#forgive me if i’m not super polished;;;

[wydownaspiider]

#MonsterHighMarch Day 1: Your Monstersona

[all-pacas]

Unpopular opinion:as a Chase fan,I don't like his fanon self much. He seems too... Soft,for the lack of a better word? People seem to erase his harsher edges and bad attitudes in favour of a fragile person who wouldn't survive a second under House.

lmao god his fanfic self is so funny. he’s so sweet and prone to self harm and uwu. like mind you, i also see plenty of stuff on tumblr that’s like “this SPOILED RICH KID who is SO DUMB and SO ENTITLED” and i’m like calm down about that also. i’ve been reading a lot of ffn stuff recently and it’s fascinating to see what was written during the show’s run. chase really does get polished to a shine.

i think it’s easy to make chase soft on the one hand: he cries more on the show than anyone else (love that for him), he’s also kind of quiet. weirdly, i think the cam/chase romance is also a factor: the show pretty consistently… does some interesting things with that ship, but, cameron is generally (if gently/sympathetically) shown to be in the wrong, and chase to be the patient and forgiving boyfriend, right? (and this is because the relationship is shown thru cameron’s pov and lens and in terms of her character development; she gets to Make Mistakes so that she grows; chase is largely just her accessory). and then when she leaves, we get to see him be upset about it, which of course only adds to the uwu pretty sadboy filter.

but yeah! chase is prickly! like post-divorce everyone is being really nice and he is super rude and sarcastic and dismissive. he makes sarcastic little comments constantly. he is prone to sulking and passive-aggression. he wants validation and is kind of needy and when he doesn’t get those things he starts rolling his eyes and making weird comments (”works for spaghetti!”). chase also, i think, thinks… pretty highly of himself? like i don’t think he’s arrogant exactly, he’s no foreman. but he clearly doesn’t struggle with self worth. he knows he’s a good surgeon, he knows he’s got money, he hilariously thinks it’s his personality and not his looks that make women like him. he knows he is very good looking. while that isn’t to say he can’t be insecure (he really can be, at least when cameron is concerned), he isn’t self loathing. he knows he’s good at talking to people and doing his job and being pretty.

he’s pretty good at putting on a charming front when he needs to, but it’s very much a front. one of my favorite little things is that in poison he’s chatting up the patient’s mom, lightly joking, being friendly. she gets him removed from the case and he’s outraged, quote: “She complained? About me?” He is literally so mad that someone wouldn’t like him. he is offended. not hurt. not upset. it makes him angry. he is charming, intentionally, he is doing a strategy (his words), people complain about him? it comes up in the mistake, too; stacy mentions he always gets great patient reviews and foreman complains it’s because chase is fake as hell. and other times! chase is so polite and friendly to house, he is completely dismissive of foreman. he barely manages a polite front to park and masters, he can’t wait to not talk to them. he’s (affectionately) fake as all fucking hell. i love the scene in s5 where foreman/13/kutner want him to do a surgery and chase is like lol you’re not house fuck off. like he’s so dismissive. chase gets accused of having no backbone all the time, but the fact is, he has no issue sticking up for himself or being dismissive. when he likes someone he will do anything and everything with no complaint (see: house, cameron), but he doesn’t really like most people. foreman sure as hell never gets a single favor from chase, lmao.

and then to flip-flop, that isn’t to say he can’t be genuine or soft. like, he definitely bonds with children almost whenever he sees one. he hugs house with no ulterior motives. it’s also not to say he can’t be an uwu sadboy, although whenever he is depressed he tends to cover it with as much avoidance/sarcasm/sleeping around and drinking as possible. but like! the kid has been through a lot in his life! just the fact that he moved around the world and left everything behind is actually pretty tough! he’s had to take care of himself since he was a kid, he had two abusive parents, if he was to have a sadboy breakdown it sure wouldn’t be because of house. he’s a fucking survivor. he ratted to vogler because he would rather house hated him than be unemployed, and had no regrets. he’s great and i love him and he deserves it every time he gets punched in the face or called useless

[hey-august]

As Time Passes (1 of 7)

(Fic tag)

Story Description: A story without a plot or real ending, just a window into moments of time. A glimpse of two threads that twist and turn throughout the years - sometimes winding together, sometimes drifting away - as each story is woven.

Warnings: Buggy x Mermaid!Reader, female reader, some profanity eventually, kinda angsty. This was written more for my own enjoyment and to try something different, so it's not very polished.

WC: ~400

Tag list: @lostfirefly (tagging just in case - @rorywritesjunk @ane5e, let me know if you want me to continue tagging you!)

🐚 Dear diary, pirates are stupid. There’s a huge ship with a pirate flag at the island. The skull had a giant mustache. It wasn’t near the cave and I thought it was OK to swim there. I was WRONG. There were two boys in the cave and they saw me. They asked if I knew where the mermaid treasure was. I don’t even know what mermaid treasure is. One of the boys had red hair and the other one had a red nose. He didn’t like it when I pointed that out. They asked if I wanted to play with them. We had swimming races and I kept winning hahaha. The boy with the red nose pulled my hair to stop me from winning. He pulled my hair!! He’s a cheater and I hate him. It wasn’t fun anymore so I left. I hope they’re gone tomorrow.

🏴‍☠️ Shanks and I met a mermaid today. She swims really fast and Shanks laughed at me because I kept losing but he’s a loser too. A big dumb loser. I wish I could swim better than a mermaid so he wouldn’t laugh at me.

🐚 Dear diary, the pirate ship is still here and the red-nose boy was in the cave again. I was going to swim away but he looked upset. He said sorry for pulling my hair. I guess I forgive him. He said his name is Buggy. He asked if I would teach him how to swim better. I wasn’t sure what to do, but we swam a lot and called it practice. I hope it made him feel better.

🏴‍☠️ We’re leaving this island soon. I wish we could stay longer. The mermaid is showing me tricks and I can hold my breath for even longer now. She laughs a lot and says it’s because I’m funny. Which is true. I think we’re friends but I don’t know. Would it be weird to ask? What would I even say? Shanks doesn’t have any pretty mermaid friends. I bet he would be super jealous of me.

🐚 Dear diary, Buggy said his ship is leaving tomorrow and we won’t be able to play anymore. I think he was sad. I feel sad too. I told him that my family moves a lot and maybe we’ll see each other again. I think that made him feel better because then he said we definitely will. I hope so.

[meltedmush]

Hi same anon -- i wanted to leave comments via webtoon but webtoon is not letting me make an account, so instead I'll tell you through ask! I loved your comic, it's an amazing mix of sincerity and comedy and you execute both flawlessly. I love all of the characters and their relationships with each other!!

JJFKDK I’M SUPER GLAD YOU LIKED IT,,

I WAS GONNA SAY, BEFORE YOU READ IT,, PLEASE FORGIVE THE AMATEUR WRITING,,, I STARTED BTR WHEN I WAS LIKE 14,,, 😭😭

But I’m so relieved you enjoyed it!!! I haven’t been updating BTR as frequently as I used to, but it’s because I been wanting to redesign some things and polish the story!! Updates are gonna be insanely slow but I can always drop off short mini comics if you’d like! 😭🫶💖💖

[seekfelt]

4* Gemini Yachiyo Tsuruhime - Bond Stories

To die together, like Castor and Pollux... Isn't that what we should've been?

The True Esssence of Fear

Location: Siegfeld Rehearsal Room

Yachiyo: (Gemini is a constellation split in two. To express that, this costume has a black-and-white asymmetrical look... The lace and decor work to tie everything together.

That's what I was going for, at least! It'd honestly look better if the top was all-white.)

But two brothers, huh... I'm still not sure whether to play Castor or Pollux at all—)

Karen: WOAH, is that one of the Star Celebrate costumes???

Yachiyo: W—... Jeez, Karen-san!?!?

Karen: Heheheh! Surprised to see little ol' me? Shiori-chan told me you were near, so I thought I'd visit.

I knocked, but nobody answered, so I took a peek!

Yachiyo: That's not~... Why'd you come to Siegfeld?

Karen: What the what? I sent you a text, right??

I was all like, "Thanks for supervising my Taurus! I'd love to talk more about the constellations, so I'll be there!!"

Yachiyo: I didn't get... a text...?

Karen: Huh. HUH.

HUUUUUUUUUUUH????

I'm sorry!! I sent it to Hikari-chan by mistake!!!!!

I got a reply like, "I'll wait. No need to inform beforehand." and I came right here.. but...

Yachiyo: So your first instinct's to always text Hikari-san?

*giggle* That's so cute...! You two must be really good friends♪

Karen: I'm sooo sorry... Now I made Hikari-chan wait too... Maybe I should write up an apology...!?

Yachiyo: Do as you like~ I'm still checking over the costumes, so it'll be a short while before we get to discuss the constellations anyway.

[Some time later]

Karen: *sigh*... There's the metric ton of "Karen, you numbskull"...

Yachiyo: Done with my work♪ So, did Hikari-san forgive you?

Karen: Yup. She said she'll forgive me if I could withstand polishing my tiptoe—... my pointe technique!

Ugh... Hikari-chan's a harsh teacher, though, so! I'll have to prepare myself!!

Yachiyo: ...Sure is nice to feel that way.

Karen: Feel that way...? In what way?

Yachiyo: It's nice to feel supported by your loved ones, I mean!♪

Karen: Ohhh! That! I know right!? Makes me feel like I'm over the moon~!

Karen (Io): "That's why I, Taurus, would like to get a return on that favor.

Tell me the story of you twins, closer than anyone else."

Yachiyo: Aha... ha... Isn't it a bit sudden...

Karen: WDYM?

Yachiyo: Thing is... I'm still a bit unsure on how to play Gemini, so...

Karen: Oh, I see... Being asked to do an etude without a script's always a surprise!

Yachiyo: Exactly. "The constellations shining in the sky will lead you, shooting star, to tomorrow..."

Karen: Mhm! A story about us giving our most precious things, then leading the shooting star onto the next constellation!!

Yachiyo: This "most precious thing" business is a bit vague to me.

Based on the star sign, sure, but then it's up to the performer to choose... You feel?

Karen: Yeah...

Oh, I got it!! If you're having so much trouble, how about we try consulting Gemini directly?

Yachiyo: ...

Karen: Sooo from what I remember, the story of Gemini is—

Yachiyo: ....Originally based on two sons of Zeus, Castor and Pollux.

They were very close, but the elder Castor was only a mere mortal. Pollux, the younger, was blessed with the power of the gods, giving him immortality.

In battle, Castor loses his life...

Karen: WHAT?!?

Yachiyo: Lotsa twists and turns in this tale~ Then, in mourning, Pollux begged to his father Zeus:

Yachiyo (Pollux): "I implore you, deal me the same death as my dear brother. We were born together, so I plead to you, for us to die together as well—"

Yachiyo: Touched, Zeus took half of Pollux's divinity and ascended the brothers to the heavens... Theeeee end♪

Karen: O-Oh...

Yachiyo: Ahahaha! A beautiful tale, is it not♪ The love between two brothers is super—

Karen: Y... Yachiyo-chan?

Yachiyo-chan... why are you crying?

Yachiyo: Huh...?

Even if Thousands of Years Were to Pass[1]

Yachiyo: I'm... crying...?

O-Oh!! I am!! Why the hell am I crying on my own... Ahaha, sorry, this is embarrassing~

Karen: Yachiyo-chan...

Yachiyo: Um. You see... I'm not really the type to discuss things like these with others... so I end up just monologuing.

There's another precious half of "me".

She'd stand on stage beside me when nobody would... Ever since I was a kid, she guided and protected my heart.

Karen: Just like me and Hikari-chan!!!

Yachiyo: Wow~ Do we really compare to such a lovely relationship?

But, yes, close enough... She was just that important to me, like she was the stage itself.

A lot's happened, though. Now she's watching me from the audience—

Karen: The audience... So she isn't with you on stage anymore?

Yachiyo: Yeah! I've made some great friends, and I've found the place where I belong, so she conceded "that" spot in my life to them.

But that's exactly why—I'm scared.

Karen: Scared?

Yachiyo: After staying with me all these years, I wonder how she looks at me now.

From the audience, she can see me. But when I'm on stage? It's so bright, I can't even see her... That's why I'm so scared.

Karen: ...

Yachiyo: Is it really okay for me to be the one enjoying these brilliant days?

For me to be surrounded by my friends? Clashing with them?

For me to be the only one moving on with my life?

To die together, like Castor and Pollux... Isn't that what we should've been?

I just can't help but worry... How does she view me now? Is she angry, perhaps—

Karen: YOU'RE FINE!!!!!!!

Yachiyo: Huh...?

Karen: You said she's like the stage itself for you, right? That must definitely 100% mean.... You're fine!!!!!

'Cuz I know Yachiyo-chan loves the stage VERY, VERY MUCH!!!!!

Yachiyo: Y-You're being pushy...

I'm just saying she might hate me now. If my "most precious" feels that way, I...

Karen (Io): "Let's hear it, then, Gemini... From the other you."

Yachiyo: !!

Karen (Io): "Your story, your way of life... Tell me this, and the 'most precious thing' born from it."

Yachiyo: ...I—

???? (Castor): "You wanna know how I feel about my li'l bro? I'm MAD! He's being an idiot!"

Karen (Io): "Of course, that anger..."

???? (Castor): "I knew he wanted to die with me! I know!! But I wanted him to LIVE FOR ME!!"

Karen (Io): "*chuckle*... Just as I thought!"

???? (Castor): "He better get that in his thick little head, yeah? I know he can, worrying over me so damn much."

"But y'know... It cheers me up, seeing him look at me that way."

Karen (Io): "It does?"

???? (Castor): "Whenever that kid thinks of me, our hearts begin to form a harmony.

We are a pair of stars. Do you know the name of the radiance that unites two into one?"

Karen (Io): "This radiance... Could you tell me?"

???? (Castor): "*giggle* Yes! Of course, I'll tell you. Our most precious thing to give to the Shooting Star—"

???? & Yachiyo (Castor & Pollux): "Its name... is love."

This is related to Yachiyo and Chitose's names. Yachiyo means "eternity" while Chitose means "a thousand years". The "chi" in both names is the 千 (thousand) in the title of the bond story.

[ladyofspoons]

hmmm… the thoughts…

executive dysfunction time…

got lots to do today… had plenty of time to do it when i woke up…

aaaaand all i have done is sleep and eat and scroll and play a little viddo game

but because i’ve managed to play game, and drive to get food

makes me feel that perhaps i’m not really depressed or executively dysfunctional

and perhaps

merely lazy

perhaps because i was able to do something

even if it wasn’t the thing i needed to do

but because something got done

then perhaps i could have done something else

and then maybe

i could have taken care of myself a little

done the dishes, taken a shower, brushed my teeth, put on lotion, cook, do the homework that has been sitting there waiting for me for a week now and is about to become overdue even though it’s the first assignment of the semester and it’s super easy and i could do it at any time

i could do it at any time

i could

do it at any time

but i didn’t

because i’m not really trying, evidently, then i must be unworthy to claim that i’m depressed

i don’t want to be one of those people claiming mental illness for clout or internet points or attention

but i do want attention

just, the kind of attention i want is not the kind that i need, and it feels unearned, because nothing has gotten done today

i’ve lain on the bed, and on the couch, and on the bed, and on the couch

and on the bed

and on the couch

and now here i am

back in bed

writing what might qualify as a poem, but certainly lacks any polish or flavor

it wasn’t necessary supposed to be one, a poem

just a text post

maybe something akin to a journal entry

and there’s no reason, either, for me to be feeling this way

nothing went wrong today

nothing except my brain i suppose

or did i imagine that?

for attention

as an excuse

another way out of the things i don’t want to do

i want somebody to pull me out of this, but i can’t accept their help

what have i done to earn it? i didn’t even try today, why should i ask someone else’s energy to do my tasks

and yes, my friends will probably rush to help

but i’ll never feel like i deserved it

here i am

laying in bed

cuddled up to a plush shark, covered in blankets, head resting soft on a pile of pillows

feeling alone

and cold

running out the clock, until i have to go to work

and using that obligation as an excuse for failing to make any progress whatsoever

my partner, my friends, maybe even my parents will all ask me what i did today, how i’m doing

and i’ll tell them lie to them

like i always do

“oh you know, i’m fine,” i laugh lie

“just busy,” another lie

“lots of work,” a half truth “so i couldn’t finish that schoolwork,”

that chore,”

that task,”

that thing that would help,”

that thing that you’ve been asking about for months,”

every time, a lie

or at least that’s what it feels like

but it’s second nature at this point

as natural as breathing, hell, moreso

why

i don’t want to hurt these people

even posting this will be a challenge

i know they’ll see it

and they care about me, and want to help

but if i let them solve my short term problems, the long term ones pile up

i’m so used to lying about what’s happening in my life, just to avoid disappointing the people who care about me, who have invested time and emotion and resources and love, into me

and i don’t want them to give up

to know that it’s all been a waste

to understand that while there is, something wrong with me, something broken inside that makes life just that much harder

i have a hard time noticing

amidst my own self sabotage

“i’m broken,” i lie to myself “i can’t do this as easily as everyone else,”

an illusory comfort, allowing laziness, forgiving my complacency and removing any reason to change

“i’m fine”

incapable of distinguishing lie from truth within my own mind, i tell these people

and greatest sorrow, they believe me

i tell them i’m not fine enough for them to believe it when i finally say that i am

not a single person has ever noticed

not even myself

[king-crawler]

OH ALSO today I finished a new subsection to the introduction and I’m finally super happy with it (still need to edit it but whatever)

I have a couple more new sections I need to flesh out, (including a sour bill section lmao) as well as polishing the entire 2nd half of the script . So I’m keeping myself busy- But do know that I’m working on this video nearly every day and it’s turning out awesome!!!

At this rate I’m sure it will reach 2 Hours :)

My current estimate of completion is July-August ❤️ (forgive me … I Continue to move it….)

[izacore]

Harry making money off his tour- while an insane amount for one person to earn- bothers me less. I was more talking about the Azoffs and how they have insane wealth and they still are aggressively booking more shows and directly profiting. At least Harry is performing and writing. Idk. He is not faultless by any stretch but I am willing to be more gentle with him because he is still young and maybe he hasn’t really thought about how to handle such enormous wealth. I don’t begrudge him some fancy cars and nice trips and clothes and stuff, I think it’s ok for people to have those things if they can afford them. But what is old man Azoff’s excuse? He’s like 70, he doesn’t even have enough life left to spend the money he already has but he’s aggressively going after more. I don’t know how else to describe it beyond greedy and amoral. And he doesn’t have the excuse of being super busy always touring and being young that I’m willing to give Harry, he has had plenty of time to do good things with his money. Also I’m more forgiving towards Harry because I like him better oh well.

And just in case- I saw some people saying that calling the Azoffs greedy or overly focused on money is antisemitism and that is not at all what I mean. I think anyone with enormous wealth is suspect and often greedy and lacking in morals that are personally important to me. At best it’s a character flaw but I want to be crystal clear it has nothing to do with antisemitism. Just felt like I needed to say that

The antisemitism argument makes no sense to me, because many people who criticize them don't even know they are jewish lmao so if those Azoff-defenders are making this correlation then maybe they should stop and reassess themselves actually, if pulling this card is their only solution in those discussion. Listen, Polish people are seen as thieves abroad, does this mean it's Polish-phobic if a polish person commits this crime and is judged for it? lol

Yeah, for me Irving is also fueled by greed and I don't have any good words to say about him but that doesn't mean that Harry couldn't do better. Like I said, Ed Sheeran is much richer than him and similar age and he can come to the right conclusions and realizations and take control over his prices and sales. They keep saying how in control he is - where is it then? Either he is in control and people should admit that he is greedy as well, or... I don't even know what. Much smaller acts are trying to do better in terms of show-accessibility (Only the Poets off the top of my mind), so the fact Harry is not even trying (as far as we know), at some point starts making you think. And yeah, people choose to spend that money but on the other hand they kinda have no choice - why should poorer people not be allowed to enjoy live music?

[flowerslut]

I'm sooooo excited for one fell swoop!!! i loved loved loved the snippets! do you already know when you are going to post it?? also, could you give us a context about the story?

if you have more snippets i wouldn't complain yk

ahhhh! this makes me so excited! I'm also sosososo excited to finish and edit and share it!!! I always laugh thinking about this post where I shared pieces of the old draft for it (scroll to the bottom to read it on the reblog) and this specific thing I said back in 2019 makes me laugh:

it might not be for another decade but a girl would like to return to this idea! maybe!!! she’d have to rewrite the #yikesheavy one-shot first. but like. you never know..... i’ll hit y’all up again when i’m in my 30s.

well jokes on me because I turned 30 this year and have 70k of the first draft written now lmfao. #yikesheavy one-shot included. I have NO clue when I'll be posting it but not a single piece of it is going up on Ao3 or FF until the entire thing is finished and polished to perfection baby!!!! I will eventually post the first chapter of it on tumblr exclusively sometime in the next several months (yes even before I finish) but not until I throw a few more tens of thousands of words onto the 1st draft first 🤪🤪🤪

[context + a special lil treat under the cut! 😌]

I summarize the gist of the story fairly well in this answered ask from october, so it's just as I explain it there.

when the story starts we meet jasper, a 21-year-old freshly-relapsed addict who is sprinting towards rock bottom. this girl, alice, quite literally stumbles onto the scene. she's a rude little amnesiac and the most well-off homeless girl jasper's ever met (not that he has a lot to go off of). very quickly jasper finds himself stuck trying to keep this damn girl from getting herself killed while he barely wants to be alive himself. it oozes codependence! unhealthy relationships! and they make just! about! every! bad decision you can make in their positions! it's great honestly. they're having a horrible time but I'm having a fantastic time writing it and it's pretty much a super-long rewrite of the first twilight fic I ever wrote back in high school! 🤩

if we're lucky I'll be able to split my time between writing this fic and writing roots and hopefully at least one of them will be done and ready for posting by summertime!! no promises, but fingers crossed! 🤞🤞🤞

anyways here's a tiny snippet from chapter 8 since this ask just got me soooo excited to get some writing done this winter!!! enjoy!!!

---------------------------------------------

It was as he was rearranging Alice’s clothes on his arm when someone smacked him on the back of the shoulder. He stepped forward, dropping the clothes to the ground and ducking. Spinning quickly, he pulled his fists closer to his face, readying himself.

“Relax, fuck!” A man stood a few feet away, hands lifted in front of him in surrender. “I didn’t even hit you that hard.”

“Peter,” Jasper gasped, shocked to see his friend. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing, motherfucker,” usually Peter’s tone was good-natured but today it held a hint of ice. “You’ve been ignoring my calls all week.”

“My phone’s been off.” He glared, straightening himself back up. He felt a little embarrassed at reacting so severely to a clap on the back, but since getting back into town a few nights ago, he’d been especially anxious. “What are you doing here?”

“I saw your car outside. Why are you in Kohls? And,” he glanced around Jasper, his jaw going slightly slack. “Are those women’s clothes?”

“I’m shopping with a friend,” Jasper growled, turning his back to the white-blonde man and picking the clothes back up. “What do you want?”

“Just checking up on you, God,” he defended irritably. “You fell off the face of the fucking planet when you got fired from Paul’s. Forgive me for fearing the worst.”

Jasper glared down at the pile of clothes as he shuffled them back onto his arm. He hated that Peter—the only person who really knew him—would apparently just know how he’d react to news like that.

“I’m fine.” He lied.

“Then why’d Charlotte see you pulled into Maria’s driveway last Friday?”

Fuck.

“I thought you weren’t in contact with her anymore,” Peter accused, his voice low.

Jasper understood the man’s anger.  Being caught seeing her again was a shameful thing. And knowing that Peter knew about it made him feel worse. The self-hatred that fell over him in that moment was almost suffocating.

“Those aren’t for her are they?” Peter asked, voice still hard as he stared at the clothes Jasper held.

He turned back around and shook his head. There was nothing more he could really say. He was embarrassed. “Are you going to lecture me?” He asked, finally looking his only real friend in the eye.

“Depends,” he folded his arms. “How high are you right now.”

“I’m not,” he muttered. He wasn’t going to admit the fact that he wished he were, because that was a given.

[twothirdsgenius]

Tell me about love! Are you in love? Do you want to be? Could you live a life without romantic love? Is unrequited love real love?

oh FUCK yeah we’re starting right out the gate babeyyy. warning, I am going to trauma dump here but in my defense this is all shit I’ve worked through in therapy and so it will be a healthy, polished dump of trauma.

I used to be really nervous about the idea of romantic love? Not opposed but literally terrified of it? I grew up in a house with parents who didn’t love each other, and the frequent arguing and fighting I had to listen to at night when they’d thought I was asleep was just the norm, and I didn’t want that at all.

I’m on the ace spectrum somewhere, but I’m still down 100% with being in love with someone who I consider a partner in the romantic sense. I’m accepting applications now, mutuals hmu 🤙🏻

I think there are many types of love we experience through life and that none of them are inherently superior to the other. The only important thing to me is that love exists in some capacity and for that reason, I do think I would be able to live a life without romantic love but I would prefer not to? I think friendship, loyalty, and companionship are what I desire the most out of a romantic relationship, and that can be experienced with or without romance. Deadass, that’s one of the reasons why I latched onto dnp like one of those filter feeding fish who go for rides with sharks and haven’t let go since. My fourteen year old self was like oh shit it’s possible to actually like your significant other and enjoy spending time with them?

Oh boy. Unrequited love. I don’t have any experience with that as a real adult (yet) but I carried a torch for someone for like four years and it was the most cliche fucking thing in the entire world because he was (and still is) one of my best friends. It was the messiest fucking love triangle you’ve ever seen in your entire life but it was also a raging inferno of teenage hormones and our collective untreated mental illnesses and my chaotic messy home life that ended in? Apologies and forgiveness and acceptance and a very kind, easy let-down that hurt a lot less than I expected it to. Was it real love or just infatuation? I honestly still can’t say lmao but whether or not unrequited love is real love or not, it taught me a lot of important lessons about basing my own self-worth on the opinions of other people and we still do very much love and care about each other to this day. It could have been “real” love, but it was super fucking unhealthy and codependent and it almost killed me in a very real, non-metaphorical sense. That isn’t what constitutes real love to me. Real love to me is a choice you make every day and that feels like the right choice every time. It takes effort and things won’t always be 50/50 because we are flawed human beings with our own individual needs and not machines but it shouldn’t feel scary. I don’t want to have to be scared that my partner will punch a hole through the drywall if I say the wrong thing, because that wasn’t an irregular occurrence in my house. As soon as I got my driver’s license, I was as relieved because it meant I could take my brother and sister out of the house and go to Taco Bell or something while we waited for the worst of the fight to be over. I was always scared that I would come home to see either of my parents packing a bag or something even worse. I think with real love, whether it’s romantic or not, it should always feel safe and not used as a weapon.

Shit this got LONG thank you for indulging me and my adhd meds induced talkativeness anon ❤️❤️❤️ lub you

[sallysellsseashellssundays]

Disclaimer: This post is going to be Anti Moffat for anyone who’s reading and is a fan you’ve been warned.

So...I watched A Christmas Carol and I managed to suspend my disbelief for the first half but then the second half was me just being more and more frustrated by how the concept didn’t seem to be well thought out. I obviously know what the source material is, but the only things I knew about the episode going in was the scenes that people use to reference Rose which I’ll do a separate post about!

The Good: The first half was setting up an interesting premise and it showed promise. My only eye roll was how convenient that the Doctor found footage of little Kazran filming himself talking about the fish and his father hitting him but I could forgive it. The visuals were absolutely gorgeous, and I really liked the portrayal the young and old Kazran actors did (Mr. Dumbledore hello!). Abigail’s voice was hauntingly beautiful! The Doctor desperately wanting to save Kazran instead of just saving the 4003 people with the Tardis himself was actually really sweet, I’m sure he would have figured something out anyway but he kept giving him the chance to change his ways.

The Bad: I had 2 major problems with how this episode went

1.) The Doctor really just went and changed an entire man’s life? I was even more horrified when Amy didn’t see anything wrong with that when Kazran complained about it. This wasn’t Kazran being presented with how vile of a human he had become or getting a chance to see how his actions affected others but he was getting a new life with new memories! Not to mention Kazran interacted with himself, I thought that was a huge time travel no-no.

2.) I felt an uncomfortable twinge when a young Kazran looked at Abigail like THAT, and I thought “Oh dear please please don’t let this be a Reinette/Amy repeat”...cue to Abigail saying “You’ve grown and now you’re blushing”  😢. Abigail told her sister that Kazran was different from his father when they had spent I believe 5 Christmas Eve’s together, and I immediately flashbacked to Reinette and Amy apparently being a Doctor expert after spending little time with him. It’s just *sigh* super frustrating that it’s like I’m seeing the same story over and over again.

The Unresolved: I guess I’m feeling a little confused as to why Abigail absolutely has to go back to the ice box before Xmas Day and why she can’t spend more time with her family instead of Kazran. And it seems like they fit in so many trips she and Kazran might as well be full time companions at that point lol leading me to the fact that we hardly see Rory and Amy which was a bit disappointing. I really psyched myself up to see them and they barely had any screen time. The controls suddenly not working because Kazran had changed was odd I guess they weren’t set to Kazran himself but to a rude Kazran only. The Doctor pointing out the number 8 and then never looking at it again was a little too obvious, they should have just left it at the camera panning down to show 8 going to 7 and we would have understood as the audience.

Honorable mention to what I think might have been a joke about Amy and Rory roleplaying with their costumes lol??? And the horrifying loan situation they glossed over with actual people being kept in the ice boxes, what if your great-grandson paid off your debt and you were suddenly out in a new world/generation?

Overall it looked really pretty and I’m excited to see Eleven, Amy and Rory on new adventures but I feel like this episode could have been polished up a bit and thought through a bit more. I really did like the first half so it was disappointing to see how it ended. I’m still staying optimistic for the series in general!!! Looks like The Impossible Astronaut is up next and that’s one I’ve literally never heard anything about so it will all be new to me...

[whorekneecentral]

Okay but imagine getting into a fight with Lewis and you’re both giving each other the silent treatment. The thing is, you’re both missing each other so much but too equally stubborn to be the first to give in. So, just like the very adults you and Lewis are, you’re purposely walking around your shared home in a skimpy outfit (maybe a nightgown or just a thong and thin top?) while Lewis is on the balcony doing an intense workout with his glistening bare chest and bulge that’s protruding through his shorts on full display. And it isn’t until you and Lewis finally go to bed, both fully hot and bothered at this point, and you put your back to him that he finally gives in first because he can’t stand not having your body against his like you do every night. And it starts off sweet with apologies and then eventually turns into both of you being desperate and fucking the attitude out of each other and yeah :)

okay this, I fucking love this -- super cliché but it doesn't get better than this 

Lewis has gone out of his way to piss you off. Fuck him and stupid Capricorn sun because why couldn't he just agree with you? You were right but he'd never admit it because he's far too stubborn too. 

Not like you were any easier. Your stubbornness was what got you into this to start with. 

So instead to being adults and apologizing to each other, you left Lewis to his work out while you took a shower and put on a little black set, one that he had bought for you for your vacation together - it didn’t last long, spent more time on the floor than on you. 

He was on the balcony, headphones over his ears as he lifted the weights. His orange shorts hanging off his hips as he worked out. You bite the inside of your cheek as you set the nail polish on the table, just hard enough to get him to notice you there. 

Lewis watches as you walk out onto the balcony, stopping right in front of him before leaning down to scratch Roscoe’s side, giving Lewis a view down the top of your black nightgown. 

He says nothing, instead he looks away and continues his workout. “Good boy, Ros,” you pat his head before walking back inside, sitting on the couch to paint your nails. Your leg up on the coffee table, giving him a view of your bare leg. 

He’s had enough - walking inside and heading to take a shower. 

At some point after your nails have dried, you find your way to bed. Lewis was in the bathroom, the door open as you get into bed. The towel hanging on his hips as he tied back his hair. 

You can’t help but look - even though you were mad, he was still hot. 

Lewis pulls on some shorts, finding his way to bed. Your back is to him when he settles in and he can’t help himself - he snakes an arm over your waist, pulling you back to him. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, so quiet that you almost miss it. 

You hum, resting a hand on his. “Come on, forgive me. I miss you.” He says, peeking over your shoulder. “I’ve been here all day, Lew.” 

“I miss having you in my arms,” he admits to you as you roll over to face him, your leg hooked over his hip. 

Lewis’s hand rubbing along the bare skin, his lips on your neck, moving down to the low neckline of your nightgown. “I missed you,” he hums against the skin, his free hand pulling his shorts down.

“I missed kissing you,” his lips find yours as he lines himself up with you, your hand on his shoulder. 

“I missed fucking you.” He whispers as he pushed into you - you giggled at that one, the argument only happening this morning and you two had sex last night. 

“I missed you too.” you mumbles against his lips.

[hardyimagines]

Equivalent

again! hello! i want to do a drabble for the characters that i intend on writing super lengthy stories for, so here is another little one shot / potential second parter so i can find my way back to Alfie

warnings: swearing!

———————————————————————

“Mr. Solomons.” It was difficult for you not to roll your painted eyelids. The shimmering powder that had been applied earlier that morning was visible even in the dimly lit establishment. “Let’s pretend for a moment that we’re both grown ups, can you handle that?” His obvious flirting was beginning to get on your last nerve and you hadn’t even been here for more than twenty minutes. The lengthy lashes attached to your lined eyelid almost tickled your shaped brow with each and every slow blink.

Alfie’s brows were hidden beneath the long brim of his thick, black hat. Beneath that accessory though, you were positive his bushy brows were arched by your mocking comment seeing as his eyes were glazed over with the most challenging and disbelieving tint you’d seen in a man’s eyes since your last business meeting.

His blue eyes fell away from your pointed stare in order to rake down the length of your curved neck and down to your exposed breasts. He could practically feel the way your eyes narrowed as he ogled your bosom. “Forgive me, yeah, but they were staring at me first.” The quiet squeak of his hand tightening around his thick-wooded cane caught your attention. You lowered your heavy gaze away from his features and inspected the way his knuckles whitened under his overbearing grip.

The eyeroll you sent in his direction made the small boy at the bloke’s side shuffle. Ollie, was it? The brunette was shifting his weight from side to side in the oak chair, fingers trembling around his grip on the clipboard. Not too long ago, Sabini had been sat in the chair you filled, exchanging words with his boss as Ollie hurried to scribble down each and every deal and agreement.

Temptation was strong. It was so strong, like the burning ache of desire you felt that stung the back of your throat when you stared at a glass of whiskey or rum. It was strong like lust, the swirling impatience that formed and suffocated your insides, curling in your lower belly with so much need. It was very similar to how you felt now - only instead of being tempted to have a shag or a drink, you were tempted to throttle the man across from you and hold the barrel of your polished revolver against the side of his temple. But you were far too mature, and far too admired to do something so risky without thinking twice.

“Mr. Solomons.” The man rubbed his lips together slowly at the formal approach once more. “Must I take my business elsewhere? I won’t be known for making deals with a child, and you,” You ogled him pointedly, as if waiting for him to drag his beady eyes away from your breasts and make eye contact once more. He did, but it certainly took a few moments. “wouldn’t surprise me if you started crying because you’re teething.” The challenging squint you passed in his direction made him straighten. He wasn’t fond of the way that you were speaking to him in front of his men, and he also wasn’t fond of the way he was beginning to enjoy it. Riling you up was proving to be fun. He liked the annoyance that swam in your gaze and the tension that built in your shoulders as you hunched forward to make yourself perfectly clear with every venomous word you spoke.

“Right, I’m sorry, aint I.” Alfie adjusted his cane slowly. Rotating the wood, he laid the length of it across his lap slowly before planting his hands down flat against the scratched table. His rings tinked quietly against the surface, dragging along the oak each time he’d swipe his hand in one direction or the other, scraping his jewelry in the process as he spoke. “We got off on the wrong foot, didn’t we, Miss. Go on then, right, let’s hear you little plan again. Promise you, this time, good old Alfie’s fucking listening.”

The saliva in your mouth was sucked through the gaps in your teeth. Swallowing, in order to moisten your drying throat, you shook your head in disbelief before absently beginning to rotate your ankle beneath the table. Unbeknownst to you, every rotate of your slender foot caused the tip of your heeled boot to lazily graze the calf of the well known man across from you, grazing his trousers in a way that made the man think you were flirting with him.

“I won’t repeat myself again.” You insisted. This was the last time he’d hear your offer. “I know you may think you’ve got some sort of manly power over me, since you’re no doubt intimated by a woman coming in here and making demands. But I want just as serious of a deal as any other hardworking person that comes through those doors. Now,” Alfie clenched his jaw as you swiftly continued on, unallowing him to cut in and state that he, in fact, treated women no differently than men. He just ogled them for far longer because they were much more enticing to stare at. After a few moments, he realized he was probably glad you hadn’t let him open his mouth, he probably would’ve said something unknowingly, and borderline, sexist. “I want you to do my heavy lifting. I can offer you men, several more hands to help you with all that you need done in your little distillery. I have clientele, angry one’s, that need to be disposed of. Unfortunately for me, that is a headache of a job to take care of and I’d much rather have a trusty bloke, such as yourself, handle that for me. Now, in return, I will help transport some of your bread.” You squinted in his direction, attempting to read him. “The white only. The brown is of no interest to me. I deal with bosses, men and women alike. I don’t make deals with low-down workers. Shelby, Sabini, Changretta, I know the lot of people you’ve been dealing with Solomons and not a single one of them would grasp my attention for even half of a second. But you, Mr. ‘I make a deal or death’..” There was a playful smirk playing on your pink lips now and a very long pause. “Are you going to shoot me, Solomons?” Lazily lifting your arm, you peered down at your red nails, painted perfectly before you slowly extended your arm and wiggled your nimble fingers.

The questioning look in his eye was enough to make you want to giggle. He was pondering every word you’d said. Even if the deal hadn’t sounded too entirely tempting, the fact that you’d said you only deal with the big boys and girls was enough to make Alfie swirl his tongue around in contemplation. “Being that you’re talking about me fucking over a few not-so-friendly men, what kind of protection does that leave me with, yeah? I think, right, actually, I fucking know, the second I breathe out the word ‘deal’ to you, the three of them’ll just barge in here, right, and have my fucking head.” His hands lifted to his chest before opening in a widespread motion, palms pointed toward the ceiling and bracelets shaking under the movement. “Now, why don’t you make your deal just a little more flattering?”

You rubbed your teeth together absently before fixating your orbs on the ceiling. “Didn’t expect you, of all people, to seek protection.” You supposed you were asking him to screw over several of his previous business negations though. But 200 barrels of white bread was far more money than 300 barrels of brown. Oh, he was going to work for you, in fact, he’d probably beg if you’d have let him. “Alright, Mr. Solomons. I can offer you a new relationship with the police. And not one like Tommy Shelby was offering.”

“The police round here, yeah, can’t fucking stand me. I don’t think that’ll be enough protection.” Alfie ground his teeth together. He was a big boy. He’d gladly kill Sabini, Changretta, and Shelby if it came down to it. But he’d like to avoid a bloodbath if at all possible. But not having to watch his back every second of every day would be nice.

You hummed lowly, absently pulling your attention from the ceiling so that you could look back toward Alfie. “I’ll double the men then. Send some to be lookouts. My men are highly professional and far more capable than the lousy gits you’ve got standing guard.” You pressed your palms against the table and slowly began to lift yourself up and out of the chair. Rising above the seated men in front of you, you passed him a slow smile. “I’m a woman that a lot of people want dead.” Trustworthy as you may be, the very deal you’d made Alfie had been offered up to several other’s too. Fuck over so and so, work for me instead, and I’ll give you things you’ve never dreamed of — that was the big, tempting headline nobody had said no to thus far. That being said, those at the shit end of the stick always tended to be on the hunt for you. “And I’ve been in business for probably as long as you have. I have good people watching my back and I can promise to ensure you the very same.” There was a long silence. Ollie’s pen scratching the length of the paper was the only sound in the room before you reached in Alfie’s direction. “Do we have a deal?”

Alfie stood slowly. Adjusting the hat that sat on his head, he slowly lifted the cap up and off of him before placing it on the table. He smoothed out his previously flattened strands of hair and rubbed down the length of his beard, from the tops of it, down and along the length of it. He was fucking around now, you could see that. His thumb nail scratched at a rough patch of hair and his bent pinky grazed his lips as he put on a lengthy display of consideration.

“Five..” You exhaled breathily.

Alfie quirked a brow.

“Four..” You continued, a look of distaste forming in your dark pools.

Alfie was almost smirking by this point, hand falling away from his fast to collide with the table.

“Three..” Your word dripped with impatience, but your tone was neutral, as if you had all the time in the world. “Two..” You said, rolling your neck to the side. Extending it, you let your eyes flutter for a moment before shoving them back open and giving a final warning. “One.”

Alfie’s hand slid nicely into your own. His was much larger and veiny. The cold jewelry tickled your digits as he firmly gripped your small palm in his own and gave it a gentle shake. “Deal.” He said quietly, holding his blue eyes steadily on your own unwavering one’s.

With a firm, final squeeze, you made motion to pull your hand away, but he lugged you back forward so that he could lean against the table. You gasped in surprise, almost losing your balance as he hauled you forward just enough so his pink lips could lay against your ear. You held your free hand up quickly to cease the rushing sound of men’s feet. You never went anywhere without at least six of your guards. Two in the room, two outside the room, and two outside the building. “It’s fine.” You dismissed them breathily, Alfie’s manage to catch you off guard was evident in your tone.

“If you, yeah, fuck me, I promise I’ll fucking do the same to you.” Alfie ground out. There was a warning in his words that you picked up on rather clearly. His threat was serious, but he’d purposefully worded that sentence to pull a particularly strong eye roll from you.

“It isn’t wise to threaten me so soon, Mr. Solomons. And I promise you, if I were to fuck you, you’d be dead.” Your dainty hand lifted to press against his strong shoulder. Tapping the muscular surface triumphantly, you turned your head so that you could stare him in the eye. Every breath he let free wafted over your own lips and his nose was practically touching your own. “Good evening, Alfie. It was a pleasure.” Hardly, you thought to yourself. This man was going to be a headache.

And with that, you pulled away and turned on your heel. Your strong stride was the last thing Alfie Solomons saw before you pushed the heavy doors open and left without another word. He could hear the clicking of your heels, fading with every footstep as the noise signaled your departure. You were gone now, but the room still faintly smelled of vanilla and his hand was still burning from the warmth of your small one. Ollie inspected the smirk Alfie wore, watching as the man straightened.

“I like her.” Alfie noted.

Ollie shuffled in his seat. “Want me to write that down?”

Alfie almost scoffed. “No.” The burly man grunted, sending the lad a look as if he had two heads. “No, but I do want you to go ahead and schedule me another meeting with that one.” He was already looking forward to seeing that annoyed curve of your lip and the challenging squint you seemed so keen on giving him. He was positively curious to know more about you, and that was never a good thing for Mr. Solomons. He was too curious for his own good. “Right, lads, back to fucking work.” He clapped, shooing everyone from the room as he grabbed his hat and his cane. He, too, piled out of the room. His footsteps were much quieter, much slower, and unlike your powerful aura and pleasant success, he traipsed up the stairs feeling a sense of longing. He hoped he’d see you again, very, very soon.

———————————————————————

Is this awful!? It feels awful. ),: Mr. Solomons and I have been apart for so long, we’re gonna find our way back to our mesh. But I hope you guys enjoy this for now. I’m half asleep and felt like drabbling lol <3

Tags:

@lothiriel9 @potter-solomons @ellar21 @liesandghosts @eastenderkray @innerpaperexpertcloud @strangunddurm @hylianhighlander @misselsbells06 @mollybegger-blog @solomons-finest-rum @ghost-of-student-sufferings @jarvisrocks @caffinated-tree @crownthecaylin @enchantingkryptoniteruins @rvnclwreads @rikki-b-lake @joan2914 @wittysunflower @margaret-morriss-secrethideout

[danielxricciardo]

Hi there! I don’t know if you got my ask before😭 but I did sent one about Daniel being jealous type? Like Max is Reader’s ex and got bit too touchy and familiar to the reader at party, and like Daniel and Max got into a fight and where other drivers need to break them up. Angst story please! I wanna see Daniel super jealous and protective over his gf.🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

I am so sorry for not writing the last request!!! I had an extremely busy period and there will be a few more crazy weeks! At first I tried to write in order but I didn't have much inspiration so I started writing randomly! So sorry again!

Summary: You are Daniel's girlfriend and he is jealous on Max, your ex.

Warnings: angst, a little swearing

Word count: 1.7k

Jealousy is an insane feeling... It comes out when you are very affectionately attached to someone or that even the thought of its possession with someone else creates a rage in your heart.

It can be constructive or destructive depending on how you presume to take it.

For him, in any way, it feels like his heart is in a constant state of dropping, his legs get shaky, he feels a twisting in his stomach and all he wants to do is snap at people. It's a horrible feeling that he feels a lot.

Jealousy can come from the fear of losing one or more of the following: power, love, sex, and possessions. Jealousy is a powerful emotion. It exists for a reason, to protect ourselves, but can cause havoc if left unchecked.

A jealous man who feels insecure in himself believes he’s not good enough to keep another person attracted to him over time. He fears that someone better than him is going to make his loved one reconsider their relationship.

Daniel never showed you that he was jealous. Although you were Max's ex-girlfriend, Max should be the one upset and jealous of the two, right? Because after you two broke up, friendly, of course, you soon got together with his best friend.

"Hey, love!" Daniel called to you from the bathroom. "I know you won't let me see the dress, although it is bullshit to me because we're going to a gala, not to our wedding, but can you at least tell me what color it will be? I need to choose a tie."

"Red." you answer from the bedroom, focused not to ruin your nail polish. "And it's not bullshit. I want to surprise you."

"For all I care, you can come dressed in a sack of potatoes and I will still think you are the most beautiful woman in the world."

"Mmm I smell bullshit!" you joke.

The FIA Prize Giving Ceremony is an annual event promoted by Fédération Internationale de l'Automobile which honors the achievements of all drivers over the past season.

Although you are not new to this sport, going to Grand Prix as the girlfriend of a driver for more than 5 years, you have never been present at a gala. Of course, you were invited every year, only something always happened and you couldn't go. This year, however, you wanted to be present, especially since Daniel was going to receive the Action of the Year award.

Daniel left before you, he and the boys rented a limousine with which they would get there, and you and the other girls would arrive, also with a limousine. You're not the type to refuse a limousine, especially since you've never been in one, but Daniel and the other boys had to leave their personal cars at the gala because the limousine won't leave you at home, you'll each go to your homes with your own cars.

You were wearing a beautiful backless, tight-fitting red dress, having almost like a silk texture to it, perfectly shaped to fit your figure, strapless, having a corset that makes your breasts bigger than they really were.

When Daniel saw you, you were sure he forgot to breathe for a few seconds. His already large eyes seemed to protrude from his pupils. Your heart had started beating faster, and you had butterflies in your stomach. Even though you had been together for more than three years, you still felt like you were looking at him for the first time.

"You're splendid," he tells you when he helps you out of the limousine. He kisses your hand and you see the dozens of paparazzi flashes towards you.

"You don't look bad either," you answer and enter the building.

Inside were hundreds of people talking to each other and looking like they were having fun. Daniel leads you to your table where you two were seated with Max, Charles, Esteban, and Sebastian with their girlfriends.

"What do you want to drink?" Daniel asks you as he takes off his jacket and leaves it on the back of the chair.

"A glass of white wine."

Daniel kissed you on the cheek and went to get you your drinks. You look around to try to recognize someone and notice that Max is coming towards you.

"Hey, Y/N! Wow, you're so beautiful!" he says and takes your hand to spin you to see you well. "Daniel is a lucky man."

You giggle.

"I saw Kelly, she's gorgeous too! And you're a lucky man because you have her."

He laughs and takes a sip of his drink.

"Yes, you're right. She looks great," he says and looks after her.

Kelly was talking with two women you didn't recognize. It was as if she felt the two of you looking at her, she turned her head towards you and waved.

"Daniel will receive an award, right? Good for him."

"Yes!" you say joyful. "I'm so proud of him."

Max leans over and lightly touches your cheek. You look at him with wide eyes, not understanding what was happening.

"You had a fallen eyelash," he says. "Make a wish."

Before you even thought about a wish to make, you heard glasses breaking, then you saw Max thrown to the floor by someone. Not just someone. Daniel.

Your head was buzzing and you couldn't hear what Daniel was shouting. But you could hear the sound of his fists and the screams of several people who immediately came to separate them.

"What the fuck? Daniel!" Max said as soon as he was lifted from under Daniel.

Kelly immediately ran to him and took his face in her hands, looking for the wounds. He was going to have some pretty big bruises.

"She's my girlfriend!"

Your eyes widened and you immediately looked at Max, who mimicked your movements. What the hell was Daniel talking about?

"Yeah, and Kelly is my girlfriend too. Are we still getting to know each other or are you going to tell me what the fuck happened to you, dickhead?"

"And your girlfriend, Kelly, does she agree with this intimacy between you and Y/N? And don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. I saw you earlier, you almost kissed!"

"Do you hear what you're saying, jerk? She had a fallen eyelash! Get your head out of your ass and realize that no one is trying to steal your girlfriend. Neither I nor anyone else."

You snort and everyone turns to you. Your face had taken on the color of the dress: red. You were angry. You were shaking and you wanted to beat Daniel, but you were at a formal event; although that didn't stop Daniel from punching Max a few times. You take a step towards Daniel and slap him across the face, hard enough to sting.

"In the car. Now!" You command Daniel and head for the exit, all the people who had gathered around you now getting out of your way.

In the car, none of you had said anything. You didn't know if you had to start saying something or you should wait for him. You had so much to say, but how did you get started? You had so many curses prepared for him, but in what order did you tell them? You wanted to die of shame because of the little stunt Daniel did inside.

You snort, probably for the hundredth time in just a few minutes, and get out of the car.

"Where are you going?" Daniel shouted after me.

He's joking? Because it seems so to you. How dare he ask you where you're going, considering that since you got back in the car he hasn't said a damn thing. He even acted as if your presence bothered him. It's like he doesn't care about you.

You wanted to leave. Go home.

It's just a small problem. The building where the gala took place was in a part of town where you had never been before. You didn't know the way back to the house, you didn't have any money with you to get an Uber and you didn't want to enter the building you just left, ashamed, to ask someone to take you home.

Even though you didn't know where you were, you got out of the car and head for the gate you entered by car.

"Y/N!"

You snort angrily and hurry up. You try to keep calm and not run away, although you are sure that you could not run considering that you are wearing huge heels. You don't realize when he got behind you but now he grabs your hand and stops you. You try to jerk, but he only tightens his grip around your wrist. You face him, giving him the angriest look you're capable of, but he doesn't even deserve it.

"Let me go, please."

You frown. Daniel doesn't say anything and doesn't move, as if he were a stone sheepfold. He is tense and slightly agitated. Finally, he withdraws his hand, then passes it through his curly hair, then puts it in the pocket of his cloth pants.

"I am sorry," he says softly and you can barely hear what he said. "I was jealous."

"Jealousy? Why?"

He shrugs.

"I have no idea."

"You do not trust me?" you ask, feeling like you're about to cry.

He nods frantically.

"It's not like that at all... My jealousy does not come from a lack of trust. It comes with the insecurity when I thought that someone may take my place or was trying to take my place."

"But Max and I are in the past, you are my future..." you say and bite your lip. "You had to talk to me, not pull that little stunt inside. Do you realize what the papers will say tomorrow?"

"Do you think you can forgive me?"

"You need to apologize to Max. I won't have the whole face bruised tomorrow."

[existslikepristin]

The Kinktober chapters continue! I was super happy btw because I hit exactly 2k words on this... then I had to fuck it up with this stupid intro and the tags. T_T

Only self-edited this time, so please forgive the relatively low quality (even though it's totally appropriate to this week's theme).

Tags: NSFW, TheLounge, Sounds, Dreamcatcher, Momoland, Gahyeon, Jane, Kinktober!, bimbofication, humiliation, a bit of butt stuff, honestly Gahyeon is just so mean *crying emoji*, the appearance of non/dub-con, this fic SLAPS... please laugh this tag is hilarious and relevant

Kinktober Week 2

Week 2: Bimbofication + Humiliation (Rolls by Sol and Kimmie respectively)

“Hurry it up Jane,”

“I’m s-sorry! I’m trying! Please don’t punish me!” Jane stumbled after Gahyeon like a baby giraffe through the parking garage.

Gahyeon looked back with a long mental groan. She looked the pink lemonade-themed slut up and down. Jane’s moderately tall height was enhanced to truly ridiculous proportions by thirteen centimeter hot pink stilettos with peep holes to show off her canary toenail polish. Her fingernails were the same, besides a couple of pink accents. She had a pair of silver anklets, but they were all that covered any part of her legs, since her pastel pink zip-on-for-easy-removal skirt was too short to cover anything. In fact, Gayheon could see the sunshine yellow sling bikini, which looked more like a pair of cloth strips, coming all the way up from her pussy, through the skirt and tiny matching tube top, and wrapping around to meet at the back of her neck. It looked almost like an extremely long necklace. And in fact, just like a necklace would be, it was somehow completely backless.

Jane’s makeup was similarly garish, heavy on the eyeliner and smoky shadow, and fresh barbie lip gloss. In fact, they were just leaving a stylist salon where they’d gotten her hair touched up too. There was no sign of her naturally dark hair. Instead, it was beach bleach blonde, long, and wavy, with the ends shifting into pink. A pair of gigantic, rose gold hoop earrings peeked out from the waves.

If only she would stop looking around nervously and trying to cover herself with her arms.

Gahyeon, who was fully and reasonably clothed, snatched one of her wrists and yanked her forward. She knew that Jane had plenty of experience in such tall heels, so the delay was rather frustrating. “Why are you so fucking stupid, Jane? Whores don’t cover their tits.”

“But G-Gahyeon, I’m not—”

A death glare was enough to cut her off immediately, but Gahyeon wasn’t going to stop there. She pulled Jane down to her height and grabbed her face with the other hand, squeezing her cheeks and forcing her lips to pucker. Jane’s eyes grew wide.

“Nobody asked you what you are or what you aren’t. If I say something to you, if it even just sounds like I’m just implying something, it’s true as far as you’re concerned. Got it?”

Jane fidgeted apprehensively. Every time her eyes shifted away from the penetrating stare, Gahyeon squeezed harder.

“O-okay.”

“You understand?”

“I understand.”

“Are you sure? You’re an idiot after all.”

Jane bit her lip and shut her eyes for a second before Gahyeon shook her face. When they reopened, they were glistening with held back tears. “Y-yeah, I get it.”

“How?”

“Because you t-told me.”

“So what are you?” Gahyeon’s every response was immediate, snapping back at Jane like crocodiles.

Of course, Jane’s responses were hesitant, like she was looking into the watering hole without a mama giraffe nearby. “I’m a… an idiot.”

“What else?”

“A whore.”

Gahyeon shoved Jane back. Red spots marred her cheeks where Gahyeon’s fingers had pressed in. “And you wanted attention, right, whore? Earn it. You’re supposed to be an idol. Dance.”

“Here?!” Jane glanced side to side, apparently suddenly very conscious of the very public location. Why she hadn’t thought about that earlier, walking around in an outfit that clearly embarrassed her, Gahyeon couldn’t fathom.

“Yes. It’s either that or you know what.” Jerking her head in the direction of the van, Gahyeon started walking again, only looking over occasionally to make sure Jane was following and gauging her reactions.

Jane grimaced. Her arms tightened against her sides and flailed up and down at the elbows, seemingly trying to decide whether or not to defy Gahyeon’s commands. “I can’t… do that.”

“You’re gonna dance then. ‘Bang Bang.’ Go.”

“D-do you mean ‘Baam?’”

“I mean the one that sounds like a fucking goose on acid. The one where you swing your hips, put your hands in the air, and bounce around like a slut.”

Gahyeon could see the tears building in the corners of Jane’s enormous eyes. She kept pressing. “Sorry, not specific enough? I mean the one you stole from some Russians! But not the remixed version you call another album. The original plagiarized version.”

There was the bite. The tears spilled out of Jane’s eyes, taking a stream of mascara with them. It was time for the death roll.

“Too bad you don’t have enough ass to get attentio—Oh! I remember! It’s the one where you try, and fail, to get people to pay attention to your sorry lack of boobs or your half-a-pre-chorus worth of lines instead of focusing entirely on Nancy.”

The baby giraffe joined the circle of life. It was a good thing they had reached the van because Jane dove between it and the next car to crouch and cry. But Gahyeon couldn’t let that happen. She wasn’t done yet. She tangled her fingers in Jane’s hair, wrenched her back upright, pushed her back against the van door, and pulled on the bottom of the sling bikini up to rub it against her clit. As usual, Jane’s tear-soaked face correlated perfectly to her cum-soaked pussy. “Now are you going to dance or not, you dumb slut?”

Jane’s breath caught. She must have barely been holding in her slutty moans. Her fingers searched for something to grip on the van door, but the handles were out of reach. She bit her lip and shook her head, presumably as an answer to Gahyeon’s question, eyes closed but still squeezing out the occasional tear.

“You know what you have to do then? Since you’re being a stupid bitch about it?” Gahyeon swapped hands, shoving a fingertip into Jane’s cheek.

Her already wide mouth spread even wider as she grit her teeth to keep from sobbing. “I’m a st—I’m a stupid bitch!”

Gahyeon snaked her fingers around the bikini into Jane’s pussy and pressed hard against her g spot, coaxing a gasping moan out of her, which quickly turned into a crying whine that she bit back once more. “Wow, you copied me like you copied those Russian artists. But that’s not what you should be doing. If you're not going to dance, you have to do something else for me.”

“I-I-I’m a dirty slut. I’m your s-slut! Ple-ease, Gahyeon!”

“What the hell… You dumb fuck.” Gahyeon pulled her fingers out of Jane’s cunt and slapped her across the face too quickly for her to react. “Look at me when you’re talking! You know what dumb girls like you have to do. Now hurry up and do it!”

The cum on the thematically appropriate light pink handprint on Jane’s face glimmered in the shitty fluorescent parking garage light. She slowly opened her eyes. Her chin trembled. "No, please... I-I don’t want to do it."

Gahyeon slapped her again. The cracking noise was just that little extra loud since she was hitting a moist surface, and echoed through the garage. Jane flinched away. "Okay! I'll—" She paused and tensed up as Gahyeon dipped her fingers back inside her and ground a palm against her clit. "I'll do it!"

Her words weren't enough. Gahyeon moved for another slap, but Jane winced, pulling her shoulders up around her neck and her hands to her face. But her hands weren't there defensively. She was finally doing as she was told.

Jane's hands balled into fists, pointer fingers still extended, pressing into her cheeks. Her tears poured faster, further wrecking her makeup. Her lips twitched. Choking sounds of pain, pleasure, and mental anguish combined escaped her throat. It was barely a whisper. "B-bbuing bbuing."

"Louder." Gahyeon's command was low, a vague threat.

"Bbuing…" Jane loosed a single sob. Her legs quivered, grinding for more friction on Gahyeon’s hand. She spoke louder, but quicker, like a child trying to get away with saying a naughty word in class. "Buibuing."

“I said louder, you fucking bimbo!”

Jane ducked her head, defensively burying her cheek in her shoulder. “Bbuing bbuing!” she shouted. But to Gahyeon’s delight, she didn’t put her fingers down.

“Again.”

There was only a little hesitation out of Jane. “Bbu—eep!”

Gahyeon unzipped Jane’s skirt and let it fall to the garage floor. She felt even more juices, practically pouring out of Jane like a running tap. Heat radiated from her core like she was running on an internal combustion engine. “Keep going, slut. It’s not like you’re any more exposed now than you were before.”

“B-b-bbuing bbuing!” Jane rose in pitch as Gahyeon yanked upward on the bikini again.

“Don’t you dare stop.”

A noise somewhere on the opposite side of the garage made Jane’s eyes go wide and she whipped her head around in its direction. Gahyeon grabbed her by the jaw and forced her head forward again. “What did I just say?”

“But Gahyeon! What if—ah!”

Gahyeon flicked Jane between the eyebrows. “Sluts like you aren’t allowed to give a fuck. Let them hear how cute you think you are.”

Jane grimaced again, but curled her fingers into the classic kitten-idol gesture. “Bbuing bbuing.”

“Louder.” Gahyeon growled and flicked her in the same spot again.

“Bbuing bbui—ah! P-plea—ah! Bbuing bbuing!” The cutesy noises became less cute and more desperate as Gahyeon alternated between flicking Jane’s forehead, slapping her if her hands dropped, and tugging on the sling bikini.

Gahyeon’s mind wandered as she kept up the abuse, wondering why she’d started smacking the poor girl around in the first place. But, she supposed, she didn’t need an actual reason when the whole act was for someone’s sexual gratification. It’s not like they were in some sort of pointless alternate universe, breaking anybody else’s immersion, or like it would matter if they were.

Jane was repeating “bbuing bbuing” and shielding her ears with her kitty paws, partially crouched a little below Gahyeon’s height. Her makeup had been ruined far earlier than Gahyeon had planned, but the black streaks and smudges all over were shockingly sexy. Gahyeon stopped her assault and pulled Jane’s hands away from her ears.

“Look at you, you dumb shit. What kind of idol breaks down crying just because they’re a little embarrassed at having to act cute? It’s no fucking wonder you’re so unpopular. Even your members that quit the group still get more love than you.”

She’d have continued, but she paused when Jane reopened her enormous, glistening eyes. Gahyeon liked those eyes. She grabbed Jane’s face and pushed her harder against the van with a fierce kiss. The taste of the tears on her lips would have been much better if they weren’t saturated with mascara.

As they kissed, Gahyeon reached down between them, wrapped a hand around the drenched bikini fabric, and pulled down. She was met with a bit of resistance and a squeal until she felt a small pop. Then another. Then one more, and the resistance gave way. Gahyeon broke the kiss and held up the string of three large beads that, until then, held the end of the bikini in place. She pushed them into Jane’s open, panting mouth. Although the beads were big enough to make Jane gag, she dutifully kept them behind her glossy pink lips.

“Pick up your skirt and get in the car, twat.”

Quivering from her head to her yellow-painted toes, Jane stared expectantly up at Gahyeon as she let the anal beads fall out of her mouth and into her palm. Gahyeon gave her one last slap across the face, making her squeak and drop them.

“G-Gahyeon?” Jane asked as she bent over to get her skirt.

“What now, Jane? Hurry it up.”

Jane’s mouth spread into a shaky smile. “When we get to y-your place… Please d-don’t sit on my face, o-or spank me, or fuck m-me silly while you tell me how m-much I suck.”

Gahyeon smiled back. She received that message loud and clear.

[istanleyff7]

TOTP, Episode Aerith, Scenes 28-35

Final Fantasy VII Remake: Traces of Two Pasts Episode 2: Aerith Scenes 28-35 A Light Novel by Kazushige Nojima Translated by Stanley (@istanleyff7 on twitter) Scene 28

Aerith intended to find a job on her own, but Elmyra had already promptly sorted it out. It was to help the teachers at the Sector 5 House. Even though it was a job, she didn't feel that she was working because she spent most of her time playing with the children. She wanted to know about the world that she hasn't experienced. Yoko, who was older than her, had already left the house. She rented a house with a group of friends and made jewellery, which she sold in markets around Midgar. Jean and X collected machine parts from the scrapyard, polished them and sold them to people who needed them. Elmyra frowned when she told her this and ordered that she must never leave Sector 5 no matter what. 

"You said that if you restrained me, you'd be the same as Shinra. Have you forgotten?"

"I can’t believe you said that kind of stuff to your mother."

Elmyra looked very tired. Her work probably took a toll on her. If she had continued her "business" with Carlo and the others, she would not have had to work this hard. No matter how Aerith thought about it, she felt Elmyra let go of the business because of her. They were not a real parent and child, and she didn't have to care for her in the first place. Aerith wondered if she really had those inner thoughts, and she sure did. Was the given circumstances the reason why she tried to hold herself back with unnecessary words? Now, she was retaliating as a way to get back at Elmyra for tying her down.

Scene 29

"That's really sick."

"Yup, I admit it. My rebellious phase made things worse. I didn't have things to pour my heart and soul into, unlike you, Tifa."

"I really recommend exercising."

"Yeah, I’ll do that eventually."

"Yeah right… I’m sure.... You’ll do that eventually…."

"So, even though all these happened, I continued to help out at the house. The kids were so cute. They loved me. By the time I was fourteen, I didn't have much to complain about. But..."

Scene 30

After finishing work at the Sector 5 House, Aerith headed down the alley back home and saw people within the Gainsborough property standing by the entrance, unintentionally blocking it. There were two men and two women, and they seemed to be looking at the garden and the house. She recognised one of the men. His long, beautiful golden hair had not changed.

"Rodin!" Aerith called out to him instinctively. 

The face she saw when he looked back was unmistakably Rodin's.

"Yo, Aerith!" Rodin called back to her cheerfully, but for some reason, still looking about his surroundings.

"You've grown taller, haven't you? How long has it been?"

"It's been two years? Maybe slightly more than that?"

"Ahhh, yeah around that long."

She also looked at the other three to see if she knew them.

"Cheers."

Their eyes met. The young man with a large body and a boy's face raised his hand bashfully.

"Eh? Is that you, Marcellus?"

"Ah, you recognise me?"

"Of course."

Although Aerith replied that, she did not think that he was the same as back then. His physique became like his father's.

"I brought Marcellus here because, for some reason, he insisted on seeing you, Aerith."

Rodin took a step back, seeming like he made an excuse. There was a sense of discomfort. Marcellus darted his eyes from place to place and Aerith could sense his nervousness. He scratched his cheeks two or three times and started to speak in an awkward manner.

"Aerith. Firstly, I want to apologise for calling you a thief. Please forgive me. I was really a stupid kid.  I hated anything and everything about the world at that time. I didn't even control myself."

"I had already forgiven you. I'm glad you seem to be doing fine."

Marcellus's face lit up.

"Yea, I've been doing fine, thanks to you. Some thugs were chasing after me, then I ran away before a monster attacked me, and I was dying. Then I had a dream that you came to save me. For the longest time, I thought that it was a dream. Even if you were close by to me, you had no reason to save me, and you definitely couldn't be close by. But I had heard it from Carlo the other day that you knew where I was. Carlo didn't believe your reason. That's why he didn't tell anyone about it for a long time."

Aerith gave a faint smile, thinking that it was best not to deny or confirm anything. Damn you, Carlo.

"So I did a lot of research, and I've been wondering if it was the influence of the Lifestream. It's the flow of Spirit Energy. Do you know about it?"

"Nope."

She pretended not to know anything.

"Mako Energy sucks away the Lifestream..."

"Marcellus!" the young lady had been quiet the whole time, rebuked at him. "You're not allowed to talk badly about Mako Energy. I'll tell Papa if you do."

She then looked over at Aerith—

"My brother can talk about this for a super long time. Hey, have you been well?"

It was Rona.

"Yup. It looks like you're doing well too, Rona. How's Mr Meguro?"

"I can't say he's fine, but he's doing better now than when we left the slums. The air is better on the plate. You see, it's polluted and cloudy here, isn't it? I didn't know that until we left."

Rona was the same as before. She hurts people without meaning to.

"What's Carlo doing now?"

"He's working hard and is managing the business well. But I do wonder how he was during The Sector 5 Clash..."

"The Sector 5.... Clash?"

"You don't know about it?" Rona was shocked. "After Papa retired and Carlo became head of the household, the Corneo's, and some other ambitious, unknown people, came into Sector 5. Carlo and the others tried to get rid of them, and there was a bloody clash. Marvin, Roger and Bowman died, unfortunately."

"Eh...."

Aerith wondered how she could not have known about that.

"Well, things have already settled down, so there isn't an issue. And everyone has settled down where they should be," Rodin said, looking around again.

"Well then, Marcellus, Rona, are you both done? You both still can send letters in the future."

"Elmyra will be back soon. Do you all want tea?"

"I'm afraid we can't have tea either. We're actually not allowed in the Special District."

"Special District?"

"It spans from the station until here," Marcellus said. "It was established by Shinra around the time the Clash began. We weren't allowed to fight in the Special District. Anyone who breaks this rule would be executed. It was the only rule that everyone obeyed."

"I wonder what made this district special."

"Eh? Of course, it's because you're here, Aerith!" Rona could not hide her shock as she said it out loud.

"Okay! That's enough!" Rodin panicked.

"You both talked too much. Well then, let's go." Rodin urged them.

Marcellus hurriedly tried to arrange another meeting with Aerith. It seemed that he wanted to talk about the "mysterious incident". Aerith gave him a faint nod and dodged his attempt to do so. Rona invited her to come up to the plate to play, and Aerith replied that she would ask Elmyra. The four of them began leaving the alley. But Rodin turns around and points to a woman beside him. She was the one who was not introduced until the end. 

"This woman is Amber, and we'll be getting married soon. Would you please pass the news to Elmyra? It's unfortunate that I couldn’t introduce Amber to her."

Amber looked at Aerith with an angry look on her face.

↞↠

When Aerith got home, she looked at a stand, which had a vase placed on it. There used to be a television on that stand. She wondered when the television disappeared from the house.

"Ah..."

She remembered. It was a month after Elmyra severed ties with Carlo and the household. While Elmyra was cleaning the stand, the television fell over, and it broke. There was no television in the house after that. Aerith wondered if it was a coincidence or was it just to keep unnecessary information out of the house.

 Elmyra returned home late at night, and Aerith talked to Elmyra about Rodin and the others.

"Oh my, it's been a while, hasn't it? Are they alright?"

However, Aerith could tell on Elmyra's face that she was on guard.

"Hey, Mum. Do you know about the Sector 5 Clash? And about the Special District too?"

"What have you heard? We are living in a different world from those guys. It's better if you don’t worry about every little detail."

It seems that she would leave things in the dark again.

"The Special District is right here, isn't it? It's because I'm here. That's why Mum, you wouldn't let me go far away. That's the promise you made to Shinra. A promise to shut me in the Special District."

Elmyra shut her eyes and shook her head. 

"That's not it. But let's stop talking about this now. I'm tired, and whew, work was rough. The water tank in the café had broken down."

"Why don't you quit your job if it’s that tough? If you want money, why don't you get it from Shinra? You've been living on their money all your life. Nothing would change, wouldn’t it?"

Aerith knew she should not have said that, but she did. She could not see the look on Elmyra's face, and she then heard footsteps. Elmyra went up to the second floor and went into her own room.

Scene 31

"At that point, I thought that would be the end of my time in the house."

"But it had a happy ending, didn't it? I mean, you both went back on good terms."

Scene 32

Aerith thought that she could not stay in the house any longer and she was filled with emotions. Aerith firstly went back to her room, pulled out a suitcase she had never used from under the bed and stuffed a few sets of clothes, along with a few valuables, into it. Lastly, she put all the money she had earned from the Sector 5 House into her pocket and left the house. She walked down a familiar alleyway into a brightly lit street. A familiar face called out to her.

"Hey, Aerith. Are you going out at this hour?"

"I'm heading towards Sector 6."

She instinctively told a lie.

"Wait, what, no!"

"Don't worry. I'm not going to the Wall Market."

"Be careful, okay? Elmyra will cry if that happens."

As she walked along the street, she remembered her adventure with Ifalna.

『I wonder which direction is Sector 3 in?』

『Which direction is Sector 3 in?』

『I've heard that there's a church in the Sector 5 Slums. In the past, people gathered here and prayed to God, but nobody comes here anymore. I've been thinking that we should hide there a little...』

Aerith's steps became lighter. She still really liked this idea that Ifalna brought up in the middle of that adventure. The church should be far and beyond the station, outside the 'Special District'. It was the perfect place for Aerith's mood. The depressing feeling she had when she left home unbelievably cleared away. 

『Never forget that feeling, okay?』

『The feeling that you’ll enjoy anything.』

The memories of Ifalna came flooding back one by one.

Scene 33

"When you fight with a parent, adrenaline builds up in you, doesn't it?" Tifa uttered and seemed to be reminded of something.

"Yeah. That's why I couldn't stop and think about it."

"Yup. I understand."

"I've regrettably hurt people."

Tifa swallowed her breath after hearing Aerith's confession.

Scene 34

A train just pulled in at the platform of the station. That was probably the last train from the plate. Aerith glanced at it sideways and went ahead to try walking past it. This place was where she left her birth mother, and because of that, she still could not look at it directly. She felt as though the scene was still there. Suddenly, thoughts that she would be making a wrong move flashed through Aerith's mind. Was she about to make a grave mistake? The adrenaline she had felt earlier had unbelievably disappeared. The "Special District" was to protect her. Once she crosses the station, she would no longer have the protection. She stood rock still, as though there was an invisible wall ahead of her. Only the surrounding areas of the station were lit up. If she went forth, the road ahead would be dark. She could not see the future.

"Aerith?" a deep voice called out to her. 

She turned around to see a large man standing with his back to the station. He had big eyes, a big nose and a big mouth.

"Ahhh!"

"You've totally grown up, haven't you? You look like your mother."

It was Fuzz, and he was wearing the same white coat as that day.

"You've got the wrong person," Aerith lied at the spur of the moment.

Trying to get away from him, she turned her back towards the station and darted towards the darkness. She noticed that Fuzz was following her. She could not stop.

"Aerith, wait up. It's not what you're thinking."

Aerith wondered what other reasons could he try to stop her. She felt that she should not believe him and stop for him. He must have been angry and detest us. She wondered what would happen if he caught her. Aerith no longer knew where she was headed to. She was running along a narrow road, and the surroundings were a mountain of trash. By any chance...

"Jean! X!"

There was no response. Even if this were their scrapyard, they wouldn't be there at this hour. But she could not help calling out to them.

"Ahh!"

Aerith stumbled into something big and soft and fell. The suitcase she held dropped to the ground with a thud, signalling that it broke.

"Ouch..."

She did not know what was in the middle of the road at first, but it was the carcass of a dead monster. There was an unidentifiable sound coming out from it. It died not long ago. Its bodily fluids reached Aerith's feet and hands, and she felt a stinging sensation.

"You don't have to worry. That's harmless."

It was Fuzz. She looked up at him on her bottom. He was as big as she remembered him when she was seven. She noticed that the hem of her skirt was very crumpled, and she hurriedly fixed it. She looked for an opportunity to stand up and back away.

"Aerith, how could you do this to me? I've been worrying about you since then. Ever since you ran away from Shinra, I've been wondering if you've been living in terrible conditions. I heard about this from Amber, whom you met today."

"Amber!?"

Amber. Aerith met her in the evening, and she was introduced as Rodin's lover, and they were to be married. She had an angry face. Aerith then connected Amber to Fuzz. 

"Looks like you don't remember her. She was the friend who unloaded you both from the cargo train at the Sector 4 Slums Station."

"Ahh!"

So Amber was the grumpy-looking woman in the dirty work clothes that day. 

"I heard from her about where you were, and I hurriedly came over to find you. But what a close call. We almost didn't cross paths. I'm sure it was Ifalna who brought us together."

Aerith slowly stood up. Fuzz took two steps back, perhaps to assure her that he was not a threat. 

"Are you going to church, by any chance?"

"What?"

"I've talked to Ifalna about it before. She seemed to be very interested in it. When I told her I'd take her there someday, she said she definitely did not want to go. After you both disappeared, I went to look for both of you several times at the church, just in case you were both there. I prayed, but in the end, it seemed to me that there was no God."

A roar of a beast could be heard somewhere.

"That's from a monster. Here's the danger zone, especially at night. Shall we go to the church? Since we came all the way here anyway. It's not too far off from here, and it's nearer than the station."

It seemed that Aerith ran away further than she thought.

"But..."

"I see. Are you more afraid of me than the monster?"

She nodded honestly. He should already know how she was behaving towards him, and there was no point in pretending. 

"Well, I'll just walk ahead then, and you can keep a distance and follow me. If a monster comes up behind you, run away on your own. We can’t expect the vigilante corps to be here at this hour. And I must warn you, don't expect me to put up a good fight too. Just because I'm huge doesn't mean I'm strong."

With a thin smile, Fuzz walked away. His big white back disappeared into the darkness. Fuzz was right. She did not dare to go back alone on the monster-infested road. Just because they didn't appear on the way here doesn't mean they won't appear on the way back.

"Watch out!" Fuzz's voice came from a long way in front. "The monster is dead, but it's still fresh. Don't step on it."

↞↠

The "soon" was somewhat a lie, wasn't it? They had walked so far that she was doubtful of Fuzz, and after passing the carcass of the third monster, which was still fresh, they finally came to the front of the church.

"I wonder who brought them down?" Fuzz wondered as he walked up the stone steps and approached the door of the church. It was a big door. The style of the building was unlike anything Aerith had ever seen before. She could not see the entire structure even if she was looking up. She wondered what it would look like in daylight. The door opened with a squeak. Fuzz beckoned to her, and he went in. Aerith then went up the stone steps. A light, sweet scent wafted over from the church. It was a smell that Aerith knew. The inside was pitch black, but the floor at the back was slightly white.

"Look, the flowers bloom here. Regardless of whether there is a God or not, this is a special place," Fuzz said.

Aerith thought the same. Flowers bloom in special places. The same scent from the Gainsborough garden surrounded her, and she was soon faced with feelings of regret. She wondered what Elmyra was doing—wondering if she was looking for her daughter, who ran away from home. She wondered if she was going in the direction of Wall Market, taking the word of her acquaintance and believing him blindly.

"You can sleep on the bench near the flowers. I'll be near the exit.

"Thank you."

Aerith was not sleepy at all, but she did as he suggested and sat down on a bench near the flowers. She let out a big, quiet breath and felt every stiffness in the muscles of her body relax. She must have been tenser than she had realised. She felt like she was about to really fall asleep. She had to think of something. She wondered what would have happened if she had come to this church that day with her mother, Ifalna. What if the adventure had continued until the end? What would she have worked as? With little knowledge about the world, what would she have done? Would they have been able to live together on good terms? No matter how close they were, would they have disagreements? Since they were a real parent and child, would no problems arise?

"Aerith."

A voice came from a distance.

"Yes?”

"The house at Sector 3, it's still there. I've continued paying the rent since then."

"I see."

"Would you like to live together?"

She wondered what he just said to her. What did he mean?

"You'd like me to live together with you?"

There was no response.

"Fuzz?"

As she stood up fearfully, she saw that Fuzz was right next to her.

"Yeah. Let's live together, ‘I..fal...na…’"

Fuzz smiled. The pupil in his eyes seemed like it was not looking anywhere. A big hand reached out slowly towards her.

"Come here."

He was going to grab her! Aerith tried to take the suitcase and run. However, he caught her by the arm. 

"Let go of me!"

She slammed the suitcase into Fuzz's face as hard as she could. Fuzz flinched. The handle broke, the suitcase came off and flew off somewhere.

"You're heartless, Aerith."

She did not care and ran away. Weaving her way between the benches, she ran for the door. Fuzz jumped over the benches and gave chase. 

"Wait!"

There was no way she was waiting. The door was already nearby. She had to exit and run away. And what should she do after escaping? Fuzz knows where she stays. Amber, without a doubt, told him about Elmyra's house. Even if she ran away now, Fuzz would show up eventually. What should she do? Would she always have to live in fear? As long as Fuzz was around...

And Aerith eventually darted out of the door.

"Eh?"

Elmyra was there in front of her, dressed in her usual clothes as though nothing was wrong. Her face changed from surprised to relieved, and her facial expression changed a few more times. Finally, she turned serious.

"Aerith, move aside."

"Huh?" Fuzz sluggishly came out of the building, "Who’s out there?"

Elmyra hammered his throat with her weapon with all of her might. Fuzz let out a shriek of pain, collapsed and laid down motionlessly. Aerith was shocked to see what weapon Elmyra was using. It was a broom, and it seems that she had brought it here.

"Shall we go home?"

"Okay."

"You didn't leave anything behind?"

"Ah..."

She forgot her suitcase. There was something important inside of it.

"Quickly go get it."

"Okay."

She went back into the darkness of the church and went over to the flowers. She looked around and immediately saw a suitcase. The lid was open, and its contents were scattered outside. She gathered up the scattered clothes and put them back in the case, but she could not find her "treasure"—the pouch containing the materia.

"What are you doing?" Elmyra called out to Aerith, her voice audibly contained irritation.

"I can't find that materia."

Elmyra mumbled in annoyance and crouched down to join Aerith in finding it.

"It's in a little pouch made out of cloth."

"I know."

It's true. Elmyra knows everything about her.

"But, how did you know I was here?" Aerith asked while searching for the pouch.

"That's what I'd like to know too."

"Eh?"

"I knew that you ran away, and I soon went out of the house too. I thought about where you'd have gone as I ran. And then, while I was in the garden, I knew that you would have gone to the church on the outskirts of the slums."

"Why?"

"It just somehow came to my mind. Ever since you came to the house, I've had several strange experiences. I thought that it was this sort of experience again. So I went back home again and did some preparations before coming over."

"And what you prepared was a broom?"

"I wasn't exactly calm, you know. But it was useful, wasn't it? Look, Aerith, over there."

Elmyra pointed towards the densely grown flowers. In the middle laid the pouch that they were searching for. She parted the flowers away to not step on them, picked up the pouch and looked inside. The materia seemed to be glowing brighter than usual. 

Aerith turned around to look at Elmyra and was about to ask her shall they go back.

Elmyra was seated on the bench, and she was praying. She had her hands clasped at her chest, and her eyes were closed. The sight of her took Aerith's breath away. 

"I used to give thanks like this when I was a child," Elmyra said, opening her eyes as she stood up. 

She seemed embarrassed by it.

"Is it different from a prayer?"

"It's different today."

"Who did you thank?”

"Whoever told me about this place. Well, let's head out of here."

Elmyra started to walk, and Aerith followed her behind.

"Mum."

"Yes?"

"I'm hungry."

"Aerith, you’ve been talking to me normally since just now, but I'm angry with you. When I get home, you will face the music and hear everything I want to say."

"Okay～"

Both of them were completely distracted.

Fuzz had regained consciousness and was hiding behind the door. Firstly, he kicked Elmyra and sent her flying. 

"Mum!"

Fuzz tried to rush over to Elmyra and was drawing near her. She dodged his grasp, picked up the broom that she had dropped, turned around and struck the big man. However, the handle snapped right in half.

"Aerith! Come over here!" Elmyra called out to her.

Aerith ran towards her in panic. She saw Elmyra holding a gun with both hands and pointing it at Fuzz. That was the gun that Carlo had left behind. Fuzz stopped in his tracks and stared at the muzzle of the weapon.

"You take one more step, and I'll shoot you."

"Why don't you understand me!?" Fuzz yelled as he came towards them.

A shot rang. Elmyra had fired the gun. The dry sounds of gunshots echoed in the air. How many shots did she fire? Finally, they only heard the metallic click of the trigger. 

"Ifalna..."

Fuzz approached them as if nothing had happened. His lab coat was terribly stained, but there was no sign that a bullet had hit him.

"I can't believe this gun didn’t do shit!" Elmyra swore and threw her gun at Fuzz, but it flew well over the big man's head.

"Mum, let's run already..."

A bang was heard, and it was a sharp sound that cut through the air. Aerith did not know what it was until she looked at Fuzz. He was holding his left shoulder with his right hand and moaning. His blood was running on his white coat as he had been shot in the shoulder. Who had shot him? From where? Aerith looked around, but there was no shooter in sight.

"Let's go," Elmyra uttered in an awfully calm manner.

Fuzz collapsed and was writhing in pain. Aerith was not fearful anymore. He just looked so pathetic now.

"I'm sorry."

"Aerith, let's hurry."

Without delay, Elmyra started walking, holding the broken broom with both her hands. At last, Aerith apologised to Fuzz once more. She then proceeded to hug her handleless suitcase and chased after Elmyra.

"Hey, Mum. I wonder who shot him."

"I'm guessing this, but the 'Special District' probably expanded."

Ah. That makes sense. As they walked on, Aerith looked around her surroundings, searching for a black suit. Just for tonight, she felt that she could give them her thanks.

Scene 35

"What happened to Fuzz after that?" Tifa asked with a concerned look on her face.

"I never saw him again. Though, till now, I still get nervous when I see someone big."

"I see."

Whenever Aerith thought about Fuzz, she would still have mixed feelings about him. She did not want to see him again. However, she also carried guilt. Fuzz became like that because of what Ifalna and her did to him. If she never pondered about this, these feelings of guilt would continue for a long time. She wondered if she would ever get the chance to atone.

"You can talk to me about everything, okay?" Tifa assured her.

Aerith was delighted by her compassion. She wanted to tell her more.

"Well then, next up is a big one!"

"You gotta be kidding me. There's something bigger than whatever you said?"

"For that, you're right. It's about my first love."

"Oh, that's definitely something big!"

―It sounded like someone walked into the cargo hold. Tifa seemed to notice it too. They put their index finger to their lips and looked at each other. The sound of footsteps was coming closer, coming from the other side of the cargo wall. Tifa moved noiselessly to the gap in the cargo. It looked like she was waiting for the owner of those footsteps.

The time passed slowly but surely, and the footsteps came to a stop.

"It's me."

It was the voice of Cloud Strife. Tifa's expression softened.

"I'll tell you next time. About the story of my first love," Aerith whispered to her.

Cloud walked in front of them and looked at both of them with a dubious look. He made a face as though he was investigating them, and he looked ridiculous. Aerith and Tifa burst into laughter, trying to keep their silence.

-fin- ↞↠ You’re on page 142/142 of Aerith’s segment of the Light Novel Word Count: 29322 The End. Thanks for the reading!  Translator’s Note Previous Scenes: Scenes 22-27 Back to Content Page (click/tap here) Final Fantasy VII Remake: Traces of Two Pasts Episode 1 — Tifa (Coming Soon) Episode 2 ― Aerith Coda: The Investigation Unit Within the Painting follow @istanleyff7​ on twitter for updates support the TOTP translation project financially here (click/tap here)