#friendship day 2020 images

[liightsout]

the blue - part one

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

✯ summary: introducting mattie and adam!! both have some news to share, one being better than the other. no danny ric content in this one, but it's coming, i promise! ✯

✯ pairing: daniel ricciardo x fem!oc

✯ content warnings: none rlly, light swearing ✯

✯ now playing: you're on your own kid - taylor swift ✯

✯ series masterlist ✯

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

May 2020 

“Mattie, are you even listening to me?” 

Looking up from her phone at her friend she frowned. She hadn’t been listening. Not even a little. It wasn’t that she wasn’t interested in what her friend had been saying, it was just that she had a lot on her mind.

She sighed softly “I wasn’t Adam, I’m sorry, what were you saying? Something about a new driver on the team?” 

Matilda and Adam had been friends since childhood, the pair had met on the first day of junior school. She had just moved to the small town over the summer and was starting school a complete stranger amongst all her peers.

Her mum had reassured her she’d make friends quickly, but she wasn’t so sure. Looking around the playground she could see that almost everyone already knew one another. She spent the first few hours of school that day on her own, carefully shying away from drawing too much attention to herself. 

Then came lunch break. She remembers it like it was yesterday, Adam came bounding over to her, scruffy uniform and beaming smile with a few teeth missing. He asked her if she wanted to play race cars with him. She explained nervously that she didn’t know anything about racing and he should probably ask someone else. Adam had scoffed at the idea and said that he didn’t want to play with the other kids.

Adam spent the rest of the hour lunch break explaining everything he knew about racing and telling her about his favourite driver ‘Michael Shooomacker’ and the red car he drove. 

Their friendship had lasted throughout their schooling days, all their awkward teenage phases and early adult years. It was a no brainer for the both of them to decide to move in with each other when they both found themselves in need of a home.

Rent in and around London was expensive, and there was no one on Earth either of them would rather live with. Which had proven to be a blessing when 2020 had rolled around and Covid had hit. The pair of them agreed that they would have lost their minds had they spent so many days locked inside with anyone else but each other. 

Adam had gone to University when they turned 18 and earned a degree in Mechanical Engineering, hoping to further his dream of being an engineer for one of the top Formula 1 teams when he was older. It wasn’t long before he had achieved said dream and found himself a spot on the engineering team at Mclaren.

“At least you’re honest! I said I got a call this morning from my boss,he confirmed the driver that’s going to be replacing Carlos next year. It’s Daniel Ricciardo” explained Adam, with a beaming smile.

Mattie paused trying to put a name to a face. “Which one is he?” Adam laughed “as if you don’t remember! He’s the Aussie you think is fit, the one who used to drive for Red Bull.” 

“I thought that was Mark Webber?” the girl questioned, pulling out her phone getting ready to Google the new driver her friend would be working with for the next season. Adam’s laugh got even louder “close, but not quite” he said. 

Mattie rolled her eyes and continued her Google image search. Yep, she remembered who Daniel Ricciardo was now. Adam was right; she did think he was fit. More than that, she thought he was one of the most beautiful men she had ever seen.

She looked up from her phone to the knowing eyes of her best friend “yeah I remember who he is, but anyway, irrelevant, is this a good thing for you? Are you happy?”.

Adam nodded enthusiastically “oh definitely, he’s one of my favourite drivers, getting to work with him is huge. I reckon him and Lando will be a great pairing as well, roll on 2021 as far as I’m concerned”. 

Adam had always been obsessed with Formula 1. Even from the age of 10 he had been so sure that it was the career path for him. He had spent countless hours as a teenager working in his dad’s garage and learning everything he could about cars, engines and the mechanics behind them.

This was something Mattie had always been jealous of. Not that she had also wanted to be a mechanic, definitely not that. She had been jealous of his ability to decide exactly what it was that he had wanted to do with his life, seemingly from the minute he had learnt what Formula 1 was. 

Mattie did not have the same luxury. Growing up she had toyed with many ideas about what life would have in store for her, but none that ever had really seemed to fit.

When she was 13 she had wanted to be a famous pop singer; the dream was soon crushed when a music teacher told her she could barely hold a note.

Then came fashion. She had spent a whole summer reading through every copy of Vogue she could get her hands on. Drawing up rough designs of different clothes and garments she would try and craft herself. This dream ended with a high school textiles teacher telling her that she was terrible at stitching and would never pass the class.

The list was endless, dream after dream quietly crushed by being told she would never be quite good enough. 

For a while she thought that maybe she had set her expectations too high. She wanted too much, dreamt too big. She wanted extraordinary, but needed to settle for ordinary. 

Until she had realised at the age of 17 that it had been staring her in the face her whole life. From the moment Mattie had learnt to read she had her nose in a book. She had become infatuated with literature and everything about it.

She loved that no matter what was going on around her, she could always find solace in a good book for a few hours. She loved reading about different characters who could live every life she had ever dreamt for herself. It was at the age of 17 that she decided she would study English Literature at University. 

She quickly found a job after leaving University, working for a small independent publisher. She loved her job and although she was disappointed she would never be a famous pop star, at the age of 24 she knew that it was probably for the best. 

“Well, I’m happy that you’re happy and hopefully this will be a good thing for Mclaren as well. It’d be nice to see you guys moving up in the constructors championships!” Mattie smiled at her friend who was practically buzzing with excitement at the prospect. 

“Enough about me, we’ve been talking about me all afternoon. Did you find out from your boss anymore about your job?” Mattie sighed, admittedly she had been avoiding the subject, but such was Adam that he would bring it up eventually.

She had received a call from her boss around a week ago explaining to her that due to the financial pressures Covid had placed upon the small company she worked for, that it was likely they would be liquidating the business before the month was up.

Mattie had been blissfully ignoring the issue, escaping to the dreamland in her head where everything was fine and her employment wasn’t in jeopardy. That dreamland had come crashing down around an hour prior when she had gotten an email from the CEO explaining that they were all being let go effective immediately. 

“Yeah, so, Glenn sent an email about an hour ago confirming it… bit shitty of him to do it over email, but yeah, I’m unemployed” breathing deeply Mattie held back the tears she knew were threatening to escape from her eyes.

“Oh fuck, Mattie, I’m so sorry, I can’t believe you’ve just let me sit here and tell you about all this when you’ve got this bottled inside you, why didn’t you say anything sooner? Are you ok? Do you want a hug? Or is this one of those times where if I hug you it’ll make it worse and you’ll start ugly crying? Do you want me to beat up Glenn? I’ll do it-” 

“Adam stop. I’m fine. Honestly, it sucks, and yeah I’m upset but we knew it was coming. It’s fine, I’ve got some money saved up so I’ll be alright for a little bit and I’ll start sending out CV’s to some companies and I’ve got connections now. I’ll find something, it’s just, yeah, it’s just shit” Mattie said, cutting off Adam from his rambling.

Adam was great, she knew that no matter what she could rely on him to have her back, but he did have a tendency to panic when he thought that his friend was sad.

That’s just how he was, over protective and ready to punch her boss in the face if she asked him to. 

Adam nodded, checking for signs of tears on the girls cheeks. Once he was satisfied she wasn’t going to start crying he stood up and headed for the fridge, opening the door and pulling out a bottle of rose wine he knew Mattie kept there for emergencies.

“Well, in that case, I’ll order us a pizza and what do you say we get drunk and watch a movie? I’ll even let you watch Tangled seeing as I’m such a good best friend”. Mattie grinned looking at him from the sofa. She was so glad he decided to play racing cars with her when they were kids.

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

✯ authors note: hey guys! it's been a bit of a crazy couple days... as a a ferrari gal i'm still a little bit in shock and processing the news tbh. anyways, i've got like 6 days off work so i'm hoping i'll be able to post a couple updates if anyone's interested and reading. still finding my feet a bit with writing/editing again so if anyone has any (helpful) suggestions or feedback pls let me know. asks are always open and would love to chat with some of you :) ✯

[beatrice-otter]

Festivids is live!

As usual, there are a LOT of really good vids, go check them out!

Here are some ones I liked:

The Only Way to See Fandom: Amaury Guichon - Fandom Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Additional Tags: Fanvids, Baking, Chocolate, Pastries, The Artistic Process Summary:

What you feel like, planning a sky.

A fanvid of Amaury Guichon (the chocolate guy).

Lonely Day Fandom: Andor (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Characters: Cassian Andor, Maarva Andor, Bix Caleen, Mon Mothma, Vel Sartha, Luthen Rael, Kino Loy, Cinta Kaz, Dedra Meero, Arvel Skeen, Karis Nemik, Brasso the Ferrixian (Star Wars), Syril Karn, Kleya Marki Additional Tags: Fanvids, Angst, Rebellion, Depictions of Police, Family, authoritarianism, Comrades in Arms, Embedded Video, Physical Triggers, brief shot of auditory torture, ends hopefully Summary:

From the loneliest day, new growth springs. Oppression sows the seeds of its own destruction. Featuring the whole Andor cast of characters but mainly focused on Cassian.

Come Forth Now Fandom: Andor (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Cassian Andor, Luthen Rael, Bix Caleen, Maarva Andor, Brasso the Ferrixian (Star Wars), Vel Sartha, Cinta Kaz, Arvel Skeen, Kleya Marki, Mon Mothma, Kino Loy, Karis Nemik, Taramyn Barcona, Clem Andor, Syril Karn, Ruescott Melshi Additional Tags: Rebellion, Hope, some explosions, Police images, Family, Friendship, Fanvids, Embedded Video Summary:

And this is all we need And this is where we start This is the day we greet This is the day, no other

Boys Keep Swinging Fandom: As You Like It - Shakespeare Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Rosalind | Ganymede (As You Like It) Additional Tags: Fanvids, Embedded Video, Crossdressing, Genderbending, Queer Themes Summary:

When you're a boy Other boys check you out You get a girl These are your favorite things When you're a boy

Drink You Sober Fandom: Bound (1996) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Corky/Violet (Bound) Summary:

'I want to feel you'

We Can Be Anything Fandom: Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Characters: Evelyn Wang, Joy Wang | Jobu Tupaki, Waymond Wang

How to make a perfect Hanukkah movie… Fandom: Hallmark Movies - Fandom, Hitched for the Holidays (2012), Double Holiday (2019), Mistletoe & Menorahs (2019), Love Lights Hanukkah! (2020), Eight Gifts of Hanukkah (2021), Hanukkah on Rye (2022) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Additional Tags: Fanvids, Hanukkah Summary:

…(according to the Hallmark Channel)

Oh No Not Now [Fanvid] Fandom: Philadelphia Story (1940) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Macaulay Connor/C.K. Dexter Haven/Tracy Lord, Macaulay Connor/C.K. Dexter Haven, Macaulay Connor/Tracy Lord, Macaulay Connor/Elizabeth Imbrie, C.K. Dexter Haven/Tracy Lord, C.K. Dexter Haven/Elizabeth Imbrie Summary:

What do I do with this?

The Hunted Fandom: Prey (2022) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Characters: Naru (Prey 2022), Sarii (Prey 2022), Feral Predator (Prey 2022), Bear (Prey 2022) Additional Tags: Action, Hunters & Hunting, Animal Death, Animal Attack Summary:

The hunter becomes the hunted.

[vid] out with a bang Fandom: Robin and Marian (1976), Robin Hood - All Media Types Rating: Mature Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Maid Marian/Robin Hood, Little John/Maid Marian/Robin Hood Characters: Maid Marian, Robin Hood, Little John, Sheriff of Nottingham Additional Tags: Fanvids, Embedded Video, Character Study, Canonical Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide Summary:

I'm way to young to lie here forever, I'm way too old to try, so whatever...

A Marian character study.

magnetic [VID] Fandom: Romeo+Juliet (1996) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Mercutio (Romeo and Juliet) Additional Tags: gender feelings, Fighting Feelings, your crush keeps falling in love with girls feelings, honestly vidding this made me want enemies to lovers fic for mercutio and tybalt, let's skip the sad ending and just be angry together, Fanvids Summary:

Mercutio's been magnetic since he was a baby.

Trust+Fall Fandom: Romeo+Juliet (1996), Romeo And Juliet - Shakespeare Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Juliet Capulet/Romeo Montague Additional Tags: Romcom turned tragedy, Self-Harm, Suicide, Physical Triggers, Depictions of Police Summary:

Juliet met an awesome guy at a big party her parents threw and fell instantly in love! With a meet-cute like that, what could go wrong? (Turns out: literally everything.)

VID: I'm That Queer Fandom: Janelle Monáe Music Videos, Janelle Monae (Musician) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Jane (Dirty Computer), Cindi Mayweather Additional Tags: Physical Triggers, Fast cutting, flashing lights, Glitch effects, Queerphobia, Depictions of Police, Fanvids Summary:

A fanvid of some of Janelle Monáe's Music Videos, focusing on their Cindi Mayweather and Jane characters.

Physical triggers: extensive fast cutting, extensive glitch effects, flashing lights. Other warnings: authoritarian state, queerphobia, depictions of police.

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

NITA STRAUSS Celebrates Nine Years Of Sobriety

Nita Strauss is celebrating the ninth anniversary of her getting sober.

The 37-year-old Alice Cooper guitarist credited the 12-Step program with helping her live her life without alcohol.

Earlier today (Thursday, September 5),she shared an image revealing she has been sober for nine years, 108 months, 3,289 days or 78,916 hours.

During a December 2021 appearance on "Guitar Autopsy", the video podcast hosted by Rusty Cooley, Strauss spoke about how she managed to lose 50 pounds and get sober while on tour back in 2015.

"My whole approach to sobriety and health and fitness is to educate but not ever force," she said. "I wouldn't ever want it to be, like, 'You have to stop drinking. You have to do cardio every day,' or whatever. All I can share is really what worked for me, and that was alcohol was extremely, extremely detrimental in my personal life.

"I got sober in 2015 and I basically just decided to make the most of it and said, 'If I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do it right,'" she continued. "And I switched from going to the bar after the show to going to the Barbell in the morning, for lack of a better term. [Laughs] I hooked up with great bodybuilding coaches that [helped] me [with] my diet and my workout while I'm on the road. I use the right supplements, I eat the right food. I have dieticians at RP Strength, I have a workout coach, I take all the right supplements, I drink my green drinks, I take all my vitamins and I stay on track. And the more I did it, people in our community — the rock and metal community — were starting to ask how I did it. And I was writing these long captions on my phone: 'First things first, you drink a lot of water…' da da da. And so I thought why not inspire people to do more. So I created 'Body Shred'. And 'Body Shred' is the first fitness challenge that I know of that is aimed at the music community."

In 2020, Strauss credited her now-husband and manager Josh Villalta with helping her live her life without alcohol. At the time, she wrote: "I thought I needed a drink for just about everything. To be confident on stage. To be social after shows. To celebrate. To mourn. To take the edge off frustration or the sting out of a bad day. To relax and laugh at lunch with girlfriends, or watch football with the guys on Sundays. I was terrified that my life was going to change, that without alcohol I wouldn't be ME anymore, that I would lose my circle of friends, and my onstage charisma, and become someone else. ALL those things happened... but not in the way I thought they would.

"Change came first in my relationship, in the form of less fighting and drama, and more productivity, peace and love. Thank you @thejoshv for being the catalyst to the best thing I ever did for myself. I love you.

"The ME that I was before would have stayed up until 6 am at the bar or in the bus front lounge. The ME that I became would rather get up at 6 and get to the gym before starting the day.

"My busy circle of friends was almost immediately reduced to a core 3. I've learned that when it comes to friendships, quality is ALWAYS better than quantity. If your friends have no interest in spending time with you after you make a change for the better, they weren't your real friends.

"My first show without alcohol was in front of 15,000 people. I felt like a scarecrow someone had propped up on stage to scare birds. Nothing felt natural. I was going through the motions, with this absurd idea running through my head 'everyone is looking at me. Everyone knows.'

"I went out by the bus to talk to fans afterward, and do you know what they said? 'Wow you were so great! Where do you get all that energy? You add so much to Alice's band!'

"ALL of that insecurity, ALL the fears, ALL the doubt was in my head. Those are your demons that make you think you need them.

"I'm content to sit at the bar, order a soda water with lime and watch the game now. I wouldn't trade back to my old life for anything."

Back in 2018, Nita spoke openly about how she got finally sober in September 2015, saying that Josh has always been "a tough-love type" in the way she approached her sobriety. "He's, like, 'Look, you're on this path, and I support you, but I'm not changing the way I do things at all," she explained in an interview with "Chasing Glory With Lilian Garcia". "And I'm kind of glad, in retrospect, that he did that, because it threw me into the fire and showed me, like, 'Hey, you can be [around people who are drinking] and not drink.' He has continued to drink throughout [this entire period], but he didn't want me to drink, because when I would drink, I would start fights and I would get emotional and I would overreact to stupid things, like you do when you drink — it's part of drinking; it heightens all your emotions and everything." Nita also revealed that she has never participated in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) to help her stay sober.

[astriiformes]

I've received a number of grateful messages from folks at school about how I handled the difficult situation we ran into the other day in the queer student center where someone really needed to step up and mediate things, as well as another situation I handled in our Discord server today, and it's got some complicated and I think much-needed thoughts turning around in my head.

I really struggle with self-esteem. It was more fragile than I realized as a kid, and crumbled completely when I started running into trouble with college, since academic success was pretty much the only thing propping it up. I've never really rebuilt it since. I've worked on it, and I won't say I've made no progress. But it's still a total shambles, and I still have a lot of trouble liking myself at all. Everywhere I turn it seems like I make mistakes that hurt my self-image instead of helping it -- struggling with school again, dropping the ball on other responsibilities, getting stressed out over my friendships and having trouble trusting people or understanding why they even like me, etc. No matter how hard I try, I don't like myself as an academic, or a colleague, or as a friend.

But I do consistently like the person I am when I intervene in stressful situations as a mediator. I like the version of me that gently explains the ways we ought to have compassion for each other, and how no movement will ever get anywhere important if we spend all our time tearing each other down. I like the person who faces down cops and asks if they've read my neighbors their rights, even though my voice shakes the whole time, who talks loudly and openly about trans and queer issues in class, who marched down the street to a local elementary school running a food drive when my city was in crisis and asked if they needed any help, and who shows up for protests in below-freezing weather.

I've said before that I don't know what I want to do after I graduate, but I know it needs to be something where I feel like I'm having a positive impact on the world. But I think it's bigger than that. I think it's something I genuinely need to arrange my life around more, whatever that looks like. I have imposter syndrome in the extreme, and am always convinced someone else will do a better job than me at anything important. And I think one reason activism and advocacy feel a little different is because even though I'm usually terrified, I'm stepping up to do things that other people are too scared to do, or need help to do at all.

The other day my school hosted an activism and advocacy networking event with alumni in social justice-oriented jobs. And I talked to several people who were interesting during the first few rotations around the room, but I ended up spending about half the evening chatting with someone who used to be a part of the same queer student group on campus that I'm in now, and has since gone on to co-found a black liberation organization here in the Cities -- where I remember dropping off medical supplies for protestors back in 2020. We talked about a lot of things, but one of them was about finding the intersection of everything that makes you.... you.... and figuring out where in the world that's needed and chasing that.

I don't know what that is exactly, and I'm not sure exactly where a transgender-aro-ace-neurodivergent-mental illness-disabled-historian-scientist-writer-orator-musician-mediator-???-activist belongs or has the most to offer. Especially one who also has often-debilitating anxiety. But I think when I get scared about the future -- or when I'm spiraling over how much I hate myself, or how I think other people can do the things I care about better -- I need to remember that the version of myself I like the most is the one that fights for other people. And that other people seem to appreciate that person too.

It's not a solution for my problems with self-esteem, but I think it might be a start.

[onenettvchannel]

LATE-BREAKING NEWS: American YouTube Star 'Motionwarrior' evicted her home in New York, became homelessness and permanently leaves their YouTube channel [#K5NewsFMExclusive]

(Written by Rhayniel Saldasal Calimpong / Freelanced News Writer, Online Media Reporter and News Presenter of OneNETnews)

MANHASSET, NEW YORK -- A YouTube content creator named 'Motionwarrior', whose real name as Ms. Rachel, hailing from Port Washington in New York was unjustly evicted last month, where she is now became homeless, because of her mental health, severe financial constraints, college difficulties that forced to be voluntarily dropped out, and completely rejected for having a job in her own state of America.

Her friends in high school & college combined, as well with families are all in part ways to lose contact from their personal life and internet circle, feeling alone and unable to understand why their inactivity happened, or need for time to realign themselves led to friendships ending.

Ms. Rachel, known online as 'Motionwarrior' is a 23 y/o female American YouTuber and self-freelanced animator. Her content on YouTube sparked nearly 200,000 subscribers, after she was first joined on this video-sharing platform in the late mid-June 2015. She occasionally focuses on content related to video games, animation and storytelling. It covers various topics, including relatable experiences, her school life and more.

But that's not all, her potential earnings in statistics according to SocialBlade are for annual earnings generate nearly between U$D600 to U$D9,500 (or PHP35,100 to PHP554,758). It is unclear if she was a legitimate member for monetization of the YouTube Partner Programme (YPP). She was taking a break from her own YouTube channel, after the previously uploaded "Stealing My Mom's Credit Card 2" a few years back in late August 2020, but this came out very unexpectedly. Rachel quit her video-sharing platform permanently.

Rachel talks about what they have gone through with their YouTube channel when her videos not reaching their typical online viewers, subscribers complaining that they aren't seeing uploads in their feeds, and self-criticism regarding their content that was yet to have possibly been shadowbanned on its search results. They mention becoming overly critical of their videos and developing an unhealthy means of self-discipline, leading to immense self-hatred and a belief that their efforts were not enough.

For years, the Coronavirus Disease-19 (CoViD-19) affecting New Yorkers including herself -- confirmed positive during the global pandemic days. But today, however, in a final video uploaded on Saturday (July 6th, 2024), Rachel discusses the intense incidents and situations they faced while attending her college and commuting in New York, leading to issues in their personal life and family unraveling into chaos and brokenness due to mental health concerns. Comparing to 'VidCon' at the Anaheim Convention Center in California, previously on the early mid-July 2019, added into pressure to perform better on YouTube and being forced to attend college despite financial constraints.

Last month on Thursday (June 13th, 2024)… Her image, family and personality of YouTube have reportedly evicted and became homeless, paying the last ounce of a local hotel room while trying to seek help personally online or facing suicide in advance. Theoratically, Rachel needs to change strategies and self re-training by trying make something new to viewers without criticizing her negativity in mental health. It is their way of humbly and shamefully pleading for assistance to support her family at this trying moment.

Wrapping of her final video uploaded on YouTube, Rachel setting up her own GoFundMe page and pitching for donations of U$D859,000 (or nearly PHP50.2M). Minimum donations starts at U$D5 and up. Since 'Motionwarrior' cannot afford to attend 'VidCon' events and other several reasons today, you can be part of it with your support to donate via the GoFundMe website.

Life goes hard about money, her dream job but later rejected, and brazenly call it quits on her YouTube channel… The reality is to keep trying what is best until you succeed, rather failing to yourself to attract new audiences. One day, 'Motionwarrior' will soon become popular if she is eligible to collab other YouTubers like 'JaidenAnimations', 'Saberspark' and among others, once she is yet to recover her personal life when pursuing her dreams by choosing the right paths to the future.

CONTRIBUTED PHOTO COURTESY via GoFundMe BACKGROUND PROVIDED BY: Tegna

EDITOR's NOTE from Rhayniel: If you're reading this Motionwarrior, in my Tagalog dialect… Huwag mawalan ng pag-asa para dito. Laban lang!

SOURCE: *https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-secure-a-home-for-family-unjustly-evicted *https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIFL5AIi5_8 [Referenced YT VIDEO via Motionwarrior] *https://www.famousbirthdays.com/people/motionwarrior.html and *https://socialblade.com/youtube/channel/UCptTTLvJDQjVLVTSw-tVrxw/

-- OneNETnews Online Publication Team

[she-karev]

A Day in Hell (Amber Karev Angst)

Previous Part

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: Two of Six

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Fancast: Bruce Greenwood as Ian Talbert

Canon Episode: Season 17 Episode 1

AN: I wanted to do a story to showcase the hardships health care workers faced when covid hit. The doctors and nurses put our health first during a worldwide crisis and we should be forever grateful for that even without a pandemic to prove what should always be known.

Summary: Amber looks at Ian’s scans and the results are not what she hoped.

Words: 538

Chapter Links Here: 1,2,3,4,5,6

April 1st, 2020

Amber and Jackson sit in the chairs in the monitor room watching Ian as he lays inside the MRI waiting for the images to come up.

“How’s your mom holding up?” Jackson asks.

“She’s good. She’s doing a lot of reading and knitting, and Aaron comes over as much as he can. Lucky she’s a hoarder who had a bunch of vitamins in the back of her medicine cabinet.”

“Do you think she could ship those to us?” Amber grins, “My mom is good too.”

Amber narrows her eyes at the mention of Catherine who she still resents for firing her brother twice. Once when he came forward as an accomplice to Meredith’s insurance fraud and the second time when she bought his hospital out of pure spite towards her husband not caring who is collateral damage in the process. Alex fortunately was able to become co chief of peds with Hayes here but his sister’s ire toward Catherine hasn’t diminished.

Jackson continues not seeing Amber’s disdain, “She’s getting lonely without Richard in the house, so she lets Harriet sleep over. It’s pretty much the only thing keeping her sane since surgeries are suspended.”

“Well as long as Catherine Fox is happy all is right with the world.” Amber responds in obvious sarcasm that causes Jackson to frown.

“I guess we’re still feeling petty towards my mother.”

“Your mother who stood by and let Bailey fire my brother.” Amber reminds her friend who looks at her with narrow eyes, “Your mother who made Tom Koracick the boss of us. Your mother who bought the hospital my brother was just starting to shape with his bare hands on his own just to spite her husband who was suffering from cobalt at the time.”

“She didn’t know about the cobalt.”

“Oh so it was okay for her to humiliate her husband in every way professionally as long as he was healthy?”

“No, I’m not saying that I just-”

Amber holds her hand up, “You know what if we keep going your probably gonna kick me out after I say something really raunchy towards the woman who gave birth to you so for the sake of our friendship, we are gonna stop talking and just wait for the scans.”

Jackson gets a text alert and checks, “Oh man. Burn trauma is coming in, I’m being paged.”

Amber widens her eyes at that, “Really? Please take me with you, I’ll do the dishes for three weeks, laundry too!”

Jackson gets up, “Nope somebody has to be here and tell Ian what his scans are showing and that is where you come in. I gotta go, page Pierce to take over.”

Amber scoffs at Jackson as he walks away, “I hate you!”

“I know you do!” Jackson closes the door behind him and runs off.

Suddenly the scans come up on the monitor and Amber turns to look at them before the sight stops her dead. The images show that there are ground glass opacities around Ian’s lungs, the spread of it indicates he is developing pneumonia. Coupled with the covid and decrease in oxygen intake Amber estimates that without rapid treatment Ian won’t be able to last the night.

[mariacallous]

A former city councillor and member of the Massachusetts national guard who is wanted in the US on child sexual abuse image charges has fled the country and joined the Russian army fighting in Ukraine.

Wilmer Puello-Mota, 28, former city councillor of Holyoke, Massachusetts, went missing on 7 January, two days before he was scheduled to appear in court in Rhode Island in possession of child sexual abuse images and obstruction of justice charges.

This week, Puello-Mota resurfaced at an enlistment centre in the Russian region of Khanty-Mansiysk in western Siberia, where he was captured on film signing a military contract, seated in a room adorned with photographs of Vladimir Putin and the defence minister, Sergei Shoigu

“An American signed a military contract at the patriots centre in Khanty-Mansiysk,” reads a message accompanying the video published by the region’s official channel on Telegram.

Prior to signing the contract with the Russian military, Puello-Mota appears to have fought as a volunteer alongside Russian troops during Moscow’s capture of the Ukrainian town of Avdiivka in February.

That month, Russian pro-war channels circulated footage of a blurred figure in combat fatigues planting the US flag in the ruins of a Ukrainian city in support of Russia.

“I’m here to plant the US flag as a sign of friendship and support for all the things people are enduring here,” the person in the video said, his face blurred.

“I feel proud to be here.”

The Massachusetts-based newspaper the Republican said that people who know Puello-Mota had recognised his voice in the clip.

Appearing to confirm his participation in the battle for Avdiivka, Puello-Mota in the clip on Wednesday described previously fighting in Ukraine as part of the pro-Russian Pyatnashka international paramilitary group.

“I definitely would do it again,” he is heard saying.

Puello-Mota was first arrested in 2020 after police in Rhode Island discovered sexually explicit images of an underage girl on his phone. According to court documents, he told police that he thought the girl was 22, and only learned later that she was 17.

He was later charged with forgery, counterfeiting and obstruction of the judicial system after he allegedly told one of his commanders at the Massachusetts Air National Guard that the child sexual abuse image charges in Rhode Island were fake.

Puello-Mota is a former member of the 104th Fighter Wing of the Massachusetts Air National Guard, according to the US regional Masslive outlet.

After failing to attend his court hearing, the Rhode Island attorney general’s office issued a statement saying Puello-Mota boarded a Turkish Airlines flight to Istanbul on 7 January.

“His whereabouts from that location are unknown,” the court said at the time.

Puello-Mota did not respond to a request for comment.

His Facebook page now features a picture of Puello-Mota in full military gear operating a drone while he lists his current job as the Russian defence ministry.

Since the start of the war in Ukraine, Russia has introduced a series of laws to lure foreign citizens to join its ranks. Nationals from Cuba, Syria, Nepal and Serbia have all been deployed on the Russian side of the war.

But it is rare for fighters from the EU, UK or the US to join the Russian army. At least two British men are believed to be fighting with Russian forces in Ukraine.

Pro-war bloggers close to the Russian military and state media on Thursday made no mention of Puello-Mota’s fugitive status in the US, instead spinning his defection as a PR coup for Moscow.

“Will served in the US armed forces, but after realising what was really happening in Ukraine, he joined the war as a volunteer a few months ago. Together with the Russian guys, he liberated Avdeevka shoulder to shoulder,” the prominent pro-war blogger Yuri Kotenok wrote on telegram.

Another Russian report said: “[Puello-Mota] is staunchly convinced of the need to support Russia and admires the tenacity and heroism of our soldiers.”

[safyresky]

Frostmas Year 5: Behind the Scenes

Prologue | Y1 | Y2 | Y3 | Y4 | Y5 | Y6 | Y7 | Y8 | Y9 | Y10 | Y11 | Y12

[To Read Frostmas: From the TOP on ao3 | ff dot net]

We are writing this one FRESH from the second to last edit of the 2024 version! A shorter one for sure, as this is very much the calm before the storm chapter, but a fun one anyway >:)

Let's fucking GOOOO

Jacqueline's Intro: SO MUCH LORE

So much lore I'm gonna have to tag this as CS Lore and CS FACTS

Anyway

I think this was the first time, when originally writing, that I properly opened with Jacqueline's Intro and recognized it as part of the structure of a Frostmas Year

It was a HUGE lore dump! I toned it down a notch this time around, streamlined it and such, and updated the lore as I've got the frozen heart thing tightened UP

It's a sprite thing, so it's like this:

Sprites

Personified Natural Elements

Two types:

Season (has domain over entire season's worth of elements)

Elemental (has domain over one element, i.e., fire, air, water, earth, flora, fauna, winds, etc.)

Elementals typically classify themselves by their element, but will align with a season as a catch all

The season they align with dictates how their hardened hear manifests

LORE! YAY!

(Also, I wrote this in Word so lets see if the bulleted list stays >:3)

(OMG IT DID. Well, in the editor. We'll see how it looks post posting...)

Fun fact: I did a DnD campaign with my pals where sprites were playable characters, and I made them a race sheet and EVERYTHING. They are DEFFS OP but it's a homebrew--we work on it, lol

And also we only played like, 3 or 4 sessions and then fell out bc we all moved or what have you lol

BUT the dnd-ing DID help me refine sprite lore!

Elemental sprites are WAY more common that seasonal sprites. There are only NINE seasonal sprites in existence these days. WAY more elemental sprites around

The Call NERFED sprites

You can thank Snowy and Heat for that one (as Jacqueline mentions in her intro!)

The Snow Queen and the Winter Warlock are Winter's bio parents, and this was the very first time I dropped their names. They make a proper appearance in The Call!

The Snow Queen stealing children references the original fairy tale in the most Jacqueline way possible

And the Winter Warlock is HEAVILY based on the man of the same name from Rankin Bass's Santa Claus is Comin' to Town. Those movies SHAPED ME. CS Lore originally had RB lore, too! And RB movies did influence CS in general!

So many fun facts and I'm not even through the intro yet! WOW!

I did cleverly link CS when Jacqueline drops the Pyros lore 🤭🤭 I LOVE AO3'S CAPABILITIES, YOU GUYS

I CAN'T DO THAT SHIT ON FF DOT NET!

"It used to be a point of pride for me."

This line almost went "It used to be a point of pride for me. But it's hard to take pride in a lie"

Which is a BANGER of a line, but I am trying to keep the Y10 Reveal under wraps and that's as obvious as Pyros's lament to Blaise in Chapter 15 of CS.

You can see the 2020s influences now, which is very funny given this was all originally written almost a decade ago. I love seeing growth! But that's why Jacqueline is like THE HORRORS and also like NEWSFLASH, JACQUELINE! Which is a reference to one of my favourite It's Always Sunny reaction images:

It's so VERSATILE. Deffs top 10 things Dani quotes (and apparently Jacqueline. Which checks out as we are CONNECTED, muses and such. Oldest OC. Has the most dani-isms. Blah blah blah)

Then there's the "be the change you wish to see in the world" with her being like "YOU can be the change you want to see in this horrible terrible timeline!"

Which is a string of words I see on hellsite a LOT :)

Describing her fit was FUN! You can see it accurately (more or less) in this scrimbly Jacqueline, and also this Jacquie as a meme doodle!

And of course, off she goes to terrorize B-Man :)

Scene 1: Every Day Bernard WAKES UP

Their friendship is so fun to me and me alone 🥰🥰

She's such a sweetie. She's like "I will make things HELL for my brother BUT only if it's okay with Bernard first bc I don't wanna make things harder than they are for him 👉🏻👈🏻"

Him being B-Man, of course

Have you guys ever read Just An Elf by Locrain-Mode? If you haven't, I STRONGLY RECOMMEND IT (hence the link!) It's a group of oneshots based on Bernard and things he is NOT, and each one SLAPS. They write SUCH a good Bernard and B-Man's office just being a mess of paper was low key inspired by their work, lol (Chapter 5: One of Roemer's Singing Elves. I LOVED the idea of B's office just being like a vault/hidey hole. LOVED it)

FAVE B-Man characterization, hands DOWN. I strive to write him that good (and I hope I do! :)

"You should know first hand how frozen sprites get!” followed by "What's THAT supposed to mean?!" Is 100% Jacqueline getting a wee bit defensive on her Mom's behalf (and maybe a bit of Jack's but she's just going to ignore THAT feeling)

But B-Man is very, very right--usually post-hardening a heart, sprites rely on one emotion to get them through things so. Y'know. What'll it be for Jacqueline? ;)

And of COURSE he can see right through the illusion after he's done lamenting lol. He's an ELF. I bet they can see through all sorts of illusions!

“Yeah, I’ll say! I think I may be having a heart attack.” “Do you smell burnt toast?” “No, just betrayal.” “There’s no need to be so dramatic.”

^This interaction is my favourite in this scene, 100%. Bernard deserves to be a lil overdramatic! As a TREAT!

VESUVIUS/POMPEII! This is a fun bit of CS lore. Originally it was that Blaise and Jack were responsible for Vesuvius erupting and destroying Pompeii and Herculaneum, but that has since changed! They don’t talk about it much, only Winter really knows what happened, but take a tl;dr:

FT tells Blaise to go see Jack in Pompeii bc something bad is about to happen, doesn't specify what. Blaise, of course, assumes the worst, as you are wont to do when it's Jack. Takes the day, gets fitted by the tailors, off to Pompeii where he finds Jack who has built a nice little life for himself. He's got lots of friends and is getting involved with local politics, and Blaise is like "is this why FT told me to get over here? Does a bad thing happen if Jack wins? Everything seems fine here" and then BOOM. TREMORS. Jack informs him the mountain may be a volcano but nobody's bothered to check and he sure as shit won't. Blaise checks. Jack follows. Volcano day happens. Blaise saves Jack's life. But they can't save anyone else :(

It's ANGSTY! Can't wait to write it one day! I've already done research for it and everything!

So YEAH that's Pompeii in CS context. And yes, Jack did keep a bust!

"This doesn't feel right" says Bernard. "I should've listened" narrates Jacqueline. "my GOD I love foreshadowing" says safyresky as she types this up…

I think I'll need to make the line " I got up, standing tall and proud in my fluffy socks" a scrimbly. I just doodled it while writing this out and the sketch SENT ME. My god.

Scene 2: Bernard Hams it UP

Aka, the scene in which Dani realizes how ding dang crafty she has made Jack. WHOOPS

Exploring his POV has been fun, especially with the edits I've been making while crossposting, where it's his perspective being told to us by Jacqueline as he recounts to her in the present? If that makes sense

ANYWAY, making the distinctions and adding the little Jacqueline interruptions (see: the line about dwarfs) has been a LOT of fun

As much fun as Bernard had HAMMING IT UP in this scene when he delivered the frozen Jacqueline news to Jack >:3

Love me a Jack moment of clarity! Love having him look through the villain fog for a second like "wait is this…wrong? Fucked up?' only for the fog to be like SHUSH! NO! IT'S FINE! And regularly scheduled villainy is back in play!

Bernard asking why was interesting, because I was also wondering why Jack wanted more deets. And it's a combo of two things: 1) the obvious is she frozen? Ou. Maybe…new ally, perhaps? To get my little theme park business off the ground? And 2) oh shit I froze my bb sister :(

(in villain fog voice) YES NEW ALLY! PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE GUILT UNDER THE ICE!

"And something about that terrified him" man, these blorbos are getting the shadowed fore'd out of them and it is just not hitting, CRAZY!

Scene 3: Jack's a crafty one

That's it that's the BTS for this bit. He's CRAFTY

And YES, knew that it was fake originally but needs want, as we see in the next scene--he needs Jacqueline close by to make sure she doesn't SNITCH (as well as access to her repertoire), and she needs to keep tabs on him, for the GREATER GOOD (as well as for purposes of trying to find a way to prove to everyone that she's right and fix the timeline)

And it only hit me HERE. IN THIS SCENE. THAT HE KNEW THE ENTIRE TIME AND WAS ONE STEP AHEAD OF EVEN ME!

Frostmas is exhausting

Scene 4: Cold Front Face Off at the Dome

Jacqueline channels Winter bc that's all she knows for a frozen sprite that isn't Jack, and felt it'd give best results

She's not wrong but also is not right--frozen hearts are personalized, after all. She wouldn't be sad nor filled with avarice; she'd simply be FULL OF RAGE (spoiler alert, I GUESS)

Fun fact about the Frozen reference: it came out around the time I was working on Crystal Springs for the very first time! It informed a lot of the scenes. In fact, Cold Front reunion had Jacqueline literally quoting Elsa's mantra! Not anymore--I fixed that this year--but thought the throwback here would be funny. DON’T EXPLODE. DON'T EXPLODE. RARGH. DON'T EXPLODE. DON'T EXPLODE--and so on

(The Summer Sprite blood is STRONG in this one)

Look, we all know Santa Jack was certainly…a look. A choice, if you will. Jacqueline's just SAYING what we're all THINKING

Not Jack trying to catch up Jacqueline by egging her on. And then going GOTCHYA. It's so OBVIOUS he's not buying it, it's so CUTE how Jacqueline thinks it works

(maybe it does work a little TOO well given the events of Year 10)

Translator's note: coconut frosts is magical censoring for coconut fucks.

Y'know. These fuckers:

Scene 5: Well played to well played

Was well played on MY PART! One of my FAVOURITE transitions, I LOVE showing similarities between Jack and Jacqueline, ESPECIALLY in an angsty context like this! Something, something, BECOMING WHAT YOU FEAR MOST/DOING WHAT YOU FEAR MOST TO THOSE YOU LOVE~!

This had major editing done. Like, once I knew Jack saw through the farce, I couldn't have any of the old 'he bought it' drivel. Jacqueline, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry you think you got away with this and that he actually knew the entire time 😬

He just needs to make sure he knows why she did it, which is really Jack for 'making sure she's not on to me re: resort thing yet'

Scene 6: YET ANOTHER NEW BOP TO THE RECOUNTING!

I thought Y4 would be the last one, but Y5 surprised me

This one was fun. Thanks to the people who voted in the poll so I could figure out where they were, lmao

Hit you with the COLD FRONT feels and then a banger of a Jack line RIGHT AFTER

Seriously, I am really loving these little retelling segues. I just hope they don't make the blast to the present in Y9 less jarring!

Scene 7: cookies and cocoa

Crystal Springs has a time zone! I believe it's -8:30 hours? I'll have to double check, I know I wrote it down somewhere and I'm pretty sure it's a crystal springs fact post too 🤔

I checked! It's -8:30 GMT :)

"I'm not doing a sport!" She actually IS doing a sport. Bother-your-brother-on-purpose-athon, specifically

"It was for the greater good, I told myself. I was a big, frosty liar" FACT! More foreshadowing at play here, huehuehue >:3

"It’s like wading through molasses" THE STRENGTH I EXERTED TO NOT PUT A BIT IN HERE ABOUT THE BOSTON MOLASSES DISASTER IN 1919 IS ACTUALLY ASTOUNDING.

Scene 7.5: B-Man's…house?

So, sometimes, when I write, I do say the thing I want to write out loud and that's how we get organic moments like "He was all ‘what’s all this then’ and I was like ‘this is who I am now!’ and he was all ‘oh cool let’s make a deal’ and ‘bleh all is forgiven’"

Jacqueline is just having a TIME

I think I have seen in most fics Bernard always being in the Workshop, but I picture him having a nice lil tidy house just outside of the main hub of the shop! For some odd reason, despite thinking it is a bungalow, in my head I picture TWO sets of stairs up. What the fuck is up with THAT

But anyway, that's why I have Jacquie tease B about his house--when does he ever use it? 🤭🤭

Translators note: "snow queen PLEASE" is magic censoring for bitch PLEASE

Frostmas only gets swears when Jacqueline is thinking, not when she is speaking--UNLESS she is out and about in the world, so if she says a swear she is NOT in Crystal Springs! Fun fact for you all tonight :)

Scene 8: Jacqueline's discovery

I originally wrote it so short and jumpy because I thought the chapter was getting too long at 7k words

TOO LONG. CAN YOU IMAGINE?

I added a whole 5k words. And that was AFTER getting rid of some lore drop! AH!

I think though that I like it like this now! I don’t have the patience to go month by month to see how Jacqueline has been irritating Jack, and the quick, punchy summaries make the conclusion one HELL OF A PUNCH

Okay this is the last scene and I'm OVER this and said the funny things I wanted to say so I am CALLING IT HERE. ENJOY Y5 BTS AND ENJOY THE 2024 EDITION OF YEAR 5, WHICH WILL BE FORTHCOMING 💖💖

[natreads]

Collected Works by Lydia Sandgren

Aahh I’ve been thinking about whether I should buy myself a copy so that I can recommend it “properly” with a picture, but one of my favorite Swedish books has finally come out in an English translation, so here’s my official recommendation for all non-Swedish readers:

Collected Works by Lydia Sandgren (translated from Swedish by Agnes Broomé - original title Samlade Verk)

Picture and text copied from Penguin Random House’s website:

A compelling mystery and poignant bildungsroman for readers of Karl Ove Knausgård, Collected Works is a novel about love, power, and art—and what leads us to make the pivotal decisions that change the course of our lives. Martin Berg’s wife, Cecilia, disappeared years ago. His memories of their carefree college days seem ever out of reach, and the intellectual curiosities that once made him the object of her desire have given way to midlife uncertainty. The methodical and quiet life he’s made for himself and his adult children couldn’t be further from the one he dreamed of in his youth, when the manuscripts lying around his apartment were flush with promise and his ailing publishing house was still new. Perhaps nothing reminds Martin of these failures more than his friend Gustav Becker, a wildly successful painter who’s returned to Gothenburg on the eve of his career-defining retrospective. Gustav, meanwhile, is hurting too. His obsession with Cecilia’s inexplicable disappearance had made his art hagiographic, fixated on her image. When posters for Gustav’s retrospective plaster Cecilia’s face on major billboards across the city, Martin’s daughter Rakel learns a haunting fact that points toward her mother’s whereabouts. She and her brother chase this clue across time, memory, and Europe to discover why Cecilia abandoned her family, with the imagined hope that the question of what makes a person leave can ever be answered. Collected Works, a major hit in Sweden, sold over 100,000 copies in its first year in print, instantly making Lydia Sandgren a literary sensation. Winner of the 2020 August Prize for Fiction, the novel is set to publish in 17 territories.

This novel was one of my favorites from 2021 and I still find myself thinking of it. It’s about books and writing and art and friendship and the way we hold onto the past. A man tries to romanticize the art of writing, which in itself turns into satire. I recognize myself as a teenager or young adult so much in those pages, or maybe I only see a version of myself I wish I’d been.

[rockislandadultreads]

New Title Tuesday: Mysteries

Play the Fool by Lina Chern

For Katie True, a keen gut and quick wit are just tools of the trade. After a failed attempt at adulting in Chicago, she's back in the suburbs living a bit too close to her overbearing parents, jumping from one dead-end job to the next, and flipping through her tarot deck for guidance. Then along comes Marley.

Mysterious, worldly, and comfortable in her own skin, Marley takes a job at the mall where Katie peddles Russian tchotchkes. The two just get each other. Marley doesn't try to fix Katie's life or pretend to be someone she's not, and Katie thinks that with Marley's friendship she just might make it through this rough patch after all. So one day, having been encouraged by Marley to practice soothsaying, Katie reads tarot for someone who stumbles into her shop. But when she sneaks a glance at his phone, she finds more than just clairvoyant intel. She finds a photo. Of Marley. With a gunshot wound to the head.

The bottom falls out of Katie's world. Her best friend is dead? Who killed her? She quickly realizes there are some things her tarot cards can't foresee, and she must put her razor-sharp instincts to the ultimate test. But the truth has deadly consequences, and Katie's recklessness lands her in the crossfire of a threat she never saw coming. Now Katie must use her street smarts and her inner Strength card to solve Marley's murder--or risk losing everything.

Murder on Bedford Street by Victoria Thompson

Hugh Breedlove is far from the most agreeable client private investigator Frank Malloy has ever had, but his case is impossible to refuse: his young niece, Julia, has been wrongfully committed to an insane asylum by her cruel and unfaithful husband, Chet Longly. Though Breedlove and his wife seem more interested in protecting the family reputation than their niece’s safety, Frank and Sarah agree to help for the sake of Julia and the young son she left behind.

Frank and Sarah’s investigation reveals a dark secret—a maid at the Longly home died suspiciously under Chet’s watch, and now it seems Julia’s son might also be in danger. The Malloys fear they are dealing with a man more dangerous than they had anticipated, one who will do anything to defame his wife. But all is not as it seems in the Longly family, and perhaps another monster is hiding in plain sight....

This is the 26th volume in the “Gaslight Mystery” series. 

Just Murdered by Katherine Kovacic

Peregrine Fisher is unexpectedly summoned to a meeting of the Adventuresses' Club of the Antipodes, where she learns some incredible news.

When Adventuress Florence Astor is accused of murder, Peregrine jumps at the chance to help on the case. Detective James Steed, initially dismissive, quickly finds Peregrine's flair for investigating and headstrong nature leave him little choice.

A second shocking death occurs and Detective Steed's boss, Inspector Sparrow, demands the case be brought to a close with suspicious speed.

With Sparrow issuing threats, time is running out for Peregrine. It seems she's set herself an impossible task, but then, as Detective Steed says, 'never underestimate a woman named Fisher'.

This is the first volume in the “Ms. Fisher’s Modern Murder Mysteries” series. 

The Body in the Web by Katherine Hall Page 

Faith Fairchild joins the rest of the world in lockdown mode when reality flips in March 2020. As the pandemic spreads, Faith and her family readjust to life together in Aleford, Massachusetts. Her husband, Tom, continues his sermons from Zoom; their children, Ben, who's in college, and Amy, a high school senior, are doing remote learning at home .

Faith is happy to have her family under the same roof and grateful for her resilient community, friends, and neighbors in Aleford. Town halls remain lively and well-attended, despite residents joining from their living rooms. It is at one of these town halls that scandal breaks out. In the midst of a Zoom meeting, damaging images suddenly flash upon everyone’s screens. Claudia, local art teacher and Faith’s dear friend, is immediately recognized as the woman who has been targeted.

When Claudia is later discovered dead, Faith, with the help of her friends, journeys deep into the dark web to unravel the threads of Claudia’s mysterious history and shocking passing.

This is the 26th volume in the “Faith Fairchild” series. 

[the-queerview]

Churails (2020)

by Asim Abbasi

Churails is a pakistani drama web series directed by Asim Abbasi for the indian entertainment channel Zindagi.

The series deals with four maincharacters, Zubaida, who is a college student and a secret boxer, who lives with her muslim, conservative family.Sara, who is a rich housewife of a politcian and an ex lawyer, Jugnu, an elite wedding planner and Batool, who just currently was released out of prison for killing her husband with an iron. Those four women connect trough different circumstances after Sara finds out her husband Jamil was cheating on her. She starts a burka store called halal designs, which runs undercover a cheating husband exposing bizniz. They find a time of other women for their bizniz and together they deal with their intense cases, one including a cannibal housewife. Together they are Churails, which means witches in urdu. چڑیل

The pace of the series is very fast. Many unexpected and expected stories happen under the churails. I haven't seen a show in a while with such intense story telling. Within short time as an audience you develop a good base of the character development. There is trans representation within the show and even LESBIANS.

Besides the complex society and class rules within their life and the personal dramas intertwined, the series is also dealing with colonial past, lgbtqia* issues, misogyny and racism within pakistani society ( I assume? I never been to Pakistan, so I can't tell actually, but within this show all those struggles are addressed) Abbasi said about including baby doll : "The fact that she’s transgender is not addressed on the show and that is deliberate. It’s not that I was overlooking her identity or ashamed of it. It was to show the women coming to the agency were all equal.” The title of the show literally translates to mean witches, but is more commonly used as an insult for rebellious women. “The associations of women who don’t conform with witchcraft is a global phenomenon, but in Pakistan specifically, any woman who is sexually and emotionally liberated, who has the ability to be aggressive when threatened is called a churail. We are taking it as a badge of honour.”

I love this show a lot, since besides those awful and heartbreaking stories, the main reason to watch this show are the amazing female characters, the friendship between those women and their will to fight injustice. They are kind of superheros I would say. Also I was very surprised by a positive depicition of men, who are part of the churails and help them to solve their cases, to do something right. I think it's important to show solidarity between gender depictions within a tv show for a possible utopia? Like call me out if I'm wrong but usually its women* playing supportive roles in a all men cast, we saw it many many times. But here the guys are the enemies, but as well there are supportive characters? So show a different path to follow.

Unfortunately the show was banned in Pakistan and many celebrities voices their anger about the canceling of the show.

Considering writing about this show, since it's not made by a queer of female director I had my issues. After researching deeper into the revolutionary cloud of this show, i find out its the first lesbian on screen show ever in Pakistan. in an interview with the guardian Abbasi said: “While we aren’t where we should be in terms of diversity, we have to start somewhere and adaptations are culturally rich,” said Abbasi. “You could say that Churails should have been made by a woman, but those opportunities aren’t there for women in Pakistan yet so I want to be an ally so their stories can be told.”

So I hope you guys forgive me, but I feel like it's worth to see all those actresses and this amazing story and yeah we are all in this together. <3 Cuz at the end of the day, i love the power of image making. I learn trough visual language about language ( literally speaking three languages daily I need to see a picture in my head if you talk to me).

Also I promise for my next review to write about a kazakhstani film, since i feel like many things in the show I couldn't understand out of lack of cultural knowledge, so it's time to write about something that I might be able to understand. And still I think it's very important to show my chapeau for this show. What a ride. Literally i was crying like many times. The actresses and actors were out of league. Like I was actually waiting daily from my moneyjobs to come home to see what the churails are fighting next.

ok by

cheery,

the queeeerview heheheh

[alarrytale]

Hi Marte, I'm a new fan from 2020 onwards, and I just discovered your blog, which is a fantastic resource. So first, I want to say thank-you for keeping it up all these years. I was reading it late into the night and was surprised to see you talking about H in 2013 having a promotional contract with the BBC, and it seemed like you were saying that his friendship with Nick Grimshaw was also promo. Did I understand that correctly? Was that a theory back in the day? As I haven't heard about this idea before. I thought their friendship was fully genuine, and I have read lots of speculation about whether or not they might have had some disagreement. If I have got two ideas mixed up, my only excuse is that your blog was so good, I was reading it until 3am.

Hi, anon!

Thank you, and you're welcome!

About Nick and Harry. No, it wasn't a theory back then. They were genuine friends and a very large group of people thought they were actually together (Gryles). It seemed organic back then and Nick was unproblematic and openly gay so most of the fandom loved their friendship, up to a certain point.

It's not until much later when you look back at that time and reflect, that you see it for what it was. Mutual promo. The very public friendship started when Nick was confirmed to take over the Radio 1 Breakfast show, the most coveted dj spot, the most listened to in the UK, and with the youngest audience. BBC thought that Nick was cool and popular and would bring in tonnes of young listeners. He did because half his listeners were 1d stans listening to hear him tell stories about Harry. I listened in every single day, and so did half this fandom. He had Harry on his show multiple times too, ribbed him and hinted that Harry was gay. Nick also had 1d on, one member at a time, and they played their favourite songs and did an interview. The close connection with BBC and 1d bought Nick a lot of listeners and gave 1d loads of promo. Harry was also now a part of the London cool young celeb crew. It was an image boost for Harry. It was a really fun time.

I think Harry looked up to Nick as a gay mentor. He was openly gay and was very free spoken. Nick is just himself, is very funny, super relatable and with a big personality. He also had a big celebrity friend group and namedropped all the time. I think Nick and Harry genuinely enjoyed their friendship, even if the circumstances making it so was forced and contractual. I think there was jealousy on Louis part and the blind items suggested Nick and Harry were sleeping together, paired with half the fandom turning from being larries to gryles stans probably didn’t help. Nick could be very flirty with Harry sometimes too. Right in front of Louis. Nick and Louis' personalities clashed too, they're too much alike (go read some Tomlinshaw fan fiction and you'll see what i mean lol). There was always an underlying tension there between them.

I think there was some jealousy from Nick's partners as well, at least that's what the rumours say. Harry went on tour, got new friends and i think Nick felt a bit abandoned. He started throwing some shade at Harry. He lost a lot of listeners after the 1d stans turned on him, ditched him and Nick was sort of fired. His popularity faded fast. Nick and Harry have hung out a couple of times after 'the fall out' so i think they're more casual friends now. I don't think Nick's been to any of Harry’s solo shows though.

[riversofmars]

Chapter 19: Flashback

Escapism is a wonderful thing. Whether it‘s through stories or simply a break from the day-to-day. Having time away from the things that weigh you down is freeing, restorative and just what‘s needed every now and then. That‘s exactly what our excursion to Africa felt like to me. I had been getting so bogged down in the oppressive reality of being stranded in 2020, haunted by past demons rearing their heads and caught between my feelings for Helen and the obligation I felt to Tania. Being away changed all that and gave Helen and I the opportunity to work things out. Finally, I was seeing things clearly, freed of an emotional burden that I had been buckling under and I got the sense that Helen felt better for it too. The honeymoon phase, as you might call it, would not last for very long. We were due to make our return to London and with it, to reality.

“Wakey-wakey, rise and shine!”

We woke to River’s sing-song voice. I groaned. Sleeping sitting up in a car was far from comfortable. My neck ached and my left arm had fallen asleep and yet, I couldn’t help a small smile when I realised why. Helen stirred on my shoulder, her head nudging against mine as she sat up slowly and released the tight hold that she’d had on my arm. It was hard to tell whether her cheeks were rosy from sleep or if she’d blushed, still somewhat insecure about being in my personal space, but either way, she was a lovely sight to wake up to.

“Sleep okay?” I questioned softly and shook out my tingling limb, hoping she wouldn’t take offense at the gesture.

“Yeah, I suppose…” She answered and sounded quite drowsy still. Her blonde hair was tussled, the bun halfway undone in her sleep, and she yawned. I don’t think I can quite describe all the emotions I felt: the deep adoration the endearing image evoked in me, the surprising contentment and comfort of waking up next to her, and the longing to lean over and kiss her good morning. I settled for allowing her to come around in her own time as she blinked against the lights that were illuminating the inside of the car. Outside, it remained pitch black. Perhaps we hadn’t slept for quite as long as I thought. I looked around as well and it seemed the Doctor and River had swapped places as the Professor was in the passenger seat now, looking around with a knowing smile but silent.

“Where are we?” I asked to avoid any comment that she might have been saving until we were fully awake.

“Little air base we came across. We‘ve been driving for a while but should have a few hours of cover of night left. The Doctor is just having a look if there are any usable planes, if so, we might be able to make the hop across to the British Isles tonight,” she answered pleasantly. “Maybe you should see what she’s come up with? I imagine she’s expecting you to fly it.”

“Yeah, I guess I’d better,” I nodded and cast a quick glance around to Helen. She gave me a soft smile and nod of agreement. It wasn’t that I needed her permission of course, but I knew it meant leaving her with River. That wasn’t a problem as such, their friendship was certainly closer than between River and me, but I expected Helen might become subject to probing questions from the professor, which I wasn’t sure she would appreciate just yet. The fact that Helen didn’t seem to care was reassuring. Perhaps she wasn’t quite as insecure in her feelings as I feared. “See you in a minute,” I reached for her hand and gave her a reassuring squeeze before getting out of the car.

The night-time air was pleasantly cool as it hit my face and blew away the remnants of sleep. I felt surprisingly well-rested. My dreams had turned more mellow, recalling events that weren’t entirely unpleasant and I knew Helen’s immediate proximity had a lot to do with it. I smiled to myself, allowing for a brief moment of joy, as I looked around to see where the Doctor had gotten off to.

Airbase was a generous term for what I found. With only the light of the moon to guide me, I found my way in between two large hangers alongside a short airstrip. Touchdown and refueling, that was all I could imagine had taken place here, but I spotted one of the hangars having been opened - with a sonic screwdriver I imagined - and a figure was moving in the shadows, skirting a small plane.

“That’ll be cosy,“ I commented as I stepped into the hangar. The Doctor looked up, her face illuminated by the shine of her sonic screwdriver, and she grinned:

“And much better suited to flying under the radar as it were,“ she observed and gave the hatch a buzz. Results were instantaneous as the plane‘s security features were no match for her implement of choice: the hatch creaked open and lowered to the ground. Without hesitation, she climbed inside and I followed. It wasn‘t a bad find. The small military plane was made for five people, a pilot and four additional seats behind, two to either side. It would serve us nicely.

“Fuel?” I prompted the Doctor who dropped into the pilot seat and set about checking the state of the vessel. I leaned onto the back of the pilot seat, looking on, familiarising myself with the controls already. They weren‘t much different from the passenger plane we had used on the way here, which made things easy.

“Full tank by the looks of it,“ the Doctor answered, evidently pleased. “Luck is certainly-”

“On our side, yes, makes sense,“ I completed her sentence as it was an observation we had made far too many times by now. It did get me thinking about the potency of the quantum crystalliser and its limitations. A small part of me wondered if its presence had influenced the way in which Helen and I had been able to make sense of our feelings; if under different circumstances, we would have continued the painful back and forth that I feared would have broken me in the end.

“Doesn’t mean we can get complacent,“ the Doctor interrupted my musings. “There is a lot that can go wrong at every turn. It’s not a guarantee,“ she warned sternly and jumped to her feet.

“You don’t have to tell me,” I hummed, casting a glance at my bandaged forearms that rested on the headrest of the pilot‘s seat. I straightened up as well. “But yeah, this seems perfect, I can definitely fly it.”

“Wonderful,“ the Doctor grinned and offered up the seat to me. “I’ll get the others, you start her up.“ She skipped past me towards the hatch.

“Sure thing,” I agreed and dropped into the pilot seat, testing the yoke in my hands.  

“Liv?” The Doctor spoke and I turned in my seat to look around, curious as to why she was delaying.

“Yeah?” I responded and found her looking at me with a smile that reminded me an awful lot of the Doctor we usually travelled with. There was a softness about her expression, a sense of boundless optimism and joy.

“I’m happy for you,“ she said simply and not unlike a proud parent. While perhaps slightly bewildering, it wasn‘t unpleasant as she seemed so utterly sincere. “Truly. It’s been a long time coming.” She gave me a smile and since I am me, I couldn‘t simply accept her warm words gracefully. I gave a snotty response that made me feel less self-conscious:

“You know, if it was that obvious you could have said something, saved us the time and-” I argued but the Doctor just chuckled and interrupted:

“Would you have listened?”

“Well-” It was a fair point. I didn‘t like taking the Doctor‘s advice at the best of times - certainly not without a lot of complaining. If they had offered their advice on matters of the heart, matters where I wouldn‘t have taken kindly to them interfering, it would have resulted in nothing but a lot of sniping and sarcasm. The Doctor had a point.

“Nobody can convince you of the things you’re not ready to hear,” she elaborated knowingly. “Helen needed this time. And maybe you did too.”

“Maybe…” I conceded, and the Doctor ducked out of the hatch, leaving me to the controls and my thoughts.

---

“This is snug,“ River commented and while I didn‘t turn to see what was going on in the passenger seats behind me, I could imagine her taking full advantage of sitting so close to her wife.

“It is rather,“ Helen agreed, sounding amused.

“You won’t hear me complaining about being stuck in a tight space with three gorgeous women,” the professor carried on her teasing and the familiar wave of jealousy I felt way back when River and Helen had been keeping secrets behind my back resurfaced.

“River!” I shot her a stern glance of warning over my shoulder. I couldn‘t leave the controls, or rather, I wouldn‘t. Not after what happened last time. Even as I allowed the autopilot to steer, I scanned the dark sky with keen eyes. So far there were no Daleks in sight and we had been flying for a few hours.  

“I’m just saying, the fun we could have,“ River replied innocently and flashed me a bright, playful smile.

“As nice as it is to see you again, that’s not an image I need in my head,“ I retorted as dryly as I could manage,though I was glad for the interruption of the tense atmosphere. The Doctor had taken to fiddling with the crystalliser, Helen seemed somewhat lost in her thoughts, and River was clearly bored.

“I, on the other hand-” she hummed mischievously.

“River!” I snapped again, taking great offence at the notion that over over-active imagination might involve my girlfriend. The term was unfamiliar still. It thrilled and unnerved me in equal measures. It just didn‘t sit quite right with me, strangely. Tania had been my girlfriend... but for Helen, the term seemed so... weak. It didn‘t do justice to describe how I felt for her. I cast her a quick glance and caught her looking at me. Where before, one - or both - of us would have turned away, pretended to be doing something else, I smiled at her and she mirrored me. I was pleased that she didn‘t seem bothered by River‘s constant innuendo, she simply leaned back in her chair shaking her head at our friend, bemused.

“Looks like we’re entering British air space,“ the Doctor interjected to change the topic of conversation.

“No fun…” River huffed in response.

As we approached London, I felt the weight of reality slowly setting in and my thoughts turned to the concerns Helen had uttered. Being off on an adventure with the future Doctor had been a strange break in the day to day, we had hit pause on where we had been, and the closer we got to London, the more real things became. The honeymoon, wonderful as it had been, had been short-lived. I considered asking the Doctor to take over for a minute, just so I could be close to Helen for the little time we had left before our return. Perhaps I could steal a few more kisses in the twilight of the back of the plane…

Every now and then I thought I could feel Helen’s eyes on me and wondered if she was thinking the same thing.

“Is that London?” The Doctor asked when the lights of a big city came into view on the horizon. She had taken to pacing the small plane, pushing past River and Helen‘s knees to their constant annoyance. She came to stand behind me, peering out of the windscreen with the sky slowly greying as dawn was breaking.

“Of course it is, can you think of any other big sprawling cities that we might be heading towards in this part of the-” I quipped, as usual jumping at the chance to poke fun, but the Doctor didn‘t let me finish. She grabbed my shoulders in a bid to silence me.

“Liv, Liv!” She shushed me and drew my attention back to the city we were approaching, gesturing towards the lights. Time Lords had superior eyesight so it took me a moment to realise what she was referring to but then, I saw it too. What I had presumed were the bright lights of London, were in fact skyscrapers that stood in flames.

“Oh my God…” I breathed and the horror must have been more than obvious in my voice.

“What is it, Liv?“ Helen sounded immediately concerned and I heard belts being unbuckled as I didn‘t answer, stunned into silence. I clawed my hands into the yoke, knuckles turning white, as I fought the memories of Nixyce VII back. This was not the time or place, I had to keep a level head. I knew what it meant to see a city burn and dread took me over like a gust of cold wind that made me shudder and cease up. Moments later, River was behind me too, whispering curses under her breath as she took in the destruction we were approaching. Helen was there as well, to my right hand-side and she audibly gasped at the sight of her hometown. I released my tight hold on the steering, with one hand at least, and quickly reached for hers. I couldn’t bring myself to form words but I squeezed her hand and knew she understood.

“What happened?“ Helen broke the silence at last, her voice trembling, and I held on to her tightly.   

“Something must have prompted this,“ River observed darkly and my thougths jumped to our friends that were somewhere down there. The Doctor, Kate, Osgood, Tania, Martha, Yaz, Ryan, Graham...

“I’m taking us straight down!“ I announced, unwilling to waste time on indecision. Our friends needed our help. They might be injured or worse... I eased the yoke down. “I’ll find a place to land, a park or-” The plane was small. I knew I could practically land it anywhere and in the ruins below, it would hardly make a difference if I caused some havoc of my own. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. My brain simply refused to compute it.

“Is that wise? What if the Daleks-” River sought to protest but the Doctor was quick to agree:

“No, no, she’s right, we can’t waste any time.” Her voice was uncharacteristically calm, utterly devoid of the bubbliness and joy I had come to associate with her. It only drove home the seriousness of the situation. “People need our help. Our friends will need our help.” She confirmed what we all already feared.

“It‘ll be alright,“ I told Helen, averting my eyes from our approach for a moment, just long enough to pull her hand to my lips and press a kiss on top of it. I didn‘t know how else to give her comfort, not when I was struggling with my own demons.

“How? How could it possibly be alright?“ She whispered in response and I didn‘t have an answer.

“Buckle up, Helen,“ River took the initiative and ushered Helen back to her seat. I released her hand unwillingly but knew it was far safer.

“Hold on tight,” I told them as we approached central London and I aimed for Hyde Park.

---

The one saving grace was that there were no Daleks as yet. I didn't know why and where they had retreated at the time but I wasn't about to question it as we touched down in Hyde Park. It was a rough landing but I managed to avoid knocking into trees and there were far greater concerns than our comfort.

"Everybody okay?" I questioned when we had come to a halt and the engines fell silent. I looked around to find my friends already on their feet.

"Stay behind me," River advised sternly, readying her blaster. I could hardly argue with that. We were about to walk into a war zone with the rest of us unarmed.

"First aid kit, not much but it's something," the Doctor threw a small parcel towards me as I got out of the pilot seat. She must have found it under one of the seats. She followed River who was opening the hatch, and I met Helen in the middle of the plane, waiting right behind our friends.

"This is not how it was meant to go..." She said softly and I knew what she meant. The timeline had just taken an unexpected turn for the worse, one that had never been mentioned in the notes River had provided us with. From here on in, everything was new, the only advantage we had left was River herself and given the concerned expression on the professor's face, that was not a guarantee.

“Good God…” Helen mumbled as we climbed out of the small plane. There was a lot of smoke and the air was cold despite the fires that were flickering and dancing in sharp winter winds.

“Where is everyone?” River questioned, looking around. The park was empty of humans and Daleks alike. A few trees had been singed, a couple continued to smoulder, and I realised they weren't fresh flames. They were dying down.

 “Guess the attack happened a while back…” the Doctor observed the same thing as we ventured further away from our plane. Even as we arrived on the main road beside the park, there was not a living soul in sight. There were, however, bodies. Helen clasped her hand to her mouth and I carried out the grim task of checking for vital signs, knowing full well I wouldn't find any. Anyone who had been able to had fled and barricaded themselves away, and while I couldn't see any Daleks anywhere, I knew we would do well to do the same.

“We need to find the others, get out of the open. If the Daleks are around, they would have seen us landing and will come to investigate," the Doctor instructed.

"Let's get a move on!" River urged us along, towards the underground station at Hyde Park Corner and I realised why: there were Daleks at the far end of the street, shooting towards us. They must have indeed witnessed our landing.

---

It was a mad dash to the underground. River was down the stairs first and her arms flung out to slow our advance!

"Careful!" She yelled, nearly tripping over the rubble that obscured the steps. Destruction had rained from above: half of the entrance to the underground station had collapsed.

"Keep going, it's our best option. We just need to get into the tunnels," the Doctor was bringing up the rear, urging us to keep going as bolts of energy shot over our heads with the Daleks growing closer.

"Euston isn't far. Four or five stops," Helen confirmed and River sought a way forward, keeping a close eye on the stability of the ceiling as we pushed on. We clambered over bits of wall and metal railing that had come loose.

"If the tunnel hasn't collapsed," I observed grimly, dreading what we would find as we advanced further. We were hard-pressed for other options but the thought that we might be heading for a dead-end occurred. "What happened here?"

"Something really, really bad. We won't find out until we find the others," the Doctor put the matter off. The 'what had happened' was obvious enough, the 'why' was the more pressing question.

Luck was, as ever of late, on our side. The underpass at the bottom of the stairs was mostly unharmed, seemingly made of sturdy stuff. The Doctor guided our way with her sonic screwdriver, the only light source underground. Inside the station, schedule boards and overhead lights had crashed to the ground, a wall to the left had collapsed, but for the time being, the ceilling appeared to be holding and the escalators were unobscured. The one thing that was an awful lot to deal with was that there were more bodies: not many but enough. People that had sought to flee into the underground much like us and appeared to have been shot down in front of the ticket barriers that had hindered their flight.

"HALT. DO NOT MOVE OR YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED," the Daleks screeched, moving along the underpass behind us, blue blasts of energy shooting down the tunnel, illuminating our surroundings in garish hues. Their metal voices echoed through the chamber and startled us out of our petrified horror.  

"Keep going!" River shouted over the sound of energy weapons fire and readied her blaster once more.

"River, what are you doing?" Helen exclaimed, mortified as the professor retraced our steps.

"If I can make the underpass collapse-" She answered, aiming her weapon up.

"What makes you think it'll just be the underpass?!" I shouted, realising her intentions. "We might get buried alive!"

"Not with luck on our side!" She gave a daredevil grin and beside us, the Doctor blasted the ticket barriers with her screwdriver.

"Keep going you two!" She told us sternly as River took a first shot at a Dalek that had made it within range. She didn't seem to want to risk collapsing the roof until we had made it further into the station. The Doctor tossed me her sonic, our only source of light, then reached into her coat and retrieved the Quantum Crystalliser. “Take it with you, just in case.” She pressed it into my hand and I didn’t want to take it. It was as if she was allowing for the possibility of them not making it but I knew I couldn’t argue. 

"Come on, Helen." I pushed the Crystalliser into my pocket, then grabbed Helen’s hand. We didn't have a moment to lose on indecision. Neither River nor the Doctor could be reasoned with once they had made up their minds so it wasn't wise to try and delay. We had to trust them and I did. Keeping Helen safe became my priority, as it always had been if we're being perfectly honest. As the Doctor joined River, I pulled Helen with me.

"Liv-" She tried to protest but I didn't relent. The escalators weren't far. I clasped the sonic as firmly as Helen's hand, lighting our way as best as I could. The escalators at Hype Park Corner were incredibly steep and we hurried down as fast as we dared.

We were halfway down when the explosion rocked the underground station, the sound of collapsing stone echoed down the tunnels and I lost my balance, my footing and the sonic screwdriver.

And the world was plunged into complete darkness.

---

The lights went off expectantly as I was elbow deep in the engine array. Bright illumination to pitch black. It did what it surely had been intended to do: disorient, unsettle and hinder any progress we had made in the test so far. You would have thought I was used to it by then, after weeks of various tests measuring out aptitudes and problem solving skills, but some obstacles were impossible to prepare for. I wouldn't have expected my reaction to be as strong as it was but those things were far beyond my control.

"Shit!" I gasped as I touched my wrench to a live wire. Not enough to seriously harm me, but enough to give me a painful jolt.

"Liv?" Dal’s voice sounded across the intercom. It was a joint test, all four of us had different tasks and I realised I was falling short and letting my team down by stalling.

"Yes, I'm here, I'm nearly done," I shot back, trying to get back on track with the repairs to the power connections.

"Just keep going, you can do this blind if you need to," he encouraged calmly as a good captain ought to, but sadly I wasn't quite the model crewman. My journey - still unknown to my teammates - had left many marks and bruises, some of which I hadn't really been aware of until that moment.

"I am doing it blind!" I snapped, airing my frustration with myself. As I felt my way forward to the next step, my hands were shaking.

The darkness was all encompassing and I felt an unfamiliar sense of panic slowly creeping up my back. Cold sweat gathered on my forehead and the muscles of my chest cramped up, squeezing my lungs, unwilling to do the work they were designed for. It wasn't the task itself that was to blame. Dal was right, I could do this blind! I'm a good technician and I had the designs and schematics of the Orpheus down flat, we all did. We needed to. All sorts of circumstances could befall us on the way to the end of the universe, we all had to be capable of seeing to our ship. Emergencies like a sudden loss of power, drifting through space, unable to carry on with our journey. Perhaps the engines had exploded and-

"You can do this, Liv."

I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting the rising panic as a flash of memory forced itself upon me. Memories of working my way through computer systems and data highways, memories of an explosion and the power failing, memories of floating in suffocating darkness, awaiting death.

"Nearly there."

I tried to concentrate, mapping out steps in my mind's eye and letting my fingers do the rest. My heart was going at a frantic pace. As I recoupled the connectors, I counted along to the beats, hoping it would help slow my pulse but it didn't. I was just short of going into arrhythmia, I could sense it. Maybe this was it: full metabolic collapse. I knew it would happen eventually and could at any time. The beginnings of a panic attack might be just the thing to kick it off. I waited for the thundering in my ears to fall silent, for things to end, if they had to, paranoid about every skip of my heart, every sharp pain, every-

I continued working as if on autopilot, hoping it would distract me from my looming demise but it didn’t. While I wasn't dead yet, I might as well keep going.

The last set of link-ups connected and with it, the lights turned back on. It was almost as disorienting as the plunge into darkness had been. Applause sounded at another task completed and slowly, the panic that had been squeezing my chest dispersed and allowed me to breathe more freely again.

I stepped away from the engine array and dropped the wrench unceremoniously into a nearby tool box. My head was spinning and I considered the irony if after everything, I simply collapsed now. My heart began to slow but not because it gave out, I was able to relax.

"Are you alright, Med-tech Chenka?" One of the staffers inquired as they set up the room for the next practice run.

"Yes. Quite. Just need a moment..." I tried to sound reassuring, as I pressed my hand to my aching chest.

"Do you have a problem with tight spaces?" The staffer frowned, trying to make sense of my state of being. "Or with pressure? You have to be absolutely reliable. Do you have an issue with the dark?"

"No and surely, it doesn't matter," I interrupted, trying my best to sound calm and collected when in reality, my mind was still aboard the isotope carrier, fighting back the darkness. "We completed the task, right?"

"So you did," he couldn't argue with that. We were interrupted by the door to the practice suit sliding open and revealing Dal Broke.

"Well done, Liv," he praised with a kind smile and I barely managed one in return. My body was still shaking from the unpleasant experience. He seemed to notice as much as he turned to the staffer to carry on: "We've been at this for hours, how about a break?"

"We are due to break up for lunch, yes," the young man confirmed. "Testing will resume in an hour." The ISI were running a tight schedule and gruelling as it was at times, it was also nice to be back in a routine. So we nodded in confirmation and the captain led me out of the room.

"Are you alright, Liv?" He asked, as we made our way down the corridor, at the end of which Vi and Bron were waiting for us.

"Yeah just... wasn't prepared for the lights to go out..." I hummed, not exactly eager to share any more than that, particularly when we were about to rejoin our colleagues. I had managed to build something of a relationship of mutual respect and appreciation with Dal over the past few weeks. The same wasn't quite true for the other two.

"I can sense there is a story there," Dal observed and I shook my head, almost instantaneously.

"Nothing worth telling..." I assured him and it was obvious that he didn't believe me.

"Hm..." He gave me a quick sideways glance. "Does it have something to do with why you're here?" He pushed on. "You haven't spoken much about that."

"And I'd rather not," I countered as Vi and Bron joined us.

"I think it would help if you did. Not only to build our relationships but also to-" the captain carried on and I interrupted him, pre-empting the curious glances from the other two.

"I'm sure ISI have a psych on staff that will help me work through my trauma in due course."

"You do keep your cards close to your chest, don't you? I'll figure you out eventually," Dal gave a good-natured laugh as we made for the dining hall.

"Excuse me everyone?" It was one of the lead scientists that approached our table once we had settled for lunch.

"Not a moment's peace and quiet..." I mumbled into my salad and Dal gave me a bemused smile. The scientist however remained unfazed:

"I am pleased to announce that all test results thus far have been exemplary. Your abilities compliment each other and you have developed into a well-working unit. We will be moving forward with all of you once all the formalities are out of the way. Our focus will shift from assessment to preparation."

"Excellent," Dal beamed and Vi and Bron seemed pleased as well. As for me? It wasn't entirely surprising, after all the time they had invested in us already and given the fact that we had become an excellent team. Either way, it was a relief. I was about to join in with the raising of glasses in celebration when the scientist focused on me.

"Records indicate that you still haven't completed your physical, med-tech Chenka?" It was an accusation hidden in a question and it pushed my body back towards panic. I did my best not to let on.

"Oh uhh yeah... just haven't had the time," I tried to put him off. I had yet to find a way around the whole thing. If I had a proper physical, my condition would immediately be revealed and that would be the end of the whole experience.

"It's just a formality, a last but necessary thing to be ticked off the list. You'll be excused from the afternoon activities to take it. We want to move forward as quickly as possible so if for whatever reason your health is compromised, we would need time to find a replacement."

"Right, yes of course," I tried my best to remain calm. I had to find a solution and quickly.

"This afternoon please!" He prompted, making clear that there would be no more delays.

---

Helen's arms were around me in an instant and we braced against the handrail of the escalator. It was pitch-black, we wouldn't have seen death hurtling towards us if the tunnels collapsed in their entirety but at the time, I took solace in knowing if that was to be, I would die in Helen's arms. We waited for the tremors to subside or death to find us - whichever happened first - as we cowered together, hands digging into shoulders and arms, holding onto each other as much as we were holding our breaths.

"Are you okay?" Helen whispered at last and I nodded, doing my best not to let the darkness unnerve me.

"Yes, I think so, but the sonic... must have tumbled down the steps..." I reported mournfully though the far more important thing was that we were alive.

"We may yet find it," I could tell Helen was trying to sound optimistic but her voice came out flat, echoing through the darkness.

"Just hold on to my hand," I told her, attempting to muster optimism of my own and pushed away the thought that River and the Doctor might well have been buried in the collapse. "How did we lose the sonic when we have that blood lucky charm..." I huffed and Helen gave a chuckle:

"If in any other iteration of this, we would have fallen to our deaths, I suppose that is the least unfortunate outcome..." I could feel her reluctance as we slowly made our way down the stairs, feeling our way forward in the dark. "River and the Doctor-" She said at last, explaining her holding back.

"-will be fine, they will catch up, we have to keep going," I tried to sound as sure as I possibly could and ignore the nagging doubts.

"Liv... I really don't like the dark..." Helen squeezed my hand as if to make sure I was really there.

"Neither do I," I conceded. "Always been a bit of a weakness..."

It was a long way down still.

[sonysakura]

Perpetually furious

Anyway, this is a vent post containing Internet "friendship" drama, swearing and discussion of death. Replying is okay, ignoring is okay, reblogs are disabled, I just figured I can throw one of my old 2020 reaction images in here as well since I never did and I'm not sure I'd ever find a better post to illustrate with it (originally, it was made for something long since irrelevant).

*looks at his empty wrist* As of right now, it's been 5 days of me being furious because I saw one (1) mention of a few nicknames I never-ever want to see again. This is after I blocked the people, added their nicknames to filtered post content and tags and then also enabled "Hide filtered posts entirely" in XKit (yes, I don't want to see even someone else's posts reblogged from them and to even know my mutuals are still following them). If I can't disappear them off the face of the planet with my mind, I will at least disappear them off my dash. The thing I had to find out 5 days ago... if a filtered word is in the middle of a tag it won't get filtered out. And my habit of reading my mutuals' tags made it so I read a forbidden nickname and has been in a state of fury ever since.

I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

And before anyone tries to say the word "therapy"?.. Yes, I am doing that. It's been, mind you, 6 sessions already of me retelling these 3 seasons of a dramatic soap opera these people involved me in (fyi I have never been a participant of a fandom/Internet drama until meeting them). And my plan has been to only think about the drama during therapy so it doesn't plague my life the way it did for the past 8 months. My therapist also agreed it's better we do it at my own pace, and actually despite the previous session being the one I was supposed to reach the end of the story on, I felt I don't want to talk about them, about the worst that happened, and we didn't. Apparently, talking about my guilt over me being unable to support my best friend when her mum died and how much the reminder of my parents dying in the future hit me is easier than talking about the way my "friends" behaved.

Shitty two-faced bitches, and I wish I knew worse words to describe them. The one who backstabbed me twice, told someone I loved I don't have emotions, don't love anyone and is just a manipulator, lied to them that they know me well (we talked twice, I literally only wished them happy birthday), then talked to me like nothing happened and only admitted to lying to my face and playing with me (or "joking around" in their own words when nothing really has been a laughing matter in that situation) when they needed my help. They watched me defend them, waited it out and only came clean and apologised because they didn't want to be on the bad side of someone in higher position than them. And then claimed I harassed them and blatantly lied about how often we talk a few months later to get me out of the way.

The other one who didn't reach out despite knowing me for almost a year just because someone else mentioned they had a fight with me, and they decided they better leave it be and just ignore something happened (in hindsight, no wonder, since they believed immediately when someone else started to whisper things about me into their ear later) but then only started talking to me because I guess I'm an easy person to vent to or something. True, I also vented to them because they claimed they're my friend. I didn't realise their friendly attitude is fake, and as I was later told they "wear a mask", and apparently I was just supposed to know it instead of thinking them to be my friend. They used my skills for their needs and then became cold to me when it turned out my character (which they considered aggressive when I was saying things as they are, snarkily replied to rude remarks or just wasn't using emoji) outweighs my usefulness... and got angry at me when I asked them not to speak to me like a child. I was supposed to just take it according to them. And when I decided being under them is too much after they tried to force me to unblock a person who triggered me, they discouraged other people from contacting me, condoned another person to share my private information (some of it taken from a vent even) and lied to people we both know they were saying things to me in DMs which they never did (i.e. "I told them I'd love them back" when they said "I never wanted you to feel upset" and never invited me back or even apologised, then blocked, told me I'm manipulating the events and refused to talk to me afterwards). And all of that while they and their friend continued to misgender me in the space where they thought I wouldn't see it!

And yet another one creeped on me in DMs after they read some melancholic tags on one of my posts and encouraged me to vent to them. And when I got surprised, considering I thought they don't like me since they never interacted with me in public and even ignored me multiple times, they said how I seemed so unapproachable to them and they "waited for me to come to them", and how they actually care a lot and they kept behaving extra sympathetically (and I have no idea how I didn't realise how creepy all this sounds, I guess I held them in such high regard not to question their sudden behavior too much). Later, they told me they like to chat to people privately "friendly and civil" to "keep their enemies close". Yeah, I know, embarrassing I didn't realise this is what they were doing to me... But I only realised after they out of nowhere blocked me without saying a single word after I decided not to work with their friend anymore and said friend then used the info against me that was... strangely familiar to something I didn't talk about to them but to their quiet "keep-my-enemies-close" friend instead. Interesting, right? Not even mentioning the screenshots of their private blog I was sent later where they seemed to quip about me and how I ruined their fun. Sure, I should have just stayed to be the butt of the joke for them.

Well, now, should I also talk about the stupid idiot who I had in my Friends because I thought there's no bad blood between us only to one morning discover they unfriended me and are going around shared servers spreading info that I "blocked them"? And they thought so because... Bet you won't guess? Because they claimed the yellow exclamation mark on Discord desktop app is "the blocking indicator". Just so you know: it's "the indicator" that means Discord can't pull up/load the up-to-date info about the person such as their userpic, about or badges, usually if you aren't friends, or simply don't share servers anymore, or haven't talked in a while. This is done for security reasons. It is in no way "the blocking indicator". The only valid way to know someone blocked you is to try adding a reaction to their message – if they blocked you, the screen will "shake off" the reaction on desktop or simply disappear the reaction or tell you it's unable to add the reaction on mobile (they seem to change it back and forth). In any case, it's impossible for your friend to block you and stay a Friend because Discord automatically unfriends people if one of them blocked the other. But that pinnacle of stupidity saw the "indicator" and then unfriended me because they thought I blocked them, and also was vindictive enough to tell it to everyone. Honestly, this is not the worst thing, I actually got a good laugh out of that part... It is the fact that other people believed them without checking in with me. And started blocking and unfriending me, too. *sigh*

Alright. I'm not as bad as before, now it's somewhat calmer fury, and my eyes are wet so I hope I might cry. Maybe it will help to release this heavy feeling.

And one last thing... If you're reading that, if you reached the end of this post, and anything I said makes you feel uncomfortable about me, just unfollow me. If you've been there and saw what went down starting April 2021 and ending July 2022 and you think I was the only one in the wrong, just unfollow me. If you're only being friendly with me because this is what your culture dictates and you want to be polite and nice, just unfollow me. If you're only here to "keep me close", just please, please, unfollow me and leave me alone. If you consider me a friend, tell me so. I can't stand this guessing and pretending anymore.

[rubydracogirl]

I really been following your writing for a bit now. I got hooked on your 2020 kinktober, and I fell in love with your writing style.

(I'm a particularly big fan of the chapters with lamia!swap Sans, and drangon!Ink and Error. I love how you spend so much time on crafting the universes of thoes chapters. I got so invested in the worldbuiling that i forgot i was reading a kinktober fic until things got spicy)

Anyway, I've really been enjoying this year's kinktober. And I love your latest chapter, and how it continued on from the first.

Now I'm flooded with small scenarios where the swap bros slowly fall for MC from a distance.

Like, Dans had built up a friendship between them, then going home and gushes to his brother.

Papyrus, between the brief glimpses he gets from his window, and Sans's gushing, started to develop a crush as well.

Also I now have the image that in the previous winter, MC tried to shovel her driveway.

The brothers look out their window just in time to see MC-- having NOT lived in a town literally named after snow-- fall flat on her ass.

The brother's immediate reaction is to rest their head in their hands and sigh dreamily. 'She's perfect ❤️'

SJSJSJS FIRST OF ALL THANK YOU. World-building is not something I consider myself to be very good at, so that really means a lot. Those two chapters of the 2020 Kinktober series were some of my favorites too. (I’m considering doing another, unrelated Lamia AU story this year, but we’ll see.) 

I’m so glad you’re enjoying the Dumpster-Fire series! I’ve been having a lot of fun with them myself; I got very burnt out after 2020, so it’s been awesome to get back into the swing of things, albeit slowly XD

I was surprised that there seemed to be a desire for a part two to the first chapter, but also excited because I love Underswap as an AU, and I had so much fun writing that first scenario. I have this incredibly long list of things I want to write, but doing more stories for Underswap would be so enjoyable. I love the scenes you painted with them getting to know Reader as a neighbor. Super cute and wholesome >///<

Thanks so much for reaching out, it really made my day ^_^

[mechayogurt]

Anybody taking art commissions out here?

My best friend and I made up a holiday we call International Best Friends Day (IBFD), last Friday of August, where we take the day off to hang out and celebrate our friendship.

I’ve been making shirts every year but I want to move to making a badge/patch to sew onto matching jean jackets so they get cooler every year, only I suck at art.

I’m looking to commission images for 4 badges since it started in 2020!