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#free me from the prison that is my brain
full-of-malice · 8 months
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it's another day where fang wants to talk about his fucking unhinged thoughts on miguel o'hara enjoy this headcanon list i have Proof [projection] on all of these actually and also this has to do with random goofy thoughts that i've had about them
these headcanons are all sfw and mainly either very character-centric or fatherhood-centric
he's asexual and arospec.
he has vitiligo [reasoning being that vitiligo is a skin condition triggered by a many things included auto immune issues, along outside sources including intense periods of trauma and stress. my personal headcanon is that he already had auto immune issues and then the trauma of losing his daughter caused him to get vitiligo]
transmasc.
autistic [i don't make the rules all spider-people are trans and/or autistic sorry]
he makes damn good mexican hot chocolate for gabi. he no longer has made it since her passing
he has ptsd
he was very invested in gabi's soccer games and tried his hardest to attend every single one and support her
his motivations rely primarily on guilt and moral obligation that he needs to repay for what he has done
he's a workaholic which plays into his issues of disregarding his own health and safety, and having a fucked up list of priorities and of importance and meaning, being goal oriented without caring how he gets there
he no longer views himself as a human due to the way he turned himself into a super-powered spider-man. this self image got even worse after gabi died
some of these are my very personal headcanons and others are me just rephrasing canon because i can't remember all my personal takes on him because my memory Sucks
i'm a simple man i see a mentally fucked up and traumatized man and i take him in as my own blorbo
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ev-writes-things · 3 months
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*taps mic and clears throat* hello... is this thing on...
so. hualian coffee shop au, but three parts. first part hualian, second fengqing, and third quanyinxuan or yinxuan. would anyone read this. SUDHFUHD
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several-ravens · 4 months
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post season 2 horny rant about elias don't click if it's going to upset you
MY HUSBAND. A MURDERER. who would have thought???
so it was him at the murderous end of that pipe. good for him
when i tell you i screamed when he walked into the room. i mean damn he can talk to me like that whenever he wants. HIS VOICE??? and that little evil speech at the beginning oooooh that's enough to kill me
maybe he didn't need to murder leitner as well but also who am i to stop him? like eurgh brotha eurgh but also ooooh baby heaven is a place on earth like that one remix that's on tiktok atm
AND because that wasn't enough, on top of being evil and fucked up he's also very powerful
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excuse me but that's hot af. his place of power should be me.
(i have a thing for evil powerful men in case that wasn't clear)
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piizunn · 5 months
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you graduate but you never escape ignorant white settler academics
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wyrm-with-a-why · 3 months
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I love making personas. I love being anything that isn’t me
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lunar-lair · 2 years
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a spark.
a moment.
mikeys always known leo trusts them. trusts them and cares for them, with everything he has.
he cares for people, loves them a lot. trusts them.
but does he trust the way leo trusts?
its a question hes always had. one day, he asked, because of course he did, leo would understand.
he always understands, too. no matter what.
he only laughed. "Well, maybe, but what's it really matter? You trust how you trust, I trust how I trust. Simple as that."
mikey, still 11 and still as curious as ever, still asked again, "Well, how do you trust?"
leo pulled mikey into a one armed hug and grinned, crooked and a little warm, like when he means it. "With everything I've got." he waved an arm, looking up. "You say you could catch the stars, I'd believe you." he looked down at mikey again. "You get me?"
mikey pouted. 
he didnt.
and then, leo lost a key, and the earth came crashing down around them. (or...floating above them? most of nyc did, anyways.) and mikey learned a lot that day, but there was something. something small, yet important.
its what helped him get his brother out of there after all.
he thought, for a moment, about how much trust leo had to have in them to leave this world to them. to trust them to keep it safe, and love in it, and build it back up, and move on. how much he trusted them, to jump in there headfirst, like theyd just bounce right back and catch him, like they always caught each other. how much he trusted them, throughout all of this, the little ways he always does.
how much he trusted casey, to be able to do that after everything hed been through.
and he thought, then, about how he trusts. how he looks at someone and knows they have a heart, how he understands immediately that everyone and everything is important, innately.
but he trusts that way with everyone. and theres a deeper, bluer, ocean type of trust his brothers get, a forever belief theyll be by his side and understand, but he doesnt...he doesnt trust them to do what he says, or to do what he thinks they will, or to do things they dont even know they can do.
'you say you could catch the stars, id believe you.'
mikey doesnt trust like that. mikey loves and gives and cares. and so does leo.
but mikey doesnt trust like that. none of them do.
has leo been trusting and trusting, holding a hand out, without them ever seeing? without them ever giving back?
how well do they know leo? how much do they trust him?
mikey thinks.
before today, he might not have trusted leo not to botch a simple mission.
and his heart sinks.
part of his mind grumbles, well, he does that himself, and the more, intensely aware part huffed back, you know hes only been acting the way he has because hes not fit for this, right? and it finally coalesces and he thinks, 'i shouldve trusted him anyways.'
it hits him in the face. its a ton of little pieces falling together in a split second. leo trusts them without a doubt through thick and thin, through everything. he doesnt care how they act, what they do, why they do it, that doesnt matter.
theyre his brothers. theyre family.
and he knows theyll pull through, no matter what.
hes expecting them to pull through. hes trusting, with everything hes got, mikey knows. knows because he doesnt quite understand like leo does, but he nearly does. he understands the emotions and the insides.
and he knows leo trusted them, with everything he had.
trusts them, he bites back, and raises his hands before he can think much else.
leos trusting them to pull though. leos given his all for them, this whole time.
mikey just has to give back.
and when leo holds a hand up to him, the way he barely looks back when the kraang barrel towards them, he sees a glimpse of that.
mikeys caught the stars, and leo isnt one bit surprised.
leos saved the day, and hes back, and mikey is, somehow, unsurprised.
leos caught the stars, changed his ways, and lived again, and mikey knew he could. knew he would.
he wonders if this is what its like to trust unconditionally.
when he asks leo later, hell laugh, tired yet boisterous, not quite the way he was before all this but close, and rest a hand on mikeys hand from his bed in the infirmary.
"Yeah, I guess it is, huh?"
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castielafflicted · 1 year
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I've written 5k words in the past 7 hours. I'm so fucking tired but my brain isn't done writing.
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thesunoficarus1 · 7 months
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who up rn fighting demons (mental illness and maybe like, a crush idk)
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eirian · 9 months
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its a lil funny how me worrying about whether or not me wanting to work on a certain project is unhealthy has somehow turned unhealthy in itself bc now i dont feel good working on anything. great
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milkloafy · 3 months
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I COULD BE YOUR CRUSH — WRIOTHESLEY
⋆。˚ ❀ summary: you gush about your crush to neuvillette over some tea, and your crush unexpectedly joins the tea party and overhears you talking about him. ⋆。˚ ❀ contents: fluff, fem!reader (use of princess as a petname), sassy neuvi, mentions of ayato ⋆。˚ ❀ wc: 1.2k+ ⋆。˚ ❀ a/n: alexa play crush by tessa violet,, LOL i was thinking so hard about the song title then i was like okay yeah these lyrics work ;-; titles are so hard.. anywayyy PLS ENJOY SOME WRIO FLUFF FOR THE SOUL !!
“You just don’t understand, Neuvillette,” you sighed dramatically, stabbing your fork into the delicate cake in front of you. “He’s totally swoon-worthy.”
Neuvillette took a sip of his tea before carefully placing the cup back on its saucer. For a while, he continued to stay silent, as if considering his words.
Once he finally opened his mouth, the only question that came out was a calm, “How so?”
It didn’t take long for a million reasons to pop into your head.
“Well…have you seen his arms?” you gushed. “Is that not enough of a reason in itself?”
Neuvillette scoffed, a smile of amusement playing on his lips.
“That’s not all, of course,” you clarified, grabbing a throw pillow from the sofa next to you and hugging it close to your chest. “He’s also caring and kind and treats everyone with respect, no matter who they are.” 
Neuvillette’s gaze flickered briefly to the door behind you, but you paid it no mind.
“Not to mention how he looks when he gets all serious. Neuvillette, have you ever seen him talk about a prisoner he had to punish? It’s so…” You hid your face behind the pillow, cheeks flaming at the thought.
Before you had a chance to collect yourself, you heard someone clear their throat behind you. You immediately stilled in your seat, slowly bringing the pillow back down to your lap.
“Sorry I’m late. Who are we talking about?”
Neuvillette smiled, ignoring your frantic look directed right at him. “Wriothesley, welcome. You are not too late. Please, take a seat.”
Wriothesley slipped onto the sofa, taking a seat next to you. Neuvillette poured him a cup of tea that he graciously accepted. Looking over at you, Wriothesley brought the drink up to his face and asked, “Care to tell me who you were speaking of before I arrived? It sounded like you were singing their praises.”
You fiddled with the the hem of your silk pajamas— Neuvillette failed to inform you beforehand that a certain someone would be joining the tea party, so you appeared in your regular sleep clothes. You racked your brain trying to come up with a response. 
“Oh, you know… Kamisato Ayato,” you managed, vaguely remembering how you saw his name and face on the cover of The Steambird recently. “The head of the Kamisato clan is such a…dashing and strong leader. I think.” 
“I didn’t realize you were close to Kamisato,” commented Wriothesley, sitting with one leg loosely draped over the other as he leaned back against the sofa.
“Oh,” you shook your head, “no. No, I’ve never even met him.”
Wriothesley raised a singular eyebrow in question. “Your words earlier seemed so strong for something directed at a man you have never met.” 
You shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant even though your heart threatened to beat our of your chest. “You know how enamored a crush can make someone.” 
“I do,” Wriothesley agreed, his gaze locked onto yours so intensely that you almost had to blink.
“I’m sure you do,” remarked Neuvillette, still sipping his tea.
You and Wriothesley both looked over at him.
Neuvillette blinked. “Did you forget I was here? This is my office, is it not?” When no one responded, he sighed. “Well, I finished the last of my tea and I have some work to wrap up. Feel free to stay as long as you need.”
Neuvillette made his way back to his desk and Wriothesley refocused his attention towards you. 
“So. Kamisato Ayato,” he brought the clan leader up once more.
You choked out a laugh of exasperation. “Are we still on this? Just let me have my silly little crush on someone across the world who doesn’t even know I exist.”
Tapping his fingers against the teacup, Wriothesley huffed. You realized he looked almost annoyed and frustrated.
Just as you were about to ask him what was wrong, Wriothesley opened his mouth and said, “Would it be overbearing of me to say I wish you had said a different name when I asked who you were gushing over?”
A strange mixture of curiosity and hope filled your chest.
Curiosity as to who he thought you were talking about. Hope that maybe he thought it might’ve been him. 
“You could never be overbearing,” you assured, grabbing a small biscuit from the table and softening it up in your warm tea. “Would it be nosy of me to ask who you wished I was gushing over?”
Wriothesley grinned. “You are certainly nosy. But it’s one of the things I like about you.”
You laughed, wiping a crumb off your lip with a napkin. “Does that mean you won’t tell me?”
“Perhaps another day.”
In the distance, you heard Neuvillette clear his throat loudly. You looked over and saw him glaring straight at Wriothesley. They stayed like that for a while, having a silent conversation with their eyes. Whatever it was, it seemed intense. You were quite glad that glare wasn’t directed at you.
“I believe Wriothesley would like to share that information with you now,” Neuvillette announced after Wriothesley looked away with a sigh.
“Does he?”
“I do,” Wriothesley confirmed, the slightest bit begrudgingly. “Me.”
You waited for him to say more, but he didn’t elaborate. 
You blinked. “What about you?” 
“Are you going to make me say it?” Wriothesley let out a strangled laugh, grabbing a biscuit to munch on himself. “When I overheard you and Neuvillette talking about your crush, I was hoping it was about me.”
You blinked. “Why about you?” 
Neuvillette made a strange noise as a book fell off his desk. He cleared his throat. “Pardon me.”
You barely had time to wonder if he was okay before Wriothesley finally responded.
“You really don’t make things easy for me, isn’t that right, princess?” Wriothesley said with a helpless smile. “I hoped you were saying such sweet things about me, since I would say equally sweet things about you.”
With your stomach turning at both the pet name and his admission, you managed to say, “And if I were to tell you it really was about you?”
“That would make me a very happy man,” he said, unable to contain his delight. “Who wouldn’t be happy to hear the most beautiful and caring person they know is interested in them as well?”
You heard Neuvillette tap his foot impatiently in the background, but you ignored him. You and Wriothesley were having a moment here. 
“So, you’re saying you like me, too?” you asked, not wanting there to be any chance of a misunderstanding. The two of you made it this far, you couldn’t let it fall apart now.
“I like you very much,” said Wriothesley with a nod. “And I have something to take care of at the Fortress this week, but when we both have time next week, perhaps we can celebrate with a dinner. Without Neuvillette there.”
“Please, without me there,” Neuvillette chimed in, his arms folded as he sat in his chair.
You laughed, standing up and brushing the imaginary dust off your pajamas. “All right, I can take a hint, Neuvillette. I’ll help you clean up before I go. And Wriothesley…” 
“Hmm?”
You met his gaze and the corners of his eyes crinkled. You fought off a giggle as you returned Wriothesley’s smile, an overwhelming feeling of happiness filling you. “It’s a date.”
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scalierpepper · 7 months
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As soon as the concept for this materialized in my head my brain very adamantly would not allow me to focus on literally anything else, so my solution was to throw all my other responsibilities out the window and make this as fast as I possibly could, thus freeing it from my brain prison and letting me do my actual work lmao.
YouTube link under cut
youtube
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stararch4ngelqueen · 11 months
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Motivation
(Part 2)
Time Written- 10:23 p.m.
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I wrote this 3 times and gave up. Severely gave up
“Wakey Wakey, sweetheart.” His lightly exhausted tone nearly roused your eyes open.
A faint click of a bedside lamp invades the silence shortly before Jason shuffles out of bed, displaying a warm glow to your light sensitive vision.
A small groan falls from your mouth, your eyes shutting closed in irritation from the distraction of your comfort. His arms left their sanctuary around your waist, a kiss of warmth remaining along your tummy before he readjusted a soft, thin blanket over your tired body.
Jason was considerate enough to turn off his alarm nearly three minutes before it goes off, saving his special girl a few minutes of precious sleep. As the midsummer sun dies down behind fluffy clouds, golden rays of light reflecting off skyscraper glass into the dead of the night, Gotham’s wild crowds creep out from their crooked caverns to play.
“Hey mama. Sorry to ruin the fun, but I think my arm ran out of blood flow.”
“Do you need it?” Your faint, croaked rumble spews from your barely moving lips.
“I mean, I suppose I’ll need it to fight an’ aim guns at unlucky bastards. Guess that means you gotta lose the pillow.”
Another groan leaves your lips before reluctantly raising your head, setting his arm free from its prison. You spent a minute of quiet suffering before Jason’s fingers cupped your head, guiding you to raise it just enough to slip a fluffy pillow to settle your pretty brain on.
The A/C was on full blast, the blank noise lulling your tired minds to sleep around seven. While it was counterintuitive to be snuggling together in this hot summer heat, you wanted nothing more than to be in his company, comfortable in his safety.
Bare feet shuffling along hard foot floor shifts to heavy rubber soles as Jason gets dressed. Soft cotton and polyester drops to the ground, replaced with tactical fabrics and scrunching leather. A short sonnet of clicks and snaps follow as he adjusts his belt and holsters, getting everything comfortably situated on his person.
“You’re not angry with me, are ya?” He clicks his tongue, fighting off a smile at your lack of response.
“Earth to Goddess.” His calm voice invades your ears as the floor creaks, the dressed vigilante shuffling to his knees beside the bed, settling close to your face.
“Princess.” Jason lightly chimes, brushing your cheek with the back of his pointer finger.
He then proceeds his ever loving assault via planting various kisses along your face, ranging from your cheek up towards your forehead, back down to your nose.
“Babygirl.” He cooes against your sweet smelling hair.
“Do you have to go now?” Came your eventual, irritated whine.
He leans forward, mattress gently creaking as he pressed his lips just under your ear for a quick kiss. “Not yet. You got me for five more minutes.”
Jason settles his head on your collarbone, your nose slightly tickled from locks of soft, dark hair. His eyes are closed, but for once, they’re content with peacefulness. That, and the events that would come within the next month, changing their lives forever.
Jason’s smile widens as your fingers mindlessly trails random shapes along his open palm, your hands always lingering somewhere along his body.
“Y’know I’d give just about anything to get back in bed with you,” his armored chest rumbles with his lowly spoken words. “But, I’m a little big in this get up to be this close to you at the moment. Don’t wanna crush you.”
Those sudden words couldn’t help but make you smile, scoffing just a bit. Ever the doting, overly concerned, slightly overdramatized, loving man he is.
“I don’t know who’s bigger right now,” your exhaustion let you speak in ghostly whispers. “You, or me.”
“Well, you’re the pregnant one,” he says, fighting off a strong, snarky remark with an amused smirk. “So, you definitely take the win with that.”
The look you gave him the second your eyes snapped open made him chuckle, as if he willfully insulted you. The irony of it, considering he was around 6’4 and 250 pounds, a large percent being complete muscle mass while you carried a seven pound baby.
“Kidding, babe. Kidding,” he soothes, trailing a few fingers along your swollen tummy just over the blanket. “Just trying to joke off the nerves. Doesn’t help that it’s my first time…”
“It better be your first time,” you mutter under your breath.
“Yeah yeah, It is. Don’t worry.” Jason’s voice is soft, his cheeks turning a light shade of red at that, and he can’t help but smile as the two of them laugh quietly at her joke.
The weight of their child is a constant pressure on your body to create an incredible miracle. It’s certainly something new, he always wants to make sure his little mama is happy and healthy. Mostly happy.
He trails a finger down your stomach, pausing when he feels a faint thud near the round lower edge of his palm. For eight months teetering on the edge of nine, the baby was definitely getting active.
“Think your boy’s getting ready to fight those unlucky bastards with you.” You lightly chide with a small grin.
“Language, mama,” Jason retorts, flicking some wisps of hair away from your head. “Don’t want ‘em to hear those foul words. An’ I’m not in the market for sidekicks.”
You frown again, scoffing at his hypocrisy.
The surrealism was intense, affecting him from the center of his brain towards the tips of his hands and toes.
Your boy, his boy. His son.
“You two keep the bed warm for me.” Jason murmurs before pressing a few goodbye kisses along your cheek. “I’ll come back with breakfast when you wake up, okay?”
“Okay,” you whisper, consciousness struggling to remain afloat. It’s a silly mental image; the reaction of the owners of an early bird, go-to diner frantically scrambling out of shock and awe when Red Hood himself enters their establishment.
He stands from the floor, lovingly glancing down at his beautiful, pregnant woman cradled in bed, nestled with his pillow, perfectly content.
“Be safe,” you whisper to him, watching him reach towards the lamp to shut it off. The warmth of the vanished lap changing his eyes from a strong emerald green back towards a crisp, steel-cut teal.
“I love you.”
Your voice always sweetened the deal, a perfect lullaby once it was his turn to sleep.
The perfect motivation for him to look forward to every morning.
“Love you too, mama.”
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loveyhoneydovey · 5 months
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mechanic ex-boyfriend simon riley
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notes & warnings: the used pictures are only for aesthetic purposes, reader is not physically described in this. AGELESS BLOGS AND MINORS DNI this is an 18+ only blog. a significant age gap between simon & reader is implied but the actual number is never mentioned. if i missed anything please lmk:)
this is a completely unedited little something i wrote at 4am
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reader who never fell out of love mechanic ex-boyfriend simon
you still recommend your ex-boyfriend’s garage to your friends (especially any vulnerable women) because despite your failed relationship, you’ve never met someone as trustworthy and reliable as simon 
you and mechanic simon who met when you’d found a used car you wanted to purchase and wanted to have it independently inspected 
reader who found this older, ruggedly handsome, stoic and yet professional mechanic who seemed to know his shit. despite the terrifying skull design resting next to his shop’s name, you trusted him immediately
not only did he inspect the car for you, but he also helped bring down its price and performed any necessary repairs at a huge discount (he never told you about this, you eventually figured it out on your own)
despite the obvious crush, he was very reluctant to pursue anything with you. not only were you his client and trusted him not to make things weird, but you were also so much younger and he felt like an old dog who was beyond learning any new tricks
you should’ve taken his warning from the beginning as he had predicted the downfall of your relationship before it’d even began
reader whose car has been acting weird for the past couple of months so you begrudgingly take it to simon’s shop
you’d actually tried taking it to some new garage in town, but had a feeling you were being lied to and overcharged when the sleazy mechanic barely spent an hour on it and said it was back like new
mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who doesn’t even need 5 minutes to tell you it’s on its last leg. despite his stoic demeanor, he’s actually concerned by how you’ve been driving such a vehicle in such an unsafe state
mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who starts asking till he finds a car within your budget. one he inspects himself to make sure his baby not anymore doesn’t end up dead in a ditch somewhere because of faulty brakes
the fucker was ready to buy it himself, but knew you’d never accept his money (especially not after the harsh parting words you’d left each other with during your last fight)
mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who’ll never love anyone more than you, but still isn’t willing to repair the broken bond between you two
mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who still uses o’keeffe’s working hands cream every day cause you used to always rub it on his hands, swearing his calloused skin would soon feel like a baby’s butt (and of course you were right). he tries to mimic the way you’d gently work it into his damaged skin as the only thing he had left from you now were memories
mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who never really tries to move on from you despite his apprentice’s attempts to set him up with multiple people (what’s the point of you for something he’s already found) 
mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who went through the army and came out even more damaged after a stint in prison. he believes nothing good will come out of such a sweet thing so full of life being chained to a grumpy old man like him
mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who despite thinking all of that can’t accept the thought of you being with someone other than him
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WHEW the is the first time i've written in YEARS (and i probably won't write anything for another good 5 years fjkdsw). hope you enjoyed this as much as i did!! this au idea has been rotting my brain for the past few days and i just had to let it out. feel free to dm me, leave a comment or send an ask about this au. dividers made by @anitalenia ✨
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sorceresssundries · 3 months
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'Time can prove to be a trickster on one's recollections - what would be multiple lifetimes for others now separate me from my captivity... Perhaps I have lost perspective on what happened to me.
I... have not had true confidantes for some time. The Shadow Curse robbed me of almost all my peers, and replaced them with the weight of responsibility. Perhaps that caused me to gild undeserving memories of my youth. '
Discussion of mental health below the cut.
Halsin breaks my fucking heart, man.
He spent so long shouldering the weight of the curse that he neglected dealing with his own shadows.
Right before this, he mentioned being chained to a bed for three years as a prisoner, yet he has convinced himself it may not have been as bad as it seemed, thinking perhaps he was actually a 'guest.'
As someone with CPTSD, I'm convinced Halsin has some form of it as well. Trauma and (C)PTSD affect the areas of the brain where memories are formed and kept. When traumatic memories are recalled, the perception of them can be altered leading to self-blame or minimisation of the trauma's severity.
Halsin's struggles are often downplayed, especially by him. - He doesn't have a tadpole, he isn't trying to ascend, he isn't being tempted by a dark path, and he doesn't require you to convince him to be good. He plays the part of the healer well, despite still needing healing himself.
Time can be a fixer, but it is also a trickster—and the more of it that passes, the trickier memories associated with trauma become to unpick. Centuries have passed for him.
I'm happy with the outcome of the game for Halsin, that he gets to relax, settle, and find his place alongside nature in the land he helped to free—but I almost wish there was more to explore with him. He deserves the world.
Sorry, i'm not sure what the point of this was I just have a lot of feelings about Halsin.
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comfortless · 6 months
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I already sent you an ask today so hiiii
(Alright so now I hopefully have your attention, imagine: ancient settling, mercenary könig is made prisoner and enslaved and reader, a cute noble girl, buys him to ☆have fun☆. He doesn't mind at all.)
Have a good day!
anon whoever you are… every message that you have sent has been like you putting a clawing animal in my brain. all of these concepts are so good. sorry it took me a bit to get around to this one. <:•)
captured mercenary! König x noblewoman! reader
content/warnings: 18+. minors do not interact. medieval au (so: gender role nonsense), slightly mean slightly pathetic König, very brief mentions of violence/beheading, masturbation.
“That one.”
You hear yourself speak without thought. Your voice is shy, almost. It’s unbecoming of your station to seem so meek… even as you eye the men lined up before you like cattle prepped for slaughter.
Prisoners, they were. All apart from the one you had chosen would be little more than toys for the executioner after what they’ve done: to think that such a little band of mercenaries would even be planning for a siege… ridiculous. Most of the men have already had their hair cut cleanly away from their necks in preparation for the blade that would be slicing past each vertebrae and layer of muscle to chop away their heads.
This one is saved only because he’s been stripped of his armors, and though his face is rather rugged… there’s strength beneath his skin and such a deep misery in his eyes it sets your chest ablaze with pity. He could be useful, a willing servant if you could only save him from what terrible thing haunts him.
Maybe it’s the old wounds that flare his skin with the raised flesh of scar tissue, perhaps it’s the harelip or the wild thing set between his thighs where he’s forced to kneel. It catches your eye, that last one…
The prisoner’s jaw sets when your finger does point his way, blue eyes narrow just a fraction as realization settles in the pit of his stomach. No freedom to be garnered here, no love, nothing but that blade he had intended to use against you sworn to you instead. If the giant spit at your feet then, it would be expected, welcomed almost with the way your chest roars with sympathy.
He only stares.
You pay off his captors with a few silver coins and watch as they lead him bound to your side. His arms are tied too tightly before him, muscles slack with exertion after trying to fight the ropes for what must have been hours. Whether he sees you as savior or something revolting remains unknown. He doesn’t speak, not even as a servant leads him into the back of your carriage and you step inside after him, holding up the middle of your gown as to not sully it with the dirt and old blood splattered over the stones layered for street.
When the horses begin to move you give the man a proper once over, hiding your smile beneath a handkerchief, free hand curled into the lap of your skirts. He’s not just tall and broad, but incredibly well endowed. Not just sad and downtrodden, but pissed, though the only tell remains his shaking fists. His gaze never meets yours for longer than a moment before it settles back to gaze at the passing tall grass and sheep prancing about the fields, but each time that it does… there is no denying the mixture of confusion, maybe even attraction upon his face.
Your home was something this giant had never had a taste of prior to you: a castle atop a hill, charming and stone with its high ramparts and blunt roof. You didn’t need his confirmation in words, though you do ask and get nothing in turn.
The carriage pulls you right through the gate and it is almost cute the way that this man’s eyes seem to wander as he takes it all in. There are other servants tending to the sheep and horses, the smell of fire and the chiming of blade meeting blade ringing out as men spar, there are cats to keep away pests and modest but cozy homes, a tavern, an inn all beyond the wall. A small city of your own: all for the perfect little noblewoman that you were.
The only thing that you lacked was the trained sword of a man to ensure your safety, and now you had that, too.
You explain to him his place here, the role that he would take for the price you paid as you both disembark from the wooden carriage. He would be fitted for armor donning your family’s crest come the morning, whipped into obedience should he dare raise a hand toward any one here. You even think to warn him of the executioner’s sloppy work, how he may even live with his head chopped only halfway off should you request it…. some horror you had heard one of the travelers speak of.
As the weeks pass, König does begin to settle immensely. His speech is disjointed and parsed, his mother tongue muddled with your own language in a way that is cute… terribly, horribly cute.
He’s intelligent and strong: spends much of his time out amongst the lower men aiding with the animals and teaching them the deft way he swings his blade. It is an art form in its own right, the way that he paints the air with swift strokes… For a woman to fawn over a man’s swordplay was absurd, but it was impossible not to enjoy when he taunts and jabs the way that he does.
He rarely wears that armor the blacksmith crafted for him, both a flattery and an insult. You don’t mind watching him best smaller men in solely his trousers, pressing their faces into the muck while he barks his insults to them in words they can not understand. To you, now, when he flashes the most beastly of grins in your direction and utters the words, “Verpiss dich.”
You aren’t even certain why you stand there rather than hissing out orders to have him taken away. Your stupid corset feels too tight, gown too small, and your chest aches. There's not been a thing you could do to have this man do more than simply tolerate you. He sleeps within his own room in the castle, eats his fill and then some, you talk to him and layer your words with praise. He has not once been punished for anything. Not even now.
“Come here,” you demand without thought, walking down the staircase to cross the yard with your hands balled into delicate fists at your sides.
Your giant only looks confused for a moment as he clambers off of the man he’s just wrestled to the earth and rights himself. His eyebrows raise, his nostrils flare… and then he laughs. At you like you’re the most puny of rabbits, hardly a threat. Your betters would have laughed too at just how fragile you sound, on the cusp of tears over what? Some ridiculous little crush on a captive soldier??
He eventually does as you ask, stomping over to stand before you- not kneel, he never knelt. If his height and stature were meant to intimidate… your god would have to forgive the thoughts that muddle your head then, like filthy water as you drink him in.
“Was…?”
So you explain to him as best you can just how insolent he’s being, how horribly he repays your kindness, how he would be dead on some shrouded mountain pass or have his body tossed into the river if not for you. You explain your heart out when tears come to your eyes and spring forth as your chittering continues, and you don’t even know if the moron can understand; he only stands there with the wildest grin on his face when he sees you beginning to sniffle and sob.
“Was?,” he demands again, blunt even as he takes your face into one of his large hands, turns your head to brush a tear from your cheek with the pad of his thumb. “Why are you crying?”
“You need to learn your place!” And you know you’re being a hypocrite, that a proper lady should never allow a man to touch her like this, look at her the way that König does. You should call for a servant to have him dragged through the yard and whipped… or worse, but your voice only comes in a crestfallen whisper.
He shrugs those massive shoulders, rolls his neck and huffs a breath as he gazes down at you before his hand falls to his side and he merely walks away. That’s it.
Though you had the hopes that your warning had been taken seriously, the days following seem even worse.
König abandons his duties and takes up the most horrendous idea of courtship that he can muster. If courtship is even what it could be considered. It is more like a direct taunt, a jab now that he’s been made perfectly aware just how fragile the maiden he was sold to guard is.
He takes liberties once you’ve bedded down each night, your dresses stripped away to be replaced with a plain linen gown with nothing beneath: your only protection in the form of the wooden door between you two because König is no protector.
It always starts with the sound of spitting into his palm, then a drawn out sigh that rises to a near-animalistic groan. Sometimes he speaks, other times the soft, wet sounds rise in tempo until all that comes from his mouth are sharp hisses and whines.
This night proves to be the worst.
The wood creaks under his weight as he leans back against the door, stroking himself to the thought of you behind it. He makes it apparent when he breathes your name, low and shaky as you squeeze your eyes closed and pretend to not hear the words that follow.
“Scheiße… bet you’re tight,” he hisses between his depraved whimpers, the slick sounds increasing even as he rights himself to stand proper. You can almost hear the way he salivates, can almost imagine the way his jaw must fall slack and his eyes go dazed as he pleasures himself… you squeeze your thighs shut.
“Ja… you want it too, huh…” The bastard is most assuredly imagining you, knelt before him with the most helpless, reverent gaze as you plead for him. It should make you ill, yet it only stokes a fire in your belly, one that bridges between rage and need. “Ich will dich ficken…”
Your breath comes to a halt when your hand drifts beneath your thin gown, forcing yourself to listen as he brings himself to ruin in the halls as your finger presses to the spot that demands attention most of all. A fragile, shaking circle before your breath already begins to catch.
“Bitte…”
The brute sounds so helpless now, no longer the horrid thing that ordered you to “piss off” or scowled in your direction. He doesn’t know a thing about love… about how one should yearn for a maiden, only of spilling blood and seed. It’s only in the quiet of the night when the rest of the castle sleeps does he allow himself to be even this vulnerable… only his vulnerability seems even more terrifying.
His groans morph into pitiful sighs as he no doubt slows his motions, drawing out an impending orgasm in the hope that you will crawl to your door to let him in and fuck you rough on your bed.
“Just let me…”
Your thighs tremble as you weep between them in longing. The sooner it’s over the sooner you can close your eyes and drift back to sleep, no longer needing him the way he seems to need you now.
Your motions grow more heady, the patterns traced quicker and more deliberate as the heat rushes down further like the most vast wave of pure fire… When you tense, when your lips part to allow a low murmur of pleasure to slip from them, you’re met with laughter from the other side of the door.
“Ja… my lady… you do want it,” he hums as you draw your covers up and over your head in shame. You hadn’t been that loud, surely… but the way that he follows after, coming undone himself with a loud grunt as though it were some ridiculous competition…
“Let me fuck you next time,” he rasps, panting soft as he leans back. Depraved as he was, you were certain he was probably admiring the pearly paint he left along the stones. “That is my place, hm?”
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thewritetofreespeech · 6 months
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Could I request Astarion and his s/o getting into a sass competition where Astarion ends up confessing to her by accident and now he's all flustered?
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Astarion x Reader
“Can’t you go any faster?”
“I’m not exactly as well versed into taking these off as I am in putting them on, darling.” Astarion quipped at you as he fiddled with the lock on your cuffs.
Being somewhat of an anti-hero liaisons these days, the group had been pinched on some trumped up but completely true & legal charges of petty theft and larceny. Your options were fight, flight, or get arrested when confronted by the guards and charges. And since you couldn’t fight a whole city’s worth of Iron Fists, and running also seemed unplausible as you’d have to come back to the city sometime, you decided to take you lumps and went to jail. Luckily, where there’s a will there’s a way. Or in this case: a vampire with a lockpick up his sleeve.
“Why did you wait to do me last anyway? Just to see me suffer?”
“Well,” Astarion cooed, “it does have a certain visual appeal.”
You clicked your teeth and rolled your eyes. “Could you just hurry up? I’m starting to lose the feeling in my hands. All the blood is rushing out of them.”
“Oh, well, we wouldn’t want that.”
“Well, if you want my blood again, you should be more sympathetic to my pain.” You told him. Sighing heavily as one arm was free and Astarion moved on to the other one.
“Don’t you threaten me. Besides, if you won’t give me what I want, I’ll just move on to some other lucky companion in our camp.”
“Ha! Like anyone else would have you.”
Astarion frowned. “I’ll have you know that there are plenty of people who would welcome my teeth at their necks. Hundreds. Thousands!”
“Yeah. One blood obsessed drow and…who was the other one you tricked again?” You pulled at the shackles, which jiggled the irons and knocked the lockpick free, but unbroken. The vampire growled at you.
“I tricked you easy enough, didn’t I?”
“Only because I took pity on you.”
“Pity?!”
“Yeah.” You told him. “That poor, sad, puppy dog ‘please feed me’ look was just something I couldn’t say no to.”
Astarion growled again. “That is not how it happened. Besides, if you didn’t like it you wouldn’t keep asking for more.”
“Oh sure. Blame the victim.”
“You are not a victim!” He snapped at you. He seemed a little wounded by that one. Maybe you went a little too far. “Gods.” He cursed under his breath with a frown. “You are lucky I love you so much, otherwise I would just leave you here, chained up, and never bite you again. No matter how much you begged me.”
The lock finally snapped open and your arm fell to the side. You lifted it to rub your wrist but were uncharacteristically silent.
“Would it have been too much to expect a thank you??”
“Did you just say you love me?”
Astarion froze for a moment. A little wide eyed at your question. He seemed to be racking his brain for a moment. Trying to remember the conversation before an ‘Oh. Shit.’ expression came over his face. “What? Oh, that. Figure of speech darling, of course.” He let out a single nervous cough after that and a rushed, “let’s go meet up with the other.” Before he turned on his heels and made a speedy exit.
You rub your wrist one more time as a soft, shy smile came to your lips behind his back. You follow after him and meet up with the others. Waiting just outside the prison for the two of you, as apparently just around the corner was enough of an escape from the mighty Iron Fist.
“Ah! I just love this fresh air.” You exclaim, followed by more comments on how dusty & dank your cell had been, but really just watching Astarion’s shoulders tense.
You spent the rest of the day subversively tormenting Astarion. Making comments on how much you loved the weather, or loved a dress in a window. How much you loved dinner that night. How much you loved getting a good night’s rest that night.
By the time everyone had gone off to their respective tents for the evening, Astarion had apparently had enough and slunk up to yours. “I know what you’re doing. Now stop it!” He hissed.
“But I thought you’d love it.”
“Stop it!” He hissed again. If he could right now, he would blush. You were tempted to let him feed on you for a moment to get the full effect. “I mean it! How would you like it if I threw every verbal misstep in your face? I don’t keep bringing up the time you said Ibis instead of Ignis, now do I??”
It was pretty funny when that bird showed up.
“So, are you upset that you said it and I’m teasing of you, or are you upset that you didn’t mean it and I keep bringing it up?” You honestly didn’t know which answer would be worse at this point. You felt bad you had wounded his pride to the point that he came to talk to you. But you also don’t think you could take it if he told you that he didn’t love you.
Astarion just stood there for a moment, thinking, before he sighed and waved you off. “Just…knock it off ok. I’ve had quite enough today. I’m going to get some sleep and I’ll see you in the morning.”
He turned to walk away and just before he fell out of ear shot you called to him. “Hey Astarion,” he looked back over his shoulder at you, “I love that you could come and talk to me about this.”
He huffed, but you could see the corners of his mouth struggling to keep down. “Oh shut up.”
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