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ellies-little-thing · 11 months ago

Text

Want you back (e.w.)

*not my images, but i edited them

My masterlist <3

pairing: modern!ellie / fem!reader

Warnings: NSFW; angst; fluf; smut; reader is referred to as she/her; reader has a vagina; cheatting; drinking; use of marijuana; strap!usage reader!receaving; cunilingus; mature content; very explicit; Kind of proofread, English is not my first language.

Author's notes: Hi! i had a blast writing this one! I hope you like it, I really liked writing it! Feedback is always welcome and likes and reblogs are always encouraged! Thank you! Enjoy!

word count: 21.6k

Inspired by this 5SOS song <3

MEN AND MINORS DNI! ( I'll find you, and ill kill you. So... )

You and Ellie broke up a few months ago. You dated for almost half a year before she cheated on you. She was the one who broke up with you though. She had never told you why she had done it. You tried to forget about it but it was really hard. Because of the break up, you haven’t felt like yourself. The depression was kicking in and your friends were starting to get worried about you.

You haven’t really gone out, met other girls or anything for a while, so when your friends drag you to a frat party, you hesitate if you should go. But when you get to the party. You see her. Ellie. She’s talking to some girl, but then she sees you. She has the girl under her arm as she's drinking. She was wearing her usual go-to outfit, a wife beater with ripped skinny jeans and her black converse with her hair in a half bun.

You try to ignore her and keep talking to your friends. As you turn away from her, you can feel her stare. It’s piercing through you, but you keep ignoring her, that is until she walks over to you and taps on your shoulder. You look back, a bit annoyed, already knowing it is her. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” She asks, but her voice hints more at an order than a question.

You roll your eyes, but go with her into a more private place and with less noise. She leads you away from the party to some random hallway. You don't know why you keep letting yourself into these situations again and again. She waits until you’re both alone before she begins to talk. “Look, it’s been a few months since the breakup and I think we need to talk.” She says as she crosses her arms and looks you straight in the eye.

“About what?” You ask crossing your arms as well, getting uncomfortable from being this close to her again after so long.

“About the breakup.” She says as she walks closer to you. “We were together for so long, I feel like just breaking up was a mistake.” She says as she comes up to you. “I think we need to get back together.” You’re speechless. All this time thinking she hates you, but in reality she misses you. She wanted you back.

“You were the one who cheated, not me.” You say bluntly, looking at her.

A wave of embarrassment washes over her face, as she looks down at the ground.

“I know.” She says as she looks back up at you. “But I miss you, I realized no one else makes me feel like you make me feel.” You could smell the alcohol from her breath.

“I'm tired Ellie.” You say uncrossing your arms and leaning against the wall. Ellie frowns a little and looks at the ground for a few moments. After a bit, she looks right into your eyes. “Please just give me another chance.” She says as she looks desperate and a little heartbroken.

“Why should I?” You ask her, getting angry now.

“Because I love you.” Ellie says as she steps closer to you, so you can feel the warmth of her body. “I made a mistake, okay? But I can’t imagine being with anyone else. Please just give me another chance.” She says as she stands mere inches from you. She smells of her cologne you missed so much, but there is something else. She smells of pot. By the way she slurs her words you realize she's probably high as well.

“You were just now having loads of fun with that girl you were with…” You say crossing your arms again and looking at her annoyed, trying to get some distance between you.

“She’s just a friend.” Ellie says as she looks away from you, feeling a bit embarrassed. “I wasn’t really having fun. I would much rather be here, with you.” She leans in closer to you until you can feel her warm breath on your neck. “Come on…” She says as she looks at you with teary eyes. “We were so good together.” She speaks in a low and raspy tone knowing how it affects you.

You stay still, looking at her with your arms crossed as she speaks. Ellie notices your body language and looks at you with worry. You aren't reacting like you used to. “Please don’t stay angry, just give me another chance.” She repeats. Her voice sounded more pleading and desperate instead of angry. She leans in closer again until she’s practically pressed up against you. She places a gentle hand on the side of your face, as she looks you directly in the eyes. “Please, my sweetheart.” She whispers.

“I'm your sweetheart now?” You ask with a “are you serious” vibe.

“Always have been.” She says as she looks directly into your eyes without blinking. She places her other hand on the back of your head and begins to stroke your hair. She’s practically right on top of you, pressing herself as close to you as possible, so you can feel her body against yours. “Please babe, just give me another chance...” She whispers in your ear.

You melted when she called you ‘babe’, that's what she would always call you before. You can't really get away since she backed you into the wall. “You're drunk Ellie...” You look away from her face trying to hide your blush.

“Just give me another chance...” She repeats, her voice still pleading and desperate as her hands are starting to move, caressing your body. She looks at you, her cheeks are red with embarrassment, her eyes glazed with sadness and longing. “Please, I’ll do anything to make this up to you.” She whispers as she kisses you gently on the cheek and then on your neck. You can feel your body starting to give in to her touch but you try to resist her. You feel her giving you some more kisses as her hands start to go into more intimate areas. She grabs your ass and gives it a good squeeze. You can feel your panties starting to get wet. You forgot how good she could make you feel. As her hand starts going up, under your dress, you realize what she really wants and you stop her.

“Ellie stop.” You say as you feel her kisses on your skin. You missed her and they felt good but she was drunk. She didn't mean anything she had just said. She just wanted to fuck you. Ellie stops kissing you and leans away from you just enough for her lips to be off of you, but she is still close so that she’s pressed up against you. She looks you in the eyes. Her breath heavy from her kissing and you can feel her chest slowly rising and falling. She still looks at you with a pleading look. Just waiting for you to say something. She grabs you by your waist as the other hand still travels under your skirt, looking at your lips. You get away from her grasp. “You don't just get to do that and think I'll come running back into your arms.” You look at her with a bit of anger in your eyes as you pull your dress down. Ellie looks at you as if you just stabbed her right in the heart. She slowly shakes her head at you and sighs. She crosses her arms over her chest and she looks down at the ground. She stays like this for a few seconds before finally speaking. “I understand. I just wanted you back, but I guess I can't make things right.”

“If you weren't drunk every time you tried that, maybe i'd believe you.” You say with a sadness in your voice. Her heart skips a beat when she hears the sadness in your voice. But she doesn’t allow the thought of her hurting and disappointing you to distract her. Because she has to be strong. So she keeps her gaze at the floor and responds: “Yeah, you’re right.” She sighs and lets her eyes travel around the floor, before they rest on her feet for a few seconds. “Good night Ellie, have fun with your date.” You say almost crying as you walk back to your friends. You move through the crowd still thinking about her.

The pain in her stomach grows exponentially as she sees you walk away from her. Without realizing it, she makes a fist as she stands there. She is angry at herself. She stays there for a few seconds, hoping that you’ll come back to her. Hoping that you’ll change your mind and give her another chance, but you never turn around. She just feels her whole world crumble apart. But instead of showing her sadness, she keeps the image of the tough girl she wants to be. She crosses her arms and sighs. “Goodbye.” She whispers.

You hear her but just continue walking. She stays there, trying to compose herself. But the disappointment and sadness from seeing that you didn’t look back is too much for her. She goes into the bathroom and locks the door and she just breaks down emotionally. She starts crying uncontrollably. You decided to go home, as it was getting really late. You say your goodbyes and start leaving the party. Ellie calmed herself down and came out, her mind going into a whirlwind. She was heartbroken and defeated. As you leave, she doesn’t even notice you or anything around her anymore. She just stands there next to the girl she was with again, staring at the void in her mind. She doesn’t speak or move. She just stands there.

You walk home and when you arrive you lay in bed sad, because of Ellie's behavior. As you lay down on your bed, your thoughts take over. You think about everything Ellie said and everything that happened at the party. Your heart hurts as you think about how she reacted.

You feel a mix of many different emotions: sadness, anger, frustration, and a little bit of hope. You can’t shake off the feeling that she’s being sincere when she says that she misses you. That she doesn’t want to be with anyone else, but she always had a new girl under her arm when you saw her. Your heart sinks again when you think about those girls. You don’t know why she always does that. She just acts like nothing happened between you two around other people. She acts like it didn’t mean anything to her. How can she act like this? Like you two never were together? Your thoughts and emotions are a whirlwind. You don’t know what to feel and even though your mind is racing, you feel tired.

She says she misses you but only talks to you when she's drunk or high, or both. The thought of her being drunk and high everytime she wants to talk to you is eating away at you.

She only approaches when she is not sober. She only talks to you when she is not in a sound mind. This realization makes you wonder, ‘Do these encounters have any real meaning?’ You’re in pain because you’re hoping that she actually misses you and these encounters have real meaning. You wish she came to you when she was sober and didn’t only talk to you when she was under the influence. You lie in your bed, trying to relax and trying to sleep. But you can’t shake off the feelings of sadness and disappointment that you still have. You try to keep your mind occupied, you try to tell yourself that you don’t need her, but you can’t hide the fact that your heart still hurts over the whole situation.

A few days later, you’re going about your life, but the thoughts of Ellie are still lingering in your mind. You feel like you can’t forget about her. It’s like something is missing in your life ever since she left. You try to fill that void with other people, but nothing really worked. You still think about her, and your thoughts always lead to sadness and longing. You tried talking to a girl for some time but you didn't really feel a connection. You’ve tried talking to other girls and going out a few times, but you didn’t really feel a connection with any of them either. They’re not like Ellie. They don’t give you that same type of happiness and excitement. They don’t make you feel the way Ellie did. You can’t help but feel disappointed every time you try to find someone new. Ellie always looked happy and content every time you saw her. She was never alone. Always with some random girl or with her friends that were a really bad influence on her. She missed you truly, and was sorry for what she put you through, but she was too proud to talk to you sober. She was too proud to even be seen talking to you altogether.

You are walking to class when you suddenly bump into someone. When you look up, you see Ellie. You’re shocked to see her. You don’t know what to say, so you just stare at her. Ellie is surprised to see you too, she also doesn’t know what to say. Both of you just stare at each other without saying anything, not sure what to do. You look away and continue walking. You don’t know what else to do. You don’t want to talk to her, but you’re also not sure how you would react if she came to talk to you. You can’t stop thinking about her, even though the whole interaction was only a few seconds. You feel disappointed with yourself because you couldn’t even have a conversation with her. You just walked away. Looking at her, only reminds you of the past relationship, a time where you were happy. But that’s all gone now. It hurts too much. She's gone, and there’s nothing you can do about it. You can only move on. But even after all this time, it still hurts. Every time you look at her, you remember how much you loved her. And it just hurts so much. She looks at you as you walk away. She watches you from afar with a look of sadness and pain on her face. You can tell she was wishing that you stayed and talked to her. That you gave her hope that things could change. But you didn’t. You walked away from her without even saying a word. She’s left with the pain of knowing that you’re not coming back.

Later that night, you receive a text message from Ellie. You look at it with curiosity, but you also feel afraid about what she could text you about. Maybe she’s texting you to yell at you for not talking to her. Or, maybe she will just tell you that she doesn’t want to talk to you anymore. You open the text message, not knowing what to expect. You read the text message from Ellie. “Can I talk to you? Like, right now?”

“Why? About what?” You respond, not really thinking it through.

She sends another text message. “Can you just come over so we can talk?” She seems desperate. She sounds like she’s feeling anxious too.

“Why should i? Just so you can hurt me some more?” You reply a few minutes later.

She replies quickly. She sounds really upset. “Please just come over. I really need to talk to you.”

You sigh and think for another few minutes. The thoughts of her hurting you again are going through your head. The sadness of the whole situation and the disappointment. You don’t want this whole situation to happen again. Yet, you also are filled with curiosity. What does she have to say?

“I'll be there in 30.” You respond, knowing this won’t go well.

About half an hour later, you’re at her house. You’ve been thinking about what she could have to say the whole walk there. She probably just wants to tell you that she wants nothing to do with you. Or something like that. Either way, you’re going to be hearing her say something disappointing again. You knock on the door. You’re a little nervous, but you’re expecting the worst, anyway. After a few seconds of waiting, the door opens. Ellie is standing behind the door staring at you. She hasn’t said a word. She is just staring at you, just like you are staring at her.

You stare at her in the eyes and for a few long seconds, none of you say a word. All you can think in your head is: “Just say something already, just get this over with.” Because you didn’t say anything, she stepped aside to let you come in. At this point you’re really starting to wish that you had just ignored her text. You’re starting to think that this whole thing might be a bigger deal than you thought. You step into her house and look around. Her house was always messy but this was more than messy, it was like a tornado went by. Cans of beer all over the counters, boxes of take out food, clothes everywhere. The silence between you two feels awkward and uncomfortable. You can’t stop thinking that your heart beats faster each time you think about what she wants to talk about.

You stand there waiting for her to say what she wanted to say. Ellie continues to stare at you with a pleading and sad look. For a few seconds, it feels like this moment will last forever. She still hasn’t said anything. She doesn’t explain why she wants to talk to you. But she just continues staring with that pleading look in her eyes. “Why did you want to talk to me?” You finally break the silence, asking this in an annoyed tone.

Ellie swallows and finally speaks: “I wanted to talk to you because…” She hesitates to continue speaking. It feels like she’s having a hard time getting her words out. But she knows she has to say something.

“I don't know why I came…” You whisper. Feeling disappointed in her and in yourself as well. She hears what you say and she looks down at her feet for a few seconds before she finally finds the courage. You watch in fascination as her cheeks get a little red and her body trembles slightly. “I…” She struggles to get her words out. She doesn’t know how to say it. So after a long pause, she suddenly blurts it out: “I miss you.”

“You always say that.” You look at her crossing your arms. She looks back at you with tears in her eyes now, she can barely look at you anymore. “I know, and I’m sorry. But I really missed you.” She sounds like she can’t believe you’re still there. She was so sure that you wouldn’t believe her, that you wouldn’t want anything to do with her anymore. She couldn’t stop wishing that you didn’t come. Because of how disappointed she is in herself. She is disappointed in herself that she hurt someone she genuinely loved.

You look at her and see her eyes are a bit red. She wipes away a few tears from her eyes and continues to look at you. You can see the sadness in her eyes. The sadness of someone who truly missed what you guys had. She can’t believe she threw it all away. She knows that everything she’s feeling, it’s her fault. She shouldn’t hurt people like this and she’s fully aware of it. Her heart hurts, because she knows she needs to do better. You look at the coffee table and at the blunt that she just put out on the ashtray. She looked at you and suddenly remembered that she’s not supposed to be smoking anymore. “It’s been tough on me... I miss you a lot and these cigs... they kinda help me, I guess.” You can hear the sadness in her voice. It’s like she’s asking you to understand. “I cant believe youre high again.” You pinch the bridge of your nose.

Her head jerks back a little and she raises her voice in defense when you accuse her of being high again. “I’m not high!” She says, but the way she says it makes her sound pretty guilty. She doesn’t want to admit it, but she’s not doing a very good job. Her eyes seem slightly hazy and the smell of pot is starting to linger in the air. You pick up your bag and start walking to the front door. You can't even look at her anymore. She watches as you do. She’s almost pleading with her eyes, hoping that you’d stay. She knows that she screwed up big time, and she’s desperate to fix it. She doesn’t know if you’ll forgive her and give her another chance. She’s just wishing that you’ll let her make it up to you. But you don’t stop walking and are about to leave.

You look at her one last time before opening the door. You can tell she wants you to say something. She wants you to turn around, she wants you to stay. But you don’t. You don’t say anything just like last time. You just leave, breaking this girl’s heart. She stares at the door for a few long seconds, hoping that you’ll return. That you wouldn’t leave her like this. But you do end up leaving and she is left alone, broken and hopeless. You close the door and start crying as you walk back home. The moment you close that door, you can feel something inside you break. You’re sad and heartbroken all over again. You cry the whole walk back home. The pain is overwhelming and it feels like your whole world is falling apart again. You don’t even remember crying this much when you two broke up. But that hurt in a different way, like she was tearing your heart out and throwing it away. Now, it feels like it hurts more because she cares about you still. That she really does want to fix what she threw away.

You get home and walk to your bedroom. You fall onto your bed, the thought of her weighing heavily on your mind. You lay down, thinking about everything that’s happened. You can’t stop thinking about how it seemed like she wanted to change, and yet, you gave her no chance. You didn’t take her invitation to fix things. The pain that you’re feeling is overwhelming, and you try not to cry. You hear your phone buzz and look at your screen. It’s a text message from Ellie. You pick it up and read it. “Please come back. We need to talk. I know I messed up and I don’t expect you to forgive me. But I really want to fix this and make up for what I did. Please just give me a chance. I love you.”

“If you did, you wouldn't text me when you're high, again.” You know that she was high, but you keep thinking about the words. “I love you.” You know that she was high, but you could see sadness in her eyes when you were at her place. She actually wanted to make things right. Sure, you’re disappointed in her for being high yet again. But you still feel something in those words, like she actually means what she said.

“If you really want to talk, then you come over. I'm not going there again.” You think about what she says. She wants you to come to her. She doesn’t want to come to you. She’s asking you to put in the effort again. Never her. Maybe she’s too insecure to come and see you because she might be afraid of being rejected. She is afraid that you might turn her away again. Maybe this time she’s trying to show how much she really wants to fix this. Maybe she’s trying to prove that she actually loves you. She replies back with: “Fine, I’ll come to you.” Your heart starts beating faster, not only because she’s coming over, but also because she actually agreed to come to you. The thought is making you anxious and nervous. The thought of actually seeing her again scares you. You’re not sure how things will go, but part of you is hoping that they end well. You are sitting on the couch, anxiously waiting. For the next few seconds every noise you hear makes you jump, thinking it’s her. Your heart beats fast, your stomach is filled with butterflies. You can’t stop checking the time, feeling like every second an eternity.

You hear a knock on the door. Your heart suddenly starts beating even faster. Your body trembles slightly, and your mouth starts to dry. You get up and hesitantly walk over to the door. You twist the handle and open the door slowly. You see Ellie standing there. She’s staring at you with a look of remorse and sadness. You can tell she’s really nervous. You step out of the way and let her in. You walk back over to the couch and sit down, still feeling anxious and nervous. When she closes the door and comes inside, she walks over and sits next to you on the couch. She sits quite close, her arm almost touching yours. You just can't look at her, you just wait for her to talk. The silence between you two feels awkward and uncomfortable. You’re too nervous to look at her, you feel a wave of anxiety wash over you as you wait for her to speak. She’s sitting directly next to you, almost touching your arm with hers, and yet she’s quiet, waiting for you to be the one to start talking.

You scoot a bit further away from her, so you two are not so close anymore. She notices that you move away from her, but she doesn’t comment on it. Instead, she just stares at you, waiting for you to say something. Your lack of eye contact is making her feel insecure and nervous. She can feel the walls you built up between you two starting to rebuild higher and higher. The silence gets too much for her and she finally says something: “I’m so sorry for what I did... for hurting you like I did. I was being stupid, and I didn’t realize how much my actions would hurt you.” She sounds really remorseful and like she means every word of what she’s saying. She’s really taking accountability for her actions and seems genuinely sorry.

The fact that she finally took responsibility for her actions and is actually apologizing to you is making you feel really emotional. You can feel the tears forming in your eyes, but you still can’t look at her. She just told you how much she hurt you, but at the same time you’re reminded of how much you still care about her. “You treated me like shit.” You say as you start crying. Ellie looks away from you when you bring up the way she treated you. She knows that she deserves it and that she screwed up. “I know, I know I did. I’m sorry, I really am. I truly didn’t realize how much I hurt you. I was being stupid and selfish.”

“At least you're admitting it…” You say in a disappointed tone. She doesn’t even fight back. She doesn’t even try to justify what she did. She truly is taking responsibility for her actions. She knows she hurt you badly and is taking it all in. She is just hoping that you’ll forgive her eventually. “I know that I screwed up, and this might not mean much coming from me, but I just want to try again. I just want us to try and fix this.”

“I still don't understand why you started treating me that way.” You say with a trembling voice. Ellie looks at you, finally making eye contact, and tries to answer your question. “I guess... I guess the reason I started treating you that way was because I didn’t realize how much I valued our relationship. When I first broke up with you, I thought I wasn’t going to miss you or be hurt, but it hit me way harder than I expected it to. I know you still have every right to be frustrated with me, but I hope you can understand that I didn’t mean to hurt you that badly.”

“But the worst thing was when I found out you were cheating on me. I can't forgive that.” You say, reliving the moment when you found out in your head. Ellie looks away when you bring up the betrayal of the cheating. You can tell she truly feels bad about it. “I know... I know I really screwed up with that. And I get it if you can’t forgive me for that either. I guess... I don’t really want to make excuses, but I was just so lost in the world of partying and going out, that my thoughts weren’t very clear. I didn’t really think about anyone but myself, and I regret that decision more than you can imagine.”

Your tears immediately bring out a look of sadness and guilt from Ellie. As soon as she notices that you’re crying, she grabs your face. She wipes your tears with her thumbs and looks you in the eyes. “Please don’t cry, I’m so sorry. I’ll do anything to make things right between us. Just give me a chance.” You cover your face with your hands and continue to cry. She can’t stand to see you like this. She wipes away your tears again and pulls you into a hug. She holds you tightly, not letting go. “Please, please don’t cry... I know what I did was horrible, and I’m so sorry, but I’ll do anything to make this right. Just please tell me there’s still a chance for us.”

“I don't know, I have to think.” Ellie lets go of you when you say that. She seems like she finally realized the full gravity of her actions and how badly she messed up. She gets quiet, waiting for you to respond to her question. “Please, take your time. I don’t expect you to just forgive me immediately. Just, please let me try to fix this. I really do love you.”

“That's the hard part, because I really cared about you.” You say, still crying. She stares at you for a few seconds without saying anything, letting the silence linger between you two. She wants to say something but is not sure how to say it. Your words are hitting too close to home, and she’s really starting to feel bad and sad about everything that has happened. “I know, I know... I really did treat you terribly, and I never thought about how much you actually cared about me. I was so blinded by my selfishness that I didn’t realize how much I’d hurt you.” You look at her with tear filled eyes. She looks back at you with a look of pure sadness and remorse. She feels terrible for hurting you so badly. The fact that she did so much damage to you is eating her alive. You two are silent for a few moments and she continues to stare at you tearfully, wishing she had the ability to make everything right.

You hug your legs to your chest trying to find some comfort and calm your anxiety. She watches as you hug your legs, realizing that this is how she’s made you feel all this time. She has destroyed and hurt you so deeply and broke your trust. She’s made you feel like you can’t even take comfort in her. She tries to put a hand on your leg and comfort you but you pull your leg away instinctively, rejecting her. She can see by your reaction that you’re truly hurt and devastated. She’s really starting to regret everything. “I need time to think Ellie, can you please leave now?” You ask her, still crying. She stops trying to touch you, realizing that you aren’t ready to forgive her yet. Instead, she nods and looks down at the ground. She’s still feeling so much sadness and regret, but she respects your wishes. “Okay, I understand... I really do. Just... just take your time, and think about it... please.” She stands up and walks over to the door, pulling it open slowly.

You look at her as she walks. She looks back at you, wanting to make one last apology.

“I know you’re angry, and I get it. I really do. Just... just take it easy.” She takes one last look at you and then walks out, closing the door behind her. You start sobbing as soon as she walks out. It’s like everything is crashing down around you. You sit on the couch for a bit and keep sobbing. The pain you’re feeling is unbearable. Like you can’t function without her. Like you need her. You’ve been so hurt and betrayed by her, but that love is still there. You still love her. You decide to go to bed, and after a long day like this one, it’s not too hard to fall asleep. Your body is exhausted physically and mentally, you just want to sleep and pretend like everything is okay. You fall asleep soon after.

A few days pass, and you still can't seem to get her out of your mind. But you haven’t heard from her at all, and you don’t know what to think. You’ve been feeling depressed and lonely, not being able to stop thinking about her and the whole situation. You were at home after a long day of boring classes. Your phone buzzes in your pocket. And as you notice the vibration, you take it out of your pocket and see who has messaged you. It’s Ellie. “I know it’s only been a few days, but I’ve been thinking about what happened quite a bit. Can I come over and talk to you again?”

You take a few minutes to think about it and eventually decide to say yes. You message her back, saying, “Yes, you can come over, and we can talk.” You were watching TV when Ellie texted you. You start feeling more and more anxious and nervous, and you can’t even focus on the show you’re watching anymore. Your heart is beating faster, and you feel all the feelings from before, coming back in waves.

You hear a knock at your door and your stomach starts to flutter. You can tell that it’s Ellie because of how familiar her knock is. Your heart is beating so fast and you’re starting to feel nervous and anxious again. You get up and walk over to your front door. You can hear your heartbeat in your ear and a wave of butterflies in your stomach. You take a deep breath, open the door, and see her standing there, looking like she’s feeling just as nervous as you.

“Come in.” You say as you get out of the way. She quickly steps inside and looks at you. She looks a bit more relaxed now that she has arrived at your house, but she’s still a bit anxious. You close the door behind her and she looks around the room. She seems eager to talk now that she is here with you.

You walk back over to the couch and sit back down. Her attitude has changed a bit now that she is inside the house and feels more relaxed. She still looks like she has a lot to talk about and she seems excited to have this conversation. You look at her waiting for her to talk. She looks back at you and takes a deep breath. She seems like she’s been preparing for this conversation for a while, and she’s ready to finally get it all out in the open. “I know it’s only been a few days and I said that I was going to give you some time, but I really wanted to come back over as soon as I could. I know that you’re probably still mad and upset, but I just needed to talk to you again. ”You look up at her as she continues.“I wanted to take some time to really think about everything that happened... about everything I did. I just kept blaming everything on external factors, and I never really held myself accountable for what I did. But now, I’m not doing that anymore. I should’ve thought about how much I hurt you, and I should’ve taken into consideration what our relationship meant to you. I’ve been selfish and self-centered. And I’m really going to try and change that.”

You look up at her, taking in her words. She continues to talk, really pouring her heart out. “I also want you to know how truly sorry I am for what I did. I broke your trust, and the fact that you can’t even look me in the eye anymore is just a painful reminder of how much you distrust me now. I really want to fix this, and if it takes time for you to forgive me, I will wait.” You tear up as she talks, She looks at you, noticing that you’re tearing up and she starts to get really nervous. “Please... please don’t cry. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I really do need it. I did so much to hurt you, and I need you to let me back in your life. You’re so important to me, and I need you to know that I will never hurt you again.”

“You better not.” You say looking away from her. She gives you a solemn nod. “I promise I will never hurt you again. I understand that you need time to heal and to trust me, but when you are ready, please let me back in. I’m willing to do anything and everything to make this work again.” You look at her not sure what to say. She looks back at you, not expecting you to say anything back. You’re both feeling a lot of things right now, so she understands that it’s hard to even have any words to reply with. She takes a deep breath and looks at you. "Can I ask you something?" She takes another deep breath before asking the question, trying to prepare herself for your answer. “Can you... can you tell me if you think there's still a chance for us?”

“Maybe, I don't know…” You respond with a trembling voice. You still love her but you don't know if you can do this all over again. Her face immediately lights up with a spark of hope hearing those words. She realizes that you still consider a chance. She smiles and looks away. “That’s all I needed to hear. I just need to know that there’s some sort of chance. I know it might take a lot of time and effort for you to forgive me, and I will take every action necessary to prove to you that I can be trustworthy again.”

Your body relaxes slightly. She notices that your body has relaxed a bit, which makes her feel better. She’s glad that she at least had a slightly more positive impact than she anticipated. She looks back at you and she really starts to feel hope. “I really want this to work. You were always so good to me, too good even, and I took it for granted, but I’ll never take it for granted again, if you give me another chance.” She notices that you still have a sad expression, which makes her feel bad. She wants nothing more than to make you happy, but she knows that this might take some time. So she just keeps talking to you. She hopes that hearing the right words will make you smile and forgive her. “I know I don’t deserve another chance, but please, please I’m begging you to just give me one more. We can take all the time we need, just as long as we end up together again. "

“Let's see what time holds.” You say in a low tone, out of energy. She nods, accepting your answer. It’s not the immediate yes she wanted, but it’s still a good sign. She feels a little bit better inside. “Okay, I’ll wait. I’ll wait as long as I need to. I know I screwed up badly, and that it won’t be an easy thing to earn back your trust. But I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

You look away from her and lean back into the couch thinking of everything she has said. After a few minutes you ask her without looking at her, “Wanna watch a movie or something?” You didn't want to talk anymore but you didn't want her to go just yet either. She lights up as soon as you make the movie comment. She hadn’t thought about watching a movie with you or with anyone for a while. “Oh my god, yes. Please, I would love to watch a movie together. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do, just relax with you and watch something we both enjoy.”

“Okay then.” You pick up the remote and put something on. She gets a smile on her face as you pick up the remote and turn on the tv. She leans back on the couch and gets comfortable as she watches what you put on. It’s the first time in a while that she’s just been able to relax and do something simple with you. You can't really look at her so you just watch the TV. She notices that you won't look at her, and she wonders why. She tries not to think too hard about it, and she keeps watching the TV as well. She also notices that your mood has lightened a little bit since she walked in. Maybe you’re starting to forgive her or starting to consider giving her another chance. She smiles as she hears you laughing at the movie’s jokes. It makes her feel good to see you look like you are in a better mood, and she also can’t help but smile. She really missed this. Her mood has lightened as well, and she feels less anxious, now that she’s sitting next to you again, in your living room, watching a movie. The movie ends and you guys sit in silence for a little while, just taking in the movie and the atmosphere around you. She eventually breaks the silence by looking over at you and asking: “What did you think?”

“I liked it, had some good jokes.” You smile slightly. Her face lights up when you tell her that you liked it. She agrees, saying that it had good jokes. She then asks, “Do you want to watch another one?”

“You choose this time.” You give her the remote. Your hands briefly touch each others as you pass her the remote. She takes it from you and starts browsing through the available titles. She’s not sure what to pick, but she wants to ensure that you both enjoy this one as well. She decides on a comedy, and she presses the button to start playing. You sit back and try to relax as the movie starts. She sits back as well, trying to relax. She’s not sure if you’re fully relaxed yet, but she wants to make it that way. She watches the film with you, trying to watch it and not thinking too much. Just wanting to enjoy being in this space with you again, even if it’s only as friends. You shift positions into a more comfortable one. She notices that you’ve shifted into a more comfortable position. She also notices that you haven’t really been looking at her at all, and she’s still wondering why. But she doesn’t let her thoughts distract her too much from watching the movie. She tries to focus on enjoying the moment and not over analyzing everything. The movie ends and you look up at her. She notices your eyes on her and she looks right back at you. She can still see that you’re a bit uncomfortable, like you haven’t forgiven her yet. But she doesn’t let it get her too down, and she focuses on the fact that you’re still sitting by her and you haven’t asked her to leave yet.

“It's getting a bit late…” You say looking at your phone. She looks at the time and is surprised that so much time has gone by already. “Oh god, you’re right, it’s kind of late.” She says with a yawn.

“I should go to bed. Talk tomorrow?” You say, as you look slightly in her direction. She nods and smiles. “Yeah, let’s talk tomorrow. You get some rest, and let’s talk things over again tomorrow. Okay?”

“Okay.” You get up from the couch and open the door for her to leave and go home. She gets a small smile on her face and walks to the door. “Okay, thank you for letting me come back over. Hopefully, we can talk again tomorrow.” She stops at the door and looks back at you, waiting for you to let her out. “Good night.” She walks away and she closes the door behind her. She’s glad that you’re still willing to talk, and that you let her come back. For now she’s just going to return home, get ready for bed and try to get some rest. She hopes that she will see you tomorrow. You both get some rest and head to bed. The next morning, she wakes up early and starts getting ready for the day. She hopes that she can talk to you again and make this whole thing a little bit better. She wants nothing more than to put this drama behind you two and get back to the way things used to be.

The next day you go to class as normal. She goes to class as well, and after it’s over she decides she is going to wait for you outside the door so that she can talk to you as soon as you walk out. She hopes that you’re still willing to at least listen to her. You see her standing just by the door, waiting for you to exit. She notices you and waves at you to come over to her so that you two can talk a bit. She’s hoping that you’ll be willing to hear her out again and continue the conversation you had started yesterday. “Hi…” You say shyly. She waves at you and says, “Hi. Is it okay if we talk for a bit?”

“Sure.”, You two start walking. She walks beside you, not expecting you to be too eager. She’s just happy that you let her talk to you. She notices that you still can’t really look her in the eyes. “Can I ask you something first, just before we go?" She takes a deep breath. “Do you think we can still make this work out? Do you think that eventually you will be able to forgive me?"

“I'm not sure, Ellie, I still feel very hurt. But I don't think it is an impossibility.” You say shrugging your shoulders. She nods, feeling a bit relieved but also somewhat disheartened to hear your response. She knows that there is still a chance, but she also knows that it will take a lot of time for you to heal and to trust her again. “I know it will take time. I just needed to know that there is a chance. I know how much I hurt you, and it’s not because I didn’t care. I did care, more than anything else, but I screwed up anyway.”

“Let's not talk about those things now, okay?” You give her a small smile. She smiles back at you and nods in agreement. “All right, we don’t have to talk about those things right now.”

“Could I ask you one more thing, though? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to."

“What is it?” You ask as you walk. “I noticed that you haven’t really looked at me very much recently. Not to sound paranoid or anything, but is it because you’re trying to avoid my eyes? Is it also because of what happened?”

“I'm just not used to being with you now, I guess. It's been a long time.” You say with sincerity but that's not the only reason. She nods and thinks about your response for a moment before replying. ”I’ll try not to read too much into it. It just hurt me a little to not see you at least looking at me occasionally. But I also understand that maybe it’s just strange for you to see me again. We haven’t seen each other for a while after all.” You two walk and sit outside on a bench together. She sits down beside you on the bench and looks at you, waiting for you to say something. “We’re still talking, and that’s a good sign. Can I ask you one more personal question?”

“Yes?” You reply a bit anxious. She gets a little nervous as she realizes how personal the question she’s going to ask really is. “It is kind of weird. It’s something you really don’t have to answer if you don't want to.”

“Okay…” You respond cautiously. She takes another deep breath before asking the question. “Do you still have feelings for me? Or did you completely lose them?”

“i ... “ You got nervous as she asked it. “I think there's still something there…” You say almost in a whisper. She notices that you get a little bit nervous when she asked the question, and in response she puts her hand over yours. “I’m not asking because I want an immediate yes or no answer. If you need more time, then you can have it. I just need to know, please. Do you have any feelings left for me?” You can feel her calloused hands that you have been missing so much these past months. The size difference between your hands compared to hers is quite funny. Yours almost looks like a childs. You look at her hand on yours. “I think there's still something there…” You say quietly, but loud enough for her to hear. You continue to look down at your hands and her tattoo on her right forearm. She smiles slightly and squeezes your hand. “I’m really glad to hear that. I know this will take time, but I really didn’t want you to completely lose all those feelings. You can take all the time you need, but I’m glad we both know that you haven’t given up on us yet." You give her a shy smile. She smiles back at you, relieved. She didn’t want this whole thing to be a lost cause, and knowing that you still have feelings for her, even if they’ve faded a bit, is enough to make her at least feel a little bit better. She leans over close to you in an attempt to lighten the mood. “See? You still have a soft spot for me.”

“Don't get too cocky now.” You say playfully. She laughs slightly in response to your playful comment.

“Okay okay, I might have assumed too much. But you have to admit, there is still something here between us. You haven’t walked away and you’re still willing to talk to me. That means something.”

“I guess it does.” You look up at her. She glances up at you again, enjoying this little moment between the two of you. “Yeah, it definitely does. I’m glad that I still mean something to you.” You hold her hand back. She feels your hand grasping hers. She enjoys the feeling of your hand in hers, even just for a bit. She then squeezes your hand a little, trying to show you how much she wants to be with you. “Even though we’re not back together, this doesn’t feel so bad either, does it? We’re getting closer every day.”

You lean your head on her shoulder slowly. She feels your head on her shoulder and she feels a rush of affection. She really loves feeling close to you. She puts her arm around you, holding you tightly. It feels so good to have you back where she wants you. “I love that you’re leaning on me. I guess we are getting closer after all.” You close your eyes and just enjoy the moment for a bit. When you close your eyes, she takes this as an opportunity to get even closer. And so, she pulls you a little more towards her, and her arm wraps around your shoulders, pulling you so that your bodies are touching. She still doesn’t want to push it too far, but she really wants to feel closer to you at this moment. You get butterflies as she pulls you closer. She can feel your heartbeat through your body, beating so rapidly and so strongly. She’s so close to you, she can smell your scent and it makes her feel butterflies too. She doesn’t say anything, she just wants to soak this moment in and enjoy being this close to you.

A few weeks later you were hanging out at her place. You have been getting along quite well and she hadn't messed up anything yet. You had gone out together a few times, studied together, hung out like you used to, gone on “dates”' with her, as she liked to call them. She was really putting in the effort this time. You had had a few really great days, with your time together becoming more frequent and more intimate. Just being close to her felt good, like you two used to feel. She had even started to open up a little as well. You had been taking things slow and it was going well. You still felt some pain when you thought of the past. But you can't deny that you want to go a little further with her. You're just a bit scared to make a move. You sit next to her on the couch, cuddling up to her as you watch a movie together.

You hold her hand. She feels your hand taking hers, wrapping around it tightly. She can still feel those butterflies in her stomach from just being with you. She doesn't reply in words, instead just simply squeezing your hand. It feels comforting to have you holding her hand again. You smile a bit not looking at her but at the TV. She notices that you're looking straight ahead, never taking your eyes off the screen. She finds this cute, but she decides to try to distract you just a little. With her other hand she starts to rub the palm of your hand. The rubbing of her thumb starts to lightly stroke your palm a little. You feel the butterflies appearing once more. The slight rubbing of her thumb against the palm of your hand seems to have an effect. You can feel your heart beating a little faster, so you know that those butterflies are definitely there. She smiles a little as she continues to rub your palm, wanting to see if she can make the butterflies keep coming back. She also wants to see how long until you're not able to resist her touch. You lean your head on her shoulder as you watch the movie. She smiles as you lean your head on her shoulder, she has a feeling that you're getting more and more comfortable with her again. She continues to rub your palm with her thumb, wanting to keep those butterflies around for just a little while longer.

You chuckle at the funny scene on the screen. She also lets off a little laugh as the movie scene plays out. As she laughs she continues to rub the palm of your hand a bit, wanting to keep that feeling of butterflies for as long as she can. You hold her hand a little tighter, She feels your squeeze and she smiles a little as a response. She continues to rub her thumb against the palm of your hand. It feels so nice to be so close to you again, she just wants to stay like this. As the movie ends you don't move, and neither does she. You just sit there, with your bodies pressed up next to each other. You can feel the heat coming from her and it just makes you feel so comfortable. She's waiting for you to say something, or to do something. This might be the perfect moment for you to take the next step in your reconciliation. It's all up to you. You nuzzle into her neck a bit more. As you nuzzle into her neck, she smiles and wraps her other arm around you. You can feel the warmth of her body and she feels the warmth of yours as well. It's a very calming and relaxing feeling to be close to her like this again. You're just enjoying having her like this, just the two of you, sitting, nuzzling, and enjoying each others' company.

“I missed this…” You say quietly. She smiles when she hears you say those words. It just makes her feel so happy knowing that you like being this close to her again. “I did miss this as well.” She says quietly, then she pulls you even closer and kisses your neck lightly. She’s waiting to see how you’ll respond to this, hoping that you’ll like it and that it’ll make you happy. You feel a bit caught off guard by the neck kiss. She can feel your body reacting to it and tensing up a bit, and it makes her feel so proud. You had been taking things a little slowly up to this point, but this feels like the next right step. This seems like a natural way for the two of you to have physical intimacy, and she can feel that you’re enjoying it. She pulls you a little bit closer still, wanting to get even closer to you. You look up at her a bit confused.

She sees you look up at her and she smiles at you. Her smile seems more genuine than before. She keeps kissing your neck lightly and slowly, not wanting to go too fast, but she knows what you like and where you like to be touched. She wants to make this experience as pleasurable for you as possible. You giggle as the kisses are tickling your neck. She smiles at your giggle, finding it incredibly cute. She likes making you happy, and so she continues the kisses on your neck, still waiting to see if you want more or if you want her to stop. It starts to feel like more than just mere innocent kisses as she continues. She keeps going, wanting to see how far she can take this before you pull back. She doesn’t want to go all the way and take this too far if you're not comfortable, but she wants to get to a point where she can feel confident that you’re as comfortable with this as she is with you.

You start to blush a bit. She notices this new development as you start to blush. She takes this as a positive sign that you’re liking what she’s doing and that’s really what matters to her. She keeps kissing along your neck, and then moves to softly kissing your cheeks and cheek bone. She wants you to feel this intimacy and closeness, and it feels amazing for her as well. You close your eyes as you feel her lips on your skin. She takes note of the fact that you’ve closed your eyes, and this makes her feel amazing. That you’re now so comfortable with her and your intimacy that you’ve closed your eyes for her. It makes her feel more confident, and also more loving and caring. She moves her hands to your shoulders, wanting to pull you in as tightly as possible so that it’s just the two of you sharing this moment together. You hold her as well. You wrap your arms around her as she pulls you in. You two are holding each other, cuddling up tight as you both soak in this intimate moment. She can feel the heat from your body, and it feels so amazing. She’s enjoying this as much as you are. At this point she’s not sure how much further you want this to go, but she’s enjoying every bit of being close to you again, and she’s not in a rush. The two of you stay close together for quite awhile, as she just enjoys this moment with you. It feels nice to be this close, as well as to have this level of intimacy. The two of you are truly starting to connect again, and feel like it’s the beginning of your reconciliation. Although she’s not rushing this, she also is not opposed to taking things a bit further if that’s what you want. She also knows that you probably would want to at some point, by your body language. You give her a quick peck on the cheek and lean back on her shoulder. She smiles as you give her a kiss on the cheek, and as you lean your head on her shoulder again. At this point she’s not sure just how much intimacy you want, but she will allow you to test just where your limits are. She rubs her fingers around your shoulders gently in an attempt to make you feel completely loved and cherished.

“I missed feeling like this…” You say feeling the warmth of her touch. She smiles a little at that. She liked knowing that she was able to make you feel these warm and loving feelings again. “So did I. I’ve missed being this close to you, I’ve missed feeling this kind of intimacy with you.” Her words warm your heart. She knows that the words she’s saying are things you truly want to hear. She keeps giving you words of love and affection, wanting to make you feel even more reassured about the fact that things really are okay between the two of you again. After a bit you sit back up straight, and stretch from the position you had been in, watching the movie. She notices your stretching and decides to sit up as well. She had loved having you so close, but she could see that you were getting a little bit uncomfortable after being in that position for so long. She then looks at you, not sure what to say next or if there’s anything that needs to be said at all. You sit facing her on the couch, not sure what to say. The two of you have been quiet for a bit now, just sitting there on the couch with nothing to say. She feels that this moment might be a little bit awkward, so she decides to break the silence. “So what should we do now?” She asks, deciding to switch back to one of your usual topics of conversation.

“You still have mario kart?” You ask, smiling. She smiles back when you bring up Mario Kart and says, “I do actually. I had it brought over when I was moving to campus. Do you really want to play Mario Kart with me?” She says this in a joking manner, but she’s really not joking. That was something the two of you had done many times together back in your relationship, and she’d love to do it again if you’re up for it. “I'll win, you'll see.” You say looking at her with a smug face. She laughs a little at your cocky attitude, but she also really likes it. She can’t deny that your confidence makes her even more attracted to you, even in this playful way. “Oh yeah? You think you could beat me?” She asks you with a playful grin. “I know I can.” You nudge her slightly. She smiles when you nudge her and replies, “Oh no, you did not just say that. You wanna put your money where your mouth is then? I will own you in Mario Kart.”

“Put the game on then…” You look at her teasingly. She takes that as the challenge that it is, and pulls out the game cartridge, and puts it into the console where she then turns the system on. She then selects multiplayer and gets the set-up ready. “You ready to lose?” She asks you with a playful grin, waiting for you to take the controller and get this going. “Are you ready to get absolutely destroyed?” You reply with a smirk on your face. She laughs at your confidence and replies, “Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you. Have you seen me play Mario Kart? I can be quite formidable.”

“I think you are forgetting my skills.” You say in a teasing manner. She smirks at your comment, feeling even more confident in her skills than before. “Are you saying that you’ve got more or better skills than I do? Because I highly doubt that.”

“Let's see then.” The race starts. When the race starts she smiles at you. She hits the gas and starts to speed up, and before too long she moves ahead of you in first place. It’s just the first lap, but she’s already off to a strong start. You throw turtles at her and get in the first place yourself. She feels one of the turtle shells hit her as you overtake her, and she ends up falling back to second place. She doesn’t let this slow her down though, and she does what she can to gain back the first spot. She still sees that there’s no way you would be able to maintain this pace, which is giving her hope. She’s not going to lose this just yet. On the last lap you were neck-to-neck. You and her battle this final lap, back and forth as you take the lead, and then she overtakes you. It almost seems like this race is being played at a constant, neck-to-neck position. She’s getting slightly more nervous now, but she doesn’t let that show. She’s determined to win this race. You drive over a speed boost and pass her, winning the race at the last minute. She can’t believe it, she tried so hard only to have you take the win at the last possible second. She feels a little betrayed, even though she knows she should just be happy for you. She doesn’t say anything as you finish ahead of her, just trying to keep her composure and trying to not let her pride and ego get the best of her.

“And now who's the better player?” You look at her teasingly. She smiles at this but can’t help but be annoyed that you’re right about being the better player. “I hate you.” She says half jokingly, but she doesn’t let this take away from the fact that she loves your confidence. “No you don't.” You get a bit closer to her. She gets a bit embarrassed when you get so close, but it still makes her happy. “Maybe not, you are a pretty good player.” She says teasingly, but she can’t deny that you really are a good player indeed.

“Wasn't so hard to admit, was it?” You say in a teasing way, getting closer to her face whilst looking at her. She feels her heart beating faster when you come even closer to her own face, and it makes her blush lightly. “No, I guess it wasn't so hard.” She admits, being fully aware that you are teasing her in a playful way, which she finds to be quite humorous. You continue to look her in the eyes. She can’t help but keep looking into your eyes too, feeling very close and comfortable with you. This was something she very much enjoyed, that intimate, closeness of being face-to-face with you like this. You start feeling the butterflies again as you look at her. Your eyes speak volumes as you look at each other. She feels the connection between you two is growing more and more as you continue to look at her like this. She notices that your heart rate seems to be increasing, as well as how you can’t stop looking at her. This is an incredibly intimate moment, with that mix of nerves due to how fast your heart rate is increasing. She's enjoying this though, seeing you become so affected by her and the closeness between you two. You shake your head and sit back straight looking at the TV. She sees that you’re now sitting straight and looking away. She feels a bit bad that she might’ve been a little bit too close and maybe overwhelmed you. She decides to sit back a bit from you, just so that you’re not feeling like she’s taking it too far too soon. She’s not trying to move too fast, so she backs away just a little.

“Want a rematch?” You look at her with a smile after a few seconds. She laughs when you ask about a rematch, but she’s not opposed to it. “Oh, so if I beat you, will you admit that I’m better?” She says with a laugh, not taking your challenge too seriously.

“I'm going to win again, you'll see.” You had a smirk on your face as you said it. She smiles at your confidence, feeling very amused by you and enjoying this playful side you’re showing. “Oh is that so? Well, let's just see about that then.” She says, ready to beat you during this rematch.

The rematch starts, and you and her are neck to neck the whole way through it once again, each of you taking the lead only for the other one to take the lead from the other again. But before too long, you manage to secure yourself the number one position, pulling ahead by just a little bit and beating her out the race once more. You laugh as you win, looking at her. “How does it feel to lose?” You tease her playfully. She laughs back at this, feeling a little bit frustrated that she’s lost twice in a row now. “Not great, I’ll admit. I had hoped I’d do a little better, but it seems you’ve got me beat.” She admits, still trying to keep her cool.

“I do, don't I?” You get closer to her again. As you get closer to her she feels a more intense feeling of butterflies rushing through her. It’s that same feeling of closeness that she felt a few minutes ago. “Yes, you really do. You’re an extremely good player, I have to admit.” She says, continuing to speak with a bit of humor in her voice.

“I’m the best really…” You say teasingly. She laughs. “Oh, you're the best? That's quite egotistical of you, don't you think?” She says in a bit of a teasing manner as well. You look at her with a teasing look in your eyes. She looks back at you, seeing the look on your eyes. She thinks it’s very cute, and she smiles at the sight. She can’t help but feel that happy with you being so close to her, and that playful look in your eyes, it’s making her feel slightly flustered.

“Oh are you blushing now?” You tease her again. She sees that you noticed her slight blush and feels a bit embarrassed, but she keeps quiet about this. She decides to just play along with you, keeping a teasing tone as well. “Maybe I am blushing a little, but I just can’t help it when I'm this close to you.”

“I'm irresistible, I know.” You look her dead in the eyes with a smile. She feels like her heart is racing as she stares back at you. It honestly doesn’t feel like she can tear her eyes away from yours. She’s feeling that same feeling of butterflies rushing throughout her, but this intense look between you two also adds another layer to this. She can feel herself get a bit more flustered. “See? You can't even answer me anymore.” You hold her chin speaking in a lower voice. The way you are now holding her chin just makes everything even more intense for her. The low voice and the way you’re looking at her makes her feel slightly breathless. She can’t find the words to speak back, as her heart races all that much faster now. You get slightly closer to her, “Cat got your tongue?”

She feels like her heart is going 120 miles per hour as you get ever so close to her. She can’t speak a single word, and can barely breathe even. Your voice is making it hard for her to focus on anything else but you and how close you are right now. She’s just staring back at you, not knowing what to do or say to this. “Maybe I should check if your tongue is still there…” You look at her lips and then at her eyes again. Her eyes widen when she realizes that you may be thinking about kissing her. She gets so flustered when you mention even the possibility of it. It’s like all her thoughts are blocked up whenever she thinks about kissing you. She tries to find her voice again but just can’t think of any reply to this. She feels her face get even hotter and more flushed the more she imagines you kissing her.

You look at her for a few more seconds before kissing her hard and pull your body to hers instantaneously, completely losing yourself in the moment when your lips touched hers. The first second of contact is an indescribable feeling. The next thing she knows, you’re pulling her into you, and she feels all of you pressed up against her while your lips are locking with hers. The sensation is overwhelmingly hot, and there’s nothing she could do to get herself out of this. She was lost in you, and she loves this feeling. You hold her face firmly as you kiss her. She feels the warmth of your lips on hers, and all thought is suddenly completely blocked out, leaving room only for pure emotion. This kiss was hot, and she didn’t want it to end any time soon. She was feeling that intense feeling of pure connection, and she just wanted more of you, she couldn’t get enough of it. As you pull her into you, she also moves her hands to your body, and your bodies become intertwined as you both feel the warmth between you two. You can feel her hands moving up and down, exploring every single inch of your skin.

Lost in the moment you straddle her on the couch, continuing to kiss her like there's no tomorrow. It’s like nothing else mattered at this moment aside from the two of you. The intensity that was rising from inside both of you made every moment a pure, unadulterated experience. She didn’t know anything anymore other than the passion that was exploding all over her. She could feel the heat inside her rising with each kiss, and as you straddled her she couldn’t have cared what anyone or anything thought of this moment that she was so lost in. You hold her hair back as you pull her in for another kiss. There’s something so intoxicating about the way you kiss her, and she can’t get enough of you. There’s nothing else that matters anymore, just you and her. Her face is so hot from the passion of this intense moment between two people who were once separated by so much, but now they couldn’t be any more connected in this moment together.

As the tension builds up you take your top off. Her breath catches at the sight of you pulling it off. Her eyes are completely locked on you, watching every single layer of clothing come off of you. The sight of this is making the heat inside her feel all the more intense. Her mouth waters at the notion of how much closer you two will become. You look at her after taking it off and go back to kissing her. She feels that same intense feeling inside of her again as she watches you take off your top that was between you two. She feels her breath catch again, as it makes the moment even more intense and much hotter. It’s almost as if her body is completely unable to do anything else other than kiss you and feel the overwhelming feelings flooding through her. You start feeling your core heating up as you two make out. You had wanted this for so long and now you just couldn't stop. Your brain could only think of one thing: Ellie.

You feel her hands on your waist and you get shivers. Her hands continue to move up and down your body, making your entire body shiver. It’s like she has this powerful control over you, and you're entirely being taken over by these intense feelings. She does suddenly get that feeling of wanting to be the one in control. She moves herself onto you and she feels that same sort of control surge through her. She’s now straddling you and leaning down to kiss you again. You look up at her as she takes control. She makes sure to maintain eye contact with you as she holds you with her weight and kisses you passionately. The control really does feel like it's hers now, and she’s taking no chances of losing it again. She’s going to stay in control as long as she can, since it feels that much more fun to be taking the lead.

You suddenly remember the way you two interacted behind closed doors. Especially in the bedroom. The power dynamic between you two used to be very intense and you loved it. Your heart starts to race as you see her behavior change so drastically. She manages to pick you up from the couch, and she puts you down on her bed, not letting go of your body the entire time. This moment has never felt more intense. Her control is now so much more powerful this way, and she feels so good being the one to be taking charge of the situation. You look up at her after she throws you on the bed. She stares down at you, looking at you very intensely that she has you under her complete control in the bed. Her expression is that of someone who intends to have her way. There was nothing she wouldn’t do to get this moment exactly how she wanted it to be.

She takes off her t-shirt to let her body feel the open air of this moment. Her eyes are still locked on you as she begins to take off your shorts. She does this very slowly and passionately, keeping an intense stare at you the entire time. You look at her not being able to get your eyes off of hers. She seems to be enjoying this power dynamic that the two of you have. She missed having you at her mercy. She’s taking as much time as she wants with you, so she can see every inch of your body. She’s not moving as quickly as she would normally, but she wants this moment to last as long as the two of you want.

At each moment she grew more and more dominant, she was enjoying this feeling very much, knowing that you were completely hers. She enjoyed the feeling of having someone under her complete control so much, she would love to keep it going just a little bit longer. She gets on top of you, pressing herself right between your legs, keeping her weight on top of you. She feels very dominant in this position, feeling that same intense feeling of butterflies inside her from before. She can see how much this is affecting you, and feels a little bit of a rush from this feeling of power. You are feeling very turned on by her. The way you felt before she got on top of you was just the beginning of how much more you would feel. Not only do you feel the dominance of her, but also the intensity of her body pressed up against yours. She was feeling very hot laying on top of you like this, and she enjoyed how much it seemed to be turning you on. The friction on your crotch is starting to make you go insane.

“Fuck…” You mumble out as she looks at you dead in the eyes. The feeling of dominance is very strong when she stares you down. She can see your face grow redder as you begin to mumble, and she knows that the feeling of her weight on you is doing something to you. Her lips meet yours once more, and you feel the same intense feeling that you felt in her eyes when she first kissed you. It’s as if your entire body was just being completely overcome with euphoria and it was the only feeling you could process. She makes out with you very intensely, but after some time passes she gets up from the bed, looking back down at you. “Take your bra off, now.” The way she commands you to take off your bra makes your heartbeat speed up just that much more. She has an extremely commanding personality, and it was clear that she wouldn’t take no for an answer at this moment. You sit up and do as she says. She watches carefully as you do what she had ordered you to do. She can notice the nervous and tense nature of your hands as they begin to slowly take your bra off. Once you were finally done, she stares right at you, with an even more intense focus than before.

She stares down at your bare chest and gets slightly more excited. She loves the sight of your body, and she can’t help but let her gaze linger. It’s like her eyes are locked on your beautiful tits, and she feels such a strong urge to kiss you again. She kisses you passionately, but what’s even more interesting for you is the feeling of her hands on your body. She seems to be roaming all over it, just exploring every inch of your skin. Then one of her hands cups your breast and starts fondling it. You feel these tiny little goosebumps come over your skin as she runs her hands all over you. She keeps her hands moving constantly, running them up along your sides, up and down your thighs, all over your body making every inch of your skin seem to shiver. You let out small moans into the kiss. As she kept kissing you, she noticed that you started letting out small moans each time. This was very intense for her, and she couldn’t help but like the sound of those soft moans coming from you. They were making her go crazy. She places her hand on your thigh and her touch feels so good against your skin. It’s almost like she’s taking over your whole body, leaving no inch untouched.

She looks at you as she moves her hand upwards. She sees that you noticed her touching your thigh, and she moves her hand. Your breath catches as her hand comes higher and higher, you keep waiting for her to stop but she keeps moving up. You look at her, trying to catch your breath. You’re trying to keep yourself from letting out too many sounds, but you can’t help but let out some soft exhales each time she goes higher. You feel the excitement rising within you, feeling every second of this moment and all of the movement of her hand. She finally reached the spot she had wanted and you feel your breath catch in your throat when she does that. She seemed to have noticed your reaction to her and you see that she smirks for a second before continuing what she was doing just now. She starts moving her fingers over the cloth of your panties, still looking at you, biting her lower lip. Her finger movements are so subtle and light that they just feel like small waves washing over that one spot, making you shiver. She can tell this is just exactly where she wants to be, and seeing you bite your lip in anticipation is making the moment so much more exciting. She can feel how aroused you are getting. She feels the intensity of your arousal slowly rising, the wet patch forming on your underwear, and the feeling of this power she had over you is incredibly intoxicating. She liked the feeling of knowing that she could make you feel this way, and she wasn’t planning on letting you go any time soon.

“Fuck…” You let out as she continues to move her fingers. The sound of your voice as you let out these little curses just makes her grin more. It’s very clear that she had hit the right spot, just as she remembered it. She gets overtaken by her feeling of control and orders you to get on your knees in front of her. She completely takes over this moment. “On your knees, now.” Her voice is not soft anymore, but raspy and demanding. Her level of dominance was through the roof, and she couldn’t take it anymore. You were hers again. It’s like she’s taking over your entire mind with her demands. Your thoughts can only really focus on one thing right now as you get on your knees in front of her, waiting to see what she’s going to do next. She sits on the bed manspreading with you right in between her legs. You have no idea what to expect, but she seems to know exactly what she’s going to do. Her legs are completely spread wide, with her sitting on the edge of the bed. Her stare is once again incredibly intense, and you can’t stop but feel excited and a little bit nervous all at once.

You look up at her eyes. Her eyes seem to be almost like she’s looking into your entire soul, and she feels more in control than ever before with your gaze focused entirely at her. She feels such a strong power over you in this moment, and she can’t help but start to let out a small smirk on her lips as she watches you keep looking at her. She holds your chin and looks at you. The way she holds your chin and looks directly into your eyes makes this feeling of intense power even stronger. She seems to be enjoying herself very much with this level of dominance over you. “Are you going to be a good girl for me?” She asks, looking you dead in the eyes, still holding your chin. She looks deep into your eyes as she asks you that question, and you can already feel the pressure that the question itself is placing on you. You can tell she expects you to be a good girl now, so you better not disappoint her. You nod as she waits for your response. She can see how you nod, and that seems to be the answer she was looking for. She smiles wide and says, “Good girl.” She gives you a little kiss on your forehead as a reward for your response, but makes it clear that the expectation of you being a good girl is not going away any time soon. With her thumb brushing against your lips, it seems as though she’s just playing around with you. She seems to be enjoying taking control and playing with you, as it’s making you feel some of the most intense emotions that you’ve ever felt in a while.

“Open up.” She says in a low voice as she puts her thumb into your mouth. The moment her thumb is in your mouth, you feel a sense of euphoria that you would have never thought was possible you would ever feel again. All of the feelings that she’s been giving you up until now feel as though they are being brought to the next level. She had really taken control of this moment, and you could feel her thumb moving inside of your mouth in a way that just made it feel even more incredible than you could have ever expected. Your breath caught in such a way that you couldn’t help but let out some more of those little curses. Your lips wrap around her thumb, and you really let yourself sink into this act. After you sucked on her thumb, she kisses you again, and it feels like all of the intense emotions are just growing even further. You can feel the same kind of sensation as before, and you didn’t imagine it could be possible to have someone take over your entire body like this again.

“Now, you are going to stay right there like a good girl and I'll be right back.” She says to you as she gets up to go get something, but her final words make you wait right there as she tells you to stay put. You follow her orders the entire time she’s gone, knowing that she’ll have something else in store for you when she arrives back. You keep looking down at the ground as you await her return, still in that same position you were told to stay in. You can’t help but notice this level of dominance she was taking over you, and the way she just made you stay in this position and wait for her was really making you feel something very exciting. She comes back and praises you for not moving as she demanded. The act of staying so perfectly still when you had been told to wait made you feel incredibly good when she praised you for following her orders perfectly. You didn’t expect to be acting so perfectly submissive, but you didn’t mind one bit either. She sits on the bed and says. “Come sit on my lap. Be a good girl for me, yeah?” You immediately feel a rush as she says those words. You follow them like the good girl she demanded you to keep being, and you have no problem with doing what she asks you to do. You sit on her lap and she smiles wide when she sees that you are complying again with her wishes.

She starts lightly touching your body and tracing it with her fingers. Her light touches feel just as incredible as before as she lightly touches your chest and stomach with her fingers, tracing them all along your body and creating some of the most intense feelings that you’ve ever felt. She seemed to be enjoying herself again, finding every inch of your body and enjoying just how much she could get you to tremble under her grasp. She is loving feeling this dominance over you again. She really missed you. Her fingers now move down to your thighs, tracing around them in circles. You can practically feel the sensation of tingling, moving through your body with each touch of her fingers. You see her staring at you as you sit on her lap, and she continues to move her fingers slowly upwards. She makes it very clear that she’s looking to touch and explore just about every inch of your body. The moment her fingers get to where she wanted, your sopping cunt, you find yourself letting out another of these little curses for just how intense this all was. Her lips curl up into a smile as she sees how much effect her fingers have on you. You felt the most intense sensation when she touched your clit through the wet fabric, and you couldn’t help but let out these little sounds. The way she kept moving her fingers in tiny circles a little faster had you feeling every tiny movement. She made it so that she was really making you have another level of sensation that just made this entire experience even more exciting.

You look at her biting your lower lip. The way you bit your lower lip in reaction to this made the moment for her even more intense. You just looked like such a good girl and she still had so much further to go with you. “I'm going to make you feel good now, okay?” She said in a teasing tone as she slid your panties to the side feeling how wet you really were. Your body responded instantly to these words of hers as you felt a surge of nervousness and excitement all over you. She didn’t have to explain at all what kind of feelings she was referring to, your body already knew. The whole point of this interaction so far had been based on letting her be in control, so when she said that she would make you feel good, you knew that she would. She can clearly see from your reaction how much these touches mean to you, and she loved it. That smirk of hers seemed to widen even more when she heard your moans of pleasure as she slowly inserted one of her slender fingers inside you slowly. Because of this new level of excitement that was building between you, she started to feel unstoppable. “Do you like that?” She asks. The moment she asked you this, you found yourself nodding yes instantly. You were already feeling so much from her touches and your body was enjoying every moment of it. So of course you liked it. She starts moving her finger in and out of you a little faster as her other hand holds the back of your head so you continue to look at her. The way she kept going faster had you feel pure ecstasy as she looked you in the eyes so you know who is in charge here. “I'm going to make you feel even better, okay?” She said in a low and raspy tone. Your body responded instantly to these words of hers. Then she inserted another finger into your tight hole and started moving them even faster, curling them inside you. She hit your g spot on the first try. She knew your body too well, and hadn't forgotten one single bit.

She can clearly see from your reaction how much these touches are affecting you, and she loved it. That smirk of hers seemed to widen even more because of this new level of excitement that was building between you. “Do you like that?” She asked as she kept going faster and harder. You started feeling that familiar knot in your stomach form. The moment she asked you this, you found yourself nodding yes instantly again. You were already feeling so much from her touches and your body was enjoying every moment of it. So of course you loved it. You felt like you were about to cum at any second now. She didn't stop for one second until she heard your moans as you felt your orgasm wash over you. She felt really confident as she made you cum. You couldn’t wait to feel what would come next. She slowly took her fingers from inside you and brought them up into her mouth sucking your juices. She went feral when she tasted you again after so much time. The moment she grabbed at the hem of your underwear, your eyes widened a little because she had really taken it to the next level. Up until now, it had felt somewhat familiar and maybe just a little bit intense, but this was on a whole new level. You felt yourself getting very aroused by her again. This whole time she had been making you feel this intense feeling within you, but you can tell that she wants more. She is going to fuck you until you beg her to stop. There's no going back now.

Her smirk keeps getting wider every time you react to her touch, so this was getting even more exciting for her. She had been enjoying herself the whole time, but it was still a very important thing for her to see how much this was having an impact on you as well. She lays you down on the bed, her hand still touching you as she looks down on you. You can see her looking down at you with that same wide smirk on her face, and you still don’t know how much further this will go yet. “Take them off baby girl.” She orders you to take your last remaining piece of clothing as she watches. She motions to your panties that were completely soaked at this point. You take them off slowly. You are now completely bare. Every time she sees you take your clothes off, she seems to get more and more excited. She had never expected you to show off this level of submission so soon, but she was loving every second of it. She felt this new level of power, and she is taking full advantage of it.

She looks at you with a hungry gaze as she seems to be enjoying this entire situation. Your body is completely exposed to her now, and she’s ready to take full advantage of it. You liked it, and you couldn’t wait to feel what would come next. You look up at her, waiting. She continues to look at your body, admiring it, just enjoying this whole situation way too much. Her eyes seem to be glued to you, and she wasn’t going to break that focus anytime soon. Ellie opens your legs and looks at the mess she just made of you. She feels proud of herself, but she will make you scream her name in no time. She knows it. She still knows what you like and what makes you go crazy. She remembers every touch and every spot that made you beg for her to stop. As she opens up your legs, you can feel the sensation of just how deep her power has reached over you. You are completely exposed, your body is completely bare in front of her, and you are completely in her control.

“Ellie…” You tried to speak up but then suddenly her expression changed into a serious one. “Ellie? You know that's not how you address me.” She looks a bit annoyed waiting for you to call her the same name as when you were still together. “Come on now, you know full well that's not my name…” You look up at her blushing as you remember what she liked to be called. “Do I have to spell it out? Or are you going to be a good girl?” She said in a low and raspy voice, but with a very serious look on her face. You knew how possessive she would get every time you had sex. You finally got the guts to say it out loud, so you take a deep breath and tell her what she wants to hear. “Yes daddy… Sorry daddy…” You look away from her as she gets her smirk back on her face. “Wasn't so hard was it? Good girl.” She said and you felt every hair in your body go up. Your quick apology and change of vocabulary has her smile getting even wider, as you knew she loved being called that, just as much as you liked being treated as such. She was loving this entire situation. She looks back down at you with her gaze, looking you up and down like you were some kind of an object of her own creation. Your body belongs to her now, and she was not going to let you go. She continues to look at you for a moment, before she eventually moves her finger to you. She seems to be considering something, but you can’t exactly tell what it is yet. You wait patiently for her to touch you again. She touches you lightly once again, moving her hand down to your pussy and this time, she seems to be moving her fingers a bit quicker. She seemed to be thinking what to do with you next, and you couldn’t help but feel a rush of adrenaline with this kind of change. She looked at what she had gotten up to get when she told you to get on your knees. You recognized that box. You know what's inside it, and you can't believe this is really happening.

She notices you looking at the box and smiles as she sees your reaction to it. “You know what that is, don't you baby girl?...” You look up at her and see her eyes are filled with desire. Her pupils blown at the sight of you naked in front of her. “I’m going to use it on you now, and you are going to take it without any complaints, understood?” She said as she held your neck so you would look straight in her eyes. She squeezed it a bit to get an answer out of you. “Yes daddy…” You responded with your brows furrowed, looking at her. She gives you a passionate kiss and then pulls back leaving you wanting more. “Good girl. Don't move while daddy gets things ready, understood?” You nod instantaneously. She smiles at you with a teasing look in her eyes. She goes to her bedside table and takes out some lube from the drawer. She then takes her jeans off, still looking at you making sure you don't move. She's now only in her sports bra and her boxers. You look at her toned body and only get more aroused at the sight of her. She opens the box and takes off her strap. Your eyes widen as she does. She noticed your excitement and a smirk appeared on her face once more. She put it on and walked over to you, with your legs still wide open for her. She opens the lube tube and puts some on her deep purple strap. She always referred to it as her cock, sometimes she wishes it was real, so she could feel how hot and tight you are while she fucks you. She holds the base as she spreads the lube on her cock as she looks you dead in the eyes with a predatory look. “Are you ready for me to stretch your tight little hole?” She asks you as she lines the tip with your entrance. You look up at her and nod. She looks at you with an animalistic expression on her face. You gulp as you wait for her to move. She teases you a bit before actually pushing it in.

“Fuck… I wanted this for so long…” She says as she looks down at your cunt, ready to penetrate you. “Be a good girl and take what I give you, yeah?” She says this as she pushes it inside you slowly, making you let out moans. You weren't used to the size of her strap anymore. It hurt a little bit but it hurt so good though. When she is completely inside you she gives you a quick kiss and as she does that she starts moving her hips, thrusting into you. She loves the sounds you make but she doesn't want her neighbors to complain about it so she covers your mouth. “Shut up you slut.” Your eyes widened as she called you that name. You can't lie. You loved her dirty talk, and it just made you feel something tingle in your tummy. She started fucking into you a bit faster and she smirked at your expression as she did so. As she thrusts into you she starts losing that smirk and looks at you with predatory eyes. She starts going faster and harder, making you let out tiny sounds as her hand is still over your mouth. She is really enjoying having you like this. Like she wants. You are hers now and she'll use you as she pleases. With her other hand she holds your hips so she can thrust harder into you making you whine every time she enters you. “No making any noise, yeah?” She asks you more like a demand, as she takes her hand off of your mouth. You nod trying not to moan out loud. She smiles mischievously as she sees you struggle to stay quiet. “You know what happens when you don't do as I say, don't you?” She looks at you with a smirk on her face as she watches your facial expressions. “Yes daddy…” You respond trying not to make too much noise. “Good girl, you dont want daddy to punish you, do you?”

“No daddy, I'll be a good girl for you.” You say as she continues to fuck you relentlessly. She's feeling on top of the world having you under her like that. She missed fucking you. Especially like this. The other girls she was with when you were broken up never got to this level. She'd get tired of them. But you? She could never get tired of you. The fact that it was such a quick response made her look over at you with even more desire, and she had this look of complete control written all over her face. She continued to fuck you, and this time, she started rubbing your clit at the same time and moved her fingers even faster than before. This was her way of making you feel good, and you could already tell that you were going to enjoy yourself. You felt the knot forming again as you looked up at her still trying not to make any noise but some whimpers and little curses still escaped your mouth from time to time. She felt really proud of herself as you were getting closer to your second orgasm of the night. She continued and you couldn't take it anymore. “Can i cum daddy? Please?” You ask with pleading eyes not sure how long you'd be able to hold it in.

“I don't know… Do you think you deserve it? Have you been a good girl?” You look at her, pressing your lips together trying to stay quiet. “Yes daddy, I have.” You tell her as you feel like you're about to burst. She smiles down at you as you speak. “Okay baby girl, cum for me then. Cum all over my cock.” Ellie could swear she could feel your walls clenching around her strap. You finally let go and moan as you orgasm. It was so intense that you couldn’t not make sound. She watched you cum as her strap also hit her clit every time she thrusted. She could cum just from looking at you. “That's it… cum all over daddy's cock…” As you hear her low and raspy voice your tummy feels a bit funny. You could cum just from her talking to you like this.

As you come down from your high, Ellie starts going slower as she kisses you, trying to calm you down. She petted your hair as she called you her good girl over and over in your ear quietly. She stopped and took it out slowly, still looking at you trying to catch your breath. She gave you one more kiss and then got up, when you calmed down. She stood in front of you with her strap still on, covered in your cum. By the way she looked at you, you already knew what she wanted next, but you waited for her to say it. “Get on your knees and suck my cock clean like a good girl.” You can't resist her and her voice when she talks to you like that. You sit up and then get out of the bed. You kneel down in front of her. She looks at you the whole time with a smirk on her face. She lines it up with your mouth holding the base. “Open up…” You look up at her as you open your mouth and start sucking her cock. She swears she can feel your mouth on her. She places her other hand on your head and gently guides you as you suck all your cum off of her.

As you finish you look up at her smiling out of breath. She pets your head as she smiles down at you feeling proud of you. She then gets down to your level and kisses you passionately. “That's my good girl.” She praises you by stroking your face. You forgot how much you loved this, how much you missed her treating you like this. She loved every second but she wasn't done with you just yet. Ellie holds you by your neck softly at first, You love when she's rough with you and she loves to go rough on you, knowing you can take it. She looks you in the eye as she starts to squeeze your neck slowly. As she does, she bites her lower lip as she tilts her head back slightly, looking down on you, asserting her dominance. “I’m not done with you…” She whispers in your ear. You feel every hair in your body go up. You feel the adrenaline coursing through your veins as she continues. “I’m going to fuck you until you dont know your name anymore. Until I'm satisfied. You are my fuck toy, got it?” She said this in a very demanding and serious voice. She then looked at you with a very serious expression. You gulp and nod, looking up at her. “Good, now… Get on all fours.” She says as she helps you get on top of the bed. You do as she demanded, remembering her punishments from before. You were in deep now, and Ellie was going to have her way with you.

She watches you as you get into position. She loves when you do as she says. She gets right behind you and gives your ass a light smack. She puts on some more lube on her strap before she fucks you.she hold the base as the other hand holds your hip. “Are you going to behave? You still remember what happens when you are a brat right?” She asks as she alines herself with you and slowly pushes it in. “Yes daddy… “ You whimper as you feel her filling you up again. “That's my good girl.” She starts thrusting into you harder and harder each time. You can't help yourself from letting out some curses and moans. As she hears you she starts going faster. Her boxers are soaked by this point. Her cunt is throbbing as she fucks you. Each push bumps into her clit making her feel her own orgasm building up. You are starting to lose strength on your arms, and with each thrust you just get weaker making your arms give out on you as you land on the mattress on your face. Ellie chuckles at the sight.

“Already tired baby girl? That's too bad, I'm not done with you yet.” She says as she starts thrusting into you harder and harder, making you moan louder. She smacks your ass leaving a red mark. “Shut up slut!” She contninues fucking you relentlenslly as you try to stay silent. You whimper each time she enters you, the knot in your stomach coming undone once more. Ellie grunts as she feels the strap bumping into her clit, making her come closer and closer to her orgasm. You cover your mouth when you feel your own orgasm coming so as not to make her angry with the noise. She notices and starts going even harder on you. “Did I tell you you could cum? Hum?” She asks as she slaps your ass once more. “No daddy…” You respond biting the back of your hand, still trying to stay quiet. “Then what do you think you're doing you brat? You cum only when I let you!” She strikes your ass again. “You are going to be punished, but for now im going to fuck your tigh hole until I cum, so shut up, understood?” She continues to go harder on you, making you whimper as you try to hold your orgasm but being unable to. Not long after, Ellie feels her own orgasm wash over her too. You hear her moans and hisses as she does. “Fuck… “ Her legs start trembling. “Fuck, fuck, fuck…”

You can feel her starting to slow down as she grips the fat of your hips so hard it hurts. She keeps grunting and moaning for a few more seconds before she finally stops fucking you and gets her strap off of you. She gives you a final smack as she stands straight. She takes off her strap and sets it aside to be washed later. When you feel her hand, you collapse on the bed. She looks at you, her eyes sparkling at the mess she made of you. She feels like she's in heaven, having you like this again for her, before her. To use you, to fuck you. She missed you so much. She would often masturbate to the thought of you, calling out your name as she looked at some nudes you had sent her, that she saved only for her own viewing. But she doesn't need to do that anymore, she has you again. All for herself.

You look at her panting, as she takes the strap off. You smile at her slightly, noticing how wet she was. She catches you staring, almost like you were drunk. All red on the face and your eyes half closed from just cumming. “What are you smiling for? I'll make that grin disappear, come here.” She says as she walks towards you. “Get on your knees.” She commands you as you still lay in bed. “Now!” She demands again and you slowly get off the bed and kneel in front of her, still half smiling, almost like you're dazed. She grabs your face and squishes your cheeks. “You think this is funny? You know your punishment right?” You gulp as you remember what she would have you do when you misbehaved. You look up at her with a worried look. “You do know.” She grins as she sees your facial expression change. “But before that, You have something else to do.” She lets go of your face as she gets up. You look up at her, Your eye level now at her hips. “Take them off brat.” She demands and you follow. You take her boxers off slowly looking up at her from time to time. You could see how wet she was. The strings of slick clinging to the fabric as you took them off. “You know what to do now, so be a good girl and clean daddy up.” You nod as you focus on her glistening cunt. You grab her thighs and take a good long lick up her slit, and you can hear her moan, which makes you smile as you continue. Your tongue moves through her folds, up to her clit, earning you some more sweet moans. You start eating her out. She places her hands on the top of your head and grabs some of your hair as your tongue works on her sensitive clit, her moans louder by the second. You want to make her cum, she would very rarely let you do what you were doing just now. She must have been really touch starved the time you were apart. You continue and move your right hand without her noticing as her eyes were closed. She continued moaning and biting her lip as you brought your hand up to her pussy. You massage her clit with your thumb and she looks down at you. “What do you think you're doing?” She asks with an annoyed expression as she pulls you by the hair to see the smirk on your face. You then move your index and middle finger up and down her folds. and go back to licking her clit. She hisses as she feels your tongue and throws her head back.

You start getting your fingers wet and ready, which wasn't difficult since she was a sopping mess. You easily pushed one finger inside her with how wet she was. You heard her moans getting more high pitched and started moving it inside her. She let you take control for a few minutes. She never gave you control. She really missed you and can't resist your touch now. You insert a second finger and she hisses. You start moving them inside her making her become even more vocal. “Fuck… Just like that… don't stop please…” This was music to your ears. You kept going, moving your fingers faster and curling them to hit her special spot. You knew you found it when she grabbed your hair harder so you continued your movements. Your tongue still taking care of her poor throbbing clit. “Fuck… that’s it… Keep going baby…” Her moans got louder signaling her orgasm was close. You continued until her legs were trembling and she pushed your head away lightly. She was panting as she looked down at you as a smile appeared on her flushed face. You sucked her juices off your fingers looking up at her. You then got up and kissed her gently as you wrapped your arms around her.

When you two broke the kiss, she held you for a few seconds before you both layed in bed together cuddling for a bit. A smirk started growing on her face. as she whispered in your ear. “Don't think I forgot about your punishment, little girl.” You look at her face, as yours lost its smile and filled with worry and anticipation. She then grabbed you and laid you over her lap, ass up. “You were a bad girl, and bad girls get spankings…” You gasped when she grabbed you so fast to her lap. As she admired your ass, she could see how worked up you got. “Look at this, did making daddy cum, make my baby girl this wet?... Naughty girl.” You blushed in embarrassment. “Look at how cute you look all flustered like this.” Her smirk grew wider as her fingers traveled to your wet folds. As she moved them you started moaning. “Does my baby want something? You'll have to ask very nicely for daddy to consider it…” She says as she looks at your flushed face, whilst still moving her fingers in your wetness. You took a deep breath as you looked at her. “Please make me cum daddy…” Her pupils blew as she heard your words. “Please use your fingers on me…” You begged once more. She continued to get her fingers wet and ready to penetrate you. She occasionally would stimulate your clit for a few seconds.

“How can I say no when my pretty girl begs me so nicely…” She says as she stuffs two fingers inside you without warning, making you gasp. She chuckles at your reaction and starts pumping her fingers in and out of you with ease. “You practically swallowed my fingers, you really wanted me to fuck you again didn't you?” She chuckles once more at your pathetic state. She inserted a third finger as she watched your hole get stretched by her. Her mouth started watering at the sight. You hissed as you felt her stretch your walls, but you couldn't deny that it felt amazing. “Fuck… look at that…” She then started pumping them in and out inside you again. “I love this daddy…” She smirks and says, “I know you do.” And it only feels like your entire body has felt something almost ethereal. She keeps going at a fast pace, and you feel the sensations growing within you. You feel yourself getting pushed to the absolute extremes, and it’s an overwhelming yet welcoming feeling. She is relentless, she’s finger fucking you so hard that you hear yourself mumbling out some curses without realizing it as the feelings keep intensifying. She was enjoying the feeling of watching you be pushed to your limit, she was enjoying your reactions so much.

She continues the momentum going, moving even quicker and faster than before. You felt even more of the intense feelings moving throughout your entire body, and it felt so much more intense than everything else that she had already done up until this point. She was starting to almost over-stimulate you. You were loving it. Your legs start to tremble as you start moaning louder, you feel that familiar knot in your belly again. She seems to be able to read your body and that you’re reaching a peak. It’s exactly what she is hoping for. For you to cum all over her fingers. You have no idea of just how much further she’s going to take you after this, but she is keeping that as a surprise. You feel your orgasm overcome you completely, not only the feeling but the whole moment as she keeps going. She is pushing your body to the limits and now, you really can’t do anything but succumb to the feeling being given to you. She can't just stop, she loves hearing like this too much. She is going to take you over the edge. Your body is feeling so much that your energy is being sucked right out of you. “Yes baby, that's it… cum for me… cum for daddy…” Her eyes sparkle as she hears the sounds you make. She'll never get tired of the sight of her fingers disappearing inside you.

You succumb to your exhaustion as she stops finally, letting you have a break and letting you breathe and relax from just how intense your orgasm was. She continues going just a little bit to keep your body under her control, but for now, she is allowing you to come down from what you just experienced. “Thank you daddy….” You say, not having the energy to move much. Your words sounded more like a breath than a complete sentence, and she smiles wide again at what you said. She was so happy to have pushed you to your limit, and now, she was letting you rest for a bit. She just keeps lightly touching you, to keep you under her influence still.

She took her fingers out of you looking at your stretched hole, proud of the state she's left you in. She then started rubbing your bare ass in circles. “Now, your punishment for earlier… How many do you think you deserve, hum?” She asked you as her other hand pulled your hair slightly. “I think 15 would teach you a lesson, don't you think?” She spoke in a serious tone now. She wasn't playing around anymore. She saw your worried face and let out a chuckle. “Pathetic.” She said as she spanked you for the first time, you winced at the pain. “Cry all you want, your spanking is gonna happen anyway.” She spanked you a second time and you let out a louder wince. She continued spanking your ass as she counted each one. Every one harder than the last. By the time there were only 5 left, you were crying, and oh how she loved the sight of you. “Only 5 more, baby girl.” She continued counting, your ass was full on red at this point and started to sting a lot. “14…” You screamed at the pain. “Only one more and your punishment is over, ready?” She lifted her hand high and prepared to hit you the hardest of all the spankings. “15!” She spanked you so hard that you screamed. “There, we’re done baby girl.”

She soothed your sore ass by stroking it gently for a few seconds. She then held you in her arms as she kissed your tears away. “It’s okay pretty girl, it's over now. Daddy is proud of you for taking your punishment so well. Let's not have to do that again, yes?” You looked up at her and nodded as your tears continued flowing. “Yes daddy…” She smiled when she heard your voice. “Good girl.” She held you as she comforted you. “Shhh… It's over now…” She rocked you a bit as you were almost in a fetal position. You stayed cuddling for some time and she covered you both with the sheets. She kissed your forehead, you were really tired, almost falling asleep. “I love you so much. You can't even imagine how much I missed you, my baby girl.” She said quietly as she hugged you tighter, pressing your body on hers. You looked up at her and gave her a gentle kiss.

She lays back beside you holding you close after that experience. The way you leant into her touch just made her feel even more comfortable to get to be this close with you again, and she didn’t seem to have any intention of leaving soon either. She keeps holding you close to her and doesn’t seem to want to let go even with this exhaustion hitting you. All you can really do now is just lay in her arms as she holds you. You let out a quiet noise of contentment, feeling your body finally getting a chance to relax after going through all of that. She continues to stroke your hair and your body, and you still continue to just lay there in her embrace. Her light touches are so comforting. It’s like the fatigue doesn’t even matter to her, she just wants you to keep feeling good and under her control. “Thank you daddy…” You mumble out from her gentle touches. Her touch is very delicate, with each stroke being so light. There wasn’t any rush for you to say more things, since the experience was so overwhelming. You actually enjoyed the spanking a bit, but you didn’t quite know why it felt so good. You just continued to lay right where you were, with her gently touching and stroking you.

You look up with a small smile, and she returns the look. You can tell that she is enjoying this time with you, because she can truly see how much of an impact she is able to make. You never thought that you would be this far gone, but she was enjoying seeing you like this, that she had pushed you so far, and you loved every second. You nuzzle into her embrace for a bit. She wraps her arms around you and pulls you closer to her as you nuzzle into her embrace. She continues her gentle stroking on your body with her fingers, and the warm feeling of satisfaction covers her completely. She liked the feeling of you being in her care, and she liked what she was able to make you feel. You ended up falling asleep in her arms, succumbing to your exhaustion. Ellie continued to hold you and look at you while you fell asleep. You looked so serene, she would never get tired of your beautiful face. She kissed your forehead one more time and continued to stroke you gently. “I love you so much, I never want to be without you again.” She whispered as not to wake you up. She continued to look at you lovingly until she herself eventually fell asleep too.

You and Ellie were a couple again. You were so happy to have her back in your life. She made all the effort she needed to gain your trust back again. She treated you like a princess. With all the love you deserve. As time passed you started to trust her again, and forgave her past behavior. You loved her and she loved you. That was all that mattered and as long as you had each other, Everything would be okay. She was so grateful for your forgiveness. She stopped smoking and drinking and became the Ellie you fell in love with. Her grades went up and you were so proud of her progress. She would never leave your side again, you are the most important thing in the world for her. She will do anything to never be without you again.

Author's notes: Hi! i had a blast writing this one! I hope you liked it, I really liked writing it! Feedback is always welcome and likes and reblogs are always encouraged! Thank you!

#ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie williams x you #ellie williams the last of us #ellie the last of us #ellie smut #ellie williams smut #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x female reader #Spotify

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2jcore · 10 months ago

Text

hwanghon brew director's cut

hello everyone first of all, please bear with me this is the first time i've tried using tumblr and i honestly don't know my way around it yet. With that being said, please allow me to give you the director's cut of Hwanghon Brew i promised 2 years ago lmao TT

So, for starters, hwanghon brew was commissioned by my good friend ate cams (who was absolutely patient with me. love u ate cams mwa)

These were the things requested:

heejayke poly

established heejay

modern vampires

college/frat au

5+1

heejayke feeding on each other

THE PLAYLIST

I was given the freedom to do whatever, come up with whatever plot that ties these things together, so I did! The first thing that came to mind of course, was the vibe I wanted to go for. So i immediately looked up a modern vampire playlist to set the mood, and stumbled upon this playlist. which is honestly so fitting because 1) the cover is a screenshot from the given-taken japanese mv, and 2) the person who made it seems to be an engene seeing that the first song in the playlist is drunk-dazed.

Anyway, Supermassive Black Hole by Muse became the first song that I associated to Hwangwon. It was like, idk the theme song while i was writing it? In fact, the whole black market scene during the intro was written to supermassive black hole. I didn't really make a moodboard for HB and instead created a playlist and relied on getting the vibe from that instead.

if i were to describe the songs that i picked out for hwanghon, it would be dark and somewhat eerie. most of them were rock/alt, (Test Me - Xdinary Heroes, One in a Billion - Enhypen, Tonight is the Night I Die - Palaye Royal)

some were also alternative/indie like Teeth - 5SOS, cult leader - king mala, and Blood // Water - grandson.

I played this playlist 24/7 while writing the fic NO JOKE LIKE ESPECIALLY IN THE SHOWER even though some of the songs creeped me out T^T bc honest to god some of them lowkey sounded demonic but it is what it is. So, I listened to these vampy songs while trying to come up with the main theme of the fic.

If you watched the video teasers I posted on my twitter, you'd know that I strongly associated Xdinary Heroes songs to HB, especially during the scenes where they're playing tag and running around the city, especially Test Me.

Hold Me Tight, and Tunnel by KimYeji were for the more somber parts like Jake's inner monologues about fitting in, heejay talking about the coven and jake, and especially the scene were Jay runs to Jake in the bathroom and relives Heeseung's near death.

And while I do associate their running scenes with xdinary heroes, BONBON GiRL by SARM is an honorable mention. To me this is a bouncier song for the times they're leaping from one rooftop to another, just having fun while Seoul's citylights shine below them. When I play this song, Hwanghon Brew suddenly turns into this cyberpunk vampire anime in my mind.

Some special mentions that I really enjoyed listening to and helped me brainstorm for scenes are: Real Boy - Lola Blanc, Verbatim - Mother Mother, and Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High - Artic Monkeys.

OUTLINING

As some of my readers might know, my first step when writing a fic is to make an outline. My first thought was to think about the characters. With heejay being established, it only made sense for me to make them members of the frat/coven. With that thought in mind, I wondered how to write Jake into their lives. And thought, hmm, what if he moved to Seoul for college and stumbles upon one of the coven members? Let's make him a newly turned vampire from the country side.

(jake bagong salta to coven = jake new to the coven)

So i was trying to come up with the main theme of the fic and initially came up with this:

I was just thinking that jake was just, idk, desperately trying to fit in even though he was already part of the coven, and heejay could teach him how to be a vampire and their feelings could develop through that. Of course, this idea changed as the outline became more fleshed out.

After establishing the basics of the character backgrounds, my next step was to outline the plot itself. I divided the plot into the 5+1 structure, and brainstormed for a main event/scene per number.

this is the unedited original outline LMAOO which obviously was changed as I went along with writing it. I wasn't given an exact word count and was just told to write whatever I wanted (thank you sm ate cams 🥺) and honestly i went into this thinking that i'd be done by 10k HAHAHAHA BOY WAS I WRONG. then again, i shouldn't really be surprised because i have the habit of going over my target word count. In fact my bestie Erina (who helped me brainrot a lot during the writing process (luv u bubbie hwanghon brew will forever be your inaanak) was like. bubbie. how could you even think you'd be done by 10k LMAOO)

anyways, let's unpack this original outline. the [ 5 - hoon supposed to take him to hwanghon but can't ] made it to the fic since Sunghoon really asked Jay to take Jake to hwanghon. [ 4 - heeseung arc, bonding over ramyeon ] was only partially kept. Instead of the 4th part being about jake feeling hesitant, it becomes heejake growing closer through their convo while having ramyeon, and jake trying to get closer to jay by using the honey cookies. So i guess you can say that food holds importance in this part.

the third part where jake underestimates his appetite and heejay come to the rescue is kept, but added to it are heejake and heejay scenes, the latter giving more insight to the jayke aspect of things

The 2nd one. So my thought process here is: the initiation is successful. However, throughout and after this, heejay become more and more possessive over jake without them actually noticing and without them realizing why. So, the members intervene by acting all flirty with jake until heejay finally acknowledge their feelings, and this leads to the jealousy jealousy part in number 1. and somehow the tension just builds up until they all just erupt and make out, which would lead to them feeding on each other.

as you can see, khan's appearance in the fic was not part of the original outline. and that definitely changes a lot of things.

for the first few parts of the fic, i outlined the turn of events and crossed them out once i finished writing that sequence. my original outline somehow ends here? IDK how i outlined the rest of the fic LMAO IT WAS A FEVER DREAM. ANYWAY.

THE BLACKMARKET

i wanted to start the fic with a banger. literally. so, what better way to do it than to bombard countryboy Jake with the grim reality of the city, right?

After listening to Supermassive Black Hole, this black market scene immediately played in my mind and set the tone for the rest of the fic. It came to me quickly--the image of Jake stumbling upon a black market swaying, dizzy as hell, his vision splitting and all these neon signs swirling around him. for me, the song cemented the over all night life/cyberpunk vibe that I was going for.

At first, I was thinking that it's Jay who finds Jake in that market. Like the thought of spotting Jay amidst the blur of people was so appealing to me (especially as your resident jayker). But I figured that it would be better for Sunghoon to find him first, because not only does this create a foundation for jakehoon's friendship, but also sets the stage for a better meeting between jake and heejay.

Right off the bat I wanted this scene to be as descriptive as possible, so that I could immediately give the readers a good feel of the universe and the dark tone of the fic. Hence why I enumerated every single thing from a man trying to sell Jake drugs,

“Hyungnim,” A man suddenly slings his arm around his shoulders. “You looking for a good time?” “N-no,” He answers meekly, pushing away the man who had a couple of tattoos dotting the left side of his face, his leather jacket reeking of alcohol and some kind of earthy, herby scent.

(that's why he smelled earthy - y'know...marijuana) to prostitutes trying to beckon him over

“Hey, are you lost?” Two girls call out to him in coy voices, breaking out into giggles and taking drags of the cigarettes pinned between their long manicured nails.

Anyway, while i was writing this, i was constantly seeking opinions from my close friends (love u erina i could not have written most of this without you) and recieved good feedback about the intro, so i think it was pretty effective.

SUNGHOON

(this is the hoon in my head!! ugh so hot fr fr imagine him just walking along seoul at night jumping from one roof to another)

like I said, since i made Sunghoon the character who finds Jake, I wanted him to make a strong impression, which is why he is how he is--practically dragging Jake to the cafe, ordering for him, talking on and on even though Jake wasn't responding LMAO like Sunghoon didn't really care TT

I also wanted him to have #humor which is why he's so damn sarcastic all the time "don't worry i don't bite" SAYS THIS WITH HIS CHEST WHILE BEING A WHOLE VAMPIRE LIKE FUCK OFFF "no humans were harmed in the process" he's so??!?! anyway, it was super fun writing him, he's easily one of my favorite sunghoons in all the fics i've written.

though it looks like him being a lovesick fool is a common thing among my fics and i don't regret this one bit. It's so funny writing Sunghoon pining over Sunoo when the latter doesn't even give him his time of the day (not true, actually he's just equally enamored)

While it is true that Sunghoon is one of the comedic reliefs in this fic, Sunghoon is also the token best friend that everyone needs. He has his own way of looking after Jake that is just so endearing to me. In fact one of my personal favorite scenes would be the jakehoon skirmish during the initiation where they're just tumbling down from one roof to another. They way Sunghoon was so proud when Jake managed to get his necklace 🥺 and the way he was like "Go. The other three won't be as easy as I was."

In his own silly little ways, he makes sure that Jake isn't left behind and watches over him. (Sunghoon wouldn't have brought Jake to the cafe and bought him a blood smoothie to begin with if he wasn't so kind) Speaking of blood smoothie, that brings us to the next part

RASPBERRY ORANGES

also known as blood oranges, where Enhypen coined their album name "Orange Blood" from. If you check the dates, Hwanghon Brew was posted before this release so belift, i was first 🙄 (lighthearted) anyway, blood oranges are literally just oranges but the insides are red.

I was searching for a fruit that would pass off as the same color as blood because I wanted Sunghoon to order something cryptic. In the sense that it's not really on the menu since only vampires would know about it because it's a code for blood, but if per se, a human manages to overhear it and ask about it, they could just serve a real fruit smoothie and it wouldn't look any different.

I thought maybe dragonfruit? but it's too purple. raspberry is too pink. strawberry would be too pale. I stumbled upon the raspberry orange, saw the pulp looking like blood and i thought, yeah this is it. This looks vampire-y enough.

I included this fruit solely because of that and didn't really think of anything else lol. Later on, I found out through my moot Kaia that blood oranges hold meanings that really align with the concept of Hwanghon Brew

THE BASEMENT

I don't know if i should feel flattered, scared, or annoyed that there seem to be so many parallels between hwanghon brew and official enhypen content. because first of all, i posted HB in october of 2022, and it had the line "bite me" (i'm not gatekeeping that phrase but the parallels are just fascinating) and then they come out with Dark Blood and Bite Me as the title track in 2023. Also, like i said, blood oranges, Orange Blood, etc etc. And the basement/frathouse IS EXACTLY WHAT THE SET IN SWEET VENOM LOOKS LIKE

like. the strobe lights, the party, the dingy mattresses??? thanks to belift for bringing my fic to life i guess??!?W@#$ anyway, since they were a coven disguised as a frat, i figured it was only right for them to have a frathouse. i didn't do much research on frats because i didn't focus on it much in the fic, but i guessed that frathouses were mostly...well, messy. Plus, they're supposed to be broke college kids, so i thought it'd be fitting for them to rent out a cheap basement in one of the shady alleys in Seoul.

THE COVEN

While it is true that they're also kind of a frat, like Sunghoon says,

“It’s a coven and a frat. I mean, we’re fronting as a frat. But, it’s not exactly a disguise because we really are a frat? You get what I mean.” Sunghoon waves his messy explanation off.

they are a coven first and foremost, which to me crosses out the thought that they only have men (since y'know. frat). in my mind the coven also has female members. since txt are part of it, i immediately thought of itzy, pictured yeji and ryujin on the couch making out and i was like yeah, i like that.

aside from the basement looking like sweet venom, at the time I was writing it, SV wasn't out yet. So the party was actually mostly based on the drunk-dazed party

Anyway, it's mentioned in passing that the pioneer of this coven is Jay, and he served as its leader for a good few centuries before handing the torch to Jungwon. Since then, he took the backseat with the leadership, but still helped in calling the shots. Jungwon doesn't make big decisions without consulting him (and Heeseung consequently)

MEETING HEEJAY

Like I said, I wanted to set the stage for heejay--present them in a way that both Jake and the readers know that they aren't like any other. I wanted them to be revered. While everyone was wilding it out partying, they were in the backroom watching it all unfold. idk there's just something about them just sitting there and watching over their people. literally like kings over their constituents. (constituents??!!)

Tall nose, sharp lips, tanned skin peeking out from the rips in his jeans

Tall nose, small lips, sharp jaw trailing down to a chin that juts out when he frowns. A leather choker around his neck, his knitted top torn.

These were the pictures in mind when I wrote the descriptions of heejay's first appearance

JAY

i can't recall if someone left a comment about this or a friend told me, but i remember someone saying that it made so much sense that Jay was the eldest vampire. they said that usually, people would think of going according to enha's real age, so it was refreshing to see Jay as the eldest.

to me it just felt right to make Jay the eldest and only pureblood in the coven. I think i based this off of the fact that Jay in real life was obviously brought up in a high class (?) family and environment. He knows a lot of things, is well off, and yet he seems street smart and wise.

with this, i came up with his background--his family being around for ages, somewhat pioneers of the current seoul vampire society, and owners of the disguised vampire establishments. speaking of family, it's implied that Yoongi is Jay's relative.

aside from this, I was thinking, Jay is mostly a loving sweetheart in the fics i've written, so why not make him a loving but emotionally constipated tsundere in this one?

anyway, given the fact that jay is the eldest, only pureblood, and founding father of their coven, i think his disposition was to be expected. he's literally like a grumpy overprotective father. to him his coven is his family, which is why he's skeptical to let strangers get close to the people he loves. especially after the first khan incident. He let khan into the coven, treated him as his own kin, and khan betrayed him by abandoning all the principles and beliefs he stands by, and put their coven in a bad light because of this. I can't really blame him for being on guard and cut throat with accepting new members after this.

HEESEUNG

heejay being 7yearz going on 8yearz in real life is truly the basis of heejay in this fic, and consequently, Heeseung's characterization. much like in real life, i wanted them to have spent a lot of time together, which is why i wrote Heeseung as coming from 1235, which was the Goryeo era. Originally, I wrote Heeseung as coming from the late 13th century, but wanted to align his story with a real historic event. That's why I moved his year to 1235 where there were Mongol invasions, which led to him being injured, and then led to him being turned.

I think it's evident especially with the whole "While Jay is the storm, Heeseung is the calm before that" part, that I wanted to strike a balance with the characterization of heejay. To me it also felt so...idk, couple? so parents of them to be opposites in this way. It was like Tamaki going all out and then there's Kyouya, his silent and supportive right hand man. (from Ouran High School Host Club)

Which is why I leaned into Heeseung's laid back traits in real life and channeled his relaxed and easy going disposition. I just figured it would have been too difficult for Jake if both Jay and Hee were skeptical of him, so i thought let's make Heeseung someone who is a good judge of character, someone who immediately sees the good in Jake and becomes smitten.

I believe Heeseung acted as a bridge more than anything because jayke's bond was honestly the last to form, so he's a mediator in more ways than one.

With regards to the coven, it is mentioned that Heeseung is the second eldest, which means that next to Jay, he's the most respected because #age and #heirarchy and all. Also, no one would dare question Hee because he is after all, Jay's life long partner and lover.

In my mind, Heeseung is very wife in this fic, in the sense that most of the time he is Jay's voice of reason, lending his silent support especially during the times it is most needed. While the coven was founded by Jay, it would be crippled without Heeseung.

JAYHOON CONVO (OUTTAKE)

On the day that Sunghoon told Jake to come to the coven, Heeseung was the only one in the basement. Jay went grocery shopping and Sunghoon bumped into him on the way there. they both make an entrance while bickering

the door swings open and in comes Sunghoon and Jay, at each other’s neck. Figuratively. “You should have told me beforehand!” “Well, I’m telling you now,”

Actually, they were fighting over Jake. The whole conversation goes like this:

"I told him he could join." "Who are you to decide that?" "Oh c'mon, aren't we like allowed to make referrals? like in companies? I'm pretty sure I should be getting a commission for recruiting him." "??? we are not a multi level company. Go bring your pyramid schemes somewhere else. Not to my coven" "But I already told Jake to come over," "You should have told me beforehand!" "Well, I'm telling you now"

their convo sounds pretty funny and sooo jayhoon in my head that i just had to share this even though it didn't make the cut in the fic

HWANGHON BREW

the heart of this fic (only actually partly, but the fact that this fic is named after the cafe make a big difference, no?) I'm not sure where this idea came from, I just figured it would be nice for them to have their own establishment. Like. #made by vampires for vampires. something like that, and thought hm, why not a cafe? so i went on to a name generator and it showed me a bunch of corny names for cafes T^T. I saw the word brew and it kinda stuck. So the next thing i did was to search for the korean words of vampire related things--moon, blood, twilight. And that's how i found the word hwanghon.

I put hwanghon and brew together, decided that i liked the sound of it, and put it as the working title while i was writing. i honestly didn't think that it would be the final title. I was just thinking of replacing it when i thought of something better, but fortunately i was unable to come up with anything that topped it DFAHAHAHA i am also so relieved I kept the title because i think it's so distinct? It has a very nice ring to it and makes it easy for me to search people talking about it on twitter HAHSDHF

here's the logo/symbol of hwanghon brew, and it's exactly as it is described in the fic

a crescent moon with the tips downturned, red rays dripping down from the middle.

the red rays are an allegory to blood, hence why I used the word "dripping" to describe it. also, to me, the downturned crescent moon is a hollistic symbol of vampirisms. it is both a moon, and a pair of fangs. This symbol also plays a big part in the initiation because the necklace's pendant is in the same shape.

anyway, onto the system of hwanghon brew itself. Like Jay explained, the process of blood goes like this: human donations > health organizations > human government > high council > blood banks > vampire establishments (like HB) honestly, i didn't really consume much vampire media. i have never watched twilight or vampire diaries. the only knowledge i have of the collective concept of vampires would be from interview with a vampire, supernatural, a few clips from vampire knight, and a few panels from blood bank.

though i think the fact that i didn't really consume vampire media turned out to be a good thing in the long run, because I eventually had my very own take on the vampire universe and the world building. Though, it's not uncommon to have blood banks and whatnot, i just find it fascinating to have the vampire high council working hand in hand with the human government.

JAKE

oh my sweet Jake. he's just a baby girl, that's all. His characterization here isn't really far off from how i see him in real life? happy go lucky, very determined, absolutely resilient.

besides, i think that these are qualities of a person who can go through so much and come out of it stronger. these are the traits that would enable him to put his foot forward, join the coven, butter up to heejay, and go against a monster like khan.

however, while he is all those things---strong and brave, he is also very hesitant at the same time? He's the type to rethink his actions and mull over his decisions over and over again and question himself if he made the right choice.

he's also very conscious of the people around him, and he has his own insecurities, which to makes him feel more human than any of them, which also makes sense given that he's the youngest vampire.

EYE COLORS

I mention this throughout the fic--their eyes flashing inhuman colors whenever they're either hungry, protective, angry, etc etc. For Jake, it's blue. For Jay, it's red. This small detail isn't really important aside from the fact that only purebloods have red eyes, but I just got this idea from the japanese MV of given-taken. (actually, i rewatched that mv so many times while writing this fic)

GIFTS

it's mentioned in the fic that vampires develop gifts down the road. Jay's is super strength, Heeseung - telepathy, Jungwon - speed, Sunghoon - shapeshifter(?), Sunoo - gravity defiance, Riki - shadow manipulation/teleportation

Honestly, i just got this from the dark moon webtoon because i wanted to add a little flare to it lmao. Given, Jake's power would be fire. Initially, I thought of including his power in the fic. If I did, it would play out like this: jake getting beat up by khan > heejay comes to the rescue > khan puts up a fight, drives them into a corner > jake, livid that khan had hurt heejay, awakens his power and uses fire for the first time to protect them (wow, zuko who?)

but I decided to scrap that idea because I wanted Jay to be indomitable, and also kinda wanted Jake to play into that whole damsel in distress thing

anyway speaking of powers, if anyone's wondering why heeseung didn't just tap into jake's mind to find him, it's because heeseung's telepathy in this universe only works on covenmates. and since jake technically wasn't a member yet, he couldn't reach him.

THE INITIATION

actually, if i remember correctly, this idea came from one of my twt besties and gfs, nina. it makes sense of course, because they're a frat. and frats have initiations and it's just terrorizing new recruits, like Sunghoon said. They reason that it's to assess the new member (especially after someone like khan), they wanted to be more sure of new recruits--whether they'd play dirty just to be part of the coven.

Sunghoon also mentions that it's Riki who suggested to have initiations and that it usually consists of playing games (tag, hide and clap) but with a vampire twist. Not only does this allow the existing members of the coven to assess the new recruits physical abilities (speed, senses, etc.) but it also allows them to asses their decision making.

SUNOO, JUNGWON, AND RIKI

admittedly, I didn't put much details about these three compared to the hyung line for various reasons.

for one, I wanted Sunoo to be a mystery, and figured that would only be effective if I only gave out little information about him, leaving gaps and spaces for the readers to imagine. Which is why I mentioned that aside from Jay, no one really knows about his age or where he came from. (but his backstory is complete in my mind lmao.) also, I wanted Sunoo to be different from the other vampires, which is why he sometimes talks in shakespearean HAJSHA. AND I wanted his character to be different from all the other sunoos I've written. I just really love playing into the opposite of how majority of the fandom perceives him as well.

Jungwon, while being the coven's leader, only makes appearances once in a while. Despite his little screentime (sorry won I'll make it up to you), I wanted to make sure that he came across as reliable, especially since he is the coven's acting leader. Which is why he shows up to remind Jake to feed. To me, while he participates in initiations, he makes up his mind about the new recruits prior to that and acts based on this. He went easy on Jake because he actually liked him and wanted him to be a part of the coven, which is why he played along but gave back Jake's moon necklace in the end.

And Riki. He may seem like a playful vampire who's just there for the vibes, but he is also very perceptive. Like Sunoo, he plays a bigger part than what is implied, but I don't want to give out too much information bc I want to write a prequel HSDFHAHSD but yeah, Riki knows the streets and knows his shit.

well, that's that. Thank you for coming to my ted talk! I really enjoyed writing about my thought process while writing, and where I pulled inspiration from. I still think that I really outdid myself with writing this one and I think the comments I got just prove it. I love Hwanghon Brew with my whole heart and I am beyond happy that I get to share this with people who enjoyed reading it just as much as I had fun writing.

whatever i didn't cover here (like most of their character backgrounds, and khan) I will be including in the prequel. Anyway, speaking of the prequel, I've been told that some readers are curious about the timelines and the backstories of the members. I think if you pay enough attention to detail, you'd be able to gather a few hints about the timelines and their ages.

I do hope that if I ever do push through with it, you would be tuned in as well >< I have actually finished the outline, all that's left is actually writing it. I don't know when because I am unfortunately a busy college senior (writing her thesis and having her internship). But I do hope I get to do it soon because some of you really seem enthusiastic about it and it really warms my heart. Anyway, please consider this a love letter to the readers who enjoyed Hwanghon so much and showered it with so much love.

love u all ❣

#hwanghon brew

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