literal: each person is fitted with an electromagnetic bracelet which will pull you to your soulmate. It's hard, wondering who's out there for you. It's harder yet, when you have to come to understand yourself first.

Read on A03, for best quality (Including proper italics and such!)

Domain

‘A magnetic domain is a region within magnetic material in which the magnetization is uniform in one direction.’

Eighteen was a big year for many, but turning twenty is what people truly waited for.

Otabek had never really given it much thought, he supposed. Amita might not have been his initial choice of who he’d want to spend his life with forever, but she had since grown on him-- not unlike a fungus. She was sharp and quick-witted, and he had to admit that his parents had made a good choice. Really, they had. He and Amita just worked together, their relationship didn’t require much effort.

So the ceremonious receiving of the Destiny Bracelet wasn’t so ceremonious for him. He didn’t want to fuck up something that was good for him.

“It’s such a stupid fucking name,” Yuri said through the phone screen. Amita rolled her eyes, as she held the phone out, and Otabek smirked back at the video feed. “ Destiny Bracelet . What is this, some shitty fucking rom-com?”

“Hey now,” Amita pouted, leaning around so Yuri could see her through the screen. “ Some people like shitty rom-coms.”

“I guess you’re allowed to,” Yuri said with a genuine smile. “You’re special though.”

Really, Otabek’s luck couldn’t be better. Yuri was the most important person in the world to him, at the end of things, and he fucking lovedAmita. They were practically partners-in-crime themselves.

“What’s the point anyhow?” Yuri continued griping. “ It’s not like you aren’t getting married regardless. You and Amita are stupidly in love.”

Otabek and Amita shared an amused glance, and he said, “Why not? It’s not like it’s going to hurt me, you know? Besides, Mom is curious.” Not his mom, just Mom, the woman who had seen Yuri once before instantly adopting him as her own. Much to the boy’s aggravation.

Yuri snorted, rolling his eyes. Otabek wasn’t sure that he was stupidly in love with Amita, but he was happy and honestly, that was more than he could ask for. There was a mild fear that the bracelet would want to pull him somewhere else, but many people ignored it anyway. The journey of finding that soulmate wasn’t worth it to some.

Otabek was okay with that. He wasn’t the kind for grand romantic gestures or sweeping adventures. It was less work to stay in his tidy little bubble, and it suited him.

“Are we all ready in here?” A voice piped from the doorway. Everyone turned to meet a middle-aged man, the proctor in charge of attaching and turning on the gizmo. Otabek nodded and he whisked into the room, settling into the rolling stool beside the bed.

“I was I could be there for this,” Yuri muttered. “I wish I could see the annoyance on your face, the moment that bracelet beeps.”

Such a Yuri thing to say and do, to take pleasure in the vexation of others.

“Someone has rehearsal to be at, you know,” Amita chided. “Someone scored a spot in the Bolshoi Ballet Company, so that someone needs to stay put and not burn bridges before they are even built.”

Yuri sighed and Otabek hid a smile behind a carefully placed cough. Yuri wouldn’t listen to him, but he would always listen to her, begrudging as it was.

“Hold out your arm now,” the proctor interrupted cheerfully. Otabek did as he was told and the man fitted a length of cool metal around his wrist. It wasn’t his first time seeing one and it wouldn’t be his last, but he was always surprised by how boring it looked. Just a simple chain of lightweight links, fitted with neat and elegant looking square. The way it worked was a carefully guarded secret, but it worked and that’s all people cared about.

The point of the Destiny Bracelet was to make people happy, not make money and so, the world-wide program had been adopted free of charge. Yuri had always said it was stupid, because it could have made billions. He wasn’t wrong.

“As you probably already know, there’s nothing really needed to know about it’s use,” the proctor said. “It’s waterproof and practically indestructible, so you don’t need to worry about that. It can easily be removed if so wished, and once put back on, instantly kicks into gear again. No fancy buttons or doohickies,” he finished with a laugh. “You ready?”

Otabek shrugged and the man took a thin little tool, about the size of a paperclip, and shoved it into the pin-sized hole on the square. The bracelet beeped, indicating that it was scanning.

The room waited with bated breath, but nothing seemed to happen.

“Beks?” Amita said gently, curiosity full on her face. “Anything?”

“Uh,” Otabek started, lifting his wrist slightly. “No? I don’t think?”

The proctor didn’t seem fazed though, asking, “No tingling sensations? No feeling of being tugged a certain direction?”

“No,” Otabek confirmed. “Nothing.”

“Well, that’s not unusual,” the man said. “It only comes to life if your partner’s bracelet is active. Give it some time and it will start to work, I promise.” He folded his hands into his lap neatly. “Any other questions?”

“Yeah,” Yuri said from the video call, “Who’s placing bets on when that fucking happens?”

Otabek shot Yuri a glare, but Amita burst into laughter. The proctor smiled, before standing and handing Otabek a flyer. “This should give you more in depth information, but don’t hesitate to call, okay?”

Otabek nodded and thanked him, before standing himself.

“Three months till your woman gets hers,” Yuri drawled, “Ten thousand rubles that hers lights up like a damn Christmas Tree in your direction.”

The thought of Amita’s bracelet reacting to his own was a nice thought, but a one-in-a-million chance. Otabek remained hesitant about it, not wanting to get his hopes up.

“We don’t use rubles,” Amita tittered, her lips pulled into a sarcastic smirk. “What’s that about in tenge, Otabek?”

“About fifty-six thousand,” he deadpanned, and half Yuri’s monthly salary. Amita pressed her finger to her chin in thought.

“I’ll accept the bet and raise it, Yuri,” she finally said, a gleam in her eye. “One hundred thousand tenge that his bracelet doesn’t do jack shit when mine is activated.” Amita came from old money and didn’t bat an eye at the outrageous amount.

Otabek started slightly at that, but Yuri was already accepting the challenge before he could process that she had bet against them.

“You’re on, you hag,” Yuri snapped. “It’s pretty fucked up to bet against your own romance though.”

“Plenty of people don’t go searching for their soulmate, Yuri,” she said with a shrug. “Many people already love someone else and stick with them. Otabek and I are no different.”

It wasn’t that he didn’t believe Amita when she said it, but the both of them weren’t the kind to throw around something like lovelightheartedly. When they walked out of the building though, Amita’s hand reached out to find his, squeezing gently as they told Yuri goodbye.

It’s enough to believe that this might actually work.

It wasn’t.

Otabek didn’t know what was wrong with him when he finally came to that conclusion.

The more and more he thought about the silent bracelet on his wrist, the more he realized that he would be okay with it staying that way for the rest of his life. And that he would be a-okay with Amita wandering off and finding her own destined one.

Because honestly, the woman deserved it. She deserved more than a half-hearted romance with a man who just liked her. Like wasn’t the same as love. Otabek understood that now.

“Relationships are fucking useless,” Yuri groaned over the video call.

“I take it that the date didn’t go well then,” Otabek mused.

“It was great, until he tried to eat my face off like some sort of rabid dog. ” Yuri paused to make a disgusted sound. “You know, that was the first time I’ve kissed a dude and honestly I feel sorry for women. Men are disgusting.”

Otabek wasn’t sure what surprised him more-- that Yuri’s first kiss had apparently been with a woman, or that he had admitted that men were gross. “You told me he was gross before you went on the date,” he pointed out.

“Personality wise yes,” Yuri replied, “but Beka, have you seen his fucking calves?”

“Yes,” Otabek said. Yuri had shown him tons of pictures of the company, all the while complaining about every single member.

Yuri rolled his eyes. “You know, ignore that, it’s not like you’d ever fucking agree.”

It came out harsher than he meant, and Otabek mused at the irony of his statement. Otabek wouldn’t consider himself gay, but Yuri never failed to get under his skin when the time accounted for it. That moment wasn’t an exception, with his low-scooping neckline and hair falling around his face like spun gold.

Otabek promptly reminded himself that what he had with Amita was good enough, and not worth risking the only fucking friendship he had.

“So,” Yuri drawled and Otabek’s attention snapped back to him. “Less than a week until Amita get’s her little bracelet.”

Otabek smirked. “Regretting your bet yet?”

“Absolutely the fuck not. Everyone knows you two are disgustingly perfect. You’re almost as bad as the Piggy and Old Man.”

Otabek seriously doubted that, but laughed all the same.

“Are you worried?” Yuri asked.

“Not really,” Otabek said with a shrug.

“What if it’s not you?”

Otabek hesitated, but then said, “Not a problem. Like Amita said, many people stay with those they aren’t meant for. It’s not a bad thing.”

Yuri was quiet for a moment, regarding him carefully through the screen. Finally, he said, “You aren’t the type to do things half-way, Beka.”

It wasn’t a critique, it was the honest truth, and for once he didn’t know how to reply. But as soon as introspective Yuri had shown his face, he was gone, throwing out a dirty joke that he had heard from one of the pit musicians.

After a long time of tossing jokes around and swapping stories, their call comes to its end. Yuri was clearly tired, eyelids drooping as he tucked into the hoodie that he stole from Otabek years ago.

Yuri had said his goodnight, about to end the call, when Otabek said something else.

“Would it make me a terrible person if I wanted her bracelet to point to someone else?” It wasn’t a planned question, or something he would have ever asked Yuri. His friend blinked slowly, his hand hovering over the keyboard of his laptop. “I wonder,” Otabek continued, “if I’m a horrible person because I might want to pull away.”

“Of course it doesn’t,” Yuri finally said. “It makes you normal. Everyone questions their relationships. Sometimes people are constantly questioning them.” He paused and considered something else. “You’re lucky though, I think. Amita seems the kind of woman tough enough to handle rejection in the end. She’d slap a smile on her face and thank you.”

Yuri wasn’t wrong, and despite his heavy-handed worries, Otabek managed another smile before they ended the call for the night.

Otabek couldn’t dedicate time to be there, when Amita’s bracelet was activated. She came from old money, and despite working, she worked for her parents. They showered her with all the vacation and time off she could have ever wanted.

It wasn’t like Otabek’s family weren’t well of either-- that’s how they had met-- but he didn’t like to dip his hand into the cookie jar so to speak. He worked hard for his coin, and as a result had less leeway.

So that night, he had been in his garage, fixing up a vintage bike for a collector. It was dirty work, leaving him smeared with grease, but he loved it. The feel of the tools in his hand, the way that the engine whined when finely tuned to perfection.

Really, it was all could have ever asked for.

“I take it that it’s been a good day for you, Beks,” Amita said, stepping into his space quietly.

He swiped at his forehead and turned to smile at her, but she seemed distant and subdued. Slowly he dropped his hand, as he regarded her.

Amita fidgeted, she never fidgeted, and Otabek couldn’t help the crease that stretched across his forehead as he moved to speak. But she held her hand out and paused. And he saw the bracelet there, blinking gently in the dim light.

His didn’t blink at all, because it had no call.

She saw his gaze and moved her hand self-consciously, tucking her hair behind an ear. “It’s not strong,” she said, “the pull. Whoever it is isn’t close by. I’m not surprised though.”

“I-- I’m not either,” Otabek replied, but the words didn’t sound bitter. Nor was there dread in the pit of his stomach. If he had to be honest, he felt relieved.

Amita leaned against his workbench. “I know what we told Yuri, but--”

“But it’s not right,” Otabek finished, knowing that’s where she was going with this. He stood, wiping his dirtied hands on a spare rag in his pocket. He moved to lean next to her and she smiled sadly.

“It’s stupid, right? I mean, I want to marry you.”

“I would like that too,” Otabek said truthfully.

“But it isn’t… it’s not right,” she repeated. “I can’t really describe it any other way.” She sighed softly. “I couldn’t deny whoever your soulmate is, you, Otabek.”

He snorted at that. “I think it’s safe to say I’m doomed to be alone, Amita,” he replied lightheartedly. And that was probably the truth. Most bracelets activated within several months, and the longer it took, the less likely it ever would. He was past the point of holding his breath.

She turned to look at him, her eyes flashing. “Why on earth would you think that?”

Otabek rubbed at his neck nervously. “I don’t know, I’m just not the kind of person who does people, you know? I’ve been thinking more and more about it lately, and I think that the single lifestyle would suit me.”

Amita regarded him quietly, tapping her finger against her chin like she always did when she thought. “I think the problem Beks,” she finally said, “is that you just haven’t found your person yet. I would love to be them, but… it’s not fair.”

“Yeah, it’s not fair to you--”

“ To you,” she interrupted. Otabek blinked at her words, her conviction. “You deserve happiness as much as anyone else,” she said firmly.

Otabek breathed an uneasy sigh, rubbing at his neck again. “I’m not holding my breath, you know,” he finally said.

At that, she laughed. “I wouldn’t expect you too. Above all Otabek, you are practical.”

He managed a smile at that. “What will you do, then? Go after him?” He took her hand gently, pulling it closer to see the bracelet. All it did was blink, signaling that it was on.

“I don’t know,” she said quietly. “I’m not sure my parents would be happy. They love you.”

“They love you more,” he pointed out.

She hummed at that, before reaching up and cupping his chin in her hand. “I’ll always love you,” she said quietly. “Despite what this bracelet says, or yours, I’ll always love you. I’m just not the one meant for you, I think.” She leaned forward and pressed a kiss against his brow sweetly. “Who knows? Maybe they’re closer than you think?” She smirked widely as she pulled back and let him go.

Otabek could think of one person that he wouldn’t mind, but those odds were heavily stacked against him. And he wasn’t the kind to dream.

Still, when she left him behind in his shop, his heart didn’t feel heavy. He thanked Amita for her unwavering friendship, knowing that he’d have it forever.

The first year after the break up had been weird.

Amita had decided to go West in the end, following the tug of her bracelet. Otabek had seen her off personally, hugging her tightly at the airport. They parted well, with light hearts and encouraging words. Otabek knew that they had made the right decision, no matter how disappointed their parents had been.

In turn, being alone had given him time to think.

The single life wasn’t so bad, he thought. Amita’s words about how he hadn’t found his someone yet floated around here and there, but he had chosen to mostly ignore them. It was easier worrying about himself, and devoting the time to come to understanding who he was.

Yuri told him that he was stupid, but didn’t press the issue.

The second year was better. The second year, Otabek discovered himself, exploring his freedom. He finally used that vacation time and savings, and hit the open roads on his bike. Not too far though gone, because he never missed his nightly calls with Yuri.

Yuri threw himself into ballet, constantly tired and bruised. And when he wasn’t punishing his body with grueling training regimes, he threw himself into shitty date after shitty date. No one seemed to stick, not that Otabek was surprised. Yuri was as prickly as a summer cactus, and his personality wasn’t much better. Not everyone could handle the abrasive man.

“A huge part of me doesn’t want to get the stupid bracelet, Beka,” Yuri complained one night during their call. His twentieth birthday was looming over them and in a few weeks, he’d know.

“You don’t have to get the bracelet, you know,” Otabek said, leaning back against his headboard. It was a late night and both of them were settling for bed.

Yuri sighed, sitting on his tony mattress with crossed legs. That night he wore baggy sweatpants and a wide-necked black shirt that showed off his collarbones--

Otabek distracted himself by taking a sip from the water cup on his side table.

“I thought about it, actually,” Yuri said. “But then you know, I also keep dating assholes, so clearly my method isn’t working out.”

Otabek raised an eyebrow at that. “Don’t date assholes then,” he chided, smiling.

Yuri rolled his eyes, before falling back against the bed. “How do you do it?” he asked. “How do you just… do your own thing?”

Otabek thought before he answered. “It’s taken time and a lot of thought,” he finally said. “And of course, Amita pushed me, I guess.”

“A cross-country trip to discover yourself doesn’t hurt either,” Yuri teased, and when Otabek looked back at him through the screen, he saw the smirk across his lips. Otabek smiled right back.

“I’ve thought about taking it off,” Otabek continued with, flicking at the metal on his wrist. Nearly three years later and it was still dead as a door nail. Frankly, Otabek had lost interest in waiting. “My soulmate doesn’t define me, you know?”

Yuri hummed quietly. “Don’t,” he finally said. “I mean, at least wait until it turns on, yeah?”

“It probably won’t, Yura,” Otabek sighed. “Studies show that most activate within the first year. I’m probably the rare case of never activates at all . And honestly, I’m cool with it.”

“Well I’m not,” Yuri scoffed. “You can’t tell me that someone doesn’t get Otabek Altin as a fucking soulmate, I won’t take it. You’re too cool to go it alone.”

“You literally said that you admire that about me.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t think you’re deserving.”

Otabek ran a hand through his hair gently. “You aren’t like me, Yura,” he finally said. “Even though you don’t like people, you crave their attention. You’d never be okay on your own.”

“I wouldn’t be alone though,” Yuri replied quietly. “I’ll always have you, you know.”

Otabek did know, and he smiled. “It’s taken me a long time to get to where I am, but I’m good now. Give yourself a chance too, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled. There was a short pause, and then, “Do yourself a favor Beka. Don’t you take yours off either, okay?”

Otabek’s lips quirked into a smile. “Okay.”

“It’s a promise?”

“Always, Yura.”

Despite all of Otabek’s annoyance for his own bracelet, he was excited for Yuri.

He watched through the screen as Yuri sat on the exam table, twitching with apprehension. The phone must have been propped up against something. “It’s stupid,” he snapped. “I should be at rehearsal, I should be running through forms, hell I’d rather be doing fucking squats.”

Otabek smiled at that. “It’s not the end of the world, Yura,” he said amused. “A few years ago, you were excited .”

“Yeah, until I realized what a drag dating is, and how disgusting men are.” He paused then, his face twisting into horror. “Beka, what if my soulmate is a woman? My life would be over!”

“It could be worse, you know,” he joked. “It could not work at all.” He raised his own wrist in response.

Yuri scowled at him, about to retort when the proctor came in. When requested to, Yuri stuck his arm out, the smooth skin pale against his dark shirt. Otabek watched as the man slipped the chain around his wrist, snapping it closed. And then the tool came out.

Yuri looked hesitant, but his eyes were bright as the man activated the bracelet.

But then they both fell quiet, watching. And then there was a little beep and Yuri’s bracelet blinked. He regarded it with an odd look.

“You know, I wish Amita were watching. I bet her smug ass would have enjoyed this.”

Before Otabek could retort though, there was another beep, this time not through the phone call. He froze and looked down, right as his bracelet flared to life.

#Otabek Altin #Yuri Plisetsky #yuri on ice fanfiction #yurionice #otayuri #otabek and yuri #OtabekAltin/YuriPlisetsky #Alternate Universe

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tequila-clifford · 6 years ago

Text

Neighbors

Pairing: Michael/Reader

Word Count: 1719

Warnings/Rating: Fluff/Language

Request: No

The first time you kissed Michael was at a block party when you were just 12 years old, you had just moved in the week prior and all of the neighborhood kids had gathered around to play Truth or Dare. The rest, well, the rest is easy enough to guess. The last time you’d kissed Michael was this morning before he snuck out of your bedroom window. Sneaking was definitely not ideal, but your parents were not exactly Michaels biggest fans. They tolerated him as your neighbor and forced themselves to accept your friendship, but you knew that they would likely sell the house and move you across the country if they found out that you were in a serious relationship with a bright haired guitarist. Your parents were the type that wanted you to settle down with a doctor or a lawyer, and Michael, well…Michael doesn’t exactly fit the bill. You wished they would see him more like you did. If they knew how he always brought you a sweater to wear when it’s cold out, because he knows you like his better than your own. Or how he tapes notes to your window every day, saying things like “you look gorgeous today, babe” or some dorky joke. If they knew those things, how could they not be happy for you…right? You weren’t sure you were ready to face that music yet, but it had to be soon, because that the ring on your finger wasn’t just a gift from a friend, but a promise ring from the boy you loved. You stared down at the metal band and rolled it around your finger before being snapped out of your trance by your phone buzzing next to you. You couldn’t help but smile when you saw who was calling. “Hello handsome"

“Hi, baby. Have you got any plans tonight?”

“Hmmm, none that I know of, what’ve you got in mind?”

“Just make sure your window’s unlocked, I’ll be over at 10”

“Sounds like a plan, Spiderman”

Michael let out a small laugh at your dorkiness “Okay, I gotta go, babe. I love you.”

“I love you back.” With that you ended the phone call, looking at the clock. It was only 6:00pm so you had a good 4 hours to eat, clean your room, shower, and make yourself look semi presentable. You were nervous. Why were you nervous? It’s just Michael, your best friend, coming over just as he did every other night, the boy you’ve loved for 7 years. 7 years. That’s when it hit you, on this exact night 7 years ago you’d shared your first kiss, and even though you’d only been a couple since you were 15 you’d always considered tonight to be your ‘real’ anniversary. It’s a good thing you’d bought his gift a few months back while on vacation, or you would have been screwed. You pulled the small black bag out from your jewelry box; you really couldn’t give Michael a ring so this had to be the next best thing. A guitar pick bracelet personalized with both of your initials and your anniversary date; you knew he’d love it. By the time you’d gotten out of the shower it was nearly 9:30, you let your hair air dry allowing your natural curls to take over. You slipped on your favorite pajamas, that just happened to be one of Michaels sweaters and a pair if his boxers, and sat on your bed impatiently. You’d already said good night to your parents so you knew there would be no interruptions. It was now 9:50. You walked over to your window anxiously to see if Michael was on his way, after a minute or so of pacing you heard your phone buzz from your bed, you immediately leapt to grab it.

“Ya know, I’ve been looking for that sweater.” Michael said with a chuckle on the other end of the line "Though, it looks much better on you”

“You can see me?”

“Sure can, fantastic view"

“Then why the hell aren’t you over here yet?”

“Patience, babe. It’s only 9:56, I said 10. I’m no liar.”

“Michael, if you are not in this room within the next 30 seconds, the window is getting locked.”

“Well that’s not a funny joke (Y/N)…”

“29…”

“(Y/N)…”

“28…”

“Babe…”

“27…”

“Fuck.” The line went dead and not a moment later Michael was pulling himself through your open window. You stood facing him as he walked over to you, pulling you into a tight hug, you wrapped your arms around his neck kissing him tenderly. Michael pulled away, held you at an arms length and looked you up and down “Yup, this sweater definitely looks better on you, baby. And wha-” he pulled the bottom of the sweater up slightly, revealing the boxers you’d stolen from him too “and my boxers as well? It’s a good thing you’re so fucking cute, I swear. Little thief, you are.” He leaned down and grabbed the back of both of your thighs, scooping you up and wrapping your legs around his torso. He squeezed you tighter as you placed your hands on either side of his face and kissed him once more. “I can’t believe I’ve known you for 7 years.” the words came out like a whisper and you just traced the back of his neck with your fingers, watching his expression as he continued to speak “I never thought I’d have this. That I could deserve something like we have. Like, we have something to be proud of.“

“I know we do.” you tapped his shoulder, and he placed you back on the floor, you grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the bed. You went to opposite sides before pulling down the covers and meeting in the middle, you draped your arm over him, his hand immediately reaching to play with your fingers as you laid your head on his chest. “I’m so happy you kissed me at that party, Michael.” That made his sleepy expression perk up, curiously waiting for you to elaborate. “I was so scared that night, I had just moved here and I didn’t know anyone. Then all of these kids were yelling at me to kiss you, and I had never kissed anyone before, let alone a complete stranger. And do you remember what you told them?” He raised an eyebrow, smirk growing on his face urging you to go on “You said ‘fuck off! She doesn’t have to kiss me if she doesn’t want to!’”

“And that was the moment you knew I was the one, huh? Ya just couldn’t resist me” you laughed at his confidence and squeezed him tighter

“I thought you were cute because you stood up for me so I agreed to kiss you, and then you gave me the worst kiss ever!” you squeaked, laughing into his chest

“Ouch!” he yelped gripping his heart in fake agony which only fueled your laughter

“Hey! Just because I said it was the worst, doesn’t mean it wasn’t my favorite…”

“Mine too, babe. And, I think we’ve gotten a lot better at the whole kissing thing since then, don’t ya think?” He didn’t wait for a reply before pulling your face up to meet his, kissing you deeply. He reached down, grabbing your leg to pull over him so you were straddling his thighs, you bent down to him putting even more passion into the kiss. Your hands on the back of his neck, fingers tangling into his hair as you nipped at his bottom lip gently, causing a soft moan to fall between the kiss. He flipped you back over, hovering over you but to his displeasure, you broke the kiss. "Babeeee” he whined, a pout forming on his lips.

“We both know where this is going, so I want to give you your gift now.”

“(Y/N), I—“

“Shush.” You pulled the bag out from under your pillow and handed it to him, waiting patiently for him to open it

“(Y/N), baby, this is amazing! Here, help me put it on!” You smiled as you tied the leather cord around his wrist. You looked up at him to see him beaming at you, smile wide on his face and his cheeks flushed pink, he caught your lips with his before speaking again, smile never leaving his face “I love it, it’s perfect. And I really, really love you too (Y/N).” you smiled and pulled his hand up to your lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it. You thought for sure he’d want to get right back to the fun stuff, so you were shocked when he spoke again "I think we should talk to your parents tomorrow.” You swear you could have fainted at his words

“….really? You want to throw yourself to the wolves willingly?”

“Your parents arent that bad, (Y/N).”

“Debatable” he let out a laugh at your stubbornness but you both knew he’d get his way

“Babe, I don’t want to hide anymore. You mean more to me than anyone or anything on this planet and I want everyone to know it. I frankly don’t give a shit if they like me.”

“But what if they decide to box me up and ship me to another country?”

“Won’t be able to do that.” You raised your eyebrow at his statement.

“And how’s that, Clifford?” It was then that he pulled a little box out from his pocket, he handed it to you and you could feel your heart pounding in your chest. You opened it to see a set of keys. It took you a second to wrap your mind around what was happening until Michael spoke again

“Because, we live together now. Moving day officially begins in about 9 hours.” You physically could not remove your jaw from the floor as you jumped into his arms, squeezing him tighter than you ever thought possible.

“I can’t believe this is real. This is perfect.” You peppered kisses all over him and he just laughed in response to your enthusiasm

“Officially starting our officially public life together, baby.”

“I can’t wait.” You whispered into his lips before pressing into them once again.

#Michael CLifford fluff #tequila-clifford #Tequila-Clifford Masterlist #this is an old fic

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