#fr though write shitty write unoriginal write write write write

[daisychainsandbowties]

i love going back to find my favourite fics from when i was twelve only to realise that they’re poorly written and messy and full of mistakes and bad dialogue and melodrama. and also at the same time holding in my mind how absolutely enraptured i was by those fics when i read them, when i was twelve and desperately alone.

how often in the intervening years i’ve replayed those stories in my mind and how bright they feel to me when i think of them, even now. and here, at the root of it, is this flawed and human piece of art made by someone who probably doesn’t realise that i’ve clung to the echoes of their voice for more than half my life. taken solace inside the giants i’ve made of their little words.

it’s just… no matter the quality of your writing there’s always going to be someone (like me) to whom your fic becomes a lifeline. someone who’ll spin your words to gold in their mind because underneath the shaky narration and the bits of dialogue that don’t work, underneath the fact that the fic i’m talking about stopped at chapter 14 and i checked my email every day for a year hoping to see it updated again, there’s still the fact that what you just made is art.

this messy little fic, which has an oc as the main character and broke so many of the cardinal rules of making fic… it stuck with me, became a part of me. so, no matter what kind of art you make - good or bad or mediocre or profound, ordinary and inexpert and poorly-plotted - there’ll be someone who reads it and carries it with them forever. even the art you make when you’re twelve and not good at anything yet is still art and it still had the capacity to do all the things that art does.

[aejiajia]

okay so here's my request babe : the prompt “when is the last time you ate?” with miss sujin and her dear friend kalaya, because i feel like inka is protective and attentive to sujin, and she knows that sometimes the girl tends not to pay attention to herself.. so yea! thank you in advance babe 💗

> Attentive

Warnings! : Self neglect, several mentions of medications for ADHD

Okay bbg i'm gonna be so fr with you seeing this request got me so excited i immediately started writing and hyperfocused on this until it was done.. congrats you broke through my procrastination issue. Fun fact, this post is glitched on my laptop.

Summary : Sujin forgets herself, but she has someone who reminds her.

Timeline : September 1st, 2023

Event!

Life is chaotic. Sujin’s life is chaotic. The born pink tour coming to an end, her career at an alltime high, the lingering effects of headlining so many stadiums, contract renewals happening while they’re still in America for performances, events she had to go to with her members, events she had to go to alone. All in all, she’d barely had a breather in the last months.

Truthfully, she couldn’t remember the last time she actually took her medications, wondering if she did when it was already too late and she was about to go on stage in 5 minutes. It had noticeable effect, less focus, easily distractible, what some might call too much energy, hyperfocusing on one single piece of make-up for hours which almost got her to be late on stage.

Now back in Korea, stepping into her apartment, it was the first moment of silence she’d had in months. It was kind of eerie- really. And she did not remember her medication tasting that shitty. 

The silence was too silent, which meant everything racing at her in her mind. She had things to do immediately tomorrow, last concert preparations, contract finalizing, solo preparations (why did she want to do that again already?)

There was a point at which the silence became loud, which was the final straw.

She picked her phone up from the table, scrolling through contacts. 

                                                                                                             [I’m back, missed u <3]

Thankfully- She’d gotten the hint.

The knock on her door didn’t take long and Sujin didn’t waste a second to open the door. 

“Hi there.” 

Sujin smiled, waving. “Hi Kal.” Sujin was one for nicknames, unoriginal ones maybe, but she always provided nicknames.

It took a moment for Sujin to correctly process, but she opened the door fully for Kalaya to step in. She hoped her medication would kick in soon or else this would be a long day.

Inka didn’t seem to mind, relieving Sujin as she closed the door behind the younger (okay, it was one year, but Sujin took as much advantage of being the unnie for once as she could). 

Inka sat down at the kitchen table wordlessy. She watched as Sujin processed before sitting across from her, barely containing a snicker.

“So.. Gocheok Sky Dome? That’s an achievement.”

Kalaya smiled, leaning back in her chair. 

Sujin huffed, giggling. “Full of those, apparently. Been a lot of those these past few months.” She hummed, taking a moment to recollect everywhere they’d been. Inka nodded. 

“So i heard.” 

Sujin bit her lip. “Did you watch any performances?”

“A few.” Kalaya responded, reaching across the table to hold Sujin’s hand. “You five did really well.”

Sujin smiled, genuine. Though still not being good at taking compliments very well, she changed the subject. “I’m happy you got your personal instagram. Now i can stop spamming the boys and spam only you instead.” 

Inka laughed, Sujin smiling at the sound. “Looking forward to it.”

A silence fell for a little while, comforting, not like the one when she’d stepped into her apartment.

Kalaya bit her lip, looking back up at Sujin. “So.. When’s the last time you ate?”

Sujin looked back, not having expecting the question.

She thought, she definitely ate day of their last concert, Rosé had dragged her out for a late night meal snack. She’d spent her last few days in L.A messing around with her members and trying out several diners and exploring. She landed back in Korea yesterday so that all amounts to..

“Yesterday morning?”

Just like Sujin hadn’t expected the question, Kalaya wasn’t expecting the answer. She took a second before answering.

“And you’re not hungry, at all?”

Sujin pat her stomach, pouting softly. “I at least haven’t noticed.” 

“Sujin..” 

“Say it.”

Inka sighed. “Sujin unnie.”

“Thank you.”

Kalaya rolled her eyes, but let Sujin bask in the honorific for a second. “You need to take care of yourself. Did you at least take your medications?” 

Sujin nodded, pointing back to the half full cup of water and the bottle of pills that she promised to herself she would clean up after texting Kalaya and then completely forgot about.

When Sujin whipped her head back around Inka already sat with her phone in hand, making Sujin tilt her head in confusion.

Inka looked up, raising a brow. “I’m ordering food, god knows you need it look at how pale you are. And i’m hungry too, it’s around dinner time anyway.” She hummed. “What would you like?” 

Sujin blinked, taking a second to let the information process before responding. “As long as it tastes good with kimchi.” 

Inka smiled. “Understood.” 

After ordering- and presumably texting if the furious typing and scoffs accompanied by a ‘oh my god Jisung.’- Kalaya put aside her phone, giving Sujin a soft smile. 

“So… did you have separate rooms, or..?” 

“We’re not having this conversation.” 

“Yes we are.”

“Okay, fine, who’s your mystery boyfriend?” 

“Okay, well you know what-”

“No no, this is an exchange now. Tell me and i’ll tell you.” 

“Fine fine, you first.” 

Sujin hummed. “No. No we did not.”