#ford free fire
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I prefer the Psychic Peepaw War-Crimes Ford, because I like bacon like him! 🥓
have you done your daily click
#poll#poll game#ford prefect#ford cruller#ford pines#forde fire emblem#ford dark Deity#ford free fire#hitchhikers guide to the galaxy#hgttg#psychonauts#gravity falls#fire emblem#dark deity#free fire#reblog
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Absolutely free, so everyone can see.
Shia LaBeouf as Clodio Pulcher in MEGALOPOLIS (2024) dir. Francis Ford Coppola
#megalopolis#shia labeouf#mine#francis ford coppola#the og claude hamilton had more fun things going on#like the Haiti slum & witch mama#and the killing of Nush#but I respect Francis' choice#I understand that he already used The Wild One homage in Twixt#and the way Clodio now is more 'Roman'#it's still a pity that Francis threw away the whole Haitian storyline#I mean I think the vidictia book and a snake (and curse ritual being performed) would be a perfect match#anyway shia did a good job#you can feel that he's free#there are times he's clueless#but they end up being very instinctive#the 'pick up my hat' scene is a perfect example#he's on FIRE
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I will test out a silly art style by conjuring up one of the blorbos
he looks like a frog /pos
#cap art!#fe8#forde fire emblem#why does he look like a frog#I'm not complaining but how did this happen#also the third image expression just gets me#I love drawing cartoony expressions like that it's so freeing
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(BOOK OF BILL SPOILERS)
I just finished reading The Book of Bill and I am kindof losing my mind over some of this stuff.
I had wondered if Alex Hirsch might make Bill sympathetic in some way and oh boy I was not expecting him to do it so successfully (and without cheapening Bill's character).
So, we learn that Bill was born into a 2D world... as a mutant who can see into the third dimension. He claims he was absolutely loved by all, but when talking about his powers, he mentions under Pyrokinesis:
"Cipher, Cipher, he's insane / Starting fires with his brain." The kids in grade school could be so cruel. But where are they now, huh? WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
So probably not quite as liked as he was letting on. To add to that, there's the silly straw page, which looks like silly nonsense until you decipher some of the codes:
"EYE DOCTOR OF A DIFFERENT KIND / WHO WANTS TO MAKE HIS PATIENTS BLIND" "THE DOCTOR SAYS / THREE SIPS A DAY / WILL MAKE THE VISIONS / GO AWAY"
I wasn't sure what this meant until I saw someone point out... he was seeing a third dimension that no one else could see. His parents probably took him to the eye doctor to try to "fix" him. Which, speaking of his eye doctor, the coded message in the section about human eyeballs says something interesting:
"MY OPTOMETRIST NEVER SAW IT COMING"
It could be a joke given beforehand he's talking about dissecting a human eye, but given the previous hints of medical abuse, I wouldn't put it past him that he tried to get revenge on his eye doctor.
Oh yeah and the whole thing about him setting his entire dimension on fire? Yeah it turns out it was entirely a mistake (he just wanted everyone to understand the third dimension he was seeing so they could be free of only two dimensions), he was so traumatized by it he blacks out when trying to recall it. He deeply, deeply regrets it, and...
"What? Your ENTIRE home dimension? destroyed? How? By what?" Bill looked distant, more distant than I'd ever seen him. "By a monster."
He sees himself as a monster.
And yet, he's not some innocent, misunderstood being. He still revels in causing pain and chaos. He's terrible in general, but becomes incredibly abusive toward Ford.
"YOU'RE MY PROPERTY. DON'T FORGET IT. The hillbilly abandoned you, your father won't want you returning without millions, you have no friends, and if you died out here in the snow, who would even miss you?"
Which... speaking of him and Ford...
Yes, yes, I know people ship them. But like, whether you see their relationship as romantic or platonic (I see it as the latter), there's some interesting parallels to be made here.
Both Bill and Ford are mutants who were mocked for their being different. (Bill was not physically a mutant, as far as we know, but more in the sense of him having vision stronger than that of everyone else in his dimension, and also having special powers. And he does describe himself as a mutant.) Both became social outcasts, separated from their families but still haunted by them (Ford seeing commercials of Stan on TV and running across old photos of him and his brother, Bill being haunted by his family in some form). Neither could return home for one reason or another. Both more powerful than their peers (Ford intellectually, Bill in terms of actual powers). Both of them isolated and alone. (Yes, Bill does have the Henchmaniacs, but they seem like shallow friends, and only really seem to follow him out of a desire to have a place to party.)
Ford was not aware of most of this, aside from knowing that Bill could not go home because his dimension was destroyed. But Bill absolutely saw himself in Ford. There was no other person he tried to use whom he felt a stronger connection to.
And he actually seems to care about Ford--he actually gave him a birthday present, and when Ford didn't like it, he decided to get drunk and party with him instead to make up for it.
And then when Ford realizes what Bill's plan actually is and refuses to go along with it, and fights back no matter what Bill does, Bill completely breaks down.
After living for trillions of years, he met someone who was like him, and that person rejected him.
He goes berserk, wreaking havoc, being caught by the dimensional authority that he's been taunting for most of his life.
And then after dying and being cast out of hell for being too annoying, he winds up faced with the Axolotl, who sends him to therapy, where he continues to break down further, sending out the book in a desperate attempt to find someone, anyone who will help him break loose and wreak havoc once again.
"You have no friends, and if you died ... who would even miss you?"
I don't know, Bill. Who would even miss you?
In short,
[ID: The front and back of one of Bill's Valentines cards. On the front is a black void with Bill Cipher lying down without his hat, gazing blankly upwards, with the text "I DON'T WANT TO DIE ALONE" above him. On the back is a simple white "TO/FROM" in red, with a red outline illustration of Bill spontaneously growing a mouth and eating a realistic, bloody heart. /end ID]
#bill cipher#stanford pines#gravity falls#gravity falls spoilers#the book of bill#the book of bill spoilers#oh gosh I haven't thought this hard about gravity falls in so long
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I'd like to propose a dark horse candidate for the most interesting line in The Book of Bill. And it's this near-unreadable, seemingly one-off joke from the "Skin" page:
[ID: tiny text reading: "Help! This is not Bill Cipher. My name is Grebley Hemberdreck of Zimtrex 5. I'm one of thousands of beings Bill has devoured over trillions of years whose souls are now trapped inside him. You have to free me! It's horrible in here. He just keeps playing the song "Good Vibrations" by Marky Mark on an endless loop. Please, please, this is not a joke! The Zimtrexians were once a proud and mighty people, but now our spirits long for release from this..." End ID.]
Okay, so Bill devours souls who then live out a horrible existence inside him. That's just some typical and expected Bill behavior, right? Nothing to be shocked by? Maybe not, but one thing jumps out at me... and of all things, it's the way that Bill keeps playing that Beach Boys parody (correction provided by @fexalted: no, not in fact a Smiley Smile parody, but a real song!) on loop.
Because in The Book of Bill, there's a recurring motif of characters playing music for a very specific reason: to repel an unwanted presence inside their head. This is what Elias Inkwell, and later Ford, did with the "It's A Small World" parody — they tried to keep Bill out of their brains. Or, metaphorically... to drown out his voice.
[ID: a Journal 3 page with a cassette taped inside. It's titled: "The World Is Small Ever After for Always." Ford writes: "If it's war you want, it's war you'll get! If you want to torture me? I'll torture you back!" End ID.]
That doesn't necessarily mean that Bill finds the voices of devoured souls to be troubling, let alone downright haunting, does it? Well... not quite on its own. But there's a "color" code on the page about TV static that says a lot:
[ID: a code consisting of colorful squares, translated to letters that spell out: "he never sleeps he never dreams but somehow still he hears their screams." End ID] (screenshot courtesy of @fexiled)
The context of the page implies these "screams" come to Bill especially when he listens to TV static, and the broader context of the book implies that these are the screams of his destroyed home dimension, Euclydia. Therefore, not necessarily those of the souls he devoured, from Zimtrex 5 and possibly other dimensions.
Except... do those two things really have to be mutually exclusive?
The beings that Bill devoured were accumulated over "trillions" of years, plural, according to Grebley. In Weirdmageddon 1, Bill claims to have resided in the Nightmare Realm for precisely "one trillion" years. So the "devouring" habit probably extends back even further than his time in the Nightmare Realm...
Enter @acetyzias, pointing out a very conspicuous word — and one of the only uncensored words — from Bill's description of destroying his home dimension:
[ID: the word "mandibles". End ID.]
Oh, and how does Bill describe the "monster" that destroyed his home to Ford, when Ford asks about revenge?
[ID: Journal excerpt reading: "Sixer, it would eat you alive." End ID.]
For a long time, Bill's destruction of his home has been associated with fire, even when the story's told by Bill himself. But through the way the book characterizes Bill's guilt — and characterizes how the consequences of what he's done remain lurking deep inside him — I think The Book of Bill lays out the hints for another motif: devouring.
And, well, when it comes to how Bill destroys things... it wouldn't be without precedent.
[ID: screenshot of Bill in Weirdmageddon 3, taking a bite out of the Earth. End ID.]
#gravity falls#the book of bill#bill cipher#gravity falls theory#gravity falls meta#gf spoilers#the book of bill spoilers#gravity falls spoilers#tbob spoilers#book of bill#long post#mandibles theory
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I can't stop thinking about how Stan Pines, a man who was kicked out of his home at a young age by his abusive father, turned his own home into such a safe space for not just the twins, but his employees and the kids friends as well.
First of all, we know Wendy frequently slacks off on her shifts, she has her roof top hideaway but she also reads magazines and flat out refuses to do certain tasks. Like when Stan asked her to put up a sign and she just said she couldn't reach it, or telling Stan "absolutely not" when he asked her and Soos to clean the bathrooms. Not only could Stan fire her, he could take away her magazines or stop her from going on the roof. We see that Stan is more observant than he lets on, you're telling me he didn't notice her dragging a cooler and a lawn chair up there? And she's either bringing her own pop and ice to fill that cooler or she's taking his.
And then there's Soos, who Stan cares about so much he got himself on the no-fly list trying to get his birthday removed from calendars, just because it made him upset. We know Soos cares about the Mystery Shack, he feels comfortable there, and he respects and adores Stan. Soos also volunteered to DJ for free at Stans summer party.
We also frequently see Soos and Wendy hanging out with the twins, so either they're slacking off during working hours or they're coming over after their shifts just to hang out. In an after credits scene, we see Mabel and Dipper turn Soos into a disco ball and they're clearly in the residential part of the shack. So either Soos buggered off during working hours to hang out with the twins or he's off shift just chilling. Either way, Stan is fine with him being in the actual house part of the shack.
Wendy also helps Mabel try and make Stan more 'desirable' to Lazy Susan, which I'll get into later, but she's not working and she also in the house part of the shack. We also see Soos and Wendy watching television with Stan, Mabel, and Dipper during the Summerween episode. They aren't on shift! They're just chilling. Wendy hits Stan in the face with a water balloon while working as a lifeguard. She's comfortable teasing him.
Soos tags along with Stan, Dipper, and Mabel when they break into the golf course after hours. He brings his shirts to cut Ws into. He doesn't have to be there, he just is. Wendy goes hunting with Mabel and her friends for unicorns. Mabel wins a pig at the fair and Stan lets her keep it, the pig needs food, who do you think is footing that bill?
Now let's talk about friends. Mabel often has Candy and Grenda over, we know she has loud sleepover with them. Do you think Mabel would bring her friends over if she wasn't comfortable in the house? Do you think Candy and Grenda would keep coming over if they didn't feel safe? Not to mention, they literally ambush Stan in the bathroom and give him a make over. Which he allows, we see him fight off the undead, punch bald eagles, and catch the twins when they fell from the nose of that monument. The man is strong, he could get three preteen girls off him if he wanted to, he was 100% playing along.
Candy and Grenda also invite themselves along on their road trip. And Stan lets them come!! Mr cheap stake agrees to feed and care for two extra kids who aren't his family.
Dipper sneaks around trying to see his tattoo, he feels safe enough with Stan to push those boundaries. He literally pulled the Memory Gun on Ford during the basement scene, if he wasn't comfortable with Stan, he wouldn't try to get that close to him. He calls Stan when he and Mabel are trapped in a haunted convenience store (he doesn't answer but still, he called him).
Now let's talk about Gideon, because I will stand by the Stan had some fondness for the kid. We know Stan has been annoyed with Gideon for a while, we know Gideon has been gunning for Stan for a while. And Stan just... Keeps letting this happen. He never involves the police, he plays along with Gideons attempts, even when Gideon is laughing uncontrollably, Stan just assured him that "you'll get me one day kid". Even when Gideon climbs in THROUGH THE WINDOW all Stan does is aggressively sweep at his feet. Correct me if I'm wrong, but Stan never gets rough with Gideon.
I'm just, I'm weeping over the knowledge that Stan Pines, who wasn't safe in his own home, made his home a safe place for kids as an adult.
#gravity falls#stan pines#stanford pines#gravity falls soos#gravity falls stan#gravity falls wendy#gravity falls Dipper#Gravity Falls Mabel#Gravity Falls Waddles#Gravity Falls Candy#gravity falls grenda#Grunkle Stan#Gideon gleeful#Dipper Pines#Mabel Pines#soos ramirez#gf soos
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Spoilers for Book of Bill
Thoughts on Bill talking about Ford
I was not prepared for canon Billford in the year 2024 and yet here we are.
But seriously, I'm kinda surprised how much Bill actually liked and valued Ford? Obviously it's in a horrible, toxic, never come within the same continent as them kind of way but it's just, I always kind of figured their relationship (while obviously adoring from Ford's end due to Journal 3) was mainly just Bill humoring Ford long enough until he no longer needs him. Like, 'yeah, sure, of course you're special, I definitely believe in you' sort of nonsense.
But in Bill's book it's implied multiple times he had as close to a crush on Ford as he's probably capable of. I mean, the whole 'love cage' section is literally verbatim what he did to Ford (and just wait until they're mentally broken enough to confess their true feelings! Fear and love are basically the same thing!) And in the valentine's section he talks about leaving mice, which again, he did for Ford's birthday, and then when he wasn't happy about that, got him drunk enough to have a good time (implied kinda forcibly? since Ford declined beforehand). Then there's the fact he literally calls Fiddleford a third wheel (also coincidentally after we just learn Fiddleford spent hours on handmade gifts for Ford and forgot to get his wife anything).
And when Ford finally does catch on and things go bad? Bill tries first to talk with Ford through the zombies (to manipulate him, of course, but also Admit it, you'd miss me. I have missed you, and Bill actually smiles.) And then leaves little sticky notes asking nicely to talk. When he finally gets mad enough to escalate, he still does so in a very not-violent-for-Bill-way. Sure, killing Ford wouldn't help him but we know how messed up Bill can get. And yet what does he do? He leaves Ford's body to almost freeze, only to have a warm fire and a love song playing when he wakes up. He causes mild public disturbances and gives him an obnoxious tattoo. When he finally, finally snaps is when we start to see more of the Bill we got in the show when he tortures Ford a bit. But even that is mild?
Like, Bill rearranged a man's face for fun and takes joy in destroying the Nightmare Realm. But after threating Ford he leaves him unharmed. Very mentally scarred, yes, but safe and intact. He even gives him three days to get his life together. And then treats it like a messy breakup when Ford finally breaks free. Hell, it seems like he was more upset about losing Ford than losing the portal.
All this is to say that I think from Bill's point of view he was being genuinely kind to Ford. He gave him gifts, complimented him, and tried to work things out peacefully when Ford started pulling away (again, his very messed up version of peaceful, but the point still stands).
So when they do finally meet again? Bill still offers Ford a spot next to him. Again, I originally thought this was more playing into Ford's ego while taking a cheap shot at him (i.e. you'll fit in great with the freaks!), but by now it's obvious he wants Ford. He's petty and cruel and horribly abusive about it, but in his own twisted way he likes Ford. A lot. Enough to show mercy (or at least not be as violent as he could be) and to try and give him multiple chances to come back, no apology needed!
And the worst part is Bill knows this. Bill's trying to make this relationship work. He feels connected to Ford in a way he quite possibly hasn't felt with anyone else. And he knows its doomed to fail. In his mind he has to destroy everything he touches and everything he cares about. Any other connections he has are either superficial or dead to him (usually literally). This relationship will end the same way, it's just in Bill's nature. To him, that's all his relationships are capable of being.
All this just makes me sad and adds so much depth and I'm obsessed. There's just something about self-destructive and truly cruel characters having moments where they wish they weren't that way. Where they'll come the closest they ever can to apologizing for how they are.
(Also Bill literally wanted Ford to get a tattoo saying 'If lost return to Bill' like we cannot just ignore that oh my god)
#gravity falls#book of bill#book of bill spoilers#billford#like yeah it's a horribly toxic relationship that should not exist but I think Bill was actually trying the best he could#and that just hurts :(
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Since we’re here now’s a great time to recommend one of my fav Symbrock fics ever:
Free From Fire by Jedtree on AO3
Summary: Eddie chooses to pursue a story that puts them in life-threatening danger. To save Venom from his own inevitable demise, he finds a way to force the symbiote into a new host. Someone better, more fitting, more worthy. Venom is pissed.
Update!! Now adding recs I’ve received (all ao3)!!
@mintaikk Rec:
that blessed arrangement by pepperfield
Summary: That’s us, Eddie, Venom says suddenly, with a bizarre amount of intensity. We’re like these two fools. Eddie squints at the screen for a second before he understands. “What, married?”
@apri1misc Recs:
you’re my cherry pie by novembersmith
Summary: The first time Eddie suggests they have sex, Venom is, more than anything else, extremely confused.
Who You Really Are by MortemRequiem
Summary: Venom thought that Eddie was an Alpha when he took over his body -- he was very, very wrong. -- In which the author is a broke bitch, but she can write fics for Birthday Presents <3 Basically a movie rewrite in the ABO universe.
How to take care of your Human by Darke_Eco_Freak
Summary: An ongoing study by the Venom Symbiote, consisting of helping your human be less of a pussy, reminding him to eat and sleep, helping him socialise, and making a Hero.
it’s called love by yellow_crayon
Summary: Eddie Brock is strong, yes, he’s willing to admit that. But aesthetically speaking, Brock is no where near the quality of Riot’s host. It’s like comparing an old Ford pickup to a million-dollar Maserati. (Riot catches feelings. Things take a weird turn when he forces Eddie and Venom to help.)
About Free From Fire:
DEF ONE OF MY TOP SYMBROCK FICS EVER THE PROTECTIVE POSSESSIVE AND OBSESSIVE STALKER VENOM IS SO SO SO GOOD!!! And Eddie is a self sacrificing fool who DOES NOT do well without him but is definitely trying his damnest to protect Venom back. They deserve each other <3
Please share recs, y’all!! I’d love to know what some people’s faves are!! (*^▽^*)🖤
#Me taking a chance in the sea of tears to share one of the best Veddie fics I’ve ever read?? Yes. Of course. Absolutely.#PLEASE!!! Do yourself a favor and check it out!!#Venom#Eddie Brock#Symbrock#Veddie#Venom Fic Rec#Fic Rec#Venom 2018#Venom Let There Be Carnage#Venom The Last Dance#Ani Rambles#ಇ(˵ಥ_ಥ˵)ಇ
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OL EUA YUGQ G XGOYOT OT MXGVK PAOIK, OZ ZAXTY OTZU G MXGVK. NGVVE NGRRUCKKT! 🎃⚠️
(costume talk and yapping under the cut)
starting from back to the front:
stan and ford are handing out candy this year, stan dressed in his vampire costume and planning to scare kids and ford is wearing a mabel (turtleneck!) pumpkin sweater, about as festive as he's willing to dress up this year. ford was originally planning to hole himself up in his lab and work on data analysis or whatever nerd shit he has going on but stan invites him to help scare the hell out of kids. ford declines initially, better things to do, but after checking to see how stan's doing (badly), ford decides to help by bursting out of the bushes with a glowing laser gun, face cloaked in shadow. it's more fun than he expects or admits and he eventually fully joins stan.
soos and melody are trick or treating in a couple costume, soos as zelda and melody as link. melody wanted to cosplay link for awhile and you cannot convince me soos wouldn't jump at the chance to dress up as a badass anime elf princess who can fire lasers.
mabel, pacifica, and waddles are dressed as utena, anthy, and chu chu respectively. i have a headcanon that post working at the diner and slowly getting used to normal kid things, pacifica discovers anime. specifically shojo princess anime. she finds utena and loses her mind over it in private, with mabel eventually breaking down her walls and getting her to admit to the sin of liking anime. mabel gets pacifica to show her her favorites and mabel immediately insists they need to cosplay as utena and anthy for halloween, pacifica is a princess after all! (said in jest, but baby gay panic ensues on pacifica's end. mabel is pretty oblivious to her plight and doesn't realize why being pacifica's knight makes her feel so giddy until later on.)
dipper sees pacifica joining mabel as an excuse to flake out on trick or treating without being a total jerk, especially since they'll be joined by candy and grenda later. i know he's working on not trying to grow up too fast by the end of the series, but kids and teens are full of anxiety and doubts and i figure he would be pretty awkward about a lot of things still, even after learning otherwise. wirt doesn't want to dress up since the previous halloween ended with him in the unknown then waking up in the hospital, but greg still wants to go trick or treating. dipper tags along to help babysit greg despite it not really being necessary, wirt's just glad to have someone to chat with while he takes greg, especially someone who doesn't leap to finding him strange. greg is going as a ghost elephant and wirt assumes it's just the weird kid tradition of layering costumes over the years, but greg's logic is that he "died" as an elephant last year so now the elephant is a ghost. if wirt heard this he would probably end up freaked out, but kids are often more aware of things than expected. dipper is wearing wendy's hat since she traded with him at the end of the series.
putting wirt and greg in there could feel a little random, but these are my two favorite shows to watch during autumn and i associate them with each other. plus, it's otgw's ten year anniversary and it's so perfectly halloween, i think it makes enough sense to put them together. idk i love joy and whimsy, i am cringe and i am free.
i initally wanted to include other characters, candy, grenda, and wendy for sure but i was also considering coraline, wybie, and norman. felt way too complicated so maybe i'll draw something with those characters some other time.
#gravity falls#otgw#over the garden wall#mabifica#implied lol#also#pinescone#implied too but like cmon man of course is mabifica and pinescone who do you think i am#stan pines#ford pines#soos ramirez#melody gravity falls#waddles the pig#mabel pines#pacifica northwest#dipper pines#wirt otgw#greg otgw#jason funderberker#spooky draws#if the read more doesnt work i am so sorry about your dash experience
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How do we balance the tentative joy of hearing about the indictment with the overwhelming and crushing knowledge that not a goddamn thing is going to come of this and ultimately nothing will change?
Because
um
reasons.
(actually i feel like if the skies split open and shithead goes to jail it'll just leave a giant sucking void for desantis to slime his way into the party's graces and he'll charge full speed ahead into nuking this country from the inside)
Okay, look. Everyone reacts differently, we've all been through a fuckload of trauma, and all that, but I just... really don't get the pre-emptive "don't get your hopes up, nothing will happen and nothing will change." I know that people do it as a defense mechanism, but we spent months hearing that Trump would win the 2020 election. (He lost it.) Then we heard that all his lawsuits to overturn might actually work. (They didn't.) Then we heard that he wouldn't be impeached after January 6. (He was.) Then we heard that he wouldn't be indicted, and well, today, he was. This is unprecedented in the history of America. Over 250+ years, and a current or former president had never been indicted for anything. Not even goddamn Nixon was formally charged, and Biden definitely isn't gonna pardon Trump the same way Ford did with Tricky Dick. And now that someone has finally bit the bullet and gone first, there are a whole cascade of other indictments lined up and waiting to be finished.
We don't know what will happen, but something will. Trump will be arrested and arraigned, and yet again: this has never happened before. Just throwing up our hands and going "well guess nothing's gonna happen and he'll get off scot free!" is NOT the energy we want to be bringing here. It's time to push forward, make sure that the Manhattan DA, and everyone else with pending charges against him, hold that motherfucker's greasy orange feet to the fire and make him FRY. As for DeSantis, as I have written about before, he's not smart, he's not a good candidate, and his ideas are not by any means universally popular. Fascists thrive on making you feel disempowered and hopeless, so it's no use to fight them since they'll just win anyway, and all the terrible events of the last few years have made it an appealing idea, but... c'mon now.
Everyone insisted for months that Trump would never be charged with anything. But almost 60% of the country thinks that the criminal cases against him are permanently disqualifying, and this is before any major cascades. This whole "if you dare to arrest Trump, he'll win in a landslide in 2024!" psy-op is just that: a psy-op. A trick. A bluff. They're shit scared that the Big Mac God King is finally on the brink of an actual downfall and facing consequences for his actions for the first time in his fucking miserable life, and they're trying to freak us out of doing it, because they have nothing left. So I say: get him. Run him over. Then back up the truck and run him over again.
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Getaway truck | a western road trip with Luke Castellan
Tags: established relationship,Luke and reader are basically the mom and dad of chb, reader’s godly parent is not specified.
Author’s note: tbh I’ve been lowkey obsessed w western Americana and road trips. I wanted this to be longer but whatever
The humid wind coming from the rolled down window gently messed up your hair.
You sat quietly on the passenger seat of the washed out green truck you and Luke rented. It must have been a Ford 1967, or some other kind of vintage model.
You couldn’t tell, and honestly, you didn’t bother to anyways, too busy looking out of the window admiring the desertic surroundings; sipping on your drugstore coca-cola.
<<you smudged your lipstick>> he glanced at you, taking his eyes off the road to send you a lopsided smile. One of his big and rough hands rested on your bare thigh, exposed by your jeans shorts.
It was mid summer, almost autumn time, yet the western country side never failed to drain you out with its scorching weather.
<<did I?>> you pulled down the visor, inspecting yourself in the small mirror; but you could tell he was right by the red stain on the metal can.
<<oh yeah, I did>>
Luke laughed lowly while he took a turn to the left, hand strong and firm on the steering wheel. You admired him in silence, a sort of pride filling your ego as you looked at your boyfriend.
That day, he wore a white linen shirt, which he (purposely) left unbuttoned on the chest, making his Hermes dog-tag visible. A pair of sunglass used to sit in the bridge of his nose, but were now long forgotten on the dashboard. It felt weird to see him without the bright orange shirt.
This little getaway from camp was going more than lovely. Finally free from all the responsibilities you both had to take on. You couldn’t even imagine how the camp must have looked like in that moment, with both of the two head counsolers gone.
<<do you think they set the cabins on fire?>>
<<for how long have we been away?>> Luke said
<< half a day?>> you nodded
<<yeah then, the woods are probably already burning as well. Along with the cabins and all>>
he hummed in approval at his own answer, earning a giggle from you.
He caressed your thigh with his thumb.
<<im joking, I’m sure the kids will be alright>>
<<you sound like an old dad>>
He shrugged his shoulders, grinning; but just as it started, the conversation slowly died down.
In the background of your comfortable silence, a low melody coming from the radio filled your ear.
With Luke, you didn’t need to talk. No many words need to be spoken with a man like him. You have been together enough to understand each other in silence. Plus— that should’ve been a sort of vacation from the chaos of camp.
So you preferred not to add anything else, simply allowing the worries to occupy the back of your mind.
You turned the music up as Molly Parton started playing.
You enjoyed the song, humming along the robotic notes coming from the radio.
Fortunately, by the time you arrived at your destination— a lake far far away from the one you had to see everyday— the worries were all gone. Replaced by that fuzzy feeling that only being with Luke could give you.
#luke castellan#pjo series#percy jackson#luke castellan smut#pjo x reader#luke castellan x reader#luke castellan pjo#luke castellan x you#charlie bushnell#charlie bushnell x reader#pjo smau#pjo show#pjo smut#pjo boys#pjo cast#pjo disney+#pjo tv show#pjo#percy jackson x reader#percy jackson smut#charlie bushnell x you#luke castellan fluff#road trip
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Called to Duty 1
Warnings: non/dubcon, pregnancy, abandonment, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Characters: Captain Syverson
Summary: You struggle to move on from the biggest mistake of your life but find it hard to forget among the whispers of a small town.
Part of the Backwoods AU
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.
You rub your lower back as you enter the bakery. You focus on the simple task; just a loaf of bread. You have a weak spot for the sourdough there. Just thinking about it, you could salivate.
You wait behind another customer. You think she works at the bank but you’ve never been very good with faces, even in a small town like Hammer Ford. Others don’t seem to have that issue as your name easily rolls off their tongues. The whispers are getting louder now that you can’t hide as easily.
The bank clerk sidles along the counter and glances over her shoulder as you shuffle forward. She sends you a judgmental look but you reserve any of the same. Everyone knows she’s sneaking around with the manager down at her branch.
You tug your shirt down as it threatens to ride further up your stomach. Everything’s too tight these days. Everything’s uncomfortable. Your fingers linger on the hem, touching the taught flesh beneath. Four months now.
“Hi,” you greet the woman behind the till, “can I get a loaf of the sourdough. I’ll take the day old for the discount if you got it.”
She smiles brightly and repeats your order, asking if there’s anything else. You say no. You budgeted for the bread, even a tea would put you too close to the line. She grabs you a loaf and she keys in the day-old discount.
You pay as she slips the wrapped loaf into a paper bag. Before you can turn away, she stops you, “have a cookie,” she points to the plate of shortbread beside the small specials sign. “They’re not moving.”
“I can’t,” you argue.
“You’re doing me a favour. I don’t like to throw them away,” she insists.
You smile sheepishly and take a cookie, hugging the bag above your stomach as you turn and nibble on the cookie. You cross to the door, juggling your armload as you open it, and leaving without a look back. You hear your name again before the door closes.
Who’s the father…
That’s the big question. You’re not married, not dating, so who could it be? The same question got you kicked out of your mother’s house. The pharmacy let you the dingy bachelor above as you spend your days working a till at the front.
You won’t say it, even to dispel the murmurs. You know it wouldn’t solve anything, only add fuel to the fire. ‘She should’ve known better. The golden prince of Hammer Ford is a known playboy. Why wouldn’t she be safe? Why wouldn’t she be responsible?’ They wouldn’t ask the same of him.
As you turn onto the street, your arm hits someone else and you drop the cookie. It cracks on the pavement and you look down, leaning forward to see the ruins. You deflate. Oh well, it was free, after all.
“Sorry,” a voice draws your attention from the spoiled shortbread. You look up at the man. You know him, you think. Again, you’re no good with faces.
He runs his hand over his shaved head then drags it around his beard, “I’ll get you another.”
“No, you don’t have to,” you wave him off, “I should go…”
“Miss, it’s the right thing to do,” he insists.
“Really, it’s okay,” you assure him, “I should’ve looked where I was going.”
“Me too,” he agrees.
You tilt your head and push a shoulder up, “well, have a good one.”
You turn to cross the road, looking both ways. As you step down from the curb, the man does the same. Why can’t you remember his name? You swear you ran into him before. Down at The Horn with… him.
He walks parallel to you as you cross the street. You stop and look at him, confused.
“Just seeing you across, miss.”
“Uh, thanks, that’s very nice but you don’t have to do that,” you chuckle nervously.
“I know. Just what I’m trained to do.”
You remember, he’s a soldier. Yeah, Thor mentioned that. Just thinking his name stings.
“Right, well, thanks, I appreciate that,” you put your hand on your stomach and haul the bag higher, turning toward the pharmacy just a shop down.
You hear him follow you again. It makes you nervous. Is he going to the pharmacy? It could be a coincidence, it’s a small town. Still, it’s very odd.
You go to the door just past the store entrance and take out your key. He comes right up and watches you, looming strangely at your shoulder. You hold onto your key and face him.
“You’re pregnant,” he says as if you don’t know.
“Uh, yeah,” you nearly laugh, “I am.”
“Shouldn’t be carrying all that,” he says.
“Just bread,” you answer.
“That father should be getting you bread,” he argues.
You’re put off by his demeanour. He speaks as if he’s giving orders to the world around him. You guess that’s just his nature.
“He won’t be doing that,” you shake your head. “I’m fine, really.”
“You don’t remember me,” he adds, “I remember you. You were dancing and drinking.” He looks again at your stomach. You put your hand over it defensively.
“I wasn’t like this then.”
“You weren’t,” he frowns then points to your finger, “no ring?”
This is awkward. Where everyone else in Hammer Ford is happy to whisper behind their hands, he’s interrogating you in the street. You shake your head and look down.
“Must not be a real man who did that,” he comments, “I’m Sy, just to remind you.”
“Sy,” you sniff, “right, I–”
He says your name first, “I remember.” He taps his temple, “I won’t forget.”
You swallow and the bag crinkles against your chest, “I’m… gonna go, uh, Sy, my feet hurt.”
“Be safe,” he commands.
“Thanks,” you utter awkwardly and stick your key in the slot. He stands staunchly as he is and as you pull the door open, he reaches to open it all the way and holds it, “got it.”
You keep the fragile smile on your lips and bow inside. He lets it close slowly and you pause to make sure he’s on the other side. You twist the lock into place and recoil. That was very weird.
#captain syverson#dark captain syverson#dark!captain syverson#captain syverson x reader#au#backwoods au#drabble#series#called to duty#sand castle
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Break - Stanley Pines x Reader
Stan has a break between tour groups.
Tags: NSFW, MDNI, oral sex
You say in Stan’s office running the accounting. The mystery Shack’s profit had skyrocketed since the Pines family saved the town, since they saved you.
You smiled fondly at the picture of you Stan kept on his desk. You were just glad Soos hadn’t taken the whole place over, leaving it exactly how it was despite being the new Mr. Mystery.
Soos, however, was on vacation with Melody. He’d called it a babymoon, whatever that was. You assumed it was a last trip to spend together, just the two of them, before Melody had the baby. You couldn’t be more happy for them.
You’d seen tourist groups come in and out all day. It was busy, busier than you had seen it in a long time. Stan was excited, though. Gave him a chance to stretch his conning legs. “I got my sea legs. Now it’s time I get back to my roots.”
You watched Stanley escort another group by you and into the gift shop, giving you a little wink as he passed by. You gave a small wave before getting back to work. As good as SOS was at being Mr. Mystery, his bookkeeping was terrible. You needed to fix that mess as quickly as possible.
When the door to Stan’s office slammed shut, you looked up from your numbers. Your fingers stilled over calculator buttons as you looked up at Stanley whose back was pressed to the door. He flicked the lock shut.
“I got ten minutes until I gotta get that next group goin’.” His smile was lecherous as he made his way over to you. You gave him a confused look, trying to find where you were on the spreadsheet in front of you. “Come on, doll, don’t give me that look. I’ve missed you.”
You met his eyes again, choosing to ignore the fire within them. You wondered if taking back this gig, even if only for a week or two had done something to him. Perhaps it was the fact that he hadn’t even gotten the chance to touch you since he and Ford got back from their expedition only yesterday night.
He cross the room to sit in front of you. As he sat on the desk, his legs were spread just enough to pull your chair closer to him.
“Stanley,” you warned as he leaned down to kiss you on the lips. It was sloppy and hungry. He wasted no time in getting his tongue in your mouth. You pulled away once his hands were guiding yours to the growing bulge in his suit pants. “I need to finish this.”
Before you knew it, his half-hard cock was free from his slacks and in your warm hands. He kissed you again, his own hand guiding yours up and down his length. The sigh that left your lips was involuntary. It had been so, so long. He continued to swell in your hands, already bucking into your grasp. He guided you slowly at first before picking up speed.
His movements stopped when you started pulling at your own clothes just enough to make it work. “Ain’t got time,” he groaned when your fist continued to work him. “I’ll make it up to you later, sweet cheeks. I promise.”
“I’ll hold you to that.” You punctuated your words with a sharp twist of your wrist causing his head to fall back.
You pushed his thighs further apart to get closer. You met his eyes for a moment before you took him into your mouth. Of course, his hands tangled in your hair, already threatening to push you down further. He held on, though. He still had a few more minutes.
As you twirled your tongue from base to tip as back, Stan did his best to stay quiet. The last thing he wanted was for anyone to come investigate, but the thought of someone seeing the two of you like that, being caught, gave him a little thrill. His fingers reflexively tighten in your hair.
“So beautiful,” he chuckled as the hand that wasn’t wrapped around the base of his dick, working magic with each pump and twist, massaged his balls. You rolled them over in your palm like you knew he liked and his hips bucked into your face. “Geez, [Y/N], take it easy on an old man.” Your giggle around his cock made his hips snap against your face. You could only imagine how good that felt to him.
You curved your tongue to match his girth and tightened your pallet around him, squeezing him tight. Stan gave a huff. Finally, he was loosing control while trying to take yours away from you.
“Yeah,” he groaned, “take it.”
He was pulling your head down to meet each of his thrusts. You closed off the back of your throat with a clench to keep from gagging. You distracted yourself by lapping at the precum dripping into your mouth and onto your eager tongue.
Soon, he finished into your mouth with a gross that grew from deep in his chest, your name coming out like a prayer as his hot cum spilled into your mouth. As you pulled away, his cock left your lips with a wet pop. You put on a show of swallowing his seed. His eyes rolled back at the sight.
“I love you.”
Stan pet over your face and hair for a moment as he caught his breath. He gave you a hum as he stood and tucked his now soft cock back into his pants.
“You, toots- ugh, you are amazing.” He kissed your lips just to taste himself on your tongue. “Once I shut this place down and send my nerdy brother looking for something I’ve made up, you’re getting it. Man, am I gonna give it to you good too.”
You laughed because you knew you were in for the sweetest love making tonight. He’d never admit it. He always acted like he was going to fuck your brains out. In truth, he often did, but tonight would be a reunion he wouldn’t want to rush.
You gave him a warm smile as you followed him to the door, straitening the fez atop his head. “I love you too.”He unlocked the door and gave you another deep kiss. When he pulled away and turned to leave, you slapped him on the ass. Hard. “Go get ‘em, Mr. Mystery.”
#stanley pines x reader#stan pines x reader#stan pines#gravity falls#gravity falls x reader#stanley pines#chillinglyadventurousfics#stan pines smut
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This honestly might be a downer or stupid, but I just got fired and I am having a really hard time. I just want to bury my head in Stan's chest and sob. I was wondering if you could write how the Stan and Ford might react to the reader being suddenly fired and maybe how they'd comfort them? I'm also really excited for the next chapter of your fic!
✧˚⋆ Stan & Ford supporting you when you need it most ⋆。♡˚
oh sweetheart, im so sorry ur going through this, holy shit. just the moment i received this ask, i knew i had to write smth when ill get free time today, because i feel so sorry for you. i hope these two old men gave u even a tiny bit of comfort, please be kind to urself right now, youre gonna get through this, i promise. sending u all my love !! stay strong please 🫂🫂
STANLEY
the thing about Stan is that he gets it. he gets the feeling of being chewed up and spat out, of having doors slam in your face, of working your ass off and still being told you’re not enough. he gets the quiet humiliation, the bitterness in the back of your throat, the way your hands shake when you try to act like it doesn’t matterm
you don’t even remember how you got here. your feet must’ve carried you through the streets, past strangers whose lives weren’t just ruined, past cars honking, past buildings that still stood while the whole world inside you had collapsed.
“hey, hey. what the hell, sweetheart, breathe, alright? you’re okay, you’re right here.” his rough but worried voice reaches you when you slam mystery shack's door open, standing in the doorway with shaking hands, red-eyed.
“i got fired, Stan. j-just gone, outta nowhere. i don’t know what to do, Stan, im so lost.” your throat burns
before you can say anything else, he's opening his arms. “c'mere.” and you don't even hesitate as you crash into him like a wave, burying your face in his chest. and he holds you, one big arm wrapping around your back, the other hand coming up to cradle the back of your head
“there we go. you don’t gotta keep it all in, sweetheart.” the words hit you harder than you expect. you're so used to holding it together, to swallowing everything down, to being strong. and Stan, who’s built himself up from nothing, who’s taken every punch life threw at him and still kept standing, he’s telling you it’s okay to break.
so you do. you bury your face in his chest and cry until you’re dizzy, until your breath stutters and shakes, until all the anger and hurt and fear bleed out of you. Stanley doesn’t rush you or tell you to stop. “let it out, sweetie, s’gonna be okay.” he holds you close tightly because he’s spent his whole life holding people who needed it more than he did.
“it’s not fair,” you gasp, clutching on his clothes.
“no, it ain’t.”
“i worked so hard.”
“i know.”
“i feel like—like nothing i do is enough—”
Stan tightens his hold, pressing his chin to the top of your head. “hey. you listen to me.” his voice turns serious. “some suit in an office makin’ a crap decision got nothing to do with who you are. they're dumb. absolute morons for lettin’ you go. betcha the whole place is gonna fall apart without you because you were the best thing about that shithole. if they couldn’t see that, then screw ‘em. they lost you. not the other way around.”
you shake your head, clenching your fists. “but—“
“no buts,” he growls and then, softer: “you're not trash just ‘cause some idiots don’t know how to treat their workers. you're not worthless just ‘cause some suits decided you were expendable. you are not nothing.”
Stan pulls back to tip your chin up, making sure you’re listening. his thumb wipes a tear off your cheek. “i mean, you still got me, sweetheart. ain’t no job in the world that could change that.” he smiles genuinely at you.
you close your eyes, giving him a tiny sad smile back. you let yourself breathe, let yourself believe it, hiding your face in his chest again. Stan's grip stays strong and unshaking, shielding you from the whole world as you cry until you’re too tired, so all what you do is sob into his chest. you’re just leaning into him, exhausted, letting him hold you up.
Stan sighs, resting his cheek against your hair. “ya ever heard the story of the biggest screw-up in New Jersey?”
you sniffle. “what?”
”lemme tell ya, kid grows up in a house that don’t want him. gets kicked out. loses every job he ever had. ends up in a broken-down shack in the middle of nowhere. total loser.”
you shift against him. “Stan—“
“but he keeps goin’. and somehow, somehow, that dumbass loser ends up with people who love him. ends up holdin’ someone who needs it. ends up tellin’ the best damn person he’s ever met that they’re gonna be okay.”
he lets you lean into him again, lets you breathe him in, lets you stay as long as you need. tells you stories about all the bosses he’s scammed just to make you laugh.
at some point, when the tears have slowed and the weight in your chest isn’t crushing anymore, Stan ruffles your hair and leans back, arms crossed.
“y’know, i could use an extra set of hands around the shack.“
you blink up at him, sniffing. “what? you. . .you want me to work here?”
“yeah, id rather have someone i actually like workin’ here instead of hiring some random kid who’s just gonna rob me blind.” his usual gruff tone is back, but his gaze is what speaks louder, soft and certain, making it obvious that you belong here.
you open your mouth, but he cuts in, pointing a finger at you. “and before ya say some crap about not bein’ good enough or whatever, shut up. i’m the boss, i decide who’s good enough, and i say it’s you.”
you let out a shaky laugh, wiping your nose. “wow, such a heartfelt offer.”
he smirks. “hey, that’s as heartfelt as it gets, sweetheart. but seriously. think about it, okay? i got a spot for ya.” Stanley is not just offering a job for you, he’s offering a place, a place where you’re wanted, where you’re needed, where you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone.
you take a deep breath, feeling lighter for the first time all day. “yeah. yeah, i’ll think about it.”
“good,” Stan smiles and ruffles your hair again. “now, wanna eat somethin’? watch a dumb movie? beat me at cards? or you want me to egg their car?” about the last thing, he's joking, probably. but if you say yes, you know he’ll do it.
STANFORD
Ford finds you sitting at the kitchen table, arms crossed on the surface, face buried in them. you haven’t moved and spoken in a while, just sat there, motionless, like a puppet with the strings cut.
he clears his throat, stepping closer. “i, ah. noticed you didn’t come in for dinner.”
you don’t respond. his brows knit together, concern creasing his forehead. he takes the seat across from you, folding his hands on the table. “would you like to talk about it?”
for a moment, nothing. then, muffled: “i got fired.” slips from your mouth. so that's what happened. Ford doesn’t say oh. doesn’t say im sorry. doesn’t say what happened? he understands you because Ford Pines knows what it is to be discarded. he knows what it is to dedicate yourself to something, only to be told you are wrong. to be shoved out, unmoored, drifting in the space between who you thought you were and who they’ve decided you are now.
he knows what it is to look down at his hands and wonder if they are still meant to build something. after being betrayed.
he frowns thoughtfully. “that was. . . rather sudden, wasn’t it?”
you nod weakly. Ford exhales through his nose, gaze sharpening, analyzing. you. your sadness. the whole situation.
“it must feel unfair.“ he doesn’t just acknowledge the loss, but the injustice of it. and it makes your throat close up.
you lift your head slightly, looking at his face. “it- it is. i tried so hard. i put so much effort into that stupid job, and now it’s just—just gone.”
Ford hums. “tell me something.” he leans forward, putting elbows on the table. “do you think your value was in the work you did?”
you blink at him, but he doesn't even let you answer. “because if that were the case, then the moment you lost that job, you would have lost all worth as a person. but that’s not true, is it?” his voice is always so calm, full of absolute certainty.
you shake your head slowly, unsurely and Ford nods, satisfied. then, after a brief pause, he stands. “wait here” you don’t have the energy to question him. you just sit, staring blankly at the tabletop, until he returns a moment later with a notebook and pen.
he places them in front of you.
you glance up, confused. “what’s this for?”
Ford takes his seat again, tapping a finger against the cover. “do me a favor, darling. write down five things about yourself that have nothing to do with your job.”
your face looks tired and skeptical. you stare at the paper. “Ford, i—“
“anything,” he says softly, smiling at you. “everything. what you love. what you’re good at. what excites you, what makes you feel something. what matters to you.”
your fingers tighten around the pen. at first, you don’t know where to start. but Ford doesn’t rush you, just patiently sits beside you.
so you write. you write about the things that make you you. and at first, it feels stupid and awkward. it starts small, your favorite books, your favorite songs, the way you love thunderstorms, the way you always make extra coffee just in case someone else wants some.
but then it gets bigger. the things you’ve created. the things you’ve learned. the times you were kind when no one was looking. the people who love you, who see you. the way you keep going, even when it’s hard
Ford watches as you write, nodding approvingly at each entry.
“now tell me: did losing your job take any of that away?”
you stare at the words. the little pieces of yourself you hadn’t even thought about in the wake of everything. softly, you shake your head
Ford’s expression gentles. “then you’re still you. and you’re still worth just as much as you were yesterday. because no job, no institution, no single event defines you.” you swallow hard. Fords voice drops lower. “you are more than what you do, more than what you produce, more than what some company decides you’re worth. you are your thoughts. your curiosity. your kindness.” he gestures to the list. “you are all of this and nothing can take that from you.”
your breath wobbles. Ford’s gaze softens further. “come here, sweetheart.“ you hesitate but only for a second, then stand and he meets you halfway, arms wrapping around you. and Ford isn’t Stanley, isn’t someone used to giving big, open, thoughtless affection. but what he lacks in ease, he makes up for in intent.
because he means this. his big hand moves up and down your back slowly. “you’re not alone in this,” he murmurs into your hair. “we’ll figure something out. and until then. . . you are still extraordinary.“ his voice is so certain, and suddenly you don’t feel quite as lost.
“th-thank you” you bury your face in his sweater, hands gripping his sleeves
“and don’t let anyone ever tell you you aren’t smart or brave or worthy enough.”
you stay there a while. until Ford gives your shoulder one last squeeze and pulls back, adjusting his glasses. “now. i assume you haven’t eaten?”
you smile at him, shaking your head. “no, wasn't in the mood.“
“come, sweetheart, let’s fix that.”
#gravity falls#gravity falls x reader#gravity falls x you#x reader#ford pines x reader#stanford pines#stan pines x reader#grunkle stan#stanley pines x you#stanley pines x reader#stanford pines x you#stanford pines x reader#stan pines smut#ford pines smut#stanley pines#stanford pines headcanons#gravity falls fanfiction#stan pines x you#ford pines x you
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How did the mayor elections go in the Jerk Ford universe? Cause Stanley would have no reason to run for mayor, and even if he did, the twins wouldn't have to help him
Some of the Stanchurian Candidate was handled Here.
The reason Stanley was running for Mayor was at the behest of the younger Mystery Twins, because Mabel and Dipper knew that Gideon was gunning for the position via his dad, and there was no way they'd let the town be under Gideon's control.
Gideon has even more disdain against the whole Pines family due to Stan confiscating his amulet, Dipper beating him up, and what Jerk Ford did to his family.
Stan may still be well-liked by the community, but some of the townsfolk have recently soured their opinion of him because even if they don't know how he did it, he must be the reason Jerk Ford is back because no one else would ever even think about trying to bring him back.
@aroace-get-out-of-my-face suggested way back in the OG post that part of Stan's canpaign would be "I will make sure my brother goes into town less."
While Stan does agree to run for mayor, he refuses to make that a part of his campaign. So the kids have to be creative.
In one of the Journals, Jerk Ford had written about an invention called "The Free Will Tie", and how it "protected the wearer against brainwashing, possession, suggestions, and political cartoons". Dipper had gotten better at deciphering Ford's trolling and deduced that it must do the opposite and mind control the wearer instead.
They ask Jerk Ford for the tie and he vehemently refuses, saying something along the lines of his tech didn't need grubby little fingers messing with it. So they wait for him to fall asleep in the living room (Jerk Ford didn't sleep in the basment or his old bedroom, because "he didn't like sleeping anywhere that didn't have multiple exits") and once he's asleep they sneak into his lab and steal the mind control tie.
Things go pretty similarly to how it does in canon, with Gideon controlling his father via possession spell, the only difference is he's doing this from a safe distance away in the woods and not from jail, since he didn't go to jail in this.
Things go awry as they did in canon when the dynamite is set off on the monunent with the twins on it- Stan initially tries to save them like he did in canon, except this time he's unable to because Soos pushes him to the ground and beats him with a shovel because the sparks had set him on fire.
So the twins do fall from the manuments nose, with the ropes untying them from the chairs some point before the fall. Without her grappling hook, Mabel can only cling onto Dipper as they descend to their untimely deaths.
There's bone cracking sounds - but not from her or Dipper. Someone caught them before they could hit the ground and to their shock it was Grunkle Stan's brother.
He looks at them both quickly - checking to see if they're okay?? - before carefully setting them both down. One of his arms is at a weird angle it isn't supposed to be at, and there's a little bit of blood coming out of the corner of his mouth so he must have an internal injury, but neither of those things are what's disturbing about Jerk Ford right now.
He's completely silent. He says nothing - he's always got a rude remark or witty remark that is also rude ready. But not now. Now he's just stalking towards the stage, and every person he passes also suddenly goes quiet.
Dipper is also at a loss for words, clinging back to Mabel as she still is to him, he had seen Jerk Ford sprint out of the treeline. He'd heard from his stories that he was more of a runner, but he didn't know a man his age could run that fast. Wendy runs out of the crowd to go check on the twins.
At this point Soos had managed to take out the fire on Stan, and was helping him back up, Jerk Ford doesn't stop his stride but he does at least glance over at his brother and nephew, confirming by sight that they're both okay.
Stan's trying to say something to his brother but he's coughing too much to form words and Soos is desperately trying to keep him from making any sudden moves, he seems to be trying to break away for some reason.
Everyone's silent in the crowd as Jerk Ford stops right in front of Bud's podium.
Then in a flash he leaps right over it at Gleeful and starts beating the dog sh*t out of him. Bud doesn't stand a chance.
Take in mind, this is Bud's size in comparison to Stan in canon:
Also take in mind, Jerk Ford is scrawny compared to his canon self. And in fact, according to the AUs artist @tearosepedall, Jerk Ford is also slightly shorter than his canon counterpart.
So everyone just watches in horror as an old man with a broken arm and multiple broken ribs savagely beats a younger guy three times his size like he owes him money, and is showing no signs of slowing down, stopping, or mercy.
Wendy is compelled to cover the twins' eyes because not only is the beating that bad, but none of them knew Jerk Ford could be scary, isn't he supposed to be just some nuisance? Nuisances are supposed to be harmless! And he said he prefers elusion over fighting.
Dipper gets a cold, sinking revelation that Jerk Ford could have easily snapped him in half any of the times Dipper has hit or tried to hit him with a blunt object.
Bud gets into pretty bad shape at the assault, which doesn't stop until Gideon also runs out of the treeline crying and begging Jerk Ford to please don't kill his dad it wasn't his fault he'll leave his family alone just please stop.
Gideons bellowing causes a chain reaction of Jerk Ford halting his beat down, Stan finally breaking free from Soos' hold and running over to pull his brother off of Gleeful, and Wendy with the twins in tow also running towards the stage.
Whatever Stan did or said to Jerk Ford must have flipped a switch because as Wendy, Dipper, and Mabel are on the stage with the rest of the mystery crew, Jerk Ford is back to his normal self, because he makes a grumpy remark about how the kids "fell on him because he just happened to be standing there".
Now everyone votes for Stan because they're too scared of what Jerk Ford will do them if they don't, and Stan wins the election (also Bud Gleeful gets picked up by an ambulance), however Stan ends up turning down the position of mayor to Tyler Cutebiker, the last remaining candidate, citing that he's realized he needs to focus more on his family.
They go home and Jerk Ford takes some kind of weird medicine out of his bag and injects himself with it - he explains to Stanley that it's something that can heal bone breaks in the span of a few minutes (Broken Bone Serum), but the kids didn't hear this because as soon as he's healed, Mabel runs in with stickers, gauze, glitter glue, and ace wrap demanding to cast Jerk Ford's arm.
Jerk Ford lets her do so but he complains the whole time, which doesn't dampen her spirits in the slightest.
What does dampen her spirits however is that when Stan caught on fire it burnt off a bunch of his hair so now he has short hair and a more disturbing resemblance to his 'bad' twin (something that irks Dipper). Mabel is so sad because she can't braid Stan's hair anymore! Who else is she going to braid train with in this house? (It might not be spotted initially but in the artists design for Stan he has long hair that he pulls into a ponytail or a braid)
#Jerk Ford AU#Jerk Ford#stanford pines#ford pines#grunkle ford#stanley pines#stan pines#grunkle stan#mason pines#dipper pines#mabel pines#bud gleeful#gideon gleeful#wendy corduroy#soos ramirez#Jesús Alzamirano Ramirez#gravity falls#gravity falls au#au#Jerk Ford using that insanely high charisma to Force of Presence the crowd into scared silence#Jerk Ford isn't much of a fighter compared to other versions of Ford Pines#And again he's rather evade and escape instead of resorting to fisticuffs#But don't mistake that for inability because he was still stuck in a multiverse full of demons and aliens#And a Hate Club that was hunting him for sport#At the start of the summer Bud Gleeful was only attracted to women#By the end of the summer he was attracted to women and Jerk Ford specifically
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Dude seriously nobody talks enough about Stan’s route and it’s literally my favorite. Especially the cliff part and the art for that is so UGGHHH I wish the moment wasn’t interrupted 💔
RIGHT! I mean I enjoy Ford's route but come on. Stan's is just amazing.
He fixes your car for free { even though we all know he could have made some excuse and pushed it off on someone else }
He makes you a hat! WITH YOUR NAME ON IT
Get's all bashful when you take Mabel and Dipper out for breakfast and you help Mabel for Gompers and Waddles wedding 😩.
Build's you a camp fire and gives you his jacket.
Remembers that you wanted to know how to fight and want to dance then builds a spot to teach you and takes you dancing { he actually pushes the date up so you can }
Don't get me started on that dance scene 😩
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