#friend i hope u know i’m gonna keep reading and rereading this one for a long time haha

[padfootastic]

I just finished your foundations of decay fic and oh my god I enjoyed it so much. I love the way you write Harry, he's smart and angsty, rightfully so, he explodes on people or either he holds back when he realizes that's not a rational option. The way he's so protective over Sirius is just so ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

And Sirius's characterization too? He's so protective of Harry and the claim he has on him?? I love his bonding moments with Harry. The scene where he tells Harry James and him bought toys for harry?? Omg yuck ew emotions, it had me in the feels. That was such a deep casual prongsfoot moment too?? The implications?? They didn't buy their own forms but eachother??

And their interactions aren't something I usually see, like wow, this is probably how Sirius and Harry would've interacted if he wasn't locked away for years. They are so close and my heart is just so full??

I have nothing to ask but your fic is just literal perfection, you have to know this.

omg i’ve just been sitting on your ask for a couple days bc it’s so overwhelming to hear something so nice and kind and lovely and just!!!!

thank you so much 🥺🥺 every time someone tells me they love FoD, it just makes me SO giddy because i’ve put so much thought and love and intention in it and it gets to me that others enjoy that. and the fact that it’s the sirius & harry bits that really stand out to you means even more because those two and their relationship is essentially the entire reason i started this fic ykno? it might’ve grown a bit out of control but at its core, it is a sirius & harry fic. it’s so incredibly self indulgent. thank you so much, really, for loving it sm.

and yes!!! the prongsfoot implications are strong in this one haha i refuse to believe a universe exists where those two haven’t done….something with each other. and even if they’re not physical, the amount of emotional intimacy they have is reason enough to call it some kind of a relationship lol

once again, i am so so so glad you like it. i absolutely live for comments like yours because it tells me i’m going on the right path 🫡

[crguang]

haven’t read kafka’s voice lines in a minute, but I just reread them, and like I need to know more. like her being a devil hunter. why were there devils on her planet in the first place, was it bc of the stellar on or just like smth else. why’d she become one. and it was always interesting to me that it seems like she kind of didn’t like her home planet, obviously she could be lying. ig she wasn’t that close to her family and she probably didn’t have friends bc she’s a loser and isn’t good at connecting w people. And I’m curious abt where and when she started saying "When making friends with someone, keep the right distance, in order to maintain a long-lasting relationship." and firefly thinks she doesn’t believe that? if Kafka didn’t care abt anyone on her home planet ig that would make sense? idk hsjjghsh I’m not coherent enough but I need more Kafka. I do wonder abt how people who can’t feel fear yk survive and all, but idk. Her sea voice like is also interesting like why was that such a personal place?

Also my fighter between the two kafcats os probably the happy one bc she’s just so cute…I want to a symphony a few days ago and I couldn’t stop thinking abt Kafka, like violin=kafka for me. She def would liked it, trust me. On a side note, do u think she’d be concert master? it’s like the best (violin I think) player and everyone tunes to them bc, and they usually get all the violin solos.

and I’m gonna have to clear out some stuff bc I don’t have enough storage for ptn…don’t ask. I know I’ll like it bc women, ugh I should just get more storage.

less than 24 hours til the banners come out im actually terrified, but umm we’ll see. And I have a quiz ig but you def got me covered fr (didn’t know you take comp too)

-🌠

now that ive read AND listened to her voice lines i find it curious that she seems to have a bit of nostalgia in her tone when talking about the destruction of her planet. like you can tell whenever she has a smile on her face as she says certain lines and she’s always so playful (spent a whole hour just listening to her yesterday im ill) but this line was one of the serious-ish ones. she could be acting all mysterious on purpose but i guess we won’t know until more info comes out…. i really wonder if she had friends or something before because she says she rarely ever saw the same person twice due to her work.

THE SEA VOICE LINE. HELLO. WAS NO ONE GOING TO TELL ME HOW EXCITED SHE GETS?! THE CUTE EMPHASIS ON “fiercest”?!?!?! YOU ALLLLL FAILED ME. she speaks so genuinely as if reminiscing that place then she composes herself after a pause… wow. my baby. she’s so cute 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

i also go violin = kafka and omgg going to a symphony sounds so nice i hope u had a great time. straight up unbiased thoughts i think she would get the solos because she seems really rigorous in her practice of the violin despite having a very unstable job. she doesn’t strike me as the type to go for easy to play pieces either, especially when you consider what kind of music she’d like. so she’d work for that solo!!

hope your pulls went well i thought i was gonna be devastated if she came at hard pity but turns out im too happy that shes home at all🥹

[chihirolovebot]

okay okay prepare for my ranting but OHHHHHHHHHMYGOD i just love your writing so so much.

you just AHSHSTGGFF ARE SOOOOO GOOD AT GETTING THE READER HOOKED. I SWEAR . ITS UNREAL.

no joke . i’ve reread sleep awake probably about 4 times now. it has been on my mind for the past month. send help .

I LOVE LOVE LOVE physicist’s relationship dynamics with the rest of the cast. thank goodness we’re not isolated with kokichi the whole story. ohmygod. i think i’d die.

i feel like . phys could really do with a massive cry in rantaro’s arms. he became a brotherly figure so quickly for them and AUGHHHthey make me so upset. him preventing a meltdown too?? WAAAAAHHH … gotta love him for that. hopefully we’ll get to see more of him in here is where my body lies .

SPEAKING OF THAT. i’m looking forward to seeing the bad endings / alternate universes in it. like … if kirumi killed phys. or korekiyo succeeded in killing phys. or …if kokichi didn’t walk in when gonta attempted to kill phys . ohmygod. phys almost died a lot. i hope we get to see how everyone reacts. ANYWAY i can’t wait to see phys and the others be happy. what the hell. i need this in my life.

back to friendship dynamics….the trio recently formed by BELIEVING in phys??? is just AUGHHHHH SO SO CUTE. THEY HAVE MY HEART. I WANNA GIVE THEM ALL A HUG.

and…with the main man himself …. WOW. just. WOW. their dynamic is everything. they make me wanna cry. they are married. they are divorced. they are nerds. they are losers. they are. my everything. they are

“And yet—this deal he’d made you. That was trust, naked and unmistakable. That was far more than he’d offered anybody else. Everything else aside, Kokichi trusted you. Wasn’t that enough? 

If the small pit in your stomach was anything to go by—no, it wasn’t. And you didn’t know why”

WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH THEY JUST MAKE ME SICK. SO SICK. i’m really curious how phys will react to kokichi’s plan for *you know what* or that he’ll just keep them in the dark. again. because he knows they wouldn’t let him? I DONT KNOW. whatever it is. i’m not ready for it.

despite the tears that i’m gonna shed in the future ……..IM EXCITED TO SEE THE NEXT CHAPTERS PLAY OUT. im looking forward to the changes you’re gonna make in chapter 6. really curious what that’s gonna be .

you’ve captured kokichi’s character to a tee and i can’t get enough of it i swear .

i love that phys has autism too. like. if it isn’t completely obvious by now. so do i and it’s just. wow. THEY R JUST LIKE ME!!!!

also. i’m very excited to see where you take that persona 5 fic. wink wink.

ANYWAYS LOVE YOU FOR THIS. THIS IS THE BEST FIC I’VE READ EVER . I COULD GO ON AND ON ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE IT. GOODBYE .

HELLO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELLO .

ur so kind this is like. one of the sweetest asks ive ever received i was pacing all day and im just answering now because i wanted to have the time to write out a thoughtful response because ohhghgh my god u made my absolute week with this thank you SO much my angel !!!!!

starting this story it was so important to me that like . phys has Other Friends. i think i mentioned this before but i think a big part of the story is that Ouma's mindset is wrong and unhealthy which is definitely starting to be examined this late in the story and like. the way he goes about doing stuff is definitely (mostly) well-intentioned but his mindset and philosophies are so Off and Wrong that i think ONLY having his mindset to influence Phys would a) ensure that phys only develops in a way that makes them more like him, which is NOT good because his mindset is wrong and unhealthy, and b) would make them extremely lonely when that isnt what i want the story to be about. if i COULD i would go back and give them some more interaction with momota because he's ouma's foil character, but i like him giving phys advice and phys taking on bits of his philosphy, too. they basically take an amalgamation of their friends' perspectives and learn to have a healthier outlook that way. so yeah . its super important for phys to have friends, especially optimistic ones like momota, kiibo and chabashira .

MY BODY LIES!!!! i haven't forgotten about this, just planning on properly starting it after i finish sleep awake's main story because between that , my p5 fic, and my jojo fic its kind of A Lot. but amami will DEFINITELY be a prominent character in it because i love his and phys's relationship so much. i tried to stretch it as much as possible in the original story before i knew i had to kill him off :(( and YEAH so i think a bad ending will be the first chapter which will probably be if shinguuji succeeded in his murder attempt , mostly focusing on the aftermath and the effect it has on the rest of the characters which . was pretty heavy for a first chapter so i may make it the second instead lmao.

I CANT SAY MUCH ABT FUTURE STUFF but i CAN say that some of ch5 and a fair amount of ch6 will be different and im super excited to show you what i have in store for it !!! the tone i'm going for is bittersweet so . hopefully that tides you over for a bit :3

the new trio... the phys apostles as i'm calling them. they're so silly to me. something about each of them knowing phys in very unique ways . kiibo seeing phys as soon as they woke up and always being the first to believe in them , chabashira seeing phys after they killed shinguuji and being the only person to see that side of them, and saihara being a sort of mirror to phys's grief in the early chapters after they both lost the most important person to them ( at that time ). i thought it made sense that they would all be a little more reluctant to believe that phys had been totally brainwashed because they all have a lot more respect for them than that , and also just . know them better as a person than the others , who are definitely still well-intentioned , just ignorant.

ouma... my little freakweirdo bf . characterising him is such a challenge but im so so happy you enjoy how i've done it !!!! physouma's dynamic is my favourite i've ever written in anything, i think . it's exactly like you said !!! they're constantly on this weird emotional journey where phys is attempting to get closer and ouma is attempting to distance himself but its not working because they both care about each other so much and like. yeah . they make me a bit insane too . writing phys slowly discovering their feelings has been super fun too . i usually dislike the oblivious love interest trope because more often than not it feels like it's played for miscommunication problems BUT i feel like with ouma it only makes sense because like . its impossible to know where you stand with ouma even if he straight-up says 'im in love with you' you'd just be like ?? yeah ok buddy sure. good one . you got me.

autistic phys is so real to me as i obviously also have autism and . i was projecting super hard when i created them teehee. THE PERSONA FIC !!!! i know its been a while since i updated but i AM working on the next chapter its definitely not abandoned :3

THANK U AGAIN SO SOSOSOS MUCH FOR THIS . I HOPE UR HAVING THE BEST DAY EVER <333

[mochiwrites]

hi back again mochi i need you to know how unequivocally ill ur like an arrow you shoot me down fic (does this have an abbreviation? im just gonna say the arrow fic) is making me dawg. like ive began interpreting some of the writing into my own writing and using some of the formatting as well!! not even just that i got my best friend n one of my other friends to read it too. AND IM REREADING IT AGAIN LIKE DAWG THE HYPERFIXATION IS WINNINGGGG

so so soooo excited for the next chapter, keep up the amazing work 🫶🫶🫶💕💕💕

(ps based from my last ask.. if ur still interested in some of my thoughts lmk n i’ll sneak in an ask thats just info dumping or i’ll dm u :3)

((psps they’re all angst fair warning))

(((pspsps this is literally me eating ur writing up V )))

welcome back !! :D

dnfnfnfbfb I’m glad you’re enjoying the fic so much :3 and uwahhh??? I hope they like it ;w;

( also. sweats. what exactly do you mean by “interpreting” some of my writing into yours? and uh. using the formatting

and yes!! I always enjoy seeing other people’s thoughts :3

[princecosmosanon]

(i'm a different anon btw)

Haha! Zuko is already super jealous of the other characters Sokka hangs around. ;3 He definitely has his reasons for hanging back though. Hopefully you’ll get to know what they are sooner rather than later??

WHATTTT? he's jealous?? sorry but like THE AUDACITY! like he had ~ a week off ~ to spend time alone with sokka but he didn't even bother to show up and now sokka gets to spend some time with new friends and meet new people because of his new job as a consort and he's jealous?? if you're so jealous then go to your room at night.. bruh

you know how we say "he would not fucking say that" about fanfiction sometimes? your sokka is soo different than his canon counterpart but i always think you got his core personality so well. i'm like ohhh he would do that yeah.

could i ask you about other characters? we know katara's at home (god i recently reread the first chapters and her anger is so heart wrenching. she just loves her brother so much i hope they get to reunite in the flesh). aang is still in the ice i suppose. i hope katara's anger at the fire nation for taking one of her loved ones again breaks him free so he can give our girl a bison ride to caldera to see her brother. hope this doesn't come across as rude or telling u what to do but i think it would be hilarious to read toph in this setting. though i don't think they'd have time to be friends in this story. still i'd like her to give zuko a hard earthbending style slap (oh i know i'm gonna regret lashing at zuko i know... but for now he's a lil bitch). yue is alive, hopefully? so... not gonna lie i hope we get to see one or two people falling for our sokka so zuko can be more jealous lmao i need zuko to realize that sokka's a cute magnet for cute people (now i'm not suggesting cheating. that's awful haha... unless 👀👀)

thank you so much for sharing your work with us i'm so in love with it that i reread it aaaaaaaaalllllllll the time krhjdx

i hope life gets less busy so you get to rest and enjoy yourself. writing can wait you're more important, if you feel obligated to write (i know i do when it comes to my writing) take your time please we're here whenever you want to update 💗 i know i won't give up on this story and i'm sure others won't too.

have a nice day king 👑

Whoa, I am soooo late to responding to this!! I apologize! It came into my inbox around when my boss first went on paternity leave and work was exploding around me :x

But LMAO yeah, Zuko is very audacious in this fic. He has a very inflated idea of what’s “right” and “wrong” and for good reason! But it seriously does not mesh with Sokka’s.

Lol I’m glad you like my Sokka interpretation! <3 Part of why it works in Hearts on the Mend is due to it being a non-canon universe. Sokka is older, he’s wiser, he can keep his mouth shut a little easier, but he’s prolly at least 20% more petty than his canon counterpart. He’s mastered passive-aggressive sibling slights and he’s turning that knowledge on Zuko, all guns blazing. - That’s basically why I write him like I do. I find it easier than sassy child Sokka. I’m personally not as good as he is with snappy comebacks, but I can write petty well enough.

Regarding other characters… (spoilers hidden for those who want to not see them)

Katara will indeed see Sokka again in this fic! You can bet Zuko doesn’t get away from her wrath forever. ;)

Aang will also appear in this fic at some point! :3c any more spoilers with him would be telling, tho…

Toph… I haven’t considered in *this* fic, I’ll be honest. She may appear in the sequel fic I plan to write (yes, I already have plans to write more for these characters in this particular setting) but she’s tabled for now.

And does Sokka get more love interests??? Will cheating be involved?!?!? Who can say… no, lol, actually this fic won’t have Sokka cheat on Zuko. He’s not going to put his tribe into jeopardy for his own libido or comfort. But he might have some longing later…!

Thank you again for reading my fic. It’s a lovely story and I want to keep it going. It’s definitely not dead in the water until I say it is, and I do feel like I’ll get back to writing soon. I just can’t say for sure because I’m all scattered still.

Thank you again and again and again! Love and peace,

~Prince Cosmos Anon

[honey-tea-and-lemon-trees]

7, 14, 35

PS hope your evening turns around 🩷🩷

thank you winter <3

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

oh man that is a tough question!!! i always liked creative writing when i was in school but worried that i wasn’t very good at it (like i did with everything, was deeply insecure lmao). but i like creating things! and writing is one of the ways that i get to do that! i like when i get an idea in fragments and obsess over it a little bit until it takes shape, i like when i read it and am proud!!! i love sharing my writing and finding out, woah!!! other people like this!!! that would be a cool thing to tell teenaged me who thought she sucked, i guess.

14. Do you lend your books to people? Are people scared to borrow books from you? Do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? Will you ever get them back?

i very rarely lend books to anyone, bc i am psychotic about keeping them neat and pretty lol. controversial i know!!! but i think if you love something you treat it well and treasure it, and i cannot cope with cracked spines or bent pages lmao. the only person i lend books to is my sister and the last one she borrowed she had for too long without starting it so i lied and said i wanted to reread it so could i please have it back bc it was making me paranoid lmao. she currently has another one of mine. i’m thinking about it a normal amount, for sure…

35. What’s your favourite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

i don’t care for grammar!!!! sometimes that’s just not how we talk, in perfectly formulated sentences, so sometimes i’m not gonna prose like that either!!!

one of my favourite lines i’ve written is: ‘She wants to fall in love with him a little more and a little more and for him to know about it.’ there are more than the allotted ands in that sentence, it probably needs a comma but hey - it flows when i read it and that’s how i want it.

also. i don’t care if i’m writing a fic in an american setting. you can pry my u’s from my cold dead hands. yes i changed the spelling of favourite in this question.

my evening sucks so pls ask me one of these dumb questions bc this was fun or just talk to me about anything else !!!!

[1d1195]

a couple years back i made a playlist called ‘songs i want played at my funeral’ and it was just songs i was really into at the moment but my mom somehow saw it and she was maaaaddddd😂 NO I GET IT THERE ARE JUST SOME SONGS THAT WHEN YOU HEAR THEM AT A WEDDING ITS LIKE YOUR HEART STOPS WORKING IDK WHAT THAT IS

went out with my oldest brother to run some errands today and i made us listen to 1D in the car nwbdjejwh it’s a hit with everyone, no matter who they are, he had the time of his life even if he would never admit it🤣

i’m glad you liked it !! i sat down and really listened to the lyrics and it was just so cute and sweet

hidden writer is so real of you lol. you’re literally changing lives out here and then living a normal life behind the screen, humble queen🙂‍↕️ you’re like our super hero (i laughed at u telling him u took a writing class when you didn’t just as an excuse, you’re so funny for that) i think it’s really therapeutic to have something just for yourself like this, idk but i really like to keep things to myself, as much as i love my family and friends and all that. even if it’s something small (or a hit tumblr blog in your case)

I LOVE NORMAL PEOPLE !!!!! i bought the book a couple of years ago when i was traveling and one time my sister picked it up and was like “i couldn’t even get past the first few pages, it was too confusing!” 😭😭 not for everyone i guess, but i really enjoyed both the book and the show.

SAW THAT YOU LIKE MADELINE MILLER AND GREEK MYTH STUFF ??? TWIN !!!! i read the song of achilles and jwhdidjwhaks i was in LOVE with it, ive been meaning to get to circe for soooo long but idk i just haven’t, gonna get that one on the next bookstore trip hopefully 🤞

i got Love & Other Words, The Book of Goose (saw something abt this online, super psyched for it), A Certain Hunger (cannibalism i think?? fun!!😃), and a Mary Oliver poetry book !! i have this obsession with reading deep, serious, (sometimes dark n sad) books because the writing is just sooooooo good !!! and i just always go back to them, they’re my favorites, but ive realized i have to balance that out with a cute, soft, easygoing romance afterwards cause i can only handle so much😭😭 even if it’s just a cute fic i need to remind myself there’s still happiness somewhere🤣🤣

HOPE YOUR HAVE THE GREATEST DAY EVER SAMMMM MWAHHH😚✨

~🎶

THAT'S SO FUNNY regarding the funeral playlist 😭😭

OF COURSE HE HAD THE TIME OF HIS LIFE. I do that to my bf all the time. I tell him "this song is a bop. Do you remember who wrote all the bops?" And he'll be like *sigh* "Louis..." it's my favorite thing in the world. He doesn't need to admit he had a good time, it's an internal thing that he needs to feel and nothing more 💕 ask him what his favorite song was and report back. I have my bf take 1D quizzes from Buzzfeed all the time 😂

I never thought about how much I keep from him and other people I love, but really it's just this blog. A HIT 😭😭 You're so sweet 💕

I LOVE Greek Myth stuff. I've read Elektra, Galatea (short story by Madeline Miller, didn't love it tbh, but anyway), Ariadne (Theseus is a D-BAG idk why I was surprised but still), I also have A Thousand Ships on my shelf as well as Pandora's Jar (which is actually looking more like a book describing all the greek myths in terms of why men suck and women get blamed for it anyway). I liked Circe more I think--been a while since I read it so I don't remember why, but I did. SO good.

PLEASE tell me what you think of Love & Other Words. I just got it back from my sister, I was rereading parts of it--it is my favorite of theirs so far 💕

I'm intrigued by The Book of Goose! Let me know what you think! I think I would skip A Certain Hunger personally, but I can't say it didn't reel me in a little. That's cool you picked up a poetry book. I'm not very into poetry--I think my brain is broken for higher order thinking. I can only do fluffy stories these days and historical fiction. But yeah. I think that's pretty cool you like the deep serious stuff! Nothing wrong with that! It's probably very thought provoking and I can't wait to hear your reviews! 💕

LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

xoxo

[onwriting-hrarby]

Hi hope you’ve been doing well !

I still can’t get over this last chapter I love this story so much , I cried over it

I don’t know what to say definitely gonna reread this story again sometime it’s literally been a whole journey and it was worth it that ending and the fact that u had it in mind since the beginning is just amazing, I wanna know ur thinking and writing process during that last scene , the protest and the birth scene playing simultaneously and the way u wrote it was just perfect , how u captured all that chaos , I was literally on the edge of my seat reading it ur writing making me feel many emotions all at once I don’t know how u do that

I started reading this story mainly for EM not really thinking much since it was the first work of urs that I stumbled upon but I was wrong , the way u treat various subjects , how u did every single character justice and wrote about their struggles , if I could write an essay about this masterpiece of a story and how it deserves all the recognition i totally would but this is when I curse my limited English vocabulary, also the fact that u have such dedication and how every time u deliver a 20 pages chapter for each update with the outmost of perfection is worth talking about , no wonder this process must have been stressful , yet u still outdid ur self every time and wrote the best ending for this story can’t imagine it any other way .

I’m so glad that I stumbled upon RJ it’s been a long time and I can’t believe that it’s over ,this story left me with a book hangover and a void I don’t know how to fill , nonetheless I’m glad I found it and even though we won’t get new updates anymore who knows it might be ur novel that I read next in which I wish you the best of luck with and for ur original writing as well , I know it will be outstanding and I will definitely read it if u choose to share it with us , u deserve all the recognition , success and happiness in the world , I can’t thank you enough for your contribution and for choosing EM out of all the fandoms in the world to bless with ur mesmerizing writing and presence, thank you so much dear , and take care of yourself 💜

:')))))) Thank you SO MUCH for commenting and coming to my inbox!

About the ending, I'm actually thinking of doing a post about how I conceived it! Because I had it thought in the beginning and the last sentence changed over time, I think it would be interesting to talk about it, but at the same time I don't want to give a lot away because I really like the idea of how I did it hehehe I'll just talk, in the post, about how I came to the ending and decided to change the sentence, but for you: everything in the ending was pointed out to make you breathless as a reader, so it was important to maintain the rhythm, hence I relied a lot on the different chunks and sizes of the paragraphs. The last chapter has four parts: the Eren/Mikasa resolution, Levi/Erwin breakfast, Friends gathering/Deciding what to do, Protest/Birth. In those four parts, only the first two are "traditional" narrative. The third relies on the bodies and the plurals, and the fourth relies on the difference of rhythm... (Well, maybe I'll do a post, yes!).

...I am almost tearful about what you say in delivering pages and following the story through. It's been stressful sometimes, but god, I absolutely love writing. And there was also a sense of reward every time I got a comment. So I didn't write for the reader, but I definitely knew that even if I got one comment or one kudo more I would be happy. If I didn't, I would have been happy anyways—some chapters more than others, because I'm prouder of some of them—but I think the beautiful thing about fanfiction is interaction, so whenever I felt strained, I decided to keep on pushing.

BOOK HANGOVER??????? that's... amaziinngggg! if you want to read a very good book, give "Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow" by Gabrielle Zevin a try. I have not felt that compelled by a book in a LONG time!

Thank you for the great well-wishes :') I am floored by your comment. I love it. Thank you, and you take care of yourself too!

[rkived]

year 22 (m) — jjk

‘‘I knew you’d be standing in my front porch light, and I knew you’d come back to me.’‘ 

Pairing: childhoodfriend!jk x f!reader 

Genre/Tags: angst!!!, drama, a lil fluff, f2l, e2l-ish, pining, slow burn, smut

Rating: M +18

WC: 11.5k

Warnings: time jumps, underage drinking, jk being a douchebag for most of the fic, reader can’t catch a mf break, mention of character death ((no major one tho)). smut in the form of oral (f. receiving), fingering, nipple play, unprotected sex ((wrap it b4 u tap it y’all)), my being called pretty kink making a brief appearance soz

A/N: i listened to cardigan for the first time n had it on replay the whole time i wrote this so ig u should do it too ! this is my first time posting smut on here but who would i be if i didn’t throw in some good angst ? also tysm to @periminkle​ for being my unofficial beta reader n checking it up for me, she knows i’m constantly looking for her validation n i def wouldn’t post this if she didn’t love it ilu vira thx for being the best ever mwah !!! 

You’re five, cowering behind his mother’s legs, sniffing as tears stream down your face. In front of you both stands Jungkook, there’s remorse written all over his face as his mother stares him down with hands on her hips and a look that just screams that this is only the beginning of his punishment. 

‘’Apologize to Y/N right now Jungkook, or I’ll have your father have a word with you,’’ she threatens with a stern tone, making her son quickly shake his head no. ‘‘You need to learn how to share your toys.’’ 

You peek behind her lanky leg and find the slightly older kid looking at you with narrowed eyes, ‘‘I’m sorry, Y/N.’’ He apologizes with a bow, but he’s obviously displeased with the whole ordeal. 

His mother sighs and Jungkook pouts at the look on her face. She urges you to come out from your not-so-secret hiding spot and to go back to playing with him, even though you seriously doubt that will do any good to what just happened. 

Jungkook’s bedroom door is kept open as he sits back down on his city patterned carpet, you twiddle with your thumbs and stare at the Spiderman poster on his wall. There’s an awkward silence between you two until you feel a toy bump your crisscrossed legs. 

It’s the shiny red car he had refused to lend you before, provoking an argument between you two which eventually made you run out of his room in tears as you ratted him out to his mom. 

‘‘Wooow,’’ you whisper in awe, taking the car in your hands with so much care, treating it like it’s one of your newest dolls. 

Jungkook huffs, crossing his arms as he looks at you with distaste and he’s forced to settle with other boring toys as you giggle to yourself, making the car follow the carpet’s tracks. He learns then to never trust his mother again. If she ever says she’ll bring a new friend for him to play with again, he’ll refuse wholeheartedly.

He doesn’t like sharing his toys, and it’ll probably take him a long time to learn how to.

You’re nine as you hand Jungkook one of the multiple Valentine’s Day cards you carefully crafted the night before with your mother, adding all kinds of pretty stickers and shiny glitter to make each one of them unique. His is different from the rest, though. 

You added hearts to the dots in the I’s, there’s a hint of your favorite body splash enveloping the pink construction paper and it fills Jungkook’s nostrils with so much force that he feels he could gag at the smell. 

‘‘What do you think?’’ You ask the fourth-grader with a big smile on your face, cheeks tinted with a light shade of red as you see him reading the little message you wrote inside the card.

Jungkook lets out a mocking chuckle, ‘‘Are you serious? You like me?’’ He asks you, but it doesn’t look like he’s looking for answers. Your smile slowly fades away, looking at him with glossy eyes, ‘‘I don’t like you, you’re just a dumb little girl.’’ 

His card was the one you had invested the most time in and yet it only took him a second to crumple it with his hand, and another five for him to toss it into the trash can near you before he goes back to his group of friends in the school’s playground.

You learn how to hold your tears in then, thinking it’s a great accomplishment and that maybe now he’ll stop calling you a crybaby.

His friends receive him with high-fives and he smiles with gratefulness because they just saw how much of a badass he can be. Once recess is over and everyone’s going back to their classrooms, Jungkook nears the garbage bin where he had thrown the Valentine's card in, but finds it’s now dirty with yogurt someone tossed inside. 

He grimaces at the sight and sighs, there’s no way he can save it now.

You’re twelve and you’re the only girl in the treehouse who hasn’t gone through puberty yet. It wasn’t something that bothered you until just recently, when it became pretty evident why none of the boys would even give you a onceover compared to the other girls.

“I don’t know if I want to play,” you mumble after Kim Jihyo suggests playing spin the bottle. You’re the only one who opposes the idea, though you could count Jungkook in given as he just sat there without saying a word.

Park Yerim rolls her eyes, “You’re so boring, Y/N!” The comment makes the rest giggle as you pout at being the designated party pooper. 

It’s all fun and games of truth and dares to whoever the bottle lands on and you’ve been lucky enough to avoid the tip of the plastic Coca-Cola bottle to point at you, until it lands on Jungkook who has done a few funny dares so far.

“Alright, Jungkook, let’s make things even more fun!” Jihyo announces since she’s been the one who has assigned most of the embarrassing challenges and questions, “I dare you to kiss one of the girls here for ten seconds.” 

The dare makes the boys cheer with excitement and the girls gasp with anticipation, hoping one of them is the lucky chosen one. Your lips part slightly as you stare at him sitting across from you, he’s clearly not comfortable with the dare, but knowing him, he won’t express his current discomfort. 

His eyes land on you as you stare back at him with concern, hoping that he’ll speak up to avoid himself the embarrassment. Has he even kissed someone before? If this is his first kiss, you’ll witness it alongside everyone else and you can only imagine how terrifying that must be. Even though Jungkook’s always been a brave kid, you can always tell when he feels under pressure.

“Uhm, I’ll uh—“ Jungkook keeps staring at you and you feel your heart start to beat like you just ran the usual ten laps around the gym in P.E class. Are you about to have your first kiss? With him? 

You nod your head absentmindedly, a sign to let him know it’s okay for him to pick you from all the other developed girls who probably have more experience kissing than you do, but it’s okay because you’ve always been a quick learner. 

“Yeji,” Jungkook says after what feels like forever, though it’s only been a mere few seconds, “I’ll kiss Yeji.” He adds, removing his eyes from yours and settling them on the girl with the high ponytail and pink colored nails. 

You bite your bottom lip hard, breaking the dry skin as you feel yourself taste blood. It doesn’t matter because no one’s paying attention to you and instead they’re focused on Jungkook’s neverending kiss with Yeji. 

When you get home that night, you look at yourself in the mirror and frown at your lack of everything. Is this the reason as to why he hadn’t picked you? 

You’re fourteen and Kim Taehyung just sent you a message through MSN in which he confesses to have feelings for you. Your eyes widen, rereading the message several times, rubbing at your eyes just to make sure you’re seeing things correctly. 

You run off across the street to Jungkook’s house, ringing the doorbell quickly for someone to open up. You’re greeted by him looking at you with an annoyed expression, he had to pause his GTA game to come and open the door. 

“What do you want?” Jungkook asks harshly, crossing his arms as he stares into somewhere that’s not your face. He’s anxiously waiting for you to spit out whatever it is you’re there to say. 

You calm yourself down by breathing in deep and out, blowing the air right at him, “Does Taehyung like me?” You ask him, making Jungkook’s eyes widen in surprise and his brows to raise. 

His reaction tells you that you might’ve just discovered a secret you weren’t supposed to and it only makes your heart beat even faster because if it’s true, then this is a pleasant surprise. Kim Taehyung is one of the hottest boys in the tenth grade and he happens to be one of Jungkook’s closest friends. You think he must know something since you see them hanging out at lunch.

“Uh—I don’t know, Y/N.” Jungkook mumbles, rubbing at the back of his neck, finally looking at you and he feels a gut wrenching punch in his stomach at the sight. “Taehyung isn’t a really good guy, you shouldn’t—“ 

“What are you saying?” You interrupt him with a question, confused as to why Jungkook was painting a negative picture of his friend. “He was really sweet with what he said, he thinks my eyes are pretty when they sparkle — I didn’t even know they did that!” 

Jungkook grimaces and sighs, there’s really not much he can do here. You’ve always been so stubborn, so relentless. No matter how many times life tries to tell you something’s not meant for you, you challenge each and every one of it’s obstacles until you take what’s yours. 

“Okay, then what are you gonna do? Date him? You haven’t even had your first kiss yet.” Jungkook reminds you with a mocking tone and you furrow your brows together because, how does he know that? 

You stammer, “I-I have! I had it at camp last summer, actually!” That’s a lie, but he wasn’t there so he can’t prove the veracity of your statement. “And what do you care? So what if I want to date him?” You add with anger, not understanding why couldn’t he just support you in search of true love. 

The thought of dating Kim Taehyung had never crossed your mind, thinking he was way too out of your league for him to ever notice you. But that confession sitting in your MSN chat now served as a nice feeling of knowing you aren’t as invisible as you think you are. 

Jungkook scoffs, “Taehyung would never date you, okay? He’s older than you, he’s cool, he goes to parties and has kissed almost every girl in his grade, do you think he’d really like someone as boring as you?” He doesn’t mean to be so harsh, but you’re just so difficult and impossible to get through.

Jungkook’s used to the trembling bottom lip and the teary eyes that you give him everytime he says something that definitely strikes a nerve within you, but he’s always impressed on how you always refrain from crying in front of him. Last time you did that you were both kids and he probably took the last lollipop from your batch of collected halloween candy. 

“Screw you, Jungkook,” you say through gritted teeth, and if looks could kill, he’d be dead already. 

He looks at you quickly stomp your way back to your house, only heading back inside once you slam your front door shut. Jungkook enters his room to find two new messages in his MSN.

$$ kIm tAaEhyYyuNG $$: it worked! 

$$ kIm tAeEhyYyunGG $$: she fell for it xDxD where did u even come up with the sparkly eyes thing?? that’s gold bro rofl 

Jungkook sighs, ignoring the messages and shutting his computer down.

You’re sixteen and you’ve been invited to your first party. Granted, it was Jungkook’s, but he knew that if he didn’t ask you to come you’d probably tell on him with his mom. No matter what age he was, he’d always fear his mother’s scolding. 

“Drink this!” Park Jimin says with his beautiful smile and you’re starting to realize why they gave him that very same superlative on the school’s yearbook. You take the red solo cup without any second thought, placing the rim straight to your lips and choke once you feel the liquid burn your throat. 

“Ugh—What’s this?” You ask, cleaning the droplets of liquid around the corners of your mouth. 

He chuckles, “Fruit punch!” The liquid is indeed red like the familiar drink you’re used to, but there’s definitely something else mixed inside. “Oh, and vodka,” he adds with wiggly eyebrows as he shows off the small flask he was hiding in his sweatshirt’s front pocket.

You gasp and hand him the cup back, “No, I don’t drink alcohol, sorry.” Jimin rolls his eyes and it reminds you of the many times you’ve received this same reaction from your classmates before. Always a party pooper. He’s about to take the plastic red cup from you until you quickly drink the spiked punch in one go.

The boy howls in excitement, “Woo, go Y/N! Another one coming right up.” 

Jungkook knows he should be making sure everything’s alright downstairs. If his mother notices there’s at least one misplaced object, she’ll know right away something went down in her house while her husband and her were away for the weekend on an emergency trip to their hometown. Leaving him unsupervised only because they both believed their son was old enough to tend for himself.

But Jung Eunha had dragged him into his room with the excuse of wanting to see what it looked like, but the mini tour had turned into them kissing on his bed and Jungkook is thankful he changed his Spiderman sheets in exchange for some boring plain grey ones. Eunha smells like fresh mint and Jungkook is way into his head to focus on properly kissing her.

It’s not until his bedroom door is abruptly open, slamming against the wall that Jungkook literally jumps to his feet, making Eunha gasp as they both look at the person who has interrupted their awkward makeout session. 

“Guk-ah, what are you doin’?” You curiously wonder, a hiccup following right after which makes you giggle. Jungkook’s chest rises and falls with quickness as he notices you look different from the last time he saw you twenty minutes ago when you were talking to Jimin. “Guk-ah, were you—you kissin’ Eunha?” You ask once more after not receiving an answer to your previous question.

“Y/N, are you okay?” He asks in concern, coming closer to analyze your weird state. You stretch your arm out to avoid him from nearing you, making him falter in his place as he studies your expression. 

You hum, “Guk-ah, you busy. Sorry,” you apologize in a shy tone, ready to head back down and have more of that fruity alcohol punch you now found tasty, but you stumble and only avoid yourself from falling by holding onto Jungkook's door frame, he’s already reaching out by then. 

“Are you fucking serious, Y/N? Get out!” Eunha complains with irritation, getting up from the bed and ready to kick you out of his room, but his free arm stops her from getting near you. “Whu—?”

“Eunha, go back down. I’ll deal with her myself.” Jungkook says as calmly as he can, thinking three’s a crowd and dealing with you wasn’t an easy thing in of itself. She’s about to argue, but he interrupts her again, “Go down, now.” 

She rolls her eyes and bumps her shoulder against yours harshly once she steps out of his room, “Whatever, that kiss was shitty anyway.” 

He pretends he didn’t hear that and takes you in his arms instead, dragging you to lay on his bed as you cuddle into his favorite pillow and hug it close to your body. How much did you drink? Why did you even do it in the first place? Jungkook knows you’ve never tried alcohol before, which means he’ll be in big trouble if you show up back to your house like this. 

When you open your eyes hours later, your head hurts and it feels lightweight when you move it side to side. The room you’re in is familiar, that spiderman poster is still hung on the wall, but there are no more toys laying around the floor; they’ve probably been stored somewhere in his garage or sent off to a donation center under his mother’s demand.

The pillow that you’re hugging smells just like him and any other day you’d hold on to it tighter and inhale his scent like your life depended on it, but you abruptly sit on the bed as you’re reminded of how you got here. The action is not appreciated by your dizzy head, but you look around the room to notice how dark it is and there’s no more music playing downstairs. 

You quickly jump to the ground, only to hear a “Fuck, ouch!” from below, stepping on Jungkook’s leg unintentionally. It makes you gasp, looking down to notice the older friend laying on the cold floor, having gotten rid of that childhood carpet of his. His head’s laying on a makeshift pillow made out of a towel and he’s trying hard not to shiver. 

“I’m sorry, sorry, sorry!” You quickly apologize, stepping away from his figure as he soothes the shin of his leg you stepped on. “Jungkook, what happened?” 

He sighs, “Someone decided to drink like five cups of spiked punch knowing damn well it was their first time drinking alcohol, stepped into my room like a crazy person, and then crashed on my bed like they—What’s with the face?”

“Bathroom.”

Jungkook grimaces while he holds your hair back, you’re throwing away all the liquid you had taken with a few additional snacks you had munched on earlier, “Are you done?” He asks in a tired mumble and you shake your head no.

He feels guilty that you’re in this position. He didn’t even want to kiss Eunha, but she was one of the most popular girls in his grade and he knew that if he turned her down she would most likely put a bad word in with the rest of the girls and the guys would make fun of him for being such a wuss.

That would’ve been better, because after laying you down on his bed he had to go down and tell everyone that the party was over, putting an excuse that the neighbors had warned him and threatened to call the cops. They all cleared pretty quickly, but he knew he was going to be the butt of the jokes come Monday. He even had to call your parents to let them know you had gone home to a friend’s house for a sleepover, which he knew wasn’t totally believable, but it had somehow gotten them convinced that their daughter was alright because they trusted Jungkook to never hurt you ever. 

Once you feel like you’ve puked your stomach out, Jungkook hands you a pill accompanied with a glass of water and hands you clothes of his that might be more comfortable to sleep in. 

“Good night, Jungkook,” you whisper once you’re laying back on his bed, still hugging the pillow he preferred to sleep with. He makes a sacrifice to make it up to you. 

His back is going to hurt by the time the sun comes out in a few hours, but it’s okay if it means you’ll sleep comfortably after the events of tonight. “Good night, Y/N.” 

He’s unable to sleep, but finds entertainment in your hanging hand beside his bed. The skin on your palm looks soft and there’s this strange urge inside of him that makes him want to grab your hand in his, but he refrains. 

To calm the current chaos in his head, Jungkook finds peace in the light snores coming from his bed.

You’re just about to turn eighteen and your date to the prom is Jeong Jaehyun, who had only asked you out a day before the event because the girl he had initially wanted to take had been asked and he didn’t have a plan B. 

Jaehyun is okay, at least he managed to get you a corsage that matched the color of your dress. He even smiles in the pictures your parents take of you both as you awkwardly try to look comfortable with his arms around you even though by then you had only exchanged a few sentences. 

The prom’s theme is Summer Nights and you think it’s fitting considering this is the very last event before the graduation ceremony, meaning that you’d most likely never see most of these people ever again. You had purposely applied to a college that was outside of your hometown for that same reason. You’re ready to live the life you’ve always wanted to live, without anyone judging or knowing you. 

Your date spends most of the night talking with his group of friends as you’re left alone on your table, looking at your well manicured nails. You knew you weren’t going to get the same prom experience the high school kids on T.V enjoyed, but you at least hoped it would’ve been a little more fun than this.

A tap on your shoulder makes you turn around to see Jungkook trying to loosen the tight tie around his neck. He looks incredibly handsome and you suppose his mother helped him pick the suit out, Jungkook rarely ever wore fitted clothing, so this is one of those once in a lifetime moments..

“Hey you,” you say and he gives you half a smile, wondering why you’re sitting by yourself at an empty table when everyone else was either mingling or dancing. “Where’s your date?” You ask with curiosity, you’re surprised that Jinsoul isn’t trailing alongside him given how she had behaved for the past week ever since he asked her to come with him. 

“Retouching her face or something,” he answers casually, “what are you doing sitting here? Where’s Jaehyun?” Jungkook asks.

You shrug your shoulders, “Don’t know, probably talking with the guys of the basketball team. He’s been gone for a while.” Not like you care, anyway. If your conversation with him inside his car on the way to the venue had been any indication of what it would’ve been like for the rest of the night, you’re glad he's not here trying to make any more small talk with you.

Jungkook huffs, thinking he’ll kick his ass if he sees him. He had asked him to invite you so you wouldn’t come alone, and yet here you are, sitting all by yourself while the douchebag’s making a social life somewhere in the crowd. He calms down once he notices how unbothered you are by it, though. You’re a big girl now, you’ve been through too much to be affected by something as simple as this.

“Is there something you wan—“

“Dance!” You interrupt with excitement and Jungkook chuckles.

“I was gonna ask if you wanted something to drink, but—alright, let’s dance.” Jungkook can’t dance for shit, but you took lessons when you were younger and he can still remember how you’d always show him the routines you learned in class. He’d always boo you, but in reality you were pretty good. He wonders why you stopped, he doesn’t recall you ever telling him.

It’s just his luck that once you both step into the dancefloor, the hired DJ stops the up-tempo song playing before and switches to a much slower romantic one, “Alright everyone, I want all the couples on the dancefloor for this one.” 

You step away from him with nervousness, it’s couples only after all. But Jungkook holds onto your lower back firmly, pulling you closer into his space. Your eyebrows raise as your lips part, “Uh, s-should we, uh—?” 

“It’s just a song, Y/N. You wanted to dance, then we’ll dance.” He tells you with such confidence it makes you feel like this is totally normal and something all friends do. All the known High School couples are dancing together, heads tenderly placed over chests and chins resting lovingly above them. You wait for Jungkook to take the lead because you have no clue of what you should be doing, you might’ve taken dance lessons years ago but you’ve never slowed danced in your life. 

Jungkook places his hand on your hip, the touch makes goosebumps crawl in your arms. He pretends he doesn’t notice it as he takes your right hand in his. You stare at the way he delicately holds it like it’s his mother’s fine china. “Place your other hand on my shoulder,” he instructs and you do as asked, your palm coming to rest on the strong muscle. 

He’s only slowed danced once before at a family member’s wedding where his mother taught him how to, with her as the teacher. Back then he thought it was incredibly ridiculous, but now he’s sort of glad that happened because he’s the teacher now and you’re now looking at him with your big eyes as you sway alongside him. 

You clear your throat, “This isn’t that hard.” Jungkook nods as he stares down at you, noticing how uneasy you are given that you’re looking at everything and not entirely immersed in the moment.

“You look beautiful tonight.” He says out of nowhere, making you look at him like a deer stuck in headlights, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. He had never called you that before. 

An awkward laugh escapes your lips, looking away from his intense gaze as you try not to take his words too literally, “Ha ha, that was a good one.” To you there’s no other explanation than this being one of his mean pranks on you.

But Jungkook doesn’t falter both his words and gaze, “I’m not laughing.” There’s seriousness in his voice and you have to look back at him again just to make sure he really isn’t, “You look beautiful, just take the compliment.” You nod and there’s silence between you two after that. You’re digesting the romantic lyrics that the singer is talking about and hope that the song ends soon, because you’ve never been this close to him and it’s starting to feel too crowded.

You clear your throat, “So…” 

“So…,” he repeats. 

“What are you doing for summer?” You ask him in an attempt to break the tension and wanting to take advantage of the little intimate moment since Jungkook rarely ever lets you pry into his private life. 

“I think I’ll train before heading off,” he answers. It was more than obvious he was going to earn that sports scholarship he had been aiming for, he was one of the best athletes on the school; though you considered him to be the number one between them all. “I’m kinda scared, not gonna lie.” 

You look at him with surprise, tilting your head to the side, “You’re scared?” You ask in disbelief because as long as you’ve known him, he’s never been scared of anything. This is the same kid who instilled your fear of monsters in a closet after watching Monster’s Inc. together, also the same kid who helped you get over it after he realized you had actually taken it seriously.

He chuckles lightly, “Yeah, I’m just scared about starting over.” It’s interesting how his biggest fear is the one you’re looking forward to the most, but you suppose it’s fitting for someone who has never had to worry about what people think of him. In this town, Jungkook has swam freely without any concerns. Out there, he’s just another fish in the big and scary ocean. “Aren’t you?” He questions, hoping that you’re able to relate to what he’s feeling. 

“Honestly, I—“ 

You’re interrupted by Jaehyun clearing his voice in front of you two, making you both turn your heads towards his direction. You quickly separate from Jungkook and he feels his body lose the warmness you were providing. 

“If you wanted to dance, you could’ve just asked. I’m your date after all.” He says smugly and you chuckle awkwardly, nodding because he’s right. 

Jungkook wants to punch his stupid face, how dare he interrupt you both when he had been ignoring you the whole night? Why does he suddenly want to dance with you when he’s probably still upset at him for asking Jinsoul to the prom before he could?

“Your date’s looking for you, buddy. She doesn’t look too happy.” Jaehyun adds with a smirk as he takes your hand in his and drags you away from Jungkook towards another place on the dancefloor. 

He’s left to stare at the way he holds your hand, and he only hopes he’s doing it ever so carefully. 

You’re twenty when Jungkook sees you for the first time since you both left for college two and half a years ago. He’s rendered speechless when he spots you in the crowd, there’s a manly hand around your waist as you giggle into the stranger’s mouth before placing a kiss to his lips. 

There’s only so much social media can provide him, pictures and stories aren’t enough for Jungkook to keep up with you. He thinks you’ve changed, not only appearance wise but you seem way more outgoing, carefree, and happy. Did he miss the boyfriend announcement picture? He’s sure he didn’t, he checks your profile almost every day and he’s never even seen him in any of your stories. 

A gasp escapes your lips once you spot him, completely forgetting about the possibility of bumping into him given that both your schools were playing against each other that night. You tell Namjoon you’ll be right back and he nods, going back to a conversation with the group of college friends you had made. 

You surprise him by jumping into him, arms around his shoulders as you hug him from behind. You let out a shrill of excitement and he blushes as his friends chuckle at the unexpected approach from this unfamiliar girl. 

‘‘Jungkook! You didn’t tell me you’d be here,’’ you say once he turns around to face you and he’s able to see you better upfront. You look beautiful and he thinks the Instagram pictures are not doing you enough justice. You’re glowing, and it has nothing to do with the highlighter you applied on your face and collarbone area. 

The both of you aren’t able to properly talk until you suggest moving to a different area, Jungkook apologizing to his friends as he explained he needed to catch up with an old friend. They don’t complain and instead shoot him teasing looks and small pervy comments that go by unnoticed to you. 

Jungkook listens with intent to your ramble about what you’ve been up to. From your courses, to your roommates, the parties you’ve attended, and even the fact that you handle your alcohol better now. He’s happy that you seem so too, but it irks him that you hadn’t been capable of telling him that you had a boyfriend now. Is there a reason as to why you omitted that important piece of information? 

‘‘And what about you? How’s college?’’ You ask with curiosity. 

He blinks a few times, realizing you had stopped talking about yourself and was now wondering about him instead. ‘‘It’s fine,’’ he answers with a tight lipped smile, the lack of detail compared to you was astonishing, but even though you were still hungry for more you decided not to pry any further. 

There’s fear in revealing that he’s been having a hard time catching up with the rest of his peers. College was indeed fine, but it could be better. He’s settled with the idea that this is as good at it’ll get, some things just aren’t like you expect them to be. At least you’re happy, and that fact brings him comfort. 

‘‘Was that your, uhm─boyfriend?’’ He finally asks after a while, both about to head back to your respective group of friends. 

The question takes you by surprise, looking at him with raised eyebrows and mouth agape. ‘‘Who? Namjoon?’’ He nods, though he doesn’t know anything about the guy he had first seen you with. You let out a wholehearted laugh, ‘‘Hell no, too many commitment issues with that one,’’ you answer and Jungkook’s forehead creases with confusion. 

Why were you kissing him then? 

‘‘We’re friends with benefits,’’ you inform him as if you had read his mind. ‘‘He’s a nice guy, though. Also, super smart, he’s helped me with a few of my─’’ 

‘‘You’re not a virgin anymore?’’ He abruptly asks, disbelief in his tone as he internally screams to himself for thinking out loud. Jungkook expects you to berate him about such an imprudent question, but is surprised when he sees you giggling. 

‘‘Duh, silly. I think I lost it freshman year?’’ The carelessness in your voice makes him look at you like you’ve gone crazy. Why are you so lax about this? Why are you telling him about losing your virginity without a care in the world? ‘‘Anyway, are you going to be home for the─’’

Jungkook interrupts you once again, ‘‘Was it with your boyfriend at the time?’’ He asks in genuine curiosity and you sigh, rolling your eyes slightly at him. 

‘‘No, it was some random dude at this party I went to. Could you please─’’

‘‘Y/N, are you insane? Why would you give up your virginity to some fucking stranger like it’s nothing?’’ Jungkook’s voice raises as he scolds you about being so negligent about yourself, ‘‘You can’t do shit like that!’’ He fumed, making you let out a breathless chuckle. 

‘‘Could you stop treating me like a fucking child for once in your life? I’m perfectly fine, Jungkook. I’ve been doing pretty well for myself without you here, actually. I don’t know why you think you have a say on what I do, is it the entitlement you have of me that you still carry around because we grew up together? Because if that’s it then you can drop it, I let go of my little girl who wanted a friend and was treated like pure shit in return complex a long time ago.’’ 

He knows you’re right, but he thinks he’ll always have this odd sense of protection over the five year old girl who cried to his mom about not lending her his favorite toy. He’ll always want to apologize to the eight year old girl who declared her love for him with a Valentine’s Day card while he ended up breaking her heart in exchange. He’ll always wish to look for help within the twelve year old girl who witnessed him give out his first kiss to another girl who he didn’t even like. He’ll always feel guilty towards the sixteen year old girl who had gotten tipsy on a spiked fruit punch and crashed on his bed. He’ll always hate himself for not asking the seventeen going on eighteen year old girl to prom when he knew he could’ve, but chose not to in fear of ruining your friendship. 

You only wanted someone to be there for you growing up and Jungkook had never been the brave boy you thought he was, always running from his fears in hopes he’d have a wide advantage margin from them. Yet here they are, standing right in front of him in the form of a twenty year old you, and they’re there to let him know that you’ve never needed him, yet he’s always needed you.

He can’t even apologize, he only looks at you with wide eyes as he fidgets in his place. Either you’re both too old now to understand each other or you just realized that you’ve outgrown Jungkook. 

Your mouth set in a hard line as you crossed your arms, the night’s breeze feeling colder than usual. ‘‘I miss you Jungkook, but I can’t keep playing this cat and mouse game with you any longer.’’ 

You leave him behind to go back to Namjoon’s arms, seeking refuge in his sweet embrace as you try your hardest to put on practice what you learned all those years ago when Jungkook broke your heart for the first time, you should be used to it by now.

You’re twenty-one when you’re back in your hometown to attend the funeral of the old lady down the street, the one that always scolded you and Jungkook growing up. 

You had been scared of her as a child, but always following along your friend’s footsteps when he proposed playing around her garden. It tugs at your heartstrings even if you hadn’t known the woman well. Her death was imminent seeing as she’d been ill for quite some time. 

A taller figure stands next to you as you both stand way in the back of the ceremony. He looks tired and you figure that it’s because of the fact he arrived late into the night, you heard his car’s engine from your bedroom window. Dressing in all black, you notice he bought a new suit. You’re sure that the one he wore for prom no longer fits considering he’s bigger now. 

You haven’t talked to each other since last year when you both left off on a sour note. The hurt you felt was no longer present, though. You chewed on your bottom lip as you thought of a way you could talk to him again without making things awkward, but you let out a small gasp once he placed his arm around your shoulders, giving it a small squeeze as he sighed and kept his focus on the service. 

Watching the casket be lowered into the ground felt weird. She was a human being just like you, but her existence was a reminder of your childhood. Would it be okay to say that her death meant a part of you leaving with her too? 

Once it hits you, it’s Jungkook who consoles you by hugging you tight. Your eyes are too blurry with tears for you to realize this is one of those rare moments where he’s holding you close without hesitation. He lets you ruin his tuxedo’s jacket with your mascara covered tears as he brushes your hair as a sign of comfort. 

You know things are back in order when he proposes the idea to go back to the old lady’s porch, for old times sake. ‘‘Will we ever let her rest?’’ You ask him with a small laugh as Jungkook sits on the doorsteps of the old lady’s empty home, opening the bag of candy worms he bought at the grocery store. 

He shrugs, ‘‘She loved us, always told my mom how much she missed us running around the street.’’ The revelation makes you smile, hoping it was true. He pats the empty space next to him, indicating for you to fill it up with your presence. Once you do, you feel the familiar warmth of his proximity. 

Jungkook seems different and you only hope he’s changed for the best. 

‘‘When are you going back?’’ You ask him with curiosity, hoping that he’ll be in town for a few more days so you can catch up with him on a better note this time around. 

He munches on one of the snacks, ‘‘Tomorrow morning, I have training camp and can’t miss it.’’ His answer makes you sigh with disappointment, but you nod nonetheless. ‘‘What about you?’’ He asks in return, and you inform him that you’ll stay for a few more days to spend time with your family. There’s silence after that and Jungkook can only offer you the gummy worms in the bag, you take one with a small thanks.  

‘‘College fucking sucks,’’ he says out of nowhere and it makes you look at him in bewilderement, ‘‘I hate it there, I wanna drop out so bad. But I’m a year away from graduating so it’s too late now.’’ You see his shoulders visibly relax, like a weight had been lifted off them. ‘‘Plus my mom would kill me if I do so,’’ he adds with a chuckle. 

Last time you asked everything was fine. Had things changed or had they always been this way and he was just now being honest with you?

You rest your head on his shoulder and focus all of your undivided attention on him as he keeps rambling about what his life has been ever since he left this town. He’s had bad games, bad grades, and bad girls. But he’s also had incredible games, good grades, and a couple great hookups, and yet he still feels empty, it’s not enough. 

‘‘I miss you,’’ he mumbles as he faces you, ‘‘I’m sorry for being such a shitty friend, you deserved better.’’ His apology is genuine and you can feel it in the way his voice trembles, sincerity has always scared him after all. 

Jungkook’s never known when the time is right, and he misjudges the look on your face. When he leans down to press his lips against yours, he’s blinded for a mere moment into believing that you wanted to kiss him just as much as he had been waiting. 

You abruptly separate from him with wide eyes and parted lips, ‘‘Jungkook, I’m─I’m dating Namjoon now.’’ He can physically feel his heart shatter, the revelation coming out like an old newspaper headline he should’ve read a long time ago. 

He lets out a breathless chuckle, ‘‘He got over the commitment issues?’’ The rhetorical question is bitter. 

You scoff, ‘‘And what about it? I preferred to wait than to rush into getting my heart broken.’’ Plus it’s not like you were expecting Namjoon to grow feelings for you, the whole no strings attached arrangement was named that way for a reason. 

Jungkook looks at you with narrowed eyes and he shakes his head sightly. Old habits never die down, still so stubborn and challenging as ever. 

He’s startled as you stand abruptly, fuming as you look at him, ‘‘I don’t even know why you care! Did you forget that you threw my Valentine’s Day card into the trash? Or that you kissed Yeji in front of my face? Or that you let Taehyung date me as prank between your friends? Or that you were making out with Eunha while Jimin kept giving me alcohol? Or that you asked Jaehyun to take me to the stupid prom even though I was perfectly fine going without him or anyone for that matter?’’

‘‘We were just kids!’’ Jungkook argues back at you.

‘‘It still fucking hurt,’’ you counter, ‘‘still hurts, actually. You think that by giving me a measly apology and kissing it better I’ll suddenly forget about all of it?’’ Jungkook knows it won’t ever make up for all those years, but he had at least hoped you’d be willing to give him a chance. 

He wishes he could say something else. Explain that he had just tried to protect you in his own shitty way from everyone else or himself maybe, he doesn’t know anymore. He wants to speak up again, but there’s disappointment written all over your face, you’re not angry at him...just saddened. 

‘‘Hope you have fun at your training camp.’’

Jungkook watches as you leave him sitting by himself on the old lady’s doorstep. A hand runs through his hair as he feels his eyes water, and he can almost hear a whisper in the wind that asks him why he didn’t stop you when he could’ve. 

Jungkook didn’t think that his family coming together with yours for Christmas dinner would’ve been a great idea. You’re cold to him at first and it’s fitting for the winter weather, but as always it only takes for him to sit next to you for things to warm up again. 

It’s with the excuse that you’ll run over to your house to grab a new bottle of wine from the kitchen counter that Jungkook trails behind you, both slightly tipsy on the different alcohols your families had offered each other. 

Years have passed since he last stepped foot inside your home, you used to visit him more often than he did anyway. It still smells and looks the same; the only difference is that there’s new pictures of you hung up on the walls, updated accordingly to the changes you’ve made ever since you left off for college.

You’re sporting a big smile in all of them, which in exchange makes him copy the action as well. His lack of presence in your life has done you better than compared to when he was around, and if that’s the case, then at least he did something right. 

There hasn’t been much said since the beginning of the night, just a simple hey out of courtesy. There’s so much he wants to say, but with no clue where to begin. Another apology is due, though he thinks it’s a little too late for that. He also wants to ask about what you’ve been up to since he last saw you, are you still dating the Namjoon guy you had told him about after he kissed you? If he’s still there, Jungkook rather keep quiet and not wonder out loud to you, he’s sure that it’ll hurt if it’s true. 

Growing up Jungkook always mistook your bravery with stubbornness and your courage with relentlessness. You’ve always been challenging, but only because you wanted him to do so too. It’s moments like this that prove him that you’ve always been the stronger between the two.

‘‘So, we’re just gonna pretend like nothing’s wrong between us?’’ You ask, speaking directly to him for the first time that night. It makes him look at you like a deer stuck in headlights, surprised by the sudden question and out of all the years of knowing each other, he feels small under your gaze for once. ‘‘How much time is it going to pass until you want to finally talk things like adults?’’ 

Jungkook gulps the lump in his throat, his brain quickly thinking of the right thing to say, ‘‘I just wanted to protect you from─’’

‘‘From what? From you? Everytime you’ve done that I end up getting hurt in the end. I’m left to pick the pieces up by myself,’’ you interject with anger in your voice. ‘‘It fucking pisses me off that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you kissing me, I haven’t stopped thinking about you and─’’ A sigh, you close your eyes to center yourself again as Jungkook waits for the final blow, ‘‘and you look like none of this has ever bothered you in the slightest because, you don’t really care about me do you?’’

‘‘I do care about you.’’ He’s sure about it, even though he’s been extremely bad at showing it. 

Even though your eyes are threatening to spill tears, you still muster up the last bit of what’s left of your courage to step closer to him until you’re a few inches away. ‘‘Prove it, then. Show me that you care.’’ 

His brain is sent into quick overdrive due to your close proximity. There’s a slight hesitation because he only hopes that what he’s about to do is what you’re demanding him to prove. He doesn’t care if you’re still dating the Namjoon guy because he’s settled with the idea that it’s okay if you don’t correspond, it’s not like he did the same to you when you were both younger. 

Once his lips press against yours, there’s no turning back. He’s waiting for you to push him back and let him know that your heart’s still taken, but you kiss him with such fervor that he knows in that moment that you’re right, it’s better to wait than to rush right in. 

It’s no fairytale kiss, though. There’s desperation in the way you chase his lips, as if you were to slow down he’d find a way to escape from you. You grip the cotton material of his crewneck into your small fists, holding on to the fabric like your life depended on it. The small kiss you had both shared last year was nothing compared to this, and Jungkook’s taken aback by your neediness. 

He doesn’t know how you manage to drag him to your childhood bedroom without missing a beat, only separating once you both realize you need to catch your breaths, and even then Jungkook can’t have a minute to take just happened in because your lips attach to his neck to get more of a taste. His fingers curled around your arm, sighing at the way your kisses felt like electricity on his skin. 

‘‘Y/N,’’ he calls your name out in a breathy tone, but you’re too immersed in your little bubble to even realize it. 

Jungkook groans when you bite into the skin of his neck, then blowing over the red mark as you kissed it better. It’s going to be bruise and he doesn’t like when that happens, but he’s not bothered at all if it comes from you. He forcibly grabs your chin so you can face him, looking at him with big eyes, a small pout, and with your chin messed with drool. 

It’s then that Jungkook kisses you hungrily, making you feel like you’re in a dream-like state,  though you could partially blame the Christmas eggnog for that. The way he bites at your lips and how your tongues clash together is an extreme juxtaposition as to how you could describe this moment. It’s as if you’re floating on air, clouds surrounding you in a heavenly embrace, angels singing in the background every time his hands touch, grab, hold and caress every part of your body. And yet, even with such a difference, it’s perfect because it’s Jungkook. You’ve been waiting for this too long, which is why your hands creep beneath his crewneck, touching his tonified abdomen tentatively and enjoying the way goosebumps arise on his skin at the sensation of your fingers trailing patterns wherever they caress.  

It’s only fair that he pays attention to yours as well. Jungkook’s lips trail from your mouth onto your jawline, planting wet kisses on each space until he begins sucking on the skin of your neck, making you moan in the process. He chooses then that his new favorite sound is the way you voice out the pleasure he gives you. ‘‘Hurry up,’’ you say, ridding the bottom of the crewneck higher over his stomach, making him shiver at the sudden change of temperature. 

Jungkook chuckles before completely getting rid of the material, ‘‘Calm down,’’ he sighs as he gives you a sweet smile, ‘‘You know our moms could talk forever.’’ 

You ogle his chest, admiring the way his training camps have obviously done wonders to his body. ‘‘It’s not them I’m talking about,’’ you correct him with a teasing smile that only makes his grin grow wider, chuckling at your impatience. Jungkook lets out a small gasp of surprise when your hands grasp at his shoulder blades, turning him around so you can back him until the back of his knees hit the edge of your bed. It’s funny how he lets himself be bossed around by someone who’s way smaller compared to his frame.

Jungkook finds leverage on his elbows splayed against the mattress, your knees resting on each side of his hips as you leaned into him and kissing him just as widely as you had done before. Jungkook could fill just how quick things were escalating, especially the way his crotch area was beginning to become a problem he couldn’t possibly control at the moment, not with your own being directly on top of it. In any other situation he would’ve apologized with an awkward laugh, but his breath hitches once your hips start grinding over him.  

His hands make their way on the inside of your knitted sweater, provoking goosebumps on the exposed skin. You let out a shaky laugh, halting your movements so you can quickly get rid of the fabric as Jungkook’s eyebrows lift in surprise at your haste and then at the sight of your bra covered breasts. His hands are still steadily placed on each side of your waist, only brought up because your own had redirected them over your breasts, hoping he gets the message on what you want him to do now.   

Jungkook hesitantly squeezed one of the round globes, provoking a small moan to come from out of your lips. He wishes to hold you as close as he possibly can because the idea of ever being away from you again has been his main fear as of lately. But he refrains, you look so delicate and he feels like you could easily break. He stares at your body lovingly and your cheeks heat up at the way his eyes ogle your chest like a kid in a candy story. You give his arm a light slap and he chuckles, leaning over you to place a passionate kiss on your lips.

“You’re beautiful,” he says frankly. It doesn’t help to dissipate the flush on your face, but the compliment doesn’t bother you in the slightest. Jungkook leans in to trail kisses past your collarbones and into the swell of your breasts, making you bite your lip with anticipation. He looks at you asking for permission and you nod quickly with parted lips as you start to become impatient for him to make his next move. Jungkook lowers the cups of your breasts, freeing your hardened nipples and immediately envelopes one of them with his lips. “Mph—!” A sigh escapes your lips as you try to memorize the way his tongue traces over your tit. He pays attention to your other one, fingers rolling over the bud and pinching ever so often. 

You can feel your panties damp by then, trespassing into the fabric of the black leggings you’re wearing over them. Reaching behind your back, you fumble in unclasping the hooks of the now uncomfortable bra. Jungkook’s forced to stop the undivided attention he had places on your breasts to look at you like he’s lost, why are you going so fast? 

Once your hands delve with the buckle of his belt, he has to hold on to your wrists with a firm grasp, ‘‘What are you doing?’’ He asks with quick breath, you blink stoically towards him. 

‘‘Uh─getting you naked?’’ You answer with a nonchalant tone, but his hands don’t let go and your demeanor changes, ‘‘D-Did you not want this?’’ Your voice turns smaller, embarrassed that maybe you had pressured him into something he didn’t want to participate in. 

Jungkook quickly shakes his head no, ‘‘No, I-I do want this! It’s just─you’re going so fast,’’ he tries to explain, ‘‘I’ve been waiting for this for too long, I don’t wanna rush.’’ Your eyes lit up at the revelation as he waits for you to answer back, only for his back to hit the comforter with a small thud, giggling at the way you urgently kiss him again, but this time with much more care. 

‘‘Why didn’t you say so before, stupid?’’ You mumble with a sheepish look, ‘‘I thought it was just going to be─nevermind, I need you right now.’’ You have to force yourself from spitting out any details that could possibly ruin the moment between you two, deciding to wait instead for any emotional confessions you want to make. 

He switches positions between the two, panting as he brings you down to the mattress and Jungkook can feel the goosebumps on your skin, whether from the coldness of the room or because of the sheer electricity of his hands caressing your body like it was molded just right for him. He dips his hand lower, cupping your clothed heat on his hand. It makes you tremble and you whine, encouraging him to keep going. 

“Baby, you’re really wet,” he comments with a teasing tone and you pout at him. His fingers hook into the waistband of your leggings and he pulls them down as he travels with them, greeted by the sight of the damp cloth of your panties. He exhales with content, caressing your thighs in an up and down motion. You twist underneath him and he has to hold your hips down to calm you down, “Patience is a virtue.” 

“I’ve been too patient, do some—Ah!” Your whining is interrupted once Jungkook moves your underwear to the side holding it with his free hand, fingers coming to trace the slick covering your pussy lips. He becomes entranced with the transparent gooey liquid, bringing them close to his face as he separates his fingers and sees a strand connecting between them. “Guk-ah, p-please…” Your needy voice brings him back to reality, delving his fingers back into your exposed heat but this time with intent. 

Jungkook’s thumb lifts the hood covering your clit, mouth coming down to give it a small tentative kiss. That action alone has you writhing above him, it makes him chuckle to himself as he dives back in. The moans you let out are loud and clear inside your bedroom, thankful that it’s only you and him inside your house. Your hand pulls at his hair, making him groan against you and the vibrations are felt throughout your body, only adding to the euphoric pleasure you already possess. His fingers trace the inside of your thighs until they reach your entrance, circling the fluttering hole which makes you pull at his hair harder and with your other you hold on to the bedsheets of the comforter tightly into your fist. 

Jungkook’s tongue is still working your engorged bud, but he focuses his eyes on you as he dips the first finger inside you. “Oh—fuck,” you let out in a breathy moan. He tries to maintain a rhythm between his two ministrations, but it’s hard when he wants to focus on all of them at once. “‘Nother, please,” you begged once he let your clit rest, quickly following your request by adding another into your warm heat. He lets out a breathless chuckle as he notices how easy it is to thrust both fingers inside of you, your whole crotch area is covered in slick and his wet chin is a dead giveaway to where he was seconds ago. 

He watches you unravel over him with such adoration, not even his wettest dreams or dirtiest fantasies could prepare him for this. Seven minutes in heaven he plans to stay in forever. “Guk-ah, I wan’ you. I-Inside, please.” You plead with teary eyes, and he slowly stops, removing his arousal covered fingers from inside you as he makes you sigh in the process. He kisses you again and again, your hazy brain is probably hallucinating all of this right now, but damn is it good. You tug at the crewneck he’s wearing, he’s too overdressed for this occasion. He tends to your demands, quickly getting rid of all the layers of clothing that stop him from being inside of you fully. 

“I don’t have a—“ 

“I’m on the pill.”

You both speak at the same time, making each other chuckle. Jungkook gulps at the idea of taking you raw as the first time together, and you salivate at his hardened length; the head already oozing precum out and you want nothing more than to wrap your lips around it and lick the tip up. You’re just about to when Jungkook quickly grabs your wrist to stop you from reaching him, you look up at him with the big sparkly eyes he has loved for too long. 

“I just—I wanna be inside you right now,” he sheepishly admits, and you smile with a nod; sharing the sentiment. You back up until your head rests on the pillows comfortably, relaxing into the mattress as you wait for Jungkook to ready himself. He places a kiss on your lips before placing a hand next to your head, using it as leverage above you. His free hand takes his cock and rubs the tip along your folds, making you squirm with anticipation. Jungkook chuckles, “Are you ready?” He asks with a sweet smile. 

“I’ve always been,” you whisper, your hand tucking a strand of his long hair behind his ear. 

A caress to his cheek as he nods, slowly pushing the head of his dick into you. You bite into your lip hard, it’s been a while since you had sex with someone and Jungkook’s size and girth was different from the rest. Your walls are tight around him and he has a tough time trying to reach the hilt with you squeezing him so hard, “Baby, relax for me.” He pleads and you nod apologetically, breathing in deep as you feel him reach parts inside of you, you didn’t know existed. Once he’s all the way in, he waits for you to give him the go ahead while he presses kisses into your heated cheek. You wrap your legs around his waist and give him a nod, letting him know he was allowed to start thrusting.

Jungkook manages to hit all the right places, keeping a steady pace as he enters and exits you each time. You’re left to moan and writhe underneath him, letting him take you as he pleases. Your kisses become messy, teeth biting into each other’s lips, teeth grazing against each other as you both tried to fight for the dominant position. It’s that heavy makeout that incites you to push at his shoulders, making him turn in his back, exiting you in the process. Jungkook pants, chest rising and falling with quickness as you straddle his lap, arms connecting behind his neck. 

“You always want to win, right?” He chuckles with half lidded eyes, enjoying the way your pussy lips grinded over his twitching length. You bat your eyelashes at him, offering him an innocent smile. The same technique that used to get you everything you wanted when you were younger. Same determination as you seek for what’s yours. He’s under you after all, still a victim to your charms.

Jungkook takes the bulbous head of his cock and teases it in your clit, if you weren’t holding on to him tight you would’ve collapsed into his chest. And by the way you moan his name out, he knows you’ll always look for him no matter the weather. “What a pretty girl,” he coos into your hair and you pinch his nipple in retaliation which only makes him groan in return. “My pretty girl.” He states before sinking himself deep into you again, sighing at the feeling of your hips circling over him. His rough hands guide them as you bounce up and down his length, moaning every time you rose and hissing when you came back down. 

He makes sure to keep this image engraved on his head forever. Your breasts bouncing over his face, your thighs working extra hard to keep up with his thrusts, and the way your sounds bounced off the walls of your bedroom. 

“You’re doing s-so good, baby.” Jungkook praises you, kneading your ass cheek. “Taking my cock s-so well,” he falls into a trance of admiring the way his length would appear and disappear inside of you, covered in a thick layer of your arousal. It makes him drill into you faster, sitting properly against the bed’s headboard as he takes your hips with force. He’s too turned on to keep treating you so delicately, and the way you moan and pant at the increase in speed only lets him know you enjoy him like this way more. “I-Is it good, baby? Am I-I fucking you well?” He asks in between rapid thrusts, your thighs had given out by then. 

You nod and a whimper escapes your lips, “Y-yes, Guk-Ah. S-so good, feels amazing.” Your praise is honest, the fucked out tone in your voice is a clear indicator of how well of a job he was doing. A minute longer and you’ll be right on cloud nine, never wanting to come back down. “Wanna cum Guk-Ah, plea—“ There’s no need for you to even finish your sentence because his thumb rubs your clit in figure eights, making you groan with the intensified feeling of his hips circling inside you deliciously. You can almost see the blinding white light ahead as Jungkook kisses you feverishly. You feel tears escape the corners of your high, the familiar feeling tickling inside you as Jungkook’s thrusts don’t let up. ‘‘Ah! Yes, yes, fuck,’’ you cry out once your orgasm hits. Jungkook holds you close to his chest, trying to soothe your shaking body with his arms. Your walls squeeze and relax continuously around him, it serves him as the impulse he needs to chase his own high. 

‘‘I love you, Jungkook,’’ you confess in between panting breaths, ‘‘so much.’’ 

His release shoots out and he groans, digging crescent moons into your hips. You hiss at the sensation, but giggle at how his eyes are screwed shut and brows still furrowed together, as if he was holding on to the last of his orgasm. In reality, Jungkook is just hoping that once he opens his eyes you’ll still be in his arms. Your fingers tilting his head to face you are very much real, he sees spots once he opens his eyes as they adjust to the room’s lighting. 

‘‘I love you too.’’ He says with a fixed gaze and you coo at how perfect this is.

You’re twenty-two when Jungkook’s finally yours.

You’re both twenty-three and it’s another weekend spent at his apartment, he’s been playing for three hours now and you’ve given up on having him pay attention to you. Deciding to switch your plan around and join him instead, if only he would let you play.

‘‘Jungkook, you said it was going to be my turn five rounds ago!’’ You complain with a pout, crossing your arms across your chest. 

His gaze is still stuck on the T.V screen, ‘‘Baby, shhh, you’re gonna make me lose.’’ He mumbles as he tries to remain concentrated on the game in hand, but he can hear your humph’s from behind him, ‘‘Patience is a─’’

‘‘Virtue, yeah, who cares.’’ You interrupt him with a roll of your eyes, familiar with the saying a little too well. ‘‘Hope you remember that for later tonight,’’ you add in a mumble, but he doesn’t hear it because of the loud sounds coming from the game on the screen. 

‘‘What did you say, babe?’’ He asks with a raised brow, hitting the buttons of the controller with expert ease. 

‘‘I’ll call your mom and tell her you don’t wanna share.’’ You joke with a threatening voice, but Jungkook knows better than to take your words so lightly. He pauses the game and turns to look at you with an are you serious? expression on his face, you giggle as you’ve finally got what you wanted. 

He apologizes by covering your face with kisses, pleading for you not to tell on him with his mom. You promise not to do so this time, knowing that the woman was probably tired of having to scold his son at his big age. 

Plus, ever since Jungkook surprised you with the almost exact replica of the Valentine’s Day card you gave him all those year back, you’ve taken advantage to tease him even more knowing he’s at your beck and call. You always remind him that he came close because the stickers he used were not like the ones you had, but he remembered to add the hearts on the I’s so that’s good enough. 

‘‘Alright you can play, but━!’’ He says after he finishes his attack of kisses, ‘‘I’ll be your guide, I can’t risk you messing my record up, no offense baby.’’ None taken as you nod excitedly, you’ll always take whatever chance he gives you. 

Jungkook’s finally learned how to share his toys after all.

[hard--mode]

Here's the notes for everything that would happen up until the end of the story.... as far as I had it figured out. You'll notice things are a lot less fleshed out the later things go. That's a big reason why this never got finished. the longer I tried to keep the thing running, the more I realized I never had any idea what I wanted to actually DO with this story which made it pretty hard for me to keep up. it's hard to write a story you're trying to take seriously if all you really have are jokes, it turns out.

I haven't reread any of this or edited it at all so who knows what kind of notes I might have written in between things haha

P: so as i was saying about undyne-

C: who’s undyne?

Everyone freezes. Chara just walked right up to papyrus without being noticed. Paps freaks out for a sec before he pulls sans into a huddle. Chara frowns and tries to peek around.

~Montage of papyrus’s excitement and harder puzzles, death montage

~Junior jumble: its sudoku now

Chara’s doing puzzles and sees flowey spying. They shout him over

C: HEY! still following me, loser? Don’t you have anything better to do? (but they smile)

F: somebody’s gotta make sure you don’t get killed too much out here

Flowey pops up closer to them

C: nah, I’m fine! I’ve got that reset power!

F: not for long considering how much you use it (mumbles. Rolls eyes??) (some depiction of chara dying a lot in the bg)

C: by the way…. In the ruins you were telling me to use it… care to tell me more about it since you seem to know so much?

F: I-... uh… well you already know the most of it. It just resets you back to your last SAVE point like nothing happened. Only beings with a powerful SOUL can use it, so monsters with their weak souls can’t.

Chara stops their puzzle work and sits to even the heights: Can flowers?

F: what the heck are you-... oh, no no no. I’m different.

C: so you have the power too.

F: No! I mean-, i used to before you came around. Yeah.

C: so you’ve done resets. (urging him on)

F: yep.

Chara waits a while: ...thats all you have to say?

F: yep

Travel scenes from here on out depict chara and flowey together

Gauntlet:

Flowey remarks that he doesn't remember a save point being before it. Chara goes along and gets paps’ bit. He does to activate it

C: wait this isn't for real right? U can't be srs!!!

P: yeah I am, this is hard mode!

Just show chara repeatedly spawning at the save and running back in with flowey watching them

Then cut to the end chara on the other side of it panting and exhausted, papyrus shocked but also beaming

P: wow you did it!! I'm so proud of u human! I didn’t think you would actually be able to get through it--- I mean- drat! Foiled again! I'll get u one of these times!

Papyrus runs off and Chara watches him with a look of wonder in their eyes.

F: don’t get too excited. his pride is cheap, he’s proud of everyone and every thing

Chara grumbles and marches forward: whatever. I don’t hear you saying you’re proud of me, so why do I have to listen to what you have to say

F: You know, you’re gonna have to fight him soon. Didn’t sans say so? What are you going to do then, die over and over until you give up or are you going to try to murder him just like you did with Toriel? :)

C: I am not! I’m gonna talk him out of it and go right past him like everyone else. Who knows! Maybe he won’t even fight me because he’s that cool. Even if he does, he’s probably a wimp anyways.

F: I wouldn’t be so sure! I bet you don’t stand a chance.

C: shut up! Quit following me if you’re gonna be this useless.

Paps fight

As papyrus carries their body to the shed to rest. Opens on their vision returning and they see their hands hanging toward the ground.

C: why didn’t you kill me? You’re stronger than everyone else, you could easily do it. Why dont you finish me off so everyone can leave or whatever it is you need me to do? Why did you hold back?

P: OH! YOU’RE AWAKE!

C: you held back…

P: OF COURSE i DID! I COULD NEVER KILL YOU, YOU’RE MY-- I HOPE I’M NOT BEING TOO FORWARD, BUT I LIKE TO THINK OF YOU AS MY FRIEND! AND EVEN THOUGH WE DO NEED YOUR SOUL, YOU DESERVE A FIGHTING CHANCE TO DO… WHATEVER IT IS YOU’RE TRYING TO DO.

Chara is too shocked and confused by the sentiment: I don’t… I don’t understand?

P: WHAT’S SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT A FRIEND NOT KILLING YOU? HUMANS ARE SO STRANGE ...OH! I SEE NOW! THE REASON WHY YOU CARRY YOUR KNIFE LIKE THAT. IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE MORE AFRAID OF US MONSTERS THAN WE COULD EVER BE OF YOU!

He sets them down in the shed on the dog bed.

P: I’M SORRY, HUMAN! I WOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU MORE WARNING IF I HAD KNOWN HOW YOU FELT.

C: then… does that mean you’re going to let me go?

P: ABSOLUTELY NOT! I ALREADY CALLED UNDYNE TO MEET ME SO SHE CAN TAKE YOU! AND YOU NEED TO REST NOW AFTER ALL THAT!

C: !! I-I don’t know who Undyne is, but I can’t do that. I’m in a hurry to get out of here.

P: HMM… IF YOU’RE IN A HURRY THEN… NO, NO YOU CAN’T! WE NEED YOUR SOUL, I CAN’T JUST LET YOU LEAVE. UNDYNE’S REALLY COOL TOO, YOU’LL LIKE HER!

C: No, I have to go.

P: AGH, WELL… I SUPPOSE IF YOU CAN GET PAST ME BEFORE I CAN CATCH YOU, THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO. BUT I WON’T GO EASY ON YOU!

Cut to chara walking toward waterfall, papyrus calling after them to come back and hang out sometime. They keep walking and mutter to themself: Sorry, but I’ll get out of here before that ever happens.

WATERFALL

They see monster kid and side eye sans as they charge in, hurriedly.

Chara keeps flowey around and asks him to read the words for him. FLowey says it’s not important at all to anything they’re doing. It’s just monster history junk that means nothing if chara’s trying to leave. Chara’s like shut up cmon help me out maybe there's clues. FLowey reads some history stuff in waterfall treating it like shit they already know

F: why do you care about all this garbage anyway?

C: I dunno, I guess it just sounds familiar. Like a story I heard a long time ago.

Chara stops suddenly and checks their phone. Flowey asks what’s up

C: i thought it rang… you didn’t hear-

The phone starts ringing. Papyrus is cheerfully on the other end and they walk and talk.

He tells them about how he heard so many horrible things about humans and the surface but chara was much nicer than he ever expected. Chara asks where he heard that and he says a flower told him. Chara covers the receiver and looks around for flowey, suspicions of him raised.

Montage w monster kid and umbrella

Chara falls from undyne’s spear attack and wakes up in the trash with flowey over them.

F: hey, wake up. I can tell you’re not dead so hurry up and get moving.

Chara’s kind of bummed: she killed me four times back there. And it wasn’t even a fight. I couldn’t talk her down or… i couldn’t even talk to her, I could barely see her.

F: what, are you giving up or something? You know she can kill you as much as she wants and you aren’t gonna die.

C: I know that! I know this is just like a game where you can keep on going but… it hurts. And it’s exhausting.

F: what will you do then? Sit here in this trash and do nothing?

C: *sigh* no. I’m just feeling down in the dumps.

They smile and get up.

As they’re walking out, they hear a click and someone to tell them to “hold it”

Mad dummys behind them and she just has a gun. Pointed directly at chara. She starts on her thing about the cousin and then blook saves the day.

Chara meets up with blook again. They go to where the snail races used to be. It’s all busted and unused

C: what’s this supposed to be…?

B: oh…. this used to be a snail farm…. And this was a race course…. For snails…. But a long time ago people started to call the races “insensitive” so we had to close them…. Sorry you can’t have any fun racing snails…

C: why was it insensitive…?

B: ...i’d… rather not talk about it………..

Timeskip

C: hey flowey! What’s up with this place and snails?

F:...i wouldnt know.

montage

After waterfall where undyne says how many souls they have

C: flowey… if they have 6 human souls, that means 6 others fell down and died here, so…

F: what?

C: i just- i mean you were the first one i met-

F: no, no, no, ive never killed anyone. You’re the only human i’ve seen since i woke up

Chara relaxes: ok. So you dont know anything about them.

F: no. i heard some things from toriel, not much. It’s too late to try asking her, but she’s seen all of them. She was there at the beginning even.

C: the beginning?

F: you know…. When humans started falling down here and monsters started killing them.

Chara goes silent in thought: wait… how… long has this been going on? How old is toriel?

F: dunno

Chara after having a rough time: it’s hard, but no matter what happens i can just keep trying. I’ll make it out of this! You believe in me right, flowey?

F: no i think you should give up.

Page/chapter ends there. Next is chara going up to fight undyne.

Open on a riff on the “long ago” cutscene that chara cuts off by saying they already know this story

Undyne screams SHUT UP!!! I’m doing my HEROIC MONOLOGUE!! Whatever, I bet you haven’t heard the part about the King and Queen’s human child who died of illness and their other son who was killed by the humans when he tried to return their body to the surface?!

C: No I think I heard that one too? Why are you telling me all this anyways??

U: because this is an UNSKIPPABLE CUTSCENE!! NYAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!

Chara’s getting their ass beat and on low hp: I’ll die in a hit or two. But that’s fine because I’ll just start this over. I’ll start from… where was the last save point…

A vision of them with flowey. Their eyes go red and the flashback cuts in between shots of them running from undyne

F: I think you should give up

Ch: what… give up?? I thought you were on my side with all the telling me to keep going and-and the hanging out with me?!

F: as if you had any other choice but to keep going! We both know you don’t.

C: so you’ve just been following this whole time waiting for me to give up and die, huh?! Why, are you trying to steal my soul just like everybody else?!?

F: it doesn’t matter how hard you try, you’re going to die! And die and die and die! You can reset as much as you want, it won’t change that! So what if I am waiting for you to give up? You’re the last thing keeping monsters trapped down here. If you give up, you’ll give everyone what they want!

C: I thought you wanted to help me?! I thought you were my friend!

F: I would never be friends with a human! You’re all nothing but killing machines!

C: I haven’t killed anyone!

F: You killed Toriel! No number of resets can change what you did! You’re a horrible, disgusting human just like all the others and everyone would be happier if you were dead!

Flowey could say something about dying down here is better than their inevitable death on the surface. Their death would at least be worth something. Mean something

Chara escapes the fight, undyne collapses, and they walk away. they tell themselves they won’t give up. They don’t need help, especially not from that dumb flower. They’ll live to spite him and everyone else who tries to kill them

Chara goes in and meets alphys and overall is p meh abt it bc bad mood. Alphys helping them through the underground makes them talk to themselves about how they dont need flowey, they can do this themself. Friends are no good.

hotland is as normal. probably figure out some indication of things not right. make the game seem broken bc they arent supposed to get so far like this

Chara meets with sans at mtt resort for food reluctantly. Lets him say his piece. After he’s done threatening to kill them chara says to his face that they really don’t like him.

Need some hubbub about them having to kill asgore to get out. Theyll be like yeah I know that (somehow)... oh but I need a plan… how will i come up with a plan..

Flowey finally appears to chara again just before they get to new home and tries to talk them out of leaving. Disparaging the surface and telling them they could live happily down here. Chara says no, it’s too hard because people are constantly hunting them down and being the last soul, no ones going to stop that. He says that he’s sorry for the way he was before

Chara smiles back, and then looks away: What you said before… about.. My inevitable death on the surface…

F: that was… don’t worry about that.

C: are you afraid of it?

F: well- yeah, it’s a dangerous place. Everyone knows that.

C: I’ve died a lot more times down here than I ever did up there.

A beat

C: you go back and forth a lot between talking about how I should stay down here because it’s better… but also if I die down here… everyone gets to go free… to the horrible, awful surface.

F: uh,, did I say all that…? I may have contradicted myself a little… I guess… in the end I just wanted an excuse for you to stay around. I really don’t want you to die.

C: so you did see me as a friend after all?

F: well…you reminded me of someone who was my friend. I wish we could have been friends.

C: Do you think… If I reset back to the beginning and did this again, if I said the right things… we could have been?

F: No… You could be as nice to me or as mean to me as you want. No matter how many times you reset, some things never change.

C: ...Did you ever… have to reset because you killed someone?

F: ……….once… and then I never reset ever again. The power to reset… makes you do bad things. It’s wrong. I had to stop because i knew… I’d make someone really upset if I kept messing around.

C: well, in that case… I guess I’ll just have to get the rest of the way out of here without any resets!

Flowey smiles: I dunno, keep one or two under your belt. You’re a pretty big klutz.

C: Thanks for helping me out of here, flowey. Even if you just did it because you were begged.

Can you imagine a more paranoid flowey who is less interested in attacking you and regaining the reset ability, but is pleased af that you have the reset ability because that means you can't die, and instead he spends the entire game trying to convince you that humanity is hopeless. That there is nothing on the surface world returning to. That it's safer, down here.

he's part of the reason why things are so much harder

he's the one that starts the rumors about the dangers of teh surface world

there's a definite sense of paranoia all across the board

When they approach new home, flowey appears one last time and grabs chara by the hand, telling them not to go. They can live in the underground, they’ve made a lot of friends here. Chara says that they have to go, they’ll find a way to get out without killing asgore. Flowey says that he tried to stop them, this is as far as he’ll go. This is goodbye. They bid their farewells and chara goes along, but flowey secretly follows them, much less detectable than ever before. It’s revealed when he’s hiding with the flowers.

Chara walks up to new home, regarding it as a vaguely familiar sight. They walk down the many halls knowing exactly where to go. The monsters speak as they go through the motions. They find a cookbook in the kitchen with a page for snail pie missing. Chara mumbles about already knowing the story and that they should all shut up. They walk more quickly to stay ahead of them. Then one mentions the snail pie and chara stops dead in their tracks. No that’s not how it happened- they stop, and take back off.

They are stopped by sans in the judgement hall, glaring at him.

S: well I had a whole speech to give ya, but you look like you’re in a hurry. You’re a weird kid, but you’re fine. The king’s up ahead.

OTHER alternative: chara realizes something’s wrong and runs back to get everyone, probably threatening to kill asgore to convince them to come quickly. Sans is avoided due to the mob approaching behind them “I heard the word that you’re on your way to kill the king.” c: are you here to stop me? “Nah. But you’d better have a good plan to back yourself up, kid. King’s up ahead”

They run up to asgore, no nonsense. Some time is taken to progress things. As they leave the throne room, flowey watches from the flowers, chara looks back to confirm he’s there.

Asgore draws up the souls, the fight is about to engage, before he can smash “MERCY” chara yells: ASRIEL. Get the souls.

Everything stops. Flowey is behind them, stunned and confused. Chara turns and asks him what he’s waiting for. Hurry up and take the souls before everyone else gets here. Nearly every last monster is coming, if he can become godlike and absorb them, it will be enough strength to break the barrier.

Flowey is confused, how do they know that? Chara tells him he did it before. Doesn’t he remember? Doesn’t he remember them?

Either flowey does it and something happens, or flowey waits too long and chaos erupts which gets them killed, and then chara and flowey have to meet up and workshop.

Final fight:

He probably says some shit about frisk and how he cant lose frisk again, chara must insist that theyre not frisk. When they say their name is chara, he hesitates for only a moment. Finally, when chara’s pinned and about to seriously die…

C: you remember it now too, don’t you? It took me a while, I couldn’t remember a thing until i started hearing your name around. You’re an all powerful god now, you should be able to remember it all better than me

A: shut up.

C: would frisk want us to fight like this?! Would frisk want you to kill your own sibling?!

A: c-.... You’re… you’re really chara?

He lets them go

They reach the conclusion that frisk messed with everything and put them here with no memories so they could do something frisk could never do. Frisk thinks they deserve to live, no matter how much the two may disagree. They have to play along. Asriel is a god and can use his powers to break the barrier and bring EVERYONE back to life so they can live together happily.

go to final fight and everyones already there, things are very confused, flowey takes the souls and things glitch out (screen phases between bosses) and chara realizes this isnt how things are supposed to be, tells asriel theyre sorry for their baggage but he doesnt understand bc he isnt theirs, and then they gotta find frisk somehow

OR... they realize things in the speech and don't go to fight asgore bc theyre finding flowey... they feign fighting asgore and then suddenly tell flowey to take the souls("Asriel! get the souls!" and thats the first time they call him by name)...? i like that a bit better. they start going on about crazy shit that makes roided out flowey kind of lose it at them which leads to them apologizing to their own asriel but then realizing they need to find frisk

but HOW do they find frisk

The end shows chara asriel and frisk hugging eachother, all alive and well. Then the two are “processing…” and remember that oh, theyve done some dark messed up stuff.

[personasintro]

Yeah that what I was thinking too they don’t have time for a pet but a scene with a pet would be *chef kiss* maybe we can see them going with tae to adop tannie :(

+ people who wants mh to finish or for mh!jk and yn to fall for each other in the next chapter are just impatient they LOVE slow burns but only when it’s completed they would probably wish the story is longer when it’s done so if I would give you an advice write this for you ofc but also for the future readers who haven’t found the story yet the ones who’re gonna find it when it’s completed because I’m one of the impatient ones(not the rude ones) every time you update I wish there’s a major something happening related to their feelings but I know if I found it when it’s completed I would’ve enjoyed every chapter and wouldn’t want you to change a thing that’s why I’m eager to reread it when it’s done

+ I feel people started asking for jk pov a lot after jk and yn started their “friends with benefits???” Because I feel after kiko got out of the picture jk povs weren’t a lot yk?? I’m pretty sure the readers of mh jk’s version are waiting for his pov in chapter 44 to 49 and it’s because we miss the cute moments they don’t say to each other even if there wasn’t something major in his pov we just want the cutesy stuff

+ you made a drabble of how jk and yn met but I wanna know how did they became close close ykwim?? Like when did they start hanging out alone and be comfortable without their other friends because yn was Jimins bestie but now when jk needs someone to be with him they always call yn Jimin and tae in the first chapter and hoseok in the chapter where jk knew why kiko broke up with him idk if u can include it in the story or just a drabble or just tell me now because I would love to know :(

And lastly Thank u mimi your work is one of the things that keeps me going lately I literally check wattpad and tumblr every day because of u love u and I hope you enjoy writing mh as much as we enjoy reading it

Love u <333

To be completely fair, mh!taehyung is too busy with his social life to take care of a pet too🤭

It's nothing too big, they just casually started hanging out alone without jimin or taehyung, they also got along super well so that's what made it easier for them to actually become close best friends :)

Thank you so much <3

[nessinborderland]

Sleepless Nights

Pairing: Cobra x Reader

Genre: Romance/Fluff

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: Cobra never thought he deserved much in life. All he ever wanted was for his friends to be close and his home to be safe. He fought for it with all he had, but that was it. It almost felt like he was pushing his luck if he asked for much more than that. So he never did. Until you showed up.

Warnings: Smut, Light Angst, Miscommunication, Cobra thinks he's unworthy of love

Notes: This is officially my first High&Low fanfic! Not sure how to feel about it, but I kinda like it. More to come for sure. Tysm to everyone that has been enthusiastic about my passion for H&L lol, love y’all!

Cobra never thought he deserved much in life. All he ever wanted was for his friends to be close and his home to be safe. He fought for it with all he had, but that was it. It almost felt like he was pushing his luck if he asked for much more than that.

So he never did.

Until you showed up. 

It was like the sun itself had entered the diner the first time he met you. You had introduced yourself as Naomi's friend from abroad, and the ease and happiness you radiated almost made him want to greet you with a smile. And then your eyes locked and you grinned at him, and his heart skipped a beat. That's when he started falling for you.

Not that he realized it at that moment.

It took him months of watching you smile and laugh with everyone around him to realize that the butterflies in his stomach meant he was attracted to you, and that the spark of annoyance he felt when he watched a guy speak to you was jealousy. He thought it was only sexual at first, but he soon realized that it was much more than that.

He was taken aback at the realization; it made no sense to him.

You barely spoke to one another. He was sure that you didn't even particularly like him if the way you acted around him was any indicator. You caught him staring once, and the only thing you did was turn your back to him and continue laughing at something Dan said. 

That hurt him more than he cared to admit.

So he tried to bury his feelings for you. Not that anyone would notice any changes in him. He mostly kept to his corner, reading a book or talking with the guys, as quiet and stoic as ever. You being there didn't change that.

Except that he couldn't stop his eyes from wandering to you, or his attention from focusing on you every time he heard you laugh. 

"When are you gonna tell her?" Noboru interrupted his thoughts with a nudge to his shoulder. 

That's when Cobra noticed that the book he was reading had been forgotten in his lap, his eyes now on you as you played darts with Tetsu and Dan. You were smiling at them like he wished you would smile at him. He felt his ears get warm at being caught, shrugging before going back to his book.

"I don't know what you're talking about," was all he said as he pretended to keep reading.

"You can fool everyone else, but I see the way you look at her," Noboru proceeded, almost making him curse his best friend's perceptiveness, "You're not as discreet as you think you are, you know?"

Cobra took a deep breath before closing the book and making a move to stand up. He wasn't in the mood to discuss his crush or to lie to his friend.

"I'm gonna go–"

"She likes you too," those words made him stop in his tracks, before looking back at Noboru. The man was looking at you with a teasing smile pulling at the corner of his lips, "Aren't you curious to know how I know that?"

Cobra glanced at you once more before going back to his seat, arms crossed as he waited for his friend to talk.

"So, I heard Naomi and her talking about you in the kitchen the other day," Noboru started, "She thinks you don't like her because you keep avoiding her, but she definitely has a crush on you."

"Are you sure?" was all Cobra was capable of asking.

"Absolutely," his friend nodded with a chuckle, "She likes your moody ass, for whatever reason."

Cobra gulped as he thought of what you having a crush on him implied. Did that mean that he now had to talk to you about it? Did that mean that you would say yes if he asked you out? What would that even entail? His encounters with women were merely ways for him to relieve stress, nothing romantic about it.

He had no idea of what to do.

So he did the opposite of what he normally did; he ran away.

"Hmm," he grunted in final acknowledgment of his friend's words before standing up, determined to leave the diner as fast as he could, "I'm leaving. There's something I need to do."

He cringed at his own lie, ignoring Noboru's calling and everyone's stare – your stare – on him as he left into the rainy night outside. 

He liked the night. He liked the rain. It allowed him to think in peace as he made his way home, mad at himself. He was a coward, nothing but a sad man undeserving of love. He didn't even know you. He knew nothing about you, and you knew nothing about him.

So why did he care so much? Why did it hearing that you liked him filled his heart with hope?

His phone ringing made him stop under the rain, checking who it was before pressing the red button. He would find a more convincing excuse for Noboru tomorrow. His phone rang again, and again, making him sigh before finally picking up the call.

"Noboru I–"

"C-Cobra?" that was not his friend. He held his breath as he recognized your voice on the other side, "Cobra, are you okay?"

"Why are you calling me?" he didn't mean for his words to sound so harsh, but hearing the worry in your voice made him act defensive – like you had no business having any feelings towards him. He regretted it almost instantly.

"I- I'm sorry," you said before he had the chance to say anything else, "I just noticed you left in a hurry, and Noboru said that I should try and talk to you so… are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he said, "I just had to leave."

"Okay," there was an awkward pause where neither of you said anything. He opened his mouth to finally say something when you said, "Can I- Can I have your number?"

"My number?" he asked, confused.

"Only if you want to!" you rushed to say. That's when he noticed the anxiety in your voice. Was he making you nervous? "You don't have to. But, you know, if you want to talk… I can talk."

He was in bed hours later after speaking with you on the phone. He hadn't been willing to say much else besides letting you have his number, and he regretted it now. He couldn't sleep, too restless to even lay still. It just wouldn't happen for him; not tonight. His head was full of thoughts of you and what-ifs.

What if this was all a misunderstanding?

What if you actually liked him?

What if he couldn't protect you?

What if he hurt you?

What if, what if, what if.

His phone buzzing broke him out of overthinking. He reached for his phone, his heart skipping a beat as he saw a message from an unknown number.

Is this Cobra?

Y/N?

Yes! How're you feeling?

fine. it's 3 AM

Omg, I'm so sorry! Were you asleep?

nah. can't sleep. u? 

Can't either.

He didn't know how to keep the conversation going. Did he even want to? His phone buzzed with a new message before he could think too much about it.

Can I ask you something?

sure

Are you mad at me?

no. why do u ask?

I'm not sure, it just seems that I made you uncomfortable and I would like to apologize if I ever did something to you.

u didn't do anything. i'm just not really the approachable type 

Ahh that makes me more relaxed xD can we start over then? Friends?

Friends. Friends. You wanted to be friends. That was fine by him. He wouldn't mind being friends with you.

do u like me?

are u passing by the diner tomorrow?

I am! Wanna have lunch together? :)

sounds good

See ya tomorrow then! Goodnight <3

A heart emoji. Didn't those mean something? What did it mean? What did any of this mean? He reread your convo one, two, three times, now with one hundred percent certainty that you had asked him out for lunch.

He definitely couldn't fall asleep after that.

He rarely ever felt as nervous as he was then, entering Itokan to be greeted by your smile. He joined you at the table, happy that it was only you two and a few other patrons that barely paid him any mind.

Except for Naomi, that sent him a knowing smile as she got your lunch orders.

"Got some sleep last night?" it was the first thing you asked him as you sat across from each other. He nodded, even though it was a complete lie, and asked you the same, "Not really," you laughed, "Had a lot on my mind."

He hummed, wondering if you were as nervous as he was to meet. If what Noboru said was true, that was definitely a possibility, wasn't it? 

You didn't look nervous at all, though. Not to him, at least. You laughed and smiled and talked like he was the most interesting company on earth, even though he barely said a thing. 

It felt comfortable, though. It felt right.

"You have a really pretty smile, you know?" your statement caught him off guard, and that's when he realized that he was full-on smiling at something you were saying. He felt his ears get red immediately, unsure if he should just accept the compliment or try to figure out what you meant by it.

"Thanks?" he said, unsure, "You're pretty too," he decided to add in a hurry, blushing all over his face at realizing what he had said. Was he ever this awkward? His gang would laugh in his face if they saw him right now.

"Thanks," you said with a laugh. Your reaction made him relax almost instantly, and you were soon back to talking and enjoying your food together.

He had to admit, he could get used to this.

You kissed him first.

You had invited him to your home one night when neither of you could sleep. He didn't think much of it; it wasn't the first time you spent time together, just talking.

But that night was different.

It was just a push of your lips against his, but he wanted more. So he did what he had wanted to do for months and pulled your face closer, consuming your mouth with his. You moaned as he kissed you, pressing your body closer to his, making him feel like he was on fire.

It was intoxicating.

"Bedroom?" you asked once your lips parted for breath. He quickly nodded as he went back to kissing you, now with a newfound passion. 

He couldn't stop himself from kissing down your body as soon as he got you naked, wanting to taste you, to be consumed by your essence. And you let him do it like he hoped you would, moaning his name exactly like you did in his dreams when he was lonely and all he had was his hand and fantasies of you.

But you felt nothing like you did in his dreams. His hand could never compare to the warm tightness of your cunt around him, or how your body shivered and trembled at every thrust of his hips against yours.

"Please don't stop," your begging was music to his ears, "Please, I'm so close."

He did just what you desired.

He didn't stop until you came one, two, three times, cunt clenching around his cock and his name on your lips. He was almost blind from pleasure, wanting to finish but too afraid to do so. Your relationship wouldn't be the same after this, and it scared him.

He thought he passed out when he finally came, moaning and shaking as you held him in your arms. 

"Can I tell you something?" you whispered after you were both exhausted and sore, more than ready for sleep to take you. 

He grunted a yes, burying his face in your hair; he didn't want to face you when you told him you regretted this. You took a deep breath and hugged him closer, pressing your face against his chest.

"I think I'm in love with you."

He froze. He knew that was a possibility. He knew you liked him. He just never expected you to tell him that you loved him. That was… a lot. A lot of things he wasn't sure how to process.

"Are you sure?..." he settled for asking. He needed for you to be sure.

"Y-Yes I'm sure," you rushed to say, looking up at him, "I really like you."

All he could think of doing was kissing you. That was the only thing on his mind at that moment; showing you how he felt without using words he had no idea how to use. You kissed him back just as hard until you were both out of breath.

"Does this mean you like me too?" you whispered against his lips, foreheads pressed together. You giggled when he pecked your lips, hugging you closer.

"Yeah," he said, cheeks hurting from how hard he was smiling, "I like you a lot."

[copias-thrall]

How would Mary goore react to hurting someone he genuinely cares about? I absolutely Love your writing!💕

Hello, nonny! Thank you, I love this ask!

This was going to be  alist, but it got away from me! 😅 

Enjoy 😘 

It wasn’t anything big.

Just a few of Mary’s favorite beers (the craft kind—not the shitty beer he drank on his shoestring budget), some of that chronic shit you’d scored and have been saving for a special occasion, and a VHS box set of horror movie classics.

***

Mary comes in and out of your life at will, and that was something you accepted—knowing he was As Is or not at all. And honestly—no, really—you liked that. You had your own shit going on, and being Mary’s expected caregiver was NOT something you wanted to add to that list.

(If someone else wanted to try to tame him and pick up after him, well…kudos to them. Less work for you.)

Mary showed up on your pivotal days and he rubbed your feet and always invited you out to trivia. You'd held him when he was coming down from a bad trip and listened to his grievances and gave him a place to stay when he was persona non grata at his own. And in a way, that made you always feel like #1 in Mary’s world…and that was good enough for you.

***

A few months ago, Mary had been lying on your couch, picking the label off his beer bottle.

“I’m gonna be away for a bit,” he’d said.

“Oh?” you’d responded as you’d mashed the controls on your gaming controller.

“Yeah. I mean, I’ll be around…but I got some shit going on.”

You’d paused your game.

“Bad shit?”

He’d waved you off.

“Neg. Just tryna get myself out there. Signed up for open mics and shit.”

He’d shifted, his long legs receding from around you and folding under him.

“So, like…I got my job at the bowling alley…but nights and weekends are kinda shot.”

You’d tried not to let the disappointment show on your face. You supported Mary’s dreams, and that meant not making an issue that he was finally trying to do something about them.

This wasn’t against you. It was for him.

When you’d taken too long to respond, his face had scrunched.

“But if you want—”

“It’s fine, Mare,” you’d said as you’d made yourself smile. “This is important to you, so it’s important to me.”

You’d unpaused your game.

“Just don’t expect me to not beat this game without you.”

He’d grabbed the controller out of your hands with a snarl, causing you to cry out when you died.

“Fuck the game.” His hand had fisted your shirt. “Give me a night to remember.”

You had. Twice.

***

Mary had texted you occasionally over the next few weeks—a few memes, a few drunken key-smashes, a dick pic, and 2 grainy videos of his performances for critique—but such contact was sporadic, and you’d never seen him in real-time. 

He’d blown in one night, five weeks in, with a box of pizza just as you'd been heading out to meet your crew. When you’d told him you’d made plans, he’d looked so crestfallen that you’d caved and canceled on them.

While he’d been there, he’d given you a date in 3 weeks.

“That Saturday I have nowhere to be,” he’d said as he’d chewed. “I can spend the whole day with you.”

You’d been careful not to seem too eager.

“Oh yeah? Should I plan shit?”

He’d crammed the whole crust into his mouth and had given you a doughy grin.

“Why ’’ya think I told you?”

You didn’t know what you’d expected, but when he’d had to bounce 90min later, you were still surprised. (That was hardly enough time to digest!)

“Sorry,” he’d winced. “I gotta be on a bus in 45min.”

He’d left, and you’d been too embarrassed to join your friends who were only just going to the second bar.

Having fun with your man ;) ? one of your friends had texted.

What do you think? You’d texted back before changing into your pjs and turning on Netflix.

***

So maybe you were low-key excited about your day with Mary.

Perhaps you’d spent those 3 weeks figuring out the perfect date—something that said, “I missed you,” without saying “But in a clingy way.”

Beer and horror were two things the both of you were totally into, and you knew he’d be exhausted, so it seemed perfect. You’d bought the boxed set off of eBay and splurged for expedited shipping; you’d borrowed your brother’s old dual TV/VCR from his college days; and you’d forgone your weekly Chinese takeout for the craft beer funds. (And if things got steamy, well…even better.) 

***

A few days before The Date, you’d run into Mary on the bus. You were coming home from a shift, and he was going to his.

He’d brightened and waved you over—as if you weren’t already on your way—and you’d plopped down beside him with a tired grin. You’d told him of the latest entitled asshole, and he’d showed you another clip of him on guitar.

Before your stop had come up, you’d tentatively placed your hand over his.

“We still on for Saturday?”

He’d blinked at you a few moments before grinning.

“Yeah.”

“Should I plan a whole day for us, then?”

His arm had crept around your shoulders before pulling you into him to kiss your temple.

“Yeah, why not.”

***

That morning, you wake up happy. 

Mary will be over soon.

You roll over and grab your phone.

When should I expect you? :-* 

It takes him an hour to respond. You aren’t surprised—Mary isn’t known for being a morning person—so when your phone dings, you grab it up excitedly.

An excitement that dies when you read his text. And reread. And re-reread.

not 2day 

goin upste 2 show 

You blink.

What show? Didn’t we confirm? 

yeah. got me thinkin 

why no show? 

so i chked 

i missed one 

gotta do it 

Rage blooms hot, then cold behind your eyes and down your cheeks.

But you said we had the whole day. I made plans. 

save em 

ths is impt 2 me 

We’ve had this planned for weeks. 

i thot u suprted me 

on a bus cnt tlk 

You send a few more irate texts, but he doesn’t respond, and you toss your phone across the room with a shout of frustration. You scrub the hot tears from your eyes before they can fall.

And…on paper, Mary isn’t wrong. Nothing you had planned won’t keep: movies, beer, takeout.

But…

It gives you a stark look at what you mean to Mary. He gave you this date and confirmed it. He knew you were making plans.

How long was he going to wait to tell you he wasn’t even in the city anymore?

You fight the urge to kick the VHS tapes across the floor, but you open the fridge and grab a beer. If Queen Elizabeth could have beer for breakfast, then it was good enough for you.

Once you’ve downed all eight, you move on to the jug of vodka you keep for cleaning.

When you empty only liquid from your stomach into the toilet, you grab your frozen fries out of the freezer. You roll a handful of the cold ones in your mouth as you wait for the others to crisp in the oven, and once you’ve consumed the cooked ones, you go right back to the vodka.

***

Opening your eyes the next morning is a mistake, so you take a few deep breaths and go back to sleep.

When you wake again, your heart is fluttering, your stomach turns, and it feels like there’s an ice pick behind one eye. Shuffling slowly, you make your way out to your kitchen where you take some painkillers, drink some pickle juice, and eat two slices of plain bread.

The sense that you did something awful stays with you, but you’re in no condition to find your phone and see what you’ve done. Instead, you go back to bed. It takes more deep breathing to settle yourself, but once you do fall asleep, you’re out for hours.

You don’t feel amazing when you swim to consciousness again, but you feel at least like a human being. 

Your phone is dead when you find it under the sink, and waiting the 5 or so minutes for it to charge feels like waiting to face the executioner.

It’s both better and worse than you expected.

You breathe a sigh of relief to see that there are no vague social media posts, and you didn’t drunk dial any of your friends, but…

The texts to and from Mary are ugly.

Apparently, you’d managed not to send him angry texts until he’d sent you another clip of his performing. But then the floodgates had opened.

You’d started with telling him you didn’t give a shit about the show, how he was an inconsiderate ass, and then you'd devolved into incomprehensible, typo-ridden texts that accused him of using you, that you were only something to do when he didn’t have anything better to do, that he was an entitled man-child and if he didn’t apologize, you were done.

Mary’s texts in response range from him being angry at your disregard, to heated retorts you were blowing this out of proportion (and he didn’t appreciate your “ad hominem” attacks), to a cool detachment that this wasn’t working over text and he’d finish this in person.

You put your head in your hands but are too dehydrated to cry.

***

Mary doesn’t text you again during his self-imposed time frame.

You don’t text him either, but that’s more out of self-preservation than pride. There’s no point exacerbating the situation…and you’re pretty sure there’s no coming back from this, so why speed up the inevitable?

The horror tapes taunt you every time you walk by them, and you wonder if you can return them (you can’t). You give the TV back to your brother, and when he asks you how it went, you plaster a smile on your face and say, “Great!” with forced enthusiasm you hope comes across as genuine.

The primo weed goes over to your friend’s house, and the two of you wax poetic all night about existential claptrap as you devour two cheese pizzas and a bag of bbq chips. You talk about Mary without talking about Mary, and you get a heartfelt, “Sorry, dude.”

You beat the video game anyway, but it’s mostly because you needed something to occupy your mind and less out of spite (though that’s there as well).

***

Despite waiting on tenterhooks to hear anything from Mary, you truly don’t really expect to. You know you’d been atrocious, even if it had been prompted by his careless disregard, and you know Mary isn’t really the kind of guy that troubles himself with relationships that are hard.

Not that you’re in a relationship.

So when there’s a knock on your door a week later and Mary’s behind it, you’re genuinely surprised.

You gape through the peephole in shock.

“Fuck. If you’re there, just let me in, ok?”

Fumbling with the chain, you unlock the door and crack it open.

“Mary?”

“You gonna let me in?” he rasps.

You shrug and step away from the door, and he shuffles inside. He looks around like you’ve changed anything (you haven’t), before turning around to face you.

You close the door and stare back.

He folds his arms. “Breaking up with someone over text is tacky.”

What you think is, So you’ve come to do it in person, but what you say is, “Can’t break up if you’re not together.”

He winces and runs his fingers through his hair. 

“Yeah…apparently I’ve ‘taken advantage' of you.”

This…isn’t what you’re expecting.

“I…what?”

“Can we sit down?”

You nod, and Mary sits rigidly on the edge of your couch. You curl up in the chair on the opposite side.

He rubs his palms down his greasy jeans before he speaks.

“I mean…you pissed me off, ok?”

You nod.

“But, like—you weren’t wrong, ok? I kinda knew that deep down, but I’m a dumbass, you know?”

You don’t nod.

“And I kinda bitched about the whole thing…but the resounding response was that I was the asshole.”

He angles his body toward you.

“I guess I’ve kinda been treating you like my best friend that I fuck sometimes.”

Your entire face flushes—you’d always thought you’d maybe ranked a little higher than that—and you duck your head so he can’t see the tears that you blink back.

There’s a swish of fabric, and you startle hard when Mary’s hand is at your chin. He jerks back with a Sorry.

“Shit—that’s not what I…” he blows out a breath and puts his hands behind his head before looking back up at you.

“But you aren’t, and…fuck this is harder than I thought.”

So this is it.

Waiting for him to do the deed is clearly going to be excruciating, so you take charge of this whole shit-show.

“I understand,” you say flatly.

“You do?”

“It’s ok, Mare-Mary. It’s my own fault for reading too much into it. I just…I saw what I wanted to see, I guess. I know you don’t need…” you look down into your lap, “…my shit in your life.

He makes a noise low in his throat, and then he’s squatting in front of you, his hot hands planting on your knees.

“But I want your shit in my life.”

You squint your eyes at him.

“But what I said…”

He grasps your hands in his.

“Pissed me off, yeah…cuz I wasn’t fucking thinking, ok? You’re like one of the only people who gives a crap about what’s important to me. And all I could see was you suddenly…not.”

Anger wells up in you again, and you yank away your hands.

“Weeks, Mary…weeks of you all over the tri-state area, and you thought I didn’t care because of one night?! A night you promised to me?”

He sits back on his heels. “I know…fuck. Ok? At the time, it just felt…like the show couldn’t be rescheduled. Our night could.”

Because you’re what he does when he’s bored.

You curl in on yourself.

“Shit.” He leans forward again. “Fuck, I’m sorry, ok? I’m fucking on my knees here.”

You blink at him. 

What? 

“Please, please don’t break—say we’re done.”

“What?”

“Look, we can go into my shitty fucking psychological profile on why I fuck around later…but right now I need you to know that I knew it was you before I fucking knew it was you.”

You uncurl.

“That…’what’ was me?”

He knees forward and presses your hands to his face.

“The one I wanna spend my free time with. The one whose opinion means the most. The one who was the first person I wanted to share all my good shit with. You’re the one I missed, and—after that awful fucking night—everything felt pointless because I knew I couldn’t come over and jam about it.”

“Mare—what are you saying?”

“I’m saying I’m a fucking dumbass. I’m saying I thought I was pissed at you, but I was pissed at myself for fucking it up.” He sighs. “I’m saying no fucking one was on my side and they all told me to get my shit together.”

He looks up at you with wide eyes, and for the first time, you can see how they’re outlined in red, his subtle crow’s feet more pronounced.

“So, you’re not done with me? I’m not…too much trouble?”

He shakes his head in disbelief. “What? Shit, no. I’m asking you to not be done with me. I’ll give you all the nights you want. Fucking text me, and my ass’ll be here posthaste.” He shifts up, and his thumb ghosts over your lips. “Anything to get you to give me that secret smile again.”

“Secret smile?” you ask while trying to perform the action.

Mary actually blushes.

“Uh…yeah. You get this…” he makes a motion across his face, “…when you’re giving it back to me.” His fingers shove back through his hair as he casts his eyes down. “You don’t give it to anyone else.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I’ve made a study of it.”

You’re a swirl of emotions. Mary’s apologized—has admitted he was wrong and has asked for…more—but you’re still hurt. And embarrassed.

But he’s looking up at you with wet, hopeful eyes.

“Do you…” you start carefully, “…do you know why I got so mad?”

That statement was clearly not what he was expecting, and he blinks at you a few times before nodding and looking down at the floor.

“I made a…uh, commitment…to you. And I treated it like it didn’t mean anything.”

He gives you a look like, Did I get it right? and that’s close enough—even if he’s missing some of the nuance.

You nod. “And I know I…wasn’t…the best.”

His face contorts, and your heart sinks.

“You…” he shakes his head. “You said some awful things…some hurtful shit—and it really got in my head.”

Mary gives you a complicated look.

“Shit that you’d been pissed about for a while.” He traces your knee. “Shit you could’ve said to me…but shit I should have noticed. Fuck.” He presses his forehead into your knees, and you can’t stop yourself from sinking your fingers into his hair.

He takes it as encouragement and presses into you before looking up again.

“I just kinda wanna put that whole night behind us. It feels like a fucking ouroboros of fault. And like maybe I created it. But let’s agree to like…not do that again.”

You look down at him, and his eyes search your face.

“Ok…but what does all this mean, Mare? I can’t…I need to be something to you, ok? More than just your friend.”

Mary nods emphatically, and he takes your hand and curls his into it.

“No more fuck-ups, and no one else…can we start there?”

He’s saying all the right words, but you’re still trepidatious—you know Mary, and he doesn’t like constraints.

“I…just…how can I believe you?”

He shakes his head like he can’t believe you even have to ask. He rises and awkwardly reaches out to touch your face before drawing his hand back.

“Cuz you’re important to me. I care about you, and I don’t want to lose you. Ever.”

And yeah. Ok.

[sukirichi]

Sukiiiiii!! It’s been loongg-ish—sorry for not being able to play genshin with u tho whdiwhdiwniss I usually see u offline when I go on

This is kinda late too since I think the current chapter hype is done but it also has its benefits tho AHAHHAHAHAHA anywhoo this might get kinda long so *clears throat*

U DONT KNOW HOW SHOCKED I WAS, THAT MY TUMBLR WAS SUDDENLY EXPLODING IN NOTIFS—Upon reading them, it was about DTD—I LITERALLY FREAKED OUT AND IMMEDIATELY LOOKED FOR THE LATEST UPDATE

Like I see people raging and fangirling left and right in my dashboard—I knew I had to immediately read the current update

You don’t know how much I laughed at the ending—It was just so satisfying after the pain that YN had to go thru snsidneondowndojw—tbh I have mixed feelings with Oikawa—poor Maiko, but I see Oikawa stans rising from left and right—Im afraid it has rubbed off on me for a bit bc as I was thinking up of this angst story—I was like “Now, who should the guy be?” My mind immediately shouted “OIKAWA” now the thing is Oikawa aint even my favorite Character HAHAHAHAHAHA

OKAY THEN WHEN I SAW U ANSWERING THE PRINCES TYPE IN WOMEN—When I literally saw Kita’s I went “Screw being a princess like YN LET ME BE A MAID LIKE AIRI PLEASE MY KITAAAAA 😩😩😩😩” and upon seeing them I literally went “Yeah it’s safe to say I won’t be their type (Kita included) :”DD

Okay and also Im too lazy to reread the whole thing, but can u confirm pls confirm if I recall correctly—Iris is merely their childhood friend, and she has no royal blood—making her unfit to marry any of the princes—cuz she’s from Itachiyama???? and she married Kiyoomi to keep some royal secret that can stir a major scandal. Tbh I might be mixing it up with the old DTD 🤡🤡🤡🤡

ORAYT DAZ ALL FROM ME SUKII KEEP SAFE AND ALWAYS STAY HEALTHY AND HYDRATEDDD!!

With lots of love,

-🎧

HEADPHONES ANON! ah sorry about that, you were online the other day but i had to log out because i was being called 😭

also yes omg we have oikawa stans here and I LOVE THEM. i’m gonna keep all oikawa stans in my pocket and feed them tooru x yn crumbs. LMAOOO oikawa might just be your fav prince tho, i hope! he’s my favorite here because his character (for me, anyways) is just !! he’s amazing. i love him. in another universe i would have wished we loved him instead. 

and no omg you would be their type!! just be a good person and you’re bound to be noticed by one of them! for iris, though, she’s not exactly a childhood friend. she met the princes in high school so they were all nearly adults then (like 16-18) and has no royal or noble blood. legally speaking, she’s not allowed to marry a royal family member because she’s a citizen from itachiyama. kiyoomi was allowed to be prince because his father, the king, never married his mother and royal children with itachiyama blood/citizenship don’t really fall into the clause of the law marrying a royal or a noble. kiyoomi is already part of the royal family as a birthright.

STAY SAFE ALWAYS TOO AND KEEP HYDRATED!! i’m genuinely sorry if i’m annoying on genshin because i often ask to play but then i’m offline for hours  😭

[saintobio]

i´ve been waiting for so long to leave an ask here :d. i really love sn and its one of my favorites series rn, i really adore how you put the characters and the amount of detail and work that you put in it is the best and makes me think that this would look in the big screen or something like that cuz ive never seen a plot so messy (in a good way haha i really love the twists and development to every single character including the ones that dont play a huge role into the novel) hope i can read++

++ more of it and see what is gonna be at the end !! <33 im glad i found this work ( ill tell u my final thoughts at the end of the series or at least at the end of the 1st season haha)

@japanesevenom said

saint holy shit it’s been a while since I’ve caught your inbox after reading a chapter and I’ve got to say…. I’m speechless I having nothing to give apart from tears and the broken pieces of my heart god damn I mean we knew it all from the start but I’m still really hurt by the revelation honestly you’re going to give me a heart condition it’s not healthy for my heart to hurt this much I feel like It’s caged in metal im crying

But oh my god I love sad desperate satoru it’s truly questionable how much I reread his reaction to the divorce announcement and now to this something about men when they’re begging for forgiveness and professing their love that hits different well I love u

Damn… at least we had lots of fluff on his birthday now we got to figure out custody of the baby my god

Anonymous said

This isn’t really an ask but thank you so much for writing Sincerely Not, I never knew a post that I happened to fall upon at 3 am one morning would take over about 4 months of my life. It’s crazy that it’s coming to an end and I’m excited to see what you have in store for us readers !! Take care 💛💛💛

Anonymous said

im nervous for sn2 omg >///< also tmi was listening to this song "i love you so - the walters" and reminded me of sn ❤️ thank you sm for the great series saint!!! i hope ur getting enough rest stay safe 💟

Anonymous said

i haven’t been able to interact or read the latest chapters because of uni but just wanted to check in! hope you’re doing good and that your days are well Saint!

-🦢

@natsukashii-ai said

Yayy!! finally! i just wanted to addressed your AMAZING work for “sincerely not” wow such a treat 💖 keep the good work sweetie ✌🏻

Anonymous said

i havent written an ask in so so so so long because i know you have a lot on your plate and didnt wanna add to it but i just want you to know that your works are absolutely amazing, ik you hear it from many people already but i just wanna say i appreciate you a whole lot. you stories are fucking amazing i dont know how many times I've reread all of them already. sincerely not keeps me going lately its something that i look forward to every week something that makes me wanna get up everyday 😭😭 i love u and ur works so much words arent enough!!

@sin-with-quiche said

I just want to say I'm a huge fan of this story. I love everything you put into it. The thought, the dedication, the love. I'm sure us readers can feel all of it. I recommended this to my friend, and she absolutely loves it too. We fangirl & discuss about the story! I swear to God, you have first class material to make this into an excellent drama! Do take care of yourself, and don't mind the negative remarks. I love you & your work so much!!! <3(btw I sent another ask long ago, hope u read it!)

THANK YOUUUU SO MUCH 😭😭😭 sn1 is ending soon and i’m really grateful for the love u guys have given this series <33 i appreciate the feedback and support !!

[whoreshijima]

hello!!!! congrats on 250, babe. you're great and I love youuuuuuu😘😘

may I please request kuroo and reader spending time together after their schedules keep them busy for a long time? nsfw, if you're able 😊

Bee bby of course U can! Thank you so much for being there for me constantly putting up with me thirsting all up in your messages 😂 I’m so glad we’re friends!

CW// fem!reader, established relationship, slight daddy kink, unprotected sex

‘I’m gonna be late home again, baby, I’m sorry’

You reread the message over and over, you were so excited to finally spend the evening with your husband. He’s been working so hard, tiring himself out. He’d come home and collapse in the bed, snoring before you can even thinking about climbing into bed with him.

You had the whole evening planned out, his favourite food was waiting in the oven, you ordered it early so it was definitely here for when he arrived. His favourite red, Lacy lingerie was hiding underneath the hoodie and sweats you wore, you couldn’t wait for him to see it, knowing how excited it gets him. With a groan you pull yourself up from the couch and wander to the bedroom, stripping yourself, pulling on the comfiest pyjama set and climbing into bed. It was cold without Kuroo, hugging his pillow close.

‘Foods in the oven for you, don’t be too late home’

Reading the text over, Kuroo sighs, his keys pushing into the lock and opening the door silently. He doesn’t care about the food, he just wants to hold you, wrap you up in his arms and never let you. Walking through the house, he sees the candles on the table, his favourite take out warming in the oven. He feels awful, awful that you stay up waiting for him and he’s never here. Silently entering the room, his eyes gaze to the pile of clothes sat on the floor. He sees red and lace and his heart shatters. Stripping quickly and as quietly as possible, he slides under the sheets. Strong arms meet your skin and you’re being pulled into his embrace “missed you” he mutters out, hands rubbing circles into your back and hips.

Looking up at your husband, you kiss his cheek softly “I’m just glad you’re home Testuro...” your lips meet his gently, pulling him closer. Kissing your husband after barely seeing him feels like heaven. “I’m sorry I’ve been away so much” he whispers, running a hand through your hair as your forehead rests against one another’s* “make it up to me then” you giggle out, teasing him “oh baby... you don’t know what you’ve just done” The grin on his face making your heart flutter as he pulls you into his lap, strong hands winding their way to your hips and thighs, pulling you close against him.

Your lips crash against each other’s, moans and whimpers escaping your lips as Kuroos strength holds your hips close, moving them against each other. You can feel him growing inside his boxers, your stomach doing flips at the idea of his cock filling you up “please” you whimper, Kuroo moving to lick up and down your neck “please what baby? What do you want?” He teases, his fingers dancing along your shorts, dipping in slowly, long fingers rubbing between your slick folds “so wet for me already... gonna make you feel so good” he grunts against your neck as he lays you down, pulling your shorts off and kissing down your chest and stomach “so good for me baby” he mutters, spreading your legs wide.

His lips attach themselves to your clit suddenly, his expert tongue rolling around your soaked pussy. The vibrations of his groaning against you making the band in your stomach tighten, muscles tensing under his touch. Two fingers push inside you slowly, curling perfectly to hit the bundle of nerves that make you see stars “fuck, ah-! Fuck daddy...” you moan out, gripping his hair tight in your fists as you gush all over his fingers, pushing his head away weakly from your sensitive cunt “please I need more... need your cock daddy please” you whine.

Kuroo could never say no to you, his sweet angel, eagerly pulling his boxers off and kissing you deeply “gonna stuff you full, fuck” he groans, running his solid length through your soaking cunt “so gorgeous... all mine. Your pussys begging for it. Begging for Me” he grunts against your lips as he pushes in, inch by inch making you feel more full. You’re surrounded by Kuroo, his biceps surround your head, arms pinned above your head. You could smell him, his rich aftershave filling your senses. You could feel him inside you, throbbing against your sensitive and gummy walls. He pulls his hips back before sheathing himself inside you again, setting a strong pace against your pussy. The way his cock kisses your cervix and how your pussy clamps down around him everytime he enters you drives him mad “you take such good care of me baby, taking my cock so well” he grunts out in between thrusts “gonna fill you up” two large fingers reaching down to rub small circles on your clit, making you arch your back, black spots blurring your vision as you cum around his thick cock. The way he abused your spot making you clench around him, sending him over the edge and cumming deep inside you, holding you tight to himself “fuck... fuck baby... god I love you” Kuroo kisses you deeply, running his hands through your hair and looking at you.

“I love you so much...” kissing your forehead he pulls out slowly as not to hurt you “how does a bath and take out sound? Hm?” He picks you up gently and carries you to the bathroom, placing you on the sink counter before running the water “I love you too Tetsuro” you whisper, smiling “Just don’t spend so long away again...”

Hope you enjoyed Bee! Loving needy Kuroo is something I crave ahahaha, please he’d take such good care of you 🥺🥺

SEND ME A CHARACTER, A SITUATION AND IF YOU WANT IT NSFW OR SFW (250 followers!!!)