#frank iero x oc | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nosferatyou · 4 years ago

Text

If I Can Be So Bold: Chapter 4 (Jack White x OC)

Summary: A time line of Lee’s life after a certain event. Chock full of hardships, odd music choices, and the FBI watchlist. Overall an incredibly important chapter.

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Alcohol abuse, cursing, frank iero

NOTES: Fuck. Its been a while hasnt it? schools a bitch. anyways i thought this was the best way to move the story along. Besides the early days werent really important. well it was, but it was th lead up. Still I think this is pretty damn good. Took me for fuckin ever. I hope you enjoy!

I think I could’ve saved myself from more heartbreak if I just stopped fucking the man that was slowly breaking me, sparing me from the years of emptiness I just floated through. We could’ve only been friends and ended it at that, but I fell in love with him.

It took me a year to realize id made the biggest mistake of my life. He was my mistake. I saw all this like I did relish every moment we had together, like every time he kissed me, I felt my chest grow warm. I never had a bad moment with him. When we fucked it was just me and him, which is so incredibly cheesy, but when you’re that intoxicated by the touch of another, its all you can think about. Nothing else existed. Bad breakups, a growing rift in old friends, the unpaid bills sitting on your counter. The truth. It genuinely was witchcraft on his end. I think the songs he wrote when we were together were actually just love spells.

This went on for a year. I waited for him and meg when they went to the meeting that landed them their first studio album. Hell, I even taught him slide and played on their track “Suzy Lee.” Looking back at that moment always makes me laugh, the irony of it all, how I shielded myself from any truths. I think I realized I loved him when I opened my apartment door to see him with freshly cut hair. The sides shaved, the red just as wild as always but dyed a firetruck red. To this day, its the worst haircut I’ve ever seen someone get, and that day I died with laughter. He was always so confident in his looks, but that day he was in a panic. I had to console him and try to convince him it wasn’t that bad.

“Rosie, it looks like someone glued fake fur to the top of my head.”

The both of us sat cross-legged across from each other on the bed, trying to assess the damage. He couldn’t stop fidgeting. Fixing any loose hairs, which was the entirety of his hair. I scooted forward and played with it, trying to find any feasible angles.

“Jacky, it’s not that bad, it looks quite handsome from this angle.” I pretended to style it. There was no fixing it, but I could boost his ego to last until it grew back.

He grabbed the hand mirror sitting next to him and tried every angle. Worry had found its way into

every part of his face.

“Mmm well, I guess it’s not as bad as I thought,” He couldn’t stop touching it. “Thanks, Rosie.” He smiled at me the same way he always did, lips pulled tight, making his face scrunch up with those warm eyes.

I still looked at him and saw the most handsome man, even with that ridiculous haircut.

It never took much to convince him of something or to do something for that matter. If you put any liquid in his hand he’d drink it, I think I watched him drink hand sanitizer on a dare made by Ben. I never convinced him to go on a date with me, though. We always spent our time alone together, holed up in my room. Though back then, I always considered our late-night solo show adventures a good filler. He never noticed how happy they made me. That should’ve been a red flag, but they always just look like flags in rose-colored glasses. I seemed to be an expert at collecting red flags. I convinced myself for years that my time with my ex back in Nashville was normal.

Harriet pulled my head out of ass, though, and brought me here. To more red flags. It’s funny how completely opposite the two of them are. Jack and John (John and John if you want to get technical). John, at first, took me everywhere. He knew everyone and could get in anywhere. He showed me off and always made it clear who he was with. Once he had me fully wrapped around his finger, and we were living together, it switched. I wasn’t allowed to go out, not without his permission. I couldn’t talk to anyone except my bandmates, that was limited too. He held my playing shows above my head. If I was “good,” I could play under his supervision. I mean, he managed our band, he always knew our every move. It’s easy to misconstrue love, confuse what possession is. I was his pet, his thing to show off and shove in a closet until he needed me again. It took years to notice that it wasn’t okay.

The beginning is always just so intoxicating.

Jack just had this air to him, that same confidence as john. He knew he was talented and certainly knew he was good looking. The difference is Jack is humble. He could barely take a complaint from me, and as he grew, he didn’t know how to handle the attention. He didn’t lavish in it as John had, as short-lived as his attention was. Jack and I hid away, our confessions of our true feelings hiding on lyric sheets feet away from the other. That made my want stronger, I never felt I could have him, but we were so close it almost felt like I could have him. Its that moment, though, when you stare at each other with such love and warmth, faces growing so close you could feel their body heat. Your so close you can almost taste it, and that’s the moment he leaves. We didn’t cuddle. We weren’t affectionate. It was his choice. He left after tender moments, he left before breakfast, and he left before we finished the last verse of our song. We never were anything, and we never got anywhere. Me being me, it never was a thought in my mind. My judgment was clouded every time he looked at me with those eyes that pulled me in the first time.

While we grew closer, nothing ever changed, he came over, we fucked, and then wrote together. Sharing the same Camel pack every time. I never thought he shared my feelings for him. He never showed it. He was as open as he was closed. He only let you see what he wanted. That was until me, and the girls were all hanging around during a White Stripes practice. Which was quite common. We all watched each other play, testers for anything new that we cooked up. Meg was weirdly good at knowing what riffs people would like. She always was smarter than any of us would ever be.

That day Jack introduced a new song. It wasn’t entirely new to me. I taught him the parts, I always played the solos. He never quite got it back then. I was overjoyed to finally hear it. None of the girls were too focused on them. They always got stupid high. Jack and Meg’s landlord didn’t quite care if they smoked, not that ever did, though. It was a slower song, and a lot of work was put into it. Knowing him, the lyrics always had just as much care.

He refused to meet my eyes. He didn’t look at me once. His eyes quickly flipping between the wall behind me and his guitar. It was very, obviously intentional. He was a storyteller, he always did it so carefully in songs, hiding the message. This seemed incredibly open. Too obvious. He was hesitant. It wasn’t until the “Chorus” (it could barely be called a chorus) that he started to get a bit more confident. It was apparent he had a lot to say.

Miss Suzy lee

The one I'm speaking of

The question is

Is she the one I love?

That made my ears perk up, my eyes locked onto the floor. Why was I afraid to look at him?

Maybe I was thinking about it too much. My hope tends to get the best of me. Still, this pit in my stomach was growing with each note he played.

She sent me flowers

The name of an incredibly sappy song I showed him

With her tears burned inside

Again it was embarrassingly open

And you know what I'd do?

I would run and hide.

Fuck. I think my imagination and reality were clashing. I might actually have finally snapped and lost it.

And the paper

On it was my name

Okay, I definitely did hide the unofficial nickname I made for him. I didn't use it often. I called him “Tree” when I was annoyed with him.

With the question

Do you feel the same?

I knew. I knew he didn’t notice my intentions that day, though he should’ve won an oscar for his acting. He pretended like he didn’t notice.

I think I’m going to legitimately throw up on their ratty couch. I’m going to throw up, and it’s his fault. Jesus, I’m overreacting to a song that’s probably not about me. Fuck I need this to be over so I can breathe. Maybe look up from this thrifted carpet.

Again his words make my head snap up. This time I met his eyes.

To end this tale

The one I'm speaking of

I wish I had an answer, but I just don't know

Is this really love?

I left the room as fast as possible after he said love. I didn’t think I could stomach it. Fuck. Shit. Jesus Christ, retribution may be in my future.

Everything changed after that. I couldn’t look at him, I avoided him, the hope would kill me. It was killing me. I’ve always gotten too excited over people, too attached, and whenever this moment came, I spiraled. I had longed for his love for so long, and the idea of getting it overwhelmed me, being around him overwhelmed me. I avoided him, said I was busy every time he asked to hang out. I didn’t even bother to hide that I was making excuses. It took him a week to stop taking my bullshit. Jack was incredibly blunt. He wasn’t one to beat around the bush. One night he knocked on our door, and someone other than me answered, and they sent him my way. I didn’t tell the girls my feelings. I was too afraid to say it out loud. I didn’t want to be in love again. I loathed it. I wanted to be the person who could be fuck buddies and be fine with it, but I fall too hard. Every fucking time. It’s inescapable.

My dad always said I loved harder than others and should hold onto it, but it only hurt me.

That night fucked everything up. He didn’t look at me. If he did, it wasn’t for long. For the first time, he looked cowardly. He stormed into my room. I could hear his very distinguishable and heavy footsteps coming up the stairs. My heart pounded into my throat with every footstep. He didn’t knock. He always knocked. His hair had grown out, it lost its curl, but it hung in his face just as it always did. He didn’t look smug. He didn’t have his bubble of confidence. He was meek. He was small. I remember his hands flying to his pockets. He did that when he was nervous.

As I said before, he doesn’t beat around the bush. I wish he did that day. Spared my heartbreak for a few minutes.

“Lee, I can’t love you.”

Those fucking words. They rang through my mind for years. Every time I saw him in the news, saw his face in magazines in passing at grocery stores. It felt like id been ripped in half, I was speechless, I physically could not form words. That feeling happened every once in a while when I reminded. Overtime I numbed to it.

`He was married. Can you believe that? I was the mistress and with my best friend’s husband. The moment he pulled his hand out to scratch his face, I saw it. The wedding band that was never there before. I think he wore to mess with me, one last laugh. He knew this would be the end of us ever seeing each other, working together.

He said he kept it off during shows for the brother-sister act, and just took it off before seeing me. Jack was never a coward, but it took him a year to tell him he was married. I hung out with them daily, I watched their dog when they toured, and I never noticed once. He was fucking married. The real kicker is that the girls knew too and didn’t tell me earlier. They let me live on with my sins. I felt so dirty. He just kept talking that day. He didn’t stop. Nervously rambled on, and he never did that. He was quiet. He opened his mouth to say something that’ll either make you cry laughing or make your heart swell. He was whip-smart and knew when to speak. I just let him go until he ran out of steam, tears quietly slipping down my cheeks. Still, stone-faced. The moment he stopped, I just silently showed him out and softly shut the door behind him.

That night, I about committed arson, okay I didn’t, but I sure wanted to. At first, I cried. And cried,… and cried. It was a mess. Soon that turned to me having a small existential crisis and dumping everything on the cashier at the liquor store who definitely knew the others, and was incredibly uncomfortable. We went there a lot. As soon as the alcohol had been bought, it was gone. I spent the night binge drinking and wrecking everything in my room. I ripped up my journals for songs, I set a small fire to my sketches of him, and I very furiously tried to wash the smell of him out of my sheets. I also punched a hole in my wall, which I kept a secret until the girls moved out. The next day I switched to Marlboros, the smell of camels gives me that same gut punch. It was his brand.

I said some not great things to the girls. I blamed them for my downfall for not telling me. I made them my excuse. I shortly left the band. We had tried to do a show, but I was so drunk I couldn’t remember most of the songs. I was also told I was lost my pants at some point.

I moved out of the house and lost all ties to them. I cut all ties to jack. I couldn’t go home, though. I burned too many bridges with my family and friends, a bad habit I seemed to have. I still played shows.

The good thing to come out of my rage and fall into substance abuse was my music. I went through some phases. I was playing my standard stuff for a while, just with a bit more... Anger? Then some months later, in ‘99, the stripe’s first album came out. Of course, I fucking bought it. I kept all their records. I couldn’t let go for some reason. I listened to it on repeat. I was so outraged that it was good. I heard myself in their songs, saw my name in the liner notes, I heard myself in his lyrics. I was obsessed; it was great. For two years, I fought and scratched to get some kind of record deal. I got a two-album deal. I toured nonstop, played with some damn good musicians, though I never was happy.

I lived a life of driving and playing. Most of the time, I had no fucking clue what state I was in. In New Jersey around 2003, I’d made some friends and played with them for a bit, fucking around in their basement. I lived there for a bit. I couldn’t stomach Detroit. I stayed consistently drunk from that night in ‘98 until 2004 when I received a friend’s call, showing me where I was headed.

We talked through it, and both decided to get sober. We both were sick. They sparked something musical in me, though. I started to get heavier, I played punk, I put my aggression entirely into my music. I produced my own stuff then, scraping what I could together. I made that record and went back to Detroit. As painful as it was, I couldn’t go back to Nashville, so I was stuck here. I mostly just fucked around, still living pretty much like a hermit, making music in my basement. When the Elephant came out, I couldn’t avoid hearing The White Stripes. They were an international success. I still collected all their records and listened to them extensively. As time went on, my existence in his lyrics disappeared. As for him, it did for me, I’d given up. It was dumb to be upset over it all these years later, still, thinking of him hurt so much. I was restless. I was bored. I wanted to be back out on the road again.

While I was usually blackout drunk every day, I still loved it. Playing something new somewhere new every day. That’s when my friend frank from my New Jersey days called me up in ‘07 to join his new band. I think he was just as fed up and restless as I was. We played “hardcore punk.” though that's debatable. We were sick of shit and needed to yell about it. It was my last hurrah with my inner turmoil. We finished the album and got onto the FBI watchlist for a political song.

I looked down at my phone to see I was getting a call from “Party Dad.” I knew what this is about.

“Did- did they show up at your door too?”

“Frank, you know they did.”

“Dude was fucking on the FBI’s list!” He was just as excited as I was.

“Hell fucking yeah, we are! You know we were still playing the song.”

“Oh, you know it. We will find a way around what they said. Plus fuck the government, that’s the whole point.”

“Two 30 something-year-olds on the FBI watchlist for a fucking song. This day could not get better.”

See here for the song

And toured. We toured for a while. Our last tour date was actually on my birthday in ‘08. In Nashville, no less. I didn’t tell my family, and surely didn’t expect them to be there. I never saw them, but I did see a familiar face. A significantly grown-up Ben Blackwell front and center. It caught me by surprise, that’s for sure, I slipped up a note or two upon seeing him. Though when we met up after, I was surprised how cool I stayed. I hadn’t seen anyone from my past in the years since. Ben has always been the sweet kid. I could never be mad. After that, we always stayed in touch, and whenever one of us was in Detroit or Nashville, we always met up. We recorded a couple tracks too. He’s always been a hell of a drummer.

The band didn’t live long because of the others projects, but I always worked with Frankie when he asked. I even played drums for most of his last album. I got a call while trying to make a drumline for one of the tracks. It was my mom. I hadn’t spoken to her in 14 years. The last time we talked, we’d gotten into the screaming match to end all screaming matches over my focus and direction in life. She didn’t want me to move, she didn’t want me to pursue music, and she didn’t want me to leave John. She always worried I’d die an old maid. I hadn’t dated since Jack, so I can see her concern now.

She dropped the bomb that my dad was sick. Of course, he was sick of all people. He was the most important man in my life. I hated being away from him. I could never bear to see him, and it turns out I’ve been wasting my time with him. All the tour stops, and I hadn’t seen him once. Guilt filled me. I felt the weight of it all. I felt the same tearing feeling, the same gut punch. I told frank everything, and him being him, he sent me off as quickly as possible to be with my family.

My mom didn’t mention the fight. She just hugged me and sent me to my dad’s room. She couldn’t look at me, though.

The moment I entered the house, I could hear Willie Nelson, a Red-headed stranger. It was always his favorite. My dad never showed his pain. He wanted to show us strength. It was heartbreaking to see him now in this state. I pushed it down. We talked for hours, and I told him everything, good and bad. He was always understanding. He knew my mind and reasoning better than I do.

When Ben invited me to a Third Man event, I hesitated. We see each other frequently now that I’m back in town for who knows how long. He always invites me shows and record release parties. I always declined, even though my feelings have changed, I still can’t see jack.

This time though, he said jack wouldn’t be there, something about his kids. Which took me by surprise, yet didn’t surprise me at all. So I agreed. To my dislike. I love ben, but the thought of being in Jack’s business nauseates me.

I watched the show from behind in the control room. Even though id heard it a million times, Ben did not hesitate to talk me through the live recording process. I was half paying attention, aimlessly looking at the crowd.

Then I heard that laugh, the same from all those years ago.

My heart leapt, panic-filled. I about pushed Ben over trying to get his attention. The footsteps. The heavy thuds came down the polished hallway. I nearly tore ben apart, trying to ask him if there was a bathroom.

I was waiting for my breath. There were two entrances. Both blocked. I could either join the band on stage or run straight into the man I’m trying so hard to avoid. Ben looked so frazzled, trying to calm me down. I felt a shiver run through me, and I suddenly stopped. I was frozen, looking at the hallway.

The bustle stopped, the footsteps stopped, all the people around him stopped in confusion. I locked eyes with him the moment he entered the room. No one dared move. Ben looked terrified next to, and the men around jack were whispering to themselves, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Then he spoke, almost like he didn’t believe I was in front of him.

“Rosie?”

8 notes · View notes

babymetaldoll · 3 years ago

Text

Danger Days - Chapter twenty three: “So hold on tight and don’t look back”

Word count: 21,8K

Summary: Joey has to say goodbye. It's her final show with MCR. How will Gerard react to the news of her departure?

Warnings: Cursing, sadness, fluffiness... angst?

A/N: Sorry, this is a long one. But it had to be, there was too much to be said.

Masterlist

::: New York, April 22nd, 2011 :::

Frank walked around his house, picking up baby toys in his way from her room to the kitchen. Joey and Matthew kept trying to bathe the twins, and Mrs. Iero enjoyed her half-hour of peace that morning. She hummed a song on the radio and getting ready to snack on her own for the first time in months. She just had to make herself a sandwich and eat it alone, sitting at the kitchen table, reading the book she had started six months earlier and still couldn't finish.

She was glad to be home after a month of traveling with the band and the babies. Though, to be honest, Matthew and Joey had helped a lot as part of their training to be better parents. But there's no place like home. And Jamia needed to sleep in her bed and be close to her family. Frank was staying home for two weeks, and that was always good news. Though they still had to travel to Los Angeles for their friend's wedding the following weekend.

But Joey had just two days left with the band. The replacement had been picked, and Gerard still had no idea. The band had managed to keep him in the dark about everything. They had also managed to keep Joey away from him.

- "What the fuck?!"- Gerard nearly shouted as soon as he realized the drummer wasn't staying with them. They had just reached Denver, April 9th. It was his fucking birthday, Joey hadn't even looked at him, and she said goodbye to them at the airport. Matthew had most flights apart from her 'cos he had booked them not knowing her schedules, though he had managed to change a few to be close to her. That day, he was on a different flight.

- "She's staying with Gub"- Mikey simply said and walked from his brother to get his bags- "Happy birthday, by the way."

- "What is it, babe?- Lynz asked as soon as she noticed her husband was way too upset about something.

- "No, nothing important. I was just..."- he didn't have an excuse, so he just stopped talking and started walking.

It was obvious something was bothering him, but there was no way to talk to him about it at the moment.

It had been a shitty month for Way, but he had managed to stay calm. He felt the band was giving him the cold shoulder, though they all denied it when he asked if something was wrong. Having his wife close was helping him to stay focused, and though he didn't want to face it, having Joey away was better for him. In a way. At least now he had no chance to go knock on her door. Now he only had the time on stage, and some small press shows to stare at her. But then, his wife was right there. So, he really didn't have many chances.

- "Ok, Jamia"- Joey walked into the kitchen with a clean Lilly- "Your adorable little daughter just took a bath, and she is wearing an amazing outfit her favorite aunt got for her."

The drummer smiled. She had gotten the twins two cute black dresses with bats and skulls.

- "You are awesome!"- Jamia smiled and made a pause. She heard Matthew laughing at the back, and water still splashing- "And Cherry?"

- "She might be still in the bathtub."

- "Why?"

- "'Cos Matthew won't stop playing with her. It's the third time he changes the water to keep it warm."

- "Please, stop him"- Jamia chuckled and opened her arms to hold Lilly.

The couple was staying over with the Ieros for their last show in New York. Frank had insisted. And Mikey was there most of the time. The two of them were enjoying their final hours with Joey, not saying it out loud, though. She knew it, and she was enjoying it too. But she was eager to leave as well. Her belly was growing, and she wanted to reach Los Angeles soon. She had booked an appointment with her doctor for next Wednesday.

Besides, she and Matthew had been planning their wedding. They had been planning their life together, and Joey just wanted to leave the tour and start living it with him. Start their family. All the things she never thought she might want. Living a normal kind of life.

- "Yami! Help!"- Gubler yelled from the bathroom- "Cherry is swimming in her own pee!!"- Joey and Jamia stared at each other, and the drummer sighed.

- "And you are having a baby with him."

- "Help me..." - the soon-to-be mother whispered and walked to the bathroom, leaving her friend chuckling.

Matthew had to go back to work the following week. He had already talked with the show producers, and they were pretty much waiting for him. Besides, Gubler had to prepare the episode he was going to direct next month. He was going to be collapsed under a mountain of work, but still, he was happy to be in New Jersey, watching his fiancée play with Cherry, after finally getting the baby dressed.

- "I love you"- he whispered in her ear and kissed her cheek.

- "I love you more"- she answered and blushed, something Matthew always found adorable.

- "I surely doubt it because "I've crossed oceans of time to find you," remember?"- he murmured with a lower voice and made her bit her lips.

- "You love all the attention those signs are getting, Gub"- Joey stood up with Cherry in her arms and walked to the kitchen to give her to Jamia.

- "It's not my fault people found out I am a hopeless romantic who happens to be deeply in love with you."

- "Twitter and Tumblr accounts have been created to share your banners"- Joey pointed out, and he chuckled.

- "But you have to face it, it's pretty cool that people are sharing every banner I've made for you, 'cos it shows everybody on earth how much I love you."

- "Oh, stop it!"- Frank walked over them and held her daughter- "You have to stop being so fucking newlywed already! You are making me look bad in front of Jamia! Especially you, Gub!"

Joey chuckled at those words, giving Iero his baby.

- "Now go get ready, Bug! we have to leave in an hour."

- "Yes, Jersey!"

The drummer turned around and walked to the guest's room to change her outfit, as Matthew walked to the kitchen with Frank and started making his daily banner.

- "What does today's banner says?"- Jamia asked and walked over as soon as she saw him with his markers.

- "If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more"- he answered with a smile and started writing

- "Where do you get all those ideas from?"- Frank looked at his wife as soon as he heard her asking that question. Her voice trembled in excitement, and he could almost see hearts floating upon her head as she looked at the actor. He would be jealous if he didn't know it was just a silly crush like he had on Joey.

- "This is a quote from one of her favorite books"- Jamia sighed, and Frank smiled.

- "Ok, honey, let's get the babies ready for the trip"- he said and held his wife's hand. She slowly walked out of the kitchen- "And you should stop drooling on the banners, you might ruin them"- he whispered and chuckled, feeling Jamia smack his arms, embarrassed.

- "Shut up!"

Christa and Ray were on their way to New York when he got Brian's call. He knew what it was all about, but he didn't want to face it just yet. He couldn't ignore it, though. He knew that.

- "Hey! What's up?"- Toro picked up and sighed. His wife knew he had been avoiding that conversation.

- "Hello, hello! Are you coming?"

- "On our way."

- "Hi Brian!"- Christa said and smiled at her husband, landing a hand on his thigh.

- "Hey! How are you?"

- "Great, excited to have Ray home and to see the show tonight!"

- "Brian, what can I do for you? We will be there in less than half an hour"- Ray decided to cut to the chase, mostly because he wanted to end with his agony.

- "I need to know why you don't want to tell Gerard that Joey is leaving. You are meeting the new guy tomorrow at noon, he has to know! I can't believe we've kept him in the dark for the last two weeks"- anyone could tell Brian was upset and nervous about what was going on. He didn't suspect anything, but he knew something must be terribly wrong if the band kept something so important from him.

- "I'll tell him tonight, after the show, ok?"- Ray compromised, against his will- "We'll tell him after the show, just please don't say anything until then."

- "What the fuck is going on?"

- "Nothing is going on. We are just... "Lie Raymond!! Lie!!" he hasn't been feeling well, I mean... the tour has been too long, and it has been affecting him. We were afraid the news of Joey's departure might... influence his performance"- it was bullshit, it wasn't plausible, and Ray knew it.

- "Ok..."- Brian's answer was more of a question than an affirmation- "I guess... just talk to him today, 'cos I know he is gonna be fucking mad at me for keeping it from him."

- "I'll take the blame, don't worry, man."

- "I'm fucking worried."

- "Calm down, see you in a bit"- Ray hung up and cursed under breath- "Do you think he bought that?"

- "Sure!"- Christa lied right away, but her husband just raised an eyebrow as he looked at her, and she sighed- "You are the worst liar, but part of what you said was true... most of it actually. You just sugarcoated it"- he gave her a tired smile and sighed.

- "I guess there's no way we are gonna get rid of this fight today."

- "I'm sorry, honey"- Christa turned to Ray and cut him a sympathetic smile- "But it's better if you just tell him once for all. He has to be a grown-up, and he knows everything he did wrong. He has to deal with the consequences of his actions"- the guitarist sighed and nodded to his wife.

- "I know that. You know that, Frank and Mikey know that"- Ray made a pause and tried to collect his thoughts, frustrated in anticipation of what was gonna happen that night- "But for some weird reason, Gerard just... lost it at some point of this tour."

- "He has been under a lot of pressure"- Christa tried to justify Way's behavior, but by the look in her husband's eyes, he knew it was impossible- "Fine, he is crazy."

- "So fucking crazy! You should have seen him! The last time I saw him being this fucking mental, he was under the influence trying to kill himself like eight years ago."

- "Come on, Ray!"- Christa questioned his words, but he shook his head.

- "No, I mean it, I'm not overacting. I just pray he won't act that crazy tonight when we tell him."

- "Just make sure Matthew is far from him 'cos he is gonna go mental if he is as obsessed as you say he is."

And that was exactly what Ray was afraid of. He needed to make sure Joey and Matthew were as far from Gerard as possible the minute they dropped the bomb. 'Cos that might end up turning into hell for everybody. Maybe if they had Lynz near, he might try to keep his calm.

Matthew held Joey's hand tight as they walked backstage on their way to the dressing room. The drummer kept wishing Gerard wasn't there, and Gubler kept hoping it was already the next day to finally leave. Joey was so anxious to put as much distance as possible between her and Gerard. She and her boyfriend had booked a flight to Las Vegas right after the concert.

- "Hey, Yami"- he suddenly said, his voice a little jumpier than it was intended to be, as they stood outside the dressing room's door- "Did you know we are gonna be in Vegas in two days?"- and she chuckled as she looked at Matthew's excited smile while he talked to her.

They had told his family they were back together and planning their wedding, which already had a date. They still hadn't told them about the baby, though. That was the reason they were taking a flight to Vegas to talk to Marilyn and the rest of Matthew's family and give them the amazing news.

- "We are not gonna marry in Vegas, you know that"- Joey answered and raised an eyebrow, teasing her boyfriend.

- "I know, I know..."- he quickly replied and pulled her softly closer to him, forcing her to stop walking- "But we are getting married in our house in a week, which is actually better."

She grinned and bit her lower lip, staring at his bright and warm smile. His eyes were shining as they stared at her, and his hands cupped her face.

- "Are we way too cheesy to be excited about getting married in our backyard?"- the drummer asked, thinking she always laughed at the idea of a backyard wedding 'cos it was too cliché. But now, it was all she could think of to make her happy.

- "It's our wedding. We can be excited about it as much as we want"- Gubler answered, and Joey stared at him, smiling at her, to then feel his soft lips on hers.

- "The only way it would have been better was if it had been on May the Fourth, and we could have gotten married on Star Wars day"- she rambled, looking at the ceiling.

- "Geek"- Matthew chuckled, and Joey stuck out her tongue- "But... we are still pretty close to the date, maybe as an homage to that important day, you could dress like slave Leia on our wedding night?"- he whispered in a lower voice, rubbing his lips against hers.

- "It depends"- Joey wrapped her arms around his neck and caressed his skin softly, making him shiver at the touch- "Are you gonna fuck me like a dirty whore if I'm dressed like Leia?"- Gubler's eyes widened at the thought as she raised an eyebrow with a cocky smile- "Looks like you will..."

- "Maybe I should fuck you senseless right now, for teasing daddy so much..."- his whispers sent shivers all over Joey's body as his face remained calm, serious. Undisturbed after those words.

- "I'm not teasing you, daddy. I'm demanding you to fuck the brains out of me"- she replied and winked at him, to then turn around, hold his hand and walk into the dressing room. But he hugged her and spun her around as soon as the door opened, his lips crushing hers in a second. Joey let go a soft moan as she felt how his hands pulled her closer to him, holding her hips.

- "Excuse me"- Gerard's voice interrupted the couple as he and Lynz stood by the door, waiting to walk into the dressing room.

- "Sorry"- Joey murmured and moved aside and cut Lynz a smile- "How are you?"

- "Great! How are you? How's the baby?"- Mrs. Way gave the drummer a small hug and turned to Matthew- "Nice to see you too!"

And the actor waved at her. The couple was at their nicest. Meanwhile, Gerard disappeared into the dressing room.

- "I am feeling more and more pregnant, at least I'm not puking anymore... kind of... not every day, at least."

- "How many weeks?"

- "Thirteen"- Matthew answered, proud- "We've got a check-up next Wednesday, and we'll find out if we are having a Bean or a Ponyo"- Lynz stared at him, not getting what he was talking about.

- "I'm guessing that means a boy or a girl in some... weird... way"- and the couple smiled.

- "You got it right"- Gubler nodded and held Joey close to him, wrapping an arm around her waist. It was his way to make her feel secure and protected, he knew being close to Lynz, and Gerard was hell for her.

- "Just one more day"- the young woman kept telling herself as she smiled and nodded to the woman standing in front of her. She really felt like shit. That was the only way to describe it. Shit.

- "Kiddo!"- Tucker's voice interrupted the awkward moment and forced the girl to turn around and see her best friend standing a few feet from her with wide opened arms.

- "Bamm Bamm!"- she ran to him and hugged him tightly, feeling him lifting her and spinning her in the air as they hugged- "Oh my god, I've missed you so much!!"

- "I missed you too! How's my niece?!"

- "Or nephew"- she added and smiled as her friend landed a hand on her belly- "Oh fuck!!"- Joey wrapped her arms around him tighter and sobbed- "I'm so fucking happy you are here."

- "Hey! Hey! What the hell?"- Tucker held her and frowned- "Why are you crying?"

- "'Cos I'm pregnant, and I do this now"- she answered chuckling, still crying- "I'm emotional, I have feelings, and they come through my eyes. Apparently, I'm human or whatever."

Tucker caressed her hair and kissed the top of her head sweetly.

- "I love this softer version of you."

- "I can still kickass, you know."

- "I am sure"- Rule smiled at his friend and looked over Matthew. Gubler remembered the last time he had seen the drummer. He had threatened to kill him if he ever hurt Joey.

Was he going to be like Frank and Mikey and fight him too?

- "What the fuck is he doing here?"

Of course, he would.

- "Tucker..."- Joey whispered- "Please don't do it."

- "Don't do what?"

- "Don't get all... apprehensive and shit, I mean it"- but the older drummer let her go and walked to Matthew.

- "I told you not to fuck with her feelings"- and so he began.

- "And I told you, don't fucking do this"- Joey stood in the middle of the two men and felt her boyfriend's hand on her shoulder as he walked over and stood right in front of Tucker.

- "No, Yami, he is right, and I completely understand if you wanna break my face or yell at me."

- "Akumu..."

- "No, really"- Matthew stayed calmed and kept his eyes on the man- "You warned me, and I am sorry I fucked things up. But I already made amends with Joey, and I'm planning on spending the rest of my life making her happy, every single fucking day"- Gubler stared at him and shook his head-" If you want to hit me, go ahead. I know I deserve it"- and Tucker was lost at that reaction- "Your friend already forgave me, though I know it took her a lot to decide if she could trust me again, and I love the fact she did, but if you want to hate me, I can't stop you"- the actor simply stood in front of Rule and sighed- "I mean it"

- "Matthew, there's no need to do this. Tucker doesn't hate you"- Joey walked closer to the two of them and held Gubler's hand.

- "Yes, I do"- Rule answered right away.

- "Fine, my friend hates you, but I don't."

- "I know, Yami, but I deserve your friend's hate 'cos he warned me, and I let him down too."

- "What do you mean he warned you?"- Joey was confused 'cos she didn't recall any threatening conversation between the two of them. What were they talking about?

- "That doesn't matter, kiddo. What matters here is that your boyfriend knows he fucked it up with me, and I am not going to forget what he did to you"- the girl sighed and shook her head.

- "It's a good thing I am the one who's marrying him then"- Joey simply replied and sighed, decided to end with that senseless argument- "Bambam, I love you, and I am happy you want to take care of me."

Tucker frowned at those words. Where was the "I don't need anyone taking care of me" speech?

- "But?"

- "There is no "but." I really appreciate it. All though, you know I can make my own decisions, and as my best friend, you should respect them"- Rule frowned and sighed, knowing it was useless to argue with her.

- "I respect your decisions, kiddo."

- "Thank you, and you are invited to our wedding if you promise to be a good friend and don't act like an asshole"- Joey crossed her arms across her chest- "You don't have to like Gub or be his best friend. I'm just asking you to be at my wedding like my best friend."

- "Like your best man?"- he asked, and she bit her inner lip

- "Would you wear one of my maids of honor's dresses?"- she whispered, knowing she couldn't really be mad at her best friend.

- "You've got maids of honor?!"- and now Tucker was in shock- "Kiddo! You are a girl!"

- "I know! And I have a baby belly! I don't recognize myself anymore!!"- Tucker hugged Joey one more time and kissed her forehead.

- "You are never going to stop me from taking care of you."

- "I know. After these months touring with Mikey, Frank, and Ray, I've come to make peace with the idea of having friends who love me enough to take a bullet for me."

- "Wow... that's brand new information"- the girl grinned and looked at her boyfriend.

- "So? Truce?"- Gubler asked and reached out his hand to Rule. He sighed and shook it

-" Truce, only because I love her."

- "I love her too, so at least we are on the same page."

It was a bittersweet show for the band that night. Though Gerard was still in the dark about what was about to happen, he could tell his friends were playing with... sadness? Melancholy maybe? He couldn't tell why, but it was certain they all shared a blue feeling that didn't seem to fit into the scene. He was nearly convinced Joey had tears as "Kids from yesterday" ended, and she and Mikey stopped playing, staring at each other.

- "Well, are you ready, Ray?!"- Gerard yelled on the mic as Vampire Money started. Joey felt a knot of her throat as she thought about how much that song made her feel part of the band. And how excited she was when Gerard made her part of it back in the days.

- "Yeah!!"

- "How about you, Bug?"

- "Yeah!"- and the girl yelled from into the mic he had moved closer as she looked at Gerard smiling at her. It was now the only moment of the day that he would talk to her, and she would actually answer. It was now his favorite moment of every show.

- "How about you, Frank?!"

- "Oh fuck you, asshole!"

- "How about you, Mikey?"

- "Fucking ready!"- the bassist spoke into the mic but looked at Joey the whole time. He wanted to make sure he could remember how it was like to play with his sister.

Mikey had been sad and upset about her departure for weeks now, but he knew it was for the better. Things had been hard for her, only because of Gerard. But Gerard could never be the one to leave the band.

- "I think I'm alright!"- the singer yelled and started singing, walking all over the stage, only avoiding to look at Matthew, who was, just like every show, in the first row, holding his banner and staring at Joey like she was the only person on earth for him. Like there was no one around, not now, not ever. Gerard couldn't hate him more, even if he tried. And he could try.

Lynz stared at the show and kept her eyes on each member of the band. Just like Gerard, she could feel something odd with everybody, but she couldn't think of anything. They looked sad, but as long as she knew, neither of them had a reason to. She would also look at Matthew, still in awe of everything he had done to get his girl back. She was jealous, though she was never going to face it. She didn't know if Gerard would do such a thing if she ever left him. She knew he loved her, and she felt how much he loved her. But she didn't know if he would reach those levels of commitment, desperation, or love.

One had to be really stupid not to see Matthew loved Joey more than he loved himself. Did Gerard love Lynz the same way? She was afraid to ask.

- "So, how it's having the guys in your house these days?"- Mrs. Way asked Jamia, who enjoyed the show after leaving the babies with her mom back home.

- "It's great. Matthew is so fucking funny! They are the best guesses I've ever had"- Frank's wife was more than excited to have her crush in the house with her, and she wasn't shy about it.

- "Is he always this... lovely?"- Lynz pointed at the actor, who was jumping and smiling at Joey

- "Like a dork in love?"- Jamia chuckled and nodded- "The whole time, he is adorable, though I've got the feeling Frank gets jealous pretty often."

- "'Cos you pay him more attention?"

- "No"- Jamia chuckled- "'Cos Joey never pays him any attention when Matthew is around"- and Mrs. Iero chuckled- "It's so cute how he tries to cover his silly crush on her like I just met him yesterday"- Lynz raised an eyebrow and looked surprised at Jamia.

- "Frank has a crush on her?"

- "I've got the feeling they all have some sort of thing on her, like a little sister obsessive and protective thing they all share."

- "Doesn't it make you jealous? Worry?"- Lynz looked at her in shock.

- "Why should I?"- Jamia asked, honestly confused- "It's not like he loves her that way. I can see clearly how much they all care for her. They all... see her as their sister."

- "What if he tries to have something with her?"- Lynz was clearly talking about her own fears.

- "It's not like that, and I know it..."- Jamia simply answered- "You feel it in your guts when a girl is a threat for you, and this girl is nothing like it, she is my husband's friend, he loves getting her attention, that is who he is, and he has always been like that, not just with her."

- "I think Mikey is in love with her"- there was a deep silence between the two women. Jamia wanted to walk away, but she couldn't. She knew why Joey was leaving. She knew what Gerard had done, and most of all, she knew Lynz was trying to see if she knew anything about it. So Jamia had no way out. She had to be cool and lie.

- "Why?"- and she even sounded all innocent when she asked the dumbest question.

- "What do you mean why? He is always protecting her and drooling all over her... Gerard told me he would even spend the night in her room with her after she broke up with Matthew. I'm sure something happened between them."

- "Really?"

- "Alicia always felt she was going after Mikey"- Lynz hadn't talked about Alicia in a while. The mention of her name surprised Jamia.

- "I thought Alicia was already over him when she joined the band... wasn't she already cheating him back then?"- Jamia was starting to get mad at the insinuations Lynz was making.

- "They were still married back then, and she felt Joey was onto Mikey from day one."

But the fact Lynz was so lost and clueless about what had actually happened made Jamia feel a little sorry for her.

- "I wonder why she doesn't just leave? she is pregnant. I'm sure all this touring ain't good for the baby."

- "There's no need to be so mean"- the words sneaked out of Jamia's lips as she heard that comment- "She hadn't done anything to you."

- "I didn't mean it like that. I'm just saying she should take better care of her baby! That's all."

Jamia crossed her arms on her chest and kept her eyes on the stage. Frank turned to her that minute and winked, cutting her an adorable smile. She stuck her tongue out to him and chuckled.

Ray took off his shirt and tossed it on a chair as he sipped his beer and wiped off the sweat from his face with a towel. The show was over, and he and the band waited for the best moment to speak with Gerard. Joey was already gone to find Matthew, and she wasn't going to come back. But Lynz, Jamia and Christa were waiting for them.

- "Guys, I think we need to have a meeting"- Toro simply announced, and Gerard frowned right away.

- "Now?"

- "Yes"

- "We just played a show, can we just talk in the morning? I wanna go home and sleep. I'm weary."

- "It can't wait, Gee"- Ray's voice was so serious, Gerard got worried.

- "I'm gonna tell Jamia to go back home then. Maybe Jeffrey can get a van to take them all home safe"- Frank said, probably giving Gerard a hint he had to do the same with Lynz.

Thankfully, he did, and after their wives were gone, Toro was ready to... stare at his friend, not knowing how to say it.

- "So? What did we need to talk about so urgently?"- Gerard lit a cigarette and sipped a can of diet coke as he stared at Ray, waiting for an answer.

- "Ok, so... we've got some news"- the guitarist answered, walking around the room, lighting a cigarette too. Both Frank and Mikey did the same, to end up with the whole band smoking in silence.

- "What kind of news?"

- "Just... news"- Ray was struggling with the words, so it took him a minute or two to arrange his thoughts.

- "Ok, tell me"- Gerard was getting anxious. His friend had never been to... hesitant to tell him anything.

- "Tomorrow at noon, Brian will introduce us to our new drummer"- Toro said directly- Joey is leaving after the show, and we've got her a replacement.

Gerard felt someone had smashed his head against the wall. He didn't know what to say. He stared at his friends, neither of them saying anything.

- "What?"

- "Joey is leaving"- Mikey's voice was cold like it had been for the latest days. He loved his brother, but he was so mad at him he couldn't hide it anymore.

- "But why?"

- "Why?"- his brother wide opened his eyes in shock- "What do you mean "why"? 'cos she got fucking tired of your sick attitude and harassment, Gerard!"

- "I haven't harassed her!"- the singer yelled, almost insulted- "What the fuck are you talking about?! I've barely seen her these last weeks."

- "Chasing her to tell her that you love her is harassment! Trying to fuck her when she was drunk is harassment! Knocking on her door every fucking day to beg her to love you is harassment!"- Mikey was furious, and he couldn't even hide it.

- "You fucking blew it, so don't come here and pretend you are shocked with the news!"

Gerard stayed still, wide-opened eyes, mouth hanging, but no word coming from it.

- "Listen, we didn't want you to go all... well"- Ray made a reference to his condition- "So we asked Brian to look for a replacement as soon as she announced to us she was leaving, and he already got one, we are meeting him here tomorrow at noon, he is gonna come to the rehearsal and play with us for a while."

- "Gubler is making her leave!"- Gerard interrupted Toro, basically 'cos he didn't hear a word his friend had just said. He didn't care about the replacement or how Brian had got it. He just cared about one thing and one thing only: how he could make her stay.

- "No, Gerard. You are making her leave"- Ray tried to speak in the nicest tone of voice so that maybe he would listen. But no, of course, he wasn't going to listen to a word he said.

- "Why would I make her leave?"

- "'Cos, you are fucking mental, asshole!!"- and Frank lost it. He stood up in front of his friend and nearly shoved him- "You have been driving her crazy for the latest months, and she can't deal with it anymore!"

- "That ain't true"- Gerard frowned. Mikey thought his brother might be actually delusional. But the truth was, Gerard hadn't really understood how badly he had fuck things up. He was in deep denial.

- "Gerard, she doesn't speak to you! She yelled at your fucking face that she hates you!"- Frank was losing his patience and ended up shouting.

- "Stop being an asshole and deal with the truth. You fucked it up so so badly, she decided she couldn't see your fucking abusive and harassing fucking face another fucking second!!"

Frank knew he was cursing way too much, but that's how upset he was with Gerard. It took everything in him not to hit him.

- "Come on, man"- Ray walked to Iero and pushed his shoulder to move him away from the singer, scared he might actually hit him.

- "So... she really hates me, then"- Gerard knew the answer. He just didn't want to face it.

- "Yes"- Mikey simply confirmed his thoughts.

- "And she is leaving because of it"- the silence that hung in the room let him know which was the answer- "Well... that sounds very unprofessional."

- "Trying to fuck a drunk colleague it's way more unprofessional!"- Frank wasn't going to let that go; he had been keeping it to himself for days now- "I can't fucking believe you did that!"

- "I didn't try to abuse her! She wanted to do it!"

- "With Gubler! Not with you! That's why she stopped when she noticed it was you!"- Frank shouted and clenched his fist in anger- "Of all the stupid things we have done in our lives, I never even considered that you would..."

- "Shut up! Just shut up!"- Gerard shouted as tears flooded his eyes- "I know I fucked it up! I know it was wrong, and I wish I could take it back! But I can't!"

Gerard couldn't take it any longer, and after months of bottling it up, he burst out crying in front of his friends. He couldn't speak anymore. He crumbled.

He wished his friends could tell him it was ok, that it had been an honest mistake and that everything would get better soon. But it was clear that any of those words would be a plain lie. No one in that room wanted to make eye contact with Gerard as he cried and walked around. They all just smoked and tried to think about anything to say or how to stop himself from breaking his face in Frank's case.

- "I'm sorry"- Way mumbled and sobbed- "I've tried to apologize to her, but..."

- "There's no point!"- Iero shouted- "'Cos every single time I've seen you around her, or I know you've been around her, you act like a psychopath!"

- "I can apologize! I can honestly tell her I'm sorry!"- it felt Gerard was actually begging. And it was a sad scene.

- "It's too late now!"- Mikey answered with an angry voice- "You can say you already tried to do it, and she didn't want to hear you, but you know better than that..."

There was another long silence. Ray started grabbing all his things, and his friends followed his lead.

- "Tomorrow is her last day, and for Christ's sake, don't do anything stupid! Ok?"- Toro looked at Gerard, making his best not to sound threatening and slightly succeeding- "You are my best friend, and I love you, Gee. But I don't trust you around her anymore."

- "I'm not fucking sick, you know"- but all of them snorted at those words right away.

- "You've been acting like a mad man in the latest months!"- Frank didn't even turn to look at him. He just kept getting his things together to leave- "I had a massive crush on her when she first got here, and I wanted to be around her all the time and make her laugh and all that shit, but I never even thought about making my move on her, not even when I was drunk, 'cos I love my wife, and because it's clear Joey is in love with Matthew."

- "I knew it!"- Gerard jumped and nodded- "I always knew you had a thing for her!"

- "Yeah, I just said it... I had a thing for her, but she was my friend, I knew her, we would spend time together, and have fun, she was never even close to you.... so what the fuck crossed your head?!"

Iero wasn't even embarrassed by his words 'cos he wasn't embarrassed about having a silly crush on someone for a couple of weeks. He hadn't done anything wrong. Nothing at all compared to what Gerard had done.

- "I thought she wanted me"- Way simply replied- "And turns out I was wrong."

- "Yeah, but you were wrong two months ago, and you are still trying to push her"- Ray finally looked at his friend and sighed- "So please, stop it, be smart and let her go without any more drama, she is pregnant, don't do anything stupid!"

- "I won't"- Gerard whispered, and Ray nodded.

- "Thank you."

- "And I understand why you didn't want to tell me... I know I've been slightly mental over this... her... everything."

- "Slightly?"- Mikey narrowed his eyes.

- "Fine! I've been an asshole, and I fucked things up for everybody! and you all hate me!"- neither of them said a word, not even trying to deny anything he had just shouted.

- "Just... don't be a fucking psycho tomorrow, ok?"- Frank responded and nodded- "See you guys in the morning."

Iero left, and Mikey followed him a few minutes later. He tapped on his brother's back a couple of times before leaving, but no one could deny he was mad. More than mad. Mikey was furious at his brother, but he knew he couldn't do anything about it. The damage had been done.

- "There's no way we can convince her?"- Gerard whispered as he looked at Ray shaking his head.

- "You should be glad she didn't leave right away after what happened. She tried to give you a lot of second chances, and you kept pushing her... she keeps defending you 'cos she doesn't think you are a monster, but none of that means she loves you. It just means she is a better person than most of us"- Ray held his backpack and gave Gerard a small hug- "Come on, I'll drive you home."

And as sad as it might be, there was something else the band didn't want to say to Gerard. They were having a goodbye party for Joey that night in the Iero's house. It was a small get-together, just them, Mikey, Ray, and Christa. Joey pouted as she saw them all together in the kitchen, holding drinks and smiling at her.

- "Shit! Shit! Shit!"- she cursed right away as tears blurred her vision, and she covered her mouth with both hands, surprised- "What is this?"

- "Like we were going to let you go without a goodbye party!"- Jamia said and grinned- "We got you everything you love and some souvenirs from the tour to take with you back home."

- "No! guys"- Joey wiped off the tears from her cheek and felt Matthew's arms around her as he stood right behind her, landing kissing on the top of her head- "Thank you so much!"

- "The fact you are a crying human being now that you are pregnant is still so weird"- Mikey chuckled and nodded- "I remember the first time I saw tears in your eyes, and you nearly smacked me!"

- "Shut up! I can still smack you!"- the girl grinned and walked over to her friends- "Thank you, guys, you are all so sweet..."

- "And we are all so sober, so less thinking, more drinking!"- Iero quickly lifted his beer and smiled- "To our favorite drummer! Touring is gonna suck without you!"- everybody raised their drinks, and Joey smiled.

- "I'm gonna miss you too... who is gonna gross me out now?"

- "Gubs!"- Frank replied, and Matthew nodded

- "He is right, I can gross you out. I've got a lot of creepy material you haven't seen yet"- her boyfriend confirmed and smiled, kissing her temple.

- "Don't rush with that, I still wanna marry you, you know"- and he grinned at her answer.

- "Pizza is on its way"- Jamia announced- "I ordered your favorite, the one with all the meat in the world."

- "J, you are my favorite human being right now."

- "I know, Jojo"- there was a silence in the room as they all smiled at each other. It sucked, it was obvious, but still, they were all trying to make the most of it, celebrating their friendship. After all, that was the best that had come out of those months.

- "So, everybody booked our wedding date?"- Joey had to talk about anything else before she started to cry again.

- "Of course! and I am going to be there Thursday to help you with anything you need."

- "My parents are going to get there Thursday too!"- Joey smiled and clapped her hands- "I'm so fucking excited!"

- "I'm glad you never wanted a big wedding, 'cos putting one together in less than a month is a miracle, and you two seem to managed like it was nothing"- Christa was in shock when she found out what the couple had done. They really never wanted a big event, just family, close friends, and Halloween decorations.

- "It wasn't really that bad. J helped me pick a dress while we were on the road, and we shipped it to Gub's mom last week so he couldn't see it"- the drummer smiled and took a sip of her lemon cucumber water.

- "And my best friend took a wedding planner to our house to plan the set up of the whole event"- Matthew added and smiled widely- "I am glad she was on board with what we asked her to do."

- "Yeah, it was hard to get one that could make everything we had in mind."

- "Are you having a themed wedding?"- Mrs. Toro raised an eyebrow as the couple grinned

- "A Halloween theme wedding, and that is all we are spoiling about it."

- "Gub!!"- Joey turned to him and narrowed her eyes- "We were not telling them that! that was the whole surprise!"

- "Fuck!"- the young man closed his eyes and chuckled- "I'm just so excited about it!!"

- "We'll pretend to be surprised... though... I am not surprised"- Mikey smiled at his best friend- "I was actually kind of expecting it."

- "Yeah... I thought so too"- the bell rang, and Frank walked to get the pizza. Meanwhile, Ray looked for something in his backpack and gave it to Joey.

- "I made you something so you won't forget the good part of the tour."

- "Dad!"- the guitarist wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead- "You shouldn't have."

- "Yes, I should, so knock it"- the two of them chuckled, staring at each other- "Besides, it's really nothing. I just made you a little movie with all of our videos."

- "No! does that include the drunk karaoke?!"- Matthew was way too excited about it.

- "It does, and part of the drunk events in Amsterdam"- Toro's smile was an evil grin.

- "That video is priceless!!"- Gubler grabbed the DVD and kissed it- "Thank you so much!"

- "Knock it! I'm watching it before to make sure all the content is suitable to be shared with you."

- "Pizza time! excellent!"- Frank interrupted the conversation and walked with five pizza boxes- "Let's eat! I'm fucking starving!"

::: New York, April 23rd, 2011 :::

The word that described the day was bittersweet. It felt like that to everybody. Gerard had barely slept the night before, overthinking and overanalyzing every single mistake he had made ever since that tour had started. If he hadn't been so stupid and stubborn. If he had honestly tried to be her friend. If he hadn't been so focused on getting her attention, to like her. If he hadn't been such an asshole thinking she had to like him 'cos... basically 'cos he was Gerard Way, and all the girls liked him.

If he hadn't fallen in love with her.

But was that actually love? Was it just a sick obsession that blinded him? he couldn't tell. He just wanted to get it over with. He wanted to want to get it over with. But he still couldn't imagine touring without Joey. He couldn't deal with the single idea of having to live the rest of his days not seeing her. But he had to. There was no other way now.

- "If I hadn't been an asshole, she would have stayed. She wouldn't have ever thought about leaving."

His eyes watered up as he held his cup of coffee tight, trying not to cry. 'cos Lynz was sitting next to him in the van that was taking them to the arena to meet the new drummer.

- "So, she is really leaving"- she whispered and turned to her husband. Clearly, he was deeply affected, and she could swear he was about to cry when she looked at him. But it scared the shit out of Lynz to ask him to open up about his feelings for the drummer.

- "Yeah... I'm still pissed no one told us before"- to keep his wife in the dark about everything that had happened, Gerard had told her no one in the band knew she was leaving and that she had managed the issue directly with Brian.

- "Yeah, that was very unprofessional. If she had any kind of problem with you or the guys, she should have said it."

- "According to her, there are no problems. She just wants to take care of her baby."

- "That makes sense, you know..."- Lynz sipped her coffee and looked through the window- "Did Mikey know?"

- "Yeah, he did..."

- "He could have told you."

- "But he didn't."

- "He is so in love with her."

There she was, repeating the same speech again. Gerard raised an eyebrow and didn't say another word. He just drank his coffee and tried to think of anything else.

- "I mean, it's so obvious I can't believe neither of you had realized before"- but she wasn't going to let it go this time.

- "He is not in love with her."

- "Of course, he is. You just haven't seen it yet"- the singer sighed and made a long pause.

- "Maybe you are right... but he is good friends with her boyfriend too, that would be weird."

- "It's not if that's the only way he has to be close to her."

For a minute, that idea actually made sense. Maybe being friends was the only way Mikey could be close to her. But he shook that thought from his head immediately.

- "Just because you are a sick bastard who can't stop having feelings for her doesn't mean everybody else does."

It only took him six months, but Gerard finally understood it.

Joey was talking with Eddie, the new drummer. He was funny, and everybody liked him. Mikey kept doing his best not to hate him 'cos he was replacing his best friend, but he knew it wasn't his fault she was leaving. It was Gerard's.

- "It's not gonna be that much time after all,"- Joey had said to the band the night before when everybody but her was slightly drunk already- "If you think about it, you've got all may, two weeks on June, two weeks in August and you are done touring, so... you won't notice I'm not there behind the drums for too many days"- and she smiled, happy with her words.

But Mikey wasn't happy. He thought it was bullshit. One day, one week, one year. It was all the same. His sister wasn't going to be there. That was going to be too obvious. Each time he'd turn, he was going to see Eddie. Who the fuck was Eddie anyway? He looked nice, but he wasn't Joey. And he wanted her.

- "Gerard should be here any minute so we can rehearse a little bit"- Ray said and smiled at the new drummer, sipping his third cup of coffee, trying to fight the hangover he had from partying until four in the morning with his friends the night before.

- "And why are you leaving?"- Eddie asked Joey, who kept walking around the stage with Mikey and Frank, laughing at their silly jokes.

- "Because I'm pregnant."

- "Congratulations!"

- "Thank you very much! and after a long talk with my... should I start calling Matthew my husband already?"- the girl asked Iero, and he shook his head.

- "Not until there's a ring on that finger, sista!"- and Joey just laughed.

- "Ok, my boyfriend and I talked about it, and we decided it was better to slow things down, go back home and take care of our baby. So, it is time to pass the torch to you, but I have to warn you, it's not gonna be easy."

Eddie chuckled nervously. Was Joey joking? Was she for real? Nah, she had to be joking. Right?

- "What do you mean it won't be easy? we are the nicest guys on earth!"- Frank turned to her, looking insulted.

- "I was talking about all the dates you've got ahead. It's a tight schedule, you know that."

- "Oh, yeah, that's true"- Iero nodded, and Joey chuckled.

- "You know I'm gonna miss you, Jersey"- the girl wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek several times. That was the scene Gerard saw first as soon as he walked over the stage.

- "Hey!"- Ray caught his eyes and walked over with a friendly smile- "I'm glad you are here. This is Eddie!"

- "Nice to meet you"- the new drummer shook his hand and did his best to cause a good first impression. Which he probably would have done if Gerard had been actually paying attention to him. Which he wasn't. Because he was looking over Joey. And Joey was making her best not to look at him. And failing in the process.

They hadn't talked in weeks. She had successfully avoided him ever since Gerard had shown up in her room and fought with Matthew.

The girl could feel his eyes burning on her skin as she stood next to Frank and Mikey. She just couldn't help it. She looked at the singer. And it felt like a void in the middle of her chest. The way his eyes locked in hers. It saddened her to think how everything had ended between them: as bad as it had started, she guessed. Maybe they were never meant to be friends after all.

Mikey scowled as he stared at Gerard from a distance. His hand tightened around Joey's shoulder, and she moved a little closer to him. The singer still scared her, that was a fact. But the thought of having only twelve hours left close to him made her feel better. The fact that Mikey, Ray, and Frank were right there beside her made it more bearable.

- "Hi"- Gerard whispered and ignored his friends and brother. His eyes couldn't and wouldn't let Joey's.

- "Hello"- she replied and cleared her throat.

- "You didn't tell me you were leaving."

- "Yes, that was the plan."

Her voice was calmed, yet severe enough to let Way know her anger hadn't toned down with time. He just nodded and looked around at Frank and Mikey, who stayed with the girl, as a shield.

- "Can you let us talk for a minute on our own, please?"

- "No"- Iero crossed his arms on his chest as Mikey frowned at his brother

- "I don't trust you around her anymore. You always end up doing..."- but the bassist couldn't finish talking.

- "Guys, my wife is about to get here. I am not going to do anything sick. I just want to talk to her... if she is ok with it"- Gerard never took his eyes from Joey, and she kept avoiding him no matter what. It was getting harder and harder with every minute.

- "I'll scream if you do anything stupid"- she warned and turned to Frank and Mikey- "Thank you, kids."

The two of them narrowed their eyes as they walked away, leaving Gerard and Joey on their own for the first time in weeks.

- "Where's Matthew?"- he whispered, not able to stop staring at her. He knew he wouldn't have many more chances to do it, and he needed to soak it all in.

- "With Jamia, she had to run some errands, and he had to take our bags to the airport"- she looked around just to avoid him- "And Lynz?"

- "She was making some phone calls in the dressing room"- and she just nodded- "Why didn't you tell me?"

- "I didn't want to tell you"- she didn't even elaborate on the answer. It was just what it was.

- "I know we are not friends... and, shit! I know I fucked things between us more than once, but..."

- "Please don't tell me you love me or anything like that"- she narrowed her eyes and turned around for a second.

- "No, I won't tell you that again, though you know that's still the way I feel about you"- his voice was sad and tired. Disappointed and filled with regret.

- "I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry."

But Joey didn't reply. She didn't really know how to answer that. So what? he was sorry. Big deal. He had said that before, and shit had ended up worse. His words didn't have any value. She didn't believe him anymore.

- "That's ok, Gerard. You don't have to apologize"- the drummer sighed and looked at him- "Shit didn't work out, and I guess we both made some big mistakes... and in the end, we messed it up way too deep to fix it."

- "I am really sorry"- she could tell he was honest, his eyes were tearing up as he spoke- "I just never thought... I wasn't expecting things to..."

He couldn't really elaborate a coherent line 'cos he was deep in regret and lost in her eyes.

- "I never thought I was gonna fall for you this way, and I never thought I was gonna turn into this asshole... I don't recognize myself. I don't know the Gerard who hurt you, the one that keeps chasing you... the one that"- he made a pause as shame overtook his face- "That nearly abused you."

- "You know, let's forget about all the shit, ok?"- Joey tried to cut him a short smile and nodded- "It's my last day. I just want to have a calm and nice show, hug my friends and take with me all the good moments and leave the bad ones behind, ok?"- and Gerard simply sighed.

- "Am I one of the bad moments you want to leave behind?"- he was, but for some weird reason, the girl simply denied it.

- "No. Before all the shit happened, we had some nice moments, like Halloween movies. The day you tried to help me with my song, and I never let you, or..."- the drummer made a pause, trying to think of another nice moment she shared with the singer- "The day you scold your fans for bashing me online... "

Gerard smiled at those memories, though it bittered him to realize that was it. They didn't share many other friendly and fun moments together. And it was all thanks to his cock.

- "Thank you for that"- he smiled and sighed- "It makes me feel a little better knowing you can carry some nice memories of me."

Joey didn't know what else to say, but she could tell at a certain point that Gerard would try to hug her, and she just didn't go through that. Lucky for her, Ray looked at her and noticed she was feeling awkward. So he saved her.

- "Ok, guys, ready to rehearse for a little bit?"

- "How are you planning to keep this a secret from your wife?"- Jamia asked Matthew as they walked out of the postal office after shipping a package to Los Angeles. They only had one last thing to do: drop the couple's bags at the airport.

- "I sent them to my best friend's house, and she will keep them hidden until it's the right time"- he simply answered and cut Jamia a big smile.

- "Ok... I hope it works."

- "It better does."

- "So? excited to leave tonight?"

- "Fuck yeah!"- he was a little too enthusiastic with his answer, making J frown- "No! not that I don't love being with you and Frank in your house, it's just that... the sooner we leave, the sooner we married and you have to believe me when I tell you, at a certain point I thought his was never gonna happen"- but Mrs. Iero just chuckled and nodded.

- "I get the feeling. After Frank proposed, I had to wait until their tour was over to finally plan and celebrate our wedding. It felt like it took forever."

- "Aren't we cheesy?"- he asked and chuckled- "Talking about how excited we are about our weddings."

- "I think it's cool. Frank was excited too."

- "I am thrilled."

- "See?"- Jamia opened the car's door and put Lily in, and then Cherry, on their seats- "That means you love your bride and that you are happy to make her your wife."

- "I never thought I'd feel like this."

Matthew Gray made a pause as he sat at the passenger chair in Jamia's car and remembered his kid self. He was bullied every single day in school. He had to grow tougher because of it. Sure, the whole process taught him to love who he was, embracing his personality though people found him weird. He understood at a young age that being different was what made him special. Being odd was being awesome.

But that didn't stop him from feeling alone. He was happy with his friends, with his family. With himself. Every once in a while, Matthew wondered if he would ever find someone who would love him for who he really was. Someone who was not going to try to change him. He dreamt of finding a girl that he could make laugh every day. When he hit puberty, he even made a list of the features his perfect girl had to have. He wasn't really shooting for the stars. He just wanted someone who could understand him. She had to love decorating the house of the holidays, mischiefs, kissing in cars, tolerate whistling, tickling torture, James Taylor, and sleeping late. She had to love Halloween as much as he did. A girl who would give him butterfly kisses in the morning, peanut butter sandwiches shaped like hearts for picnics. A girl that he could make smile until her cheeks hurt.

He had thought he had gotten that girl before a couple of times. But it never felt entirely right. It wasn't real love until that first cup of coffee with Joey. Something clicked inside of him that told him: this is it, go for it. And the feeling in his guts had been right.

- "Fuck"- he said to himself, though Jamia heard him clearly- "I am one corny mother fucker."

- "Not really breaking news, Gubler. Eighteen love banners confirm your theory."

There was nothing on earth that could cheer Mikey Way that day. Nothing. Joey had tried pretty much every trick under her sleeve. Even Matthew Gray was worried for Mikey and decided to stay away from them that day, giving them space to enjoy their last moments touring together.

Ray, Joey, Mikey, and Frank had lunch together and walked to the closest Starbucks afterward to get a nice cup of coffee. Mikey was still pretty serious.

- "Come on, bróðir! We are seeing each other in two days! stop it!"- Joey frowned as she caught him pouting staring at her- "And you are fucking doomed 'cos you are helping me pack my whole apartment and move into my new house"- the bassist chuckled and nodded.

- "I'm just gonna pack the basses and the drumset. You are not pregnant enough to be completely useless."

- "Thank you so much!"- she joked and punched his arm- "I'll keep that in mind when you need me to save your fucking ass!"

- "When on earth have you ever saved my ass?"- Mikey frowned and turned to his friend, confused- "I am your fucking rock! you are just my little sister."

- "Who made out with a stripper to cheer you up? I did!"- she snapped and chuckled- "Who got drunk countless amounts of times to stop you from being drunk alone? I did! Who shared her blanket with you when you were cold watching movies? I fucking did! So don't give me the "I am your rock" shitty speech 'cos I, my dear brother, I am the girl that kept you alive for the last six months!"

And Mikey nodded in silence as Ray and Frank laughed about their silly argument.

- "You are the annoying little sister I never knew I needed"- he wrapped an arm around her and kissed her temple.

- "You are the older brother I always wanted."

- "And you two are the annoying, cheesy friends I never wanted to have"- Frank sentenced and made his friend beam right away- "I never thought I was gonna love you so much, Iceland. I really didn't want you in the band when I first met you."

- "I know, Jersey"- the four of them got into the van on their way back to the arena- "I'm so glad J has the hots for Matthew. She is the only reason you decided to give me a chance."

The guitarist blushed and shook his head, thinking the only time he had admitted his real reasons, Joey thought he was joking, and he decided to keep it that way.

- "Yeah... lucky you, you are gonna marry the one guy he has a crush on from a tv show."

- "Aren't you two worried they are alone and together today, the whole day?"- Ray asked, clearly joking. Frank and Joey looked at each other in silence for a few seconds, and then both of them shrugged at the same time.

- "With two babies"- Iero pointed out- "Believe me, no one gets any action with two babies."

- "Thanks, Jersey"- the girl rolled her eyes, and she scuffed.

- "Bug, fuck every single time you can while your Bean is still locked in there, 'cos as soon as it's out... you are fucking doomed."

- "Check that out"- the girl smiled and messed with Frank's hair- "You are talking about my vagina!"

- "Oh! shut up!"- he groaned and frowned- "Stop bringing the vag into the conversation!"

- "You started!"

- "Stop it!"

And Mikey and Ray just chuckled.

Yeah, touring was going to be a little more boring from now on. But they were going to adapt. Toro was sure of it. They had done it before, and they would do it again.

The good news of the afternoon was: Lynz had taken Gerard as far from the band as possible. And though it might sound awful, the guys were happy about it. It meant they could have fun, the four of them.

They decided to do the soundcheck earlier, which was a huge lie. They just wanted to play together and have fun. Videos were recorded, pictures were taken, and laughter was shared. Mikey felt he had successfully taught Joey how to play bass, and Joey thought she had failed horribly in teaching Mikey how to play drums. But only because he wasn't really taking it seriously. He just laughed the whole time, making her laugh as well.

That afternoon they jammed for a while and joked around, making the best of their time. That until Jeffrey showed up and smiled at them.

- "Doors are gonna open in half an hour, so... are you kids ready?"

- "Yeah"- the four of them said at the same time and chuckled, being actual kids.

- "Hello!!"- Jamia and Matthew walked over waving, each one holding a baby. Frank ran to them and held her daughters tight, taking them from their arms. Gubler didn't really mind. He wasn't paying much attention. He kept looking at his fiancée with the silliest grin he had ever held on his lips.

- "Hello Yami"- he whispered as he held her face carefully with both hands and kissed her lips softly.

- "Hello Akumu"- she answered and smiled, staring at him in simple adoration.

- "That I'm not gonna miss"- Mikey said, and Ray nodded

- "Yeah, they are too adorable."

- "Makes me wanna puke."

- "Shut up!"- Joey argued and hit both her friends- "You've got..."- the drummer took a look at her wristwatch and sighed, as the realization hit her- "Fuck, you've got four hours, and a show left with me, so you better enjoy it and stop whining, little bitches!"

The two guys pouted and sighed. Joey felt her comment had been maybe too mean, though it wasn't intended to be like that.

- "Did you guys have fun?"- Matthew asked, to end with the silence that hung amongst them.

- "Yeah! we played a lot, and Mikey let me use his signature Mustang."

- "Wow!"- Gubler looked at Way, and he nodded- "And she didn't drop it?"

- "Almost"- the bassist answered, and the girl shook her head. She wished he was joking, but he wasn't. She would always nearly break that bass; that's why Mikey would never let her use it.

- "Hey! That's ain't fair! your fucking bass has a thing against me"- the girl argued, narrowing her eyes right away as she turned to the guys- "I am not fucking clumsy!"

- "Ok, Yami. I know it's true"- Matthew kissed her forehead but looked at Mikey whispering, "No, it's not," making him laugh.

- "Don't make fucking fun of me!"- Joey argued, and her boyfriend looked at her with his most innocent glance.

- "I would never!"

- "Shut up!"- she quickly said and hit his tummy softly- "Don't lie to your future wife."

- "Yes, baby."

- "Guys! out of the stage!"- Jeffrey yelled.

- "So, what are we doing before the show?"- Frank asked, walking over with Jamia and the babies- "Do you just wanna hang out backstage?"

- "Yeah, I'm tired"- Ray said and looked at the other guys- "Do you want to do something?"

- "It's four fucking hours guys, why don't you go to the hotel? Yami looks like she needs a nap"- and just to make Matthews point, Joey yawned right away.

- "But I wanna be with you, you just got here"- she pouted and kissed his cheek.

- "I know Yami, but I'm gonna stay right there"- he said and pointed to the front row- "And you'll see me when you walk on the stage to play your last show"- the fact that he said it was her last show hurt everybody around him.

- "Matthew Gray, I already forgave you, and we are gonna get married in a week. Why are you still doing this? we could go back to the hotel and cuddle"- but he shook his head.

- "I'm doing this 'cos I swore to myself I was always going to be in the front row clapping you, no matter what. And I have the feeling you would enjoy an afternoon doing nothing with your friends."

The girl bit her lips and sighed. Not only Matthew was right, but he was actually encouraging her to spend time with her friends without him. Last year's Gubler wouldn't have done that.

- "You might be right about it."

- "I know I'm right about it, that's why I got you this"- the boy opened his backpack and held a video game.

- "Marvel vs Capcom?!"- Joey, Mikey, and Ray yelled at the very same time

- "I knew you were gonna like it"- Gubler smiled proudly- "I thought, "What did Yami like most of her friends when she first met them?" and that was playing video games with them, so I thought you guys could go back to the hotel, eat some of these babies right here"- Matthew held a bag of marshmallows that made his girlfriend smile like a child- "And play video games while I stay here and wait for the show to cheer you."

- "Marry me, Gubs"- Mikey said and held the game to take a closer look at it.

- "Sorry"- the actor chuckled and landed his hands on Joey's waist- "I'm already taken."

The band started making their way backstage and left the couple alone for a moment.

- "Thank you for being so awesome with me, Matthew Gray Gubler."

- "Thank you for being with me, Maria Josefina Sveinbjörndottir"- he kissed the top of her nose and smiled.

- "I haven't told you something"- she whispered and landed a little tiny peck on her lips

- "What is it, Yami?"

- "I'm not gonna be Sveinbjörndottir for much longer"- the fact Joey smiled when she delivered the news to her boyfriend made her feel incredibly good about her decision. And his reaction, how he widened his eyes and held her closer, made it even better.

- "You are gonna take my last name?"- he asked in disbelief.

- "Yes, I am."

The grin on Matthew's face was so bright, Joey felt it would actually overshadow the sun. He wrapped her tighter in his arms and kissed her. His lips moving softly upon hers, with such love and tenderness, her knees felt weak.

- "I love you, Mrs. Gubler."

- "I love you too, Mr. Gubler"- and they chuckled, staring at each other, lost in love.

- "So... can I start calling you that from now on?"- Joey pretended to be lost in thoughts and waited a few seconds to answer.

- "Nope."

- "Why not?"- he narrowed his brows and looked at her confused- "It sounds so good!"

- "'Cos it's a special nickname, you can continue using Yami for everyday."

- "And how should I call you when I'm crossed? Mrs. Gubler?"

- "No! you can only call me Mrs. Gubler when you are so fucking happy you might cry"- Joey made a pause and raised an eyebrow- "Why are we quoting Pride and Prejudice again?"- Matthew laughed and held her tighter.

- "Clearly, we have copyright issues in our lives."

Gerard could hear the laughter of his friends from the hotel hallway. How could they be so happy if he was so sad? Weren't they sad Joey was leaving? of course not. They were friends; they were still going to hang out with her. He was going to be the only one losing her.

The singer stood by the door of his brother's room and rested his head on it. He felt so silly. No, silly was not how he felt. He felt like the worst asshole on earth. Like scum. He thought he could just knock on the door and make his best to apologize again, trying to spend those last minutes with her. But he knew that ship had already sailed.

He had fucked it up for good.

Ray smiled and looked around the room. He was thankful Gubler had given them that game, but most of all, he was grateful to have that afternoon with his friends. Touring had turned into a job in the latest years, especially after The Black Parade. It felt some of the fun of making music had been taken from their daily basis. Those last months had been different, though, and he knew it was because having Joey there had shaken things up for all of them on many levels. None of them had a little sister in real life. Having her around had given them that experience. And it was fun.

Mikey tickled Joey until tears filled her eyes. He had won, and she had gotten mad, so she smacked the back of his head. Considering he couldn't wrestle her due to her pregnancy, Way used his secret weapon to finish the strain. Joey's giggles made him chuckle. He was going to miss messing around with her. He usually felt alone touring. More now that he was divorced and no one was waiting for him back home. Joey was someone he could hide into. And now, he was forced to face life on his own. It was a good thing for once. It didn't feel like something so scary.

- "Hey! watch out with my godson!"- Frank frowned and stopped Mikey- "Don't shake her too much! she is pregnant!"

- "My godson!"- Way corrected him and punched his arm.

- "My fucking godson!"- Iero punched him back.

- "I still haven't decided, you know"- Joey lied, she knew it was going to be Mikey- "And arguing won't help either of you, dad has the godfather material"- and Toro smiled, pleased.

- "Thank you, Bug, it would be an honor."

- "She still hasn't decided yet"- Frank added- "Right, Bug? I still have a chance"- and the girl chuckled.

- "Yes, Jersey. You still have a chance."

Iero was sad. Honestly sad. He had forgiven Gubler, though it had taken some time. Seeing Joey happy helped. And he had enjoyed the last month more than he cared to admit. It felt like a gang was born. But he felt bad for Gerard 'cos they had left him behind. Honestly bad, and sorry, and still kind of mad. He knew Way had fucked it up, and he knew there was no way shit could ever be normal around them if Joey was there too. But he wished it was.

Ray felt the same, and so did Mikey. Still, neither of them would actually try to force it. Not even that. Neither of them actually wanted Gerard close to the drummer. Not after what he had done. If he had a simple crush on her, or even if he claimed to love her as he did but never actually touched her against her will, everything would be different. But he did. He crossed the line. There was no way to undo that.

Jamia knocked on Mikey's door around six-thirty. She had also left her husband to enjoy his afternoon with his friends, and she had a long nap with the babies. But now it was time to play a show, and as heartbreaking as it was, they had to leave for the arena.

When she walked into the room, she found a bunch of kids fuelled with sugar, playing video games, and hitting each other. It was a kindergarten, not a band hanging out before a show. She chuckled and asked them for a picture. The guys posed for many pictures, chuckling. Iero held his kids in the air simultaneously as the rest of the guys pretended to eat them. A typical day with friends.

The drive to the arena was a little quieter, though, reality sinking in as they got closer and closer to the final show. Joey tried to make jokes, and Frank tried to follow along, but Mikey's sad eyes overshadowed anything. He couldn't pretend things weren't bothering him. He was sad.

- "Hey, have you planned my bachelorette party already?"- Joey turned to Jamia and winked- "I am expecting that event at its fullest"- and of course, Mrs. Iero grinned and clapped and was overjoyed.

- "Your bachelorette party is already planned, but... you don't have many girlfriends."

- "You seem to be shocked, J"- Joey frowned and chuckled- "I've told you a hundredth time I don't have female friends, just you and Tabitha, which is why we are inviting Matthew's friends to join us."

- "Yeah... your friend Tabitha is already confirmed, and"- Jamia made a pause, unsure of Joey's reaction to her words- "Your mom wanted to tag along..."

The drummer raised an eyebrow, and Frank chortled immediately.

- "Hey!"- the soon-to-be mom threw her friend an empty packet of gummy bears- "You met my mom! that woman parties harder than I do!"

- "I know! I saw her! she's on fire!"

- "Watch it!"- Jamia gave him a dirty look- "You talked way too much about how hot Joey's mom is after we left her house!"

- "He did what?!"- and now Joey was in shock.

- "He did! they all did!"- Jamia rat the whole band out and nodded as her friend stared at her in shock.

- "I can't believe it."

- "They said she is a total milf"- and Mrs. Iero wasn't lying. None of them admitted not then, not ever, but they all thought her mom was hot.

- "You are gross!!!"- and still, none of them said a single word.

- "So, we've got mother and friends for the first part, and just party beast for the after-party, Tabitha, your mom, Paget, A.J, Laura, Kristen, and me... your bachelorette party gang."

- "Sounds like a fun bunch"- Joey smiled, surprised to find herself so excited about her party- "Look at you, excited to do girly shit" You better get drunk and amuse me, 'cos being the sober bride won't be fun."

- "Oh, Jojo! We are gonna have a blast! no matter how sober you are going to stay!"

- "And we are gonna be with Gubler at his party, so... if you get bored of the chicks, you can always come with the dudes"- Frank winked and felt his wife smacking his head- "Auch!"- he rubbed his sore skin and turned to his wife- "Can you stop doing that?"

- "Can you stop being a pig?"

- "Clearly, the answer is no"- he said and chuckled.

- "Then you know my answer too, Paco."

- "You know, kids"- Joey interrupted that silly argument and smiled- "I'll call my relationship a success if in ten years Gub and I are as happy as you are today"- and the Ieros stared at her in silence for a minute- "You really love at each other every single fucking day, even if you are driving each other crazy."

- "You know honey, you two are the same"- Jamia answered with a warm smile- "You have nothing to worry about."

Joey blushed and smiled at her friend. If there was one thing she would never get tired of thanking, it was getting to meet Jamia while working with MCR.

Mikey held Joey's hand as soon as they walked out of the van until they reached backstage. They signed some autographs, took pictures with kids, but he never left her side. Mikey never even cared if anyone would ever think he was in love with her, 'cos he was way beyond any of that crap. He loved his friend. Period.

- "You know, Michael James, you are gonna see me in two days"- Joey teased him as he elbowed him softly.

- "Yes, I know, but... it's our last show, Bug. Let me be fucking emotional"- the bassist answered as they walked to the dressing room, still hand in hand.

- "We can start our own band"- the girl answered with a huge grin- "We can be the... The Buggers"- and Mikey laughed immediately.

- "Worst name ever!!"- he shouted, still cracking up.

- "Fuck you!"- she hit his arms and pretended to be insulted- "You wouldn't come with a better name!"

- "I came up with My Chemical Romance!"- he snorted- "You will never top that!"

- "The Buggers it's just as good at that!! prove me wrong!"

- "Ray!"- Mikey shouted- "Do you think "The Buggers" is a good band name?"

- "Fuck yeah!"- Toro answered, overhearing the whole conversation- "It's the name of a band I would like to be part of."

- "You are in, dad! bróðir is out!"

- "Oh! shut up!"- Way messed with the girl's hair and opened the dressing room door. The laughter was over in a second, as they found Worm, Lynz, Jeffrey, and Gerard in there. It was too evident that everybody shut up the second they saw the singer, and neither knew how to pretend. So they didn't. They just walked in and nodded.

- "Hello!"- Lynz waved and greeted everybody with a warm smile. She wasn't really good at hiding the fact she was thrilled Joey was leaving.

- "How is your last day going?"- she had to point out it was her last day as much as she could.

- "It's going pretty good"- the drummer answered and left her backpack on a chair- "Lots of video games, candies, and cuddles."

Joey hugged Mikey, and he held her tight. Lynz kept notes to tell Alicia how physical those two were, even when she was back with Matthew. There was no doubt in her head whatsoever that those two were onto something.

- "I'm glad you are enjoying your time"- Mrs. Way wasn't even faking it anymore. And Joey knew it.

- "Excuse me, I'm gonna see how Gubs is doing in the audience"- the girl grabbed her phone and left.

- "I'll go with you"- Jamia said and left the babies with Frank. An awkward silence hung in the room as soon as they were gone.

- "Very subtle, Lynz"- Mikey said and grabbed a bottle of water- "No one could ever tell you are dying to see her out of here."

- "Hey! it's not like that!"- even Gerard looked at her, incredulously- "I mean... she doesn't want to be here... and she has to take care of her baby... it's not my God damn fault you are all so fucking in love with her."

Mikey snorted and looked at his sister-in-law with what could only be described as pure and undeniable hate.

- "You have no fucking idea what you are talking about Lynz. You are so fucking lost in this conversation it actually hurts."

Way made a pause, and his brother's heart stopped. Was he going to sell him out?

- "But honestly, I don't give a shit what you think about our feelings towards our friend. Just be nice to her for the next four hours."

And after delivering those lines, Mikey walked out of the room to smoke outside, alone.

- "Are you ok?"- Joey texted as she looked at Gubler, who was staring at his phone, as he stood, like a champ, at the front row of their last My Chemical Romance concert.

- "I'm hungry"- he smiled as he wrote back and looked over the stage, trying to find his girl, 'cos he knew she was there somewhere- "Do you think I can get a pizza delivered here?"- and she chuckled

- "I've got cashews. Do you want some?"

- "Please!!"

- "Ok, just give me a second"- she was going back to the dressing room to get her backpack, but she stopped and texted- "How many fans have gotten pictures of your banner today?"

- "Zero"- Joey chuckled and quickly typed

- "I don't buy it."

- "Check on Twitter. I'm very discreet today."

Even when Joey was going to marry him in a week, she felt Matthew was like her high school crush. The guy that could give her butterflies in the stomach just with one simple smile.

- "Is it a special banner?"- Joey texted and bit her lower lip.

- "I don't know. You are gonna have to wait and see."- he replied, and she chuckled.

- "Can you stop being a teenager?"- Jamia said and made the girl jump

- "Shit! don't walk into a pregnant woman like that!"

- "Oh, come on, don't get all whiny, and stop playing the pregnant card all the time."

- "Fuck you! You taught me!"- the drummer smiled and rested her head on Jamia's shoulder as she kept staring at Matthew. Having him near really made things easier for her, especially on a day like that.

- "Lynz was a bitch, wasn't she?"- J whispered, and Joey nodded.

- "Yeah, I would typically smash her head against the wall or break her nose... but she has a point."

- "Point?"

- "To hate me... did I ever tell you she asked me once if Gerard had ever tried to make his move on me?"- Jamia moved and looked at her friend's eyes wide open.

- "You are fucking joking."

- "No! hell no! Back in London, way before any of the awful shit ever happened. She walked to my room and asked if Gerard had tried to cross the line with me, and, of course, I told her he hadn't. Which was true. And she asked me to tell her if he ever did..."

- "It's a good thing she has no idea what happened. What would be the use of knowing?"- Joey shrugged and sighed.

- "I know... I'm sure she hates me"

- "She actually thinks Mikey is in love with you, she told me yesterday."

- "I'm not surprised. I bet she and Alicia talk about me all the time."

- "Do you honestly care?"- the drummer thought about it for a minute and turned to her friend

- "I don't. I've learned to discard those kinds of toxic people from my life, and if I don't have to see her ever again after this show, I don't even want to bother talking or even thinking about her."

Jamia nodded and held her friend's arm around hers, inviting her to walk around backstage.

- "I'm glad we are friends."

- "Iero, are you going to cry again? We all cried last night. I don't wanna ruin my makeup before the show"- and Jamia chuckled.

- "No, I'm not gonna cry 'cos I know I'm gonna see you in like five days, and we are gonna have so much fucking fun it's gonna be a crime!"

Joey laughed at those words, honestly excited to know her friend was gonna help her with the final details of her wedding.

- "Is Shemar going to be there, by the way?"

- "Jamia fucking Iero! stop flirting with the whole cast of Criminal Minds for the love of God!"- Joey burst out laughing as Jamia covered her face with both hands and chuckled.

- "I'm not gonna flirt! I just wanna be prepared to admire those muscles from a safe distance."

- "Oh, come on! don't bullshit a bullshitter!"

- "Fine! then tell me"- Jamia was actually blushing- "Is he as hot in real life as in the show?"- and Joey couldn't help but giggle.

- "Woman, he is hotter! Those fucking arms, when he hugs you, I swear you feel you are melting underneath the muscles."

- "I need him to hug me!"

- "I'll force him. You are gonna love it. Now let me get my hot awesome boyfriend something to eat before he faints in the crowd."

- "And nobody wants that. He might get hurt again"- Jamia answered and giggled.

- "Stop having the hots for my husband!"- Joey answered and hit her arm softly, but the two of them just laughed as they walked.

Last warm-up, last high five before walking out to the stage. Joey was doing her best not to show her emotions. She needed to stay calm to enjoy the moment. She wanted to enjoy that night. It was the last time she was going to hug her friends before getting wired up with mics. Last time watching Mikey jump on his spot, getting ready to play. Last time watching Ray walk around with a bottle of beer, making sure everybody is ok to play. The last time watching Frank set the pictures of his kids on the amplifier closer to him on stage. Last time hearing Gerard vocalize and eat honey for half an hour.

Last fucking show.

Mikey held Joey's hand as they stood by the stage and kissed it. She looked at him with a warm smile and whispered "Thank you" before they walked out. It wasn't the shrieking from the fans that gave Joey the goosebumps. It was everything. She sat behind the drums and shivered. It was the last time she was ever going to do that. She had to do it right, not crying, not sad. It was a happy moment, she had enjoyed her time with the band, and now it was time to move on. She wanted to leave happy, not miserable.

The lights were still off as "Look Alive Sunshine" started, and the crowd went crazy. Joey began to play after taking a deep breath. That was it. She was playing her last show.

Mikey wouldn't move from the drums. He kept playing right there by her side, and she wouldn't stop smiling at him as she sang the songs. That would always put a massive grin on his face. That day wasn't the exception. Ray would jump around like a bunny (Joey would always tell him he looked like a bunny when he jumped) and tried to do his best to enjoy the moment. Just like Joey, he wanted to make that show a happy moment they could remember, and not a sad, miserable one.

Gerard wasn't succeeding at that, though. He was agonizing, and even when his singing was at his best, and he kept giving all in the performance, Lynz could tell he was making his best not to cry. It was crystal clear to her.

Matthew stared at Joey with the biggest smile on his face. When he bought the 18 tickets to follow her on that leg of the tour, to get her back, he never thought the wild ride that was gonna be. Sure, he knew it wasn't going to be easy, and he knew the guys in the band were gonna hate him. But he never imagined what had happened between his girlfriend and Gerard. He never imagined what she had gone through on her own, and he was glad that, at least in a way, he was able to help her overcome the darkness that had grown around her.

He was happy that day because he would take her home, to a place where Matthew knew he was going to take care of her forever. A place he had created to make her happy every day for the rest of their life. Thinking about living together in their house made him the happiest man on earth. His smile couldn't lie. And so he opened the banner he had made for that last show. It was the simplest, though one of the most meaningful for him. He raised in the air and smiled at his Yami. It only took the girl a minute to see it, and her smile was brighter than the sun. Right in front of her stood a man who loved her, carrying a banner that read, "I love you, Mrs. Gubler." So simple, and yet, so true. He loved her. There was nothing left to say after the previous 17 banners but the honest truth.

At a certain point in the last month, Gerard had realized there was no way he could hate Matthew even more. That until he saw that banner. "Mrs. Gubler." That was what caught his attention.

"We could be perfect one last night

And die like star-crossed lovers when we fight

And we can settle this affair

If you would shed your yellow take my hand."

Way sang and kept his eyes on Joey for a minute. She played with a warm smile and melted his heart.

- "Fuck, I'm gonna miss you,"- he thought and turned to the crows, knowing his wife was following his movements closely. A part of him didn't give a shit, though. It was his last time, their last show.

But Matthew's face was ruining it all for him. Just the sight of Gubler with that stupid banner was driving him insane. His whole body was asking him to jump off the stage right on him and fuck him up. He could see it clearly.

- "Mother fucker!!"- he could jump and land right upon him, to start punching him, right on the jaw, the nose. Matthew wouldn't stand a chance. He could crush him. He wanted to crush him, right there, in front of everybody. But what would Lynz say?

- "She has no idea what's going on with me, and she might never know"- Gerard closed his eyes for a second and continued singing.

No, his wife could never know what had happened, and everything was going to go back to normal in a few weeks like Joey had never existed. Gerard could do that. Forget her. Go on with his life. It wasn't that hard. He was going to learn how to deal with the pain, he wasn't going to cry. Not even a little bit.

"If that's the best that I could be?

than I'd be another memory

can I be the only hope for you?

because you're the only hope for me

and if we can't find where we belong

we'll have to make it on our own

face all the pain and take it on

because the only hope for me is you alone."

No, Gerard wasn't going to cry, no matter how hard it got during the whole show. Mikey wasn't that lucky, though. He looked at Joey, and his chin quivered. He actually felt that for the last months, she had been the only hope for him. And somehow, he knew he had been the only hope for her at a certain point of the tour as well. And that made him happy. He had been a good friend to her when she needed him. Not everybody gets the chance to replay the kindness someone has given them, and he was glad he had the opportunity to do it.

Mikey could feel his heart breaking with every chord he played. Still, he was overjoyed his sister was going to be happy taking care of his godson. He knew he was going to be the chosen godfather, Gubler had already told him the night before while they were drunk and slightly emotional, crying with Ray and Frank.

Way didn't even imagine he could love a woman as much as he loved Joey, not being in love with her. He had never felt that way before, and he was glad he had never done it before, 'cos his sister was too special to be compared with anyone he had ever met.

Lynz wanted to cry 'cos he knew what was going on inside Gerard's head with every single minute of that concert. He couldn't hide it, even if he actually tried his best. He couldn't even try to hide it. He was broken-hearted. Every time he looked at Joey, she could see how much it hurt him. His heart aching in his chest.

- "He fucking loves her!"

The revelation hurt Lynz on so many levels she found it hard just staying on her feet. She had never seen his husband look at anyone the way he was staring at Joey. And the fact she wasn't even acquainted with his existence made her wonder: what had happened between them to keep them so apart from each other?

The only thing that gave her a tiny piece of calm was the indifference Joey showed to her husband. It was clear she didn't share the feelings Gerard had. But still, Lynz wasn't sure. Had Gerard tried anything with her? had he been suffering in silence? Did the band know? Was the drummer leaving because of him? what had happened between them?

The band stood at one side of the stage, waiting for the encore. The crowd was on fire, and the guys were wary. Mikey held Joey tight, his arms around her like he was keeping her pieces together. She rested her head on his chest and smiled.

- "You stink"- and he smiled, messing with her hair.

- "You don't smell like roses either, Bug"

- "Fuck you"- and her laughter was music to his ears- "Just two more left, bróðir, let's make them the best, ok?"- Mikey nodded and smiled- "And Monday, lunch is on me 'cos I'll need your strength to pack my whole house"- the bassist chuckled.

- "Burgers?"

- "Whatever you want, brother"- her grin made her eyes sparkle, and Gerard's heartache.

- "Ok, come on"- the singer said and walked back out to the stage. And the rest of the band followed.

- "Having fun, Bug?"- Frank asked and winked.

- "Very much, Jersey!"- she answered and stuck out her tongue to him. He loved to play with her, but he loved her more, and he knew she needed to take off.

- "Give me all your fucking money!!-" Gerard yelled on the mic, and the song started. The whole band loved that song 'cos it was so fun to play live. Ray started jumping the second he heard the drums.

- "Are you ready, Ray?!"- Gerard shouted

- "Yeah!"

- "How about you, Frank?"- Mikey and Frank looked at each other right away. Gerard had... ignored Joey. For the first time in... what it felt to be years.

- "W..."- Frank turned to the singer and didn't even answer.

- "How about you, Mikey?"- Gerard turned to his side and didn't find his brother- "Well, I think I'm alright, one, two, three, four!"

The whole band shook their heads and continued playing. If Gerard wanted to act like a brat, it was his own problem, and none of them was even going to worry about it. And it felt like that on stage. Gerard had never felt more alone playing a show with his friends.

Matthew looked at Joey with a worried glance, though she kept smiling at him while she played the last two songs on the set. He sent kisses to her, and she blushed. At least he was there for her. That made the two of them feel better. They were together, and it felt right. Like whatever happened, it wouldn't be so bad, 'cos they were in it together.

- "Goodnight, New York!"- Gerard shouted at the mic and stormed out of the stage. Joey looked at Ray, then at Mikey and at Frank. The three of them smiled at her. The bassist walked over and held her hand as she got down the drum with watered-up eyes.

- "Don't let that dick ruin your moment"- he whispered and kissed her temple. He really didn't care if any kid in the audience got the wrong idea of that moment.

- "I won't, I swear"- the girl smiled and looked at Ray, who was throwing his picks at the kids. Frank smiled at her and hugged her tight.

- "Are you giving those away?"- he asked, intimating the drumstick she was holding.

- "Nope, these are special. Wanna sign them?"

- "Are you asking for an autograph, Bug?"- Iero chuckled and held her tighter. They all waved to the audience and stayed still for a second, letting Joey enjoy her last minute in front of the crowd. Her eyes watered up as she smiled, looking at Matthew, who mouthed "I love you," waved one last time, and walked off the stage.

It was over.

She was no longer My Chemical Romance's drummer. She wasn't touring with her friends anymore.

Lynz followed Gerard to the dressing room and made her best to cool her head down. It wasn't really working after six months of doubt.

- "Are you ok?"- she asked her husband as soon as they stood in the room alone. The rest of the band wasn't even close yet.

- "Yes, just tired"

- "Doesn't look like it."

- "What does it look like, baby?"- Way wasn't even looking at his wife. She took that as a sign of an evasive attitude and sighed.

- "It looks like you are broken-hearted, Gerard"- and he closed his eyes, still making sure his wife didn't get a glimpse of his face.

- "What?"

- "You know what I mean"

- "I sure do not"

- "You love her"

- "What the fuck are you talking about?"- Way wanted to sound as convincing as possible, but he failed. Lynz walked around the room, praying no one would walk in that second, and at the same time, hoping someone would interrupt them, 'cos she was regretting ever starting that conversation in the first place.

- "You are broken-hearted 'cos Joey is leaving, 'cos you are in love with her, Gerard"- the young woman whispered and stood still, looking at her husband turning slowly to her.

- "Why are you saying that?"

- "'Cos you are way too obvious, Gerard, I know you"- the singer held his breath for a few seconds and shook his head.

- "No baby, I'm not broken-hearted, I'm just..."- but Way couldn't even finish, the door opened, and the rest of the gang walked into the room, laughing- "Why are they fucking laughing?! why are they so fucking happy?"

- "That was a fantastic goodbye show, Bug"- Ray wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up carefully- "Are you late for your flight?"

- "No, just on time"- Lynz and Gerard stared at the scene. Neither saying a word.

- "She is leaving right now?"- he thought and narrowed his eyes- "That's a very subtle way of telling everybody she couldn't take spending another second close to me."

- "You are leaving right away?"- his wife's words made Gerard swipe his head in shock. What the fuck was she going to say? what was she going to do?

- "Yeah, we have a flight tonight to Vegas"- Joey answered with a massive smile as she grabbed her backpack and looked for some dry clothes to change into.

- "It's all a little rushed, don't you think?"- Mrs. Way questioned, and Mikey knew exactly where that conversation was going- "Like, you are running away from something, or from someone."

Everybody stopped in their tracks as they heard those words. Joey stayed still, staring at Lynz. Under any other circumstances, she would have felt bad or guilty. Even embarrassed. But not anymore. She was fed up with that sick situation. And she just wanted to leave.

- "Don't worry, Lynz, I'm not running away. I'm just anxious 'cos when you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible"- she answered, quoting "When Harry met Sally."

- "You could have waited for the morning to travel..."- her tone of voice was so cynical, Gerard was stressed and embarrassed.

- "We could have, but we didn't want to"- it was the drummer's simple answer- "Besides, we have a busy week ahead, and..."- Joey made a pause and looked at Lynz with a funny smile- "And I have no idea why I'm explaining myself to you. I don't have to do that. So please excuse me"

And the girl left to the bathroom to change her clothes, leaving Lynz clenching her teeth in anger.

Frank turned to Mikey and asked him any random thought that crossed his mind that second, in a desperate attempt to ease the mood. Ray looked at Gerard and noticed how badly he was avoiding any eye contact with pretty much everybody. Lynz was mad. That was clear. But she wasn't mad at Joey, though that was what everybody thought at the minute. She was mad at Gerard.

- "I don't know what you are trying to do"- her husband whispered in her ear- "But please don't ruin the last minutes she has with us in the band, we can talk about whatever you want to talk about back at the hotel"- Lynz turned to him and raised an eyebrow.

- "Maybe it's her I want to talk with, not you"- she simply replied and walked to the other side of the room, where Joey had left all her bags. It was clear shit wasn't going to end up well that night for Gerard Way.

Joey wasn't going to let anyone ruin her moment with her friends. No fucking one.

Matthew knocked on the backstage door and high-fived Mikey, Ray, and Frank. Then, he proceeded to hug them with such emotion, the musicians couldn't help but hug him tighter. They sucked at those moments, so saying nothing felt a little better than getting all awkward, which they knew was gonna happen anyway.

- "Great show!"- he said and waved at Gerard and Lynz. At that point, it was useless to pretend he and the singer were close or friends. Or even at good terms. Jamia kept her arms around his waist as they kept talking, dealing with the fact she was not getting over her crush, ever.

- "See you guys Monday, right? dinner and shit?"- Mikey asked, tapping on Gubler's back.

- "Yeah! we need your help packing."

- "Bug already blackmailed me with burgers."

- "Awesome! I was gonna pay you, but food seems like a much better choice"- the gang chuckled- "And when are you getting there?"- the actor asked, making sure none of the Way's would listen.

- "Thursday morning, bachelor party day!"- Frank was excited, and by the way he shouted those last words, even Gerard heard their plan. Lynz looked at him with the corner of her eyes, making sure he wouldn't notice, just to see how sad his eyes were stuck at his feet.

- "That's our bachelorette party night too"- Jamia added and smiled- "Your friend Paget has been texting me, and we've got everything ready for the bride"- Matthew wide smiled and kissed the top of Mrs. Iero's head.

- "Thank you so fucking much, J!"

- "Ok, hands off my wife"- Frank moved and separated them, though he was chuckling- "Not 'cos I don't trust you Gubler, but because I don't trust her"- the actor blushed. Jamia hit Frank's arm with her fist, not rather softly, 'cos he whined in pain.

- "Bring me the hugs, bitches!!"- Joey yelled as she walked out of the bathroom and ran to her friends- "I love you so much!"- Frank, Mikey, and Ray hugged her pretty much at the same time, as Matthew and Jamia took some pictures of the gang.

- "I love you so fucking much, Bug"- Toro kept the woman in his arms and kissed her cheek several times.

- "I love you more, dad. It was an honor to play and tour with you all these months"- she sighed and looked at the guitarist- "With all of you"- and with her eyes, she even included Gerard, 'cos she turned to him and cut him a short smile, in one last small attempt to make things a little less weird.

- "Kid, it was our honor"- Frank said and made a mess of her hair- "We had the time of our lives"- the girl smiled wide and started singing.

- "Now I've had the time of my life, no, I never felt like this before."

- "Please, don't sing"- Frank covered her mouth with his hands, and she struggled to let go while she laughed.

- "Your hands smell like cheese!! Gross!!"- she made a pause and kept laughing for a second- "Please, be friendly with Eddie, the kid deserves a chance"- Ray's arms were still around Joey as she spoke- "I'm talking to you, Michael James!"

- "Hey! I'll be nice!"

- "You barely talked to him today"

- "'Cos I was busy enjoying my time with my little sister"- his quick answer made the girl chuckle, and she moved from Ray's to Mikey's arms, burying her face on his chest.

- "You smell so fucking bad"

- "And you love me no matter what."

- "Yes, bróðir, I do..."- Joey sighed and looked at her brother- "See you Monday?"- he nodded and kissed her forehead.

- "I'll bring the beers. I pack houses better when I'm drunk."

- "I'll have burgers and empty boxes waiting for you"- she grinned and hid her face in his chest one more time.

- "And I'll be at work, so you are gonna have to take care of Yami"- Matthew Gray interrupted and looked at Mikey- "So it's your job to keep her from doing anything too risky, we've got an appointment with the doctor Wednesday"- he knew the bassist was having a hard time, and Gubler needed to make him feel better, even a little bit.

- "I'll be in brother dutty full time"- Way answered with a huge grin.

- "Ok, kids, it's time for us to leave. We've got a plane to catch and in-laws to visit"- Joey let Mikey go for a second and chuckled- "Can you believe we are just telling his parents now about the baby?"

- "Yes, I can"- Ray frowned at the drummer- "Basically, 'cos you've told us about how excited you are to tell them for the last two weeks, so get over with it already!"

- "Sorry!"

Joey laughed and rubbed her hands against her face. She didn't want to cry. She wanted to leave with a smile, remembering the amazing friends she had won during that tour, instead of the deep sadness that leaving meant.

- "It feels like the end of summer camp"- Frank chuckled and wiped off the tears that were already flooding his eyes- "Get out of here already. We'll see you in three days, ok?"- Joey nodded and hugged Iero.

- "I love you so fucking much, Jersey!"

- "I love you too, Iceland, have a nice trip"- she nodded and kissed his cheek. Jamia opened her arms and wrapped them around her friend.

- "Take care of Paco"

- "I will! don't worry, I'll call you tomorrow, we still got a lot to do."

- "Yes, ma'am!"- Joey smiled at her friend and bit her lower lip in a lousy attempt not to cry. Ray hugged her tight and kissed her forehead.

- "I'll see you next Thursday, have a nice trip."

- "Yes, dad. See you in a few days"- Joey sighed and looked around- "Come on, kids! Give me an extra hug before I leave"- the three musicians hugged and then chuckled- "Ok, really, please shower, you smell so fucking bad."

- "Shut up!"- Mikey punched her shoulder softly and made her chortle. Now it was time for the hard part.

- "Bye, guys!"- Joey walked to James, Worm, and Jeffrey and hugged them. Matthew followed her, shaking everybody's hand goodbye too.

Everybody said their goodbyes in the friendliest way until Joey looked over Gerard and Lynz and gave them her best smile.

- "See you guys! Thank you for everything"- Joey walked over and hugged Lynz first- "Hope you have a nice trip back home, and again, thank you for the chance"- the girl let the woman go and sighed. Matthew walked over, shook Lynz's hand, and stood right behind Joey, his eyes never leaving Gerard as the singer moved to Joey and hugged her tight. So tight, Lynz held her breath.

- "Touring with you was the best thing this band has done in a long time"- he whispered in her ear and kissed her cheek softly, almost like a little peck that barely touched her skin, but that gave Gerard goosebumps- "I'm sorry things didn't..."- but she cut him off, moving from his arms and sighing.

- "It was really an honor to play drums in My Chem"- she smiled and took a step back from the singer. Matthew didn't even hold eye contact with him. They didn't shake hands either- "I learned so much from all of you"- the girl looked around the room and chuckled one more time, walking to her friends again, and as far from Gerard as possible- "Ok, before I start crying..."

- "Yami, tears are already falling from your eyes"- Matthew whispered, rubbing her back, making her giggle.

- "I'm not crying, I have a Mikey Way in my eyes"- she looked at her best friend and saw him crying too- "Ok, time to go, see you guys later, love you so much!"- Joey grabbed her backpack and waved one more time.

- "Bye everybody"- Matthew waved and walked to the door, opening it. He held Joey's hand and walked her out as she kept her eyes on her friends, waving.

Gubler knew that was a hard moment for her. Joey wasn't really good at dealing with goodbyes.

- "Joey, wait!"- Lynz followed her and stopped the couple, just a few steps away from the dressing room- "Can I talk to you for a second?"

- "We have to catch our flight, sorry we don't have much time"- the drummer answered, knowing where that conversation was gonna lead and not really willing to have it.

- "It won't take much time. I just wanted to..."- Lynz made a pause and looked at Gubler.

- "Sorry, I'm not going anywhere"- he quickly answered, and Joey nodded.

- "Anything you need to know or ask, you can do it in front of him"- Mrs. Way sighed and closed her eyes.

- "Did Gerard cheat on me with you?"

And there it was. The big pink elephant in the room.

Matthew held Joey's hand tight as they both watched how Lynz's face turned white as paper waiting for the answer. The silence made it all very clear, but she needed words to confirm her thoughts.

- "Gerard kissed me when I was depressed and drunk"- Joey simply said, not even a muscle moving on her face as she just explained the facts- "I didn't want him to do it, but he did it anyway. That's why we are not friends, or close... or anything"- Lynz widened her eyes as she heard those words.

- "But... so he cheated"- by her tone of voice, she still couldn't fully understand or believe what she was saying.

- "Yes, and I didn't want to do it. I have no feelings for your husband. I'm not attracted to him, and just like I told you back in London, I didn't have any plan on cheating Matthew with him, not even under the shitty circumstances we got into."

The drummer said, intimating their breakup. Joey was proud of herself. She was nice but not friendly. The word was cold-headed and objective. Feeling her boyfriend's hand in hers helped profoundly.

- "Your husband was a little... too intense with her"- Matthew added, as nice as he could be, considering he was very fed up with the whole situation, and with Lynz's attitude- "That's why she stayed away from him."

- "I'm sorry about everything. I didn't want to make any kind of mess"- Joey made a pause and sighed, knowing how hard that was for the woman. She had been there a few months ago- "I just wanted to do my job, not getting involved with anyone."

- "Not even with Mikey?"- Lynz didn't even think what she was saying. The poison just left her lips as she continued talking- "'Cos you are not fooling me, slut"- Joey sighed and shook her head.

- "I didn't get involved with him, he is my friend, and if you won't believe it, that's your problem, not mine... just like your husband is your problem, not mine."

- "What the fuck?"- and Lynz snapped, nearly pushing Joey, who took a few steps back as soon as she noticed things were getting too steamy- "This is all your fault!"

- "Why?"- the drummer frowned, still trying to remain calm. Gubler stood by her side, now wrapping an arm around her waist, trying to protect her and hold her back at the same time.

- "'Cos you joined this band and fucking flirted with everybody!"- Lynz shouted, causing heads all-around to turn to them in shock- "And now that you are leaving, you are trying to convince me that you are innocent! Like you never actually tried to get in Gerard's pants!!"

- "I never in the entire time I spent with this band wanted to get under your husband's pants 'cos, breaking news, not all women want to fuck him!"- Joey whispered/yelled, still trying to keep a low profile of that argument. However, Lynz was making it extremely hard at that point.

- "And just to make it clear, I also didn't want to bang Mikey, Frank, or Ray!"

- "Sure! Try to be all pure and naive! I don't fucking swallow shit! You seduced him!"

Joey looked at Mrs. Way and felt bad for her, she could actually understand how she felt, and a part of her wanted to hug her and tell her to be calm, that things were gonna get better. But at the same time, she just wanted to break her nose and walk away.

- "It's ok if you don't believe me, ask him what happened. I don't care. I have a plane to catch and a life to live, so... "- Joey sighed and made a short pause before saying- "Goodbye Lynz."

And the drummer and her boyfriend never stopped walking until they reached the van that waited for them outside.

- "That bitch!!"- Matthew whispered as soon as they closed the door- "Sorry! I know I shouldn't call her that, but... fuck!! she had to be poisonous even at the last minute!"

- "I know"- the girl rested her head on his shoulder and sighed- "But the good news is, we don't have to see her ever again"

- "That's true"- he sweetly rubbed his hand on her arm as he hugged her and kissed the top of her head- "Now Gerard is the one who's gonna have to fix his fucking mess"- the girl nodded at those words and sighed.

- "I wonder if he is going to deny the whole deal"

- "Maybe... at least the guys know the whole truth, in case that asshole tries to make shit up."

- "Yeah..." - the drummer turned to Gubler and cut him a short smile- "But none of that matters anymore. Do you want to know why?"

- "Why Yami?"- he questioned with a silly grin on his face.

- "'Cos from this moment on, Matthew Gray Gubler, I am entirely tour-free. You are gonna have me home every single fucking day when you come back from work"- he smiled widely, his eyes shining as he stared at her.

- "There's nothing on earth I want more than to have you home every day."

Lynz stood still in the middle of the hallway, not knowing what to do next. A part of her didn't want to believe a word Joey had just said, and a huge part of her knew she was in denial. It all made so much sense. Gerard must have tried something with the drummer to keep her so undeniably away. Lynz wanted to hate her and blame her, but though she kept trying, she couldn't 'cos... it only took a second of simple and straightforward reasoning to see Joey wasn't interested in Gerard. Not the way he was in her.

- "Are you ok?"

Speak of the devil. Her husband's voice took her from her thoughts, and a chill ran down her body. He stood right behind her, scared. He didn't want to be there, and he surely didn't want to know what his wife was going to answer. But the doubt of what she had just spoken with Joey was bigger.

- "So... you kissed her"- his wife's voice was a whisper he wished he hadn't heard. But it was unquestionably clear in his ears.

- "Can we go outside?"- he answered in a lower voice. His words confirmed immediately everything was true. He didn't even bother denying it. She started walking out, searching in her pockets for her cigarettes.

- "Did you force her to leave?"- Lynz asked. Gerard didn't know how to answer.

- "I didn't make her leave. That was her decision."

- "Because she didn't want to be close to you, apparently."

Way bit his lips and lit a cigarette the second they set foot outside the building. There was no one out there with them, and the marriage was glad. They didn't want anyone near to hear that conversation.

- "Baby, listen... I love you"- Gerard started, but his wife cut him off right away.

- "I don't wanna hear that shit! just tell me, did you cheat on me?"- he wanted to ask her to define what "cheating" meant to her, 'cos in his head... he might have done something slightly stupid, but cheating? No. Matthew had cheated. He hadn't.

- "No, I just kissed her, we didn't do anything- and at those words, Lynz's hand slapped Gerard's cheek with such swiftness and accuracy, she left a red bruise on his cheekbone right away."

- "Just" kissed her?! What the fuck is your problem?! Kissing another woman, who is not your wife, is cheating!!"

Lynz wanted to hit him again but managed to control herself. She knew making a scene wasn't going to make things better. Though she didn't actually know if she wanted to make everything better at the moment.

- "Listen, baby..."- but Gerard couldn't even speak.

- "No! Shut up! I don't wanna know it! You fucked up our marriage 'cos you got a fucking fling with a stupid kid?!"

- "Please! I can explain! It's not like that! Listen to me"- tears started coming from his eyes as Lynz made her best not to cry. She wanted to remain strong. She wanted to be mad, not sad. The truth was: she was devastated.

The couple stared at each other as tears ran down their cheeks. The two of them kept fighting not to cry first.

- "I fucked it up"- Gerard managed to say and bit his lips as his voice cracked.

- "No shit!! If you hadn't pointed that out, I might have never known!!"- Lynz's voice was so infuriated it managed to mask all the sadness and deception that laid underneath.

- "I need you to understand this: I love you, baby. I haven't stopped loving you ever since the day I met you, and my love for you has only grown with every day we've been together."

- "You are so fucking full of it!!"- the woman pushed him away as soon as he tried to take a step closer to her- "I can't believe I fucking trusted you!! I knew that slut wanted to get under your belt the second I saw her!!"

- "But she didn't!"- Gerard shouted, already frustrated- "She didn't want me!! I kissed her, she rejected me! That's it!"

- "Sure! That's why she left! 'Cos you kissed her, and she rejected you!"- the woman frowned and crossed her eyes, staring at her husband in disbelief- "How stupid do you think I am?!"

- "That's what happened! I never..." - Way scratched his face, confused. It was hard for him to explain what had happened to his wife without looking like a psycho. Then again, that's who he had been: a sick, pathetic asshole who had scared Joey away. And maybe it was time for him to face it.

- "She left 'cos I didn't handle her rejection very well"- he said, in the politest way he found. Lynz finished her cigarette and lit another one right away. She kept walking in circles in front of her husband, not knowing what to do. She either wanted to know what had happened and despised the idea of knowing the whole truth.

- "So what? Kissing her wasn't enough? You wanted to fuck her too?!"

Gerard didn't know how to answer. He could tell her the whole truth and ruin their marriage forever, or he could simply deny it. And pray she would never know the rest of the story.

- "I thought she had a thing on me and kept pushing her about it, like an asshole"- he whispered and looked into Lynz's eyes, trying to look as sincere as possible- "She kept rejecting me, and it hurt my ego... I just didn't think... she..."

- "What? You couldn't deal with rejection?"

- "I couldn't face the fact she didn't have a thing on me, not the way she had for my brother... and I got jealous of him."

Gerard Arthur Way was full of it.

- "I know I fucked it up, and I know it was stupid and childish! But.... I couldn't stop feeling like I did when I was eight, and everybody loved my brother the most"- now he was actually making shit up- "And I wanted attention..."

- "Oh, stop it!"- Lynz frowned and walked from her husband, who had managed to stand right in front of her, nearly pouting- "I'm not gonna swallow that shitty story! Do you think I'm stupid?!"

- "No!"- Gerard's voice was cracking again as he realized he didn't know how to deal with that whole situation. At a certain point in the latest months, he had just stopped thinking about what could ever happen if his wife got to know what had been going on in his head. And heart. And mostly, in his pants.

- "Do you love her?"- Lynz asked, scared of the answer but not having the will or the energy to continue with the doubt. She wanted to talk all there was to talk about it, and then, she didn't know.

- "Love her?! What? No!!"- Gerard denied right away- "What the fuck are you talking about? I just love you, baby!"

- "Then what the fuck Gerard?!"- his wife shouted, tears falling as her patience flew off the window- "You got obsessed with her!"

- "But I don't love her! She ain't important! I fucked it up! But I don't love her!! It meant nothing!! Nothing ever happened!"

- "You kissed her!"

- "She stopped me, she didn't... she didn't want me!"

- "And if she had wanted you?! What if?"- Lynz widened her eyes, staring at her husband's reaction. The young man made his best to act calm and frowned.

- "Nothing would have happened, Lynz... I didn't want to either... I just... was stupid and wanted to prove she could... that Mikey wasn't..."

- "You know what? I don't swallow shit!"- Lynz put out her cigarette and bit her lips.

- "Please don't go!"- Gerard ran over and tried to hold her, but his wife moved from his arms quickly and refused to his touch"

- "I don't wanna see your face anymore, not today."

- "Come on, baby, let's talk about this"- Gerard begged and grabbed her hand, but she took it off quickly and gave him a cold gaze that gave him chills. He had never seen her like that.

- "No! I can't stand the sight of you right now!"- and after those words, she ran away from him and slammed the door behind her back.

Gerard stared at his wife, not really knowing what to do. He put out his cigarette and followed her. She was in the dressing room, getting her things together. No one else was there. The whole band had already left.

- "Lynz..."- he whispered and rested his back against the closed door.

- "No, Gerard, I mean it, I don't wanna see you right now."

- "I love you, and I never wanted to hurt you."

- "Of course"- she snorted and grabbed her purse and jacket- "You just jeopardized our marriage for a stupid crush on a silly whore!"- the woman held her breath as she walked in front of her husband- "Let me out!"

- "Come on, baby, let's talk about it."

- "No! I don't wanna talk! I wanna get the fuck out of here! I wanna go home!!"

- "Then let's go home! Let's go home and talk about this! Let me explain."

- "What is there to explain?! Tell me?"- the couple stared at each other in silence- "My point exactly"- she stormed to the door and pushed him away. Gerard stood there, confused and angry. He hit his head against the wall and broke into tears. Real desperation tears.

He had no idea how to put his life together again.

taglist @all-tings-diego @worryd0ll

Do you wanna talk about this story, or be added to the taglist? send me a message here

#frank iero #gerard way #matthew gray gubler #ray toro #mcr fanfic #babymetaldoll writes #mgg x oc

33 notes · View notes