#forgive me my typos and mistranslations I'm an alien too

[realyauza]

Non-Japanese speaking players of Yakuza 4 have been robbed! These two newspaper issues you can get through the game are as genius as unreadable (thanks for the low texture resolution).

Saejima Taiga is an alien from Japan's Area 51! Want to know more? Read these hot articles from "Nihon Sports"!

Long story short (not really):

The first issue was about:

"A three-meters-tall alien was captured on film in Kamurocho. A security camera installed on the roof of a building in Kamurocho accidentally captured a scene of what appeared to be an alien creature knocking five strong men unconscious in an instant. The scene of five strong men being knocked out in an instant was captured by chance. The creature, which appeared to be an alien, was more than three sheets tall and appeared to be the same kind of monster as the Big Foot found in the Himalayas, but information from the International Okinawa UFO & UMA Research Institute, which conducts UFO research in Okinawa, revealed that the creature was an alien returned from a mysterious facility called “Area 51 Japan” in Okinawa."

"Surrounded by high walls, the island is said to be a UFO advance base and stands eerily still, giving an intimidating impression to its surroundings. From time to time, sounds like screams and high-pitched metallic clangs can be heard." - an image capture

Then there's a short info about what types of aliens we already know. Saejima is the "beast type" and "Since these aliens have been found not only on the rooftops of buildings, but also in underground parking lots and in sewers, it is thought that they are vulnerable to sunlight." There was also an eyewitness, who called him a Green Alien and was knocked unconscious soon after: The journalist asked one more time, “Would you like to meet the an alien again?" Tanaka answered, “That's not an argument! Of course I don't want to see this again!“ He shook his shoulders and repeated, “Of course I don't want to see anything like this again!"

"We should think about why aliens came to the earth. It is not possible for them to come from a distant celestial body just for the purpose of sightseeing. They must be waiting for some purpose to come to Earth. Depending on the purpose, it is not surprising that they may have brought weapons to Earth. A “beast-type” figure suddenly appeared in front of God. Perhaps he is the first of the aliens to invade the earth." - a professor of astronomy at a famous university summed up to the author of this article.

The second one:

Is it related to violent aliens? - says the title. This newspaper we can get only after Tanimura's meeting with Katsuragi. The main photo captures this moment.

A group of people in mysterious suits on a night trip. This magazine, which was the first to report on UFOs, has once again come up with a scoop: people trying to call UFOs (unidentified flying objects) have been moving deeper and deeper into Kamurocho, which has won the title of Japan's most famous district. At first glance, the scenery appears to be the same as usual, but people with the same characteristics are clearly visible. Dressed in what appear to be uniforms, they are marching towards a point. They appear to be performing some sort of divine ritual.-main image description

A photo of an UFO described as: A UFO suddenly appeared in the sky over Kamurocho. This photo was taken by a photographer of this magazine while he was reporting on aliens. The article was about a small village in Illinois, U.S.A., in 1988.

"He was cool. I was getting tangled up with five thugs, and he helped me out. And they just took our stuff, and they paid us off!” The aliens helped the man. We were shocked to hear this, but it's the truth. What is this alien's target? The story goes on and on. - written next to the Saejima's back

I noticed that a group of men in suits had gathered around the two men who were having a secret conversation. Immediately afterwards, the group "began to mutter and mumble all at once around the man they had seized," and then they "began to walk away. I had an eerie feeling about the ritualistic child, but I could not help wondering what they were doing in the square. Aliens were speaking some mysterious language no one could understand. They contacted an UFO specialist Morikawa to get more bullshit valuable info about this event and reasons why did they come here:

"The Mendurians are not only large, but also very intelligent," he said. If I had told my fellow travellers that I was being held in the Japanese version of Area 51, they would have been very concerned about the situation," he said. As for the group of people in suits who were at the scene, I think it is very likely that they were brainwashed by the Mendoules to call for UFOs.

I hope the next interview will be more interesting. I would like to remind the readers of this article that if you are unfortunate enough to find yourself on the road to Mendul, you are not the only one. If you are unfortunate enough to encounter a Mendurian, seek shelter in a well-lit area immediately, or apologize sincerely from the bottom of your heart, and you may be rehabilitated.

So,where's the truth?