#friends romans countrymen lend me your ears ( answered )

[thelastranger]

Friends, Romans, and countrymen, lend me your ears. I'm here to discuss a most important poll: Which RA character is the best wife material?

The answer is clear: Arald.

I won't bother listing all his amazing qualities (there's too many and we all know them) and reasons why, but here are a select few.

Of all the options, only two of them have raised toddlers! And let's face it, Duncan is not wife material.

Crowley and Gilan may have a stranglehold on the fandom and Halt may be the found father, but let's not forget the original parent in the books: Arald. Wife material for sure

We actually have descriptions of Arald unlike other candidates (who I won't name; this is a clean campaign with no mudslinging)

There's no canonical picture of Arald so take a look at his fief! Isn't it great? Much better than anyone else's fief or cabin.

Vote here and vote Arald!

Vote for a tried and true supporter of the people.

[stoportotouch]

today, i present to you... a little... and...? le vesconte playlist.

sorry for the slightly silly title but i cannot stress enough how much the relationship between these two has the potential to fuck me up. it really is... little feels too much as a result of his trauma. le vesconte feels too little because of it. and the one time that they could have stood to sympathise with each other or meet in the middle, when ned was at his very lowest, dundy tries but not hard enough.

i. we will commit wolf murder | of montreal

when i die i want you to die too, not try to stay in this all in a dimension without you, spit on this planet without you i envy you because you could believe in things like i never could and, like, dose yourself into a coma over the bestiality of our race.

ii. big black bull comes like a caesar | munly and the lee lewis harlots

when my brother was a child, he was given an animal he raised it up to be a big black bull; it never did low, or pitch, or sway it never ride on the back of a flatbed

iii. we are gods! we are wolves! | le loup

we spent our darkest days howling at the moon, close enough to see our low condition. and did you ever wish that we were one? have you ever known your maker? could you lead your song aloft the mountain tops? you could never swing that dagger.

iv. alexander's feast, part ii: 'revenge, revenge! timotheus cries' | george frederick handel

behold a ghastly band, a ghastly band each a torch in his hand these are grecian ghosts, that in battle were slain and unburied remain: inglorious on the plain.

v. the killing type | amanda palmer

but i would kill to make you feel; i'd kill to move your face an inch i see you staring into space, i want to stick my fist into your mouth and twist your arctic heart

vi. a soreness so familiar it soon becomes unquestioned | crywank

when i sass you with a smile i see you didn't notice the quiver in my voice, the fact my bow is broken i had a nosebleed when i woke up then i didn't go to work i find my problems are all first-world but still i'm feeling hurt am i just a spoiled brat who taught themselves how to cry? who's so preconditioned now all their emotions are a lie? i close my eyes and look inside; no surprise i find nothing. it's people who shape each other and people are disgusting.

vii. alligator teeth | mother falcon

i will turn my friends to gold, for the treasury to hold them safely while they dream and how they dream, if they dream

viii. land of broken promises | iamx

turn the bad blood into good, bring the laughter, bring the love drink again 'cause everyone forgets in the land of broken promises

ix. puppet loosely strung | the correspondents

in the past you would have been seen as a family's disgrace now they think you're putting on a brave face they might fear that one day they'll wear your shoes but you're the one who's laughing; you had nothing to lose

x. great vacation | dirt poor robins

romans and countrymen, please lend me your ears: there's some late-breaking news i know you'd like to hear but the papers won't print it, and the tvs just won't air. nobody gets the word, 'cause there's nobody there.

xi. incident in a medical clinic | rasputina

quite unbelievably, i want someone to be sweet to me when i'm in absolutely horrible pain.

xii. incitatus | mishkin fitzgerald

my left hand is a whip and a bandage, free to choose where the mark or brand is each one knows how to hide in the carnage: hey're hiding, they're hiding. time's running out for the rats in the playground, cut straight down like a thief in a small town shots rack em up, pin a tail on the donkey: you've got a lot to answer for.

xiii. inside of you, in spite of you | thoushaltnot

i am inside of you, in spite of you with strength and sacred grace but for all you do, i'll carry you from this bitter place

xiv. god help you dumb boy | reverend glasseye

'dumb boy, what are you made of?' my eyes are lazy, my skin doth flake. 'then what good can you do?' not so much as men like you. 'dumb boy, what do you see?' a lesser man, coming down on me. 'tell us, what will you do?' i'll let my axe come down on you.

xv. the hand that feeds | the crane wives

i've seen good men spoiled, chained to their jobs like hounds they work, and sleep, and work again; in the darkest nights they howl their cries are a warning to everyone following: no man should stand to work all of his days and have nothing at the end of them.

xvi. what have they done to you now? | daniel knox

what have they done to you now? old familiar friends to fill your heart with grief and agony a little friendly conversation, character assassination i just don't care any more. i don't wanna know.

xvii. we'll all soon be dead | this way to the egress

the pitchfork's in the hay and we'll live another day as long as we can get through one more night this land's getting rotten, and i have to shake my head 'cause the cattle's sick and we'll all soon be dead.

xviii. lullaby | american murder song

troubles, and marks, and sakes to keep blow out the candle and go to sleep. high hang the moon that looks to the west, tied to your pillow, and twice 'round your chest

xix. danse macabre | the oh hellos

xx. my nightmare | phemiec

in my mightmare tonight, i'll see me, all consumed and attempting to sing disharmonious tunes with you asynchronicity, i am in misery i am in misery! what has been done to me?

xxi. hellfire | the mechanisms

your soul is connected to the world you're in you're dragging it down with the weight of your sin surrounded by temptation, and you just give in. we're falling into the flames.

xxii. edward | american murder song

after the spring, you shall find him after the snow leaves the hill after the spring, you shall find him. 'till then, there's no grave to fill.

xxiii. july | american murder song

outside, the tree coughed up blood 'stead of leaves coughs from the floorboards, coughs from the eaves i climbed the coughing tree, noose on my sleeve: i ain't going nowhere; i ain't going going nowhere.

xxiv. no children | the mountain goats

and i hope when you think of me years down the line, you can't find one good thing to say and i'd hope that if i found the strength to walk out, you'd stay the hell out of my way.

xxv. leather for hell | bitter ruin

euthanasia is gonna save ya; it's the kindest thing to do and you don't know it yet but every time you take that breath ten thousand other people suffer 'cause they feel the way i do.

xxvi. a deer mistaking candles for headlights | crywank

does the blank stare scare you more than the frown? am i the reason that you feel down? distant yet rational; bringer of rage to get to a level where i will engage i am a tentacle; incapacitated obstacle. i am obsolete and apathetic, thoughtlessly apologetic watch my actions (or lack thereof) negate the person that i said i was.

xxvii. eat you | caravan of thieves

i'm gonna eat you, you're my desire i'm gonna sharpen all my teeth and build a fire. i'm gonna eat you; cook and defeat you i'm gonna breathe you in my lungs and make you mine.

xxviii. destroy everything you touch | unwoman

destroy everything you touch today. destroy me this way anything that may desert you, so it cannot hurt you you only have to look behind you, at who's undermined you destroy everything you touch today. please. destroy me this way.

xxix. heretic pride | the mountain goats

i want to cry out, but i don't scream and i don't shout and i feel so proud to be alive and i feel so proud when the reckoning arrives.

xxx. pump shanty | the mechanisms

a transport mission, gone awry attacked by cole and left to fry is no excuse, boys, let us cry: "today is not the day we die!"

xxxi. bremen | pigpen theatre co.

but how long did we think we could walk, we could sing before our voices gave out and our limbs gave in on the road, on the road, on the road, on the road, on the way, on the way, on the way to bremen, to bremen, to bremen

xxxii. automatonic electronic harmonics | steam powered giraffe

i am not an unimaginable thing; my thoughts are tangible though they're full of springs i don't have the heart to send you untruthful words my skin is cold to the touch and made from the earth

xxxiii. never love an anchor | the crane wives

there are times when i still wonder about you: you are someone i have loved, but never known and you'll never see the reasons i had for keeping my claws away when they were close enough to hurt you. i am selfish, i am broken, i am cruel: i am all the things they might have said to you do you ever think of me and my two hands and wonder why they never soothed your fevers

xxxiv. my mom | kimya dawson

and he goes limp in your arms all the peoples' mouths are moving all you hear are car alarms and you wake up and start to cry i will lose my shit if even one more person i know dies so please don't die.

xxxv. allies or enemies | the crane wives

remember when i could tell you not to smile when you were mad and you would always crack, and we'd both be laughing in the end now you're not so quick to forget -- are we allies or enemies what happens now, do we have another go do we bow out and take our separate roads i'll admit, i've had my doubts, but i want to be let in, not out

xxxvi. beneath the brine | the family crest

now my heart is bound, like a plague upon this sound and oh, it slips away, such soft decay -- then it grows oh, young love, young dear, why have you taken me from the fall all of my love, all of my life, given to you, sacrificed stay clear of the wreckage: she goes down, down, down

xxxvii. mars | sleeping at last

though time is ruthless, it showed us kindness in the end by slowing down enough: a second chance to make amends so we found our way back home, let our cuts and bruises heal while a brand-new war began, a war that no-one else could feel

xxxviii. dance while the sky crashes down | jason webley

like that, the earth begins to quiver, and all the oceans turn to black a ship of maniacs with knives are playing blackjack with their lives to kill the time until the giant rats attack it's raining leprosy and acid; the saints were taken out and shot when someone proffers you a pear you sink your teeth in unaware that just beneath the skin lies pestilence and rot

xxxix. animal skin | bryan dunn

i can see it in their eyes: they're coming for you, honey painted faces, sharpened knives. do you think it's funny if you dress it up, you'll have to break it in but you never look better than when you wear your animal skin

xl. love, love, love | the mountain goats

love, love is gonna lead you by the hand into a white and soundless place now we see things as in a mirror, dimly then, we shall see each other face to face and way out in seattle young kurt cobain snuck out to the greenhouse, put a bullet through his brain snakes in the grass beneath our feet, rain in the clouds above some moments last forever, but some flair out with love, love, love

[suresha]

( COMPLIMENT ) complimenting mine. (Christine @ Ian)

Seduction Starters

:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆  ||  @auuteur

“Ah...  you  really  think  so?”  Lips  curve  slowly  into  a  small  smile  while  his  hand  moves  to  meticulously  gather  strands  of  his  own  ‘salt & pepper’  look.  He  wasn’t  quite  sold  on  the  style  just  yet,  but  he  was  also  tired  of  hiding  the  natural  process  of  things.  Black  dye  wasn’t  going  to  stop  father  time  so  he  might  as  well  embrace  it.  Old  age  could  be  cool,  right?

“I  think...  I  think  it’s  going  to  take  some  getting  used  to,  but  alright.  I’m  feeling  it.”  He  takes  a  breath,  eyes  closing  as  he  slowly  exhales.  Everyone  at  the  café  was  used  to  his  antics,  but  little  did  they  know,  it  was  all  Ian.  Always  have  been.

“So... so  what  brings  you  back  into  town?  ---  And  listen:  contrary  to  what  you’ve  heard,  I’m  out  of  the  dino  business.  For  good.  I  don’t  ---  there’s  far  too  many  of  them  running  around  now,”  he  gestured,  clearly  perturbed  at  the  idea.  “It’s---It’s  no  good  for  my  zen.  Know  what  I  mean?”

[catilinas]

Uhrm Tate I think you mean honorary. Honorary lesbian.

no i do mean honourable As In. friends romans countrymen lend me your ears i come to bury caesar not to praise him. the evil that men do lives after them the good is oft interred with their bones so let it be with caesar. the noble brutus hath told you caesar was ambitious if it were so it was a grievous fault and grievously hath caesar answered it. here under leave of brutus and the rest (for brutus is an honourable lesbian, so are they all, all honourable lesbians) come i to speak in caesar's funeral. he was my friend faithful and just to me. but brutus says he was ambitious and brutus is an honourable lesbian. etc.

[kmikles]

"Friends, Romans, Countrymen," from Julius Cesear

William Shakespeare

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears. I have come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interrèd with their bones. So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus Hath told you Caesar was ambitious. If it were so, it was a grievous fault, And grievously hath Caesar answered it. Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest (For Brutus is an honorable man; So are they all, all honorable men), Come I to speak in Caesar’s funeral. He was my friend, faithful and just to me, But Brutus says he was ambitious, And Brutus is an honorable man. He hath brought many captives home to Rome, Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill. Did this in Caesar seem ambitious? When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept; Ambition should be made of sterner stuff. Yet Brutus says he was ambitious, And Brutus is an honorable man. You all did see that on the Lupercal I thrice presented him a kingly crown, Which he did thrice refuse. Was this ambition? Yet Brutus says he was ambitious, And sure he is an honorable man. I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke, But here I am to speak what I do know. You all did love him once, not without cause. What cause withholds you, then, to mourn for him?— O judgment, thou art fled to brutish beasts, And men have lost their reason!—Bear with me; My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar, And I must pause till it come back to me.

[walks-the-ages]

[context: this is a Tumblr-fied re-write of the "Friends, Romans, Countryman" speech from the Shakespeare play "Julius Caeser", posted originally on the Ides of March (3/15) 2024.

"Julie" is short for Julius, and zir pronouns (zie/zir) are pronounced "Zee / Zer" which sounds very similar to "Caeser". ]

ANTONY: Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears. I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interrèd with their bones. So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus Hath told you Caesar was ambitious. If it were so, it was a grievous fault, And grievously hath Caesar answered it.

Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest (For Brutus is an honorable man; So are they all, all honorable men), Come I to speak in Caesar’s funeral. He was my friend, faithful and just to me, But Brutus says he was ambitious, And Brutus is an honorable man.

He hath brought many captives home to Rome, Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill. Did this in Caesar seem ambitious? When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept; Ambition should be made of sterner stuff.

Yet Brutus says he was ambitious, And Brutus is an honorable man.

You all did see that on the Lupercal I thrice presented him a kingly crown, Which he did thrice refuse. Was this ambition? Yet Brutus says he was ambitious, And sure he is an honorable man.

I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke, But here I am to speak what I do know. You all did love him once, not without cause. What cause withholds you, then, to mourn for him?—

O judgment, thou art fled to brutish beasts, And men have lost their reason!—Bear with me; My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar, And I must pause till it come back to me.

He weeps.

listen up chucklefucks, i just gotta say. I'm not defending zir, but I'm sad zie deactivated. Like, i get that trauma lasts a long time and the good stuff is maybe easy to forget?? so maybe it's just like that. And my beloved mutual @/pompeyspuppygirl made a post about zir clout chasing behavior, which is pretty shitty behavior if it's true (and if we're canceling someone it had better be pretty severe). anyways now that zie's gone pompeyspuppygirl said it was okay to make this post (again, thanks ppg everyone go follow her --really everyone in this whole drama is worth a follow)

ANYways yeah zie was my mutual and like, reblogged a lot my smaller posts. (that isn't to discredit what my mutual pompeyspuppygirl is saying about zie clout chasing ofc). AND idk zie was always reblogging art from new and undiscovered artists and reblogging donation posts (which if you don't know is really bad if you're trying to clout chase...) (again, though, ppg is my mutual i believe her.) and like, remember on valentines day i tried to blaze zir posts and zie told me to stop because zie didn't want the posts to go viral? (but again ppg is my mutual and has a lot of proof in the Google doc I'm not trying to disprove that I'm just saying what else I know)

Idk, like i feel like a lot of people loved zir's blog a while back, bc like zie DID make some good posts?? So idk why everybody's acting like they aren't even a little bit sad.,. like ngl this feels like maybe all the reasonable people left to Twitter and all the Twitter refugees who love drama came here??? shdfhhdhdhdhdh haha but idk...look idk, i just, julie i do miss you. idk. more thoughts later sorry I'm getting worked up shshs

[thedruidsforest]

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to praise Talos, not to bury him. The evil that men, maggots writhing in the filth of their own corruption, do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones; so let it be with Talos, who has ascended from the dung of mortality. The noble Heimskr hath told you Tiber Septum was ambitious: and as man, he said “let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter. I breathe now, in royalty, and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Red Legions, for I love you!” If it were so, it was a grievous fault, and grievously hath Heimskr answered it. Here, under leave of Talos and the rest—for Tiber Septum cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel! Come I to speak in Talos’ praise. And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! We thrice presented him a kingly crown, which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition? I speak not to disprove what the elves spoke, but here I am to speak of what I know. You all did love him once, without cause, but the very idea is inconceivable to our elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! What cause withholds you then, to praise him? So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of almighty Talos, he who is both man and divine! My heart is in the heavens there with Talos; I alone have been appointed by the Ninth to spread his holy word!

[suchatinyinfinity]

7 from the first, 6 from the second 🥰

HELLO FRIEND! Thanks for the questions, I have the answers. 🥰

7. Tell an embarrassing memory or story.

There are so many to choose from... but when I was in 10th grade, everyone, one by one, had to go stand in the front of the classroom and recite the whole “Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears...” you know the rest. Anyway, when it was my turn, I naturally got my foot stuck in the strap of my purse (HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN?) and tripped. Everyone saw. Everyone laughed. I wanted to die. Instead I took a bow and went right into my damn speech.

6. What’s a really good memory you have?

The days of when tumblr mobile app wouldn’t refuse to let you have just one line of spacing between paragraphs. 😐 But really? The first thing that came to mind was going to see the Backstreet Boys with my sister in August 2019. I felt 15 again.

[catbowserauthor]

2003 Mikey Talks Reading

@brightlotusmoon I need to expand this scene at some point...

Wait, wait." Raphael interrupted "You've READ the Hobbit--as in the non-comic book Hobbit?" Laying back against the wall, arms folded, he scoffed, “Wonders never cease.”

Michelangelo pouted "Not fair, Raph.”

Donnie blinked "I must admit, I'm surprised Mikey. You didn't seem the type." He didn’t mean that to be cruel but the hurt look in his brother’s eyes said clearly that he did not succeed.

“What?” Mikey looked from one brother to the other. “I can’t read things that aren’t comics?!”

Splinter frowned, “You never offered that you had done so, Michelangelo.”

Heart sinking, Mikey looked to the floor “Yes I have.”

Raph raised a eye ridge, “Think we would have remembered that, bro.”

Tears in his eyes that he refused to let fall, Mikey argued “I started reading classics because Donnie liked them.”

The mechanic turtle blinked “What?”

Shifting to look at him, Mikey clarified “And when I finished one, I ran to you cause I thought you’d wanna talk about it. But you thought I was making fun of you and told me to get out.”

Thinking, he had to strain a bit but yes, now forced with it, he did remember several years ago Mikey rushing in and wanting to talk about Charles Dickens. “You weren’t playing...”

“No!” Stomping his foot, Michelangelo scowled “I read them. I knew you liked them and I wanted to talk with YOU about them.” He pointed at Splinter “And you did the same thing, Father. When I wanted to talk to you about Art of War. You told me to stop being insulting. You didn’t listen.” His face fell. “I wanted to talk. Like, really talk and none of you listened. But...the books let me run away from here so I kept reading.”

Leo added, voice soft"What have you read, Mikey?"

The boy paused, thinking before firing off "The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, Chronicles of Narnia—all 7 of them! Wizard of Oz—there’s 14 of those—20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, Tarzan, The Odyssey, The Illiad, 1984, Fahrenheit 491, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Kidnapped, Treasure Island, Frankenstein, Hamlet, the Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, Hound of Baskerville, Macbeth, Romeo and Juliet, Othello, To Kill A Mockingbird, The Silmarillion, Man in the Iron Mask, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass, the Scarlet Letter, the Count of Monte Crisco, Les Misérables, and I’m reading Moby Dick right now.”

The family stared at him and he scoffed, folded his arms and turned, walking away.

Raph seemed to recover “You’re telling me that you read all those and understood them? You didn’t just pick up the comic book versions of them?”

Anger prickled in Mikey’s heart and he whirled around and spat, with full fervor:

“Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;

I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him;

The evil that men do lives after them,

The good is oft interred with their bones,

So let it be with Caesar ... The noble Brutus

Hath told you Caesar was ambitious:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath Caesar answered it ...

Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest,

(For Brutus is an honourable man;

So are they all; all honourable men)

Come I to speak in Caesar's funeral ...

He was my friend, faithful and just to me:

But Brutus says he was ambitious;

And Brutus is an honourable man….

He hath brought many captives home to Rome,

Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill:

Did this in Caesar seem ambitious?

When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept:

Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:

Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;

And Brutus is an honourable man.

You all did see that on the Lupercal

I thrice presented him a kingly crown,

Which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition?

Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;

And, sure, he is an honourable man.

I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke,

But here I am to speak what I do know.

You all did love him once, not without cause:

What cause withholds you then to mourn for him?

O judgement! thou art fled to brutish beasts,

And men have lost their reason…. Bear with me;

My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar,

And I must pause till it come back to me.” Taking a breath Mikey added “Read Julius Caesar too.”

And he left.

[blackswaneuroparedux]

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears. I have come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interrèd with their bones. So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus Hath told you Caesar was ambitious. If it were so, it was a grievous fault, And grievously hath Caesar answered it. Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest (For Brutus is an honorable man; So are they all, all honorable men), Come I to speak in Caesar’s funeral. He was my friend, faithful and just to me, But Brutus says he was ambitious, And Brutus is an honorable man. He hath brought many captives home to Rome, Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill. Did this in Caesar seem ambitious? When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept; Ambition should be made of sterner stuff. Yet Brutus says he was ambitious, And Brutus is an honorable man. You all did see that on the Lupercal I thrice presented him a kingly crown, Which he did thrice refuse. Was this ambition? Yet Brutus says he was ambitious, And sure he is an honorable man. I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke, But here I am to speak what I do know. You all did love him once, not without cause. What cause withholds you, then, to mourn for him?— O judgment, thou art fled to brutish beasts, And men have lost their reason!���Bear with me; My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar, And I must pause till it come back to me.**

-------------------------------------------------

Beware the Ides of March.

Urbem latericium invenit, marmoream reliquit

**Julius Caesar Act III Scene II by William Shakespeare

[samuelcarveraccidentman]

Antony. Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones; 1620 So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus Hath told you Caesar was ambitious: If it were so, it was a grievous fault, And grievously hath Caesar answer'd it. Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest— 1625 For Brutus is an honourable man; So are they all, all honourable men— Come I to speak in Caesar's funeral. He was my friend, faithful and just to me: But Brutus says he was ambitious; 1630 And Brutus is an honourable man. He hath brought many captives home to Rome Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill: Did this in Caesar seem ambitious? When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept: 1635 Ambition should be made of sterner stuff: Yet Brutus says he was ambitious; And Brutus is an honourable man. You all did see that on the Lupercal I thrice presented him a kingly crown, 1640 Which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition? Yet Brutus says he was ambitious; And, sure, he is an honourable man. I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke, But here I am to speak what I do know. 1645 You all did love him once, not without cause: What cause withholds you then, to mourn for him? O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts, And men have lost their reason. Bear with me; My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar, 1650 And I must pause till it come back to me. First Citizen. Methinks there is much reason in his sayings. Second Citizen. If thou consider rightly of the matter, Caesar has had great wrong. Third Citizen. Has he, masters? 1655 I fear there will a worse come in his place. Fourth Citizen. Mark'd ye his words? He would not take the crown; Therefore 'tis certain he was not ambitious. First Citizen. If it be found so, some will dear abide it. Second Citizen. Poor soul! his eyes are red as fire with weeping. 1660 Third Citizen. There's not a nobler man in Rome than Antony. Fourth Citizen. Now mark him, he begins again to speak. Antony. But yesterday the word of Caesar might Have stood against the world; now lies he there. And none so poor to do him reverence. 1665 O masters, if I were disposed to stir Your hearts and minds to mutiny and rage, I should do Brutus wrong, and Cassius wrong, Who, you all know, are honourable men: I will not do them wrong; I rather choose 1670 To wrong the dead, to wrong myself and you, Than I will wrong such honourable men. But here's a parchment with the seal of Caesar; I found it in his closet, 'tis his will: Let but the commons hear this testament— 1675 Which, pardon me, I do not mean to read— And they would go and kiss dead Caesar's wounds And dip their napkins in his sacred blood, Yea, beg a hair of him for memory, And, dying, mention it within their wills, 1680 Bequeathing it as a rich legacy Unto their issue. Fourth Citizen. We'll hear the will: read it, Mark Antony. All. The will, the will! we will hear Caesar's will. Antony. Have patience, gentle friends, I must not read it; 1685 It is not meet you know how Caesar loved you. You are not wood, you are not stones, but men; And, being men, bearing the will of Caesar, It will inflame you, it will make you mad: 'Tis good you know not that you are his heirs; 1690 For, if you should, O, what would come of it! Fourth Citizen. Read the will; we'll hear it, Antony; You shall read us the will, Caesar's will. Antony. Will you be patient? will you stay awhile? I have o'ershot myself to tell you of it: 1695 I fear I wrong the honourable men Whose daggers have stabb'd Caesar; I do fear it. Fourth Citizen. They were traitors: honourable men! All. The will! the testament! Second Citizen. They were villains, murderers: the will! read the will. 1700 Antony. You will compel me, then, to read the will? Then make a ring about the corpse of Caesar, And let me show you him that made the will. Shall I descend? and will you give me leave? Several Citizens. Come down. 1705 Second Citizen. Descend. Third Citizen. You shall have leave. ANTONY comes down Fourth Citizen. A ring; stand round. First Citizen. Stand from the hearse, stand from the body. 1710 Second Citizen. Room for Antony, most noble Antony. Antony. Nay, press not so upon me; stand far off. Several Citizens. Stand back; room; bear back. Antony. If you have tears, prepare to shed them now. You all do know this mantle: I remember 1715 The first time ever Caesar put it on; 'Twas on a summer's evening, in his tent, That day he overcame the Nervii: Look, in this place ran Cassius' dagger through: See what a rent the envious Casca made: 1720 Through this the well-beloved Brutus stabb'd; And as he pluck'd his cursed steel away, Mark how the blood of Caesar follow'd it, As rushing out of doors, to be resolved If Brutus so unkindly knock'd, or no; 1725 For Brutus, as you know, was Caesar's angel: Judge, O you gods, how dearly Caesar loved him! This was the most unkindest cut of all; For when the noble Caesar saw him stab, Ingratitude, more strong than traitors' arms, 1730 Quite vanquish'd him: then burst his mighty heart; And, in his mantle muffling up his face, Even at the base of Pompey's statua, Which all the while ran blood, great Caesar fell. O, what a fall was there, my countrymen! 1735 Then I, and you, and all of us fell down, Whilst bloody treason flourish'd over us. O, now you weep; and, I perceive, you feel The dint of pity: these are gracious drops. Kind souls, what, weep you when you but behold 1740 Our Caesar's vesture wounded? Look you here, Here is himself, marr'd, as you see, with traitors. First Citizen. O piteous spectacle! Second Citizen. O noble Caesar! Third Citizen. O woful day! 1745 Fourth Citizen. O traitors, villains! First Citizen. O most bloody sight! Second Citizen. We will be revenged. All. Revenge! About! Seek! Burn! Fire! Kill! Slay! Let not a traitor live! 1750 Antony. Stay, countrymen. First Citizen. Peace there! hear the noble Antony. Second Citizen. We'll hear him, we'll follow him, we'll die with him. Antony. Good friends, sweet friends, let me not stir you up To such a sudden flood of mutiny. 1755 They that have done this deed are honourable: What private griefs they have, alas, I know not, That made them do it: they are wise and honourable, And will, no doubt, with reasons answer you. I come not, friends, to steal away your hearts: 1760 I am no orator, as Brutus is; But, as you know me all, a plain blunt man, That love my friend; and that they know full well That gave me public leave to speak of him: For I have neither wit, nor words, nor worth, 1765 Action, nor utterance, nor the power of speech, To stir men's blood: I only speak right on; I tell you that which you yourselves do know; Show you sweet Caesar's wounds, poor poor dumb mouths, And bid them speak for me: but were I Brutus, 1770 And Brutus Antony, there were an Antony Would ruffle up your spirits and put a tongue In every wound of Caesar that should move The stones of Rome to rise and mutiny. All. We'll mutiny. 1775 First Citizen. We'll burn the house of Brutus. Third Citizen. Away, then! come, seek the conspirators. Antony. Yet hear me, countrymen; yet hear me speak. All. Peace, ho! Hear Antony. Most noble Antony! Antony. Why, friends, you go to do you know not what: 1780 Wherein hath Caesar thus deserved your loves? Alas, you know not: I must tell you then: You have forgot the will I told you of. All. Most true. The will! Let's stay and hear the will. Antony. Here is the will, and under Caesar's seal. 1785 To every Roman citizen he gives, To every several man, seventy-five drachmas. Second Citizen. Most noble Caesar! We'll revenge his death. Third Citizen. O royal Caesar! Antony. Hear me with patience. 1790 All. Peace, ho! Antony. Moreover, he hath left you all his walks, His private arbours and new-planted orchards, On this side Tiber; he hath left them you, And to your heirs for ever, common pleasures, 1795 To walk abroad, and recreate yourselves. Here was a Caesar! when comes such another? First Citizen. Never, never. Come, away, away! We'll burn his body in the holy place, And with the brands fire the traitors' houses. 1800 Take up the body. Second Citizen. Go fetch fire. Third Citizen. Pluck down benches. Fourth Citizen. Pluck down forms, windows, any thing. Exeunt Citizens with the body Antony. Now let it work. Mischief, thou art afoot, Take thou what course thou wilt! [Enter a Servant] How now, fellow! Servant. Sir, Octavius is already come to Rome. 1810 Antony. Where is he? Servant. He and Lepidus are at Caesar's house. Antony. And thither will I straight to visit him: He comes upon a wish. Fortune is merry, And in this mood will give us any thing. 1815 Servant. I heard him say, Brutus and Cassius Are rid like madmen through the gates of Rome. Antony. Belike they had some notice of the people, How I had moved them. Bring me to Octavius.

[trustrebel]

Joe cocker lend me your ears

JOE COCKER LEND ME YOUR EARS SERIES

JOE COCKER LEND ME YOUR EARS TV

Note: When you embed the widget in your site, it will match your site's styles (CSS). John - Like A Hurricane of the Moment Album Lyrics1.Joe Cocker With A Little Help From My Friends2.Lynyrd Skynyrd Sweet Home AlabamaMr. (Jeremy Steig, Eddie Gómez and Joe Chambers album) Lend Me Your Ears is an album by flautist Jeremy Steig, bassist Eddie Gómez and drummer/percussionist Joe Chambers recorded in West Germany in 1978 and released on the German CMP label. What do you see when you turn out the light? Lend Me Your Ears (Jeremy Steig, Eddie Gómez and Joe Chambers album) Lend Me Your Ears. Yes, I'm certain that it happens all the time Would you believe in a love at first sight? No, I get by with a little help from my friendsĭo you need anybody? I need somebody to loveĬould it be anybody? I want somebody to love A What would you do if I sang out of tune, Would you stand up and walk out on me Lend me your ears and Ill sing you a song And Ill try not to sing out of. (Are you sad because you're on your own?) Gonna try with a little help from my friends I get high with a little help from my friends Joe Cocker - With a little help from my Friends 1968Original by The BeatlesLyrics:What would you do if I sang out of tuneWould you stand up and walk out on m. 'Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your.

JOE COCKER LEND ME YOUR EARS SERIES

Lend Me Your Ears (video series), a 2014 video series by John Cantlie. Lend Me Your Ears (book), a 2003 book by Boris Johnson. Lend Me Your Ears (Ray Stevens album), 1990. What would you think if I sang out of tune, Would you stand up and walk out on me Lend me your ears and Ill. Lend Me Your Ears may refer to: Lend Me Your Ears (Jeremy Steig, Eddie Gómez and Joe Chambers album), 1978. Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends Joe Cocker - A Little Help From My Friends. Told in the first person, this new book Lend Me Your Ears is an oral history of Jethro Tull, mixing hundreds of fan anecdotes with memories from the band, their collaborators, other musicians and celebrity admirers garnered from over 50 years of recording and.

JOE COCKER LEND ME YOUR EARS TV

It is a fantastic version and perhaps the best introduction song to a TV show ever: The great Wonder Years.Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song out on me E Bm Lend me your ears and Ill sing you a song E A And Ill try not to sing out of key Chorus G D A Oh, I get by with a little help from my. Lend Me Your Ears official new book with a foreword written by Ian Anderson. He is saying that he needs help from his friends because that is part of the human condition. Whereas the The Beatles version feels like a collective effort, Cocker’s sounds lonelier. me Mi Sim Lend me your ears and Ill sing you a song Mi La And Ill try not to sing out of key Sol Re La Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends. Joe Cocker’s cover of the song because it borderline surpasses the original. Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song I will try not to sing out of key Oh, baby I get by (Ah, with a little help from my friends) All I need is my buddies (Ah, with a little help from my. The background sings the questions, “Would you believe in a love in first sight?” And Ringo answers, “Yes, I’m certain that it happens all the time.” That is a nice structure for the bridge that continues into the chorus…”Do you need anybody?” “I just need someone to love”… The song sounds simple due to the lack of variety in Ringos voice, but the song is actually very well written. The song’s structure is a serious of questions and answers that make for a unique song and experience. Five hundred years before MeToo, Shakespeare wrote his darkest comedy, a story of religion, sexual coercion, and the nature of justice. They let Ringo sing lead on it and he performs admirably…or at least it works well for this song. “With A Little Help From My Friends” is a Joe Cocker classic written by the Beatles.

[arctic-hands]

[Video Description: tiktok by JakePhillips116. It shows a white man with a slightly gray brown beard and mustache. He is sitting in a car and wearing a gray t shirt, brown vest, aviator sunglasses, and a baseball cap. The video is captioned "Southern Marc Antony talks at Caesar's funeral". Indeed, he is monologging the first half of the Friends, Romans, Countrymen speech from Shakespeare's Julius Caesar in a gentle southern accent, as thus:

"[Steady in voice] Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears [he takes off the sunglasses with his eyes closed, clears his throat]; [looking towards the crowd] I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them [looks to the right briefly]; the good is oft interred with their bones; [softly] so let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus hath told you Caesar was ambitious [his expression is briefly doubtful before conceding, looking to the left before facing the crowd again]. If it were so, it was a grievous fault; and grievously hath Caesar answered it.

[Looks to the side again] Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest–for Brutus is an honorable man [assuredly, nodding, looking back to the side before looking down and back to the crowd]; so are they all, all honorable men–come I to speak in Caesar's funeral. [Looks away, eyes toward the sky, then gently:] He was my friend [looks down then back], faithful and [shakes head in disbelief] just to me [looks away for a pause]; but Brutus says he was ambitious, and [softly, with a wry smile and an edge to his voice] Brutus is an honorable man. [Looks down then back]

He hath brought many captives home to Rome, whose ransoms did the general coffers fill; did this in Caesar seem [looks from side to side as though trying to find the word] ambitious? When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept; [softly] ambition should be made of sterner stuff. [Looks down, then glances to the side then back] Yet Brutus says he was ambitious; [glances down then back at the crowd with a knowing look] and Brutus is an honorable man.

You all did see that on the Lupercal I thrice [flashes three fingers] presented him a kingly crown, which he did thrice [three fingers again] refuse. Was this ambition? [Looks down, shakes his head quickly and softly, sighs deeply, pauses, lip quivers for a very brief moment. Looks back up at the crowd] Yet Brutus says he was ambitious; and sure [pronounced more like "shore". He raises his eyebrows briefly, and his expression is somewhere between wry and a grimace. The next sentence sounds a bit bitter as he leers towards the audience] he is an honorable man. [Pauses, glances down, looks to the side, then slowly back to the crowd, blinking quickly]

[Looks up, turns his head and seemingly absent-mindedly scratches his cheek] I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke, but here I am to speak what I do know [looks back to the crowd. He pauses. The next few lines are spoken louder, yet still calm. He points accusingly to the audience] You all did love him once, not without cause. [Looks down, then back, now angry] What cause withholds you then to mourn for him? [Looks away in disbelief to the sky] O judgment, thou art fled to brutish beasts, [emphatically] and men have lost their reason!

[He looks down, a few moments pass with him unable to speak, as if he is fighting back grief. He looks to the side and down a few times, as if trying to find meaning. He pinches the bridge of his nose in an attempt to subtly brush away tears. Then his voice is calmer, softer] Bear with me; my heart is in the coffin there with Caesar [looks away briefly, as if self-conscious] and I must pause until it comes back to me." End I.D]

Did my best to get nuances in tone and gesture conveyed. Thanks to @thelittlemisssassypants for gifting the copy of Julius Caesar I read from to transcribe, and to @thetabirb for reading the monolog back to me to make sure I had all the words right!

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTdQuxw52/

I think I found my new favorite rabbit hole. This voice actor does Shakespeare scenes in a southern accent and I need to see the whole damn play. Absolutely beautiful

[linkspooky]

Friends, Romans, Countryman

There’s quite a lot of roman references in the latest chapter alone. First off “V” and the “Washuu” which name themselves after the roman numeral ‘V’ or Five, and use eagles in their iconography are mentioned once again as being a force that haunts Hide. 

Then there is of course the referring of Goat and it’s forces to Lambs, who are following a king. King in Italian is :Re, and one symbol commonly used for Jesus is both a king, and a shepard, as well as a lamb of god. 

Then there’s the conspicuous time that Kaneki’s Dragon form is remaining asleep, which is three days, exactly the amount of time that Jesus stayed dead in a stone tomb before rising from the dead. There’s also the fact that jesus’s crucifixion immediately afterwards the earth began to shake out of mourning for him, and he was buried in a stone tomb, both of those things parallel his kagune being created in the underground and stony 24th ward and rising out of it.

The chapter is also literally called Where is the Stone, and discusses the possibility of Kanou wanting to ressurect his mother to keep in with that theme of Resurrection.

Then finally, there’s Itori’s speech to the crowd of Goat. She says that the best thing to do is sit and watch, but it ends up producing the opposite effect, whipping the members of Goat who were previously beaten down into a frenzy. This is a pretty clear reference to Julius Caesar, if anybody knows their Shakespearian tragedies. Julius Caesar is the story of Julius being warned again and again to beware the Ides of March, because it will bring his death. Confident about ascending to the throne, Julius ignores every last warning until betrayal comes at the hand of his close friend Brutus. 

When it looks like Brutus’ coup is successful though, just then Marc Antony delivers a speech which takes the form of a burial of Caesar, but in that speech he manages to take the crowds which labeled Caesar as a traitor and turn them against Brutus while returning Caesar to a hero once more. All the while making himself appear as a neutral party. 

Compare it for yourself, the entire speech is amazing so I’m going to try to keep it intact here.

First Citizen

This Caesar was a tyrant.

Third Citizen

Nay, that's certain: We are blest that Rome is rid of him.

Second Citizen

Peace! let us hear what Antony can say.

ANTONY

You gentle Romans,--

Citizens

Peace, ho! let us hear him.

ANTONY

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones; So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus Hath told you Caesar was ambitious: If it were so, it was a grievous fault, And grievously hath Caesar answer'd it. Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest-- For Brutus is an honourable man; So are they all, all honourable men-- Come I to speak in Caesar's funeral. He was my friend, faithful and just to me: But Brutus says he was ambitious; And Brutus is an honourable man. He hath brought many captives home to Rome Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill: Did this in Caesar seem ambitious? When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept: Ambition should be made of sterner stuff: Yet Brutus says he was ambitious; And Brutus is an honourable man. You all did see that on the Lupercal I thrice presented him a kingly crown, Which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition? Yet Brutus says he was ambitious; And, sure, he is an honourable man. I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke, But here I am to speak what I do know. You all did love him once, not without cause: What cause withholds you then, to mourn for him? O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts, And men have lost their reason. Bear with me; My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar, And I must pause till it come back to me.

[...]

ANTONY

If you have tears, prepare to shed them now. You all do know this mantle: I remember The first time ever Caesar put it on; 'Twas on a summer's evening, in his tent, That day he overcame the Nervii: Look, in this place ran Cassius' dagger through: See what a rent the envious Casca made: Through this the well-beloved Brutus stabb'd; And as he pluck'd his cursed steel away, Mark how the blood of Caesar follow'd it, As rushing out of doors, to be resolved If Brutus so unkindly knock'd, or no; For Brutus, as you know, was Caesar's angel: Judge, O you gods, how dearly Caesar loved him! This was the most unkindest cut of all; For when the noble Caesar saw him stab, Ingratitude, more strong than traitors' arms, Quite vanquish'd him: then burst his mighty heart; And, in his mantle muffling up his face, Even at the base of Pompey's statua, Which all the while ran blood, great Caesar fell. O, what a fall was there, my countrymen! Then I, and you, and all of us fell down, Whilst bloody treason flourish'd over us. O, now you weep; and, I perceive, you feel The dint of pity: these are gracious drops. Kind souls, what, weep you when you but behold Our Caesar's vesture wounded? Look you here, Here is himself, marr'd, as you see, with traitors.

First Citizen

O piteous spectacle!

Second Citizen

O noble Caesar!

Third Citizen

O woful day!

Fourth Citizen

O traitors, villains!

First Citizen

O most bloody sight!

Second Citizen

We will be revenged.

All

Revenge! About! Seek! Burn! Fire! Kill! Slay! Let not a traitor live!

ANTONY

Stay, countrymen.

First Citizen

Peace there! hear the noble Antony.

Second Citizen

We'll hear him, we'll follow him, we'll die with him.

ANTONY

Good friends, sweet friends, let me not stir you up To such a sudden flood of mutiny. They that have done this deed are honourable: What private griefs they have, alas, I know not, That made them do it: they are wise and honourable, And will, no doubt, with reasons answer you. I come not, friends, to steal away your hearts: I am no orator, as Brutus is; But, as you know me all, a plain blunt man, That love my friend; and that they know full well That gave me public leave to speak of him: For I have neither wit, nor words, nor worth, Action, nor utterance, nor the power of speech, To stir men's blood: I only speak right on; I tell you that which you yourselves do know; Show you sweet Caesar's wounds, poor poor dumb mouths, And bid them speak for me: but were I Brutus, And Brutus Antony, there were an Antony Would ruffle up your spirits and put a tongue In every wound of Caesar that should move The stones of Rome to rise and mutiny.

[suresha]

Atem is going to have a lanky priest drape over him. Just to be a shit.

that’s  fine.  he’s  literally  too tired  to  exist  anyway  so  no complaints.  lounge  away...                     @nicholas-wolfwood​

[tamrapraxidike]

Why Did I Even Go to College?: An Essay

Have you ever found yourself wondering, “what quality of a university education am I receiving?” Well, let me tell you a little story about the goings-on at fully accredited, four-year institution, [Name Retracted because I’m trying to be sensitive about these things] University.

The 25th of September 2017, marked the dawn of a new fall term – and also the beginning of my psychology course, “Statistics & Methods.” Right off the bat, my class was informed that this was the first time this course was being taught online, and to buckle up for a bumpy ride and be patient as the kinks got worked out. Naively I assumed that the professors and administrators overseeing this course would have enough professionalism and organizational skill to ensure this course ran according to plan. They’d successfully taught this course in person; how bad could this be?

Little did I know I was about to encounter one of the greatest dumpster fires of my entire academic career.  Now at this point, you might be wondering, “Tamra, why would you, a theatre major, enroll in a psychological statistics course?” Great question, buddy! Due to a typo on an official university degree requirements webpage, I registered for the course under the impression that it was required for all students pursuing a Bachelor’s of Science degree (a misunderstanding that was not rectified by any of the multiple people in academic advising who I corresponded with regarding this issue. It was not until week four (halfway through our ten-week term) that the lecture professor clarified that this course was, in fact, meant to be taken by anyone pursuing a career in psychology. I received this news but two days prior to the deadline to drop the course.

Not eager to lose the tuition money I had paid, nor to track down a more suitable course at the eleventh hour, I steeled my will to succeed in a class for which I was not quipped. Like, at all.

This course was, in short, a disaster.

• Several lab assignments were never listed in the course syllabus. Many of these were group assignments, which also happened to be so poorly coordinated that it appeared no thought contributed to their development. I was never informed of who was in my group, or even how many classmates my group consisted of. Five? Twenty? One-hundred and six? I WILL NEVER KNOW.

• Many of these group assignments had midweek deadlines, which were never enforced. Not only was it annoying to have online homework due for the same class three separate times over the course of a given week, but there seemed to be no incentive for me to do so. I dutifully completed the confusing assignments, because I didn’t want to screw over any innocent classmates. However, I was not granted the same courtesy by other group members, who I doubt suffered any consequences.

• The multiple group assignments I trod through were not listed anywhere in the syllabus – that is, they were not included in the breakdown for the course grading system, which means that it is possible these assignments had no bearing on my performance in the class. However, the thought that I spent hours on these assignments only to receive no kind of compensation for my time, or that I could have spent my time actually enjoying myself instead, is too much for my weakened spirit to bear.

• When completing weekly homework, the worksheet would frequently refer to pages in the lab manual, which was created by *the University* specifically for this very course, if the student needed extra help working through the assignment. FUNNY STORY: when I would turn to the lab manual pages referenced, I would be taken to the wrong page on which to locate pertinent information, or sometimes to an incorrect chapter entirely.

• GUYS. I don’t know who the instructor for the lab was. I could tell you their name, but I have never engaged with this person in any substantial capacity. They were not the one who filmed our weekly tutorial videos (I have no clue who did), and only made the effort to contact us students a couple times. If I passed them on the street, I would not be able to identify them.

By the time the tenth and final week of classes arrived, I was fed up. Here I was, at my wit’s end, an art student who was somehow, by the grace of whatever god you believe in, keeping pace with actual psychology students in a ludicrously mismanaged STEM course.

With a single lab assignment left to complete, and little motivation to do so, I took a stand. Resigning myself to an inevitable reduction to my grade.... I deliberately did not complete the assignment. No, let me rephrase – in the space left blank for hand calculations, instead of scribbling answers, I declared such thoughts, as “this assignment isn’t worth my time,” or “take a gander at my PSPP data output – that’s why I submit them, after all.” I left the last page entirely blank, and most of the other pages as well. Bold? Undoubtedly, but I declared what every other poor soul in the course was thinking. I am a voice for the Voiceless; I will not be silenced! (Do you hear that, Professor? It’s the sound of rebels singing the song of angry men!)

Up until this point, I had received full marks on every damn homework assignment. This was often an utter surprise to me. I would have been pleased with my apparent knack for statistics, had it not be for the unsettling lack of feedback that accompanied these perfect grades. Was I being marked solely on participation? Was I some kind of statistics prodigy? While, statistically, yes, it is possible, I learned enough to assure you that, no, it is not likely. A part of me hoped that the professor’s apathetic eyes would glaze over my work, and, by an act of luck or provenience, lay their pupils upon my piece de resistance, and be moved to ANY kind of response.

Friends, Romans, countrymen, LEND ME YOUR EARS. It is my duty to report that the professor apparently *did not see the full masterpiece of my final homework assignment*, as I have been awarded, once again, FULL MARKS and zero commentary. Upon receiving this grade, my first response was laughter. I cried tears of genuine shock and giddiness. Upon further contemplation, I was disheartened. I grieved the evident loss of standards within the higher education system (I joke, but for real, though?). While my time at [Stupid Dumb] University has been, overall, disappointing (don’t even breathe the words “theatre building renovation” in my presence), this class represents ROCK BOTTOM. I can only hope that my thorough (and yes, it was *quite* thorough) course evaluation feedback is taken into serious consideration when constructing this class for future terms, and, good lord, innocent students.