#frail words collapse
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rastronomicals · 10 months ago
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July 1:
On the 1st of July, 1966, Bob Dylan disseminated Blonde On Blonde, his double album.
This just isn't Dylan's first double album, it's rock music's. They aren't really sure when it was released, but Friday the first of July seems a pretty good guess.
On the 1st of July, 1986, Misfits let loose unto a world that may or may not have been ready for it Misfits, their almost omnipresent compilation album.
On this date in 1987, Napalm Death released their first album, Scum.
On this date in 2003, As I Lay Dying, the band who thought they were a rap artist, released their second album, Frail Words Collapse.
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joeyxvanity · 9 months ago
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94 hours of regret
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okwonyo · 2 months ago
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CUFFING SEASON 𓂃 gymrat!enhypen 𓈒
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𝗜𝗦𝗣𝗜𝗥𝗔𝗭𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗘 ✶ ────── 𝗂𝗍’𝗌 𝖼𝗎𝖿𝖿𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗌𝖾𝖺𝗌𝗈𝗇 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗀𝗂𝗋𝗅𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗈 𝗀𝖾𝗍 𝖺 𝖻𝗂𝗀 𝖻𝗈𝗒. 𝗂 𝗇𝖾𝖾𝖽 𝖺 𝖻𝗂𝗀 𝖻𝗈𝗒.
엔하이픈 & fem!rea 14OO fluff established relationship cautions kissing skinship ˊᯅˋ altero
❛ 姫 ❜ thanks to danipie for the heeseung prompt and tam for jakes >< plus to jenn, tam and pockemonz for being my emotional support 🎀
reblogs⠀⠀ꢾ꣒⠀ feedbacks please
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HEESEUNG 。。 ever since you moved in together, your boyfriend likes to walk around with a tank top embracing his upper body, showcasing his biceps and making you daydream about his chest.
frankly, this habit of his isn’t new to you— back when you lived in different apartments, he would always open the door while dressed in that sort of clothes.
you admired his arms for a while during the long times whereas you were together. gaze dragging over his hands to reach his biceps, you always wondered if the ribbon you put in your hair could fit around his big muscles.
“do you think it’d fit?” the ribbon is held between your index finger and your thumb as you question your boyfriend.
he looks at his biceps then at the pink hair accessory in your hand. seeing the sheer happiness on your face, he smiles “we can always try, sweetheart.”
wiping the grin off his face as he watches you wrap the thing around his flexed bicep is impossible. it is fun and you find it irresistibly hot— wrapping his arm is like marking him as yours. and you both love it.
JAY 。。 honestly, you think you are dreaming even now, deep in doze still, when you step into the kitchen and are met with a heaven-sent view in front of you.
with a mouth agape and eyes growing wide, you admire the back of your boyfriend. you want to thank whoever created gyms and thank your fortune for making your boyfriend such an addict.
his muscular and defined back shines, stares back at you as he is focused on making breakfast. the laces of the pink apron he wears on top of his naked torso wraps his waist perfectly.
it feels like heaven when your cheek collapses on his hot naked skin. you hug his waist like a teddy bear— almost melting into his skin. and god, he smells too good.
it’s dreamy when he kisses the top of your head, “good morning, baby,” he greets you, but you are too enamored by the vision of his broad shoulders a few moments ago to respond just yet.
you only hum, thinking that today will be a great day.
JAKE 。。 your phone rings as you are making yourself lunch. upon picking it up, a breathy voice reaches you through the phone. given the hour of the day, you don’t need to double check to know who it is.
“hi, princess, you good?” he greets you and you can hear the grin in his tone. a groan comes quick after— proving his current physical effort and confirming that he is at the gym, as he always is.
“yes, i’m good, jake,” the deep breath you take makes you able to respond after a few seconds. the next question is automatic, “how are you?”
“’m good, babe, i’m on the lat pulldown machine right now.” it would have been better, way better, if he hadn’t said that. or if he never showed you what a lat pulldown looks like.
but he did, and you cannot wipe the image of him sitting, his wide shoulders flexing alongside his back as he pulls the lat down. it makes you feel dizzy, him groaning again doesn’t help.
due to your silence, he continues. his voice is whiny, your knees get weaker, “i’ll finish my set quickly and take you on a date, alright?”
imagining him at the gym makes your whole behind fragile. your voice is locked in your throat and you tongue won’t move. but you’d let that man take you anywhere he’d like— the frail sounds of agreement you make are a confirmation of it.
SUNGHOON 。。 “stop moving around,” he commands, rather gently. his smile is too big for his words to be an order, he is so close to you that you can’t stop giggling. but you do stop moving.
the man’s beauty hits you one more time as your eyes focus on him. your boyfriend has his hands either side of your torso, next to your arms while you lay down on the floor.
he lower himself slowly, his lips brush over yours ever so gently, a quick kiss before he pushes on his arms and gets in his initial position. he is the one who got that idea, claiming that it’ll motivate him more.
it is in the privacy of your living room that he does another push up, his chest presses against yours when he lowers himself. this time, the kiss linger a little more than the last one.
you should have known that this exercise wouldn’t last long. it takes him less than three pushups to start focusing on your lips a little too much. “you know what? nevermind.”
his weight drops on you, a little ‘oof’ escapes from his mouth and a gentle ‘sorry, darling’ does the same from his. you kiss him back quickly when his mouth gets on yours.
SUNOO 。。 when you first met, his gym journey wasn’t as long as it is currently. therefore, you were used to his old, already quite muscular build. when he started going more regularly to the point where it was almost everyday, the changes weren’t very obvious to you.
of course, you knew he was getting more buffed every passing day but you didn’t realize how much until now. when your head is resting on his chest, covered by the thin fabric of his t-shirt.
it takes you a bit to realize how firm his chest feels under your resting head. you stay still for a moment, then your eyebrows furrow as you rub your cheek against his chest.
his arms tighten around your form, and you realize that his pecks are not the only parts that got more muscular. his chest vibrates as he laughs, “what are you doing?”
taken out of your examination, your gaze shoots up. it’s absurd how his natural cute face is on top of that kind of build. “since when are you hulk?”
JUNGWON 。。 during the time when he isn’t getting on your nerves or teasing you, he spends his energy on lifting weights at the gym and working on his muscles.
therefore, you know how well his body is built. you can tell, honestly, whenever you surreptitiously peek at him while he takes off his shirt to put on a hoodie instead. his big shoulders and small waist looks back at you, his beceps flex as he folds the clothing piece.
his muscles might be one of his greatest assets, to both send you into a spiral and irritate you the most. because being manhandled everywhere by your boyfriend creates an eruption of butterflies in your stomach but not being able to fight back makes you want to bite him.
“leave me alone!” you laugh when he lifts you off the floor in a swift mention. you are unable to move your arms as he jailed them in his embrace when he rushed to you.
the man quite literally throws you on your shared bed, making your body bounce against the mattress. you are breathless from both laughing, running away from him— even more when you find him on top of you.
you try to push him away when he leans closer. well, not really trying, because you don’t put any strength in the process. he ends up getting his kiss at the end, and he is quite content about it.
RIKI 。。 after occupying your room more than you do, even when you are not here, it is natural for him to have a place in your dressing where he can put his clothes.
the first time you thought about it, there wasn’t any big deal or issue related to it. it is the natural course of things, and you love that he is always there with you.
but it gets harder for you when he actually changes. when he takes off his shirt right before your eyes, letting you have a look of the creation he worked hard to have.
embarrassment becomes a prominent emotion in your head whenever you catch yourself staring at his defined abs. it is torture, you cannot yake your eyes off of them.
only a short amount of time passes before he notices it. soon enough , your boyfriend is smirking at you with his shirt in his hand, “like what you see?”
it’s a shame that you actually do. rather very much than not.
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taglist open + net— @sgz-net
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cosycafune · 9 months ago
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'CAN'T YOU HANDLE ME, BABY?'
0.8k words. sleeping with a man, Toji, double your age wasn’t on your bucket list. however, a tinder match up leaves you sexually curious — throwing away your sanity.
synopsis of acts: back shots, multiple creampies, unprotected sex, slight breeding kink, orgasms, him fucking you, whilst watching through the mirror, size difference, big balls, teasing, taunting, crying, mentions of oral, picture taking, infedelity and potential more. not proofread.
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NOTHING within you knew what you did to end up here, struggling to take the man that you met on plain, old Tinder. A cum bucket wasn’t your first thought, even if you were a bratty mess.
A writhing mess, you’re mindlessly arched — Toji’s thick, heavy walls slapping against your filled cunt. Strings of thick, warm cum had filled you for hours, but Toji wasn’t willing to let you go. Unable to cry out anymore, consumed by Toji’s brutal pace, your body quivers heavily.
Not a sound fled from your lips, simply broken moans that barely surfaced — a symbol of your worn out self. To you, finding a man on a dating site, like this was extremely rare. However, nothing within you could decline the bulky, gruff, athletic man who kindly matched with a frail, doll-like you. No matter your weight, you still remained something miniscule, in need of conquering before Toji.
“Toji, can’t…last,” Stuffed effortlessly with Toji’s ropes of cum, his thick cock mashing your insides, you falter upon the ample bed with your strained words.
A large, overwhelming pile of saliva remains upon the sheets while Toji grins at you collapsing upon the blankets, being sure to drill into a quivering you. Shit, his ample smile never once faded within the mirror — a wicked grin licking upon his features with every ample thrust.
Innately, Toji’s girth exceeded anything you had ever experienced before, along with his length. Therefore, taking him for this long completely consumed you. Nonetheless, you never listened to your internal thoughts — warning yourself that you couldn’t handle him.
Even with him so deeply within your stomach, pulverising you, your cunt desperately sang his rough praises. Even as your beaten upon bubble butt weakly remains up, Toji can’t help but roughly steady your hips — colliding with a silently moaning you with glee.
Never had you been so fanciful with men who remain significantly older, but you couldn’t help but grind against him when he first entered your home. The restraint you once garnered wavered the moment Toji aligned his ample cock against your lips, throat fucking you recklessly for an hour. Wickedly, he tore into you immensely — so pleased with a teary, bubble-lipped you still yearning to take more. Fat globs of tears streamed down your face, but you couldn’t help but continue to let him throat fuck you — taking a picture and sending it to your toxic boyfriend.
Even whilst you almost choked, his cock lewdly smacking against your lips, Toji contently pushed you into intaking more. To you, you knew he discovered sadistic pleasure in seeing a naked, kneeling you — scattered with a sea of hickeys — obediently before his cock. Seeing you worship ever vein, the beads of cum that spew, the length of it, your battering doe eyes, completely consumed Toji immensely.
“Shit, I know you can…take it!” Toji bellows as he continues to flaunt his almost unbearable sexual drive, his sculpted hips prompting lewd sounds to flow from your squelching cunt. Squelching sounds cut through the serenity of the room, along with the straggled sounds that flee from your lips.
“‘Can’t believe you’ve been taking it…this long,” Knowing you’re flowing with Toji’s cum, even though you’re still being slip open by him, Toji grins with unfathomable glee.
“Fhm,” Wordlessly, exhausted, Toji softly tugs on your hair — forcing you to admire your teary, mascara-stained features in the posed mirror.
“A mess, and I’ve barely started,” Scoffing with his murmurs, Toji hums whilst your features are out of focus — completely corrupted by his cock.
“‘Can’t you… handle me, baby?” Grunting, feeling your walls tighten for the millionth time, Toji’s question falls pointless to a cumming you.
“Ohh,” Only bringing yourself to mutter something so useless, Toji realises the only thing holding up your conquered physique is his thick, veiny arm.
“Mhm! Yes!” Picking up his pace, Toji bellows while his ample balls bash against your buzzing clit — pushing you down on the bed.
“Ahhh!” Finding might to cry out, you gasp at Toji’s body weight falling upon you whilst he thrusts his deepest — pushing you further down on the bed.
“You’re…cute,” Moments away from finishing, Toji thrusts his deepest within you — his thick cock causing you to let out a struggled gasp.
“S-So…deep,” Muttering, Toji grins at your subtle coherency — drawing himself cumming his deepest within you once more.
“‘Better not…take birth control,” Remaining tattered, cum-stuffed vigorously, Toji admires his work — bringing his words to your ear.
“‘Didn’t stuff you…to not carry my��baby,” Not longing to pull out, Toji carves himself into moaning loudly through his words — his eyes rolling back at his cum shooting within your womb.
“Ngh!” Jolting at Toji’s bucket-load of cum punch your gut, you feel yourself accidentally come undone — endlessly filled with his prestige baby batter.
“Hm, weren’t you…saying you’d take me for hours?” Tiredly mumbling, Toji glances at an almost asleep you within the mirror — drool departing from your parted lips.
“Can’t you handle more of me, baby?” Desperation tinting Toji’s voice, he continues to conduct his slow pace — so content by the warmth of your clutching cunt.
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do not modify or reupload any of my works. all works are written by me. all rights reserved; cosycafune. 2024.
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lightseoul · 6 months ago
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HOLD ME CLOSE (HOLD ME TIGHT) (3.8k)
pairing. k. bakugou x reader
synopsis. masaru has a stroke that nearly kills him. bakugou handles it well—until he doesn’t. (read on ao3)
cw. pro-hero!katsuki, aged-up (32), established relationship, mentions of illness, themes of grief, discussions of past trauma (bkg's)
a/n. i hope y'all cry because this made me cry lmao. writing really is easy if you take heavy inspiration from your personal experiences lol. this is written from bkg's pov, and serves as a mini character analysis as well ig?
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bakugou remembers it clear as day.
it was only a few weeks after the two of you celebrated his 32nd birthday in a secluded resort out of town when he got the call.
he was in the middle of chastising his klutz of a sidekick’s ear off for forgetting to submit an important case report when his phone started ringing, and the very fact that it wasn’t your ringtone further soured his already worsening mood.
with a final reprimand laced with an hr-appropriate amount of expletives, he dismissed the rookie, leaving him alone in his pristine, corner office.
he recalls sighing in annoyance upon seeing the caller id, as well as his clipped tone when he greeted the old hag with a curt, “what.”
that annoyance was immediately replaced with alarm, however, when his usually bright mother spoke into the microphone, her typically level voice shaking with unmistakable fear.
“it’s your father, katsuki…” she started, and he instantly braced himself for the impact.
mitsuki takes a shaky inhale. “…he’s having a stroke. we’re on the way to the hospital. please, come here.”
he didn’t need to be told twice.
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he remembers being on autopilot—the entire way to the suburban peripheries of musutafu where his parents decided to move after he got his own place at the age of 22. he’s not entirely sure—the journey over now a hazy blur—but he might’ve sent you the link to his location, because you magically arrived at the local hospital around fifteen minutes after him.
the moment he saw you burst into the entrance of the emergency room, a huge, tidal wave of relief immediately washed over him, he thought he could’ve collapsed. the second you lock eyes, he witnessed a whirlwind of emotions dance across your beautiful features, before you ran over to where he stood near the vending machine, unceremoniously crashing into his arms.
at that point, he had no idea what made you drop everything—including the precious work that you do—and just follow him based on an ambiguous gps locator he sent you without context, but he was glad you did.
because it was only as you held him so close to you all the while soothing his back and chanting soft ‘it’s okay’s’ in his ear did it hit him.
the fact that he’s fucking terrified.
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it must’ve been at least three hours of stewing in tense silence in the emergency room’s waiting area before the two of you finally saw mitsuki.
he remembers the way his heart ached when he first laid eyes on his mother, someone who’s typically radiant and spirited and happy, now looking too frail and painfully vulnerable.
words weren’t exchanged as the three of you walked towards each other, and he promptly engulfed his mother into a tight hug before he could talk himself out of it.
“how is he?” he whispered into the side of her head, choosing to ask then, in the middle of a hug, because he didn’t know if he could stand the look on her face when she answered.
“he’s alive,” she managed to get out, but she said it so tentatively that he knew it was too soon to feel any sort of relief.
“but…?” he recalls asking with bated breath.
“it was a hemorrhagic stroke. it’s… it’s bad, katsuki.”
it wasn’t until a few more hours later, when the two of you were finally granted permission to enter masaru’s hospital room together with mitsuki, did he realize what bad meant.
some parts of this story are blurry now, but the way his stomach dropped at the sight of his father remains to be unforgettable.
the sight of him paralyzed, head to toe.
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masaru remained confined in the hospital for a few weeks more after that. the three of you took turns—one would go home to clean up and catch some sleep while the remaining two kept watch and assisted the man.
you almost got booted out of there on the second day, with the nurse saying only immediate family was allowed due to overcrowding in the hospital, but bakugou was quick to step in and say you were practically married.
when the nurse politely pressed for more details while looking pointedly at your ring finger and the lack of a wedding band, he lied and said you forgot to wear it in your rush to get there.
she didn’t seem too convinced, but she thankfully let it go, probably because it was #2 pro-hero dynamight who said so, eventually exiting the room after checking masaru’s vitals.
he remembers you heaving a sigh of relief once the three of you were left alone, tossing him a small smile that sent a familiar shot of longing straight to his veins.
one day, he recalls thinking to himself, you will be married.
just—not now.
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the first day home was as much of a nightmare as he expected it to be.
growing up, and until that moment, he never really found himself wanting siblings.
sure, it got pretty lonely during his childhood, but he almost always had kids following him around what with how flashy his quirk is, and he had izuku, which he can now admit was (and still is) his best friend.
plus, you always said you loved how he’d roughhouse you, which you chalked up to him being an only child and not having had the opportunity to do that with anyone else.
but, as the three of you struggled to lift masaru out of the car and into his newly minted wheelchair, he remembers wishing for a brother or a sister who could lend a helping hand and make sure all of masaru’s numb body parts were carefully looked out for.
it’s fucking hilarious, how he didn’t just lift his father all by himself with his pro-hero muscles, but the fear of accidentally hurting him even more turned out to be more paralyzing than he anticipated.
not that he would ever admit that to anyone.
not even you.
but as he watched you and his mother fluttering around, tending to masaru’s needs not even a minute you get in the house, it struck him that maybe he should.
you might not be his sibling (thank god, no), but you will most likely become his parents’ daughter if things go his way.
and, whether he liked it or not, he’s got to do something about the growing ache in his chest that’s only growing wider by the second.
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the next few weeks he spent busying himself with the stuff that came with looking after a stroke patient.
mitsuki, who’s done nothing but throw herself into caring for her husband, insisted on helping him find the people they needed, but bakugou didn’t even let her get a word in.
when he tucked himself into bed right next to you later that night in his new bedroom (you moved in with him to his parents’ despite his protests), he recalls ranting about how the old hag was getting on his nerves with her inability to just let him handle shit.
“have i ever been incompetent?” he huffed, turning on his side so he could lie facing you. “it’s like she doesn’t even trust me.”
“i think the two of you just want the same for the other, kats,” came your steady yet gentle voice, not missing a beat and totally unfazed by his petulant behavior.
“…waddya mean?”
you reached out to caress his cheek, and he remembers how soft your fingers felt and how his eyes momentarily fluttered close at the warmth.
at the sight, you flashed him a sad smile before pressing on.
“you’re both hurting, but the two of you would rather carry the weight by yourselves instead of burdening the other. it’s how you and mitsuki show you care.”
he didn’t say anything after that.
at least, for a while.
finally, he spoke up. “…i just don’t like to be bossed around, is all.”
to that, you only tossed him a knowing look. “yup, just that. definitely. never mind your immense sense of responsibility and the stubborn yet admirable way you carry everybody’s bur—”
“yeah, yeah,” he cut you off before you could ramble any further. “i get it.”
seemingly satisfied, you grinned up at him before pulling him close, cradling his head by your chest.
with the new position, he could feel your familiar, rhythmic heartbeat.
your heartbeat that he liked to listen to for reassurance—telltale evidence that you’re alive and right next to him, and that no villain has wrestled you out of his firm grip.
and as he lay there snuggled into you and listening to the consistent pulse, he found his frantic, loud thoughts slowly but steadily being lulled to a hum.
thoughts that he knew you’d kick to the moon if you found out he’s been thinking them.
thoughts like maybe he’s just selfishly gatekeeping all the tasks so he could distract himself from the pain that’s threatening to swallow him whole.
thoughts like maybe he deserved this for all the wrong he’s done growing up.
thoughts like maybe his mother would be in far less pain if it were him instead of his saint of a father who had to go through this.
he fell into a fitted sleep that night.
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after a few more weeks of searching for and screening applicants, and with your and mitsuki’s approval, he finally settled on a stay-in caregiver and physical therapist.
it took quite a while for the two to learn the ropes and master how he wanted things to be done around here, but they eventually got there, and when they did, they cleared a lot of stuff that has been on everybody’s plates ever since masaru had the stroke.
with that, mitsuki insisted the two of you go home to your shared condominium and get back into working full-time again, but neither of you relented. he tried to get you to return, not wanting to hold you back from the important things that you do, but you were quick to dismiss him.
he didn’t tell you then and there, but he secretly wished you would.
he’d never confess this to anybody, but he’d definitely crumble without you around.
he remembers one specific thursday, when you first started getting masaru into exercising his left, albeit non-dominant hand, by drawing.
it was silly, but he recalls not even being able to look his father in the eye as the two of you sat across from him who was plastered in his wheelchair, a small coffee table between you, on which sat a piece of paper, a pencil, a box of crayons, and an all might plushie you swiftly grabbed from his bedroom.
and as he sat there avoiding his father’s gaze, he watched you as you talked animatedly to the man, explaining the deceivingly simple activity: he just had to try and draw the plushie, after which, if he still had the energy, he could color in using the crayons you dug out from bakugou’s drawers.
but masaru wasn’t having it.
the man only stared at you in disinterest as you tried your best to engage him. despite himself, bakugou felt indignation creep up his spine.
he knew. fuck, he really did. after he made sure you’ve fallen asleep, he had spent nights researching his father’s condition, poring over mountains and mountains of information all in the name of being able to better understand and help him.
so he knew—he knew that strokes, especially severe ones, can cause noticeable changes in one’s personality, at least in the short term. it can turn someone sensitive and in tune with others’ emotions into someone who’s apathetic and seemingly self-absorbed.
still, that knowledge doesn’t stop him from jumping on his feet when masaru, his kind, sweet father, angrily wiped off the table with his left arm, sending the materials you worked hard to gather scattered all over the floor.
and, before he could stop himself: “hey!”
you were onto him in an instant, a soothing albeit restraining hold on his shoulder. “katsuki, it’s okay.”
he was about to open his mouth to spit venom when he felt you tighten your grip. he didn’t have to glance at you to know you were looking at him the way you always did when you were begging him to stay quiet.
and because he loved (loves) you, he did.
and as he wordlessly picked up the papers and pens in silence, he couldn’t help but mourn over his father, and the patience and calmness that characterized his being.
the very patience and calmness that he always wished he had, instead of his temper and aggressiveness, because that’s what you, of all people, deserved.
and then the all-too-familiar guilt hit him again.
because why was he acting like his father died, when he was still very much alive?
simple, bakugou thought to himself.
it’s because it feels like he has.
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his relationship with masaru didn’t get better after that.
he’d been trying, he really had been. if not for you, who’d been tending to his father like he was your very own, then for his mother, whose fatigue and sadness have been chipping away at her by the minute.
he was washing the dishes in the kitchen after you’ve had dinner—all the while his parents watched tv in the living room—when you walked in, a couple more dirty plates in tow.
he wouldn’t have noticed he was glaring down at the brick of butter on the shelf if you didn’t point it out.
“a few more seconds and that’s gonna melt,” you quipped.
he looked back at you, gears in his head turning for a beat, before he chuckled half-heartedly and turned back to the sink.
behind him, he recalls hearing a click, which he now identifies as you putting down the plates on the kitchen island, before he felt your arms wrap around his middle, encasing him in a hug.
your voice was smooth when you drawled out, “what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours, baby?”
still, and despite all the shit that’s been going on in his life, he still found himself shuddering at the pet name.
“nothing.”
“really?” came your immediate response. “because i was getting kinda jealous with how hard you were staring at that butter.”
at that, bakugou couldn’t help but snort. you followed suit, that delightful laugh echoing across the small room.
“stupid,” he simply retorted, although both of you knew there was no bite to it.
you didn’t press him for more after that, choosing to just hold yourself against his back in comfortable silence—which he now knows he’s grateful for.
because at that time, he couldn’t have told you he was feeling nothing but resentment for his pitiful father.
his pitiful father who loved to put butter in virtually every dish he whipped up.
his pitiful father who probably wouldn’t be pitiful if he just led an active lifestyle, monitored his health, and made better choices so that his poor mother wouldn’t have to go through all this.
his train of thought was interrupted, however, when a pang of that same old guilt hit his chest, and then he was once again flooded with scalding shame.
because what else should he be feeling for his father aside from empathy, as someone who has had far too many brushes with death itself?
“…katsuki?”
he recalls jolting ever so minutely, before turning his head to look at you, who, by then, was already standing behind him, apparently already having released him from the hug.
“huh?”
“i was just asking you,” you continued as if he didn’t just zone out. “our friends want to come by and visit, if you’re okay with it. is that alright with you?”
the last thing he needed was for his nerd-ass friends to visit and witness his family’s dirty laundry, which would inevitably be aired out for them to see given the circumstances. his entire life, he always, always, kept those from prying eyes, even if they were his closest buddies’.
but, at the mention of his friends, he found his heart clenching in yearning despite himself.
and so, before he could talk himself out of it, he nodded in approval.
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“…and so that’s how i saved the little girl who was convinced i was the bad guy!”
he remembers everyone in the room erupting in laughter at kirishima’s story, even masaru, who’s been steadily gaining control of the left side of his body back.
his right has seen little to no improvement, but you and mitsuki have been making it a point to celebrate every win, no matter how small.
at kirishima’s gag, bakugou himself couldn’t help the somewhat imperceptible smirk that encroached on his face, which izuku, unfortunately, caught sight of. the #1 pro-hero beamed at him, and it took bakugou every ounce of self-control not to roll his eyes at the nerd.
“what about you, midoriya-kun?” asked mitsuki, who’s seated on a stool right beside her husband, who’s nestled comfortably in the reclining chair you got him about a month ago.
at the call out, the green-haired man shifted his attention to the lady, before sheepishly retorting with: “oh, i just try to be funny.”
that granted him his round of laughter, and this time bakugou finally allowed himself to give into the visceral urge to roll his eyes.
he must’ve been being so obvious with his expressions, because it’s you who managed to catch him again, shooting him a chastising but nevertheless playful look.
before he could wink at you or do anything in response, though, he recalls mitsuki standing up quite abruptly, startling the five of you.
you shot her a question before anyone else could. “what is it, mitsuki-san?”
“i didn’t notice! we’ve run out of tea and snacks. sorry—” she leaned down to get the trays, “—let me get some mo—”
“i’ll do it!” volunteered the ever-good-natured izuku, who moved so fast the plates were on him before the rest could blink.
“i’ll help the nerd,” bakugou added, standing up before taking some of the cups from his rival lest the latter drops them.
at the uncharacteristically generous offer, izuku once again beamed at him, which bakugou immediately dismissed with a wave of a hand.
the short trek to the kitchen was quiet amidst the background noise, which has been brought up a notch thanks to kirishima’s vivid storytelling.
without a word, bakugou gestured where to get a refill on the snacks while he busied himself with brewing more tea.
the silence that engulfed them was comfortable—familiar—that was, until, izuku broke it.
“thanks again, kacchan.”
bakugou felt his eye twitch at the nickname. “for what?”
izuku turned on his feet to regard his best friend, a grateful smile gracing his boyish features. “for letting me and ei visit. i just wanted you to know i appreciate it. i’m sure it’s not easy having guests around while, you know…”
he wasn’t about to tell the nerd he and kirishima were the only ones he felt comfortable enough to visit at the moment, so he merely nodded.
(un)fortunately, the greenhead took it as a sign to continue.
“she’s been amazing, huh?”
bakugou met the man’s soft gaze, which was directed toward you.
“yeah,” came his sure reply. he remembers not even knowing where to start, so he just simply left it at that.
a pregnant pause.
“you’ve been doing great, too, kacchan.”
that caught him off guard.
he must’ve looked stunned, because izuku shrugged quite timidly, before: “we all see how hard you’re working.”
the #1 pro-hero hesitated for a moment, as if debating whether or not to say the next thing, ultimately deciding for it.
“…but don’t forget to take care of yourself, too, alright?”
and just as fast as he scooped the trays back in the living room, izuku patted him on the shoulder before taking the cups from him and waltzing rather clumsily out of the kitchen.
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later that night, bakugou found himself unable to fall asleep.
it’s been ages since you both got into bed, and you were now on your side with your back turned against him, probably already fast asleep.
he recalls just staring up at the off-white ceiling, playing back in his head the earlier conversation he had with izuku again and again and again.
“you’ve been doing great, too, kacchan,” was what the nerd said.
if he only knew.
if he only knew the terrible thoughts that had been plaguing his mind since shit went down.
there’s a reason why he hasn’t said a single word about the things he’d been thinking since day one.
there’s a reason why he’s kept all of this shit to himself even though they were fucking heavy to carry all on his own.
it was because he was scared of them, and even more scared of what people would make of him when he finally verbalized them into existence.
what you would make of him.
he’s spent most of his life running away from who he used to be, that the mere thought that he might have just always been that guy this entire time is like a fucking 100% detroit smash to the gut.
he didn’t even notice he was crying until he felt a single tear go down the side of his face.
he quickly reached up to wipe it away.
to his horror, he felt you shift beside him, and he found himself frozen in fear as he waited for you to settle into another position in your sleep.
but that didn’t come.
instead, he remembers so, so clearly how you turned to face him—absolutely, evidently wide awake—with such a worried expression on your gorgeous face, and how he just completely lost it at the sight of you.
he remembers how you scooped him into your arms as ugly sobs finally wracked his body, how you led his arms to wrap around your waist to help anchor him as he cried into your chest.
he remembers the soothing circles you rubbed on his back as you started to cry with him, your sniffles the only thing he heard aside from his own weeping.
he remembers the way your voice cracked when you started whispering ‘i’m here’s’ in his ear. and, he doesn’t know if it’s because that line carries a massive fucking weight for him, or that it’s you—the love of his life—who’s saying them, but the words wash over the entirety of his exhausted body like a violent storm, leaving him shivering in its wake.
he remembers deciding then and there, that he was going to tell you everything.
maybe tomorrow, but not now.
for now, and in the safety of your arms, he finds himself finally allowing the grief—the grief that he’s unknowingly been trying to tamp down—to come forward and make itself known.
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tagging. @bunnysaursushii @yawnzzzzzzzz @cholios @kashee-h @iluv-ace @lotuslovers @elarakive @sugurusmoon
˖⁺‧₊ as always, reblogs, replies, and tags are appreciated <3 have a nice day!
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ozzgin · 9 months ago
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Due to a rather embarrassing bureaucratic mistake, you - a mere human - have been appointed as the new Death of the Monster Realm. The monster souls are confused (and unexpectedly aroused) to find a small, frail creature as their guide through the Underworld. Content: gender neutral reader, monster romance, collab with Kafka
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“Who the hell are you?”
Before you stands a Beast. Your body is frozen in sheer terror, crumbling under his all-knowing stare. You feel like you’re facing God Himself. Could it be? Have you died? God certainly looked a little more merciful in those Christian depictions.
You swallow dryly and open your mouth, words rolling out clumsily.
“I-…it’s (Y/N). I’ve been told to come in.”
The creature continues to glare at you incredulously before abruptly turning and speeding towards an enormous desk, a sudden realization occurring to him. He throws papers around, as if searching for something, occasionally releasing a thundering curse. Aha! There it is.
He collapses into a chair, head resting in his clawed hands.
“There has been a mistake. You're not supposed to be here", he growls, defeated. "And yet, it can't be fixed."
He scans your features briefly, taking his time and searching for the words.
"Listen, kid. I don't know how to tell you this any better: you're going to be guiding souls into their Afterlife. Monster souls."
You blink.
"Alright. Is there some training for it?"
The Beast is a little taken aback by your nonchalance. Given the extraordinary circumstances, he expected you to cry, beg and scream. Perhaps you won't be such a terrible fit, after all.
"You will learn from me. I am the previously appointed Death, and have been here for the past millennium."
Formalities finally aside, he takes you through the colossal, arched halls, explaining your job through words shrouded in mystery and cosmic terror. You nod and scribble obediently in your little notebook.
Thus begins your task as the new Death of the Monster Realm. A never-before-seen peculiarity: the ferocious, departed creatures are greeted by the small frame of a...human. Their eyes widen in disbelief.
In Monster culture, Death has always been described as the creature above all creatures. A blasphemy of gargantuan dimensions, with many eyes and horns, a pitch-black blight of dread. Even the highest-ranked Monsters shudder upon his arrival.
You wave your hand dismissively. It's the hundredth time today you've received this reaction of utter shock. Let's move on, shall we, you think to yourself sarcastically.
The path to the Gate feels like an eternity. Without exception, the monsters will ask you too many questions. Not about their situation, mind you, about yourself. Are you truly a human? How did you come to be the legendary guidance of souls? What was your life like before this? Surely you must have some interesting stories from your life as a mere mortal.
The former Death stands up from his seat.
"What do you mean, there's an increase in lost souls? Is that damn human not doing their job?" he demands, turning to the servant who'd come to announce the latest statistics.
"They are, Sir. It's just...Well..." the beast is visibly tense. "It's the monsters who don't want to leave."
"And? We've had plenty of those before. Why're they refusing to pass this time?"
The answer is clearly of a sensitive nature. The short, stocky butler fidgets and stumbles, then finally confesses meekly:
"They claim to have fallen in love with the human."
In all his eternity working as the Soul Collector, he'd never imagined such ridiculousness. He'd always been feared and well-respected, performing his task swiftly and without issue. It never occurred to him that he'd have to include as a guidance step "how to handle the monster souls flirting with you." He grabs his scythe and marches outside with an exasperated sigh.
Somehow, he doubts his retirement will come anytime soon.
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[More Monsters]
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fangdokja · 4 months ago
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In the world of the dead, he was the only thing keeping you alive—and tearing you apart.
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♡ Book. A Heart Devoured: A Dark Yandere Anthology
♡ Pairing. Yandere! Zombie Apocalypse! Survivor x Fem. Reader
♡ Oneshot. #1
♡ Word Count. 887
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The world had gone to hell long before he found you—a blight of rotting corpses, the stench of decay clinging to the air like wet fabric. He’d watched cities crumble, mothers devoured by children, lovers split apart by jaws that once kissed. Humanity reduced to a desperate scramble for survival. He’d survived because he was better, stronger, smarter. Not like the others. Not like you.
The first time he saw you, it was through the jagged slats of a broken-down shack—you, filthy, trembling, a pathetic little thing clutching a rusted knife like it could keep the monsters at bay. You didn’t know it then, but the real monster wasn’t outside that door. He let you run, let you think you’d slipped away. He liked the chase. Liked watching your frail little body collapse from exhaustion after days of running. He followed your trail of broken twigs, discarded scraps, bloodied rags. You bled so easily. It excited him.
When he finally cornered you, it wasn’t with the blunt savagery of the infected, but with the calculated precision of a predator. His voice was honeyed, deep and soothing in a way that made your legs quiver despite the terror clamping your chest. “Easy, little one,” he murmured, stepping closer, his towering frame casting a shadow over your crouched form. “I’m not here to hurt you.” A lie, but you didn’t know that yet.
You screamed when he grabbed you. Oh, how you screamed. His hand clamped over your mouth, thick fingers swallowing your cries. “Shh,” he cooed, dragging you against his chest. The muscles there were hard as steel, his arms unyielding as they pinned you to him. “You’re safe now. No more running. No more fighting. Just be good for me.”
You fought, of course you did, but he liked that about you. Liked the way your nails raked against his skin, the fire in your eyes even as tears streaked your dirt-smeared cheeks. It made breaking you all the sweeter.
The place he kept you was dark, damp, a bunker carved out of the earth’s rotting guts. Chains rattled when you moved, the heavy metal cuffs biting into your wrists and ankles. He made sure you couldn’t escape. You’d tried once, crawling like a desperate animal through the narrow tunnel he left unguarded. He found you before you reached the surface. You still remembered the taste of dirt and his boot on your back as he dragged you, screaming and sobbing, back to your prison.
“Disobedient,” he’d called you, his voice like a father’s scolding a wayward child. Then he’d smiled, and that smile was worse than any snarl. “But you’ll learn.”
The days blurred together. He fed you, bathed you, kept you warm with his body when the nights grew cold. “You’re mine now,” he whispered in your ear, his breath hot and heavy. “No one else will touch you. No one else can. They’re all dead, you know. Out there in the dark. In here, it’s just us. Forever.”
Sometimes he was tender, brushing the hair from your face, pressing lips to your forehead like a lover. Other times, he was cruel, tightening his grip around your throat until you saw stars, his teeth sinking into your shoulder as if he wanted to devour you whole.
“You’re so fragile,” he murmured, running a calloused hand down your trembling arm. His fingers stopped at your wrist, pressing just hard enough to feel the thrum of your pulse beneath the paper-thin skin. “So easy to break. But I won’t let you. I’ll keep you safe, even from yourself.”
When you cried, he mocked you for it, his laughter echoing off the stone walls. “Tears won’t save you, my little prey. You’re mine, whether you like it or not.” And yet, when your sobs subsided into quiet sniffles, he cradled you against his chest, rocking you like a child. “Good girl,” he’d croon, his hand stroking your hair. “Good, obedient girl.”
Escape was impossible. He made sure of that. Shackles bound you when he wasn’t there, and when he was, his watchful gaze never left you. Those eyes, sharp and calculating, missed nothing. You learned to fear the tilt of his head, the narrowing of his gaze when you stepped out of line. His punishments were swift and brutal—a backhand that left your cheek throbbing, a hand around your throat until you gasped for air.
And yet, there were moments when he was almost kind. When he brought you clean clothes, when he stroked your cheek and murmured promises of a future where you’d thank him for saving you. “You’ll see,” he said, his voice a low, rumbling purr. “I’m the only one who can love you like this. The only one who will.”
The infected were the least of your worries. The true horror lived in the man who kept you alive, the man who smiled as he reminded you that you belonged to him, body and soul. You learned quickly that resistance was futile. He thrived on your defiance, twisting it into something dark and intimate.
And every time he whispered in your ear, every time his hands claimed you, you wondered if maybe—just maybe—he was right. That in a world gone mad, there was no escape. That he was your salvation. Your damnation. Your everything.
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If you want to be added or removed from the tag list, just comment on the MASTERLIST of A Heart Devoured (AHD): A Dark Yandere Anthology. Thank you.
General TAG LIST of “A Heart Devoured”:
❤︎ Fang Dokja's Books.
♡ Book 1 [you are here]. A Heart Devoured (AHD): A Dark Yandere Anthology
♡ Book 2. Forbidden Fruits (FF): Intimate Obsessions, Unhinged Desires.
♡ Book 3. World Ablaze (WA) : For You, I'd Burn the World.
♡ Book 4. Whispers in the Dark (WITD): Subtle Devotion, Lingering Shadows.
♡ Book 5. Ink & Insight (I&I): From Dead Dove to Daydreams.
♡ Library MASTERPOST 1. The Librarian’s Ledger: A Map to The Library of Forbidden Texts.
♡ Disclaimer. Not all stories are included in the masterpost due to Tumblr’s link limitations. However, most long-form stories can be found here. If you're searching for a specific yandere or theme, this guide will help you navigate The Library of Forbidden Texts. Proceed with caution—these tales explore obsession, madness, and devotion in their rawest forms.
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yan-randomfandom · 5 months ago
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Hii! Could I request a yan! Jinx with a darling who is on hunger strike? (Bacically, darling got kidnapped and so she decided to stop eating till she gets freed...is that even a word?)
Anyways, ty 4 reading my request and I would be really happy if you were to fuffil it <3
Make sure u drink enough water!
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Yandere!Jinx x GN!Starving!Reader
a/n: thank you for your kind words anon! 😺 i just realized how much energy i gave mc here omg 😭🙏
tw; starvation, kidnapped MC ermm
💧 ;
Stubbornness is something both you and Jinx share. It's built into your very core. She knows this, and yet, here we are.
You're tied to a chair, looking away from her with a deep frown on your face—unwilling to eat.
"My sweetest," Jinx groans, dragging out her words. "Darling, baby, angel..." She places her hands on the back of your chair, her breath brushing the tip of your nose—"beloved."
...
You roll your eyes. "It stinks."
With an offended gasp, she recoils from you, her eye twitching. "I— You— Come on! At least I had dinner, but you? You haven't eaten anything for days!"
As if the Gods have a sense of humor, your stomach lets out a loud, drawn-out rumble. It goes on for a few moments... like her hideout wasn't quiet enough already. You have half the heart to glance at Jinx, who's watching you with an unimpressed expression.
Against your better judgment, and despite the deadly stomachache, you don't say anything.
Jinx pushes the bowl of food in front of you. "...Your, uh, stomach's hungry. Please. I just want you to eat—"
"I want you to let me go," you snap, glaring at her. You emphasize your point by rattling the chair with your frail limbs in frustration. "It doesn't help that you tied my arms and legs up. Honestly."
She returns your look, almost clueless. "It didn't have to be that way! You kept trying to escape!"
"I wonder why!!"
An annoyed groan. You can't even tell if it was from you, or her. Maybe both.
...
...
"...I told you I can't," she mutters softly. Not when she started a war.
You scoff and turn away. "Not that you can't. You won't."
Jinx does not reply.
Then, she chuckles. "Still amazin'. All this energy, even in starvation."
...
You press your lips together. Truth be told, you're barely holding it together. You're simply not giving up. Even if it's out of spite. Especially.
She starts walking. The sound of her booted footsteps grows fainter and fainter until, finally—the exit closes.
Jinx left you.
Nothing else accompanies you but the quiet humming and faint lights in her hideout.
Your body seizes the chance to collapse, eyes closing in one blink.
...
The next time you wake up, you grudgingly rub your eyes. A yawn escapes you.
You stretch your body. Your joints pop, relief spreading all across—
Wait.
You sit up from the softest surface you've ever been on in a while. It takes a moment to clear your vision, but once it does, you fall in disbelief.
Lifting your hand, you eye your wrists suspiciously. The patterns of the rope is still visible. But faint. It must have been a while since they were removed.
The chair you've been stuck in for days is gone. Your limbs are untied, finally fucking free from the numbness. A small fan offers a refreshing breeze next to you.
Your heart starts racing.
A whiff of your favorite scent. You perk up.
There's a glass of water filled with ice on the table. Beside it, an irresistible array of food. All your favorite types.
You don't even think twice.
either u try to escape or eat the food—your choice. do both tho cuz u might idk die
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thewitchandtheassassin · 5 months ago
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Life, Death, and the Space in Between Part Three (Agatha Harkness x Reader x Rio Vidal)
Summary: The Road is wild and wicked.
Words: 2277
Warnings: Arguments, talks of death, canon death, language?
A/N: Anything I have to fix, I'll go back and fix later. I am too in love with these characters. You're welcome.
-X-
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Cradling the boy’s head in her lap, Agatha stared at Rio with watery eyes, a recreation of a moment long since passed. “Don’t. Don’t.”
Shrugging casually, your lover peered over the body of the dying Teen, watching thoughtfully as Jen began to attempt to heal him.
You weren’t entirely interested in watching a teenager drift from the mortal plane but something caught your eye and you inched closer, oblivious to Agatha’s noise of warning. One of the gifts you had procured when becoming the goddess of life was the ability to see lifelines. To examine and determine the strands of someone’s very essence. If they were meant to die, or beyond saving outside of celestial intervention, the strands would grow black and shrivel while a healthy lifeline was pure white and strong.
His was -
“What do you see?” Rio breathed, mouth close to your ear as you both stared at Teen.
Unlike Life, Death could not see a lifeline. She relied on Life for such things. She could see souls - spirits, essences; able to reach out and pluck them from their temporary vessels when their time had come. But she could only ever take what was hers to claim; what the cosmos were owed.
“His lifeline is broken.”
She inhaled sharply, gaze shooting up to your profile. “What do you mean?” she demanded.
Turning, you walked away from the group, using the dense forest to shade you from view. Taking a deep breath, you pressed the tips of your fingers together before stretching them apart. Where there should be a plain white cord, frail but solid as Jenn healed Teen, there was instead a cord that was black and blistered in the center. Stretching it further, you could see the beginning of his lifeline up until now.
Rio’s eyes were trained on the white cord. “What…”
“That boy died. Should be dead. That is something more than his heart stopping and then being revived. Otherwise it would’ve healed over. I don’t-” you cut yourself off, staring blankly at the lifeline. “This isn’t natural. Whatever that boy is, he’s-”
“An abomination,” Death’s raspy voice rang out and you glanced at the woman, unsurprised to see skull and bone staring back at you. She shook her head, the visage returning. “He goes against every order of nature. The fact he has escaped his reaping is a slight, and must be corrected.”
“Do you think Agatha knows?” you murmured, watching the coven shift his limp body to a more comfortable space, building a makeshift nest for him. “That there’s something wrong with him.”
“If she’s not certain, she has to suspect,” Rio replied, expression grave. “But she’s using him as a way to handle her grief. Replacing our son with this teenager who shouldn’t exist.”
Studying the white cord, your brows furrowed. Sparks of blue and red flared from it, more red towards the beginning before shifting into mostly blue sparks, something that was completely out of place and unexpected. “Do you see this?”
Reaching out, Rio’s fingers glided off the cord, completely devoid of emotion. “That fucking red witch. He is the reason the Road is real. The son of the Scarlet Witch and their weird reality bending bullshit powers. After the collapse of the Hex, I felt pulled there but I never found what I was searching for. It must’ve been his soul finding a home before I could find him.”
Letting the cord fizzle out in your hands, you pressed your forehead against Rio’s. Her cool breath fanned across your lips, dark eyes nearly black beneath the weight of knowledge and pain.
“I have to take him,” she whispered brokenly. “I have to take another child from her.”
“We should wait. See what becomes of this road.” Your lips brushed over hers, feather light and gentle.
There was sadness filling the space between you, of understanding what must be and what would happen after.
-X-
Sitting around a campfire discussing scars wasn’t exactly your idea of a fun evening but leaning against Rio’s side and watching the fire crackle softened your disdain. These witches weren’t terrible; in fact, you quite liked them all. Lilia was the epitome of a divination witch, her odd outbursts and strange mumblings charming. Alice, a protector who had her whole life ahead of her. Jen, searching for something stolen but making the best of it, even if she was scamming mortals. It would’ve been a shame for them to have died under Agatha’s magic, though you hated how powerless she still was.
Especially on such a dangerous road.
The moment Agatha settled somewhat close to you, all you wanted to do was drink in the warmth of being so close to her again. She told about a knitting needle scar, but you knew the truth. The scar along her elbow was from Nicholas. Or, rather, from the unfortunate pet your young son had managed to charm into coming home with him. That raccoon had taken one look at Agatha and screeched at the top of its lungs. His claws had nicked her elbow as he rushed away, but if she wanted to lie, who were you to judge?
“I have a scar,” Rio piped up, earning identical looks from you and Agatha. Your brow was furrowed, knowing you’d traced every inch of that body with fingers and tongue, but remembering no visible scars.
“No, you don’t,” she argued, and a wave of guilt passed through your bond.
Reaching out, you gripped Rio’s hand as she bowed her head. Her scar was internal. A never-closing wound that just never properly came back together because the thread had been hidden away from sight and nothing else could suture it closed. The kind that itched and burned for all eternity, constantly reminding her of the worst moments of her existence.
Slapping her thighs, Agatha escaped the conversation as soon as Rio finished speaking, skulking off into the forest to catch her breath. You were up and chasing after her seconds later, the green witch hot on your heels. Her back was to you, barely concealed sniffles audible in the silence of The Road.
“Agatha,” you whispered, her back easily meeting your front as you stopped behind her. Your arm encircled her waist, holding her close for the first time in centuries. It was like coming home all over again.
Rio settled in front of her, a cool hand on flushed skin. Her thumb trailed below Agatha’s eye, wiping away the fresh tear.
“That boy –”
Agatha’s face dipped close to Rio’s, breath fanning across it as she inched closer to her mouth. You could see the green witch’s mouth move, telling herself it wasn’t time, and you finished her heartbreaking confirmation.
“He’s not ours,” you whispered regretfully, feeling how Agatha tensed in your embrace.
The energy shift was subtle before Agatha yanked herself from your arms, putting substantial distance between you. She was hugging herself, as if trying to keep herself from crumbling into dust. Holding together the broken slivers of her heart.
“You don’t think I know that?” she hissed furiously, tears clinging to long lashes. “I know my little boy is long gone. Because you let him die.”
Stumbling back as if struck, you glared at Agatha with a fury you didn’t know you possessed. “I didn’t let him die! I kept him alive for years! While that sickness ravaged his body, I was the one pouring magic into Nicky to keep him breathing! You have no idea how many nights he almost left this world, but I broke every rule to sustain him longer. Don’t you dare say I let him die!”
A cool hand touched your shoulder, fingers digging deep into the flesh as Rio’s dark eyes bore into you but you could only see the gaping Agatha in that moment.
“How fucking dare you accuse me of not doing everything I could to keep Nicky here? You were not the only one who loved him. Who still loves him.” You stormed closer to the shivering witch, barely cognizant of the other witches and an unsteady Teen peering around the trees to watch the show.
“And yet he still died,” she spat bitterly, glancing down at your balled fist. “What? Did I strike a nerve? The all-powerful Life still bowing to Death?”
White magic flared around you, illuminating the otherwise darkened forest. There were noises of surprise at the sudden lightshow but you didn’t care.
“Fuck you, Agatha Harkness,” you hissed. “If it doesn’t fit your idea of how things should’ve gone, you refuse to see the truth. I have spent centuries excusing your behavior but all you will ever see is what you want. We’re the villains because you didn’t have the power to save him either!”
The sharp gasp beside you echoed through the pounding in your mind, clearing the red fog clouding your vision.
“You know, the Darkhold told me something about you,” Agatha said coldly, staring deep into your eyes. “You can visit the afterlife. That you can take people there too. Yet you never offered to let me see him again.”
“That’s not how it works.”
“Bullshit! You can walk the line of life and death, and you could have told me. Could have… taken me to him,” she whispered, trembling with grief, thinking about having her little boy tucked into her arms once more.
Rio stepped closer, her hand sliding down to tangle your fingers together, both to soothe your fury and to stop it from becoming something darker. “That book lies, Agatha, and you know it. It shows you what you want to see. You want to see Nicky. So it gave you an answer in hopes of keeping you.”
From the corner of your eye, you saw blue flaring with twitching fingertips. You watched a familiar purple match the dancing blue across the tips of Agatha’s digits and your eyes widened fractionally.
“I cannot bring the living to the afterlife. Anyone who walks into that plane can never leave. It’s the way of the cosmos.” Your voice was tinged in desperation, begging the woman you loved to just… listen. “There’s a price all must pay who enter.”
There was a lull and for a moment, you hoped maybe she was seeing reason, before Agatha lunged at you. Her hand slammed into your chest, purple erupting around you and swallowing your vision. Purple and Agatha and furious, begging eyes.
All you could hear was Rio’s furious, panicked roar, “No!” ringing in your ears before there was…
Nothing.
Then you were falling.
And falling fast.
-X-
Being yanked from one dimension into another plane of existence was jarring. It didn’t happen often, unless you were in a different place than Rio and the universe called you home, but you imagined it was like being tossed headfirst into a blender that was on high.
As your back slammed into solid ground, you groaned low in your throat before slowly looking up at the sky. Or, what should’ve been the sky, except it was replaced with a beautiful, never-ending starlit void. There was no sun here, no moon, but you could see for miles and miles, never needing another light source.
“Oh no.”
Agatha’s limp form was a few feet away from you, but your spirit felt heavy. Neither of you were meant to be here and while you could pass somewhat freely without the imposing threat of danger, the same couldn’t be said for your witch.
“Agatha, get up,” you called out, carefully forcing yourself to an upright position. The astral body was similar but different from the mortal vessel you carried. Here, there was little imperfection, and you were simply the embodiment of Life. As meant to be.
However, Agatha’s had remained perfectly… Agatha.
It was like wading through waist high water to get to her. Hands pulsing white, you touched her shoulder and she jolted up with a gasp. You weren’t sure what such a journey had done to a mortal, but she seemed somewhat coherent – which you supposed was good.
“W-what? Where are we?” she demanded, peering around at the odd scenery of the afterlife as she stood.
“We have to go,” you replied sharply, glowing hand reaching out to grab her wrist but she jerked away, deftly dodging your grip.
“Is this the afterlife? Is he here?” She didn’t wait for your answer before cupping her hands to her mouth. “Nicky! Nicky! Are you here? It’s okay! It’s Mama!”
Waves of pain wracked through your spirit and you watched darkness creeping closer to the foreign entity.
No, no, no. It’s not her time. This isn’t…
Agatha continued screaming, her voice echoing throughout the plane until a long-missed voice called back from the distance, disbelief evident.
“Mama?”
Agatha bolted towards the voice and you watched tendrils of the afterlife chase after her, drawn to the soul still within her body.
Steeling yourself for what was to come; white light seeped from your fingers and filled the space around you, encouraging the darkness towards yourself instead. The sting was immediate and intense as darkness slipped into your body like blades, but you swallowed down the scream.
You promised to protect her.
And so you would.
-X-
Back on the Road, Rio cried out as a hand flew to her chest, the bond between you burning like a fire let loose to rage. Her long quiet heart thumped painfully, following the slowing beats of your own in perfect tandem. Her other hand was cupping your clammy cheek, wiping the sweat and tears falling down your cheeks.
“Oh, my love… what have you done?”
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simplyalicee · 8 months ago
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˚₊‧꒰ა bittersweet ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
Sebastian x GN!reader, angst(?) and fluff
TW: none
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You were tired. Oh, so tired.
Your fraile figure trembled from the unbearable freezing temperature. Your body ached with exhaustion and hunger. When was the last time you had a proper meal? Hours felt like days. You were numb. So much pain, yet you stood. How could you possibly continue with your state? You felt as if you were about to collapse from the pressure.
You wanted to go back. Stop your mission and head back to the surface. But could you risk that potential for freedom? To go back empty-handed and be tossed back in your cell? To risk more years of being falsely incarcerated? No, no you could not. You hadn't seen the light of day for years. It felt like forever since you've last saw your loved ones. You craved their affection, their gentle touch, their words sweet like honey. You missed them so terribly.
Going back was not an option.
Urbanshade made the objective very clear; retrieve the crystal. You weren't disclosed of any other information. You were going into this deadly mission practically blind. You were left to navigate through the destroyed labs and risk your life with dangerous creatures with the thirst of blood and malice. It always amazed yet terrified you of how capable every entity was.
Speaking of... what was that sound?
You heard the faint sounds of something— screaming? No, it didn't sound like screaming. But whatever it was, time ran shorter as the room shook, knocking drawers and other objects down to the ground. Glass shattered on the ground. You grew frantic of this new presence and rushed to the nearest locker. You crammed yourself inside and closed your eyes tightly, bracing yourself for an angler fish to swoop by.
But it wasn't an angler fish.
Instead, you were met with pounding against the locker doors. You shook with the locker and, fortunately, instinctively dug your bruised fingers into the opening slits of the locker. You opened your eyes to see an entirely new entity— all you could see were the many eyes that burned through your soul. You could feel your heart race as this new creature kept pounding on the locker, aching to reach you. Tears streamed down your face. Your grip loosened. You fought to keep up and keep the doors closed, but your exhaustion was catching up quicker.
As the doors were slammed against one final time, your fingers gave up and ceased proper functioning. You lost your grip. The locker shook once more and you closed your eyes. You prepared yourself to be met with nothing but cold, stinging death. You took what you thought was your last breath and murmured a goodbye.
But nothing happened.
Intrigued, you open your eyes and saw nothing. Was it already gone? You couldn't tell, but your heart pounded the longer you stayed inside. You quickly hopped out and took deep breaths to calm yourself. What was that thing? What did it want? Dumb question, it wanted you dead. Everything down here wanted you dead. But you tried not to think about that too much.
Once calmed down, you looked around your surroundings, noting the new hazards laid before you. You were so tired. You wanted to rest so badly. But rest was not an option here. You had researchers that needed your help, unfortunately. With a sigh, you forced your aching body through the doors and continued your path.
Foot after foot, breath after breath, you really were unsure if you'd make it out alive. You were deprived of food, sleep, and warmth. Not to mention that there were more ponds of water to swim through than anticipated. You were soaked. And, with the harsh coldness burning your exposed skin, you were left numb and pained. The urge to cry became strong but you were simply too weak to cry.
Come door 50, you were met with another dark room. Wonderful. Your flashlight was nearly out of juice and other light sources you had on you were dead. So much for savoring light. You decided to try to save the remaining battery power and venture through the darkness. Each footstep inside made you more paranoid of those squiddles. Those horrific faces that would burn into you if you dared to flash your light or come close.
Alas, as your paranoia was at an all-time high, you heard a voice call out to you.
"Hey friend, over here."
You shrieked and jumped from the sudden break of silence. Oh no, was tnis your demise? You couldn't tell anymore. But judging from whoever just spoke to you actually communicated with you through language instead of aggression, you were quick to get moving to find the source. Now was the good time to use the flashlight. You turned the light on and cautiously waved the light around. You found more desks, the usual. But a vent caught your eye. Maybe it came from there? You were uncertain, but it was better than being out here. With a mumble, you got down to your knees and crawled through the tight space.
The path wasn't long, and thank heavens that there was some decent lighting up ahead. You crawled and made your way into a decently big room. But that's not what caught your eye, obviously. As you stood up and began dusting yourself, your eyes met some... thing? Unimaginable. Your jaw dropped. This creature was huge, possibly 20 to 30 times bigger than you. You couldn't help but stare at his features; pale blue skin, his eyes glowing a soft cyan, his black hair that looked soft to the touch, his attire covering his upper body; you couldn't help but be both amazed and petrified.
"Welcome, new friend! Don't be afraid, I'm not going to hurt you. My name is Sebastian, your only friend." His voice was oddly warm and welcoming, but you knew to not underestimate him over some hospitality. You were very small compared to him.
Sebastian opened his mouth to continue but stopped himself almost immediately. You were confused for a moment, not aware that you were slowly slumping to the ground. You were trying to pay attention and had not realized your own body was giving up on you. And Sebastian was no idiot. He could easily tell you weren't well. And before you knew it, your knees buckled below you, causing you to slip and crash down on the floor. Consciousness slipped mere seconds after.
Sebastian stared down at you for a short moment. He was clearly dumbfounded, had he not expected this outcome. He could just leave you be on the cold surface. But instead, he slowly reached his hands out and carefully picked you up. You were so small, so fragile. So tired and numb. Sebastian frowned, knowing there wasn't much he could do. He felt your cold state and shivered.
"You're colder than ice," he murmured under his breath. In a way, he kind of felt bad. There were no blankets around, so Sebastian resorted to carefully holding you in his arms to keep you warm. He kept you close to him as his eyes examined your state. He simply sighed and shook his head. Why go this far for you? You might as well be someone ungrateful, right? His thoughts rushed through his head but yet kept you in his arms regardless. Eventually, he gave up and sighed.
"You owe me," he mumbled under his breath and covered you with his jacket before leaning himself against the wall. He couldn't believe he was doing this for you. So ungrateful.
Although, he hadn't had something to hold in a little while. So maybe this wasn't so bad after all.
☆☆☆☆☆☆
Written closely to lore, writer is tired.
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soulessjourney · 7 months ago
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Shattered Bonds
A/N: I'm back after a very much long needed break! Between starting a new job and graduating, things have been super hectic. So, why not come back with an angsty fanfic with Azriel? I also may or may not be working on the long-awaited part 2 of 'Exile'.
Paring: Azriel x fem!Reader
Word count: 3.2k
Summary: After being injured in battle, Azriel is consumed by guilt. But when you finally wake, you're confronted with the harsh reality that perhaps you were always replaceable.
Warnings: Violence, Language, hurt no comfort, Azriel lowkey is a dick, Injured Reader, Angst, Duel(ish) POV, Mentions of pregnancy
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Death and smoke fill your lungs. A sticky substance clings to your skin, though at this point, you're unsure if it’s yours or someone else’s. Metal clashes against metal, and your hands sting from both the vibration and the rawness caused by gripping the sword's hilt. You pivot on your foot, turning quickly to keep up with your opponent, your blades moving at lightning speed. Then, you feel a foot slam into your stomach, sending you flying backward across the rough brick ground. The surface tears into your skin like tiny knives, shredding your clothes in the process.
You scramble to your feet, your eyes darting around for your attacker. Instead, they land on a blue glow and dark hair. Azriel. But before you can process this, a sharp pain stabs your side. Gasping, you turn and plunge your sword into your attacker, your eyes blazing with fury. You lock onto the wide eyes of your victim just as another sharp pain strikes your stomach. Looking down, you see something silver protruding from your abdomen.
Green wisps shoot out from you, your lip curling as blood dribbles from the corner of your mouth. You drive the sword deeper into him as he begins to gag, foam forming at the edges of his mouth. You watch as he collapses to the ground, clawing at his neck before eventually falling still. Staggering back, you wince at the ever-growing burn in your abdomen, the green wisps swirling as if seeking something.
You fall back against the crumbling building behind you, sliding down the wall as you tilt your head back, feeling the weight of your exhaustion. Your vision blurs, your mind hazy, as you clutch your stomach, finding it harder and harder to keep your eyes open. A red glow catches your attention, and someone sprints toward you, dropping to their knees, unsure hands hovering over your wound.
“Cassian?” Your voice is frail, barely a whisper. If your mother could hear you now, she’d be laughing in pure disappointment.
Cassian smiles down at you and gently brushes the hair from your face. “Hey there, Bug. Hang on for me, alright? Azriel is coming.” You smile at the nickname he gave you when you were younger, back when you had an obsession with ladybugs.
Nodding, you close your eyes and lean into him. “It hurts, Cass,” you mumble, wincing as you shift, trying to find some comfort.
“I know, I know. But you did such a good job,” he whispers, combing your hair back before pressing his hands firmly against your wound to stem the bleeding.
The world around you seems to darken, and you glance up to meet the eyes of your mate. Smiling weakly, you reach out to him. “Hey, Az,” you whisper as your eyes flutter closed. His horrified expression tells you everything—the wound isn’t something that can be easily fixed. In other words, it’s a "you might die" kind of wound. Joy.
Azriel looked pale, and you didn’t miss the way his eyes widened. He gently pulls you toward him, holding you close as his thumb strokes softly across your cheek. His gaze darts around frantically before locking onto Cassian.
“We need to get her back. She’s not going to survive. Let Rhys and the others know,” he says, urgency clear in his voice.
Leaning into him, you feel the comforting embrace of his shadows surrounding you. Your eyes grow heavy, and before long, sleep overtakes you.
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Azriel paced around the room as you lay motionless in the bed. Every glance at you gnawed at his heart, guilt consuming him. His shadows hadn't left your side, hovering as if trying to heal you somehow. His pacing came to an abrupt stop when his brothers and Madja entered the room. Azriel didn’t miss the more somber expressions they wore, and even Madja's eyes seemed duller than before.
He turned to them, desperation shining in his gaze. “Well? What did Madja say?” he asked, his voice tight with anxiety. Cassian and Rhysand exchanged a look, as if communicating silently. Cassian nodded, then pursed his lips before facing Azriel.
“Well, there’s a chance Y/N could make it,” Cassian said gently.
Azriel felt as though his ears were ringing. A chance. Just a chance that you might wake up and survive. It wasn't a guarantee, only a possibility. His frustration boiled over. “What the hell is that supposed to mean? Can’t we do something to wake her? If not, why did we even bring her back?” he spat, his shadows retracting toward him, draping over his shoulders like a dark cape.
Madja shook her head as she finished changing the dressing on your wounds. “We’ve done all we can, boy. It's her fight now. I suggest you stay here—if she wakes, the first thing she’ll want is her mate,” Madja said, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. “You need to be there for her, as she has been for you countless times.”
With that, she nodded to the brothers and quietly left the room, the door clicking softly behind her.
Azriel clenched and unclenched his fists, glaring at the ground. Cassian, already knowing what his brother was about to say, gently gripped his shoulder. “It’s not—”
“But it is my fault," Azriel snapped. "She wanted to stay behind and protect Feyre and the others, and I convinced her to come because I couldn’t bear to be away from her for so long. She was unsure of her skills, and I talked her into it. I’m to blame for all of this. I almost got my mate killed.” He spun, his gaze shifting between his brothers and you.
Rhysand sighed, pushing off the wall he had been leaning against. “Az, Cassian’s right. You can’t blame yourself for this. Y/N was already set on coming. She talked to me about it—she was worried about you and didn’t want to leave you stranded in battle while she stayed behind.”
Azriel let out a low growl, his siphons flashing, causing Cassian to tense. “Either way, I couldn’t protect her. And now look at her—she’s fighting for her life, and I don’t know if she’ll ever wake up.” He stepped closer to you, sinking into the chair beside your bed and gently taking your hand. “Just give me some time alone. I need to think while still being here for her,” he whispered, his eyes fixed on your chest, searching for any sign of your shallow breathing.
Cassian opened his mouth to respond, but Rhysand placed a hand on his shoulder and shook his head. Silently, Cassian closed his mouth, turned on his heel, and walked out of the room, Rhysand following close behind. The door clicked shut, leaving Azriel alone in the deafening silence.
Azriel let his eyes trace over your face, as if committing every feature, every imperfection to memory. Gently, he ran his fingers through your hair and pressed his lips to the back of your hand. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I should’ve stayed by your side, like you asked. I shouldn’t have fought with you about it. You needed me, and I turned my back on you, and this is the result.”
He felt like a danger to you. Even if you survived, he believed he would only continue to put you in harm's way. You could never have a peaceful life with him. All he wanted was for you to be safe and happy, but he’d failed when it mattered most. You were his entire universe, and yet he couldn’t protect you. He had convinced himself that by staying by his side, you would never be safe—that he didn’t deserve you, not if it meant you ended up like this.
The door creaked open, and Elain poked her head in, glancing around. Stepping in, she cleared her throat softly. “Oh, Azriel, I didn’t realize you’d be here. I thought you were still with Madja and the others,” she said gently. Noticing his gaze on the moon lilies, she smiled and approached the table next to your bed. “Moon lilies. They were her favorite. For a while, I thought she was going to take over the whole garden with them. Luckily, I talked her into taking over the area by the pond. It’s beautiful with the flowers there,” Elain said, smiling down at you.
Azriel looked up at Elain, his expression unreadable. Letting go of your hand, he stood and cleared his throat. “Speaking of the flowers, I saw you loading the cart earlier. I assume you’re making rounds around Velaris to hand them out. Would you like some help?” he asked, his voice even.
Their eyes met, and Elain studied him for a moment, as if searching for the intent behind his offer. After a brief hesitation, she nodded and motioned toward the door.
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You pace around the room, your leathers hugging you tightly. Nesta had spent hours wrestling with your hair, her shaky hands finally managing to braid it back. She’d have a fit if she saw the strands that had already fallen loose. Chewing on your nail, your gaze snaps to Azriel, who watches you from the bed. “I don’t know about this, Az. We still don’t know what I’m capable of. What if I hurt the wrong person?” you ask, your pacing quickening slightly.
Azriel huffs as he continues sharpening Truth-Teller. “Stop worrying so much. It’s war, Y/N. Accidents are going to happen. You can’t always prevent them. One day, you’ll have to face the reality of what you can do and accept it. I can’t always be there to shield you from the harsh truths.” His tone is sharp, and it brings you to an abrupt halt.
“I’m not asking you to shield me, Azriel. I’m asking you to be there if I lose control,” you push back, crossing your arms over your chest. Azriel tenses at the use of his full name.
Setting the dagger in his lap, he turns to face you. “And I can’t do that. My place is by Rhysand’s side, and you know that. I can’t abandon him just to keep you safe all the time. This is your chance to learn how to handle things on your own for once.”
A dry laugh escapes you, and you throw your hands up in frustration. “I never asked you to abandon him, Azriel! You were the one who insisted I come with you—especially when we don’t know what I’m capable of or that I can’t control these abilities yet. So, I’m sorry if I’m a little scared,” you say, your voice catching.
Azriel scoffs as he stands, gathering his things. “Well, I’m sure you’ll figure it out, Y/N. And if not, just don’t die. We don’t need more problems weighing down the court.” His words hit you like a blow, leaving you speechless, your mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. Taking your silence as an answer, Azriel turns his back and walks out of the room, leaving you standing there, staring at the door.
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Your eyes snap open as a rush of air fills your lungs. Choking, you cough violently, feeling a hand on your back, rubbing soothing circles. Your body tenses at the unfamiliar touch, and you instinctively jerk back, putting distance between yourself and the unknown figure.
“Hey, hey, it’s me. It’s okay,” a familiar voice reassures. As your vision clears, you find yourself face to face with Cassian, his frown deepening at your reaction.
Relaxing slightly, you offer him a small smile and shift back into your original position. “Where’s Azriel?” you ask, noticing something flicker in his eyes, though you can’t quite identify the emotion. Maybe you weren’t fully awake enough to process it. Glancing around the room, you spot a few vases of dead flowers and a subtle change in the decor. Confusion clouds your face. “Cassian, how long have I been asleep?”
Cassian clears his throat, looking away as he gathers his thoughts. “It’s been about ten months,” he finally says.
It feels like a jolt of electricity surges through you. Ignoring his protests, you slide out of bed and limp toward the window. “Ten months? How—what—there’s no way,” you mutter, staring at your reflection in the glass. You turn your head from side to side, inspecting your appearance. Your face had slimmed significantly, and your eyes were slightly sunken. You still looked like yourself, but there was something off, something different. “Cassian, where is Azriel? Is he on a mission?”
Cassian sighs, running a hand over his face as he averts his gaze once again. “It’s better if I show you rather than tell you,” he mutters, glaring toward the door. “Get cleaned up, and once you’re ready, we’ll head downstairs,” he says, moving to sit on one of the couches. “I’ll wait here. Take your time.”
Nodding slowly, you turn toward the bathroom and walk in to bathe. You were somewhat clean, but it was clear they had only managed to wash the areas they could reach with a small towel. At least they had taken care of you, in some way. Stepping into the bath, you sink into the water, staring blankly at the wall. Ten months. You had been in that state for ten months, leaving your family to wait and worry.
Your thoughts drift to Azriel. Why hadn’t he been there when you woke? Why did the other end of the bond feel so empty and cold?
Sucking in a deep breath, you tug on the bond, holding it tight as you wait for a response. But when none comes, your heart clenches. Panic sets in as you hurriedly finish bathing and dressing. Throwing the door open, you face Cassian. “Has something happened to Azriel? Is he alright?”
Cassian lets out a dry snort and stands. “Yeah, something happened,” he mutters, offering you his arm. Taking it, you shoot him a confused look as the two of you walk together. “Don’t worry, you’ll find out soon enough.”
As you and Cassian descend the stairs, the sounds of laughter, clinking glasses, and silverware fill the air. A soft smile tugs at your lips as you step into the room. Mor is the first to notice you, her eyes brimming with tears as she suddenly stands and rushes toward you, pulling you into a tight embrace.
“Please don’t tell me this is a dream,” she rasps, clinging to you.
You and Mor had always been like sisters. Growing up surrounded by the boys, her arrival in your life had been a blessing.
“It’s not a dream,” you whisper, hugging her back just as tightly. But after a few moments, you feel Mor tense, as if she suddenly remembered something. She pulls away, giving you a sad smile that only deepens your confusion. As you look around the room, everyone avoids your gaze, though a palpable tension hangs in the air, laced with something like anger.
Your eyes shift between them, trying to understand, until they finally land on Azriel. He sits frozen, fork midair, eyes wide, body rigid. Next to him, Elaine quickly looks away, nervously biting her lip—a habit she had whenever she felt guilty about something.
“Azriel?” you call out, your voice trembling slightly. The sound of his name seems to snap him out of his stupor, and he drops his fork, spilling his drink onto Elaine’s lap.
Elaine stands abruptly, and your eyes widen in shock. Before you, a very pregnant Elaine rises, her hand instinctively resting on her belly. Your gaze travels downward, catching the glint of a ring on her finger. “You and Lucien finally made it official?” you ask, a smile breaking across your face. “I’m so happy for you!” You laugh, but the sound dies quickly when you notice everyone else’s glances shifting toward Azriel.
That’s when you see it—something you had somehow missed before. On his finger, where he once wore the engagement ring meant for you, sits a wedding band, one that matches Elaine’s.
A chill runs down your spine as your eyes snap back to his. The room feels suddenly colder, and you feel the ground give way beneath you.
“No…” you whisper, your vision blurring as the weight of it all crashes down on you.
The ring on your finger suddenly felt like it was searing into your skin, and you blinked rapidly, trying to stop the tears from falling. "This is a joke, right? Some sick prank you both decided to pull?" When silence met your words, the rage inside you began to swell, and your breathing quickened. "So you’re telling me that while I was fighting for my life, you were out here screwing Elain, and somewhere along the way, you got married—and the best part? She’s pregnant?"
Something snapped inside you, and from the corner of your eye, you saw green wisps materialize, curling around you like tendrils of raw power.
Rhysand stood abruptly, and Cassian shifted closer to Nesta, instinctively protective. “Y/N, you need to breathe. I understand you're angry, but this isn’t the place to test your abilities after being asleep for ten months,” Rhysand said, trying to calm you.
You shook your head, fists clenched. “You want me to calm down? My supposed mate left me to rot in that room, just so he could chase after Elain. He abandoned me and every promise he made! I didn’t ask to be in that room—I didn’t ask to get hurt. So why should I bow down to your request when the real traitor is right here in front of all of you!”
With a final burst of fury, a smoky green tendril shot out, aimed directly at Azriel and Elain. His shadows barely blocked the blow. Elain screamed, curling in on herself to protect her stomach, while Azriel staggered back, overwhelmed by the torrent of emotions surging through the bond. The betrayal, the hurt, the rage—all of it hit him like a wave, causing him to drop to his knees, gasping for breath.
You stepped closer, looming over him, and pulled the ring from your finger, letting it fall to the ground in front of him. Azriel picked it up without hesitation, his eyes wide with guilt.
"Don’t look at me like that, Azriel. It makes you look pathetic," you spat. "You chose this the moment you left me in that room to chase after Elain. After 200 years together, I was never going to compare to her, even as your mate. You’ve made it clear, Azriel—I’m replaceable."
You took a step back, but Azriel’s hand shot out, catching yours in desperation. “Y/N, you don’t understand—you can’t do this. Please don’t leave me,” he pleaded, his voice broken, his face twisted with regret.
Seeing him on his knees, begging—it made you feel sick.
You pulled your hand away, standing tall as the green tendrils swirled and coiled around you, making you seem larger than life. "I can, because you left me to die the moment you chose Elain over me. You made your bed, Azriel—now lie in it. Don’t bother looking for me, because if you do, I’ll do everything in my power to destroy you."
With those final words, you turned and walked out, leaving behind your family, your home, and every happy memory you once held dear. All that was left was anger and a thirst for vengeance.
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A/N: I do hope you guys enjoyed! It may not be the best after a long time away, but I figured it was a great way to finally make my comeback after so long!
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rastronomicals · 1 year ago
Audio
4:05 PM EDT April 1, 2024:
As I Lay Dying - “Song 10” From the album Frail Words Collapse (July 1, 2003)
Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm
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shaiyasstuff · 25 days ago
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wilted promises | sylus | chapter 2
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synopsis : Sylus once vowed to love and protect you, but love, like flowers left untended, withered beneath the weight of silence and duty. In the hollow halls of your shared home, he watched as you faded—slowly, quietly—until the day you collapsed, slipping between life and death like a ghost of the woman you once were. Now, with regret heavy in his chest and your absence suffocating, he is left grasping at wilted promises, wondering if love, once lost, can ever bloom again.
content : non-canon!, marriage!AU, self-loathing(?), ANGST with little comfort(?), reader goes insane, set in somewhat victorian era, painter!reader, childhood lovers, sylus is a noble.
writer’s note : I wrote this because I wanted to put some of Sylus’ perspective. I thought it’d be interesting. Enjoy :D @phisen btw hereee you goo xd
parts : one | two
quote : "The saddest moments come when we realize the time we’ve lost cannot return." - unknown.
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“I promised to protect you, to love you, to stand by your side—yet here you are, shattered by my own hands. Tell me, how do I live with that?”
It had been years since that first promise—the one he made while holding a datura to you, vowing to protect you, to love you, for all eternity.
He still remembers the way your eyes shone with trust and belief.
But the weight of his family’s expectations and the harshness of reality have stolen those promises from both of you.
He never wanted it to be like this; he never intended for the love you shared to rot beneath layers of indifference.
He knows he’s been cold, distant and cruel.
But every word he says, every action he takes, was all to protect you.
At least, that’s what he told himself.
To Sylus, in some twisted sense of belief, he thought pushing you away, if he made you hate him, it’s because the world was cruel.
He couldn’t bear the thought of seeing you hurt by its sharp edges.
He became cruel because he thought that would shield you from the storms he’s endured.
Because he would rather you hate him than face the reality of a world that doesn’t care about you.
He couldn’t bear to let you in, to let you see just how broken he’s become, how trapped he was by expectations that were never his to begin with.
Perhaps that was his biggest mistake.
Every time he saw you, he sees the woman who once believed in him, who trusted him to keep his promises.
And he dies a little more inside.
He promised you forever.
And forever, he will protect you—from the world and from himself.
Because for him, he never stopped loving you.
—•
The car screeched into the emergency bay, tires screaming as he barely managed to pull it to a stop.
He threw the door open, his breath ragged, his hands trembling as he pulled your frail form from the passenger seat.
You were too light. Too cold.
His heart pounded against his ribs as he carried you through the hospital doors, his grip on you desperate, his mind spiraling.
“Not like this. Please, not like this.”
“Help!” His voice was raw, the sharp edge of panic bleeding through as he staggered into the corridor.
A group of nurses rushed toward him.
“She’s losing too much blood.”
The words rang in his ears like a death sentence.
The gurney wheeled past him, hands pulling you away from him, and all he could do was stand there, frozen, useless.
A doctor turned to him, frowning. “Has she been unwell recently?”
His breath caught.
“She… she just started to paint,” he choked out, his own voice foreign to him. “She’s barely been eating, but I never—” His throat closed. He swallowed against the rising panic. “I didn’t think it was this bad.”
The doctor’s expression didn’t change. He simply nodded, signaling his team to move faster.
Minutes felt like hours.
The walls were too white. Too quiet.
Sylus stood there, gripping the edge of the counter, his knuckles bone-white, watching them work on you.
His hands shook. His stomach churned.
“How did I let it get this bad?”
The doctor returned, face solemn.
“We’ve stabilized her for now, but she’s in critical condition. She’s severely malnourished, and there’s internal damage from the blood loss.”
The words hit like a hammer.
“We need to run tests, but it’s too soon to tell how this will play out.”
The words faded out.
“Can I see her?” His voice was barely a whisper.
The doctor shook his head. “Not yet.”
The world blurred at the edges.
He could only watch you being taken away, limp and lifeless.
His blood ran cold.
He didn’t deserve you.
He never had.
He whispered to the empty hallway, his voice breaking.
“I’m sorry.”
“I didn’t protect you. I didn’t love you like I should have. But please—don’t leave me.”
He didn’t know if you could hear him, but he didn’t care.
He needed you to know.
He needed you.
—•
Sylus watched as you consigned your art to the flames.
Your movements were steady, calm in a way that unsettled him.
He remembered how you used to speak of your paintings with quiet passion, how your eyes would glow with pride as you lingered over every brushstroke.
He’d thought the portraits were your sanctuary, the only place you could escape him, escape this life.
And now, you were burning them.
“Why?”
The question left him before he could stop it, rough and strained.
You didn’t look at him. Didn’t pause. Another painting slipped into the fire, its edges curling, the flames devouring it.
“Because I don’t need them anymore,”
Your voice low, steady. Final.
“They were only ever reminders of what I could never have.”
Your words struck harder than any accusation.
Sylus felt something twist in his chest, a confusion that spiraled into guilt.
He wanted to stop you.
Wanted to pull the paintings from the fire.
Wanted to say something, anything.
But he stood still.
Frozen. Watching.
Your voice was cold, resolute.
“Everything can burn for all I care.”
The flames crackled between you, licking at the remnants of what once was.
And for a fleeting moment, he wondered if you meant more than just the paintings.
If you meant him, too.
But he said nothing.
Because deep down, he already knew the answer.
—•
Sylus sat in the sterile waiting room, staring blankly at the door to your room.
His fists trembled at his sides.
The weight of everything—his mistakes, his cruelty—pressed down on him, suffocating.
He felt helpless, unable to undo the damage he had caused.
“What have I done?”
The question repeated in his mind, mocking him.
His guilt was overwhelming, gnawing at him like a constant ache.
He had pushed you to this point, broken the woman he loved with his pride, his anger, his neglect.
And now you lay there, unconscious, fighting for a life he had destroyed.
He ran a hand through his hair, frustration rising as he fought back tears.
“Please wake up.”
He was desperate.
He couldn’t lose you—not like this, not after everything.
His regret gnawed at him, bitter and relentless.
Every moment of your marriage felt like a failure now, a cruel joke played on both of you.
When the nurse appeared, her calm demeanor only made him feel worse.
“She’s stable,” she said, but it didn’t matter.
Stability wasn’t enough.
He collapsed back into the chair, his chest tight. All he could do was wait, pray, and beg for forgiveness in silence.
Then the phone rang.
He didn’t need to look at the caller ID to know who it was.
“Where in the world have you been?! You haven’t been answering your messages,”
His mother.
“And what’s this nonsense about your wife? You need to pull yourself together.”
His father’s voice joined in, colder than ever.
“You’ve made a mess of things, boy. Marrying her was a disgrace to this family. A commoner. We raised you better than this.”
He hadn’t thought about their disapproval in weeks.
The shame they’d cast on him for marrying someone beneath their social status, their constant insistence on duty and legacy, had been a constant pressure from the start.
“She’s not just a commoner,” Sylus muttered, but his voice faltered, barely a whisper.
The words felt hollow, like they didn’t even matter anymore.
The reality was, he didn’t know what he had expected from them.
Understanding?
Compassion?
But instead, all he received was disdain.
“You’re throwing away your life for someone who can’t even stand on her own two feet!” his father barked.
“You owe it to the family to move past this and fix the mess you’ve made.”
Sylus’ hand tightened on the phone.
His knuckles were white, and for a moment, he felt his anger flare.
They didn’t understand. They couldn’t.
They didn’t know the woman he’d married—the one who had filled his life with color, with warmth, with purpose.
“Watch your tongue,” he growled, his voice raw.
“Do not act like you know me.”
There was a long silence on the other end.
“This charade cannot go on. If she remains in that state, then tell me, what purpose does she even serve?” She didn’t even pretend to care.
“You will be at the family gathering next week. I will not ask again. Do not make me come find you.”
The line went dead.
He sat there in the oppressive silence, the phone still pressed to his ear, staring at the empty room around him.
They hadn’t cared about her, or about him, in years.
Everything was about status, about their own wealth and image, and he had foolishly believed they could ever understand the depth of what he had with her.
His stomach turned as the reality settled over him.
The love he had once taken for granted now felt like an isolated island in a sea of cold indifference.
He wanted to scream, to shout at the void, but he just sat there instead, feeling small, helpless, and utterly alone.
Tears threatened to fall, but he swallowed them back, blinking them away.
How did we get here?
The silence that followed was deafening, and he could feel the weight of his family’s expectations pressing down on him.
In the end, they didn’t care.
His marriage, his life, none of it mattered.
It was all about the name, the title, the legacy.
Could he fix what he had broken?
Could he?
The weight of his family’s expectations was suffocating, a constant, invisible force that had shaped every decision, every move he made.
They had built a future for him, a legacy he was expected to uphold, to continue.
Their voices, their unyielding demands, had always been in the back of his mind, a chorus of what he should be, who he should become.
But in the quiet of the hospital room, as he frowned at your unmoving body, lifeless and vulnerable, he realized the cost of it all.
The life he had imagined for both of you, the woman he had once loved so deeply, had been crushed under the pressure of his obligations.
The weight of his family’s approval had turned him into someone who could barely recognize himself.
He had traded your warmth, your love, for the cold, suffocating grip of duty.
He had always told himself that the sacrifices he made were for you, that he was doing it for your future, for your happiness.
But now, seeing you in this state, he understood the truth.
He had destroyed everything you once had, all for the approval of people who would never understand what he had lost.
The guilt gnawed at him, relentless, as he held your hand, praying you would wake up.
Every breath you took felt like a thread he was desperately clinging to, and in that moment, he hated himself.
He hated what he had become.
He had let his family dictate his choices, and in doing so, he had ruined the one thing that ever truly mattered—you.
“I failed you,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “I’m so sorry.”
Sylus sat by your bedside, his hand trembling as it rested lightly on yours.
The sterile smell of the hospital, the beeping of machines, the bright, harsh lights above—it all felt so foreign, so wrong.
His mind was a mess of thoughts, of guilt, of sorrow.
Sylus buried his face in his hands, the overwhelming weight of his regret threatening to crush him.
“Why can’t I stop hurting you?”
His breath came in short gasps, his chest tight as though the very air had thickened with guilt.
“Please, stop,” he muttered, his voice breaking. “Please, just stop.”
But the memories didn’t listen. They flooded him, relentless, suffocating.
He saw you again, standing in the garden, your hands trembling as you held a single datura flower.
“..stop..”
The plea, broken and fragile, echoed in his ears like a haunting song.
He could hear it over and over again, your voice shaking as he crushed your beloved flowers.
“…please..” you had begged him, and he hadn’t cared.
He wanted to hurt you.
The image twisted in his mind.
He saw you crumpled on the floor, the broken flower petals around you, your heart shattered like the fragile stems you’d nurtured.
“No!” Sylus shouted, slamming his fists into the armrests of the chair.
But the memories surged forward, unstoppable.
He saw your pale face in the dim light of your home, the hurt in your eyes as he had spat those cruel words at you.
“I don’t want them to know I’m married to an ugly woman like you.”
He remembered you recoiling, the pain flashing across your face as the reality of his cruelty set in.
But instead of stopping, he had hardened, refusing to let you see the cracks in his own heart.
He clenched his fists, a shudder wracking his body.
“I didn’t see you,” he whispered to himself.
“I didn’t see… what I had. What I was losing.”
His mind flashed to your wedding day, your first slow dance in that abandoned chapel, the way you had glowed with joy.
You had believed in him.
“I will always protect you,”
He had promised you.
But somewhere along the way, he had forgotten the weight of that promise.
The memories were suffocating, choking him.
“Stop, please… I can’t take it anymore.”
But they didn’t stop.
They kept coming.
Every word, every action, every moment of cruelty.
He could feel his heart breaking with each one.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
His voice cracked as the memories flooded him, his words slipping into the empty room, as if hoping you could hear him, that you could somehow know he had finally realized the truth.
Then another memory.
“I’ll cherish this datura until I die.”
The voice of the girl he’d once known—the one who had laughed easily and followed him everywhere, her joy as bright as the sun. The girl who had trusted him without question.
“You’re the worst!”
The memory strikes like a blade, sharp and unrelenting.
Back then, he had only laughed, dismissing your words as playful frustration—a harmless jest from the days when love was simple, unburdened by the weight of what was to come.
It had been routine.
You would pout, he would tease, and the world felt lighter, wrapped in the warmth of childhood’s fleeting innocence.
But now, the memory feels different. Heavier. Bitter.
There is no laughter, no teasing, no safety in the past. The words that once meant nothing now cut deeper than any blade.
Because now, he understood.
He really is the worst.
The worst man to stand beside you.
The worst person to bear the title of the one who was supposed to love and protect you.
And worst of all, he had let it happen.
“Enough.” His voice cracked as he sank deeper into his hands, as it would block them out, the guilt, the shame.
But you cannot turn back time, can you?
He wondered when exactly that promise had been broken—when the boy who vowed to protect you became the man who let you drown in the depths of his cruelty and neglect.
The weight of that memory pressed against his chest, suffocating and relentless.
He had promised to save you, and yet, there you were, drowning in the coldness he had wrapped around you like a shroud.
And he had stood by, he watched, doing nothing.
It wasn’t just the past that haunted him.
It was the knowledge that somewhere along the line, he had stopped being your saviour and had become the very storm pulling you under.
But it was too late now, wasn’t it?
Too late to reach out. Too late to offer his hand.
—•
The dim light from the single lamp flickered, casting long shadows across the studio, and Sylus felt the weight of it all.
The suffocating air of regret and remorse clung to the walls like a heavy fog.
Your paintings, once a reflection of your love and joy had turned into a grotesque reflection to your agony, each brushstroke a cry he had never heard until it was too late.
The thought of how far you had fallen because of his cruelty tore at him.
His gaze fell on the last canvas you’d worked on, the most twisted of them all.
The datura’s petals stretched like fingers.
Your blood, now cold and dried, had splashed all over it.
He could almost hear you cackle in his mind, a hollow, sarcastic laughter, mocking him.
“Do you like it? Is this what you wanted?”
The question lingered in his mind, reverberating with every beat of his heart.
His fingers twitched at his sides, he wanted to destroy the canvases, to rip them down, to erase the painful reminders.
But he couldn’t. Not this time.
He already tore your flowers apart once.
“..what..what did you..”
He ran his hand over his face in despair.
“…what did you see in me…?”
His voice cracked beneath it all, as he stared at the countless datura piled in the studio, the cacophony of red laughing at him, mocking him.
His gaze then fell on something different, something that stood out starkly against the sea of dark red.
A sliver of light caught his attention, something vibrant, full of life.
The colours of warm oranges, soft purples, and golden yellows seemed to glow in the dimly lit room.
The contrast was so jarring that it felt as if the painting was screaming at him, begging him to see it.
When he finally pulled it free, his breath caught in his throat.
Two figures, so young, so full of hope.
The field bathed in the golden light of a sunset, the two of you standing side by side, hands intertwined, holding daturas in your hands as you smiled at each other.
The painting was a reflection of everything he had lost—before the cruelty, before the distance, before the world he had shattered.
The sharp contrast of the vibrant colors against the oppressive, angry reds of the daturas surrounding it was almost painful.
The innocence, the love, the peace of that moment—it was all gone now.
His breath hitched as the tears began to rise, each one like a wave crashing against his chest.
“I… I remember this,” he whispered, his voice raw.
“I remember us. I remember you.”
You had stood before him, radiant, as though you had stepped out of a fairy tale.
The way the sunlight caught in your hair, turning it into a halo of gold, it made you seem almost otherworldly.
Your eyes had met his, blinking slowly, as if they were the galaxy themselves, deep and endless, drawing him in.
It was as though he was gazing into the very heart of the universe, lost in the infinite expanse of your gaze.
Your scent, soft and sweet, had been like honeysuckle, delicate and intoxicating, the kind that made him forget everything but you.
He could still remember how your presence had made the air feel lighter, brighter, as if nothing could ever go wrong when you were near.
Your laughter.
Your smile.
You.
That was before everything had begun to unravel.
That was before the cruelty, before the silence, before he had destroyed the one thing that had ever made him feel whole.
Now, the memories of that day were a painful reminder of the cold, broken silence that had replaced your presence.
The pain of losing you, of realizing how deeply he had hurt you, had settled into his bones like a permanent ache.
And all he could do was remember that look in your eyes, the way you had smiled at him like he was the center of your world.
He had believed it too, back then.
But now, he was left with nothing but the haunting emptiness of what he had destroyed with his own bare hands.
The tears fell faster now, unstoppable, as he sank to his knees.
He clutched the painting to his chest, the only remaining piece of you he could still hold onto.
“I was supposed to protect you,” he whispered, his voice raw and broken.
The words were barely audible, but they clawed at his throat, sharp and suffocating.
“I promised you the world. And I…” He faltered, his breath hitching as his chest tightened with the unbearable ache.
“I’ve ruined it. I’ve ruined everything.”
Every word, every moment of regret, felt like a blade twisting deeper inside him.
The daturas around him were tall, suffocating, like a field of poison that seemed to encircle him, their dark beauty a constant reminder of how he had poisoned your love.
“I’m so sorry,” he gasped, his voice cracking under the weight of his remorse.
His entire body trembled with the grief that overwhelmed him.
“I’m sorry for every word, every moment I hurt you. For every time I… I pushed you away.”
He could hear nothing but the deafening silence of regret, the oppressive weight of the daturas closing in on him, each one a grim reminder that the love he had once had was now buried under a sea of thorns and poison.
And as he sat there, clutching the painting tighter to his chest, he realised it.
Nothing could bring you back.
Not the apologies, not the tears.
All he was left with was the haunting reminder of his failure, surrounded by the overwhelming, mocking presence of the daturas.
He had created this hell, and now he was trapped in it.
He wept.
The sobs racked his body, raw and uncontrollable, each one like a jagged shard of agony lodged deep within him.
His chest heaved with the weight of it, the pain too great to contain, too great to silence.
Tears poured from his eyes like rivers, hot and relentless, each drop an excruciating reminder of the destruction he had wrought.
It wasn’t just you he had lost.
He wept for the shattered man he had become, for the love that had once bloomed between you, now choked under the crushing weight of his mistakes.
The tears were an outpouring of everything he had denied—guilt, regret, longing, and a deep, gnawing sorrow for what was irreparably broken.
This was the last thing he had of you, the only remnant of the woman you had been before the darkness had consumed you both.
If only he could reach back into those moments, pull you back to him, make things right.
But he couldn’t.
“I’m sorry,” he gasped through his tears, his voice trembling with the weight of a thousand unspoken apologies.
“I’m so sorry… for everything… I didn’t see it. I didn’t see you. Please…”
The room felt colder, darker, as if the very air had thickened with his regret.
The bright contrast of the painting only amplified the emptiness around him, so full of life once, now nothing but a hollow echo of what had been.
The memory of you, once so vibrant, now faded, buried beneath the weight of his sins.
The memories were cruel.
The day of your first dance came rushing back—the soft echoes of your footsteps in that abandoned chapel.
He remembered the warmth of your hands in his, the joy on your face when he’d finally gotten the steps right.
“You’re terrible at this, Sy,” you giggled back then, your eyes sparkling.
“I’ll get better,” he’d promised, holding you close. “As long as you don’t let me go.”
But now, he chuckled bitterly to himself, tears running down his face.
“But I let you go, didn’t I?” His voice cracked.
“God, I let everything go.”
—•
Sylus woke to the sharp sting of daylight piercing through the room, and for a long moment, he didn’t move.
His body ached with exhaustion, weighed down by the weight of his emotions and the remnants of his guilt that clung to him like an unbearable fog.
The floor was cold beneath him, and as his blurry eyes focused, he realized that he was still on his knees, the stillness of the room almost suffocating.
His hand instinctively went to his face, feeling the roughness of dried tears, the lingering evidence of the storm that had raged within him the night before.
His chest tightened, his breath shallow.
He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this hollow.
The guilt was a constant ache in his chest, an ever-present reminder of how he had broken the one person who had meant more to him than anything.
You.
It was painful, the weight of his failures pressing down on him.
His heart clenched at the thought of you.
The woman he loved, the woman he had torn apart with his pride, his cruelty, his selfishness.
The thought of living the rest of his life knowing he had destroyed the woman he loved, knowing he had caused you so much pain.
It was unbearable.
“What now?” he asked himself, the question hanging in the air like a cruel, unanswered prayer.
He thought of you, still lifeless in that sterile hospital room.
The silence around him was deafening, a constant reminder of the space you no longer filled.
He was waiting for something, some sign, some miracle that would pull you from the void you had fallen into.
He could still see you in his mind’s eye.
Your face, pale and tranquil, the softness that had always been there now lost behind a veil of uncertainty.
When would you wake up?
Would you even want to look at him?
These questions rattled in his mind, each one more suffocating than the last.
“Please,” he thought, almost as a silent prayer, though he couldn’t find the words.
He couldn’t escape the gnawing fear.
That you might never return.
—•
He sat in his study, the cold glass of whiskey heavy in his hand, the amber liquid swirling lazily within.
The burn of the alcohol down his throat was a familiar, fleeting solace—a cruel balm to the wounds that festered in his chest.
His thoughts were scattered, his mind a blur of regret and self-doubt, but the sharp sting of the drink helped him forget, if only momentarily.
Time stretched on in the dimly lit room, the silence thick and oppressive, when a voice—soft, haunting—slipped into his consciousness.
“You promised.”
At first, it was just a faint whisper, a sound barely louder than a breath, but it made his hand falter.
He froze, the glass poised before his lips, his entire body stiffening.
The voice came again, this time clearer, more real.
“You promised me.”
His heart stuttered, the glass slipping from his fingers and crashing to the floor with a shattering thud, but his mind was focused entirely on the voice—your voice.
He could hear you.
He could your presence like a faint caress, reminding him of the promises he had made long ago.
The world around him seemed to tilt, his vision blurring as he closed his eyes, fighting to hold on to the fragile reality he knew was slipping away.
“No…” he whispered to himself, a desperate denial, but the voice only grew stronger.
“You said you would protect me. You said you would never leave me…”
The words cut deep, their weight sinking into him like an anchor.
He staggered back, his breath ragged, as if he had been struck. The guilt surged again—unrelenting, suffocating.
The cruel truth of it, too much to bear.
His trembling hands reached for the desk, gripping the edge as he bent forward, staring down at the empty space before him.
“I promised… I promised and I—”
The words died in his throat, a raw ache strangling his every attempt at expression.
For a moment, everything seemed to still.
The fog of regret, the numbness from the alcohol, it all began to fade away, leaving only the undeniable clarity of his failure.
“Forgive me,” he whispered, his voice barely audible, but it was enough.
The voice in his mind grew faint, but still, he could feel it, still lingering in the shadows, soft and fragile, like a thread connecting you across the space he had destroyed.
He wanted to deny it.
Wanted to escape it.
But the past was a ghost he could never outrun.
His thoughts strayed to you, to your laughter, to the way your eyes glistened under the sunlight.
He could still picture it so clearly.
The two of you, young and hopeful, in the meadow, surrounded by flowers you loved so much..
You had been alive then. Together.
Now, all he had was emptiness, and the broken pieces of the person he had become.
The ghost of his regret came again, softly.
“You can’t undo the past.”
But Sylus shook his head, trying to shake the noise out.
“No, but I can start over.”
“You can’t.”
“I will be better,” a tear ran down his face.
“You destroyed them.”
“N-No..!” His voice cracked.
“You killed her.”
“I’ll fix this. I’ll fix us.” He was desperate.
“She’s never coming back.”
“…no…”
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ceoofglytchell · 2 months ago
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Fear not
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Summary: Aegon walks in on his new wife having an anxiety attack.
Pairing: Aegon II Targaryen x Wife!Reader
Word count: 1301 words
Warnings: TW: anxiety attacks! , heavy angst, hurt/comfort, talks of dying, fear of death, probably ooc aegon, good husband aegon <3, no description for the reader, no mention of Y/N
Notes: This is short and self indulgent, but I needed to get this out of my drafts. The next fic is gonna be the winner of the poll! Enjoy 💛
⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅
Nothing feels real. Your mouth and lips are numb, your ears are ringing and you feel like you cannot breathe.
You gasp desperately for air, trying to force some oxygen into your lungs, while you press your hand against your chest, which feels tight and strange. The stinging pain between or under your ribs does not make things any better.
You hold on to your armchair with your other hand, which is in front of the lit fireplace in your and Aegon's marital chambers.
Aegon... Two weeks ago you were married in the Great Sept and became husband and wife.
At first you had your doubts, but so far he has done nothing to make you regret this union. Yes, he is a drunkard and yes he takes his nightly duties as a husband very seriously, but you like that. You like him.
And in return you know that he values ​​you just as much.
But how would he react if he saw you now? Weak, frail, gasping for air, shaking all over and with tears running down your cheeks?
Weak.
That is what your father always called you when you had another of those attacks. The maesters assured you that it was from all the stress a young woman like you must be feeling - or just the general fact that you are a woman - but nothing helps you fight it.
It feels like you are dying.
And all the questions that are going through your head are only making it worse. The voices in your head are screaming at you that there must be something wrong with your heart and that you will collapse at any moment and no longer be there, or that it must be something with your head.
It frightens you terribly and you cannot escape this vicious circle of bad thoughts.
Not far from the fireplace and the armchair you are leaning against, the door opens and Aegon comes running in, a grin on his face, as he is happy to finally be alone with his beautiful new wife.
But then suddenly his eyes fall on you and he immediately realizes that something is very wrong.
"Wife?" he asks you carefully, whereupon you sob even louder. It breaks his heart.
He approaches you with quick steps and gently puts a hand on your shoulder. "My beloved... what is wrong?"
For the first time in what feels like hours, you look up and almost feel relieved, were it not for the shortness of breath and the feeling of pulling in your chest, as well as the fear of losing your life.
It is your greatest fear. You do not want the Stranger to come and get you. You still want to experience so much. You still have your whole life ahead of you and you want to spend it with your husband and give him heirs and raise them. You want to be a mother, a grandmother. You cannot die yet.
"Darling, talk to me," Aegon begs, taking your face in his hands so that you have to look into his beautiful amethyst colored eyes.
The sight of him and his obvious concern for you touched you to the core and you can't do anything but cry even harder, tears rolling down your flushed cheeks.
"I-I can't breathe," you finally answer him, whereupon his eyes widen and he strokes his thumbs soothingly over the soft flesh of your cheeks.
"Then we breathe together, do you hear me?" he assures you and takes a deep breath.
You try to imitate him, but you can't. The panic grew. What if there really was something wrong with you? What if you were to die in his arms right now?
"Listen to me, darling. Look at me and breathe with me.”
The prince takes a long breath, holding the air for four seconds before slowly letting it out again. Criston taught him this one evening when he was suffering from something similar. He had been so afraid back then, which his grandsire kept shouting at him for, but since then he has learned that fear is not a weakness. On the contrary. It makes you strong.
You can feel how slowly but surely your lungs are filling up with air again and the dizziness is also subsiding. The feeling in your right side, it is strange and inexplicable, remains, however. As always.
Sometimes it seems as if you are dazed or not the same person.
“I don’t want to die, Aegon. Aegon, please, I can’t, I-“ you beg in sheer panic.
Your lord husband mmediately shakes his head and gently wipes the tears from your cheeks. He can’t bear to see you like this. And your words? What has gotten into you? What is going on?
"You will not die, my love. I am here. I am with you and nothing can happen to you. I promise you that I will fight the Stranger with my bare hands if he comes to take you away from me," he promises you and nods his head gently to show you that he means it.
"As long as I am here, nothing can happen to you."
Slowly you feel yourself being able to breathe again, the pain in your chest subsiding and the dizziness slowly fading, although you can still feel it lurking in the background.
The feelings are always there. They lurk in the depths of your mind and suddenly burst out of you.
During the last few days they have not been so strong and you almost had the feeling that the gods finally had compassion on you and took them away from you. Apparently that is not the case.
And now your beloved knows about it. About your shame.
"Better?" Aegon asks you gently, whereupon you nod hesitantly, but you can immediately feel new tears forming in your eyes. Tears of exhaustion and relief.
"Yes," you sob quietly and Aegon cannot help but hold you close and stroke your back with his hands.
"Oh, my poor darling. I did not know you were suffering so much. You should have told me," he whispers, pressing a few gentle kisses to your hair.
You buried your head in the fabric of his tunic, which was soaked with the salty water of your tears. Neither you nor he was interested in that right now.
All he wanted was for you to get better. He can't bear to see you like this.
"I did not want to look weak in your eyes."
Aegon immediately shakes his head and presses a few more kisses to your pretty head.
"You are not weak, wife. You are anything but that. You are so strong," he murmurs, kissing your forehead lovingly.
Your body is still shaking and you can feel the tiredness overcoming you. Your anxiety attack has completely overwhelmed you and left you even weaker.
"I love you. With all my heart. And I will always be here for you, do you hear me?"
His words melt your heart and a new wave of sadness overwhelms you and tears fall down your face again.
"Shhh, my girl, I'm here," he whispers before gently lifting you in his arms and carrying you to the bed.
He lovingly lays you down on the soft sheets and lies down next to you and immediately takes you in his arms. Your head rests on his chest and you listen to his calming heartbeat and enjoy the warmth of his body.
"Sleep, my love. I'll be here when you wake up."
The uncomfortable feeling is still there, but your eyes are heavy and you have slowly closed them and are falling into a dreamless sleep with your beloved husband by your side.
And you know you are safe with him.
⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅
Taglist: @bey0nd-1he-stars @sassypain
⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅
Aegon x Twin Sister!Reader comes next week (since that looks like it’s gonna win the poll so far)
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yandere-3-sagau · 2 years ago
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Yandere!SAGAU x Secret!Creator!Reader Pt 2
Short Summary: Zhongli knows that it’s you and he can’t wait to meet you as the first one to recognize the creator and officially welcome you. (sorry there’s no intense chase yet, sort of a filler chapter)
characters: Childe, Zhongli
warning(s): ooc characters, lowkey degenerate behavior from Zhongli
word count: 1551
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─── ・ 。゚✧: *.☽ .* : ✧.───
You manage to get home without any interruptions. Grandpa Fuyi, the farmer that took you in, noticed your heavy breathing.
He sat up in his chair, grabbing his cane. Wiping the sweat from your face, you urged him to stay seated.
“I’m alright! I just… saw a few hilichurls on my way back and got scared.”
His grey brows furrowed. “Thank archons you’re alright. It’s dangerous for you to be traveling alone. Why don’t you take a break from selling?”
“About that… I’ve been thinking of traveling.”
Grandpa Fuyi was silent for a bit.
“Did you remember your real family?”
When you had first arrived, you knew it was impossible to tell him that you’re from another world. Instead, you told him that you’re lost and have no recollection of your past.
“I knew you’d eventually want to return to your life before, but I didn’t think it’d be this soon.” He sighed shakily.
“No! That’s not it…”
Your heart breaks seeing the frail man. You can’t possibly leave him alone. But you are scared. You aren’t sure if the geo archon would come searching for you and you don’t want to involve the one person to give you shelter. You think about what your next set of actions are when Grandpa Fuyi speaks after a long strip of silence.
“Will you let me come with you?”
You are frozen in shock. He sees your reaction and continues speaking.
“I know I’m old and it’ll be difficult to travel with me, but I’ve always dreamed of visiting other nations before I pass…”
You pause, weighing out the options in your mind.
“Are you sure?” you ask. “It may be dangerous…”
“I’m sure. As long as you’re okay with it, I’d like to travel the world with you.”
He gives you a smile with such kind eyes that you can’t help but tear up as you hug him tightly. How can you abandon the one person to help you in this unfamiliar world?
The two of you prepare, quite quickly, to leave Liyue. Using your knowledge from your previous world, you create a collapsible wheelchair for Grandpa Fuyi that would make it easy to travel in. The money you made from selling your miracle vegetables is enough for the two of you to travel comfortably and is enough to last a lifetime. With your bags packed and an optimistic smile on your face, the two of you set out to head to your next destination, the land of eternity… Inazuma.
Early the next day, before the sun has even risen, Zhongli returns to the stall and sees that it’s not yet open and that the person he has been thinking of all night is no where to be seen.
Feeling that it is quite early, he decides to wait for you to come. He waits until the sun is high in the sky. Then he waits till the sky is purple. Despite standing for a whole day, Zhongli doesn’t move an inch from his spot.
He has to confirm it.
Even with this thought in mind, he knows deep in his heart that it it’s you. He knows that the creator has descended. Zhongli can feel it in his gut and with every fiber of his being. You’re here.
Zhongli waits for days in the same spot, neither eating nor drinking. Passersby’s stare at him as if he’s crazy and some even offer food. Zhongli refuses them all, only one thought in mind.
Creator, creator, creator… where are you?
It’s been a while since Childe visited Liyue other than short business trips and missions for the Fatui.
Childe is heading towards Northland Bank when he sees Zhongli, standing as still as a statue next to an empty stall.
He decides to greet him, walking over to the former geo archon.
“What are you up to?” He asks him, seeing the serious expression on his face.
“I’m waiting for someone.” Zhongli’s answers are brief, nothing but determination in his eyes.
Around him, Childe can hear the whispers of the people who pass by.
“That man is still standing there…”
“How many days has it been?”
“Is he even human?”
Childe’s eyes narrow.
What’s so important about this stall that the Geo Archon himself waits days on end for?
His eyes examine the stall closely. Nothing special stands out. However, as he is examining it, he sees a small white handkerchief poking out from behind the stall on the opposite side of where Zhongli is standing.
“Who are you waiting for?” Childe asks as he casually walks over to the handkerchief. “They must be very important for you to be waiting this long.”
Zhongli doesn’t spare him a glance. “A vegetable merchant,” he says simply. Childe rolls his eyes, discreetly picking up the handkerchief and shoving it into his pocket.
“Wow, how informative,” he says sarcastically. “Well I hate to be the one to break it to you, but if you’ve been waiting here for this long, chances are whoever you’re waiting for is long gone.”
Hearing this, Zhongli finally moves. The former geo archon was so absorbed in thoughts about what he’d say and how he’d react when he finally meets the creator that he didn’t realize how long he has actually been waiting.
“You’re right.” Zhongli wastes no more time waiting and leaves to search for them.
“Nice… just leave me hanging, no problem. I’ve been good by the way, thanks for asking!” Childe calls out to him.
As Zhongli walks to each nearby stall, asking for information about the vegetable merchant, Childe pulls out the handkerchief from his pocket.
His eyes scan over it, noticing smears of gold staining the white cloth.
Paint?
His thumb rubs over the smear, noticing that it’s a different texture than the usual paint used in Liyue.
Childe lifts the cloth to his face, taking in a deep whiff. As someone who survived the abyss and the youngest Fatui Harbringer, Childe’s senses are not to be messed with. Though it’s been days, there’s a small scent that anyone else would not have been able to recognize… but Childe, someone who has experienced his fair share of fights, is able to recognize it instantly.
… blood.
The puzzle pieces in his head click together so fast that he’s barely able to react. Childe stares at the cloth as if it’s the most special and rare artifact in all of the land of Teyvat.
A handkerchief with golden blood and the oldest archon guarding a shabby vegetable stall. Childe knows that this could only mean one thing.
The creator has descended.
With his heart beating faster than ever, Childe quickly leaves. He has to let the Tsarista know before Zhongli can find them. Childe smiles giddily, excitement filling his body.
After following the directions given to him by the townspeople, Zhongli finds himself in front of the small house you lived in with Grandpa Fuyi.
The wooden boards creak as he steps on the porch. Zhongli cringes, seeing the decrepit state of the small home.
Is this where their beloved creator has been staying?
Zhongli sighs. He will be sure to build you a grand palace for you to live in once he finally meets you.
He lightly knocks on the door with anticipation. A few seconds pass with no response. He knocks a bit harder and waits. After a few minutes pass of complete silence, Zhongli lets himself in.
He walks around the small home, examining it closely. Other than a small living area and kitchen, there are two small rooms. The first room he enters is lightly decorated with a few antiques littered here and there.
Were they living with someone? Zhongli asks in his head…a bit of jealousy shakes his heart. How lucky they must be to have lived with the creator…
The next room he enters is almost completely bare other than a small bed in the corner of the room. Zhongli knows immediately in his heart that it’s your’s.
The creator’s room…
Closing his eyes, he takes in a deep breath, almost as if he’s basking in your presence. It’s like he can feel you…
Zhongli walks over to the bed, sitting on top of it. His hands caress the sheets, feeling the slight roughness of the cloth beneath his fingertips.
This is where the creator slept…
He lifts the blanket up, burying his face into the cloth and breathing in deeply with the nose of a dragon. He can smell you… he pulls away after a few seconds, feeling a bit dizzy.
From what he can tell, it hasn’t been that long since you’ve left. You must be close, he thinks. He smiles with eyes filled of devotion and exhilaration.
It won’t be long before you meet, Zhongli thinks. He awaits the day he is able to kneel before your feet and officially welcome you to the land of Teyvat.
Zhongli finally leaves the small house to follow your trail before it fades. He decides not to tell a soul of his discovery, thinking that it’d be best not to release the news so as to not spark any chaos.
… but in truth… Zhongli wants to be the first one to find you. The first to welcome you and become your most trusted acolyte.
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(sorry guys, i know a lot of you were expecting something big. Honestly, i had no plans to continue this but i randomly had a thought about it and decided to write this. I’ve been so busy and stressed with school so it’s been a while since I’ve had time to write anything. It’s a bit plain but I hope you guys like it! Next chapter will be more intense…probably…hopefully…)
taglist:
@allblognamesaretakenlikereally @kokxm1 @leafinapuddle @probablynoposts @tonightwrites @tiffthescales @dakotali @xxxastridexxx @sparklyphantom @ursinaw @d0rmiens-fact0rem @iruiji @turningmad @moonlilliesinthegarden @java-lava @chihawari @yanderesarentagoodidea @5-stirling-heartstrings @smokey-cat @raingoesboomboom @cheritastic @rugiebugie @thelocal-idiot @minteasketches @pwisoned @blueberryhitosh1 @eliaspspspsp @extremelytoastybread @angelkazusstuff @whinnywhale @thedevioussmirk @ravenswife @goldenglow149 @a-person-with-many-likes @noisychildnut
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ismailawad55 · 5 months ago
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A Cry Under the Rain... Save Us
In this freezing winter, as the rain lashes against our bodies, we stand helpless against the merciless cold, the hunger that tears through our stomachs, and a life whose light has been extinguished by oppression and an unrelenting siege.
My family and I are here in Gaza, where everything is collapsing. There is no roof to shield us from the rain, no blanket to warm our frail bodies. We cling to life while even the most basic of our rights are stolen. Every corner of our existence speaks of pain, and every moment adds a new burden we cannot bear.
Our children shiver from the cold, their innocent eyes looking at us with hope they don’t yet understand, while we, as parents, carry the weight of despair in our hearts every day.
I reach out to you, not just asking for help, but hoping that someone out there feels our pain and becomes the reason for saving lives that are desperately seeking a chance to survive.
Help me, even with a word, by sharing our suffering, by a small donation that could become a lifeline in this winter that is slowly killing us with its unforgiving cold and cruelty.
https://gofund.me/5dec57f5
@dlxxv-vetted-donations @sar-soor @rebecca-levin-art @reduxskullduggerry @terezbian @tangleslime2 @tangleslime2 @libertineangel @lesbianmaxevans @mauesartetc @malcriada @jezior0 @variantsofblue @victoriawhimsey @katsunaksu
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