Found this hilarious place listed while searching for an anniversary getaway. Let me show you.
Here's the listing, for those who want to see
First things first, the photos. It's always where I go first when viewing a listing.
There are 38 photos. Number one - front and center - is a post of a DIY grill. A wire rack that looks like a chopped-up shopping cart on cinderblocks over a fire. It's tagged "another photo of our sleeping quarters". As with many of these photo descriptions, it seems badly translated from some other language. A weird mix of formal language and slang. Bad grammar. Bad punctuation. Bad spelling.
Following are photos of the photos displayed on the walls, then one of the host. Then another photo of the fire, and then a photo which is 25% thumb. This thumb photo seems to have nothing to do with the property at all, and is just a photo of something he did with his family.
Also worth noting is he calls the earth oven "hangi". Hangi is what the food you cook in it is called. The earth oven itself is called an "umu".
More old family photos follow, then a photo of the view. Note that we are now nine photos in and only two have been of the property (three if the one of the host was taken in the property. I honestly can't tell). Both of these were of the open fire in the sleeping area, without showing anything else of the sleeping area.
Next we get two photos of his marae! Lovely to see, but not useful at all. A marae is a traditional Maori village, which now tends to be a community center and cultural meeting place.
Next, a photo of one of the beds! It's very close-up and shows no surroundings, but now we know there's a bed. Then there's another sunset photo.
Another close-up photo of a different bed, then THE most bogan outdoor laundry area I have ever seen.
A photo of the bottom of a different bed, showing the shelf you get to look at, with an early-nineties TV perched on it. Then a terrible photo of part of the table, part of the chest freezer, and a doorway into another room. Probably a bedroom, but I really can't tell.
A photo of the bath/shower, another photo of that terrible shelf, and a repeat of an earlier sunset photo. Then another sunset photo showing how close some tank is to the property.
After this we get a photo of his laundry in the wind, then another family photo, then finally, photo #24 of #38, a photo of the outside of the property. It's a corrugated iron shack right beside his house. It just looks like a shed.
Then a photo of some tilled earth, a photo of his workstation, the beach, some fields, two outdoors shots of the house, and a photo through his windscreen of a rainy road. A wide shot of the marae again, another field, and the reverse of the previous photo still showing the table and chest freezer. I'll be honest, this photo is actually useful. It shows the layout of the teeny-tiny kitchen/dining area.
Another family photo, a photo of (presumably) a cluttered living area with a huge TV,a local monument, and what looks like part of the local golf course.
So, that's 38 photos, of which perhaps 5 would be useful. On to the description!
I'll note here that he's listed the place as having a hot tub. I saw no hot tub in any of the photos. It's not mentioned in the photos. He definitely doesn't have a hot tub.
Here's the description. I'm going to comment in italics.
Paradise Whakatekateka is near the mouth of the Waiapu river and the Sea.The House was built in 1950-53.Used to be a 3 bedroom,but 2 rooms were turned into a Sitting room/dining room.Has 1 doublebed,kitchen Bathroom,Heeps of Parking area,Sea views,Maori Culture,Big Sleeping Quarters with open fire and Maori entertainment,Maori Earthoven(Hangi)to cook food,Great forFishing,Historical Places,Historical Mount Hikurangi with history,No inside toilet but a long drop.Sea views.Own par 5 golf course.
Cool, little history about the place, description of the indoor areas and parking, the view, nice to know there's some Maori culture in the area. Why is he talking about sleeping quarters when he's already talked about the bedrooms? A hangi takes literally all day to do, so if you're going to do that you already know you want to and you've looked up where you're going to. It's not going to be a selling point for accomodation. There's no toilet. He said sea views twice.*
The space
Awesome view when the sun rises from the sea,and when it sets.Has its own history with great stories.Seven Soldiers who fought for King and Country were from Whakatekateka.Whakatekateka's name come from the famed sweet kumara.You could see clearly the 5 carved features on Mount Hikurangi when on a clear morning.It was here,near the Waiapu river ''Te Hatepe that the gospel was first introduced.
More history about the area. Which is cool, but I don't think he understands what "The Space" is meant to mean.
Guest access
Maori Culture and Language.Sightseeing historical places.fishing.
Again, I really don't think he knows what "Guest access" is meant to mean.
Other things to note
learn to sing Maori,and say Maori words.Tiki tour around our local places of interests.
RSA to socialise,visit lighthouse.Climb Mount Hikurangi.Excursion to our Marae and its history.Our Maori History.Many great stories of our local rugby club''Waiapu''
This section was worrying to me, even more than what I'd already seen. It seems he's going to try to teach me Maori songs and Maori words. It's great that he's proud of Maori culture and excited to share it... but he's trying to sell accomodation. Same goes for his idea of a tiki tour (essentially a rough-and-ready ramble in a 4x4 kind of tour). I don't want to visit the marae or the RSA. I don't want to hear about your rugby club.
He has four reviews. One says he cancelled on them. One talks very glowingly about the area, hitting all the same high points as the hose. One is also glowing, from his cousin. One is in German. I translated it. It was hilarious, but to live through it...
"It is an old house. Tamati makes his bedroom available to guests and sleeps outside in a shed or in the living room. The bedroom has no doorknob and cannot be closed. The toilet is a toilet outside the house, which cannot be closed. The door from the toilet is closed until it locks. Then you know that the toilet is occupied. Tamati is very friendly, would like to know everything about you, would like to get in touch. Everything was a bit strange to me, I felt uncomfortable with the fact that I don't really have any privacy anywhere, so after one night I went to another place. The price is too high for the location and the offer."
For reference: here's another airbnb at the same price in a similar part of New Zealand.
Original post here =+-+= Get $20 off your first AirBnB stay.
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Image from page 26 of "Northern Pacific Yellowstone Park Line : St. Paul, Minneapolis, Duluth to Helena, Butte, Spokane, Tacoma, Seattle and Portland" (1904)
Identifier: northernpacificy566nort
Title: Northern Pacific Yellowstone Park Line : St. Paul, Minneapolis, Duluth to Helena, Butte, Spokane, Tacoma, Seattle and Portland
Year: 1904 (1900s)
Authors: Northern Pacific Railway Company
Subjects: Northern Pacific Railway Company Railroads RailroadsRailroad travel Railroad travel
Publisher: St. Paul, Minn. : Northern Pacific Railway Co.
Contributing Library: Harold B. Lee Library
Digitizing Sponsor: Brigham Young University
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year is:Portland, June and July, 90 degrees. Tacoma. June and July, 85 degrees. Seattle, June, 86^egrees. while the total number of days of fog for the year ranges from fifteen to thirty-^ve. These figures are fromthe United States Weather Bureau records for the year 1000, and there is slight variation from year to year. This showing is typical of the COLUMBIA RIVER VALLEY AND the PUGET SOUND REGION The great forests of this section and the sea breezes exert a potent influence on climate and health, and one canfind a multitude of ways in which to pass the time and endless excursions to take to the sea coast and mountains, forfishing and pleasure. Hotels and restaurants are many and good, and one can live remarkably cheap. Camping out isa luxury, and the scenery found here is the finest in the United States. I will be glad to respond promptly to all inauiries for additional information, A. M, CLI:LAND, General Passenger Agent, ST. PAUL, MINN. 49 50 W Yellowstone National Park Route M f
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North Coasl Limited, Rear View. THE. « NORTH COAST LIMITED Runs Every Day in the Year And leaves St. Paul at 10.15, Minneapolis at 10.45 a. m., after arrivalof trains from Chicago. St. Louis, Omaha, Kansas City, etc. The entire train of eight cars is hroatl vestlbuled, electriclighted—nearly 300 electric lights in it, including two in each sectionin the Standard Pullman Sleeping Car—steam heated, carries its ownthrough Dining Car,.a Tourist and a Standard Pullman Sleeping Car,and an Observation Car, besides the usual equipment of baggage andexpress, combuiation Coach and Smoking Car. and a large first-classDay Coach. The Tourist Sleeping CJar and the Observation Car are the partic-ular featuies of the train. The former has sixteen sections and isbeyond doubt the finest car of its kind \x\ use. The lavatory andtoilet rooms for both men and women are unusually large and verycomplete in their arrangements. The Observation Car on the North Coast Limited has charmedeverybody. With its
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