#for those who knows what “gigil” means- you get me

[jude-shotto]

June2023Commissions (1/2) | Gavin & Nines for @headfulloffantasy🌻from their work, "Soft Spot"!

"But the softest, most vulnerable spot“ Nines took Gavin’s hand in his, guiding it upwards. “is the neck. If you push too hard, you can break every android, no matter how advanced.”

[nakalimutang-sumpaan]

Took quizzes late at night while waiting for the Thai tea to cool down bc I wanted to know his love language and MBTI.

I’ve been telling everyone I know his is physical touch and I was right. But I guessed the 2nd would be quality time. Wouldn’t have guessed it would be acts of service/words but I asked him which one means more and he said words… and I do see it. I found out from just this week alone that the things I say even as a joke can hurt him when I didn’t even mean it at all. And we wouldn’t have known if it went for WNRS.

“When have I hurt your feelings and you didn’t say anything?”

“Earlier…”

“What? What did I say??”

“That you like C more than me..”

“Omg it was a joke. I’m sorry. Dang that really got to you then huh bc I didn’t even mean it like that. You really took that to heart.”

“Yeah..”

I also noticed since I’ve said that that they’re not as close and I feel horrible.

Plus, he’s actually incredibly reassuring and remembers things I say. When he chooses to communicate, he does it in a way that I need. “What’s going on? Talk to me.”

Anyways, I need to be more careful with my words. It’s also crazy to me that we have the same love languages lol. But completely understandable given our environment. I told him that’s why I think we work bc he’s the only one who doesn’t get bothered when I get touchy and have the gigils and just wanna poke/squish/bite HAHA. Everyone else gets annoyed. And people get annoyed with him when he gets affectionate and I’m over here doubling down which causes him to do the same. I love it.

Anddd thennnn he mentioned how he loves those kinds of quizzes so I asked, “Do you wanna take another? Bc there’s something I’ve been wanting to know. I’ve been wanting you to take it actually” “Yeah I’ll take it for you I actually enjoy these”and he got excited with me.

OF COURSE HE’S AN ENFJ. JUST LIKE THE PREVIOUS PERSON I USED TO WRITE ABOUT HAHA. But when that was the result that popped up, I cheesed so hard. “OF COURSE YOU’RE ENFJ. NO WONDER WE GET ALONG SO WELL!!” “Why, what does this even mean?” So I showed him my list of MBTI’s and friends under them.

“It means… we’re compatible..! 😆”

THE SMILE HE WORE AND THE WAY HE LOOKED AT ME AFTER THAT HAHA.

Found this from 3.5 years ago and this is literally our dynamic. Esp when I’m sad, and he says “Talk to me. What’s wrong?”

His constant “ILYSM” “ILY”, me keeping a note on him LOL which I do for everyone who means a lot to me, but out of the guys, he’s officially the longest. It’s funny how he saw it though bc I forgot to exit out of the note when we were together and wrote something new I learned about him, and then he unlocked my phone and his face lit up and he said, “Omg you’re so adorable!” We’re both very expressive. He flirts and I stop working HAHAHA I can’t. He freaking knows that he makes me smile and knows how easily he can make me smile and milks it every time. I’m trying to write a poem bc he’s been writing songs. Yesterday he just kept singing random things while playing on the guitar and I lowkey felt hurt bc I knew it wasn’t for me. It couldn’t have been for me. Bc the one he keeps singing for me/writes for me on the spot is very… non-romantic. At least he tries to keep it that way. With the exception of “Every time you break my heart, we forgive each other” “Every time I be thinking of your smile. You come up in my mind, and I can’t think for a while.” But then he’ll snap out of it and be like “you are like my ate” I’m like 👍🏽 HAHAHA. Although he’s been doing this weird thing lately and just call me by my first name and I’m like…that’s interesting.

But he was just singing random things and I ended up trying to learn to play a song on the piano for baby sis to kinda tune him out but also bc he said, “You make me nervous, I can’t come up with anything when you’re looking at me” so I stayed outside his room. But I asked him to record himself bc it’s me and I don’t wanna miss anything, but also bc he comes up with a couple of good lines that he forgets about while just free styling which is why I usually record when we’re on the phone. After 5 mins, he said, “I was actually writing that for you 😌” but he play too much so I just dismissed it. But he airdropped the video and I literally listened to it and thought wth.. does he have feelings? LOL. But nah.

We’re juuust friends.

[leftist-parenting-diary]

Today has been bittersweet.

My little one is amazing. They’re learning so much and I cannot wait for her to wake up tomorrow and to see what has clicked in her brain over night and what cool new thing they will do. It has been such a gift seeing my little one grow and love the world around her. She’s got so much love and excitement for everyone and everything, even if she is a bit shy at first. There’s this really adorable sound they make when they are beyond excited (gigil). It’s kind of a catching in her throat sound. Everytime I hear it my heart soars. They are also such a little ham, just like their papa.💕 they love to make people laugh and get so happy when they do. They are such a strong and wonderful presence in the world. They are so brave and curious, I just feel so blessed to be able to watch them grow and to experience who they are along the way.

Of course, it’s difficult to imagine the future outside of our little family. I often think about what traits and priorities I want to cultivate in our little one while they are young. In some ways, it takes a lot of self critique and self questioning to be okay changing what I was taught that I know is not what needs to be passed down.

For example, I show her that being kind and smiling at all those you meet is a good thing. There is no pushing if she is having a bad day, but showing her that a smile can be an easy and beautiful thing to offer is important to me. Growing up, my parents told me that strangers smiling always meant something nefarious. It caused me to be so terrified of interacting with anyone outside my home. It wasn’t until i left that I realized how wrong on they were and how sad they must be.

I want her to know that she can trust people and that it is important to build and rely on community. I also am trying to teach her to understand sharing, excess, and happiness. She’s the first grandchild and the first baby in my friend group, so she is often showered with gifts. As she’s getting older, I ask friends and family to pull back on material gifts. We started a savings that people can contribute small amounts to and I go through gifts ahead of time to return things she doesn’t need (repeats, too small clothes, etc.)

As she grows, I want her to really hold on to the spirit of giving and sharing. As a child, I felt I had to open and be happy with every gift handed to me, even if I knew I didn’t want it. I want her to learn to really consider each gift, be grateful for the meaning and thoughtfulness, but to know that the best thing she can do with a gift she does not want/need is to pass it along to someone who does. I want to fight the idea of excess and materialism in any way I can.

That’s it for today. I’ll probably think about this more as I sleep. Have a beautiful day!

[seiyasabi]

Baby

(lol this is not something I’d usually write, but I had an epiphany after receiving this request! This is another Yandere Endeavor x Reader fic, but it doesn’t go with the other timeline I wrote prior. I really hope you lot enjoy this :)) TW: unhealthy behaviour, foul language, lowkey deals with a mommy kink??, etc..) 

BTW this was a request :))

Finding a naked child in an alley was not something you expected. Hell, I doubt anyone would plan for that. So, here you were, trying to coax an inconsolable toddler out from behind a dumpster. 

“Hey, are you okay, buddy? Come here, why don’t we go look for your guardian?” The red haired boy shook his head rapidly. 

“No! Go away!” You frowned in concern, and knelt down to his height. 

“I can’t just leave you by yourself! I promise I won’t hurt you. If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll drop you off at the nearest hero agency!” The nearest hero was Hawks, and he’s (hopefully) good with kids. Thankfully, that piqued the boy’s interest. He came out from behind the dumpster, and stood in front of you. 

“You’ll take me to Hawks?” You nodded in agreement with a comforting smile. 

“Of course,” you then took off your jumper, and held it out towards him, “Here, this’ll cover you up.” With your help, the naked boy was effectively covered. When you noticed he didn’t have shoes, you offered to carry him, which he agreed to. 

“There we go! Now, let’s get you to the heroes.” The blue eyed boy was balanced on your hip, your arms effectively holding him to your body. A smile was present on your face, even when the two of you received odd looks. 

“What’s your name?” You glanced down, making eye contact with the now calm child. 

“My name is (Y/n), what’s yours?” He averted his eyes, a small blush appearing on his cherub cheeks. 

“Enji.” He’s. So. Cute. You had to stop yourself from pinching him to death! Ah, gigil was so overwhelming. 

“It’s very nice to meet you, Enji!” He nodded in acknowledgement, and looked at those passing by the two of you.  Some ladies looked overjoyed to see such a cute child. 

“Oh my goodness! He’s so cute! Is he yours?” A middle aged woman stopped the both of you, her and her friends giggling into their open palms. 

“N-no he’s not. I babysit him, and I’m walking him home.” An awkward smile was present on your face, but the ladies didn’t catch on. 

“I should’ve known better! You’re too young and ugly to have been his mom-” Her friends cackled at that comment. The fuck? Just who the hell do these ladies think they are? Your eye twitched in annoyance. 

“Ahahaha, you’re very forward to speak to other people like that. But, I need to go-”

“Auntie, why is this ugly lady saying mean things to you?” Enji seemed to have enough of the lady as well, which caught you off guard. The older ladies were rendered speechless by his insult. 

“I-what-how dare you! Your parents must be ashamed of your behaviour!” The lead hag then turned to you, “You’re disgusting! You must teach him these bad mannerisms.” You shrugged and started to walk away, only for the woman to yank you back towards her, “I’m not done with you yet! You need a lesson about respect-” 

“Please let go of me. I know you may not have a lot of action, probably because your kids and husband hate you, but I refuse to allow your actions to rub off on my nephew.” She stumbled back in shock, allowing you to leave her vicinity. You held Enji a little closer to you, which ended up helping you hold onto him when a wrinkled hand grabbed you by your hair. 

“You bitch! I’ll beat you into a pulp-” The older woman’s friends tried to stop her from assaulting you, but it was too late. You were stumbling backwards, trying to regain your footing, when Enji started to cry. 

“Let go of my Auntie! Stop hurting her!” His wails were met with concerned bystanders, who now decided to step in. Shouts of ‘stop that,’ and ‘let go of her,’ were heard through the now forming crowd. 

“Shut up, you brat! I’ll discipline you too-” You used one hand to grip her wrist, and break her hold. She cried out in pain as you twisted her wrist unnaturally, but you held strong. 

“Never touch me again! You’re scaring my nephew, and I won’t allow you to lay a hand on him. Now, fuck off back to whatever hole you came from.” You then released her, and continued on your way. Bouncing Enji on your hip, you tried your best to console him, “Shh, shh, it’s alright, buddy. I won’t let her hurt you, okay? Now, let’s get you-” He threw his arms around you, sobbing into your shoulder. You shifted him onto your front (rather than your side), and rubbed his back soothingly. Not knowing what else to do, you started to hum a lullaby in hopes of calming him. 

By the time you reached Hawks’ agency, Enji was fast asleep. Using one arm, you balanced the toddler to your chest, and opened the glass door in the entryway. A strict looking secretary sat at a computer, noisily typing away on her keyboard. You approached her quickly, a courteous smile present on your face. 

“Excuse me, I found this little boy in an alleyway, and I was wondering-” Without looking up, the lady interrupted you. 

“The police station is five blocks from here. Just continue straight, and you’ll get there.” The smile fell from your face immediately, and you nodded. 

“Alright, then. I’ll be on my way, thank you for your time.” When you turned to leave, you bumped right into the hero you were looking for. A soft ‘oof’ left your lips, as you peered up at the winged man. 

“Now, now, Marie, the little lady came to the right place!” He placed his hand on your shoulder, and gave you a rehearsed grin, “Let me see the cute little guy.” You nodded, and gently turned the snoozing boy towards the hero. A look of shock crossed his features, before his face went blank. 

A concerned look appeared on your visage, “What’s wrong? Has he been missing for a while?” 

“Not at all! Now, just hand him over, and I’ll get him back home.” You raised an eyebrow at his quick change in demeanour, but you followed his demand. Right as you were handing Enji to the hero, he woke up, and immediately started to cry. 

Startled, you started to shush him, which resulted in you cradling him to your body, “Hey, bud. We’re at Hawks’ office, and he’s going to take you home! There’s no reason to cry, here,” You turned him in the blond man’s direction, “There he is! Isn’t that cool?” Enji’s crying became louder. 

“No! You can’t leave me!” A look of shock overtook your face, and you apologised to the hero profusely. He waved it off, and set his sights on the wailing child. 

“Come on, Enji, don’t be like that. You know I’ll take good care of ya!” You were immediately on guard, you never told him the red haired boy’s name. Pulling the boy in close, and stepping back, you frowned at the blond man. 

“How do you know his name? I never told you that.” His own frown appeared on his face, and he took a step towards the two of you. 

“His parents sent out a lost child report, with it, was a photo of this little guy.” Enji buried his face into your neck, wetting your perspiring skin. You shook your head. 

“You know what? I’ll have my friend look for the report down at the police station instead.” This was a lie, you didn’t have a friend there, but this hero was acting shady. A look of anger crossed the winged hero’s face, a soft growl leaving his lips. 

“Listen, just give me the kid, and we won’t have any issues.” 

“No, tell me what you’re going to do to him!” You both exchanged glares, before he backed down with a tired sigh. 

“Fine, the little boy you’re holding isn’t actually a little boy. That is the pro hero Endeavor, and after a fight with a villain, he was turned into a toddler. But, before we could bring him to a safe place, he ran off.” It took a moment, but the information sunk in. He did look like the pro, but you just assumed it was some other kid! I mean, he didn’t even have the scar on his face… 

“Oh crap, this is bad.” You averted your eyes to the floor, an embarrassed flush on your face, “I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions, but toddler Endeavor didn’t even recognise you!” The blond hero waved his hand, dismissing your apology. 

“It’s all good! You’re a concerned citizen, so I can’t be mad. If anything, I’m glad that you were suspicious! People are far too trusting these days.” The two of you laughed, and Enji was no longer fussy. After wiping the remaining tears off his face, you gave him a tender smile. 

“Enji, there’s no need to freak out! This is my friend Hawks, and he will take great care of you. If he doesn’t I’ll beat him up!” The red head shook his head, his signature scowl on his face. 

“No! Birds are dumb, I hate them! That means I hate him too!” Before you could stop yourself, you began to laugh. The two heroes were unamused, but that's besides the point. 

“That’s-that’s not very nice, Enji. What if he’s nice?” He glared at the bird hero. 

“He sucks, and he’s not nice!” Hawks feigned innocence, and tilted his head in confusion. 

“How do you know that? My friends say I’m very cool and personable.” You noticed the rising animosity between the two of them, and shuffled uncomfortably. 

“Well, what should we do? Do you want me to leave him with you?” 

“Nah, I don’t think that’s a good idea. He clearly doesn’t like me, and I don’t really want to deal with a grumpy child.” You nodded in understanding, and fixed your hold on the toddler. Your arms were starting to get tired. 

“Okay, should I bring him back once he’s back to normal?” 

“There’s no need. Once he reverts back, he can take care of himself.” A content smile settled on your pretty features. 

“Okie dokie! Thanks for your time, Mr. Hawks.” After waving goodbye, you started off towards your apartment. Unbeknownst to you, Enji glared at anyone and everyone getting close to you. For some reason, he felt like he needed you all to himself. How odd. 

-

Once inside your apartment, you set the red haired boy on your plush sofa. Clapping your hands together, you let out a happy laugh. 

“Alright, I’ll get changed and start on dinner. Would you like a new set of clothes? I’m sure you’d feel more comfortable in a shirt.” 

“Yes, please.” Enji looked quite bashful, making you internally squeal. He’s so adorable! But, from what you knew about his divorce, he wasn’t a good person. 

So, you used the restroom to change and freshen up. You then helped the blue eyed boy put on one of your sleeping shirts, which was far too big for his petite frame. 

“There! Now, let’s make dinner. How does ramen sound?” You grabbed his small hand in yours, and led him to the kitchen. He then, with your help, sat on one of your marble counters. 

“Do you have shouyu ramen?” Nodding, you reached into your cupboard for the familiar orange packaging. 

“You bet I do! Would you be a dear and break up the noodles? I’ll get started on the vegetables and extra toppings.” 

-

Once you finished cooking, you quickly served the young boy and yourself. Enji couldn’t remember how to use chopsticks, so you created a makeshift brace out of paper and rubber bands. 

“I hope the food tastes okay,” you shoveled noodles and vegetables in your mouth with ease, your eyes never leaving the struggling child. “Do you need some help?” The red head flushed with embarrassment, but nodded yes. You set down your own pair of chopsticks, and gingerly took Enji’s from his chubby hands. 

“Say ‘ah,’” he opened his mouth for you, and you fed him with a smile. After a few moments of chewing, Enji’s eyes lit up. 

“It’s very yummy!” He then started to eat with a new vigour. In no time, his food was gone, and he was dozing off in his seat. Before he could fall face first into the wooden table, you scooped him up, and set him on the sofa once more. You fluffed up a random pillow, and set it behind his head. You then grabbed a blanket from the hallway closet, and spread it over the small boy. Enji was asleep in no time. 

Once you made sure he was asleep, you went back to your dinner, before heading to bed yourself. 

-

You were awoken by the hallway night light. Rubbing your eyes blearily, you looked towards your now open door. 

“(Y/n), can I please sleep with you?” Enji was in the doorway, blanket wrapped around him snugly. From what you could see, he had been crying. Suddenly awake, you beckoned him towards your bed. 

“Come here, buddy. What’s wrong?” He scurried onto your mattress, and buried himself into your chest. You rubbed his back soothingly, covering the both of you in your own blanket. 

“I had a nightmare, and now I’m scared to be alone. Please let me sleep with you!” You ran a hand through his slightly sweaty hair, and nodded tiredly. 

“There’s no need to worry, you can sleep here.” You laid back on your pillows, cradling the young boy to your breast. “Do you want to talk about it?” You felt him shake his head, “Okay, do you want to sleep?” You could feel him nod, and you closed your exhausted eyes, “Alright, goodnight, Enji.” 

“Goodnight, (Y/n).” 

-

The feeling of warmth surrounded your body, making you stir slightly. A small groan left your lips, and you attempted to roll onto your stomach. Yet, your movements were halted by a large arm across your mid section. Your eyes immediately snapped open, and you started to shove at the unknown person in your bed. 

“Get off of me! Who are you?” An aggravated sigh was heard from the unknown person, and you were quickly pulled into a sizable lap. 

“Stop acting out, (Y/n). There’s no need to thrash around-“ you elbowed the unknown man in the gullet, and scrambled off of your bed. Once standing, you whipped around to face the intruder, only to be met with a sore looking Endeavor. Your hands covered your mouth in disbelief, and you started to stutter out apologies. 

“Oh-oh, I’m so sorry! Please don’t hurt me, Endeavor, sir!” The red head’s broad shoulders and muscley torso were on full display, making you nervous. Sure, you were still fully clothed in your pullover and spandex, but the implications still made you uncomfortable. Enji rubbed at his throat with a colossal hand, coughing slightly. 

“Well, that was unexpected,” Enji threw his sheet covered legs over the side of the bed, and stood to his full height. Gulping in new found fear, you took a step back. The blue eyed man might’ve been a great kid, but he didn’t grow into a good person. 

He wrapped the sheet around his waist, and stalked over to your frightened form, a bored look on his face, “Let’s go.” You raised an eyebrow at his proclamation. 

“What?” Enji wrapped a massive hand around your wrist, and started to drag you towards your front door, “What are you trying to do?!” Your bare feet scrambled to gain some traction, but resulted in you being dragged towards your foyer. The man stopped at a window in your dining room (which branched off of the kitchen), and peeked at the road below. There was an expensive looking car parked in the bike lane with its hazards on, and a figure running towards the stairs to your apartment. 

A grunt of approval left Enji’s unparted lips. He then yanked you to your front door, and opened it before his assistant could even raise their fist to knock. 

“Bring us to the car,” He ordered, before scooping you up into his arms. You tried to thrash and scream, but were silenced by a stern look. He then turned his attention to his assistant. 

“I-I need to touch you for my quirk to turn you invisible, sir.” Enji gave a nod of approval, and a shaky hand was placed on his forearm. The walk to the car was awkward, to say the least. 

Once the both of you were in the car, you shoved the pro away from you. 

“What was that? Where are we going?” A slight smile quirked at the large man’s lips, and he laid a heavy hand on your bare thigh. 

“We’re going to my estate, you silly girl.” The look of confusion on your face forced a sigh from his lungs, “You’ll be staying with me from now on.” Anger bubbled from the pit of your stomach. 

“No, I’m not. You’re going to take me home! I refuse to be in the same house as trash-”

“Don’t raise your voice at me.” Enji’s voice was calm, but the look in his eye silenced you, “You didn’t seem to have a problem with me when you coddled me last night-” 

“That’s different,” You dismissed, “At first, I didn’t even know who you were! I thought you were a lost little boy who needed help. After that, I was just going to care for you because you were now in the form of a child. You didn’t seem to remember anything, so I didn’t want to scare you. Last night, when you came into my bed, I was too tired to dismiss you. But, that shouldn’t even matter! What really matters is that you’re kidnapping me!” A frown enveloped his entire face, the hand on your thigh gripping you harshly. 

“It’s been a while since someone has treated me well. My ex wife was hardly loving, and my kids hate me. Having you enter my life has been great.” Is this guy serious? You sent him a hash glare. 

“Of course your family hates you! Your ex wife, bless her heart, was forced into a quirk marriage, and forced to bear multiple children. I honestly can’t blame her for running away once she was in a sound state of mind-” Your jaw was caught in a crushing grip, stopping your angry tirade. 

“Don’t say such things. I know that things aren’t necessarily ideal, but if you go back to your normal self, everything will be fine.” Enji released your jaw, which you rubbed to relieve the pain. 

“What the hell are you talking about? I am my normal self-” 

“No, you’re acting horribly right now. Last night you were so kind and nurturing, but now you’re acting like a selfish whore.” You gaped at him rather unattractively. 

“Pardon?” The red haired man ran his hands over your upper arms, drawing you in close. 

“Having someone willingly be close to me feels amazing, and I refuse to ever be without your embrace. If you don’t love me willingly, I’ll force you to. This time, my training will work. This time, my kids will love me. This time, my little wife will love me. I may sound greedy, but I need you, and you’ll soon come to realise you need me too.” Tears gathered in your eyes, and you struggled to get out of his warm arms. 

“You-you’ve gone crazy! This must be a side effect of that quirk-”

“It isn’t, I assure you. I’ve just buried this deep inside of me, and it took that experience for me to realise I need a motherly figure in my life.” You crinkle your brow in disbelief and confusion. 

“Wait a minute, what the hell are you talking about? One minute you need a wife, and the next you need a mom.” 

“I need both, and you’re the perfect person to fill that void. When I need comfort you’ll hold me, and when our children need comfort you’ll hold them. We need each other, and you know it.” 

“One person couldn’t possibly be both!” Enji’s crazed eyes peered down at yours, a tender smile crossing his face. It seemed broken and misshapen. 

“There’s no need to worry, if needed, I’ll put you in your place.” 

[unlikelyempathpruneauthor]

oh ALSO. A blurb about Joshua being rushed to the ER and his gf being worried and coming to his aid and being there when he wakes up and he's all goofy from the meds and then starts crying? Crying Josh is my fave.

summary: josh was rushed to the hospital and afterwards he was still on pain meds and this version of josh was immaculate.

A/N: sorry I took a while to write this, hope this is familiar to what you wanted. also there might be some typos, I loved writing this so much! thank you so much for requesting!

You woke up to the sound of your phone ringing, at first you thought it was your alarm, but when you realized how late it was, you knew it was definitely not your alarm. As you picked up your phone, Laura, Josh's mom, had been calling you. You immediately picked up hoping everything was fine, or maybe something had happened to josh.

“Hey y/n im so sorry to bother you, but josh was feeling some pain and he’s gonna have an emergency surgery, i didn't know who else to call since his dad is off for work.” she said as you were getting ready while she was explaining what had happened to josh.

“Yeah okay, i'll be there in like 10 minutes,” you said as she agreed and you drove yourself to the hospital hoping that every was okay, i mean you two were only dating for a year, but it felt like you were teoghet for much longer, so things like these scared you. As you got to the hospital you got the room meeting his mom and hugging her.

“Hey, sorry the traffic was pretty terrible.” you said as she nodded.

“When is he getting surgery?” you asked as you both sat down looking at josh sleeping before his surgery.

“In a little, i'm really glad you're here, he was asking about you,” she said as you smiled and looked at him as his chest rose up and down.

“Yeah that's josh, but the good thing is that he had both of us here,” you said as she smiled and gave you another hug.

Just then the doctor walked in getting Josh prepped and you gave Josh a kiss on the hand and held his hand for a while before he left. His mom did the same, he was very lucky to have you two, he always reminded you two of it.

As you two waited you were hopeful that everything would go alright, like you predicted it did, you and his mom were happy the news all was left was for Josh to wake up.

They had warned you that he would wake up with meds so you were expecting a whole different Josh even though you and his mom went through some terrible waiting.

As you were sitting with his mom while he woke you were happy to see he was waking up earlier that he was supposed to.

“y/n...mom!” he said in a very childish tone. You giggled at how your boyfriend was with the pain meds. You had a whole conversation with josh about carrots...literally carrots. You loved pain med josh, another one of his characters, there nyquil josh, laughing gas josh, and now there was pain med josh.

“This hair is totally fake, my mom braids it so it comes out so curly.” he said as you giggled.

“Really now you're exposing your hair artist.” you said as he covered his mouth worried he would say more.

“No more rumours y/n, but you know ricky from that one show who looks like me?” he asked as you nodded knowing he was talking about HSMTMTS and he continued.

“Ricky is such a jerk, nini deserves better, she should have left her, man doesn't deserve her. Period photo.” he said as you were laughing at how he was even using references from tik tok.

“Chile anyways, also aj is so cute, and big red has game, he dropped his crown.” he said as he went on and on about his show and you loved how he didn't realize he was apart of it.

However this josh was so much different, he had seemed to forget you two were dating.

“Mom, i need to tell you a secret but you can't tell it to anyone, not even y/n” he said as you frowned and waved your hand up.

“Uh josh i'm right here, how are you gonna tell her?” you asked as he shushed you playfully and you gigiled.

“Just go on the corner, ittl be quick like spaghetti going through my mouth.” he said as you giggled even more. So you did what you were told and went to a corner pretending you couldn't hear him.

“Okay mom, come here….so i like her, but she probably doesn't like me, should i ask her out, you know just got for it.” he said as you giggled and his mom agreed with him.

“You should ask her out josh.” she said as josh had psst at you wanting you to come over to him.

“Can i come back now?” you asked as Josh nodded and wanted you to hurry over to him. As you sat there across from him he had grabbed your hand.

“Okay okay, so do you wanna be my girlfriend.” he said as you gasped to play along with him.

“Josh, i have a boyfriend.” you said as you could see he grew sad, which hurt you.

“Dang it mom she has a boyfriend you didn't tell me, well i missed my chance but i still want you to be my friend please.” he said as tears flew out of his eyes and he grabbed your hand as you nodded.

“Josh, honey hold one, let her talk.” she said as he looked back at you and you smiled at him while you placed his hair back.

“Josh you're my boyfriend silly.” you said as it took him a while to fully understand you, then he gasped.

“Really? You better not be joshing with me, pun intended.” he said as you fully didn't understand his pun but you nodded anyway.

“I'm not joshing you.” you said as he did a little victory punch.

Oh how much you were gonna miss pain med josh, he was honestly your favorite one out of all the josh’s on some sort of medicine. The sad part was he never remembered the silly things he did while being on them, but those were your memories of him to keep and later tell to all your friends and family when the time came. You would take all of Josh even pain med josh.

[runawayfridays]

WINGS Tour in MNL: Concert Experience

By Erika

I started attending concerts since 2010 but I must say, Wings Tour (and HYYH actually) is one of the most memorable and longest hangover I've experienced so far. If you're a fan who deeply understands their music, I don't need to explain, and if you're not, I can't easily explain.

So I don't remember everything that happened in the concert but I do have the memory of being an emotional potaeto, especially it was the time I was lowkey having difficulties and it was a perfect timing to loosen up and to be inspired.

Mini Birthday Celebration

I came with my two girls, Jen & Rej but we were separated since Jen got PR and Rej & I got two slots for Standing on May 7, 2017. Before we all entered MOA Arena, we ate lunch at Healthy Shabu-Shabu (Thanks for the treat Jen!) then we accompanied Jen to the PR entrance since they need to start earlier than us for the soundcheck. It was a first to attend concert without her beside me so I'm like ㅠㅠ.

Moving on, since Rej and I were left, we went to SMX (and there was a feast, sayang) to freshen up and wee all what I can wee, haha! If you're always thirsty like me, welcome to the family! BUT I'M THIRSTIER WITH BANGTAN, SO HERE WE GO. 💃

Preparation

Skipping the long wait while at the queue, when we got into the venue, we were close enough to the extended stage and we're at the back with fellow funny ARMYs who were telling jokes about Bangtan so I DIDN'T MIND. 😂 Then I prepared all my weapons an ARMY should have, heh. I got my ARMY Bomb and my phone. That's all! 'Cause it's hard to move when you're literally bumping everyone else.

Since I don't remember the sequence and everything, I'll just point out my highlights!

Dim the lights!

❄ Not Today Oh my gosh, I went straight to section B from D (there was no barricade by the way)! It's hilarious but when you're fan you do crazy things. They always perform at the main stage but I HAD TO SEE THEM CLOSE WITH NOT TODAY. That's just my jam! I can't believe I saw that live.

❄ Begin Jungkook started the solo performances and I DID NOT EXPECT THE SONG WOULD BE PERFECT TO DANCE TO (with JK it's perfect of course). His voice sounded the same with what they’ve recorded for the album but with extra breaths which made it hot. LOL HELLO SPG. And the lights were perfect. Oh, I can't help but notice these things as well.

❄ First Love If you know me, I love Yoongi. His performance was magical - that word popped into my head when he started singing. I don't know why but he has a different effect on me. Maybe because I know his songs have always something to do with his experiences, I know they all are but he's...different.

❄ Lie Caught in a lie~ I was pretty distant from the stage at that time but I definitely saw Jimin being lifted like a diva!

❄ Reflection Omg I don't remember much but I remember I stopped being busy with my phone's camera and enjoyed it. And there was a time I thought he was lip syncing because as I watching him on the screen, his voice didn't match his mouth movements but I figured there's always a delay. Oops. 😶

❄ Stigma This was one of the things I'm looking forward to! I was trying to look at him but all I saw was arms, phones and a little Taehyungie nailing the high notes. 😭 Again, I dropped my phone and just sang with him.. And that very manly voice when he said, Why did you do that to me then?/geu ttae nahante wae geuraesseo? GOODBYE.

❄ MAMA I was surprised to see Hobi at the front stage near us and he was the only one among the members who performed there. It was a fun stage and he was wearing this shiny clothes while dancing and when he went to the main, like everyone else, he sang in a capella and the camera was focusing on his face, I WAS STARING AT HIM VIA SCREEN AND I THOUGHT HE'S GONNA CRY. I swear, I saw his sincerity in his eyes. Omg that moment was too precious. 💖

❄ Awake Okay, last but not the least. Seokjin always exceeds my expectation with his vocals and I FELT MY EMOTION LOSING OUT OF CONTROL BECAUSE I RELATE TO THIS SONG.

I want to remain I want to dream more Even so, what I'm saying is That it's my time to leave

...and the CHORUS. What made it more unforgettable was when Rej, raised her right hand like she's worshiping. LOL AND I THOUGHT I WAS REALLY IN A FEAST WITH JIN. LMAO.

Taking a break from their solos, how can I forget them speaking in Tagalog.

Sa mga nasa kanan, sumigaw~ Sa mga nasa kaliwa, sumigaw~ Lahat kayo, sumigaw~

GIGIL NIYO SI AKOOO~

After their solo stages, they performed multiple songs like 21st Century Girls, Dope, Save Me, Fire, I Need U, Danger, No More Dream, BST and most especially Lost.

❄ Lost It had struck me the most because it describes me, as a person, struggling with what path I am taking ahead. It tells how a person can be lost, frustrated and uncertain but at the same time believing that he needs to get lost before he finds the right path. Basically, Bangtan says, wherever this path will lead you, it will eventually take you to the right place.

I didn't see the whole performance well but it was already enough that I can hear them singing the song that means a lot to me and I lost it. It felt good that in some way they were like trying to convey the feelings I've been keeping to myself. I love this song so much.

🔥 CYPHER PT. 4 I AM SO HYPED WITH CYPHER. CAN I GO BACK AGAIN RIGHT NOW? 😭😭😭 I LOVE, I LOVE, I LOVE MYSELF. I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW MYSELF. YO PLAYER HATERS, YOU SHOULD LOVE YOURSELF BRR! I WAS DANCING TO IT LIKE I DIDN’T CARE COZ THIS WAS MY MOST ANTICIPATED PERF OF THE NIGHT. RAPMON, JHOPE AND SUGA NEVER DISAPPOINT.

The medley stage however was heaven-like 'cause I saw Jungkook rolling his body in one of the songs I already forgot. LOL But the important things is, I REMEMBER HIS BODY WAVING BEFORE MY EYES. 😇😇😇 He fed me well, thank you very much. And Jin OMG, he went over and because I was startled (my heart literally pounded), I TOOK TWO LITTLE STEPS BACK AND EVEN I WAS SHOCKED WHY I DID THAT. HE IS TOO HANDSOME TO HANDLE.

🌼 A Supplementary Song: WINGS Oh no, this was one of the last performances and that means I'm reaching the end of this account. When they sang Wings with a windy performance because of the hidden electric fans (haha!), they were playing around and they all danced freestyle during the bridge part. I cannot forget Yoongi's robotic dance (Split second forgot the existence of the dance-line).

Ahh, and it was so pleasing to know they're having fun, waving to the fans and playing around with members, TAEHYUNG MAKING FACES IN THE CAMERA. Also, it was so funny when Jhope said, Kayo ang aming mga pakpak! Then he kept on chanting, joined by Jimin, the word Pakpak and we were chanting Ganern Ganern. I bet they didn’t know it, did they?

🌼 ...Better Days Are Coming This is extra special because I witnessed how ARMYs came together and I know the gist of this song can be easily understood - it's about holding onto each other until it gets better. I love when ARMYs are singing while Bangtan is holding out their mics out in the air.

It’s okay come on when I say one two three forget it Erase all sad memories Smile holding onto each other’s hands Hoping for more good days

If there is another way to say I love you, I think it’s everytime I sing their songs while holding onto every word of it.

🌼 Encore: Spring Day I savored the last moments of Wings Tour... 70% STARING AT TAEHYUNG. I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF. But the moment they were bowing their heads, I know I'm gonna miss them again. They bowed 90 degrees and wore those cute little headbands while waving goodbye to us. OH I HATE SAYING GOODBYE TO THEM COZ IT MEANS I’M GONNA WAIT ANOTHER YEAR TO SEE THEM AGAIN (not that I complain because $$$.........).

Thoughts

They have no idea how much they affect my life through their songs because they totally know how to communicate through music and it has been one of my strength and inspiration pills. They're unlike other groups I've known for the past years since I became K-music fan. LOL This is the first time I can relate my life to songs and I admire them having the guts writing songs about dreams, youth, empowerment and political issues. They created this bond between them and the fans. ARMYs are witnesses on how they try to uplift our spirits and I hope they continue to create impact on a deeper level with other individuals, groups or even greater.

And I wouldn't have enjoyed and appreciated this much without The Yeobos - Jen and Rej, a good company who appreciate music and food! I’m giving my A+ and 💖 to them. I hope we can do it again all together. 😙

[athousandmelancholies-blog]

2:30 PM

2:21 PM

I was at the bottom of the stairs going up. He was at the top of the stairs looking down. I knew his glance was on me - those deep-set, black eyes, that smooth tan skin, the long, rugged hair that was a little brown in the sunlight - so I moved to puff my chest a little more, jut out my butt a little more, and smile like I just saw deliverance.

He was deliverance. Lucien Paloma was a handsome, sophisticated, exploding package of deliverance.

He ran down an empty flight of stairs. It was the last semester of school.

"Happy monthsary, little girl," he breathed slowly as he caught me in a tight hug.

Heady from that warm whisper, I kissed him on the mouth - in public - and looked at him. He unlocked that tight embrace and shouted with his fists clenched, hands stretched above him.

"Ang swerte ko sa girlfriend ko!"

Surprised, I quickly pressed my palms on his mouth, and we erupted into a fit of giggles.

This scrawny, morena girl from Tanauan, Batangas was finally in love. I was 21 years old.

2:22 PM

I worked in Makati. He worked in Taguig. We were both away from probinsyano parents, toiling our own lot and ignoring the admonitions of, "Masyado na ata kayong siryoso."

I was a writer. A creative. He was a legal assistant. A nerd. We moved in together three days before our first anniversary. Nobody but Consi - my best friend - knew.

Well, supposedly nobody.

The first few nights with Lucien was absolute bliss. Each moment felt exactly like that song "Wouldn't it be nice?". Sweaty in our sleep, hands clasped together, dreams of futures with shiny condo units and travels to Europe, and all the beauty of first-time intimacy. I didn't want to do it at first, but he insisted. When the pain peeled away, I was left with absolute bliss. We barely noticed that we were holed up in a mosquito-infested, flying cockroach-ridden bedspacer for two.

Until that Wednesday. That Wednesday, I received a call from my mother.

"Putangina mong boba kang bata ka," she sneered.

I was speechless.

Prompted by concern, Consi told my mom. My mom made a fit. Every thinking creature in Tanauan knew.

"You will regret this day," she said in native Bisaya.

My mom - a restobar singer - has two kids from different fathers. I'm the first. Shameful offspring of a loveless marriage with a now-stranger called Rudy Castiliano. Chrissy was the second. Proud product of a one-night stand with a vacationing Joe in Laiya.

Painfully, she single-handedly brought both of us up. The toil took her beauty as well as her voice. She cooks now.

The love she wittheld from me, she poured on Chrissy. Someday, she hopes, Chrissy is going to be crowned Miss Universe and will buy us all a 3-storey house in Forbes Park.

There was only one thing she asked from me: not to waste my life on love.

I glanced to sleeping Lucien by my side. Shirtless, with beads of sweat pooling along the ridges of his stomach, his hair in a mess after an hour of love-making. This, I could not resist.

I never heard from her again.

2:23 PM

It started with a fight.

Lucien hated his boss. Hated his tie. Hated his life. He was a firecracker: he could perform beautifully if he wanted to, but stretched too thin, he could hurt you.

He stormed into our room seething. He banged the door behind him. This wasn't the first time.

"Don't be noisy. Magagalit si Aleng Tina," I lovingly said.

He looked at me, lost. I thought he was going to erupt in tears. He pulled me closer and tightened his grip on my wrist. I was ready to cradle him in my arms like I always do.

But, this time, he said, "Don't you ever tell me what to do."

The last thing I felt was a loud slap thundering on my face.

I dreamt of Miss Universes and write-ups and my mother's blank face that night.

2:24 PM

He was sick.

Hunched over him, applying cold compress to his forehead, feeding him spoonfuls of lugaw, my anger softened.

I told myself it was the stress. I told myself it was the boss. I told myself it was his weak immune system.

He's okay. We're okay. He gets angry. A little slap here, a little squeeze there. It wasn't violence. It was just gigil.

That went on for 5 months.

Then he quit his job.

I take a 6:00 AM - 2:00 PM shift at my job. I wrote English crime articles for a foreign company.

At precisely 2:24 PM on the eve of our second anniversary, I open the door to our sanctuary.

I heard creaking, and thought it must be Lucien with his exercises. He says it's 3 months of 'funemployment'. I say it's 3 months of 'tambay'. He gets annoyed.

Unfortunately, somebody has to pay the bills, so I've OT-ed for so many days already. He wouldn't be expecting me this early.

I tip-toe to the bedroom door and open it gently, eager to surprise him

My heart sank.

The fair-skinned Kala Yu sat, half-naked, beside Lucien on the bed. She had her hand on his manhood. He had his palms on her cheeks. Kissing her. Inhaling her. Swallowing her.

She was a superviser from work. He used to say he hated her posh private-school credentials and red designer bags.

I ran out crying.

2:25 PM

It was a scene from a movie.

I come out from my office building in the pouring rain. I seek shelter below a green parasol of a nearby Starbucks, berating myself for forgetting my umbrella at home.

Lucien fled that horrid day - not to be seen again for 9 days. I was a wreck.

And then I see him.

In the rain.

Piercing black eyes, ruffled hair, slim figure, wet in the rain. Looking at me. With love and longing like that day on the stairs. With repentance.

He moved closer. The sting of alcohol on his breath. He was inches away from me now. Staring dead into me.

"I promise you. I will never see her again," he said each word slowly, surely.

I thought the certainty I heard in his voice was honesty.

I was wrong.

2:26 PM

It has been months since the she-devil manifested her presence in our home.

I tried to prevent myself from falling further, but the Lucien of the past months evaporated. Once again, he was the upbeat, smart-alecky, loving puppy of a boyfriend I knew.

He said he was happy with his "freelance" job - legal writings for clients here and there. He said he was happy working from home, catching up with his college friends, feeling "kolehiyala" again.

I was happy that he was happy.

I didn't tell him I was tired from working long hours at the office. I didn't tell him I was scrimping on my clothes, make-up for water, electricity. I didn't tell him our grocery expenses nearly doubled in the last year. I didn't tell him my savings account always seemed to dwindle down to 4 figures.

I also didn't tell him I knew that Kala still cast a shadow on his life. I didn't tell him I found out it was Kala who was giving him the P5,000/write-up side jobs. They talked only on chat, as far as I found out.

He promised me, right?

I also didn't nag him on the money he should be contributing. Money that he otherwise spent on friends, alcohol and God knows what.

I didn't want to risk his bad side.

I could still feel the phantom pain of that clenched fist on my wrist.

2:27 PM

I come home to a noisy spectacle of Lucien and his college friends drinking and smoking outside the apartment. One of Lucien's friends wolf-whistled as I approached. Lucien just laughed.

I ignored them and entered the room. I hurled myself on the bed. I turn to my phone.

Consi sends me a message request on Facebook. I still haven't forgiven her.

Idly, I open the message. Another sorry, perhaps?

I'm sick of sorries now. Between Lucien's fits of anger, our fights about Kala, his rowdy nights with friends and his desperate calls for forgiveness, 'sorry' is losing its meaning.

"I need to talk to you," Consi left a message.

She was online. I saw the floating dots. She was typing.

"May sakit Mama mo. Malala na. Puntahan mo siya."

I thought I was hallucinating. But the black text on gray didn't lie.

It's been nearly three years since I last talked to my mom.

I rushed to the bus terminal.

2:28 PM

I passed roads with potholes, gymnasiums with torn posters of our Mayor, lazy carabaos, and bare-foot children playing in the mud. Home never changed.

In our small bungalow in Tanauan, my mom lay still facing up with her eyes closed. Her wrinkles, sunspots belied the wry smile she tried to keep up.

Weakly, she said, "I'm sorry, anak."

She held out her hand. I moved closer, shuddering at the coldness.

"Sorry din, Ma."

I wish I said I love you, but the more I loved in this life, the more it hurt.

She needed help. I mentally computed the dizzying array of expenses - medicine, a hospital in Manila, a doctor's professional fee. Where would I get that money?

Chrissy pulled at my skirt.

"Ate, pray na lang tayo kay God?" her blue eyes pleaded to me.

In my head, Lucien's voice rings loud and clear, "There's no God. If there were one, he's a fool."

2:29 PM

By the time I got back to the apartment, I was exhausted.

I entered the room to find Lucien, two friends, and a big-chested girl with straight, black hair drinking on our dining table.

I motioned to talk to Lucien.

"Anong problema, baby?" he said as he started to play with the buttons on my shirt.

My anger exploded.

Thoughts of my helpless mother, Ms. Chrissy of the Universe, my stranger of a father, and this unbearable parade of Lucien, Lucien, Lucien. It was too much.

"Tumigil ka!" I spat and grabbed my shirt from his hands.

I started to cry.

"My mother is sick. Mamamatay siya at wala akong pera," I cried.

I forgot to add - because of you, Lucien.

His fists started to clench into tight balls.

"At kasalanan ko 'yan?" he screamed.

I could smell the gin on his breath.

His friends laughed like maniacs. Drunk.

"Come here," he said.

I said no.

"Come here," he said.

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me close. I tried to pry myself away from him but he was too strong.

He slammed my body facing the wall. He held me so tightly, his fist encircled the bones on mine. My body froze in shock.

"Para kang droga. Ayoko na sa'yo pero di ako makatiis."

He lifted my skirt up.

I started to beg him to stop.

His friends continued to laugh.

One of them took out his phone.

I heard a flash.

He thrusted inside me.

It was all pain now.

2:30 PM

When I woke up, I was in a pool of sweat in the floor of our apartment. My fists clenched as I descended into the nightmare of real life.

Lucien was nowhere to be found.

His friends were gone, too.

My cabinet was open. The money I kept for my daily cash needs was gone.

My body ached.

I reached for my phone and started to type.

I typed out words to the crime story I should have written months, years ago.

The pain, the sorries, the adultery, the theft of dignity and love.

I typed out with tears streaming down my face.

It starts with a clenched fist and ends with destruction.

You barely notice his tyranny on you.

It grows on you.

You make excuses.

You take ignorance rather than truth.

Until it's too late.

This is my story.

I hit post.

It's 2:30 PM.

[mjustlyca22-blog]

To make our relationship work, I needed to change, forget about my friends and I'm not even allowed to have friends, I don't talk to any of my friends because it will end up that we will hang out together with drinks and that's not what she wanted, she said everything will change since we were on a relationship, I'm contented of my life but it's kind of boring just doing the same routine almost eveyday, I'm allowed to be lazy but still have to think about the chores that needed to be done, I'm not happy to tell you honestly, I don't know what can make me happy I mean not all the time and I'm usually sad I'll just say it like that, yeah she's there I love that she makes me smile, but it feels like it's kind of difficult to live up with her expectations, it feels like I can't do the things without her permission and everytime I do something that she didn't know even though it's not something that she'd be mad of even the most innocent things it doesn't feel right so I tell her everything but also things that she'd be mad about I'd tell her anyway because she'll know eventually.

By the way I can only be friends with her friends. Back in college I wasn't good being a friend, I was the uncool, weird one and most inappropriate, they call me crazy sometimes but even tho I was struggling they were there for me even tho sometimes I thought that they don't care about me but as I grew up I realized it's shouldn't be that way because we have our own lives to live with and I love that everytime we had the chance to go out we actually went even though one of us has to leave first. Because even if I die right now, it's okay that they don't say anything about me because they already told me before how they care and appreciated me and I held on to those moments, even the people around me said some crazy things about me in front of me. I'm happy that I made an impact somehow lol but to my girlfriend she said some great things about me and there were awful things but I'd rather focus on the positive ones, I know she didn't mean saying those rude things to me because I know her when she's angry, but most of the time she was right about the bad things she told me, I am malandi, scandalosa, and short tempered. I'm not going to deny it because that's how I am, but I'm doing my best change that but I know it's not going to change on how she's going to look at me. I'm currently working on my temper, because that would me to my scandalosa stage of being and I don't want that. The reason I'm righting this thought of my mine because basically I wanted her to understand that I am not the only one who requires changes. I want her to understand me like I understand her, I want her to appreciate me like how I appreciate her, I want her know my worth like I know her worth, I want her to also compromise, I always choose to see the good side of her but it's kind of disappointing sometimes when I really want something like a hug or a kiss you know me it's not always going to be enough, I don't want to be pushed away, I hate it, because it will not take away my gigil feels and it's gonna make it worst. So the lambing moments sometimes ends up with a fight, good thing it's not all the time. What I actually love about her is that she have her own principle that no one could take away, and I know she looks strong but i can feel that she's struggling too because she can't seem to get what she want from me. She wanted me to be perfect and which is impossible to do, but I now know that I had to be careful if I don't want to lose her but sometimes when she picks a fight with me, it feels like she's doing it on purpose just to have a reason to let go of me, she gave me a chance that I didn't expect, I really thought that we were not going to get back together at that time tho, a lot of things changed I was just a happy go lucky kiddo but things changed when I felt guilty talking to other people that time and we were not on yet that time, so I did the best I can to distance myself without offending someone.

[nebris]

38 Wonderful Words With No English Equivalent

Sometimes we must turn to other languages to find le mot juste. Here are a whole bunch of foreign words with no direct English equivalent.    

1. Kummerspeck (German) Excess weight gained from emotional overeating. Literally, grief bacon.    

2. Shemomedjamo (Georgian) You know when you’re really full, but your meal is just so delicious, you can’t stop eating it? The Georgians feel your pain. This word means, “I accidentally ate the whole thing."    

3. Tartle (Scots) The nearly onomatopoeic word for that panicky hesitation just before you have to introduce someone whose name you can't quite remember.    

4. Mamihlapinatapai (Yaghan language of Tierra del Fuego) This word captures that special look shared between two people, when both are wishing that the other would do something that they both want, but neither want to do.    

5. Backpfeifengesicht (German) A face badly in need of a fist.    

6. Iktsuarpok (Inuit) You know that feeling of anticipation when you’re waiting for someone to show up at your house and you keep going outside to see if they’re there yet? This is the word for it.    

7. Pelinti (Buli, Ghana) Your friend bites into a piece of piping hot pizza, then opens his mouth and sort of tilts his head around while making an “aaaarrrahh” noise. The Ghanaians have a word for that. More specifically, it means “to move hot food around in your mouth.”    

8. Greng-jai (Thai) That feeling you get when you don't want someone to do something for you because it would be a pain for them.    

9. Mencolek (Indonesian) You know that old trick where you tap someone lightly on the opposite shoulder from behind to fool them? The Indonesians have a word for it.    

10. Faamiti (Samoan) To make a squeaking sound by sucking air past the lips in order to gain the attention of a dog or child.    

11. Gigil (Filipino) The urge to pinch or squeeze something that is irresistibly cute.    

12. Yuputka (Ulwa) A word made for walking in the woods at night, it’s the phantom sensation of something crawling on your skin.    

13. Zhaghzhagh (Persian) The chattering of teeth from the cold or from rage.    

14. Vybafnout (Czech) A word tailor-made for annoying older brothers—it means to jump out and say boo.    

15. Fremdschämen (German); Myötähäpeä (Finnish) The kinder, gentler cousins of Schadenfreude, both these words mean something akin to "vicarious embarrassment.”    

16. Lagom (Swedish) Maybe Goldilocks was Swedish? This slippery little word is hard to define, but means something like, “Not too much, and not too little, but juuuuust right.”    

17. Pålegg (Norwegian) Sandwich Artists unite! The Norwegians have a non-specific descriptor for anything – ham, cheese, jam, Nutella, mustard, herring, pickles, Doritos, you name it – you might consider putting into a sandwich.    

18. Layogenic (Tagalog) Remember in Clueless when Cher describes someone as “a full-on Monet … from far away, it’s OK, but up close it’s a big old mess”? That’s exactly what this word means.    

19. Bakku-shan (Japanese) Or there's this Japanese slang term, which describes the experience of seeing a woman who appears pretty from behind but not from the front.    

20. Seigneur-terraces (French) Coffee shop dwellers who sit at tables a long time but spend little money.    

21. Ya’arburnee (Arabic) This word is the hopeful declaration that you will die before someone you love deeply, because you cannot stand to live without them. Literally, may you bury me.    

22. Pana Po’o (Hawaiian) “Hmm, now where did I leave those keys?” he said, pana po’oing. It means to scratch your head in order to help you remember something you’ve forgotten.    

23. Slampadato (Italian) Addicted to the UV glow of tanning salons? This word describes you.    

24. Zeg (Georgian) It means “the day after tomorrow.” OK, we do have "overmorrow" in English, but when was the last time someone used that?    

25. Cafune (Brazilian Portuguese) Leave it to the Brazilians to come up with a word for “tenderly running your fingers through your lover’s hair.”    

26. Koi No Yokan (Japanese) The sense upon first meeting a person that the two of you are going to fall in love.    

27. Kaelling (Danish) You know that woman who stands on her doorstep (or in line at the supermarket, or at the park, or in a restaurant) cursing at her children? The Danes know her, too.    

28. Boketto (Japanese) It’s nice to know that the Japanese think enough of the act of gazing vacantly into the distance without thinking to give it a name.    

29. L’esprit de l’escalier (French) Literally, stairwell wit—a too-late retort thought of only after departure.    

30. Cotisuelto (Caribbean Spanish) A word that would aptly describe the prevailing fashion trend among American men under 40, it means one who wears the shirt tail outside of his trousers.    

31. Packesel (German) The packesel is the person who’s stuck carrying everyone else’s bags on a trip. Literally, a burro.    

32. Hygge (Danish) Denmark’s mantra, hygge is the pleasant, genial, and intimate feeling associated with sitting around a fire in the winter with close friends.    

33. Cavoli Riscaldati (Italian) The result of attempting to revive an unworkable relationship. Translates to "reheated cabbage."    

34. Bilita Mpash (Bantu) An amazing dream. Not just a "good" dream; the opposite of a nightmare.    

35. Litost (Czech) Milan Kundera described the emotion as “a state of torment created by the sudden sight of one’s own misery.”    

36. Luftmensch (Yiddish) There are several Yiddish words to describe social misfits. This one is for an impractical dreamer with no business sense.    

37 & 38. Schlemiel and schlimazel (Yiddish) Someone prone to bad luck. Yiddish distinguishes between the schlemiel and schlimazel, whose fates would probably be grouped under those of the klutz in other languages. The schlemiel is the traditional maladroit, who spills his coffee; the schlimazel is the one on whom it's spilled.    

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/38-wonderful-words-with-no-english-equivalent

[djsamaha-blog]

New Neuroscience Reveals 3 Secrets That Will Make You Emotionally Intelligent

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Before we commence with the festivities, I wanted to thank everyone for helping my first book become a Wall Street Journal bestseller. To check it out, click here.

***

Emotional Intelligence. It’s everywhere. They won’t shut up about it. And yet nobody seems to be able to explain what it really means or how you develop it.

Face it: you don’t even know what an emotion is. Most people would say an emotion is a feeling. And what’s a feeling? Umm… an emotion? Yeah, nice work there, Captain Circular.

And it turns out the latest research shows that the little we know about emotions is actually all wrong. And I mean really wrong.

Lisa Feldman Barrett is a Professor of Psychology at Northeastern University, with appointments at Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School. Her new book How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain turns everything you know about the feels upside down.

Buckle in. We’re gonna learn the real story behind how emotions work, why they’re so difficult to deal with, and why the secret to emotional intelligence might just be the Merriam-Webster dictionary.

Time to fire up Occam’s chainsaw. Let’s get to work…

Why We’re Wrong About Emotions

Your fundamental emotions are hardwired and universal, right? We all have a crayon box with the same set of colors: anger, fear, happiness, sadness, etc.

And the latest research says that’s all wrong. W-w-w-w-what? You heard me. Actually, some cultures don’t have the full crayon box of emotions.

People in Tahiti don’t have sadness. Yeah, if you lived on a gorgeous island in the Pacific you’d probably feel sadness a lot less often but the Tahitian people literally don’t possess that emotion.

From How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain:

Utka Eskimos have no concept of “Anger.” The Tahitians have no concept of “Sadness.” This last item is very difficult for Westerners to accept… life without sadness? Really? When Tahitians are in a situation that a Westerner would describe as sad, they feel ill, troubled, fatigued, or unenthusiastic, all of which are covered by their broader term pe’ape’a.

And other cultures have crayon colors you and I have never seen before.

From How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain:

Norwegians have a concept for an intense joy of falling in love, calling it “Forelsket.”

Gigil (Filipino): The urge to hug or squeeze something that is unbearably adorable.

The Japanese emotion concept “Arigata-meiwaku” is felt when someone has done you a favor that you didn’t want from them, and which may have caused difficulty for you, but you’re required to be grateful anyway.

I know what many people are thinking: You’re cheating. Wanting to hug Hello Kitty isn’t a real emotion. And pe’ape-whatever is just sadness by another name.

But that’s insisting that emotions are hardwired and universal. And research pretty convincingly shows they’re not.

From How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain:

Where emotions and the autonomic nervous system are concerned, four significant meta-analyses have been conducted in the last two decades, the largest of which covered more than 220 physiology studies and nearly 22,000 test subjects. None of these four meta-analyses found consistent and specific emotion fingerprints in the body.

There is no set crayon box. Emotions aren’t hardwired or universal. They’re concepts that we learn. And so they can differ from culture to culture.

If you think that pe’ape’a and sadness are the same thing, let me ask you a question: would you mistake “regret” for “heartache”? Would you confuse “disappointment” with “mourning”?

I didn’t think so. Could you call them all “sad”? I guess… But would that feel remotely accurate to you? Again, I doubt it.

You don’t feel “Forelsket” for the same reason you don’t speak Norwegian: you were never taught it.

From How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain:

Fago, litost, and the rest are not emotions… to you. That’s because you don’t know these emotion concepts; the associated situations and goals are not important in middle-class American culture. Your brain cannot issue predictions based on “Fago,” so the concept doesn’t feel automatic the way that happiness and sadness do to you… Yes, fago, litost, and the rest are just words made up by people, but so are “happy,” “sad,” “fearful,” “angry,” “disgusted,” and “surprised.”

If you had been raised somewhere different, you might feel something different. Emotions vary between people (do you simmer when you feel angry or do you break furniture?). And they vary dramatically between cultures.

But if you only have concepts for “anger”, “happiness”, and “sadness” then that’s all you’re ever going to see.

Often we pick these concepts up just from living in a culture, others we’re taught explicitly as children. And they’re transmitted from one person to the next, from one generation to the next.

When we experience a sensation, an emotion concept is triggered like a memory and actually constructed by the brain. It’s nearly immediate and you’re largely unaware of the process.

From How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain:

I felt sadness in that moment because, having been raised in a certain culture, I learned long ago that “sadness” is something that may occur when certain bodily feelings coincide with terrible loss. Using bits and pieces of past experience, such as my knowledge of shootings and my previous sadness about them, my brain rapidly predicted what my body should do to cope with such tragedy. Its predictions caused my thumping heart, my flushed face, and the knots in my stomach. They directed me to cry, an action that would calm my nervous system. And they made the resulting sensations meaningful as an instance of sadness. In this manner, my brain constructed my experience of emotion.

(To learn more about the science of a successful life, check out my new book here.)

So now you know how emotions work. And that leads us to how we can develop that fabled “emotional intelligence” everyone keeps yammering about. So what’s the first step?

1) Emotional Intelligence Starts With Emotional Granularity

It’s a big understatement to say that if the only emotion concepts you recognize are “me feel good” and “me feel bad” you’re not going to be very emotionally intelligent.

I see red, blue and green. An interior decorator sees periwinkle, salmon, sage, magenta and cyan. (And that is only one of many reasons you don’t want me decorating your house.)

The more time you take to distinguish the emotions you feel, to recognize them as distinct and different, the more emotionally intelligent you will become. This is called “emotional granularity.”

From How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain:

So, a key to EI is to gain new emotion concepts and hone your existing ones.

Similar to the interior decorator, emotionally intelligent people don’t say “me feel good.” They distinguish between happy, ecstatic, joyful and awesome.

They’re like the oenophiles of emotions: This sadness is bittersweet, with fine notes of despondency and an aftertaste of lingering regret.

From How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain:

…if you could distinguish finer meanings within “Awesome” (happy, content, thrilled, relaxed, joyful, hopeful, inspired, prideful, adoring, grateful, blissful.. .), and fifty shades of “Crappy” (angry, aggravated, alarmed, spiteful, grumpy, remorseful, gloomy, mortified, uneasy, dread-ridden, resentful, afraid, envious, woeful, melancholy.. .), your brain would have many more options for predicting, categorizing, and perceiving emotion, providing you with the tools for more flexible and functional responses.

And the people who won’t shut up about the importance of EI are right. Having lower emotional granularity is associated with a lot of bad things — like emotional and personality disorders.

From How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain:

People who have major depressive disorder, social anxiety disorder, eating disorders, autism spectrum disorders, borderline personality disorder, or who just experience more anxiety and depressed feelings all tend to exhibit lower granularity for negative emotion.

More importantly, when you’re able to finely discern what you’re feeling, you’re able to do something constructive to deal with the problems causing them.

If the only negative emotion concept you have is “me feel bad” you’re going to have a difficult time making yourself feel better. So you’ll resort to ineffective coping methods like, oh, bourbon.

Note: The results of my exceedingly thorough study on the topic of bourbon as an ineffective emotional coping technique (n=1) will be forthcoming.

But if you’re able to distinguish the more specific “I feel alone” from merely “me feel bad” you’re able to deal with the problem: you call a friend.

And having a higher level of emotional granularity leads to good things in life.

From How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain:

Higher emotional granularity has other benefits for a satisfying life. In a collection of scientific studies, people who could distinguish finely among their unpleasant feelings— those “fifty shades of feeling crappy”— were 30 percent more flexible when regulating their emotions, less likely to drink excessively when stressed, and less likely to retaliate aggressively against someone who has hurt them.

(To learn 6 rituals from ancient wisdom that will make you happy, click here.)

Okay, so you’re taking the time to distinguish your feelings. You’re going from white belt “me feel bad” to black belt “I am consumed by ennui.” Great. How do you take it to the next level?

2) Emotional Intelligence Is In The Dictionary

I don’t mean you can find the word “emotional intelligence” in the dictionary. Well, yeah, you can, but that’s not what I mean. I mean a dictionary can actually help you develop emotional intelligence.

If you don’t know what “ennui” means, you’re not going to be able to distinguish it. Learning more emotion words is the key to recognizing more subtle emotion concepts.

From How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain:

You’ve probably never thought about learning words as a path to greater emotional health, but it follows directly from the neuroscience of construction. Words seed your concepts, concepts drive your predictions, predictions regulate your body budget, and your body budget determines how you feel. Therefore, the more finely grained your vocabulary, the more precisely your predicting brain can calibrate your budget to your body’s needs. In fact, people who exhibit higher emotional granularity go to the doctor less frequently, use medication less frequently, and spend fewer days hospitalized for illness.

Now being a Scrabble champ, by itself, doesn’t necessarily make you emotionally intelligent. You still need to sit with your emotions and spend the time to distinguish them and label them.

So are you angry, furious, or just cranky? Recognize your emotions. Make the feelings distinct.

(To learn the 4 rituals neuroscience says will make you happy, click here.)

But what if the dictionary ain’t cutting it? What if no word does justice to something you feel on a regular basis?

No problem. Emotions aren’t hardwired. They’re concepts. And that means something really, really cool: you can make your own…

3) Create New Emotions

I know, sounds crazy. But Lisa Feldman Barrett says this is another excellent way to increase emotional intelligence. And it’s not as hard as you think.

Ever feel “out of it” or just “off”? You had sensations but no concept bucket that “fit” them. So your brain shrugged and threw it in the “miscellaneous” pile.

So give those feelings a name. That dread you feel on Sunday night knowing you need to go to work tomorrow? “Sunday-nitis.” Or that special something that you feel around your partner? “Passion-o-rama.”

Those are unique sensations. Give them an emotion. Learn to distinguish them from the other forms of dread or elation.

Yeah, it might feel a little silly at first but don’t let that hold you back. In Japan they have “age-otori” — “The feeling of looking worse after a haircut.” We’ve all felt that. It just took one emotionally intelligent genius to give it a name. Be that genius.

And if you want to make it more real: share the emotion with someone. Tell your partner the name of that unique feeling they give you. Maybe they feel it too.

Happiness and sadness and even “age-otori” are all constructed concepts. They become real because we have agreed on them with others. Dollars are just green paper rectangles — until we all agree they have value.

Add new colors to your emotional crayon box and you can draw a better emotional life for yourself — and others.

(To learn how to make friends as an adult, click here.)

Alright, we’ve learned a lot about emotional intelligence. Or emotional smarts. Or emotional genius. (Hey, words matter. Make distinctions.) Let’s round it all up and find out the best way to get started…

Sum Up

Here’s how to be more emotionally intelligent:

Emotions are concepts: They’re not hardwired or universal. They’re learned.

Emotional intelligence starts with emotional granularity: If your doctor came back with a diagnosis of “you’re sick”, you’d sue the quack for malpractice. Doctors need to be able to distinguish between “chancre” and “cancer.” And you need to know the difference between “sad” and “lonely.”

Emotional intelligence is in the dictionary: You can’t feel Fremdschämen if you don’t know what it is. So learn new emotion words so you can feel new emotions and increase your emotional granularity.

Create new emotions: We could all use a little more “passion-o-rama” in our lives. Name those unnamed feelings you have and share them with others to make them real.

I post on this blog weekly. I have not missed a week for the eight years this blog has been in existence. But I have not posted anything new in a month. Because *I* have been dealing with some very icky emotions.

To all who reached out to me, I offer you a heartfelt thanks. (And Jason, Lisa, Jodie, Debbie and Trisha all get gold stars for going above and beyond the call of duty.)

The specifics of how I have been feeling is of little consequence. But the emotion I am feeling now may be of some use to you: I feel “gratitudinous.”

Yeah, that’s my own new emotion. Because “grateful” just ain’t gonna cut it.

Grateful is how you feel when someone loans you a dollar. Gratitudinous has awe. It’s when you get help you didn’t expect. At levels you didn’t think were possible. And from people who, frankly, you piss off with frightening regularity.

Gratitudinous also has hope and optimism in its recipe in a way grateful doesn’t. Autocorrect doesn’t like it much, but it works for me just fine. I’ve shared it with you. That makes it real.

What’s the emotion that describes how you feel around the people closest to you? Don’t reply with one word. I want a concept. A constellation of feelings. Give it a name.

Share this post with those people and tell them your new emotion. The utterly unique way they make you feel. Hopefully it will become a word you use regularly.

Emotions are fleeting. But they are unavoidable and they are the most human of all things. They are not universals; they are arbitrary. But if we feel them deeply and we share them with others, nothing in this life is more real.

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Posted On: August 30, 2017

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