#for when the three got back to joe's hometown

[loving-jack-kelly]

musicals that are fully and truly about normal people making normal mistakes living normal lives that for some reason resonate so hard that I can't stop thinking about them:

R&H Allegro (but specifically the reimagining that my college did that was so good I seriously considered taking a bootleg of it to watch over and over again)

Merrily We Roll Along

[katewritesthings]

Learning to Deal

So, I've never written fic before, so please be kind. I've had to drink a bottle of wine to finish the smut and gain the courage to post. Please be funny when you tell me this sucks. :D (I also have ideas for a few more short blurbs in this universe)

•pairing: Joe Burrow x Original Female Character

•summary: Caroline Stevens had been known to the fans of the Bengals' as Sam Hubbard's best friend since he got drafted. Now she's dating his teammate Joe Burrow and must navigate the logistics that come with that

•word count: 4.3k

•warnings: SMUT, SMUT, SMUT. Slight angst. Angry Sex. Dom/Sub dynamics. Slight Daddy Kink. Light choking. Ass smacking. Cursing. Drinking. Cannabis Use. Lots of other stuff. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

Caroline Steven was sure she’d never get used to how overwhelming being a plus one to an NFL starter could be. Since her childhood best friend, Sam, had been drafted by their hometown football team, she’d attended her fair share of over-the-top events with budgets bigger than her teaching salary. (That is, when Sam happened to be single and his mother was not an appropriate option.) This routine would be coming to an end shortly, though.

Over the last year, Caroline had started seeing one of Sam’s teammates, Joe. Meaning that the next time they walked into a jungle-themed room, she would be on the arm of the man she wanted to walk in with, and Sam would not be hindered in attempting to fix his single status. (at least for the night).

Although he was one of the most private (read: shy) people Caroline had ever met, Joe somehow managed to become the face of the Bengals. Seriously, the guy was so closed off when she first met him that Caroline was convinced Joe hated her. It wasn’t that Caroline disliked the fact that her boyfriend was charismatic enough to become a franchise player; she just hated the legalities that came with it. 

It would only take the entire next Monday arguing with the agents and publicists that the NFL and Bengals put together to officially be Dating Joe Burrow™. Caroline was more than ready to be able to claim the beautiful man she grew to love as her boyfriend, but she knew that Joe was a little more hesitant about what compromises they were going to have to make as a couple to get this approved through the league. There were whispers about using their anniversary to make sponsored posts already.

Walking into the banquet hall the Bengals had rented at Moerlein Lager House, Caroline scanned the room for her boyfriend. While they had texted a few times throughout the day, their conversation before Joe dropped her off yesterday had been acting… off. Joe seemed a little put off about having to use his personal life for marketing, but Caroline hoped he saw her as worth it. The two made their way to a table to the left of the entrance, where champagne flutes were set out for guests to take. 

“Calm down, Stevie." Sam’s voice brought her back to reality, using her childhood nickname. “I really don’t think Danny Devito is here; there’s no need for such excitement.” “You’re such a goober!” Caroline chuckled, pushing a stray auburn curl out of her eyes. “I just wanted to see if I could see Joe. You act like it wasn’t you who set us up, don’t act like you’re annoyed with how we act together.” 

Before Sam could spit a comeback at Caroline, two arms wrapped around her middle and squeezed her tight. Joe’s deep voice boomed, “Hey, babe," before kissing her on the cheek and greeting Sam. Ja’Marr, Irv, and Tee. joined the three, drinks in hand. Greetings were exchanged before Ja’Marr nudged Caroline.

“Damn, girl. I didn’t know your Ms. Frizzle ass had dresses that didn’t have dinosaurs and shit on them.” With an eye-roll, Caroline pulled at the hem of her black dress, trying to make it come farther down than the upper thigh. She was far more comfortable in her themed dresses and cardigans, which helped engage her second-grade students. “I didn’t know you had that much skin; I almost thought your legs was made of cloth like some stuffed animal.”

Before Caroline could laugh at Ja’Marr’s roast, she heard Joe’s laugh, and his grip tightened on her hip. “Don’t be mad, Ja’Marr. You’ve just been salty that I’m the one she chose to know how much skin she has and how to stuff her.”

At that moment,t the various reactions rang through the group. Tee and Irv sent a chorus of “oooohs” to the circle of six. Caroline nearly choked on her drink and sent a look of confusion and panic to Sam, who responded with a chuckle and a “Well, this got weird. This is my signal to leave.”

Caroline turned out the remaining four men, making fun of Sam for running away when sexual topics came up while her mind raced with thoughts. Caroline shifted in her spot, tugging at her dress again. 

Joe seemed to notice Caroline zoning out because a whisper in her ear brought her back to reality. “I’m sorry, Caro. It came out before I could think. I had two drinks before you got here; I'm so sorry.” Tee, Irv, and Ja’Marr were still in conversation, now about the chances Sam would find enough alcohol and a girl to make him warm up to the sexual topics tonight.

Caroline let out a sigh and excused her and Joe from the group. She led them to a corner near a window overlooking Great American Ball Park and a partial view of the river. “You’re forgiven, Joe. You know, I just hate when you get vulgar.” “I completely understand. You’re not a piece of meat. I promise I’ll only brag about our fantastic sex life and your crazy body when you start the conversation.”

 Caroline leaned even farther on her tiptoes than her heels assisted, and kissed Joe on the chin. “That’s all I ask, baby.”

—

Ironically enough, Joe and Caroline had that conversation at the beginning of the night because, at present, the couple currently found themselves in a small group of Bengals and some of their plus ones from the party, playing a drinking game that required the player to answer the question on the card drawn or drink. The night had gone smoothly after the small speed bump that happened when Caroline arrived, so she found herself relaxing into Joe’s side, enjoying the early morning hours.

A small group of Joe and his teammates had decided that after a season of abstaining from partying as hard as they wanted, they’d continue the celebration in the suite Ja’Marr and Joe had previously booked in a nearby hotel. Something had told them they would be too incapacitated to drive and would want to celebrate as late as possible.

“Oooo! My turn! I pick... Joe!” Irv’s little sister Rachel, exclaimed to the circle. Her words were slurred from the mix of whiskey and weed she had been ingesting, but the entertainment was evident in her voice. It was obvious she was enjoying the usually serious men lose themselves in fits of giggles when another teammate admitted something embarrassing.

“What’s the most amount of people you’ve hooked up with in a night?”

“Three,” Joe mumbled, not picking up his drink. 

Caroline sucked in a breath. She knew this, while they didn’t quite know everything about each other yet, she and Joe had talked a lot in the time of their relationship. Early on, though, they found out that their sexual and romantic history was best left on an “ask-only” basis. Caroline knew herself better than to have Joe tell her everything at once. After his last long-term relationship ended, she watched from afar as he numbed himself in ways she didn’t even want to think about. She knew it was best for herself if she only found out what she needed to know and she believed that included whether or not she would be in the same room with one of Joe’s random hookups. Joe seemed to share the same mentality because he had only ever asked her vague questions. 

Next was Irv’s turn to pick a person to interrogate and a card. He scanned the group and chose Sam. His voice filled the air, reading from the card, “What was your most embarrassing sexual experience? Describe what you remember in detail.” “Fuck off, it does not say that!” Sam protested across the table from Caroline. “I’m afraid it does, Sammy boy,” Irv laughed back, waiting for Sam’s embarrassment. Caroline’s eyes shut as she laughed at her best friend’s discomfort. This situation was so much funnier to her than the one earlier in the night. Caroline wasn’t sure if it was because there was some light ribbing going on, the presence of women, and a game that was about bonding, gave her comfort in a way that was not present when it was just Caroline and 5 men.

 “Well, I guess when I was like 16… uh…. The girl I lost my virginity to…,” Sam stuttered. Caroline’s eyes instantly opened. She knew this story. She had figured in 10 years and a professional sports career later, he would have more embarrassing memories. “Well, uh… We had decided that maybe we would try mouth stuff, y’know. Well, uhh. St-she went down on me for the first time and uh.. .she vomited on me.” Sam stuttered through the whole beginning of the story while everyone else was gasping for air through their laughs. “You got puked on?!” T.B. said through howls. 

“Well, that’s not all.. We both made so much noise when my lap got covered. Ma-her brother came bursting through her bedroom door, and, uh.. he caught us.” Caroline shifted in her weight and faintly joined in the echoing laughter. Joe looked at her with a quizzical look and took another hit of the blunt being passed around. Joe wasn’t usually much of a partier, but the Bengals had put up a hell of a fight this season and it looked like her boyfriend was damn sure goign to celebrate it.. He had slowed down on his drinking after embarrassing himself earlier in the night, but Caroline had seen him with a honey-flavored backwood and at least two different rolled swishers throughout the night.

Before Joe could make anything of it, Sam’s name pulled him out of his thoughts to see Tee’s placing a card on the table. It was Caroline’s turn and she was answering telling the most legal trouble she had ever been in.

“So, basically, Sam had gone to practice and I woke up before he did. I went down to the kitchen in his house and two of his roommates were talking about me over breakfast. They were basically saying the most vile things you could think of and it only got more vulgar once they saw me. I threw a cast iron skillet at one of them and was banned from OSU’s campus.” She had shared this secret with Joe a few weeks into seeing each other. He had heard a vague version when Sam moved out of his house midseason. Caroline filled him in on the details after they were together to let him know why she was so sensitive about being in ceratin situations.

The card game continued for another ten minutes before some member of the group suggested they play ‘Never Have I Ever.’ This time, Caroline caught the look Joe sent her as she filled her glass to get ready to play. “You’re sure you’re okay with this? They’re going to get even more raunchy.”

Caroline licked her lips before forming them into a smile. “I’m fine, Joey. I’m having fun, I promise. And if I get uncomfortable, we can always say one of us is tired. Just squeeze my hip twice.”

Rachel explained the modified “late night, here to get fucked up” rules. They’d go around the circle and each person would say something they had never done. Every person has five fingers up and puts a finger down and takes a drink for every time they’ve done what someone else hasn’t. Once all five fingers are down, the person chugs their drink and is out.

The rules seemed easy enough and before long the game was on and laughs filled the air. Caroline wasn’t really paying attention to who had done what. Except Joe. She knew she shouldn’t, but this was a loophole in learning things about him, and without all the details. So far the score had gone as follows:

“Had sex in a football field” - Joe drank. Caroline drank. “Ever made out with someone of the same sex” Joe didn’t drink. Caroline drank. (Joe winked at her) “Cheated on someone” Joe drank. Caroline didn’t drink. “Been cheated on.” Both drank. “Broken a bone.” Both drank.

The group was in good humor, consistently whooping at Caroline when she had admitted she did something. Rachel had changed gears from trying to get everyone’s dirty secrets to just getting Caroline out, picking topics for her and Irv that they had known would get her out.

They were both down to their last finger and Caroline was starting to get drowsy. She had drunk quite a few times during this game and had been tipsy before. Maybe if she were more sober, she would have realized one of the two things happening within the next moment. Rachel gave Caroline a jokingly competitive stare before mouthing you’re going down.

“Never have I ever fucked someone in this room.”

Being the level of intoxicated she was, Caroline didn’t realize that an odd number of people in the room put their fingers down and took a swig of their drink. She also didn’t realize that, while Joe was intoxicated, he was mainly high which caused his mind to work in overdrive. This meant that Joe had noticed that there was an odd number of people who put their fingers down in the room.

Caroline had her cup tipped to the ceiling and was almost to the bottom of it when she felt two distinct squeezes on her hip and her boyfriend growling her name barely loud enough for her to hear. Her mind started racing at what Joe could.

“Actually guys, I’m feeling a little past my limit and am probably going to lay down. Caroline, care to join?” Joe’s strained voice came through his tightly clenched jaw. Caroline followed Joe as he stood up and made his way down the hallway of the suite toward their bedroom.

“Are you feeling okay, Joe?” The question hung between them while Joe fumbled with the keycard and the door handle. Caroline tried to not let her mind race too much as she replayed the last three minutes in her head. If anything, she should be the one a little upset in her opinion. Joe had admitted to cheating on someone in the past, and although she knew of the incidents, she couldn’t fathom why admitting she had sex with Joe would set him off so much.

A low grumble she couldn’t make out brought her out of her thoughts as Joe ushered her through the door.

“Please?” Caroline questioned, indicating to Joe to repeat what he said. “Why didn’t you tell me you fucked him?” Joe demanded again, this time loud enough for the redhead to hear. She was standing a the foot of the bed while Joe still had his hand on the deadbolt. “Uhm, what and who are we talking about again?” Caroline nervously laughed, attempting to put the pieces of the puzzle together in her head. It hit her the same time Joe’s steeled blue eyes met her brown ones and he repeated the question. “Why didn’t you tell me you fucked Sam?” the third time the question was presented to Caroline, frustration and anger overtook her drunken state. “What in the world are you talking about, Joe? When I told you I didn’t need to know details of your sex life you told me the same?” Caroline was confused. She never intentionally kept anything from her boyfriend. 

“I did ask. The first time we hooked up,” Joe’s voice came out strained. He had moved towards the middle of the large room. All Caroline wanted to do was crawl in the large bed directly in front of her and cuddle her boyfriend. This night definitely took multiple turns. “You did not! You asked me if you were the first professional athlete I had gone down on.” Caroline was exasperated now. She didn’t want Joe to think she was lying.

Caroline walked into the bathroom for a chance to break Joe’s gaze. When she reached the mirror she began taking the pins out of her curls. “And I very clearly heard the story of the first time you had that experience tonight, with our mutual best friend, Caro.” Joe loosened his tie as he emphasized the last few words of his sentence. He was angrier than Caroline had ever seen him off the field and she hated that it was because of her. 

The redhead turned her body to face the door where her boyfriend stood. Even when angry, the man was beautiful. Brown waves fell onto his face nose and cheeks red from a mixture of intoxication and anger. He had his button-up undone to his sternum and was working on taking off his belt.

“And I had told you that story when Matthew asked if you knew how to use a lock! I told you he walked in on me in high school and you cut me off. Plus, that happened well before Sam was drafted, therefore not a pro athlete. I thought you were asking if I was a groupie trying to add another to the list.” “I genuinely thought you knew babe,” she said from in front of the mirror, her eyes taking in Joe. He had leaned against the doorway and was watching her in a manner that made her unsure of what he was thinking. Usually, communication was easy between them. Disagreements never lasted long because even if they had conflicting feelings on a subject, they were both willing to hear it from the other’s perspective to attempt to understand.

Caroline unfastened the back of the earrings she was wearing and placed them down in the travel jewelry box she had placed on the counter earlier in the evening. “I told you about how I was a nerdy ginger in high school and had to make a mutual agreement to lose my virginity to my best friend. You didn’t want to know who”

Joe took a deep breath and rubbed his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger. “I guess, I didn’t think it was Sam. You guys went to different schools.”

“That’s cute that you thought high school Stevie could’ve gotten the attention of a boy besides Sam.” Caroline made the joke, hoping to lighten the mood. It didn't.

“He went to an all-boys school, and everyone in my school was repulsed by me, so we made a pact to keep up with the Joneses, so to speak. When everyone in middle school was talking about making out, we didn’t want to feel left out, and that sort of just progressed on to other things…”

“Do you have feelings for him?” Joe’s eyes flickered with a flash of emotion as he cut her off, clearly not wanting to hear the details. “Oh my God. Absolutely not in the way you’re asking.” Caroline’s brown eyes made sure to keep eye contact with Joe’s blue ones, she wasn’t going to be the first to look away. “It was really just experimenting, Joe.” “When was the last time? Did I know you?” Joe questioned, anger still seeping through his voice. Caroline felt a lump grow in her throat when she thought back to the last time she and Sam had hooked up, or at least attempted to. It was during her and Sam’s sophomore year in college and he had invited her up to visit him at Ohio State. “It was the day we met. At Ohio State.” Caroline uttered. Sam had insisted on taking her to Woody’s, the on-campus tavern, to meet with some of the second-string freshmen. Joe barely said hello to her, before returning his attention to the playbook in front of him. The room was silent for a minute before Joe broke their eye contact, standing up straight. Rubbing his fingers against his lip again, he turned his head to the side. “Fuck, Caro.  I just hate that he’s had what’s mine.” Before Caroline could get out the words, ‘What’s yours?’” Joe closed the few steps between the two. 

“Yes, Caroline. You’re mine.” His proximity to Caroline caused her back to turn flush against the counter. “And tonight I’m going to mark my territory.”

A warm feeling of realization washed over Caroline when she realized what Joe meant. Or maybe it was horniness. Because at that very moment, his hand wrapped around Caro’s throat and bucked his hips into hers.

A moan of agreement left Caroline’s plump maroon lips, causing Joe to growl. “That’s right, baby. I’m going to take what’s mine. But first, on your knees.”

Excitement sent of chill throughout Caroline’s body. She liked it when Joe was dominantt, but it rarely ever happened without her explicitly asking for it. What can she say, the man was all about her gratification by default. 

Before her knees even made contact with the cold tile, Joe’s cock was out and hitting her in the face. A smile spread across her face before she opened her mouth and gave a lick to the head. Caroline still had her tongue out and she worked her mouth down Joe’s shaft. When the head hit the back of her throat, she closed her lips and wiggled her tongue. 

“That’s right, baby,” Joe smirked, raking his hands through the auburn curls at his pelvis. Caroline brought a hand up to cup his balls, retracting her tongue and beginning to move her back and forth. “Fuck.” Joe bucked his hips into his girlfriend’s mouth, causing her to gag a bit. “Gag on Daddy’s cock, that’s right.” He demanded, causing Caroline to loosen her jaw and attempt to take the rough fucking her face was receiving. That was new.

After a few moments filled with slurps and moans, Joe finally spoke again. “Get up. Turn around.” Joe’s voice was still gruff with anger, but possesiveness and lust had also joined in. If Caroline hadn’t already been wet from the worship Joe had just demanded from her, she would’ve been after Joe gave her ass a smack and returned his left hand to her throat. They made eye contact in the mirror in front of them.

“After tonight, there’s going to be no doubt you’re mine last.” Joe leaned in and whispered into her ear. His right hand busied itself tugging down the thong she had under her dress. Caroline lifted her leg slightly to step out of the thin material, Joe took this as his opportunity to line up the head of his dick with the slick of her pussy.

The tip of his dick entered her warmth and he whispered, “My girlfriend,” as he slammed his entire length into her. White pleasure tore through Caroline’s pelvis when this happened. Joe was not small, and feeling him push his entire length into her gave her a sense of fullness that she craved.

Pulling out slowly, his eye contact never wavered from Caroline’s. “On MY arm for events.” He thrust into her again, then pulled out even slower causing a whimper to escape Caroline’s smudged lips. “Mine,” Joe repeated, burying himself to the hilt again. “Any objections?” Caroline shook her head, making sure to keep her brown eyes locked on Joe’s blue ones. She wanted to see his reaction.

“No, sir.”

And she was glad she did. Joe’s eyes somehow got even darker with lust as his right hand pushed her back down, so her chest was flat on the counter and his left found her throat again. The marble dug into her thighs, but at this point, the pain was mixing with the pleasure, Joe thrusting aggressively into her.

Caroline couldn’t make out the chain of expletives leaving Joe’s mouth as she began to feel the intense pleasure building inside her. “I’m so close, Daddy,” she whined, trying on the new title Joe had given himself earlier. “I wanna come on your cock so bad.” If Caroline thought Joe lost himself in lust earlier, she was wrong. He let out a guttural moan and stood Caroline back up again, without removing the hand from her throat. He moved his hand from her back to her clit. He used his long fingers to work circular motions on the sensitive nerves until Caroline lost herself to her pleasure and began twitching lightly. She wasn’t sure if she was actually moaning or just imagining it until Joe’s voice coached her through her orgasm. “I know, darling,” He planted a kiss on her head. “I know, you’re doing such a good job, just breathe.” He peppered more kisses over the top of her head before he moaned again. “I’m going to come, babe. Get on your knees and open your mouth.” Caroline did as she was told, quickly. She wasn’t going to give Joe a reason to question whether she liked this side of him or not. Joe pumped his fist around his dick twice before warm ropes came shooting towards Caroline, most of it making it in her mouth, a little on her lips and chin. She took Joe’s thumb and wiped the excess, before making eye contact and engulfing it in her mouth. After swirling her tongue around Joe’s thumb a few times, she swallowed. She set her lips in an ‘O’ to show off her newly empty mouth to Joe. “Fuck, Caro. You’re going to be the death of me,” Joe said laughing, his cheeks flushed. He patted his girlfriend's head before saying, “Now go clean up so we can go to sleep. I need you to get some rest before I wake you up.” “Oh, yeah?,” Caroline cocked an eyebrow, still on the ground. Her thighs were starting to ache from never taking off her heels. “Yeah, I’m going to fill you with cum and then we’re going to go eat brunch with the rest of the suite,” Joe said, sternness still in his voice.

Caroline stood up and looked at herself in the mirror. Her makeup was smudged and her hair was a rat’s nest, she thought about how this was the happiest she had ever been. Though, she was certain if she continued finding and loving new sides of Joe, it wasn’t the happiest she would ever be.

[mamaestapa]

omg just a blurb of christmas with joe like going to a light festival or something

Winter Wonderland|| Joe Burrow x reader

•pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

•summary: You and Joe stop at a park to look at Christmas lights on your way to Athens for the holidays

•warnings: none, all fluff :)

"Oooo," you said in awe as you pointed at the brightly lit up Christmas tree sitting in the middle of the park, "look at that tree." Joe hummed as he looked in the direction you were pointing. The Christmas tree was decked out in both white and golden lights, brightening up the whole center of the park.

You and Joe continued to walk through the park, looking at all of the trees and other Christmas themed figures that were covered in lights. It was a couple days before Christmas. You and Joe were on your way to his hometown of Athens when you drove past a small park just outside of the city. You noticed that there were what seemed like hundreds of Christmas lights scattered around the park. You were going to ask Joe to make a pit stop at the park, but you didn’t even have to ask him. Joe knew you loved looking at Christmas lights during the holidays, so pulled into the park without even saying anything to you.

You walked arm and arm through the park, both of you pointing out your favorite light decorations to one another. As you walked through the park, you started shiver, wishing you had brought a beanie just like Joe did. Your teeth chattered as you walked down a path lined with gaudy decorated Christmas trees. Joe chuckled at the sound of your chattering teeth and your shivering figure.

“You cold sweets?” he asked, wrapping an arm around your waist. You nodded, letting out a breathy laugh, “A little. That obvious?” Joe smiled warmly at you and reached up to pull the Bengals beanie he wore during those chilly or snowy Sunday games, off of his head. He ran his fingers through his dark blonde hair, fixing his hat hair. You giggled at the singular hair that was out of place on the top of his head. You reached up to flatten it, Joe silently thanking you as he handed you the beanie. “For that pretty little head of yours. Don’t want you to be cold.” You smiled, grabbing the beanie and putting on the top of your head, adjusting your hair in the process. You thanked Joe and wrapped your arm back around him as the two of you continued your walk through the lit up park.

“Look at the snowmen,” you said, pointing at the three hugging snowmen. Joe smiled, “They’re cute. I like the flashing scarves.” The scarves around the snowmen were different colors, one had a red scarf, one had a blue scarf, and the other had a purple scarf. Each scarves color lit up with a subtle flashing light. You and Joe both thought it looked super cool.

You continued your walk through the park, your hand’s entwined the whole time you walked, even occasionally cuddling up close with each other to stay warm. As you came to then end of the path, you and Joe shared with each other what your favorite light on the path was. Joe’s favorite were the reindeer and giant snowflakes scattered along the pathway, while your favorite was the archway at the end of the path, wrapped with bright LED icicle lights and fake mistletoe, which was also wrapped in colored lights.

You and Joe stopped under the lit up archway, Joe’s blue eyes looking extremely bright under the LED icicle lights. He glanced up to the arch above you, a playful smirk making its way onto his face. He looked back down on you, the smirk on his face growing as he locked eyes with you.

“Look.” Joe said, using his eyes to gesture to the roof of the arch. You looked up, a small smile appearing on your face as you saw what Joe was referring to. Mistletoe tied together with a white string was hanging off the top of the arch. “Mistletoe.” You said, your voice quiet. Joe reached out and placed a hand on your hip, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“You know what that means.” He teased with a playful smirk. You smiled and got up on your tip toes, leaning in to kiss those pink lips of his you loved so much. Joe smiled into the kiss before he pulled away and put his forehead against yours. You stared into each others eyes, exchanging a loving gaze.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Joe.”

Joe wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled his forehead off of yours before the two of you walked away from under the archway, and back to Joe’s car to continue your journey back to his childhood home.

hey loves!

a cute little christmas blurb to get the blurb night started! this was such a cute idea anon🥰

this one was on the shorter side. some of these are little longer than others, but like i’ve said before, it all depends on the request!

i have some good blurbs coming tonight, so stay tuned👀 all of these ideas you all have sent in are perfect, keep ‘em coming!🤍

[steveinscarlet]

Another vintage Kerrang article for your delectation. This one is loooong. Text below the cut...

THEY'RE ALL concerned and they all want answers. Mötley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee, hauling ass down Sunset Boulevard, Los Angeles, in a sparkling silver Corvette, certainly does. So does Blackfoot mainspring Ricky Medlocke, a recent unexpected apparition within the Marquee's glistening vaults. So does just about everyone I've met in the course of recent field-trips. They're all wearing that 'there but for the grace of God' look and they all want to know. So do I...

"Every time you speak to Rick on the phone you come away with a big grin on your face because he's in such good spirits. He's handling it better than I thought he would. He's matured 10 years overnight. He's totally accepted the fact that he's only got one arm and he's being very realistic about coming back into Def Leppard. He's mad to go for it, though, and we're mad to let him try."

That drummer Rick Allen will try, however, isn't in doubt. He's adamant about it and Leppard vocalist Joe Elliott is equally adamant that the band will give him their unrestrained support. As they've said all along, the decision is totally his "We aren't trying to show off or get sympathy," spells out Joe, "it's just the way we are. Def Leppard is simply five lads - we could have been a football team, we could have been international bank robbers. Rick's a mate, and just because he's had an accident doesn't mean he can't still be in the band. If he physically can't do it then obviously there's going to be problems, but with the technology available today I don't see why he can't play snare drum with his left foot, say. And if he can do that, and maybe have tom tom fills already recorded on a trigger, then the kit would look exactly the same. "Bill Ludwig, who builds Rick's kits, actually got in touch with him as soon as it happened, and it seems that there's a lot of one-arm drummers, guys who came back from Vietnam, y'know. The thing is, they tend to play Holiday Inns and places that like that; it's a different approach to drumming. Rick has a very John Bonhamish style - I mean, the quy doesn't need monitors, he's ridiculously loud! - and he'd never be able to do with one hand what he did with two for an hour and three quarters. It would kill him! So he's gonna need the technology. It's just down to whether he can accept the fact that there are gonna be people in the crowd trying to peer through the cymbals to see a plastic arm. He'll have to wear a shirt now, whereas before he'd always go bare-topped..."

THE DETAILS of the car crash that removed 21- year-old Rick (temporarily at least) from the Leppard ranks have been pretty well documented, grabbing column inches in the Nationals and beyond. The bare facts seem plain enough: at 12.50pm on New Year's Eve, while driving his Corvette along the A57 from Sheffield to his parents home in Dronfield (Derbyshire), Rick was involved in an incident which sent his car spinning out of control, turning over several times, injuring his female passenger and removing his left arm in the process. He remembers what happened vividly, and really can count himself fortunate to be alive. When the debris from the accident was examined it was found that the top half of the steering wheel had been bent back, Rick's particular power clearly preventing the steering column and dashboard from crushing against his chest. But why did it happen?

Picking through the events with Elliott it soon becomes obvious that the whole story is a little more complex than yer typical life-in-the-fast-lane pile up. Think about it...

When you're young and successful, with a streamlined US car and a female companion to match, it can sometimes sting the nasal membrane of the folks you've abandoned to a dole queue existence in your humdrum hometown rut. People have been known to glow green with jealousy, and on New Year's Eve people have been known to take a drink. Sometimes even a life...

"Yeah," says Joe quietly. "There was another car involved in the accident."

Mucking Rick around, you mean?

"That's right. But the people have denied it and there's nothing we can do. The coppers have interviewed them but it's no good I'd love to go round and kill 'em!"

Joe takes a moment to collect his thoughts, then continues... "The arm was placed in a bucket of ice gathered from all the houses nearby and Rick was in hospital (the Royal Hallamshire) within 19 minutes, which is unbelievable. He underwent an 11-hour operation; his arm was back on by ten to one the following morning, but infection set in and after three days they had to take it off.

"His nerves are still alive, though. They've got them wrapped up like spaghetti, and it's possible to have them connected up in a way that can give movement to a prosthetic arm. So the Steve Austin 'Six Million Dollar Man' thing is not beyond the realms of possibility one day. Rick still feels his arm because of the nerves."

When did you hear what had happened?

"I heard at about ten to four the same afternoon and I couldn't believe it. I cried like a baby for about three hours - my face was hurting. Peter (Mensch, manager) rang and said, 'Rick's had an accident, his arm's off, but they've sown it back on'. I've heard of that working before but unfortunately it was torn off, not cut off, so everything snapped and stretched in different places, which made it more difficult."

How soon after the accident did you visit Rick in hospital?

"I saw him two days after it happened... it was the worst experience I've ever had... but he was walking a week earlier than expected and telling the nurses to f**k off after three days because he was fed up having his bandages changed. He sounds in fine form now and wants to get back; drumming's all he's ever done, and he's done it very well."

"It's just up to him if he can stand the strain. I mean, he's going to go through some crap. He's not had it yet, but he's gonna suffer from depression; bad depression. He's being very realistic about it, though. He said to me, 'When it comes, it comes.' He wants to come out here to Holland but he knows he can't."

Presumably he won't be ready to play a part on the forthcoming tour?

"No, and he knows that. Somebody will guest with us until we know the result of Rick's convalescence." Would you consider using two drummers on any subsequent tours?

"Possibly, yeah, and Rick could do specific bits. We've definitely thought about that, but he's got a lot to learn first. I mean, there's certain things that are now a fact of life. If Rick wants to wear baseball boots, for example, he's gonna have to wear Velcro ones. And he's probably gonna need press-stud trousers. He's got to learn to bath himself even..."

"The thing is, at the moment his right arm doesn't work. The ball is smashed so they've had to pin it. He's got a six inch pin as big as a poker in there. Imagine if your elbow was sown to your hip; well that's all the movement he's got. I guess he's a bit of a mess, though mentally he's the best he's ever been."

What would happen if Rick returned to the band yet clearly wasn't cutting it? Would you have to tell him? "No, because he'd know himself. He's said that to me on the phone. He's being realistic- if he can't do it he can't, but he's definitely gonna try. There'll come a time when Rick will say, I'm ready, and we'll get together in a rehearsal room for a month and see what he does. He'll either turn round and go

'Yes!' and we'll go 'Yes!', or else he'll say 'Sorry, I'm not coping with it.'

"The important thing is that he tries, otherwise he'll never know, and that would be awful. I know he'd rather fail than not try at all. Besides, it's no big secret that we use drum machines on the records so, whatever happens, he could still be involved on that side. We would just take a session drummer out on the road."

"At the moment, we're trying not to get too depressed about the whole situation, but we were mega-depressed at first. I was in a real state, like a zombie for five hours, and for quite a time after I just didn't want to get into a car. I know it's daft, but it's true

A BONHAM of the biscuit tins, a Titan of the tupperware, since the age of 11 Rick Allen has thought of little outside of drums and drumming. At the moment he's at home, probably watching Cheech & Chong videos on the new system bought for him by Phonogram Records. But chances are that his thoughts are elsewhere, no doubt wafting with the music around the booths and corridors of Wisseloord Studios near Amsterdam, Holland, where Leppard are recording their fourth, as yet untitled, LP. As always, he's with his colleagues 110 per cent (for now it can be in spirit only), a continued commitment that should spur him on through the tough weeks and numerous hospital visits ahead.

Prior to the accident, he'd laid the groundwork for eight backing tracks, and the remaining two songs on the album were always destined to feature a less human touch, the band specifically wanting a more clinical punch, so there's no problem on that front. As for his work on backing vocals, well, Elliott can easily deputise in that department, leaving Rick free to concentrate on the speediest recovery possible and, as Elliott puts it, "Learn to live again. He's having all these drums built and a special car designed, all sorts of stuff..."

All things considered, '84 certainly wasn't an easy year for Def Leppard, a rude awakening for an almost unbroken streak of good fortune. First longstanding associate 'Mutt' Lange proved unable to produce the new LP, likewise his replacement Jim Steinman (though for different reasons - read on!), and then came The Accident, which instantly eclipsed all previous hassles, reducing apparent mountains of doom and dismay to easily skirted molehills. But, if anything, adversity has caused the four active members of the Leppard clan to virtually graft respective beaks to the grindstone in a collective consummate effort to make their next album their best.

The band's first LP, 'On Through The Night', produced by (Colonel) Tom Allom, took a mere 18 days to record and remains something of an embarrassment in Elliott's eyes (someday he'd like to remix it and touch up a few of the vocal parts), while the second, 'High 'N' Dry', with Lange now at the helm, was laid down in three and a half months, including a month's pre-production, bang, bang, bang, 'Mutt' clearly wanting to capture the excitement generated by these 21-year-old 'let's go for its'. But 'Pyromania' now that was a different story, with band and producer (Lange again) making a conscious decision at the outset to pin back the ears of a generation with something of genuine lasting quality; an attempt to update the glories of Queen's 'Sheer Heart Attack' and 'Night At The Opera' LPs...

They went for it in a big way and 10 months later came up trumps, creating a slice of history that many have doubted they'll be able to top; an album that left the whole of the music industry wide-eyed and open-mouthed, and caused bands both big and small to almost instantly re-assess their directions and aims. A (hard) labour of love still selling around a thousand a week, it broke taboos and set fresh standards right down the line.

"Hopefully, it'll be an Heavy Metal 'Sergeant Pepper...'," says Elliott, "who knows, but we've got to do more. It'd be tragic if our best album was our third and we end up doing 17 LPs."

Whatever the next album sounds like, however, Joe's convinced that it's gonna be slated by the press. He's resigned himself to the fact (not having heard the record beyond a few notes ricocheting out of the studio doors, I really can't comment), but, along with bassist Rick Savage and guitarists Steve Clark/Phil Collen, he's ploughing on regardless, helping to create something different to 'Pyromania' in content yet as good, if not better, overall.

"Since 'Pyromania' we're two years on technically," he explains. "The Fairlights are better, the keyboards are better and the microphones are better. And we're two years more experienced, of course. Actually, we keep putting on 'Pyromania' and listening to it back-to-back with what we've done; you have to imagine it without the mix, but it's definitely up there to my ears."

JOE ELLIOTT leans forward in the chair, tucks a fold of his rather battered dressing gown tight against private parts and pours himself another glass of one cal Coke. This for the moment is home, and has been since the middle of August: a simple hotel room in Holland ten minutes drive from the studio complex. Originally, the band were due to play the 'Mick Wall Festival' in Rio, but they eventually decided against it on grounds of not wanting to interrupt recording. So while certain jammy so-and-so's were sunning themselves on the Copacabana sands (maaaan!!), Elliott and co, tax exiles all, were trudging across frozen lakes, wrapped up tight against temperatures of 25° below! Still, there's always next year And if nothing else, in their present position the four are conveniently cut off from all domestic distractions. Through the hotel room window I can see Dirk, Elliott's treasured Renault 12 (and centrespread star of Kerrang! 79), basking quietly in the hazy sunlight, the central motif on an idyllic pastel canvas shaded only by the distant foghorn fuming of an adrenalised Peter Mensch. Somewhere, behind closed doors, he's informing an unfortunate Halfin that a five-piece outfit close to the latter's wallet have been 'stiffing' horribly in the South, and he doesn't mean Torquay! Let's just say he's on form...

Later, on the flight back to London, having persuaded Mensch to fund my purchase of a duty free Sony Walkman in tasteful pink, I tentatively suggest that the forthcoming Leppard biography should be titled 'Me & My Whine'...

"OH, YEAH, DAAAN-TAY!!" he snaps, blood vessels popping like balloons, "AND HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU TO THINK THAT ONE UP???"

Back to business...

"We've always upheld the theory," theorises Joe as things quieten down, "that we don't want to put out a record every nine months. We'd much rather put out a record every two to three years that's of real good quality

"When we started this album 'Mutt' was involved; we did pre-production with him in Dublin, Ireland, which is why we've put him down again on the songwriting credits. It's an honesty thing with us. He doesn't write anything as such; the six of us just sit round a table with a piece of paper in front of us and guitars turned down really low, then whoever chucks in an idea - be it Rick or 'Sav' or me or 'Mutt' - we play with it."

"Steve, for example, will come up with an idea and 'Mutt' will say, 'Change that round', 'Use this', 'Do it in another key', ' or whatever. It just creases me up to think that there are some people out there who look at us and say, 'Ha! They can't write their own songs', which isn't true at all. And even if it was, I'd much rather be involved with an album that sold six million copies co-written with a producer than one that sold 200,000 copies that wasn't."

Surely helping with the arrangements and so on is part of a producer's job, though "Yeah, right, but it's almost as if it's some kind of crime to let your producer be involved. That's what a producer's there for - to kick you up the arse and bring out the best that you can do. We encourage 'Mutt' to be involved and we repay him by sticking his name on the songwriting credits. Who cares! It's only a bloody song anyway..."

Isn't it true, though, that a lot of producers are really just glorified engineers and can't make the extra step up to that level of involvement?

"Yes, that is true, but 'Mutt's an exception anway because the guy's a musician, he's been an engineer since he left school - he's been doing it for 17 years and he's only in his early thirties now and he's also a brilliant singer and great songwriter, so you've got everything going for you! Whereas an engineer will be able to tell you if something's out of tune, 'Mutt' can go further than that and say, 'It doesn't feel right' or 'Sing it this way, shape your mouth like this, let's alter the phrasing'. "With most engineers, if it's in tune and it's what you want then it's a take, and that's all their job is, because if it's that way round it's normally the band who are producing, the way we are with this album. I noticed in Kerrang! it implied that Nigel Green is now producing – he's not, we are. Nigel's assisting." "Actually, he's worked with us on our last two albums, though not as main engineer. Mike Shipley was always our main engineer. Nigel's as good as Mike, it's just that at the time he was involved in other projects; so when Mike took a holiday or went to the dentist Nigel would come in. We've never worked with him on a long term basis before but we do know him."

What happened with 'Mutt' Lange, though? As I understand it, he originally agreed to produce the album as well as help out on pre-production...

"Yeah. In fact, he was still going to do it last February. We started with pre-production, as you've mentioned, but it soon became obvious that 'Mutt' was in no state to see the whole thing through. The Cars' album ('Heartbeat City') nearly killed him; our last album nearly killed him, and the Foreigner record ('IV') the same. I think he's just reached the stage now where to attain certain standards you're talking about grafting for a long time."

"The way we worked on 'Pyromania', for example, we were doing 20 hour days and the guy was sleeping on the couch in the control room. You just can't do that forever, so for the sake of his health he made a wise decision not to do our album. At the time, we were panicking; we thought, 'Oh, Christ!', cos things had all been planned. It wasn't a case of us being afraid of what the album would sound like if 'Mutt' wasn't there, it was simply the availability of other producers that we were concerned about. With top people like Ted Templeman, Mike Stone or Trevor Horn, you've got to book 'em years in advance, you can't just get in touch two weeks before you want to start..."

"Actually, we did approach Templeman just to see how much he wanted, and I don't think he was too keen to do it; he put in such a ridiculous money offer that no band in the world would have accepted it! But then we really wanted somebody a bit different, anyhow. We were interested in the people I've already mentioned initially because we thought, well, these are the names that we've listened to, Bob Ezrin, y'know. But then we started to think about people like Alex Sadkin, who we found was doing the new Foreigner album ('Agent Provocateur'). Trevor Horn would have worked with us in England, but Chris Thomas (Roxy Music, Procol Harum) turned us down flat - he obviously doesn't like us. We actually tried to get Phil Collins, who was interested but tied up with the latest Clapton LP ('Behind The Sun')."

So you were looking at people outside the world of heavy rock...

"Yeah, we were looking at up and coming producers like Terry Manning, who's engineered for ZZ Top, and Steve Lillywhite, who's yet to do a hard rock album but possibly could do a good one. Some of us were interested in him, some of us weren't. I like the fullness of Simple Minds' 'Sparkle In The Rain' LP, it's brill, but sounds are really no problem for us now, we can get good sounds; the thing we always like to have is musical input, and that's where we thought Steinman would come into his own. I mean, the guy's a good songwriter and he's had a hell of a lot of success with what he does."

He worked on the last Billy Squier album, 'Signs Of Life', with Tony Platt, didn't he?

"Yeah, well, he 'navigated' it is what Squier says. We thought, OK, we'll get the sounds and let him do the producing, but it turned out that Jim wasn't really what any of us thought he would be. In fact, I wonder how he's ever got a production credit on anything - especially with Squier, the kind of ego he's got. I can't understand why he even let Steinman's name appear on his album cos we're not putting it on ours."

What was the problem with Steinman then?

"Ahh... I wouldn't be lying if I said that you could have done it as well. I mean that. The guy just sat there reading 'Country Life' all day and going, 'Yeah, yeah, that sounds good', when it plainly wasn't. He's simply not used to recording the way we record. When we said, 'Listen, this is the way we work, you'd better get used to it', he tried and he couldn't. He just could not hear if something was wrong."

Were your standards too exacting for him, do you think?

"Possibly, yeah. It sounds strange to say that, though, cos to me those standards are normal. Doing 'Pyromania' was like going to college; I've grown up listening to things a certain way. As far as I'm concerned, getting the timing, the tuning and the feel spot on is the usual way to work, but Jim Steinman for all his reputation - could not hear it."

"After a while, we just thought, well, this is silly, we're wasting our time and money and wasting his time, though we weren't too bothered about that cos he wasn't too bothered about the project. I honestly don't think he was doing it for any reason other than credibility in the States. "We'd say, 'Right, we start at 12', and he'd wander in at 3.30. We'd stay till 12 or one in the morning, then he'd go back to his hotel and start writing songs for his own future projects, and he'd be up till nine o'clock doing that. So when he finally got round to us, he'd only had five hours sleep. he wasn't there half the time. I mean, he was there in body but not in mind. We found more and more that we were doing the work, which was fine, we didn't mind doing it, we just thought, why the hell should we be giving this guy so many points and so many dollars to sit there reading 'Country Life'!"

So how much did you manage to accomplish with Steinman?

"We did about eight backing tracks and scrapped them; almost everything has been done again. And even the things that went down were our decision Steinman never overruled us on anything. If he said a certain take was good and we said it was bad, we'd do it again."

Who was actually getting the sounds at this stage?

"Us and Neil Dorfsman, Steinman's engineer. He was good, actually, cos he was doing all the work. Jim was the ears of the partnership, but the ears were plugged up, I think..."

"Y'know, it annoys me intensely when a producer walks into a control room and says, "This carpet has got to go!' Sod the desk, that's not important. An SSL desk, 150,000 quid's worth of equipment, and the carpet's got to go! He even had the carpet changed in his hotel room. The guy was living in a suite while we were happy in rooms with a fridge and a cooker. Obviously, we paid for it all..."

"And the food! He went out to the North of Holland and had a 12 course meal! Which is fine, that's his personality, but when somebody walks into a studio and says the carpet has got to go... if I'd been there I'd have decked him. Seriously. Who gives a flying s**t what the carpet looks like!"

How long did Steinman last, then?

"Oh, we dumped Jim about November, we gave him a fair chance. We thought, well, alright, we're doing the spadework, what he might consider the boring side of the album, let's see what he's like on vocals, maybe that's his strongpoint. He did tell us that he spent something like five weeks trying to get Meat Loaf to sing one line, so we thought, OK, the guy's definitely got stamina."

"But when it came to doing vocals with me, it was exactly the same situation as with the backing tracks - everything was my decision. He'd say, 'Yeah, that's good', and I'd go, 'Jim, it's f**king useless!' I'd run out of breath at the end of a line cos I wasn't quite familiar with what I was singing, and he'd say, 'It's got a bit of feel'. Isn't that pathetic?!"

"I mean, Steve and Phil wanted to get rid of him two weeks after he was here. But I just kept saying, 'Give the guy a chance, blah, blah, blah' made meself look a right arsehole. But it was only fair to let him get to the vocal stage of things."

"Anyway, when Steinman went we all sat down and asked Mensch to sort out which other producers were available. We put down everybody we thought might be good. Mike Shipley couldn't do it cos he was off co-producing the new Loverboy album, so we just suggested Nigel. We were doing a better job than Steinman, so we thought, well, what's the point getting in another producer? We send 'Mutt' the odd tape now and then and he sends it back saying, 'It sounds brilliant to me', which shows that we can do it, so we are."

Has having Phil Collen involved from the start of this album (he became a Leppard member during the recording of 'Pyromania', replacing guitarist Pete Willis) made things different in any way?

"Yeah, it means that the songwriting's changed a little; Phil's input is better than Pete's ever was. Steve will always be the major songwriter, I think, but he's really encouraged Phil a lot. He doesn't just sit down and say, 'I want to write all the songs', stuff like that. In fact, everything that Steve's written, he's written with Phil in the same room... Phil's probably involved in eight of the 10 songs on the album."

And what about 'Sav'? He writes too, doesn't he?

"Yeah, but 'Sav's weird; I can't get to grips with him sometimes. More than anyone else in this band he likes your Journeys and your Bryan Adams, occasionally even the odd Duran Duran song, yet he was the one who came up with 'Stagefright' and 'No No No'. And on this new album he's got a number called 'Ring Of Fire' - not a cover of the famous Johnny Cash song! which is an uptempo, thrash, crash, Metal job. He just never writes like the people he listens to."

Will Steve and Phil be sharing the guitar breaks on the new LP?

"Oh yeah, 50/50, right down the middle. Actually, they argue about who's gonna do 'em; not in the sense of, 'I wanna do this', but Phil's telling Steve that he should do a certain solo and Steve's saying, 'No you do it, it's more up your street'. I remember hearing stories about KK (Downing) and Glenn (Tipton) from Priest not talking to each other for four months at a time, but it's the other way round with Steve and Phil. The only thing they argue about is who's gonna buy the drinks!"

What about you, though? You play a bit of guitar...

"Badly!"

...have you written anything on the new record?

"Er... I did come up with some stuff but I don't think it got used. I wrote little bits on the last album, but my main worry is obviously melodies, lyrics and vocals."

"Sometimes, though, we'll have a vocal line and work the backing around that. We've got this one new song, 'Armageddon It', which is Piltdown, just two chords all the way through; it's based around a tongue-in-cheek vocal thing."

Is it a 'Rock Of Ages' type number?

"I suppose it is a bit, yeah. The vocals come out from all over the place once it gets going. It's just a totally stupid lyric... like 'Rock Of Ages', just a piss-take of ourselves, though not mocking the fans in any way."

"And then there's 'Ring Of Fire', which I've already mentioned. It's actually about an Indian meal, the day after, but nobody would ever know that... well, they will now!"

When you're writing lyrics, do you ever think about how the song will work live?

"Not really, no. Obviously, a number like 'Rock Till You Drop' is a stage song, and the same with 'Stagefright', but I've never consciously sat down and thought, well, I'd better come up with two songs about 'Rock This Place To The Ground', or whatever, and one meaningful one about Vietnam, and another about a vigilante in New York. They just turn out that way. You do it in moods. I was probably watching something about Vietnam on TV and 'Die Hard The Hunter' (from the 'Pyromania' LP) came out, and I'd probably been to see 'Deathwish' when I wrote 'Billy's Got A Gun' (also on 'Pyromania'). I can't remember, I just do it."

"I actually wrote 'Photograph' (ditto) while I was sitting on the bog. I was stuck for a chorus and I had a picture of Marilyn Monroe staring me in the face... Bob's your uncle!"

When you made the decision to go for something extra with the 'Pyromania' album, were you confident that you could pull it off?

"We were confident, yeah, very confident, because 'Mutt' was producing. We just had so much faith in the guy and in return he had total confidence in what we were doing. We didn't see how we could go wrong, though Mensch was tearing his hair out when we were nearly a million pounds in debt and the record company were drumming their fingers waiting. I think we had to sell 1.2 million copies of 'Pyromania' to break even, we were in a real big mess..."

"I mean, I nearly had a nervous breakdown, I just couldn't handle it. I was going through so much crap towards the end - do it again, do it again... I got what a lot of singers get, 'Lastitis', which comes from the pressure of finishing. We went through a lot of hell on that record..."

Including, of course, the slightly wobbly exit of young Mr Willis...

"Yeah, but in all honesty I think that did us more good than anything. The thing is, you sometimes take situations for granted and then all of a sudden something like that happens and it's like, wow, it's different, there's only four of us, he's gone, really gone. I mean, Phil joined the day after, but then he almost joined back in '81."

"I tried to get him cos we were having trouble with Willis in America. I rang Phil up and said, 'Can you learn 16 songs in two days?' He said, 'I'll try', but that was just totally out of desperation, there's no way he could have done it. However, when Pete started to act in the studio like he did on tour, which was making Keith Moon look like a bloody vicar, it was time for him to go."

Why doesn't he get some help?

"Well, I think he's beyond help, to tell the truth. He doesn't even realise he needs it, he doesn't accept he's got a problem, though the guy's been in hospital twice as a result of drink and drugs. He had a collapsed liver or something, and epileptic fits, God knows what."

That hasn't happened to the rest of you, though, and you're all the same age, you've all worked your way up together...

"No, it's just him. Pete's always had something to prove, y'see, probably because he's a midget. The guy thought he was 10 feet tall when he was pissed and he'd be taking on people as big as you it didn't work. He was like a gigantic ball and chain around our ankles..."

THE LATEST whisper on Willis is that he's currently swanning around the environs of Sheffield, complete with Rolls Royce and minder, recounting tales of some hush-hush supergroup he might be throwing in his frets with. Elliott finds it hard to take the whole thing seriously, and I think it's fair to say that the recording of album number four is proceeding all the smoother for the wee man's absence.

Already, a number of lead vocals are complete, and the band (employing two studios simultaneously) are steadily piecing together their ten new songs, ready to convince a waiting world that Life After 'Pyromania' does exist.

So what's on the boil? Well, in no particular order, there's 'Armageddon It' and 'Ring Of Fire', already mentioned, 'Excitable', 'Gods Of War', 'Fractured Love', 'Don't Shoot The Shotgun' (Stonesy, I'm assured), 'Animal', 'Love Bites' (a ballad), 'Run Riot' and the enticingly handled 'Women', all proudly produced by the Leppard members themselves, who, without the invaluable 'Mutt' Marten to administer the prods, are taking great and serious pleasure in booting each other up the bum! "Actually, I never envisaged us producing ourselves," admits Joe, "I thought it might be the one thing that would lead to us falling out. It's always been dead important to us that Leppard is a friends situation; we want to keep the element of why we started. Five mates who can still go into the same bar and look each other in the face after seven years. Happily, that's the way it's remained, and producing ourselves is working really well..."

The new album, which now looks set to be mixed by Lange in the UK, an added bonus, should be available by August, after which the band plan to tear up the tarmac on a world tour of, well... y'know. The idea, it seems, is to blow away the studio cobwebs with about eight shows in Ireland, some in smaller places, then steer a course for the UK, perhaps for a September stint (the British dates have already been put back four times!) of 20 or so gigs. A headline appearance at Wembley Arena isn't too far off for the boys, according to Queen's Brian May, a staunch Leppard supporter, but this time around I reckon they'll settle for something a little more cosy.

Next tour, though Europe too seems odds on to cop a visit, particularly as 'Pyromania' has now shifted over 100,000 copies in France and is making a late burst for the tape in Scandinavia as well. Business in Germany, however, remains a little slow, and as for Holland... well, now we're talking about a massive 639 units shifted. Still, at least it means the band don't have to worry about being recognised. Def what?!

By December Leppard should be into America, after which it's likely they'll travel to Japan, though probably not Australia, that stage of the tour having lost them around 60 grand last Feb. Indeed, all in all, their schedule will be less arduous than last time, including more days off to recover and recharge. The band should certainly feel healthier as a result, but then with the Rick Allen episode having shocked the Leppard camp into a highly body-conscious state, that's the way things are heading anyway "I don't want to waste away and vegetate," explains Joe. "I'm 25, I'm supposed to be at the peak of my fitness; I'm supposed to be Glenn Hoddle but I wasn't. I'd run a mile and be out of breath. Now I can run a six minute mile, no trouble, and I do half an hour's worth of exercises every day. 'Sav', Phil and myself all go jogging too - we take less for granted now than we did before..."

[gatefleet]

Go To

Law & Order: SVU: Jose 'Joe' Velasco

Word Count: 556

(T)W: Trafficking, Human vs Automobile Collision

Request: No

A/N: I'm really just trying to get out of my writing slump.

GIF Credit to the original owner/poster if you know who it is pls lmk.

“You really have an issue with allowing me to sleep, don’t you?” you stated as you walked up to Joe in the new precinct. He looks up from the floor and gives you a sheepish look. He was about to respond when you both heard Benson and Fin speaking with the Captain of the Vice Squad. You both looked up and you gave Joe a slightly panicked ‘I swear I didn’t say anything’ look. It became more apparent that Captain Kubiak had been the one to awaken Captain Benson and gotten her and Fin down to the station.

Once everything was cleared up and you had explained to Benson and Fin what you knew (which admittedly wasn’t much) you all worked a plan with Vice to find the girls that had gone missing from Joe’s hometown. You made sure to quietly and subtly reprimand him for being so stupid and getting himself arrested and for waking you up, he shrugged semi-apologetically at you.

You worked the info side of the investigation while Joe and the others worked the streets. They went to a café to speak with someone who was believed to have information on the missing girls and came back with pastries (which you were more than happy to try). Joe began to look more worried and more miserable the longer the case went on. You moved to sit in the chair next to Joe’s desk, he looked up, exhaustion and frustration evident in his eyes. Those sea-green eyes that captivated you for a second before you snapped back to what you intended to do. You comforted Joe and assured him that the team was going to do everything in their power to ensure the safe return of the girls, no matter what it takes.

You looked up when you were called into Benson’s office. She asked you to accompany Detective Chavez to a hotel to speak with a potential victim whom Joe and Chavez had met earlier that day. You agreed and when you met with Chavez she spoke with the girl in Spanish, but although your Spanish was rusty, you could understand them.

Chavez had contacted the teams to let them know that the waitress was willing to talk to them and you both escorted the waitress, Lucia, to Café Senorita’s. Chavez walked in front, the witness followed, and you came up the rear. None of you seen the black SUV coming. None of you anticipated it not attempting to slow down. The world was in slow motion. The car. The sound of Chavez impact. The sound of her body hitting the ground. The fear in Lucia’s eyes as she got up and ran in the other direction. Everyone focused on Chavez, you followed Lucia. She had been hit too and ran in the opposite direction. You followed her on instinct.

You couldn’t take calls from the team. You were too busy trying to keep the trust of Lucia. You went with her to the clinic to get her arm checked out. You hadn’t expected to run into Velasco there. When Lucia saw him, she immediately began to panic and attempted to use you as a barrier between Velasco and herself. You managed to calm Joe and Lucia down and you were able to work out a plan between the three of you.

Tag List Open

[faithinus]

Hi! Do you take requests? I was wondering if you could write something about how Joe would react if your relationship got leaked to the public? No pressure I just really loved "Eyes Open" and want more :)

Woooo! My first request :))) I took many liberties with interpreting this prompt, but I hope you enjoy it!

[Wrong Man]

Joe Quinn x Fem!Reader 🤍 Feat. Jamie Campbell Bower

Disclaimer: nothing too serious here. As always, let me know if I have missed something.

Word count: 3.2K

———————————————————

OH MY GOD YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS.

Whenever your best friend texts you in all caps, it’s followed by one of three things: a video of a hilarious pop culture moment, the revelation that some couple from your hometown deleted their photos together, or a whole lot of trouble. 

She sent a series of links rapidly firing one after the other. The image previews loaded, and much to your surprise, they were all photos of Jamie Campbell Bower.

He was with some woman wearing the same coat you owned. Nice taste.

You inhaled sharply. “Some woman” was you.

Okay, this time it’s probably a whole lot of trouble.

The first link opened a website that looked like a TMZ knockoff. The article was titled in a large, bold font “JAMIE CAMPBELL BOWER IN PUBLIC WITH MYSTERY GIRLFRIEND”

Your stomach flipped. No, no, no, no.

Seeing yourself in tabloids was an odd, dissociative experience. The woman was you, but it didn’t feel like she was you. The fact that you were referenced in a headline violently clashed with your self-perception. These things happen to celebrities all the time, but you were no celebrity.

The photos barely even captured your side profile. It could have been any woman on the planet for all off-brand TMZ cared. It felt like if you just pretended hard enough, you could convince yourself that she was a stranger.

But that was your coat. And your shoes. And your nose, and your chin, and...

The camera must have been pointed directly at your face. More than anything, you were annoyed at how unobservant you had been that evening. Why did you not notice the camera? 

Oh, I dunno, maybe because you two were walking through a busy parking lot.

It would have been incredibly easy for the photographer to hide behind or inside a car and drive off like nothing ever happened. Jamie was smiling in every photo. Your mouth was half open. There was no doubt that you were laughing. It was just two days ago, so you remembered exactly what you had been speaking about. No one could have guessed how non-romantic it was.

-- “Did you know you aren’t supposed to feed bread to the ducks?” You looked out at the edge of a lake, referencing a little boy throwing his crust into the water.

“Isn’t that just a myth?” Jamie asked.

“No, I think it makes them explode or something,” you shrugged. At least, that’s what your mom told you growing up. Don’t feed the ducks bread or their tummies will burst!

“Explode?” Jamie asked going wide-eyed. “You’ve got to be joking. It’s bread, not dynamite. They don’t just combust!”

“Like in their pants, explode, not generally explode!” you whined.

“They don’t wear pants.”

“You get the point!” You threw your head back and laughed, giving in to Jamie’s reasoning.

He opened the door to the restaurant for you and took one last glance at the young duck feeder by the water. “Poor little guys,” he sighed dramatically.

Joe stood up from the table when he saw you enter. He was giddy with relief, and the eager grin plastered on his face confirmed it.

“Speaking of little guys, there’s yours. Enjoy!” Jamie quipped, prodding you towards Joe’s side of the room. --

Joe made a reservation for a small group of friends at a gorgeous restaurant overlooking the water. Jamie just so happened to park at the same time as you.

Shame on you and Jamie for running late. The photographer either missed the on-time arrivals or purposefully ignored them to make it look like a dinner for two.

You hadn’t even been holding hands! Not once did you make physical contact with each other. How crazy would someone have to be to think you were a couple based on only these photos?

Apparently, a lot of people were exactly that kind of crazy.

Bold, clickbaity titles did their job. The article was distributed all over every social media platform. The author wove odd descriptions into the story, making it sound like something out of a tween magazine. 

Apparently “the star and the mystery girl” were “looking loved up” for a “romantic dinner date”.

What a lovely way to report a discussion about bird poo.

Your mind flashed back to all the times you paid the valet double, used a restaurant's back door, and jaunted through their five-star kitchen just to have a private dinner date. It always felt odd, but you did it to avoid this exact outcome of a media storm. And for what?

The media storm happened anyway, just not with the man you expected. Becoming Jamie Campbell Bower’s girlfriend was never on Joe Quinn’s girlfriend’s agenda. 

The headline was burned in the forefront of your mind. God that sounded so weird. You closed your eyes and sent up a silent wish that you would never have to hear someone call you “Jamie’s mystery girl” out loud.

What would Joe think of all this? Had he already seen?

You checked the time. He was due home any minute.

Poor Joey probably had the news broken to him by a publicist mid-meeting. You could see it now:

“Yes, Joseph. We are all set with arrangements for the gala. By the way, your girlfriend is rumored to be dating Jamie Campbell Bower.”

Not like he would believe it. He’s not that dense.

Your identity was bound to be revealed to the masses, and when that happened, Joe would be the worrier. He has a tendency to get overwhelmed by exposure, and when Joe gets overwhelmed, you worry about him in return.

You and Joe mutually agreed to avoid public interactions when you first started dating. Current events made it clear that, if you chose to reveal your relationship status, scrutiny would follow.

At the time, Joe’s female co-stars were being ripped apart solely due to guilt by association. They would give him a hug or a light arm squeeze and all of a sudden they were “fame chasers” and “too obsessed with him”. God forbid a woman be the initiator of social interaction. They were seen as forward and flirtatious at best. Slutty and delusional mostly.

Each woman went through the same vicious cycle. They had every word they said picked apart and analyzed until they slunk away into radio silence. Ironically, they received another round of backlash for not being readily available.

People shoo them away and say “Go away! but not too far away! We still need you for public consumption!”

Public consumption. That was his fear. If there was one thing Joe hoped you wouldn't become, it was a product.

Not to mention the guilt that made Joe feel like a villain. He was forced to witness social media rip his friends to shreds, watching them shrink into smaller versions of themselves. Ultimately, Joe felt responsible for the confidence they lost.

So, it was only a few weeks into your relationship before he expressed his concerns about people finding your contact information, where you work, or your home address. Even without the added pressure, Joe loves privacy.

We are talking about the same man who has an Instagram account, yet doesn’t have the app on his phone. Joe loved the luxury of having social media without really having it. Being in the position to pay someone to curate every post for him and monitor his mentions was like a dream come true.

He captured life’s best moments and kept them in a private photo album away from prying eyes. The things media outlets would pay the most to see never reach the internet. Of course, some photos receive the high honor of being sent around a family group chat. Joseph Quinn is not above sending your siblings an embarrassing photo of you. 

After someone successfully tracked down Joe’s room number, you also started making hotel reservations under a fake name. Thank god they didn't show up. However, the man did call the front desk and give them a performance of a lifetime. It was convincing enough to get him transferred to Joe’s room landline.

Now, every reservation was booked under “Eddie Hugo”. (The name began as a bad joke, but was quickly recognized as the perfect codename to pay homage to both the late hero and the French writer best known for Les Miserables.)

For the purpose of special events, you were a member of Joe’s “publicity team”. Full access to green rooms and backstage areas was granted by a simple pass hanging around your neck that read “TALENT MANAGEMENT”. 

It sounds deceitful, but you loved those nights. You had front row seats to all the action without trading away any anonymity. 

Joe’s team knew your true identity, and much to your surprise, no one outside his inner circle ever questioned it. They probably should have after Joe cheekily assured you, within earshot of a journalist, that you were “welcome to manage his talents anytime”. 

How you’ve managed to keep everything under wraps for this long? You have no idea. 

To be clear, there was a distinct difference between keeping a relationship private and keeping it a secret. Joe told everyone in his life about you. He bragged about your promotion for weeks after it happened. Joe’s father knew every minute detail of “how fabulous” you were at your job, probably against his will. Joe was so proud of your accomplishments even when you discounted them... especially when you discounted them.

Joe’s best friends had no choice but to memorize your birth date due to his tendency to rev up for it weeks in advance. He ran gift ideas by them the month prior. Then, he reminded everyone not to forget about later that month (or next week or tomorrow), because he had "big plans for her birthday."

They knew. He never let them forget.

But these were all real people in his life that he knew wouldn't leak personal information about you and become an “inside source” to some tabloid later on. They were a safe social bubble.

Now your privacy imploded in a way you never expected. 

The sound of someone fumbling with keys outside brought you back to earth. The lock rattled and turned forcefully.

You leaned forward over the kitchen counter so that the front door was in your line of sight. Joe marched through the foyer towards your bedroom. He breezed past you without making eye contact. His lips were pressed together, eyes laser-focused on your bedroom door. 

Not a great sign, but you can’t say you expected him to float in all cheery either. 

“What’s your dress size?” 

The question caught you off guard. Your eyes searched for headphones in his ears or a phone in his hand. 

Nope. He was definitely talking to you.

Joe swung open the bedroom door and kept stomping towards the closet. “You still have that long one in here? The one you wore to Poppy’s wedding?” 

His tone was urgent, but genuinely curious. It dawned on you that he wasn’t mad. The man was just concentrated on some sort of mission. 

“Yes, but Joe... why-”

“Aha!” 

You were interrupted by the sound of hangers clanging against each other and the rustling of fabric. 

Joe popped back into view, proudly holding the pastel, floor-length dress you had worn as a member of the wedding party. He held it against his body and smirked, satisfied. Joe almost seemed like he wanted it for himself.

“Why do you need my dress?” you laughed lightly. Whatever game Joe was playing was somewhat of a relief. You didn’t even care that he was making a mess of your closet. It was a badly needed distraction.

“We are going to a red carpet,” Joe stated matter-of-factly.

“We?” you asked, horrified. And just like that, this was no longer a distraction. You became hyper aware of the elephant in the room. 

Joe tossed the dress on your bed and waltzed out into the kitchen. He offered you his open palm and that playful smile that made him impossible to turn down.

You accepted.

“You and me, darling. I talked to Christie and you have an invite.” His fingers laced through yours and gave a squeeze. 

Ah, yes. Christie. In charge of all things events and appearances.

You wanted to ask him if now was really the best time to have a hundred (more) photos taken of you, because surely these are not ideal circumstances for a red carpet debut. Instead, you opted for a simple “why am I invited?”

“Fine. You weren’t named per say. But, I get a plus one.” Joe pulled you into his chest swiftly. You gave into the hug and settled your chin on his shoulder.

“You always get a plus one. You just never use it,” you dismissed.

You listened as Joe proceeded to explain that this time was different. It was a big awards show and all your friends would be there. You could sit with Maya, and her friend you met the other week, and Jamie, and -

Jamie.

He really must not know.

Secretly, you were waiting for the day you could step out into public and show each other off without caring about the repercussions. But your future trajectory had just been altered and you could see it clearly: You would walk the carpet with Joe, people would recognize you, and soon enough you would be accused of sleeping with every actor on a Netflix series. Joe would never go for it. 

“Come as my girlfriend this time,” he spoke against your temple, just above a whisper. 

Shit. 

The way he called you his girlfriend made your stomach flutter. You bit the inside of your lip, trying to hold down a reaction.

“What do you think?” Joe pulled away just enough to see your face. He hesitated, eyes scanning your uneasy expression. “What are you looking at me like that for?”

You didn't want to say no and deny him all this newfound excitement, but you knew Joe would change his mind the minute he saw the headlines. Ripping off the band-aid is always better, but why did it feel like you were about to tell a child Santa isn't real?

“Joe...” you looked at the floor. “I just think now is the-”

“Perfect time?”

Your head snapped back up at him. No, Joe. What the fuck?

The look of shock on your face perfectly echoed your thoughts. For a second, you saw a smile creeping up Joe’s cheeks, but he quickly swiped a hand over his mouth and jaw. 

You had it all wrong. He was amused. Of course he already knew.

You exhaled a deep release of tension you didn’t realize you were holding in. The relief of not having to drop the tabloid bomb on Joe was so sweet.

Joe took your relaxation as a signal to pull you close again. This time it was the gentle we-will-be-alright kind of hug. You stayed like that long enough to hear each other’s breathing.

“ ’Course I saw the internet. Kinda unavoidable, right?” Joe pressed his lips above your collarbone. “The PR reps kept saying something along the lines of ‘Don’t take her out in public. It’s too soon. They’ll recognize her. Let it blow over first.’ or something like that.”

You stepped back and opened your mouth to interject, to remind him that they were probably right. 

“But-” his fingers grabbed at your hips, begging for pause. “If they tell us to hide from it, even the more reason not to. It will be the perfect way to give a middle finger to the gossip columns,” he added. “I can say ‘fuck you. Nice try. This one’s mine.’”

This one’s mine. Heart squeeze.

Joe released his hold on your torso only to lean back on the kitchen counter. He paused to let his words hang in the air, looking content with the hope of a counterattack. 

“Admit it," he hummed. "It would be fun to knock the wind out of them."

Despite his confident tone, you caught Joe searching your face, hoping he wouldn't see a hint of doubt. You stood in silence, still running through all the potential outcomes in your mind.

“This whole ordeal made me realize that I’m sick of bending to everyone else's will,” he continued. “Those paps think they beat you to your own debut! Don’t let them have that. We can still step out on our own terms.” Joe tossed his arms out wide, gesturing at the home you now shared.  “This isn’t new and fragile anymore. We are solid. It’s the right time...” he trailed off. 

Joe was interrupted by a phone ping. He pulled the device from his pants pocket and flipped the screen around to show you the notification.

New text message from: Dad

“...and I want to brag about you to somebody other than my dad for once.”

Joe finally earned an unrestrained laugh from you and noticeably relaxed at the sound. His dad was a pure soul who never claimed to mind hearing any of Joe's stories. But one could argue that Joe needed to talk someone else's ear off for a change.

You collected yourself and gave Joe a serious stare. “On one condition.”

“Yes?” 

“I’m not wearing a bridesmaid dress to a red carpet.”

Joe held his hands up in defense. “’ Course not! You think so little of me. I was just trying to get your size.”

“Joe,” you shook your head disappointedly. A classic manly error. “Two things about women’s clothing: every brand fits differently and nothing nice ever fits perfectly off the rack.”

Joe, now recognizing his mistake, shot up and scurried over to the kitchen cabinets. He rummaged through shelves and drawers, tossing spare pens and plastic bags aside.

“Joe-”

“Do we have a tape measure?”

“Not a flexible one, no. But-”

“Let me call someone," he mumbled. You watched as he scrolled through contacts in his phone and sent off several quick messages.

"I’ll schedule someone to come to take your measurements. Should I go ahead and invite the stylist? I suppose we should both be in Dior." He stalled pensively. "Is wearing different designers a breach of etiquette?”

As if you had the expertise to answer that.

Normally, Joe went with the flow. He let designers put him in whatever they wanted as long as he was comfortable. By stressing over an article of clothing, he was showing a whole new side of himself.

“Joe. I didn’t mean it like that. It isn’t that big of a deal.”

He looked up at you with a jokingly dumbfounded expression and blinked a few times. “That big of a deal?" Joe jabbed a finger in your direction. "Watch yourself. That's my girlfriend you are talking about.”

You drifted over to Joe and gave him a playful nudge. “Your girlfriend? That’s nice to hear," you said smugly. "For a second I thought I was ‘Jamie Campbell Bower’s mystery woman’...”

Joe rolled his eyes and held up a hand as if to ward off more jokes. “Don’t get me started with Jamie.”

You laughed, realizing that Joe hadn’t brought up Jamie once in the entire conversation. “Why? Does he think he stole your woman?” 

"Worse," he muttered. "Been in my ear all day about how you stole him from me."

[]

[munsons-hellfire]

Fall Into Me | Joseph Quinn

SUMMARY: After a tragic car accident that made you relearn how to walk again, you meet Joe and learn that you can have someone to count on, that you can have someone to fall into when you need to be grounded. You just didn’t realize how much you would rely on Joe until you got that call that changed your life forever.

PAIRINGS: Joseph Quinn x Reader

CONTENT WARNING: NSFW, 18+MDNI (you will be blocked), RPF, Fluff, Angst, mentions of depression, a car accident (very detailed, could be consider very graphic), talks of past trauma, talks of rehab/physical therapy, no smut, no mentions of y/n, she/her pronouns, mentions of death, mentions of pregnancy.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: So originally I had the lyrics to the song above wirtten in this one shot but I decided to take them out. I also had to rewrite this three times because I kept changing my mind on how the plot shot go anyway I hope you like this and feel free to request something for Joe if you'd like more imagines.

WORD COUNT: 7.0K Words

You had a hard time forgetting things that you didn’t want to remember. For instance, when you and your sister had been in a car accident you wanted nothing more than to forget the painful memories of what had happened that fateful night. You were driving, your sister sat in the passenger seat. The two of you were heading home from the movies, at that point in time everything was as it should be. You had great parents, and your best friend was your older sister.

But it came crashing down when your car went over the side of the road. The car was totaled, no saving it. Your sister had escaped with minor injuries, just like the other driver. But you, you had not been so lucky. Neither of you were supposed to be out to begin with but you thought that if you and your sister went to see a movie maybe you could convince her that what she was assuming about you and her boyfriend hadn’t been the truth.

You should’ve known that your sister wouldn’t believe you, no matter how much you tried to bribe her, and tell her that you hadn’t slept with her boyfriend. Juni didn’t believe you, and as it turned out your parents seemed to take her sister. So when the car accident happened, Juni had another reason to hate you and wanted nothing to do with you and of course your parents followed Juni’s steps.

For the duration of the next few months you learned how to walk again, while you didn’t have your parents or sister by your side anymore you had Everly and August there every step of the way. Even Everly’s parents were cheering you on from the sidelines. It helped to a certain extent, but for the most part you felt like a burden to them, felt like you weren’t enough and after the words that Juni had uttered to your face you believed it.

But when he came into your life, it was like time stood still. Everything you had been searching for, everything you needed came from the man that your best friend had been obsessed with. Though her obsession was more along the lines of how good of an actor he was and how he’d done an excellent job bringing this character to life. You remembered it like it was yesterday, meeting the love of your life.

He was now your husband and a father to your beautiful son with a baby girl on the way. You met Joe at a comic con that you honestly didn’t want to go to. Not because you didn’t like meeting celebrities, but because this con was in your hometown and you dreaded going back to the place where your parents and sister remained. After getting through physical therapy to fix what had gone wrong in the car accident, you had left.

You moved out of the states and moved to Manchester. You had been living there for 6 years because running from the fallout of your family was a far better choice than dealing with it. Your sister was still convinced that you’d slept with her boyfriend, and she now hated you even more because you had become distracted. She believed that you were the cause of the car accident, that you were the cause for her “minor injuries”.

You don’t think you could ever forgive your sister for treating you the way that she had after the car accident. And you couldn’t forgive your dad and mom for abandoning you when you had needed them the most. You truly felt betrayed by the three of them and could no longer tolerate being in the same state as them. So when Everly called you and asked you to come back to America to go to a comic con because August (her girlfriend) couldn’t get out of work, you hesitantly agreed.

Everly was set to meet a few of the cast members from Stranger Things, this included one of the few new actors of the show. You were a fan of the show but hadn’t had time to catch up on it considering you were on a time crunch to get the second book in your fantasy series complete and turned in. You told your team that you would finish it before you left and turned it in for the revision, then you would fix whatever might need to be fixed on the manuscript.

They agreed and you were on your way back to your hometown to meet Joseph Quinn with Everly. While you didn’t like the idea of heading back home you thought it would also be good for you to get out so your ex could remove his things from your apartment (well shared apartment), but he had allowed you to keep it even going as far as getting his name removed from the lease. He was moving in with his new girlfriend, they had met at work and while he insisted nothing happened between them until the two of you broke up, you had your doubts.

Both Everly and August felt the same way, agreeing that he might have been lying and had been cheating on you. Then you somehow wound up in the mindset that this was your karma for what had happened between you and your sister (even though it was still false). After your phone call with Everly was over you had bought your plane ticket and began packing up. While you were there you’d be staying with Everly and August.

Whenever Everly wanted to see you, she and August would fly over to see you. But now here you are flying back to them for the first time in 6 years. When it was finally time, you two were with each other and heading to the con. You stayed by her side the entire day, both of you finally able to catch up in person after a few months of not seeing each other. Though sometimes you’d both be interrupted, as it turned out your first fantasy book was very popular in your home state which meant that a lot of people were trying to get pictures with you.

This was still all new to you, being this popular of a writer and being this recognized. Everly had to tell them that you were here for a fun day and not here to take pictures or sign anything. Eventually they left you two alone to enjoy the rest of your day at the con. While the two of you waited in line to meet and get an autograph with Joseph Quinn your mind was preoccupied with thoughts of how you could start the next book in your series now that book 2 was completed (for the most part).

When you had first found your agent and told them about the ideas you had for the romance fantasy series they were completely on board with it and supported your every decision. You were so proud of what you had done with the series so far and hoped that everyone would love the second book. Everly was talking your ear off and you would release a yeah to let her know you were listening but your mind just kept flying back to your book. She finally took notice of the way you posed yourself while the two of you waited in the line.

“Okay, what’s on your mind? Because it feels like you’re not actually here.” Everly said, pulling you deep from your thoughts.

You narrowed your eyes on your best friend, she really did know when something was bothering you or on your mind and you honestly hated it. You hated how easily she could read you. “I finished my second book before I flew over here. Now I’m just thinking about where to take the third book. I have some ideas but they don’t seem to fit right for this one.” You explained, keeping your eyes on Everly.

Everly couldn’t help but smile at you. “I have faith that you’ll get it figured out and it’ll be just as good as the first two if not better.” The optimism was evident in her voice.

“The second book hasn’t even come out yet, Eve.”

“I know. But I also know that it’s going to be an amazing book.” There was a smile that graced your lips, you hadn’t quite made it over to Joe’s table but he could see it form in the distance and it brightened his day up a little more.

“Yeah, you think so?” Even though you had been officially published for 2 years it still didn’t quite feel real. You had a hard time accepting the fact that people actually liked your book, and that they were excited for the next book to come out in 3 months.

“Ugh yeah, I know so!”

“What would I do without you as my best friend?” It was a running joke between the two of you but it never got old no matter how many times it had been said or used between the both of you.

“Pfft, I don’t know, maybe lose your mind.”

You playfully rolled your eyes, and soon enough the two of you were falling into a comfortable silence as you waited. As the two of you got closer to Joseph Quinn’s booth the quicker Everly got more excited to meet the actor. While she was having a momentary freak out before meeting him, you were having a momentary freak out about all the possible outcomes of running into your parents or your sister. This is the last thing you wanted to deal with. But then you got onto that path of what if they were here.

“You okay?” Everly questioned, seeing the change in look on your face switch from happiness to fear in the matter of seconds.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking is all.” You were honestly being cryptic when you said that, you didn’t want her to know what you were actually thinking about.

“Are you going to see your parents and sister while you’re down here?” But clearly even being cryptic was enough for Everly to pick up on the fact that you were thinking about them when you didn’t want to be.

“Nope.” You popped the ‘P’ as you answered the first of her many interrogation questions.

“Why not? You can’t be mad at them forever.”

“Uh yes I can and I will.”

“Look, did you actually sleep with your sister’s boyfriend?” Everly asked, sometimes you believed that Everly believed your sister more than she believed you.

“Who’s side are you even on, Eve?”

“I’m on yours, but come on, if you didn’t sleep with your sister’s boyfriend then why can’t you be the bigger person and just forgive them. I’m sure they miss you.”

This prompted a dry laugh to fall from the back of your throat. “Right, they miss me so much that they’ve made an effort to call me and ask me to come see them. Instead of having my back they believe that I of all people would sleep with my sister’s ugly and toxic ass boyfriend whom she still happens to be with. I don’t think there’s a chance to salvage the relationship even if I want to. She didn’t want to believe me and my parents, they just stood there and watched it all crumble. Not to mention that none of them were by my side and I had to relearn how to walk again. I can’t go back there, I can’t.”

Everly could see the pain in your eyes, even though Joe didn’t mean to look he could see the way your eyes look. Suddenly he had this need to protect you from whatever horrors surrounded you. Everly could see how much it killed you to not have parents to talk to, to not have a relationship with your sister anymore.

But Everly wasn’t going to back down from getting you to see them. Everly’s parents kept in touch with your parents and from what they had told Everly, your mother wasn’t doing so well. Your best friend didn’t want you to miss out on not having a relationship with your family before it was too late. If only you knew what chaos would be coming your way.

“Just see them one time, please. It can be your dad, your mom, or even your sister. You don’t have to see them all together at the same time.”

“Can I think about it?” You eyed her hoping that she would just drop it, but you knew Everly this topic was something she would never drop. You saw the way that she wanted you to have a relationship with your family.

“When are you leaving?”

“Few days.”

“Great, we’ll go see your mom tomorrow.”

“Fine.” You released a grunt knowing that you wouldn’t be able to get past how pushy your best friend was. She smiled triumphantly while you looked like you had just lost the world cup. “You and August should move to Manchester.”

Shock replaced that smile on her face as she stared at you. “I couldn’t do that, we couldn’t do that. We have a life here, my parents are here.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I just thought it would be a cool idea. To be able to see you and August every day rather than once a year or something like that.”

Everly thought about your statement for a moment, she clicked her tongue. “Tell you what, I’ll talk to August about it tonight when we get home. Because believe me I would love nothing more than to be closer to my best friend. And honestly I think August and I could use a change of scenery. And maybe get a break from her parents.

“They still giving you two issues?” You asked.

“Her mother has been more open to the idea of us but her dad is still against us and trying everything in his power to get her to come home and go to church with them. I know she wants her parents in her life but she can’t put herself through that pain anymore. We’ve been talking about it for a while now so maybe she’ll be open to the idea of moving.”

“Maybe a chance will be good. But I don’t want you two to force yourselves to move to Manchester.

Everly gave a small nod of her head. “I know, but if we move over there it isn’t going to be because you forced it or we forced it, it'll be because we wanted it.”

You released a sigh and smiled at Everly as she smiled back at you. Your eyes eventually wandered around the building, sometimes falling onto Joseph Quinn. He would even return your gaze.

“I think Augie and I could use a change of scenery, I really do.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, but I will still talk to Augie about it and see what’s on her mind.”

“Okay, great. Just let me know what you both decide on.”

“I will.”

The two of you stopped talking just as you both came up to Joseph’s table. He sent a bright warm smile towards the both of you. However for the most part his warm brown eyes seemed to drift back to you, while Everly whispered her name to him so he could sign the post she had. Somehow your parents and sister made their way back into your mind. You were honestly worried that they would find out that you were back home.

You weren’t even picking up on the fact that Joseph had been staring at you. It wasn’t until Everly nudged her elbow into your side that you took notice of his eyes on you. You felt your face heating up and you tried to look away but you kept wanting to look back at him.You wanted to spend your days just staring into his eyes.

“I’m sorry, what happened?” You asked, the confusion evident on your face. He looked back at Everly who was staring at you then at him.

“Sorry, she zones out sometimes.” Everly mentioned.

He smiled at you, “do you want anything sighed, love?” His voice was so sweet and music to your ears that you really wanted to hear his voice forever.

“Oh, I’m only here for moral support since her girlfriend couldn’t be here.” You muttered looking anywhere but the man that sat in front of you. He started talking to you, but you felt too panicked to hear or say anything else. “Actually, I’m gonna head to the bathroom and then I’ll meet you outside when you’re finished. Take your time, Eve.”

Before she had a chance to reply to you, you had already left the area and were headed towards the bathroom. Everly turned back towards the actor as he stared at her.

“Sorry about her. She’s not really a fan of being back here. Honestly, I think she’s ready to head back to Manchester. Being home just brings back some bad memories. Anyway, thanks for this.”

He gave a nod of his head and watched Everly exit out of the line. After going to the bathroom you pushed through the front doors and walked over to the side of the building, and sat down at the tables. Pulling out your phone you unlocked it and went to your gallery, pulling up some old photos with your sister and your parents.

Maybe Everly was right, maybe you should be the bigger person and apologize for everything that happened. But you still felt that you shouldn’t be the one to apologize, that it should be your sister and your parents as you had done nothing wrong. As of right now Everly’s family was the only family you had but even then you still felt like a burden to them.

“Mind if I join you?” A voice questioned from behind you. You were startled, placing a hand over your chest. When you looked behind you, there stood Joseph Quinn, a cigarette between his fingers and his security guard not far from the two of you but still far enough that he probably couldn’t hear the conversation.

“Sure, why not.” You turned back towards the phone and continued to wipe through the pictures.

“Is that your family?” He asked.

You looked at him from the corner of your eyes before you gave him a confirming nod of your head. “Yeah, that’s my parents and my sister.” You paused then proceeded to tell him your name.

“You already know mine, but please call me Joe.” The two of you shook hands, and you couldn’t help the smile that washed over your face. That was the first time you and Joe had met and you remembered it like it was yesterday.

───── ❝ ◂ ❚ ⊱ꕥ⊰ ❚ ▸ ❞ ─────

The world seemed to burn brighter when you and Joe started talking more outside the con that you met at. He made you feel something you didn’t think you could possibly ever feel. You hadn’t felt this loved in a long time, not since the events that transpired with your family. Today happened to be a somewhat difficult day for you. Everly and August had come over today and had taken notice of the way you had been acting.

It was your birthday and it had always been a struggle every year to never be able to talk to your parents or your sister when you turned another year older. Even though you had gone to see your mom like you had told Everly you would, there seemed to be no change in the way she acted towards you. Everly had texted Joe to let him know that you weren’t exactly in the greatest mood today.

You had spent most of the day in your office planning out your next book in the series. Your second book had been published and was doing amazing. Fans were expecting the next book in the series and honestly you were excited to get back into the process of writing. There was a knock on your door but you were too in the zone to even acknowledge the knock.

Joe had his hand on the door knob as he slowly opened the door. He knew it was your birthday but he had been warned by you, Everly, and August that you didn’t like to celebrate it anymore.

“Love?” He called out, you heard him and gave a soft “hmm” as you continued to type the words down on your laptop. He opened the door a little more and walked in. After closing the door to give you both the privacy that you knew you’d need, you finished typing the last sentence then looked up at your boyfriend. “How are you feelin’?”

“I’m fine, baby.” Joe could hear the irritation in your voice, but it dropped when you said “baby”. His brown eyes were soft as he walked over to you and sat on the edge of your desk. Joe grasped a hold of your hands pulling them away from your laptop and holding them in his.

“You don’t sound fine, my love.” You hated how well he knew more about your emotions than you did sometimes. “What’s been going on in that head of yours?”

You exhaled and dropped your head resting it on his thigh. He released one of your hands and with his now free hand it fell into your hair and rested on top of your head. “My dad called, he left a voicemail but I haven’t listened to it.” You hesitated before saying the next set of words. “I’m scared.”

Joe understood that you had an estranged relationship with your parents and sister, he knew everything about what had happened. You had told him how you often felt that you should just go back and apologize even though you didn’t do anything. You still carried that with you even now, all these years later. It was part of the reason why he hadn’t pushed you into meeting his parents and the rest of his family.

He knew it was a big step for you and you’d do it when you were ready. They were already so excited to meet you in person but they understood that you weren’t ready. You had talked to them a few times over the phone when Joe was having a conversation but other than that nothing further has happened. You didn’t think you’d be ready to meet them in person until you fixed what happened between you and your family. Joe gently moved his hand through your hair, his touch comforting you in your time of need.

“Do you want to listen to it while I’m here with you?”

He kept his gaze soft as you lifted your head to stare back at home with slightly glazed eyes. Any moment you felt like you would start crying, those glazed eyes would turn into actual tears that would stain your face. But you need to be strong for yourself. Everly and August sat in the living room waiting and hoping that Joe would be able to get through to you. Your boyfriend pulled you over to the couch and you sat down next to each other.

You were staring down at it, not moving to unlock it. “Take all the time you need. You don’t need to rush it.” You don’t know what you did to deserve Joe, you really didn’t. You knew deep down that you weren’t meant to be with him forever but you were so thankful he had come into your life when he did.

“I don’t wanna do this alone anymore.” You whispered softly as the tears started to trickle down your cheeks, eventually coming to the edge of your chin. Some fell down your neck, while a few managed to fall onto your pants. You looked away from Joe, not able to stare at him, afraid that he would get up and walk out of this room out of the apartment and out of your life for good.

“Hey, look at me, darlin’.” Joe’s voice was calm all things considered. You slowly turned back to look at him. His face was soft, nothing about his posture indicated that he was going to leave you but you still didn’t want to believe it.

“You don’t have to do this alone anymore. I am here, and I don’t plan on leaving you behind.” He stopped himself, he wanted to say those three words that you two had been dancing around for the last few months. But he wasn’t sure if it was the right time for it.

“Just tell her already for crying out loud!” Everly shouted out.

You looked at him in confusion as you wiped the tears away from your face. “Tell me what?” You asked.

Joe hesitated for a few seconds, “I-I love you. I’ve loved you from the very moment I saw you at the con with Everly. And I don’t plan to stop loving you.” Joe leaned towards you, his nose grazing yours.

“I love you too.” You smiled softly at him. You and Joe laughed when you heard Everly and August scream in joy at the words that had now fallen from both your lips.

“It’s about damn time!” Everly shouted.

“Leave them be, Eve.” August’s voice was almost a whisper as she talked to her girlfriend but you and Joe could still hear her.

You looked down at your unlocked phone, then looked back at Joe. “I’m ready.” Joe nodded his head, you pulled up the voicemail, then you hit play on the most recent message that was from your dad.

“Hi, sweets, I know it's uh… been a while since we talked to you and before I get to the main reason I’m calling you, I need you to know that we are so sorry. We should’ve been there to help you recover and that wasn’t fair to you.” There was a pause on your father’s end and you could hear someone else talking to him, it could either be your mom or your sister. “I didn’t want to tell you this especially on your birthday, I need you to come home for a few days, maybe longer. You can bring anyone you want but it’s not under the best circumstances. So please call me when you get this. I love you so much, and happy birthday, angel.” The voicemail stopped, but you were aching to know what he was talking about.

You quickly moved your fingers around to call your dad back. “I’m going to call him back, I mean that’s the right way to go, right?” You looked at Joe, your voice hesitant as you asked the question.

“You do what you think you need to do, love. But I think you already know what you want to do.”

Your finger hung over your dad’s contact name. You were hesitating to say the least but you knew it was something you had to do, Joe was right about that. You closed your eyes for a brief moment going over all the possible outcomes of what your father could possibly want to tell you. Did something happen to him, was he okay? Did something happen to your sister, or your mother? Or someone else on your side of the family. The list was endless. You finally pressed the call button and placed it on speaker so Joe could listen in as well. After the first line rang your father’s voice crashed to your ears.

“Hi, dad.” Your voice was quiet, and panic was running through it. This was the first contact you had with him in a few years.

“Sweets, thank god you called back. I need you to come home, okay?” You could hear the sadness in his voice, which truly meant that something had happened.

“Why? What’s happened?”

“It’s your mom. She uh… passed away last night.” Your father started to break down. The phone fell from your hand and Joe was quick to catch it. He set it on the table, then he turned back towards you and pulled you into his embrace as a sob ripped through your throat. Everly and August were now standing at the door, eyes on you as you and your father both cried.

“How did it happen?” Everly asked for you, knowing very well that would be your next question.

“It was a car accident.” A new voice ran through your ears, it was your sister. No shock she was there with your dad being the strong one. Or at least trying to be. Joe held onto you tighter, his chin resting on top of your head as you rested your head on his chest and cried into it.

“I’ll be home on the next flight.” You spoke through tears.

───── ❝ ◂ ❚ ⊱ꕥ⊰ ❚ ▸ ❞ ─────

He was there for you every moment, never once leaving your side while you grieved the loss of your mother with your father and sister. It was a beautiful day on the day of your mothers funeral, laying her to rest on a day such as this made it hurt slightly less. The entire time the pastor had been talking you were stuck in your head thinking about all the times you had ignored phone calls from your mother. If you had just picked up and said hello maybe you could’ve had a better relationship with her, now you know you’ll never get the chance to build one with her again.

You hadn’t talked much since you, Joe, Everly, and August arrived back home. This had been the first time Joe had been here that wasn’t for a con and it was so different being here under these circumstances. Everly was worried to high heaven about you and August was worrying about her worrying about you. The two knew how you could get when you felt like you were drowning in the water.

Your head rested on Joe’s shoulder as tears fell down your face. Everly was holding onto your free hand, it was a tight grip one that allowed you to stay grounded. But Joe was really holding you there. He had been there to be a shoulder to cry on since you had found out about the news of your mother, you realized in this moment, this exact moment that he could be the person you could fall into when something was going on and you didn’t want to let that go.

You looked around at the people that were there, that knew your mother. But your eyes landed on your sister. You wanted to say she was glaring at you, but she wasn’t. She was looking at you with a look of sympathy on her face and a smudge of regret. But it disappeared when she noticed you staring at her. You pulled your eyes away from her and looked back towards the casket.

“I’m gonna go talk to my sister after this.” You whispered, but loud enough for Everly and Joe to hear you. The two exchanged a look with each other before their eyes fell onto you.

“Are you sure? Do you want one of us to come with you?” Everly asked.

“Yes, I’m sure. And no, I need to talk to her alone. It’d be better that way anyway.”

Joe placed a kiss on your hair, “whatever you need to do, love, we’ll be here waiting for you.” His sweet words made your heart thump loudly in your chest. You still weren’t sure how you’d gotten lucky with him, but you were so happy to have him in your life, happier than you had been in a long time.

As your mother’s casket started to go down in her grave everyone started to disperse, they would be heading back to your parents house for a little get together. Something your mother always loved doing. She had always loved having people in her home, she wanted everyone who stepped foot in her house to feel loved. Though it felt differently when she had blindsided you by taking your sister’s side.

You separated yourself from Joe, Everly, and August and walked over to your sister. Her boyfriend, the one you had been accused of sleeping with was standing next to her. Your father was talking to one of your mother’s brother and sister. You walked past the three of them coming to a stop in front of your sister and her boyfriend.

“Hi, Juni.” You said, remaining calm even though you wanted to scream at her for what she had done.

“Please, don’t call me that.” Juniper said, glaring daggers at you.

“Right, sorry.” You winced after the word left your lips.

“Can you give a few minutes to talk alone, please?” Juniper questioned her boyfriend. He looked between the two of you and gave a nod of his head. He placed a kiss on Mallory’s hair and walked away from them joining your father, Uncle and Aunt.

“How are you doing, Juniper?” Joe watched from afar, your hands behind your back as you tried to stay calm.

“I’m okay, what about you?”

“Yeah, I’m doing as good as I could be. Did you get to say goodbye to mom?”

“No I didn’t, we had an argument before she left.” You didn’t like where this was going, not one bit. “Mom, she knew that you knew she was dying but for some reason she wanted to spend whatever time left she had with you because she missed you. And I told her that she didn’t need to go. It’s your fault mom is dead, just like that car accident was your fault.”

You shook your head, the tears falling down your face again. “No, what happened to mom wasn’t my fault. And that car accident wasn’t mine, you were the one driving, not me, I just wanted to get you away from everyone so I could convince you that I didn’t sleep with your boyfriend. If we hadn’t even gone out that night…”

“What? You would’ve slept with my boyfriend some more?” Joe stepped forward ready to run to you but Everly and August both grabbed a hold of his arm stopping him before he could go.

“I didn’t sleep with him, Juniper. He’s a fucking pig for crying out loud and the fact that you’re still with him, well that’s on you. Not me, as for the car accident, you can blame me all you want but you weren’t the one who had to stay in the car and wait for rescue to get you out, you weren’t the one who had to spend months learning how to walk again. You weren’t the one who didn’t have her family in her corner because her sister somehow convinced their mother and father that I was the slut.”

Everyone was staring at you now, but you didn’t care you needed this to come out. You needed to move on and you felt this was the only way you could possibly do so.

“I-I’m sorry.” Your sister whispered looking down at the ground.

You scoffed. “If you were sorry, you would’ve told mom and dad the truth, you would’ve told them that your best friend was the one who slept with your boyfriend, not me. And the fact that you knew but chose to put the blame on me then refused to fix it when I was trying everything. Yeah some sister you are. And you have no right to blame me for mom’s accident, it’s not my fault that she wanted to come see me.” You turned away and started to walk away from your sister. She had tears in her eyes as she followed after you.

“Please, don’t do this.”

“Don’t do what? You hurt me, in more ways than one. You did, me walking away is something you could’ve avoided if you just fucking listened to me. If you had just let me explain myself better to mom and dad. You didn’t even give me a chance Juni. I was just left as bait for the sharks.” You went to turn away but then you stopped in your tracks and turned back towards your sister. “I don’t ever want you to contact me again.”

You held yourself up high, your dad was begging you to not do this but you had to. When you made it to Joe you collapsed into his arms. He caught you and turned around with you walking back towards the car.

“Let’s get you home love.” You nodded your head, Everly and August followed right behind you. After that day you never saw your sister, your father had contacted you a few days later to apologize and you told him that when you were ready you’d talk to your sister.

When you and Joe got married you had called your sister and she had apologized to you for everything that had happened. You discovered that after you had left the funeral she had broken up with her boyfriend and told dad what had actually happened. You accepted her apology but told her that she would have to earn her trust again. But you wanted her at your wedding so for the day you would set everything aside so she could be there. Joe was there even when you didn’t want him to be there.

And even now you couldn’t be more thankful to have him in your life, to be able to call him your husband and the father of your children. Whenever you needed to fall into Joe, he was there for you just like you were for him. Your sister and her husband were visiting you and Joe, Everly and August were over as well, they had brought their daughter with them to have a little playdate with your son. You sat in the room watching the kids play, making sure they got along. Your hand rested on top of your baby bump, a smile on your lips.

Joe stood at the door watching you, seeing you glowing. He stepped into the room and placed his hand on top of yours. “How are my girls doing?” He asked, you turned your head to him, your smile growing bigger.

“We’re doing good. How’s everyone else?” You asked.

“Good, you’re dad’s here now. So your sister is ready to share her surprise with everyone.”

“Well, almost everyone. She told me what it was. Can you help me up?” You asked. Joe nodded his head, stood up, his hands fit into yours. He pulled you up and closed the space between the two of you, his lips fell onto yours and you kissed him back.

“Ew, mommy, daddy, stop.” Your son cried out, the two of you laughed and you looked at the children still in the room.

“Come on you two, Auntie Juni has something she wants to share with everyone.” Joe called out holding his hands out to the kids. You watched Joe pick the two up and walk out of the room. You followed behind him heading back into the living room. Juni grabbed a hold of your hand and pulled you to the side.

“I can’t do this.” Juni whispered, staring at you with panicked blue eyes.

“It’s okay Juni, you’re gonna be okay. You got this. I’ll be right next to you when you tell them.” You smiled brightly at your sister. There were two things she would be telling everyone, but only one of them you knew about because she had gone to you in her time of need. Juni looked back at you after the two of you had walked to the center of the room. You smiled at her and gave a nod. Your eyes found Joe, your son was sitting in his lap, the cutest sight you could ever say.

“So first order of business.” Juni said, looking at everyone. Her eyes found the man she had fallen in love with. “Josh and I eloped, we just thought it was best for the two of us.” Shock and happiness washed through everyone, they all smiled and cheered at the news.

“We will be having a small ceremony though for everyone since you couldn’t get a wedding.” Josh mentioned.

“Onto the next order of business. I uh, I’ve been keeping this secret from everyone because I was scared. I didn’t think I was cut out for this next part of my life, but having Josh in it and all of you, I know I can do this.” Juni looked back at you again, you walked up to her and grabbed a hold of her hand holding it in yours. “I’m pregnant.” Juni said excitedly. You wrapped your arm around your sister, a bubbly smile on your face.

Joe had seen you happy a handful of times, at your wedding, when you found out you were pregnant with your son, when you gave birth to your son, when you found out you were pregnant again, and now standing with your sister as she told everyone the happy news. You stepped away from your sister and walked over to Joe sitting down next to him. Your son climbed out of his dad’s lap and ran over to his Aunt and Uncle.

“Thank you.” You whispered, grabbing a hold of Joe’s hand and pulling it up to your lips to kiss it.

“For what, darling?” Joe asked as he leaned back and wrapped an arm around you.

You moved back into his chest and allowed your head to fall into his neck. “For allowing me to fall into you when I needed an anchor.”

“I’d do it over and over again if it meant you’re happy. I love you.” He placed a kiss on your hair.

“I love you too!” The two of you watched from the couch as everyone laughed and talked about the news of two new babies that would be joining the family.

[duckapus]

SMG4 AU Idea: Adventure Time With Meggy and Boopkins

Takes place in a post-Mario-series universe where the world was once again invaded by the Shroobs, and the resulting war led to an apocalypse that decimated both sides. Nearly every civilization fell to ruin, Shroob waste spread all over causing illness and rapid mutation, the heroes of the world all either died, went missing, or worse, a wide assortment of ancient evils were unleashed or reborn all across the globe, and the very rules of Magic were rewritten.

Fast forward a thousand or so years later and we're introduced to Meggy the Human and her younger brother Boopkins the Fish, who've just left their hometown of Port Aurora to become Adventurers on the mainland. They're a bit odd even by the standards of their bizarre world, since humans are believed to have been extinct for centuries, Boopkins has incredible shapeshifting powers, and their dad Joe and aunt Lily are 50-foot-tall ancient guardians of the sea.

One of the first places they end up on their journey is the Mushroom Kingdom, which is currently in a bit of a bind. The Mushroom people's ruler, Princess Apricot Toadstool, has been kidnapped by the evil Fire Lord and his army of monkeys. The Mushroom people would rescue her themselves, but they're not exactly...competent. Well, except for Guard Captain Shroomy, but if both he and Apricot are gone while the Mushrooms are already this wound up the whole kingdom will collapse in about three days. So, First Adventure Time!

After some traveling they get to the volcanic region where Fire Lord's home is and fight their way through the monkey army, and Fire Lord's demonic right-hand minion Saiko, to the Princess...es. Apparently Fire Lord has a whole Thing about princesses and there's a dozen or so in there. One of them is Bob the Thief Princess, who is a guy because there's no rule that says a princess can't be a dude. And if there is one he'll break it because he loves breaking rules.

Anyway, Apricot's with Fire Lord instead of with the other princesses, so Meggy, Boopkins and the princesses storm further into the fortress and find them.

And if you're even slightly familiar with Adventure Time you know just what kind of goofy pathetic nutcase they end up finding. Though Fire Lord is red instead of Ice King's blue, has a jeweled bracelet instead of a crown, and has the additions of incredible jumping abilities and an addiction to spaghetti.

Anyway, there's a big fight (where Apricot ends up with a massive axe somehow and decides she's never letting it go. Yes I'm repurposing Wapeach because It's My House), the good guys win, everyone goes home.

Afterwards, Apricot declares Meggy and Boopkins heroes of the Mushroom Kingdom, and offers to let them stay in her castle, but they decline since they saw a big hollow tree on the way back that they can turn into a Fresh home base.

Of course, when they move in they find out that the place is already occupied by a little camera robot named SuperMemeGenerator4, but he's excited to have some new roommates so it's not a big deal. Also Bob decides to live there too for some reason.

So there's the introduction, now some explanations:

Yes, Fire Lord is (or at least was) Mario. The bracelet he's wearing is basically a fire version of the Ice Crown. I went with him both so he could be a major character despite how long the timeskip is and as a nod to what becoming the Avatar did to him in SMG4 canon. His version of Gunther the Penguin is a monkey in a green vest named Terence. I haven't fully decided why Saiko works for him but I'm thinking it's some sort of Life Debt thing like Han and Chewey in Star Wars.

Since the Shroobs are mushroom aliens the war that ended the world is still called the Great Mushroom War.

Lily's entire backstory is still the same, except the apocalypse and the absence of the Crew means she got found and taken in by Diana, And has very clearly taken up her mantle.

Apart from Fire Lord, Lily, and a few other obvious cases, everybody has their canon ages and personalities. So Meggy and Boopkins ages are swapped from Finn and Jake's, and Apricot is a kid and a very different sort of person from Bubblegum.

Due to that and some other differences, (some obvious, others less so) this AU wouldn't really follow the same story beats as the show.

Melony ends up in Marceline's place in terms of her relationship with Mario/Fire Lord.

Most of the iconic Mario Species are either extinct or mutated/evolved almost beyond recognition, with Boos and Piranha Plants as notable exceptions, and Goombas as a prime example due to now being big pack-hunting apex predators instead of sapient footstools.

Apricot is actually Mario and Peach's however-many-greats granddaughter, and neither her nor Fire Lord are consciously aware of that connection. Apricot because the Apocalypse making it hard to map out family lines that far and Fire Lord because he doesn't remember that he's Mario and wasn't aware before All That that Peach was pregnant. Also, Apricot isn't considered human due to a mix of mutations during the apocalypse, interspecies relationships, and the fact that I'm convinced that Peach is half-Toad already (both here and in actual Mario canon). It'll be more obvious that she's not human if I ever draw her.

When SMG3 and Tari get introduced it's going to be as the previous iteration of SMG4's design and as an Android created by the same scientist who built the two of them.

Also, Luigi will eventually get introduced by way of accidentally falling through a one-way time portal, getting sent from E. Gadd's Lab before the War to the story's present day somewhere in the wilderness. His absence was actually a major contributing factor to everything going so horribly wrong. Also since he's Luigi and not Betty, and since the dynamic between twin brothers and fiancés is obviously very different, he's going to have a different reaction to Fire Lord than Betty had to Ice King.

[aristidetwain]

Jenny and the Gang: An Interview With Joe Macaré & Nelson Evergreen

Today, October 24th, 2023, marks the 21st anniversary of Name’s Not Down, commonly regarded as the first completed Jenny Everywhere comic story. The work of Joe Macaré and Nelson Evergreen, it was formally released into the public domain on Jenny Everywhere Day last year alongside its sequel, Damn Fine Hostile Takeover, at my own instigation.

Having managed to track down both of these highly esteemed creators — long since departed from the Jenny Everywhere community — it was then my duty and my very great pleasure to conduct the first-ever joint Jenny-centric interview of two of the honoured few who shaped the character in her infancy.

Goggles on! Shift to Interviewspace in three… two… one…

How would you introduce yourselves to Jenny Everywhere readers?

Joe: My name is Joe Macaré (he/him), and I was raised in the Midlands (UK) and now live in the Midwest (US). I work in fundraising and communications, currently for a LGBT+ rights advocacy organization.

Nelson: I’m Neil Evans, a Welsh illustrator and comic artist occasionally going by the pseudonym Nelson Evergreen. I moved back to my hometown of Wrexham, North Wales in 2017, after twenty merry years in Brighton on the south coast of England. Illustration work this year includes a version of George Orwell’s 1984 (Oxford University Press), an anthology of weird — and often terrifying — Christmas folklore from around the globe (Cider Mill Press) and a 72 page graphic novel detailing the life of Mamie Phipps Clarke, the psychologist and activist whose research with her husband Kenneth was key to the abolition of racial segregation in US schools (Magination Press).  Between jobs I’m busy with various ongoing personal labours of love, a couple of which are, after years of agonisingly glacial/troubled development, tantalisingly close to shareable. You can find me at neil-evans.net!

How did you originally learn about Jenny, and what led to your creating full comics starring the character? If those are different questions, what did you/do you like about the character — was it the open-source nature of the project? The appeal of Jenny herself as a protagonist? Something else?

J: I was active on the Barbelith message board from 2000-200something; closer to the truth to say that around the time Jenny Everywhere was created I was deeply, deeply enmeshed on that forum and in that community. It was my first internet “home” and so it’s probably accurate to say that I was initially drawn to the character because it was a Barbelith creative project and therefore something I wanted to be a part of.  But also, when Steven “Moriarty” Wintle drew that first sketch, it definitely popped. Jenny, especially with the paragraph description attached, seemed like someone I knew, or someone I would like to know. An idealized avatar in some ways, but a plausible person in others.

N: I found Barbelith not long after I began “boxsetting” The Invisibles (very belatedly, it was close to the end of the comic’s run), and got quite addicted to the forum. It was a good place.  I’d been messing about making music in bands for a few years, neglecting the illustration/comic side of things, and wanted to get back into drawing… and Barbelith happened to have lots of folk who were very good with words. So I posted a few pieces of work and asked if anyone had any comic scripts they wanted drawn, and I’m guessing Moriarty/Steven’s Jenny thread must have appeared at around that time or very shortly after..? Joe and I had certainly already touched on the idea of working together, so when Jenny appeared I think we just took it as read that that was “the one”.  With Jenny, the initial appeal for me was the very unique nature of her potential: the dozens/hundreds/thousands of different ways the character could go, depending on who’s working with her. Also, I’m generally quite content in my own company - god knows, you have to be when you’re illustrating comics - but I loved the online hubbub around her at that time. There was something really… *cosy* about knowing others were working on their own versions of this character. So that was another huge part of the appeal, that sense of community.

Even though the multiversal gimmick is one of the first things people hear about Jenny, neither Name's Not Down nor Damn Fine Hostile Takeover make any direct reference to it. Was this a conscious choice, and if so, what motivated it?

J: For my part it was a conscious choice and it had a lot to do with the kind of comics I was reading at the time and being influenced by. At the time, complicated continuities and parallel universes seemed like slightly embarrassing excesses that characterized Marvel/DC superhero comics. They were prog rock, and were being challenged by a new wave of what Oni Press called “real mainstream” indie comics. Punchy, punky, often black & white, and very self-consciously influenced more by movies, TV, and music than by superhero comics. You could put fantastical elements in there but nothing that demanded a long explanation. Now, not only did the idea of making comics without multiverses become the mainstream, so that they were more like movies and TV, turn out to be onto a losing proposition and *the exact opposite of what happened,* for better or worse, but half the star writers and comics “thinkers” of the time later turned out to be predatory creeps. Whoops! But at the time, this was the cultural scene that shaped what I wanted to write. A comic you wouldn’t be embarrassed to be seen reading at the zine fair or dance party. Of course, goody nerd that I’ve always been, I couldn’t help but include Smallville references, so any attempt to be consciously cool was always somewhat doomed.

Were there any interesting, non-obvious inspirations or references baked into these stories, that you'd like to share? 

J: Oh god, sometimes I think those scripts were nothing *but* references and it’s quite possible I’ve forgotten some of them now. I mean I’d be very embarrassed by all the Smallville references were it not for the fact that I remember that in the UK, the show was aired in the Sunday morning block which made it perfect hangover television.  Clea was named after Clea Duvall. Bradley was named the somewhat obscure 2000 AD character. I think the most obscure influence/reference is having the character Lex, who considers himself a charmer, always introduce himself by saying “Greetings!” That’s a reference to eldest son Joey in the late 1980s BBC comedy series, Bread. That one was probably only noticed by other British people my age who grew up relating greatly to a show about a working class family with an absent father who constantly worried about money. The television I watched as a kid also led to me choosing Apollo Coffee as the name of the Starbucks stand-in, Starbuck and Apollo being a reference to the original Battlestar Galactica (the reboot had not yet come along!). “Damn Fine Hostile Takeover” is obviously extremely far from a serious piece of political polemic, but I do remember consciously wanting to introduce at least a small flavor of agitprop, compared to “Name’s Not Down” which is mostly just a power fantasy about beating up needlessly aggressive doormen to get into a club. The early political “analysis” I had at the time, which didn’t go much beyond big corporate chains being bad and small local independent coffee shops being good, was obviously influenced by stuff like Naomi Klein’s No Logo. And a sort of bastardized pop culture version of that, that had showed up in things like Grant Morrison’s Marvel Boy. Oh, and a misunderstood El-P lyric. Speaking of Morrison, as befits a character created on Barbelith, that approach of “shove in references to everything you’re inspired by, watching, reading, or listening to at the particular moment you’re writing the comic” was very much inspired by Morrison in general and The Invisibles in particular. Although the Morrison comic I was most trying to emulate, at least in “Name’s Not Down” was Kill Your Boyfriend. But also, the whole reason I set those comics in a thinly fictionalized version of Brighton is because at the time, I was living in London and knew a bunch of people in Brighton (again, many of them through Barbelith, or adjacent to people I’d met via that place). They all seemed very impressive and cool to me at the time: people who put on club nights (It Came From The Sea), wrote about music (Careless Talk Costs Lives / Plan B), or on whom I just had a really big crush. I would take the train down to Brighton many weekends and it loomed large in my imagination. Although there’s no evidence of this on Google, I did not invent calling it “Right-On”: that’s another thing I stole or borrowed and can’t remember from whom or where.

How detailed were the scripts/how much freedom was there on the art end of things? Did you start from a synopsis, or a script, or a storyboard? Are there any notable ways in which the finished works differed from the original outline?

N: I can’t refer to them because I lost my copies in a hard drive calamity a couple of years later, but I remember being struck by how full of gusto and enthusiasm Joe’s scripts were. They really got me fired up to draw. The stage directions had the same infectious energy as the dialogue. I get some quite perfunctory scripts in my line of work — and that’s fine — but I do appreciate the ones that go above and beyond.  I think I’m right in recalling the scripts as being very precise..? Joe had a very clear idea of the pacing, and how the story and gags would flow from panel to panel. The dialogue was all there from the start. I remember reading through and immediately getting a clear mental picture of how it was all going to look. It was very tightly scripted but not in a way that felt restrictive, it was very free and easy to illustrate. And it gave me plenty of leeway to come up with hordes of characters/creatures in those big ensemble panels.

J: I no longer have the scripts so I’m going from memory, but: I wrote pretty detailed scripts but I definitely had panels or entire pages where I encouraged Nelson Evergreen to cut loose and add whatever details and weird characters sprang to his mind. This is as good a place as any to state that I got phenomenally lucky when Nelson agreed to collaborate. Of all the artists who were kicking around Barbelith at the time and who were at all interested in the project, he was perhaps the most talented and I certainly can’t imagine anyone else who would have drawn those comics as well, or that they would have been received as warmly had they been drawn by anyone else.

A mysterious bald man makes conspicuous cameos in both of your long-form Jenny comics. What's the significance of this character? Some of us in the Jenny Everywhere Discord suggested he might have been meant to be Grant Morrison themself, owing to the focus of the forum on which Jenny originally appeared; short of that, we have no idea… 

N: I *think* he was my addition, but again, without having the scripts to hand, my memory may be playing tricks on me. I mean, he *looks* like the sort of thing I’d have thrown in! I’ve always enjoyed the sight of one lone person looking utterly severe/unimpressed in the midst of general merriment, and I’m guessing I improvised MBM in one panel, he made me laugh, so I put him in another, and then another. Dave, the keyboard player in my band at the time, had that exact t-shirt, with the “Guides” logo, which he wore all the bloody time, and that must have seemed to me like the perfect outfit. So yeah, just a silly little running visual thing I threw in off the cuff to amuse myself really. Looking back at if from a distance, he *does* look quite significant, doesn’t he? Sorry! I feel like a right troll. 

You've stated in the past that you included the Jenny Nowhere cliffhanger in Damn Fine Hostile Takeover without a conscious plan for what that story might be about — but did you ever have any plans for further Jenny stories that didn't materialise? If so, what were they about? And if you had to write the Nowhere story, what might it be like?

J: The only idea I remember from “The Two Jennys” was that Jenny Nowhere would have made her base of operations the Right-On version of the ruined West Pier (the real world version of which in Brighton is now even more skeletal and not practical for even the most doomer supervillain to use as a hideout). I think it would have culminated in a Quadrophenia-style beach brawl between each Jenny’s followers (Nowhere’s gang all being various black-clad kinds of goths, punks, and techno-nihilists, in contrast to Everywhere’s more brightly colored subcultures). But it’s been long enough now that I can confess that at various points I was working on two or three other ideas for follow-up stories.  One was entitled “Dance-Off 2004” (the year kept changing as it got delayed) and the concept speaks for itself. Then there was “You Say Derby! We Say Die!” which was not a reference to the town in the Midlands but rather to my interest in roller derby which peaked circa 2007-2009 or so (and was named after the band You Say Party). But the last time I was kicking an idea around, it was 2012 and I was already thinking about something with a very different tone that was based around the idea of the Jenny Everywhere “gang” reuniting after going their separate ways. Lex now runs a pub and is married (to Lois from the coffee shop) with two kids. Bradley made a fortune designing extremely blasphemous videogames. Clea is an academic in San Francisco. Everyone quit smoking. Those three aforementioned sequels that never got made would appear as flashback panels, a montage of sorts, unfinished comics repurposed as “lost/secret adventures.” The tone for this was once again stolen from a Grant Morrison comic, namely the “zzzzenith.com” one-off sequel to Zenith. Less a sequel, more a bittersweet look back at an era.

If you've kept up with more recent Jenny projects to one degree or another, what are your thoughts on them? 

N: I haven’t, but they’re on the ‘to do’ list.

If you had limitless time and budget for it, what would be your “dream” Jenny project?

N: Limitless time and budget…? Oooooh. Multiverse versions of the Right-On gang. Sci-fi stuff, cosmic stuff. Stuff that’s wild to draw. The same snappy feel and flow of the originals, but with extra helpings of the rainy melancholy Joe brought in at the close of Damn Fine Hostile Takeover. 

Do you think you'll ever return to the character? How differently would you approach it if you did?

N: Time permitting, absolutely. It was fun. 

J: Well, the gap in time since I last toyed with the idea of a nostalgic sequel comic is now longer than the original time period between the first comics and that one. And those years mean that I both feel more distance from my version of the character, and the supporting cast I gave her, but also more unqualified affection. I joked about embarrassment earlier but it’s actually been long enough now that I’ve passed through and out of the period where I found anything about it embarrassing. What I was writing reflects who I was at the time and also maybe a little of where the zeitgeist was: the violence is cartoony, there’s no consequences to it, and there’s what I would call a Bush-era assumption that going out and partying is in itself halfway to being some kind of act of resistance. For me those comics are a memento from a very specific time in my life, and if I wrote something about that particular Jenny Everywhere now, it would definitely be an older, wiser version. As a sober 45 year-old living in Chicago, Illinois, looking back at something I wrote when I was a heavy-drinking Londoner in his early 20s, it’s even more bittersweet and melancholy.  Jenny and the gang were supposed to be reminiscent of various friends of my own. Over the course of 20 years, you inevitably lose touch with people. You move far away physically (I relocated to a different continent!), you drift apart. And sometimes you fall out with people, and sometimes people die, both of which have happened to me. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Nila Gupta (rest in power) here, who was a big inspiration for my version of Jenny and for my general idea of a gang of cool anti-corporate people running amok in Right-On.  Losing people who used to be part of your life is individually tragic but it’s also the kind of experience you’re a lot more likely to have by the time you’re 45 than when you’re 23. If this answer sounds like it’s turning into a bummer, it shouldn’t entirely, because the flipside to that is you do develop some perspective, some better priorities, some sense of what you’re supposed to be doing with your life.

N: Oh Nila… ❤️ I had no idea your Jenny was inspired by them. That's beautiful. 

And that's all, folks! They'll be reading this over, so I want to thank Joe and Neil/Nelson again, both for helping to create a character who still means so much to so many of us, niche though she may be… and for taking the time to bring us these insightful, entertaining, and often moving glimpses into the mental world from which Jenny — at least their Jenny — first sprung.

Happy Jenniversary, and thanks for everything!

[twins2994]

Twins Split DH From Sox!

Twins 3 White Sox 2 W-Okert (3-0) L-Soroka (0-10) SV-Duran (14)

The Chicago White Sox picked up their first win over the Twins since last September to start the doubleheader today. Game 2 was later this afternoon at Guaranteed Rate Field. The White Sox struck first again as Lenyn Sosa lined a one-out single to right and Andrew Benintendi doubled him home. The Sox added on in the third when Martin Maldonado lined a Pablo Lopez curveball off the top of the left field wall and over for a solo homer. This put Chicago up by two after three innings of play. Meanwhile, Drew Thorpe threw five shutout innings before the Twins would start to figure him out in the sixth. Brooks Lee knocked a Drew Thorpe cutter out to right for a solo homer. Carlos Correa followed with a blast off a Thorpe change-up for a solo shot. The back-to-back homers tied the game at two. The Twins got back to work in the seventh as Byron Buxton dumped a bloop double to shallow right. Ryan Jeffers knocked him in with a single to left to put the Twins up by a run before the seventh inning stretch. Jorge Alcala put up a zero in the seventh and Griffin Jax had a scoreless eighth. Jhoan Duran had a 1-2-3 ninth and the Twins took the series from the Sox this week.

-Final Thoughts- Pablo Lopez did alright today. He went five innings and allowed two runs on four hits with a walk and five strikeouts. Steven Okert had a scoreless sixth, Jorge Alcala had a perfect seventh, and Griffin Jax had a clean eighth. Jhoan Duran fanned two in the ninth for the save. The Twins scattered five hits and hit 1-for-8 with runners in scoring position. They left seven men on base. The Twins will head out to San Francisco, where they will have an off day tomorrow. Joe Ryan will start against his hometown Giants tomorrow night.

-Chris Kreibich-

[frontproofmedia]

CATTERALL VS. LINARES + UNDERCARD PRESS CONFERENCE QUOTES

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Published: October 19, 2023

CATTERALL VS. LINARES + UNDERCARD PRESS CONFERENCE QUOTES

Eddie Hearn, Matchroom Sport Chairman:

“It’s a thrill to be back in this great city as part of an incredible run of events coming up to the end of 2023.

“Just yesterday we were in San Francisco for the press conference for Devin Haney vs. Regis Prograis and the WBC World Super-Lightweight Title, we cannot wait for that fight on December 9, but this week we’re here with what should be the undisputed World Champion against the ‘Brit Destroyer’ Jorge Linares, live on DAZN around the world with an incredible undercard too.”

Jack Catterall:

“The fact that Jorge has been over here a number of times means that fans here are familiar with him, thats helped to sell the fight. When I got the call and was told it was Jorge next, it kicked me into action, it’s an exciting name who has been there and got the t-shirt, he’s had his time in the sun and now it’s my time.

“It excited me that he’s back training with Ismael Salas, that’s made me train extra hard at home. I put pressure on myself, he’s been a three-time World Champion, I would never look past this fight or disrespect Jorge. I think he understands that the winner of this fight puts themselves in the picture for much bigger fights.

“I set out in this sport to be World Champion. We haven’t achieved that yet but I do believe I have the ability to do it. We’ve had conversations about a number of fights in the future but all of that means nothing without beating Jorge on Saturday.”

Jorge Linares:

“I have a lot of beautiful memories of fighting in England, in London with Kevin Mitchell and two times in Manchester with Anthony Crolla. This is a different time and opponent, I feel I am fighting an undefeated fighter, for me, Catterall is a World Champion, he didn’t lose the fight against Josh Taylor. 

“So this is a big night for me, I am close to retirement, I’m coming in great shape, better than the other times I’ve come to England, I feel like a 20 year old. I’m excited and super excited to be here. I don’t like talking too much, but I am excited to have a great fight with Jack.

“I’m coming off three losses but I don’t think about that, I know I’m in with a great fighter but I’ve been here before and have had a great camp.”

Peter McGrail:

“I’m made up to be in Liverpool in front of my family and hometown fans on a greta card. Fran is in my way to where I want to go, on paper he’s a step up, but he’s not going to be bringing anything to the table that I haven’t seen before.

“The better the opposition gets the better I will perform. He said he’s coming for war, the more he comes, the more he’ll get punished, so I am looking forward to it and I am ready.

“Over the next year or two I want to be selling out the Arena and winning a World Title there.”

Fran Mendoza:

“Everyone knows what I am coming here to do. I am a strong fighter and I am coming to have a tear-up on Saturday night.

“We come to take victory home with us and it will be a war to the very end.”

Aqib Fiaz:

“Ever since I started boxing I’ve dreamed of being in fights like this. I’m all about excitement as you’ve seen before, I love to have a fight, so does Reece, our styles will gel and it’ll be a good fight for the fans.

“I’ve put in a serious amount of work. Jack and I have trained together for this date, and we’ve been pushing each other in the gym. We’ve worked extremely hard so on Saturday you’ll see the best version of me and the best of Reece too.”

Reece Bellotti:

“It makes a change that I am actually the favourite in a fight for once! I’ve had a great camp, I’ve sparred loads of rounds with Joe Cordina, you can’t get better sparring than that so I’ve well prepared for this fight and I know it’s a big one.

“You need to tick a lot of boxes as a fighter, when you move to 12 rounds you need to do a hard 12 rounds, you’ve done well, adapted and put it towards your next fight.

“I’ve had a very hard camp so I am in very good shape. It’s not always about the power, you can’t always rely on it, it’s something that I’ve learned having these long fights and the experience, I can box and I can punch, and he’s got to deal with that on the night.”

Shabaz Masoud:

“Pressure makes diamonds. To be honest, he’s a good opponent and a step up, but I am treating this as just another fight. Each fight is a World Title for me.

“I’m just coming to do me, and as long as I do that, I know I will get the W.

“We’ve done amazing with tickets and I want to thank everyone that’s showed out, on Saturday, let’s go.”

Jose Sanmartin:

“Thank you for the opportunity, we come here to do what we do, we come here to do our work.

“MasoUd knows what I am coming for, we’re coming for war and the victory. He moves very well in the ring, but I think my experience will be too much for him.”

Khaleel Majid:

“This is the fight that everyone wanted, Tom has had plenty of notice for the fight, my fans want to see me in a step up fight and Tom is a great opponent for that.

“We’re not overlooking Tom, we know he’s a good fighter, the best I’ve been in with to date, so we’re covering all angles and on Saturday night we’ll put a major performance on.”

Tom Farrell:

“I’ve always had good support, especially when I come on these shows. It’s been about four years since I’ve been on one when I fought Masher Dodd, I’ve been a bit unlucky over the years and suffered some defeats, but I’m not finished yet. People are probably looking at me as a good scalp now, I’ve had a bit of an injury in my last fights and I hope that they are looking too much into that and looking past me as a stepping stone, because if they have, it’s a big mistake.

“I’ve done the 10 round and 12 round distance plenty of times, funnily enough, this is my first ever eight rounder, I went straight from sixes to 12’s, Khaleel has only done eight rounds once, so I think it is a big step up for him, and I am more than ready so I hope he is.”

 Campbell Hatton:

“It’s another good test and step up in opponent, and I think it’s going to bring the best out of me. I showed a different side of my game last time, used my jab a lot more and had more movement, showing that I can adapt my style. We’ve touched every base in camp and improved in every department so I want to show that again. 

“I’ve got confidence in my engine now and I’m a more mature fighter, I’m pacing things better and thinking about what I am doing. So I am ready for the bigger tests, moving onto longer fights and I think it will suit me the way I am starting to box a lot more. I know I can maintain it over the longer distance and I have done the eight rounds already. I’ve done a lot of my learning now, there’s still more to learn but I think we’re in a good position and we can start kicking on.”

Paddy Lacey:

“It’s a big test and step up for me. I’m made up to be on this bill with some of these great fighters around me, I forgive you Eddie for forgetting about me, I really can’t wait for Saturday.

“I’ve had ten fights in two years as a pro and I feel like I’ve been constantly improving as a fighter, going into 2024, I’d love to get the Central Area Title. That’s a ten rounder and Saturday we’ve got an eight rounder so that builds me up perfectly for that goal.”

Muhammad Ali:

“I’m looking forward to fighting in Liverpool and put on another show like I did last time. The more fights I have, the more the fanbase is building.”

William Crolla:

“It’s great to be back in action again. There’s more pictures of Jorge Linares in my Dad’s house than there is of me! 

“If I didn’t feel it, there was a lot of pressure on me on my debut, I think it showed in my performance and I wasn’t best pleased with it. Obviously I had to overcome a knockdown in that, but I believe on Saturday I’ll be a different fighter, with the work I’ve been putting in at the gym and sparring some of the best prospects, I think it’s all going to show on Saturday.”

Jack Turner:

“Not many people can sell 1000 tickets, I’m only a young lad but it’s not just me coming on Saturday, it’s me and my team, so I am coning to put on a statement showing and get the KO. I believe I will become a World Champion one day but I am not going to rush, we’ll take it step by step, but I will run through this division and show you all what I am made of.”

(Featured Photo: Mark Robinson/Matchroom Boxing)

[bongaboi]

Tennessee: 2022 Orange Bowl Champions

MIAMI GARDENS, Fla. — The sixth-ranked Tennessee Volunteers emphatically punctuated a memorable 2022 campaign on Friday night with a New Year's Six bowl victory, taking down No. 7 Clemson 31-14 in the Capital One Orange Bowl at Hard Rock Stadium.

In his second year at the helm of Tennessee football, head coach Josh Heupel guided the Vols (11-2) to their first 11-win season since 2001. Friday's result marked Tennessee's first victory in a "New Year's Six" bowl game (2014-pres.) and first win in the Orange Bowl since defeating Oklahoma in 1939.

Playing 80 miles from his hometown of Pahokee, Florida, quarterback Joe Milton III shined under the bright lights in his fourth start for the Vols. The redshirt senior completed 19-of-28 passes for 251 yards and a career-high tying three touchdowns with no interceptions, and he was named the 2022 Capital One Orange Bowl Most Valuable Player.

Sophomore running back Jaylen Wright led the Vols in the ground game with a game-high 89 yards on 11 carries, while junior Jabari Small toted 13 rushes for 38 yards and his 13th touchdown of the season. The Volunteer receiving corps was paced by freshman slot receiver Squirrel White who cracked the century mark for the second time this season, finishing with a season-high nine catches for 108 yards and a touchdown.

Tennessee's defense reigned supreme in the battle between top-10 squads, and the Vols were led by senior linebacker Aaron Beasley. The Franklin, Georgia, native feasted with a game-high 12 tackles, career-high four tackles for loss and two sacks along with one pass breakup. Redshirt senior linebacker Solon Page III ended his career with a career-best effort, logging 10 tackles to rank second on the team.

The UT secondary got the job done on the back end, with junior defensive backs Tamarion McDonald and Wesley Walker posting one interception each and Doneiko Slaughter logging a career-high three pass breakups.

Tennessee grabbed momentum early after forcing a turnover on downs in the first quarter, halting Clemson's nine-play, 53-yard drive when redshirt junior cornerback Kamal Hadden and Page combined for a stop on a fake field goal rush. The duo stuffed holder Drew Swinney for a two-yard gain on fourth-and-4 to set up a scoring drive for the Big Orange.

Milton orchestrated an 11-play, 75-yard touchdown series off the turnover, culminating with a 16-yard scoring strike to redshirt junior wideout Bru McCoy who made a strong, two-handed grab on contact in the back of the end zone. Redshirt senior Chase McGrath knocked through his 67th PAT of the year, breaking his own school record from last season to give the Vols a 7-0 edge with 5:17 left in the opening stanza.

The Tigers (11-3) had three chances at points early in the first half but were unable to capitalize after three consecutive missed field goals by senior placekicker B.T. Potter. His 55-yard attempt with 3:05 remaining in the first quarter fell harmlessly wide right and short of the goal post before a 49-yard try with 14:08 left in the second quarter was also pushed wide right. His third kick came from 42 yards and sailed just left of the goal posts, keeping Tennessee's seven-point lead intact with 10:15 to go in the half.

Tennessee quickly doubled its lead after the third kicking miscue, using 1:12 of game clock for a five-play, 75-yard touchdown drive to go ahead by 14 with 9:03 left in the second period. Milton completed four-straight passes on the drive, including a 50-yard deep ball to White that set up junior running back Jabari Small's two-yard scoring plunge.

Small improved his season total to 13 rushing touchdowns, moving into a tie for sixth in UT single-season history. His 13 scores on the ground are the most by a Vol since Montario Hardesty also had a baker's dozen in 2009.

Potter got Clemson on the board with 5:11 left in the first half, hooking his fourth field goal try of the night from 31 yards just inside the left post. Neither side scored for the rest of the period, and the Vols headed to the halftime locker room with a 14-3 lead over the Tigers.

After receiving the kickoff out of halftime, the Tigers doubled their point total when Potter's 40-yard field goal sailed between the uprights with 10:57 remaining in the third quarter. The kick capped a methodical, 10-play, 45-yard drive for Clemson to cut its deficit to eight points, 14-6.

Tennessee's offense stalled on the next two drives before Clemson marched into Volunteer territory. The Big Orange defense held up once again when linebackers Beasley and Juwan Mitchell stopped Tiger running back Will Shipley on fourth-and-2 to force the game's second turnover on downs with 1:27 left in the third.

The UT offense responded with another quick touchdown series, going 70 yards in four plays in 1:22 of game time. Wright broke off runs of nine, 42 and five yards before Milton's second touchdown toss found White in the middle of the checkerboard-painted endzone. The 14-yard throw vaulted Tennessee's lead to 21-6 with five seconds remaining in the third.

Clemson quickly narrowed the deficit with its first touchdown of the night when quarterback Cade Klubnik ran four yards into the endzone on a read option—capping a 12-play, 71-yard drive for the Tigers. Shipley broke through the middle on the two-point conversion to make it a 21-14 Tennessee lead with 10:01 left in regulation.

Milton put the game on ice midway through the fourth quarter on the ensuing drive, connecting with Keyton on a wide open deep ball down the right sideline for a 46-yard touchdown that put Tennessee ahead by two touchdowns. McGrath's program record 70th made PAT doubled up the Vols over the Tigers, 28-14, with 8:34 left in the contest.

Tennessee's attacking, staggering defense posted the game's first takeaway on Clemson's next drive to all but seal the win as junior defensive back Tamarion McDonald leaped in the air and nabbed his third career interception. McGrath put the finishing touches on the victory, knocking his final career field goal attempt from 32 yards between the uprights for the final score, 31-14.

Clemson threatened a late touchdown when Klubnik heaved his 54th pass attempt into the endzone, but redshirt junior Wesley Walker grabbed his first career interception to leave no doubt. Three Milton kneel downs ended the game and the Vols hoisted the Orange Bowl trophy for the first time in 83 years.

The Vols finished the 2022 campaign breaking several single season records, including total points (599), points per game (46.1), total offense (6,832), yards per game (525.5) and passing touchdowns (38) while tying the record for rushing touchdowns (40).

[katewritesthings]

Love Me Like I Can - Prologue// Introductions

This is just prologue to test interest. Most of Diana's songs are by the artist JoJo. ( For the song Joanna, just pretend it's Diana)

pairing: Joe Burrow x Singer! Original Female Character

•summary: Inspired by Scandoval and Taylor/Travis. R&B singer Diana Hayes navigates falling in love after a cheating scandal captures the attention of America and a certain Bengal.

•warnings: Cursing. Cheating. Sexual Situations. Drinking. Drug use. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

Prologue // Introductions

October 18, 2023

Finding out was a complete accident. Diana was not the type of person that had the unquenchable curiosity for what is on their partner’s phone. In hindsight, maybe she should have paid even a bit of attention to Connor’s. Maybe the revelation wouldn’t have blindsided her, hitting her like a ton of bricks.

Every step that led to her finding out was motivated by trying to support Connor. His band, Bedford Scrolls, had just finished playing their final show of tour in their hometown of Boston and she was trying to get the best videos and pictures she could of him playing his bass. The entire tour was being documented on the reality show that the band starred in, but Connor always liked personal videos he could post on TikTok. She opened his camera roll to see if the pictures she took turned out the way she wanted when she scrolled one picture too far. The rage of betrayal washed over Diana as her stomach hit the ground. She was staring directly at her best friend’s bare chest. On the phone that belonged to her boyfriend of seven years. Unable to completely process the situation at hand with the screaming of the crowd surrounding her, Diana opened the camera roll to the grid revealing the pictures that Connor had taken in the past three months. There were numerous pictures of Hannah in various states of undress peppered in between the pictures of Diana  In a flash, she began selecting all of the photos that didn’t contain nudity and AirDropped them to herself while trying to navigate herself back to Connor’s dressing room.

After she felt the buzz of confirmation from her own phone in her pocket, Diana opened Connor’s phone app and dialed Hannah’s number. If the show had just ended that meant that the traitor was currently at the band’s hotel. With a huff, Diana mentally cursed herself for getting Hannah put on the band’s payroll. “Hey, baby! I thought you’d still be on stage!” The familiar voice of her best friend hit her ears as she navigated backstage to slam open the door to the green room. Connor and his three bandmates were freshening up while a few other friends lounged about.

“How long have the two of you been the absolute scum of the earth,” Diana heard her own voice sneer. The question captured the attention of the entire room she had just entered and silenced the woman on the other end of the phone.

Miles, the band’s lead singer, looked like he was about to open his mouth to ask for clarification for the whole room before Connor cut him off. 

“Let’s not do this here, Di. Let’s go somewhere to talk about this in private. You don’t want to embarrass yourself,” he said, voice even and calmer than he should be. Diana saw red, knowing what he was attempting to do. Connor had a habit of wanting to paint their relationship as picture-perfect, he wanted to do damage control and convince her to let this go. Unfortunately, this was not a random girl in Miami like at the beginning of their relationship. This was a new level of betrayal.

“Fuck that, Connor. What’s embarrassing is knowing that I thought you were good enough for me. Let everyone know how you’ve got more naked pictures of Hannah on your phone than I could count,”

Gasps and sounds of shock almost drowned out the sound of Hannah ending the call. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back to Diana. She felt like her throat was closing up as she began to process what this meant for her. Not only did this change everything when it came to her personal life, it was going to cause huge issues in her professional life.

Diana had been in the industry since she was 14 and nominated for her first Grammy. Even as a young teenager, there was a soulful warmth in her voice that combined with her range led to her first album winning Best Contemporary R&B album in 2012. Her career continued to steadily climb over the next few years as she dabbled in acting and released three more albums in 2014, 2016, and 2018, but she had never felt the security of someone on a bigger label. It had been almost six years since she had released music and that was supposed to be coming to an end. 

Diana had been planning on recording her third album after Bedford Scrolls’ tour and recording of Band Together had finished filming. Connor’s manager had promised her that if she went on tour with them and was featured in the season, it would drum up attention for the announcement of her return to music. He had talked her into signing a contract to appear in at least six episodes this season and the reunion. He even hinted at the possibility that she could use the networking to secure a documentary about making the album. 

All Diana could think about at the moment was how all of that was now a pipe dream. In her anger, she threw Connor’s phone across the room and let her phone carry her to the back exit of the venue. Emotions were swirling through her head and the thought of the material she had worked on about and with Connor now made her sick. She was going to have to start over, but couldn’t until the reunion was filmed in mid-November. 

—-

OCTOBER 20, 2023

DIANA AND CONNOR CALL IT QUITS! ALLEGATIONS HE CHEATED WITH.. HANNAH MALONEY!!

Musicians and stars of the reality show Band Together, CONNOR LEWIS and DIANA Hayes are officially no more, representatives for the pair have confirmed to TMZ.

After seven years, the couple has reportedly decided to go their separate ways. As surprising as this news is, it’s not nearly as shocking as news that Connor is rumored to have an affair with cast member, employee, and friend Hannah Maloney.

The Show Band Together follows the musical career of Connor’s band Bedford Scrolls as they navigate the messy life of music from writing to touring. Diana has been featured occasionally on the show in past seasons but was heavily featured in the trailer for Season 3 which premiered October 8. Hannah is a close friend of Diana’s who eventually became an assistant for Bedford Scrolls and is also featured on the show.

In the promo for Season 3, it was suggested that Connor and Diana were in an open relationship. This rumor was quickly shut down when Diana shared the promo to her Instagram stories with the caption “I’m not that cool. Bisexual =/= polyamory”

Show sources let TMZ know that the break up was recent as the couple has been seen together at tour dates for Bedford Scrolls as recently as Wednesday. Fans also report this as they say that Diana was Connor’s biggest fan at the final show of the tour, but left the venue alone in tears in a cab shortly after the set ended.

—--

October 29, 2023

DIANA SEEN OUT SWIFTLY AFTER SPLIT WITH EX, CONNOR

Edibles singer DIANA HAYES was spotted in NYC, leaving Electric Lady studios this morning. This is the first public sighting of Diana since news broke of her split with ex-CONNOR LEWIS. 

Last week TMZ reported that the couple split after Connor had an affair with Diana’s best friend, HANNAH MALONEY. Cast members of the reality show Band Together, and bandmates of Connor, have seemingly confirmed this by posting pictures of them with Diana in support. The hashtag #TeamDiana was trending for most of last week.

Sources close to Diana inform us that she has been staying at a rental in New York and has been offered support from big names such as Taylor Swift and Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson and even romantic offers from bachelors such as Drake.

Eagle-eyed fans are curious to see how this drama unfolds in this season of Band Together. Click here to catch up on this season of Band Together, airing now! 

—----

November 28, 2023

@DianaMusic: Wow. Where to start? 

First of all: Thank you all so much to for the outpouring of love and positivity you have sent my way over the past few weeks. Without the support I have gotten I would not have even been able to process the insanity that has happened, but with your care, I was able to throw myself into healing creatively. With this healing journey comes some good news and the bad news. 

First, this will be my last season of Band Together. 

More importantly, over the past few weeks, I have been processing through creating. This means I have recorded 4 new songs to put on an EP called, “Run” that will be released at midnight. It has been so long since I have released new music into the world that I began to question whether I had anything left to say, but now I do. This EP is just a taster of what is to come next year and I cannot wait to grow and heal with you all. 

What didn’t kill me better run. Liked by joeyb_9, conlew, and 1,423,798 others

VIew Comments.....

@taylorswift13: So proud of you! @IslaNg: They better fucking run! @hallebailey: This EP is about to be my personality

—---

RUN.

Diana 

Anxiety (Burlinda’s Theme)

Dissolve 

Man

—--

December 29, 2023

The past three months had been a whirlwind for Diana. After the revelation that Connor had cheated on her, she immediately threw herself into writing new songs. Before her flight from Boston to New York landed she had already written two of the four songs on her new EP. Diana and Anxiety were the outcomes of her mind working on overdrive about how the public was going to perceive the breakup.

Realistically, Diana knew that there would be people who blamed her, that’s just part of being a woman. Unrealistically, she was convinced that the public would take Connor’s side due to her unofficial hiatus from the public consciousness. Bedford Scrolls released their last album in September and had been touring and promoting constantly since. 

What the songwriter didn’t expect was for scandal to take the nation by storm in her favor. The nation tuned in every week to watch Band Together in hopes that they find clues of the affair in the season. As the episodes aired, it became clear that Diana was a devoted supporter of Conno meanwhile he took the chance to insult her every time she wasn’t in a scene. The footage broke Diana’s heart and ignited a vitriol for Connor like never seen before. Even Connor’s bandmates only spoke to him to berate him at the reunion for the reality show

The finale for the show had aired Sunday and it had been the only episode, bar the reunion that had been filmed after Diana had ended her relationship. She had never seen support like the outpouring of comments left when people watched as she asked Connor if he ever really loved her at all. Some fans had even correctly theorized that she had written Dissovle after filming had ended that day.

Diana had taken her new friend Taylor’s advice when she reached out and had booked as many performances as possible so she could turn the attention back to her career. She knew it was opportunistic, but after what Connor and Hannah did to her, Taylor reassured her that she deserved to secure her own future with the publicity. 

Diana had just finished singing acoustic versions of Dissolve and Man as the intro to a funk cover of “Any Man of Mine” by Shania Twain began to play. “I decided to do this song because I recently realized that it’s not selfish to want your partner to please you or be dedicated to only you… Here goes.”

—-------

DECEMBER 31, 2023

REUNION SECRETS REVEALED

Last night, the reunion of Band Together aired and exposed much more about the affair of CONNOR LEWIS and HANNAH MALONEY than we previously knew.

Isla, the drummer for Bedford Scrolls, posted on their instagram stories earlier this week defending their support of DIANA over their own bandmate Connor, saying: “You’ll see guys, some shit comes out at the reunion. Like, we found out shit we had no clue about and some stuff that was said that was absolutely heinous. As a human, it would be hard not to take Diana’s side after watching.”

After watching the reunion, it is clear what Isla was talking about. Diana, Connor, and Hannah were all in the same room for the interview where Hannah admitted the affair had been happening for almost a year.  

Things only got more heated from there as the host Andy Cohen asked Hannah why she loved and believed she could trust Connor. Hannah answered with a sexually explicit answer saying, “Connor and I are in love in such a deep way, it’s different than their relationship. He wouldn’t even go down on Diana and he’ll eat me any chance he got.”

If that weren’t enough fuel to the fire, Connor had to be removed from the stage for his safety after saying something under his breath that fans believe to have been, “Could you blame me, who wants to go down on a redhead?” because Miles and the guitarist, Zach, had gotten him into a headlock.

Fans are speculating that this might be the end of Bedford Scrolls as we know it.

—---

JANUARY 1, 2024

Diana was doing her best to try to avoid every bit of media she could for as long into the New Year as possible. It turned out, as long as possible ended up being 3 PM. Biz, Diana’s sister had burst through the AirBNB bedroom door tha Diana was currently holed up in, trying to smoke a bowl watch the newest episode of the new Percy Jackson.

“Did you see the Cheifs vs Bengals game yesterday,” the younger girl excitedly shrieked as she dramatically flopped herself on the bed next to her sister. “Uhm, is this an alternate universe? When have you ever seen me watch a sporting that I didn’t sing at” Diana shot her sister a look of confusion and taking a hit from her glass pipe.

“Because! Your name came up, watch this video!” Biz excitedly thrust her phone into her sister's hand.

The sound of her own voice was audible in the background of the video as a player with the number 1 on their jersey was being interviewed.

“I see you all are fans of Diana,” the interviewer joked as a player with a wrist splint in the background was seen in the background mouthing the words to “Man.”

“Yeah, we Team Diana in this locker room!” The player said laughing.

“Oh, yeah? Is her music on a lot in the locker room?” 

“Not like we have a choice though, with how obsessed Joe is,” the player let out another laugh pointing at the injured player in the background. Chuckles from nearby players were heard. “Shut up, Ja’Marr,” the injured man, presumably Joe shouted from the back.

 “All I’m saying is you kept saying this song was about you when you first heard it,” Ja’Marr called back over his shoulder. “Diana if you’re watching this: Hit up my boy Joey B! He ain’t afraid to e-” The video was cut off as Ja’Marr was put in a headlock by Joe.

Diana stared at her sister’s phone, uncertain who or what she just witnessed, waiting for an explanation. When none came, she looked up to find Biz’s expectant face looking hopefully back at her.

“So?” the brunette questioned, “Are you going to do it?!”

“Do what? I don’t even know what I just watched,” Diana stated, still confused. 

“You just watched Ja’Marr Chase ask you to hit up one of the most thirsted-after quarterbacks ever: Joe Burrow, and imply that said quarterback would like to get freaky with you,” Biz explained. “You have to respond.”

Diana’s cheeks filled with warmth as she mentally replayed the video in her head. She had no idea who this person was, but she had to admit he was attractive. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to have her agent try to reach out for his phone number. ===== Next Chapter.

[musiconanironingboard]

6 August 2022: I Had a Dream, Joe promo EP, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. (Mute/Elektra, 1992)

In 1992 I was gaga for Nick Cave’s album Henry’s Dream. I thought it was phenomenal then—I named it my #1 album of the year—and it is still my favorite Nick Cave album. I don’t hear too many Cave heads talk about it these days; it seems that people don’t spend a lot of time looking backward when it comes to Nick Cave. His latest album, whatever it may be (and I’m talking his mainline “rock” albums, not his scads of soundtracks or poetry records or whatever else), always gets a lot of attention and acclaim and while many of them are excellent it is always Henry’s Dream that sends me to the highest peaks of excitement with Nick Cave music.

This four-track U.S. promo CD (with one track from Henry’s Dream and three older live cuts) is an item I owned when it came out and long since got jettisoned from my life. I doubt I ever would have let this go myself (though I’ve done odder things), so I have a suspicion it was in the Great Wheel of Promos that got left behind at my parents’ house when I vacated for the final time, the contents of which included a number of amazing things, all of them radio promos, including the now very rare and very expensive one-track promo for Nirvana’s “On a Plain,” a song from Nevermind that was floated but never released as a commercial single. Anyway, if you go leaving your stuff at someone’s house for years, you can’t blame them for wanting it out of the way,  and such is life. I’d imagine the entire contents of that giant spinning CD rack were taken to Wood Street Warehouse in my hometown, where either someone snapped up “On a Plain” for pennies on the dollar or it got thrown in a Dumpster when the place went out of business. Either way, I’m sure it’s ruined by now. I’m guessing my first copy of I Had a Dream, Joe was right along with it.

When I first saw this CD in 1992, it was thrilling. My friend Tom and I were both so enthralled with Henry’s Dream that any ancillary link to the album took on great significance. I loved the shot of Cave live on stage that’s on the front cover and I even dug the faux-handwriting scrawl of the title. What I loved the most was when you opened the disc you saw on the back of the front insert a short but, for me, a very thrilling tour schedule:

On August 7 of that year, Cave and the Bad Seeds would be bringing the Henry’s Dream tour to Chicago, a city I could reach from my college town; what’s more, it was during summer break, and in 1992 I was spending the summer in my college town and incredibly underemployed, aside from my unpaid job at the university radio station, where I was now the music director, and so I could just sneak off to Chicago without anyone having to know. I’m not even sure how I survived in 1992; I don’t think I was a drinker yet in 1992, but I do know I barely ate anything, I had such little money. But I could easily call up Elektra Records, do a little radio schmoozing, and get free tickets to that Cave show, and if a couple of friends came with me they’d give me gas money. Huge plans were made. I’d be going with a female friend and another friend of ours whom I was in love with. The mother of the one I loved lived in Chicago and there was a built-in excuse for that friend to go along; she’d visit her mother while I and the friend I didn’t love would go see Nick Cave, and after the show we could all stay with her mother. I don’t know what happened, but none of this came to pass. I wouldn’t see Nick Cave live for another 16 years. The agonies with the girl I loved dragged on for another two. I haven’t seen either of them in 28 years. But I still love Henry’s Dream! (And I notice that Cave’s ’92 Chicago date was at the Vic Theater; today I live near it and go routinely. My brother and I were just there for Spiritualized a month or so ago.)

Below is a shot of the disc.

I’m thrilled to have this CD back in my life. Just seeing it brings back oceans of memories.

[terrireview]

Kansas city jazz club

Notables of Kansas City jazz include pianists Pete Johnson and Mary Lou Williams, singer Big Joe Turner, trumpeter Oran “Hot Lips” Page, saxophonists Jimmy Smith, Buster Smith, Ben Webster, and Lester Young, bassist-bandleader Walter Page, saxophonist-bandleader Andy Kirk, and pianist-bandleaders Bennie Moten, Jay McShann, and Count Basie.It's, no longer Gadson, but The Coner and the customer service is horrible.I have placed a order for some chicken and french fries then someone came in after me place they order I had already been waiting 15 mins, I could never find my server don't know where she was at then three additional people came in place their order got their order before I got mine.I had to go up to the bar to make a complaint about my order that I have placed the lady at the bar did Apologize when I got my food there was no seasoning on the chicken I just said no salt on the french fries I sent my chicken back and they just put it in another basket and send it back to me so I asked for some seasoning to go on my chicken and they charged me for it horrible horrible horrible customer service. El Capitan Club was a dance hall and nightclub that provided some of the best live jazz performances in Kansas City. Hammond discovered Kansas City talent in the shape of Count Basie. After their official gigs, jazz artists would spend all night in jam sessions that helped create the improvisational tradition of Kansas City jazz. Kansas City jazz burst on to the national scene in 1936 when record producer John H. Just six blocks to the south, jazz also flourished at 18th & Vine, which became nationally respected as the epicenter of the city’s African American community. The Kansas City Jazz Orchestra is one of the nations preeminent big bands, performing classic and original repertoire in a variety of settings in Kansas. At its height, 12th Street was home to more than fifty jazz clubs. Kansas City’s 12th Street became nationally known for its jazz clubs. A saxophone player named Charlie Parker began his ascent to fame here in his hometown in the 1930s. Legends like pianist-bandleader Count Basie, saxophonist-bandleader Andy Kirk, singer Big Joe Turner, trumpeter Oran Thaddeus “Hot Lips” Page, and pianist-bandleader Jay McShann all played in Kansas City. At one time, there were more than 100 nightclubs, dance halls, and vaudeville houses in Kansas City regularly featuring jazz music. Only in Kansas City did jazz continue to flourish during the Depression. This “wide-open” town image attracted displaced musicians from everywhere in mid-America. During prohibition, he allowed alcohol to flow in Kansas City. Our upscale jazz club offers a luxe dining and music. Kansas City jazz flourished in the 1930s, mainly as a result of political boss Tom Pendergast. Relish in the history of Kansas City jazz music and a delectable pre-fixe menu at Lonnies Reno Club. By the mid-1920s, the big band became the most common. In the early days, many jazz groups were smaller dance bands with three to six pieces. In fact, the city’s first jazz recording by Bennie Moten in 1923 was “Evil Mama Blues.” Settings such as dance halls, cabarets, and speakeasies fostered the development of this new musical style. Blues singers of the 1920s and ragtime music greatly influenced the music scene, evolving eventually to Kansas City jazz-a new kind of blues that jumped with a jazz sound. Blues formed the basic vocabulary for KC-style jazz. Kansas City is world-renowned for its rich jazz and blues legacy.

[billthedrake]

BACHELOR PAD (PART ONE)

It's fucked up, but we didn't even talk about it for a whole year. Pretty much every night my father and I were having sex, and we didn't begin to process it.

Dad was living with me after the divorce. He was a high school math teacher and soccer coach, as well as a youth pastor in our church. Loved in the school and the community. Married with three kids. Until he got caught having an affair with a former male student. Matt Adams, a soccer jock two years younger than me. Cute fucker - Dad had good taste, I'll give him that.

It was a hell of a way to come out. Apparently the two had been having an affair for a few years, back even when Matt was a senior and one of Dad's students. It was the town scandal, and Dad lost his job immediately. Mom was devastated and I got a teary, desperate phone call from Dad, apologizing for wrecking our lives.

"I hate to ask, Joe... but is there anyway I can come stay with you for a couple of days? Amy and Eric have stopped talking to me," he said, referencing my sister and younger brother. "I don't have anywhere else to turn."

Maybe I should have been upset at Dad, too. I mean he did the stupidest thing imaginable. Matt fucking Adams? Like my whole hometown wouldn't find out. But I'm gay and had a tough time coming out. I could only imagine what it was like for a man my father's age, in such a conservative, religious environment.

I'd been the one to move an hour and a half away, to the big city, to escape all that. My family accepted me in a quiet, maybe begrudging way. They'd be less accepting now if I took Dad in, but fuck that.

"Of course, Dad," I said. "Stay as long as you like."

"It'll just be a couple of days, till I figure things out," he said.

***

It was more than a couple of days, a lot more.

Dad looked like hell when he showed up. He still was wearing his normal button-down, pleated khakis and dad sneakers, but looked like a lost soul out of place. He gave me a long, tight hug. "Thanks, Joe... this means the world to me, buddy." I felt almost embarrassed. But I deflected by playing host. I didn't have a big place but tried to set up the couch to make it as comfortable to sleep on as possible. I showed Dad where the fresh towels were and told him I'd stock up on groceries the next day.

That seemed to get him. He held back tears, but barely. I got the sense Dad was dead broke. Mom was always the one to handle the finances and I wouldn't be surprised if she froze him out of the joint accounts.

"Thanks, buddy," he said, mustering the determination to look me in the eye. "OK, if I get some sleep? You have your workday tomorrow."

"Yeah," I agreed. Another tight hug, then I went to my bedroom. I was way concerned and wondered if I was doing the right thing. I mean, I didn't condone what Dad did. But I knew I'd want my parents to love me even if I fucked up. I was going to be there for Dad, even if the rest of my family stopped talking to me.

Dad was already up and showered when I got up for work. The coffee maker was going and I saw Dad folding the sheets up neatly. He was wearing only a pair of shorts and I stopped in surprise at how fit Dad was. His thick ex-jock body was now trim, and I could see the muscle in his back ripple with his motions. The man had always had a solid build, and in my moments of self-awareness I knew he very much defined the kind of ideal man for me. But he'd clearly hit the gym lately, and watched his diet. I wondered how much of that was for Matt Adams, or other men.

The view of the front as he turned around was just as spectacular. Round pecs, just the right amount of fur, taut core, kept from six-pack perfection only by the kind of normal padding middle-aged guys have. That body was incredible on anyone, but for 50 it was an achievement.

"Hey son," he greeted, more chipper in the morning. "Early bird gets the worm right?" For such a stud, Dad could be hokey as hell. It's what worked for him as a teacher and youth minister. It was hard for me to square that version of the man with the one who cheats on his wife of 27 years with an 18-year-old ex-student.

"Sleep OK?" I asked.

"Like a lamb," he said. "I think I needed a good night's sleep. It's been a while." Unlike last night, the sad statement was accompanied by Dad's normal, positive demeanor.

"Glad to hear." I heard the coffee maker gurgling from the other room. "Ready for some coffee?" I asked. I wasn't good for much conversation before my first cup.

"Definitely."

I wasn't too chatty, still waking up. After graduation, I adjusted from being a college night owl to a 9 to 5 schedule, but I wouldn't say the adjustment was easy. Dad kept up the conversation for the two of us, telling me his plan for the day, to go out and look for a job.

"I'll get out of your hair soon, Joe, promise," Dad said contritely, his blue eyes having both a youthful vitality and grown-up maturity I hadn't seen before. I knew it had to kill him inside to have the parent-son relationship reversed.

"You're not in my hair, Dad," I sighed, standing up and patting him on the shoulder. "Seriously, it's great to have you here. Maybe not the best circumstance, but great nonetheless." I gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. "I do have to shower up... my morning schedule's pretty tight. But make yourself at home."

Dad nodded.

"Love you, Dad," I added. I'd said those words many times over the years, but I figured Dad could use them now.

"Love you, too, son."

***

It took three days, but Dad was all smiles when I got home on Friday. He was dressed in his preppy khakis shorts and polo shirt. I wondered if he'd ever stop dressing like a youth pastor.

"You are looking at an officially employed man," he beamed as soon as I set down my keys and mail and joined him in the living area.

"For real?" I said. I knew it had been weighing on him, and I was glad for my father.

He nodded, excited, like a kid. "Let's get some dinner and I'll tell you about it."

We kept dinner casual. I wasn't sure of Dad's budget, and I reserved nicer meals for when I had a big date, which unfortunately hadn't been in a while. But we enjoyed tacos and a beer in the warm spring evening. And Dad filled me in on his job.

I figured Dad was blacklisted from teaching, and he confirmed that he didn't exactly have the best job references now. But there was a landscaping company that needed strong hands. Dad fit the bill, and I guess his hokey can-do spirit paid off.

"I start tomorrow," he said. "It's their busy season, so it'll be 7 days a week at first, lots of overtime." For a man committing to a grueling job, he seemed strangely excited. "The pay's OK... it might take me a while to save a deposit for an apartment here.... I took a look at rents here, wow... pretty steep."

"Yeah," I laughed sympathetically. "But seriously, Dad, stay at my place as long as you like."

"I may need to," he admitted. "But thanks, Joe. I don't want to make it any longer than I need to. You're a good looking single guy, you don't need your dad cramping your style," he teased.

"You're not cramping anything, Dad," I assured him. "It's been a dry spell lately. But when I want to go on a date or whatever, I'll do it."

Dad got a sly look. "Even the 'whatever'," he grinned. "You want to have a guy over, just let me know and I'll give you as much privacy as you need." This was a total 180 from the man who took me aside and told me quietly that my parents weren't ready for me to bring a boyfriend home on holidays.

"Dad..." I laughed nervously. I wasn't used to my sex life being under my parents' scrutiny.

Dad wouldn't let up though. He got that hokey teacher expression. "All right I get it... you gay guys sure have nice, chaste courtships these days."

I laughed though a part of me wondered if Dad included himself in the "gay guys" category. And cynically, I thought he should have been a little more chaste, so he wouldn't be in the predicament he's in now.

***

Dad was on his job almost a week before I took pity on him. He had back-breaking work, even tougher for a man his age, despite his physical fitness. Sleeping on the couch wasn't helping. So as he got the sheets out to set up the couch, I stopped.

"Come on, Dad, you can share my bed," I offered.

"Son..." he started to object.

"It's big enough, and you need a proper sleep. Come on." I was too weary for an argument, this just made more sense. Dad acquiesced and followed me to the bedroom, us turning off the lights behind us.

I didn't want to perv on my old man, but it was nice seeing him slip down to some snug briefs as we got ready for bed. Maybe I was imagining it, but Dad seemed to be appraising my body. I kept in shape and hit the gym regularly and was starting to get a trim, muscular build I was proud of. Dad's eyes made me prouder, even if it was a normal parent's assessment of how much his kid's grown up.

We slipped into bed. I was tired after a long and ready for sleep. But Dad seemed more awake.

"Thanks again for everything, Joe," he said, not mopey, not hokey. Just completely sincere.

"Dad..." I objected. I wanted him not to feel so much in my debt.

But he scooted in and gave me a hug. It was nice. The affection from my father. But it was more than that. His warm, muscular body. That soft fur. His masculine scent.

I'd been working though some daddy issues, I guess. I mean, I tended to date guys my own age, but it was incredible hot to hook up with an older man. But none were as hot as my father. I knew my dick was firming up but I figured I had a couple of seconds before Dad would notice.

Dad didn't give me a couple of seconds. He pulled back and his mouth found mine. I don't know if he somehow read my desire for him. Maybe he was just thinking with his dick, like he had with Matt Adams. Because we were outright kissing now. Lips parting, tongues meeting.

Holy mindfuck. I knew incest was wrong, or at least very forbidden. But that forbidden nature just made me hard as nails as we made out and our warm bodies came together.

Then, I felt Dad's palm cup my hardon in my briefs. This was not a tentative man. Dad was horny and very openly massaging my cock.

I leaned back and watched Dad playfully slip my underwear down over my hardon, down my legs. I helped him the rest of the way, kicking them off as Dad got naked, too.

My eyes widened to see his cock, my father's cock, erect and ready for sex. Still, a nervousness hit me, along with an awareness that Dad and I were about to cross a line we couldn't uncross.

Dad crossed it for me, quickly leaning over and gripping the base of my cock to pull it toward his lips and right into his mouth.

I watched wide eyed as my father blew me, bobbing his head up and down several inches of dick in steady, amazing strokes.

I have to admit, I was never very much an oral sex kind of guy. I liked licking and sucking on a man a little as foreplay, and sure, I'd enjoy that treatment, too. But I'd never had a man who sucked me like Dad. Maybe this is what I was missing the whole time, I thought as I leaned back and felt his steady, skilled motion and suction bring me off.

"Oh fuck!" I hissed and like that I was cumming in Dad's mouth, hard. Seriously, I didn't know coming from head could feel this good. It was a different kind of intense than fucking, and I knew I was hooked now.

Dad finally pulled off, a proud smile on his face. A wicked part of me wondered how much practice he had.

It certainly turned him on, cause he had a coating of his own seed in his fist as he relinquished his cock.

***

I couldn't help it. I guess Dad couldn't either. We repeated it the next night. And again the following. It became a nightly routine for us. Stripping down, even past our underwear. Me throwing hard before I even got into bad. Dad as well, most of the time. Sometimes we were in a playful mood, sometimes it was matter of fact. We kissed briefly before sex but never after. We didn't really talk about anything, we just had oral sex.

But each night we became more open about it. Keeping the sheets off. Leaving the lights on and the blinds closed so we could appraise each other. Then Dad and I would scoot our bodies together and make out. Not taking our time and not rushing it. In due time Dad would move down and start taking me into his mouth. Slowly, lovingly working me to orgasm.

I returned the favor a couple of times and loved it. The excitement of having my own father's dick in my mouth was an incredible thrill. Feeling his cum pulse into my mouth was even more mind blowing. Dad seemed to realize, because once he came he looked down at my renewed erection. "You need another go, son?" he offered. I nodded and knelt up to offer him my dick once more.

That became my favorite position, I decided. Dad's head propped back on a couple of pillows and the head board as I fed him my prick. The next night, I repeated it for my first round, silently gesturing Dad into place before we even met for a kiss, I knelt up and offered Dad my hard cock. The man's strong hands were on my thighs, telling me he was good to go. So I fucked his mouth for a deep, quick orgasm.

***

I knew it was wrong, and I spent half of each morning going through my head a plan to stop it. Dad wasn't forcing himself on me, I could easily say no. But I was having the secret affair of a lifetime. And the damage was done. Dad and I had already crossed the line. Repeatedly. What was another blowjob, another kiss?

Still, we kept some unspoken boundaries. We didn't talk about sex. Even at night in the bedroom, it was mostly silent communication between us. Outside my room, it was just me and Dad being son and father, even if our relationship had changed now that Dad was living with me.

The man worked hard, I'll give him that. His normal hokey self was quieter now when he got home from an overtime shift. He was physically drained, and I gave him space. And he somehow sensed when to give me mine.

One night I did mention something to him about his long days.

"Overtime," he replied with a game shrug.

"Been doing a lot of that this week," I observed.

He nodded. "Yeah, Joe. I'll take as much work as they throw my way. Divorce lawyers are expensive as hell. At least the good ones."

"Sorry, Dad," I said, regretting I'd brought up a sore subject.

"Nothing for you to be sorry about, son," Dad said, getting that tone he'd given when he'd lectured me or my siblings growing up. "It's my own dang fault I'm in this mess."

That night was the first night in a week and a half that Dad and I didn't have sex.

***

I was a little down the next day. Maybe I'd become addicted to Dad's blowjobs, but deep down I knew a good thing couldn't last. Particularly when that good thing was goddamn incest.

Emotionally, I wanted to see my father happy. I knew it would take him a while to get to that space, but I was glad to help him out. Indeed, the rest of my family was giving me the silent treatment. I'd occasionally get a terse text from my sister Amy, and I gathered she'd been designated the one to communicate with me. I was down about the whole thing, but I also knew I'd done the stand-up thing.

I guess my mood had picked up by the time I got home, but it didn't match Dad's chipper mood. It was Friday evening, so I wasn't surprised to see him home before me, but I was surprised to see he'd already started on a beer. Growing up, Dad would occasionally indulge in one Bud Light when the occasion called for it, but now he was popping open a cold one like a real blue collar dude.

"Hi there, Joe. Got paid today," he announced with a proud smile, nodding down to a fat envelope on the table. "Half went to my lawyer," he said. "But the rest is for you. Should at least cover groceries and utilities."

"Dad..." I objected, taking a seat across from him.

"I'm serious, Joe," Dad said firmly. "I may not be Father of the Year right now, but I'm not gonna sponge off my own son. At least not too much," he winked.

I saw how much this meant to Dad. He'd lost his whole life, he didn't want to lose his pride, too. I picked up the envelope. "All right... as long as I get to treat us to dinner tonight."

"Deal," my father said. He took one more swig of beer and stood up. "Let me clean up," he said and peeled off his gray-heather T-shirt from his landscaping company.

God, my dad was hot as fuck, I had to admit. Somehow the manual labor had made his body even harder and fitter since he'd moved in. I tried not to stare, but he seemed to invite my gaze. Furry muscle that was getting more toned by the day, tan lines developing on his arm and neck. My initial thought was Matt Adams had been one lucky bastard. Then, I thought, more evilly, I was even luckier. Cause this was my Dad. Dirty blond, blue eyed math teacher with a dark side.

As he made his way to the hall to go shower off, I popped a boner. Looking at my own father. I massaged it a little, teasing its hardness, then figured I needed to get myself under control and go to change into something more casual myself.

Dinner was our regular casual taco spot. My father couldn't stop talking, but I was glad to see him in a cheerier mode. He even gave me the blow-by-blow with the divorce proceedings, but instead of the normal wistful tone, he had that fighter mentality I'd rarely seen in him. At least not in a long time. I didn't take his side entirely - I mean, Dad fucking cheated on Mom, and she had every right to be hurt and angry and unforgiving. But I also knew their separation was complete and permanent, and Dad needed this final break to move on.

"Listen to me, talking your ear off, Joe," he finally caught himself, leaning forward. I remember being so attracted to him at that moment. His clean-cut youth minister looks, his hunky DILF body, his furry knotted forearms. "Tell me everything about work."

I was very independent, almost defiantly so since coming out. I never asked my parents for career advice, but that evening I opened up to Dad, getting his feedback as I weighed the possibility of looking for a higher paying job elsewhere.

I could see his reaction, visible if silent. Happiness I was bringing him into my life like that. I could see I'd hurt him by walling him off for the last six years, but he also knew at that moment he'd hurt me. A lot went unsaid that evening, but we just enjoyed talking, and Dad - Mr. One and Done - lifted up his beer glass.

"Another, son?" he asked. "It's been a hell of a week."

"How about back home?" I offered. "I'm driving."

Dad's good mood was infectious, and even though it was still early when we got home, I looked at him with a smile. "What do you think of getting into bed a little early?" This was the closest we'd come to discussing our sleeping arrangement.

Dad's eyes twinkled. "You bet," he said. With a lustful look toward me, he pulled up the hem of his polo shirt and lifted it off. There was that amazing furry upper body again, displayed for me. I followed suit and got an ego boost as Dad looked me up and down.

"You have an amazing body, Joe," he said softly. "Perfect, really."

I stepped up and reached out to touch his bare flank. His flesh was warm and felt great. We met for a kiss, the first time we'd kissed outside of my bedroom and that felt extra taboo for a reason.

Dad and I made out, feeling a strange, stronger passion than normal. I almost didn't want to break our kiss, but I finally pulled and patted his side. "Let's go back to the bedroom," I said.

Dad got undressed first, leaning back onto the mattress and spreading his meaty legs some. His dick stood straight up. It looked so much like my own, but clearly an older man's cock - hairier crotch, lower balls. I wanted to suck him.

Slowly I climbed on bed and ran my hands up his calves and quads as he smiled down on me. "I appreciate everything you've done for me, Joe. Like you couldn't believe," he said.

"Is that why you're having sex with me?" I asked in a worry. "To pay me back?"

He shook his head, almost nervously. "No. I guess I've always fantasized about this... just seems so unreal it would happen."

I leaned in and licked dad's nuts, which made him exhale a sharp breath in excitement. "Fuck yes, son." Dad usually only cursed when he was really mad. Or in bed, it turns out.

I playfully ran my tongue along those furry testicles, getting off on the idea that they'd made the seed that had fathered me. It was a magical connection.

I pulled back and stared at those magnificent paternal genitals. Dad erect, nuts hanging in perfect readiness beneath his thick stalk. "I've jacked off to roleplay porn... you know dad-son stuff... but it doesn't hold a candle to this." For all we'd done, it still felt like I was taking a chance mentioning this.

"No it doesn't," Dad said simply. I looked up at him. A sexual look was on his face, but so was pure affection. This was fucking with my head in the biggest way, but I was gonna embrace this. Ever bit of messiness of fucking around with my own dad. "I watched porn like that too," he said softly. "A lot. Only I couldn't find much where the son's the top." The man seemed to shake with his own admission.

My body was shaking now, too. I watched Dad question me with his eyes. "Yeah, I prefer it that way too," I said. Letting the words hang right there between us.

Dad grinned and spread his legs and started pulling them back. His body hair is light colored and fine so the thickness of it leading from his balls to his pucker was a real sight. I leaned in and I kissed my father's asshole.

"Oh fuck, Joe!" I heard and that was all the encouragement I needed. I started eating Dad out. Really going to town munching his hot hole. I didn't know how much Dad got fucked. I had a pretty good sense Matt Adams had done the honors. My goal was to make Dad forget Matt fucking Adams.

The more I licked and tongued him, the more Dad leaned back and pulled his legs back and wide, giving me full access. Finally, I withdrew a few inches to visually examine the spit-wet daddy hole.

Dad's voice was hoarse with need. "You gonna fuck me, son?"

I looked up into his eyes. There was Dad, my loving father, but it was also like I was looking at a different man. Horny. Needy. A muscle hairy piece of fuck meat. A million fantasies clashed in my brain and made my hardon surge.

I took my time lubing Dad's hole up. He just lay back and spread his legs and let me at it. "You've got an amazing cock, son," he hissed.

I responded by nudging my erection into the soft crinkled hole and pressing right inside him. Holy fuck, this was incredible. The physical sensation of the heat and soft grip of his anus, but the mental side, too. Topping my father.

For all the roleplay I'd fantasized about, this was a mostly silent fuck, me and Dad communicating with our eyes and our bodies as my thrusts slowly built up speed and urgency. He held his legs back and explored my chest and sides and that clear interest in my body fueled my own desire.

As we fucked and climbed closer to orgasm, I savored every second. The evil part of me was now glad my parents were divorcing. Dad was mine now.

That idea made my nuts boil over. "Dad...!" I cried urgently, warning him without putting into words that I was about to cum.

That got a deep growl out of my old man. "Go for it, Joe.... fucking seed my ass!"

I did, my lungs groaning like trampled bagpipes. I was riding the high of one of the best cums of my left. Maybe THE best cum of my life. But Dad wasn't far behind. Driven to new heights of lust he frigged his cock and then I watched, blurry eyed as heavy ropes of my father's sperm flew all over that chest hair.

"Damn," Dad hissed when I finally pulled out and rested on my haunches and my dong fell soft and satisfied between my legs. "Can't believe we just did that."

I ran my hands up his shins now that his legs were resting back on the bed. "Regrets?" I was scared of the answer but man enough to know I needed to find out.

He shook his head. "Not really. I mean, I should, but... fuck."

"Yeah..." I grunted leaning forward to embrace him. "Fuck."