#friends like 'bitch you know portugese???' and he's like 'no bitch this is just the best brazilian place in pride ring and they don't speak

[furby-organist]

// Obsessed with the idea of Alastor speaking multiple languages near-perfectly but only in the context of ordering food

[scalproie]

omg plz do 13, 16, and 25 for the violence ask meme on tekken FWKJFK sorry for so much im just interested to hear ur thoughts!!!

13. worst blorboficiation

Objectively, Lee is the "least evil" mishima and congrats to him for leaving (tho forcefully) that fucked up family and yeah his childhood sucked big time and I have to respect the hustle of him rebranding himself into the funny "excellent" flamboyant guy but GOD he somehow successfully tricked everybody into forgetting that he is also very not a good person. I KNOW we are starving for positive relationships in tekken but he is very much as egoistical and self-interested as the rest of his family, kazuya is his brother only by name only and lee not only doesnt care about him nor their father and he would happily throw him or both of them under the bus to get ahead LIKE HE IS DOING NOW BY WORKING WITH LARS AND JIN AGAINST KAZUYA. Lee could not have inherited raw power from heihachi so he got his manipulativeness, sketchyness and charisma, and lets not talk about how the devil gene is alienating both kaz and jin so there is no way lee could even keep up with that. But if he could I really doubt he would still be regarded as the meme man that he is now. I love lee but I feel like the only person that can see smth sinister lurking under the surface thats funny and approachable and even has friends. Thats not a negative btw I love that about lee but the overly kindness I see from people's interpretation of him sometimes take me out. Hes better, but hes still not good, yknow?

(as for mk im just slipping it there bc its fresh in my head, johnny cage holds the really heavy burden of being the only somewhat comical main character in a sea of dramatic people so he is doomed to be mischaracterized I think. Either hes treated TOO seriously and it feels... wrong in a way I cant explain OR he is subject to comical whorification. But thats just me hating fun I guess.)

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

Heihachi has the worst fucking development in tekken 7 it genuinely makes me insane that some people would enjoy this botched attempt of sympathy toward him, all while making fun of his original reasonning like "haha lions dont push their cubs off cliffs" WE KNOW its a traditional asian misconception that even has a name and it makes sense bc heihachi is old school but also ITS NOOOT ABOUT THE LITERAL LION THING ITS A METAPHOR ITS ABOUT GENERATIONAL TRAUMA AND TOXIC MASCULINITY GNGNHGNH and its BETTER than a hypothetical witch trial that makes NO SENSE bc HEIHACHI YOU THREW THE KID SAYING THAT IF HE SURVIVED, HE HAD THE EVIL IN HIM. AND THEN YOU RAISED HIM??? WHAT??? Its stupid. I hope he stays dead goodbye forever funny cockroach grandpa.

(mk break again but you genuinely have to explain 80% of the mk ships to me. Maybe its me being idk, a shipping paladin or smth and took an oath to the One True Pairing or whatever and im now blind to the rest but yeah I dont see the majority of it.)

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

EVERYONE SPEAKING THEIR OWN LANGUAGE AND EVERYBODY UNDERSTANDING EACH OTHER DESPITE THAT IS ONE OF THE BEST THING ABOUT TEKKEN. FUCK YOU IF YOU WANT AN ALL JAPANESE OR ENGLISH DUB. ITS ORIGINAL ITS INTERESTING ITS GOOD TO HAVE CHARACTERS SPEAKING ACTUAL FRENCH, SPANISH, PORTUGESE, KOREAN AND OTHER IN A MAINSTREAM VIDEOGAME. FUCK YOU FOREVER IF YOU WANT TO TAKE THAT AWAY OR IF ITS "WEIRD" TO YOU BC ITS NOT REALISTIC, BORING BITCH.

ALSO "NOBODY CARES ABOUT THE PLOT" I DO!!! I DOOO!!! IM NOT GONNA LOWER MY STANDARDS FOR THEM TO MAKE A GOOD SATISFYING STORY JUST BC YOU CARE MORE ABOUT EVO TOURNAMENTS, MICROFRAME DATA, AND IF YOUR WAIFU MAKE IT BACK IN THE MAIN ROSTER.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Reviews: The Town Where Everyone Was Nice! or Scrooge Is the Lindburgh Baby

Saludos Amigos! The Ride of the Three Cablleros has at long last come to the last stop before it’s final phase. It’s been a hell of a ride so far: Our boys have tried to woo some ladies, performed some black magic, had some sort of drug trip, dealt with Donald’s ego, helped goofy ungoofy himself...

“SEASONS CHANGE, TIMES CHANGE BUT UNGOOFY IS FOREVER AND ALWAYS HE IS ALWAYS THERE” ... I created this magificent stalion.. kinda I think he came out of a styigan hole in the universe from the darkest dark in the dark of the dark... I can’t be sure. Our heroes fought an arrogant prince, found a lost city and helped donald get his smile back. All culminating in our heroes going to Spain for some reason, soundtracking Goofy’s win against Horace in Flamico Dancing, somehow that wasn’t a Covid induced fever dream I had but the actual premise of the episode, and then played some soccer with Daisy’s cousin and Pancho Pete. All in all we’ve had some good times getting here and I feel acomplished having made it this far. While I’ve still got quite a ways to go, getting this far means I really made something.. and not just the 80 something dollars it took to comission all of this. And I genuinely just want to thank all of you for reading these as these have easily been some of my most popular reviews and @weirdkev27​ for comissioning all of this. It’s been easily one of my faviorite projects so far and I look forward to the final leg of it soon. For now though we have one last adventure before the biggest one starts.  But before we can dive into it you probably have a few questions, and since I don’t really need to give Ducktales 2017 a lavish introduction as unlike most stuff so far this show is well and familiar: it’s what got me started reviewing animation on this blog, it’s what got me into the duck community as a full member, and it’s what caught Kev’s attention leading to this entire series. So I have time to answer the questions your probably asking and if your not.. well here’s the answers anyway Wait aren’t you going to cover Louie’s Eleven?: Nope. While I love that episode, I already did a full review of it earlier this year.  I saw no reason to completely and utterly redo the entire thing when my opinions toward the episode haven’t really changed. That being said since I didn’t touch on the boys characterizations in that one too much and since I do want this retrospective to be comprehensive, I will talk about Panchito And Jose’s characterization there briefly during this review at the right time as a compromise. 

Wait why isn’t THIS the last stop since it came out AFTER Legend of the Three Cablleros: Simple.. it felt unsatsfying to both me and kev to end on this one. While their apperance here IS a good one and a big deal... it’s also ANOTHER guest apperance. It’s something I didn’t quite realize for now but outside of the movie.. every apperance after is them guest starring in another series. Their aperances in Don Rosa’s Duck Comics, while awesome and treating them with proper respect, were still them showing up to shake up Donald’s stories and formulas. They were LITERAL guest stars in House of Mouse, and Roadster Racers was entirely just “let’s shove them in there because we can”. Legend.. is their story. Their moment in the sun after too damn long with all three as main characters and while being a lead is normal for donald, Jose and Panchito really HAVEN’T had that shot outside of their home countries. To be the hero of their own fully realized epic adventure. So it just fits best to have the road lead there instead of have all that happen.. then go back to yet another guest appearance. The other major factor.. is that while Legend came out around the same time as ducktales, to the point many compared and contrast both shows treatment of Donald, this episode is what most non-latin american audiences saw first as it took Disney WAY too damn long to air the series over here.. i.e. until Disney Plus launched, finding it somewhere online was the only option despite the series being produced in america with some really big american names voice acting wise. Point is this came first to some people, so i’m using that as a flimsy excuse to put it ahead so we get a better finale. 

Now all that’s settled, let’s dive into “The Town Where Everyone Was Nice!” and see what one of the best duck propeties period makes of our boys. 

We open in a remote town in Brazil. It’s the Festival of the Flower.. which is a bit off to me. While it DOES kind of make plot sense.. the problem is the lure was written to Panchito and Jose.. Jose whose a brazil native and could’ve possibly been supscious that a tourist invintation wasn’t in Brazilian Portugese, the countries national language and something I specifically researched just to see what it’d be called. For the record it’d be O Festival da Flor acording to google translate, which still sounds neat, Webby could’ve still said it means festival of the flower. It just feels like a missed opportunity from a creative team that’s taken such pains to make the series feel as authentic as possible and clearly put a lot of hard work and research into making each location feel like it’s real world counterpart.  But it’s a minor thing and we soon get our two plots for the episode: Our B Plot.. is that Dewey can’t stay the fuck off his phone and is taking pictures rather than actually getting experiences with Louie enabling him, while Webby gets increasingly frustrated at Dewey not actually botherting to experince this unique and obscure culture. We’ll get back to this in a bit. 

Our main plot naturally concerns the reason our heroes are here: Donald is reuniting with The Cabs, who in this continuity are his old College friends who Scrooge hates due to having to listen to them practice constnatly and tells the kids they’d hate it worse than his playing the bagpipes. 

Bagpipes are objectively the worst insterument on earth. They are loud, unharmonic and generally just obnoxious. I do respect how important they are to Scotland, home of David Tennant, Grant Morrision and .. Alan Cumming and James Macavoy? Wait what? that’s awesome! Point is Scotland is great but I do not like the bagpipes except when Bugs Bunnny is murdering them. Honestly Donald’s college band was probably more like this. Nothing bad at all just mildly pathetic and mildly pathetic is what got Donald a girlfriend, so it’s not a  bad look

That brings me to another point: Scrooge is pretty obnoxious in this episode. It seems like his sole reason for coming was to bitch about Donald’s old college band. He could’ve just sent them a stern letter like the pros at being a cranky old geezer do. 

I do GET why he’s here as there are some REALLY damn funny bits with him in the a-plot, it just feels like they could’ve justified it better. But on to better things as Jose and Panchito enter the scene after Scrooge claims they “weren’t so cool”.. with Panchito diving from a plane and drifting down on his umbrella

And Panchito shows up dramatically playing the guitar. A truly awesome and worthy intro to our boys. So let’s talk about them in this series. Honestly the two really aren’t that diffrent from usual, though Jose’s lady chasing is given to Panchito, his footloose world traveling lifestyle remains in tact as does his genuine charm while Panchito remains the peppy one, just with his outbursts gone as his guns are replaced with cell phones.. 

Yeah while I do get replacing the pistols because let’s face it the mexican of the group being a gun nut was pretty damn unfortunate, though Don Rosa toned it down and justifed it well, and frankly guns are a hard no for family shows these days unless their laser guns so replacing them I get. But instead of I dunno giving him knives or turning his holsters into pouches carrying his stuff.. he just has two Cell Phones. It’s weird. It dosen’t really make sense other than for him putting on a big shot act and even big stars probably don’t have two phones on them at all times. It’s just a VERY weird update that makes not a whole lot of logical sense and I belivie is thankfully gone by the next ep. The only real issue I have is the two just sorta blend together personality wise instead of being distinct like usual, but that’s also happened in other apperances, so it’s not exactly a new or unique problem, and the two’s voice actors do a great job making both feel like they should. 

Speaking of which let’s just go ahead and discuss that elephant in the room: The Cabs were recast for the first time in ages, which didn’t sit well with friends of legend as Eric Bauza, who’d replaced rob Paulsen, was himself replaced by Arturo Del Puerto and Bernado Del Paulo replaced Jamie Camil and Carlos Aquazi as Panchito. And I have mixed opinons on this one: Replacing Eric was a no brainer: while he’s a terrific voice actor.. he’s not brazilian and the crew of Ducktales 2017 perfer to cast actors who match their characters backgrounds, which again adds to the authenicty of it’s globetrotting and scope. They don’t ALWAYS, Cree Summer isn’t, as far as I know, Egyptian and Catherine Tate, while wonderful, isn’t italian. But for the most part it adds a nice flavor to things and frankly I personally prefer it when Jose is voiced by an actual brazilian man. So that change i’m fine with. Not using Camil though... I do not get. Jamie Camil is a throughly talented voice actor, having done TONS of great work lately , vocing Globgor for star vs and not getting nearly enough screen time as the loveable demon dad, and stealing the show as Don Carnage earlier in the series. While that episode is one of the series weakest, he’s still easily the best part of it and I hope Carnage shows up one last time before the finale. 

So it really makes.. no sense to me to replace him. Not only is camil a bigger named actor, but he was already on the show and even the defense of “well they don’t want actors playing multiple rolls” ended up utterly destroyed by the end of the season, as Christ Dimatopolus not only reprised Storkules, but went on to play Drake and Melon, and picked up a FOURTH role in season 3 as Hades. My point is the show has no real issue with doubling up on voice rolls, so I scratch my head as to why Camil wasn’t given this part too despite being the obvious choice. Del Paulo isn’t a bad actor and is great in the role.. I just scratch my head why he was needed when a perfect actor for the part was right there and already had experince with the character. 

I do think Puerto and Paulo are terrific and do the characters justice, issues with Paulo being there at all aside, and they do a great job and more than earned the roles and I don’t think the mass critcisim of this version of the characters is entirely warranted.. for this episode. This episode while they can meld into each other... that happens in most of their apperances anyway, so it’s not unusual or unique to this series. I will say however that the way their written in their next apperance is utter garbage: they aren’t really given any chances to be distinct, are basically written as one person even worse .. and that one person is a greedy asshole who takes advantage of their friend and never apologizes. I do get why people did not like them in that episode. I do think it has no baring on this one and people should stop bashing these versions as a whole for one terrible episode, especially when Louie has been written pretty badly for the bulk of season 3, yet is still not a bad character. It’s unfair to paint the series as painting them soley as selfish jackasses when it didn’t at first and hopefully wont’ again when they presumibly show up for the finale’s big avengers endgame sequence I hope is coming. For now they aren’t bad and the colors are crisp and the animation nice and bouncy on our boys. 

Since we have two plots here, I’m just going to go ahead and split em since honestly, the b plot dosen’t really impact the a-plot until really the last minute and is basically happening right along side it and in concert with it. Sooooo... 

The Trite B-Plot: As you can probably gather I didn’t really like this one. It’s basically 5-7 minutes of me wanting to punch a child in the face. Or rather Webby wanting to have fun experinces and actually take in the culture while in town, while Dewey just wants to take pictures of everything, make it seem like he did stuff, and generally is obnoxious to webby while Louie supports him wholeheartdly. That last part is really one of the few good parts of the plot as it’s nice for one of the brothers plots to NOT be about them being in conflict or squabbling but just hanging out and having some fun, doubly so since i’ve had to spend a season watching Louie , outside of a few good exceptions be an absolute dick to Huey and also Dewey once. It’s nice to just see him and Dewey bond over a shared intrest: posting shit online and getting good photos. 

And it’s not without GOOD gags: Dewey’s obnoxious captions at one point while Webby continually looses her shit, Louie continually saying “that’s so wise” at Dewey’s bullshit philosphies, Webby’s continued annoyance is delivered great by Kate as always, and the best bit is Webby, utterly pissed at Dewey for refusing to eat Local Cuisine, wolfing down the entire fucking plate, all the dumplings in her mouth at once while Dewey, naturally, takes a picture. Otherwise this is just.. grating. It’s utterly grating to watch Webby GENUINELY try hard to absorb the local culture and really enjoy a once in a life time experince.. while Dewey jackasses about and basically acts like she’s wrong for it and treats his best friend like garbage. Just because i’ts nice it’s not Louie this time doesen’t make one of the kids being a dick without any nuance or character stuff suddenly great. It’s just tiresome. 

And SOMEHOW , despite already not liking it the first time watching the episode.. it’s even WORSE now afterlast years. No not because I watched it while having to put up with Coronoavirus induced Chills, but because another show did this plot 100 times better: Close Enough. One of the best new shows of the year, Close Enough had a plot where exes Bridget and Alex, aka yet aother great set of Kimiko Glenn and Jason Mantzokus characters, went on vacation together, but their attempts to have some ex sex fell flat due to longstanding issues we found about through this plot: Bridget has a bad habit of doing what Dewey did, focusing way more on her social than actually enjoying her vacatoin while Alex has a bad habit of befreinding random weirdos who agree with his worldview. Keep in mind this is the same worldview that spent an afternoon connecting garfield to jesus while pissing in a jug for some reason. Point instead of a character just being a smug dick, it ties into actual character flaws that helped us not only learn more about them but lead to a really heartwarming scene where the two admit they jsut can’t sleep together casually with allt heir baggage, and that they still have a lot to sort out. Before given the show their on having their friends show up from the a plot and all of them getting kidnapped by a robot because Josh skipped a bunch of ads and a 5 year old has to solve some issues and prove she’s not dumb to blow up said robot. What i’m saying is it’s even more insufferable watching this after seeing it done a thousand times better, and fucking watch Close Enough. Thankfully unlike Inifnity Train it’s not reliant on you to get a second season as it’s been renewed proving that even in a cluster fuck like 2020 miracles can happen, but it’d still be nice for it to get more fans during the presumably long wait for Season 2. Let’s move past this, i’ll get to the plot relevant bit for the climax when we get to the climax, and onto the reason your all here. 

The Main Event: A Life Not Wasted

Okay onto the actual plot. Rewinding quite a bit, the boys meet our boys, and we get some good bits. The boys cool new handshake leaves Huey wanting one only for Louie to simply lick his hand. See this is Louie dickery I can get behind because what did Huey expect? I do take comfort in the fact he has actual friends now who will likely do a handshake, fenton very much included. I’m sure Gyro didn’t want one either so he’s had plenty of time to workshop. We also find out one of the boys was dropped as an egg and well.. given Dewey opens and closes his eyes one at a time for this one moment, the ohter triplets just sorta.. silently agre it’s Dewey. IT does explain why he thought Champ Popular would get over..that and Santa Claus is Going to Highschool being his favorite movie. 

So both Jose and Panchito claim to be sucessful: Jose being a sucessful jetsetter and trendsetter, and Panchito being a world famous pop star, never stop stopping. So Donald being donald panics and runs into a alley where Scrooge and Huey join him.  Donald is fully convinced he’s wasted his life and has nothing to show for it. Huey rightfully points out he raised three wonderful children and isn’t that enough? Naturally given Donald clearly has some issues related to this subject and Scrooge has develoved into old man yells at cloud, he agrees it’s not important as money. So Huey decides to help his uncle because he’s the good son.. and because the two are easily the most alike out of Donald and his Kids. It’s something I haven’t really been able to bring up before so I was delighted to realize i could now: Besides the obvious people bring up constnatly, I.e. Huey having inhereted the most of the family rage out of his brothers, there’s the fact both are kind of obessive, both tend ot spiral into panic when a situation goes wrong, both are awkward with women, both are frequently ignored or taken for granted by those around them, and both are awkward adorable dorks who I will give my life to protect. It’s why I think Huey has the best relationship with his uncle of the bunch: He’s the only one who at least TRIES to empahtize with him and support him. While the other two do love him, and Webby of course likely has an insanne and horrifying shrine of him, and scrooge and probably della now in her closet.. and of course lena but that’s less out of hero worship and more out of her insane, over the top, very webby version of love. Point is, he’s the one who genuinely sees his uncle as a person who needs help and love. This was best demonstrated in the scene at the bank back in “Who Is Gizmoduck” as Huey tries to get his uncle a loan using the guidebook and is there soley to help the guy and taking time out of his day to visit the bank. Let’s face it though this is huey: he probably loves visiting the bank. They just got new pens! So Huey decides to put his improv badge to good use... so far the only use he’s gotten is Louie laughing at the fact he actually earned an improv badge and urges donald to simply ACT like he’s sucessful. Scrooge balks at this, because as Wonder Woman 1984 taught us nothing good comes from lies.. or from  banging your ghost boyfriend while he’s possessing someone’s body without said body’s consent and plan to fully live out the rest of your lives togehter without ever considering how fucked up this is. I will..deal with that movie ... soon. But he soon changes his turn and agrees to go along with it to avoid Jose getting upset and them having to pay for everything. 

So Huey suggest Donald keep the lie small, but belivable. Given the law of sitcoms when it comes to anyone saying that and the fact this is Donald, he instead panics and lies that he’s taken over McDuck industries and scrooge has gone full abe simpson in the other direction. 

Which is why i’m not enitrely annoyed by Scrooge’s presence: while they don’t even handwave him being here, Scrooge putting on an old man act, and sometimes getting back at donald for it is solid gold the whole damn time and some of David Tennat’s best comedic acting on the show, so it makes up for him being a grumpus.  And while i’m not usually not a fan of liar revealed plots, this one works for me.. mostly because it’s rooted in character. Here Donald is lying.. but because of deep seated neurosis he’s yet to fully tackle. While he loves his boys and is proud of htem every day... it’s very clear Donald hates his life and how it turned out. We got bits of this back in House of the Lucky Gander, with Donald’s first thought upon thinking he’s about to die is “I wasted my life” and feeling entirely like a looser. This episode brillinatly builds on that: it shows a Donald who simply feels.. he acomplished nothing. It’s easy to see why as his parents were happy and sucessful at whatever they did from the looks of it and how well taken care of the kids were, his uncle is the richest duck in the world and it’s greatest hero and explorer, his sister is the only one who could rival that record, and his cousin constnatly gets riches and fame handed to him. Donald.. by comparison.. is just a normal guy whose house is in his rich uncle’s pool, who has no job, no partner, and only really the love of his family. He spent his life on adventures he didn’t want to have living int he shadow of someone he grew to resent before the Spear of Selene incident blew things up for a decade. And then when he was free instead of becoming a big sucess... he blew the rest of it being overprotective of his boys and bouncing from dead end job to dead end job. It’s easy to see why he sees himself as a failure despite having lived a good life: compared to everyone else, even his sister who mooned herself, in his life.. he feelsd far behind. And as someone whose felt they were far behind countless times and only now is realizing they haven’t and it’s a marathoon ot a sprint I naturally relate. So his wanting to play big shot for just ONE day, to be the big hero like scrooge, teo be a sucess for five minutes with his best friends.. it’s understandable and relatable. 

So Donald continues the ruse, leading to a great bit where the cabs all try to avoid picking up the check “WE can’t all keep whistling nonchalantly” before Scrooge is forced to give Donald the money to in the best joke of the episode.. and I mean FORCED. He and donald get into a fight with their hands under the table and Huey eventually gets fed up with that and has to BITE his uncle’s hand just to get him to do what he shoudl’ve done ruse or no given he’s the richest person there. The reason I take special offense to this.. is that my fairly wealthy grandpa and grandma, my mom’s dad and his wife for the record, would buy us dinner EVERY TIME they were near town, a nice steak dinner with whatever we wanted to most of the time. They knew we couldn’t afford such luxury half the time and wanted to treat us and spend time with us. Since my grandpa’s passing, my Grandma and her New Husband have continued the tradition since then, if obviously not this year for damn obvious reasons, thought hey sent us a really nice dinner to cook for christmas in the same spirit. What i’m saying is when you know your relatives arne’t as stacked as you , you pay for the fucking meal especially since i’ts a special occasion, and even for someone as stingy as scrooge, it comes off as a dick move. 

We then get the best scene with the episode, just inching out the climax as the three simply talk, remince on old times, have a good rib like old friends would. It feels natural and wonderful to watch and gets even better when the three hear the radio and end up having an impromptu dance and musical number. Also Jose’s umbrella is also a flute somehow. 

Point is the boys have a good time and Donald gets carried away, with the boys planning a world tour. Huey, while happy to endulge his uncle in a badly needded ego boost, isn’t happy to endulge this and scrooge is unwilling ot pay, more resonably this time. Huey eventually talks him out of being a moron and tells him he has to tell the honest truth and while that dosen’t work this does. 

So as Donald goes to face the music, we have come to our climax. Phrasing. 

The Finale: Ay Carumba

So we come to our finale. Backing up a scene or too to the B-Plot, webby is interviewing a local about the festival when she gets stuck in a loop. So far in the episode we’ve had hints something is up with the people as they go all yellow eyed.. and webby finds out why as she notices the “person” she was interviewing is, in a hilarious and disturbing review.. a horrignly realistic hand puppet.. and upon stealing Louie’s phone, she points out there’s no shots of anyone’s feet.. and the reason why is that the giant flower the feast is about is a mean green mother from outer space and he’s bad. And Webby finding that out’s got him fighting mad.  Webby and the boys naturally run to warn the remaning boy and scrooge and they all run out only to get blocked out of town and captured. Dewey looses his phone inside the plant monster.

In a great joke, Scrooge ended up actually throwing his back out with the old man act, so our heroes are all captured and it’s up to our stars to save the day.  So while his family is in peril, Donald finally comes clean with Jose and Panchito naturally being upset.. for a second before Jose admits he lied to and an irate panchito.. is forced to admit he also lied. Jose is a flight attendant, hopefully he’ll get his own mini series where he accidently murders a dude on disney plus, which is a nice update of his globe trotting ways, as it’s a resonable way for someone with no money to get around the world these days and Panchito is a birthday party muscian. They all however chuckle over this realizing they haven’t come as far as they thought.. and they still have each other. It’s a nice way of modernizing Rosa’s jobs for them and their hard luck lives he set up and I love this. IJt’s just a sweet emotoinal scene that makes donald, and his friends, realize they aren’t faliures and life isn’t just about reaching some arbitrarity goal.. just like Soul taught me aka the actually great movie I watched on Christmas Day.  But since Donald’s family is in peril Jose suggests theys till play the gig.. just like they did ion acapulco thus we get the second best scene of the episode and another worthy rendition of The Three Caballeros as our heroes beat the shit out of the plant, free the kids and the plant straighens out scrooges back. 

It’s beautiful, psycadelic, and utterly awesome. Seroiusly the bright boldend colors are awesome and so’s this sequence. Easily one of the show’s best.. and it’s a show that contiains the greatest scene in television history

So that masterclass concludes with Donald signing.. badly.. and blowing the plant hte fuck up. Our heroes win and head off in the sunchaser. No idea what Launchpad is up to, probably has another ex in the area. Point is our heroes win, Dewey deletes his photos because “If there was no pics it didn’t happen” (So wise) and Donald decides to get the band back together, prompting scrooge to do an animal house on Panchito’s guitar... you.. you know you have to pay for that right? you aren’t a loveable frat man and he wasn’t ‘singing and I gave my love a cherry. Your obligated to get him a new guitar. You know that right?

So with that the episode wraps. This is a pretty good episode. While the subplot is bad and it should feel bad the main plot is emotional, well done and really adds more depth to Donald’s character while giving us a hell of a show with the cabs. The College Band background gives the boys a unique flavor this time around, not musically but in how they know each other and helps set it apart from the countless other reunions. It’s a truly bright, colorful and fun episode with some great gags and great performances. As I said Puerto and Paulo really knock it out of the park as the boys and while I would’ve preferred Jamie Camil, Paulo was still utterly excellent, though Puerto was the clear standout of the two. While their second apparence would be disapointing characterization wise, overall this was a fun introduction to two of disney’s best into it’s best universe and one of Season 2′s Standouts. 

Next Time on the Ride of the Three Cablleros: we begin our massive finale look at The Legend of the Three Cablleros. Donald gets dumped by a nightmare of a person and finds an inhertance, new friends, and some sort of hot adventure god in his new cabana. Good times. Until then goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. 

[mcyt-sh1t]

ventish

i can't believe how naive i was to ever think that she wanted to be friends with me. i mean come on, there were so many fucking red flags- but i still hung out with her because dhe was my only friend in school that had something in common with me. we actually had some great times together, but the day that i came to hang out with her for the last time.. i was shocked to find that she had brought her 2 guy friends with her too..

THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE OUR OWN DAY

ONLY US TWO

NOT US AND HER FUCKING DUMBASSES OF GUY FRIENDS

AND IT REALLY DID HURT. IT STILL HURT. WE MADE PLANS. WE HAD BEEN PLANNING THIS DAY EVER SINCE SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS LEAVING AND WHAT? YOUR JUST GOING TO BRING YOUR OTHER FRIENDS ALONG?

I UNDERSTAND YOU CAN HAVE OTHER FRIENDS BUT SHE STILL HAD LIKE 5 MORE FUCKING DAYS - NEARLY A FUCKING WEEK TO HANG OUT WITH THEM AND SAY GOODBYE TO THEM.

but she chose the day that we were supposed to hang out for the last time.

it really hurts. it stings like hell. even now, a week later.

just watching them play together in the river while i was holding their stuff, watching them talk about portugal and what it will be like, talking in portugese IN FRONT OF ME with me just standing there like🧍🏼‍♀️because i couldn't understand what the fuck they were saying. i stood there like🧍🏼‍♀️and smiling at strangers passing by because they all just looked at me in sympathy because i wasn't included. fucking strangers felt more sympathy for me then my own best friend..

I SWEAR TO GOD I EVEN HEARD THEM TALKING ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK IN PORTUGESE BECAUSE THEY SAID MY NAME AND WHEN I CALLED THEM OUT FOR IT THEY STARTED WHISPERING TO EACH OTHER.

i hate her.

i fucking hate her.

i don't understand why i still care.

maybe i care too much.

i care too much about the people that i love and trust.

she was my best friend for 3 fucking years and then she just leaves me like that because of two guy friends.

i should have seen it coming because there were so many big hints. but i was naive enough to think she still wanted to be my friend.

so when we got near her house i had to text my mum to pick me up because i had such a bad fucking time that i really regretted fucking waking up early in the morning waiting for my mum to drive me to her house.

when i told her my mum was going to pick me up she didn't even react like she normally would.

no reaction whatsoever.

only an 'okay' and then she carried on talking to her guy friends.

she and one of her guy friends went inside her house to wash their hands because we were climbing up hills and we were in mud, while i stayed outside with her other guy friend. he started asking me questions "are you sad that (her name) is moving?" and i just look at him like🧍🏼‍♀️ "bitch i fucking hate it. we've been friends for 3 fucking years, i don't want her to move away. i fucking hate it."

but then i felt bad because i was letting out all of my anger out on him instead of her.

i swear it felt like years until my sister and dad finally picked me up.

then when i came home everyone started asking me questions and it really pissed me the fuck off like, can't you see i don't want to fucking talk about it?? and the thing is- they didn't even give me privacy or my space because they kept on coming in every 30 seconds 'just checking in on you' and it just made me even more mad, so then the anger for her and her guy friends mixed in with the anger at my family and it just made me so fucking annoyed.

i hate her

i fucking hate her

i hate that i care too much

i fucking hate that i care too much

all her mean words

all their mean words

that i at the time, thought were just jokes. they left scars.

and it still hurts.

everytime someone says something mean or bad about me, it sticks.

it carves into my heart. it will never go away. and that's what sucks. i care too fucking much and then peolple just end up leaving or moving away. and i always know its my fault.

always my fault.

because i was their best friend.

i was there during their darkest times, i was there comforting them during their tough times. and yet they still chose to leave me.

i was always the one who cared too much for her friends.

its so annoying because all i ever wanted was a fucking friend who is and always will be there for me in my darkest and lowest times. none of them ever were. but i still was there for them when they needed me. it was always about them. never about me.

they were always the main character, and i was just an extra that was so far away i was blurred out.

life lesson: please do think before you say something, you really don't know how much it might affect that person.

[cassiusavery]

introducing cassius avery !

the basics ;;

AGE → Thirty Four

DOB → 19 July, 1944 

SEX → Male

SEXUALITY → Heterosexual

BLOOD STATUS → Pureblood

AFFILIATION → Death Eaters

RELATIONSHIP STATUS → Married..it’s complicated, and a very long story, but he’s married.

SHIPS → Chemistry

ANTI-SHIPS → No chemistry, Forced

appearance ;;

HEIGHT → 6 foot, 1 inches

EYE COLOUR → Blue (with a little hazel in them)

HAIR COLOUR → Blond

HAIR STYLE → he only grows it until the wife decides it’s time for a trim, then he usually buzzes it and starts over. 

SCARS / DISTINGUISHING FEATURES → If you want to talk about scars, we’ll be here for a while. Cassius is covered in scars of all sizes from all manner of activities from war to black market animal smuggling - he does it all, he’s seen it all, and there’s plenty of stories to be found on his skin. He does have a dark mark, and when necessary, it is covered. 

CLOTHING STYLE → jeans, tshirt, boots. there’s rarely any variation, aside from maybe a thermal or a tank, or no shirt at all, and he only dresses up when he has to - and complains the entire time.

wizarding world information ;;

HOUSE → Slytherin

EXTRACURRICULARS → he played quidditch, and that was it. 

WAND → 10 inches, hornbeam wood and werewolf claw core - this is a family wand, presented to Cassius on his 30th birthday. His own wand is 9 inches, ivy wood, with boomslang venom core, and is virtually as deadly (and rare, Gregorovitch was interested to see it leave with him) in his hands as the Avery family wand. He uses both.  

PATRONUS → Cassius cannot make a patronus

BOGGART → being trapped in a confined and shrinking space, no windows, no exits, nothing but his own thoughts and failings and desperation for the person he wants most  who is waiting just outside his prison for him to join her...but he can’t get out.

AMORTENTIA → In Amortentia, Cassius finds the scent of rust and salt, of freshly sharpened steel, cigarette smoke, burnt rubber, wildflowers, and cherry

MIRROR OF ERISED → In the mirror of erised, cassius believes he would see himself exactly as he is, because he is generally content with his life.

family information ;;

HOMETOWN → London 

PARENTS → Brutus and Agatha (rest in pieces, bitch) Avery

SIBLINGS: → Deiter Avery - deceased, age 7

PETS →  none 

FAMILY DYNAMIC → What family? Cassius’ family consists of one man and one woman, and he definitely prefers the latter to the former. Born to Brutus and Agatha (a weak, pathetic, emotional disaster of the greengrass line) Cassius is exactly the man that his father raised him to be - cold, callous, hard, violent, practically emotionless, and one of the Dark Lord’s most relied upon minions, Cassius barely knew his mother, aside from knowing her hatred (he’s pretty sure that doesn’t count) and was practically a stranger to his own little brother. Brutus wanted a strong heir, a strong man, and he believed firmly that his ties to his mother and brother would soften him, so he kept Cassius away, kept him strong, kept him bitter, while the young Deiter was doted on and spoiled with affection as so many spares are. In the end, Deiter was weak, a disease in their line with his poor health and when he was 7, Cassius a tender 11 about to go to school for the first time, he died. At the time of the funeral, Cassius had spent maybe 24 hours total with his brother throughout his short life, and as such, couldn’t find it in himself to care about the boy’s passing - not when the spoiled little shit had received every ounce of kindness Cassius hardly knew existed in their parents, and his mother, so devastated by the loss of her sweet favorite and so angered by her eldest’s callous emptiness, declared her hatred for him outright then and there... She spent the next two months crying hysterically, alternating between speaking and not, eating and not, and hurling curses, hexes, and vases (anything she could find) at her son any chance she got... then mysteriously died two short months later, while Cassius was on the train to Hogwarts. The letter from Brutus, waiting for him at the gate to the school (attached to Dumbledore, ew), explained this to him, as well as the fact that he would not be returning home for the services, as there would be none, for any woman so miserable and disgusting enough as to choose a dead son over a perfect live one had no place in their world or life, and they would be better without her. This was the first time Cassius could remember his father Brutus ever doing something specifically for him, something to show the young blond that whatever his faults the man had his back (the words were never said, the situation never mentioned again) and it would be a long time before it happened again, but in a small way, it’s this loyalty that keeps Brutus in his life today, however far Cassius keeps him away, and however many times Cass has lashed out or acted in spite. Brutus is proud of his son, too proud, and now has no qualms showering Cassius (and his wife) with what he deems as appropriate praise and affection - parties, presents, hugs, speeches - but he keeps his distance as requested.  The woman, though? His favorite family member? His wife, Ilona, who’s been his best friend (and pretty much only friend sometimes) for as long as he can remember. There is nothing he would not do for her, and it is rare to see him stray far from her presence if he’s not working. He’d follow her around all day if she let him - and she doesn’t anymore, not all day everyday, because she gets tired of the sighing and complaints of hunger and boredom.

personality ;;

LIKES → his motorcycle, being a bastard, threatening people, drinking, swearing, starting fights, doing illegal things, getting paid for doing illegal things - actually, the list of things Cassius likes is pretty boring and pedantic and really just depends on what day it is

DISLIKES → stupidity, high pitched voices, people, people speaking to him, having to wear a tie, having to go to fancy parties, keeping his feet off of the sofa, forgetting to wear gloves, getting poisoned or cursed because eh forgot to wear his gloves

FEARS → i’ll get back to you

STRENGTHS → bold, loyal, protective, hard worker, fine eye for detail, speaks 8 languages fluently - English, French, Russian, Portugese, Gobbledygook, Mermish, Spanish, Sarcastic Asshole  

WEAKNESSES → violent, uncooperative, mean, shady AF (etc, he’s got so many bad qualities guys, he’s a murderer and a criminal and he likes it)

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN → cancer

MYERS BRIGGS TYPE → he wasn’t interested in finding out

[tmnt-veelicious]

Across the Stars - Ch.11

Man I suck at updating rapidly, I’m so sorry OTL ANYWAY, here’s the new chapter aaahhh :’Y we meet Mikasa, yeehhh !

!! WARNING, NSFW (18+) STUFF HAPPENING HERE !!

First Chapter --> HERE Previous Chapter --> HERE Next Chapter --> HERE

''What do you think she looks like?'' started April as both women were walking down the sewers. Tonight was the night Leonardo was finally bringing this new person around the lair. April had been surprised at first, knowing how the leader usually was reluctant about bringing outsiders, but she dared believe that he was finally starting to open up and accept the fact that meeting new people was not a bad thing. ''Based on what Donnie found, she's Japanese. Mikasa Kanegawa. Her family moved to the United States fourteen years ago for business matters and stayed ever since. Right now she's a martial art teacher, mostly specializing in different forms of karate and taekwondo.'' ''Why am I not surprised,'' lightly laughed the reporter. ''The fact that Leo can speak Japanese just makes things better.'' ''Wait, he does?'' added in Vee, her eyes wide. ''Yeah, he and Splinter are the only one who does. Raph tried to learn but he had some hard time keeping up.'' ''Well that's awesome then, I'll have someone who to practice with when I'll finally get to learn that language!'' April frowned, looking towards her friend: ''What do you mean by 'finally get to'?'' Vee shrugged: ''Oh, well, I've been studying Spanish and German for some years and when I'll feel confidant enough with them I'll get to Japanese and Brazilian Portugese.'' ''Okay, so you're telling me right now you know how to speak four languages?!'' ''I'd say mostly three and a half,'' smiled the artist. ''German is still a bitch sometimes. … My main goal is to be a polyglot.'' ''Poly-what now?'' laughed April. ''Polyglot! It means that I can speak multiple languages. I love learning them and it's a good exercize for the brain.'' ''Jeez, I can see that, you bring out big words just like Donnie. … You two really belong together,'' added the brunette playfully, nudging the other's arm. They finally arrived to the lair, first greeted by Mikey and Raph. April was soon off to go help clean around as Vee made her way towards Donnie's workspace. She was slightly surprised to not find him there, the gears in her mind suddenly turning and fearing for the worst. She frowned, suddenly hearing clanking sounds coming from the garage part of the lair, accompanied by some faint music in the background, recognizing Holy Diver by Dio. Oh no he DIDN'T. She made her way towards the source, getting to the garbage truck and noticing a form underneath; Donnie. He was wearing worn out jeans with holes at the knees part, his 'dirty work' pants as he liked to call them. Only his legs and feet could be seen as his upper body was tucked under the truck, occupied with some parts underneath the vehicule. Vee had a deadpan look on her face, getting to him and nudging one of his feet with one of hers. ''What the hell are you doing?'' she asked. She saw the turtle slightly jump, unaware that she had arrived. As he was laying on a plank with wheels, he rolled out from his hiding place, revealing his features dirtied with oil and soot, same for his torso and arms. ''Oh, Vee! Good timing, I need help,'' he said with a grin. ''Your tiny hands are exactly what I need.'' ''Donnie!'' scolded the woman, hands on her hips. The mutant's smile faded, his lips now forming a thin line: ''… What?'' ''You said you'd be working on the truck tomorrow! Leo and Mikasa will be coming in at any moment now and you look like you walked straight into Mordor.'' This time Donnie couldn't help his cocky grin, easily quoting: ''One does not simply walk into Mordor.'' Vee puffed, trying to contain her snicker. She did get back to a serious state though. ''Couldn't you just wait? It'd be cool for Leo's friend to have a good first impression of this place.'' ''I know,'' added the turtle. ''I just thought about fixing the suspension, usually that's quick work.'' ''Quick or not, now's not the time!'' Vee tried to soften her features. ''… Tell you what, if you stop right now and go clean, tomorrow I'll help you with whatever you want to do.'' ''But you hate working on cars and mechanics,'' pointed Donatello. ''I promise I won't complain,'' smiled the human. She got nearer, soon hunched over him, her gaze suddenly flirtarious. ''And then we'll spend the evening together and do whatever you want.'' ''Whatever I want?'' ''Yeah!'' ''Even spend all our evening learning all the decimals of Pi?'' Vee winced a little. ''… Not what I had in mind, but yeah, whatever I guess.'' The other laughed, getting up. ''Don't worry, I'm messing with you,'' he said, now standing next to the woman. Vee couldn't help getting closer, her fingers instinctively hooking at his jeans' loops, slightly biting her lip with a smile. ''… Wearing those jeans, you can mess with me anytime,'' she dared say. She was met with a renewed chuckle from the mutant, the male placing a finger under her chin, tilting her head up so he could leave a kiss on her lips. He knew he had her under his charm, soon leaving a hand to cup her jaw and neck, grinning wide in his mind. And as soon as the kiss ended, he playfully frowned, cackling. ''Ah-ha! Right into my trap! Now you have to go clean with me.'' Vee was confused for a moment, until she brought a hand to where he held, noticing how dirty her skin was now. ''Oh you nasty boy!'' *** Donnie had opted for a bath this time, the tub easily fitting both of them anyway. Vee sighed, her back resting against her lover's torso, her eyes closed as she let her muscles relax in the warm water. She hummed as she felt the turtle's arms get around her, hugging her close, resting his head on top of hers. ''Feels like heaven right now,'' mumbled Vee, a soft smile on her lips. ''No need to bring religion into this. Let us praise our rightful deity instead; the glorious serotonin,'' added Donatello with a calm sigh. Vee giggled, sighing and humming once more afterward, letting herself drift into this peaceful feeling. She felt the turtle's hands move after a while, slowly, trailing her shape and soon getting to the woman's arms. They were now holding hands, the mutant bringing one up after the other, leaving lasting kisses on top of them. ''You're so small...,'' mused Donnie. Everytime he compared her hands to his three-fingered ones, he couldn't help wonder how life would be like if he and his brothers had ever taken that purple ooze... He did envy humans for being so free up above … but at the same time he couldn't deny how unique he and his family were, somehow finding solace in that simple thought. ''Is it a bad thing or a good one?'' asked Vee, bringing the other back from his thoughts. ''Definitely a good one,'' answered the turtle in a sweet tone, bringing his arms and hands around the woman once more. ''You're cute.'' Vee puffed a small laughter: ''Oh please, I'm not cute. I'm a femme fatale,'' she joked. ''You're the one who said it so it is now law.'' He chuckled, leaving small kisses on top of her head.

He could certainly not deny that fact, her hourglass shape ever so hypnotizing. She was no thin supermodel, but he couldn't have asked for better, to say the truth. Donnie's hands moved once more, stuck in his daydream, somehow starting to lust over her shape. Vee followed his lead, relaxing as she felt one of her lover's touch on her thighs and the other to her breasts. Long sighs left her, sticking closer to the mutant's body, her legs slightly spreading as she knew the male was going to her core, ever so slow and teasing. Vee let out a soft and low moan as the turtle touched her, his pace never too harsh. ''I'm sure this was your plan all along,'' mewled the woman, her eyes still closed, her head hanging back to rest against Donnie's collarbone and base of his neck. ''If I could, I'd keep touching you all day and night long,'' he said, a low churr rising. ''Your body's one of the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.'' ''Hmm, you're too kind, sir,'' added in Vee, smiling lazily. Her hips started to follow his rhythm, biting her lip so she would stay quiet. Donnie's hand on her torso moved to her neck, cupping her jaw and tilting her head slightly more so he could trail kisses along her features as he started to finger her. ''Oh, Donnie...,'' let out the human in a small whimper. She felt her mind spin, getting dizzier with each seconds. She couldn't stay put, her toes curling, her back slightly arching in pleasure. She could feel her lover's erection, grinning lazily. ''It's not fair, I'm the one having all the fun here,'' she commented, her fingers slowly trailing on whatever part of his skin she could reach. ''Don't worry, I'm having fun too,'' answered Donatello, nuzzling her. ''I just want to focus on you...'' A long moan escaped Vee, easily distracted by all these sensations she now felt. Her breathing followed the other's pace, slightly increasing in speed. She mumbled some nonsense, her whole body exploding like fireworks. She didn't want to be selfish, but this whole attention spent on her could only arouse her, gasping as she could feel Donnie's free hand go from her neck to her torso, his caress needy yet sensual. ''Don't stop,'' breathed out Vee, clutching anything she could get a grab on. Her voice started to rise without her consent, blushing at such weakness on her part. She could feel the mutant's finger curl inside her, reaching the right spot. It didn't take long afterward for Vee to cum, moaning her lover's name, her hips moving in circles as she could feel her walls clamp around the other. She felt out of this world, her whole self being on such a high. She had a hard time coming back to reality, only getting to her senses when she felt the turtle's arms around her once more, petting her and some kisses left on top of her head. ''Oh- oh fuck,'' she mumbled. ''That was... fuck.'' ''I know, love,'' smiled Donnie. Somehow eternity seemed to last for a while before they decided to get out of the bathtub. Vee still had a hard time thinking straight, but as soon as she saw that her lover still had an erection, she acted without hesitation. Both still naked, Donatello was backed up to a wall, Vee before him as she started a handjob, staying close as she left lasting kisses on the other's torso. ''Now's your turn,'' she said, showing a smirk as she looked up to Donnie. She felt the other's hands get lost in her hair, holding her close as he left a hungry kiss on her lips, sounds of love escaping him from times to times. His hips lightly followed the woman's rhythm, too caught up in his lust to think rationally. ''Cum for me, Don. I know you want to.'' A loud churr escaped him as he got to his release, knowing he couldn't have lasted longer anyway. He could feel Vee's mouth travel in light kisses around his jaw and his neck, both now in this blissful afterglow. They didn't dare move, lost in eachother's arms, whispering sweet nothings to one another. It was only after a while that Vee was the first one to move, proceeding to clean the mutant before stating that they needed to get dressed. She couldn't erase her smile, same for Donnie, the male playfully growling at times and quickly bringing her near for quick stolen kisses. They finally exited the room, snickering, holding hands and simply unable to let go of one another. *** As they stumbled on the main place, the couple froze as they spotted Leonardo near the entrance, already presenting his friend; Mikasa. Vee quickly brought Donnie to the side with her, now speaking in a hushed tone, gritting her teeth lightly. ''Goddammit, I knew we'd get late. Now we'll look like we don't care about meeting her.'' ''What are you talking about?'' snickered the turtle. ''I'm sure nobody will mind. We were just …. occupied,'' he ended with a comical wink. ''You big dork,'' laughed the woman, lightly slapping one of his shoulders. ''… Now, let's just act as normal as possible. I want to make a good first impression.'' ''I'll let you initiate. The only things I'll know to say are my name and ask how's it going. I suck at presentations.'' Vee was surprised for a moment: ''Huh, wouldn't have guessed.'' ''Hey, I've waited months to meet you. What do you think I was doing? Preparing my speech, duh!'' Both were now laughing and snorting, quickly trying to stop themselves before attracting attention on them. Vee confidantly took Donnie's hand in hers, next making her way towards the group. Their arrival didn't escape the newcomer's gaze as she turned to them. The artist couldn't help her amazement as their eyes met, the first word to come up in her mind being: feline. Her almond shaped eyes had brown irises sparkled with gold, piercing anyone's soul like a hidden fire. Her long ebony hair were straight and silky, complementing how tall she was. Vee couldn't help thinking how she would be intimidated by such woman if she were to meet her on the street. Dressed in a black leather vest and dark clothes, she didn't look like someone you could easily mess with... Leo showed a smile, going towards the couple so he could introduce them rightfully. Vee slightly shook her head, coming back to reality. She finally showed a smile, shaking Mikasa's hand. ''It's a pleasure to meet you,'' said the newcomer. The artist was mesmerized by the woman's voice, soft yet so strong and confidant. She couldn't help thinking how a good match she could be for the leader in blue... *** ''How did you two first meet anyway?'' asked April as everyone was seated around the kitchen table. ''I thought Leo was rather careful around strangers...'' That got her an annoyed stare from the leader, but he got back to normal as Mikasa began speaking: ''I was walking home from work one night and I wanted to take a shortcut through an alleyway. Unfortunately, some street gang probably had the same idea and they stumbled on me, asking for my money.'' ''That's when he jumped in, I'm guessing?'' commented Raph, smirking. ''Actually, she beat me to it,'' added Leo. ''She kicked the living shit out of some of them. I only got to intervene when I saw a guy get a gun out.'' ''It was an … interesting fight,'' half-smiled Mikasa. ''Battling alongside a shadow was an intense experience.'' ''Were you scared?'' asked Vee. The fighter's smile was renewed, tender this time. ''Of course! I pretty much am all the time whenever I battle, but that's what drives me to go forward and aim for victory.'' ''And what about when you saw Leo?'' added in Mikey with a playful look. Leo and Mikasa glanced at eachother, smiling, the woman snickering as she tried to hide her features in embarassment. ''She called me a kappa,'' answered the blue clad turtle. Donnie and Vee were the first ones to laugh, the others confused. ''And what the fuck is that?'' questionned Raph. ''A turtle-like demon from Japan,'' answered Donnie, still giggling. ''Thanks, Donnieclopedia~,'' added Mikey. ''Okay, am I really the only one who got to faint? That's not fair,'' complained April with amusement. '''Cause you're weak, April,'' laughed Raph as the reporter slapped his arm next. Mikasa seemed intrigued. ''Was I supposed to faint? Is it weird? How did Vee react then?'' Vee looked smug, slightly hunching forward on the table, sustaining herself on her elbow. ''To put it simply, I said: Wow.'' The other frowned a bit in confusion. ''Wow?'' ''Yes! I mean, it's not everyday that you get to see a walking, talking turtle. I was already friend with Donatello before meeting him in person so I guess it made things easier? … Also I'm a very curious person so I was mainly mesmerized than scared.'' Mikasa seemed pensive for a moment. ''… I guess I was curious too. For me, it's not everyday I get to battle with the aid of a ninja.'' she had smirked at that last part, briefly glancing towards Leonardo. ''Ha! I'd pay money to see her kick Leo's butt,'' commented Raph with a smirk. His only answer was the leader throwing him an annoyed glare. Donnie did snicker, amused that one of his brothers was finally living through some embarassement like he had to go through the first time he brought Vee to the lair. *** That first meeting with Mikasa had gone surprisingly well! Vee did notice many times how Leo seemed flustered at times, always smiling and his behavior way relaxed. She knew the boys meeting new people was a good thing, April often mentionning how it was refreshing to see them slowly open to the surrounding world. Of course they had to be careful, but it was certain that the mutants had a good reasonning and knew when to show themselves to people. Mikasa was still a mystery. Seeing how relaxed and composed she was during that whole encounter, she must have had a good relation with Leonardo, trusting him and his family to know she had nothing to fear. Vee knew she'd be eager to meet her again, forever captivated by her whole character. *** The next day, Vee did keep her word, not even complaining once as she was settled under the truck, by Donnie's side, helping with whatever he wanted to do. She mostly had to reach for wires inbetween small spaces, her tiny hands proving to be helpful. She was glad to have put on old clothing she didn't care about, soon her grey tank top covered in oil. Her features were dirtied too, but at least she wasn't the only one in this condition. She couldn't deny this moment to be fun, always happy to help the mutant with whatever project he was on. He was always patient with her and somehow eager to teach her new things, as if sharing his knowledge was a dear passion of his. At some point Donnie gave Vee a break, saying that he didn't need much help for what he had to do next. The woman still stayed though, taking this opportunity to teach in return; taking control of the radio and putting in some jazz. She would speak about her various inspirations: Ella Fitzgerald, Julie London, Frank Sinatra, Louis Armstrong, Nat King Cole and many more. How and when the style started, how jazz spread into its many branches.   Donnie could see how passionate she was about music, his love for the artist growing again once more. He could never erase his smile, watching her be so passionate and inspired, the woman drawing at the same time, stating that so many ideas could bloom in her mind whenever she listened to anything. A moment of peace settled in, Vee too caught up in her drawing, seated on a stool, and Donnie focused on the truck's motor before him. The soft tune of Nancy Wilson's Wave was floating in the air, creating a nice mood. The woman's eyes were sometimes glancing up to the turtle, her pencil doing precise strokes on the paper, soon the mutant's shape taking form. She had always wanted to draw him, but was always so shy about asking him to pose... Hunched over her drawing for a little while, she was next back to an observational stance, only to squeak as she spotted Donnie right before her, a smirk on his lips as he was trying to clean his features with a rag. ''You're looking at me and you're drawing. May I dare guess you're drawing me?'' questionned the mutant with amusement. ''Gnnoooo?'' tried to lie Vee, clutching her sketchbook against her chest. ''Aww, come on, I want to see.'' Damn it, she couldn't resist his pleading eyes. She sighed briefly, moving the sketchbook and revealing her work. Donnie studied the drawing for some seconds, now cleaning his hands with the rag, a pleased smile then appearing. ''… You draw so well,'' he complimented. ''I wish I could draw like you.'' Vee snorted a small laugh, arching an eyebrow: ''Are you kidding me? You draw all those complicated blueprints, you have talent too.'' ''Oh please, it's not the same. I follow lines and models. You draw organically, that's something else!'' Vee pointed the garbage truck, mostly the lettering that said 'Tartaruga Brothers'. ''You did this I presume?'' ''I used a stencil,'' simply answered the turtle. ''Same for when I do tattoos.'' Vee did a double take, surprised. ''Wait! So you're telling you're the one who tattooed your brothers? That's awesome!'' ''I did come up with the machine, but as for designs, it's all thanks to Mikey. He's more the artist around here. All I do is follow the lines and fill with black if necessary.'' ''Can you tattoo me? I've been wanting new tattoos lately!'' asked Vee with a large smile. She did wince a little though, knowing she must have sounded needy. ''Unless, that's if you want, of course.'' Donnie lightly laughed, amused by her enthusiasm. ''My equipement is mostly made for strong skin, since us reptiles have it thicker than humans,'' he answered. ''I'd have to change my machine a bit if I ever was to tattoo you. … But yeah, I'd like that!'' ''Sweet, I can finally get your name tattooed on my butt,'' she joked. Both were now laughing, soon Donnie's features showing a loving smile, next tenderly moving some strands of hair away from the woman's face. ''… You are beautiful,'' he said, lovesick. Vee chuckled: ''Ha! Even if I look like a chimney sweeper right now?'' ''Doesn't bother me. As long as I can see you smile, it's the best look there is.'' He couldn't help cupping the bottom of her face, next hunching a little so he could leave a sweet kiss on her lips. Vee did laugh a little afterward, grinning. ''I must be tasting like that damn truck and oil,'' she said, gesturing her dirtied look. ''Then,'' began Donnie, taking her sketchbook and pencil out of her hands, leaving them on a table nearby. ''I think this calls for a shower.'' ''And what next?'' ''Lots of kisses that don't taste like oil?'' ''Now we're talking,'' chuckled Vee. *** That patrol had been pretty much eventless, considering the constant lookout for Foot clan activity. Raph and Mikey were already off to the kitchen for a late snack, leaving Leo and Donnie to hang their equipment. As Donnie was calm as usual, Leo seemed thoughtful, many things bouncing around in his mind. He seemed to weight his words, biting his lip a little in anticipation, finally leaving his katanas to rest on their stand as he started to speak. ''I don't know what to do.'' The purple clad turtle frowned, glancing to his brother. ''… What do you mean?'' ''About Mikasa,'' he added without hesitation, his blue eyes finally rising to meet the other's gaze. He paused, collecting his thoughts: ''I feel so at ease when I'm with her. I want to believe that something could happen, but at the same time I don't want to hurt myself like last time.'' Donnie was confused. ''…. 'Like last time'? Leo, what are you talking about?'' The elder sighed, somehow looking defeated. ''… I've been with another woman before.'' The tall mutant was suprised at first. ''And you didn't tell us?'' he asked next. ''… What happened?'' He wanted to be angry at his brother for keeping such secret, but at the same time he started to fear the tale. Leo sat down, back against the wall, his eyes stuck to the ground. For the first time - at least that's how it seemed for Donnie - he looked ashamed, scared, unsure... The purple clad mutant joined his brother on the ground, waiting for him to speak. ''It happened in spring, two years ago. I was on a solo patrol and I saw those men run after this girl.... I didn't wait before jumping in, scaring them away. I thought I'd scare the girl too, which is somehow expected, but instead she rushed to me, crying and thanking me. … Those men were after her because she owed them money and at that moment she had none, she was in trouble.'' ''Why did she owe money?'' ''Because she was an escort. Those guys were some of her boss's lackeys or something like that and she had to give her share so they could provide her with their protection. … It was stupid, and dangerous...'' He sighed once more, passing a hand over his face, trying to clear his thoughts. ''… I wanted to go away, but she insisted on thanking me as I brought her back to her apartment. … She didn't want me to leave, scared that the guys would stumble at her place.'' Donnie showed half of a smile: ''I'm guessing that night took an interesting turn?'' Leo gave back that same smile. ''Indeed. … It felt like a dream. That dream lasted for five months until she disappeared. She said she had to leave town for her own safety. … She never contacted me since then.'' His expression came back to a neutral tone. ''I've never told anyone because everything about it was rather strange.... There was no real love involved; she only wanted me around for protection and sometimes she would invite me in her bed. … I wanted to believe I loved her at some point, but I couldn't bring myself to experience something you guys didn't.'' A sigh escaped him, somehow relieved to speak about all of this. ''When I saw you bring Vee here for the first time, I couldn't help feeling angry and scared. I didn't want you to experience the same shit I went through; to fall for someone and then watching them go away without any warning. … But as time went by, I came to get to know her better, seize how she really is and I knew you two were meant to be. … To see you two together, it kind of brings me hope.'' Donnie was silent, pensive. He would have never guessed such thing to have happened to his brother and somehow it also made sense? He could remember how Leo would often go on solo patrol and be secretive about some of his endeavours. … But never he would have known that it was because of some girl. ''… What was her name?'' dared ask Donatello. Leo half smiled: ''Rose. At least, that's what she wanted me to call her. I never got to know her real name. … She loved roses and her lips were always as red as one.'' He then left a hand on Donnie's shoulder, to emphasize his next words. ''… I would like if you didn't tell Raph and Mikey about this. I will tell them in time. It's just that... it somehow seemed easier to tell you first now that you experienced that feeling.'' ''Also I'm sure they would both freak out,'' lightly laughed Donnie. ''… Don't worry, Leo, your secret's safe with me.'' The leader nodded, satisfied. As both were heading out, the blue clad turtle did stop the other another time, slightly hesitating on his words. ''… Is there a way to know when the time is right? To know if she's the right person?'' A tender smile was now on Donnie's lips. He had wondered the same a few times before... ''First and foremost, you have to be friends. Talk and spend time together, that's the best way to go. Things will build up by themselves and the moment will come without both of you knowing. … As long as you respect eachother, the answer will come naturally.'' ''Ha, now that you voice it out, it does sound pretty obvious,'' chuckled Leo. ''… Thanks Donnie.'' ''Anytime.'' As they both went their ways, Donnie got to his room, carefully opening the door and peeking inside. He noticed Vee already asleep in his bed, tangled in the drapes. He had expected to find her this way, knowing the patrol had ended late. A small smile forever present on his features, he didn't wait to get inside, undressing and finally climbing next to the woman, tenderly wrapping his arms around her form. Vee woke up a bit, mumbling some words, but she was soon drifting back to sleep as she felt the other nuzzle and kiss her features. ''I love you so much,'' he murmured next, sighing against her skin. These words couldn't feel any truer right this moment. They were the absolute truth in fact, but only now did he really realize all the luck that had been bestowed upon him...

[gyrlversion]

British mum speaks of fear of Dubai jail for calling her ex an idiot

A British mother facing jail in Dubai over a three-year-old Facebook post says she is ‘frightened to death’ and feels ‘abandoned’ by Britain as she awaits her fate.

Laleh Shahravesh, 55, told MailOnline she has had ‘little help’ from consular officials in the UAE after her arrest almost a month ago. She is anxiously awaiting her court appearance later this week.

The single mother was arrested along with her 14-year-old daughter Paris when she arrived in the Arab kingdom for her ex-husband’s funeral last month.

She discovered that his second wife had complained about a disparaging social media post she had made in 2016, and she was held under Dubai’s strict cyber crime laws.

While her daughter was allowed to return home to Britain, Laleh was banned from leaving the country as her passport has been confiscated.

Lawyers have told the single mother she faces up to two years in jail and a fine of £50,000 when she appears in court later this week.

Laleh Sharavesh was arrested along with her 14-year-old daughter Paris when she arrived in the Arab kingdom for her ex’s funeral last month 

Laleh said she wrote two comments in Farsi where she described 42-year-old Tunisian born Samah al Hammadi as a ‘horse’ and called her ex an ‘idiot’

Laleh told MailOnline: ‘I am terrified. I can’t sleep or eat. I have gone down two dress sizes because of the stress.

‘And my daughter cries herself to sleep every night. We are so close, especially since her father left us and we only have each other. It breaks my heart to be kept apart from her’.

Her ordeal began on March 14 when Laleh and her daughter flew to Dubai’s for her ex husband Pedro’s funeral.

He died aged 51 from a heart attack on March 3 and Laleh and her daughter, from Richmond upon Thames, Surrey, wanted to pay their final respects.

Two years earlier after the Portugese banker had left her after 18 years of marriage for a younger woman she lashed out in anger on his Facebook page when she saw a photo of his new wife on their wedding day.

Laleh said she wrote two comments in Farsi where she described 42-year-old Tunisian born Samah al Hammadi as a ‘horse’ and called her ex an ‘idiot’.

As she made the Facebook post while living in the UK she thought nothing more about the comments.

She was unaware al Hammadi had complained to Dubai authorities where social media posts can be used in a prosecution. 

Her ordeal began on March 14 when Laleh and her daughter flew to Dubai’s for her ex husband Pedro’s funeral

Her husband and his new wife Samah Al Hammadi (pictured) were living in Dubai when the Facebook posts were made in October 2016 

Laleh said: ‘I had no idea he was getting married again, and so soon after our own marriage broke down.

‘I reacted badly. I lashed out and wrote two unpleasant comments about his new wife on his Facebook page.

‘I know shouldn’t have. I should have behaved better, but I felt angry, betrayed and hurt. After 18 years of marriage, such a small amount of time apart, he was getting married so quickly. He didn’t even have enough respect for me to tell me in advance’.

As soon as Laleh and her daughter landed in Dubai on March 10, intending to stay for five days, they were arrested at the airport.

Immigration authorities had an outstanding arrest warrant following the complaint made in 2017 about the Facebook post. 

The two offending posts were: ‘I hope you go under the ground you idiot. Damn you. You left me for this horse’ and ‘You married a horse you idiot’.

The terrified pair spent 12 hours in a police station and were not offered any food and hardly any water.

As soon as Laleh and her daughter landed in Dubai on March 10, intending to stay for five days, they were arrested at the airport

Laleh said she was offered a statement to sign in Arabic and the translation of the Facebook post bore no relation to what she had written.

The word ‘bitch’ had been substituted for the word ‘horse.’

Laleh was told she could not leave Dubai while she awaited a court hearing.

Her daughter was allowed to fly home and is desperately missing her mother while she stays with friends.

Laleh lived in Dubai for eight months with her husband after he landed a job with the HSBC bank.

She returned home with their daughter expecting her husband to return after he completed his work commitments.

But she later discovered he had begun a relationship with another woman and filed for divorce after 18 years.

Laleh said she had no idea her husband planned to marry so soon after their split.

Her husband and his new wife Samah Al Hammadi were living in Dubai when the Facebook posts were made in October 2016.

Laleh said she has lost her job at a homeless shelter due to her absence and now faces losing her home as she has racked £5,000 in debt while being forced to stay in Dubai.

She said: ‘I have lost everything because of this.

Laleh said she has lost her job at a homeless shelter due to her absence and now faces losing her home as she has racked £5,000 in debt while being forced to stay in Dubai

‘I have no money left after paying to stay in a hotel here for over a month. I have lost my job and am unable to pay for rent on the flat I live in with Paris, because of this we are about to lose the flat.

‘I am even in debt to my family for over £5,000. My life is in ruins, and that is even before the huge fines and jail I am facing here. All of that is less important than being separated from my daughter, and that’s all I want now, just to be back with her’.

Laleh’s sister Laden said the family appealed to the British Embassy for help but were told they could not intervene.

She said: ‘All they did was recommend her an expensive list of lawyers. When Laleh told them she can’t afford to stay in even a cheap hotel while she waits and is in danger of becoming homeless in Dubai, the FCO staff just told her she should “find someone to borrow money from”.’

Radha Stirling, CEO of human rights organisation Detained In Dubai is officially representing Laleh.

She said: ‘I have spoken with Laleh, her mother, sisters and daughter Paris. Their experience is heartbreaking.

‘Not only has Paris lost her father, but in going to visit him to say her final goodbye, she wound up in a frightening Middle Eastern police station, and is now without her mother.

‘Every family member was teary and it was very emotional to speak with all of them. They are all extremely damaged by what has happened and I expect it will be a long and psychological recovery process for them.

‘Paris is writing a letter to Sheikh Mohammed, the ruler of Dubai and Prime Minister of the UAE to appeal for her mother’s release. I also call on Sheikh Mohammed to ensure Laleh is swiftly reunited with her daughter in London and to review the content and application of the UAE’s cybercrime laws. I also call on Laleh’s MP Zac Goldsmith and Jeremy Hunt to enter into diplomatic discussions with the UAE to ensure Laleh’s safe return.

‘It is simply unreasonable that a country wishing to attract Western tourism arrests and charges a woman for a Facebook post made years ago from outside of the UAE’s jurisdiction. 

‘The post would never be prosecuted as a criminal offence in England, and if the UAE intends to detain tourists for posts made from England, it will find itself rendered a no go zone to foreigners.’

Sterling said the UAE have draconian cyber crime laws that can be enforced at any time.

‘The UAE is the most likely place for British nationals to be arrested abroad and the Cybercrime laws have potentially rendered almost every visitor a criminal. 

‘The laws are enforced arbitrarily, which leads to even greater confusion over what is or isn’t a crime.

‘I have warned the British Foreign and Commonwealth Office that their advice to tourists is insufficient. 

‘When the UAE introduced Cybercrime laws, it rendered almost every visitor to the country a criminal. 

‘Visitors to Dubai are rightfully unaware that they could be jailed for a Facebook or Twitter post made from outside the jurisdiction of the UAE, and made years ago. 

The UAE’s cybercrime laws apply extraterritorially and retroactively. The Cybercrime laws prohibit sharing charities online such as Amnesty international, they prohibit fundraising, sharing photos taken in public, for example that includes a vehicle or other people. 

‘The laws further forbid anything ‘defamatory’ against the UAE and this can even include the reporting of a news article and further prohibit the use of a VPN.’ 

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[gyrlversion]

British mother faces jail in Dubai after calling ex-husband idiot

A British mum faces being jailed in Dubai over a disparaging Facebook post she made two years ago about her ex-husband’s new wife.

Laleh Sharavesh was arrested along with her 14-year-old daughter Paris when she arrived in the Arab kingdom for her ex’s funeral last month.

She discovered her ex-husband’s second wife had complained about the social media post from 2016 and Laleh was held under Dubai’s strict cyber crime laws.

Laleh Sharavesh was arrested along with her 14-year-old daughter Paris when she arrived in the Arab kingdom for her ex’s funeral last month 

While her 14-year-old daughter was allowed to return home to Britain, Laleh, 55, has been banned from leaving the country as her passport has been confiscated.

Lawyers have told the single mum she faces up to two years in jail and a fine of £50,000 when she appears in court later this week.

Laleh told Mail Online: ‘I am terrified. I can’t sleep or eat. I have gone down two dress sizes because of the stress.

Laleh said she wrote two comments in Farsi where she described 42-year-old Tunisian born Samah al Hammadi as a ‘horse’ and called her ex an ‘idiot’

‘And my daughter cries herself to sleep every night. We are so close, especially since her father left us and we only have each other. It breaks my heart to be kept apart from her’.

Her ordeal began on March 14 when Laleh and her daughter flew to Dubai’s for her ex husband Pedro’s funeral.

He died aged 51 from a heart attack on March 3 and Laleh and her daughter, from Richmond upon Thames, Surrey, wanted to pay their final respects.

Her ordeal began on March 14 when Laleh and her daughter flew to Dubai’s for her ex husband Pedro’s funeral

Her husband and his new wife Samah Al Hammadi (pictured) were living in Dubai when the Facebook posts were made in October 2016 

Two years earlier after the Portugese banker had left her after 18 years of marriage for a younger woman she lashed out in anger on his Facebook page when she saw a photo of his new wife on their wedding day.

Laleh said she wrote two comments in Farsi where she described 42-year-old Tunisian born Samah al Hammadi as a ‘horse’ and called her ex an ‘idiot’.

As she made the Facebook post while living in the UK she thought nothing more about the comments.

She was unaware al Hammadi had complained to Dubai authorities where social media posts can be used in a prosecution. 

As soon as Laleh and her daughter landed in Dubai on March 10, intending to stay for five days, they were arrested at the airport

Laleh said: ‘I had no idea he was getting married again, and so soon after our own marriage broke down.

‘I reacted badly. I lashed out and wrote two unpleasant comments about his new wife on his Facebook page.

‘I know shouldn’t have. I should have behaved better, but I felt angry, betrayed and hurt. After 18 years of marriage, such a small amount of time apart, he was getting married so quickly. He didn’t even have enough respect for me to tell me in advance’.

As soon as Laleh and her daughter landed in Dubai on March 10, intending to stay for five days, they were arrested at the airport.

Immigration authorities had an outstanding arrest warrant following the complaint made in 2017 about the Facebook post. 

The two offending posts were: ‘I hope you go under the ground you idiot. Damn you. You left me for this horse’ and ‘You married a horse you idiot’.

The terrified pair spent 12 hours in a police station and were not offered any food and hardly any water.

Laleh said she was offered a statement to sign in Arabic and the translation of the Facebook post bore no relation to what she had written.

The word ‘bitch’ had been substituted for the word ‘horse.’

Laleh was told she could not leave Dubai while she awaited a court hearing.

Her daughter was allowed to fly home and is desperately missing her mother while she stays with friends.

Laleh lived in Dubai for eight months with her husband after he landed a job with the HSBC bank.

She returned home with their daughter expecting her husband to return after he completed his work commitments.

But she later discovered he had begun a relationship with another woman and filed for divorce after 18 years.

Laleh said she had no idea her husband planned to marry so soon after their split.

Her husband and his new wife Samah Al Hammadi were living in Dubai when the Facebook posts were made in October 2016.

Laleh said she has lost her job at a homeless shelter due to her absence and now faces losing her home as she has racked £5,000 in debt while being forced to stay in Dubai.

She said: ‘I have lost everything because of this.

Laleh said she has lost her job at a homeless shelter due to her absence and now faces losing her home as she has racked £5,000 in debt while being forced to stay in Dubai

‘I have no money left after paying to stay in a hotel here for over a month. I have lost my job and am unable to pay for rent on the flat I live in with Paris, because of this we are about to lose the flat.

‘I am even in debt to my family for over £5,000. My life is in ruins, and that is even before the huge fines and jail I am facing here. All of that is less important than being separated from my daughter, and that’s all I want now, just to be back with her’.

Laleh’s sister Laden said the family appealed to the British Embassy for help but were told they could not intervene.

She said: ‘All they did was recommend her an expensive list of lawyers. When Laleh told them she can’t afford to stay in even a cheap hotel while she waits and is in danger of becoming homeless in Dubai, the FCO staff just told her she should “find someone to borrow money from”.’

Radha Stirling, CEO of human rights organisation Detained In Dubai is officially representing Laleh.

She said: ‘I have spoken with Laleh, her mother, sisters and daughter Paris. Their experience is heartbreaking.

‘Not only has Paris lost her father, but in going to visit him to say her final goodbye, she wound up in a frightening Middle Eastern police station, and is now without her mother.

‘Every family member was teary and it was very emotional to speak with all of them. They are all extremely damaged by what has happened and I expect it will be a long and psychological recovery process for them.

‘Paris is writing a letter to Sheikh Mohammed, the ruler of Dubai and Prime Minister of the UAE to appeal for her mother’s release. I also call on Sheikh Mohammed to ensure Laleh is swiftly reunited with her daughter in London and to review the content and application of the UAE’s cybercrime laws. I also call on Laleh’s MP Zac Goldsmith and Jeremy Hunt to enter into diplomatic discussions with the UAE to ensure Laleh’s safe return.

‘It is simply unreasonable that a country wishing to attract Western tourism arrests and charges a woman for a Facebook post made years ago from outside of the UAE’s jurisdiction. 

‘The post would never be prosecuted as a criminal offence in England, and if the UAE intends to detain tourists for posts made from England, it will find itself rendered a no go zone to foreigners.’

Sterling said the UAE have draconian cyber crime laws that can be enforced at any time.

‘The UAE is the most likely place for British nationals to be arrested abroad and the Cybercrime laws have potentially rendered almost every visitor a criminal. 

‘The laws are enforced arbitrarily, which leads to even greater confusion over what is or isn’t a crime.

‘I have warned the British Foreign and Commonwealth Office that their advice to tourists is insufficient. 

‘When the UAE introduced Cybercrime laws, it rendered almost every visitor to the country a criminal. 

‘Visitors to Dubai are rightfully unaware that they could be jailed for a Facebook or Twitter post made from outside the jurisdiction of the UAE, and made years ago. 

The UAE’s cybercrime laws apply extraterritorially and retroactively. The Cybercrime laws prohibit sharing charities online such as Amnesty international, they prohibit fundraising, sharing photos taken in public, for example that includes a vehicle or other people. 

‘The laws further forbid anything ‘defamatory’ against the UAE and this can even include the reporting of a news article and further prohibit the use of a VPN.’ 

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